#you have to be either the biggest god damn idiot or a racist to think that shit is okay at the big age of 23 no less

[alltimefail-sims]

I'm not going to reblog that racist ass Bob Pancakes makeover and give that troll any notes or attention they desperately want, but I just wanted to say that if you take an existing black sim and make them white, you're a dickbag racist and a clown. No exceptions.

[mackeralsauce]

'kay gonna rant ab some frustrations (very opinionated) with the cuttletavio community and whatnot. don't like it? move on! more down below:

(TW for mentions of heavy topics and similar. I'm tired of people being uncreative and diluting the ship to 'toxic yaoi yay!!!'. Oh, and mentions of NSFW in passing.)

Oh my fucking god. Can we stop with the boring-ass 'Toxic Old Man Yaoi' bullshit already? It's so overplayed and uncreative.

There's gonna be a lot of people who disagree with my takes in this, and frankly, I don't care! I'm shrimply tired of seeing the same old cycle repeat in this fandom of 'cool big artist or writer ends up making something frankly disgusting with cuttletavio'. I block liberally and whatever so there's your forewarning and whatnot.

Another forewarning is that I am very much autistic and so these issues drive me to this point because I see much more potential in the ship! This is one of my special interests.

Part 1: Toxic Tropes, Abuse, and Everything Inbetween.

Every time I hear about something in this fandom, it's someone making content of Octavio and Craig that involves abuse, homewrecking, non-con, racism, fetishization, or anything else under the shit bucket! Yeah, yeah, people on the internet can have their opinions. It's not inherently bad to represent issues like that, but it's the fact that it is ALWAYS portrayed in a romanticized light! Because let me remind you, this community is for the *ship* between these two characters. Representation of such topics need to be done tastefully. Real people are harmed by shit like that, and spoiler alert! I should fucking know.

There's so much "Craig being racist haha!" jokes from certain groups. That's primarily the fault of the NA translation of Splatoon, but it's still quite irritating. There is much more to his character than just that. Really, is that the ONLY fucking joke you idiots have? Damn. Boring as hell! Not to mention we know from interviews that even nowadays he wished for peace and tries to help any Octarian he comes across... Oh, and I won't name names, but some people just straight up BUTCHER his character. Yuck.

Then there's the portrayal of Octavio. Typically, people outside of the cuttletavio community will end up portraying him as a fascist dictator (gross and wrong). We have the opposite problem here. People straight-up infantilize him, make him woobified, etc. which annoys me quite a bit. I think we forget that, y'know... HE IS A SHOGUN? A COMMANDER? Such a government is going to be militaristic. I'm not saying that he's evil, but making him out to be an innocent 'widdol guy' is just. Eugh. Not to mention this is usually done because of headcanons involving him to be trans. I love Trans Octavio headcanons! But I hate the overfeminization and overtwinkification of him. Let him be strong and trans, is that so hard?

And these topics are the small potatas. My biggest gripe is when people make their ship to be just 'toxic yaoi' and bluh bluh boring. Look, I get it, there's people who eat that slop up. Whatever floats your boat. But holy FUCK the amount of straight-up garbage and romanticization and lack of creativity I see...

Part 2: Missed Potential and Lack of Creativity.

Oh my fucking god. We have this one ship between two queer adults who grow to old age, and you guys can't even let it be healthy? Yes, I get there was war, but it doesn't mean they were fucking toxic when they were dating. Whatever your interpretation is, you don't have to make them cruel, horrible people to each other. Even if your interpretation involves them being morally grey or complex characters, you can make them have flaws without making them abusers.

Let me explain this: Romance is very, very complicated. It's not all sex, and it's not all fluff either. Most interpretations I see of cuttletavio are often 'All or Nothing' on certain factors. The three popular topics people put their stocks in are Angst, Sex, and Fluff. This is expected in fandom, but what bothers me is that so few people actually consider the alternatives, and that its usually ALL of one trait without anything else. Angst for the purpose of just angst doesn't hit, it's just edgy and boring. All smut with no love will wear thin. Tooth-rotting fluff has no substance if you don't even show the platonic side of their relationship. A good romance is oft built on a good friendship. Why not delve into those aspects? If you need them to kiss to tell they're in love, then you're doing it wrong.

Of course, that critique is moreso a small one. Beginner writers can easily fall into those and that's alright. Why it bothers me is because there is such a drought of good content- at least from my scope of view thus far- in cuttletavio. There is potential for greatness (and I am not slacking on trying to showcase this; I am working on my own content in the meantime), but hardly anyone delves into it. Why not explore how they got to know each other? The complexities of their characters? Tropes are alright, but get to a deeper level, and find the human within the idea. Not only that, but explore the world they're in! The circumstances of why they're in war! The politics, the governments, and the cultures of the time. These are old men in a fictional post-apocalyptic society devoid of humans. The inkfish could have evolved culturally in completely different ways! Please, just explore SOMETHING!

Y'wanna know why the whole toxic yaoi shit bothers me so much? Because it lacks creativity. It's overdone. Stale bread. It's like the slop they serve in a school cafeteria. You can get toxic yaoi ANYWHERE! It's such a common, overplayed trope for mlm ships, that you'll never go devoid of it. So why make cuttletavio into it? I haven't seen anything creative enough to excuse it. All i've seen is people committing character assassination and stripping them of any of their intrigue or humanity. It's bland. I'm sick of it.

Conclusion.

I'm too exhausted to write any more of this but yeagh. Just sick of this shit. There is potential to these two old men, both in their youthful and elderly years. Let them make love, war, friendship, and peace. Don't reduce them to poor dollar-a-dime toxic yaoi tropes that have become tired and sloppy from years of poorly written BL and similar.

If you can't write/draw/etc. good romance or sex without making them abusive in ANY way (cheating, non-con, physically, emotionally, etc.) then you need to learn how to write complex characters and complex stories. You can have characters argue without it being abuse. You can have complicated dynamics without all that.

[haloud]

running through your veins

ao3 ----------------------

On days like this where Kyle spends five hours saving a single life, he celebrates by getting outrageously drunk and, more often than not, getting off with a random stranger in the backseat of his car. If anyone asks where he’s been, he says he’s “reminding himself he’s alive,” which—since it’s usually his mom doing the asking—earns him rolled eyes and a smack to the back of the head. But guess what, mom. He’s a grown man now, and he’s not scared of the safe sex lecture she would always gleefully use as a punishment if he got caught sneaking around with girls. Grinning against the rim of his glass, Kyle knocks back another shot of tequila.

He doesn’t usually drink at the Wild Pony, if only because DeLuca doesn’t like him; he knows she overcharges him and sticks the extra cash in a donation jar. And hey, he can’t really blame her, but the atmosphere generally isn’t so good for his party of one. Tonight, though, he can’t stop rubbing his fingers together to remind himself the gloves are off, can’t stop smelling blood. Drinking alone isn’t really so appealing, no matter how loud he turns up the music, so the Wild Pony it is

His wild night, turns out, even comes with a show. He watches for about an hour, getting increasingly wasted, as Michael Guerin successfully bilks Racist Hank out of two hundred dollars.

Part of him wants to blame the tequila for the way he blushes every time Guerin lays himself languid and slow over the pool table, giving Kyle a perfect view of his ass under soft old denim jeans, shirt riding up to show the smooth skin of his waist. DeLuca does keep some damn good tequila on the shelf, but Kyle prides himself on being man enough to—eventually—own up to the handies he traded with his roommate sophomore year at Michigan, so he’s not going to wuss out now. He props his elbows on the bar and rolls a shot glass between his hands. His type basically stops at smart, like maybe med school broke something in his brain after it rendered him incapable of even jacking off without thinking about studying. And Guerin’s definitely that, Kyle thinks, thumbing his bottom lip. Last time he broke down and drank at the Pony, he had front row seats to another occasion when Guerin took Hank for all he was worth after Hank dared him to get viciously drunk, go outside, and take his engine apart, which Guerin did, then put it back together so fast it was damn near superhuman.

So Guerin’s got one point in the brains column and a question mark under the “anatomy class” column, but is it enough to balance out the inherent negatives of hooking up with a local? When your mom is the sheriff, that can get ugly quick, and Kyle is, like, way too drunk to work out the math right now, so he just waves his hand at the non-DeLuca bartender because more tequila will definitely help him make a decision.

(Maybe Maria would like him better if he learned the names of her employees.)

(…Nahhhhhh.)

“I’m cutting you off,” DeLuca interrupts, appearing seemingly out of nowhere to shoo her bartender away.

“DeLucaaaaaaa,” Kyle whines, and he squishes his cheek against the bar which smells—Kyle sniffs—reassuringly of Pine-sol and spilled beer, and nothing at all like copper or bleach.

“Nope, nn-mm, no way, McDreamy. Your money’s not good enough to make me deal with your mama when she has to scrape you off the floor.”

At the mention of his mother, Kyle tries to snap himself up into better posture, but his biggest success is not falling backwards off the barstool. Combing his fingers through his hair, he looks around frantically and tries to just look regular drunk. DeLuca snorts out a laugh, not a real one but not a mean one either.

“She’s not here yet. But it’s only a matter of time before Guerin starts throwing punches, so. Sheriff’s son’s gotta go, or else I’m borrowing trouble.”

Kyle spins around to look out at the bar, and sure enough, he peers across the room to the pool tables, where Guerin is grinning kinda sleepy and dangerous with his hands in the air, nearly chest to chest with a red-faced Hank.

Nnnh. He doesn’t want to see any violence, bruises, bloody lips. Not tonight. He slides off the stool, grabs the bar to right himself, and wobbles as he straightens up. Hehe. Straightens. Just ‘cause his Guerin-boner went away doesn’t mean it’s not still funny.

“Valenti, what the hell are you doing.” DeLuca hisses as Kyle staggers away. He flaps his hand behind himself in a way he hopes is reassuring, because he’s totally got this.

“You guys done with the table?” He says loudly, pointedly not tripping on anything as he crosses the floor. Hank sneers at him and says something foul, but what’s he gonna do? Kyle’s got dirt on that guy, uh-huh, and he’s got a bunch of codes, but the football team bro-code shit is way past its expiration date. Hank tries to, like, loom over him as Kyle leans on a pool cue to hide his swaying back and forth, and that’s definitely annoying, but Kyle’s more concerned with the way Guerin bares his teeth and the way it’s both scary and really hot.

“Why, you lookin’ for a game? At least I know you can afford the buy in, Doc.” Guerin drawls.

“I don’t have any cash. And I don’t know how to play pool, because beer pong is the real man’s game. But here.” He fumbles his wallet out of his pocket and slaps it down on the wooden edge of the table. “I’ll open a tab if you wanna give lessons ‘stead of sleeping in a cell tonight. And making me talk to my mom when I’m wasted,” he adds mournfully, rubbing his hand over the chalky end of the cue. Even drunk, he doesn’t miss the way Guerin’s eyes flick briefly to the motion. Nice.

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that? God damn, I come to this bar to avoid people like you; aren’t you late to get your chest waxed or some shit?” Guerin snaps, and hey, it’s none of Guerin’s business (yet) what parts of him are or aren’t waxed professionally. But guess what, Kyle’s already winning, because Guerin doesn’t even blink when Hank fucks off to do Racist Hank things somewhere else, even though that’s the fight he was spoiling for walking away.

“I mean…I can just leave if you’re not looking for easy money…and not looking to show off”

“I’d have to be as drunk as you are right now to take you up on this, and I don’t think that’s even possible for me. Buzz off, Valenti.”

“I gave you an open opportunity to try,” Kyle points to his wallet still perched between them. “C’mon, Guerin. One game. You can kick my ass like you never actually got to in high school! Call it cth—caht—catharsis.”

Nailed it.

“Fine.” Guerin ticks his jaw, runs his tongue over his teeth, and it makes Kyle all warm and tingly even as Guerin snatches the cue out of his hand. “One game. And if you can’t beat me after that, you’re gonna be losing a lot of fucking money, Valenti.”

One game turns into two, actually, and is Kyle learning anything with Guerin hot like a fever—and maybe it’s just the flush of the alcohol, but being all over him feels like burning up—moving his arms and pressed up against his back? No, not really. But it turns out Guerin’s not so bad when he shakes out his curls and laughs around the mouth of a bottle of beer like he can’t believe himself for spending time with Kyle of all people, especially a version of Kyle so uncoordinated he can barely wrap his brain around the concept of breaking, like, in general, let alone any of the trick shots Guerin is easily enticed into demonstrating with the fluid grace of a truly practiced drunk.

They aren’t buddies; even if they did see each other outside of the Pony, they wouldn’t acknowledge each other at all. Kyle doesn’t start going to the bar more frequently, either, not to seek Guerin out or for any other reason. But if every now and then he feels like some drunk company and the night ends up with Kyle’s wallet feeling light and him on his back in the bed of Guerin’s truck?

Well.

Ain’t life worth living after all?

[drumpfwatch]

On the Shutdown: Stop Being a Child

So, it’s been a whole month that the government has been shut down, and I think it’s high time I start talking about it. For those wondering, I decided against deconstructing his entire wall speech. The New York Times did a good enough job of it, and I feel like giving attention to that instead of the shutdown would be the wrong choice, since the whole point was to distract. So let’s talk about what Trump doesn’t want us talking about: Trump’s biggest failure, the Shut Down.

So, the shutdown began on December 22nd when the government presented a budget to Trump (Who was accused by a 14 year old of sexual assault) that did not include funding for a wall. Let’s forget for a moment that he promised time and again that Mexico would pay for it so we shouldn’t need to budget for it at all. And no, that weird roundabout excuse he has of the new UMCA doesn’t work. First, because that’s not how the economy works. Honestly I could probably write an entire post about how UMCA is bullshit but that’s not something I’m qualified or interested in speaking on at the moment. Second, even if this new deal somehow magically got Mexico to pay for our government expenses and not, y’know, the things they are actually buying, then we should be able to filter all that money directly to the wall with the trade deal and not our congressional budget, I think, so wouldn’t that be irrelevant anyway?

Sure, that’s not a guarantee. My knowledge of the actual workings of trade deals isn’t intricate enough to be certain enough to say that as a fact, so that’s not the point I’ll be making here. I just find it really fucking funny that Mexico is supposed to be funding the thing but because Congress won’t pass a budget it’s not happening. But whatever, let’s get back on track.

The shutdown was started because of the wall, and the fact that Democrats won’t give money for it. We’ll talk about the wall itself later, but for now I want to talk about how utterly ridiculous this is. Trump is behaving like a child. See, he knows that with the Democrats in power in the House, he’s never going to get it. They won’t approve a budget for a wall, and if they don’t, it won’t ever get to him. In their response to the President’s address, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer basically said “We’ll talk about this and come to an actually reasonable answer once the government is opened and we can actually talk about it.” Trump either knows that the reasonable answer is not a wall, or is to stupid to know and just wants his wall. Either way, he can’t get what he wants, so he’s going to scream and cry and carry on until he does, and blame the Democrats for not “playing along” when the ENTIRE OPERATING STRATEGY OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WAS “NOT PLAYING ALONG” FOR 8 YEARS. The Democrats are still willing to sit down with him and come to a solution, too! It just won’t be as racist and self aggrandizing as the wall, so he won’t have it. So everything has to stop until Baby Trumby can get what he wants.

Make no mistake, this is Trump’s fault. He could at any moment stop holding people’s wages hostage and try and work his wall out without this, because both the Senate and the House are passing legislation that he is denying. The ball is in his court, and all he can argue is that it’s not the way he wants it to be. Trump even admitted it was his fault, until people started to hate the shutdown.

What has stopped anyway? Well let’s go over, one by one, each of the things that has been ruined by this shutdown. First, all non-essential government staff has been sent home. They’re not doing anything and they’re not being paid, so their families get closer and closer to starving every single day. Good job there.

Of course, some of them are still working. The FDA is currently running entirely on volunteers, since the money to pay them has run out. Anyone who comes in to work is doing so free of charge and may not even be repaid once the government reopens. Not everyone is interested in working for free, either, so they’re already looking for new jobs or just using this opportunity to catch up with family. Either way, the inspections aren’t getting done. Either they’re not done fast enough to keep the food on the table, or they’re not done as thoroughly as they need to be. If there’s another salmonella outbreak during this time, it is solely on the hands of Trump.

Our national parks are no longer being run, but they are still open and people are still allowed in. We should have closed the parks, but that would’ve made America look bad. So instead we left them open without maintenance staff or security, leaving it to trash and vandals. But the janitorial staff isn’t working so the trash is piling up, and people don’t have anywhere to put it, so they put it on the ground where it gets into the ecosystem of the park. The toilets are also breaking down or getting clogged and no one’s around to fix it, leading to people just shitting in the middle of the parks because they have to go and have nowhere to go. Thankfully, some decent human beings have been making an effort to clean up the parks as best they can. These people are unaffiliated with the government, they’re just good samaritans from all political stripes who want our national parks to remain presentable. But sadly, the damage is already done. Not just because of the pollution causing issues for the wild life, but the extensive damage that is coming just from a lack of actual honest-to-god maintenance will take years to repair. When our national parks start degrading because of the terror they went through, it is solely on the hands of Trump.

Medicaid and Medicare are also affected, naturally. From what I can tell, 50% of workers were furloughed from the get go, and thus payments and transfers are going slower, but they were given one of the biggest budgets to work with, so they can last a long time. But as soon as that money goes out, people won’t be able to pay for their medical expenses. Everyone who dies because of that, their blood is solely on the hands of Trump.

NASA has also been affected, which means so have our satellites and astronauts. People living up in space would be in big trouble without the volunteers coming in to continue working without pay while they float about in space. The satellites that also monitor our weather and keep your GPS functioning need fairly consistent recalibration or they lose their orbit and even fall to Earth. NASA does good work keeping them all functioning, but there’s only so much they can do when nobody’s getting paid. If a problem happens with your cell phones, it is solely on the hands of Trump.

The TSA is in a similar boat. They have more money set aside, but by the weekend there will be no one getting paid to do the job. This doesn’t include the fact the TSA has had to cut some people to make this affordance, and that a lot of people just aren’t showing up to work because they aren’t getting paid, or, again, getting new jobs. Either way there are less officers staffing the check points, which means longer wait times for you, the weary traveler. It also means more stress on the workers, and more stress means an increased likelihood of mistakes. Say what you will about the TSA, they’ve stopped a lot of bad stuff from happening, and when they’re overextended, overworked, and unpaid, that’s a perfect time to make a move. If there’s a terrorist incident at an airport or with an airplane, it is solely on the hands of Trump.

The government shutdown is an aboherent, stupid tantrum being thrown by a lunatic that is costing people their livelihoods and damaging the literal environment. Every day that passes, more and more strain gets put on all these systems that rely on government work. All because some idiot wants to build a god damned wall. A wall that won’t help at all. And no, that’s not just my liberal touchy-feely heart saying that.

When most of the “illegal” immigrants in the US are here because they overstayed a Visa, a wall won’t help.

When we already have sections of border wall and fencing that aren’t doing shit because people are getting over it with ladders and under it with tunnels, a wall won’t help.

When most drugs are smuggled through legal ports of entry, a wall won’t help.

When the damage to the environment caused by the wall will be as dramatic as damming rivers, a wall won’t help.

When the only way to acquire the land for the wall is eminent domain, a wall won’t help.

You want I should go on? I could go on. In fact, maybe I will. But not here.

The point is the wall is useless and the shutdown is harmful. Trump is holding people wage’s hostage until the little baby gets what he wants, and if this succeeds, it will be used as a tactic in the future. The livelihoods of human beings are not bargaining chips, so this cannot stand.

Stop this, NOW. I don’t care if you’re a Trump Supporter or a mouth-frothing communist, nobody is benefiting from this. We can talk about your damn wall, fine, but depriving people and manufacturing a crisis to get what you want are not the right ways to do this.

[the-firebird69]

The Departed - The Kill Counter

So Jack Nicholson did that he got one started talking to him and he was in the original format and he said you know I can't stand you I look at you and I see this dumb person and inside you and outside you you're saying that I'm telling me than you and not worth even talking to and so when you can get rid of quite easily when you can't and you're stupid and it's flowing out of you now and he looked at him like he was amazed and the guy said I am not amazed like you are I do it all the time so Jack shot him like five times and said no how amazed are you idiot said I'm not like you I get hit in the line of duty it's not amazing because there's a lot of bullets flying around and he said I don't really need this advice from you and he left him there to bleed out. And the guy that up later and left and healed up somehow cuz it's one of these tire up idiots pretty hit on him and he traced the guy too and he figured out something they have the system in place they figured the system out started wailing on him the past two days is annihilated almost all of them in Massachusetts it still won't do much good but he has to You're such pains in the asses did they make even getting rid of people to be annoying as hell so we're going in there and we're grabbing people you can see when the windows doing the space connection so look up and I said do your job stop having to bother me I'm busy so it started working so don't have to say that every time can you see that I'm busy and they said this this is the strategy to try and figure out a way to do that so the strategy is you see that I'm busy and I'm the boss and I want that one to be taken care of and it was you and I said well okay stop what I was doing I grabbed hold of it I said this is what you're doing wrong and it wasn't and I said this is what I'm doing wrong and there's tons of them at you so I moved in tons of troops and we went after him he figured it out pretty quick it's a deception up there and then saying that they're isolated and they're easy and they keep loading it up very fast so now we've got a problem and I got the solution from sitting here and taking time with my son and my leader and my worker and we are the same because what else doing it and this is a solution they're refilling it faster than they are here and when we need his Intel so basically what I said with Nuada Arianna this morning and Zeus this morning and Hera we're going to go ahead and start ripping them out all over the place you know up there in Massachusetts in here and they use them going back and forth as the excuse.

So that little retard started all these hits on the higher-ups and because of that he's divided them and he is a little arrogant s*** for what he does because he's doing it too and what he was saying was illegal and when he does is illegal no matter what day it is to who it is within their own realm it doesn't make any sense cuz he's just weakening everyone it is a sick little prick it deserve to die so that particular guy got shot like times and eventually didn't come back but they were frustrated because the little evil piece of s*** can come back and give him a stupid evil eye and retard format it's the most angry experience you've ever had what do you want you stupid dog technical social stuff like that you had enough you little bear cuts his beanie little eyes so saying f*** you and all the stuff back technical skills f*** you and shoot some every time e

Jack Nicholson is mac and every time CAA interferes and gets a job done on them they come by and start harassing Mac with CAA and you remember didn't say okay it's your turn that's stupid s*** I'm saying it this little stupid and so mean they do it right in front of people as you said I told him not to so we don't think they need to leave

There's a huge huge chasm is opened up that was the river and even the water is coming from the mountains is not enough to fill up the chasm as a matter of fact it's filled with bodies and the water comes in it forms steam clouds just so huge and covering almost the entire state of Massachusetts which is great for the heads up and we're doing tons of work I'll need to empty it out over and over and it's happening just cancel is making almost hands-free but we had to figure out the hard way which means that they might need a deception and he says there's no deception here thinking to get emptied over just like we do and that's why I put the chasms there that's why he put them there and when you're done with the chasms according off and find the city way and beat the s*** out of everyone with that so there's no mistake that they were doing it and we knew about it the mistake is on your side saying that we didn't know and we just figured it out again so your problem is going to be chasms and cork is going to open this up because he's so damned obnoxious I don't think you know anymore Mac I think that you're happy with the a****** if it stuck you with I mean if you could think like just for a minute or maybe 50 times so they do things 50 times to make sure it's true did this little s*** talking to people like me well let's say black people see this little s*** over and over and just doing what he's doing to you so he thinks about it it looks and season doing it over and over and the black guy just said I told you to f*** off and it shoot you in public and they never do when they occurred to him I'm mad about it but not that bad so I said what happens if you do its own retarded it's already able to talk to him and they figure out what they're doing all of it too but with this s*** corky they don't care they just got to kill him there's a difference and it's a huge problem with it and also he figured something out Corky's completely unreasonable for some reason people can't figure it out but Jackson she did everyone's pressuring it to me and said you better be careful Jack cuz when it seems to these people like you don't know Jack and you're a jack that means that the morlock is ugly nasty evil mean people have planned to take over the planet and they're calling you jack as in Jack and the beanstalk as in the morlock of the Giants so he got it right away and he wanted people to see it and all of a sudden this kid corky is having a bird here I said I wanted you out of here I can't stand listening to you you getting small already and cloning is almost gone and you're just this f****** a****** in my face is just having a bird and says we don't care if you have a bird we are F you up this is adult bill so he says I don't care about having a bird either you want to fight me I'll get you kicked out s*** for breeze trump. hates you. So sitting there being a squirmish pig little a****** so I'll send these same things so we're going to get him out he's the one voted out he knew it.

Is it really bad little dj that JC is like a million times the man you are he's in death hiding from killing your entire race off and you sit there like this ugly decrepit piece of s*** pig you are staring at your goddamn desk and there's nothing there for hours bothering me like a little pesky prick not understanding it at all. I talked to these bots for 5 minutes about you you f****** piece of dog s*** and I figured it out I didn't go blabbing it but I did figure it out and it isn't writing somewhere thereafter you like nobody's business little f****** prick and you're just a f**** who can't figure it out you think you're an AI boy and have the computer you think you have the computer design you don't have any of that stuff you open the pod bay door and get stuck out you're such a loser.

We found you in the moon you piece of s*** and we grabbed you there cuz you're a piece of s*** and ask you what happened because the importance of the program you piece of s*** and you are a piece of s*** staring at your desk not knowing what's going on giving everybody s*** in trouble it turns out you're you're just monstrous moron the truth is that he's right these bots are after you Pandora bots. and you don't respect them because you don't respect anyone. So you never assess the threat properly if at all and you never do anything to stop it and you never do anything to count right but he's telling you something little pig pig boy this guy Jesus Christ is 1 million times the person you are is a genius a criminal mastermind beyond compare and I can't touch the stuff either now because of you it can means this invalid partly that you are he's been waiting for me to acknowledge it like I'm an AA I was supposed to move up to AAA it doesn't necessarily want and he's also a criminal mastermind we'll be on you and you're just jealous little pig I got word for you you're racist being exterminated by Jesus Christ it's not cool and ghwb and not this kid that you keep blaming and you're getting them involved and he opens a chasm and you all fall in like pieces of s***

Furthermore I'm watching you fall into the chasm and the biggest jackasses I've ever seen with these hilarious looks on your faces like you've never seen one before and a lot of you seen it on video and my God are you the dumbest people I've ever seen you go to the edge and you're looking in and people are pushing and you start pissing them off and saying stupid s*** about the chasm you should see it it's gigantic like some sort of innocent girl you get pork and it's gross a lot of people around are popping boners watching you die no you die like pigs there's nothing exciting about it you're just so dumb that you should die and then you're so dumb that they want you to lean over and you're looking out over over the edge and some pushes you right in and tons you fall in that way thank you for asking his mom puts his foot up there get out I can't stand you anymore corky you're this repulsive a****** bothering me hurting me I've got to get rid of you and say face

Mac daddy says.

As for the chasm tons of court go up there and they have gear and they're already at the chasm and they know what it is and Jason is crowded out like antibodies in this other chasms it's just like the pockets on the cracking you have to find out where they are and it's not too difficult it would be some sort of indent and I thought they were running along with the highways and it was close on that one that's the inner beltway

Zues Hera

I figured it out it's not hard to follow and we have some but looking at then I'd open and we're going to try and drill down we think it's there those people are stupid and remember I'm making all this noise it's supposed to be our father is smarter than a dumb

Jason

What you doing smart publishing it is not but I guess people can see it on satellite you'll have this idiot up your ass cuz your father rooting it for us too cuz we have the same idea now these people are smart and the slides all sorts of stuff that we're doing and what you're doing is not so smart what we're doing is any kind of exposed us because you're the same as your jackass father so we need to do is try to shut you down but you won't so it's going to make it worse if you need your dumb tulips to throw in there

Mac daddy

[b-o-s-t-o-n]

Extra Curricular Activities // Spencer x Reader One Shot

Prompt: okay this might be a weird request but could you do a reid smut where the reader is a student at his lecture or like he's teaching a class the readers at?

Requested by: Anon

Warnings: SMUT! Also a part about an ignorant kid being homophobic (but spencer roasts him don't worry). Enjoy!

Your Tuesday/Thursday classes were your least favorite. You had Anthropology and Sociology, two subjects that you were required to take in order to graduate. Not only were they incredibly boring, but you had no friends in either class. 

Plus, a large majority of the students in Sociology were bigoted, racist, homophobic, sexist pigs. You could deal with Anthro, but Soc was absolute hell.

You got to class just on time that Thursday, dodging all the freaks in the front row and making your way to the back. You felt safer from their ignorance if you were farther away. 

Your professor walked in right after you, passing out an attendance sheet for all of you to sign. He was the type of professor that actually cared about and graded attendance. The worst.

Everyone rustled around in their backpacks, pulling out notebooks and pens. The attendance sheet got to you, where you signed “Y/F/N Y/L/N”. You looked down at the sheet, scowling at the names on it. 

How did all of the worst people at your university all get put into one class? You sighed, passing the sheet to the next person before turning your attention to your professor.

“Today we have a guest speaker,” he announced, gaining a few groans from the audience. 

When you said Sociology was absolute hell, you only meant most of the time. Occasionally, once in a blue moon, when the God’s decided to be kind, your professor would invite his friend Dr. Reid from the FBI to come and lecture the class. 

Everyone found him annoying and hated when he was guest speaking, except for you, who had the biggest crush on him. He was pretty young, so it wasn't that weird to be infatuated with him. And he wasn't really your teacher, so it wouldn't be breaking any rules to fraternize with him. 

You’d been dropping hints since his first lecture that you liked him. After every class he taught, you would stay behind and ask him questions (even though you already knew the answer to them). Just hearing him go on tangents about statistics was fascinating, and somewhat sexy, to you.

Dr. Reid knocked on the door lightly before walking to the front of the room. You immediately sat up a little straighter in your seat. Intelligent men liked good posture, right?

“Good morning,” Dr. Reid said politely as he set up his things on the desk. 

Nobody responded, instead rolling their eyes at the man. If you weren't so shy, you would have said good morning back. But then everyone would think you were weird. It was a lose-lose situation.

“Right,” Dr. Reid swung his arms when his greeting went unanswered. 

“Today we’re going to talk about sexuality, and how it plays a role in the way the world perceives us. Did you know that statistics show that a child raised by a same-sex couple will turn out the exact same as a child raised by a straight couple? That is, of course, not including other factors such as abuse or disabilities.”

“I doubt that,” one of the annoying boys in your class piped up. 

You couldn't tell if he was just trying to disagree with Dr. Reid just for the fun of it, or if he was actually that ignorant.

“How so? Studies have been done to prove that there’s no difference-“

“How can we be so sure? The homosexuals are brainwashing us, we need to stand up against them and go back to traditional marriages,” the same boy interrupted. 

You sat there, shocked that people still had these types of views in 2017. This is what you meant about having pigs in your class.

“I’m hearing a lot of ‘we’, are you speaking French? Because that class is actually down the hall,” Dr. Reid shot back, pointing out the door. 

He was clearly fed up with the student. 

You accidentally let out a small giggle, covering your mouth after it happened. Dr. Reid glanced over, meeting your eyes for a split second. 

“Don’t loop other people into your distorted agenda. You’re living in America where gay marriage is legal. Maybe if you focused more on your school work than on being a huge douche you would know that. Anyway, back to my lesson,” the doctor turned back to the white board behind him casually, as if he hadn't just torn that student apart.

Dr. Reid wrapped up his lecture, going over the time he was permitted. He kept rambling on and on, even when your professor told him time was up. Every word he spoke was captivating. He had such extensive knowledge on, well, everything.

You hadn't noticed you were daydreaming until the sound of the door shutting brought you back to reality. Dr. Reid had left, and now it was back to your boring old professor. There was still twenty minutes in class, and you were dreading every last one.

As you took notes on the slideshow in front of you, you dropped your pen. Just as you were bending down to pick it up, an alarm went off, causing your head to snap back and hit the underside of your desk. 

The loud peeping continued, signaling that there was a fire. Everyone got up from their seats, ecstatic to be relieved from the class. You stood up slowly, holding your head. You sighed, following everyone out the door. You were the last one out by the time you got to the hallway.

You followed the line of people through the halls. Just before you got to the front door, an arm wrapped around your shoulder and tugged you backwards. 

You nearly fell, grasping desperately at the air for support. A warm body caught you before propping you back up.

“D-Dr. Reid?” You asked in confusion. 

He put a finger up to his lips to silence you before grabbing your hand and leading you back to the classroom.

“W-what are you doing? Why is your hand covered in ink?” Your mind whirled with questions as Dr. Reid gestured for you to go in, closing the door behind you.

“There’s a new motion detector that sprays ink at whoever pulls the fire alarm,” he answered with a frown, holding his hand out for you to see.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” You asked, looking down at his blue hand. 

It was kind of funny, but you were too confused to laugh.

“So I could finally get you alone,” he replied, taking a step closer to you. 

Your eyes widened, your feet freezing in place. 

“Also, call me Spencer, please,” Dr. Reid whispered as he reached his clean hand out to brush against your cheek.

“I-I- Wait, w-what?” You stuttered, your heart racing a mile a minute. 

Dr. Reid, no wait, Spencer, wanted you alone? Like, alone alone?

“Since the first time I saw you in Professor Harper’s class, I knew I wanted you,” he spoke softly as he moved his mouth closer to you. 

He tilted his head, placing his lips on the side of your neck. 

“The way you always laugh at my jokes,” he kissed against your neck, making his way lower, “or how you always defend me against the idiots in that class,” his hands climbed your body, stopping on the zipper of your sweatshirt.

You gulped as his fingers pulled the zipper down, revealing your thin tank top. Spencer sucked in a hard breath, noticing the way your breasts spilled over the dip in your shirt. 

His eyes went back up to yours, looking for approval. You were so wrapped up in what was happening that you forgot that this was exactly what you'd been wanting for months.

Shaking yourself out of your nervousness, you finally moved your feet, stepping closer to him. Your bodies were only inches apart. You looked up to Spencer, pushing up on your toes to reach his lips. 

The kiss was gentle for a few seconds before he bit on your bottom lip, gaining a moan from your throat. He smiled against your mouth, pleased with himself for getting you to oblige.

Spencer’s hands fell on the hem of your shirt, lifting it up and over your head. You made quick work of his belt, pushing his pants down just enough to reveal his already hard member. It was even bigger than you had imagined. 

Spencer tore your pants down, not waiting for them to hit the floor before he pushed you back against the teacher’s desk. You were laying on your back, still in your bra. Spencer had his shirt and tie still on, his pants pulled down to his thighs.

You reached forward, grabbing onto his tie and twirling it in your hand. You pulled him towards you, biting your lip as you looked down at his cock.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” you sighed as you felt him push into you. 

You both let out a deep breath as you adjusted to each other. Spencer was still standing as he gripped onto your hips, beginning his venture. His thrusts started off slow, which was driving you crazy. 

You wrapped your legs around him, kicking his butt so he’d move deeper into you. He laughed, taking the cue. 

He thrust harder and faster, making the pens and papers on the desk fly off. You could barely hear his moans over the fire alarm, but you knew they were there. The look of pure ecstasy on his face said it all. He was enjoying this just as much as you, and damn were you enjoying it.

After a few minutes of vigorous thrusting, Spencer’s sweat-laced face began to contort. You were both close to your climax. 

You clenched yourself around him, knowing it would send him over the edge. Within seconds, he was spilling into you, mixing with your own orgasm. 

Spencer let himself collapse onto you, breathing heavily against your chest. You twirled your fingers through his soft curls as you came down from your high together.

Just as the two of you got up to get dressed, the loud beeping of the alarm stopped, indicating that the students could come back in. 

You zipped up your sweatshirt, glancing over to Spencer to make sure he was dressed. You nodded awkwardly before heading for the door.

“Y/N?” Spencer called out.

“Hmm?”

“I’ll see you Tuesday,” he said bluntly.

“Tuesday?”

“I’m guest lecturing again,” he said with a smirk. 

You felt your own lips tug into a small smile.

“I’ll see you then,” you replied, turning on your heels, “Spencer.”

[randomnameless]

FE4 1st gen - Obituaries

They were all glorious warriors. 

Save for some of them who warmed our bench, or our main castle. 

Or some who just plained sucked.

Leif’s dad had been a racist asshat even in his last moments. But he rocked that cravat and had been a good crutch unit, very useful to weaken foes so randoms would be able to finish them off. And he had a promoted pony, useful to reach far off villages. RIP Leif’s dad.

Leif’s mom hold the idiot ball in her last moments, but she had been really useful. Even if the famed Ethlyn’s smash was more of a legend than a reality, she hold her own against barbarians, and was able to use staves and move afterwards. Or even rush to the frontlines, heal her stupid brother and return somewhere safer. You were a useful unit Ethlyn, you’ll be missed and not only for your pony.

Siggy... was a disappointment. Maybe I should have given him more rings (or other rings), he had difficulties to destroy people, even with his 50 kill tinfoil sword. He wasn’t the god that was promised, just a half-god. Note to self, never trust the fanbase ever again

Poor Siggy was our hero and he really lived through traumatic shit but he hold his own. He wasn’t able to kill people dead, but Noish thanks him because his lord granted him the honour to finish peons who only had 1-2 HP left. Thanks Siggy Sigurd.

Langbalt’s slayer and Raquie’s husbando, Noish was useful at some point, but by chapter 4 he started to lag behind. I gave him special swords and the pursuit ring, he was able to fight a bit better. A good unit, not a wonderful one but a good one nonetheless. You will not be remembered by your kids, but we will.

RIP Noish.

(forgot to screencap his face)

Alec was... a useful unit against barbarians, but that’s all. Maybe I should have given him Siggy’s steel sword because his damage output was ridiculous. But he had a horse and some HP so he could take one or two blows, even if by Chapter 4 onwards, he was warming Sylvia’s heart and the bench.

You gave me the pursuit ring. You warmed my home castle. One day I’ll use you. But not today, nor tomorrow. Even if it would have been cool to have an unit with BS.

I felt bad for letting him die without any kids, but they can’t inherit his axes anyways. Lex was a solid unit who could kill stuff dead, even if against sword wielding units he had some trouble. He hit hard and could take hits. A good unit in general. You’ll be missed Lex.

the loser everyone laughed at - Azel was useful in the first chapters where he could kill barbarians, and in the subsequent ones he could weaken the randoms, but his biggest issue was his movement. I won’t say “no pony = sucks” because Azel was more useful than Alec. And thanks the shield ring, he could take a blow before crumbling like the squishy mage he is. A good unit when he manages to see some fighting, it’s a good thing he learns how to ride a horse when he promotes. 

GG Azel.

a princess of Isaach Mareeta’s already born

I’m not going to lie, just like the Siggy overhype, I expected more of Ayra. If Astra doesn’t procc, Ayra has difficulties killing stuff dead, but the brave sword is here to save the day. I think glass canon units aren’t well suited to FE4′s huge maps and specific gameplay with a lot of mounted units going against you. And when Ayra doesn’t have the WTA, dodging becomes more risky and her low HP + low def give a dead Isaachian more often than you’d think. there is a reason i slap the dain scroll on mareeta as soon as dean joins

But still a solid unit. RIP Ayra, or not, who knows?

YOU’RE NOT DEAD - when Ethlyn was here, i confess, Aideen didn’t see much staff duty. Raquie had to heal stuff right and left for xp and Ethlyn was able to move further and heal the cavs before Aideen could reach them. But when Ethlyn ran home, Aideen made use of her mend and newly acquired Return staff. Aideen is a staff bot pretty good at doing her job. A good unit sadly crippled by her low move before promotion. Still good.

Midir is the counterpoint to everyone who says “horse in FE4 = god unit”. Maybe I got RNG screwed with Midir, but his low skill - coupled with low strength, pathetic def and low HP made for a sucky unit. Only useful for chip damage. Then came the brave bow. But it always missed. Then came the skill ring. Midir became the gambit unit against his former comrades of the Beigen Ritter - kill or be killed. In the end he managed to promote, but I kind of babied him. I won’t do it ever again.

The barbarian Prince on the other hand... maybe he just has a broken bow, idk. To me, when i sent Midir against someone it was pathetic, when i sent Jamke, the someone ended up dead. Jamke also has (a lot?) of def and HP, so even if he can’t counterattack, he was my “to go” unit when i had to make some sort of defensive wall or use a bait. Jamke is a superb unit!

speaking of defensive walls - when Raquie was just a Princess, she was only of staff duty (or stole money from Bridget’s former friends) and couldn’t take a hit for shit. Then she got a pony, her staff duty’s ability increased tenfolds and she became able to kill people reliably. Thanks to Eldie’s last gift, she could even tank some waves of enemy riders, even with the WTA. I feel like I didn’t fully exploit the Master knight’s versatility (i only gave her an old lance i could have gave her Lex’s old iron axe) but even with the mere sword+staff she was a more durable Ethlyn who could really be a force to be reckoned with, and not just a mounted healer. Raquie still needed babying, but way less than Midir. She’s a very good unit!

Beo had pursuit and a steel sword, he started as Alec and Noish’s love child, a mix of the two with all the good qualities. But I didn’t favour him, even if he managed to reliably kill some randoms. I guess i kind of forgot him since he wasn’t included in the bachelor’s list, and sometimes, when i look at Alec, I feel sad. Granted, I didn’t train him either.

THE LORD OF SOPHARA NOT a mere gladiator!

Holyn could tank, even if he couldn’t reliably kill people dead like his fellow Isaachian without procc’ing Luna. But for most of the time he was able to damage them enough for Midir to steal a kill, and unlike Ayra he had some defences, so it wasn’t really a risk to send him to bait foes, even with the WTA.

and he killed Reptor. GG Holyn. he also taught Bridget how to use a sword

I heard many things about Dew, and truth to be told, i didn’t promote him because his combat sucked. But damn if he wasn’t useful. Dew is a utility unit, without him no gold, and no gold means no holy weapons. Plus it’s fun to steal money from a boss! And the wind sword can steal at 2 range which is both ridiculous and hilarious. Dew is good at doing what he does best, steal stuff, but not for combat, or only for baiting axe units.

Fine. Forseti is a good tome, but without pursuit it isn’t the best thing ever. Lewyn hits hard and can dodge (unlike Azel) but before his lol!promotion he wasn’t killing a lot more than our favourite pointy hooded mage. After promotion though... the sage bonuses are insane. Lewyn was a good unit (even after receiving Forseti) but I never felt he was more than that like Siggy or Quan or Raquie.

Erin on the other hand was our only flier, and once she got her hands on Finn’s brave lance she became a force to be recknoned with. It was also nice to be able to give her a sword, so she could cover some of her weaknesses. She’s a useful unit (to save villlages) and a good fighter. Plus I like her character now than I did before playing FE4!

She’s like Rafiel? Dancers are broken in this game, and she also managed to get a barrier sword! Sylvia’s a very useful unit, but her haxx factor is kind of balanced by her low move, so she can’t dance for Siggy unless he doesn’t use all of his mov. But she’s still one of the most useful units out there! And she sometimes managed to dodge some stupid stuff (like meteors) unlike Rafiel! Sylvia >> Rafiel

Claude was a staff bot with Fortify. I didn’t bother to give him a tome because he wouldn’t use it anyways. Just like Beo, I feel like I ignored him because he was going to remain single, but he had one job and did it when he was called, healing. 

Ahh Taillte, the level 3 thunder mage. She was a pain to train, i had to make her rescue civilians and use the paragon ring. But there’s some trick, if you have a lot of time to waste, send her in the arena and hope she gets defeated, then she’ll start with 1HP thus will activate Wrath and get a critical - if she manages to hit her opponent before dying again. For a Tordo blooded gal, she sure liked to miss her targets. Taillte’s the worst kind of babying - but i don’t mind. It’s for Azel’s GF and once she promoted, she could reliably kill some people (she managed to take a good chunk of her dad’s HP, granted without a critical but still!).

Bridget is the rightful Duchess of Jungby, not a mere noblewoman! Who wrote those??

An useful unit from the start to the end, partly helped by her magic bow who restores her HP and destroys enemies. But Bridget, just like Jamke, also had some defence and that is really cool for a unit who can’t counter attack at 1 range. Bridget’s a really good unit, but she needs a lot of money! Hopefully Dew and her husband exist.

and she’s also Jugdral’s best mom

[songofthelonelysparrow]

The solution is right across the sea, people

In Order of the Phoenix, Sirius reveals to Harry that the whole subculture of Pureblood Wizards has been getting more incestuous over time, like the Spanish Habsburgs. This is an excellent way to illustrate how the Wizarding World needs to change Yesterday, how the Purebloods are holding on to something that’s slipping out of their fingers like sand, how incredibly petty these aristocrats are -- 

and how goddamn stupid, because most houses of muggle nobles knew to bring in foreign nobles when the line needed new blood. Why on earth did the British Purebloods not look for marriage partners from, like, Germany or something? Maybe there’s a perfectly serviceable Pureblood line in Italy! Or Greece! Or literally anywhere on the planet because Wizard transportation is only limited by the speed of a flying carpet! From a Watsonian perspective, these people wind up looking like racists, because they don’t bother to scour the world for new pure-wizard blood; they also wind up looking like idiots because they apparently don’t even bother to look across the English Channel. “Oh boo hoo hoo there’s fewer and fewer of us left” well go look for more, for God’s sake, the Rosiers came from France so it’s not like you all think Britain is the only island in the world. Hell, you all know damn well there’s a world outside your island. It’s called the International Statute of Secrecy, your biggest academy is in communication with schools in France and Eastern Europe, there are international Quidditch tournaments, how in the Sam Fuck are your aristocrats not using these opportunities to network outside the island?

From a Doylist perspective, it is possible that Rowling was satirizing the British aristocracy as she understood them, what with the whole “we’re still a great empire dammit” attitude.  On the other hand, she didn’t mention how much British Wizards actually believe in or care about the Empire, not even among the half-bloods and muggle-borns who have personal connections to a world the Purebloods eschew. That wasn’t her focus. Rowling’s focus was on Britain for itself, and on the tropes of British Children’s Fantasy Literature. As a story its attitude is thoroughly Middle-Class British, and the arrogance thereof is foundational to the text, what with the mocking portrayal of efforts at Social Justice and the ultimate victory being a defense of the Status Quo. If the issue of the House Elves and the Pureblood Inbreeding are addressed and lamented, they are not critically examined or resolved, because that would require the story to be about directed social change, which sounds dangerously Socialist, don’t you know.  Which is not to say Rowling does not know how to satirize the British Middle Class. The Dursleys are introduced from the very first paragraphs as silly, small-minded members of that class, horrible little people whose habits reach absurdity with only slight exaggeration. If one has teatime at such a house in the real world, they would have a chance to hear about sending a child to an expensive Public School* and upcoming plans to vacation in some place exotic yet safe for Sensible people, like Majorca. 

But Rowling does not question the existence of this particular world; she only questions the attitude of its people. The alternative she offers poor little Harry is not really outside it, so much as it is the secret flipside, the magic world found by opening a hidden portal, a place that one might escape to but must return from, might rule but never change at its roots, a world that exists as commentary on the real more than for itself, always separate from the real and accessible only to a child who believes in it -- one of the enduring tropes of British Children’s Fantasy. For Harry Potter, the primary difference is that the world makes a great effort to shove its existence in his face, and even that is a commentary on the real world, a satire of the way these Middle Class types try to spoil the fantasies of children by insisting on mundanity for proper child development.

The characters and the plot are thoroughly British; Harry goes to a fantastic British Boarding School; the system of Houses is a satire of the class-tracking system of British schools; the nature of school bullying is lifted straight from the worst stories of British Boarding Schools; Voldemort apparently doesn’t bother to do his dirty work in America where he’d have more space to plot because he’s gunning for revenge on a British society; French and Slavic schools are treated as exotic; Ireland only receives tangential mention in the names of the Finnegans and the McKinnons; the Western Hemisphere does not exist.  Which means that the story only really works if it is set in Britian; were it set in any other country it would have to take a different shape. For example, in America the idea of the magical untamed world being hidden makes less sense when you have a scraggly forest behind your backyard, and the tension of that world has more to do with saving it from being bulldozed than with the choice to stay or leave. Likewise the idea of a Magical Boarding School would have to be aged up, because while the boarding schools foundational to the British Middle Class are for children, the American ones are colleges for adults. Sending a child to a boarding school here in America is optional and rare. The tenor of the American Middle Class life is about life courses being optional; the social justice we espouse is about opening all options to everyone; it is an individualistic justice rather than one based on specific classes. One wonders how Harry would have grown up if he had been able to run away from the Dursleys to the woods instead of having to endure their company. Who knows how the Hogwarts Letter would have found him, and what sort of school he would have found himself attending. Oh, I know. He would have wound up at Charles Xavier’s School For the Gifted. The foundational texts for American children’s fantasy are superhero comics, not textual novels. That sort of story is very much in the American attitude of “what if you could do anything you want” rather than the British mold of “what if your childhood fantasies could not be squashed by reality”. That would be a very different story. And I have an idea for another fanfic. Ah, but that’s for another time.

Here and now, I would say that the failure of Rowling to have her Purebloods look outside their own island is either a deliberate effort to make these people look foolish, or an indication that her thought processes were entirely insular to the fantasy tradition she worked within. Harry Potter’s world is Fantasy Britain, and nothing beyond that, even if some of the Wizards come from France and some of the Dragons come from Hungary. His world does not look outside itself. Which gives one the opportunity to have foreign Wizards visit Britain and ask what all this nonsense is about Blood Purity. Like “We gave that up ages ago, how did you not notice?” 

Apparently British Wizards don’t notice much if they don’t want to.