#you guys can't see them but i swear they are literally so fuckin' hot like just so cool

[homicidal-slvt]

Have you guys ever created a hot character in your head? Like an OC that is just so beyond sexy. But like- you have no idea what to do with them. They just live in your brain.

[iplayghoul]

i know im supposed to finish that ghost fic, but i kept thinking ab piss kink wit onyankopon. stay wit me now!

ony's the typa nigga to not have a thing for feet at awwl, but will suck on ur pretty toes when he sees u got them done, just bc its youu

so the piss kink conversation was nothing in depth really! but it starts off spending the day at the mall wit him, you had water with breakfast, grabbed a caramel frapp as you started your shopping adventures with him and got some sprite wit your lunch that almost killed u !!

its nnottt long at all b4 u gotta get to the bathroom :3 the first time u ask ur like "ony can u hold my bags for me, i gotta go pee real quick babe." and its a simple question really, ur handing ur bags over to him already but he doesnt take them, he just says "nah, lets go," and suddenly youre... a bit shellshocked lmfao. but he has you walking into the next store like nothing happened.

within another hour, your feet hurt and youre ready to gtfo this damn mall :( and ur bladder is holdin on by a thread too ! ur bouncin on the balls of ur feet and bouncing your legs restlessly as you hold ur pee, literally throbbing from the sensitivity 😭😭

so u ask him again, "ony bae, i really needa go piss, come on." this time he stops n looks u in the eyes, rubbing your arms calmingly and says, "you can hold it, can't you mama? you're a big girl u can do that f'me. cant you?" ur eyes are glossed overrr the ache is honestly unbearable so within the next 20 minutes yall are finally getting home.

when u guys get back to ur apartment, ur rushinnn to ur bathroom so quick, but ony grabs you by the arm, lightly pushing u to just sit on the bed and u bounce restlessly on the bed, ur piss just on the edgeee ready to come out >>:( u cant help but mumble questions at him, getting irritated but he remains calm and only smiles, drawing his fingers between ur legs to put pressure on ur clit. he rubs hard circles on you and now youre torn between focusing on the stimulation to your clit and trying not to piss all over him and the bed.

he's soo sneaky and skillful honestly, he's holding you down with one arm while the other is working you hard and slow, letting your clit harden and puff out below his thumb and his eyes are glued to yours, except all you can do is stare at his thumb's work. as if that would help u stop yourself from peeing :/

i like 2 think that ony is quite mean, but hes so soft and casual about it, he gets away with it so easy. because its only a matter if time before he has two long fingers in your pussy, together with his thumb on your clit and now you're gripping that arm so bad 😭 eyes teary and can never be drawn away from observing his hands on you.

its sinister honestly the way he so slowly strokes your g-spot with his clean cut and trimmed nails. and then he's getting on his knees... everything speeds up and suddely your tapping his arm quick, panicked telling him to stop before you cum. n squirt all over him. his eyes remain trained on yours, revelling in the way your eyes frantically move from his to his fingers and back to his😭😭😭 "mmm, u cant handle dat?" he mumbles, onya's so mean to u >_< you're speechless honestly, this day didnt go how you expected it.

but, ur dripping down his palm, tears mimicing it the same way on your cheeks and then youre cuming hot and heavy . u swear warmth washes over your entire body and your thighs squeeze around his hand and ony's fingers never fuckin stop . orgasming so damn hard your tummy started to cramp up and ur legs stiffened up baaad in that position. "let it go baby, c'mon mama. been such a good girl f'me."

and jus like that, u let go, piss n squirt, whatever the fuck it is spraying in a hot, relieving stream onto his face just like he wanted, he gives ur lower lips a few kisses n licks :<< then going slack jawed, cupping ur cunt wit his mouth while u spasm and moan above him. lettin u full his mouth up real good :)

[jessybarnes]

Insatiable

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader 

Rating: 18+ Only

Tags: SMUT, fluff, slight angst...like you'll have to squint to see it, oral fixation, oral sex, squirting, multiple orgasms, scratching, spanking, slight dom Chris, unprotected sex, face riding, language, nipple play, choking, hair pulling, and I believe that's it. 

Word Count: 2,136

Beta: T. Thompson 

Title Card: Yours Truly 

Written for: One of my besties. She saw a TikTok of Chris wiping his beard with his hand and her reaction was "Imagine him doing that after going down on you." And thus led to me writing this filthy one shot. Enjoy my fellow sinners. ;)

A/N: I did have a title card on this, but it's too explicit for tumblr's guidelines. If you would still like to see it let me know and I'll send it to you a different way. My apologies that I can't post it here.

"Thank god this day's almost over," you mumbled to yourself, kicking the door shut behind you.

It had definitely been one hell of a day. You slept through your alarm, traffic made you even later to work, you spilled your morning coffee all over your new jacket, and to top it all off you dropped your phone into a puddle. Yeah, today could fuck right the hell off. 

You tossed your car keys into the bowl on the table by the door and kicked your heels off. All you wanted to do was take a long hot bath and cuddle with your boyfriend.

It felt too good to be true whenever you remembered you were in a romantic relationship with a famous actor, but here you were, living the dream.

Chris Evans bumped into you on the sidewalk, catching you before you hit the ground, nearly two years ago. It was like one of those sappy rom coms. Guy runs into the girl, the guy catches the girl as she literally falls for him, the girl gives him her number, and they live happily ever after.

You still couldn't believe Chris fucking Evans was interested in you, but you thanked fate that he continued to be the one you woke up to every morning. 

"Honey? Is that you?"

His smooth Boston accent echoed through the house bringing you back to reality.

"Yeah, baby, it's me."

You draped your jacket over the back of the couch and headed up the stairs to your shared bedroom.

"Come here. I wanna show you so-." Chris stopped mid-sentence, a letter opener hanging loosely from his lips.

You stood in the doorway and raised an eyebrow quizzically. "What? Is there something on my face?"

He blinked slowly, dragging his eyes from your curled hair to your red button-up blouse, the form-fitting pencil skirt hugging your hips, and finally down to your bare feet.

"Fuck, I swear I'm the luckiest man in the goddamn universe."

He climbed off the bed and stalked toward you, a primal hunger in his stormy blue eyes. You didn't have a chance to respond, he was on you in seconds.

Chris slammed his mouth against yours in a bruising kiss, one of his large hands making its way up the back of your neck and into your hair.

"Baby," your hands rested against his chest, "what's gotten into you?"

He smirked against your lips. "Nothin', sweetheart. However, there's gonna be something in you here in a minute." He gave you a sinful wink.

"Christopher!" You shook your head and swatted his shoulder playfully.

He chuckled, trailing kisses along your neck while attempting to unbutton your shirt. "Can't blame me when you look like this…so fuckin' pretty, baby. Just wanna taste you."

Chris growled impatiently, "goddamn buttons…fuck it!" He ripped the thin fabric easily, scattering them in all different directions.

"Ah! Hey! That was my favorite shirt, ya know." You tried to sound angry, but the way he continued to kiss and lick at your pulse point made your voice breathy.

"I'll buy you another one. Shit, I'll buy you two hundred if you'll let me fuck your sweet pussy with my mouth." 

You let out a sinful moan, hands fisting in his short blonde hair as he kissed down your chest. "Oh, god…yes, fuck yes, please whatever you wanna do to me…'m yours."

Chris unzipped your skirt with his teeth, and you felt yourself getting wetter by the second. He pulled it down your legs and helped you step out of it, leaving you in just your white lace bra and panty set. It was one of his favorites and you didn't miss the low groan he made.

His eyes drank you in, a needy whimper falling from your lips. "Please touch me…"

Chris wet his lips, sliding his calloused hands up your thighs to your ass. "Oh, princess, I'm gonna do way more than touch you."

He pushed your legs apart, licking and sucking love bites into your inner thighs.

"Fuck, oh my god, baby please… please I-I need more… Chris, I need more!"

He gave a warning slap to your ass, his mouth continuing its assault just shy of where you wanted him the most. "I'll decide what you need, Y/N." 

Your hand gripped the door frame and you bit your lip as he pushed your panties to the side.

"Jesus, sugar…fuckin' soaking wet. Can't wait to have you come apart over and over again just from my mouth. Wanna hear you make those pretty sounds. Love the way you scream my name, baby."

You swore his words alone could make you come. It was no secret that Chris loved going down on you, and he was damn good at it too.

"Please…"

He finally gave in, hooked your right leg over his shoulder, and held you still as he delved his tongue between your folds.

"Oh-my-fu-! Chris!"

He moaned, his tongue moving back and forth between your clit to your hole expertly. You tried to roll your hips but his grip on you held you right where he wanted you. Chris dipped his tongue inside you, your legs beginning to shake as he devoured you.

"Oh, fuck….fuck-fuck-fuck! Chris! Feels so good! So fuckin' good…please don't stop!"

He slapped your ass again, moving back to wrap his lips around your clit.

"Oh, shit! Oh, shit I'm gonna cum...gonna-cum-oh-my-god!"

Chris locked eyes with you, his tongue flicking your sensitive bud, and the moment he took it between his teeth you lost it. The coil of arousal inside you snapped like a rubber band. He groaned, taking everything you gave him until it got to be too much and you pushed him away.

"Mmm, can never get enough of you, honey. Taste so fuckin delicious." 

Chris stood up and carried you to the bed, laying you down gently on the duvet. "Gonna need you to do that again for me, Y/N. M'still not satisfied."

You looked up at him with wide eyes, "Baby, I… I don't think I can do that again. M'too sensitive."

He got down on his knees and hooked his arms under your thighs pulling you to the edge of the bed. "Oh, I bet you can, doll. Bet you can give me at least three more."

"Three?! Chris, I don't think th-holyfuckingshit!"

He brought his head back between your legs and shoved his tongue inside of you while his hands pinned your hips to the bed.

"Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! OH, FUCK! Chris! Chris, baby, please… please I- oh-my-god yes, right there!"

The combination of his thumb on your clit, his tongue reaching places inside you that you didn't know existed, and his beard hair rubbing against your skin made your vision go white. Your back arched off the bed, the sheets tangling between your fingers as you felt your release gush onto the bed. 

Chris stood and lay next to you, pulling you on top of him as he watched you gasp for breath. "That was the hottest fuckin' thing I've ever seen you do, Y/N. Fuck, I almost came in my pants like a teenage boy."

He lifted his hips, his jean-covered cock brushing your clit making you shiver. "Feel that? Feel how fuckin' hard my cock is, princess? Just wanna fuck you into this mattress and fill you full of my cum."

"Please," you whimpered, "do it, baby. Want you to fuck me so bad."

He kissed you sweetly, the taste of you still on his lips. "Oh, I plan to, sweetheart. I'm gonna fuck you on every piece of furniture in this house, but first," he tapped your left leg, "I want you to sit on my face."

Your moan put every porn star to shame, as you positioned yourself over his head. "Chris, are you sure about this? I mean, how're you gonna breathe?"

He chuckled, "listen, sugar, if I die from having the best thing I've ever tasted smothering my face then oh well. I'll die happy."

Chris didn't waste another second, any rational argument you had disappeared as he pulled you down against his open mouth.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ! Baby, it's too much! Fuck, I can't...I, oh, shit… shit, fuck, oh, GOD!" 

Chris lifted you off him, giving you a brief moment to breathe. "Princess, now that I know you can squirt, I'm hooked. So, you're gonna be a good girl and do it again. Understand?"

You let out a strangled cry as he resumed his assault on your soaked pussy.

"Ch-Chris! Baby, I-..."

Your hands fisted in your hair as your legs shook violently, his hands gripping your ass like a lifeline. The hot spark of arousal coursed through you, straight to your core like a lightning bolt. Chris dipped his tongue into your soaked hole, spreading your wetness to your clit before doing it all over again.

"Oh, baby, just like that...fuck please… please, don't stop! Shit, right there! Oh, fuck right there, oh-my-god- I'm- Chris I'm cumming…Oh my g-CHRIS!"

If he wasn't holding you up you would have collapsed. The force of your third orgasm coated Chris’s face with your release. 

Once you were able to gather your bearings again, Chris had already stripped the rest of his clothes off and was kissing you like he needed you to survive. He cradled you in his arms and hovered over you, smiling at your blissed-out state.

"You alright there, honey?"

You nodded, licking your lips and staring up at the smug look on his face.

"Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I just made you squirt twice with my mouth alone. Pretty impressive, right?"

You giggled and booped his nose. "Very impressive, indeed. Sometimes I think they really did give you that super soldier serum."

He laughed and kissed your lips. "Mmm, I dunno...maybe they did. I think," he pressed his thick cock against your entrance, "we should find out."

You bit your lip. "Show me what you got, Cap." 

Chris buried himself inside you in one smooth motion, both of you moaning loudly. "Christ, sugar, you hear how fuckin' wet you are? Can feel you squeezin' me…fuck. I know you got one more baby. Gimme one more. Wanna feel you soak my cock."

Your eyes rolled back in your head when he pulled out and slammed back in, the feeling of your velvet walls spurring him on. Chris set a brutal pace, fucking you hard and deep, and when the blunt head of his cock hit your spot you screamed.

"Chris! Chris, oh my god! Fuckkk! Harder baby! Don't stop!"

His big hands pulled the white lace of your bra down exposing your tits. He wrapped his lips around one nipple, his fingers rolling the other one deliciously.

"Fuckin' perfect, Y/N…so fuckin' beautiful. Seein' you writhe under me, knowin' I make you feel this good, god baby you're a dream. I know you're close, love. The way your pussy's gripping me like a vice, mmm it's so fuckin' good. C'mon, baby. Come for me, come all over my cock, Y/N." 

His thrusts were relentless, and the moment his right hand wrapped around your throat you dug your nails into his back.

"That's it, fuck, yeah, that's it. Shit, baby, I'm gonna cum...gonna fill you up, sweetheart. Let go, pretty girl. Fuck! Gonna cu-AH!"

Chris came hard, thick ropes of cum coating your walls, just as you felt yourself come all over him, yourself, and the bedsheets. You couldn't move if you tried, your limbs felt like jelly and your breaths came in pants.

Chris trailed a string of open-mouthed kisses from your chest, along your neck, and finally planted a chaste one on your lips. "Baby, you're incredible. Fuck, that was amazing…"

He slowly pulled out of you and grabbed his t-shirt from the floor. "I'll be gentle, honey."

He was mindful of how sensitive you were as he slowly cleaned you up. Once he was finished, he scooped you up and carried you to the living room. He sat down on the couch and held you close to his chest, stroking your hair.

"Mmm, love you, Chris."

He tilted your head back and kissed you sweetly. "I love you too, honey."

You nuzzled into the crook of his neck and sighed happily. "M'gonna sleep right here, kay?"

He laughed and ran his fingertips down your back lightly. "Alright, baby. I'm waking you up in an hour though."

"Why?" You groaned.

Chris rested his hand on your ass and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Well, I figured we'd start on the couch, then move to the dining room table, and end the night with you on the kitchen counter."

You rolled your eyes, pulling back to give him an incredulous look.

You're insatiable.

[kamurocho-lullaby]

So I was planning to go through and pretty this up but I just haven't had the energy so I'm just gonna dump them here.

These are my notes from my first time watching the Yakuza movie!

I've added a cut because they're long. There's typos, they're not edited, it's literally just chaos bullet points but tadaaaah. There's also a lot of cussing, swearing, whatever u call it, so sorry.

Date is just so fuckin done with the Tokyo PD's shit I love him.

Throwing down in a Don Quixote, yes Kiryu.

WAIT IS THIS STARDUST! IS THAT FUCKIN YUYA?! IT IS AND KAZUKI TOO!

Wait who's this little shit bleeding in Kazuki's floor?

Kiryu's fight in the DQ reminds me of that gif of him fucking up a Poppo it's so good.

HOLY SHIT ITS MILENNIUM TOWER! I sure hope that doesn't explode.

HERE HE IS! Mr Tumblr Sexyman himself.

WHY ISNT HE SHIRTLESS COWARDS

I can't get over the fact Majima supposedly reads the financial times

"where's Kiryu?" "Somewhere" "not good enough" *murder*

I love the idea that Majima is at the batting cages so often it's his office. Like he absolutely painted that sign himself what a dork.

This chick is insane and wants to go robbing stores when a Yakuza war is breaking out, side story material

Date is so fuckin done literally said "not my Division"

AAAAAHHHHHH ITS HARUKA!!!!

Kiryu seems a lot colder in this movie than he is in the games idk maybe he'll warm up

Who is this cocktail making silent man I am so confused

Why is Kazuki so hot?!

THEYRE ROBBING A PORK BOWL SHOP WHAT THE FUCK

Majima and crew are goofy as fuck and I really love them literally everyone is scared of them it's fucking hilarious

HE CALLS HIS CREW KIDDIES and then ditches them to get his rocks off in a video store and the guy he beaned with a fuckin baseball in his own crew is like "ILL FOLLOE U TO THE ENDS OF THE ESRTH"

This man is goofy as fuck one second and then breaking fingers and toes to find his boyfriend the next

DUDE HES PAYING THIS KID WITH PAIN WTF I wanna be this kid wtf

Oh fuck he's got a gun, nobody should allow Majima a gun

HIS CREW KNOWS THE DEAL THEY'RE ALL HANDS UP DONT SHOOT ME BOSS I LOVE YOU

Literally the Majima fam have a "oh fuck the boss has got a gun" emergency plan

I just noticed he's wearing a studded belt omg

Kiryu needs more frown lines

OHHHH DADS MEET AGAIN

Haruka got some sass I love her

"don't be corrupting her mind" what the fuck Date he found her like that

Majima was fuckin up Pink Street why didn't he go karaoke

Lol the guy at Ebisu Pawn gives zero shits about being robbed

Kiryu, Haruka and the dog make a cute picture I love it

Fuckin Majima isn't even like looking for intel he's just wandering around shouting about Kiryu-chaaaaaaaan

Lol Kiryu gets a flip phone and it's got a charm on it omg

"over the top shit is his trademark" you don't fuckin say

LOL DATE he's just like Kiryu and Majima are up to shit it's your fuckin problem I'm out "the military won't even save your asses" omg

Don't tell me the fuckin Jingweon are here I don't wanna fuckin deal with thaaaaaaat

"Yokohama's Lau Kalong" WAIT WHAT (having learned more about 7, YES that Lau Kalong apparently the Snake Flower Triad are a bunch of assholes and they're also like everywhere)

Oh fuck this kid's been sent to kill Kyohei Jingu?! no shit of course he has

Oh fuck SERENA I didn't think we'd see that in this movie

Lol Kiryu knows the RGG way, they ain't dead until you see a body and even then cough cough Kashiwagi cough cough

Lol Haruka teaching him to use a cellphone

Majima taking a break from getting his ass kicked by Kiryu to beat up his boys is so fuckin funny

Haruka's just on the sidelines like "these fuckin dumbass boys smh"

I'm sad it's not his lacquered tanto

Yo Kiryu is fuckin merciless what?!

LOL HE JUST FUCKIN DROPPED Kiryu is so done with his dumbass boyfriend flopping on the groud

Lol all the Yakuza in Kamurocho mobilising like the fuckin Avengers

LOL the bank robbers feeding everyone in the bank is just wild I love it, still can't figure out who they are tho (they're side story material)

LOL ALL OF MAJIMAS GUYS CRAMMED IN AN AMBULACE

How is Majima MORE unhinged in this movie than he is in the games

Theatre square! Honestly the shots in this movie are actually pretty good, im surprised

The Jingweon's gun is a monstrosity why the fuck

Is that supposed to be Shimano?

Kazuki getting all intimidating with the weapons dealer do be kinda hot tho why he gotta grab him by his chin like thst

Also why does Kiryu know this guy and why does he know he's a massochist?!

LOL Kiryu protecting Haruka from the creep but like why is she there?!

Kiryu hearing all this shit about his kyoudai and he's just like... Stomping around like a mad man

Wait is Kazuki an imposter yet? (Spoiler alert, probably)

Lol these idiots cleaning up Pink Street like Majima isn't just gonna whirlwind through it again

"Don't fall for hosts, they'll get you in the end" solid advice Kiryu but are u talking from experience or? Like iirc hosts weren't a thing when u went to jail my man.

What the fuck is this dramatic military shit what who is this man?!

FUCKIN MAJIMA IN THE "BATHOUSE"

Kiryu actually trusts Majima to not go after Haruka! And he doesn't! He's actually genuinely not a bad man he's just mad as a bag of cats

Oh that whole Majima and Kiryu not killing people thing is out the window in this movie omg

"Kiryu-chan, you're so cool" Majima says through a mouthful of blood after he's been knocked fuckin cold onto his ass. This man has it so bad I love it

THE MAJIMA PEEPING AROUNF THE HALLWAY SCENE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

Fuckin Majima just pelting Kiryu in the gut with baseballs omg this movie is wild

FUCKIN HIS BAT GOT STUCK IN THE WALL OMG

Dude these guys literally kick the shit out of each other it's vicious I love it

The level of choreographed homoerotic whump in this movie

He just straight up put his foot on his ass

WHAT THE FUCK MAJIMA GET UR DICK OUT OF HIS FACE

SOMEBODY SHOT MY MAJIMA!!!!!

KAZAMA SHOT MY MAJIMA!!!!!

"Fuck you murder dad you shot my boyfriend"

OH THE GANGS ALL HERE ITS DATE

Wait do I get to see Nishiki?!

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOES NISHIKI LOOK LIKR THST

WILL EVERYONR PLEASE STOP GETTING SHOT!!!!

The fuckin Staminan X and shit in the shop that's so rad, of course Kiryu is like I'll just chug some of this shit and go fuckin kill my bro I'm fine

THE TATTOO THAT WAS A FUCKIN RAD REVEAL

Oh hey it's Zombie Majima

Who allowed a military helicopter into fuckin Kamurocho airspace that's gotta be so illegal what the fuck

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE BANK ROBBERS I love how they're just laying on the floor with the staff resigned to their shit

Nishiki put the fish away you dumb fuck

Lol Kiryu literally doesn't give a fuck about the Tojo and here's Nishiki making it all about the Tojo like bro wise up Kiryu is done with your shit

Kiryu just stone cold dead until he gets some of that Staminan that's a full triple heat gauge baby the dragon is back omg this movie is the dumbest shit I love it

The fuckin slow mo! 2007 did not deserve this movie

Top ten ways to kill your kyoudai, number 12 will jack your dad!

Wait we're not gonna get Mr "Beautiful Eyes" here are we?

Akiyama come get ur cash!!!!

Moooooom, Millennium Tower blew up again!

Y'know Date is kinda hot...

Suzuki also has no business being that hot

Fuckin Majima's dumbass batting cages sign someone better save his ass I swear to fuck

Fuckin dumbass got shot and he thinks he's got the flu lol

WHY IS THE DOG IN MILENNIUM TOWER?!?! WHAT THE FUCK KIRYU?!

Oh shit there's Kiryu oops guess he's not to blame for the dog

Question, how the fuck they gonna get down from the tower?

Oh my god okay it's done I'll clean this up later (spoiler alert, he did not clean it up later)

[fktonofwhatnow]

ok hold on. acomaf is my fave book out of the whole series (it's mostly out of emotional value, i read it when i was younger and didn't have a real understanding out trauma and abuse only that i saw a character i loved getting out of a bad situation and getting happy) so obviously i didn't mind feysand being endgame and the development all of the characters had. i can accept tamlin turned out like that is realistic due to his trauma, i can accept feyre had to flee because it wasn't right for her, but the thing is after acofs i see no point to feyre leaving tamlin when rhysand ends up doing everything they told us tamlin was evil and unredeemable for. hiding the risks of her pregnancy, putting on shields on her, having feyre need to compromise over it. i honestly felt so betrayed by that. i'm not saying feyre and tamlin were good for each other, but it doesn't feel worth it to dismiss the potential they had for what we got with feysand.

also, sarah learn to treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge. no they don't need to learn to physically fight to fight it. no they don't need a love interest to overcome it. yes the behaviors acquired from trauma and abuse aren't pretty but that doesn't mean a person is undeserving of kindness and compassion.

i think i had a point somewhere but i can't get to it. so hope you don't mind my rambling. anyway i loved your meta about tamlin i think he deserves better too

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS SO GOOD OK IM SO EXCITED

Bro you are so fine, I'm the one who doesn't make any sense and I totally get what you're trying to say. (Acomaf was actually my favorite book in the series too ngl)

BUT FUCK YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT RHYSAND.

I don't think it's a secret that Rhysand is one of my least favorite characters in media, probably ever? (How do I even put this into words) He is a bad character and to me, laughably so. You know how if you've ever written a character, there's that little phase that's like "what if people don't like this character' and then you're sad for a little bit? That's how Rhysand feels to me. He feels like SJM looked at this character and thought "I can't stand the thought of people not liking this character because I love him so much" and then did everything in her power to make sure we know how great he is.

Idk if this is just me screaming into the void, but I get to this place with my characters where like, especially if they are a little more morally gray or their decisions have negative impacts, I understand that I don't need the audience to like my main character. they can stand on their own, they can own up to what they do and they can grow from it. Thats what a good character does. That's how you keep your audience rooting for them. You gotta knock them over sometimes.

SJm doesn't knock Rhysand over. She doesn't push him to make mistakes, apologize, own up and move on. Rhysand has never made a decision that ended poorly for him. Everything goes the way he wants it to, because SJm wants us to know how cool and great he is. People who are cool and great don't make bad decisions! SJm doesn't let Rhysand fail, and she doesn't let him suffer his own decisions. Everyone else suffers his decisions, not him.

Rhysand's reputation as a good person hinges entirely on the audience liking him and/or thinking he's hot. And then what happens when the audience thinks neither of those things? Ya get a rly long post like this by a lil enby who is mad all the time. Rhysand loses all credibility when you look at him through a critical lens. Not a single thing the man does makes any goddamn sense. Here I thought acosf would give us a different perspective on Feysand and I was desperately hoping that Nesta would tell us what she really sees in them and how people around them really feel, I hoped that SjM would throw us for a loop and tell us that hey, she does know that Feysand are fucking toxic as hell and ruin the lives of people around them and she wants to show us that from an outside perspective but noooOoOOOoOoOOOO...

Instead we get Nesta hating herself because Rhysand told her that she shouldn't tell Feyre that Feyre could uh die in childbirth. Hey what the fuck.

Now I don't actually ship feylin, I kinda always sorta knew, even without spoilers, that it wasn't going to work out. Tamlin isn't sjm's idea of a good partner because he's not charming and witty and dark and handsome ya know? We met Rhysand and I knew that I was going to fucking hate this romance. Which sucks because I found Rhysand so intriguing in the first book. Ngl all the time spent in the spring court was kinda boring and every time Rhysand showed up to throw dead faeries at Tamlin I was like "oooooo" and I wanted to know more about why Tamlin, this awkward, blunt and kinda shy dude had beef with this super duper sly and shady man from another court.

I don't know if I've ever said this before, but SJm doesn't let her love interests grow. Rhysand doesn't change over the course of the story because he was already a good guy and his motives were for Feyre's sake I swear, the same goes for Rowan in TOG. SJm doesn't give Rhysand room to change. She needs to get to the part where they fuck make sure everyone knows that Rhysand is a good guy and actually he was good all along so that we like him more than Tamlin. It backtracks on everything bad Rhysand has ever done because you know... He had a good reason! It's fine!

I know it's probably just because SJm doesn't actually know how to write a good character growth arc but... Like can you imagine if Rhysand stayed the bad guy? Or at least remained the bad guy through acotar and acomaf? And then when Rhysand comes to take Feyre for his bargain it really was only to spite Tamlin? What about Rhysand, taking Feyre to the night court with him once a week every month for a long time, if only to see Tamlin's eyes grow darker and emptier every time he goes, and then he really starts to fall in love with Feyre. He's been a monster all this time, angry and cold and cruel and then he actually starts to fall in love. And then to get Feyre to stay he really does try to change, he stops antagonizing Feyre, he stops throwing dead faeries at Tamlin, and he stops harassing the Spring court. He starts spending genuine quality time with Feyre, he starts to learn about her and all the things she likes and he stops trying to get her to come with him just so Tamlin will be mad. He starts asking her to come with him because he wants to be around her and he prays that someday she'll want to be around him too. What if SJm let him grow.

But nahhhhhh instead we have a character who always knows the right answer to things, and he always knows how to fix every issue, and he is always so innovative and outside the box except that he isn't. We get a character who does the same shit as Tamlin but it's ok because he had a good reason not to tell Feyre that she could very well die in childbirth. Uhhhh don't know what that is but uhhh I know he has his reasons because all he has are his reasons.

It would be so easy to hold a mirror up to Rhysand and say "look at this. Look who you are. Do you not look just like Tamlin right now?"

But nooooooooOoOOOo Rhysand doesn't get to be wrong. Rhysand doesn't get to look like Tamlin because Tamlin is evil and Rhysand is definitely NOT I SWEAR.

But yeah I think the point I'm trying to make is that Sarah thinks so highly of Rhysand that he could never do wrong. He could never be like Tamlin, despite the narrative literally telling us the exact opposite.

Like you said, we lost the potential of what feylin could have been if SJm didn't suddenly decide that her audience needs to love Rhysand as much as she does. I think feylin could have been slow and sweet and a story of true healing and learning about one another. I think it would have been kind and steady and lots of "are you ok"s and "I'm sorry"s and "talk to me"s. Everything about Feysand feels rushed and hard and fast and the rest of the world doesn't have time to catch up. It's fucking exhausting to read it ya know what I'm saying.

(also can we talk about Rhysand like dying and Feyre finding the suriel and learning he's her mate and then instead of being like "k let's put a pin in that and fuckin save his life first" she like throws him around and everyone is like "wtf woman" and she's like I neeD tO Be alOnE these people have no idea how to prioritize)

Truly, I think it's innocent to a degree. There is absolutely no harm in wanting people to like your character. The harm comes when you destroy another character with no reason or explanation other than you want people to like a different character. Villain arc? Completely out of left field. You gotta build to that shit or like... Make it so that when you look back you slap your forehead and yell at a wall "OF FUCKING COURSE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT"

anyways, SJm treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge SECONDED.

WELL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WEEKS YO WRITE IM HAVING A HARD TIME I know it probably doesn't make any sense I can't find my braincells BUT thanks for the ask @xelly

Tell me all your acotar things I love yo hear them !!

[bernadette-baguette]

dumb stuff I've said

•"my body tries to hypothermia me so I'll hypothermia it and see how my body likes it when I call the shots"

•"I can't promise anything I might get sucked outside again"

•"i was pissed so I took a walk all the way to coldstone"

•"kill that bitch and scooby-dooby-doo his ass"

•"I burnt my finger on a hot bowl because I thought my hands would be cold enough to make me immune to the heat"

•"I'm joking man lmao China owns what they do, I'm just not a fan of sending photos like gunfire"

•"it was open note and my dumb ass managed to bomb it with a 77.5"

•"If it's cold and I'm bundled up my body will hypothermia me"

•"actually u gotta put them a certain way; child support, then taxes"

•"I happen to have rlly good luck with my car, I've come close to being hit or hitting someone a few times, but luck's on my side!"

•"I had so much cool stuff bro but here's the thing half of my house is somewhere in the world.. it's out there "

•"according to you I'm a nerdy jock"

•"I dunno what the fuck my body is doing with these one-day pain parties"

"for a person who hates pie, I make a good pie."

•"so, there I was, bent over, with my flashlight but aimlessly tapping my hands in the grass looking for my ring in front of an Outback while Nick Jonas' "Jealous" was blaring."

•"modern times cannot force me to conform, I am getting more vintage by the minute."

•"I'm uncultured to this culture."

•"what if I turn my phone's clock ahead by a week? my shoes'll get here faster!!"

•"yes I am I lack common common sense and I am zoned in the 70s-90s"

•((bisexual panic intensifies))

•"high school's stressful and if someone wants to make fun of me for my damn light up shoes, go ahead, but I will automatically be 420% cooler than them bc I can just turn em on and moonwalk my ass outta your negative vibe zone."

•"I can literally go to work and switch it my left hand and people will think I'm married lol"

•""how was your day madam?" ooooooh hit me right in the knees"

•"off topic, but my best analogy yet; "this is like ordering a pizza at your favorite pizza place; however, you get the wrong pizza! but, you can't be mad because it's your favorite pizza place!""

•"I swear I'm not a player but when you're single, ready to mingle and you're an idiot who takes 15 minutes in the candy isle, there's a problem."

•"this Airbnb does not have crayons. I feel it is imperative for every Airbnb to have crayons. I'm leaving a bad Yelp review for this Airbnb."

•"is it bad that RHCP plays in my head even when I'm not actually listening to them..?"

•"one day, someone's gonna come up to me while I'm scattabopping to RHCP's "can't stop" intro and they're gonna yank out my ear bud at just the right time and go, "when are you gonna shut the fuck up?" and the I'm gonna go, "can't stop, addicted to-""

•"daisy's verdict: it looked like a shit of armour. - suit! suit of armour!! auto correct!!"

•"I like to use Ryan Gosling pictures to convey my emotions."

•"so, again, if I'm not the funniest thing since sliced bread, you haven't lived."

•"Tessa, aka the Bitch of The Brady Bunch who just wouldn't stop hissing and growling at everyone. Dude, eat a Snickers or something."

•"Imagine having a baseball bat named "Stevie Fuckin' Wonder Pets""

• "Coral bleaching is caused by white supremacy-"

• "I wanna smell like a snicker doodle!"

•"yanno what's better than perfume? lotion. lotion is subtle, you gotta get close to smell it... and then.. When they least expect it.. boom broken neck."

•"shut up! shut up! you didn't see me in the preteen girls bra section of Walmart! you didn't!"

•"Steven, if you don't shut the fuck up, you're about to be a scared pog."

•"yes, I socialized today. my friend got me a Christmas gift: scarves. that I promptly choked myself with. "Oh! Just what I wanted!" *rushedly ties scarf around throat and tightens* "yay!""

•"c'mon guys! This is simple brain knowledge! Same for your hands! Hand knowledge!"

•"very funnies. I have unfortunately adopted a very unhealthy addiction to Welch's fruit snacks. I ate so many packs that Vincent told me I smelled like them."

•"my dad said he was gonna give me some cigars. They were top tier, too, bro. Suddenly, poof, he leaves yet again."

•"this is likely the size I shall retain for the rest of my days. I have one superpower, scaring the shit outta people with my cold-ass hands."

•"baby you can roll me up into a cigar ;)"

•"got an older guy hitting on you? hit him with this! "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, for legal reasons, that is a joke. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone of legal-age pleasefuckoffthankyouverymuch-""

•"I'm the teen embodiment of Anthony Kiedis, Johnny Knoxville, and George Carlin!"

"well, well, well, if it isn't the actions of the consequences of my actions."

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 10

Warning: swearing, duh, Ouija-boarding, BJ's trust issues

- Are we seriously gonna do this like we were in a goddamn Z category horror movie? - asked Ari, while she rubbed the bridge of her nose. The coffin-table in the living room was decorated with at least 10 huge white candles, and in the middle there was a grey Ouija-board with a bright pink planchette. Sof already dimmed the lights and now was sitting on the floor, legs in criss cross applesauce. Beetlejuice was floating above the coffee table, laughing his ass off at the inscription he read on the planchette: Hey there demons, it's me, ya boy.

- And it's coming from the weird sister... - commented Rei as she folded her hands before her chest. Sof let out an annoyed sigh.

- Shut up, it gives an eerie vibe to the whole thing! I've been dreaming about using this shit for years, let me live my dream guys! - Rei and Ari both looked at each other, sighed, then sit down. Beetlejuice stopped laughing, wipped his laughter-tear filled eyes and rolled over to his belly in the air, legs dangling, hands under his chin. He had a devilish smile on his face and bright, neon green hair, mixed with a couple strikes of yellow. Even though he was excited to communicate with all residents of the house, he was kinda worried the Ouija-board won't work. He's been existing for at least a couple hundred years at that point, but nobody ever tried communicating with him through one of those suckers.

As soon as the girls got comfortable, Sofía cleared her throat.

- Okay, I know Ari knows how to handle this bad boy since we bought it together and had quite a good time while we looked into the use of spirit boards, but I'd like to state some instructions and ground rules. - Ari, Rei and Beetlejuice both nodded in agreement. - Once we start the seance, non of us should lift our fingers off the planchette. If any of us do, it might cause some trouble in the ghostworld. Concentration is essential, so please focus on contacting the dead. We have to take this thing seriously and must act respectfully towards the board and the spirit we deal with, so no frivolous questions.

- PFFFFFF kay, partykiller. - said Beetlejuice as he floated closer to the board. The girls put their pointing fingers on the planchette, breathed out, and looked at each other.

Thoughts were running around in Ari's head. Was this really a good idea? I mean if we can contact our homedemon effectively, I could tell my sisters I could hear him and they won't think I'm crazy. That's why I thought of doing this. But why am I so afraid then?

- Okay so let's start the session by asking simple yes and no questions. - said Sofía, closed her eyes for a bit, then started to talk. She sounded really confident for Beetlejuice, but her sisters noticed how her voice cracked a bit. Was she only nervous, excited, or was she genuinely afraid of what she might contact? - Is anyone here with us? - the planchette didn't move. Sofi let out a huge breath and gulped. Beetlejuice put his pointing finger on the planchette and literally screamed when he realized he could actually touch it. - Channeling the dead isn't easy so it might take some minutes to...

As soon she said that, Beetlejuice moved his finger, and literally yeeted the planchette across the room.

- FUCK I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT!!! - he screamed in a rather girly manner. Rei jumped up from the coffin-table and shook her head.

- That not normal man, a ghosty ghost couldn't do that in any horror movie! - Ari got up too and went to get the planchette. Beetlejuice floated before her.

- Sorry babes, I swear I'll be more gentle next time. Even though I know you looove wild stuff. - Ari replied with an eyeroll as she bowed down for the tiny pink thing. - Holy shit sugar I could imagine several hot scenarios with you in this position.

Ari headed back to the table and put the planchette down.

- Let's continue. - Rei sit back, fixing her glasses and putting her hair up in a messy ponytail. Ari looked at the planchette as she speak the words. - Could you please confirm that you're here? - Beetlejuice, as lightly as he could, put his finger on the pink thingie and moved it to YES.

- NAH MAN THAT'S CRAZY NA-AH I'M OUT! - shouted Rei and started to stand up.

- SIT YOUR ASS BACK DOWN PUTA! - shouted Ari back at her sister. - You said amen to this shit, we're gonna go through with it now. - Beetlejuice chuckled as Rei sit back down with the most panicked look on her face that he had ever seen. He tapped the planchette slightly.

- L-E-T-S-A-L-L-G-E-T-N-A-K-E-D. - Ari let out the the biggest laugh Beetlejuice heard yet. She snapped her head back as she squeaked like a degenerated seal while snorting. - OhmygodslashSatan your bursting laugh is so weird, I love it! - said Beetlejuice with a high voice and full on glowing hair.

- You did that. - stated Sofía, looking at Ari seriously.

- No way José! - she still giggled like crazy as she looked back at her oldest sister. - Looks like our presence is just nasty! - Sofía had a very annoyed and slightly angry expression on her face.

- ANYWAY, no, we are not going to do that.

- W-O-R-T-H-A-T-R-Y. - spelled the board. Sofía threw her hands in the air, annoyed out of words to express her feelings. Rei clicked her tongue.

- What happened to the "don't let go of the planchette" rule? - she asked.

- Shut up. - explained Sofía. She put her fingers back on the pink object before she stated the next question. - Are you a spirit guide? - the planchette moved to NO. - Then are you a ghost? - the planchette moved to NO again. Sofía shook her head in a way people do when they don't understood something.

- Did you ever live on Earth as a human? - asked Rei who calmed herself down enough to ask questions.

- B-R-I-E-F-L-Y-V-E-R-Y-B-R-I-E-F-L-Y. - Sof interrupted with her next question. Something really bugged her.

- Okay then WHAT are you?!

- S-E-X-Y - the girls all threw their hands up. They shared a look, all stating "I can't even" with their eyes. Without either of them touching the planchette, it started to move again on its own. - A-L-S-O-D-I-S-L-E-X-I-C. - Rei snorted.

- This bitch is a fuckin comic. - Sof growled in annoyement.

- No I mean what's in your pants? - she asked. Now neither of them was touching the board. And after a couple of seconds, the board answered.

- M-A-G-I-K-A-N-D-M-I-S-C-H-I-F. - Ari facepalmed, Sofía huffed.

- I can't believe that this thing is fuckin with us... - Beetlejuice could literally see the veins on her neck bulging in anger as he spelled HAHAHA out on the board. She slammed her fists on the table. - NO. TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE, SMARTASS!!!

- I-M-Y-O-R-G-U-I-D-E-T-O-T-H-E-O-T-H-E-R-S-I-D-E.

- Kay that's definitely a demon. - she stated with a huge hand gesture.

- Shit we're busted babe. - said Beetlejuice, sounding a tiny bit worried. Ari gulped.

- Why would you think that? - she asked, acting all naive. Sof pointed at the planchette, which was now moving up and down in the air since Beetlejuice was playing catch with it.

- Cause demonic spirits enjoy using deception and being a dick!

- What a keen observation, Sofía! - stated Beetlejuice, talking sarcastically. - That's built into our nature, you know!

- Let's just... - Sofía sighed midsentence. - ...stop.

- No! This is fun! - proclaimed Ari with the biggest puppy eyes. Classic smallest child trick.

- We are unprepared to deal with dark and negative forces that can wreak havoc in our lives!

- Sofía, let's be frank with each other, he already causes a lot of trouble. - Sof huffed. - At least let me ask his name. - said Ari in a sweet voice with a shy smile. - That would be the polite thing to do. - her eldest sister tried to say something but Ari stifled her speech. - Just one question. Then we can stop.

- That was a son of a bitch thing to do, and you know it. Tricking your sister into letting me tell you my name... That's low babes. - said Beetlejuice while folding his hands and shaking his head, floating next to Ari. - I'm so proud.

- UGH FINE! - said Sofía, while throwing her head back. - Little Miss Pushover. - Ari flashed a toothy grin. That was her moment. She already had a plan how'd she persuade her sisters to accept his offer of helping them out a bit and to say the demon's name 3 times. She cleared her throat and breathed out before she stated her question.

- What is your name?

Beetlejuice breathed in in excitement and grabbed the planchette.

- Welp let's hope it's gonna work this way. Here goes nothing. - the planchette started to move. - B-E-E-J-F-Q-J-E-S-U-S-I-C-A-N-T-S-P-E-L-L-S-H-I-T. - Ari sighed and Rei laughed. Come on Bug, don't be an idiot now!, thought Ari. The object started to slide on the board again. - B-E-E-T-L-E-J-U-I-C-E.

- OKAY GOOD NOW WE KNOW IT'S NAME CAN WE STOP PLEASE?!?! - shouted Rei as she reached for the planchette, but Sofía grabbed her hand.

- Wait. - with her other hand, she pointed at Ari. - Ariadné Rodríguez McLoughlin, you are suspicious, girl. Why did you want to know this demon's name so badly? - Fuck., thought Ari. She didn't think this through. She couldn't answer, she opened her mouth but no voice came out. - Demon, have you communicated with anyone from this group before tonight? - Beetlejuice fumbled through his hair.

- I'm sorry babes. But you wouldn't tell them about your superpower any other way. - he said before the planchette moved to YES. Sof looked straight into Ari's eyes. She hated that cold dead stare.

- Tell me who was it!

- A-R-I. - the oldest sister slapped the desk.

- Please I can explain... - said Ari in a shy, almost inaudible voice. Gosh things were not going the way she imagined they'd go.

- BITCH, I WILL SLAP YOU! - shouted Sofía, clapping after every word.

- Excuse me but... - cut in Rei. She mimicked a closing mouth with her hand. - ...tone! Let the girl speak for herself! - she turned to her sister. - So how long have you been talking with the dead, bitch? - Ari sighed, rolled her eyes then started to talk with very heavy hand movements.

- Let me state that I can only hear him, I've never seen him but we've been talking for weeks now and he's so awesome and funny! I mean he's actually a really nice guy to talk to!

- Ohmygod he's that special someone who's been making you feel better!!! - realized Rei who just slapped her forehead. Beetlejuice was floating beside Ari, giggling to himself. The whole situation was so comical.

- Yeah, we're buddies.

- FOR LYFE YO! - screamed Beetlejuice into Ari's ear.

- Why did I teach you how to use yo, seriously, this is getting out of hand... - she asked the thin air, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She was starting to get a headache.

- Wait you can hear him now? - asked Sofía with a jaw dropped.

- I can hear him all the time when he's near me... So yeah during every minute of the day, kinda. - she stopped for a sec. - You don't think I'm crazy, right?

- I mean we all saw what happened during the seance so nah fam, you good. Weird but good. Gee my sister is a comic book character! - proclaimed Rei excitedly. She even clapped.

- And what does he want? - asked Sofía. She calmed down a bit but her eyes were full of anger.

- Right now, and I quote him singing: "🎶I'm on the bench, but coach, just put me in the game! All you gotta do is say my name. Three times in a row it must be spoken, unbroken.🎶" - she mimicked Beetlejuice as good as she could, she even tried to do his voice. She looked at Rei, who almost had questionmarks for eyes. - Yes, he sounds like that all the time. Like he swallowed a cheesegrater, I know. - Rei nodded understandingly. Sof held her head.

- So he wants to be summoned. - she looked deep into Ari's eyes. She looked so serious. - You know we're not gonna do that, right?

- Why?! He promised he'd help us then just go away! - Sof shook her head but Ari continued. She sounded kinda desperate. - Just imagine, he could actually help us get revenge on our father for being such a prick with our moms! Just let me...

- No. - she stated. - In the Council of Sisters I vote no. - she looked at Rei. - Your vote now.

- Look I... - she sighed and looked at Ari whose eyes were now getting teary. She didn't want to tell her sisters how much she wanted to summon Beetlejuice, not because of his promise, but because how much she liked his company. She didn't have a friend like him in, why would I lie, ever, and she secretly craved his presence in her life. There was finally someone who totally accepted her as how she was, and now her sisters were robbing her of the opportunity of meeting him. - There are always a million reasons not to do something. - Ari covered her mouth with her right palm.

- No, not you, I thought you...

- Girl, we've been swimming with piranhas, we don't need a shark!

Beetlejuice was silent... until this point. He knew how arguments worked. How bloodyminded people were once they decided on something. His hair slowly turned from green to a purplish redish tone. His anger was building up and now it busted.

- And I thought you were special... Not like any other breather. - he spit between his teeth. Ari looked at his direction and shushed her sisters.

- Bug, what do you...

- YOU PROMISED YOU'D SUMMON ME! - screamed Beetlejuice. - YOU PROMISED BUT YOU WON'T! AND I TRUSTED YOU! - Ari stood up and stepped in his direction. She tried to sound calm but Beetlejuice's voice was so angry and frightening...

- Beetlejuice, I will, somehow, just...

- NO YOU WON'T! YOU'RE A LYING BITCH LIKE ANY OTHER HUMAN ON THIS GODDAMN PLANET! - he started to run while cussing at Ari. The girl ran after him, followed by her sisters. As soon as he got to the attic door, which the girls were unable to pry open, he floated through the door and laid head back to it. - I HATE YOU!

- You know that you don't and that that was uncalled for. - Ari sighed while trying to get the door to open. Rei asked if she needed an axe but she refused. - Please, this is hard enough as it is!

- Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart. - answered Beetlejuice in an annoyed way. - I just tend to get a little upset WHEN PEOPLE RUIN MY LIFE! - tears started to run down his cheeks. - FUCK YOU, GET LOST! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!

Beetlejuice heard that Ari stopped trying to open up the door. She sighed and put her hand on the hard wood.

- I'll talk to them. And I'll keep my promise. - her steps faded and as they did, Beetlejuice's hair turned fully dark purple as he started crying. He really trusted her... And he did get that she'd want her sisters to know that she'll summon a demon at their home but why would she betray him like that still? He sniffled to himself as he summoned a sockpuppet.

- 🎶You could use a buddy... Don't you want a pal?🎶 Yes I do! - he put his head on his knees, sniffling hard. - ...yes I do...

[dyker-farmer]

More bro fic.... angst fodder kind content.

Take that can away if you can

I never see Shane works that don't go all in for romance nor explore the more realistic ugly parts of recovery, and I kind of crave That TM. So let me have at it too with the self-insert whump mumbo jumbo; no romo version.

Set post-8 hearts event- not 10, jesus-, Farmer Uidelsib is two years or so in, full house built and married to Emily. They/them pronouns, same as me.

Diverges from then on, Shane-centric from an outside POV for the most part.

I also put it on Ao3.

[[MORE]]

A bitch bastard man and a bitch walk into a room... Chapter 1/2/3/4

"I think we should talk about this."

If the room was stifled before, this just causes the pin to drop, and the relative lull to shatter with it. I don't want a storm, but we can't pretend the sea's a slightly oversized pond if we want him not drowning in it- again, my mind supplies, unhelpful.

He's zoning out again, blurry eyes pointedly off me, preferring the turned-off TV.

Let's start easy. "Why did you come here, Shane?"

"I-I-" It sounds like an excuse building up and it bubbles out like a shaken can, "I don't- I shouldn't have-" he goes to up and leave, and we just can't have that.

I scrape my chair closer and grab his shoulder, same as before. Hopefully it's more placating than caging. "No, you should have. You did good. Seeking out, remember?"

He doesn't answer but stills.

"Like Dr.Campbell and Harvey said." I try again.

"Yeah… Yeah." Deep breathing. "I. Don't know." He searches for my face, not quite past the nose. I nod, ushering him on. "It's. Stupid." I frown and my eyebrow goes higher than before and he immediately doubles down. "I know- positiv' reinforchment and all that shit! But… It's hard." A tired hand wipes the most of moisture off his face, before it goes back to wriggle with the other on his lap. "It's so fuckin' hard. Didn't even last two seasons!-"

I cut him off. "Two seasons is a lot! One and a half too. Last time, you'd tried to go cold turkey on the spot. We know what that got us." Sea foam in the mouth and a shared cold in the early spring, on top of a Joja lawsuit. "Shit's hard, like you said. You lasted one and a half this time. Next time-"

"Why the fuck do you always think there's gonna be a next time."

This time, I still. My laidback demeanor mirror his, but so does the cold anger creeping in and tensing both our backs.

"Because. There is going to be a next time. And another after that. And another. Same way there's been next times before this one now."

What's left unsaid we don't touch.

All irritation floods from him like it's just pointless to keep it in anymore, and his forehead goes to thunk softly against the wooden surface he leaned on before. The table muffles his next words a little.

"I can't… keep doing that." I don't peep. "I can't keep rolling back down and then up and down, and up, and down. I- I just can't, Garcia- Uidel-"

"I'll drag you there." I shrug.

"But you shouldn't have to!" His voice raises and make the boards vibrate where his skin's still pressed. "You shouldn't have to-to fuckin'-" he sniffles, the following words drowned out in held-back sobs. "Fuck damn it, you- I said I- I wouldn't be a burden anymore!"

He's crying out loud now, open sorrow and no walls left. Out of all the things you could stick on the not-so amiable man sulking straight from bed to Jojamart to Stardrop Saloon to bed, you probably wouldn't think of "extreme scare of bothering anyone". Yet it's all here in how he collapses silently in the mattress, wake without a sound, keep his head down the whole time he crosses town, tries to merge himself in the fake-nice blue of the shelves at work, then corners himself right between the chimney and the bar on Emily's side, stuck in-between two sources of warmth that can never touch him unless he swings one way or the other. And he doesn't a lot, still keeping to himself strictly. You probably wouldn't think either of how dreamy he gets, hidden in his alcove but seeing everything from there.

When Harvey nerds out about classical, jazz and electro swing music down the bar to me, trying to catch me up on my fuzzy memories of arts history and the implications of breaking codes in the tempo and the leisure of each instruments; of how each note gets a specific response from the brain if done right, and can make up for caffeine deprivation in miraculous ways, when there are no more chances to push back the dread of midterms season at doctor school.

When Elliott, boisterous and drunk, arm-on-arm with an equally inebriated Leah, calls out to the whole place to hear out his latest soliloquy, and drags on the words too much, but with a voice that carries it well, all flamboyance and no limits, as his hair floats around him in a crown and he reigns over the room like a kind lion- Description all intoxicated words from your chicken man truly, not mine. I always get too caught up in the pendulum of Leah's braid and her crooked smile to quite appreciate his theatrics. But the recital rings clear, and everyone applauds the performance- because hey, you applaud a drunk guy showing off the prowess of not tripping a single word in a ten minutes tirade, but also because it really is that good! Everyone, even Shane, whose hands zipped to under his armpits the moment our eyes crossed and I met his pink cheeks with a clairvoyant smile.

Hey, what can I say. Dude's a sapiosexual. Hence why we'll never and cannot bang. That, and, uh, the being lesbian thing.

But all this is closed off and not for anyone to see behind see-through fogged windows, like those kitchen cabinets, when you can make out the piled plates all resting against the cold surface precariously, bound to crash and shatter the moment you open them.

It took a good wrecking ball of a fake-oblivious polite faced stranger and my incessant, hot pepper poppers-powered pestering, to even just crackles the glass.

The rest was all done out of his own volition. He can't see that because alcohol is a depressant, and guzzling it down leads to blurry concepts made softer always and pretty much lush in brain, and when he's off the thing, and that's rare, he instantly goes from not there to thinking he's everywhere, soiling everything and giving nothing.

His sobbing doesn't relent, and he whimpers issues of "trustworthy sack of shit", "not being worth the fucking shrink's money", "not being worth his aunt's troubles", "not being worth Jas". At some point he goes to grapple with his hair, and tugs brusquely once, then twice, then I have to reach for his wrist to make him stop, which he snatches back as soon as I make contact. But he doesn't grab anything to pull or pinch or punch again, so that's good. I stay on standby beside him, but don't touch him. He rasps more condemnations, struggles to breathe enough through the phlegm spreading in his respiratory system, and I start reenacting the steps to stop a hyperventilation in my head, and the first aid for choking, when he begins to cough violently, his entire frame upset with the movement.

He takes the tissue box i nudge with insistence toward him, and ends up spitting mouthfuls of mucus mixed with some bile in the basin under his feet. Most of it is clear and smells of fruits, not beer, so I'm not too worried. When I go to stabilize him by taking his shoulders, he grasps at my wrists to stop me- but let them stay here, while he clings. The tremors get to me now, and I remind myself that this is good, this is before the cliffs and him finding refuge to burst open, not glassily stare at the weeping clouds as he blabbers on the meaninglessness of his life.

This is… very alive.

I ought to be glad.

I let him come down at his rhythm, counting the pulses of his wrists as I feel mine numb with the blood circulation slowed down under his hold.

When he's back with a mind, I count to three, then let go. His arms flop back down, on his lap and hands dangling between his tighs. He blows his nose again.

"I'm so pathetic…"

"Yeah sure, and I'm a serial prom queen."

Instead of jabbing back and forth, we get interrupted by a soft mewling. Both of us turn to the door, that's opened slightly to let in Eryza, the pitter-patter of her paws on the stone flooring the only sound for a moment…

As we both stare in revulsion at her jaw, a single line of vomit dripping of it.

Shane puts his head down in shame, not even having the strenght to hide further.

"Sorry."

"Nah, 's okay. She's already trash, anyway."

Eryza edges closer and rapidly tour around our legs- going back to Shane's feet twice, her whiskers tickling his exposed ankles. Purring loudly, she completely ignore my chastizing as I threaten to make her diet periwinkle-based to counter-act her literal potty mouth, and she scampers to do who-knows-what in the rooms.

"Your vibes are rancid, do you hear me?? Rancid, girl!" I call after her. "I swear to Yoba, Shane, your aunt might as well have brought me a raccoon."

Turning back to him, I can see the short-lived humor of the situation was, well, short-lived. I sigh.

It's late. We're both tired. Tomorrow is sunday. It's cool. We've got time.

I don't sit back down right away. First, I put a hand down on the nape of his neck, that slides to the top of his scalp, right where he'd tug. My quota, remember?

He sniffles some, a few teardrops make their way to the planks, unheard. We stay like this for a moment.

He doesn't shake me off, but in the slow tandem his body takes, rocking lightly from back to forth, I can tell it's enough, for now.

I sit back down on my chair.

I lean on the hand I'd put in his dark purple strands before, smelling cedar wood and pine trees. I don't assume. My farm has plenty of those to stumble through. And even if he went back to the cliff, another time again. I do that too. With my own cliffs back at not-home, but close. There's a sense, in staring down what couldn't take you.

Like visiting a scene crime that you've narrowly escaped from. And pride too. And the thrill of asking- "what if again? What if this time?"- and okay, I can see why it'd be worrying to have him go there a thrice time on his own late in the evening.

But last time was fine, the one before was made fine, and he might need a bitch for a friend right now, but not a watchdog.

His forehead is back against the table.

Three fingers massage my temple. I don't know how much he'll even remember tomorrow, but it's worth the try, always.

"Shane, dude, look at me." He doesn't.

"Dude."

Still doesn't budge. I knock the wood lightly.

"Yo, punk, my eyes are up here." I joke.

He snorts, or maybe he sniffles, and his chin's now resting on the table, peering through the forgotten drinks to watch me. His hands are hidden, probably still clutching his midsection. If I went on a rollercoaster toasted, I'd probably look the exact same.

"I told you before that you literally couldn't be a burden."

He snorts for sure this time, derisive. I knock wood again. "Don't look away from me when I talk, young man. Rude ass punk."

"Bitch." He throws.

"Bitch bastard man." I send back. "Anyways, as I was saying. If I choose you're my dumb of ass to keep around, that's me, that's my decision. You can't burden me if I choose the hard mode package and roll with it. So stop it. I literally told you before, it's not about you not making efforts or burdening people, it's about people who want to deal with you, out of free will."

"Freaky."

"Oh shut up, you dramatic himbo wannabe."

"A what now?"

"Internet slang. Gotta admit you're closer to a dad bod type, but the energy's here, according to many."

He shuffles, self-conscious. "Y'don't need to remind me…"

"Oh hush you, you're perfectly fine. And Elliott would eat his dumb little lobster and pomegranate toasts off that belly if you'd grow out of your own shell and let him."

He sputters unintelligibly, red as a fecking pepper. Good. Flustered is better than self-depreciating.

But now he's pulled on his hood and the strings all the way out, and resumes to chanting me to fuck off, so that might be a good call for a break.

"I'm gonna change and clean up, you need anything? Do you think you'll go back to the ranch, or stay here for the night?" It's happened before, but you can count them on the fingers of one hand.

A long silence follows and I allow myself a quick look in the mirror. Yeah, we're skipping a shower tonight, but the simple hairbrush will not do. I look like a bird's nest that the birds fought in to know who'd keep the children when bird 2 takes off and bird 1 is left to mourn the empty space that'll never fill up the same again and the good times that won't be- wow, trauma lane much, not now, cowpal. First we buckle up our current rodeo. I walk back to the main room, now pajama-clad.

"I've got the beds for the possible kids up there, don't ask me why Robin put so many there, we're two people in a house, and I can lend you a Tee if you want."

He's anxious, chewing his thumb. "Emily won't mind?"

"She's out, sleeping at Haley's tonight. Girls' night and sisters catching up. It's important for her energy flow and karmic balance. Plus, you know she wouldn't mind, she likes you."

That makes him blush more, covering up the alcohol damage enough. I take note, but don't comment. Things for later. They pile up tonight.

"I- I can't go back to the ranch like this."

"You could. Marnie knows better than act as if you're doing this for fun, now. She'd have to understand. But you don't have to." I reassure him when agitated pupils jump up to me. Let's keep that ongoing panic attack at bay. "Either way, I won't mind."

I sit back. Stretch my arms between us. Catch his worrying hands into mine. Give him a squeeze. Tense appendages don't squeeze back, but don't pull back either. That's half a win. He stops torturing the poor things, and unfold with visible effort, like a crumpled up paper flower put on water. His head shakes, and I can't tell if it's conscious, him speaking with himself or trying to shake off a thought, or just a reflex. He visibly forces his shoulders to relax.

"I'm… not bothering you?" Righteous. Seeking vocal positive reinforcement, like a pro.

"Nope." I pop out the 'p'.

"... I think I'll, uh, stay for tonight."

My hands shoot into the air. "Woo! Sleepover, baby!"

I don't catch his hands curling back on themselves, trying to capture that leftover warmth in the late summer night.

--- to be continued.

[n-guyetdinh-blog]

HOW WAS MONSTA X IN DALLAS COURTNEY KDFNOWer I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT?!?!?! ALso is it as lit as B.A.P concerts (I need to know for next time!!!!)

uhUHhHh as jooheon said, “let’s get lit everybody.” (true statement i swear on my life.)first thing’s first guys i got a fucking sunburn all over my damn legs like i didn’t even know i could burn but holy shit???? also shoutout to the man who gave me the fan?/?/? (bald, outer shirt that says ‘sinner’ on the back, whoever u are) you are my new bias i have left changkyun and lowkeyclosetbiasminhyuk and have decided to be biased with you instead you’re the tru mvp. like, i think i would have actually died lmao it was so fucking hot. my eyeliner literally melted off my face. also shoutout to the girls dancing in the lot. they were hecka talented and incredibly beautiful and i want to marry all of them.-hello all so what i have learned from this concert is that i may be a minhyuk bias i don’t know what happened but i’m just here to tell you that-minhyuk-is-an-angel-from-heaven-shownu literally said, as his intro, “hello ladies and gentlemen” #same-speakin of awk mh was so cute he was like “nice to meet you dallas i’m minhyuk” and he did these little curt waves to everyone (those awk little waves he does idk how to explain he’s so cute osmfa)-changkyun spoke so much english and he quite literally ruined me i don’t think i’m alive anymore-his voice-his personality-his everhting-he’s just-cries-while talking about who personifies “beautiful” the most, wh stepped up and ck was like “go back to your seat please” (#me)-right after ^ jh goes “make some noise for his muscles”-”his muscles is (are) beautiful”-sn: ”hyungwon is little bit sick. but he now…very…better….now…. i.m pls” (i love his plea for help–you’re doing gr8 babe) / ck: “uh, he’s getting better so you don’t have to worry about him, okay guys?”-wh pushing everyone and then they all started like…jump kicking….and roundhouse..kicking….???-mh was like “the king of aegyo is–???” and mbb were screamin out jooheon but then kihyun highkey threw him into the pit and was like “minhyuk!” so there’s that-mh’s “oh my god~” that was supposed to be an imitation of dallas mbbs haha rip-ck’s “this concert name is beautiful and you guys are so beautiful so beautiful girls~~ all over the world~~“-mh’s “namja aegyo” that used kh-mh was like “for example…/pats kh/ man”-ck was like, lmao sassy bean he is, “ofc he’s a man, ofc. he’s a man. he really is!”-for the namjaegyo mh just walked up to kh, “hi guys,” put his arm on his shoulder and goes: “you are….mine” /pushes hi away lightly/ and then kh is just like staring out at us like in the office when they stare at the camera and they’re just like wtf yea that was kh-ck highkey fooling the entire fucking audience and was like “lol shownu is in the back!!! in the audience!!!” but he wasn’t fuckin troll ass piece of shit i love him-jh forcing kh into an english ver of gwiyomi and he was the cutest thing on the planet-btw-kihyun-is-tiny.-tiny-he is smol please protect him at all costs-kh was singing a “romantic song” for us and the rest of the members just like highkey started walking away lmao-i would fight anyone to protect him-MINHYUK’S LITTLE “THANK YOU THANK YOU” “I LOVE YOU” AND “OK” NEAR THE END DESTROYED ME PHYSICALLY EMOTIONALLY MENTALLY HE IS THE CUTEST THING ON THIS PLANET I AM DEAD-from zero is a blessing from the gods above-wonho is actually the cutest-????-his giggles are the cutest thing-he played around the most and he was just a ray of sunshine and hope and joy and everything good in the world he’s so adorable-i forgot what song but his mic kind of died and he noticed and when it came back on he just kinda fell into giggles and iT HURT ME-I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW ADORABLE HE IS-everything he did was just so cute-he’s also hecka cheesy-but then he tryna be nekkid make up ur m ind-after mh did aegyo wh was like “if we talkin romantics it’s mh” and mh was like (in english) “i’m done, i’m done) lmao-hi also jh&kh’s duet stage actually ruined me-like-i was close to tears-and also-i was speechless-chANGKYUN IN THAT WHITE SHIRT AND MINT PANTS FUCK HE LOOKED GOOD-sn/wh/mh/ck making fun of kh’s rapping from the duet-wh kept saying “it’s a joke~” after everything he said smh-wonho asked if we ate dinner yet and we said no and he was like what??? no???? and we were like no and then he asked if we came from somewhere far and we screamed yes and he was like “does anyone live further than i do” lmao he got us-“we, monsta x, will fight for you forever” way to ruin my life ck-wh tryna pour water on ck’s head-jooheon’s everything-jooheon is everything and more-jooheon is indescribable i can’t-his voice when he said “lemme see ur aegyo” ogsg-wh threw a sweat towel out in the crowd and at the end mh did the same thing and got a reaction and kh looked at him like wtf why did they scream and he kinda just explained it to him, on stage, in the middle of a performance, and kh’s lines were next, and honestly it was so, fucking, cute, omg-changkyun told us “concentrate, concentrate…shhhh” and i–-chANGKYUn WAS LIKE “THE FRONT OF MY BABIES” LIKE EXCUSE ME?!?! (referring to the mbbs at the front)-shownu is as awkward a grandpa dad irl as he is in varities and vlives-and i love it-he’s perfect-he’s honestly so adorable-idk if anyone has a video of it yet but like changkyun’s voice when he was like “it was so romantic” i cried-at the end when they bowed they did this little cute thing where they all held hands and moved around the stage in a line like elementary school kids it was ridiculously cute-honestly none of this is in order i haven’t slept in 48 hours i had to drive 8 hours it’s just-the tapes were so cute oml but you can just find those online it’s the same for all the concerts but like let me tell you hyungwon looked soOOoOof ucking good also that one part where he’s like “man is it just me or do i look good today” and mh goes “what are you talking about you look good everyday” and i was like oh ok-i really missed hyungwon tbh we love you come to dallas next time bb-tihs is all i can remember i’m dyingas for whether it was more or less “lit” as a b.a.p concert–idk. i think mx and b.a.p have completely different dynamics that make them fun to watch. b.a.p’s concerts are pretty much known for being really well thought out and really immersive. they have a lot of shit going on on stage lmao and it’s like an Artistic Masterpiece to watch tbh. b.a.p’s performances are 100% spot on what is a backup track we only sing live 500% performance based the entire stage is used with 3204982304924 backup dancers if needed, basically, b.a.p are extra as fuck (and i love it). that said, it doesn’t really make me think it’s particularly better than monsta x’s. because b.a.p’s concerts are very, very performance based, the talk sessions are usually shorter and less interactive unless it’s an event session (it makes sense when you integrate the b.a.p personalities and group dynamics into it tbh), but monsta x had a lot of little breaks to talk and make the concert a lot of fun. monsta x take the time to play around with each other and stuff during the talks whilst b.a.p does it during the performances where they don’t have as much choreo; in exchange, monsta x don’t really stray from the main choreo (except for a few cute things). i don’t know if i’m explaining this well bc it’s like literally 6am and i got home an horu ago and i haven’t slept in sooooOoo long but basically monsta x and b.a.p have different concert styles and i think both are really awesome. also!! monsta x uses the whole stage (not naming group names but one group i went to see didn’t use the whole stage and only took up like 1/3rd of it for the entire time and it really bothered me bc it looked awkward)!!! and, similar to b.a.p, they sound a million times better live. like. i can’t. plus, again, like b.a.p, they’re far more beautiful than you think. you’ll go in thinkin’ you know what they look like but girl no. no camera can truly portray the etherealness of these members, b.a.p or monsta x. definitely go to an mx concert in your lifetime you won’t regret it. the members are so fun and enjoyable and their performance skills are great and i love all of them sm and they’re perfect. their concert style may not be the same as b.a.p’s but i promise you’ll def enjoy a mx concert ;v;

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 09

Warning: swearing (as always), BJ being horny, fire hazard.

The next day was monday, and every monday night since the girls moved together years ago was movienight. They prepared dinner together, bought a shitton of snacks, sat down on the floor in the living room and watched at least 2 movies. Most of the time they fell asleep during the third one.

So they were all in their kitchen, which had pretty peach-colored walls, a big window framed by curtains with various embroidered wildflowers on them, and olive green / beige french country-style kitchen furniture. Rei was making guacamole - which Sirius made quite a hard activity with all the jumping and whining for a piece of chips or basically anything delicious - while Sofía was talking about her business dinner from last night and Ari was sitting on the countertop, in the middle of the kitchen, eating Nutella out of a jar with a skull-shaped spoon. Minerva was laying beside her on her back, playing with a piece of breadcrust, getting occasional earscratchies.

- So I was like "No go amigo, I couldn't possibly share an exhibition with them" and my manager was like "why?" and I was like "because I'd have to be talkative and cute with them and man I couldn't" and he was like "but they are respected artists in the community" and I was like "yeah but they can't even use photoshop MICHAEL how could I work with people who are sooo past century"? - said Sofía, flipped her hair and took a sip out of her lemonade. - So yeah, he arranged the whole thing and now my coworkers for the next couple exhibitions will be not so known, but rising photographers instead of old people, isn't that awesome? - all of a sudden Minerva lifted her head up, pricked her ears and started to hiss in the entrance's direction.

Beetlejuice just arrived after his hunt for bugs in the winter garden. He was leaning against the entrance archway, and shaked his head in disappointment.

- I can't believe that you still hate me this much, you waste of fur. - the cat hissed harder. - What?!? Two can play this game, if you're not nice, I won't be either! - he pointed at Sirius, who let out one bark, then continued harassing Rei. - Look, even the dog got kinda used to me!

- I wonder what her problem is. - said Sofía while Ari pulled the kitty into her embrace.

- That's the point where you should tell them that "yeah she sees my demon buddy, yeah, we have a spectre, and I can hear him!" - said Beetlejuice in a girlish voice while he stepped closer to Ari. The girl stroked the slightly hissing Minerva, who was now laying on her lap. Ari licked her Nutella-covered spoon clean. Beetlejuice stopped in his movement and his jaw slightly dropped. He started to drool a bit. - Hooooly shit babes, it seems like you know how to turn my software into a hardware!

Ari blushed a bit and tried really hard not to giggle so she started to talk.

- ANYWAY... - that was way louder than she intended, so she cleared her throat - ...what did you do last night, Rei? - knowing exactly what happened to her poor sister (since after she got better, Beetlejuice told her everything), she was just curious if she would talk about the posession of her computer. Rei's ginger hair flew over her face as she turned to Ari and put the guacamole down to the countertop.

- Well you could say I was practicing poetry, since Robert Lewis Stevenson insisted that wine is bottled poetry, but to be honest after streaming I was just drinking and wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up... I'm sure it wasn't an anxiety ridden bitch disgusted by people with a wine problem, serving exactly those whom I disgusted by, but... - she put her hands up in the air - ...here I am! - she giggled as she turned to the fridge.

- So I suppose your "fans" were mean again? - asked Sof. Rei took some cheese out of the fridge, and scoffed while giving a piece to the very excited Sirius.

- Not mean, fuckin nasty. - she shut the fridge and rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses. - I mean, some of them spammed my IG DMs with requests of "please send me the bra you wore during today's stream, I saw the strap and I'm hooked", like... Ugh.

- Can't judge a man for wanting some lingerie from a pretty girl, that's my opinion. - said Beetlejuice while he hopped on the counter next to Rei.

- Jesus fuck people are weird... - commented Ari as she got off of the middle countertop. Minerva ran away to upstairs.

- Oh so that's the socially acceptable opinion now? Okay wait... - Beetlejuice cleared his throat and continued in a sarcastic manner, heavily gesturing while doing so. - OH YES PEOPLE ARE AWFUL UGH DISGUSTING EW HOW COULD SOMEONE ASK ANYTHING LIKE THAT EWEWEW. - his voice went back to normal as he looked at Ari, who just hugged Rei. - Was it good and totally believable? - Ari smiled and gave him a thumbs up behind her sister's back. - God I'm good! On the other hand, did I tell you that when I walked into Rei's room yesterday, I almost tripped on a bra? You could say... - he floated next to Ari's ear. The girl could feel his icy breath on her earlobe. - ...it was a booby trap. - Ari shut her eyes and bit her lower lip while smiling widely. - SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING YOUR PRETTY ROUND ASS OFF, THAT WAS PHENOMENAL!!! - Ari let Rei go and went to one of the cupboards. Rei poured herself a glass of red wine.

- I don't even know why I'm getting upset by these kinds of shits anymore. I've been doing this job for years, I should be used to creeps. - she shrugged. - Eh, whatever, it felt nice to vent.

- And we're here to listen every time! - shouted Ari, head inside one of the lower cupboards, fistbumping the air. After some rummaging, she lifted her head out. - Hey guys, where did we put the ultimate bathbomb?

- What? - asked Sofía with a tilted head.

- The toaster. Obviously. - BJ slapped his knees as he started laughing.

- Gee, doll, that was good! Your humor is getting worse and worse under my influence and I'm living for it! - he scratched his head. - Wait, is that appropriate for me to say? Or should I say I'm dying for it? Since I'm dead? - he shrugged his shoulders. - I dunno both sound good.

After Sof got the machine out of one of the highest cupboards, Ari started making grilled cheese sandwiches. Beetlejuice floated right next to her and flashed a pretty evil, toothy grin. He wriggled his fingers while looking up at the ceiling lamp, which started to flicker. The girls quickly looked at each other but didn't say a thing. BJ giggled. Ari stuck the toaster's plug into the power outlet, which instantly made it sparkle. One of the sparkles fell on Ari's hand. She quickly got it away with a quiet "ouch", and looked at where Beetlejuice's very uproarious laugh came from. The angry face she made almost made the demon tear up.

- What? You thought I'd never mess with ya, doll? After seeing this face, I'll do it even more often, you angry little toddler you... - and with that, the lights flickered again.

- Am I hallucinating or did ya see that too? - asked Sofi, pointing at the lamp.

- Maybe it's just bad wiring... - said Rei, with a rather nervous chuckle. She didn't sound believable at all. - It's nothing to worry about...

- Oh so you think I'm nothing to worry about?! - said Beetlejuice with annoyement in his voice. - You underestimate me, little one. - he pointed at the chandelier in the living room and the lamp in the kitchen. They both started to shine and flicker in the same rhythm. The girls looked at each other.

- I'm pretty sure that's not bad wiring... I think... - one of the light bulbs in the living room shattered, stopping Ari for a moment. They all ducked as the light bulb in the kitchen exploded. - I THINK THIS HOUSE REALLY IS HAUNTED!!!

- THANK YOU! FINALLY! - shouted Beetlejuice, his eyes and his neon green hair glowing. - I'M FINALLY GETTING THE RECOGNITION I DESERVE!

- IT'S NOT, GHOSTS ARE NOT REAL! - shouted Rei, while trying to help Ari get hold of the angrily barking Sirius.

- It's scientifically proven that they are... - commented Sof.

- Shut up, I'm not superstitious like you two! I mean sure, weird things are happening in the house, like my PC acting strange, or the hairdryer sucking Sofi's hair in, but I'm sure there's a logical explanation!

Beetlejuice grinned like a maniac.

- Oh baby you really want logical explanation? You think there's any logic to ME? Then watch... This! - the demon cracked his fingers and chuckled as he looked at the plugged in toaster. Ari looked at the voice's direction and gasped when she saw what Beetlejuice was doing. The toaster's heating wires were glowing red hot, and an awful stench came from the machine. The smell of burning plastic.

- OH FUCKIN HELL!!!

- Who doesn't like a bit of electrical fire? - said Beetlejuice, laughing, looking at the infurious Sof. Ari quickly jumped up and started to go through the drawers quickly. Sof was quicker, she handed her the oven mittens, which Ari put her hands into and lifted the now flaming toaster.

- Okay... Now what? - Rei jumped up in panic too.

- What what?!?

- Where do I put it?!

- ARIADNÉ, YOU JUST LIFTED THIS FLAMING SHIT UP WITHOUT A PLAN?!?!?!?!

- I'M NOT A VERY BRIGHT WOMAN, OKAY?!?!?!? - Rei opened up the window and pulled the curtains back.

- THROW IT OUT!!! - Ari quickly threw the machine out of the window, into the birdbath that was under it. The flames started to fade and the girls let out a huge, relieved breath.

- Welp... I may sound like a hypocrite but... After this I think we're haunted. - Sofía and Ari both looked at Rei.

- You said, literally a minute ago, and I quote, that you are not superstitious like us two. - Rei threw her hands up in the air.

- I'm not superstitious! But I'm a... Umm a little bit stitious.

- Do you seriously think this is a right time for Office quotes? - asked Sof, with folded hands and an eyeroll.

- Hey this is how I cope! Toasters don't start spitting flames normally, man! That shit scared the living Hell out of me!

Ari bit her lower lip. A faint idea crossed her mind.

- Ummm... I think we should ask our presence what do they want. - the girls and Beetlejuice both looked at Ari with lifted eyebrows. - Sof, don't you have an Ouija board? We could ask them stuff and maybe help them out. So they won't cause trouble like this again. - Beetlejuice covered his smiling mouth with his hands.

- OHMYGOD BABES THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I never tried playing with those things but...

- Okay let's do it. - stated Rei decidedly. - Sofía! Get your Ouija board. We're adjourning movienight. Let's ask this bitch what the everliving fuck is their problem!