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ri-ahhh · 4 years ago

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Hi, Riah! I was wondering if we could maybe get another part of MJ and Gray? I love them sm! Whatever you’re feeling up to writing is cool☺️

This has been in that pages document for forever just sitting there so why not post it haha I was trying to do everything slower and in a more sequential order but whatever

MJ was minding her own business in the kitchen of their new home one morning, standing in front of the Nespresso machine with a blank stare as her decaf blend streamed into her favorite mug. She’s now 25 weeks pregnant, and even though her second trimester is drastically better than her first, one symptom that continues to linger is the 24/7 exhaustion that makes her head pound and her body weak. She goes through this routine every morning of hoping that the smell and taste of her beloved coffee will trick her mind into thinking it’s caffeinated even a little bit, but to no avail.

Not to mention: her tits are heavy and sore; the baby is big enough to cause more back pain than ever; and, well, she just feels…gross.

That’s not to say she feels like this all the time. In fact, she quite enjoys being pregnant on most days. Despite the frequent tiredness, she’s definitely one of those glowing pregnant women, and she adores the fact that she’s lucky enough to be able to do something so miraculous as grow and carry a full on baby inside of her.

But mornings are usually the worst time for MJ, and it doesn't help any when her husband comes to join her, looking like sex on legs with his mussed hair, puffy lips and cheeks, and his bulky muscles lean from the early hour.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he mumbles, coming up behind her to nuzzle kisses into her neck, his morning scruff scratching her skin deliciously. He smells like sleep and toothpaste, and MJ happily tilts her neck back so his mouth can meet with hers. “Sleep okay?”

MJ shrugs and opens the carton of oat milk. “As good as I have been. Which is to say, not that great,” she answers honestly, pouring the creamy liquid into her steaming mug before stepping away from him to put the carton back in the fridge. She doesn’t like to complain, sometimes feeling guilty about doing so, but if she does have anything regarding her pregnancy that she needs to vent about, it’s always to Grayson considering it’s his baby causing all her problems. That, and he knows better than anyone that she wouldn't trade it for anything. “Your child has taken a liking to kicking me in the spleen at random hours throughout the night, apparently.”

Grayson frowns sympathetically for a moment, but that quickly morphs into a soft smile as he drops to his knees in front of his wife. He truly hates the painful aspects she has to go through with this pregnancy, but nothing makes him happier than the sight he had walked in on just now — MJ in those yoga pants that hugged her ass even better than usual with the bit of weight she’s put on. A chunk of her skin exposed between the waistband and the hem of her pre-pregnancy camisole that’s stretched to capacity over the cute bump she subconsciously caresses while standing at the coffee maker. Hair piled in a messy bun. Eyes tired behind her oversized glasses but skin radiant. Swaying side to side and humming to herself as she waits for the brew to finish.

He lifts her shirt more so his lips can graze her taut skin, and places his hands on either side of her belly. “Baby girl,” he coos to the bump with a grin when he feels movement against his palms, “you gotta be good and let your mama get some rest. She’s working hard to grow you in there, she needs to sleep.”

MJ takes a sip of her latte and melts as she always does when he talks to their little bean. It’s like his voice is a magnet as she feels the familiar flutters of the baby moving inside her to find her daddy.

“She already loves you,” she murmurs when Grayson places a lingering kiss on her belly before standing again. “She goes crazy every time you speak.”

Grayson flushes happily and captures MJ’s lips sweetly, his tongue slipping into her mouth to taste coffee and her. He backs her up against the counter and never breaks the seal of their mouths as he takes her mug and sits it blindly on the granite behind her. Her arms wrap loosely around his neck and his hands run up and down her back until he reaches under her thighs to hoist her on the counter next to her mostly-full cup of coffee. He’s succeeded in awakening her more than it could, anyway.

They finally break apart, and Grayson’s hands move to her bump once again. MJ covers them with her own and smiles ruefully, resting the back of her head against the upper cabinets to look at him more fully, all kiss-swollen and glowing arguably as much as he always claims she is.

“Won’t be very long before I’m too huge for you to do that,” she jokes, laughing when he looks at her like she’s crazy.

“Not to brag, but have you seen me?” he questions rhetorically with a quirked brow, a hint of a smirk on the corner of his mouth. He flexes his arms, his biceps twitching beneath her slim fingers.

MJ shakes her head and bites her lip as her hands map the bulges of his broad shoulders and thick arms that would always get her panties wet on any given day, but have her halfway to jumping him now that she’s hormonal and horny all the time. He barely got in the door from the gym shirtless and sweaty the other day before she was blowing him in their foyer.

“Of course, Bear. Doesn't change that I’m barely over halfway through and already feel like I’m 1,000 pounds most of the time,” she says, scrunching her nose and locking her hands around his neck.

Grayson stares at her darkly, and she can actually feel the moisture collect in her underwear, just from that hazel smolder. “MJ, I know it has to be tough, growing a whole-ass person inside you. I hope you don't ever think I’m belittling that fact, but you’re so fucking sexy right now,” he assures, moving his hands to cup her jaw to make sure she was listening. “Know why?”

She finds that a little hard to believe, mentally noting the extra roundness in her face, and the faint but present stretch marks starting to paint the skin of her stomach, and the painful way her breasts have swelled. “Why?”

Gray drags his teeth along his lower lip and looks her up and down slowly until lustful, loving hazel meets intrigued green. “Because that’s my baby. Every time I look at you I think, ‘I did that. I put that in her.’” He lets out a little growl and kisses her again, apparently so caught up in his own words that he can’t resist her anymore. He pulls back with a hum as he continues. “And any time we go in public, it’s in the faces of everyone — mine. My wife, my baby, mine mine mine.”

He punctuates each ‘mine’ with a peck to her lips. MJ is a bit taken aback by his sincerity, but after a moment she smiles and holds up her left hand, where her three carat emerald cut diamond glitters in the sunlight streaming through the windows. “Was this hunk of rock not enough to stake your claim, caveman?” she asks with a giggle.

“Nope,” Grayson says, grabbing her hand and kissing the ring as he grins. “Had to prove my virility on top of marking my territory.”

She rolls her eyes playfully and wraps her legs around his trim waist. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, be a good Neanderthal and hunt down the food to make me a green smoothie.”

Grayson throws back his head and laughs, kissing her nose affectionately before extracting himself from her grip and doing as she asked. “Anything for my woman.”

#blurb #g blurb #grayson mj

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chac-ozai · 6 years ago

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WYD 2nite (Dadsona/Robert Small) drawn and written for @maxamillionbillion who liked the idea of Robert showing up to your house in his pajamas looking to chill.

Fic below cut>>>

He always does like to show up unannounced. Who the hell am I to turn him away? Man, it's late though, I check the clock and it's past midnight, and for someone who's getting as much grays as I am, that's just as good as being morning already...and that's juuuust when Robert gets going.

The house is empty, ever since Amanda left. When I get to the door, shuffling like the old man I'm becoming, it's already open. Robert's standing there in his pajamas, perched against the doorframe holding what I hope is my last copy Fortean Times he “borrowed” last week.

“Did you just pick my lock?” I ask- I wouldn't hold it over Robert honestly if he knew how. “-Or am I just being an idiot and leaving it unlocked again?”

“What, I never told you about the time I broke myself out of the pen in Gibraltar? 1978? Eh? Doesn't ring a bell?” Rob invites himself in, my eyes trail his pajama-clad legs and notice that the bottoms of his bare feet are green from a freshly mowed lawn.

“If you did, you're gonna have to tell me again.”

“Psh, It's old news. I'm lying by the way, you left your door open.” Robert had a package of lite-sodium popcorn in his tattooed hand, he stretches and rubs his graying hair vigorously as he throws the package onto my kitchen table as if he owned the place. “-And I thought I was the one losing my memory.”

“...Would you have broken the lock if I didn't answer the door?” I throw myself on the couch with plenty of room on the other side where Robert had recently been making “his spot”, it was right where Amanda used to sit when we would marathon Baked, Naked, and Caked on Netflix.

“Nah, wouldn't need to. Your windows are unlocked, too.” Robert presented this fact by easily swinging open my kitchen window, a smarmy little grin on his face.

“Well then, I guess the place is yours.” I have to admit it, “Where's Betsy?”

“Taking a dump on your lawn.” Robert reaches into my fridge and invites himself to my precious seltzer, I peek behind me out the still-open door and lo and behold there she was, beady little terrier eyes catching the light from my perfect, perfect lawn.

“Ah shit. I ain't going out there for that. Come on Bobby, if you're going to raid my fridge at least close the front door.”

“Ooooh~” Robert flailed his hands beside his head, mimicking a fussy Brooklyn mother “Yer gunna let the spiduhs in, Bobby.” After Betsy comes scrambling in, he kicks the door closed and leaves a tiny green smudge on the wood. Whatever, he's cute and he gets away with more shit than I should let him get away with.

“You'se the one who doesn't like spiduhs.” I mimic him, man that accent cracks me up. “So what's the occasion tonight? Anything worth keeping me up until 5 am this time?”

“Come on, every occasion is worth that amount of your time. Look,” He procured a USB stick from his pajama pocket- “I pirated the latest season of Forensic Files.”

“Oh great, this will definitely get me locking my doors and windows.” I stretch and watch as Robert squats in front of my TV, fiddling with the system he'd rigged up for us, cracking open his drink the meantime. My dad instincts tell him to keep the soda away from the electronics, but by the time I muster up anything to say he's already raising the volume on my TV, snapping his fingers in accomplishment.

“Aight. Aight, I think this is good. Sit tight, I'm gonna microwave this popcorn.”

“Aight.” I mimic him again, helplessly grinning as my best friend made full use of my kitchen. Betsy made herself welcome right on my lap for the two minutes that transpired of gradual pops turning into a cacophony of corn bursting from their husks. Robert was seemingly just staring at it spin in the machine, watching the bag bloat out, his mind somewhere else.

“Soo....how was therapy today?” I feel obligated to ask, I was the one who talked him into it.

“You know what? Not bad.” Robert cracks his neck, and after a brief incident of him futzing with the hot bag and almost dropping it all, he brings it over. “I think I've worked my way up to not talking about movies with her.”

“Well, it's a start.” I laugh, “At least you aren't inserting yourself into the Home Alone storyline anymore.” I practically bounce as Robert throws himself ass-first onto his side of my couch, tucking his feet under the blanket.

“Well it wasn't too far off, there where wet bandits.”

“As you've said.” He and I clink our seltzer's together, my best buddy and I wriggling into our seats and getting comfy.

“Alexa, turn off the lights.” I demand, and Rob's eyes bug out of his head-

“That thing again? Man, you need to shut that thing off, it's harvesting information out of you!” Robert lunges up out of the chair he'd just gotten comfy in and goes to unplug my Alexa, the lights having already gone out.

“What information could it possibly get out of me? How many times a day I take a dump?”

“You fool,you rube.” Robert takes my gadget and throws it under a pillow, effectively suffocating it. “That information is precious and belongs to you and you alone!” Bobby looks a little insane at that moment, something I never get tired of.

“Alright, calm down. Don't get a big dick over it.” Robert makes his way back to the couch and grunts as he throws himself back on it, a testy glance in my direction before pressing play.

“You'll see. One day you will.”

“Uh huh.” I humor him, reaching over and patting his blanket-covered knee. “That'll do, Bobby.”

An air of silence comes over us both as the TV comes to life, we've grown so accustomed to the companionable quiet since we've become best friends. Soon we're engrossed in a gruesome tale, and at times I sneak peeks over at Robert's face, his baby brown eyes reflecting gruesome images from the screen. He may be utterly entranced but I can never reach that level, not when he's across from me like this. He was talking at the screen, gesturing angrily-

“Fuckin moron, should have locked his doors. Anybody could just walk in and- ugh!” He rolls his eyes, I would be lying if I said I didn't love how intense he gets about these true crime shows. Every time he throws his arms out I catch a whiff of his cologne, that subtle freshness and sandalwood.

By the time the first episode was done and the second, and then third came and went, Robert leaps off the couch and makes his way to what I imagine is the bathroom. The light down the hall illuminated some creepy shadows down towards my bedroom, and my hair stands on end- I get up and start locking all the windows in my house.

“Eeeurgh.” I could hear Robert groaning from the bathroom with the door wide open, followed by an anticlimactic fart.

“That was a good one.” I could only laugh, man I hope by the time Amanda comes home for Thanksgiving I won't be regressed to a caveman, the way we two just let everything hang out.

“Don't say that, it sucked. What are you doing?” He reenters the room to see me testing the resilience of my kitchen window lock, I shoot him a guilty look and return to my post on the couch, Betsy having already made her bed for the night on my recliner.

“Oh you know, worrying.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Robert smiles and I kind of melt, kind of. “Alright, back to the show.” Without warning Robert yanks the blanket off of me and throws himself against me, wriggling his bare back against my chest, offering to be my little spoon. He pulls the blanket over us both and remains there without a word-

Man, this is the part of the night I love the most. Robert never admits it, never asks for it, but I know he's learned to appreciate the art of a good cuddle. I'd like to call myself a master, as I wrap my arm loosely around his, feeling the welcoming warmth of his bare skin. He squirms briefly and finds a comfortable place for his head, I don't mind his flyaway hairs blocking half the screen. I ain't worried about the show anymore.

I behave myself. It's hard to sometimes, Robert's cologne smells so good and he's so firm yet soft-skinned; it could bring a man to act on his impulses. I allow myself chaste touches, small comforting circles over his bicep, his hip. The hitching of his breath when I accidentally tickle him distracts me so much I am soon lost to the TV, it's just annoying noise muffling what I really want to hear.

Damn. Thoughts where wandering again. By the time Robert spoke up, his voice was croaky with sleep, he hooked his leg around mine and leans into me hard. “Think you got one more in you?”

“I think there's only so much double homicide I can get into before I start phasing out.”

Robert cranes his neck and turns to look up at me, his eyes bloodshot and exhausted. “Quitter.” He grins, “This'll wake you up.” The bastard suddenly presses the soles of his cold feet against my shins, I stifle a yelp-

“Herrrk- God damn, Fine, one more. One more.”

“Good.”

I don't think I even made it past the opening sequence. By the time I open my eyes again sun is filtering in through the locked windows, Robert was drooling freely onto the hand I had placed under his cheek. Man do I gotta leak, and I'm pretty sure I hear Betsy drinking out of the toilet; but I can't bring myself to budge and wake Bobby. I never could. Huh, wish I could reach my word jumbles from here.

I look at the clock, 5 am. I still have a few hours before work, I'm going to hold onto every second I have of Robert asleep against me as I can.

#Robert Small #Dream Daddy #dadsona #fanfiction #dream daddy fanfic #my gay art #dream daddy fanart

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thecleverdame · 6 years ago

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Businessman!Husband!Sam x Reader

Warnings: Smut

“Oh….oh,” a string of unintelligible sounds fall from your mouth as you straddle Sam, bobbing back and forth on his cock. He’s so deep, filling you nearly past your limit as you rock on top of him.

It’s just past one in the afternoon on a Thursday and Sam has his hands on your hips, watching you ride him in a room on the top floor of the Belmont Hotel. One of his hands trails up the skin of your belly, brushing the crown of your ribcage before cupping a breast in his wide palm. “You’re so beautiful like this baby.”

“Oh God Sam,” he’s looking up at you with half-closed eyes, clearly getting just as much pleasure out of this as you are. You fight the urge to close your eyes, instead opting to watch him. Your handsome, strong husband fighting to hold back his orgasm until you’ve reached your peak. Watching him is a little like having an out of body experience, sometimes you’re still not sure how you got this lucky. You’re right there, right on the edge, moaning and grinding your clit into his pubic hair. “I’m gonna come.”

Sam moves with the speed of a jungle cat, flipping you onto your back and fucking you down into the mattress before you even know what’s happening. His hands reach for your thighs, spreading your legs wide as he fucks you fast, his hard, thick cock sliding in deeper and deeper. You come like a goddess on display, back arching as your breasts press upward into his chest.

“Fuck baby,” he groans as you clench around his cock, squeezing with small, rhythmic contractions. He fucks you through it, drawing out every last second of pleasure and stretching it until you feel your eyes watering from the sheer intensity. Grunting into your neck like a caveman, you hear the sound of skin slapping skin as he comes, his orgasm spilling into yours as he spurts thick and warm inside your pussy. He shoves forward with less fervor, his frenzy waning before holding himself inside you. He lets his full weight rest over your body.

“Jesus,” he laughs, kissing you as both his hands push hair away from your forehead.

“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to walk out of here,” smiling you watch him lift his body, getting a bird’s eye view as he pulls his slick cock out and rolls onto his back.

“I can’t believe I have to go back to work,” he squeezes your thigh before taking a deep breath and sliding off the bed, padding naked to the bathroom.

Rolling onto your stomach you can see him through the open door, wiping himself off with a wet hand towel before smoothing his hair back into place.

“Are you going to be late?” You inquire.

“I never take a lunch,” he emerges from the bathroom clad in briefs, his eyes sweeping over the curve of your back before finding his suit pants. He glances at his watching before pulling on his white button up. “It’s only been an hour.”

You picked the Belmont because of it’s close proximity to Sam’s office building, it’s practically across the street. He smoothes his tie, leaning down to kiss you, grasping your jaw with his hand as he presses his lips to yours. You smirk when he pulls away, “better brush your teeth before you go, you taste like pussy.”

“I’m sure I do,” he winks and disappears back into the bathroom. “I’m going to take you to that French restaurant this weekend. The one Bill said his wife loves.”

“Ooo la la,” you sing-song. You can feel the slick between your thighs turning sticky the longer you wait without taking a shower. “I’m hungry now, maybe we should have actually eaten something.”

“Order some room service before you leave,” Sam saunters out of the bathroom now fully dressed, pulling at the sleeves of his suit jacket. “It’s not like this place charges by the hour, stay as long as you want.”

“I might,” you look at him as he leans down. “We should do this again, It feels kinda naughty to fuck my husband during his lunch break.”

“It feels naughty because I have to go back to work and pretend that I’m not thinking about your ass for the rest of the day,” he leans down and smacks you on the butt cheek. “I gotta go. I love you. I’ll see you tonight.”

“I love you too.” He kisses you one more time, leaving you on the bed as the door closes with a thud.

Breathing deeply you stretch long like a sleepy cat before grabbing the menu off the bedside table and wander to the bathroom.

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester smut #sam winchester fanfic

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 6 years ago

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Such a Softer Sin (Chapter twenty two)

(Chapter one) (Chapter two) (Chapter three) (Chapter four)

(Chapter five) (Chapter six) (Chapter seven) (Chapter eight)

(Chapter nine) (Chapter ten) (Chapter eleven) (Chapter twelve)

(Chapter thirteen) (Chapter fourteen) (Chapter fifteen)

(Chapter sixteen) (Chapter seventeen) (Chapter eighteen)

(Chapter nineteen) (Chapter twenty) (Chapter twentyone)

Long chapter.

Lila’s sick of feeling sexually frustrated and decides to take matters into her own hands, Murphys is all too willing to help her crack Connor.

Hot, heavy and fucking intense. Without further ado, the goods you’ve been waiting for. I’d apologize for making you wait so long, but I love a good slow burn and I’m a tease, so I’d be a liar!

@daryldixonandfrogs this is for you, for always reblogging and just being awesome! Enjoy! :’)

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A whole week had flown by before Lila had even realised it. Being in some sort of relationship with the twins was surprisingly easier than she thought it would be. They were their own separate people of course, but they fit together like jigsaw pieces and that made a whole entity of itself. She always had this low simmering anxiety about them thinking she was playing favourites when she wasn't, simply because she knew how they could get. Murphy was ridiculously needy and clingy, whenever the boys weren't at work, he was fucking attached to her hip, following her around like a lost puppy. It was endearing, well it was until she needed a piss a few days prior and she had to tell the poor boy off as he was stood literally just on the other side of the screen, talking animatedly about something or another. She couldn't pee with him right there and he had the decency to be embarrassed about not letting her piss in peace. Connor on the other hand, she had to seek him out. It wasn't that he wasn't affectionate or didn't care, but she had to go to him, not the other way around. He did this thing where when they would sit on the couch together, he would wrap his arm around her tightly, resting his hand over her heart. It made her feel stupidly safe, warm and fuzzy all at the same time. That and also a little turned on.

She never had one on one time with the twins for long. They took turns waking up with her, letting the other one sleep for a little longer to have some time with her. She knew they hated being separated, not being able to feel each other so clearly, and this way they were able to spend some time with their girl on their own, whilst they knew the other twin was close by and safe. Kissing them in front of the other took some getting used to, most times she expected them to throw punches just because she wasn't used to being...shared, or whatever the fuck this was. But they never did. At first they would kiss her on her own, the other twin off somewhere else in the apartment, doing whatever they wanted; reading, writing, cooking and such. It would get hot and heavy pretty quickly, making out like horny teenagers. But it never went further than that. One day found her cooking in the kitchen when Murphy kissed her, the next thing she knew, Connor was pressed up behind her kissing her neck. That was fun. It made her head spin and left her breathless, having that many hands and lips on her at once. But once again, it didn't go further. She was becoming increasingly frustrated about it with all their teasing kisses and touches. She knew they were taking it slow for her, because it was intense with the three of them. There was no middle ground. It was all consuming, swallowing you whole desire and feeling. It seemed like they wanted to ease her into it. She had a sneaking feeling Connor was the one pushing for them to take it slow. Murphy was all too eager and he'd even managed a sneaky grope or two up her shirt when they made out. It was always met by Connor muttering something in a language she didn't know, Murphy retorting, and escalating to them bickering about it.

She understood Connors hesitation, because he was the planner of the three, the thinker. He pushed his feelings aside to think things through and go with what he thought was the best course of action. But in this case, she didn't want thinking, she wanted doing. She wanted a fucking orgasm. Murphy was much more on her page with that one. He was always more intense when they kissed, touched her more, seemed more desperate. She knew without a doubt if she was left completely alone with him he would probably throw her on the bed and fuck her senseless. It was why Connor had not left them completely alone. She also had a feeling when he was ‘asleep’ in the mornings she was with Murphy, he was actually awake and just waiting for Murphy to fuck up.

Apart from that, everything was going smoothly. There had been no fights, the usual bickering but they wouldn't be the MacManus twins if they didn't bicker. She was thankful things seemed good, better than good even. She felt at home with these two, they made her feel cared about in their own ways and she wouldn't change them for the world.

They were at work and Lila had finished her routine cleaning of the apartment. She was sat at the dining table making a list of things to buy when her eyes landed on the mattresses. Murphy's had been abandoned. They all slept in Connors bed now, from the first night after they told her they were in love with her, she just stayed with them, the three of them found it hard to be apart. They hadn't told her they loved her since, and she hadn't ever said it to them. She did love them, but she also knew the only reason they said it at all was the pure desperation behind her leaving. It wasn't that she didn't believe them, because they had been showing her they loved her in their own ways. But she felt like they hadn't been ready to say it, they had been forced to by the circumstance and she felt like since this was all so new to them, and really fucking intense, they needed more time before those words appeared once again. She didn't even know what they were technically. Was she their girlfriend? Were they her boyfriends? They hadn't really talked about it or what it was officially and she was afraid to ask. She knew the boys had only had casual relationships, and whilst they hadn't spoken to another girl since the birthday incident, she worried a little that maybe it was serious more on her behalf than theirs.

She sighed a little as she glared at the mattresses and she suddenly got an idea. Sleeping on one mattress was no easy feat for three fucking people, and at least once a night she was woken up by a grumbling twin after they'd rolled off the edge. She jotted bed down on her list and smiled. She knew the boys wouldn't like it, they never did when she spent money on them. But this was for her as much as for them, and it also made it seem more permanent. Getting them one big bed. She knew she'd need to sweeten the deal a little, butter them up, and that lead her to phase two of her plan. She smirked to herself, standing up and grabbing her jacket before heading out the door.

The deli was right by the furniture store and her eyes lit up as she saw her favourite caveman walking out with a bag full of food.

“Rocco!” She called out with a grin, making her way over. He looked around confused until his eyes landed on her, walking over to meet her with his usual lovable grin on his face. He wrapped her in a tight hug before moving away.

“Lila, what are you doin’ here?” He asked with a smile, acting like he was so happy to see her even though they had seen each other the night before when she worked at the bar.

“Just running errands, looks like you're doing the same?” She asked with a snort as she gestured to the bag. He rolled his eyes with a grumble before giving her a grin. She knew he hated his job but he couldn't get out of it. If she was honest, she was scared for her friend. She knew too well the destruction the mob could bring and she feared for him. Hopefully he’d just stay an errand boy and they'd never feel the need to fucking get rid of him.

“Yeah, I can’t stop long, gotta get back to the boss man. You workin’ tonight?” He asked, already knowing the answer and she laughed a little at his ridiculous question.

“I work every night Roc.” She smirked, poking his side a little and making him huff a laugh.

“Hey, you know what, you and me should grab breakfast sometime, I feel like we never get to hang out just us.” She suggested with a beaming smile that he knew he’d never be able to say no to.

“You sure thing 1 and thing 2 will be alright with that?” He snorted, making her bark out a loud laugh.

“Yes, if not they can deal with it. I’m entitled to a life Rocco.” She stated with a sassy eye roll. He nodded and scratched his beard. She was right after all.

“Yeah I know. Besides, I think I’m the only guy that can be around you without them wanting to tear limbs off.” He gave her a goofy grin and she chuckled at him. He gave her another hug before he was off again and she made her way to the furniture store.

A few hours later and Lila was back at the loft looking adoringly at the new queen sized bed in the place of the two tatty mattresses. The delivery men from the store had graciously offered to help put it up for her and even take the old mattresses out to the dumpster. She had a feeling it was because they found her attractive since their eyes were glued to her boobs and ass, but hey, if you can't use the perks of being a woman to your advantage, then what's the point right? After the men left, she set about making the bed up nice. It had a mahogany headboard that matched the dining table, she was a sucker for matching furniture and since the loft was essentially one giant room, she didn't want the bed and table to clash. She put a deep purple sheet over the mattress, her favourite colour, and the pillowcases and quilt cover were black with a geometric gray design on them. It bit manly for her taste, but she knew she needed to sweeten the boys up so they didn't have an aneurysm when they saw the fucking thing as they walked in.

She smirked over to the bag on the table, something that would surely sweeten them and she knew without a doubt that Murphy would take the bait, hell Murphy would bite without the fucking bait, it was Connor really that she needed to crack. Lucky for her, she thought herself quite the seductress when she needed to be. She always got her own way. She felt excitement and nerves bloom in her stomach, excitement because she hoped to fuck she would be satisfied before it was time for work, and nervous because part of her really thought Connor wouldn't take the bait. Sometimes the man was too hard headed and controlled. She grabbed the bag, not needing to use the screen since she was alone. When she was done, she looked in the mirror. She couldn't remember the last time she wore something so sexy. She was wearing a black lace babydoll with matching lace french knickers. The babydoll was sheer and she could see her own nipples clearly, the French knickers were small and her ass cheeks were barely covered, she felt sexy and she smirked to herself. She slipped on one of the boys' robes, the smell told her it was Connors, and she tightened it so they wouldn't know what she was wearing underneath, for all they knew it would be Murphys t-shirt she slept in.

She started getting the lasagna ready, they wouldn't eat right away today, she had plans after all. She was setting it in the oven just as the door burst open, the twins laughing and shoving each other as usual. They stopped dead when they glared at the new addition to the apartment, the queen size bed was hard to miss and it was the fanciest thing they'd ever fucking seen.

“What the fucks this?!” Connor asked in his shrill tone, the one that meant he was instantly offended she had dared to spend money on them. She turned to face them, both twins looking at her. Murphy looked shocked, if he was honest he was a little choked up, always the sentimental one. The fact she had bought them all one bed meant she had no intentions of going anywhere. The gesture meant she was all in, there was no other mattress for her to slink off to if she wanted. There was no going back from this. Connor just squinted suspiciously at her, once again using his head and not his heart.

“Well sweetie, it's a bed, you sleep in it.” She said patronisingly with a smirk, even Murphy had to snort at the sass coming from her mouth. Connor shot his brother a glare for encouraging her and Murphy bit his lip to stop more laughter coming out. Connor looked back at Lila, narrowing his eyes at her unimpressed.

“Ha ha, I gathered that much. Why the fuck is it here?” He asked exasperatedly.

“Because I wanted a real bed. So I bought one. Or am I not allowed to buy myself things now?” She asked as she tilted her head defiantly. She had a point, Murphy could see that, Connor didn't like it but he heaved a sigh. He knew there was no point arguing with her and he didn't want a repeat incident of the car.

Lila looked at the both of them, a sly smirk spreading across her lips as she sauntered over to the bed, stopping in front of it and turning to face them.

“Besides, a real bed will be a lot comfier for...other things.” She grinned mischievously, the robe sipping from her and pooling on the floor. The boys took a sharp intake of breath in unison, their eyes burning holes into her skin as they roamed her body. They'd never seen her like this before, they thought she looked sexy after she dolled herself up on their birthday, but this, this was something fucking else. They could see her breasts, the first proper time they'd ever laid eyes on them and she looked a fucking vision. Like a dark angel, all for them.

“Holy mother o’ God.” Murphy whispered to himself as he swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing at the motion, unable to tear his eyes off the lass. He could already feel his cock stirring in his jeans and he knew his brother was feeling the same.

“Lila…” Connor warned, taking a shaky breath as he tried to quell the surge of desire inside of him. She looked fucking delicious and he was having to urge to pounce on her, but they needed to take things slow, he needed to control himself.

“Fuck this.” Murphy muttered, stalking over to the girl and pulling her close. He crashed his lips onto hers and it reminded her so much of their first kiss, so much passion and fire behind his desire.

She moaned into the kiss, winding her hands around his neck and tugging on the hair at the base of his skull. It tore his own moan from his lips that she happily swallowed. Suddenly the beautiful lips were torn from her as Connor grabbed Murphy and yanked him away. Lila and Murphy were panting heavily and both turned to glare at Connor.

“No! We need te take it fuckin’ slow! The fuck are ye both doin’?!” He frowned, looking at them both like he was telling off naughty children. Murphy looked ready to punch his brother in his stupid fucking face, his cock was practically fucking throbbing by this point.

“Fuck taking it slow Connor! We’re all consenting adults, why are you being this way?!” Lila yelled, getting agitated by his constant rejection.

“What she said!” Murphy added with a scowl. Connor didn't reply, instead he walked away, pacing a little with his back to them as he tugged his hair. It was obvious he was having some kind of internal struggle, no doubt his head vs his heart.

Lila licked her lower lip before glancing at Murphy, she wanted him in on the next thing she was about to do, because if he wasn't, things could go south pretty fucking quickly with the boys temper the way it was. She cupped his cheeks and closed her eyes, making Murphy look at her confused. She wasn't sure if this would even work, she hadn't done it since the day Murphy had told her about it and Connor had shown her, but she hoped it would. She didn't kiss him, didn’t fucking talk and he wondered what the fuck she was doing, but then he heard it.

‘Don’t be mad’. She hadn't spoken the words verbally, but he heard them loud and clear, it shocked him a little at how clearly he had been able to hear it but he was unsure what the fuck it meant. Why would he be mad? He didn't have the chance to ask as she let go, turning back to Connor who was still facing away and pacing.

“You know what Connor, I’ve got needs. And if you two don't want me, I can find someone who does.” She sneered, glaring at the back of the lighter haired twins head. Murphy's head whipped to her, rage filling his body, but then it clicked. ‘Don’t be mad.’ It was a warning, she hadn’t meant those words, she was warning him of what her plan was so he didn’t get upset. She was baiting his brother, and he was more than happy to play along to push this to where he wanted it to go.

“The fuck does that mean?” Murphy yelled outraged, but she could see in his eyes no anger really there. The man was a good actor. Murphy had noticed how Connor stilled, he was breaking, he almost smirked to himself.

“It means I’m sick of the sexual frustration. It means I’m sick of being teased and never satisfied. I can find plenty of men who are willing to make me cum.” She stated, smirking at Murphy as she saw his eyes darken just slightly. He knew she didn't mean it, but he knew that plenty of men out there would fucking love to make her cum, and it made him incredibly possessive all of a sudden. His right hand twitched a little as he tried to restrain himself and not blow the plan, her smirk made it obvious she knew she had pushed his buttons and he squinted at her a little, his own smirk spreading across his lips as she blew a sassy kiss his way.

Connor turned around, his eyes dark much like his twins and he stalked over to her slowly like a predator.

“No other man is touchin’ our lass. Ain’t that right Murph?” Connor growled not even looking to his brother, his eyes locked on Lilas now wide eyes as he backed her up until she felt the bed hit the back of her legs. He was being a sexy bastard and she could feel her body reacting.

“Damn right brother.” Murphy replied with a smirk, grabbing a kitchen chair and straddling it backwards. He leant his arms across the back and rubbed his lip as he watched the pair with rapt interest. The way his twin had cracked so easy, the bulge in his jeans giving him away as he stared the girl down. The way Lilas' chest was heaving a little, her skin flushed and her eyes wide. She was clearly aroused. Murphy thought back to the day at the diner when he called her a naughty lass using his low voice. She had responded this way then too. It seemed the little pretty thing liked to play submissive in bed, and Murphy couldn't wait to explore that with her.

Lila was frozen in place, all bravado gone as her desire for the pair came into full bloom. Connor ran his nose along her neck to her ear, making her shiver. His hand slid down her stomach at a painfully slow rate as he made his descent to her panties.

“Ye want this sweetheart?” He purred in her ear, his fingers slipping into her underwear and slowly teasing her slit. Her breathing hitched and she nodded, unable to trust her voice right then. He groaned in her ear feeling how soaked she was for them and he rubbed teasing slow circles around her clit. It tore a delicious moan from her full lips and she gripped his biceps so she didn’t fall into a heap on the floor. Murphy bit his lip, a rumble of a growl in his chest as he stood up, removing his shirt and kicking off his pants as he went.

“Enough o’ this, I've waited long enough.” He griped as he went over. Connor turned to look at his brother, Lila leaning her head on Connor's chest as she moaned and arched against his hand. The twins locked eyes for a moment, sharing a look. Murphy knew Connor could be intense in bed, he’d shared a few lasses with him, hell he’d even been trying to sleep a few times after Connor had brought a lass home. But this was a whole other ballgame. The darkness in his twin's eyes. He had fully let go, something he never did, and something inside Murphy told him this was why his brother was hesitant in the first place. Because he knew this with Lila was different and he wouldn't be able to hold back once he crossed that line.

Lila whined pitifully when Connors' fingers left her and he chuckled a little, raising his fingers to her mouth. The look in his eyes made her knees weak and she complied, opening her mouth and sucking his fingers clean. Murphy couldn't wait any longer watching that sexy scene and he shoved her back on the bed, making her squeal a little, she didn't expect it. She was more than willing to be manhandled as he flipped her onto her stomach and moved her further on the bed silently. The whole energy was intense, the air thick with desire. He placed her so her head was at the end of the bed facing his brother and she was on all fours. Connor already knew what the drill was, this wasn't their first rodeo so to speak. Lila didn't though, she had never done this before so she let them lead her and excitement sang through her veins.

Murphy ripped her panties off her, literally ripped them with an audible tear and she almost said something. Almost. Connor shucking off his jeans and top in front her distracted her, his eyes were locked on hers as he shed his boxers too and her breathing hitched at seeing him naked for the first time. He was fucking exquisite. She couldn't see Murphy but she could feel him moving around on the bed and she looked up through her lashes at Connor as he stepped closer to her, stroking himself leisurely. She suddenly felt arms lock around her thighs and she moaned loudly when she felt Murphy's tongue give her a teasing lick. Connor used the advantage of her open mouth to slide his cock in, her eyes widened in shock for a moment before she relaxed. Connor ran a hand through her hair as he started thrusting into her mouth carefully, and she moaned around his cock as Murphy started licking circles around her clit. She couldn't help herself as she ground her hips to him wantonly. She felt him groan against her, the vibrations only heightening the pleasure as she continued to take Connor in as far as she could. He was big and he was honestly impressed when his cock hit the back of her throat and spasmed around him.

The pair set a punishing rhythm on her, Connors' hand wound in her hair as he thrust a little faster. His moans mingled with Lilas filling the loft and Murphy's cock was aching at the sounds. Murphy let go of one of her thighs, the other tightening around it as he added his fingers to the mix, sliding two inside of her soaked entrance. She gasped around Connors cock and bucked her hips a little. Murphy could feel she was close, feeling her walls flutter around his fingers as he continued to suck and lick her clit. He gave his brother a mental nudge that she was close and Connor thrust even faster into her mouth, feeling his own release coming up. Murphy and Connor had a system of sorts when it came to sharing lasses, to make sure they would both be satisfied. And they both knew in this case, they would both get their own turns with her with everything. Sex, blow jobs, hand jobs. There was no need to feel sour if they both didn't get to fuck her this time because it would happen anyway eventually. They had talked at length about how they would approach this with Lila, even before they had got together with her. They were boys after all and she was fucking gorgeous. So it was already planned out that Connor would cum in her mouth and Murphy would get to fuck her afterwards. Connor had a thing about watching, he didn't mind watching the pair after he was satisfied. Plus Murphy was needier, and he had no issues with giving his brother what he wanted. He couldn't deal with the bitching if he didn't.

Lilas muffled moans were getting more desperate and her body was writhing, she could feel the pleasure welling up inside of her and she suddenly cried out around Connor as her body tensed up. She couldn't remember it ever being this intense before, it felt like it lasted forever and she saw fucking stars. Connor growled loudly, the grip on her hair tightening as he bucked harshly, spilling himself inside of her mouth. Her moans and her face as she came had pushed him over the edge. He removed his cock and was more than pleased when the lass swallowed every drop of his cum. He and Lila were both panting heavily and she gasped when Murphy placed a soft kiss on her clit before moving out from under her. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, watching as Connor helped Lila out of the babydoll she was wearing and help her lay down on the pillows properly before she collapsed and he lay next to her on his side of the bed. She looked like she'd been to heaven and back and Murphy couldn’t help the smug smirk on his face that he had given her that look. The boys took a moment to admire her completely naked body, it rendered them speechless, she was so fucking perfect with her alabaster skin, her blush pink nipples, her tiny waist, and her sexy curves.

“Elle a un goût divin (She tastes divine).” Murphy muttered, locking eyes with his twin and he took off his boxers. Connor quirked a brow, his own sly smirk spreading on his lips as he reached between Lilas' thighs and ran his fingers along her, making her gasp, before bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean.

Lila was dazed and she blinked from one to the other, how could they be so fucking sexy? She felt like she was about to spontaneously combust.

“Hmm, comme le miel (Hmm, like honey).” Connor replied with a wicked smirk, making Murphy chuckle.

“Mmm I think I’m starting to like French.” Lila laughed with a lazy grin and the boys smirked at her. Murphy crawled over to her and she bit her lip, looking at him all coy like. He hovered over her, ghosting her lips with his own but not giving her the kiss she wanted as she tried to chase his lips.

“Ma belle fille, tout ce que je vais te faire (My beautiful girl, the things I’m going to do to you).” He purred against her lips with a smirk, grinding his cock against her thoroughly soaked entrance. A noise somewhere between a moan and a whine left her lips and Connor grinned, propping himself up with his elbow so he could look at her pretty flushed face.

“Think she likes it when ye talk te her Murph.” Connor smirked, biting his lip as she moaned again.

“Je pense aussi mon frère. Pensez-vous que je peux la faire mendier? (I think so too brother. Do you think I can make her beg)?” Murphy asked, still looking at the girl beneath him despite talking to his brother. Connor grinned darkly, the twins locking eyes for a second. Murphy rubbed the tip of his cock against her teasingly, showing uncharacteristic restraint. Lila was cursing him for finding some self-control in this moment of all moments. He just loved to tease though and Lila was playing into his hands like putty.

“Please Murph, please.” She whispered desperately as she arched up at him, not caring how fucking needy and wanton she looked, the boys were loving it anyway. They shared a quick look thoroughly pleased with themselves at how quickly she had begged. Murphy groaned a little, hearing her beg and say his name like that, he almost came right there. The last of his resolve vanished, just like Lila had hoped, and he thrust inside of her until he was fully sheathed. The pair moaned loudly and Lila dug her nails into the back of his shoulders. It had been a while and he was pretty well endowed much like his twin.

“Fuckin’ Christ, she’s so tight.” Murphy moaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to let her adjust before he pounded her into the mattress. He rested his forehead on hers, their heavy breathing mingling together.

Lila arched up at him with a mewl, wanting more from him and that was all he needed. He started rutting into her like a wild animal, groans and growls leaving his lips as he put the bed to the test. She was moaning loudly now, pushing back with each thrust and loving how he filled every inch of her, hitting that sweet spot every time. He leant on his forearm for leverage as his other hand gripped her thigh and hitched her leg over his hip to get ever deeper, making her gasp. Connor reached out, watching reverently as he pinched at her nipple, making her arch her back more. He was enjoying watching how her face contorted in pleasure, how she muttered his brothers name like a desperate prayer. She was a vision to behold in the throes of pleasure.

Her moans were getting high and more frequent and Murphy could feel her starting to clamp down on his cock, he was honestly surprised he managed to last this long. He was animalistic as he fucked her hard, growling every time he heard his name leave her beautiful lips. He angled her a little better, his pubic bone rubbing her clit with each thrust and that was all she needed, her back arched up so much she felt like she was being fucking abducted by aliens, and she cried out, squeezing his cock and milking him dry as he came inside of her with a loud moan. Connor reached out and stroked her hair soothingly as she came down from her high and Murphy practically collapsed on top of her, tucking his sweaty face in the crook of her neck as he tried to catch his breath. Her hand went onto his hair, massaging his scalp affectionately and she reached her other hand out to do the same to his twin.

Once again they were linked together and they felt calm and sated. They had taken the leap but it was fucking worth it, Connor regretted ever wanting to take it slow. Murphy pulled out of her carefully and collapsed next to her breathlessly. He’d had a lot of sex in his years, a lot of good sex. But that was fucking...incredible. He was sure he’d never came so hard before. For the first time in a number of years, he was fully relaxed. Lila glanced at the clock, she had work in a couple of hours. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, but she didn't have the heart to tell the boys as they both curled around her, arms wrapping around her middle as they dozed off feeling content.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28

#boondock saints #boondock saints fanfic #murphy macmanus #murphy macmanus fanfic #connor macmanus #connor macmanus fanfic

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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years ago

Text

Fic: Offer and Acceptance (Ao3)

Fandom: the Flash Pairing: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart

Summary: B's one of Len's favorite clients: young, chipper, sweet, and, as an extra plus, he vibrates. But for all that Len likes him, what they have can't be anything serious.

At least, not until B discovers the secret Len's been keeping and makes Len a very interesting offer...

A/N: For Coldflashweek 2018: Stripper/Prostitute/Kept Man AU

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"I'm rich, you know," the kid blurts out.

Len pauses mid-lap dance. He'd been about to sink down onto his knees for the actual going down portion of the evening, at least until B - one of his favorite clients, he's not going to lie, a sweet twenty-something with earnest brown eyes and a wicked sense of humor that sneaks out when he's not over-thinking things, and which Len only really thinks of as a kid when he does stupid things, for instance like blurt things out in the middle of a lap dance - decided to speak up with, as far as Len can tell, a total non-sequiter.

"Okay," Len says, out of lack of anything better to say. "Uh. Mazel tov?"

B blushes.

Len likes the fact that he blushes. As he said, B's cute, and to be perfectly honest Len doesn't see all that many clients who are still capable of blushing. That being said, if B has enough blood available to run up to his face, Len is really doing his job wrong.

"It's not that," B says, his face still on fire. "Wow, that really wasn't how I intended to start this. It's - I -"

"I mean, I know you've gotta have some cash," Len points out, still not a hundred percent sure where this conversation is going. "I'm not exactly the cheapest hooker on the block."

He is, however, one of the few hookers that put "metas accepted, no judgment" on his ads more or less the day after the media coined the term, which is how B ended up finding him. Normally Len charges a surcharge for meta clients, but honestly, sleeping with B - a speedster who starts to vibrate when he gets nervous or aroused - is way too much fun for him to justify the extra charge.

Don't want to discourage him from coming back, after all.

Seriously. Not only is B cute as anything, he vibrates. Len has no idea why he's still seeing a hooker after all these months; there's gotta be people interested in hitting that. If B ever decided to take up hustling himself, he could make a killing with that skillset.

Though clearly, Len didn't need to bother cutting the surcharge, if B's rich and all.

Len smirks at B, who manages, if at all possible, to turn even more red.

Len's starting to worry that B won't have any blood left.

"I know that you're not cheap," B mutters. "Not that I'd ever imply you were cheap! That wasn't what I meant - I just - I wanted -"

"Do you want to talk taxes?" Len teases. "I'm technically a certified CPA, you know, got my degree in prison one time -"

"That's just it!" B exclaims, suddenly sitting upright with a fire blazing in his eyes (and maybe the slightest crackle of electricity, but hey, speedster). "You - you do so much, Len! You're an accountant and a thief and - do you even like sex work?"

Len blinks, taken aback. "What?"

"I mean, I didn't want to say anything at first," B says, words spilling out in that over-fast way he has, a way that Len initially thought was because of him being a speedster but which he's grown to suspect is just how B thinks and talks. "I didn't want to be that guy, you know, the white knight with the caveman views on sex work - ooga booga, all sex workers are helpless victims getting traumatized and getting sex trafficked -"

Len sniggers. "Ooga booga? Really?"

"My primary experience of cavemen is with the Flintstones, okay?" B grumbles. "Not the point I was making. But seriously, Len, if I thought you were doing this because you enjoyed it, or because it's a good way to make money, then I wouldn't say anything. But you don't like it -"

"Hey," Len protests, less because B's wrong and more because he's got his professional pride, even if it isn't exactly in his chosen profession. He would've much preferred to be a thief, but sometimes life just didn't pan out that way, but just because the situation's complicated doesn't mean he can't take pleasure in being damn good at what he does. "I like sex. What, are you saying you don't think I've been appropriately enthusiastic -"

"No, no, you're amazing, you're always amazing -"

"Even the time I misjudged how close the side of the bed was, nearly fell off, and ended up falling down on your dick elbow first?" Len asks skeptically.

B blushes again, just when the last round seemed to have been fading away. "I kinda liked that, actually -"

"Uh-huh. Really? You been holding some kinks out on me, then?"

"No!" B squawks. He's now officially bright red again. Maybe the blood just flows faster for a speedster? "No, not the - elbow - that sucked - I meant the bit after that, where you started apologizing and I made that squeaky noise and then you started laughing at me -"

Len remembers. He'd been utterly unable to stop himself; B had sounded like a defective dog toy. Len'd been sure that he was about to lose one of his best clients because he couldn't control himself -

(you always lose everything because you can't control yourself)

- but no, B'd started laughing too, squeaky edge to his voice and all, and then that speedster healing of his finally kicked in so he was actually even okay, though obviously the mood had been totally and supremely ruined. They'd ended up sharing a bottle of wine for the rest of Len's allotted time there, a shitty boxed wine so bad that Len told B that he was ashamed of him, and Len was a goddamn slum kid and when slum kids are ashamed of your eating or drinking habits, you've really got issues, so clearly it was time for B to up his standards. Maybe consider getting something white next time, too, to avoid the stains?

B'd brought a nice Riesling to their next meeting, nicer than anything Len's ever had before, B's lips quirked in a sardonic grin; they'd ended up splitting it before getting down to business, the tipsiness slowing down their usual pace until it was slow and nice and full of laughter.

Yeah.

Len remembers.

"I just -" B says. "I liked that. I - I'd like that. Again. Preferably without the elbow to the groin bit."

Len arches his eyebrows a little, not bothering to hide his smile. "Well," he drawls. "I hate to use the phrase 'the customer is always right', B, but in this instance it does seem appropriate -"

But no, B's shaking his head. "Not - not for a night," he mutters. "For good."

Len's eyebrows go even further up. "I - what?"

"I'm rich," B says again, and this time the blush has faded and he just looks determined. "Okay, I – this was supposed to come at the end of the big speech so that it wouldn't come off as pressuring you, but since I started here I might as well keep going or it won't make any sense. So: I recently inherited a lot of money - like, a lot - and - and if you wanted to, only if you wanted to, then I'd like to - I'd want to - I want to buy all your nights."

"Even with your metabolism, that's a bit crazy," Len says dumbly. B can't be serious.

Except, bizarrely enough, he does actually seem to be. Serious, that is.

What has Len gotten himself into?

What's worst, too, is that he can see it, all of a sudden. B and bottles of wine and a bed just for them instead of a shitty hotel room, not having to stop because time's up and Len needs to go to his next client, maybe not even having to have sex every time, either. Just - being there, together, just because they want to be.

Just because they'd be together.

Len has to swallow around the lump in his throat.

He hadn't realized it was even something he'd want, not until it was offered to him. But now that it's been offered, he realizes that he does want it. He wants it so bad. He wants it worse than most of the things he's ever wanted in his life.

And that's why it's going to kill him to have to turn it down.

“- and I know you have debts,” B is saying earnestly. “Lots of them – school bills, medical bills, that sort of thing – and I can help with that –”

"B -" Len starts, then falters. "I don’t - I can't -"

"I have a house," B interrupts. "I guess I kind of inherited that, too. It's pretty big. You - you could bring your friends."

Len freezes.

"And your sister," B adds.

Right.

Len's told him about her.

About them.

His friends, his family, the guys he'd go to bat for through thick and thin and back again. Lisa, and Mick, and Mark, and Shawna, and even those eternal fuck-heads Sam and Rosa -

The real reason he's here.

"I - B -" he breathes. "You don't understand -"

"I understand more than you might think," B says, and his expression has gone solemn. "I know – I wanted you to know that I thought of offering you this first. I wanted you to be with me for good, but I did some thinking about this, you know? I started thinking about it and I thought that you might not accept my offer, and then I wanted to know why you wouldn't accept it –”

“It ain’t you,” Len tries to clarify, but you can’t stop B when he’s off and running, and that applies as much to his motor-mouth as it does to his speedster-fast feet.

“– and, like, I started to do some digging about why you wouldn’t take it and how I could offer it to you in a way you'd accept it and – I - I want you to know that I know, now. I found out.”

Len stares at him.

He couldn’t mean -

“I mean it,” B says softly. “I know. I know about him. The one that's making you do this."

Len’s mouth has suddenly gone very dry. "He didn't get to you, did he?" he demands, and his voice is shaking. His voice never shakes. But thinking about his B in the hands of - no. It couldn't be. No. "Tell me he didn't - tell me -"

"I'm okay," B says, reaching for Len, putting steadying hands on his shoulders. "I'm okay, Len, I promise - you know how I'm the Flash, right?"

Len's shoulders slump and he glares half-heartedly at B. "Damnit, B, I thought we were both pretending that I didn't know that. Wasn't that your whole reason for hiring a hooker to begin with? So that you could figure out your whole 'vibrating during sex' thing with complete discretion, without anyone figuring out that you're - you know?"

B grins a little. "Well, yeah," he says. "At first. I've mastered it now."

"Yeah, now you just vibrate for fun and profit, usually my profit," Len says, trying to get back into teasing mode, but it's not working right. He can't do it, not after thinking about -

About him.

"Yeah, well," B says, and he's gotten serious again, too. "My job as the Flash is to keep people safe from metas that are abusing their powers. And I don't think there's many metas out there abusing their power more than Bomb-blast."

"Bomb-blast?" Len echoes. That's new.

Kind of dumb.

B shrugs. "Cisco thought of it. Because, you know his power..."

B's had slides up from Len's shoulder to trace the very edge of Len's hairline, back by the nape of his neck and the top of his spine, right where there's an all-but invisible lump of something hiding under the skin.

"Because his power is to create bombs," Len finishes. "And to put them in people's heads so he can blackmail them into doing what he wants, no surgery, no trigger needed."

"And if you disobey him..." B mimes an explosion with his hand.

"Yeah," Len says, his mouth dry. His dad made a point of demonstrating to him what his powers looked like.

Len'd thrown up, after.

At least he'd had the wits to do it in private and avoid his dad beating him for showing weakness.

"Once we found out about him, that's when we figured out that - that that's why you do this," B says, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth. "You and your friends. That's why you steal for him. That's why you hustle for him - not that he even needs the money from that, given how good a thief you are, he's just making you do it to humiliate you, that's why you have time limits, because you need to hit that stupid quota of his -"

"B, I was a thief even without -"

"I know," B says. "I know. CCPD, remember? I've seen your record, and there's a lot more arrests for theft and robbery and burglary and stuff than there is for indecent exposure and solicitation. But - listen, like I said, if I thought sex work was something you chose, then I'd be fine with it and I'd never offer anything - because it'd be okay, but this? This isn't okay. What's happening to you now isn't okay, when you're just doing it because of that bastard -"

"He's my dad," Len blurts out, and B falls silent.

Len hadn't meant to admit that.

"I've been doing this a lot longer than he had the powers to force the issue," Len adds, unable to stop himself. It was true, too, and had been for years; Lewis was always coming around, demanding money or that Len perform certain services for certain people to get Lewis what he wanted. It hadn't been so regular before, no quotas or the million little humiliations he endures now, that stuff hadn't started until Lewis got the ability to exercise a far worse threat than Len had ever imagined, before he'd put bombs in the heads of everyone Len had ever cared about and forced them into the same servitude as Len, but it was true.

B deserves to know what he was dealing with here, because Lewis is rotten stuff, yes, but Len is his son, and all that same rottenness flows in his veins, too, and B deserves better than -

"I'll kill him," B says.

"What?" Len asks, pulling back to stare at him. He's - he's still on B's lap, he realizes. "B, the Flash doesn't kill."

"For you, I'd do it," B says. "Or I'll help you do it, if that's what you'd prefer. For what he's doing to you - he deserves it."

"But -" Len says, his hand drifting up to his neck. "What about..?"

"You introduced me to Lisa," B says. "At the school, so we could help her out with the engineering stuff she's doing in her spare time, remember? That's - that's how we found out about the bombs -"

"She told?!" Len demands, alarmed. If she told someone who didn't already know about it, then the bomb would go off - it might be ticking down to a grisly conclusion even now -

"Uh, no, not quite," B says. "I think, like, Pictionary was involved? Maybe interpretive dance?"

...actually, that sounded a lot like something Lisa would do.

"Anyway," B says. "When I decided I wanted to ask you to give this up, I asked her for permission -"

"You're not asking to marry me, B," Len says, a little amused.

"I'm asking for you to change your life for me," B says stubbornly. "It's just as important. But that's when she got the idea, I guess, of letting us know? She got the info to Cisco, and he told me, and we've been working with her on the bomb. We've figured out a way to neutralize it. I - I was going to offer that, too, tonight. Actually, I was going to offer that part first so you wouldn't think the cure is contingent on you accepting my offer, which it totally isn't, I just wanted - ugh, I just got confused because I really want you, I want you with me, and I didn't know how to start -"

"You still want..." Len trails off. Even now that B knows?

"You bet I do," B says fiercely. "I want you to move into Wells' old house with me. I want your friends to live there with us, the way you live with them now, except somewhere better than the worst pit of the slums. I want you to be free and happy, and - and if you want to keep doing sex work, that's totally your choice - and it doesn't even have to involve me - and I mean, if you wanted the money and the house and stuff and for me not to be around, I'd sign the house over to you in a heartbeat, if that's what you'd like - "

"You idiot," Len says, and kisses him.

"Is that a yes?" B asks afterwards. "To what part? I mean, I don't want to pressure you or -"

"Yes, you can work with your friends remove you know," Len says. "Yes, we'll move into the house. Yes, we'll be moving in together, you idiot, I'm not taking your house, why would you even offer that? But just so you know, we're all terrible roommates, all of us, so I'm just giving you fair notice of that - Mick lights fires, and Mark sings in the shower, and Shawna pigs out on anything in the fridge even if it isn't hers -"

"We can get more than one fridge," B says. He's beaming. "Possibly a lock."

"And as for your other question, no, I don't want to keep doing sex work," Len continues. "It's fun, don't get me wrong, it's not traumatizing or anything, but all things considered, if it's on the offer, I'd rather just sleep with you, and possibly anyone we opt to invite in with us."

B is beaming even more now.

"Plus, that means I can go back to making money the way I prefer," Len adds. He didn't stop planning heists just because his dad got to him, even though Len was never willing to suggest any of those plans to his dad. They weren't for his dad, anyway. They were for him - his one refuge of sanity, his own twisted version of dreaming of a better life.

"I don't suppose that that way involves accounting," B says, but he hasn't stopped smiling.

"Oddly enough," Len says, "it doesn't. You okay with that, Flash?"

B shivers.

Would you look at that, Len thinks they've found a brand new kink.

"Well, Flash?" he drawls, long and low. "What do you say about that, Flash?"

"Uh, yeah," B says, his cheeks going red again. Not red enough that there isn't some very interested stirring lower down, though. Seriously, do speedsters just have an infinite supply of blood or something? "I - I think we can deal with that. Just, you know, if I see you, I'll have to stop you."

"You mean if I don't stop you first," Len purrs. "Maybe I've put some thought into it - how to stop the Flash in his tracks. How to have him at my mercy..."

"Oh," B says, eyes fixed on Len. "Yeah. I - I could go for that. I could definitely go for that."

Len smirks. Yes, he's well aware.

"We should go to STAR Labs now, though," B adds, a little reluctantly. "The cure -"

"Can wait a few minutes," Len says. "It's not like my dad has activated it yet - if you've been secretive enough, he probably doesn't even know you've been working on fixing it - and he's gotten comfortable not needing to do anything or monitor us."

"I mean, I guess, but -"

"Besides," Len continues, sliding down to the ground the way he was originally intending, "if I do my job right, you're not going to last more than a few minutes, anyway."

"Not your job," B says, and he's grinning. "Not anymore. Not with me."

"Nope," Len says. "Not with you."

And that, as they say, is that.

Well.

Except the part where it really, really isn't and wow, did Len underestimate the sheer amount of absolute utter chaos that comes along with being part of Team Flash. And that's before his entire batshit crazy family decides that they want to set themselves up as a quasi-fake villain-anti-hero group in order to infiltrate the bad guys, which - what the fuck even, guys?

Len can't be the both the Flash's love interest and one of his bad guys!

(It turns out he can.)

#coldflash #barry allen #leonard snart #coldflashweeks2018 #my fic

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revisionaryhistory · 7 years ago

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It’s All Art ~ 90

Oscar felt her breathing slow and knew she’d fallen asleep. He took a deep breath, let it out, closed his eyes, and laid his head back. He was exhausted. This was the first time he’d relaxed since the phone call hours ago. The only reason he was relaxed now was that she, for this moment, was safe in his arms. She felt small and fragile leaned back on him. The smell of antiseptic and hospital covered what should have been her. Her hair still smelled like her and he breathed her in. He didn’t keep his eyes closed long before his peace was interrupted by the memory of the CCTV. He went back to watching her sleep, feeling her breath, until he drifted off to sleep.

Twice in the night she’d woken him up. Both times she was having a nightmare. He’d managed to soothe her with words and touch where she didn’t wake up the first time. The second time the combination of nightmare and the pain meds wearing off woke her. Charlotte wanted to wait before calling the nurse for more meds, but Oscar wouldn’t hear of it. Susan took her vitals and added more of the pain relieving mixture to her IV. She struggled to get comfortable. Being a side or stomach sleeper was working against her. Oscar got her to close her eyes and listen to his voice while he quietly sang to her.

Kelsey, Beth, and Jane were the first to arrive in the morning. They crept into the room to see the couple still asleep. Charlotte was leaning back against Oscar with her head turned and her forehead against his neck. Oscar’s head was tilted, resting on hers. The way her head was turned the girls could see the cut on her forehead, her scraped cheeks, and the cut on her lip.

Jane winced, ��She’s a mess. I want to cry.”

“They look really sweet though.” Kelsey pulled out her phone and took a picture, “She’ll want that.”

Beth smiled, “Wouldn’t we all. I’m glad she has him.”

A voice came from the direction of the bed, “I’m the lucky one.” Oscar opened one eye, “I better not see that picture on insta whatever.”

Kelsey grimaced, “Oh shit, hope I can take it down before anyone sees.” Then she stuck her tongue out at him, “You’re a wanker.”

“You know I was kidding, right?”

“Yes, you’re not an ass.”

“Just a wanker?”

Kelsey smiled and winked at him, “Did she sleep?”

“Pretty good. Hard to be comfortable with a bad arm on one side and broken ribs on the other.” He shifted with a grimace, “God, I’ve got to pee.”

Beth snickered, “Gallantry comes with consequences.”

A sleepy voice said, “I have to pee too.”

Oscar smiled, “Yay, a field trip.” He reversed the process to get out of the bed and looked at the three, “Can one of you grab the IV pole?” Oscar picked Charlotte up and headed toward the bathroom, “You’re too slow and I gotta go.Me first.”

When they came out Jane pointed between them, “Isn’t this taking togetherness to an unhealthy level?”

Oscar put Charlotte in the chair, “He’s not allowed to leave me alone due to the head injury. Him going too cuts the humiliation.”

Jane nodded, “Remember nothing?”

Charlotte thought for a second to see if anything had come back. She shook her head slowly, “Nope. Last thing I remember is leaving the gallery. Next is waking up on the garage floor.” She shrugged, “Might not be so bad that I’ve forgotten. With all these injuries it wasn’t a fight I won.”

Oscar smoothed her hair and kissed her head, “I’m going to get some coffee. You ok with the ladies?” He glanced at the girls with a smile.

“Absolutely.” She pulled on his t-shirt and he leaned over to kiss her. “I love you.”

He smiled, “I love you, too.”

Before reaching the nurses station he met Matt and Abby. After quick hugs he explained he was going for coffee while the girls baby sat. Abby headed into the room and Matt went with him. They ran into Adam by the elevator. The three went together to the coffee machine down the hall then headed back to the room. Oscar filled them in on last night what today looked like. Matt had a car from the hotel on standby, ready to take her home as soon as she was ready.

Everyone was laughing when they walked into the room. When the girls saw the boys the laughter instantly stopped. Oscar looked at Adam and Matt, “That is never a good sign.”

That got them laughing again.

Half an hour later there was a knock at the door and the two policemen from yesterday came in. They introduced themselves to Charlotte, “Do you feel up to answering a few questions?”

“Umm, yeah.” Charlotte tried to smile, “I don’t really remember anything.”

Everyone cleared out of the room except Oscar who stayed on her bed. He wasn’t willing to even ask for permission to stay, he was going anywhere. He was hoping to head off any pictures, especially before surgery.”

Charlotte told them what she could remember. Coming out of the gallery, heading down the street, and surprisingly bumping into someone. She couldn’t remember a face or if the person said anything. She couldn’t be sure that was the person who’d attacked her.

The older officer spoke to her, “We’ve got a pretty decent picture of his face, but that can wait a few days until you’re feeling better. If you don’t remember what happened, you’ll not remember his face, but we’d like you to give it a try. Hopefully we’ll get a hit on the DNA from where you scratched him.”

Charlotte was chewing her lip, “I hope he doesn’t attack anyone else while I’m unable to remember. I’d hate someone else to go through this.”

“Nothing similar in the area.” He smiled, “You concentrate on healing. Right now, we think you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Leslie came through the door, “Time to get my patient ready. I sent your family on to the surgery floor. They’re about ready for you. I have some versed to relax you.”

The officers stood up, “We’ll check in early next week.”

Oscar shook their hands while calculating that gave them five days, “Thank you.” As soon as they were out the door he turned and almost ran over to Leslie, “Thank you. Perfect timing.”

Leslie smiled, “They’d been in here long enough.” She pushed the versed into the IV line. “Shouldn’t be long.” Behind her the door opened. Leslie looked over her shoulder, “See, not long.”

Down in the pre-op room the nurse told them her surgeon was finishing up. Maybe another twenty minutes. Oscar resumed his normal position sitting in a chair pulled up to her bedside, holding her hand. She didn’t have an obvious tell for being anxious or scared like he did with pacing and scratching his arm, but he knew. Sometimes she chewed her lip, but usually it was a more subtle shift. He couldn’t tell you what it was. He just felt it. “What you thinking about, beautiful girl?”

“I am sure I am not beautiful in my patterned hospital gown, shower cap, and bruised and taped up face.”

“You’re always beautiful to me.”

She smiled, “Come up here and give me a kiss.”

“You got it.” He stood up and kissed her, staying close he whispered, “What’s worrying you? Besides the obvious.”

“What if I wake up and don’t remember you?”

He put his hand on her cheek, his face softening, and eyes sad, “Baby, that’s not going to happen?” Watching her start to speak he continued. “If you do I will show you pictures and tell you stories of us. I’ll start at the beginning and make you fall in love with me all over again.” He wiped a tear that slid down her cheek.

Charlotte nodded and took a breath, “I needed a plan for the worst.”

“Whatever you need, I’m your man.” That earned him a laugh. He wanted to keep her distracted. “Did getting your tongue pierced hurt?”

A loud laugh escaped her, “Horribly! That was the worst idea I ever had. Swelled up so much I could barely swallow.”

“Guess you wouldn’t do that again, huh?” He frowned, “Never had a blow job from a girl with a pierced tongue.”

“I would be willing to allow you to have that experience if I can stay and watch.”

Both of them knew that was bullshit. Oscar played along, “I’m pretty sure I could never stay hard with you watching.”

“Oh well,” Charlotte shrugged, “guess you’ll have to do without.”

“I’ll find a way to survive.” He kissed her hand then stared at her. She was beautiful and the most amazing woman he’d ever know. Not perfect, but perfect for him. “You should marry me.”

“Absolutely.”

“No, I mean really. Marry me.”

Her eyes went wide, she looked away then back to him, “No. You don’t want to get married. It’s not even two months since you were afraid I’d end it with you because you’d never get married again.”

“Can’t a man change his mind?”

“Of course.” She just looked at him. His handsome face and those soulful brown eyes. His love for her poured from his eyes. The last twelve hours had furthered her belief in something she’d never doubted. Then the pieces clicked into place. Her voice softened and she took her hand from him, to run her fingers through his hair and touch his face. Her heart ached from how full it was. “You’re panicking because someone hurt me and you couldn’t protect me. The caveman in you thinks marrying me would protect me. But it wouldn’t have made a difference. You’re the sweetest man ever and I love you more than I could ever let you know.”

Oscar didn’t disagree with her. If anything he looked like her words provided a motive of which he wasn’t aware. He was thinking it over.

Charlotte moved her hand back down to hold his, “When I’m healed and all this is behind us if getting married would make you happy, I’m all in. But trying to protect me is a bad reason to get married and I don’t want you to regret it the next day.”

Glaring at her he leaned to kiss her, “Using my words?”

“Just returning the favor.” She watched him nod in understanding. “This medicine is making me feeling weird, so if I’ve been mean I apologize.”

He scrunched up his face and shook his head, “Not mean.” Before he could tell her that he thought she was right that he was trying to protect her the nurse was back.

“Good news, they’re ready for you a bit early.” A man followed her into the room and headed for Charlotte’s bed. “Time to say goodbye and I’ll take you to your friends.”

Oscar took her face in his hands, “I love you and I will be right here when you wake up.” He kissed her softly, “And . . . I could never regret anything with you.”

~*~*~*~*~

Umm, there’s an interesting development

#oscar isaac #fanfic

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Not too shabby, Jimothy Janis: How about you? Jimmy: Been better Jimmy: You know 😏 Janis: Goes without saying Janis: we both make do like but all things considered Janis: think it was 'reet' as you would say Jimmy: You're so full of craic Jimmy: No wonders I miss you already like Jimmy: But yeah it was alright Janis: 🍀 Janis: Take the compliment even though with present company its not asking much of me is it Janis: No shade to Cass or Bobs Jimmy: Want another, do ya? #thirstyworkthis Jimmy: Full of 'em thankfully Janis: Who you calling thirsty?! 😉 Jimmy: Denying it? Jimmy: Bold move Janis: Your word against mine Jimmy: Fair. You are louder than me Jimmy: Gonna get drowned out Janis: 😳 Janis: Prick! Janis: Not my fault that you just grunt like a caveman at all times Jimmy: If you aren't about it, do something about it, mate Jimmy: Just saying 😏 Janis: Ha.. what, teach you proper English? Janis: Not sure I got the time or dedication to the cause tbh 🤔 Jimmy: Nah you haven't got the vocab 🇮🇪 Jimmy: Need more than 🍀 is the drama Janis: 🖕 Janis: Drama is the only subject you're about, more like Janis: not working with an unwilling pupil Jimmy: You can't be my muse across every subject, mate Jimmy: So thirsty like Janis: Ugh Janis: I hate you Janis: So glad you're not here now Jimmy: Can't shut me up from this far away though Jimmy: We both know you've got means otherwise Janis: Such a blatant hussy Janis: all becomes clear now 😂 Jimmy: Skerries brings it out in me Janis: Well what happens in Skerries, like Jimmy: Shit. Hang on Janis: Okay Janis: Is it? Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: As you were Jimmy: What did I miss? Janis: Damn, didn't hear me lamenting under ya window? Janis: Guess the thirst isn't THAT real Janis: You good? Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Shame you weren't, could've caught me when I was tempted to throw myself out dramatically like Janis: That bad then? Janis: 'Cos you went away, like? Jimmy: My dad just had a weekend worth of opinions he simply had to share with me about how I've been spending my time Janis: I can imagine Janis: You aren't free childcare though Janis: I know my fam are lax about certain shit others aren't but he is taking the piss Janis: Right? Jimmy: It isn't like I even mind about looking after them, he's acting as if I'm desperate to be rid when I'd rather have 'em than leave them with him Jimmy: None of us wanna play happy families with him and his missus Jimmy: Have your fucking alone time Janis: Soon to be asking that, gotta be realistic Janis: Esp. with how little he's given the kiddos re. you're Ma Janis: What a headfuck, can't just transition seamlessly, son Janis: and as for the rest of that shite, he just KNOWS that'll make you feel guilty, Jim Janis: I don't know anyone who puts as much work in with their fam, he's not got a leg to stand on there, just knows what'll work on you, that's all Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it fucks me off though, it really does Jimmy: Feels like ages since we went away already and I'm only just back through the door Janis: I know Janis: Sometimes I wish we could just take 'em and leave for good Janis: Not really though, I know that's a lowkey fucked thing to wish considering Janis: Not trying to be an insensitive cunt, just hate it when he gets to you, if I could do something about it forreal, I would Jimmy: You do Jimmy: Not trying to make you feel awkward bout it but you do really help me Jimmy: I wouldn't be able to hack half as much of this if you weren't about Janis: 'Course you would Janis: You did before, like, since you was 13 Janis: That's mental Janis: Don't usually wanna gas you up this much but you're fucking strong, and I know you had to for 'em but still are Janis: Own it, big 'ead Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Still wish you were here though Jimmy: Or we were there Janis: Duh, I'm a delight Janis: and not going anywhere anytime soon so Janis: you're in 🍀 Jimmy: About time I had some Janis: That's the spirit Janis: just hit your Da with that quality bants 😎 Janis: won't have no comebacks, I bet Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: Sooner I can get my own flat the better Jimmy: Debating jacking school in but then who'd be there to get Mr Lucas' rocks off Janis: Won't someone please think about Mr Lucas n his needs?! Janis: Such a hero Janis: Forreal? Be a shame, like Janis: Not just for the art department Jimmy: I know. I wouldn't get to spend all day eye fucking you for starters Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I dunno, sometimes it's the only peace I get from dickheads, kids and mad dogs but they aren't paying me to be there like Janis: Can't have you using your skillz on the CG punters instead Janis: Get restraining orders or their order over ya like Janis: Makes sense though, shame there ain't a compensation scheme like Janis: Maybe you could get run over and then say the Dr fucked you over Janis: double bubble Jimmy: Get your nan round to beat me up again Jimmy: Have a go too, be a hero, mate Jimmy: If anyone asked there was loads of 'em and I didn't see a single face, sorry Janis: 😂 Janis: and defs not a pensioner and a teenage girl either like Janis: probs the 'RA after you, like Janis: sell that shit to The Sun, boyo Janis: full of good ideas, me Jimmy: Quality Jimmy: I am gonna have to get another job at least Jimmy: any ideas there? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lets put our heads together Janis: What are your skills, Mr Taylor? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Janis: There's a market for it Janis: Mia could be your sugar mama, play your cards right Jimmy: I'd happily go broke in that case Jimmy: Live in this box room forever like Janis: You got principles now? Janis: Didn't have 'em when you was sucking face with Tam 🤔 Interesting 😂 Jimmy: When Mia's concerned it's called common sense Janis: Don't reckon you got staying power to be nothing more than another flavour of the month? Janis: She does go through them, admirable in a way given all she's seemingly working against Jimmy: I know I haven't Jimmy: Kissed goodbye to my new boy appeal ages ago Janis: I dunno Janis: I still reckon you're alright Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [Sends a picture of Twix] Speaking of Jimmy: Absence has made the heart grow fonder for someone Janis: Real MVP Janis: been wearing you out instead of her Janis: You owe her, like 😜 Jimmy: I'm gonna bin off school Jimmy: I can make it up to her then Jimmy: Just for the day, keep calm dad Janis: Lol, really prove his point, like Janis: Teen's prerogative Janis: Fair though, I'm pretty knackered Jimmy: yeah why not Jimmy: you don't wanna come over to keep us both company then? Janis: You don't have to ask Janis: if you just wanna 💤 Janis: Not gonna be that bitch Jimmy: what kinda bitch you gonna be Janis: I've not decided yet, watch out world Jimmy: Keep me posted Jimmy: Twix needs to get a jump on her competition Janis: Look, baby girl, if its a competition between you and school then it is none Janis: but the lad here needs a break Janis: I'm soz 💔 Jimmy: 😎💪🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: You turning sleep into a sport now? Jimmy: Have you seen Twix when she gets going on a dream? #Athleticaf Janis: Aww 😍 Janis: why you taking on the champ, gonna have you picking up her shit- oh wait Janis: s'a dog's life forreal Jimmy: She was the one being #goals all along Janis: Truly Janis: can I come over actually Janis: I want to Janis: Call me thirsty all you wanna Jimmy: I want you here too Jimmy: We're even Janis: What was that? You actually admitting defeat? Janis: 😮 Janis: Never thought I'd see the day, Taylor Jimmy: Don't get used to it, like Jimmy: But I do owe you one for sorting Skerries Janis: I'll take it Janis: Even if it was hardly selfless of me like Jimmy: I'm alright with you being selfish if it means getting away from the shit Janis: Easily sorted Janis: S'my default, ask the fam Jimmy: I would but I'm gonna see how long I can carry on pretending families don't exist 😎 Janis: Not gonna say challenge accepted when you're being a good boy Janis: but I like the sound of that too Janis: plus, unfair, numbers wise Jimmy: You are at a disadvantage Jimmy: Never usually let that losing streak stop you though Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Fuck off Janis: Selective memory sore loser 😒 Janis: I got this in the bag anyway, you can't be cunty to kids Janis: I'm away there, all my fam be grown...ish Jimmy: You're gonna have to jog it for me cause all I see in my past are wins, mate Jimmy: Not that you can trusted if you've forgotten how much of a dickhead I am Janis: I know you find it hard to keep up with me but Janis: at least try, mate 😉 Jimmy: Don't have to. I'm a natural at beating you Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😑 Janis: I feel its my duty to inform you this isn't how you make girls like you, you know Janis: otherwise your chances of getting a new gf to stick are slim Jimmy: It's alright I don't want a new girlfriend Jimmy: And I know what works on the one I've got 😏 Janis: What a charmer Jimmy: You aren't denying it 😎 progress Janis: What's your game? Janis: Suspect Jimmy: No games Janis: Yeah right Janis: got my eye on you boy Jimmy: You always do Jimmy: 😎💪💕 Janis: 🕵 you're a shady character that's why Janis: could be a 36 y/o russian spy Jimmy: 😲 Jimmy: with this face? rude Janis: deep cover Janis: obvs want me for the olympics cos why else Jimmy: busted Janis: fans gonna be gutted Janis: never mind will they won't they Janis: rollercoaster from fake start to fake end Jimmy: We're gonna need new #s Janis: #whendimitriisnottheone #comradeBYE Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get the vodka shots in Jimmy: Win you back like Janis: Not that easy Janis: but not gonna say no Jimmy: #thirsty Janis: how did we end up back here Jimmy: Too true for you to keep avoiding, mate Janis: what you think Janis: queen of avoidance Janis: won't see me for dust Jimmy: I'll see you tomorrow, babe Janis: Only by proxy Janis: 'cos my true love is there Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: Don't worry, we can still have mindless sex Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Done Janis: Heart healed real fast Janis: Called it Jimmy: I'm easy Janis: Didn't wanna say it, kid Jimmy: Ask Tam she'll tell you Janis: I bet she would Janis: Unlike you I do my best to avoid her though so no tah Jimmy: Don't know what you're missing there, mate Janis: Ha, you can get fucked Janis: I'm not having a threesome with you and Tam Janis: not even for the #drama Jimmy: what about for the #craic? Jimmy: You'd be lucky anyway she's only about me 😎 Janis: So jealous 😒 Janis: Twat Janis: How about a mmf threesome, bet YOU ain't so keen now Jimmy: Depends who you're considering Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas I'm well in Janis: All fun and games now but you know he'd be way too down Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: Too real Janis: Mhmm, that mouth gon' get you in trouble one day Janis: what am I gonna do with you, eh? Janis: 😇 over here Jimmy: I'm the bad influence like Jimmy: Take that dad Janis: Yeah, I'll just tell him, like Janis: Problem solved Janis: Please him no end having to have a chinwag with me 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: done deal Jimmy: not like we're trying to avoid him or owt Janis: oh, just thought we were trying to avoid our own, like Janis: there goes my bruch goss sesh Janis: gutted Jimmy: Keep up, mate Jimmy: Gotta totally isolate ourselves for that teen angst cliche Janis: Umm Janis: 🚩 Janis: are you going to tell me next that no one else cares about me but you? and that I need to block everyone and give you my phone Jimmy: You can tell your fam that next time Gracie's blowing up your phone Janis: I'd pay to see her rescue mission but Janis: I'll let it get to the danger zone before I do anything, standard Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: Can't fault you there Janis: Give you time to get proper creeper Janis: up ya game Jimmy: I'll take that Jimmy: Challenge accepted as per Janis: G'wan then Janis: Don't scare easy Jimmy: I already figured that out Janis: Clever boy 😉 Jimmy: have my moments Jimmy: Don't even need school, see? Janis: Still wanna jack it in then? Janis: Let Monday pass, see how you feel Jimmy: I don't wanna really Jimmy: Just being a crybaby about being stuck under this roof Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fair Janis: I feel it Janis: You can always squat in the barn if you're quiet Janis: won't charge you Janis: much Jimmy: I can be quiet Jimmy: If you don't blow my cover we'll be alright Janis: Excuse me Janis: I'm stealth as fuck Janis: you know you got caught the other day yeah Janis: was saving your ego but Jimmy: Nah Janis: Did so Janis: you know Gracie got her 👀 peeled for you forever Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Should've known that she'd still be obsessed with me Janis: You? Okay 👌🍆 Janis: watch you don't rub your shine off dickhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Thought you'd be buzzing she's switched her allegiance like Janis: Still not getting rid of her is it Janis: Unless you both run off into the sunset and leave me in peace Jimmy: Yeah alright Jimmy: You've got Twix you'll be sorted Janis: Like you give a fuck Janis: finally getting the twin you wanted all along like Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Just playing the long game Janis: Bit of a weird way to play it but Janis: this your usual approach? Jimmy: You're the first twin I've dated Jimmy: Lucky Janis: I really feel it Jimmy: [Sends a pic of Twix looking adorable] Jimmy: Bet you do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Look at what you coulda had Janis: now you're gonna have to get a pug with my sister Janis: sad Jimmy: More of a cat person anyway like 😏 Janis: are you trying to get with my mum? Janis: sicko Jimmy: Nah just over mad bitches, you know Janis: Defs wanna avoid this entire fam then Jimmy: Nah their alright Jimmy: And not just by comparison Janis: Hmm maybe from the outside looking in Janis: They aren't but what am I gonna do, emancipate myself? I've got less cash and less of a place to go so not the brightest of ideas Jimmy: Guess we're stuck Jimmy: Twix has a lot of love to give but fuck all cash Janis: Preach Janis: Useless sugar daddy Janis: should take a leaf out my sister's book clearly Jimmy: Bit late for that Jimmy: You're too loved up Janis: Nah Janis: Tell Twix to speak for herself Jimmy: [sends a voice clip of Twix howling] Jimmy: Done Janis: 😂 Janis: aren't you in enough trouble rn boy? don't start her off! Jimmy: She's a bad bitch Jimmy: Can't be told Jimmy: I blame her training meself Janis: Oh, Twix, where you gonna go? Think on, girl Janis: Get what you pay for Janis: You want results, you gotta cough up for my services Jimmy: You can't need new kicks already, mate Jimmy: I know you've been shopping like Jimmy: The social's got you exposed Janis: What makes you think I was paying? 🤔 Janis: Mean she didn't buy you a 'round? Shame Jimmy: I know you weren't Jimmy: Gonna pay when Twix hears about it though Janis: Sure the flat whites are already hunting her down too Janis: Awkward Jimmy: Tam's probably trying to stretch her skin into a suit as we speak Jimmy: She's gonna need a touch of your luck I reckon Janis: Not your usual type, long and lanky then? Janis: That'll be a toughie but she's nothing if not determined, bless her Jimmy: Dunno I can't remember Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Nice Janis: Such a gent Jimmy: I wasn't trying to be Jimmy: She bumped into me and we had a dance to make it less awkward Jimmy: Far as that politeness went Janis: No need to lie 😂 I'm not the one that's gonna be crying about it Jimmy: No need to be jealous cause I'm not Janis: Whatever, weren't together Janis: not against any unwritten rules or other shite Jimmy: Still Jimmy: If you were jealous, like at Cass' party, no need to be Janis: You what? Janis: I weren't, you were being rude, that's all Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Always wanting me to be jealous Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Nope, just saying Jimmy: I'm that dickhead like Janis: What dickhead would that be? Jimmy: A jealous one Janis: Nah Janis: You ain't Janis: why would you be? nothing to be jealous about Jimmy: Forget it Janis: Can't say that, never works, like Jimmy: There's a first time for everything though Jimmy: Worth a go Janis: 🤷 Janis: fine, hit you with the shrug right back Janis: be like that Jimmy: I'm not being like anything Jimmy: I just don't wanna say it. Okay? Janis: Alright Janis: What do you wanna say? Anything? Should I go? Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: It's not your fault like, being too good for me and that Janis: Are you mental? What are you even chatting Janis: Fuck leagues, not even playing the same sport, and I ain't bragging Janis: For once Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: You're fucking stunning like, and that's just looks Janis: 🙄 Janis: Please Janis: that's the start and end of my qualities Janis: don't even make the most of that, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: It isn't Jimmy: And you don't need to, that makes it worse, or better depending on the lens you're viewing through Janis: I've told you, I know what I am Janis: Ain't under any illusion I'm a catch Janis: Not fishing for sympathy like Jimmy: I'm not throwing any sympathy out Jimmy: Or compliments, just facts Jimmy: You are a catch, mate Janis: Blatantly not 'cos no one else thinks or has thought so Janis: what I'm saying, there's nothing to BE jealous about Janis: no one gunning for you 'cos I'm off the market, is there Jimmy: Only cause they can't compete with how #goals we are Janis: Yeah, that's the joke Jimmy: It doesn't have to be Jimmy: I'm not laughing Janis: No? That might've been your reality but it certainly hasn't been mine Janis: There's a reason I was a 'dyke' with no friends, and those reasons haven't disappeared Janis: You would laugh, you do Jimmy: No Janis: Forget it Janis: I'm using mine now too Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: I don't want you to forget what I'm trying to say Jimmy: Even if I am messing it up Janis: you don't have to Janis: say anything Janis: just 'cos I'm being a fucking sad case Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: There's so much shit I wanna say to you, alright? Janis: But you don't know how? Janis: Alright, Liam, fucking hell Jimmy: He was on to something Janis: Maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: You don't need this though, my shit ontop of yours, forreal, so you can forget about it, alright? Jimmy: I'm not that much of dickhead Janis: Ugh, can't you try? Janis: Always claiming the title and now where is it when we need it, eh Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: Got no control over it like that Jimmy: Basically none around you, like Janis: You mean that? Janis: No bullshit, no bants? Jimmy: You know I do Janis: Good Janis: 'cos me either Janis: and I am jealous, really jealous Janis: and you know that too, I know Jimmy: That's why you have to hear me out Jimmy: There's no reason to be Jimmy: I swear Janis: Alright Janis: I'll try Janis: Its not personal, but I know its shitty to be on the other end of it regardless Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I can't lie now, I quite like it Jimmy: Nobody's ever been that bothered about me before Janis: Well they're thick then Janis: I Janis: I dunno Janis: Not had anyone to myself before Janis: that I wanted to keep Janis: not letting go easy, like Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: Me and you. Alright? Jimmy: That's how I want it Janis: Alright Janis: I wish we had a place to go now too Janis: Bad Janis: out of the question storming out in a teen angst rage tonight? Jimmy: It's out of the question for me not to Jimmy: I'll take the car Jimmy: Find us a place Janis: You're already in trouble I guess Janis: Lets do it Janis: I'll be waiting outside Jimmy: I'll be right there Janis: 👌 Janis: what are our chances of sneaking me in though? 🤔 seems silly to come back home only to come back tomorrow like Janis: up for the challenge? Jimmy: Put a coat on it's freezing out Jimmy: You know it 💪🏆 Janis: Cute 🖤 Janis: but as I've pulled, will do Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Got the car keys that's the first hurdle like Jimmy: Don't even need luck Janis: Thank God, like Janis: just that good, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: 💕

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eldorvdo-blog · 8 years ago

Text

seyoon usually knows better than to interrupt other people’s conversations, especially those of people he doesn’t know, but there are times when he just can’t sit around and not put his two cents in. in this case, he finds himself morally obligated to. he’d feel guilty for the rest of his life if he didn’t step in and say something.

“actually... dinosaurs and humans never lived together at the same time. you’re looking at a period of, like, 65 million years between when the last of the dinosaurs dwindled out and the first of the humans started to spring up, so they definitely did not co-exist, ever. that’s just a myth.”

the little boy he’s talking to blinks in response. he can’t be any older than eight, but he seems to be pretty set in his beliefs judging by the way he gives seyoon a skeptical look. “but on the flinstones, people lived with dinosaurs!”

“the flinstones don’t know shi- uh, i mean, a-anything about dinosaurs.” it’s a nice save. “trust me on this. that’s just a silly old cartoon that doesn’t have its facts straight. you can’t trust cartoons.”

“well, my mom told me to never trust a stranger.”

seyoon shrugs. “my name’s seyoon. there! now i’m not a stranger anymore.”

the little boy seems to think this over for a second, then shrugs as well. one might find it frightening how quick a child can put all hesitance aside and believe what any adult tells them, but in this case it’s good that seyoon isn’t someone trying to bribe this kid into his van with the promise of candy and puppies. seyoon is just genuinely trying to educate. it’s the only subject he feels he knows enough information about to share and everyone’s gotta make some sort of impact on the world, don’t they? this very well may be his.

“okay! but how do you know that people didn’t live back then if you weren’t even there?”

“you weren’t even there either,” seyoon points out. “and i know this because it’s common knowledge. you can verify this yourself by just opening up a book or searching online. do you know what anthropology is?” when the child shakes his head, seyoon goes on explaining. “there are people in this world whose job it is to actually research where humankind comes from and how long we’ve been around. if we were alive during the time of the dinosaurs, i think we would’ve found that out already - but we haven’t, because we didn’t.”

the kid rubs his chin and narrows his eyes. “hm... alright then. i guess it’s probably a good thing we weren’t alive then because dinosaurs are scary and they’d probably eat us.”

“yeah, probably. some of them, anyway.”

“what do you think would’ve been more scarier to see? a t-rex or a spinosaurus?”

seyoon raises his brows and shrugs, leaning against the railing behind him. he’s come to the museum today to take a stroll and look at some of the fossils. having a full on conversation with a child wasn’t in his plans for today, but he’s glad for the conversation anyway. seyoon loves to talk, but if there’s anything he loves to talk about the most, it’s this kind of shit. “well... they’re both powerful and terrifying in their own ways. i guess i’d say spinosaurus, though, since it was even bigger than the t-rex. that’s one of my favorites.”

“me too! who do you think would win in a fight?”

“neither! spinosaurus lived in middle cretaceous africa like a hundred million years ago. t-rex lived in the late cretaceous north america 65 million years ago. they would never have been able to fight each other. they didn’t co-exist either. that’s another myth.”

the boy seems impressed. “wow, cool! you sure know a lot about dinosaurs!”

seyoon smiles and nods. many years of research have certainly paid off. “yeah, well, i think dinosaurs are cool so i like to learn about them. what about you?”

“yes! but i don’t know a lot of things like you...” the little boy huffs a little, then grabs the arm of another kid nearby. “hey! this guy knows everything about dinosaurs! i’m serious! and you were wrong about the caveman thing! he told me so.”

overhearing the discussion, a woman turns around and offers seyoon a pleasant smile. she’s obviously here with the children as part of a school group. there are a number of them scattered around the room. “do you work here?”

seyoon takes a second to mull the question over. the actual answer should be ‘no’, but he comes around often enough to know the lay of the land. part of him thinks he knows more than the actual people that work here do. he isn’t one to lie, though. at least not about this sort of thing. “well... technically, no, but i do come here to spread information sometimes.”

“oh, like a volunteer? do you do tours? my kids are here to learn about fossils but i couldn’t seem to find anything online about organizing something like that.”

“i... could. i could do that, yes.” technically. “did you want one?”

the woman seems incredibly relieved to hear this. “yes! we’d love one. are you starting one now?”

seyoon glances around the room and does a quick mental count of how many kids are in the room, then smiles again. he’s not an actual volunteer and he’s definitely not a tour guide either, but he knows a lot of information and this makes him feel confident. not to mention, he’s good at talking - that’s basically all that tour guides do. with a nod, he glances at his watch and notes the time. he’s got about an hour to kill before he’s got to head out anyway. one little lap around the museum wouldn’t hurt. “absolutely. my tour’s departing right now.”

by the time the first tour ends, he’s agreed to take another group around - this time one that consists of families, rather than just schoolchildren on a field trip. seyoon doesn’t mind saying the same thing over again. he finds it incredibly fun to be socializing with so many people and sharing so much information about the fossils in the museum and about where they came from. at the end of the second tour, he goes home. he’s got a late shift tonight so he’s got to go get ready for it.

on the way out of the museum, a woman with her young daughter stops to speak to the employee at the front desk. “thanks so much! your tour guide was absolutely amazing! we’ll definitely be coming back here.”

the guy at the desk simply furrows his brows at her. “tour guide?”

“yeah! the tall, skinny young man with the black shirt? he had a lot of information. he really knows his stuff - and he was so sweet, too! if i were you guys, i’d give him a raise!”

the guy has to stop and think for a few seconds, trying to remember someone coming in with that description (because, as far as he knows, the museum has no official tour guides at this time), then remembers seyoon.

“oh, that kid...” another pause. “that kid does NOT work here.”

#// bc the idea popped into my head and it was too cute to resist #sp #memoirs of a noodle boy

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bruno-news · 8 years ago

Text

It’s Joy Time for Bruno Mars

WE’RE JUST CAVEMEN, hitting on rocks,” says Bruno Mars. “It’s no different—you’re a caveman and you got a rock in front of you, you hit it with a stick to get everybody dancing. This is our time to forget about everything, it’s joy time. So who’s the best at hitting that rock? Who’s going to make the village dance the hardest?”

At a casual glance, you might not know that Mars is one of our superstar cavemen. Pulling up to an upscale Italian restaurant on an anonymous street in L.A.’s San Fernando Valley, alone in a relatively modest Cadillac, he parks in back by the dumpsters to slip in quietly. In contrast to the flashy outfits he wears onstage, he’s dressed in a simple collarless bomber jacket, a white Gucci logo T-shirt and camouflage pants. A small crucifix on a thin chain hangs around his neck.

But at age 31, the singer/songwriter/producer dynamo born Peter Gene Hernandez is unquestionably one of the most highly decorated figures in pop music, with 21 Grammy nominations and 21 Hot 100 hit singles. He has sold over 170 million singles and 26 million albums worldwide and notched his first five No. 1 hits faster than any male artist since Elvis Presley. His third album, 24K Magic, debuted at No. 2 in November; more than two months later, it was still parked in the top five.

On this drizzly January day, Mars is trying to take care of business before heading to Japan for promotional duties. He’s finalizing plans for the album’s second single, the breezy, drop-top banger “That’s What I Like,” and plotting out his performance for the Grammy Awards. Today, he’s mostly bouncing between meetings and calls to assemble the staging for his massive world tour—already more than 100 dates this year, starting in late March in Antwerp, Belgium, and hitting the U.S. in July.

“I want the show to be powerful, because people spent some money on a ticket,” he says. “I’ve seen some awesome shows. I’ve seen Prince and Michael Jackson ; those are nights I will remember forever. I’m not doing my job unless I leave a piece of me everywhere I go—if you do the right show, it will stay with people and they’ll tell their kids about it. I hope people can see what I was feeling when I made the records. Then I want to go beyond their expectations and fly.”

With his old-school dedication to entertaining and his grounding in classic pop and R&B songwriting, Mars stands alongside Adele as one of today’s most universally beloved musicians. “My mum loves Bruno Mars and my son loves Bruno Mars and he’s 5,” says James Corden, host of The Late Late Show—and, recently, the Grammys—in a phone call. “I love how joyful, positive, uplifting his music is. It excludes no one. Everybody is welcome.”

Mars makes no secret that being onstage comes much easier to him than being in the studio. Almost four full years passed between his quadruple-platinum Unorthodox Jukebox album and the release of 24K Magic. He works so obsessively on each song, he says, that he drew up parameters for himself in order to get the concise, nine-song project finished. “I wanted to make a movie, where each song has its own moment,” he says. “So ‘Versace on the Floor’ is the tender moment, ‘That’s What I Like’ is the fun moment, and the ballad at the end [“Too Good to Say Goodbye”] seals the deal. That’s how I kind of tricked myself into making the album.

“We were trying really hard to tap into the ’90s R&B music that we grew up with, and it’s a very fine line—it can get tribute-y, it can sound forced,” Mars adds. “But that New Jack Swing sound brought me so much joy as a kid, so we took that on and did our best to try to get that feeling, that effortless fun.”

His interest in exploring the sounds of the past has sometimes led to accusations that Mars is just a talented copycat. When 24K Magic was released, one publication offered a track-by-track analysis of which artist each song was imitating. Not surprisingly, Mars gets heated about such criticisms.

“Man, that pisses me off so much!” he says. “It’s so easy to say that, but anyone that does that kind of shit has never written a song in their life. That’s why I’m here, because of musicians before me.

“Don’t get me wrong—there is plagiarism when you just say ‘Hey, man, what are you doing? I’ve heard that already.’ And I’m not stupid, of course it sounds like [the ’90s]. We’re using these vintage instruments and there is a certain sound, but it’s not just regurgitated. You can tell that we were listening to ’90s R&B. It has that spirit. That’s what we capture, and that’s what I want.”

Every time I think about it, my whole story is just weird,” says Mars. “Even I don’t get it!” He was born and raised in Honolulu, one of six children—his Filipino-Spanish mother was a singer and dancer; his Jewish–Puerto Rican father was a percussionist. By age 4, young Bruno (the nickname came from his father, who thought the infant Peter resembled wrestler Bruno Sammartino) was performing five days a week in the family band, the Love Notes, singing Michael Jackson and Temptations covers.

According to his older brother, Eric “E-Panda” Hernandez, when Bruno was just a few years old, his parents dressed him up as Elvis for Halloween. “He was already so in tune with Elvis that he was imitating the moves, the lips, drawing a crowd,” says Hernandez. “I thought, ‘Holy cow, he’s a showstopper already!’ ” “Little Elvis” went on to perform at halftime in the 1990 Aloha Bowl and had a cameo in the 1992 film Honeymoon in Vegas.

“If you took your kid to school with you every day, and you were studying rocket science, he’d probably be a rocket scientist,” says Mars. “So that’s just it—my dad and mom took me to work every single day, and I got to see what it’s like to entertain an audience. I got to entertain everybody who came to Hawaii—a roomful of people that didn’t speak English, from around the world—and to see what music can do, and how it can bring the world together.”

Above all, he learned the power of a great song, the fundamentals of writing music that far outlives its creator. Hernandez, who is now the drummer in Mars’s band, recalls Bruno constantly studying music videos—doo-wop, Michael Jackson, Elvis, anything he could get his hands on—in the bedroom they shared.

“I’ve been singing amazing songs since I was a kid,” Mars says. “They weren’t my songs, but they were classics. So I’ve trained my brain to know what it feels like to sing an amazing song—when you do a lot of covers, you see it; you’ll play a song and you see everybody freak out when you get to that chorus, everyone is singing. It taps into something, whether it’s nostalgia or it just makes people feel a certain way.”

His father gave him a guitar and started teaching him to play—surf music at first, classics like “Walk Don’t Run” and “Apache.” The influence ran deeper than just the music, as evidenced by the silk-shirt-and-shorts set, white shoes and gold jewelry he sports on the cover of 24K Magic. “The style stuff all comes from watching my dad—the pinkie rings, the pompadour, everything,” Mars says with a big grin. “My dad would take me to school in some big, busted-up Cadillac, and he’d be wearing a rhinestone jacket and have his hair all whipped and greased up, flashy glasses, and I was like, My dad’s not like the other dads at school! I’d try to get out of the car, zoom out. And now I’m the one driving the busted Cadillac, wearing some gaudy shit, and it’s what makes me happy.”

“Bruno is a fashion leader, with a sense of style that is truly his own,” says Tommy Hilfiger, whose clothes Mars sometimes wears onstage. “He is almost chameleonlike—for one concert, he’ll wear an animal-print shirt, then the next, he’ll be in a tuxedo, and it’s all him, he is totally in control of his presence.”

After graduating from high school, Mars moved to Los Angeles to pursue a musical career. (He now lives in the Hollywood Hills with model/actress Jessica Caban, whom he has dated since 2011.) He was signed by Motown Records in 2004 but then dropped. He kicked around town, signing a publishing deal, playing in cover bands and soaking up all he could from sympathetic, successful songwriters. He wrote songs for K’naan, Brandy and Flo Rida and, in 2009, co-founded a production team, the Smeezingtons.

His breakthrough came with the hits “Nothin’ on You” by B.o.B. and “Billionaire” by Travie McCoy, both of which featured his voice on the hooks, and then with Cee Lo’s 2010 smash politely known as “Forget You.” Just weeks before that song dropped, Mars released “Just the Way You Are,” the first single from his debut album on Atlantic Records, Doo-Wops and Hooligans. The irresistibly sweet ballad went to No. 1 and topped the adult contemporary chart for a record-breaking 20 weeks. (The next single, “Grenade,” also went to No. 1, and the ukulele-driven trifle “The Lazy Song” cracked the top five.) After a brief tour opening for Maroon 5, he played headlining dates for more than a year, as the album saw sales of more than six million units worldwide and an unbelievable 300-plus weeks on the Billboard Top 200.

On the road, though, Mars became aware of the limitations of his repertoire. “The first album was so ballad-heavy,” he says, “and when I toured I was like, ‘Man, I need to dance!’ We gotta pick this up, because we can offer more and we’re kinda stuck. And that’s where ‘Locked Out of Heaven’ and ‘Treasure’ and a lot of tunes on the second album came from, because we wanted to push the tempo.”

With an Anglo-reggae groove reminiscent of the Police (Mars and Sting sang together at the 2013 Grammy Awards), “Locked Out of Heaven” shot Unorthodox Jukebox out of the gate in 2012. The album explored disco and classic soul styles and topped charts around the world. And then, at the end of 2014, Mars was featured on producer Mark Ronson’s earth-quaking, booty-shaking, record-breaking throwback “Uptown Funk.” Certified diamond, for sales over 10 million, the song is only the eighth single in history to spend at least 14 weeks at No. 1. “Uptown Funk” won three Grammys, including record of the year, and for months it was unavoidable—on your TV, in your car or at sporting events.

Mars says the song emerged only after a long struggle and that they had almost tossed it away. “We went through some trials and tribulations,” he says. “I’m not lying when I tell you that we were fighting—I was on tour and Mark would send me something and I’d be like, ‘Are you out of your mind?’ And I’d send him something back and he’d be like, ‘No, my version is better.’ We were both fighting for the greater good of the song.

“You press play and it went, ‘This here’s that ice-cold…’ and it was like, ‘Oh, what’s about to happen?!’ But then ‘Oh, man, that’s what you got? Nah, never mind, turn it off.’ And that kept happening for months.

“Finally the solution was that we just needed to dance—to say, ‘Don’t believe me, just watch,’ and that’s it. Don’t try to write a hook. You don’t need more; that already said everything. But it took us a while to feel that, because the way we were doing it was so unorthodox, piece by piece. When we finally got together and picked up the instruments, we got to feel it. That’s when the superpower comes in.”

Even after cranking out so many hits—plus collaborations with and writing efforts for everyone from Lil Wayne to Alicia Keys, Adele to Jay Z and Kanye West—Mars has no formula or shortcuts; songwriting remains an instinctive craft.

“When you’re in the studio, you can feel the energy shift,” he says. “It’s no different from telling a good joke—you can tell when it lights up the room. Or from telling a shitty joke that makes everyone want to leave and you hear the crickets. So you’re always trying to find that magic and then capitalize on it.

“You find something—‘put your pinkie rings up to the moon’—and everyone’s excited, but now what? What does the bass sound like, or the drums? If ‘24K Magic’ is supposed to sound like I’m having the time of my life, you gotta hear me smiling on the record.”

There’s no bigger stage than the Super Bowl halftime show; Bruno Mars is one of a few performers who have played it twice. In 2014, he played during a rare northern excursion, as the 48th annual game took place in New Jersey. “Rehearsing in the cold sucked,” he says. “We got lucky on the day, it was 50 degrees, but two days before it was -9 or something.” His action-packed performance was the highest-rated halftime show ever (since surpassed by Katy Perry and Lady Gaga) and earned widespread raves, especially considering that his career hadn’t quite reached the spot’s usual mega-A-list status.

Then last year, on the heels of “Uptown Funk,” Chris Martin of Coldplay invited Mars and Beyoncé to join the group’s halftime set. “I told Chris, ‘This is your Super Bowl performance, you deserve it, go kill ’em,’ ” Mars says. “But he’s such a sweetheart and he kept saying, ‘Bruno, this is a gift I want to give to everybody.’ He talked me into it. He’s a sweet talker, that guy. And she signed up, and all of a sudden I’m in rehearsal dance-battling Beyoncé—what the hell happened?”

Mars is proud of his work ethic and dedication to every appearance, something Corden can attest to after they filmed a Carpool Karaoke segment last year (the clip has had nearly 40 million views on YouTube since airing in December). “My biggest memory of that day was that the second it ended, I got a little depressed,” says Corden. “Like the last day of vacation, where you’re on the plane home and feel sad that it’s over. It was so euphoric, I just wanted to do it again. There’s a moment at the end of ‘Uptown Funk’ where we’re just sitting there and breathing heavily, and that was real. His commitment was everything—we left it all in the car.

“I think he’s 100 percent on his way to being one of the greats,” Corden continues. “There are great showmen who get by without always having great songs and great songwriters who aren’t great showmen, but he’s both those things. He has this unquantifiable energy, where you want to watch it and be a part of it somehow.”

Hernandez notes that his brother works tirelessly, showing up for every sound check, sometimes arriving before the rest of the band. “He sees something lacking in the business, maybe something we were influenced by as kids that’s missing today, and he sticks to his vision,” says Hernandez. “He’s put that work mentality on the rest of the band, where he makes us want to be great.”

The rain has stopped and as the sun goes down over the Santa Monica Mountains, Mars heads to the restaurant’s back patio for a cigarette. He seems in no great rush to get back into the scramble of preparing for a tour and keeping the business humming. With the long process of an album finally complete, he says that although he’s open to the idea of more new music or another collaboration, he wants to be careful.

“I just don’t want to feel gross,” he says. “It’s as simple as that. I don’t want to feel gross, I don’t want to regret any decisions. Even if I turn down a sweet check because I don’t want to be on that billboard, hawking some shit to the world—I just don’t need to do that. Because you get one shot at this.

“I’m not a model. I’m not an ice skater. I’m not a chef. I’m here to do music. And I want to be able to look back and say, ‘Yeah, I did it the way I wanted to do it.’ Whether it triumphs or fails, I can live with that.”

#bruno mars #interview #wsj #2017

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seyoou-blog · 8 years ago

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“actually… dinosaurs and humans never lived together at the same time. you’re looking at a period of, like, 65 million years between when the last of the dinosaurs dwindled out and the first of the humans started to spring up, so they definitely did not co-exist, ever. that’s just a myth.”

“well, my mom told me to never trust a stranger.”

seyoon shrugs. “my name’s seyoon. there! now i’m not a stranger anymore.”

“okay! but how do you know that people didn’t live back then if you weren’t even there?”

the kid rubs his chin and narrows his eyes. “hm… alright then. i guess it’s probably a good thing we weren’t alive then because dinosaurs are scary and they’d probably eat us.”

“yeah, probably. some of them, anyway.”

“what do you think would’ve been more scarier to see? a t-rex or a spinosaurus?”

seyoon raises his brows and shrugs, leaning against the railing behind him. he’s come to the museum today to take a stroll and look at some of the fossils. having a full on conversation with a child wasn’t in his plans for today, but he’s glad for the conversation anyway. seyoon loves to talk, but if there’s anything he loves to talk about the most, it’s this kind of shit. “well… they’re both powerful and terrifying in their own ways. i guess i’d say spinosaurus, though, since it was even bigger than the t-rex. that’s one of my favorites.”

“me too! who do you think would win in a fight?”

the boy seems impressed. “wow, cool! you sure know a lot about dinosaurs!”

seyoon smiles and nods. many years of research have certainly paid off. “yeah, well, i think dinosaurs are cool so i like to learn about them. what about you?”

“yes! but i don’t know a lot of things like you…” the little boy huffs a little, then grabs the arm of another kid nearby. “hey! this guy knows everything about dinosaurs! i’m serious! and you were wrong about the caveman thing! he told me so.”

seyoon takes a second to mull the question over. the actual answer should be ‘no’, but he comes around often enough to know the lay of the land. part of him thinks he knows more than the actual people that work here do. he isn’t one to lie, though. at least not about this sort of thing. “well… technically, no, but i do come here to spread information sometimes.”

“oh, like a volunteer? do you do tours? my kids are here to learn about fossils but i couldn’t seem to find anything online about organizing something like that.”

“i… could. i could do that, yes.” technically. “did you want one?”

the woman seems incredibly relieved to hear this. “yes! we’d love one. are you starting one now?”

the guy at the desk simply furrows his brows at her. “tour guide?”

“yeah! the tall, skinny young man with the black shirt? he had a lot of information. he really knows his stuff - and he was so sweet, too! if i were you guys, i’d give him a raise!”

“oh, that kid…” another pause. “that kid does NOT work here.”

#selfpara.

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