#you guys are so fucking lucky the image limit is 30 because i have like 125 otto screencaps ready to go whenever

[liquidstar]

Just wanted to say that because of your re:zero posting i started reading the LN of it a month or so ago, and ive been really enjoying it! But i also feel the need to tell you about an incredibly funny thing that happened because of it

I had just finished volume 12 and am talking to my younger sibling about how i was eagerly awaiting the next book, which i had to order online. They expressed interest in it, and asked if i wanted to try watching the anime with them! I had watched around half of season one when first reading and decided i liked the LN version better, but i thought it would be fun to experience it with them.

Now, my favourite character even before reading re:zero has been and will always probably be Otto. Something about his cringe fail vibe had captivated me. However i was under the impression he was truly just some guy whos purpose was to be a little bit unfortunate and help out every now and then and his existence in the story would remain as such. This did NOT stop me from hyping him up to my sibling like the liar i am saying he was actually super important and he was gonna save everybody and was the specialist guy ever. Normal things to jokingly say about your fave deal.

You can maybe then imagine my surprise when RIGHT AFTER we got past where i had read in the anime, Otto is suddenly the key element in helping Subaru, giving him the will to continue and trying to help free the Sanctuary and save everyone and getting sad backstory and cool power moments and everything. And now my sibling is upset at me for spoiling things while i am standing there jaw on the floor. I am really truly shocked about how the timing of it all worked out.

moral of the story Otto enjoyers win ? dont spoil important character moments for your sibling through delusional hypemaning of your special guy ? i dont know im still confused how this happened to me

YEAAAAAH OTTO LETS FUCKING GOOO OTTO

OFFICIAL OTTO POST!!!!!!! GO OTTO YAAAAAAYYYY OTTO SUWEN #1 GUY OF ALL TIME

[loviingpedri]

you belong with me

prompt: pedri x gavira!reader

warnings: cursing, google translated sentences, grammar issues, not proofread

credits to owners for images

it always has been pedri. from the day you made eye contact with him, there was no other boy. the only problem was that he was best friends with your brother, pablo gavira. pablo made it clear that you were off-limits to his friends. it fucking hurt that you couldn’t be with pedri. both of you made efforts to get over each other by seeing other people, but you still ended up in his bed when night came.

“y/n, the game is about to start.” your sister, aurora, was the only person in your family that knew. well, you didn’t want her to find out until she walked into you and pedri having a heavy makeout session.

“yeah, i’m coming.” even though you proudly wore pablo’s number 30, sometimes you wished it was number 8. pedri gave you his jersey as a gift, but you knew you couldn’t wear it. aurora kissed your cheek as you traced the lines of his name, then to the 8.

“let’s go. you won’t be making it obvious if you’re in the stands.”

-

nothing feels more special then walking into spotify camp nou. as you made your way into your seats with aurora, it was a lucky time to watch your favorite boys warm up. during the warm-ups, pedri would sneak a few winks or some kind of flirty look. today was different. he only looked at you once, and his body language was off towards you. it didn’t matter though, gavi would still be smiling at his two siblings.

the game was intense. you constantly jumped out of your seat when a goal was about to be scored. at the 79th minute, pedri scored a goal. the stadium roared with cheers. only during goals was the only time you felt that you could show off your ‘boyfriend’.

that thought was quickly shoved over when pedri pointed at a girl who looked the exact opposite of you with a smile. he made a heart with his hands followed by a wink. your heart dropped. you were no longer wanted to be in the stadium. aurora gave you an ‘oh shit’ look. it was never official that you two were a couple. although, he made it official that every goal he made was dedicated to you. even if it was a secret, god damn did it hurt. it hurt more that you couldn’t run away. it was only right you stood in place, not moving a single muscle.

after the game ended in a victory for barca, you and aurora wasted no time to leave. hell, you two ran out of there. all of the sobs were released when you were in the cry. aurora tried her best to drive home, but it was no use. she hugged you as tight as she could in your bed. you’ve cried for about an hour until gavi came home.

“hey guys, are you coming to the party?” gavi seemed so happy after the victory. it disappeared after he saw you crying. “what happened? what’s going on?” you shook your head. today was not the day he found out. he joined his siblings into the hug, even if he was confused.

“i think i’m going to miss it today. i’m not feeling good.” you managed to finally speak after crying your entire soul out.

gavi shook his head. “you should go. maybe it’ll make you feel better. having a bit of fun doesn’t hurt.” making eye contact with your sister was the worst idea. you knew she had something in mind with her smirk.

-

fully convinced to go, actually dragged to go, you managed to pull off the ‘bad bitch’ look aurora promised. it didn’t even look like you cried into your brother and sister’s shoulders for hours.

gavi was finally able to drive yall to the parties. he was mostly relieved because he didn’t have to sit in the backseat while listening to your horrible carpool karaoke. instead, he would have a distraction. after enduring the traumatic singing, partying was an easy way to ease your mind.

an introduction wasn’t needed for the team. if anything, the family was known as the gavira triplets for sticking around together. you couldn’t lie, this shit was fun. until, pedri walked in with a girl all over him. everyone seemed fine, but only the people who knew about the relationship got awkward. you got the feeling to go home, but you didn’t wanna disappoint anyone. maybe standing next to your brother was the wrong move. of course pedri would go up to him first. pedri tried to greet you with a hug, but it was quickly exchanged for a hand shake. you needed a drink after the interaction. excusing yourself, you quickly made your way to the bar.

“i’ve never seen you drink in front of the team.” pedri came up behind you.

“that’s none of your business.” you shot him a fake smile.

“why are you acting like this?” this motherfucker has got to think harder.

“i don’t know pedri, why am i acting like this?” the sarcastic tone irked him to the max.

“can we talk outside?” this was not going to go well. in the end, it was either going to be the last conversation or it was going to leave you in his bed. you couldn’t even face him outside.

“what’s going on with you? we were just fine two days ago.”

“wow pedri, you noticed how it was two days ago. well, within two days, you decided to go see someone else.”

“what the hell are you talking about y/n. we aren’t dating. we can never be together.” shit, those words hurt. the conversation was never suppose to go into a yelling spree. it felt like a screaming session.

“if you know we can’t be together, then don’t go fucking around.”

“are you serious? you gave in. this was never suppose to last this long.” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“you were the one being a horny fuck. you fucking played me. i know we can’t be together, but that never meant i didn’t love you.” tears were forming in both of your eyes.

“well guess what, i had to get over you. i loved you too y/n.”

the emotional moment was shut down by gavi. fuck. gavi heard your last sentence, but it only angered him more when pedri admitted his feelings too.

“what?” gavi was in a form of shock. both you and pedri looked at him, both hearts dropping. the relationship was fucked up from the moment it started. you knew gavi would find out, but it wasn’t a way you wanted it to go. it was like every family member would find out in the least joyful ways. “what the fuck? you were messing around with my sister this whole time?” gavi started to walk closer, his face turning red. you tried to get him to back up, but it was unsuccessful since a punch was thrown right at pedri. you screamed in panic while aurora walked out seeing the punch. she grabbed you to go home even after your begging to stay. you never knew someone could cry so many times today. hell, you didn’t even know you could cry this much.

-

none of your siblings have seen you for days. during their work/practice hours, you would eat but other than that, you stayed locked in your room.

aurora had come home early while you were eating. you didn’t feel like abandoning her so you decided to talk to her. after catching up on some things, the big questions were starting to come up.

“how’s gavi? i didn’t really see his reaction.” your energy suddenly left your body. your appetite was lost. worry was running around you.

“gavi is okay. i knew he would calm down eventually. he said he’s not going to talk to pedri unless you worked it out with him.”

“i don’t know if i wanna talk to him. shit got so messy within 30 seconds.”

“you should. xavi made him stay home. he’s recovering his black eye.” you didn’t mean to laugh. it was only funny since he got his karma. you were about to answer until gavi walked through the door. after staring at each other for at least a minute, he finally hugged you. aurora went into her room since a private conversation was about to begin.

“Cómo estás?” he finally spoke to you. he was fidgeting with his fingers which indicated he was nervous.

“está bien. y tú?” he nodded in response. “are you hurt from the fight?” you didn’t know how to open the conversation. actually, you didn’t even know what to talk about.

he laughed at you a little. “no, pedri never hit me. he just let it happen. it was only one punch until we were pulled apart.” it was starting to get awkward. there were so many things to say, but you didn’t know what to start with at first.

“are you mad?”

“what? i mean, yes i was. at first, i’m not mad anymore. i was just worried about you. pedri keeps asking, but i didn’t even know what was happening. i think you should talk to him.”

“aurora said that too. i plan to, but i don’t know what to say.” gavi nodded at you again. he wished you good luck before walking away.

-

you were sick to your stomach on the way to pedri’s house. overthinking made your stomach turn. there was so many different outcomes. what if he didn’t even open the door. what if he doesn’t wanna talk to you. the nerves were really kicking in when you pulled into his drive way. deeps breaths. inhale and exhale.

knocking on his door with your sweaty hands was the hardest thing to do. it was the last chance to run before he even saw you. once he opened the door, you instantly knew he had been a mess. eye bags were staring right at you. him being half asleep. water still on his face from the ice pack.

“pedri.” you looked at him concerned. he pulled you into a hug before you could say anything else.

“i’m so sorry. please tell me you’re doing okay.”

“yeah, i’m okay. you look like a hot mess pedri.”

he nodded in agreement. “you see, it wouldn’t be this bad if i didn’t get punched in the face. but i deserved it.” you shared some laughs with him while he welcomed you into his home.

“so, have you talked to gavi?” gavi kept his conversation short with you. you still couldn’t read his facial expression if he approved or not.

“yeah i did. we only had one conversation. he actually said it was fine for us to be together.” this was the first time pedri had a genuine smile after days. he wasn’t sure if you still felt the same way for him, but he was happy that there was nobody stopping him from being with you. you sat on his couch in deep thoughts. pedri was scared that you might quit on him.

“we finally got our answer pedri. can you handle dating me though?” you finally spoke. pedri pulled you into another hug.

“hell yeah i can. you belong with me.”

[whereisten]

Creature Feature - Part 2

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 Preview | Taeil blurb

Summary: You work at your family’s 9-5 nighttime movie theater for the supernatural. Your fling with vampire!Taeyong is just that: a fling.

Pairing: Vampire!Taeyong x female reader

Word Count: 3.5k words

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Smut (just a very brief mention of fingering)

[1:30 AM]

You were furious. You knew that you were being irrational with him. You were throwing a fit because he couldn’t drink your blood? Or was it something more than that?

To be frank, you were mad at yourself. You couldn’t understand why you were so angry.

From the first time Taeyong came into your office to say hi.

To every engagement you had at the 3:00 AM showing of a movie that had been out for weeks. When no one else was around.

To when he left you a box of your favorite pizza in your office when you had a rough night.

To when he slyly helped you manage some rowdy customers. It was a close call that time with the hybrid who tried to break your neck when you told him he couldn’t harass the female customers. Thankfully, he never showed up again.

To when he sang along to “How Deep Is Your Love” as you slow danced in your candlelit office.

He really knew how to charm someone who wasn’t his escort.

Taeyong encompassed your mind more than you let on. And you couldn’t tell anyone. Your parents would disown you for fraternizing with the vampires. Your parents tolerated the presence of vampires at their theater but to befriend them? Out of the question. And you could never figure out why without getting turned away.

“The less you know, the better, y/n. Now go watch a One Dimension video,” your dad told you when you were seventeen. He meant One Direction.

“y/n, vampires are manipulative and cruel. It’s in their core. Don’t question it,” your mom said from time to time until this day. She possessed a haunted look on her face whenever the topic came up.

The supernatural and the human race...For the most part, they didn’t see eye to eye. They were divided to prevent even more chaos from unfolding in this world. Your mother’s side of the family was bound to live among and serve the supernatural for centuries, she told you. Your maternal grandparents founded Sinema. Sinema was a safe space for the supernatural to mingle and escape to in the nighttime when most humans were asleep and oblivious to the world. Sinema could only be seen by the supernatural and their allies like you, your mother, and your father by marriage.

As a child, you attended night classes with some of the supernatural that could pass for humans, like werewolves and vampires. When college came around, you lived those four years as a regular young adult. Adjusting to more of a daytime schedule at that time was a pain so you tried your best to get 5:40 PM and later classes. Eventually, you adjust to earlier classes.

Coming back home to work alongside your parents wasn’t your number one choice but it was your birthright. Maybe when your parents retired, you could find another career endeavor away from the movie theater and still help out the supernatural.

You were obligated, after all.

And you were fond of them. A lot more than your parents were, as a matter of fact. And they weren’t particularly thrilled about that.

Your parents expected that you would marry a nice human boy so he could support you the way your dad supported your mom.

Your parents were so in love it blew your mind sometimes. Your dad worshipped your mom. The adoring looks and the need to please her never faded. Your mom looked at your dad every day like she was falling in love all over again. You couldn’t believe that the love they had could exist somewhere else. Or that you would ever find it.

Your dad must have loved your mom so much to give up the life he had to be with her. He could have been a hotelier and traveled all over the world. He loved the sunlight when he was a boy. But his priorities realigned when he met your mom. So your folks hoped you could find something just like that. A regular boy who could settle down with you and manage a movie theater full of creatures he originally thought were fairy tales.

Your parents hadn’t factored in that you would meet Yuta, though.

When you were away at college, during your senior year, you met a boy with the most brilliant smile and long silky black hair that always left crowds of people stunned. Your class with Yuta ran three times a week. After noticing you on the first day, he moved from his original seat to yours over the course of the next few days.

Lecture 1: He sat across from you as the lecture hall ran circular like a dome. He liked your laptop stickers.

Lecture 2: Moving to your side of the room, he was now four seats away, he sent you handwritten notes. Some were flirty and some asked you to diagnose him with any of the disorders the professor discussed.

Lecture 3: Three seats away, he sent you less notes, instead staring at you and winking when you met his gaze. He was still an excellent note taker, given that he glanced at you several times.

Lecture 4: Two seats away. He deliberately dropped his pencil right next to you so you could pick it up for him. You obliged and handed it back to him. He deliberately ran his fingers against yours. That was when you realized he was a werewolf.

Lecture 5: he sat right next to you. You two exchanged numbers and grabbed coffee after class. You let it slip in conversation that you knew he was a werewolf.

Lecture 17: you two were inseparable. He was a little cocky but somehow his arrogance made him more attractive. You helped him with his transition for the full moon that night. And after it was over, he took you to Waffle House and you splurged on chocolate chip waffles.

Lecture 32: he finger fucked you when the professor played a documentary. At this point, you two migrated to the back of the classroom so no one was the wiser. He told you he loved you that day.

Lecture 47: you two sat at opposite sides of the room again.

Yuta ended up being one of your biggest regrets. As far as your parents knew, he was the human boyfriend that got away. You were okay with that. Better that than to face their wrath for dating a creature.

It’s been a few years since you graduated. Yuta was probably an alpha now with a trophy wife who was in the process of giving him twelve kids. You could only hope he didn’t treat her the way he treated you.

🎥

Two days have passed since you left Taeyong in your office. He was smart to give you time to cool off but he still came to the theater. The nerve.

You’d just finished talking with your supplier for the concessions. They were delivering their latest shipment out back. Employees Mingi and Seonghwa were out back helping them out. You hoped to snag some Sour Patch Bats this time without getting rebuffed by your parents.

You checked out a movie poster for the next Paranormal Activity film, which was dubbed as a comedy in these parts. It was an image of a blank TV screen. You observed it carefully to see if there were any hidden details when a transparent face appeared before you.

“Boo,” Taeil said, with his most malevolent expression. His face pale and almost sucked dry from an eternity of dehydration. Bags under his eyes from sleep deprivation. His teeth rotting and falling at your feet.

“Nice one,” you backed away from the poster, “But that trick hasn’t made me piss my pants since I was three so...you’re gonna have to try harder.”

Taeil the friendly ghost came out of the wall and appeared to you in his transparent form. His horrifying face was a ruse. He reverted back to the form he possessed the moment he died: an elegant young man with a golden tone on his skin. He wore a nice navy button down and black slacks. He was lucky to have died in those clothes since they were the ones he was stuck with until he ascended. You’ve seen ghosts in their bunny pajamas and some in their lingerie.

Taeil sighed, “You’re tough to break, y/n. Think I can try that on Lexa?”

“I thought we agreed she should live with paralyzing guilt all of her life. Not kill her instantly from fear,” you replied. Lexa was Taeil’s ex-girlfriend who cheated on him and told her lover that she wished she could get rid of him. She didn’t realize that her lover would take that to heart and push Taeil off of a twenty story building. Lexa helped her lover hide the body and they skipped town. They weren’t too far from Sinema now.

You offered to help Taeil get justice but Taeil already got his killer incarcerated. Now he paid him nightly visits at the penitentiary and the killer’s fellow inmates mocked him for bellyaching about seeing the ghost of his victim. Taeil was having a ball.

Taeil pouted at your remark. “Oh, she won’t die. It’s not that terrifying.”

You added as you walked back to the entrance, “She’s weak. You told me that..”

“Yeah yeah yeah...Enough about me, how’s it going with Edward Cullen these days?”

“Nothing’s going on,” you said, stuffing your hands into your pockets.

“You two were having a lot of fun on Friday night...Ballsy of you since Haseul was very close to bulldozing the door down.” Taeil chuckled.

You sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you? Even if you can walk through walls, my office is off limits.”

“But not to Edward Cullen over there,” he nodded toward the ticket stand where Taeyong was buying tickets for him and his vampire comrades.

You blushed.

“What would your parents say?” Taeil asked.

“They’d tell me to keep up with the pill and go nuts.” Taeyong couldn’t impregnate you even if he tried. Vampires couldn’t reproduce with humans. Even if you were 99% human.

Taeil sighed. “He’s trouble, you know. You better wrap up whatever it is you got going with him. Before it gets messy.”

“Taeil, I know all there is to know about guys like Taeyong. You think I would ever let it get that far?”

Someone tapped your shoulder and you felt a wave of dread overtake you. You turned around.

Yuta.

“I knew it was you,” Yuta said, smiling at you with his perfect teeth that made every single person want to hit up their orthodontist.

“Please tell me this is a dream,” you muttered at Taeil.

Taeil said, “I could pinch you but I’m a ghost.” He left you alone with Yuta as he quickly faded away. Probably to go haunt Lexa. You wished you could join him.

“Tae-“ you started but it was too late.

“You’re even more stunning than I last saw you. I’m dying here,” Yuta said as he moved closer into your no-no square.

You backed away, hating how he still had a very small effect on you. You really couldn’t believe that he was here.

Nakamoto Yuta stood before you, his now silver hair running past his shoulders. His rockstar apparel hugging his body tightly. He was always fit but he must have been an alpha now. He always told you that once he graduated from college he would be alpha. And his body definitely looked like an alpha’s. Rock solid and ready to smother you if you rubbed him the wrong way.

You said bring it on.

“y/n, my eyes are up here,” he said as he pulled your chin up to him. He smiled at you the way he did during your honeymoon stage. He loved to do that to you.

But he forgot that he broke your heart.

You smacked his hand away. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Didn’t you miss me? I sure as hell did,” he said as he inched closer again to smell your shampoo. “Your still using the same shampoo. My favorite.”

“Last time I checked you hated my guts.” But not as much as you hated his.

“I could never hate you,” he said as his flirty demeanor faded. He started to realize that he really did a number on you. And he felt more like an ass with each passing second.

“What do you want?” You asked as your eyes shifted to Taeyong. He was in line for concessions and he watched you like a hawk. His prominent jaw could stab anyone in line at that moment. You quickly turned back to Yuta, who you also prefer to avoid.

“A second chance,” he pleaded.

“Are you joking?” You gaped.

“No,” he said, deadpan.

You had nothing to say. The idea of him being serious was too much for you to process.

He continued. “I’ve come to realize that I was unfair to you. I’m sorry.”

He was onto something. At long last. “Look...That sounded almost sincere.”

He continued, his dark brown eyes never losing sight of you. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was too blind to see it.”

Why? After all of these years?

You sighed. “Did you realize this after you achieved your dream of becoming an alpha? Because Yuta, that was all you cared about. You were going to meet some girl from another prominent pack and unite the packs. It would all be yours. In the end, it didn’t matter who reigned beside you. She would always be beneath you. In status...and in everything else.”

Yuta clenched his teeth in response and you could hear his low growl. He bit back his words. “I-“

“Yuta, no. Spare us both and just leave.” You’ve had enough.

He sighed. “This was not how I wanted this to go.”

You lifted your brows. “How did you expect this to go?”

“To be honest, I was expecting us to reunite at the beach by the end of the night.”

You frowned. “What?”

His face was now flushed with embarrassment instead of anger. “Uh...”

“Excuse me?” You demanded. The nerve of this man.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that...”

“What has gotten into you?”

“Honesty has always been my motto. You know this, y/n. Regardless of whether I’m an ass or not. It seems as though becoming an alpha has amplified that trait.”

After an awkward silence, you said, “That must get you into a lot of trouble, alpha.” Who knew how much havoc he wreaked since graduation?

He boasted, “I’m the most powerful alpha. I can deal.”

“Has your modesty gone up from low to medium? Or is that just wishful thinking?” You joked.

He chuckled. “It’s a little better.”

You shook your head at him. He was such a jerk but he seemed sincere.

“Y/N!” Haseul ran over to you. “I need to break a thousand dollar bill.”

“Come again?” You asked.

“It’s your regular,” Haseul said, winking.

You knew damn well to whom she was referring. Taeyong had an interesting way of trying to get your attention. Irritating but effective. And he was about to get an earful.

Yuta noticed your change in mood. He knew that the inch closer he’d gotten to you tonight was meaningless. It was in your eyes. There was someone else.

You turned back to Yuta. “I have to go. Take care, Yuta.”

“y/n-,” he started with your name but stopped when you rushed off with Haseul.

His eyes darted all over the theater entrance. Who dared approach his girl?

That was when he saw Taeyong at the front of the line for concessions. To Yuta, Taeyong looked presumptuous and arrogant and weak. All vampires were. He was far beneath an Omega, the lowest rank a wolf could have.

Yuta watched Taeyong’s serpentine eyes on you. Taeyong looked at you like you were his impending snack. No respect at all, Yuta thought.

Your taste in men fell off the deep end, it seemed.

You walked over to the counter where the line was growing restless with varying growls and screeches.

“How can I help you, sir?” You gave him your most winning smile.

Haseul piped in. “He wanted to pay for Sour Patch Bats with a thousand dollar bill.”

“We don’t accept thousand dollar bills, sir,” you said, desperately wanting to glare at him.

Taeyong smiled. “That’s fine. I have smaller bills.”

Haseul gaped. “That’s not what he-Oh!” She realized something you didn’t.

You apologized to Haseul and left the register to meet Taeyong. You sat down at the bench by Theater 13, the theater that always played the most popular film out.

Taeyong opened his bag of Sour Patch Bats and offered it to you. You shook your head and smacked his shoulder. “You know Haseul’s stressed enough already. Don’t give her any trouble. If you want to talk to me, just come and talk to me.”

Taeyong dug into his sour gummies. “Seemed like you wanted to get away from that dog so I got creative.”

“Thank you but I can handle him. You didn’t have to do that.” You took the bag of candy from his hands and ate some. He was beaming.

“A friend of yours?” He asked way too innocently.

“He’s my ex from college,” you said.

“I figured as much. Since you didn’t push him away the moment he breathed in your direction.”

You looked at Taeyong trying to get a read for his mood. He was neutral and it unsettled you.

“He wanted to get back together and I told him no,” you admitted.

Taeyong struggled to contain his emotions so he got up and said, ���I’m going to get an ICEE. Do you want one?”

You nodded. “The triple, please?”

He nodded and smiled shyly at you. You both loved triple flavor ICEEs: cherry, blue raspberry, and coke.

He came back with your drinks. He handed it back to you.

“Hey, you drank out of this one!” You frowned and tried to grab the other untouched one in his hand. “Give me that one!”

He refused to give it to you and raised it above you so you couldn’t reach.

“Taeyong, come on!”

“How about this?” He asked quietly. “You can drink out of mine and we’ll call it even?”

“An indirect kiss. How...shoujo manga of you. Alright, let’s do it.”

He lifted the ICEE back down and you were going to drink it from his hand when he leaned down and kissed you. Oh, he was good. His mouth was cool on yours. An ICEE never tasted so good. You took advantage and switches your drinks.

He pulled away. “Hey!” He frowned.

“One kiss is enough, is it not?” You teased as you drank from the new cup.

Joking around like this, you forgot that he was a powerful vampire.

Who had swift reflexes

He drank from your ICEE cup in the blink of an eye. He winked. “One kiss will never be enough.”

“You’re so greedy. Why did you claim to buy me an ICEE if you were going to drink them both?”

“y/n I barely drank from yours. You’re just too OCD,” he joked.

“I resent that. I’m OCD? Don’t be such a hypocrite. You wash your hands almost as much as I do.” You two were neat freaks and as a fellow germaphobe, only he could tease you about it.

You went back and forth for a few more minutes before you got called back into work. Things weren’t exactly resolved with Taeyong but you let yourself have hope.

When you returned to your office, you found a jewelry box on your desk. Tiffany and Co.

Taeyong had outdone himself this time, you thought. You still needed to talk to him and tell him what’s been on your mind.

But.

It would be rude to not open his gift.

You were stunned to find a rose gold necklace inside. It was exquisite. You saw that there were two letters at the center. You found your initial and then.

You found a Y.

Y for Yuta.

You quickly put the pendant back into the box and quickly found the note under the box.

“y/n, I know I have a lot of making up to do. But I can promise you that I’m doing my best to be a better man. I want to be a better man for you. I hope one day you can forgive me and we can start again. I love you. Always, Yuta.”

“Oh, boy,” you started.

Someone knocked on your door and opened it. No one else did that except Taeyong and-

Your parents.

“Honey, we’re back!” Your mom, sporting a new tan, hugged you. Your dad hugged you after.

“Kiddo, the place looks great,” your dad said, “Any trouble since we’ve been gone?”

You quickly stepped backwards to your desk to hide the jewelry box and note behind you. You spun around to your desk and pretended to gather some papers so you can hide Yuta’s idiocy.

“Nothing to report,” you said.

Author’s Note: hey y’all! Thank you so much for always giving us so much love! And thank you for waiting for me! I’m so excited to take some time to write! For this chapter, I was inspired by a scene from Gilmore Girls (when Taeyong kisses y/n during the ICEE scene). I was also inspired for the transition to full wolf by Teen Wolf and The Vampire Diaries (Best shows ever). I was also inspired by a scene from @sakuurae’s story “Study Sessions” for the mention of Yuta having fun with y/n in lecture 🌚. I was also inspired by @caiuscassiuss’s story “Sasaeng” for the description of Taeil’s death. It’s an interesting mixture of inspirations. 😂 Thank you for reading!

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty : B IS FOR BI

“… But it ain’t no lie, Baby Bi Bi Bi (Bi Bi)” N’Sync, 2000

Prior to the redaction of this article, I asked a very close friend of mine, who happens to identify as bisexual/pansexual (more on that later) one simple question — a way for me to see if I was heading in the right direction and be sure to do justice to this part of our community. What do you think the biggest obstacle for bisexuals is in 2019 ? “Invisibility. The lack of representation of bisexuality as a legitimate identity. The more you are out there, the more everything is normalized, and there’s so much talk about the G in LGBT, Gay men, and next to nothing when it comes to Bisexuals.”

Communities tend to make the same mistakes as societies, as we are born in the same environments and are influenced by the same principles. When it comes to the Queer Community, patriarchy wins. In the L G B T Q I +, the G is omnipresent (because they represent the MAN, usually white), the L takes a little place on the side, T is the most persecuted, I is invisible. But it’s the B that keeps being so fascinating to me. B is the most under appreciated, denied and dismissed of them all.

WHAT IS AND WHAT IS DEFINITELY NOT

Bisexuality : romantic or sexual attraction to both males and females, or to put more in a 2019 kind-of-term, to more than one sex or gender. Bisexuality is part of the three main classifications of sexual orientation alongside heterosexuality and homosexuality, but we’ve already talked about this. This is bullshit and it doesn’t matter. These are just principles that the world kept cramming into our faces when they didn’t know any better. Not anymore. Just like its three other “main” terms, Bisexuality was coined in the 19th century, and its history is as old as the rest of them.

Ancient Greeks (at least 550 BC) incorporated bisexual relationships into their practices, but not exactly in a sexual way. Men with wisdom and experience would often pass along their knowledge or strength (if you were a soldier) to the younger generation through the act of sodomy. Once the young would reach maturity, the relationship became non-sexual — supposedly. It did interesting to point out that stigmas were present when the sexual relationship continued after the boy’s adulthood. A preview of things to come, in terms of bigotry.

Another interesting detail into History, it is never mentioned that women could have sex with other women as well. Sure, Sappho wrote about the female beauty, but this was just poetry. History itself only mentions the Men, as only them could dominate and be part of the wisdom. In Ancient Rome, it was acceptable for a man to have sex with other men outside of marriage, as long as they were younger, not another man’s son (so, slaves) and if the man would be the one to penetrate. Patriarchy, La-dee-da, La-dee-da.

In our modern society, what is REALLY interesting to point out though, is that when it comes to bisexuality, it is not easily owned by the person who could represent him/her/themself as bisexual. Terms like queer, polysexual, heterofexible, homoflexible, MSM or FSM are thrown around as alternatives to bisexuality. Hmm.

Bisexual activist Robyn Ochs defines bisexuality as “the POTENTIAL to be attracted — romantically and/or sexually — to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same TIME, not necessarily in the same WAY and not necessarily to the same DEGREE” which is going into more detail than the human heteronormative brain might comprehend at the moment, but pretty accurate to my knowledge.

What bisexuality is not, though, is what some papers found smart to call a transitional period. A study ‘found evidence of both considerable consistency and change in LGB sexual identity over time’ (there it is again, the confusion between orientation and identity. See my article from June 9th). Apparently, youth under that study who had identified only as bisexual at earlier assessments would then assume the gay/lesbian “identity” over time by 30 to 40%. I feel the need to clarify the situation ONE. MORE. TIME. Sexual orientation and identity are two separate things. Yes, scientists substitute those terms as easily as you might replace regular mayo with non-fat mayo, and it would be correct. But it creates way too much confusion. Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to. Identity is who you are, and it includes but not limited to sexual orientation. You can’t define yourself by your sexuality only. What the study is trying to explain (I hope) in a very broad and clumsy way is that sometimes, social circumstances prevent you from assuming and owing your real sexual orientation, whether it is straight or gay or whatever your orientation is. So a nice teenage cover up is the use of the term “bisexual” as a transitional period of time. I get it. I’ve done it. I made myself believe it for a long while. But that doesn’t make us bisexuals for a while THEN something else. I was always a homosexual. My non-nurturing environment didn’t give me the tools to put my dick on the table and say “I’m gay, bitches”. But to keep going back to that stereotype of the half closeted homosexual when it comes to have a general image of bisexuality is just so fucking wrong. A cliché, my dear. And now that I’ve mentioned it.

COMMON UNREAL NOTIONS

A person can be smart. People are dumb. So when it comes to understanding someone that you are not, crowds tend to go to the silliest questions. Like :

“So… Is there a percentage of how gay you were and how straight you can be?” Nop. Maybe someone can put a number on it, but it seems quite unrealistic to say “I’m like 40/60”. Sexuality is not be quantifiable.

“Do you think you’ll ever make a choice ?” There is no choice to make. Bisexuality is a definitive (though somehow less finite exploration of the human form) sexuality and thinking it has to evolve is offensive. Like saying that a gay man will get over it and go back to women eventually.

“But if you had to choose ?” You’re dumb. Your mother definitely fucked your uncle nine months before your birth.

“So you are dating someone of the opposite gender. Are you straight now ?” Fuck no. The gender of the person that I’m dating does not tilt the needle of the fucking outdated Kinsey scale.

“You are probably confused” You are probably ready to go fuck your mother’s pussy with a rake. And that was not a question.

“I could never date a bisexual. I would never be sure if he/she’s not looking at another guy/girl” So ? Your straight/gay boyfriend/girlfriend can still look around no matter what. If he/she’s a horn-dog, you should be worried. Bisexuals do not have more sexual desires because they can be attracted to multiple genders. Still not a question, dumbass.

“You’re so lucky, you have twice the chances to find someone, right ?” You failed math and it shows. AGAIN, being bisexual does not mean that romantic and sexual feelings are constant towards all genders all the time. They have the same troubles with human connexions as everyone because people are dumb, remember ?

“But you can’t actually know for sure until you’ve tried it both, don’t you think ?” I don’t know, did you try humping your uncle/father before you realized you were incestuous and you liked it ? Sorry, I meant to say sexual orientation does not need a try run to be real. You are what you are no matter what. You may sometimes ignore it for a while but it’s mostly because society never showed you it could exist.

“Do you believe that everyone is bisexual ?” No, I’m not Freud. I’m a grown man perfectly capable of understanding that bisexuality is not an umbrella-term for ALL sexuality.

“Don’t you think Bisexuality is a myth ?” This whole conversation is a myth. Gurl, Bi.

And that’s just the tip of the crushingly big iceberg. Bisexuals are constantly under the microscope of the rest of the world for existing outside the binary system of human recognition. You are a woman or a man. You like women or men. Simple. It never was. But the public (whether LGBTQ+ or not) insist on pushing the idea of bisexuality to the side and ignoring its legitimacy.

OSTRACISM

Worst than the usual queer rejection from society, bisexuals have it both ways by being denied true existence by society AND by the Queer community. Just look at their flag. The purple is crushed between the blue and pink, ready to disappear, not taking much space. You queers who are reading this article, don’t try to cop out and say “but I have no problems with bisexual people”. Fuck the fuck off. You fall into the same trap as heterosexuals. You fear someone who isn’t exactly like you. And do you actually date a lot a bisexual people ? Because last time I checked, bisexuals weren’t really talkative about their sexuality since it’s welcomed with such cold shoulders the white walkers are asking if they put on a nice little sweater. I keep coming back to a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a lesbian woman I know who said she could never date a bisexual woman as she would never be sure if she would stay gay for her and that she liked girls who knew what they wanted. Bisexuals know what they want. It may change from Monday to Tuesday (matter of speech) but I do believe the sexual attraction does not come from a switch inside them with two modes (either gay or straight) but from the individuals, whether closer to masculine or feminine traits, they might encounter that day. Again, that’s prejudicial and it makes you kind of a bigot but whatever.

Still on the subject of rejection, it’s not just romantic or sexual. If you go on the internet, there are countless examples of bisexual men or women who, after they came out as WHO THEY FUCKING ARE, had to face a change in the way people would treat them and act around them. A straight girl who couldn’t sit too close to her bisexual female friend because she could have a crush on her. A straight man who stopped giving hugs to his close bisexual male friend in case he would get the wrong ideas. OR a gay man or woman who would just end a relationship when they found out about their partner’s sexuality. Yep, I went back to sexual. Sue me.

Let’s put this out there : bisexual people are just as capable to commit to a monogamous relationship. It’s not because you fell in love with someone with a V that you’re gonna suddenly get hungry for the P. Don’t be a child.

Now, being rejected by society is one thing. We are queer, that’s our song, we twerk to it with vigorous enthusiasm. But the treatment of bisexuals in the Queer community is plainly unacceptable.

In France, when the Mariage pour Tous (fuck, I promised myself I wouldn’t use France again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Whatever.) succeeded after months of lobbying and manifestations from all sexual orientations, this was considered a victory for the LBGTQ+ community as a whole. But really, it was a success for Gay men and Lesbian women, as Bisexuals are not viewed as a consequential orientation. They are not visually recognizable to gay, lesbian or straight people, they don’t have the same historic tragedies that the general public know about and their sexuality has been used and abused as a motor for heterosexual male fantasies in pornographic movies and myths, thus keeping it from becoming a reality in people’s minds. It then becomes a vicious circle where the moral is low and the activism is nowhere to be found, so nothing changes. Bisexuals stay in the darkness (until they make a fucking choice, right ?). By the way, the term biphobia is never uttered but it’s real and it happens constantly.

WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU PAN ?

Something I haven’t totally mentioned yet is the term Pansexual. It’s actually the part of the article I was the most apprehensive about as if uninformed, is quite difficult to distinguish with Bisexual. Bisexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender. Well, Pansexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction to all genders, outside of the binary scope of what gender is, I guess ? That’s when things get complicated because people are really attach to the label “Bi” would argue that it does not limit them to only boys and girls but other genders. And then those really attach to the label “Pan” could argue that their term is more inclusive to transgender people, who are men and women but also non-binary individuals who do not identify with male and female identities’ basic definitions. Then I would say that to me, bisexuality is the more known and comprehensive umbrella term for what this romantic or sexual orientation is and that pansexual is a more recent word and kinda beyond the scope of bisexuality (in a good way). And then someone would tell me I have it all wrong and then I would shut the fuck up. Definite differentiation between bisexuality and pansexuality is a mindfuck for the ages, as is the term “feminism” to some these days. By the way, “Pan” means “All” in ancient greek and a synonym to Pansexual can be Omnisexual (“omni” is latin for “All”). But I don’t want to get too much into that, I don’t feel like I have the energy.

DOUBLE JEOPARDY

As I kept my searches broad for this article, I ran into a term that was used by SOS Homophobie to talk about discrimination of bisexual people. Double Jeopardy. We talked a lot about ways that straight folks can discriminate against bisexual people and a little bit about biphobia inside the Queer community but I would like to come back to the latter. I do write these articles for everyone but I seem to keep repeating myself quite a lot at the end of each of them, only because the problem seems to always be the same : as long as we are tearing each other apart, we won’t advance as one. Live together, Die alone, that sort of thing (Damn, I really do repeat myself).

To my queer peeps, do not fear the sexual preferences of your partner as your relationship do not depend on what gay or straight orientation she/he/they is/are gonna have that day. Do not make the mistake to judge them by their supposedly easy-way-out heterosexuality as they are not straight. They don’t hold more privileges than you in this world, as they might flip flop at convenience from one side to the other. A bisexual woman who falls in love with a man is still a Queer woman. It’s not your queer experience, but it is one and you need to embrace it. Do not put them down for it because they are already being put there by straight people on a daily basis.

All of this is based only on your own insecurities which have been fed by your minority status, your heteronormative education, your own ostracism from said heteronormative society and possibly your capabilities as a lover (ndlr : your fear of being dumped).

But most of all, do not ignore them. Those are your people. They hurt just as much as you (but between us, you can’t rank genders but in the prejudice scale, I’d say it comes at a close number 2. Think about it.) and they need your support, as you needed theirs when it was time to get that Mariage Pour Tous — damn, last time, I promise. Remember that this MPT was also for them. Every action you take as a community is an action to benefit them as well. As they are the B in LGBTQ+. Say it out loud. See how weird it sounds without the B.

Mic dropped.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUDab9piv_U

[sheminecrafts]

‘This is Your Life in Silicon Valley’: The League founder and CEO Amanda Bradford on modern dating, and whether Bumble is a ‘real’ startup

Sunil Rajaraman Contributor

Sunil Rajaraman is the co-founder of Scripted.com

More posts by this contributor

‘This is Your Life in Silicon Valley’: Former Pinterest president, Moment CEO Tim Kendall on smartphone addiction

‘This is Your Life in Silicon Valley’: Nomiku Founder CEO Lisa Fetterman on why Silicon Valley doesn’t care about female founders

Welcome to this week’s transcribed edition of This is Your Life in Silicon Valley. We’re running an experiment for Extra Crunch members that puts This is Your Life in Silicon Valley in words – so you can read from wherever you are.

This is your Life in Silicon Valley was originally started by Sunil Rajaraman and Jascha Kaykas-Wolff in 2018. Rajaraman is a serial entrepreneur and writer (Co-Founded Scripted.com, and is currently an EIR at Foundation Capital), Kaykas-Wolff is the current CMO at Mozilla and ran marketing at BitTorrent.

Rajaraman and Kaykas-Wolff started the podcast after a series of blog posts that Sunil wrote for The Bold Italic went viral. The goal of the podcast is to cover issues at the intersection of technology and culture – sharing a different perspective of life in the Bay Area. Their guests include entrepreneurs like Sam Lessin, journalists like Kara Swisher and Mike Isaac, politicians like Mayor Libby Schaaf and local business owners like David White of Flour + Water.

This week’s edition of This is Your Life in Silicon Valley features Amanda Bradford – Founder/CEO of The League. Amanda talks about modern dating, its limitations, its flaws, why ‘The League’ will win. Amanda provides her candid perspective on other dating startups in a can’t-miss portion of the podcast.

Amanda talks about her days at Salesforce and how it influenced her decision to build a dating tech product that focused on data, and funnels. Amanda walks through her own process of finding her current boyfriend on ‘The League’ and how it came down to meeting more people. And that the flaw with most online dating is that people do not meet enough people due to filter bubbles, and lack of open criteria.

Amanda goes in on all of the popular dating sites, including Bumble and others, providing her take on what’s wrong with them. She even dishes on Raya and Tinder – sharing what she believes are how they should be perceived by prospective daters. The fast-response portion of this podcast where we ask Amanda about the various dating sites really raised some eyebrows and got some attention.

We ask Amanda about the incentives of online dating sites, and how in a way they are created to keep members online as long as possible. Amanda provides her perspective on how she addresses this inherent conflict at The League, and how many marriages have been shared among League members to date.

We ask Amanda about AR/VR dating and what the future will look like. Will people actually meet in person in the future? Will it be more like online worlds where we wear headsets and don’t actually interact face to face anymore? The answers may surprise you. We learn how this influences The League’s product roadmap.

The podcast eventually goes into dating stories from audience members – including some pretty wild online dating stories from people who are not as they seem. We picked two audience members at random to talk about their entertaining online dating stories and where they led. The second story really raised eyebrows and got into the notion that people go at great lengths to hide their real identities.

Ultimately, we get at the heart of what online dating is, and what the future holds for it.   If you care about the future of relationships, online dating, data, and what it all means this episode is for you.

For access to the full transcription, become a member of Extra Crunch. Learn more and try it for free. 

Sunil Rajaraman: I just want to check, are we recording? Because that’s the most important question. We’re recording, so this is actually a podcast and not just three people talking randomly into microphones.

I’m Sunil Rajaraman, I’m co-host of this podcast, This is Your Life in Silicon Valley, and Jascha Kaykas-Wolff is my co-host, we’ve been doing this for about a year now, we’ve done 30 shows, and we’re pleased today to welcome a very special guest, Jascha.

Jascha Kaykas-Wolff: Amanda.

Amanda Bradford: Hello everyone.

Amanda Bradford. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images)

Kaykas-Wolff: We’re just going to stare at you and make it uncomfortable.

Bradford: Like Madonna.

Kaykas-Wolff: Yeah, so the kind of backstory and what’s important for everybody that’s in the audience to know is that this podcast is not a pitch for a product, it’s not about a company, it’s about the Bay Area. And the Bay Area is kind of special, but it’s also a little bit fucked up. I think we all kind of understand that, being here.

So what we want to do in the podcast is talk to people who have a very special, unique relationship with the Bay Area, no matter creators that are company builders, that are awesome entrepreneurs, that are just really cool and interesting people, and today we are really, really lucky to have an absolutely amazing entrepreneur, and also pretty heavy hitter in the technology scene. In a very specific and very special category of technology that Sunil really, really likes. The world of dating.

Rajaraman: Yeah, so it’s funny, the backstory to this is, Jascha have both been married, what, long time-

Kaykas-Wolff: Long time.

Rajaraman: And we have this weird fascination with online dating because we see a lot of people going through it, and it’s a baffling world, and so I want to demystify it a bit with Amanda Bradford today, the founder CEO of The League.

Bradford: You guys are like all of the married people looking at the single people in the petri dishes.

Rajaraman: So, I’ve done the thing where we went through it with the single friends who have the app, swiping through on their behalf, so it’s sort of like a weird thing.

Bradford: I know, we’re like a different species, aren’t we?

from iraidajzsmmwtv https://ift.tt/2ZeUiNl via IFTTT

[technicalsolutions88]

Sunil Rajaraman Contributor

Sunil Rajaraman is the co-founder of Scripted.com

More posts by this contributor

‘This is Your Life in Silicon Valley’: Former Pinterest president, Moment CEO Tim Kendall on smartphone addiction

‘This is Your Life in Silicon Valley’: Nomiku Founder CEO Lisa Fetterman on why Silicon Valley doesn’t care about female founders

Welcome to this week’s transcribed edition of This is Your Life in Silicon Valley. We’re running an experiment for Extra Crunch members that puts This is Your Life in Silicon Valley in words – so you can read from wherever you are.

This is your Life in Silicon Valley was originally started by Sunil Rajaraman and Jascha Kaykas-Wolff in 2018. Rajaraman is a serial entrepreneur and writer (Co-Founded Scripted.com, and is currently an EIR at Foundation Capital), Kaykas-Wolff is the current CMO at Mozilla and ran marketing at BitTorrent.

Rajaraman and Kaykas-Wolff started the podcast after a series of blog posts that Sunil wrote for The Bold Italic went viral. The goal of the podcast is to cover issues at the intersection of technology and culture – sharing a different perspective of life in the Bay Area. Their guests include entrepreneurs like Sam Lessin, journalists like Kara Swisher and Mike Isaac, politicians like Mayor Libby Schaaf and local business owners like David White of Flour + Water.

This week’s edition of This is Your Life in Silicon Valley features Amanda Bradford – Founder/CEO of The League. Amanda talks about modern dating, its limitations, its flaws, why ‘The League’ will win. Amanda provides her candid perspective on other dating startups in a can’t-miss portion of the podcast.

Amanda talks about her days at Salesforce and how it influenced her decision to build a dating tech product that focused on data, and funnels. Amanda walks through her own process of finding her current boyfriend on ‘The League’ and how it came down to meeting more people. And that the flaw with most online dating is that people do not meet enough people due to filter bubbles, and lack of open criteria.

Amanda goes in on all of the popular dating sites, including Bumble and others, providing her take on what’s wrong with them. She even dishes on Raya and Tinder – sharing what she believes are how they should be perceived by prospective daters. The fast-response portion of this podcast where we ask Amanda about the various dating sites really raised some eyebrows and got some attention.

We ask Amanda about the incentives of online dating sites, and how in a way they are created to keep members online as long as possible. Amanda provides her perspective on how she addresses this inherent conflict at The League, and how many marriages have been shared among League members to date.

We ask Amanda about AR/VR dating and what the future will look like. Will people actually meet in person in the future? Will it be more like online worlds where we wear headsets and don’t actually interact face to face anymore? The answers may surprise you. We learn how this influences The League’s product roadmap.

The podcast eventually goes into dating stories from audience members – including some pretty wild online dating stories from people who are not as they seem. We picked two audience members at random to talk about their entertaining online dating stories and where they led. The second story really raised eyebrows and got into the notion that people go at great lengths to hide their real identities.

Ultimately, we get at the heart of what online dating is, and what the future holds for it.   If you care about the future of relationships, online dating, data, and what it all means this episode is for you.

For access to the full transcription, become a member of Extra Crunch. Learn more and try it for free. 

Sunil Rajaraman: I just want to check, are we recording? Because that’s the most important question. We’re recording, so this is actually a podcast and not just three people talking randomly into microphones.

I’m Sunil Rajaraman, I’m co-host of this podcast, This is Your Life in Silicon Valley, and Jascha Kaykas-Wolff is my co-host, we’ve been doing this for about a year now, we’ve done 30 shows, and we’re pleased today to welcome a very special guest, Jascha.

Jascha Kaykas-Wolff: Amanda.

Amanda Bradford: Hello everyone.

Amanda Bradford. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images)

Kaykas-Wolff: We’re just going to stare at you and make it uncomfortable.

Bradford: Like Madonna.

Kaykas-Wolff: Yeah, so the kind of backstory and what’s important for everybody that’s in the audience to know is that this podcast is not a pitch for a product, it’s not about a company, it’s about the Bay Area. And the Bay Area is kind of special, but it’s also a little bit fucked up. I think we all kind of understand that, being here.

So what we want to do in the podcast is talk to people who have a very special, unique relationship with the Bay Area, no matter creators that are company builders, that are awesome entrepreneurs, that are just really cool and interesting people, and today we are really, really lucky to have an absolutely amazing entrepreneur, and also pretty heavy hitter in the technology scene. In a very specific and very special category of technology that Sunil really, really likes. The world of dating.

Rajaraman: Yeah, so it’s funny, the backstory to this is, Jascha have both been married, what, long time-

Kaykas-Wolff: Long time.

Rajaraman: And we have this weird fascination with online dating because we see a lot of people going through it, and it’s a baffling world, and so I want to demystify it a bit with Amanda Bradford today, the founder CEO of The League.

Bradford: You guys are like all of the married people looking at the single people in the petri dishes.

Rajaraman: So, I’ve done the thing where we went through it with the single friends who have the app, swiping through on their behalf, so it’s sort of like a weird thing.

Bradford: I know, we’re like a different species, aren’t we?

from Social – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/30krsws Original Content From: https://techcrunch.com

[chloemill]

On jury duty, a Tinder date and what’s in my coat pocket

GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM/BALTIMORE/AMERICA depending on your taste in entertainment!

It has been, honestly, a fucking eternity since I last wrote and by that I mean about two years maybe? I don’t know how any of us POSSIBLY carried on that long without hearing my bullshit thoughts in a long-form medium. I did okay because lucky for me, I get to hear said thoughts running through my head 24 fucking 7, which is why I have emotional problems best addressed with a mental health professional - BUT! We beat on, blogs against the current

Seeing as I just rolled back into town, I’ll give a brief State of the Union: I work in fitness now, which is, as you might’ve guessed, an absolutely thrilling environment for someone extremely fraught with body image issues! Just kidding.* It’s going rather well, I think. I waited tables for three plus years, and those of you who have ever interacted with me for more than 30 seconds are probably aware that I am... shall we say... not the right fit for the profession. I’m pretty good at turning it on and pretending like I give a shit (I have a very expensive degree in the theatrical arts to prove it) up to a point. But then people start acting like assholes and my tolerance level for that tomfoolery is subzero, so I really can’t be messing around in in the restaurant industry anymore. I’m pretty sure they don’t miss me, either, though.

More life updates - I am single now which, of course, means I have been on Tinder and as the prophet Troye Sivan once said, My My My! do I have thoughts on that. I’m thinking actually that maybe I should do a full post on it? Yes? Later? Tell me if I should so I actually do it because we all know I can’t motivate myself to type anything longer than 280 characters. Names and pictures will be blocked out to protect the innocent BUT, as a teaser, I will tell you briefly about one date I went on a few months ago. We had a perfectly lovely time getting drinks and chatting and I was like wow what a grand old time that was! The next day I went back to his profile to stalk him a little more and saw that, in the twelve hours since last we saw each other, HE ADDED “Still looking for someone that meets my high standards!” TO HIS BIO and proceeded to (unsuccessfully) hit me up for sex three (3) nights in a row. Naturally, I ghosted him because 1. k and 2. ……..k? He is currently a law student at a very Prestigious™ school so hopefully he can meet a maiden fair in those hallowed halls that meets these elevated standards. Apparently the bar was set a little lower for after-hours activities, but everyone’s gotta compromise somewhere I guess

NOW THAT THE UPDATES ARE OVER, it’s only fair that I tell you about my day. Those of you who are following along on Twitter (colloquially known as The Hellsite) might already know that I am currently being a beacon of truth, power and JUSTICE at jury duty. This, somewhat embarrassingly, was my fourth, count ‘em FOURTH summons. My first, which I think was in 2017?, I postponed because I was out of town. The second - which honestly I was planning to not mention until about thirty seconds ago when I decided, fuck it - I straight up forgot about until I found the paper a few months after the date and was like “hm, surely this isn’t bad enough to warrant jail?” and forgot about it again. The third I postponed yet again because my parents were in town and didn’t they deserve the pleasure of their eldest daughter’s company for a few goddamned days, after all they’ve done for me? And then the great city of New York sent me a letter in the mail saying “get your negligent ass down here and schedule a time in person or we are going to smack you down HARD with the hand of the law” (I have loosely paraphrased but this was the gist).

So in maybe November-ish, I went downtown, straight up terrified I was going to get fined or in trouble somehow or something, but they just politely let me pick a day to serve and were like ok, see you then, loser! Frankly, the most significant thing about that day was going through the metal detector on my way in. They don’t make you take your coat off (nice!) but you do have to empty your coat pockets (boo!) but I didn’t have anything in my pockets (nice!) so I started walking through. Just before I did, though, the security guard asked me to check my pockets one more time, and as I am a Woman Of The Law now, I obliged. Turns out there was something small in my pocket, felt kinda like paper but I figured hey, may as well take it out just in case! Reader, I wish I was joking when I tell you I pulled a goddamn (unused) at-home UTI testing strip out of my pocket in front of God and everyone. I don’t know why I had it in my pocket and I don’t know how long it had been there, but there it was, plain as fucking day and marked in BIG OL’ LETTERS for the world to read. To make matters worse, they’d already sent my bag through the x-ray, so I had nowhere to stash it. With what I can only assume was primal, animalistic terror in my eyes, I scanned the area for a trash can, but found nothing. So I was forced to gingerly place my UTI testing strip in this poor security guard’s hand - a man just trying to make an honest living, who asked for none of this - and the eye contact we made was some I won’t soon forget.

Needless to say, today I TRIPLE checked my coat pockets (one check for every jury duty summons I rebuffed, how apropos!) before walking through the x-ray and we thankfully, we suffered no similar surprises. I have been in this room for about five hours, plus an unnecessarily long lunch break. Highlights include, but are not limited to:

1. The EXTREMELY early 2000s video they make you watch explaining how a courtroom works, featuring many actors saying things like “No further questions, your honor.” and “The jury has reached a verdict!” and “We are showing you this because you are all idiots and you can do absolutely fucking nothing about it”

2. The man next to me who is snoring loudly. I hope wherever he is right now, it’s peaceful

3. The minor lap dance I recently gave said sleeping man next to me whilst trying to climb over him to walk to the water fountain without waking him up (fortunately or, depending how you feel about me, unfortunately for him he didn’t wake up)

4. An elder several rows in front of me who keeps hacking so loudly I want to escort him to the nearest urgent care :(

5. The first hour of waiting, when I, scrolling Twitter, clicked a video of those stupid fucking Covington Catholic school boys without realizing my volume was all fucking way up and a muffled “IT’S NOT RAPE IF YOU LIKE IT” played from my phone in this silent ass room for all my fellow Americans to hear. Sorry guys

6. Had a nice salad a little bit ago

7. Wrote this

8. Only a couple hours left!

9. But they haven’t called a SINGLE name which probably means I’ll have to come back tomorrow :(

10. I’ve forgotten what the original premise of this list was so it’s time to stop

If I’m stuck here again tomorrow all day in this dry ass dusty ass room that makes my eyes hurt, I will surely post again. If they have mercy and release me, well, let’s hope I’ll post again because honestly it took two years to get to this point and it took being trapped in the same room for six hours for me to crank this out. Till next time - take care of yourselves, fuck those MAGA kids and please remember to check your pockets before you approach a metal detector

*I am not kidding

[writeouttaluck]

A Story about racing i guess.

Stupid class...stupid people...I can almost feel my hands clutching around the steering wheel, the World coming to a blur past my windshield, the float of a complete speed machine pushing its limits.

“Frank…We've been through this before...Is today gonna be the day you open up and tell us why you're here?”

“...Not a chance…”

“Ok then...Ricky?...”

Every wednesday night, I had to come to this court mandated AA class because I had got caught drinking and driving ONCE. It's actually laughable considering what they could have caught me with a few hours before the arrest…

I was sitting idle in a 1988 Ford Foxbody Mustang set up with a 5.7 Liter V8 Corvette engine under the hood. Simple in concept, but a weapon on the track, or in this case, street. Crowds of custom cars ranging from ricers to muscle to sleepers to rats sat parked in the abandoned parking lot of an old book store. All of us were there for some type of motive; reputation, money, like minded people, and of course, racing.

I had followed a big classic ford square body to the scene. Two wire bridges across a refinery plant, little to no traffic at this time, and a small variety of people ready to push their cars to the absolute limit.

The big truck was owned by this guy called lil Joe. Now, Joe wasn't little in any possible way as far as his love life or parking garage was concerned. He was always driving the biggest truck, with the biggest engine, and participating the most in the biggest races. He always showed up with the hardware required. This case was simple, cones and road blocks at both ends of the bridge with look outs on both ends. Each look out had radios hooked up to lil Joe’s CB in his classic truck.

I sat in the sleeper mustang across from a ricer sedan. I get the appeal, cheap engine swap, cheap parts, cheap speed but ricers just aren't for me. The way I look at it, Japan is a small country with small roads and little to no need for all 8 cylinders. In the states, however, It was a necessity.

Or maybe i'm just ignorant to culture, I don't know.

But I did know that I was gonna smoke the competition tonight.

We watched as the flag girl climbed out of Lil Joe’s truck and walked her way past our cars. Admittedly, I olged her a bit more than what was necessary.

Thank god for tinted windows.

She stood in between the two cars with the flag raised high. I revved the engine and looked across to the car beside me. He was a younger kid with snapback hat and a few face piercings. He looked cocky. I grinned an evil grin when his face dropped at the mere sound of my car.

At least he knew what he was getting into.

The flag dropped, my foot slammed the gas pedal down. One full rotation and my tires caught, propelling me forward. I hit the clutch and shifted rapidly as the car climbed gears. The street lights ignited my interior in a strobe as I passed under. I looked in my side mirrors to see the ricer far behind me.

Then I saw something a little troublesome. A blue flash from behind the car, and suddenly the little Honda was making its way closer to me at a quick speed.

I found myself looking over to see the bumper at mirror level with me.

Not tonight.

I layed the gas to the floor as hard as I could and shifted once more. We came neck and neck to the first turn. I came into the turn and slammed the ebrake back. I turned left, then right, and put the brake down, slamming on the gas once more. My tires spun and caught, no burnout in this race. Without a look in the mirror, I started shifting rapidly again.

I was not going to lose this.

I was getting sucked back into the seat, the world flashing by around me. I looked down to the speedometer to see the dial bouncing off the limiter like a jackhammer. I had little to no control on the car at this point, my entire life in the vehicle's hands as I broke 125 on this short stretch.

I saw the finish line coming up quickly but what I saw in the rear view mirror caused me to lay the gas down once again.

The Honda was on my ass again, gaining me.

The crowd waiting ahead started running to the sides in fear of the cars not stopping. I zipped across the thin spray painted line on the asphalt and immediately slammed the breaks, downshifting as fast as I could.

I spun in the process and was now holding onto my steering wheel for dear life. I closed my eyes, accepting my fate.

My car finally stopped to a skid and came to rest. Before I had even gotten my bearings, I whipped open the door to my car and stepped out.

Dizziness, confusion, and rage were all across my features. I stomped towards the crowd closing in on me, focused solely on beating the shit out of this kid for fucking up my car.

Most of the people who had came to watch the race already knew who I was and what My size was capable of. Not exactly tall, but 5 feet tall and 4 feet wide and jacked can still do a lot of damage. They met me and tried to stop me. About 30 different people grabbed my shirt trying to hold me back. I pushed a few out of the way and shook a couple more off me.

I waded through and saw the skinny man getting out of his car.

He took his hat off and wiped his brow, oblivious to my anger towards him.

“Solid race. Huh? I almost got you there-”

I grabbed him by his shirt and socked him once in the stomach. He doubled over and coughed.

I leaned in and whispered in his ear.

“If you ever put me in danger like that again, im gonna find where you live, and im gonna break both your legs. Got me?”

“What did i even-”

I slapped him hard, my calloused mechanic hands leaving a mark along his jawline.

“Do you understand me?”

He looked up at me in fear, knowing that I meant every single world.

I threw him to the ground and stormed back to my car.

The crowd watched me and steered clear. As I came across my car, I saw the large crack in the rear bumper and the scratches left behind.

I got tapped on the shoulder and whirled around like I was gonna kill whoever was behind me.

“Woah! Frank chill out man! I got your earnings from tonight” Lil Joe handed me a stack of cash.

I took it and started counting it.

“It should come out to a few grand” Lil Joe told me.

“...Awesome. Thank you Joe” I said sincerely.

“So what the hell happened out there?” He asked me, “I was busy collecting bet money”

“I was winning the race when that little shit used nitrous. I wanted to win so I floored it. When we crossed the line that little fucker hit my rear end and I fish tailed. He's lucky no one got hurt because I probably would have gotten out and made him eat his teeth” I said, spitting on the ground as if the mere mention of the kid disgusted me.

“Look man, you've been at this for a long time. You're a great racer but you gotta keep in mind that there's a new generation moving in. Hes a new kid to an old scene and he's just trying to fit in here.”

“He fucking ran me off the road!” I shouted back.

“Maybe so, but tell me you never fucked up when you first started racing”

The image of a younger me accidentally scratching several cars by getting too close flashed before my eyes.

“I guess, but i'm not gonna be nice to him until he earns my respect. And lets just say that tonight was a shitty first impression.” I told Joe sternly.

“That's fine I suppose. But hey, I got a few more races lined up. A few people liked what they saw in that last race and wanna try you out. What do you think? Is your car still up to preform?” He crossed his arms as he asked me.

After a spin out like that I knew that I should have listened to my instincts and simply said no to the request. But my need to go fast won over everything else.

“Ill race” I told him.

…

6 more races, 5 more wins, and a little stack of cash for whatever I needed to repair. I drove over to a liquor store in the thick of night and picked up a six pack. I didn't hesitate to start drinking from the cans as I made my way back to my place. A few blocks short of my apartment, I saw police lights come on behind me.

Shit.

I slammed on the gas and to my dismay, a loud pop greeted my ears. I stuck my head out of the window to see that one of my tires actually exploded, leaving me coasting on the rim. I reluctantly pulled over and accepted whatever was about to happen. Those last races really screwed me this time. I must have burnt one of the tires or something when I spun.

…

So there I sat a few months later. I smirked thinking about what the cops could have gotten me for and how they didn't.

Its kind of funny when you think about it.

[mylifethroughmyeyes-ab-blog]

Thadeous

He was a senior when I was a freshman. He was captain of the football team, lacrosse team, and student body president, he was arguably the most popular guy in his grade. It is safe to say his high school experience was a little different than mine, considering I spend my time primarily with Graci, my only friend. Sure I have other friends at school but those are school friends, I never talk to them outside of school. Now that I've painted the picture of who he is and who I am you can understand why he never noticed me. Why he had no idea I even went to his high school. Why it is now my junior year and I happened to see the senior that I had a huge school girl crush on for the past two years. It’s not like I've thought about him every day for the past two years, but here and there I look at his IG or think about what “Thad” is doing. I’ve heard his reputation. He had the reputation of the drug-y dropout. But I always had a different image of him, I remember his senior power point slide, he wanted to go to law school and had ambitions. He was this idea I had. I had a dream that some years down the road we would meet up at law school. (yes somehow we would both end up at the same law school, ignore the improbability of it all I know how stupid it was) We would fall in love and we would both talk and find out we’re both from Pittsburgh only to continue and find out we went to the same high school, and we would talk about how close we were then and how we just missed each other and it was fate that brought us together. That was my freshman fantasy. About him. He always had a small place in my heart. That is why when I found him on tinder, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to swipe right, whats the harm right? If you know tinder you know how many matches you get. How very rarely does it turn into anything. Of course, I still thought of that fantasy I had and what are the odds of seeing him on here? After each pivotal point, I always think to myself “It couldn't go any further its not going to, he's a nice dream but that's its”. I honestly thought finding him on tinder and matching with him would be the highlight of my day, I mean matching with Thad, what more could I ask for?? well he texts me... but I get texts from almost every guy so its NBD... but then we start snapping.. and although I snap fewer guys there's still a bunch... again NBD right? then we start talking about hanging out. But how many people do you talk about hanging with.. sooo many so again NBD.. then we actually make plans. but people cancel plans all the time I mean what are the odds he actually shows up? Like I’ve had a crush on this guy (who previously didn't know i existed) since freshman year, and now we’re talking about hanging out??? At this point, he still has no idea that I'm not 19 (which I said I was in my profile) and the fact that we went to school together and mostly know ALL the same people. Talking about hanging out and actually hanging out are two different things. Until he shows up. (side note: nothing this lucky has ever happened to me, It has been many years since a guy of his place in the world has noticed me, I have been ditched and ignored by guys of lesser social standing than him. He was like a superstar at our high school, untouchable and this immense presence. it was a shock that he even paid enough attention to me to snap chat me, having him show up at my house was like a dream. It almost wasn't real). I didn't think he would come until I saw him with my own eyes, even then I think I was in shock. He wasn't just any senior, he was THE SENIOR I pined over, and thought about and made future plans that never in a million years could happen but here they are happening. If I died at this moment that would be okay. I feel so dramatic but to a person like me, in my social place at school, this is the best thing that will happen in the 4 years of high school. (This whole situation is so cliche just like a bad teen movie, but this was happenign to me in real life, tbh I still cant get over it) Boys don't talk to me at school. They don't notice me. and Thad isn't just another boy he is the Thad. That night we first slept together was amazing, (i don't remember a lot of it because another thing I did that night was drink more than I ever have before, which I highly regretted in the morning) I wasn't Ian amazing but it was close enough. I was prepared for it to end there. I mean its tinder, you hook up and never talk again. its what you do. but at this point, I had to stop being shocked because every moment from the time we matched became a shock and this was no different. after that night we not only talked (a lot) we saw each other again. I was starting school Friday and we saw each other Wednesday. It was the last hooray of summer. We slept together again (this time I can actually remember it all) Since Graci’s parents were home (last time they weren't) we had to find somewhere else to go. The only place we could find... the woods. But before we even were in the car for 5 min (Graci Thad and I) It gets brought up in conversation, how Graci and I know each other, (considering she lives in fox chapel and I live in Butler, side note: from this point before Thad assumed I went to Butler) I straight up tell him we both go to NC.... I figured it would get brought up in convo but I didn't expect it 1) so soon 2) With Graci in the car. Graci and I already knew to act like we had no idea he went there, so that's what we did. He was in shock and I pretended to be ( I guess I was still in shock I was with him at all) I knew he had family at the school but I guess the reality didn't really hit me until we talked about it. So the first thing we did was get that conversation out of the way, it was difficult but good. So we go to this park half a mile from Gracis house and there used to be a nice trail and a place to sit with a nice view, little did I know that wasn't there anymore, so we had very few options to choose from and we ended up on a hill in the middle of tall grass. At first, our chemistry is totally off. it's not like it was the other night, i remember thinking “ This is exactly what I was afraid of, it's not fun if I'm not drunk, and he’s boring and this is going so bad why didn't i leave it on a good note” It was just a bad start. Fast forward 30 minutes, we stop achieving nothing. but this failure leads to us talking. It was actually a really good talk, we sat and talked and laid together and weren't anyone but ourselves and it was such a pure form of intimacy. I was glad, we not only connected physically but spiritually I liked him. He was fun to talk to and easy and I just enjoyed it. and I think he enjoyed it too. After we talked for about an hour we did actually do it, we completed the psychical side of things, our chemistry may have been off at first but after getting to know each other more it was 100% back on. The sex was good, and I know it was for him too because he begged me to stay when we had to go. It was getting dark and we needed to go home, if we weren't on a time limit i would have stayed. After thsi day we continued to talk but starting school made me realize how crazy our relationship was, or how crazy I was to think we could be more than fuck buddies. I am still in highschool and he is a sophmore in college. Maybe one day is what we said to each other when I ended things. He agreed that it was a bad time (becuase fo the age difference) and he understood the secrets were hard for me (going to school and seeing his brother, who is practically his twin made it worse). I still have that hope of one day. Before I go off to college Im going to get in contact  with him, although I promised myself I would be a good person and not sleep around or party anymore. So thats what im going to do. (at least until I graduate) I want to see him again, but I will just have to wait. Although I did not feel for him what I did for Ian, he is still that senior boy freshamn me had a giant crush on. I cannot just forget that. It was an innocent fanatsy turned reality (which wasnt so innocent). summer 2017 changed everything for me. I dont feel the same after Ian and after Thad i see the world a little different. He will be my presious secret that i cherish forever. 

[topicprinter]

The following post is one I wrote over a year ago in a forum I was active in. It was written shortly after I fucked up a sale which I believed to be a sure thing.I felt like complete crap and remember just writing my feelings down as they came to me. The following post was written in a state of high emotion and from what I remember I let it flow without much editing. Hopefully it captures a feeling which some of you can relate to.This post is from my website here. I’ve copied it over exactly the same – but without the images (reddit doesn’t allow images in text posts).If you’d prefer to read it as it was intended click here (I personally feel the images add to the story). Otherwise, buckle up and read below..Quick backstory before we dive in:.I was trying to sell a prospect who was referred to me by an extremely happy client who absolutely adored me. Furthermore they had accepted me then fee of £75/hour without a second thought. Despite this I messed it up completely. And ass you'll see I felt like dogshit.I read this today with a little nostalgia in my heart. Today I'm fortunate to be in a good place business-wise. But the following account takes place when things were tougher. Let it be a reminder that we self-employed entrepreneurs ride an emotional rollercoaster which the employed will never truly understand. We walk this path alone, and it can (and will) mentally punch your lights out from time to time. What feels like the worst feeling in the world at the time will always pass, and as corny as it sounds, you'll come out not only tougher and more resilient, but also wiser. I assure you it's the ultimate blessing in disguise.Anyway I hope you enjoy the read and think on it whenever next you feel the same shitty way I did in this post.Without further ado the post....I Fuck Up A £125/hour Sale – And Now Doubt Everything About Myself.Failure is a bitch. A painful bitch. A bitch that will beat you up and make your entire life feel sour.Talk about a sombre start to an post right guys?Well I lost a sale yesterday. One which looked a sure thing. One where after initially quoting a mammoth fee of £930 every four weeks – being told it was too much – then asking what budget could he do – and him responding with £500 – I thought “fuck it, if he says £500 then that’s the minimum I can get[1]”.So I pushed for more. Initially £760 – then £640 – then £600 – and stood firm at £600. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, but I handled it wrong. I lost my cool, and let my aura slip into that of a pressuring salesman. In doing so sort of tarnished the relationship and trust I had created.There was a different air between us after I let this happen. He was polite and said he’d have to talk it over with his wife (I still don’t fully know how to handle that one). Anyway, he came back, said it was too much, but still wanted it. He asked if there was something else we could do. I fired back with a hugely reduced offering of services on my part for £520 – and made it my final offer.Him, polite as always, explained how he couldn’t do it. I had lost the sale. Had I played it better I would have nabbed it.So at this point you may be thinking this is an article where I’m beating myself up. One where I’m pissed off at myself and if I could go back in time I’d do things differently.Well DUH! Obviously if I could go back I’d do things differently. I could probably write out a long list of reasons where I fucked things up – but I’ll save that for another time.But I’m not mad at myself. I went for broke. I went for more. Something inside me said I could do it. And I went for it… and failed…Sadly sometimes you fuck things up. But hey, that’s the only way you get more in life.The average market rate for what I do is £22 per hour – I charge between £100 and £200 per hour (this depends on whatever I think I can get). And I got to this point by pushing the boat many times – and yep a few times I fucked up a sure-thing completely. That’s life.The problem is that when this happens you can’t help but feel shit.You begin to doubt your whole ability. You beat yourself up, replay the whole thing in your head, and mull on how you should have done this or that[2]. And generally a world of glum comes over your life where you begin to doubt the craziest things. There are few things more haunting and painful to the untrained mind than a near-miss you really wanted.Ever tried to seal-the-deal with a gorgeous girl, and screwed it up because you went for the kiss too quick?Ever went for a job interview for the “job of your dreams” wanted and decided to deviate from your planned answer because your gut and passion said so?Ever missed the winning shot for something by taking a glory shot, because something inside said you could make it?Ever found yourself one sword-strike away from defeating the mighty Ganon in the Legend of Zelda, decided to go for a low-odds attack to put the bastard in his place, only to miss and realise an agonising sharp pain shoot up your rectum just moments after you hear the thud of Ganon’s mighty hips thrust into your glutes as your realise he’s just butt-fucked you?[3]Everyone knows what I’m talking about. There are few feelings in this world more painful.Before I lost that sale I was in a great mood. I had recently closed a £150 per hour, and a £200 per hour. I was thinking about the possibilities of what I could do next. And here was another on its way – I felt invincible, I had a set formula that was working a charm. My whole outlook was lovely, and the sky was the limit.Then – BANG BANG – he shot me down….And my whole outlook changed. All that positivity dissipated. And those £150 and £200 client now seem like lucky flukes. Shitty thoughts pervade my head – “maybe I should lower my targets” – “maybe I’m not as good as I thought” – “is this even what I want?”I begin to doubt my dreams, my chances, and myself. It’s a miserable feeling man…Failure can hurt. No, failure ALWAYS hurts. And hurts like a bee-sting to the testicles. Intense and tear-inducing. And when it’s bad you doubt EVERYTHING.But remember friends there are only two people in this world. The first look at the statistics and think about the odds. They stick to the script. They know how stupid and bull-headed you need to be to think you can pull of a life us fools dream about. In a way they’re far smarter than us.The second is where we fall. We see that same statistics, know how unlikely we are to ever defy them, yet we like the arrogant bastards we are, actually have the audacity to think we’re special! We believe, despite the endless mental knocks and bruises we encounter along the way, that for some ridiculous reason think we can do it.We endure a lot more pain than the others. But we also experience more highs. Never forget the times we succeed. These are sweeter than nectar. These are what the others will never taste. And furthermore these accumulate. They change your entire being.I am no longer the same guy who left his job 30 months ago. I am better in every way. And will only continue to get better. Think about where you were, and where you are now. Think objectively and you’ll realise the same.I wish I could say that we’ll achieve our dreams. Unfortunately the statistics say we can’t all make it. I dunno about you, but I’ll make it. Don’t ask me why. Something inside me says I’m special…(Never stop dreaming my friends. Never.)..Side Rambles From Post Above.[1]This four week fee consists of me only working one week an hour – this £500 every four week fee is really £125 per hour. It was mine for the taking guys.[2]This does pass by the way. I no longer do it. I’ve realised that me pushing the limits – often excessively – is what leads to unexpected success. I’ve learnt to accept the failure – and so will you. But yes there was a time this used to kill me.[3] I’m not a big video games guy. Saying that the Legend of Zelda: A Link to the past was one of the most wonderful experiences of my childhood. The original PS1 Metal Gear Solid was another one. ....If you enjoyed this post then give it an upvote, and for godsake leave a comment.I wrote this post because I enjoy it and want to share. It takes time, effort and heart to write this thing. The last thing I want is to feel like I’m writing it for nothing. Your comments mean the world to me. The more positive response I receive the more I’ll continue to write and share my experiences.If you enjoyed the post you’ll probably enjoy my site The High Fee Club. The site is dedicated to significantly increasing fees for those of us who are good at what we do.For the record the site isn’t for newbies looking to start but who’ve never got a client – I don’t cater for that. But if you’re actually in business and good at what you do head on over here.Thank you guys so much for the response I've got on my previous posts here. It means the world to me. Naturally there's a few ballbusters who shout asshole and wanna scream me as a crap-peddler because I'm willing to link to my website.Hopefully some of you can resonate with what I've wrote and feel the authenticity of what I wrote (and even better if it helped a few of you).Please feel free to ask any questions around anything I've written (or anything else). For the record I won't reply to any passive-aggressive comments, but I'd love to answer any others (though I'll be busyish for a lot of the day, so please have patience).