#you have to talk some sense into ur silly kitty but be nice bc he needs reassurance and the cuddles he missed dearly!!!

[blooming-cecilia]

bard thoughts.....

bites my fist

househusband venti thoughts + being left alone w his baby and spending the day with them while spouse is at work .....

[plumppeachprincess]

Okay so like! I used to do poetry sorta things to vent and also to be gay and while my bf is at work and I’m Geared Up I’m gonna do smth gay and it isn’t going to be v poetic it’s just v ranty and Imma put ti under a cut cause ew PDA but also like. Yeah.

3:12 PM 1/2/20

‘Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits prison, chivalry fell on it's sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door’

From Eden - Hozier

I can’t get over the fact that this man, when I was upset, didn’t ask me if I needed help and didn’t ask if there was anyway he Could help, instead he’s learned from the past that I will say no and try to deal with it myself. No! This man just immediately went okay I’m going to do this thing bc when you do it it cheers me up so Imma do it and VOILA I immediately was feeling loads better! From him tagging me and sending me things I was interested in like fucking Hello Kitty or just colors that reminded him of me.

I think this is one of the signs throughout our time together that just reminds me how different he is? I know this may sound...sad, but like, everytime I’ve entered a relationship before this one it was sorta kinda more like Pressured feeling.

Like okay I guess if I say no we’ll be awkward and no longer friends so Imma say yes bc ur super nice and it could be nice! Not to mention every other relationship has immediately been sexual and as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed that there’s this pressure on myself to be sexual because I grew up, uh, very hurt and abused in that manner so I associated that immediately with Love. Like in my brain clearly you did not think I loved you unless we had sex, right?

My love is very...he’s very different- he understands when I said that that it made sense to him? I don’t know, I can’t even make sense of it myself, but he understands and that means the world to me.

Also! Me being concerned about my childish interests! I’ve always had to be the ‘adult’ and ‘the mother’ in a relationship and always kinda held any of how I felt more childishly back. Hell even a lot of my emotions had to be held back for the sake of others but...

I can just talk to him! TALK to him! He doesn’t immediately get angry if I say something, he doesn’t get upset if I’m upset and feels he needs to shut me down, no! He listens and he talks to me like a fucking adult and we can work out what a problem may be before it gets big or we can talk about our interests with Fun teasing and not Genuine teasing!

Like his thing? Titanic! History! Video game lore! And ofc I’ll tease him and poke at him the same way he does with me liking like fucking clown figurines or Hello Kitty!

He’s also incredibly sweet. INCREDIBLY sweet. Even if I’m upset over something irrational he reminds me that I’m still upset over something and THAT isn’t irrational, my feelings, and we’ll talk about it and gently shift conversations if I need a distraction from it or we’ll talk about it. Gosh I went off about the beauty community the other day and he was perfectly ready to engage in conversation- he didn’t have to, he could have just said yeah uhuh mhm and called it good.

I haven’t had a love like this before. Because when people used to say your loved one is your best friend, I tried to shift it into that. Hell, my last relationship was me struggling TO make it like that and only ending up with someone who wanted it to be Perfect. No arguments, no being upset, no Communicating, just have it be perfect without any work.

But with him? We fall perfectly into that category and I can see why my parents have been together as long as they have with their relationship. Because he IS my best friend and my sweetheart. We can talk from something cute and soft to poking fun at each other for like- idk me liking Minecraft and him playing WOW. Like it’s fun! It’s nice! It’s very loving.

A romance with him is something I’d only ever dreamed of. This sorta happy balance of romantic and adoring, to silly and bantering. I cannot explain how happy I am in this relationship- it’s been 8 months and I haven’t even felt the nervousness I normally get around this time of like ‘am I enough? Is HE enough? Can he handle me?’ 

Bc clearly he can! I just hope he feels the same about me, that I’m doing good enough for him on his down days and his happy days.

Also he’s v cute. Like if you look at me than him there’s no similarities. Ya got him, who is such a pretty boy, no tattoos, no piercings, very boy next door vibes and then I look like I pick him up on Fridays on a motorcycle so we can go to a fucking bar or some shit.

His smile lights up the world and my heart, the way he has different laughs that vary depending on the scenario from high pitched giggles to a deep, throaty laugh. He’s just so silly I love him so much.