#you guys get to avoid me going on for 5 hours about the elite trio. my boyfriend? not so pardoned

[the-toybox-general]

there's such a part of me that would looovee to make more comics . specifically about my insane shy guys toy box storyline and whatever is going on with General Guy in my silly little au but mine motivation... ! it's fine . I will find a way to share my insanity with the world... whether the number of people actually interested is small or large... shy guy enjoyers rise up

speaking of which anyone seeing bandits in the ttyd remake. how are we feeling. they're so cool [ spoiler free message ]

[ill-skillsgard]

Bred For Blood - Part 17 - The White Flag

Title: Bred For Blood

Warning: 18+ - sex/mature language & themes/gun violence/substance abuse etc. *mentions of blood/injuries/death/weapons/coma/unconsciousness in this part*

Characters: AU Axel Cluney, AU Ivar Lothbrok, AU Valter x OC

Description:  A bright, young survivor meets an acid-gun slinging headhunter with a knack for melting faces and connections to a prodigal Utopia embedded in the heart of a deadly forest. Violence and passion incite a battle of fealty while betrayal nips at Zed’s heels.

Note: This one’s for Team Cluney. I really hope you guys enjoy reading! This part was very exciting for me to write for many reasons. Please reblog/like/comment if you like my work and want to give me a virtual pat on the head. I would really appreciate it, please and thank you!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

The doctor stomped over the rocky terrain, muttering and snickering to himself as the sun cast blistering rays on their backs. The heat never bothered him, only tanned his skin to a deep brown shine. It was the walking that made his knees burn. He'd long since shed his white coat to cover the bulk of the man draped over Rudie's wiry-haired hump, trudging along at leisure. The unconscious hunter he'd found needed all the protection available from the vicious star reaching its highest point in the sky.

The doctor halted his gangly steed every hour to force a measure of water down the burnt man's ululating throat. He often succeeded, and the hunter swallowed without issue, but sometimes, the water came back up as white foam, trickling down the sides of his face and down his neck. The onset of heatstroke turned his skin apple-red, and the doctor sprayed him down with water and gusts of hot air produced by a tattered paper fan he carried with him to ward off flies. Rudie attracted the pests who made a chariot out of the man on the camel's back. They fled their caravan whenever the doctor stopped to check on his patient and settled back in for the ride after he threw the stained coat back over the hunter's burnt shoulders. This went on until nightfall when the dry land showed signs of mercy, and water and shale gave way to the soil. 

Rudie let out a guttural complaint when they reached a crop of tall, spindly trees. The diamond-shaped leaves provided shade. The doctor tethered the bleating animal, pressing his finger to his lips for a silence that would not come. Upon unsaddling the groaning man, Rudie threw his hump and sent Axel slumping to the ground, his deadweight at odds with a lengthy fall. His head cracked on a root, and a dusting of earth dried his palette, clinging to everything pink in his mouth. The camel clopped away from the whining mass who'd hitched a ride on his back, and in his wobbling dance, mashed the smallest of Axel's fingers into the soil. 

"Rudie! You bumbling old idiot! You gaffer! Shoo!"

The beast side-stepped, snorting and sputtering, indifferent to the further damage done to the man. He shook his proud head, throwing ropes of spit that webbed his lashes. The doctor punished the creature by re-wrapping Axel's hand after a stern disinfecting, withholding the proverbial oats until the animal wandered away to dine on low-hanging leaves. Rudie chuffed whenever the doctor came to retrieve supplies from the riding satchel.

"That wasn't very nice, Rude. This man is our patient! We don't trample the patients. You've no idea the level of harm you caused! He'll be lucky if we don't have to amputate, and you don't have thumbs, so you're even more useless!"

Rudie wrapped his leathery lips around a clutch of grass and ripped it free, chewing and turning away from his master and the unconscious fellow. The camel minded his business and relieved himself on a nearby rock, huffing and chomping any strand of green he sniffed. 

Axel vomited throughout the night. The doctor gave up his rest to make sure the man lying comatic didn't swallow his tongue. Then came the shivering and sickly shade of purple flaking his lips. Flaps of the doctor's paper fan spread droplets over his inflamed skin, another courtesy at the behest of his sore arm. Still, Axel moaned and scratched at the earth beneath him in bloody heat and delirium. 

"If you can hang on until tomorrow, son, perhaps we'll find some proper shade and build a hut. Hm? How's that sound? Shade and water. For now, just rest, and don't die on me." 

When the sun came up, the doctor cleaned Axel using the rest of the clean water from his reserve and stitched the open flesh splitting his eyebrow in two.

"That'll leave a nasty scar. Not that you need any more ruggedness in your act. You're just a lost soldier, sonny. But maybe one day you'll make a brilliant assistant. Better than Rudie, I hope. He hasn't even apologized for breaking your finger. Lookit him over there, shitting all over the camp, the scoundrel. But I'm the one with the oats; therefore, I make the rules!"

"M-muh... muuuh."

"Ah, in the worst of times, we still call our mothers."

"Mmph. Muh—"

"I wonder what's on the other side of those trees," the doctor said, shading his eyes with his hand, peering to the West. "You look well-travelled, sonny. Any ideas? Hate to run into any of those yawners, not knowing when your last shot was. But I suppose I shouldn't expect any valuable input from a man who can't look me in the eye."

After patching him up, the man hauled Axel to a stand and hoisted him onto the camel's back using a tree for leverage and a series of ropes to fasten him down. Once secured to Rudie's hump, the doctor took a few minutes to catch his breath. "Dunno how many more times I can get you up there, son. You must learn how to walk soon. Or I'll build you a sleigh. But that might take some time."

Far off above the foggy treeline, a sheet of ashy cloud broke to reveal bright blue sky. The doctor liked the look of cerulean and the absence of sand, so the begrimed trio lumbering through thick bush where dew still clung to the undersides of the leaves. The doctor went ahead, collecting globules before they evaporated. Rudie answered the doctor's constant rhetoric with wild groans that muffled Axel's whimpering, and they led their procession over uncertain ground.

"I reckon there's nothing but more trees over that ridge, Mr. Soldier. Maybe some mountains we can find a crevice to hide out in. Just until you get your strength back. The only thing I worry about is those damn yawners. Rudie and I will be safe, but you... I'll scout ahead to make sure it's clear. It'll rack up daylight, but you'll thank me when you're not a bubbling pile of soldier juice. Don't worry, sonny. They didn't immunize me for no reason! I count myself among the elites, but that doesn't mean I fancy myself better than you or more deserving of life. We're all in this, you see. Brights and Uns... We're still together, despite it all. They may have tried to kill you, but look at you now! Alive and well. Isn't that a slap in the face? They send you out to war and hope you never come back. They don't even have the decency to immunize you. What a world we live in."

Rudie let out a gaseous bellow. The doctor whipped around and pointed his walking stick at the quadruped. "Don't interrupt, you vile sow. Nobody needs a camel's opinion."

"Ma... Ma."

"We'll look for your mama after we get you looking presentable. Hang on tight, we're going uphill!"

As the ridge climbed, the trees grew denser. The doctor had to guide his camel through a maze of mossy trunks. Thin, whip-like branches prodded at Axel's tender skin. What leafy arms brushed Rudie's head bent back and snapped against the hunter's raw shoulders. Axel didn't notice, lost in the chimeric slurry of recent injuries. They maneuvered over stones and wove between crumbling stumps, avoiding the deadfalls. The steepled ground sloped upward like a great brown ramp of torn earth. Through the thickness, they muttered, minding their footwork, up and up, stopping here and there so the doctor could take in a few wheezing breaths. The camel—finally wary of obstacles—blew wind and groaned, hesitant on the incline. 

"Boy, there had better be some more forgiving land over this ledge. I don't think it's workable to keep climbing. We might have to turn back, depending on what I see at the top. Fingers crossed for a lake. A bath would do me good," said the doctor, fanning his underarms and thighs with the paper fan.

"What do you say, Mr. Soldier? Should we keep going? See if there's anything worthwhile over that lip?"

"Muh."

"That's what I thought. You may not be the finest soldier I've ever met, but you're persistent, and that's key. Come on, fellas. Let's pray for water, and up we go! Can't be worse than the blasted desert."

~*~

Ivar's mood reflected his recent successes in bed. When Trinity brought his meal, he thanked her, even asking about her morning and if she was sleeping all right and eating properly. Trinity laughed nervously, sensing a test, and answered with a practiced air of casualty. Did he know of the plan they'd executed to get Zed in to see him? Was his toothy smile a front? Despite her unease, she humoured the leader and left when he dug into his stew and fresh bread. Trinity also noted Zed's absence, and with the King in lively spirits, assumed everything had gone well with the plan.

Ivar inhaled his late breakfast and dressed for comfort to walk the courtyard. With a bounce in his step, he traversed the throat of the Chrysalis, emerging on the other side to a nest bereft of activity. The morning stalls had cleared out, their occupants and merchants returned to their hovels. Even the young ones—usually at play in the courtyard by now—were nowhere in sight.

Ivar passed by the last remaining group gathered around a low podium, whispering over their berry reductions and leafy salads. Like a cluster of threatened barnacles, each mouth clamped as Ivar strode past. He held his head forward, flexing his palette to clear his airways. None of them made a sound until he was far enough away. Their chattering was undiscernible as distant chirping birds. He stopped at the incline of a foothill, spinning to catch them staring at the back of his head. They snatched their eyes away and made like they weren't gawking.

That wasn't the only peculiar thing that happened to Ivar that morning. Since his prolonged absence, the people seemed to have grown used to keeping to themselves. There was no merriment in the air, only sterile drafts pouring in from the filtration system. Ivar shivered from the brisk air, stopping to consider paying Zed a visit at her apartment. A morbid urge pulled him along, and he continued his walk. Ivar waited until somebody approached him—whether it a man or child—to greet him with customary courtesy. Still, nobody shuffled forward to ask him about his day or to offer him a portion of their recent gardening. 

Ivar reached the frosted glass doors to the lab and stood still, thick hands hovering next to his narrow hips. Frozen in place, Ivar bit the tip of his tongue. Something told him Zed was inside the lab, and if he wished to see her, he had to set foot beyond the parameters of his expertise. The lab always put him in a bitter mood. It was the only place in the village that wasn't for him. Though he could visit any corner of Kinderfeld he wanted, he'd never felt welcome in the laboratory. The floors and surfaces' sterility made him cower from touching anything, and the lifeless stares he received from the few staff only reminded him of the responsibilities he'd shunned in favour of hedonism. None of them ever begrudged him his appetites, but he was confident they whispered of his ineptitude behind his back.

He wondered if Zed ever talked about him or if she'd ever vocalized displeasures regarding his leadership. Her request from the day before echoed in the corners of his mind, festering and swelling each hour they were apart. There was a bitter drop of ulterior motive in Zed's visit, and he let it slide down the back of his throat when she asked him to open the gate. But they'd made love, and that was more than Ivar expected. In his heart of hearts, he'd feared Zed would demand more; to let her fly the nest in search of Axel, but she'd taken his refusal graciously and kissed him all the same. Still, a nagging suspicion remained. Something was circulating in the air, whipping about the courts and apartments, squeezing under doorways and filling the citizens with doubts.

A stranger on his own land, Ivar lowered his eyes to the ground and turned away from the lab before he recognized any more scrutinizing glances. He powered along, ignoring the guards, their dutiful nods, cutting over the knolls as fast as his muscular thighs could take him without breaking into a run. The loneliness chased him back to his palace, and even its mouth gaped in question. 

Ivar noticed Sheraya nearby, spreading dark red petals, a gained cigar of smoking sage held between her fingers. He craved nicotine the moment the fumes peppered his nostrils. Tears coursed down her round cheeks, though she made no sobs, no whimpers. There was only gentle muttering under her breath and more tears. The king stood waiting for her to acknowledge him and then realized she had no intention of breaking her prayer mantra. 

Shunned, Ivar turned away, retreating to his house of lush fabric and solitude where he should never have left.

~*~

Vee insisted Zed stay put while he fetched them dinner. Their setting was the top floor of the greenhouse where he'd played cards and got drunk with his brother some nights. Nobody ever bothered them up there. Zed sat in waiting, enjoying the greenery, the twisting vines and canary yellow zucchini blooms. She stretched an arm out to pluck a flower and nibble its petals. Her stomach gurgled for heavier fare, so she ate another. Vee didn't keep her waiting long after, showing up with a basket of seed-crusted bread and a bowl of sliced potatoes slathered in basil paste and cooked to a crisp. For dessert, he brought dried fruit and freshly harvested cashews. 

Moonlight vaulted through the trees, defusing over the glass and casting milky shadows on the greenhouse floor. The air was moist with freshly irrigated soil. Baked in the dimness, Zed couldn't take her eyes off the man sitting in front of her. He'd brought with him the game from their youth, but neither of them suggested opening the box. They smiled as they ate, breathing in the deep aromas and savouring their food together. And in the balmy atmosphere decked in silver light, Zed swore Vee was his brother's twin. Her heart shuddered in remembrance. It was what brought them together; the shared sense of guilt and the strengthening suspicion they'd both lost someone, both failed and scorned by the people who'd invested too much faith in their competence. Zed felt at peace beside him.

The scientist was still a welcome member of the village, hence his aptitude for finding rarer delicacies like wine and ripe figs. They split the skins and scooped out the sweet innards, indulging their tongues on the fruit as if it was the richest of luxuries.

"You know what I would absolutely love to eat again?" Zed asked, sucking seeds from between her teeth.

"Popsicles," Vee answered.

"Close, but no. Chocolate ice cream. I'd kill for some chocolate ice cream right now. "

Vee shook his head. "No way. Strawberry all the way."

"A hot fudge sundae with peanuts and a big maraschino cherry."

"Peanut butter sauce."

"Oh, my God. Don't say that," Zed groaned.

"It's so good. I can't remember the last time I had ice cream. Remember when you could walk a couple blocks in the Summer and buy an ice cream cone?"

Zed smiled, but the thought pricked her memory. "The last time I got ice cream was with my Dad. I got the biggest chocolate sundae, with peanut butter cups and chocolate sprinkles. He told me there was a full day-and-a-half's worth of calories in it, but I didn't care. It was after a soccer game. I didn't like soccer, but if I went to practice every week and scored at least one goal, he'd take me out for ice cream. Two goals meant I got ice cream and five dollars."

Zed sighed, continuing, "I hate thinking about the last times. Like at one point, you did something for the very last time. The last trip for ice cream. The last time you told someone you loved them."

"If you hate thinking about last times, then why are you doing it right now?" Vee asked, eyes blank as discs.

She grimaced, reaching out to touch the toe of her shoe to his, then softening her face. "I can't help it sometimes. Don't tell me you've never thought about how it used to be. You don't have to look at everything so logically."

"I don't," Vee said. "I just rather not think about those times."

"I'm sorry. Is it?—Never mind."

"My fiancé and my kid? Yes. It's always them."

Zed set her dish aside and scooted beside Vee, pressing her back against the wooden barrier of the melon patch, mirroring his position, her mouth just as dead grim as his.

"You seem to handle it well enough. But I understand. I think everyone lost something important to them," Zed offered. 

Vee sighed, turning his face to the floor, cutting off the glistening whites of his eyes from view. "Found out she was pregnant the night before I left to work for the army."

"The army?"

"Yes. I had a knack for inventing. You've seen the ammunition I designed for Axel. And it takes a special gun to fire something that lethal without complication. They wanted that kind of technology and offered me a nauseating amount of money to oversee mass production. The only smart thing I ever did was refuse to sell myself. It cost me my family, but I can say with certainty Axel is the only person besides me who's fired one of them. Could you imagine what the world would be like if those had gotten into the wrong hands?"

Zed bottled talk of acid and bloodshed with a shiver and a firm hand on Vee's wrist. "Enough of that. Please. Tell me about her—your fiancé. Let's just... Remember them fondly. I don't want to think about the bullshit out there."

"You'd rather stay inside these bubbles, ignoring a second societal collapse in the making?"

"Yes. I'd rather enjoy my time here with you, listening to nicer stories. This is all that's left. I don't want to think about where we went wrong or right. Let's just talk about what made us happy."

Vee nudged her shoulder. "Why can't we talk about what makes us happy now?"

She giggled and rested her temple on his shoulder. Vee curled his wrist around her knee, and their fingers intertwined. He leaned his head on hers like they had in his apartment before Lora caught them, this time with his heart pumping in double-time. 

"What makes you happy now?" Zed asked him.

"Not talking about dead relatives."

"Okay, true. Let's not. So... What are you content with?"

"You," Vee blurted.

Zed's chest tightened. Vee let go of her hand and angled his torso toward her. "I'm sorry. It's difficult for me not to... Stick to you. If I'm honest... You look like her, Lea. I really hate how much you remind me of her. And I don't want to use you to fill the void. It's wrong, but I can't help it. Everywhere I look, I'm reminded of how much I lost. And you're so understanding. You don't have all these expectations."

"Vee—"

"I don't want you to think I'm coming onto you. You don't owe me anything. All I'm saying is, I'd be happy to stick together."

"We will! I want to stick with you, too."

Vee combed his blond hair back, pinching his brows together. "Lea... I want you to tell me no, right now."

"No? What do you mean?" Zed asked.

"Tell me there's no chance in Hell we'll ever get together. If I have it planted in my mind, then that's that. But if you don't, and we continue hanging out like this, getting closer... I might... Think there's a way."

"Valter..."

"Axe knew what he was doing when he brought you here...when he introduced us. Yes, he wanted protection for you, but he also wanted you and me to hit it off. I could tell. He'd never admit it, but I know him. You're perfect for me, but I've seen how others treat you, and I refuse to do the same. I don't want to perform tricks to impress you into sleeping with me like Ivar, but I don't want to stifle my feelings like... Axel. So you need to shut me down, right now. If there's a firm barrier, my mind will reroute, avoiding any possibility—"

"Stop," Zed said. "Please, just stop."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought any of that up."

"No, it's good to speak your mind. I appreciate the honesty, even if it took months to hear."

"It would have been inappropriate if I brought it up. When we had research and pressing issues, it was easy to ignore how familiar you seemed. Now I'm at a stalemate, and you're still here, and Axel's gone. I can't pretend like I don't want to spend my time with you. But I'll stay off your heels, I swear. Just friends."

"I'm not telling you no," Zed murmured. "Maybe at some point, I wanted to fall in love, but now I know that's foolish. Love can't exist in this world anymore. Not without great suffering, and I don't want to suffer anymore. Truthfully, I don't even want to get close to you, Valter, because I'm afraid someone or something will take it away."

"Nothing will take me away."

Zed shook her head, knocking a tear loose. "Don't say that. You can't make that promise. I don't want any more broken promises."

The scientist nodded while a cloud of vapour seethed from the sprinkler heads above the raised garden beds, thickening the air and clinging to their skin. A long silence pervaded, and Zed held her breath until Vee shuffled away to retrieve Wayfare of Austea. He dropped the box before her feet and grinned widely.

"Come on then, let's play. No more doom and gloom for a while."

~*~

Ivar spent the same evening pacing in his room. He went to the private alcove he assigned to the woman on his mind. Zed was fickle, and he didn't want to dash his chances with her by smothering, but something in his stomach wouldn't settle. He'd even dismissed his guard, encouraging another visit, yet she hadn't shown. Ivar buckled under the suspicion that she was angry with him, and her absence was his punishment.

Never the man to deny himself, he made for the Hives. If Zed was alone, surely she'd welcome his company. She'd said it herself: she wasn't one to sleep with just anyone, and he was far from just anyone. He was King, and this was his realm.

Despite his self-reassurance, Ivar carried doubts that manifested on his face. He passed a few citizens, drawing eyes with his acidic mug and ignored them all the way to Zed's door. 

She didn't answer the door after he knocked. He reasoned she might be asleep, though it was shy of nine o'clock—early for most but not an unusual time to sleep. Before he turned away, he twisted the handle and cracked the door open an inch, letting out the dark.

"Lea? Are you in here?"

Stagnant silence answered, and he shut the door before anyone saw him. Ivar went to the door on the left and found that one locked. He grimaced, turned from the apartments and left for the lab. 

On his way through the courtyard, Ivar saw Nalani and Trinity walking arm-in-arm, engaged in private discussion. Their frantic doe-eyes widened to see him.

"Have you seen Lea?" Ivar asked.

"She should be home, I think," said Trinity.

Nalani shrugged her bare shoulders, still clutching her friend's hand. "I thought she'd be with you, Ivar."

He sneered at the women. "No curtsy? No formality? Has everyone forgotten who's in charge around here?"

The two pressed their arms together, quietly apologizing and stepping aside for Ivar. He stalked toward the lab, holding his breath while throwing open the doors and turning the corner to find the rooms gutted of materials. The refrigerator hummed, and the overhead light flickered, barren and reeking of sterilization.

Ivar examined the dustless surfaces, curious but not enough to go digging through desk drawers. He went down the hall and stopped in front of Vee's door, clearing his airways again to sharpen his ears. There were no voices. Ivar knocked and went unanswered.

He turned in time to see the first door in the hall open and Lora's head poking out. She wore the same displeasure on her face, adjusting her reading glasses while her body caught up with her neck.

"If you're looking for Vee, he's hiding away with that woman everyone is up in arms about," Lora said.

"Hiding away? With Lea?"

"Yeah, whatever her name is. They haven't been here since I caught them getting up close and personal in Vee's room."

Ivar's stomach flipped, his head buzzed. Lora took great pleasure in the snagging of his mouth. She had been fuming by herself, finding specks of dust to brush away to keep her mind off her superior who'd run away with the girl she'd grown to distrust. Lora was a woman of insecurity, easily threatened by others but quick to bite back when given a chance. After she'd found Vee shoulder-to-shoulder with Zed in his apartment, Lora waited for any opportunity to drive a wedge between her beloved head scientist and the newcomer from the desert. Now was the perfect opportunity to damage Zed. 

"What do you mean?" Ivar asked.

"You know what I mean, sir. They were practically on top of each other."

Ivar had no reason to discount Lora's claim. She'd proven herself a trusted and valuable member of the village long ago and never caused a ripple of dispute. The folding of her face and iron-clad seriousness was all the King needed to believe what she told him.

"Where are they?"

"I assume—if they're smart—hiding in one of the greenhouses. I wouldn't be surprised if you caught them naked in the strawberry bushes."

Ivar scoffed and rushed away. Lora watched until he disappeared, then went back inside the incubation room and put on a pair of gloves. There was an electric cooler housing blood samples, one from each member of the village. Lora selected a sample from the bottom tray and shuffled to the sink, turning on the tap while reading the label. Popping the top off the vial, she upended the sample and drained the blood away.

Ivar did better than storming the greenhouses in search of Zed. There were slinkier things on his mind. If he caught her in the act with the scientist, only then would he justify blowing up. For now, he snuck through the grounds with his focus tuned and his breath steady. 

 "What's next for me? I've tried to convince him to let someone go, but he refuses. Do we just exist here now, with no way to move forward? Forever trapped in this moon unit."

"He'll come to his senses," Vee said with meagre hopefulness. "Ivar's full of himself, but he's not stupid."

"Well, let's count on those senses coming soon," Zed snorted.

"Speaking of Ivar... Do you think he's wondering where you are? You did just... You know. If that happened to me, I'd be thinking about it for a while. Wondering after you. Well, not you—'cause we never... Heh. Ah, shit. You get my meaning, right?"

"Mr. Cluney, are you flustered? I don't think I've ever heard you fumble your words before."

"I don't mean to be coarse."

"Don't worry. We'll get through this. Ivar has to see reason… We need to tell him about the ones who died."

"I'll tell him. It should be me," Vee said, stacking the playing cards back in the plastic tray lining of the frayed box. 

Zed helped by gathering pieces, separating them into their individual quadrants next to the cards. She set her eyes dead on the floor after they finished packing the game away, sighing in contemplation.

"Who will go?"

Vee frowned. They shared a strained minute of silence interrupted by another burst of spray in the air. Their shirts stuck to their backs, legs aching from crossing and uncrossing. Zed handed the box to Vee.

"Maybe it should be me," she said.

"Absolutely not. You can't leave. It's too dangerous out there, and you don't have to put your life on the line. There's only two people who should go. Me or Ivar."

"You're too important to lose, Vee. That's what Axel wants. I know if he had a dying wish for me, it would be to look out for you. For us to do everything we can to survive."

"Within capability. I'm not a killer, Zed. I'm not like Axel."

Zed smirked, the merciless flames dancing in her belly again, the same ones she'd felt when she screamed at Lora. She'd harboured the noxious warmth before. It was a friend to her.

"But I am...I'm a killer."

Vee set his jaw firmly, scoffing, unable to disagree. "Listen, Rambo. Even armed to the teeth, you're still not going out there alone."

"And neither are you if you go."

"You think Ivar will leave his precious cocoon? I don't think so. He'll probably send one of his guys out to never come back."

Zed shook her head, tired of the speculation. "This is ridiculous. Anyone should be able to come and go as they please. It's tyranny to tell them they can't leave if they want to. I thought this was a place of free will? What happened to the promised land?"

"Same thing that always happens when one person is left in charge."

"On that, we agree."

They left the greenhouse with much to think about, hugged goodbye in the courtyard and separated—Zed toward the Hives and Vee following the path to his room. 

 The next morning Zed awoke to guards butting on all the doors, yelling for everyone to get to the courtyard. The racket came after a long night of tossing and turning. Her eyes were tight with unrest, her head throbbing, but she put on jeans and a plain white t-shirt with a single breast pocket, similar to the ones Ivar wore.

The citizens filed from the Hives, murmuring and looking around worriedly. Guards stood by to direct the traffic to the medical tent-turned-backdrop. The booth topped the steepest hill in the plaza, out of use for the past few weeks. They pooled around the base of the hill in collective confusion, looking up as Ivar took advantage of the blank vinyl behind him.

Ivar cast a proud smile over the congregation. He summoned everyone from their hiding spots without having to lift a finger and brought them into the light spilling through the checkered dome on high. He waited until he spotted Zed and Vee coming in from their separate tubes, relaxing a bare inch when they didn't arrive together. They cut their ways to the front of the throng and noticed each other right away. Ivar saw the troubled looks they exchanged and sneered.

"Is this everyone?" Ivar called to the head of his guard.

An armed man standing off to the East with a few others gave Ivar a thumbs up. The King nodded, then proceeded, his expression toward his people fresh with tenacity.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Kinderfeld. I've asked you all here to bring you some news. It has taken me a long time to come to this decision, and for my delay, I apologize. I don't take this lightly... We've lost members of our family, and my heart is broken. I've spent too long trying to think of a way to bring trade back to our village. We need supplies, yes, and medics. I understand these things because I've survived before. All of us must exist as a unit, each one pledged to the survival of our crew."

The people looked on with widening eyes. Hearts that once sang for Ivar's monologues found their tune. All of them but Azalea and the other Cluney brother. Ivar burned them with ocular venom, hoisting his smile into a morbid curve. Zed let shoulders and legs swallow her back into the crowd, but not deep enough to block her view of the head scientist glaring back at the leader.

"I forbid travel for your protection. There are dangers outside of our walls. People whose only purpose is to hunt and kill. I don't have to remind you of the horrors we've suffered or the love we've cultivated here in our home. You were all there. Some of you longer than others. They built these walls to protect us—the ones who choose love instead of hate."

Ivar clasped his hands behind his back and took splinted steps back and forth on his makeshift stage. He fashioned himself contemplative, but his eyes shone with intent.

"With that being said... We cannot wait for luck to come to us. This planet is evolving each day. Nature is reclaiming the land, and it will swallow us in its majesty. We will be lost if we don't take action."

"What do we do?" Someone called from the center of the gathering. The fiery-haired father who'd earned his keep cooking and training his son stood out as the shouter. Ivar didn't smile at him so much as he cast his grace upon the redheaded man clutching the freckled boy by the shoulders.

"I'm glad you asked, sir... We are a unity. A tribe of people who want to live in harmony, am I wrong?"

Several shook their heads, others muttered together, a dull drone of tired voices.

"Then we should vote. Does anyone care to nominate themselves or another?"

The apprehension pivoted and picked up with a few gasps. Heads swivelled in search of somebody bold enough to champion themselves for exploration. Vee continued glaring at Ivar. The king returned the glower.

"I'll go!" 

Zed gasped after the words left Vee's mouth. He stepped forth, unbreaking under Ivar's challenging eyes.

"So we have one volunteer. Our beloved head of research and weapons development. A very noble gesture! Does anyone else wish to nominate themselves?" Ivar asked. He opened his arms, beseeching a reply with postured hope.

"Nobody should go alone!" Zed shouted.

"Yeah, we need a team!"

Ivar motioned for the crowd to quiet down. Once they simmered, looking on with palpable anticipation, he inhaled deeply for the next addressing.

"We're running low on men to keep our hold. The brunt of the firepower needs to remain here in case of attack," Ivar reasoned.

"I'll go alone. I don't care. We can't stand around any longer!" Vee said, his chest puffed, much to the surprise of the people who knew him.

Ivar barked a few dry laughs, disguising his pleasure to everyone but Zed and the man who'd volunteered to brave the elements. "I suppose if nobody has any objections...Vee will be the one to go. As badly as it tears me to say so... You are the perfect man for the job. Brother, I wish you all the luck."

Zed broke away from the gather and hammered her legs up the incline toward Vee and Ivar, pumping her fists until she reached them.

"Ivar, you can't do this! We can't send people out alone. At least let me go with him!"

"No!" Ivar and Vee shouted at once.

"What are you going to do to stop me? After your decree about peace and harmony, what will you do to keep me from leaving Kinderfeld?"

Ivar adopted her heated expression. "Azalea, stay out of this."

"No. I won't! Not after what happened to Axel. We have to assemble a team! Don't tell me to stay out when neither of you has seen the carnage!"

"Of course you want to go, Lea. All you care about is finding Axel. You used me and hoped I wouldn't figure out you're trying to leave. You never cared about me. You try to act like you're so innocent and respectful, but you're just like everyone else."

"Because I don't want people to die? Ivar, I understand you're trying to protect everyone, but sending men out for slaughter won't help our cause. Please," Zed whimpered. "Set aside our personal issues and try to see the bigger picture."

Ivar cooled suddenly. He patronized Zed with a frantic nod and a forced grin. "All right, Azalea. Consider our personal issues permanently set aside. You got your way. One of the guards will go with Vee. Now, go. I have heard your voice."

The guards gathered around Ivar and Vee, their conversation clipped and sheltered from the citizens by a lineup of broad-shouldered men carrying weapons of varying levels of brutality. Zed stepped away, cowering under the firm looks she received from Ivar's men. Though she bowed out of the political bubble, she stayed close by, watching Vee's sour face muttering umbrage at the King. The other citizens broke off into smaller clusters, chosen families and cliques gathering to discuss the ruling. 

A hand slid over Zed's shoulder, and she whirled to find Sheraya bowing her head. "You've done what you can."

"No, I haven't!" Zed nipped. "I should go with him. I'm not afraid of the outside anymore."

"You don't have to be the hero, Azalea. You must survive."

"I have survived. I'm good at it."

"You're needed here. The young ones have to learn from the women."

"Sheraya... I can't let Vee go. I can't."

The elder took hold of Zed's clammy palm, pressing the lines with her thumb. Zed buckled as tears sprung from the corners of her eyes. "He's all I have, Sheraya."

"The only one you ever truly have is yourself. Think about that before you take your heart's path and not your brain's. Look hard into the future."

"I'm trying," Zed sobbed.

"Azalea, I mean it. Your future is important."

Sheraya left her with a warm peck on the cheek and a growing sense of bewilderment. Zed looked around at the people, the hills and the courtyard beyond, the flatland where they set up their booths and entertained each other. Envisioning life beyond the safety of their walls overcame Zed with grief. She'd won, but the conditions were too heavy for her to bear. Now her last friend prepared for expulsion. 

Vee took his charge seriously. Zed saw his raw determination as they hashed out a plan. Several times, she stopped herself from storming their parley, anchoring herself to the ground with locked knees and her arms folded over her breasts.

For a long time, the conversation went on, and most of the villagers went about their morning routines, gathering to cook and gossip of the turbulent state of politics. Zed stayed close enough to catch Vee when they finally broke for action, but the men showed no signs of agreement. Ivar had to hush some more uproarious guards, leashing them down with an assuring hand on the shoulder to stop them from infecting the others with their rancour.

Zed spotted a guard sprinting from the warehouse limits. The desperate look on his face alerted her, and she stepped out of sight around the corner of the medical tent, still close enough to listen.

The man approached, panting and calling for Ivar's attention. Zed snuck a peek and saw the group retire from their conference, distracted by their comrade.

"Jackson, what's the matter?"

"It's Zee. It's him! One of the guys found some doctor dragging him through the forest."

"A doctor?" Ivar repeated. "How do you know?"

"He says so. Says his name is Simpson... Or was it Samson?"

"Samson!" Zed yelled, running from her cover toward the reporting guard. "Did you say the doctor's name is Samson?"

"Yeah, Samson," the man huffed, stunned by the woman's sudden appearance.

"Bring him in! Right now. Go get them and bring him to me!" Zed demanded.

"Now, wait a minute," Ivar said. "How do we know we can trust this guy?"

"If it's the Samson I know, we can trust him. Ivar, please. I'll vouch for him if it's who I think it is."

"Who gives a shit, he's got my brother!"

Zed vaulted after Vee, tailed by the guards and Ivar. The march heralded interest from the citizens, and soon, onlookers roved toward the warehouse. Vee turned to the guard who'd brought the news and slapped him on the shoulder. "Go tell them to let Axel and the doctor inside."

"Sir," the guard nodded, jogging ahead to the entrance where two other men stood, baffled and conflicted without orders.

"Let them in!" Zed cried out.

They waited with bursting lungs. It seemed an hour crawled by before a shadowed heap of arms appeared at the mouth of the entrance. Flanked by two guards holding him upright, they carried Axel inside, his head of matted brown hair dangling lifelessly between his shoulders, limp tattooed arms slung around their necks. Zed ran to him and propped his chin up in her hand, heart palpitating, head rushing.

"Axel! Oh my God. You're alive!"

"Now, now, miss. Don't waste too much breath speaking to him. He can't understand you."

Zed turned toward the familiar voice. Samson hobbled in next to a guard who'd taken on his load—a heavy satchel, a duffel bag and two tweed suitcases. Filth and the briny stink of body odour and piss wafted through the tunnel with them. Most recoiled from the stench.

"Doctor Samson, do you remember me? From the bloodbank."

"Ah, yes, of course, I remember you, Zed! You used to zip around on your motorbike, looking for scrap metal and something to eat."

"Yes, yes! I didn't think I'd see you again."

"The chances of us meeting were rather slim, I agree, and I have to say it's lovely to find you in this magnificent bubble here. You can see this splendid little valley from the North. We were hoping for water, but this is much better. Um, speaking of water, where might I find some? Mr. Soldier and I are rather parched. Oh, and I left my camel parked outside. Do you validate?" Samson said with a jolt of wild laughter.

Zed didn't mean to be rude, but turning away from Samson was far too easy when Axel hung before her like a damp towel on a clothesline. She wanted to hold him, to join in as support to get him a surface to lie upon, but she resisted. 

Ivar butt in and directed the escort to take Axel to the laboratory, then turned to Zed, scorning the tears in her eyes.

"Looks like you got your wish, Lea. Axel's back. Your life can go back to normal," Ivar said as the rest of them rushed away with the hunter and the doctor in tow.

It was only them, facing off on the hill. Zed quelled the wildfire in her belly with a painful swallow. A debate with Ivar served no purpose, so she turned from him, solemn and absolute.

"You've given me a lot, Ivar. I thank you for that. Hopefully soon, you and I will see eye to eye again, and we can live peacefully, as you said."

She angled down the hill, hurrying toward the laboratory. 

Nobody stopped her from entering the stand-in hospital room. Vee had been worrying over his brother, grimacing at his crudely wrapped hand, violet dark and lame at his side. They'd already stripped him naked and laid a blanket over his lower extremities, so the bruises spraying his ribs screamed in the whiteness. His skin was bright red and glossy, shoulders scabbed with burns. With all his muscles slackened, Axel spilled over the bed, deadweight and loose-jawed.

"What happened?" Zed asked, turning to the doctor propped up in a gurney, sipping from a jug of water.

"I can't say for sure," said Samson. "He was comatose when I found him baking in the desert. That's one lucky man, right there. Lucky he crawled his sorry ass to where he did. Otherwise, I might have missed him by a mile."

"What should we do, Samson? How do I make him come out of it?" 

"Oh, we can never be sure. It could be a few days, weeks... Months. My suggestion is to regulate his body temperature, treat his wounds and burns, and hope for the best."

Zed turned back to the unconscious man. She spotted the clumps of dirt in his hair, the scrapes on his elbows and mud-caked fingernails and her panic increased.

"Somebody bring me washcloths, soap and water right now!"

"I'd be mighty careful cleaning those burns, Zed. He's got some good blisters forming. And mind his hand."

"I will, I will," Zed nodded. "Just tell me what to do."

"Can I bother someone for a snack?" Asked Samson.

The guards who'd toted them into the lab stuck around until no longer needed. Zed refused help from anyone except Vee after Trinity brought them a bucket of warmed water, and Lora provided antiseptic. They started cleaning Axel gently, beginning with the grime under his nails. Samson ate from a bowl of mixed fruits, humming in delight from the nectar sliding down his throat. 

Zed moved Axel's injured arm with great care and washed away the smears of dirt marring his tattoos, applying disinfectant to the cuts. Vee worked on the opposite side of the bed, combing out the chunks in his hair. Once in awhile, Zed met Vee's eyes, and he'd nod or give her a forced grin.

Axel's unconsciousness only registered later in the night after they'd cleaned him and swapped a few words of astonishment. Zed stayed nearby, wishing his eyes open, but every hopeful breath gave way to disappointment. Lost in the blankness of his mind, Axel floated.

Even Lora surrendered to the sobering tension, making herself available to Vee only. Zed didn't concern herself with the woman. Her mind was awash with relief and worry for the friend who'd found his miraculous way back home. Nothing else mattered but the battered man lying in slumber on the hospital bed.

Samson fell asleep, and Vee left after long, touching Zed's shoulder before excusing himself. He promised to come back as soon as he'd had some rest. Zed nodded, squeezing his hand for a lingering moment, then releasing him. Sleep had no chance of overtaking her, so she stayed next to Axel, balling herself up in one of the office chairs, listening to his wheezing and sticking her fingers under his scruffy jaw to check his pulse every time he went silent.

When it was only her, Axel, and Samson sleeping in the room, she leaned over the bed and brushed her palm over Axel's scaly forehead. She avoided his singed nose, the curving laceration above his left eye and the peeling skin on the crests of his cheeks, touching his jaw and stroking his hair a few times.

"Don't worry, everything's okay now. You're back where you're safe."

The woman slumped into the chair, propping her heavy head on her elbow. She watched his chest rise and fall for a few minutes, plates of seared skin stretching tight over his ribcage, and fought off the urge to doze alongside him.

"Mmph-uh... Muh."

Zed's eyes snapped open. "Axel? Did you speak?"

"Hmm," he thrummed.

"Can you hear me, Axel? It's me, Zed. Azalea. Do you recognize my voice?"

Axel's throat went quiet, the enfeebled notes fading back to obscurity. Zed tried to get him mumbling again, but the hunter remained still.

"It's okay. I promise, I'll make you better. You're home now, and I'm not going anywhere until you’re better, okay, Axel? Don’t worry. You’re at home with me."

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[crackimagines]

Reunion at Dawn (evil!Byleth AU)

AU Masterlist Here!

Withering Flower - Chapter 5

5 years have passed since the Battle at Garreg Mach, and the war has been drawn to a stalemate. Constant attacks by the Knights of Nemesis have halted any progress the Empire and Church may have made.

After maintaining a facade of neutrality, Claude finds out the truth of what Byleth has been planning throughout all this time, and is now racing against the clock to get the truth out before it is too late for everyone.

-----

The Elites of the Fell Star Journal - “Breach”

Throughout the five years, the Elites of the Fell Star was sent all across Fodlan to gather resources for a super weapon Byleth wanted to make.

We had built it under Garreg Mach so that way only our engineers and mages could tamper it, and at all times it was under heavy security.

Once it was finally finished, it was Byleth's favorite toy.

He shipped it out into some god-forsaken desert in the North and had a good chunk of us guarding it.

The fortress holding it was a spectacle to behold.

It was also the most boring assignment in the continent for a Knight of Nemesis.

Tedious inspection drills, endless hours of guarding impregnable magic fields.

Things got so bad that when a breach of security was reported, we were almost happy to be chasing down someone again.

If only we had known what an embarrassing shitstorm we were about to wade into, and how the situation escalated all the way to Derdriu.

We probably would have razed the entire base to the ground...

-----

CURRENT STATE OF FODLAN:

3 Years Later after Chapter 4

Imperial Year 1185

When Byleth, now referred to as Nemesis, announced his presence to the world in Arianrhod, he had declared war on the Adrestian Empire and the Church of Seiros. And by association, the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus.

For such a small force to deal with a 3-Front war, everyone thought he would be crushed in a matter of a few months, or even weeks.

The Church of Seiros was the first to attack, sending a relatively strong army to Garreg Mach and to secure the Monastery.

However, the forces were completely obliterated in an ambush right outside of the monastery, with magic and beasts no one had ever seen before.

This showed that Nemesis would not go down easily, if at all.

Before anyone could make the next move, Nemesis launched a full-scale counter attack with the Knights of Nemesis on all fronts.

While had not conquered territory to expand, he razed each city to the ground while taking all the supplies and any prisoners back to Garreg Mach.

Several attempts were made to infiltrate Garreg Mach, but each time was a critical failure.

His forces could warp in and out of the battlefield, inflicting maximum damage while taking minimal losses, no one had a good counter to his hit and run tactics.

Edelgard, previously having Nemesis as her professor, knew how dangerous he was and tried to avoid direct combat with his forces as much as possible.

The only trump card she has against him, is the Death Knight, which no forces have been able to take down thus far.

The war is at a stalemate.

Claude, having stayed neutral the entire war, decides to investigate what Byleth has been up to.

Having been careful in setting his spy networks, has been keeping a close eye on him.

Not only that, an anonymous source saying that they were a Knight of Nemesis and wanted to defect gave Claude vital information.

Large amounts of soldiers and resources were poured to moving an item from Garreg Mach to the deserts of Sreng. They could not put what exactly it was into the letter, but time was of the essence to reveal this project.

They could not hope to stop it Sreng, but once they found out what this item was, it would be pulled back to Garreg Mach and be hopefully destroyed there.

In order to find out what it was, he sends a small force to run a covert operation.

Hilda, Lysithea, and Ignatz were trusted to keep a low profile and check it out.

Deserts of Southern Sreng Unknown Facility...

Ignatz turned the corner in the hallway and saw two guards chatting as they continued in the direction opposite of him.

(Guard 1) “Damn, the test did that much destruction?”

(Guard 2) “Yeah, it was a good thing that we were told to stand back as far as we did. The debris of the buildings went everywhere.”

(Guard 1) “Thank the goddess that it was uninhabited.”

When they turned a corner to the right, they disappeared. It looked like they were at an intersection now.

(Ignatz) “What are they talking about?”

(Lysithea) “We’ll figure it out soon enough, now let’s get moving!”

He nodded, and the trio quietly ran to the intersection.

Hilda checked the right side while Ignatz checked the left.

(Hilda) “Jeez, how slowly can these guards walk, they’re not even out of the hall yet!”

(Lysithea) “Be quiet!”

(Ignatz) “Coast is clear over here, let’s get a move on!”

They walked down the hall trying their best not to make any noise as they slipped by the guards. They kept walking down the corridor, looking behind and front of them.

(Hilda) “The room the double agent told us to meet them in is getting close, right?”

(Ignatz) “If the map is accurate it should be...here!”

Ignatz readied his bow before Lysithea quickly opened the door, drawing out an arrow and looking into the room.

(Ignatz) “...Clear.”

Hilda nodded and shut the door behind them, holding her axe tightly.

(Lysithea) “Where is the agent? Did they fake us out?”

(Ignatz) “Must be running late. If that’s the case they should knock on the do-”

KNOCK KNOCK!

Everyone hid behind cover as Ignatz put his back against the wall near the door.

If the situation came up where they didn’t see each in the room, they had to knock back in a certain pattern.

Ignatz slowly put his fist against the door.

KNOCK! KNOCK...KNOCK KNOCK!

The door slowly opened and the figure revealed themselves.

“Whew, thank goodness you guys are-What in the-?!”

(Everyone) “Leonie?!”

(Leonie) “H-Hey, keep it down you idiots!”

(Lysithea) “So the rumors were true! What in the world are you doing with Byleth?!”

(Leonie) “Listen, there’s a time and place for that, but that isn’t now! I promise I can explain everything, but for now put these on!”

Leonie down disguises for everyone. They were uniforms with bits of armor, and a fully sealed helmet.

Once everyone put on their helmets, they turned to Leonie.

(Hilda) “It’s good to see you’re okay but, it’s been five years! Why did you suddenly decide to contact us?”

(Leonie) “City after city, civilians dying in the droves and being ordered to kill every one of them? That’s...That’s something I can’t in good conscience let slide, even if it was at some point for a good cause. But that doesn’t matter, I need to tell you about what you came for! It’s...It’s a super weapon the likes of which we’ve never seen before. It’s called the Javelin of Liberation.

(Ignatz) “That name doesn’t sound good. What does it do?”

(Leonie) “That’s all I can say. The last thing I want to do is risk what little time I have. Here, take these papers!”

Leonie shoved documents into his hands.

(Leonie) “Bring it to Claude, and he’ll know what to do. The fate of Fodlan...No, this world lies in your guys hands! You have to bring it to him! Do you guys have an extraction point?”

(Lysithea) “Yeah, we have a boat that can-”

(Leonie) “Tch, that’s not fast enough! We’re already preparing to ship out the Javelin back to Garreg Mach!”

(Hilda) “What?! We were too late?!”

(Leonie) “No, just in time as a matter of fact. I’m supposed to be transporting this to a portal that’ll take us to Gronder Field in 2 weeks!”

(Ignatz) “Why Gronder?”

(Leonie) “We’ve had scouts examining the area from where we wiped out Those Who Slither, and it’s been completely unguarded since Edelgard thinks that place can’t be used anymore. We’ve been using it as a shortcut to avoid Alliance and Kingdom forces to get to Sreng. I can get you guys through that portal and from there, you can hijack a carriage to get back to Derdriu!”

(Lysithea) “Sounds like a plan to me, but what about you?”

(Leonie) “I...I gave up trying to justify myself a long time ago. I’m ready to pay the price for what I’ve done with my life. And that means doing the right thing.”

(Hilda) “Come with us! We can’t just-”

(Leonie) “When you get out, take a left and keep going straight! If they ask what you’re doing, say you’re redeploying back to Garreg Mach as an assignment by me! Now go!”

Leonie immediately left the room, leaving the three alone.

(Hilda) “Leonie...”

(Ignatz) “...Come on, we need to move. We need Claude to get this.”

As Leonie walked down the hallway, she looked down and sighed loudly.

(Leonie) Claude, I hope I can do right by you now...

(Shamir) “You’re sweating a lot there, Leonie.”

(Leonie) “S-SHAMIR?!”

She turned around and saw Shamir leaning against the wall.

(Shamir) “Those are some guards I haven’t seen before. In fact one of them looks like a kid, didn’t even know we made uniforms that small.”

(Leonie) “S-Shamir I-”

Shamir put her hand on Leonie’s shoulder and leaned into her ear.

(Shamir) “Next time, check your surroundings completely. You’re lucky it was me around.”

Leonie’s eyes went wide and turned to Shamir who was already walking off.

(Leonie) “Wait...Does that mean you-”

Shamir signaled a thumbs up behind her as she kept walking.

(Leonie) “...Thank you, Shamir.”

Derdriu, War Room

2 days later...

12 days before Javelin of Liberation ships back to Garreg Mach.

13th of the Ethereal Moon (12/13/1185)

(Claude) “First of all, thank you guys for risking your necks. We never would have gotten such criticla information without you.”

(Hilda) “If anything we should be thanking Leonie. I...I wish she could’ve come with us.”

(Ignatz) “It doesn’t feel good leaving a classmate behind like that.”

(Lysithea) “Did you guys forget what she said already? She’s doing this for us, let’s not waste it.”

(Claude) “Lysithea’s right. All we can do now is look forward and try to make things better. Now, the papers?”

Ignatz nodded and handed Claude the documents he kept safe.

As Claude read the papers, his eyes slowly became wider.

(Claude) “Goddess, this is what Teach has been doing?!”

(Lysithea) “Yeah, we read the reports on the way here...I didn’t think anyone had that much magical power in this world. The technology-”

(Hilda) “Is freaking scary! Do you think he really is going to do that?”

(Ignatz) “With how he’s been completely destroying the Church, Empire and Kingdom? I have no doubt in my mind...”

(Claude) “Hilda, get the fastest couriers we have that can slip by Garreg Mach and bring them to me! Ignatz, I want you to order to have our troopers stand by for combat. Teach is going to know we’re up to something. Lysithea get the best mages we have to prevent any kind of magical attack that the Knights of Nemesis might have!”

Everyone nodded and ran out the door to do what they were told, there wasn’t a moment longer to lose.

He took out three papers and a quill with a bottle of ink.

(Claude) “We have to get everyone together to stop this. If we don’t...Doesn’t matter who wins this war, we’re all ending up dead...”

10 days later...

2 days before Javelin of Liberation ships back to Garreg Mach.

25th of the Ethereal Moon (12/25/1185)

It was the extremely early in the morning when everyone started arriving in their escorts.

Dimitri was the first to arrive, alongside the class of the Blue Lions. As they were nearing the gate, a blue haired woman greeted them.

(Dimitri) “Marianne!”

(Marianne) “Hello your majesty. It’s good to see you again.”

(Dimitri) “And to you as well. Though, I wish this was under better circumstances.”

(Marianne) “Claude is waiting for you in the War Room. If you would please follow.”

Dimitri nodded and followed, the rest of the former Blue Lions close behind them.

The next to arrive was Edelgard, closely tagged behind a Royal Guard and the Black Eagles Strike Force.

This time it was Claude who greeted them.

(Claude) “Edelgard.”

(Edelgard) “Claude.”

There was an awkward silence before Claude cleared his throat.

(Claude) “If you’d follow me, Dimitri will be there. All we’re missing is Rhea.”

(Edelgard) “It must be a very desperate situation if you are expecting me and her to get along during this meeting.”

She expected Claude to crack a joke, but his expression just grew darker.

(Claude) “If you don’t, then I might as well just kill us all myself to save Teach the trouble...”

(Edelgard) “I’ll...be on my best behavior then, Claude.”

(Claude) “Appreciated.”

Rhea was the last to arrive, coming in with Seteth, Flayn, and Catherine as her escorts. The Knights of Seiros stood outside, across from the Kingdom and Empire’s royal guards.

Dimitri brought them in and guided them to the room that they would all be sitting at.

(Dimitri) “Lady Rhea.”

(Rhea) “Hello, Dimitri...I see that woman is already here.”

(Dimitri) “Y-Yes-”

(Seteth) “I can only guess how you must be feeling, your worship, but I humbly ask that we keep our minds open. It must be an urgency of the upmost importance if Claude were to invite those who are warring to come together like this.”

(Flayn) “And the professor isn’t here...?”

(Rhea) “Because that child would be dead, Flayn. I am barely holding my hatred in as it is...”

(Catherine) “Lady Rhea, please. Let us hear what they have to say first.”

(Rhea) “Hmph...”

When Rhea and Dimitri entered the War Room, Claude was sitting at the head while the classes were standing near their respective leaders.

Rhea sat down at the other end of the table, facing Claude, while Dimitri sat across from Edelgard.

(Claude) “Alright...onto business, we all understand the general idea of why we’re here, yes?”

(Dimitri) “Yes.”

(Edelgard) “...Indeed.”

(Rhea) “Hm.”

(Claude) “Teac-...No, Nemesis is planning something huge, something that dwarfs this war entirely.”

(Rhea) “Oh please, what could those band of heretics even do-”

(Edelgard) “Those ‘heretics’ if you haven’t noticed have been decimating all of our forces across the entire continent! And if I recall correctly, your forces were so confident marching up to Garreg Mach, only to end up with no survivors!-”

(Rhea) “You dare?!-”

SLAM!

Everyone turned to Dimitri who had completely ripped off a part of the table when he slammed his fist into it.

Though he didn’t mean to do that, it certainly got their attention. Whatever works he supposed.

(Dimitri) “We have no time for your grudges right now! I have seen first hand three years ago of what he is capable of, and the fact Claude brings us all here despite those grudges, and tells us that he is planning something? I’d take this meeting as a priority over your ideals!”

Rhea and Edelgard sat back down into their chairs and turned back to Claude.

(Claude) “Thanks. Now, how much do you guys know about Nemesis thus far?”

(Edelgard) “He has been evading our main forces and have been striking at strategic points along the borders of Faerghus and the Alliance. I have only fought his men, none of his Elites or himself as of yet.

(Dimitri) “Dedue and I encountered him in Arianrhod where I was to be executed. Back then, I only cared about getting my revenge, believing Edelgard was behind the Tragedy of Duscur but...Nemesis had opened my eyes to the facts. Besides that, our forces have had minimal contact with him. The Death Knight protected Mercedes and Annette from their assassins, but that’s about it as direct contact goes. I do not think they are interested in Faerghus besides key points associated with the Church.”

(Rhea) “He has been slaughtering my followers with no hesitation, and have devastated most of our bases...”

(Claude) “Then let me tell you what exactly he’s been up to. I’ve sent some of my men to Sreng after someone from within contacted me...-”

...

Scouts looked at the soldiers standing outside and motioned for the others to head back.

It was confirmed. Claude has called all the leaders to Derdriu.

Byleth and his forces were closing in on Derdriu as they marched forward.

Though it took a lot of resources to do so, they teleported directly outside to bypass any of the border patrols, and everyone wore black to blend in with the darkness of night.

(Byleth) “So it was true...You did allow a breach of security to happen, Leonie.”

He turned around to Leonie, who was kneeling on the ground with hands tied behind her back.

Riddhe and Alois were standing next to her, holding their weapons firmly.

(Byleth) “You disappoint me but at the same time...I cannot fault you for going behind my back.”

(Leonie) “...”

(Byleth) “You always were a kind person underneath.”

(Leonie) “And I thought you were too?! Those years we spent slaughtering civilians, how can you still look any of us in the eye?! You and Jeralt spent so much time protecting the people, and you’ve become no more than a glorified bandit leader!”

The soldiers looked to her in shock of what she was saying.

It wasn’t necessarily that she was in the right or wrong for saying it. It was more of the fact she said that to begin with.

(Byleth) “...I was a fool for believing that you could understand why I was doing this. Perhaps I had a bit too much faith instead of relying on my logic.”

(Leonie) “What we did to Randolph and Fleche, what we did to all those civilians?! How do any of those actions justify what our goal is?! You said we’d be bringing peace to the world, not destroying it!”

The soldiers started talking amongst themselves, agreeing and disagreeing with her.

Byleth just sighed.

(Byleth) “I always did like you, Leonie. So, as an act of mercy, you will not see what will become of your classmates.”

He unsheathed the sword of the creator before Percy walked up.

(Percy) “Sir?”

(Byleth) “What is it?”

(Percy) “I’ll be the one to do this sir. You need to focus on the task at hand, you shouldn’t have to kill one of your students.”

Byleth stayed silent. True, he really didn’t want to but he had to make an example for the men, but at the same time...

(Byleth) “You have my thanks then. Percy, take care of her, and make it painless.”

(Percy) “Yes, Nemesis.”

Alois and Riddhe stepped to the side as Percy began charging a spell in his hands.

Shamir and Alois looked at each other but didn’t say anything.

They knew what was about to happen.

(Leonie) “Percy...”

(Percy) “You’re my friend Leonie so...Sorry about this.”

Shamir and Alois closed their eyes and looked away.

Leonie shook her head slowly.

(Leonie) “You were always too compliant for your own good, ya know?”

Percy silently nodded, and raised his hand at her.

The next thing Leonie saw, was her world going black.

Percy picked up Leonie’s body and turned to Byleth.

(Percy) “I’ll bury her for you, sir.”

Byleth nodded silently.

(Byleth) “Now then...Riddhe, prepare the artillery.

....

(Edelgard) “Byleth intends to blow up the entire planet?!”

(Claude) “In his words, it’s to start everything from zero. No church, no crests, nothing so...what better way to do than to wipe the earth clean?”

(Dimitri) “And...And he already has this weapon?!”

(Claude) “No. He intends to use it Garreg Mach, and we have a limited time to intercept it.”

(Rhea) “And where is the damned child going?”

(Claude) “From the Hyrm Mountains and how long it’ll take all of our forces to reconvene, it’ll be 3 days too late to get him at the base of Those Who Slither. Our next best option is to intercept him right at the heart of Gronder Field.”

(Edelgard) “...Tch, how ironic.”

(Dimitri) “I loathe to think what would’ve happened if this war carried on as it did. We’d be fighting each other there instead...”

(Rhea) “Do not dwell on such useless thoughts, Prince Dimitri. What matters is that we kill Nemesis as fast as possible.”

(Edelgard) “We are in agreement for once.”

(Claude) “So, we can put aside all of our differences to stop Nemesis then?”

Everyone nodded and the classes started whispering to each other.

(Claude) “Fantastic. Now, let’s send letters to your armies standing near the borders and prepare to-”

KABOOOOM! (Claude) “...Fight.”

(Imperial Royal Guard) “LADY EDELGARD! THE KNIGHTS OF NEMESIS HAVE BEGUN ATTACKING DERDRIU!”

(Hilda) “They got past our patrols?!”

(Claude) “Figures, EVERYONE, PREPARE FOR BATTLE!”

Platoons of soldiers of the Knights of Nemesis began pouring onto the roads to Deridru.

(Gilbert) "GET TO THE FRONT, WE MUST PROTECT THE CIVILIANS!"

The Lion Corp moved to the front, forming a blockade with their massive shields, blocking incoming arrow fire.

(Death Knight) "MAGES!"

Imperial mages unleashed a volley of spells onto the troopers coming in, the Death Knight charging into them with his bodyguards on horseback.

Rodrigue and Judith came in with a number of troopers behind them, joining the fray.

(Judith) "Those damn mages up there are raining hell on Derdriu! If we don't get up there fast enough, this entire town will be in flames!"

(Rodrigue) "We can't get close enough! The archers are providing cover for any riders we send up there, and going by foot is suicide!"

(Gilbert) "All we can hope to do is block their main forces from storming the city! The kids will be getting the civilians to safety!"

The Death Knight rode back to them, holding his scythe firmly as he looked to the Titanius Golems moving in behind the soldiers.

(Death Knight) "We have no time for idle talk, we must take down those golems!"

(Rodrigue) "Right, TROOPERS, WITH ME!"

The four generals charged alongside their men and took the Knights of Nemesis head on.

(Seteth) "They are using the other entrances to breach the city!"

(Claude) "Golden Deers, get the townsfolk to safety!"

(Dimitri) "Lions, we shall take these bastards head on!"

(Rhea) "Knights of Seiros, we shall join the Prince in smiting down these heretics!"

(Edelgard) "Black Eagles, we move to take out the artillery!"

The classes moved out and the leaders about to join them until they heard something warp in behind them.

As the sun rose in, they saw the shadow of the person.

They all drew out their weapons and spun around, pointing it at the figure.

(Byleth) "It's been 5 years..."

No one said a word as they stood their ground, waiting for him to make a move.

(Byleth) "I should've been keeping a closer eye on you, Claude. You were always one of the more crafty students."

Claude's brows furrowed, keeping his relic trained on Byleth's head.

(Claude) "Why the hell are you trying to blow us all to oblivion?!"

(Byleth) "Because, we're all part of the problem, Claude. Humanity will never learn to stop fighting each other at this rate. The poison of the Church and Empire run too deep. The nobles, crests, relics, everything."

(Rhea) "You dare to call us a poison when you yourself take the mantle of a murderer you ignorant brat?! If you read the history of Those Who Slither, then you should know Nemesis was nothing more than a thief!"

(Edelgard) "Professor, I-"

(Byleth) "You still call me that after what you've done? You started all of this!"

(Dimitri) "You speak as if you are above us, yet you fail to realize you are a hypocrite! Condemning Edelgard and Rhea for the very actions you are doing, believing that YOU and you alone are right in what atrocities you have committed!"

(Byleth) "...I will not deny that my actions are unforgivable, but-"

(Rhea) "But NOTHING! YOU WILL DIE TODAY, HERETIC!"

(Byleth) "Then it seems I was a fool for trying to talk to a beast!-"

...

(Percy) "Hey, come on! Get up already!"

"Nnggh...what...?-"

Leonie sat up quickly realizing what had just happened.

(Leonie) "P-Percy? Are you dead too-"

(Percy) "No, you're still alive!"

Leonie's face went from relief to confusion.

(Leonie) "...What?"

(Percy) "...Truth be told, the moment we retook Garreg Mach and I had to kill all those townsfolk...I started to lose faith in our cause."

He helped Leonie up. And took off his mask, and looked at her, eye to eye.

(Percy) "And what we started doing to Randolph, his little sister and all those people? No amount of good we do will wash the blood off our hands from that."

Percy started to look off to Derdriu as the sounds of war filled the air.

(Percy) "I promised my cousin to be a mercenary to help protect families who couldn't protect their own...I guess this is my way of repaying the favor."

He turned back to her.

(Percy) "Get to town via the water, your gear is right next to you."

(Leonie) "You're...not coming with?"

(Percy) "As you said Leonie, I'm too compliant for my own good. I couldn't raise my weapon against Byleth if I could. Half out of respect and half out of fear honestly."

(Leonie) "Percy...You know what he does to-"

(Percy) "He'll kill me, I know. Don't worry about me, alright? Just get to your folks."

Before he put his mask on, he smiled at her.

(Percy) "Thanks for always being so nice to me, Leonie."

Leonie picked up her gear and nodded. A single tear dropped from her eye, but she wiped it away as they parted ways.

If she started now, she wouldn't be able to stop.

Claude and the others needed her now.

(Leonie) "Goodbye, Percy."

(Percy) "...See ya."

...

Shamir and Alois walked towards the other mages firing off artillery.

Two other mages were with them and they stopped before they reached the others.

(Mage 1) "Is there a problem?"

(Alois) "Yes son, there is."

(Shamir) "Two of them."

Alois spun around and punched the mage's stomach, making him drop to the floor.

Shamir roundhouse kicked the mage, making him fly off a small cliff below them, landing in the water.

(Alois) "I'll take care of the archers, get the mages!"

(Shamir) "Already on it."

As Alois charged towards the unsuspecting bodyguards, Shamir pulled out several small ball-like explosives.

(Shamir) "Might as well see if these prototypes work."

The archers were taking aim at the four leaders in the fight below as the mages kept bombarding the city.

(Archer 1) "On my mark!"

Right as he raised his hand, he noticed several spheres rolling under their feet.

(Archer 1) "Huh?-"

An explosion made most of the archers and mages fly off the cliff, or die from the shrapnel and blood loss as their limbs went flying.

Several more explosions went off, cutting off the Nemesis's artillery.

(Judith) "The hell is going on up there?"

(Death Knight) "An opportunity."

(Gilbert) "MEN, ADVANCE!"

...

(Raphael) "There's so many of these guys!"

He clashed two of the knights head together before throwing their bodies beside him.

Lorenz and Lysithea used magic to blast away a squad getting too close to the civilians, as Hilda and Ignatz made sure they were getting to the evacuation boats.

Marianne healed any civilian who couldn't run to the boat.

(Hilda) "At least we're not dealing with the bulk of them!"

(Ignatz) "RAPH, BEHIND YOU!"

Raphael turned around right as a knight was about to take a swing with his sword.

A knife went into the knight's head and he fell over.

(Leonie) "Note to self, thank Shamir for practice."

(Lysithea) "LEONIE!"

(Leonie) "No time to talk, where's Claude?! The Javelin is already on the move!"

(Hilda) "Huh?! But thats too early, we still have 2 days don't we?!"

(Leonie) "The report I gave you was a trick from Byleth, he knew that I'd be giving out the information on it!"

(Lorenz) "Goddess, Nemesis is fighting them!"

Everyone turned around and saw the fighting in the distance.

Claude shot several arrows, with Byleth deflecting each one, dodging Rhea's swings.

Activating the whip, Byleth rolled out the way of Edelgard's axe as it slammed down onto the concrete.

As he swung the whip at Edelgard, Dimitri hit the whip away from her and twirled at him, the lance hitting a part of Byleth's cloth.

Before he could retaliate, Riddhe and several other soldiers warped in front of him, blocking Claude's shot with a magical shield.

(Riddhe) "Sir, our artillery battery and main forces are overrun!"

(Byleth) "What?!"

(Mage 1) "Shamir and Alois have gone rogue, and have already caused catastrophic damage to morale!"

(Byleth) "Damn it, fire the flare, we're withdrawing!"

One of the mages fired a green fireball into the air as they warped away from the fight.

In the distance, they all saw the Knights of Nemesis retreat into portals.

(Rhea) "DAMN IT!"

(Dimitri) "So, this battle is won then..."

(Leonie) "CLAUDE!"

Everyone turned around and saw the Golden Deer students run up to them.

(Claude) "Leonie, thank -"

(Leonie) "Yeah yeah, good to see you too, not now! The Javelin is already on the way to Garreg Mach!"

Everyone's eyes went wide.

(Edelgard) "What?!"

(Claude) "A false report, damn it all! And our forces haven't had anytime to recover yet!"

(Shamir) "If the Javelin gets to Garreg Mach and has proper time to deploy?"

Shamir and Alois stepped around the corner, holding their weapons and hands over their injuries.

(Alois) "Then we're all dead..."

Everyone reconvened near the entrance, Catherine and Seteth's jaws hitting the floor.

(Catherine) "You two!? The hell makes you think you can just waltz back in? Leonie too!"

The three looked down onto the floor.

They couldn't deny what Catherine was saying.

(Dimitri) "Worry about the trials later, we have a much bigger crisis on our hands! EVERYONE, LISTEN WELL!"

Dimitri shouted loud enough for all the soldiers to hear, clearly conveying the situation at hand.

(Edelgard) "We must ride to our armies, and regroup at Gronder Field!"

(Rhea) "How much of the heretics will be present to defend their Javelin?"

(Shamir) "Almost half our forces will be there to defend it now that information has been leaked. The rest are stationed at Garreg Mach awaiting for a fight."

(Claude) "Then let's get moving, people!"

Everyone steeled themselves as they got on horses to alert their armies.

This was going to be the bloodiest battle Fodlan had ever seen since the old days.

-----

The Elites of the Fell Star Journal - “Surprise”

If there’s one thing we weren’t expecting once the news of our doomsday weapon was leaked, was that all four factions would unite under a single banner.

With the false leak that we’d be moving later, we thought we could at least get a bit of a distance from the armies before they could converge.

And for once in our entire campaign, we were the ones getting surprised.

I’ll tell you right now.

I’d trade places with that poor bastard Randolph than partake in the Battle of Gronder again.

-----

[Escape - Darling In The Franxx]

[ruoyeming]

My Fav Books, another chaotic list

Another quarantine review fest! I know I ranked my top anime but this is seriously too hard so I’m just going to list them to avoid hours of debate. Enjoy!

1) The Skulduggery Pleasant series

This whopper of a series (now at 15 books jesus christ I didn’t know there were that many I’ve only read about twelve) has a special place in my heart. I was FULLY obsessed with it throughout my tween - and teen - years, and for a reason. This shit just butters my bread like nothing else. The story follows a young girl Valkyrie Cain (who eventually becomes a young woman through the series) and her partner in crime, a fashionable living skeleton called Skulduggery Pleasant. They’re MAGICAL DETECTIVES!!!! Bitch!!! They use elemental magic - water, earth, fire, air - to fight off magic-wielding bad guys and look good doing it. The duo is hilarious and seriously shaped my sense of humour, the dry wit and comedic writing style stuck with me and influenced my own writing style to this day! As the series progresses we get a massive cast of characters but to me they’re all memorable, likable (mostly) and well-developed so that’s not an issue. I have no fukcing clue how Derek Landy comes up with his stories because every book in the series has an absolutely wild (yet unique) plot with its own twists and turns. It gets REALLY dark and depressing at times, gory, brutal etc etc especially in the later books I have no idea why this is labeled as a kids series.

10/10 for badassery, humour, and MAD codependency issues

2) The Feverwake series

This bitch is one hell of a YA series. It’s actually only a 2 book-series which is rare, but that’s not the only thing that sets it apart from other creations of its genre. It’s hard to explain the setup without waffling so I’ll just quote the blurb of the first book: “In the former United States, sixteen-year-old Noam Álvaro wakes up in a hospital bed, the sole survivor of the viral magic that killed his family and made him a technopath. His ability to control technology attracts the attention of the minister of defense and thrusts him into the magical elite of the nation of Carolinia.

The son of undocumented immigrants, Noam has spent his life fighting for the rights of refugees fleeing magical outbreaks—refugees Carolinia routinely deports with vicious efficiency. Sensing a way to make change, Noam accepts the minister’s offer to teach him the science behind his magic, secretly planning to use it against the government. But then he meets the minister’s son—cruel, dangerous, and achingly beautiful—and the way forward becomes less clear.”

As you can tell from this, the series is heavy on its politics but in a grounded, realistic and relevant way which is different to many other YA series. Marxist theory is brought up, and you can make some pretty strong links between the books and real events. The magic also has a semi-scientific explanation which is cool and adds to the realness. Anyways this series is action packed and full of twists, plus there’s a bisexual main character and queer romance at the core!! Wig!!! Very good for moral debate - how far is it acceptable to go to protect the oppressed before you become one of the oppressors? Dark and exciting series.

10/10 queer representation and political themes.

3) Spin the Dawn

It’s probably obvious that I’m biased towards YA books but they’re just so exciting and cool! Anyways this is about a girl living in a kind of alternate universe ancient China where magic exists. Maia Tamarin is a skilled seamstress who dreams of being the Imperial Tailor, a position that can only be held by a man. She poses as her brother to go to the royal palace and enter a competition full of skilled tailors, all vying for the role of imperial tailor. She also meets Edan; a mysterious, annoying, but SEXY mage who seems to know her secret identity? Oho? IMO this would be an elevated book if Edan had been a girl but that’s just me being gay. As the final challenge Maia is tasked with making 3 dresses from the sun, moon, and stars - a mission that takes her to the ends of the world in search of these magical materials (obvs Edan goes with her and they kiss kiss fall in love). It’s a fairly classic YA plot and characters but the combination of Project Runway, Mulan, and kind of Lord of the Rings(??) vibes makes for a very entertaining read. It’s also really fun to imagine what the clothes look like, plus the romance between Maia and Edan is very cute. Second book is yet to be published but sounds lit.

10/10 magic fashion and romance (despite its heterosexuality)

4) Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

Usually I steer clear of angsty gay stories because I’ve consumed too much of the depressing narrative which is all about suffering because of being gay, but fuuuuuuck this book is like the definition of bittersweet. Mostly bitter to be fair but it has a happy ending which was lovely after the emotional torment of the book. It’s about two teen boys - Aristotle is angry and repressed, Dante is eccentric but kind, and the two eventually form a strong friendship after meeting at the local pool. It’s kind of obvious that Ari is in denial about a few things, which leads to some real sad boi hours. There’s also a devastating moment around halfway (not sure) through with a car accident which makes the whole thing 10x heavier. Despite all this, the book has its sweet moments - parents play a big role, but not in the way they usually do in queer stories - and like I said the ending is the bandage for your broken heart. I’m not sure what it is about the writing style, maybe the way it just cuts between scenes randomly or perhaps the way the dialogue and actions are so realistic, but it’s so different to any other book I’ve read that it’s stayed in my mind for a while after reading it.

10/10 really good philosophy plus supportive parents

5) The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue

Okay if this was a ranked list, this bad boy would be on its way to the top spot. It’s got everything: historical setting, gays, pirates, alchemy, humour, adventure, angst, character development, and some healthy second-hand embarrassment. It’s not complicated or philosophical but reading this book all in one go is like taking five shots and diving into a pool. It’s exciting and witty, but deals with darker themes like child abuse too. One of the MCs also has a disability and doesn’t treat it as something to be cured, which is a lesson our protagonist has to learn. Speaking of protagonists, Henry ‘Monty’ Montague is a great main character. He’s obnoxious, oblivious, and hedonistic yet quick-witted and passionate, and he has a good heart. Sometimes you just want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him for being such an ignorant idiot, but throughout the book he grows and learns to open his mind more (as well as becoming more humble). He’s a great example of a flawed yet likable main character. He is also a bisexual icon.

Oof forgot to even talk about the story. Monty embarks on a tour of Europe, usually taken by lads his age to get all cultured before they settle down and inherit the family company or whatever. With him are his younger sister Felicity, a girl with a brilliant mind for science who isn’t taken seriously by anyone because of her gender, and the lovely Percy, Monty’s lifelong best friend (and crush). Monty ends up stealing a very valuable object that turns the Tour into a manhunt across Europe, and drags the trio into a big ol’ conspiracy involving something that may or may not be the philosopher’s stone????

Issues of race, gender, and disability in historical context are really well done, and it’s an absolute banger of a book.

10/10 very exciting adventure, plus GREAT GAY ROMANCE

6) Heaven Official’s Blessing

HOOOOOO BOY. This is probably my absolute fave on this list. It’s a webnovel (originally Chinese but the full translation is online). Set in ancient china in the cultivation world (difficult as shit to explain if ur not into all of that but I’ll try), basically there’s three realms - the heavenly realm, the human/mortal realm, and the ghostly realm. If a mortal reaches a certain point (good deeds, power etc), they ascend to become a god - or if they fall far enough, they become a ghost. 

I’ll just quote the author’s description again cause I don’t have the brain cells required:

 “Eight hundred years ago, Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of the Xian Le kingdom. He was loved by his citizens and was considered the darling of the world. He ascended to the Heavens at a young age; however, due to unfortunate circumstances, was quickly banished back to the mortal realm. Years later, he ascends again–only to be banished again a few minutes after his ascension. Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian ascends to the Heavens for the third time as the laughing stock among all three realms. On his first task as a god thrice ascended, he meets a mysterious demon who rules the ghosts and terrifies the Heavens, yet, unbeknownst to Xie Lian, this demon king has been paying attention to him for a very, very long time.”

It’s hard to describe the enormity of this story and all the emotions it encapsulates, you really have to read it for yourself. But bitch the undying, pure, Hozier-devotion-level LOVE is by far my favourite part of this story. If you’re looking for an epic, god-tier gay romance, then this is it baby!! This story has comedy, action, and downright harrowingly depressing moments, but throughout is this achingly beautiful love between fallen god and last believer.

I don’t wanna give too much away cause there are some big ol’ plot reveals, but oooh this shit made me cry. The protagonist is MY FAVOURITE EVER I didn’t think it was possible to like a protag so much!! He’s legit my fave character! At first he seems oblivious and carefree but he’s just doing his goddamn best after all he’s been through and he’s so fukcing kind and just wants to help everyone for fuckcs sake excuse me I need to go have a breakdown.

Okay I’m back, anyway there’s a great cast of characters, even the background characters are all incredibly memorable and all given their time to shine and develop. My faves include Quan Yizhen, a rowdy himbo who just wants to fight, and Shi Qing Xuan, a friendly genderfluid god who controls the wind. Read this shit I’m not joking it’ll change your life. 

10/10 for everything

[50funny]

Mage- Chapter 8:Countdown Till Test Time

Written By 50funny

Part 1- 8 Hours Till Test Time

Liz, Alex and Bip stumbled down the busy capital city streets, exhausted by their long run from the train. The group collapsed on the side of the streets, too fatigued to continue.

“I never thought we’d make it,” Liz panted heavily.

“I can taste my lungs,” wheezed Bip.

“At least we finally made it to capital city,” Alex huffed.

Liz looked up, gaining a burst of energy as she realized she had at long last reached capital city. She stood up bursting with excitement.

“capital city!” Liz exclaimed.

Liz’s eye’s darted around the busy capital city streets, amazed by the enormous brick buildings touching the sky. The air was filled with the sounds of thousands of voices and screeches of car tires along the streets. Liz frantically ran around, jumping from shop window to shop window taking in the new and strange products on sale.\

“Liz calm down,” Alex said as he regained his stamina.

Liz ignored Alex continuing to dart around. She turned her head to see a large group of people on the other side of the busy street staring into a shop window. Turning around, Liz ran across the street causing the cars to break violently and the air to fill with the sounds of honking horns as they narrowly avoided hitting her.  She continued across the street ignorant of her close call. The group around the window began to dissipate as Liz placed her face up against the glass.

“Wooooooooow,” Liz said, looking into the window.

Behind the glass, sitting atop a luxurious velvet pillow, sat an intricately engraved stick. A small piece of cardboard sat in front of it with ‘Echo Model Twenty’ written on it in cursive. Alex and Bip approached Liz from down the street having safely crossed at the pedestrian crossing.

“Liz you can’t just run across the street like that, it’s dangerous,” Alex said.

“What’s that?” Liz asked, ignoring Alex’s lecture.

Alex looked into the window at the object.

“That’s a catalyst,” stated Alex.

“A catalyst? What’s that?”

Bip and Alex turned around and looked at Liz dumbfounded by her ignorance.

“You can’t be serious?” Alex said.

Liz nodded her head up and down.

“The magical pathways in a person lead to five places, the hands, feet and the mouth. Those are the places magic users can use to cast their abilitiess. A catalyst, like that, is an item imbedded with magic that can act as a new place to cast from,” Bip explained continued. “They have a tendency to dilute magic and make it a little bit weaker, so pro mages don’t typically use them. They’re usually used  by new magic users to make practice easier, but some choose to use them for the safety aspect.”

“Safety aspect?” Liz puzzled.

“You’re kidding me?” Alex said. “Magic can be incredibly dangerous. If you don’t know what you're doing when you cast, you could seriously injure yourself, or even die,”

“I never knew,” said Liz quietly, disturbed by this new information.

“Then it’s a miracle you haven’t blown your arm off yet,” declared Alex.

Voices started to cut through among the drone of city noises.

“Come join our guild!” came a call from the distance.

Liz looked off down the street to see a line of people, holding up signs and handing out flyers.

“Join the Wolf Pack Guild,” shouted an athletic man draped in a wolf pelt.

“Come play with the Gamers Guild,” yelled a scrawny man with a pale complexion.

“Join the Guild of the Neutral! Or, don’t,” said a women dressed in beige in a monotone voice.

“Wow, real guilds! This is amazing,” Liz said, looking bright eyed towards the group.

“Yeah, not quite,” Alex observed.

Liz looked over to Alex slightly confused.

“Real guilds don’t need to hand out flyers. These guys probably belong to unofficial guilds that can’t afford registration,”

“But if guilds don’t advertise themselves, how are we gonna find one to join?”

“That’s simple, come on Liz, let’s take a trip to the library.” Alex walked off down the busy street followed shortly behind by Liz and Bip.

Part 2- 7 Hours Till Test Time

The elderly librarian looked over the top of her glasses at the trio standing on the opposite side of the library counter.

“One guild almanac please,” Alex said, flashing his winning smile.

Alex placed the large leather bound book trimmed with gold down on the table in front of Liz. The group sat at an old wooden table in the large brick library, echoing with whispers and the gentle turning of pages.

Liz looked down at the book in front of her.

“What’s this?” Liz whispered in awe.

“It’s a guild almanac. It’s a comprehensive lists every official guild currently in operation.” explained Alex. “They only had last year’s addition so some of the information might be a little out of date.”

Liz looked down at the massive book in wonder.

“Wow, that’s so cool,” Liz said as she grabbed the book. “Let’s get into it already,”

Liz pulled opened the cover revealing a completely blank page. She looked at it confused as she flicked through the pristine pages, each one completely devoid of any information.

“Uhhh Alex. I think you got a defective one,” Liz said confused.

“It’s a magical book Liz, it doesn’t work like that,” Alex said. “You gotta give it parameters and it’ll show you the best Guild that fits your description.”

Liz tapped the table as she thought about what she wanted out of a Guild.

“Hmm, I don’t know? Just like a good Guild, I guess,” Liz said.

“You gotta be more specific than that,” said Alex.

The book let out a high pitched ping.

“Searching for, a good guild,” came a mechanical women’s voice from the book.

The book began to turn its own pages until it stopped half way through on a blank page. Information began to slowly appear on the page surrounded by an elegant boarder. The page was ornately titled ‘The Good Guys Guild’ with neat lines of text underneath as well as an illustration of a coat of arms depicting  a thumbs up.

“The Good Guys Guild. Designation: the charity guild. Rating: C class. Description: The Good Guy’s Guild primarily focuses on preforming small acts of kindness for little to no charge. Members say they are payed in the smiles of those they help,” the book intoned.

“Hmm, doesn’t really seem like the right guild for us,” Liz said clenching her fist in determination. “Alright, let’s find ourselves the perfect guild!”

 Part 3- 1 Hours Till Test Time

Bip laid curled up tightly, purring lightly in between his snores. Alex dug his forehead into the table as he let out a long sigh.

“Come on Liz,” he moaned, “We’ve been at this for hours, just pick a guild already,”

Liz continued intently scanning the page of the book.

“I’m not just gonna pick any old guild Alex. It needs to be the perfect guild,” Liz said. “This ones not gonna do either,” she muttered to herself.

Alex raised his head off the desk, his sunken eyes struggling to focus on Liz.

“Finding the perfect guild won’t matter if we run out of time to register.”

“Then I’ll just wait till next year. My original plan was to train for a few years before I took the guild test so I don’t mind waiting.”

Alex slammed his head against the table forcefully, sending out a loud bang.

“You’re hopeless” Alex grumbled into the timber. “Let’s try this again. What do you want out of a guild? And keep it specific.”

“It’s not like I’m asking that much. A high paying guild that can take me across the world on all sorts of adventure. Is that so hard?”

The book let out a high pitched ping. The pages flipped before stopping near the start. A list of guild names began to appear on the page.

“Showing: 107 results,” the book said.

Alex raised his head from the table and began to scan the page.

“We’ve already look at most of these guilds,” he complained.

Alex’s eyes stopped on one of the guilds.

“This one’s new,” Alex continued tapping on the page.

The book let out another high pitched ping

“The Cleaner’s Guild. Designation: the cleanliness guild. Rating: A class. Description: The Cleaner’s Guild focus on all sorts of tasks and quests. Their magical prowess is second only to their powers of cleaning,” the book said.

“No way! Who likes cleaning?” Liz said.

“How about this one then?” said Alex, pointing at a line in the book.

Liz shook her head, “Nah, I don’t like the name.”

“This is hopeless.”

“I’m sorry I have high standards Alex. This is an important decision. I don’t want just any guild; I want a guild in its own class. A class above the rest,” mused Liz.

The book once again let out a ping and began flipping through its pages.

“Searching for: a class above the rest,” said the book.

The book landed on a page far into itself. The page’s title began to bleed in saying ‘The Guild of the Silver Sun” with a coat of arms of a sun.

The pages of the book flew past  eventually landing on a page far into itself. The inky swirl began to bleed across the paper and form the page’s title saying ‘The Guild of the Silver Sun”. A coat of arms featuring a blazing silver sun on a black background.

“The Guild of the Silver Sun. Designation: the elite guild. Rating: S class. Description: the Guild of the Silver Sun is one of only 5 guilds to receive the S class and the first ever to do so.” the book said. “Only the most powerful mages are able to pass the guild’s rigorous tests. Due to the guilds reputation, they are often sort out by wealthy clients and those with tasks too dangerous for other, lesser guilds to take on.”

“Wow, these guys sound like the real deal,” Alex looked up from the book to Liz. “What do you say Liz, these guys up to your standards?”

Liz scratched her chin in thought as she let out a long hum.

“Oh come on Liz, you can’t be serious these guys are perfect,” Alex complained.

“Stop, your whining, but your right these guys do seem pretty perfect. I guess they’ll do.”

“Wait, are you serious? We can finally leave?” Alex said excitedly grabbing the book off the desk as he stood up. “I’ll go return this then. Let’s get a move on, we haven’t got much time left.”

Alex ran off through the library. Liz let out a long sigh as she looked over to Bip still sleeping calmly.

“So impatient,” Liz said standing up and gently picking Bip up, cradling him as she walked to the door.  “I just hope these guys live up to their reputation.”

 Part 4- 10 minutes Till Test Time

Liz, Alex and Bip stood on the footpath unsure of what exactly they were looking at. In front of the group stood a small, rickety wooden building, in complete contrast to the modern city scape surrounding it.

“Ahhh Alex, you sure this is the place?” asked Liz.

Alex looked down to a page ripped from the guild almanac before looking back up to the house.

“Yeah, this is the address on the page.” Alex said.

“Maybe they closed down?” Liz theorized.

Bip flew up the stairs to the door of the building. Pinned to the door was a small piece of paper with writing on it. Bip scanned the writing on the sheet before turning around to Liz and Alex.

“They’re still in business. Looks like we need to go ‘round to the backdoor,” Bip said before flying off down the disused alleyway beside the building.

Alex and Liz glanced down the alleyway, before following Bip’s lead.They walked down the tight, cobweb filled alleyway, stepping over overflowing rubbish bins and piles of trash. Puddles of slimy rainwater collected in the potholes reflecting the meagre sunlight that glimpsed between the buildings.

“Think I might be changing my mind about this guild,” said Liz.

“No way. You can’t back out now,” Alex replied.

“Seriously, look at this place! It’s a dump,” Liz complained. “I mean what kind of person would wanna join a guild this shabby.”

Liz and Alex walked out of the alleyway onto a bustling footpath. The footpath was crowded with people lining up outside the guild building down the street as far as the eye could see. Alex stopped in his tracks and Liz’s jaw dropped at the sight.

“Holy crap!” said Alex. “That’s a lot of people,”

“This is hopeless. There’s no way we can get through all this in time,” Liz exclaimed.

“Maybe if you were a little more decisive,” Alex mumbled.

3 walked down along the line casually as he approached the guild building.

“Wow, lot of new recruits this year,” 3 said to himself.

3 looked over to the alleyway seeing Alex, Liz and Bip talking.

“ Oh dear, you’re not inside already,” 3 said glancing down to his watch and over to the line. “Hmm this could be a problem. There’s no way you’ll make it through all of this in time,” 3 continued as he began walking towards the group. “I had hoped to keep our first encounter until after you had passed the test, but I suppose it can’t be helped,”

Liz looked over to see the tall immaculately dressed man approaching them with purpose .

“Ahhh, hey guys, is he looking at us?”

Alex and Bip looked over to 3 as he reached the group stopping directly in front of them . There was an uncomfortable silence as 3 smiled pleasantly at the group.

“Uhhhh, hello,” Bip said awkwardly.

“Hello, my name is 3. nice to meet you,” 3 said bowing to the group.

“Hello, please let me introduce myself. My name is 3”, said 3, “pleasure to meet you all,” he finished with a formal bow.

“Ummm, nice to meet you too,” said Liz. “So what do you want?”

“Oh, where are my manners,’ said 3 as he stood up and looked directly at Liz. “I’m here to escort you to the front of the line.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Well, I noticed your little predicament here. I sense great potential in your little group and as it happens I’m actually a part of the guild leadership, so it would be remiss of me to let such talented individual miss the chance to join our guild. So, what do you say?” 3 explained.

“Huh really?” Liz exclaimed. “That sounds too good to be true. What do you think Alex?”

Liz turned around to see Alex. His face was extremely pale and his mouth hung slightly agape. Alex’s fist was clenched tightly, his nails digging into the palm of his hand.

“Ahh, Alex?” Liz said concerned. “You ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Alex snapped out of his state shaking his head.

“Huh, what? Yeah, that sounds great,” Alex said.

“Splendid,” 3 exclaimed excitedly. “If you would please follow me, I shall take you inside.”

3 began walking towards the guild building followed shorty behind by Liz, Alex and Bip. Liz looked across to Alex still obviously shaken by something.  She shuffled over and leaned in close to Alex.

“Alex, you ok?” Liz asked concerned by Alex’s sudden shift.

“Huh, yeah I’m fine why you ask?” Alex replied unconvincingly.

“Don’t lie to me Alex. The second that guy showed up you completely shut down. So what’s up, do you know him or something?”

Alex looked down to the ground, reluctant to open up to Liz.

“I don’t know,” Alex whispered looking back up to Liz. “I don’t think I’ve ever met him before, but when I look at him, I just get this bad feeling.”

“Do you think it’s safe to trust him like this then?”

“I don’t know, but it’s not like we have another option if we want to join a guild this year. Just be on your guard around him.”

Liz nodded at Alex. The group walked up the stairs past the crowd to the door of the building. 3 pushed the door open and walked in. He held the door open gesturing for Liz, Alex and Bip to enter. The group walked into the cramped run down looking room with a small counter in the middle of it. a dingy light hung from the middle of the ceiling flickering intermittently. Along the back wall was another set of doors, barricaded shut by a large wooden plank.

“What a dump,” Liz muttered under her breath.

Suddenly a young girl shot up from behind the counter wearing a traditional floral dress. The girl looked around the room for a moment before her eyes landed on the group.

“Oh hello Master 3, pleasure to have you back sir,” the lady said bowing down.

“The pleasure is all mine Mia,” 3 said as he approached the counter. “I have some new recruits here as you can see. I was wondering if you could be a dear and fetch them a registration form.”

Mia looked across to the group before turning her head back to face 3.

“I’m sorry Master 3, we’re already at capacity. I’ve been told not to let anyone else in,” Mia said apologetically.

3 leaned in close to Mia and began to whisper in her ear.  

“Ohh. I see,” Mia said.

3 stood back up straight and smiled towards Mia.

“Now do you understand?” he asked.

“Of course sir,” Mia said turning her head to the group. “Excuse me, but if you could please come over here.”

The group began to approach the counter. Mia ducked down and began rummaging around in the draws. She popped back up from under the bench holding two thick binders and a pair of ball point pens. Mia held the binders out to Liz and Alex with a practiced smile on her face.

“Please fill out all the information on the front of your binder, and refrain from opening them until instructed,” Mia said as Alex and Liz took their binders. “These will act as your registration for the Guild of the Silver Sun, so please insure that all the information is completely accurate.”

Alex and Liz placed their binders down on the counter and began filling out the information. Mia looked over, watching them write and patiently waiting for them to finish. Alex and Liz finished writing and held their binders out to Mia. Mia took the binders out of their hands and looked down at the information they had written down.

“Thank you very much Mr Alex and Mrs Liz, now if you would please follow me,” Mia said as she walked over to the side of the counter.

Mia lifted up the partition leading behind the counter and began walking towards the other door with small quick steps, followed shortly behind by the rest of the group.  She grabbed the wooden plank blocking the door and with a strained push moved it to the side.

“Please proceed into the main hall,” Mia said.

“Main hall?” Isn’t that the front door?” Liz asked.

“Ha, just wait,” 3 chuckled.

The group began to walk towards the door.

“Ummm I’m sorry sir,” Mia said holding her hand out to block Alex. “Your familiar isn’t allowed into the main hall during the test, to keep it fair for everyone.”

“Huh, Bip? He’s my seeing eye famil…” Alex said before being cut off.

“Alex it’s ok, don’t worry about it,” said Bip.

“You sure?” asked Alex.

“Yeah, it’ll be good to have you out of my hair for a while,” Bip teased.

Mia let out a slight giggle.

“Now that’s settled, please proceed, and the best of luck to the both of you,” Mia said.

Mia placed both her hands on the door, and with a heave pushed open the doors. A blinding light flooded into the dingy room, as Liz and Alex looked on into the

________________________________________________________________To Be Continued 

Thank you for reading chapter 9 of mage. With this chapter bring the official start of the guild test arc, i know, exciting stuff indeed. in the coming weeks there will be some changes to how i post my content so keep an eye out for more info on the in the future. If you like what you’ve seen please consider following my tumblr for a new chapter every Friday. Until next week, have a good day.

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What We Learned: Coming to terms with the Bruins being good

The Boston Bruins are on a serious roll. (Getty Images)

Toronto and Boston both won on Saturday in their respective last games before the Christmas break.

That positioned the Leafs two points ahead of the Bruins for second place in the Atlantic Division, but the Leafs have also played three additional games. And the way things are going for Boston right now, with only two regulation losses in 11 games in December, maybe we have to accept something that seemed a little unrealistic at the start of the season: This Bruins team might be pretty damn good.

That might be a bit difficult to accept for a lot of reasons. On paper, their defense is pretty underwhelming even if it has a few bright spots. On paper, their forward group has like five guys who look to be difference-makers (even if you rightly believe that first line is among the best in hockey). On paper, Tuukka Rask and Anton Khudobin might not seem like anything resembling a great goaltending tandem any more.

And on paper, when they started out 6-7-4 due largely to a raft of injuries to important players, you would have been well within your rights to take a pass on the Bruins’ playoff chances. They’re 12-3-1 since that time, though, and while that has obviously required some serious luck (their PDO is 102.7 in that time, fourth-highest in the league) they’ve been very good foundationally as well. Their possession numbers over the last 16 games rank fifth in the NHL. Their numbers have, in fact, been very good all season — they were also fourth in possession over their first 17 games, but had a 98.6 PDO, so that’s hockey.

It’s hard to overstate how important that top line is, though. Injuries and other issues forced Bruce Cassidy — who by the way has now coached the Bruins for 61 games and has 80 points and some really good underlying numbers since he took over behind the bench — to separate the incredible trio of Brad Marchand, Patrice Bergeron, and David Pastrnak for a good chunk of the season, and while those guys were all still good apart, together they’ve been dynamite.

How about this: The Marchand-Bergeron-Pastrnak line has now played almost 200 minutes together at 5-on-5 and haven’t been on the ice for a goal against. They’ve also scored 10 times, which isn’t a huge number given the TOI, but it’s at least respectable, and the result of an on-ice shooting percentage of just 8.1. Maybe you’d expect a higher that standard they’ve been a little lucky this season.

But even when those guys — with their 60-plus Corsi, shot, and expected-goal shares — are off the ice, the Bruins are still very good (though that obviously ignores the fact that they were being sprinkled throughout the lineup earlier in the year). But let’s take, for instance, David Backes, who might be out for quite a while still, and looked Very Done last year and early in this season as well. Despite looking like he was going to be a huge drag on the Bruins all year, his underlying numbers are elite just about any way you want to look at them. And that’s with the majority of his minutes being played with the basically no-name duo of mediocre veteran Riley Nash and promising-but-not-highly-touted rookie Danton Heinen. When you can get anyone to get David Backes’s underlying numbers to look respectable, there’s something good going on. When they’re all north of 55? That’s incredible.

A lot of the credit has to go to Cassidy: He was handed the keys to a franchise with too many older, broken-down, overpaid players and too many guys on ELCs. There were elite contributors throughout the lineup, but seemingly not enough to get things turned around. Not only does he have the Bruins playing at a roughly 108-point pace since he took over, but every number is great at 5-on-5; third in xGF and goals, first in Corsi, and all with a manageable PDO. And this season, both the power play and penalty kill are better than league average as well.

But so too must we credit a lot of the lower-pair contributors. Heinen has 22 points in 30 games thanks in large part to an unsustainable shooting percentage, but his underlyings are phenomenal as well. Frank Vatrano is having another good season. Anders Bjork was good until he wasn’t. Jake DeBrusk has been pretty good as well. And obviously the crown jewel in the Bruins’ stable of youngsters is Charlie McAvoy, whose performance has been above and beyond anything anyone had any right to expect this season. He has 19 points, which is a good total for any defenseman (tied for 26th in the league), but his performance at 5-on-5 is Chara-in-his-prime good in terms of the underlying numbers.

Obviously McAvoy doesn’t have the all-encompassing presence his pairing partner once did and to some extent still does, but he’s making everyone he’s on the ice with look better to an extent that no one could have anticipated, no matter how high on him they might have been. If this kid, playing his first full season of pro hockey, as a teenager, getting No. 1, tough-assignment minutes, hits 40ish points this year and has possession of 55ish percent at year’s end, then it’s as easy a Calder decision as we’ve had in recent years.

And Chara is still playing very good hockey, by the way. So is Torey Krug (despite the occasional grumble from locals in Boston). These were the three guys the Bruins needed to have going all year to be competitive, and they’re all doing it. But here’s how well things are going for the Bruins right now: Kevan Miller is having a dynamite season with positive relative numbers at 5-on-5 pretty much across the board.

If the D can keep this up — i.e. if McAvoy can avoid hitting the wall Brandon Carlo did last season — then there’s no reason to think the Bruins will slow down.

While they probably were never as bad as they were to start the year, they also aren’t as good as they’ve been in recent weeks. But the middle ground there is, of course, what puts them comfortably in contention for the second playoff spot in the division, and given both the way things have gone and the quality of the team in first, that feels just about right.

Kinda surprising, but hey, here we are.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: Damn this was an impressive game from Anaheim.

Arizona Coyotes: I missed this earlier last week but: haha.

Boston Bruins: What if, and bear with me here, but  what if Tuukka Rask is just good? Followup: What if we didn’t have to re-litigate this every season?

Buffalo Sabres: The Sabres are averaging almost 40 shots a night over their last few games, and that to me is a good number to aim for.

Calgary Flames: Basically nothing is happening on the arena front, presumably because ownership is still sulking. Losers.

Carolina Hurricanes: You can try to spin this as though it’s good but, uh, it’s not.

Chicago Blackhawks: One wonders if this team has any post-Christmas shakeup plans. They’ve been playing very well lately but lost their last two games by a combined scored of 8-1 and still not in a playoff spot.

Colorado Avalanche: I love that Nathan MacKinnon is good again.

Columbus Blue Jackets: The Jackets haven’t lost to Philly at home since 2005. Pierre-Luc DuBois, who had the shootout winner on Saturday, was 7 years old. Fun sport.

Dallas Stars: This is incredible.

Detroit Red Wings: Calling all fans of the Hold Steady. Detroit needs your help.

Edmonton Oilers: This seems like a real “lipstick on a pig” scenario.

Florida Panthers: It’s a Christmas miracle.

Los Angeles Kings: The Kings hadn’t been shut out this season until Saturday. Pretty incredible.

Minnesota Wild: What this team definitely needed was more bad news.

Montreal Canadiens: So uhh, what do the Habs do now?

Nashville Predators: Just unreal.

New Jersey Devils: The Devils are first in the Metro? Okay, sure.

New York Islanders: Yeah I dunno about this.

New York Rangers: The Rangers love giving up 35-plus shots. They love it and they do it all the time.

Ottawa Senators: The Senators? Listless? Say it ain’t so!

Philadelphia Flyers: Here’s me saying “Hmmmmm” for 12 hours straight.

Pittsburgh Penguins: How many times have we gotten this take in recent years?

San Jose Sharks: It honestly feels like Martin Jones is undefeated all-time against the Kings but he’s only 8-3-2 with a .927 save percentage. So that’s still pretty good.

St. Louis Blues: Yeah playing the Canucks is usually good for what ails ya.

Tampa Bay Lightning: Hey if you’re gonna score three goals in three minutes, doing it late in a scoreless game is definitely the meanest way to do it.

Toronto Maple Leafs: I don’t like to hear this.

Vancouver Canucks: Get used to this, kid.

Vegas Golden Knights: And yet “Vegas Golden Knights whine” has been in my email inbox all season.

Washington Capitals: The Vegas Flu Is Real!!!!!!

Winnipeg Jets: In my opinion it’s bad to give up a hat trick.

Play of the Weekend

Good lord, Jonathan Huberdeau.

Gold Star Award

Matt Barzal might be the guy that keeps Charlie McAvoy from winning the Calder, but I won’t accept that! Especially because, from what I understand, the Bruins could have drafted Barzal but, from what I understand, didn’t.

Minus of the Weekend

Zac Rinaldo is still in the league, huh?

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Year

User “King in Glory” is getting creative.

Pacioretty Lindgren Juulsen

For

Barzal

Sign-off

Seymoooooour!

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)