#you finally understands himself and is ready to finally claim his own happiness?

[elliart7]

*rabidly converts all of my favorite things into 19th century fairy tale novels*

(click to see book texture 😁)

[fluentmoviequoter]

Doggitude

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x teacher!fem!reader (+ Kojo!)

Summary: After Tim takes his bad day out on you, you leave. Kojo misses you and does everything he can to see you again.

Warnings: angst, argument, Tim insults/belittles reader and her job, fluffy ending! KOJO!!

Word Count: 2.8k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Tim loves you, and loves his job, but sometimes those sides of him are at odds. You are happy, bubbly, a ray of sunshine in a dark world, whereas his job shows him only the dark. Each side of Tim impacts the others; a good day with you leads into a good day at work, and a bad day at work is occasionally taken out on you.

Tim knows he isn’t a great boyfriend, and he can be abrasive and use you as an emotional outlet when things aren’t going well. He tries, he really does, but some bad days make being a good person seem impossible.

This week, Tim has worked several shifts back-to-back and is in a terrible mood when his shift finally ends. He’s ready to get home, but he just wants to enjoy some quiet and go to sleep, so he decides not to call you. Even as he sees your picture on his phone screen, he finds your smile a bit too bright. You’re different than him, and Tim usually loves that, but at the end of three consecutive bad days, Tim wants to stew in his anger rather than see something bright, like looking into the sun after extended time in a cave.

✯✯✯✯✯

You’ve been spending time at Tim’s house while he’s been at work. Every minute with Kojo in the otherwise empty house has made you miss Tim even more. Your kindergarten class has been rowdy all week, but you refuse to let them dampen your mood. Excited at the idea of Tim finally coming home tonight, you sit with Kojo and wait, reviewing lesson plans and report cards in your spare time.

✯✯✯✯✯

Kojo looks up from your lap when the front door opens, and you smile brightly when Tim enters. He doesn’t notice you as he drops his bag and sighs.

“Hey,” you greet. “We missed you this week.”

Tim clenches his jaw as he turns to face you. “Have you been here every night this week?”

Nodding, you explain, “I wanted to see you, but I also needed to take care of Kojo.” 

He remains silent, his eyes focused on something behind you.

“Are you okay? I know it’s been a long week, but-“

“You don’t know,” Tim says, cutting you off. “You will never understand what a long week really is.”

“Tim, I-“

“No,” Tim snaps, stepping back as he shrugs sarcastically. “You do not understand what it is like for me. Your job is nothing; your long week is because a kid wets his pants, mine is because one of my own gets shot or I lose a suspect, and someone gets hurt because of it. In the grand scheme of things, your job doesn’t matter because people still become criminals and ruin lives like mine!”

Tim’s chest is heaving with anger, every little thing he had to deal with this week weighing on him while he takes it out on you. You bite down on your bottom lip as he continues hurting you, attacking you and the thing you love to make himself feel better.

“You’re angry and tired,” you begin, your smile long gone. “So, I’m going to go-“

“Don’t talk to me like I am one of students. You can barely control them, so don’t try to placate me. I have dealt with criminals who do more work than you.”

A tear rolls over your cheek, and you wipe it away harshly.

“Then go yell at them, since that seems to be what you do to the people you claim to care about,” you reply, grabbing your things.

“Don’t leave.” Tim rolls his eyes as he says it, like you’re overreacting.

“I didn’t want to, but you clearly do. I hope you feel better in the morning, Tim.”

The door slams behind you, and Tim runs his hand over his hair, pinching the tight muscle at the back of his neck. Kojo jumps from the chair where he was sitting beside you, rushing to the closed door and whimpering. He looks back at Tim, whining as he raises his paw toward the door. 

“I messed up, didn’t I, Kojo?” Tim asks.

Kojo whines again, a clear ‘yes.’ Kojo has loved you since the moment he met you, and Tim even refers to you as 'Kojo’s mom.' Tim pulls his phone from his pocket, dialing your number. He gets no answer, and Tim can’t blame you, but he also knows better than to chase you. He texts you and puts his phone away, calling Kojo to follow him to bed. Kojo stays at the door, lying down and watching the doorknob. 

“Sorry, buddy,” Tim says, leaving his bedroom door open in case Kojo forgives him in the night.

✯✯✯✯✯

Once you are safely in your apartment, you let yourself cry, Tim’s words on a loop in your mind. Your phone rings again, and you see Tim’s name with yet another message. Turning the ringer off, you push your phone away from you and curl up in the middle of your bed, crying rather than sleeping.

Tim has been emotional coming home from work before, saying something you didn’t deserve. He’s never taken it this far or made it about you personally before tonight. His comments about your job had to have come from somewhere, maybe something he’s been hiding. You don’t believe him; you know what you do is important, but Tim hurt you, and you’re not sure it will ever stop hurting.

When the sun appears on the horizon, you call in sick from work, prepared for a long weekend alone. Part of you wants to know if Tim is feeling better today, but then you remember what he did, giving you a bad day in his attempt to minimize his own.

“I miss Kojo,” you whisper, crying again as you remember that it’s not only Tim you’re losing.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Kojo?” Tim calls, growing more worried with each empty room.

Behind the kitchen island, Kojo is sitting and shaking with his head down. Tim kneels before him and lays a gentle hand on his back. Kojo begins whining, a different sound than his reaction to you leaving last night.

“What’s the matter, Kojo?” Tim whispers.

Kojo shakes harder, sliding his front paws out so he’s lying flat on the floor. Tim searches for a nearby vet hospital before picking Kojo up and carrying him outside. Once Kojo is in his truck, Tim drives to the vet hospital. Kojo’s whining turns to short barks as he carries him inside. The vet takes one look at Kojo shaking and leads Tim into an examination room. After checking Kojo's vitals quickly, the vet sets her equipment down and chuckles.

“Mr.?” she begins.

“Bradford. And that’s Kojo.”

“Mr. Bradford, Kojo is faking. There’s nothing wrong with him.”

“He’s- he’s fine?”

“Yes, he is. Dogs sometimes do this when they want attention or after something changes, in an attempt to get it back. Has something like that happened recently?”

Tim looks at Kojo and nods. 

“Someone will be in shortly with the paperwork. I’m glad Kojo is healthy. Have a nice day, Bradfords.”

As the door closes, Tim asks, “Wasn’t that a bit dramatic? Did you think I’d call her, and she’d answer for you?”

Kojo looks up and grunts at Tim. Someone knocks before handing Tim the bill and telling him he’s free to go. Tim looks down at the bill and releases a deep exhale. He should be upset with Kojo, but he probably deserves a lot worse for what he did to you.

“She really won’t come back now, Kojo. You spent all my money,” Tim mutters.

Kojo grunts again as Tim clips a leash to his collar. He refuses to look at Tim, upset that he was taken to the vet rather than your side.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim hasn’t texted in a few hours. He either realized you weren’t going to answer or decided he didn’t want to talk. You haven’t read the messages or played the voicemails, too hurt to communicate with Tim in any way. Reading his words or hearing his voice will make you cry harder, and you’re already nearly cried out.

Looking at a framed picture of Kojo, you wish things had been different, wondering if one little choice would have made things end differently. You didn’t sleep last night, and you’re sure you won’t sleep again tonight, too busy crying and mourning the loss of the most important boys in your life. As the sun sets, you begin sobbing, holding the picture of Kojo to your chest as you hear Tim’s angry words in your mind again.

✯✯✯✯✯

Kojo won’t come near Tim, content to sit by the door. When Tim moves, Kojo grunts, turning away. The doorbell rings, and Kojo steps back, watching Tim as he answers it. Signing for a package, Tim ignores Kojo’s growling.

“I can’t make her forgive me, pal,” Tim tells Kojo after he closes the door.

Kojo trots away, turning into the guest room to sleep. Tim sits on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose as he realizes he has two problems that must be solved. He hurt you, and worse, he hurt you intentionally, and now he has a dog that misses you and blames him. Tim understands why you are ignoring him and why Kojo is upset, too. Reaching for his phone, he texts you again, but the dozens of unanswered texts above the newest make him refrain from calling you.

✯✯✯✯✯

After managing to get an hour and a half of sleep, you hope the third night without Tim will be easier. When you hear a dog barking outside your window and a man talking kindly to the dog as if it will respond, you realize that tonight will likely be the worst. Tim and Kojo do that, have their own language, and you were part of their world for a brief, brilliant moment. And then it was snatched away from you, breaking your heart and hurting your mind in the process.

✯✯✯✯✯

“You have to go outside eventually, Kojo,” Tim says with his arms crossed over his chest and Kojo’s leash hanging from his hand.

Kojo grunts, looks toward the door, and slowly approaches Tim. On the walk, Kojo pulls harder than usual, not listening to Tim when he gives him commands.

“When is this dog-gitude going to pass, Kojo?” Tim asks. “Because there’s nothing we can do.”

Tim doesn’t realize how close he is to your apartment when he enters the dog park. Kojo runs back and forth across the park a few times, glad to stretch his legs after avoiding Tim in the house for a few days. When he stops suddenly, looking at Tim as his back legs drop, preparing to run, Tim knows he can’t stop him.

“Kojo, no!” Tim yells.

Kojo, of course, doesn’t listen. He runs past Tim, out of the dog park, and down the sidewalk as fast as possible. Tim follows behind, pushing himself past his limit to catch Kojo. When he sees the lights of a familiar apartment complex, he realizes that Kojo is finding you.

“Kojo!” Tim calls again, slowing as he begins up the stairs.

✯✯✯✯✯

A dog barks at your door, and for a moment, you think you are imagining Kojo’s presence. When claws scratch against the wood, you open the door slowly. Kojo pushes past you, circling your legs happily. You sink to the floor, wrapping your arms around Kojo. Unaware that you are still crying, you’re surprised when Kojo begins licking your chin, attempting to dry your tears.

Footsteps echo in the stairwell, and when Tim appears in your doorway, panting and pressing one hand to the doorjamb to stay upright, you turn toward him instinctually. Kojo grunts, moving in front of you, blocking Tim.

Tim sees your tears and bloodshot eyes and can’t stop himself from stepping inside. He closes the door and squats, keeping his eyes on you as he lowers to look in your eyes over Kojo’s head.

“Did you read my messages?” he asks softly.

You shake your head, and he nods before leaning back as he sits against the door.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Shaking your head again, you pull Kojo back into your arms and cling to him.

“I’m going to tell you want my messages said, but if you want me to stop I will,” Tim begins. “I never should have said those things about your job, because they were wrong. Teaching is important, and the kind of teaching you do is far more important than what I do. You give kids a chance to be the best they can be, and I have to find the bad people and make them pay for it. You already know that I had a long week, a bad one, too, and I took that out on you. I can’t say much more than I am sorry; I’m so sorry that I talked to you like that. You are the only good part of a life surrounded by grief. I- I wouldn’t forgive me.”

“Why?” you ask against Kojo. “Why did you say those things?”

“You- you’re bright, sunny, happy… all the time.”

“I thought you liked that about me.”

“I love that about you. But, after the week I had, it was just hard to turn away from the hard parts of the job and see pure light.”

“So, you don’t want to come back to-“

“Don’t finish that. This has nothing to do with you. This was all me, trying to deal with a bad week and making it far worse. Hurting you in the process was not my intention, and I can never make up for that.”

You hug Kojo tightly, thinking about what Tim said. Having two completely different life elements like that can’t be easy. If it’s not about him not wanting to come home to you, you’re not sure how to avoid the same thing in the future.

“I’m sorry,” Tim repeats. “And, if you give me a second chance, I will show you that I can separate the two. Bringing a bad day home to you, hurting you, is not an option and I never should have lost sight of that… I’ve missed you.”

“I missed Kojo.”

“Yeah, Kojo missed you too,” Tim replies with a dramatic raise of his brows. “Cost me nearly $1,000 trying to see you again.”

“How?” you ask, looking up at Tim again.

He softens when your eyes meet his. “He pretended to be sick trying to get you to come back, but I just took him to the vet. Emergency visits are expensive, even if there is no reason for it.”

“Did- did you follow him here?”

“Yeah. He ran from the dog park and came straight here.”

“Would you have come here if he hadn’t led you, or would you have just moved on after I stopped answering the phone?”

Tim slides closer until Kojo is the only thing separating him from you. “I would have come. I would have gotten on my knees and begged to apologize.”

“Just to apologize?”

“I can’t force you to forgive me or give me another chance, just tell you that I’m sorry and I miss you like crazy.”

“Well, I missed you like Kojo missed me,” you say quietly.

“That much?”

“I haven’t slept in three nights, so, yeah,” you answer with a chuckle.

Tim raises his hand to your face, placing his fingers under your jaw as his thumb moves gently across your cheek.

“I forgive you,” you whisper, leaning into his touch. “Just promise to talk to me, rather than take it out at me next time you have a bad day?”

“I promise,” Tim replies. “Kojo, move.”

Kojo grunts, moving closer to you.

“Kojo,” you say, smiling when he moves to your side, watching you closely for any sign of hurt.

“He likes you more than me. His mom left and nothing could make it better.”

“Has he been eating? Because I have some of his food here-“

Tim cuts you off, kissing you softly as his hand moves to the back of your neck. He moves slowly, communicating his love and his apology in his movements.

“Can we get off the floor?” you ask.

“Only if Kojo and I can stay for a while.”

“You can stay forever.”

Tim pulls you into his lap, smiling when you grab his shoulders in surprise. He kisses your jaw as he stands, pulling you up and moving to your couch.

“I’m sorry you had a bad week,” you say, patting for Kojo to join you.

“Why are you like this?” Tim replies.

“Because I’m sunny, and bright, and all things happy.”

“Lucky me,” Tim hums.

[poppadom0912]

Jay’s Masterplan

Summary: 5 times Jay's plans failed and 1 time it kind of worked out.

A/N: @desimarie12 who asked for a part two of Sylvie’s Masterplan. But, this can also be read as a standalone. I changed and expanded on your idea a lot. I got a little carried away and wrote 3.7k words

I’ve got a few more asks in my inbox left to finish for this 1k celebration so they’ll be coming out very slowly by the end of this week. I’m considering this to be part of it. I hope you enjoy!!

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

1.

It had been two days since your birthday, two days since Sylvie had been incredibly sneaky and achieved one of her biggest accomplishments in life: getting you and jay to finally go on a date.

Said date was today and the past two days had been filled with nothing but anticipation and excitement and endless teasing and cheesy smiles from your sister who seemed as happy as you.

Jay claimed that he had everything under control. He was going to take you out and he would be in charge of everything. You had nothing to worry about – he insisted.

Your first date was going to be perfect.

Sylvie came over to help you get ready. She sat cross legged on your bed as you skimmed your closet and the possible dresses to wear, giving her input when needed. She helped do your hair when time was running out and you were close to running the risk of being late.

Then the doorbell rang and before you could worry any further, she was pushing you out the door, quelling all your worries with the promise that she would clean up the mess that was your bedroom before she went back home.

You didn’t miss the sly smirk on her face when you opened the door, and Jay couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Be good and have fun kids! Make sure you use protection!” Sylvie smiled, waving you off like a mother.

You could hear her cackles after you let out a weird, almost unattractive noise, embarrassed at her words. “Sylvie!”

“I’m so sorry about her, she’s…”

“She’s being Sylvie.”

Jay was very chivalrous, opening the car door for you before he got in himself. The entire car ride had been filled with comfortable chatter and your pre-date jitters had started to die down.

His story was suddenly cut off by a traffic jam. Cars were beeping and drivers were shouting out each other. You had to roll your window to try understand what was happening.

You heard the words 9-1-1 and ambulance being shouted by numerous voices and both of you were already getting out, sharing a quick glance, exchanging no words.

You followed Jay towards the crushed cars, the smoke piling up was now a cause for concern.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" Jay asked a woman who was stumbling out her car. She held her bloodied head and tripped over her feet disorientated.

"Come with me please. I'm a nurse, I can check you out." You said, moving towards the woman, offering an arm for her to hold onto which she did without question.

Leading her towards the pavement, you looked back at Jay whose eyes hadn't left you, making sure you were safe and had everything under control.

Smiling, you nodded slightly, giving him all the assurance he needed to leave you and do his own thing.

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

2.

So the first date was a bit of a flop.

You ended up going to the hospital with one of the victims involved in the crash and at the end of the night, it had gotten too late to continue with Jay's original plans.

All that was possible was a small takeout at you apartment. In your opinion, this had been one of your most memorable first dates ever.

But, Jay wasn't satisfied. He was committed to taking you out on a proper date, he wasn't taking no for an answer.

It was now two weeks later, both your afternoons lining up together perfectly.

Due to a small timing problem, you would be meeting Jay at the park. He had to sort something out at work really quickly but that gave you enough time to set everything up to your exact preferences.

You knew Jay would have wanted more of a say in the set up but you wanted to contribute something. You brought a cute picnic blanket and a few small foods to nibble on.

Bored, you started picking on the mini charcuterie board you made, eating the cracker as you surveyed the park.

It was nice and peaceful. All the kids were in school, most people at work and only a few people were in the park, walking their dogs or going for a quick midday run.

All of a sudden, you were brought out your reverie by a light tapping on your shoulder. Looking over, you saw a small chubby hand retreating from your shoulder.

Following it, you found yourself looking at a child who couldn't be any older than two.

"Hello." You smiled softly at the little girl, her hair in two small pigtails that held just enough hair to tie up, the tiniest purple trainers and the cutest dungarees. "Honey are you lost?"

She shook her head, her finger pointing at the cracker in your hand. "I have cracker please?"

You swooned, internally aweing and cooing at her voice. Despite being a labour and delivery nurse, you could never get over your baby fever.

"Oh! You want a cracker?" You replied, already picking up a cracker to give to her which she took with the cheekiest smile on her face, her dimples almost blinding you.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Her pronunciation was slightly off but that only made her cuter.

Without any further prompting, she sat opposite you, her legs crossed as she started to eat.

You were so confused and caught up in this little girl that you hadn't seen Jay entering the park. You unfortunately missed the moment his face lit up the second he noticed you.

Walking towards you, his smile slowly turned into a confused frown as he caught sight of the toddler sitting with you.

"Sylvie never mentioned you were a mum."

You jumped, head whipping up to look at him in alarm. "Jay! Hey!"

You stood up, wrapping him in a quick hug and pressing a light kiss on his cheek before pulling away to look down at the toddler who was now on her second cracker.

"Yeah I have no idea where she came from but she asked very politely for some crackers." You said, your smile soft as watched her take a grape.

"No parents in sight?" Jay asked. Both of your eyes were stuck on her as if hypnotised.

"Literally no one is here but us Jay." You rolled your eyes, pointing out the obvious. "She literally appeared out of thin air."

"Cool." Jay hummed, nodding as if it was completely normal to have a random child come up to you and start eating your food.

You sighed wistfully, sitting back down in your spot, the little girl looking up as you did so.

"Is it yummy?" You asked, unable to stop yourself from smiling at the way her head titled to the side.

"Yes, yummy!" She nodded eagerly. "Thank you!"

"Your welcome darling." Gosh you were so gone for her and Jay took notice of how captivated you were of her.

"Gosh I just want to eat her." You said in an almost aggressive manner.

Jay totally didn't feel anything watching how you interacted with her. His heart definitely wasn't going all soft and gooey, his mind definitely wasn't wandering.

For a split second, Jay could envision a future with you.

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

3.

Third times a charm, at least that's what they say.

The two previous attempts of a first date hadn't been very successful. Your last date almost was, you didn't mind the company of the toddler but her parents needed to be found, a task that took over two hours.

Todays date was fool proof. Nothing, and Jay guaranteed it this time, nothing was going to go wrong.

On both of your days off, you both decided on lunch again. This time, unlike the past two, you were successfully able to sit and eat an entire meal without anything going awry.

Just like Jay said, nothing had gone wrong and it was almost the perfect first date.

The only thing left to make this perfect would be-

Gunshots.

Wait, that wasn't right. Gunshots were the opposite of perfection, they would ruin everything.

Gunshots?

Screams echoed in the distance and instantly, Jay was running, his hand tightening its grip around yours.

You mentally cursed yourself for choosing to wear heels.

Jay was shouting some words down his radio that he conveniently carried on him at all times. You could recognise him calling his team for backup.

Turning the corner, you were almost away from the direction of the shooting when all of a sudden, something whizzed past you and Jay groaned.

"Oh my God!" You reacted on instinct.

With the hand still holding his, you pulled him towards you and immediately inspected and gingerly held his bleeding bicep.

"Okay good, you'll be fine, it's just a graze." You sighed in relief as you took off your cardigan, wrapping it around the wound, ignoring Jay asking for you not to ruin such a nice pattern.

"I'll be fine, I can wait for an ambo-"

Jay stopped himself when you looked up at him deadpanned, mouth closing as he petulantly let you tighten up your knot.

"I'm the professional here Jay Halstead so you listen to me." You didn't break eye contact as you tightened it even more to the point that he let out a miniscule wince. "Just wait till I tell your brother about this."

"Wait, Y/N, you don't have to tell Will. Don't tell him please."

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

4.

Fourth time around, you were slowly starting to lose hope at ever having a successful first date with the man.

At this rate, you were becoming kinda desperate to the point where you were contemplating getting Sylvie involved and having her plan everything since she was clearly much better than both you and Jay combined.

You left the house with your expectations very low and you were right to have done so because not even ten minutes after leaving your house, you suddenly found yourself bagless.

The man had been so quick with it that you had no time to even react.

You weren't even surprised, just disappointed that you hadn't been holding your bag tighter. You should've known better.

Damn. Your phone was in your bag too.

Sighing, you turned around. Your destination changed now. You needed to go to the 21st precinct now.

One thing was on your side today since the walk was under ten minutes and you had worn the appropriate footwear this time too.

Entering the precinct, you smiled and waved at Trudy. You had been well acquainted with the older woman through Sylvie and Mouch.

"Hey Trudy, do you by any chance know if Jay's already left?" You asked nervously, now realising that this all could've been a waste of time if he already left to go to your date.

Trudy studied you closely, eyes squinted as she tried to figure out what was happening. "You two still haven't gone on a date yet? You want me to have a word with him Brett?"

You chuckled, appreciating her protective nature. "No it's okay but I think I was just robbed."

Trudy wasn't laughing with you. Her face dropped, eyes wide at your confession.

"Then why you standing around here for?" She huffed incredulously as she rounded her desk and started pulling you towards the Intelligence gates.

"Come on, we're going to confront lover boy."

She gave you no time to answer back as you were already in the bullpen, everyone staring at you with lots of confusion.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Jay asked, eyes going to the clock when a wave of fear crashed over him. "There's still twenty minutes till our reservation-"

"Brett 2.0 has been robbed." Trudy said, not wanting to waste any more time. "What a boyfriend you are huh?"

Both of you ignored that last part, everyone's eyes widening at the statement.

"Shit- are you hurt?" Jay asked, chucking his file aside and striding towards you, taking you in his arm and inspecting your body for any visible injuries.

"I'm completely fine, untouched." You assured him, taking hold of his hands to stop his unnecessary worrying. "It's just my bag - phone, wallet, keys, cards all that stuff."

"We'll find it." Jay stated, no hesitation or doubt in his words. "I'll track your phone and hopefully we'll find this man."

"We'll need another rain check." You said sadly, trying not to show too much disappointment.

"It's okay, don't worry about that." Jay shook his head.

"As long as your okay and safe - that's all that matters."

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

5.

The night had started off without a hitch and you were trying not to think about it too much.

This had all been very last minute. Jay had randomly called you, inviting you out to the very fancy restaurant that neither of your salaries could afford.

Apparently, he helped someone out at work and they owned the restaurant. So as a favour, they wanted to let him and a friend have a free dinner.

Jay wasn't going to pass on this opportunity, especially if he could take you on a date.

You were both dressed up the most fancily either of you had been for any of your failed attempts of dates. It was safe to say that Jay was even more attractive, if that was even possible, when he put a little extra effort in.

All your food had been ordered and your conversation had been flowing smoothly from one topic to the next. You had to cross all your fingers and toes to not jinx yourself.

Before the food could come, you quickly excused yourself to the restroom. You needed to go really quick and maybe touch up your face a little bit too.

The women's side was empty and so you wasted no time, quickly doing your business, washing your hands and fixing yourself in the very bougie mirror.

Reapplying your lip gloss and fixing a few stray hairs, you took a quick picture of yourself in the mirror, sending it to Sylvie before leaving.

As you went to pull the door handle, you recoiled, hissing and shaking your hand from the burning heat.

Hesitantly, you slowly moved your finger, wanting to touch it again really quickly to double check you weren't hallucinating.

Hissing again, your fears were confirmed. There was a fire.

Just great. This was perfect. Exactly what you wanted.

You had nothing on you to protect yourself. The shawl you brought had been taken by the hostess, the only sort of extra material you had on your person were the glasses cloth for your reading glasses.

But it wasn't nearly big enough to cover your face. It was good enough though to pull the door handle without inflicting too much damage on your hand.

Blowing out a puff of air, you psyched yourself up, bouncing a little in your heels. You had no idea how bad the fire was but either way, you had to be prepared to move.

Just as you pulled the door open, your phone started ringing. But you were already on the move now and answering the phone wasn't a part of the mini plan you just formulated.

So, like the smart individual you were, you ignored your buzzing phone and tried to make your way out of the smoke.

It was quite thick considering the time frame. You didn't think you were gone for too long but you were struggling to see through the smoke, let alone make your way through it.

Trying to keep ahold of your breath, you squinted to try make out the corridor and the walls. The restaurant was the type of fancy that all the walls were identical and in this disorientated state, it was even harder to distinguish where you were going.

You were starting to struggle with your breath, you'd have to inhale soon so you had to get out of here fast.

Tripping over your feet, you caught yourself on the wall, coincidentally another metal handle that was hot. Without thinking, you pulled your hand away and you fell to your knees.

You weren't able to overthink everything like you normally would.

Wincing, you quickly pulled yourself up and this time, you couldn't avoid breathing and inhaling the smoke. Your coughing fit was expected but that didn't make it any less pleasant.

Ignoring the tingling in your knees, you dragged yourself to stand straight, cloth back over your mouth and moving again towards any sort of exit.

"Call out!"

You paused. Did you hear that right?

"Call out!"

No, you were actually hearing it. If you had to guess, that sounded like the man your sister was deeply in love in. If it wasn't Matt that was shouting then you were truly losing it.

Deciding to risk it, you called out. "Matt?!"

There was a pause before you heard a commotion. "Y/N! Call out again!"

Stifling your coughs, you listened, calling out again as you moved towards the sound of his voice.

If it wasn't for the adrenaline flooding your veins, you would've deflated in relief at the familiar sight of the firefighter, a few men behind him who you couldn't recognise as the smoke was getting thicker.

Without any further word, Matt pulled you towards him and started escorting you away, shouting a few words at his men. "Y/N was there anyone else back there with you?"

You shook your head, coughing again. "No, it's only me."

It took a moment but as soon as you were outside, relief could've drowned you.

Despite all the beautiful fresh air, it welcomed you with an even more wonderful coughing fit.

In a blurry of motions, you found yourself being gently moved to sit down on a stretcher.

"Y/N, oh my gosh, thank goodness." You recognised Sylvie instantly without even looking. You could hear the tears wanting to escape in the thickness in her voice. "We were so scared."

Sylvie was multitasking, talking to you as she started fretting over you, checking for any visible injuries before starting to treat you for smoke inhalation.

"My hand." You rasped out when you realised she hadn't taken note of your trembling hands just yet.

"Shhh, don't talk." Sylvie gently caressed your arm before disappearing back into what you think is her ambulance.

You started blinking to get rid of the blurriness and the first thing you saw when you finally gained your somewhat clear vision was a harried looking Jay.

"Oh, hey."

"Hey you." Jay replied, a small smile that fell when he saw the breathing mask being put over your face and Sylvie beginning to bandage your hands. "Don't ever scare me like that, ever again you hear me?"

Just as you were going to reply, Jay shook his head, moving his hand back so that he wouldn't touch you. "Please, don't say anything."

The look on his face made you wish you still couldn't see properly. Looking into the smoke was less painful than looking at his face drowning in hurt.

"And don't you dare say sorry either or else this fire will be the least of your problems."

You sighed in relief, from both this newfound oxygen and from being reunited with Jay.

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

+1

Luckily for you, your injuries weren't too bad, just some smoke inhalation and third degree burns but you did have the stay overnight for observation.

The adrenaline was slowly starting to die down now that you were in the hospital. The room was silent and you could finally start to relax.

Before your thoughts could spiral, Jay re-entered the room, weirdly with a tray in hand.

"Don't talk, I asked Will and he advised you try not talk too much but if you must, then whisper please - for my sake."

You could only nod, your eyes trained on him as he made his way across the room towards you, placing the tray on the folding table.

As if knowing what you were going to ask him, a smile broke out on his face as he moved the little table towards you.

"Well, our date didn't go to plan, again, so I thought we'd do it here." He revealed, as he uncovered the tray of what you now knew was food from the hospital cafeteria.

"Now I know this wasn't the food we were going to have tonight but, you eat it everyday so there must be something to it." He shrugged, very smooth as he opened the individual packages.

"All the main dishes were gone but this can't be too bad."

Looking back at you, Jay was caught off guard at how you were staring at him. Despite everything that happened tonight, there was this softness and longing in your eyes that made his heart skip a beat.

The corner of your eyes were crinkling as they squinted. Even under the oxygen mask, it was so obvious that you were smiling, as bright as you did on your first failed date.

Jay wanted to make you smile that like for however long you allowed him to.

"Thank you." You whispered to him, blowing him a kiss from under the mask.

Jutting your head towards him, he didn't need any words to know what you were asking of him.

Taking off the oxygen mask and putting on the nasal canula, Jay made sure he was doing everything right, Will's words replaying in the back of his mind.

His touch was feather light, fingers much more colder than your way too warm cheeks.

"Okay so, sandwich first?" He asked, surveying the options again, waiting for your nod or shake of your head.

When you nodded, he opened the package and held it out to you so you could take a bite. Your hands were both bandaged making you incapable of doing anything yourself.

You smiled at him with your mouthful, your cheeks puffing out to express your gratitude for him.

As you chewed, he opened his own and also started to eat his dinner, alternating between feeding you and himself in comfortable silence.

This definitely wasn't what Jay had planned for your first date but it was definitely a memorable one and he wouldn't have you either way: happy and safe, well fed and content.

If this just the first date, then Jay couldn't wait for a lifetime full of them.

[peachyloveswriting]

I just loved your writing! So get ready for the highs to come! how Vash, Knives and Wolfwood would react to a reader who is immortal, like Kenny from south park, the reader keeps dying in tragic and horrible ways or even weirdly funny ways in front of them, but for some strange reason, the next day you're alive,as if nothing had happened the day before.

sIf you want to approach it in a somewhat comical way, because in the south park cartoon kenny is cursed by immortality, because his parents went to a satanic ritual because there was free beer. If you want to tackle that part of the story, that's fine with me.

Actually, this is kind of funny. Kenny is my favorite South Park character at this point I know him inside out. Lol. This ought to be interesting. Thanks for the request. I'm actually really excited to write for knives finally! Let me know what you think.

YOU'RE IMMORTAL!? --- Vash, Knives, & Wolfwood

SUMMARY: For years you've wondered where your immortality comes from, your parents never told you so you kept it to yourself. Until the day came that someone remembered.

WARNINGS: Major angst, death, death description, death mentions, trauma. Please continue at your own discretion. I warned you.

NOTES: Vash's part is before he runs into Meryl and Roberto because I'm too lazy to write the other characters reactions as well. Wolfwood's part is short because I spent all my energy on Vash and Knives. I think Knives is my favorite part, I'm cherishing it.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

Vash

"Sleepy head. C'mon wake up." You shake Vash's shoulder to wake him up. He groans before his eyes crack open. At first seeing you he mumbles a greeting before turning over to ignore you. It was right when he was going to turn away that the realization hit him like a freight train. His eyes suddenly open wide, pain swims inside of them as he looks up at you.

There was no way this was possible. Just the night before you had died right in front of him. Your head was blown into bits by some piece of shit bounty hunter. You had nothing to do with this. There was no reason for it to happen and it was all because you got involved with him. He was just starting to accept what happened and now here you are shaking him awake.

"I must be crazy." He mumbles to himself. Tears pool in his eyes and he sits up, bringing his hands to cover his face. "It's not real."

"Vash?" His babbling is confusing. He wouldn't know about you dying would he. No one else seemed to realize, so why would he? His sobs make this almost clear as day. Lifting a hand you rest it on his shoulder with a reassuring squeeze. "What's wrong?" He continues sobbing into his hands and saying things you can't understand. It breaks your heart to see him like this, he's never cried in front of you before he's always been so happy and lucky. What happened?

Sliding your hand across his back and pulling him close, you hug him tightly. With your other hand pressed to the back of his head you tuck it safely under your chin where his teas soak your skin. Quietly you hush him, rubbing soft patterns along his back and whispering soft reassurances until he's reduced to nothing but harsh breathing.

Suddenly he speaks. "You're not real." He claims. Lifting his head to pull away from the hug he securely grabs your biceps. "You've got to be a ghost."

Now it's clear, exactly what's going on. Lifting your hands to cup his face you hush him once more. "It's me Vash. It's really me. I'm still here."

He shakes his head and his bottom lip trembles. "But I watched you die. I even buried you!" He cries.

Frowning, you pull him back into a secure hug. That night is as clear as ever in your head. You were laying flat on your back struggling against a man that pressed his gun to your head. You weren't strong enough to push him away and he pulled the trigger before Vash could stop him. You still remember hearing Vash calling out to you right before you died. He shouldn't have remembered in the slightest. That should have been the only time you'd ever have to see him in a bad mental state over your death. Yet he sat in your arms mentally destroyed by the sight of you.

How would you explain everything to him? Even worse, how could you put him through something like that and expect him to not be upset at you? This is the first time you've ever had to consider these things, it's never happened before. How were you supposed to deal with this?

Vash lifts his head once more to look you in the eyes. "You're not playing tricks on me right?" He asks in a broken voice. The tip of his node is red now and his eyes are puffy too. He even trembles in your touch. Why did it have to be him?

"Vash, I need to tell you something." His eyes don't show any hint of what might come next and that scares you. Anything could happen, the possibilities are endless and not all of them are good. You take a deep breath to quell your frayed nerves. It doesn't work but you try to carry on the calmest you can.

"What I'm about to tell you might make you mad or even make you think I'm crazy but I swear to you what you saw that night and what you're seeing right now is absolutely true. I did die." My hands can no longer hold onto him any more, they shake so hard I can't occupy them at all. Vash suddenly intertwines our fingers together to calm my shaking. I offer a brief smile before continuing.

"I can't die. I'm immortal." Those words are the hardest to say. Now that it's done it feels so easy but I know I might not be able to deal with causing this kind of trauma again.

Vash's hands loosen from mine. "Oh thank goodness!" I'm tackled into a hug. He has me pinned to the ground from his enormous weight and his head is tucked away against my neck. "I thought I really lost you." He lifts his head to look down at me. "You have no idea how happy I am." Tears still flow freely down his face as he gives me that stupid smile of his. It still makes my stomach do flips just looking at it.

"I could kiss you right now!" He doesn't move to do anything even though he's already announced it. He stares at me quietly in anticipation for my response. With wide eyes and a red hot face I nod. He's eager to kiss me right away as his hands find my face in no time at all. Surprisingly he's a lot more gentle than I expected. His lips are so warm and soft against mine. Quick to start but in no time to stop, Vash deepens the kiss for just a brief moment before he pulls away.

"Oh my god I have so much to tell you. I love you so much. I was so worried when it happened, gosh I wish all humans were immortal."

You chuckle at his excitement. "You can tell me all about it whenever you want. I've got all the time in the world."

"Hey. I do too." Vash beams down at you. Your eyes widen and your stomach does somersaults. "Wait, what!?"

Allowing you to sit up, Vash nervously scratches the back of his neck. "I guess I have something to tell you too."

Millions Knives

You woke up in your bed slightly out of it. The events from the day before are ever present in your mind. The little girl the doctor had been escorting everywhere had killed you. It was accidental on the Doctor's behalf but that girl had every intention of filling you with nails. Waking up the next day completely okay isn't out of the ordinary, it's happened before. It's still shocking to die and wake up completely okay it never seems to entirely become a nonchalant process.

You left your room and passed by the very doctor who watched you die. Just like every other morning he gives you a wave as you pass by which you return happily. He doesn't remember which is a good thing. No one has ever remembered you dying before, at least it's yet to come into fruition. You're glad that day hasn't come yet, you're still unsure of what to do when it does.

"Oh, Doc?" You turn to face him. He does the same. "Where's Naï?"

The doctor frowns. "He's been in his room since yesterday." That's strange, Knives doesn't need sleep, so why would he be in his room?

"Thanks." You offer a parting wave as you turn to walk off towards knives room. Knives or Naï, as he lets you call him, lets you stay here in the tower with him. He often enjoys your company throughout the night, everyone finds it bizarre that you won him over. It's obvious that mostly everyone except for the Doc and Naï hates you. Each one of them respects you in the presence of Knives but away from him, they make it known.

The reason why Naï favors you is unknown. He never speaks about it and he always acts like he wants to keep you at arms distance, but it's so much more than that. He's played songs for you on his piano and claims he made them for you himself. He makes sure your needs are met, he gives you food, a bed to sleep in, and keeps you happy. Naï protects you. There have been times where you've needed saving from someone within the building, mostly the ones who hate you. You call his name and he's by your side immediately, it's amazing. Sometimes you wake up to Naï sitting at the end of your bed watching the door, other times you find him tracing parts of your skin with his metal attachments.

You're not scared of him but everyone else is. Even as you step up to his door and lift your hand to knock, you're not scared. Just after your first knock, a scream comes from inside. Wooden shards break apart from the door as his metal tendrils snap through. You scream and drop to the floor with your arms covering your head.

Knives has always seen himself as a being who's incapable of truly caring for another, especially humans. Humans are the very thing he has worked his whole life to get rid of and yet at this moment in time he finds himself scared. The scream that had come from the other side of the door sounded like you, but how? You had died hours before, surely it was someone else.

"Go away!" He warns. His tendrils recede from the door and back inside of him where they seeth with unrest.

Seeing his blades recede you slowly rise to full height, your legs shaking underneath you. "Naï, it's me" Your hand shakes profusely as you rest it along the threshold to keep your balance.

Inside the room, Knives can feel his anger boil. "You dare impersonate them. I'll kill you!" In anger he stands from his bed and extends his tendrils once again. They break through the door, pulling back to rip it away inside the room. He steps forward, releasing his blades from the holes within the broken door to slice his visitor into pieces. For the first time, he feels time slow to a stop. His heart is pounding in his ears and his chest burns hot.

It's not possible. Humans don't have the ability to sustain injuries like the ones he saw from you and walk away unharmed. Humans definitely can't come back to life. He knows it, so why are you cowering in his doorway shaking with fear? Why can he hear you telling him to stop? Why is he scared?

Your arms cover your view again, you know it's a futile effort. He could kill you any time he pleased yet you tried to block it anyway. Surely you were already dead, you'd wake up again in your bed and return back to normal. Instead, rapid footsteps race towards you. Fear consumes you. This nightmare was really still going.

Naï screams your name as he tackles you. His strong arms scooping you into his grasp and sweep you from the floor. Gasping in surprise you open your eyes to find him looking at you in fear. Falling to his knees he releases you onto your knees.

"You died how are you still alive?" His breathing is hard and rapid as his hands raise to cup your face. He's so soft when he touches your skin like he's afraid he might break you if he presses too hard. "I didn't hurt you just now did I?" Panic fills him when you don't respond, his chest begins to ache and his eyes begin to sting.

"Please, speak. I'm so scared right now." This is the first time you've ever heard him beg. He's never sounded so scared before or alone.

"Naï." You wrap your arms around him pulling him into a hug. He can feel you shaking hard against him as small whimpers fall from your lips. He's never known a feeling stronger than the one he feels now. The way his heart tugs at the sound of your cries when he securely wraps his arms around you in fear of this all being fake.

Feeling his arms wrap around you, releases the tension in your body. Suddenly the fear you held onto at the beginning melts away and his smell calms your nerves. His breathing stutters against your neck before he lifts his head to cup your face again. Tears now soak his face and shine with the lights in the room. His hands tremble against you as they hold you.

"I'm so sorry, I scared you." Closing his eyes in disdain, he shakes his head and presses his forehead to yours. "I didn't think it was you- I thought you died."

Your heart aches as you grab his shaking wrist. "Don't worry about that Naï. I'm here. It's ok."

Opening his wet eyes he pulls his head away and grabs your hands. "How are you here? I saw the video. She killed you, I saw your body myself. I swear you... I was so scared. First Vash... But you too."

Pulling your hands from his you raise them to wipe the tears from his face. "Breathe Naï, I haven't left you. I can't even die."

His eyes grow wide as his breath hitches in this throat. "I'm immortal, Naï."

For a moment he stares at you, unsure of whether he can believe your words or not. You're living proof, touching him and talking to him right now. Even when he saw you dead that was real too he was sure of it. Was that really the truth? Could you really not die? Even with his doubt, relief filled him from top to bottom. The corners of his mouth began to twitch upwards into a smile, what he could only describe as joy warmed him.

"My flower..." He coos. "You can stay with me forever?"

You nod. "Yes. Naï. I can stay."

Breaking free of your hands, he pulls you into another hug. The only being he's felt this way towards is you and if he had to say what love is he'd tell someone about you. The joy you bring him is immeasurable to everything else in this stupid world. He'd kill an empire of people just for you and you alone. You are the ultimate being, the one that's just perfect for him.

"I don't know if this is right but I love you." He pulls away.

Heat blooms in your cheeks. Did he really say that? The most powerful being, could snap you like a twig and yet he presses a soft delicate kiss to your forehead.

"Oh Naï. I love you too."

Wolfwood

This was the first time during Wolfwood's contract that he let Vash leave his eyesight. Never before had he experienced enough grief to make him walk away from something like this. Maybe you were just the last straw. For sure he would retire after this. He had something with you and just like that it's gone. He would never feel something like that again, it's just not possible.

Sitting alone in the desert he was sure you called his name somewhere in the distance, for some reason he felt hope before it fell and shattered to the ground. You were gone, there's no reason for his mind to be playing tricks on him like this. He couldn't subject himself to this kind of torture and live on. No. But then it came again and it was closer this time. You called out to him from somewhere in the distance. You begged for him to come back, but he knew it was just a hallucination. Knowing that, he still turned around to see your figure wading through the darkness towards him.

Seeing him turn around, you jogged forward with worry. "Nick! You can't just leave like that. Do you know how worried I was. I've been searching for you since this morning. I thought something horrible happened."

He turned around and didn't say anything. If god was real he was surely laughing at him from hell right now. Just as he thought your memory had left your hands slid around his chest and you pressed against his back. He watched you lay your head on his shoulder with a sigh of relief. Was it even possible to go this crazy?

"You're dead. So stop following me." He grumbles.

Hearing those words fall from his mouth leaves you frozen against him. "You remember?" You stammer.

Suddenly he breaks free of your grasp and stands to face you. "Of course I remember you dying. Did you really have to remind me, you damn trick."

This has never happened before, it would have happened eventually for sure but why did it have to be with him?

"No one's ever remembered me dying before." You mutter.

His eyes widen and he backs away from you, anger laced on his face. Turning away he grabs his cross and settles it on his back. "Stop talking crazy!" With his back turned he begins to walk away. Your heart drops as you rush forward to stop him.

"Nick. Wait!" You trip against the sand. Gritting your teeth, you push yourself to your feet. "I can't die. I'm immortal!" Grabbing his shoulder, you force him to face you. "Feel me! I'm alive and well right in front of you! And maybe I should have said something sooner but I didn't think I'd have to. Nick please just believe me." Tears pool in your eyes. "Please."

Nick's gaze doesn't leave the sand at your feet. The crushed cigarette in his lips falls to the wayside and he sets the cross down. You died, yet you stood in front of him. He could hear you, touch you, it had to be you. How would he know otherwise? Even if it wasn't real what could it hurt to indulge himself just a little bit. So, he drops his facade and reaches forward to capture you in his arms.

You're hard, your skin is squishy and warm. You're not soaked with blood. This is real, it's real. It has to be. "I swear if this isn't real..." He trails off.

Wrapping your arms around him and sighing into his chest, you speak. "I swear it's real. Nick... I'm sorry."

Feeling his legs grow weak, Nick falls to his knees and pulls you down with him. Against you he begins to shake and his breath grows ragged. "You scared me baby." He cries.

You raise and hand to the back of his head and stroke his hair. "I'm so sorry."

[blakeswritingimagines]

The Room Where It Happens

Summary: Marrying such a sweet girl who did nothing but try to please Aemond in everyday possible seemed easy until the prince laid his eye on you.

Word count: 4.3k

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Iris had woken up early doing her best to make everything easy for Aemond once he woke up, hoping that this made him happy since neither of them seemed to find an easy groove yet in this marriage of only a few months. Putting off trying for children until they both felt like they knew each other a little bit better as Iris remained unaware of him seeing you and going so far as to even lay with you instead. Smiling when Aemond finally awake as Iris stood up straighter hoping she wouldn't make a fool of herself but watched as he slowly started moving around getting ready for the day "Hello my love, I've already prepped your favorite things for the day." Iris could see a frown on Aemond's lips as he slowly sat up in his bed. His wife would often smile at him as she woke up before him, trying to make his mornings more pleasant. She always attempted to do things for him to make his day easier. Aemond appreciated her efforts, but he couldn't help but think about the night before. "I'm not hungry," Aemond said in a flat tone before turning away from Iris. He stared out the window for a moment before turning back towards her, his frown increasing. "You didn't have to be so attentive." He took a seat and poured himself a cup of Arbor Gold. "How much longer do you plan on trying to make yourself indispensable?"

Iris looked hurt by her husband's words. She had been trying so hard to make him happy, hoping that he would be content with her. She loved him, and all she wanted was for him to feel the same way about her. She reached for the bottle of wine on the table and poured herself a glass, taking a long drink before she spoke in a hurt tone. "Why shouldn't I try to be the best wife I can be? Is that not what you want?" Iris said, her eyebrows raised in confusion. Aemond looked up at Iris, his expression neutral as he took in her words. He could see the pain in his wife's eyes, and it pained him to see her upset. Despite not being overly affectionate, Aemond did have real feelings for Iris and it hurt him to see her hurt. "Iris, you're a great wife," Aemond said softly, his tone softening. "There's nothing wrong with you… It's not you, I just-" He trailed off, looking up at his wife. His voice was filled with uncertainty.

Iris looked down into her glass of wine, fighting back tears of disappointment. She took another drink from the bottle, as her husband was quiet with his words, feeling that she was failing him when all she wanted was to make him happy. She wasn't used to these feelings of guilt, and not knowing how to make everything better. She turned back to him, waiting for him to continue speaking. "You just what, my lord?" She asked, tilting her head slightly. Iris sat in silence for a moment, processing what her husband had said to her. Aemond sounded as if he was trying to find an explanation for his behavior, but it wasn't helping to alleviate the confusion Iris felt. "What is it then, Aemond?" Iris asked softly, looking at her husband with a concerned expression. She wanted her husband to be happy, and she wanted to better understand his feelings. "Are you unhappy with me?" It was difficult to hide the desperation in her voice.

Aemond sighed deeply and looked away. The guilt was clear on his face, and he could tell by looking at Iris that she suspected something was wrong. He thought about lying to Iris, telling her that he felt under the weather, but he knew that wouldn't work. Iris was too smart and too persistent. "Iris, I-" Aemond started, but he stopped midway through. He couldn't continue. He didn't want to hurt Iris, but he didn't see any other choice. After a few moments of silence, he took a deep breath and spoke. "I'm not unhappy with you," Aemond spoke slowly, knowing that his wife would sense any lies within his words. Aemond wanted to be honest with Iris, his expression turning somber as he tried to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. He couldn't let her believe that it was her fault, though. That would crush her. Iris watched Aemond as he walked away from her and out of the room with a troubled expression and tears in her eyes. For the first time, her husband seemed to be hiding something from her, and that made Iris feel even more worried about the future of their marriage. She took another drink of wine and tried to clear her mind. For now, she needed to wait for Aemond to come back, but when he did, she would demand that he tell her the truth, even if it hurt.

Several hours passed, and Iris was still in their room, sitting by their window and drinking wine. Her mind was filled with questions, worries, and fears, but she refused to let herself cry. She was angry with Aemond for not telling her the truth, and she refused to let him see how vulnerable she truly was. As the day went on and Iris continued to wait for her husband's return, she slowly grew more anxious with each passing minute. She wanted to see Aemond, to have a chance to ask him what was going on and why he was lying to her. You had been going about your business happily during the day even when Aemond pulled you away, having been calming him down from when he spoke to his wife earlier nearly spilling about you two seeing each other behind your back. Kissing his neck softly as you ran your fingers through his long white hair as your free hand rubbed smooth circles on his chest while keeping your tone gentle in his ear "It's fine, she doesn't know and there's no real harm being done is there?".

Aemond sighed as your fingers ran gently over him, slowly relaxing in your embrace as you gently kissed his neck and rubbed your fingers across his chest. He had been trying to avoid you ever since his conversation with Iris at the start of the morning, but something about it all felt right to him. The two people in his life were both beautiful and sweet in different ways, but you had a fire inside you that Aemond found alluring and enticing. He had made a mistake when he denied you, he knew now. Aemond enjoyed your touch, especially as you spoke in his ear. His eyes drifted shut. "No," Aemond said softly, "there's no real harm being done." He sighed quietly. "You're right, she doesn't know." Speaking with you behind Iris's back felt wrong, but he didn't regret it. He still wasn't in love with Iris, and he didn't want to waste her time with false affection. You smiled as you felt Aemond relaxing, your fingers gliding gently across him. The sight of his chest was so attractive to you as you started to kiss along it, your touch becoming a bit firmer as your passion began to ignite once more. A low groan left his mouth and you laughed. “I think I like it when you make that sound.” You were being daring yet you knew you both were safe at the moment as you were in your own shared chamber which was secure. You enjoyed being close to him more than anything and you wouldn’t hesitate to show it again either.

The feel of your fingers along his chest and the sound of your laughter filled Aemond with desire as his mind slowly grew foggy. He could feel your hands moving lower and lower along his flesh, and he couldn't help but let out a moan at the sensation. He was a married man and he knew what he was doing was wrong, but his urges were overwhelming. "Darling," Aemond said, his voice filled with need. "I need you." You smiled and looked at him deeply in the eyes as your hands moved lower, slowly and gently yet firmly. Your eyes were filled with passion, as you took in the sight of him. He was yours now. Just like that. “I can feel the want within you, my Lord. Are you sure you want this?” You whispered seductively into his ear, your voice low and tempting as your lips came closer to his neck. It was time now. Aemond felt the heat rising in his body as your hands drifted lower and lower. As your soft, feminine fingers gently explored his flesh, his body grew tense as he resisted the urge to let his desires take control. Aemond felt as though he was being pulled in two different directions, but he felt the urge to surrender growing every second. He could feel your breath against his neck as you whispered your words into his ear, his senses being overwhelmed by your sensual embrace. His body gave in as his thoughts were taken over by lust.

He wanted this more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. He was no longer sure of what he wanted with Iris, but he was completely certain about what he wanted now. He needed to have you, and he wasn't going to stop until he had you. "I want you," Aemond said. "I need you." You were filled with passion, as your hands started to reach their final destination, pressing against him feeling his cock hardening by your feather-light touch alone. His voice and words filled you with anticipation and desire, as you looked at him and whispered seductively. “Then let me take you, Lord Aemond. Only I can fulfill your needs now….” your words and voice were sweet and seductive, yet it also held this teasing quality as you spoke, and as your fingers moved. Aemond sighed as his head was hazy and his body felt like it was burning with desire. He wanted nothing more than for your lips and touch to take him to the stars. He could hear nothing but your breathing and his own heart in his ears as he looked up at you, his eyes filled wit need. "Y/N…" Aemond breathed before reaching up, pulling you lower and lower towards him. He desperately wanted to take you right then and there.

You were fully filled with desire, and you could feel the excitement rising up within you. You had never felt anything like this, and you knew that Aemond was the only one you wanted. With a devilish smile on your face, you slowly moved to take a seat on his lap slowly moving against his hips with your own. “My Lord, tell me what you want from me…” you whispered seductively, as your eyes looked at Aemond with a seductive and lustful gaze. Aemond could feel his heart pounding in his chest as you moved closer to him. His voice was filled with lust as he looked down at you and let out a ragged breath. He loved to see your face when you were like this, when your eyes were filled with desire and your lips were begging for his. He was completely in your control and he craved nothing more than to make you feel the same way. "I want you… All of you." He breathed. "Your mouth, your touch, your heat…"

Looking at your lover with seductive eyes, as a devilish smile took shape on your lips. You slowly leaned forward, and your lips met in a passionate and lustful kiss. You had never desired anyone like this in your life, and it thrilled you. You wanted Aemond completely and utterly, for him to have you completely and utterly. You began to move against him slowly and gently as your hands started tugging off each other's clothes, your lips never leaving his as your body came to a halt onto his. Aemond’s words made your heart fill with excitement and desire. You moved your lips even closer to his as you slowly pulled away, your breath felt hot against his skin and his words filled you with desire. Aemond’s voice had this lustful and seductive tone to it and your body was getting hot. You knew what he wanted and you could hear the desperation in his voice. “Shall I…?” you raised an eyebrow as you moved your body slightly, pressing up against him once more. Aemond sighed into the kiss, his senses completely reeling as your touch sent shivers down his spine and caused him to shiver with desire. The sound of your breathing and the feel of your soft lips pressed against his were intoxicating to him. He felt as if you were the only two people in the world, and the way your body moved against him only further filled him with lust and desire for you. "Yes," he breathed as your lips parted for a moment. "Give me all of you."

You pulled away, smiling at Aemond's words as you put a hand on his cheek, gently caressing him. You looked at him and whispered seductively as your other hand reached down grabbing his hard leaking cock. “And I shall, Aemond…” Your voice was sweet and inviting, while your actions and words were filled with lust and desire. You were going to turn his world upside down if this is what it meant to make your dreams come true. You wanted all of him. You sighed and kissed his neck, as you slowly started to move your body against his sinking down as his cock bottomed out. Your movements were slow and sensual, as you kissed his neck repeatedly, feeling his breath on your neck as his hands moved to your back. There was something about him being close like this, the sensation being so intense, and yet it felt so normal at the same time as you both had been like this so many times before. After a while, your movements started to pick up slowly, your voice whispering seductively to him. “Take me.”

Aemond felt his body go numb as your voice and touch sent him into a world of pleasure. His eyes filled with lust and his lips parted from yours as he panted. You were already taking him, he knew that, but the words sent chills down his spine and made his muscles twitch and convulse. His heart was beating out of his chest by now, and he was completely incapable of uttering another word as you took his cock like he craved to be taken. His hands moved to your hips and firmly grasped onto them, holding you close to him as he helped you move faster. Aemond sighed deeply as his head fell back as he let you take control. For a moment he forgot about everything around him as his mind and body were completely consumed by the pleasure you were offering him. This was what he had always wanted, and now that he was getting it, he couldn't believe that he had denied himself for so long when you were right here waiting for him. Aemond took your hands and pulled you closer to him as he rolled over in the bed, his grip tight as he trusted his hips harder moving deeper inside of you.

You smiled as Aemond’s grip tightened on your hips, and you slowly moved with him, looking at him with those devilish eyes as he took control for once. You were always in control of him, but it felt good to be powerless for once as if you were the one waiting for him to take the initiative. “Aemond, my love.” You breathed into his ear in a heavy and lustful voice. “Mine.” You said in a low voice, still moaning as you began to move against him faster feeling him hit all the right places. Your lips met his once again, as you kissed, feeling his tongue invade your mouth, and your own moving seductively against his. There was no need for words, this had become your own language long ago. Aemond's grip increased and he moved one of his hands to your head, pulling you closer to him as he kissed you back. There was a hunger in his actions, a desperate need to have you in every way he could have you. He slowly pushed his tongue into your mouth, his lips moving against yours as his other hand caressed your leg enjoying the feeling of your soft skin under his calloused hand. The taste of you was like heaven to Aemond that no Sept could ever give him, and the feel of you against him sent shockwaves running through his body. He wanted this to never end.

Moaning against Aemond, your body started to move against him faster, your hands exploring his torso and arms as you kissed him passionately, the desire filling you and taking away any other thought of yours than just him. You felt him kissing your lips, and your neck, slowly traveling further down to your nipples as he nipped and sucked giving you the attention you deserved, making your body shiver in sweet anticipation. You couldn’t think when your tongues kissed each other, and you could feel every single touch of his as you moved against him. There was just him, and nothing more, and this was all you wanted. Aemond moved his free hand down to just over your hips squeezing roughly as he continued to kiss you, feeling the intensity grow with each passing moment. He could feel your hands running along his chest and arms, and his mind started to fog as he began to lose control. He would have you here and now, and he wasn't going to let anything stop him. "I need you," he said in between kisses. "I want you, and I love you."

Aemond's arms shook as he held your body close to his own with a groan. Every sensation he felt at this moment was overwhelming and he felt almost dizzy as he felt your body move against him taking him deeper as you met his thrust. He was so consumed by you that he couldn't think clearly anymore, every thought of his was gone and replaced by a deep thirst for you as he nipped at your skin marking you as his own. This moment felt more important than anything else in the world and he couldn't believe that he had ever thought he would be happier with Iris. You couldn’t talk as you were caught in the wave of pleasure Aemond made you feel, your mind hazy in lust. You bit your lower lip, trying to compose yourself for a few moments but it proved impossible this time. You started moving against him once again with a loud moan, making your breath go heavy and fast. You were so close to cumming, and you wanted him to be as well. “Aemond….” You whispered seductively into his ear. Aemond moaned as he could feel himself getting closer, his breath growing shallow as he gasped for air in between each exhale. His back arched upwards and his hands tightened their hold on your legs before placing them on his shoulders. He felt as if nothing in the world mattered except for this moment. Aemond moaned loudly and his entire body tightened as he reached the height of his pleasure. He couldn't think or speak, his body overcome by feeling. He could feel himself getting closer for minutes now, but the satisfaction was finally there as he came inside of you only to keep thrusting as he pushed his cum deeper into you.

You felt Aemond’s body tightening under your fingertips and his breathing getting fast as he panted in your ear. His sounds were enough to put you on the edge as well, your breathing getting heavy and your heartbeat going more quickly in your chest. Aemond’s grip tightened on your legs and you could feel yourself getting closer, as your body shuddered in pleasure. The moment became more euphoric than anything else you had ever experienced, and your mind was taken away. “Aemond….” You muttered, your voice was faint and soft. You couldn’t hold for much longer. You sighed softly and rolled against him, completely catching your breath after the intense moment. Your own body was tingling with pleasure and your mind had been taken away with the rush of emotions. You were so glad to be able to share this experience with Aemond, and you hoped you were able to satisfy him as much as he was able to do that with you. You started to kiss him once more, your lips kissing all over his face. “You were fantastic.” You whispered with a tired but satisfied voice, as you pressed your body tightly against his.

Your body started to relax slowly as the euphoria slowly started to fade away. Aemond’s touch felt so sweet even after the release, as your body slowly turned back to normal. You breathed heavily and slowly opened your eyes, looking at Aemond with those half-lidded eyes. “Aemond…." You whispered gently, still wanting to feel his touch on your body. But you felt the warmth inside as the euphoria slowly faded, even though you couldn’t deny that what you just did felt like heaven. Aemond slowly sat himself up as his breathing turned back to normal, his body slowly starting to relax in the aftermath of what had just been done. As he looked at you, he couldn't help but feel the desire rising up in him again as he took in your half-lidded eyes. It felt like heaven to see you like this, your hair all messy and your body covered in sweat. He couldn't deny how good it felt, and the way you sighed his name was enough to set him off again. You looked at him with those seductive eyes of yours, your lips curling up in a teasing smile. With a playful tone as you spoke, "You’re just going to leave me like this? How cruel of you" You had moved down towards Aemond, and you started to kiss his chest again, your lips still swollen and your body still feeling the aftershocks as you looked at Aemond with that devilish look of yours once again.

Aemond growled as you moved down to his chest once again, your touch sending shivers down his spine. He felt your lips against him once more and his breath caught in the back of his throat. Your voice sent a shiver down his back, your playful tone and seductive look filling him with lust. "Why are you doing this to me?" Aemond gasped as he moved closer toward you. "You know what you're doing to me." "Want to know what I do know?" You smiled teasingly up at him as you started to kiss his chest again, your lips slowly gliding across his body. Your voice was sweet yet teasing, your entire attitude right now was devilish and playful, and you loved playing with Aemond and teasing him. You were going to make him beg for more and it was exciting and satisfying for you to see a prince do such things just to make you happy even as you spoke again. "That Iris will never compare to me….Will she?". Aemond groaned as you kissed his body once again, your words filling his body with pleasure. There was no way that Iris could compare to you, not after this or any time he snuck off to see you. Aemond couldn't believe that he had thought for so long that his wife was the best he could get. There was no hope for his marriage now that he knew he could have this. Aemond's voice was heavy and desperate as he spoke. "You have ruined me."

"Oh, have I now?" You smirked as you continued to kiss lower down his body, your voice playful and filled with desire. Your touch was light, but it felt like fire to Aemond’s skin. He was getting closer to release the more you touched him, and you knew it. You whispered seductively "How does it feel, Prince Aemond? Knowing that no other woman but me can make you feel this way? Knowing that I have so much power over you?". Aemond groaned as your words sent chills down his spine. There was no hope for him now, he couldn't go back to Iris. How could he look at her knowing what real desire felt like? Aemond couldn't even remember the last time he had felt anything like this with his wife, and your question only made it all the more real. "Better than anything…" Aemond whispered as your lips continued to glide over his body teasing him. The feeling was beyond words and he was desperate to feel more.

At that moment, You had the upper hand and savored it then made Aemond beg for more. You slowly looked up at him, smiling sweetly as you saw the effect you had on him, slowly moving your mouth towards his neck and kissing him there. If you continued like that for a bit longer, he wouldn’t be able to hold for too long. "I have all the power over you, my love, so tell me…" You whispered softly. "What are you willing to do for me?". Aemond moaned as your lips found his neck, his eyes quickly shutting tight in pleasure. He felt like he was on fire, and he couldn't think straight anymore. Everything he had known about his marriage was thrown out the window as you continued to kiss him and decorate his pale skin with marks, your voice sending his blood racing through his veins. Your hold over him was complete and you could feel it almost physically. Aemond breathed deeply and slowly opened his eyes again, his voice low and husky as it responded to your words.

"Anything."

[bangchansgirlsblog]

My Biggest Regret

Part five:

**

His arms wrapped around her as fast as they could. Pulling her against his body. He couldn't believe it. She was there.

The nights he would cry himself to sleep because of the lonely feeling that no one seemed to fill except her played in his mind. The days where he would pick up his phone to try to call her but knew he couldn't, played in his mind.

She was right in front of him.

"I missed you so much Aya," He whispered to Y/n. Her scent filled his nostrils and all of a sudden he was the 14 year old boy running around the playground with his girl bestfriend. So innocent, so happy and so in love.

"I missed you too Channie," she whispered back to him. She was trying to keep her tears in but she totally failed. The tears slowly wetting his hoodie. Just like at the airport but he didn't care, he never did.

"Hey, don't cry, you're too beautiful to cry," his touch was so soft. He wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed her forehead.

"Yuck gross!" Hannah exclaimed when she had realized the two were now just staring and smiling at one another.

"Hannah, Stop it! I've been waiting for years to see this happen!" Chan's mum smacked Hannah on the  back of the head before admiring the two lovers who were both in their own world.

Unlike Hannah who was rambling in anger while her mum and dad just admired the couple in-front  of them.

The rest of the boys sat in confusion. Trying to understand what was going on because they were very sure that their leader was in a relationship back home. They were sure that their leader was getting all the girls and screwing them every chance he could get so why was his mum calling them love birds? Did they miss a chapter? Did any of them know what was going on back home?

Han looked over at Changbin trying to communicate with his eyes, trying to get answers but Changbin, being his slow self, couldn't understand what was going on.

"Shall we show you guys to your room as these guys catch up?" Chan's dad interrupted the little chattering that was going on.

"Yes please," I.N replied and they all got up and carried their bags following right behind.

"Okay Chan, I'm going to say it. I.N is smoking hot!" Hannah exclaimed and collapsed on the couch. He looked over at his little sister and chuckled. He wasn't surprised at her reaction because when he was away she would always make such comments to piss him off.

"I don't think you want to mess with him, his quite the player," Chan responded.

How ironic Chan because aren't you the same person screwing other girls while you claim to love with your bestfriend?

Hannah whined and looked up to her older brother. "Ugh you’re no fun,"

"You missed me though," he teased back.

"Sure," Hannah stuck out her tongue and laid back down on the couch.

"I'll go take a shower and we can catch up yeah?" Chan hadn't let go of Y/n's hand. He was still holding on and he didn't let go. He refused to let go but if he did want to shower he eventually would have too.

"Okay that's fine, I need to set up the snack table anyway," she smiled at the older boy. The light in her eyes was brighter than ever and her skin was glowing. Chan couldn't take his eyes off her. Not at all but again he knew he had too. He finally let go and grabbed his suitcases to head to his room.

The living room was now boy free. Chan's dad came back to start on the grill and Chan's mum was by his side helping. They wanted to get everything ready because they knew the boys were hungry. Who wouldn’t be?

Meanwhile Hannah was complaining about how living with 9 boys (including her dad) was going to be the most excruciating pain ever.

Y/n on the other hand was in lala land. Chan was more handsome and the most beautiful. His muscles were bigger and he was way more taller and his jawline was sharper than ever. He was just perfect.

"Y/n dear, will you help me bring out the drinks?"

"Yes, sure auntie," she replied politely then made her way into the kitchen and she grabbed the beers and soft drinks out of the fridge. She then put them in the coolers and started making the punch and put it in jugs.

"Do you need help?" A low voice makes her jump. She quickly turned to look at the door where she saw non other than Hyunjin.

His hair was wet indicating that he had came out the shower and he was dressed in sweats and a shirt. He had a soft smile on his face.

"Um, no not really. You should go sit down. You've been traveling for hours," she smiled and continued to pour the punch into the jug.

"Yeah but I'd rather help. You all have already prepared such a nice meal. You might have been in the kitchen all day,"

"Not really no, would you like something to drink maybe?" She asked the boy who was now leaning on the counter watching her in awe.  He was admiring her. Who wouldn't? She was so beautiful.

"Hm, what about some of that punch. Did you make it yourself?"

"Yeah I did, my mum taught me how too," she grabbed a cup and poured some punch and passes it to the older man. He took a sip and quite literally moans.

"That's really good," he said while his eyes were wide in shock.

"Thank you," she giggled and walked over to the cooler to carry it.

"No let me," Hyunjin said realizing how heavy it was. He didn't mean to get close to her the way he did but in a way he did mean too. He wanted to feel her and he was slick with it.

"No it's fine-" but before she could protest his body was against her back and his hands reach over her carrying the cooler over her head and out of the kitchen.

She stood there in shock. His body was against hers and she couldn't help but turn red. If anyone had seen that it would have been a problem.

"Hey Y/n? Mums wondering if you could bring out her wine for her," Hannah's head popped around the door.

"Okay, coming," she grabbed the bottles and made her way to the living room where she finds a few boys sat on the couch watching football while Chan's dad was setting the stuff on the table.

She handed the bottle to Chan's mum and sat next to Hannah who was now sitting next to I.N.

The two were talking about something, totally in their own world while mama Chan was getting to know the boys better.

Slowly by slowly the whole living room was filled as more of the boys came out of their rooms. Chan came out last but was eager to talk to Y/n.

He wanted to know where they stood. He wanted to know how she was. He wanted to know if she was better. He most importantly wanted to apologize but he wouldn't get the chance to because his sister grabbed him once he walked downstairs.

He was confused. Why did his sister need to talk to him? Did he do something wrong?

Y/n knew what their talk was going to be about so she wasn't surprised. She was just worried about Hannah. She Was praying that she would get her closure and that she would stop being mad at him.

The two disappear out back brining Y/n’s attention back to the living room and the people around her.

"So Y/n, You and Chan..." Seungmin spoke up over the noise. "Are you guys a thing or something?"

"Uhh," she didn't know how to answer this, "we used to be? I geuss," she takes a sip of her drink.

"Uhhh, so how long have you guys been bestfriends?" Felix joined the conversation now interested as well.

"We were born two weeks apart. So ever since I was born," she let out a small laugh and smiled over at the boys who were so intrigued by her, "How's straykids?" She asked them.

"A lot of work, just really busy. But really fun. A lot of parties a lot of events-"

"A lot of girls," Han interrupted earning him a huge smack on the head.

"Ow! What?! It's true!" Y/n looked at them suspiciously but decided to shrug it off.

"Maybe one day we can take you to an event with us!" I.N smiled cheerfully.

"Uhh no! I don't do parties." She shook her head and put her drink down. Eager to know how Hannah and Chan were doing.

"Um...I'm going to check on those two, I'll be back," she informed everyone in the room and headed to the back yard. She spied on them. Trying not to be seen but when she looked at both of them, her stomach started to turn.

The both of them were in a heated argument. It was clear. It looked like Hannah was the one yelling the loudest. Y/n knew she had to step in or it could go left.

It took guts but she walked out to the garden. Their conversation becoming clear to hear.

"You weren't there Chan!"

"What do you expect from me Hannah?! I'm busy! I have a life and I can't keep coming back to Australia just to see you do little things that you're probably going to forget!"

"Oh wow! Chan, you know in my lowest times I thought you would be there. You weren't. Y/n was and she is the best older sister I have ever had and you will never ever be half the women she is, I don’t even know why your back after all these years! We were fine without you!"

**

[silvervioletvalentine]

🐍Always rooting for the antihero🐍

Pairing : Fernando Alonso x Cherrie

Word count: 7k

Summary: in which he’s still the bad guy and poor Lance has no clue that his girlfriend is Alonso’s ultimate prize.

Warnings: smut. Angst. Sorry to the Lance lovers but his hearts getting wrecked. My bad. Alonso Is a cunt and so is Cherrie. Also my bad. Enjoy xoxo

When Fernando walked into the meeting room, the first person he saw , already sat at the end of the ridiculously large table, was his new teammate , the only one to arrive early first. Fiddling on his phone quietly as he sipped on a cup of coffee , only looking up from his screen when he heard the sound of the door opening, greeting him with a polite smile and a little wave, happy to see his teammate who he was quickly growing fond of.

"You're here early." Alonso commented with a raise of his brow, a small smirk already tugging at his lips as he slowly walked around the table to sit at the opposite end of Lance.

"If I had a woman like yours waiting for me back home ...I don't think I would ever arrive early to anything." He slyly remarked , keeping his tone joking. Despite the pinch in his stomach he felt, a certain smugness and cruel humour that could only come along with despicable actions.

One that absolutely no one could know about, certainly not his new, innocent and oh so naive teammate who had no idea what he was truly dealing with.

Everybody around them, including the fans and their team, were so surprised and delightfully welcomed the sudden , and unusual kindness that Alonso was giving to his new teammate . Always smiling, always friendly and so willing to help poor Lance out. Always clapping him on the back and ready to give him advice . Looking out for him on the track and off it too.

You could say that the two teammates had formed quite a close friendship between them, one built on respect and kindness. A certain understanding between them to have each other's backs.

Fernando was finally the good guy. And he was loving it. He embraced the wave of love and proud pats to his back. The smiles that their team gave them after each time he bigged his new teammate up to the press. He was eating it all up, the humourful grin never leaving his face, a certain twinkle in his eye that nobody could truly read. Everybody putting down his smugness and his overconfidence to winning, to finally being happy with his car and teammate. Believing that he had finally grown up and put all of his mischievous and revengeful ways behind him.

Because he was a good guy now. A good teammate.

He could only smirk to himself , barely hiding his shit eating grin behind his hand as he sat down in his seat. Looking across the table to see Lance smiling a little shyly, completely oblivious to the subtle hints that Fernando had been giving him all along.

With all of his sly remarks and lighthearted jokes.. the truth lied right there. For him to see.

But poor Lance was so oblivious and Alonso could only laugh.

"She's still your girlfriend right? You haven't lost her yet?" He joked yet again to him, still smiling as he pulled out his own phone. Just the two of them in the empty meeting room, knowing fully well that others wouldn't start arriving yet.

But Fernando knew that Lance would be Early. He was a good guy like that. Always stuck to the rules, always wanted people to see the best in him. Wanted to prove his worth and his loyalty to those around him. He knew that.

And well, he couldn't help but want to mess with him a little. Even if he didn't know it yet.

Because Fernando was not a good guy. Never had been , and had never claimed to be. And if everybody else wanted to see him in a new light, wanted to call him so many good things and praise him for being such a good teammate and friend to Lance.. well, who was he to stop them?

They didn't have a clue. and neither did poor, innocent Lance either .

He almost felt sorry for him. Pitied him a little really because he didn't stand a chance. Not against him, he wouldn't allow him to. That just wasn't how he lived his life.

He was never second best to anybody, he was the man. The main character and he planned to stay that way for a very long time, no matter who he had to crush to get his own way.

He was the antihero after all.

He smirked to himself as he looked down at the new text on his phone, biting down on his lip as he read her reply . A late one.  But hey, she still replied. He knew she would. She just couldn't resist him after all, and the feeling was absolutely mutual.

I missed you in my bed last night. Your hand is softer that mine. He had text her early this morning, as soon as he had woken up. Wishing she was there with him, despite knowing where she was and who she was currently with.

It didn't stop him. When had it ever? When he wanted something, he got it. End of.

You can't tell me things like that. Stop it. She finally texted him back. I told you it's over.

He let out a soft laugh as he quickly replied , it's never over with us though , is it? Before putting down his phone again and focusing his attention on his teammate opposite him.

Lance was looking at him with a confused smile on his face, laughing at little "yes. I'm still with her. Why wouldn't I be?" He answered his remark lightheartedly. So unaware of the game that he was playing.

"Do you know something that I don't?" He joked obliviously.

Alonso laughed. Loudly. He had to. Because the poor kid had absolutely no idea. It was pathetic really.

How could he be so oblivious? Was he really that dense? Or did the love just make him blind to what was truly going on right in front of him?

He smirked at him subtly , shaking his head almost fondly. "I know everything that you don't." He told him, that wasn't a lie.

He rose a brow at Lance slyly, keeping his tone light and joking as usual as he added "I was just wondering. Cherrie seems like the type of woman that's hard to keep."

Was he evil? He felt evil. He laughed again, taking a sip from the to go cup of coffee he had brought himself . Wondering what she was doing right now.

He knew how much she hated coffee. She always complained when he kissed her in the mornings, threatened him that she wouldn't let him anywhere near her mouth again until he brushed his teeth from the horrendous taste. He looked over at his teammate and saw Lance also sipping on his coffee, he wondered if she refused to kiss him after he drank coffee too.

He hid his smirk behind his cup, swiping his tongue across his teeth to stop himself from scoffing when he saw Lance shyly smile to himself, his cheeks going pink as he squirmed in his seat. Nervous underneath his stare.

"We're good, yeah." Lance nodded happily "she's coming to the race today actually. You'll probably  see her around." He told him.

Alonso smiled, pleased. "Will I? How nice. I've missed seeing her pretty face around here." He said lightly , picking up his phone again to pull up their text thread quickly. His heart beating excitedly in his chest, knowing just what would happen next.

See you soon? He sent to her smugly already knowing the answer.

Fuck you. She sent back immediately .

He grinned to himself happily. Fuck him she would.

-

Not even a few hours later and Fernando  let out a low groan as he pushed her heaving body against his drives room door, hiking up her hips around his waist as he held her up easily.

His lips attacking hers passionately as she moaned into his mouth, sucking on his tongue as she buried her finger into his hair, tugging at the soft strands until he was bucking his hips up against her own , finger digging into her thighs tight enough to leave bruises.

"It's over huh?" He breathed out breathlessly against her jaw as he pulled away from her lips to kiss down her neck , his tongue running over her delicate skin as he pressed her harder against the door, feeling her whole body shudder against him.

Cherrie just moaned in frustration when he put her back down on the ground, wasting no time in pushing his already loosely tied racing suit from his hips, down to the floor instead. Feeling his hands slide up her thighs and hiking her already small dress further up her hips, his eyebrow raising smugly when he felt no lace in his way.

"No panties?" He muttered, inhaling sharply as his eyes flutter in bliss, feeling her warm hand wrap around him, guiding him to where she needed him the moment .

Alonso leaning her back against the back of the couch as she jumped up ontop of it, wrapping her legs around his hips to pull him between her thighs , his face burying into her chest as he pushed into her with a low moan escaping his mouth, breathless as she clutched onto him with a pleasuree cry.

"So naughty. All for me?" He teased her as he pulled her head back by fisting her hair in his hand, his dark eyes hooded as he looked into her glaring eyes , pounding into her , hard.

Her body jostling against the couch as she panted, barely able to catch her breath enough to breath out a shaky "fuck you!" Not wanting to admit that everything she did lately , had been for him.

And not for her sweet, loving boyfriend who had absolutely no clue that his girlfriend was fucking his new teammate behind his back like this.

She was a cunt and she knew it. And she loved Lance, she did but Fernando... she inhaled sharply as she felt his hand slide around her neck to clutch at her throat , squeezing and applying enough pressure to have her seeing stars as she cried out in pleasure, feeling him in her stomach from how deep he was fucking her.

He was something else entirely.

"You are." He smugly muttered, looking down at her with a smirk as he thrust into her tight cunt, his breath hitching as he felt her squeeze around him, sucking him all the way in, so wet and warm for him.

Not Lance. Him.

"Does he fuck you like this? Can he make you feel this good?" He taunted her as he quickened his pace, hand still around her throat as he fucked her like a whore.

Her shrill moans and breathless cries filling the room, the thrill of knowing that her boyfriend could walk in anytime, only spurring him further , the pit in his stomach growing with lust and passion for the woman clutching at his shoulders, scratching up his back with her sharp nails .

His teammate was still around somewhere, speaking with their team about his strategy for the race. Blissfully unaware that his amazing teammate was fucking his girlfriend in his drivers room , just like he always did.

"Tell me!" He gritted out, still jealous despite the fact that he was the one with his cock in her tight cunt right then. Knowing that despite this, Lance was still the one who got to go home with her at the end of the night .

Alonso only ever got to have her in secret. It infuriated  him.

The anger only making him fuck her harder as she gasped and whined, their eyes meeting as she panted , barely able to keep her eyes open at all.

"No! He doesn't! He doesn't!" She almost shouted through a high pitched moan , clutching at the back of his neck as he kissed her desperately , their teeth clashing from the force of his kiss. "I want you...fuck!"

"That's it. Come on baby!" He gritted out As he pulled her flush against him, both of them reaching their peek "give it to me!" He groaned out lowly as they came .

His lips still pressed to the side of her mouth as he panted against her lips, his eyes fluttering closed as he held onto her tightly .

Feeling her inhale deeply as she tried to catch her breath back, body trembling as he slowly slid out of her, reaching for a tissue from the side table to clean her up. Keeping her close to the whole time as she slowly came back down to Earth.

He pulled his racing suit back over his hips as she pulled her dress back down her thighs, cheeks flushed and hair askew , barely able to meet his smug gaze as she pushed him away, sliding down from the back of the couch.

Clearing  her throat as she felt a different type of tension fill the room. Fernando simply staring her down without any shame , tiling his head at her.

"Come home with me tonight?" He knew what she was going to say, but he still asked her.

He always did.

She scowled at him, scoffing as she patted down her hair with shaky hands. Swallowing thickly as she made her way back to the door on trembling legs , the familiar slam of guilt hitting her as she avoided looking at him, heart pinching in her chest.

She had done it. Again.

She thought of her poor boyfriend and winced, feeling a little sick. Like she always did each time she did this to him.

Yet she never stopped. Alonso was right after all.

It was never truly over between them.

"You know I can't." She muttered to him, shaking her head scornfully . Wishing he would just stop giving himself hope all the time that she would chose him beyond sex.

Fernando just rose a brow at her, scoffing. "You can but you're too scared of what people will think huh?" He knew her all too well.

Smirking at her a little , laughing when she refused to answer him .

"When people find out that you're fucking your boyfriends new teammate . One Old enough to be your daddy.." he teased her lowly as he slowly walked over to her, gently sliding her hair over her shoulder as he leaned down to gently kiss the back of her neck. Breathing her in before she left him again.

She gritted her teeth guiltily , angry with him for making her feel this way. For making her Feel this good.

"No one is going to find out." It came out as a threat as she shrugged him off her. Glaring at him "this isn't happening again." She lied as she pulled open the door quickly before she could fall into his arms again.

It would be too easy.

Fernando just smiled at her, even passing her the leather bag she brought with her sweetly . Kissing her cheek goodbye.

"Sure. I'll see you tomorrow then? Same time? Same place?"

All he got was a middle finger and the slamming of the door in his face before he burst into laughter , shaking his head to himself smugly as he threw himself down onto the couch he had just been fucking her up against.

Poor Lance. He thought to himself with smirk. He'd find out eventually.

He always won in the end.

Cherrie had thought that they were doing a good job of keeping their affair hidden from those around them.

She always made sure that he left no marks , always escaped straight after the deed was done. She had made sure for so long that there was no evidence and no trails to what they were doing, it had been their little secret.

And maybe the dirty secret between them could have been kept forever if Alonso hadn't suddenly decided that no longer did he care to be discreet , and no longer did he want to share her with her oblivious boyfriend , who was none the wiser to what they were up to when his back was turned.

Because no longer did he act like it was a secret. No longer did he double check that the doors were locked behind them. No longer did he look around to make sure that nobody could see them when he kissed her in a darkened hallway.

He didn't care about anybody finding out anymore, why would he? He wanted people to know. Wanted Lance to find out the truth so that he wouldn't have to hide his affections and his love for Cherrie in public anymore.

So despite her warning snarls and gritted teeth, mutttered threats for him to behave tonight , he ignored it all.

Because honestly , he didn't give a single fuck about anybody else. All he wanted was to have her for himself. He didn't care who knew .

So that night when a few of the drivers were having lunch together at a fancy restaurant, he smoothly slid into the seat beside Cherrie at The table before her boyfriend could slide in next to her.

Simply grinning up at his startled teammate who had been about to sit down beside her , Lance looking down at him in confusion , while Cherrie just glared at him silently , her heart rate increasing dramatically once she noticed the mischievous and uncaring look on Fernando's face.

"What?" He spoke up as innocently as possible , smirking to himself as he ignored the 'I will kill you if you do this to me tonight.' Look that he was getting from the woman beside him.

"You're always beside her. It's time that you let somebody else have a turn at entertaining her man." He kept his tone joking , despite meaning every word.

Lance , poor , oblivious lance, just shrugged with a easy going smile on his face . Taking the seat opposite them at the table instead , right beside mick.

"I hope you're ready to hear all the details from her shopping trip with the girls then. She hasn't shut up about it since she got home." Lance joked back, giving his girlfriend a smile , Cherrie only managing to give him a small one back. The guilt slowly eating her alive .

Fernando just hummed , turning his head to peer at her with a small smile on his face .

"Buy anything pretty for me?" He lowered his voice as he teased her, so only she could hear him as the conversations picked up around the table. Leaving him to his mischief.

Cherrie inhaled Sharply as she felt his warm hand land on her bare thigh underneath the table , narrowing her eyes at him warningly .

Eyes quickly glittering around the table to make sure that nobody was paying attention to them. Mick, Pierre and Lance already chatting about the last race while Lando and Charles, who was seated on the other side of her, talked about gaming together sometime again.

"Well, depends. I don't think you have the legs for a Chanel mini dress." She hissed at him underneath her breath , face slowly colouring as she tensed up in her seat, feeling his hand slowly crawl higher and higher up her thigh. Squeezing her leg gently as goosebumps littered her skin.

Fernando just grinned at her smugly "I look good in anything." He remarked arrogantly before muttering "how did you like the lace set I bought you? I had it sent to your room last night." His mind already running wild with imagining her beautiful body in the lace lingerie .

She just looked at him for a moment , chewing on the inside of her cheek as she tried not to inhale the warm scent of his cologne, eyes lingering on his cheeky smile and crinkled eyes. Heart beating like a drum in her chest.

Why did he have to be so handsome? She thought to herself in misery. Why did he have to have such a boyish twinkle in his eyes? He was just her type and he knew it.

He was going to kill her at this rate. Squirming a little in her seat as she felt her stomach tingle as his fingers rubbed soft circles onto the inside of her thigh.

Spelling out his name on her skin with his fingertips.

"You shouldn't have. What if Lance had opened it and seen the little note you left with it? It's like you want him to find out." She muttered at him, on edge and guiltily lustful as she tried not to linger on how good he looked in his unbuttoned white dress shirt and dark blue jeans.

Alonso just chuckled , not replying for a moment as their food was served. Seeing the red wine in her glass and the champagne in his own, he swapped the glasses and gave her his own. Knowing that she didn't like red wine at all.

He glanced momentarily over at Lance, silently shaking his head at how her boyfriend didn't seem to know her that well at all. Why had he ordered her red wine when she hated it?

Then he glanced at her pasta salad and rolled his eyes as well , swapping his plate of steak and rice to her without a single word being spoken .

"I don't give a shit." He simply mumbled as he took a sip of the red wine, nodding at a speechless Cherrie, who was smiling to herself at the way he had silently swapped their foods and drinks without even saying a thing.

"You look very fuckable tonight." He whispered to her slyly after taking a bite of the pasta salad, scrunching his nose up a little at the bland taste.

Cherrie flushed, shaking her head at him scornfully. "Very romantic. You really have a way with words." She muttered , unimpressed. Taking a large swig off the champagne . Having a feeling she was going to need more than one glass.

Fernando smiled at her genuinely , nudging her shoulder with his. Unable to take his eyes off her "you look beautiful my love."

She smiled.

Neither of them noticing the way Charles was looking at them from where he was set beside her, his eyes widening as he leaned back in his seat and caught sight of fernandos hand on her thigh.

Closely Watching the way the older man was whispering to cherrie, who was giggling quietly at whatever he was telling her. Both of them looking like they were in their own loved up bubble.

He couldn't believe it .

He looked across the table at Lance, amazed at the sight of the driver laughing loudly at something Pierre had said. Oblivious to what was going on right in front of him.

But Charles wasn't . And he could only feel his pity and anger grow as he watched them beside him , flirting and exchanging familiar touches all throughout the night.

Blinking in disbelief when he watched Fernando lean his head down halfway through dinner to kiss cherries bare shoulder gently , Cherrie just smiling at him with stars In her eyes.

After so much booze , he couldn't hold it in any longer. Once he noticed Fernando being distracted by Pierre asking him a question about racing, he leaned in closer to Cherrie with a deep frown on his face.

"What the hell are you doing?" He snapped at her quietly in disgust . Eyes glaring into her own .

Startled, she swallowed nervously and looked back at him with wide eyes. "Eating?" She answered the obvious .

Heart pounding nervously in her chest once she noticed the way Charles kept looking between her and Fernando , who still hadn't taken his hand off her thigh the entire dinner.

Charles scoffed lowly at her, shaking his head scornfully . "Your boyfriend might be oblivious but I'm not." He let her know angrily "how could you do this to Lance? I can't Believe you..!"

Cherrie was quick to hush him, shooting him a glare that had him leaning back in his seat quickly . She had always been a very intimidating woman when she wanted to be.

"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about." She spat back at him underneath her breath .

Charles scoffed even louder than he meant to, making the drivers around them look over at them curiously.

Fernando tilting his head curiously once he noticed the glare that he was receiving from the Ferrari driver, he simply smirked back at him. Amused at his attempt at intimidation.

It wasn't going to effect him because he simply didn't give a shit about what he thought.

The only person he cared about was himself and Cherrie. Nobody else mattered to him. End of.

"I'm going to the bathroom. Excuse me." She quickly made her excuses to the table, hurriedly getting up and stomping off to the toilets , panic and frustration filling her veins.

Just wishing that Alonso could have kept his hands to himself and stopped himself from flirting with her every five seconds at the table. Maybe then Charles wouldn't have been any wiser.

She wondered what it said about her relationship that Charles had noticed their closeness all night but  her own boyfriend hadn't. Who only looked startled at the sight of her rushing off to the bathroom all of a sudden.

"Excuse me." Charles also muttered, sending them all a tense smile . "Need a piss." He blurted out ungracefully before hurrying down the hallway after her.

Wanting to find out what the hell she thought she was doing, wondering how everyone else could have been so oblivious to what had been going on right beneath their noses the entire time.

He caught her arm in his grip before she could disappear into the woman's bathroom , Cherrie slapping his hand away from her arm with a aggravated huff.

"What?!" She snapped at him uncomfortably , shifting on her feet when she saw the glare he was aiming at her.

Charles pursed his lips and shook his head at her in disgust . "Fernando? You're messing around with your boyfriends teammate now? What the hell is wrong with you?!" He almost shouted at her in disbelief .

Having always thought of her as a sweet, innocent woman who would never do such a thing.

How wrong he was. And how wrong they were about Alonso’s new , nice guy act too.

"You don't know what you're talking about." She repeated to him. Unable to look him in the eyes, instead she looked down the hall to where the exit doors were. Wondering if she could make a break for it.

Charles looked at her in astonishment "you're kidding me! He had his hand between your thighs the entire night! Flirting with you and - I heard him say he bought you lingerie? Do you think I'm stupid?!" He snapped at her, upset for Lance.

He was such a nice guy. He didn't deserve this.

Cherrie just shrugged her shoulders, getting pissed off at him for cornering her about something that wasn't any of his business in the first place.

"I think you're a lot of things Charles. But a snitch isn't one of them , right?" She levelled him with a threatening glare. Voice cold and cruel. Truly not giving a shit about what he thought anymore.

Charles was speechless . He could only look at the beautiful woman in front of him in stunned silence , unable to believe how she was behaving. This wasn't like her at all.

"You're a lot of things too but I didn't take you for a cheat Cherrie." He spat back at her , shaking his head "was it just with Fernando or another driver too? I see You clearly have a type!"

He was so lucky that she couldn't slap him without everybody questioning them.

So instead she settled on shoving past him with a snarl "fuck you Charles! Shut your mouth!" The warning was clear.

Charles let out a unamused laugh as he watched her walk away. "Oh fucking you is invitation only now? How lovely!"

She just stuck up her finger at him behind her back, not looking back as she stormed away angrily.

Fernando only looked up at her calmly when she stomped back to the table with a look of thunder on her face , announcing to them quickly that she was going back home.

Lance looked at his girlfriend in confusion , raising a brow at her in concern. "What's the matter? I'll come with you -" he made his way to get up.

Cherrie quickly waved him away, unable to look him in the eyes. Swallowing dryly as she met Fernando gaze, seeing him already quirking a eyebrow up af her, nodding subtly to the front doors of the restaurant.

You want to go? His look asked her.

She inhaled deeply and subtly nodded her head yes, before addressing her boyfriend again.

"No! No. You stay. I just have a headache and want to go to sleep." She laughed fakely as she pulled on her coat "all that champagne probably."

Lance was still frowning at her, despite sitting back down in his seat at her easy command .

"You sure? I don't want you to go alone-"

Fernando slowly stood up as well, smiling at his teammate . ""I'll take her home. Don't you worry about it Lance. Enjoy the rest of your night with the guys." He told him casually as he pushed his seat in, grabbing cherries clutch bag from the table too.

He even winked at her boyfriend too "have some more champagne eh? She's alright with me." He said to him as he gently placed his hand at the bottom of her back, guiding them away from the table and to the front doors instead.

Just as Charles came back from the bathroom , his eyes widening even further as he watched Fernando smugly raise a brow at him, daring him to say something to him.

He stayed silent. Too shocked to speak. Unable to believe how oblivious they had all been.

"Oh okay." Lance agreed easily. Smiling at them both brightly . "I'll see you later then babe." He directed towards his silent girlfriend leaning against Fernando side, yawning to herself as she glanced impatiently at the doors.

She just hummed . Not giving a scowling Charles another glance before Fernando guided them both away. Leaving just as quick as they arrived.

Charles inhaled deeply as he watched them step out onto the street. Watching closely as Alonso stroked the back of her head tenderly , giving her a soft smile and kiss to the side of her head, Cherrie beaming up at him as he led them away to his car before speeding off without any hesitation .

Alonso took a left turn at the end of the road.

To get to Lance's and Cherries apartment you had to turn right , not left . Charles could only swallow uneasily.

His silence only lasted another hour before he finally broke it after another bottle of champagne reached his system .

After Hearing Lance questioning whether he should call his girlfriend or not to see if she was doing okay.

He couldn't hold back his scoff. Lance, Pierre , Lando and mick looking over at him in surprise , shocked to see the look on his face.

"Why bother calling her? You might as well call Alonso seeing as he's with her." He said to him bluntly . Still reeling from what he had seen.

Lance frowned at him, confused. "He'll have dropped her off by now. Probably in bed at his own home." He said naively .

Pierre looked at his best friend warily when he let out a loud laugh , grinning in disbelief at the Canadian driver.

"You really believe that mate?" He slurred out incredulously.

"Yes?" Lance looked at him with a frown. Not understanding what he was going on about.

"Charles.." Pierre warned him, already having a feeling that what he knew wasn't going to be good for Lance to hear.

Lando and mick just looked between them in confusion , silently watching as Charles laughed and laughed and laughed. Even though nothing was funny at all.

"Mate.. Alonso has had his hands on your girlfriend all night. Kissing her shoulder and jaw.. and you're telling me that you have no clue to what's going on?!" He exclaimed in disbelief. Looking at him like he was stupid.

And maybe he was. Lance swallowed , heart dropping down to his stomach as he looked at the ferrari driver silently . Thinking back over the night. Having seen the two of them close but...

"He's just a friendly guy Charles." He weakly excused as his world came crashing down against him.

Lando looked at them in shock, finally catching on to what Charles was insinuating.

"Nando is fucking Cherrie?!" He gasped. Mouth wide open.

Poor mick was gaping at them too while Pierre already had his head in his hands, wondering why his friend couldn't stay out of other peoples business for a change.

Poor Lance. They all thought with a pitiful wince. Said driver paling horribly as the ugly realisation of truth finally set in.

"They wouldn't - I mean- he's older than her-" he stammered out in denial.

Pierre had to wince at that "I mean..she did date that forty year old football player before she dated you. So I don't think age is the problem .."

Lance glared at him angrily "no. It's the fact that my girlfriend is apparently fucking my teammate, that's the problem!" He snapped furiously . Heart breaking in his chest. Having trusted the both of them dearly.

"Maybe she isn't.." mick weakly tried to offer, wincing when Lance let out a mixture between a laugh and a cry. Burying his face into his hands as

the pieces all fell into each horrible place for him.

"She travelled to Spain for a whole month over our break. Told me it was for a girls holiday." He muttered. Feeling sick now as it all added up.

Lando grimaced , sharing a look with the others, no one knowing what to do or say at all.

"Mate...Alonso lives there. How did you not realise this sooner?" He muttered in shock. They all were.

Lance sniffled , Downing his glass of wine in one go. "Because he was so nice. But apparently he's just been pretending to be so that I wouldn't find out that he's been screwing my girlfriend the whole time." He groaned in misery "oh god. How long do you think this has been going on?" He dared to ask.

Charles just scoffed "ask the fucker. He's smug enough that he'd tell you. He's not feeling guilty at all. He's just left with your girlfriend man.. and you let him!"

Lance cried "well - how was I supposed to know that they'd been having some fucking affair the whole time?!" He exclaimed through his tears as he brought out his phone. Quickly bringing up his text thread with his teammate. His eyes blurry with tears as he typed out

How long have you been fucking my girlfriend Fernando?

Not even five minutes passed before his phone buzzed on the table in front of him. All of the drivers leaning in to see what he had wrote back to him.

"Oh fuck man.." Pierre grimaced to himself in disbelief , sharing a shocked look with Lando and mick who were gaping at his phone , stunned .

Nearly a year now. Our anniversary is next week. The thing is Lance , is that when you have a woman like Cherrie .. you have to hold onto her tightly otherwise somebody else will steal her away from you.

And maybe you should have tried remembering how much she hates red wine and salad. Maybe you should have took more care to ask where she was and who she was with.

You didn't even buy her flowers for her birthday. I took her home with me instead while you got drinks with the boys …

Now I'm going to buy her flowers for the rest of my life. Because I love her and she loves me.

I guess I'll See you in a few weeks teammate! adiós!

Then a picture was attached to the message, Lance in a state of shock as he looked at the picture that he had sent him showing them both cuddled up on a private plane .. an arrow drawn on the photo with the words 'going home.' Plastered on it.

He dropped his phone back to the table with a clatter, feeling Pierre and Lando pat his back in pity while mick just kept looking at Fernando's texts in disbelief .

"Guess he wasn't kidding about being the anti hero after all." He muttered to himself in shock.

By the time that they managed to drag a tearful Lance back home to a empty bedroom, her clothes all gone from her side of the wardrobe. They were already half way across the world, a smug Alonso holding a sleeping Cherrie to his chest as they traveled back to Spain again. To start brand new together. Just like he had planned.

Because he always got what he wanted in the end. No matter who's heart had to be broken in the process.

He won.

[wardenparker]

At First Sight

Alan McMichael x female Reader

Rating: G for General Audiences, but this blog is always 18+! Word Count: 3.1k Warnings: Alcohol, flirting, period manners, fluff, scheming family members, undesirable dance partners. Summary: Alan's sister Eunice is finally engaged and their mother is throwing a grand ball to celebrate. It is the last place that he wants to be...until he meets a young lady who wants to be there just as little as he does. Notes: It's been so, so very long since I wrote anything solo. Please be kind -- all errors are my own, and this is definitely not beta read. It's just a little piece inspired by my downtime at work and countless rewatches of Crimson Peak. Alan deserves some happiness, so I wanted to give him a bit. If there's interest I'll try to write more for these two, but I'll understand entirely if there's not. Thank you so so very much for reading! Dedicated to @julesonrecord for her tireless patience in putting up with me babbling about this character and how he deserved better. And to @ruflirtingwithme for always letting me keep Wade in my pocket wherever I go. There's a bit of him in this as well, for sure.

Despite the tailoring of his tuxedo, the familiar weight of the costume, and the well-traveled ballroom he finds himself standing in, Alan McMichael shifts uncomfortably. He’s lost weight this past year, worry and injury taking their toll, and the tailor assured him that it could barely be seen but took his jacket and the waist of his trousers in anyway. He isn’t as fit as he once was. He isn’t as strong. Not since he followed Edith up that mountain in England, only to bring her back down again to dual hospitalizations and true exhaustion. The doctors at the sanatorium don’t allow him to visit anymore .They say it causes episodes of hysteria. 

So now they must live inside their own heads separately, and his mother has taken that as meaning it is time to push him to move on. “It’s for the best.” His mother had said. But Alan couldn’t be sure. Still, he was forced to resume his everyday life, and now it has been a full year since that fateful trip to Crimson Peak. 

Eunice’s engagement has been a blessing to distract Mrs. McMichael. Her ploy to whisk her daughter off to New York City in the early summer had paid odd and now Eunice is engaged to the son of some banker who claimed to have an ancestor lead the charge at the Battle of Cowpens. They were all, Mrs. McMicheals told everyone in earshot, quite proud.

Now it was Alan’s turn to once again have marriage prospects pushed on him, and he stood in the ballroom ready to receive guests alongside his father with a false smile and a belly full of dread.

* * * * * *

“I thought you didn’t like Mrs. McMichaels?” The question hands in the air as you finish getting ready for the ball this evening. Spending the Christmas holiday in Buffalo with your aunt and uncle had been your brother’s idea – trying to see that you were taken care of without directly saying that having you in his house would be a burden. So you had reluctantly agreed, giving most of your staff the better part of three weeks off and taking only your maid with you to Buffalo. 

It’s not that I dislike her entirely, dear heart,” your aunt Joan insists. “I adore her soirees.”

“How foolish of me.” It takes all your strength not to roll your eyes but your maid recognizes the expression and smiles privately. “I ought to have known. You and Uncle Christian will want to stay until daybreak, won’t you?”

“Certainly.” Aunt Joan quips, appraising herself in her vanity mirror. “Her cook makes the most divine fruit crepes.”

You could point out that her usual overt piety discourages desire and gluttony, but at near seventy years of age, your great-aunt has earned a little indulgence from life. Instead you hum a non-committal agreement and pick up your gloves., “Then it will be well worth staying until breakfast,” you encourage, offering her a smile instead. 

“Indeed.” She seems most pleased at the prospect and shoes your maids away with finality. “Your dance card must be full tonight, child,” she warns with an alarming hint of mischief in her voice. “If we want you engaged before the worst of winter snows threaten to keep us all at home.”

* * * * * *

The McMichael’s ballroom shimmers with candlelight and each guest who is announced at the door is another jewel in the crown of the evening. Mrs. McMichaels flits about like a bird with a rare and precious seed, showing it off to everyone around her, and the guests who have eagerly arrived first bask in the shared glow of witnessing such good fortune. Fortunately, very certainly it is a fortunate thing, your Aunt Joan and Uncle Christian do not believe in arriving early to parties. They believe in leaving their home at the time the party is listed as beginning in order to appear both desirably busy and aloof, which means that your trio is squarely in the second half of arrivals to the McMichael house this evening. Even if it is only by a measure of twenty or thirty minutes, the less time you must spend with eligible men being foisted upon you, the better. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Christian Tate,” are announced along with your name, and Aunt Joan practically shoves your out in front of them to make sure you’re seen. Not that anyone would have noticed you otherwise, so perhaps it’s wise. The peacock colored gown you chose shimmers softly in the gaslight, but the ballrooms of Buffalo do not have the large, expansive windows and glass doors that you are accustomed to in Newport. It is all mahogany and walnut paneling here, and all the ladies but you – in their pinks and creams and honey yellows – knew better. You will be lost in wainscotted corners in your deep blue, green, and purple hues. Though perhaps it is for the best. This is not your society anyway. You have no intention of ending your time in Buffalo engaged no matter what Aunt Joan might intend.

The two gentlemen at the center of the ballroom could not be anymore obviously father and son, but where the father jokes and jovially signs dance cards at praise of his skills in the country dances, the son seems dour and aloof. His pinched smile does not precisely forbid conversation but it certainly does not encourage it, and he all but sighs in resignation when your Uncle Christian seems happy to see him.

“My wife’s great-niece,” you hear him saying, just before you are shuttled forward again. “Visiting from Newport for the holidays.”

“A pleasure,” the man intones, though you cannot think he means it.

“Is it?” You offer your hand only because your aunt clears her throat so pointedly. But it is at this point that the skyscraper with blonde hair you are being introduced to chuckles. The sound is broken but warm, and you are not so displeased with being here that you miss the way his blue eyes sparkle like aquamarine in the flickering light. 

“Perhaps,” he muses, catching the dance card dangling from your wrist before you can take your hand back. “Perhaps you are the first young lady to arrive tonight not to simper and curtsy over the supposed honor of being my mother’s guest. And perhaps I can recognize a fellow soul was was strong-armed into attending.” He looks tired, the heaviness of it hanging deep in his handsome features. Because yes, he is handsome. Intriguingly and admirably so. But that isn’t what is drawing you in to him like a rope tied into your ribcage that tugs you forward whenever he speaks. It’s something else. “Perhaps we will be allies tonight, you and I.”

“Allies?” You watch his hand as he claims both waltzes on your dance card, the first gentleman to do so and claiming what are arguably the most intimate of dances. “How terribly Napoleonic of you,” you droll in response.

He laughs again, a little more deeply, and shrugs his shoulders. “I would avoid the elder Mr. Davies if I were you,” he advises, clearly demonstrating his intent as that very ally he has claimed to be. “His wife passed last spring leaving him with three young children. He has become so desperate for a wife that he is inclined to propose to almost any new young lady he meets.”

“How very concerning for the young ladies.” You murmur back, glancing over at the man being subtly pointed out to you. He is squirrelish and balding, all the hair on his head seeming to have fallen to the bushy mustache adorning his upper lip. “Is there anyone else I ought to be wary of?”

“Oh, a dozen at least.” The mischief returns to this man-shaped mountain’s eyes and he offers you his arm. “It is well worth discussing. Perhaps over punch?”

“Mr. McMichael, I think you are using me as an excuse to abandon the receiving line.” You hum in amusement, not really able to say you blame him for such a thing. Or that you mind.

“Perhaps.” His grin has a shade of mischief and guilt to it. “But perhaps you are using me to avoid the attention of other guests who might bore, annoy, or otherwise rankle you, or even step on your shoes. Which I’m sure are quite beautiful and not to be defiled. This arrangement seems better for us both, don’t you think? I can promise you with surety that it has been more than a decade since I trod on a lady’s slipper at a ball.”

“I had intended to feign lightheadedness from the crowded ballroom halfway through the night,” you confess with a sly expression all your own. “Perhaps I still will. Or perhaps this mischief will prove diversion enough all on its own.”

* * * * * *

There have been many dances in your life that have made you terribly glad for the barrier of gloves between you and the man leading. Whether it was their manners that were unsuitable, the sweat of their palms, or some unsavory odor lingering around them like a drought-stricken pond, there seemed always to be some partners with whom dancing was as undesirable as an overturned stagecoach. 

Tonight you fear it might be you. 

Dr. McMichael — Alan, he has insisted that you call him Alan — is a divine dancer. The grandeur of his stature does nothing to inhibit his grace and as he twirls you both about the ballroom you have the oddest sensation of floating that has ever been. But as if grace and poise were not enough, the man has a damning and wicked sense of humour as well. It has taken only the smallest encouragement from you to earn you scathing reviews of the other partygoers from you. The descriptions have you nearly in hysterics in his arms, but worse yet is the way that he smiles. It is a sly and puckish expression that makes his eyes light and sparkle in the candlelight, and every time he aims it at you, you can feel yourself sweat in the most unbecoming and unladylike way. 

Moist palms or a damp dress back do not make for a desirable partner, and all you can do is hope desperately that your gloves and corset are providing ample barrier so that he has no idea how deeply those smiles and jokes and bright eyes are affecting you. 

“I must sound deeply cynical,” he comments after a pause. He has just told you the story of the two Misses Shrewsbury and their positively ghastly attempt at conning the attendants of a seance he attended in Albany some years ago. “I am not. Or at least I do not mean to be.”

“Is it society that you disapprove of? Or faith?” Neither question is a judgment on your part, but you tilt your head to him conspiratorially as you dance. “I have found myself weary of both in the past, that is why I ask.”

“It is neither,” Alan admits, though he does so with a wistful sigh. “I think perhaps I yearn for times past when I reveled in dancing and philosophical pursuits. When the contents of conversation at a dinner party provided fascination for days afterward.” Subtly, so that you can feel it but it is not seen to the plain-eyes observer, he shrugs. “Life soldiers on, I suppose.”

“It does.” You cannot dispute that, and you would not try. You know the trudging on of time as well as any other touched by tragedy. “May I ask what changed? Or is that impertinent?”

“It is not impertinent.” He casts his eye around the room then back down at you. “But I am afraid it is not polite, either. I would not shock you so, to tell it all. I will only say that I lost my dear friend very recently.”

“Then I am very sorry to hear it, but I have every belief in your humanity. Your taste for society, your faith, and your fascinations will return.” The look on his face says he wonders how you can be so sure, and you half-smile. The hint of sadness in your eyes keeps it from becoming full. “Take the word of an orphan of two beloved parents, Dr. McMichael. You will come back to life again after the loss of your friend. It may simply take time.”

“Alan,” he presses softly, reminding you of his insistence. “And I am sorry to hear of your sadness, as well. But it seems that perhaps God or the ghosts of our past have seen fit to introduce us tonight. Whichever it is that you believe in.”

“Whichever it is, I welcome their intervention.” It seems to you at this point that he does not care much for spiritualism or ghosts of any kind, so you will not speak your mind on that topic. As for God? His guidance has not been the one you sought in many years. No, tonight you will not give credence to any of it, if only to keep the mood light and perhaps make Alan laugh again. “I think, however, that I shall ascribe it entirely to my great-uncle. As he was the one to see us introduced.”

“So he was.” As the song ends, Alan bows quite deeply in deference to his admirable partner. “I believe I shall have to thank him for it.”

* * * * * *

“Why don’t I know the girl your son has been doting on all night?” Mrs. McMichael is behind her fan to her husband from the edge of the dance floor, inspecting the dancing and overseeing the needs of all her guests. Her guests. Which is why she is so perturbed not to be able to identify this young woman immediately. “Who is her family? She must be with one of your business associates, yes?”

“Let Alan flirt.” Edwin McMichael waves one hand dismissively, not even looking in his only son’s direction. “It’s good for him. He’s been too dour for too long.”

“I don’t care if he flirts.” Ellen ruffles, her lips pursed and ready for an argument. “So long as he flirts with the correct young ladies.”

“How do you know she is not correct?”

“Because I do not know who she is or who she came with.”

“She is Christian Tate’s great-niece.”

Ellen’s nose wrinkles. “The orphan?”

“The orphan with an eight million dollar inheritance and a palatial cottage in Newport in her name.” Mr. McMichael raises one eyebrow as he peers down at his wife, knowing precisely the sort of affect this news will have on his wife. After all, she married him for his fortune — why should Alan not marry a fortune as well? “Let Alan flirt. It makes him smile.”

* * *

He finds you again later, outside of the ballroom when you’ve wandered away to breath air that hasn’t come from the mouths of five other people first and doesn’t smell distinctly of stale cigars and brandy. He finds you when you are slumped, unladylike, in the window seat of his father’s library gazing out the window at the snow as it drifts lazily down from the pitch-black sky. 

“I thought you’d run away on me.” His voice is light but the undercurrent of worry, or else embedded sadness, is there if you listen. Like a weariness that had taken hold in him sometime since the loss of his friend that he had not been able to shake. Rather than apologizing for it or paying it any mind, Alan simply holds out one of the delicate cups of mulled wine that he brought with him when he went in search of you. “I’m very glad to see that isn’t the case.”

“I had to make myself scarce from the quadrille,” you admit, having the good sense to look at least a little sheepish about it. “That Mr. Davies…the one you warned me about? He caught sight of the fact that I had been left out of the dance before and attached himself to me.” Though the conversation could not be considered so terrible to be characterized as harrowing or torturous or anything as dramatic as all that, you still had not enjoyed his overbearing presence and unfortunate lack of manners. “I’m afraid that I feigned a headache to excuse myself.”

He laughs. Truly and thoroughly, and from his belly. Alan McMichael laughs so entirely that you bury your face in one hand after you accept the offered drink from his hand and you sigh audibly. “I’m sorry…” he chuckles, gasping for a dramatic sigh when he can catch his breath. “ It’s just that you’re so terribly apologetic and sweet about it. No one would be cross with you for avoiding an impertinent man old enough to be your father.”

“I see you have not met my Aunt Joan.” With a dutiful but resigned sigh, you stand from your place of respite and sip the rather delicious drink that he has brought you. At precisely 4:02 in the morning it is both horrifyingly too late for such a drink and far too terribly early – a dichotomy that delights you. “She has done her best to see me partnered with every single man here tonight. It is only my ill luck that I encountered the only desirable partner so early in the night. To dance together a third time would expose us both to comment.”

“So?” Alan sips his own wine and gazes down at you curiously, wondering whether or not you actually give a damn about all of this convention and these rules that seem to have been mutually agreed upon by the same people who determined what food is served at each course at formal suppers. That is – someone very long ago and far away that no one can remember any longer. “I’d like to dance with you again. And you just said that you’d like to dance with me. So who gives a damn if someone talks about it?”

“Won’t your mother be cross with you?” He had said something earlier about his mother wanting him to dance with just every young lady at the ball tonight. And you know for certain that he has not just as you have not danced with every single man. 

“My mother is routinely cross with me.” He admits, enjoying a laugh at the truth of it. “I try not to let it disappointment me too much.”

It is all you can do to consider him – broad shoulders stretching that jacket of his and bright eyes sparkling with mischief, the tilt of his smile and the invitation of his outstretched hand – before you are sighing in a rather dramatic show of resignation that barely shields the actual delight written on your face. “Very well,” you acquiesce, taking his hand and giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. “Let us be the object of idle gossip tomorrow. Let tongues wag. I will be gone in a week anyhow and that will be the end of it. For tonight, at least, we shall have a bit of fun.”

______

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My Masterlist!

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Past Relationship Trauma

Hyung!Line

Summary: your past relationship with your ex messed you up and you still deal with the trauma, but your boyfriend now reassures you and proves to you that you are safe and loved.

Warnings: past trauma, mentions of anxiety and depression, self-harm, past emotional abuse and mental abuse mentioned, insecurities, angst, fluff, hyung!line being the sweetest boyfriends, self-doubt. MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: SELFHARM

W.C.: 2.4k

Notes: heeeey, I’m back! This is an emotional rollercoaster because this is some of the shit, I went through with the boy I told you guys about. At the time I did not realize what was going on, but now that I do, I needed to write about it but with fluff and daydreams about the boys. I have a lot of things to work on because of him, but this gave me some healing and hope that my future S/O can understand where I am coming from on how I feel and that I’m going to be healing. I am healing, but the thought of being vulnerable again is scary, because you know, trusting someone with your heart is scary. But I want to let everyone know that it is okay to heal, it is okay to trip in the process in healing. So, I hope you enjoy this, and it might be hard to read, but take time. I am working on the Maknaes!line, and it should be up soon!

Kim Seokjin:

He started noticing that you have become off a few weeks ago. He did not know what was going on because from his knowledge everything was fine, and you guys were happy. Doing everything that he can, such as having the house clean before you got home from a long day at work, making sure your hoodie, or his because you have claimed it as yours, that you wear at night for bed was warm because he always puts it in the dryer before you go to bed.

It is scaring him because he loves you and does not want to lose you at all because you are his ray of sunshine. Trying to figure it out himself, he realized that you are putting a wall up that he thought he knocked down. He knows that you were mistreated in your last relationship, and it makes you scared that it would happen again. But after a year of proving to you that will not happen, he thought he conquered your demons and got rid of them, but maybe he missed those.

Finally, he approached you about it as he lays in bed with you, getting ready to get to bed.

“Baby? What’s going on?” He asked, grabbing your hands, holding tightly onto them.

Not realizing that those four words made you break down into tears. Freaking out, he pulled you into arms and held onto you tightly, caressing your hair and whispering encouraging words to you, trying to calm you down.

“I’m so scared that somethings going to go bad with us. We’re so happy and healthy that I can’t believe that this is what happens in healthy relationships. Something is not right. This isn’t right. When are you going to get irritated with me and dump me? This must be wrong because this isn’t right.” You choked out, holding tightly onto him.

That is what it was. You fear happiness, and you are not used to it. Seokjin felt like his heart broke because it hurts him to see someone who gives their all to someone and then it gets destroyed over and over. So having someone and something who doesn’t do that is so odd because you are used to that pattern and when it changes, it’s terrifying.

“I know baby. I know. You’ve been hurt so many times that being used to that kind of treatment is familiar and when you get out of that and find healthy… it’s a foreign feeling that you start preparing yourself for downfall. It’s okay to be scared, but please don’t push me away. I want to be here for you and help you. I know it’s hard, and I’ll go at your pace, but please don’t shut me out. I love you so fucking much. How about this. How about we every day sit down for however long and talk about things that are our minds. I know in that pretty head of yours can be your own worst enemy and you get stuck in it. Let me help you get unstuck, okay?”

Looking up at him with teary eyes, you nod your head in agreement. Leaning down, Seokjin presses a kiss on your lips that always makes his heart flutter. He felt you relax in his arms and smile into it.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do. Mr. WorldWide needs his Mrs. WorldWide, and he just so happens to have found her when they both needed each other.”

Min Yoongi:

Sometimes Min Yoongi wishes that he could read your mind like Edward Cullen in Twilight because that way he could get your overthinking to stop. He knows what hell you went through with your ex-boyfriend, and he wishes he could beat his ass for what he did to you.

But he does his best to be patient with you because he knows it’s trauma that you carry with you, and something you are working on and that is your constant overthinking.

Now, he doesn’t blame you and can understand and see clearly why you overthink because your ex-boyfriend was a manipulative, narcissistic dick. He fucked with your mind so badly that it took you almost a year to trust your mind and your own thoughts.

Right now, though, he could tell that you wanted to tell him something but kept back tracking, and this is something that he can’t help but to get irritated with. To be clear, it’s not him irritated with you, but irritated at the fact some boy fucked with your head so badly that you’re scared to even explain how you feel on a situation.

“Y-Yoongi, can I talk to you?” You stuttered, confidence nowhere in sight.

“Of course, what’s wrong?” He asked gently, giving you a gentle, loving smile, knowing that approaching him on how you feel so hard because of your past.

Taking a deep breath, you began to fidget with your fingers, and he could tell your anxiety is creeping you onto you. “I know you’ve been busy lately and that it’s been stressful, but I’m just worried that I did something wrong because you have been kind of short with me and not as t

talkative. And I’m sorry if I did something, and I seem clingy, but like I just needed to ask— “

You were cut off by his finger on your lips, shutting you up in a gentle manner.

“No baby, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I should’ve approached you earlier on this, and I was about to before you came in. I didn’t mean to sound irritated and distant when we messaged each other. I was very caught up in my writing and yesterday the Maknae line was getting on my nerves, so I kind of took my irritation out on you when that was not my intention.”

“So, I didn’t do anything wrong?” Needing to hear the confirmation just one more time from him.

“No, my love, you did nothing wrong, I promise you. I’ll make sure next time to watch out on how I approach you if I’m irritated, I promise.”

Smiling at him with a small smile, he knew that you were still unsure and nervous, which he understood. But you’ve both made more progress in the last six months with you believing him because he made a promise that he will fix you and prove to you that he is not like your ex.

Leaning towards you, he grabbed your face with his hands lovingly and brought your lips to his and kissed you with all the love that he has for you in it. He smiled into the kiss once he felt your smile against his lips.

It takes time, and he knows that there’s still more battles for you both to get through, but he knows you both will get through it together.

Jung Hoseok:

The past couple of weeks, your anxiety has been skyrocketing through the roof to where you have anxiety attacks every single day and Hoseok does not understand why. Hoseok is very familiar with anxiety – having experienced with anxiety with himself – but he does not know on how to approach you on this. You are very secretive with your mental health, besides when it comes to anxiety because it is a part of you, and he knows that you hate that it is. He also does know that your past relationship with your ex, he heard from your best friend that he made you feel bad about your mental health and always made degrading comments about it, especially with the medicine that you take.

Coming home from dance practice, Hoseok was confused on why the house was so quiet. Your car was parked in the driveway and your shoes were in the shoe cubby that was by the front door, so obviously you were home, but the house was deathly quiet. Kicking his shoes off, not thinking about putting them in the shoe cubby, he sat his duffle bag down and began his mission on finding you. Checking the kitchen and living room and not finding you there, he made his way down the hall towards your guy’s bedroom. Entering it, he saw the light that was coming from the bathroom, and he heard some movement coming from in there. Walking straight into the bathroom unannounced, he found you with a razor in your hand and fresh cuts along with your wrist.

“What in the fuck are you doing?” Hoseok asked, panic in his tone.

Looking up at him in shock, you threw the razor away from you, tears coming to surface in your eyes as you broke down completely.

“I-I’m so sorry, I blacked out and-and I could not resist it,” you sobbed out, panicking to grab toilet paper to stop the bleeding. “I-I’m so sorry, please do not be mad at me,” you begged, trying to take care of the wounds on your wrist.

Not saying anything, Hoseok grabbed the washcloth that was laying on the sink and wetting it. Making his way towards you, he gently grabbed your wrist and began to dab at it with the washcloth, his focus was making sure to clean up the mess and getting the bleeding to stop.

After a few quiet minutes – minus your sobs and shaky breaths – he finally spoke, “what happened?” He asked you, voice filled with worry.

“I-I could not control it; my mind became too loud and my thoughts getting the best of me. I tried, Hope, I tried so hard to ignore it, but it took over.”

“What thoughts, baby?” He asked, needing to know what you were thinking.

“That I was becoming too much and not enough. Everything was going so right, too right, and I guess I just could not handle it. I just thought I would be the one to sabotage it and hurt myself before you hurt me so it would be easier to cope with.” You began to sob harder, not being able to take the thought of losing Hoseok. “I fucked up, I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, no you did not. You tripped and tripping happens with healing, I’m not going anywhere I promise. We will get you through this, okay? We are in this together, okay? I got you; I promise baby.”

“Okay.” You stuttered out, breathing heavy and mind foggy. But you trust him, because he did not make you feel bad about what happened, and he is still here with you.

Kim Namjoon:

It is hard seeing someone who you love so much hate their self so much to where they are so fragile emotionally and mentally. Some days, they can be doing so good and the next day they are back in their rabbit hole, not being able to take a small thing of criticism and thinking that they cannot achieve anything because of constantly, in their mind, messing up.

This is Namjoon’s thoughts on you. He loves you so much, but seeing you so destroyed from a past relationship and trying to heal yourself still breaks his heart. Just because of this, Namjoon is not going to leave you, he is wanting to fix you. Some people think that this can be exhausting and would give up, but Namjoon is not giving up on you. You both have gotten farther in your healing process, but some things can tip you off. And that thing was losing your father because of your beliefs being different than his, and it crushed you because you began to think that your thinking was not right. Getting out of mentally abusive relationship to where you felt wrong for having your own thought process and having to second guess yourself is a toll. Because, when you had your own opinion on something, your ex would criticize you for thinking the way you did and made you feel bad about it became unbearable. You lost yourself and felt so lost in your own mind that you did not know who you were anymore.

So, coming home to you tonight crying on the couch, Namjoon knew what to do. Setting his belongings down in the entrance, he made his way over to you, taking the blanket off the back of the couch and laid it over you. Sensing his presence, you sat up and wrapped the blanket around yourself before lunging yourself into his arms.

“My love, what happened?” He asked gently, running his fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp – an act that you love and found comfort in.

“I’m so sorry, I know that this is becoming old, and tiring, but at work, a coworker criticized my work, and I defended it! I defended myself, Joonie, but-but they got to me, making me think what I thought and said was stupid and they did that smirk. They did that smirk and it got to me, when it shouldn’t have. We’ve been working on this, but I could not help it. But it hurt. It made me feel pathetic and stupid. I’m so stupid.”

“Baby, I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself, and that is such huge progress that you have made. I am so, so proud of you, baby. And I know that they got to you, but you have to realize that - wait was it Michael who said that?” He asked, needing to make sure that he knew who it was from your work.

“Yes,” you replied.

Laughing at this confirmation – not at you, but at the fact that this dick who is below you in success at your company is criticizing you since he has not had a promotion in two years while you have in the past year. “Of course, it was him. My love, please do not work yourself up on someone who is less than you. And I know this is hard, but we can get this. Like you said, you defended yourself! Do you know how long you and I have been working on this? For a year and you finally did it! You did it baby, and now our next mission is to work on not caring about what Michael thinks, and not letting this dick make you feel bad about how you feel and think. We got this. Do we have a deal?”

Smiling up at him, you nodded, “but it is going to be hard. He got to me, and this is going to be difficult.”

“And it was difficult for you three months ago to defend yourself, but you finally did it. And I know for a fact that we will get to where you will be able to not care about what people think of you, and how you think and feel. We got this baby.”

Smiling, feeling much better, “we got this.”

[mistress-riddle]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄?

cw. sirius black x reader. cursing. humour. smth unserious being treated seriously bc sirius is involved and he’s dramatic only with his bae.

a/n. icl this was inspired by my ben barnes binge yesterday.

a shaky exhale sounded from a place nearby and you lifted your head from lazily skimming a magazine to direct part of your attention to your boyfriend hovering by the couch with a worried expression settled on his pretty features.

“you alright there, siri?” you ask, your eyes went back to looking over the page you were previously on before flipping to the next, not too bothered by sirius’ presence.

“babe, i think i’m finally ready.” 

.

all of your focus was funnelled to sirius but your gaze remained on the colourful paper as you cleared your throat “what are you ready for, honey?”

another exhale escaped his lips, hands clutching at each other and he sets his face to express determination “i’m ready for you know what.” he takes his bottom lip between his teeth.

discarding the magazine, you stand up to face sirius, hands darting to hold his own “i’m glad you trust me to do this for you, sweetie, it’ll be alright and over before you know it.” you release the grasp to place one hand on his cheek, and drag your fingers through his wavy hair.

“be gentle with me, please.” his voice verges on a pleading tone, eyes holding a desperate undertone behind them. his hand escapes your 2-hand clutch to hold your left hand in his right, and your right hand that was gliding through his tresses in his other.

“of course, anything for you, dear.” long gone was their usual teasing and bickering and in its place came compassion and softness. this was a huge deal.

“thank you, love.” you guide him to your bathroom and get him seated on the stool before the large mirror.

“give me a sec, hun.” you pat his head before leaving him to search the required items. doubt begins to build within him once more but he works harder to push it down with a gulp and you’re by his side a few moments later “okay, we can always stop if you don’t want to do this siri, don’t let your friends force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“please, just get it over and done with.” he almost cries and you shake your head, giving him a back hug before tapping his shoulder in understanding.

“it’s okay baby, i’ll love you the same regardless.” sirius appreciates the sentiment, eyes blinking in gratitude, finding comfort in holding your hand tightly “alright, close your eyes, i’ll be quick.” 

sirius complies, lashes fluttering as his eyes close shut and he finds himself grasping at your thighs from behind you for comfort, you let him be for the time being as it was yet to be a hindrance to your procedure. 

around 20 minutes later your hand grasped sirius’ jaw and he looked up at the mirror, gazing wide eyed at the reflection it presented. “holy shit...” he ran his fingers through his hair once or twice (probably 10 times) and turned to face you so quickly he might’ve gotten whiplashed in the process “is it possible that i look even better?”

“yeah, this is actually unfair,” you sigh, arms crossing as you study his appearance “i guess i should be happy that i’m so lucky.”

“and here i thought not having long hair would make me look...” he grimaces “average.”

sirius whose hair was close to growing past his shoulders now donned a haircut that did not pass the nape of his neck. he hasn’t had hair this short since his 3rd year at hogwarts, choosing to instead grow it long because he believed he looked better that way plus it annoyed his mother (a well added bonus if you asked him).

“you’re so annoying, you know that?” you roll your eyes, lightly shoving him before retreating to your bed and you can hear sirius following you.

“yeah, you tell me that every day,” he proudly claims “it’s part of my charm.” he winks.

“you said that about your hair but that’s currently in the bin.” 

“but with my devilishly good looks i’m bound to look amazing with any hairstyle, who would’ve known that long hair was just inhibiting my full potential?” sirius was so quick to find another mirror located in your bedroom and admire his new hairdo.

“i hate the fact that i can’t even argue on that, you handsome motherfucker.”  

[yourlocallyneysimp]

Genshin Boys x Komi/Mute!Reader (Part 2)

Note: This is very old lol.

Characters: Ayato, Childe, Scaramouche

Ayato:

Ayato met you through Ayaka. He only had to take one glance to tell that you struggled with meeting new people so he tried to get close to you. He will spoil you a lot even though you try to tell him that you don't need all of the gifts he gets you! He didn't laugh or make fun of you when you told him about your dream of making 100 friends, he was actually quite impressed.

Ayato doesn't only spoil you with gifts, but a lot of food too so be prepared with your empty stomach! If you ever have trouble ordering your food, he would help you pick out what you want to eat and tell the waitress your order. Sometimes he even shares his boba with you. 💙

Childe:

You probably met him accidently while walking around in Liyue. You were looking for Zhongli, but couldn't find him anywhere. Zhongli was your personal translator so you of course started to panic since you had a lot to do that day that required a lot of talking.

You were then approached by a ginger which you recognized as Zhongli's friend, Childe. You never really interacted with him since you were to afraid to associate yourself with a harbinger. (You were also a bit scared) When he finally was in talking range of you he asked if you were okay which you obviously weren't since you were shaking uncontrollably so you slowly pulled out you notebook and a pen. You then wrote, 'No, I can't find Mr. Zhongli.' "Oh, so you're looking for Zhongli huh? He ran into a bit of trouble with Hu Tao so he would be back soon." You understood and slightly bowed down in a form of respect getting ready to just go home. You were quickly stopped though by Childe asking if you wanted to go to a restaurant together so you could get to know each other. You then remembered your life long goal and agreed. He then lead you to a fancy restaurant.

When you arrived Childe remembered Zhongli telling him about your favorite tea so he ordered that and a few dishes. He could see you were pleased with the tea you ordered since you kept drinking it. He couldn't help but pat you on the head while having a small smile on his face. You then had a small thought. '..Maybe he isn't so bad after all.'

Scaramouche:

Scaramouche has always had a dislike for you sincr he always thought you ignored him. One day he asked you to go fetch him some papers from Signora since he claimed that he didn't want to see her, but the problem was you didn't know where Signora's office was. You started to shake while having your big eyes since you were afraid to ask so you just stood still. That was Scara's breaking point. He got really annoyed and started to yell at you for ignoring him one again! (Which you weren't) So you quickly pulked out your notebook and quickly started to scribble in it. Although, when you showed him the notebook he didn't even spare it a glance. Instead he smacked it out your hand and continued to shout.

You were getting a bit frustrated and didn't really know what to do so you started to shakr even more. Eventually Childe barged in telling Scara to shut up since he couldn't focus on his work until his eyes landed on yiur shaking form. Scara got really annoyed by the sight of Childe in HIS office so he told him to get out since he was dicipling his assistant. Childe quickly walked over and explained everything.

Ok so..... Scara felt REALLY bad although he didn't show it. His face only softened slightly but you of course noticed. Eventually you started to also notice he had a lot more patience with you than before which made you a bit happy. He also ordered Childe to show you around a bit to get used to the big area you were in and even waits for your response when your writing in your notebook. He would even become more protective of you than ever and won't let you wander off anywhere on your own. He still doesn't really understand why you don't talk much, but he still tries to but himself in your shoes. 💜

[michainabox]

Okay so I’m revisiting Undertale after a long time and I just have to say this. This is a very very long post.

I don’t know if I should tag this? But uh. I guess I go a little in depth with Flowey and the major spoilers of Undertale, have a brush of a spoiler for In Stars and Time, and just major ramblings.

Flowey somewhat unsettles me.

And I don’t mean fear or scary enough that it distresses me, I mean truly unsettles me in an uncomfortable sense where I have to take a step back to analyze.

Like. Yes that’s the point, he is suppose to be an unsettling character. But my thing is, it is hard to unsettle me. You can ask my partner and anyone I know, I consume a lot of horror media. It is hard to unsettle me, or make me uncomfortable with certain things. And with games? Even harder. There has only been a couple of times where media has unsettled me that I can count only three instances of this.

The book Hell Followed with Us by Andrew Joseph White (had to unpack a lot of my religious trauma with that book. Good read though.)

Act 5 of In Stars and Time because I related a bit to much to Siff’s breakdown and the fact that you can’t stop it no matter how much you wanted too. You were powerless to do anything. You just have to sit and watch and follow.

And then of course. Flowey. The character himself.

What spurred this ramble Micha? Well. I’ll tell you.

We find out that before Frisk had fallen, Flowey had enough determination in that stupid little flower body to reset the timelines himself. Without the souls, he still had the powers of a god, but it was limited much like Frisk. He has reset hundreds, if not thousands of times. He says that he has tried anything and everything to change the variables. Maybe doing little things like planting ideas into monsters heads, or bigger things. (After all if anything goes wrong he can always reset.)

But nothing could change.

No matter what he did, it never mattered.

It never worked.

It would drive people insane.

And then Frisk shows up. And Flowey doesn’t have the power to reset anymore. Instead, this little kid with a red soul (and the same fashion sense of his dead sibling) shows up and destroys everything. And if you go with the pacifist route. Doesn’t head the lesson of kill or be killed.

And it start to work out for Frisk. It also works in Flowey’s favor too. We can imagine that Frisk is the first ever child to face Asgore for the first time since he started to collect human souls, and Frisk has the power to come back, Frisk even reminds Asgore how many times he has killed them. And Flowey watches as Frisk can either spare or kill Asgore in the final moments. But the players choice doesn’t matter.

Because Flowey was waiting for this opportunity. With the souls unguarded, he can use them. And of course, he can practically torture Frisk until he is ready to claim their soul. And even after all of that, you can choose to kill Flowey or grant him mercy. And he doesn’t understand if you do give him mercy. Because for him, it really is killed or be killed.

(I also have my own theory or analysis for the phone call and where Frisk went after the neutral ending, but that’s another post if anyone is interested in my thoughts.)

Anyways. After the phone call he pops up again, and here is where the unsettling part comes in.

He plants the idea in the Frisk/Player’s head that there is another way. That they didn’t truly save their friends, they didn’t truly save themselves.

And Flowey knows Frisk would try anything to get that happy ending.

Because we would want to find out what that happy ending looks like. Because it’s human nature to be curious and want something better.

He preys upon that and uses it to only serve as his own stepping stone. He isn’t even sure it will work. But he does that anyways. Because if your playing pacifist he sees the fact that Frisk took the time to befriend and spare all the monsters.

Flowey isn’t unsettling because he can change his face, wants to kill Frisk, and even attempted and succeeded multiple times.

It’s the fact that while he says he is soulless, that he can’t understand why he is being spared, he learned just enough to prey on that human nature to get what he ultimately wants.

That’s what ultimately unsettles me about him.

(If anyone has any questions about my thoughts or other theories just ask. I love rambling)

(Note. I edited it slightly to fit in more with the games because of some issues I had with misremembering events)

[extasiswings]

20. you’re in a car with a beautiful boy and you're trying not to tell him that you love him. Please!

Feeling unhinged over recent spec so here we are.

After the lightning, Eddie starts to notice things.

Well, no. If he’s honest, he’s always noticed, he just never let himself admit it. He would play games with himself to avoid acknowledging the obvious, like pretending that if his eyes tracked the flex of Buck’s back while he did pull-ups in the gym, he was just admiring Buck’s form. If he got a little breathless or his mouth went dry, it must have been because he was dehydrated or had been working out too hard himself.

If he tried to convince Buck to spend the night after they put Christopher to bed, well, clearly it was because Buck couldn’t possibly drive back to his own place after a 48-hour shift and a single beer consumed hours earlier.

Flimsy excuses, paper thin, but he made them. And for the things that he couldn’t make excuses for, he simply refused to think about them, shoved them so deep into a corner of his mind that he wouldn’t have to.

If I die, you become Christopher’s legal guardian.

Why are you just telling me now?

Because Evan…

(Not an answer).

After the lightning, he lets himself admit the truth. About everything.

Like the fact that he’s in love with Buck.

That he’s been in love with Buck for years—long enough that Ana never had a chance because his heart was thoroughly claimed well before they met.

That when he gets breathless and distracted by Buck’s bare skin, it’s because he wants to put his mouth on it. Or that when he can’t stop staring at Buck’s hands, it’s because he’s wondering what it would feel like if they touched him, how Buck’s fingers would fit into the spaces between his own or curled into his hair.

Or inside him.

After the lightning, Eddie knows that the reason he never wants Buck to go home is because as far as Eddie’s concerned, Buck belongs with him, with Christopher. As far as Eddie’s concerned, their home is Buck’s home.

And the reason it makes him feel like there’s a monster clawing at his insides whenever he thinks about the fact that Buck gave himself to virtual strangers in an attempt at making a family…

Well. That’s really his own fault, isn’t it? If he hadn’t taken so long, if he had just been honest sooner, he could have made Buck understand that he already has a family. A child. A life.

With them.

There’s one thing Eddie notices that is new though. The fact that, after the lightning? He’s not the only one looking.

Buck looks too. Catches him more often than not, so the two of them both know that something has shifted, that they’re somewhere new even if neither one of them is saying anything.

Eddie wants to. Say something. The words sit on the tip of his tongue, sharp and sweet, making him ache with the desire to let them fall.

He aches. He wants. He loves.

But he can’t tell Buck. Not yet.

Buck isn’t ready. Eddie can tell that he isn’t ready, that he’s so in his head and so afraid that Eddie could offer him everything in the world, anything…and he’s pretty sure Buck would run away. Because Buck will trust him to do anything except stay.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks. They’re in the car, Buck driving Eddie home from Bobby and Athena’s. It’s been an eventful evening between Hen and Karen announcing that they’re taking in another foster child and Chim and Maddie getting engaged, and Eddie has been watching Buck since the moment he slipped outside when everyone else rushed the newly engaged couple.

Buck’s profile is in shadow as he focuses on the road ahead, and Eddie’s eyes track the movement of his throat as he swallows.

There’s enough of a pause that Eddie thinks Buck might not answer, but finally he says—

“I’m happy for her. I am. Chim is so good for her and she deserves the world. I guess I just can’t help wondering…”

He trails off and Eddie hears what he doesn’t say.

When is it my turn? When do I get that?

Eddie swallows hard. Bites his lip. His eyes drop to Buck’s hands where they’re wrapped around the steering wheel, solid and sure. A pang of longing stabs through his lungs, stealing his breath.

Whenever you want, he wants to say. You can have that whenever you want—just tell me and I’ll give it to you.

I love—

Eddie forces his mouth to stay closed until he’s managed to swallow back every dangerous declaration. And what he says instead is—

“Stay the night? We could make breakfast with Christopher in the morning.”

The quirk of Buck’s lips feels like a victory.

“Sure. Why not?” He looks away from the road for just a moment to catch Eddie’s eyes. “Your couch is going to kill my back one of these days though.”

So don’t sleep on the couch.

Eddie doesn’t say it. But he doesn’t say anything else either. And from the way Buck looks away quickly, his cheeks flushing lightly, Eddie thinks maybe they both hear it anyway.

Soon, he promises himself silently. Promises both of them. Soon.

Because after the lightning, it’s only a matter of time.

[hello-nichya-here]

Inspired by a fic on AO3- Only Love on Offer (not mine but it’s a work of art)

Diverges at the bedroom scene:

“You really don’t understand me at all do you?”

Azula was confused and opened her mouth to respond, when Zuko decided to throw caution to the wind and kissed her.

Shes’s stunned speechless for a long moment and he is nervous waiting for her to respond, when she takes a step forward and hesitantly presses her lips against his.

This progresses to a sweet first time, it’s a little painful for Azula but Zuko is so gentle with her and takes it on himself to please her as much as he possibly can. Afterwords they’re cuddling, neither really believing what they just did.

“How long have you…?”

“Always really. But I didn’t figure it out until a couple weeks before I was banished.”

“And you- even after-“

“Always LaLa.”

Flash forward and the two of them haven’t slept apart in days/weeks, not always sex but always in love. They use secret passages in order to make sure no one finds out, Zuko tells her about the spirit water and the assassin he hired to try and make sure the job was done. She leans on him, finally having someone who loves her and isn’t afraid to make sure she knows it.

Then two things happen:

Ozai decides it’s time to find a his daughter a husband, and Azula misses her period.

They have to move fast, Zuko is not going to let Ozai burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground, take his sister-lover away from him, or be a threat to their baby. Azula is totally willing to kill Ozai, but for plot reasons they decide to go with the help the Avatar route.

When Zuko goes to the Gaang he admits that he’d already been having doubts, but ultimately finding out his lover was pregnant, and due to it being both out of wedlock and the nature of their relationship, the only way for them to be together would be if he was Fire Lord.

They all come up with their own theories as to who the mystery woman is and general consensus is that she was either not Fire Nation or a servant.

Despite Zuko’s assurances that at the very least Azula was on his side and wouldn’t go against them with him there, they still go to the palace to make a claim for Fire Lord and Katara is ready for a fight.

Azula has had the palace evacuated and fired most of her maids so her pregnancy stayed a secret, she’s now Fire Lord and to everyone’s surprise but Zuko’s warmly welcomes her brother home. As she’s the Fire Lord no one can argue with her. She admits that she doesn’t want to be Fire Lord, that all she wants is to live her life as she pleased with whom she chose, and has the stunned Fire Sages crown Zuko. The second the coronation is done he hugs her, Katara is wary but relieved that everything has gone so well and is happy to see the two of them so happy for each other.

They take things inside and Zuko asks how Azula is doing and she smiles says they’re both fine and puts his hand on her bump. At this point Katara puts the pieces together and is completely disgusted, but Azula points out this is the least terrible thing the royal family had ever done, and the two of them were still the best option the world had.

Things are a nightmare of post war dealings and the wedding winds up being ‘quiet’ by royal standards- only the ambassadors and the entire royal court attended. Aang managed to get the rest of the Gaang to show up in support (he’s the only one who out and out does not care about the incest).

Iron is completely against the relationship, he doesn’t try to hide that fact, he’s polite enough to attend the wedding and keep his mouth shut during it, but loudly says at every other opportunity that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea nor does he approve.

That all changes the second an ecstatic Zuko, practically vibrating with excitement as he holds his newborn daughter, sets Izumi into his arms.

“This is grandpa my little turtleduck.”

After that he is completely on board and their staunchest defender. He spends the rest of his life happily drinking tea surrounded by his many grandbabies.

It is a work of art indeed, and once again, WHY does the zucest community just not post their stuff? Thank you for sharing it, anon.

Also, I think it'd be pretty in character for Azula to not kill her dad even if she ever grows to feel he deserves it. I even imagine Zuko not being able to go through with it. They were both so dependent on him emotionally and for validation for so long, it makes sense that even if they grew to not want him in their lives at all, and maybe had some pretty ugly confrontations with him too, they still wouldn't feel right about killing him.

[silviakundera]

Moonlight Chicken Liveblogging Ep 4-5

Ep 4

A glimpse of Wen's home life, cohabitating with an ex! I've been there in my 20s. Yep, it's awkward af.

They honestly depict that strain really well. The writing is so real it's dragging up old feelings from me.

Sigh. I can't make myself care too much about the nephew. He's not all wrong, he's a person with needs, but I'm just... These days I find I'm too old to connect with teen angst when everything is played straight & realistic and there is a fully developed adult character to empathize with.

I just cannot deal with a judgey teen throwing out, 'Is this truly your dream?' Oh shut it kid. You 'didn't ask to be born poor'? Well neither did he.

Thank goodness for step-uncle Wen.

The way that Jim can't ever make himself say there's no chance and he doesn't like Wen. But he can't allow himself to open up. The flashes to the happy days of his doomed marriage as Wen leans in yet again, causing Jim to shut him down again... The drama really makes me understand the why, even as it drives me to be increasingly deranged about it. (JUST KISSSSSS)

I really like that the script doesn't have Jim lie and claim he has no feelings for Wen etc like a lot of dramas do - he doesn't jerk Wen around at all or mislead him "for his own good'. He tries to be as up front as he's able. It's probably why as a viewer I never feel bad for Wen, like he's being mistreated. There is such kindness and consideration in the way they treat each other.

The favorite DVD is too old and doesn't work. It's a metaphor. Defeat the metaphor, babygirl! I believe in you.

They are terribly cute with the holiday decorations but Wen's messy ex drama finally culminates. This is not going to help Wen's campaign to win his dream man.

Ep 5

Man, this is scene of the cohabitating queer exes fighting about how they tried too quickly to make the transition from boyfriends to friends, because they both care but it's just giving confusing signals. Still living together is not helping. Written too believably, it's painful. When you loved someone for 5 years so you can't stop caring about them. But it's so tiring when the other person uses that caring against you.

Jim is giving babygirl the cold shoulder while nephew tries to hint that he likes this potential family member.

Noooooo i hate it when my parents are fighting. I get why Jim wants none of this messy business so idk :(

"I've always been like this. You just started not to like it." / "Why would you stay with someone who no longer loves you?" The co-habititating exes storyline still killing it. It's the tenderness beneath the bitterness.👌

Little nephew with the sweet deaf boyfriend, I get what you're saying but you let a teen who doesn't know how to ride a motorcycle.... ride a motorcycle. Which he promptly crashed and had to visit the ER. So maybe you aren't fully ready for responsibility just yet. 🤔 I'm too old for this shit, this is how Jess on Gilmore Girls made me grind my teeth.

Making me feel like

[nayeliq1]

Let Me Keep You

Rating: Explicit

Length: 10k

Pairings: Dean/Cas

Status: Complete

Summary: The one where Dean and Cas are self-sacrificing idiots, forcing them to finally use their words and admit some truths.

Read Prologue under the cut or continue on Ao3 or Wattpad

Prologue

The word was burning.

Not literally. Not yet.

Maybe it wouldn't. Not this time. Not if Cas managed to go through with this.

Of course he had known what Dean was planning. When they'd been told there was a way out of this that required nothing more than the sacrifice of a single willing life, Cas had instantly been sure what would be going through Dean's head. When he'd looked at him, it had simply confirmed what he already knew.

Of course Dean would plan to make that sacrifice. No hesitation, no questions asked.

No thoughts of himself, no thoughts of those around him. 

No selfishness, no faith that someone would miss him, would even care.

Of course, Dean hadn't told any of them that he would do it, but he didn't need to. Cas knew.

He also knew he'd rather die than let that happen. It seemed almost convenient that that was exactly what he could do - die to keep Dean from doing it himself.

The choice had been easy. It hadn't even been a choice, really. 

There had never been anything more important to Cas than Dean's life. 

He didn't tell Dean. For the same reason Dean hadn't told any of them. He knew they'd just try to talk each other out of it, claiming they should be the one making that sacrifice so the other could live.

Dean would never understand that to Cas, giving his life to save Dean wasn't a sacrifice at all. That he'd also be saving the rest of humanity in the same stroke seemed more like a convenient side-effect.

He just needed to act quicker than Dean. 

He had everything planned out in his head, the materials he'd need, the words he had to learn, the silent goodbyes he had to say.

He knew Dean would be furious with him, would rage and curse and grieve. But it didn't matter. It would be too late by then.

And Dean would live. He'd live and move on eventually. He'd forgive and forget and find peace. Maybe even happiness.

At least that was what Cas kept telling himself. 

~oOo~

Everything had gone according to plan, the candles placed in a circle throwing their flickering light on the walls of his room at the bunker, illuminating the marks that had appeared on his body as he recited the words, marking him as a soul worthy and willing to sacrifice its light for the life of many. 

He didn't linger long studying the tattoo-like markings littering his chest though -it was of no consequence anyway- simply pulling his shirt back on and buttoning it with practised, swift fingers, the cut on his palm already healed. 

The familiar weight of his trenchcoat felt comforting as it settled on his shoulders, his hand feeling in its pocket for the square shape of the mixtape, closing around it like a lifeline.

He didn't even need to check to know that his angel blade was there, ready to be of service one last time. 

He had everything he needed, just as he'd planned.

His mind was made up, his prayers spoken, his goodbye letters written and securely placed in the drawer of his bedside table.

Just as he'd planned. 

He had not planned for the door to suddenly burst open, pushed so forcefully it slammed against the wall, the rush of air blowing out some of the nearer candles and bathing the corners in darkness. 

He hadn't planned for Dean to stand in the doorway, his expression a mixture of worry, disbelief and anger.

He hadn't planned for his heart to constrict quite so painfully at the sight of those green eyes staring at him, so hurt as they took in Cas' surroundings, so desperate and accusatory as they met Cas' own.

"You did it, didn't you?"