#you dont need to come to me to defend its honor im just some guy
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The Americans blatantly not understanding the satire of your Captain and Issac art is hilarious and shows why there has to be a different show for American audiences. (Obviously it’s not every American
I know 😭 maybe I’ve become a bit more spoiled in my small circle of mutuals or had a different internet experience than most but i was actually surprised that people thought I was being genuine and hating on the show/being homophobic.
I literally almost responded to someone like “are you genuinely this up in arms over satire for a…cbs sitcom?” But realized I didn’t care all that much and also i had to go to work lol. I think people here tend to humanize their media and assume any negative feedback against it will hurt its feelings
#GUYS I ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT ENJOY GHOSTS CBS!#its very…OK!#you dont need to come to me to defend its honor im just some guy
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arc v 15-22 thoughts!!
-i forgot to say it last post, but i really really love the first op! and the ost in general is rly rly good. going to be very sad when they change the op eventually (prob around the ep 25-35 mark im guessing?) -its so funny yuya doesnt wear his school uniform at all except kinda slinging the jacket over his shoulders. all the other male students have pants that match their jacket! but fuck it hes the protag, he can wear his cargos I guess! -tbh glad shingo pointed out its unfair only yuya has pendulum cards, lol. true. (the fact yuya is upset reiji had them was bullshit! u have protag privilege! u dont even know where the cards came from! be more concerned about that!)
-shingo in general is kinda a Silly Guy and I like him more each time we see him. kinda just wanna see him and yuzu interact more too…when she yelled at him. and he still came up to tell yuya to stop eating gross infront of a 'lady'…hes a feminist king! -LMAO STRONG ISHIMA QUIT TO GO TRAIN OVERSEAS AFTER LOSING TO A 14 YR OLD. feel so bad for that guy ngl hope he comes back at some point -ok how did i not notice the xyz course student at lds has a big dipper head piece/star theme….thats SUCH a funny detail in reference to zexal? pls. not going to remember this charas name bc masumi is clearly the leader of their lil pack but I love it -very cool yuzu gets her own rival (assuming masumi will be?) and training arc moment, but also, she should already KNOW fusion! her dad! is a duel teacher! -sora being lke 'is this allowed? is this allowed?' when helping yuzu..LMAO whos boots are u licking. be an ally to yuzu and HELP her if she wants it -yuzu having a magical accessory like all the main ygo charas!! tbh shes the main character. To Me -yuyas mom having a million pets is SO CUTE. finally a protag with pets. and who is a clown. relatable. tho i dont like him rushing his mom to make pancakes or being fussy abt breakfast!! ur 14 dude just make ur own pancakes if u want some!!! good god
-the lil gang of kids that follow yuya around i am trying sooo hard not to be annoyed by them but by god are they annoying me anyway -MICHIOOOOO IS SO CUTE. FRECKLES. ALSO HE KNOWS HOW TO COOK!!! i love seeing hobbies outside of dueling in ygo lol. also his fans being housewives is like, kind of uncomfortable? his cards are cute tho, love the food theme. truly character of all time (I can already tell we'll probably never see him again RIP i hate ygo for making me attached to minor charas) -god this is so fucked up. duelists on motorcycles and xyz duelists shouldnt be fighitng they should be kissing -sora eating breakfast lunch and dinner at yuyas is so funny. freeloader king. but why did he put chocolate on sardines. what the fuck! -aaaaah yuzu not wanting to learn fusion from her dad is bc she feels like a burden to his school and feels protective over it? god her plight to get stronger and her mystery bracelet stuff IS SO much more interesting than w/e yuya's 'i have to duel 5 ppl to get in a tournament to become a pro' stuff is! shes fr the protag in my heart! -oh My God theyre putting people In The Cards. yugi grampa moment! reiji is SO chill about it like 'oh huh. ppl got sealed into cards. well, cant fix it just yet. huh. anyway. lets start working on that I Guess.' LIKE DUDE. sweet that he seems to actually care but hes SO calm -reiji's moms snake shoes fuck severely -reiji defending yuyas honor to the congressman dude is so sweet. he doesnt really KNOW yuya isnt behind any of the attacks (but like, we Know he Isnt) -…yuya admitted hes bad at science and math! a ygo protag whos bad at math!!! the duel disks must do damage calculation automatically lol, thank god for that -'yuya doesnt even know merci!!!!' boy hes not about to know mercy in this duel shut up. why would he need to know random french phrases theyre in japan arent they -ok. the whole thing nico told yuya 'its your JOB to make ppl happy as a pro, you HAVE to go beyond expectations'…feels very apt to compare this to a parasocial celeb type relationship situation. ppl always expect him to be Happy and Entertain them (and to an extent hes always playing into it…) it rly feels like a bad extension of the 'laugh when u want to cry!' emotional suppression and masking and it feels BAD man. feels like its going nowhere good! -yuzu and soras friendship is growing on me SO Much im gonna be SO mad when hes outed as a snake -masumi and yuzu moment!!!! gay asf to have a rival!!!! but god yuzu rly is being the protag for ME. she has a bff (sora) and a rival!!! dude!!! yuya ya girl is stealing the show for me!!!
- im sick of these MEN KNOCKING HER OUT OF THE WAY (LITRALLY THIS TIME) AAAH!!!! BITCH GO AWAY I WANTED TO SEE THE GIRLS DUEL!!! (syun?? ute??? these have to be mispellings of their names right. i googled them and its shun and yuto. which. yu name. 3rd protag after yuzu and yuya. better to call them this than 'emo yuya' lol) -anyway shun got punched in the stomach by yuto and CRUMBLED like a wet paper bag and yuto tossed him over his shoulder LMAO. and sora challenges him of course. HEAVEN FORBID we let yuzu duel here. christ she almost got to duel!!! we were so close!!! her bracelet seems to be just teleporting xyz boy all over the place -mieru and cathy would be besties omg her vibes! spooky lil tarot girl! (also, to enter the same tournament as yuya I assume shes at least 12-13 despite looking like. 9-10…right…since the younger kids made the comment they couldnt enter bc of their age…so her crush on yuya isnt actually So Weird right…sighs at anime always making girls look weirdly young) -BUT MIERU FOR REAL USING YGO CARDS FOR TAROT READINGS IS OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS JKDKJAHKJN OK GIRL!!! i want her to read my fortune or whatever like tell me what house my suns are in -'your future is wrapped in darkness' no shit hes a ygo protag! ofc he will go thru some shit! itll be fiiiine in the end tho girl im not worried. (she continues to hammer in the fact hes doomed and draws the tower for him LMAO)
#id watch more tonight but. i have to go to the hospital for tesssstttts tomorrow :( dont wanna. wanna stay home and watch ygo.#aaaugh#arc v#sanchoyorambles#ygo#sanchoyo liveblogs arc v
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Hagans Parties Fucking Suck
cw: alcohol, puke mention, a little bit of a tussel, pot/smoking mention, season three spoilers, tommy hagain is a piece of shit and i hate him.
Nobody understood why Tommy Hagan continued to throw ridiculous parties after he graduated. He’d always had a ‘peaked in highschool’ vibe and it was obvious he was still playing off of his popularity this summer. Its humid, it feels like your shirt is sticking to your skin. You don’t know why you’d decided to come to this fucking party, but you’re starting to regret it. Tina and Carol keep asking why you’re dating the (second) ‘Zombie Boy’ of Hawkins and you can feel your blood boil with each of their little snobby giggles. It reeks of sweat and cheap booze, and you have a headache by the time Tommy asks if his dick is fucked up like the rest of him. You’re fed up at that point, angry tears welling in your eyes as you shout at the man. Defending Billy’s honor is something you’re used to, considering he scarcely leaves the shitty apartment you two have anymore. The Starcourt fire was on the news for the four months Billy was in the hospital. He’d had reporters force him into interviews as soon as he was able to stay awake for longer than 30 minutes. You wouldnt have Tommy Fucking Hagan make it worse. HIs nose is bloody and he’s on his ass in 30 seconds flat and if BIlly were here he’d be proud. You know it was a bad idea, but you’re a little drunk and a little stoned and a lot pissed off.
Hagan calls you a whore and a freak but you can just barely here it over the rushing of blood in your ears. It’s nothing you haven’t heard before. You dump the rest of your drink on his head while he struggles to get up, and curtly walk back to the front yard. You knew this was a bad idea. You wish you’d just stayed home with Billy and watched some shitty horror.
The humidity is worse outside and your fifth drink is making you sweat. June in Hawkins certainly wasn’t California heat, but it was still hot. You watch a little toad hop across the step stones up to Tommy’s parents house, giggling a little bit, reaching out to touch it, pouting when it hop away. You’re folded over your knees and staring at the concrete when heavy boots plant themselves just in your line of sight. “Don’ wanna talk Eddie, smoked enough already.” You giggle drunkenly, hed rolling to look up at who you previously thought was your best friend. Billy is beautiful in the moonlight i you first thought. His is that you look fucked up and pretty at the same time, something he wont ever understand.
“Couldn’t have gotten blitzed at home sweetness? Had to come to fucking Hagans?” He smirks, arms crossed over his chest, covered, sadly. He rarely went without a shirt anymore, swore it was cause he still couldn’t stand the heat but you knew it was the scars. You get a little teary eyed thinking about it in your drunken state, making him frown. “Hey was’that for huh?” He mumbles around a lit cigarette, crouching down to look at you better, eyes scanning for possible injuries. You shake your head, waving a hand absently. “You’re pretty s’all, Bills. Missed you, these guys suck.” You huff, glaring back at the open front door were two girls you dont know almost drop their drinks in shock and skitter off. He chuckles softly, taking the cup from your hands and sucking on his teeth when he sees your brusied knuckles. “Whats that from baby?” He all but growls out, a thumb running over the blushy skin. You shrug, a wobbly smirk crossing your lips. “Decked Tommy Hagan cause he was bein fuckin’ RUDE.” You shout, lookig back at the house with fire in your eyes. Billy scoffs in surprise, eyes a little wide and a little hazy. “Oh didja now? Good job baby, looks like you got ‘im good. Need some ice for that hand though.” He states, trying to keep you from going back in to finish your ‘fight’. You ignore him, huffing. “Was callin’ you names n shit, pissed me off so bad Bill. You’re so good and they’re so stupid. Don’t know they should keep their fuckin’ mouths shut.” You grumble, watching him pet your hand with teary eyes. He frowns around his cigarette, nodding. “Thanks babydoll, I appreciate you standin up for me.” He’s gotten better at that, letting people help him. Love him. It took awhile but he’s getting there. “I wanna go home though, you wanna come with me?” You look up at him wide eyes, sucking on your bottom lip. “Uh huh, stupid lame ass party. Like you better anyhow.” You grumble, trying to stand up and failing. Billy chuckles at your pitiful little whine, grabbing you under the arms and pulling you up easily. Your laugh is music when you get thrown over his shoulder. “Unhand me you brute!” You say in a silly voice, patting his butt playfully, making him chuckle. “Quit that shit or I’ll drop you.” He says in a way too fond voice, putting you in the front seat of your jeep and helping you with the seatbelt. He knows in the morning you’ll be whiney and sick with a nasty hangover, but he can’t find it in him to care. He used to hate the sticky warm feeling in his chest when he looked at you but now he embraces it. Let’s his cheeks warm up and his eyes glaze over a little bit as you hum Zeppelin with the radio distractedly playing with your rings. This is home to him more than Neil’s house ever fucking had been, and he won’t trade it for the world. He’s also planning on eating you out so good you see stars as a reward for knocking Hagans lights out, but thats tomorrow. Tonight he has to make sure his baby doesn’t choke or hurl on the way home.
#billy hargrove#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove fluff#soft billy hargrove#i want him so bad#i couldve mothered him :(
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44 and 45 for writing prompts?
44) Close Your Eyes
45) Will You Marry me
Your Favorite Suprise
Warnings: fluff
Characters: Your favorite God of Mischief, Nat, Clint (brother, I know I have a weird problem ok?), Steve, Tony, Thor
Summary: you and Loki had been dating for a while now it only made since that he wants to take the next step.
Announcements: Ah yes, while I should be working on the next chapter of my series Im doing a Loki Request list...makes sense to me. I have decided to start posting a chapter a week and I have decided to start posting The chapters on Fridays. But I'll probably still be doing one shots and drabbles randomly during the week along with request. *its like really early in the morning here so if I am not making any sense i will probably post another update soon.* love you guys, thank you for the request! 💚💚💚💚
Loki Masterlist
~~~~~~
Loki had been distant all day, he wasnt in any of the normal places that he normally would have been. You had checked in the library, his room, even the lab none held signs that the god had been there all day.
"Guys, have you by any chance seen Loki?" You asked walking into the living room where your brother and Nat were wrestling, for some unknown reason, Thor and Steve sat watching.
"Tall guy, wears to much green, pointy hat?" Clint choked out from a chokehold. Sometimes you wondered if you were really the oldest with the way he acted.
"Last time I seen my brother he was heading out to the large balcony on the top floor with a rather heavy looking box." Thor called over his shoulder. "No no no Hawkman, you odviously doing it wrong. Let me show you." He said getting up walking over to the two on the floor.
"Whatever, he'll know where to find me I guess." You said jumping over the back of the couch sitting down next to Steve.
"Hey! No jumping on the furniture. I swear its like I live in a house full of kids between you and Parker jumping and flying around." Tony yelled from the kitchen door.
Steve rolled his eyes and looked at you. "Thor is trying to show them some Asguardian fighting moves. Nat picked up pretty fast, your brother on the other hand..."
"He does better in a roost high above the ground. Only reason I use to hate fighting with him is because he could climb higher than I could." You laughed.
"Ok Lord Thunder if you can do better be my guest." Clint took a step back allowing Thor to stand in. Thor gave a bellowing laugh and got in a fighting stance.
"My people invented these moves I can easily take down Nat."
After a few rounds and Thor definitly losing causing the room to howl with laughter at his confusion Loki walked in.
"So the man of mysteries returns. Where have you been darling." You asked as he came to stand beside you.
"Just working on a suprise for you my dearest." He laughed leaning down and kissing the top of your head.
"Please stop, there are young eyes in the room." Clint groaned from a recliner across from you causing you to roll your eyes.
"Yeah, if your going by shoe size." You mocked. Turning to Loki you looked at him. "What does the god of mischief have up his sleave for me?"
"Come dear, I would rather show you." He offered you his hand and you walked from the room.
He lead you to the room where the balcony was located and turned to you. "Close your eyes."
"Ummm why? You planning on pushing me off?" You laughed realizing that he had a serious look on his face. "Nevermind." You closed your eye, as soon as they were shut you felt a cloth wrap around your head. "If you wnted something like this all you had to do was ask." You smirked.
"Oh nine realms y/n. Get your mind out of the gutter for just a little bit." You couldnt see it but you knew he was rolling his eyes. "This is serious." You could hear the smile in his voice.
"Ok fine, serious, I can be serious for like 5 minutes. I cant guarantee the comments that will follow after the time is up though." You laughed.
"Sometimes I feels like I'm dating your brother." He huffed taking your hand and leading you onto the balcony.
"We are basically the same person, I just look alot better than he does in a cat suit." He let go of your hand just after walking out of the door and disappered.
"You know that mouth is one of my favorit things about you." He whispered in your ear cauing your heart to flutter. "Always quick to the punch, it never fails." He said kissing the side of your mouth.
"But my absolute favorit thing about you is your willingness to over look a persons flaws, to give everyone a chance, even if they dont deserve it. You have such an open mind forgiving everyone that you feel need forgiving. Looking for the good in a person and giving that person hope that maybe there is hope left for them." This time he brushed your hair from your neck kissing you behind the ear sending a shiver down your spine.
"Loki you was never a bad person-" you saod trying to defend him aginst hisself
"I brainwashed your brother." He countered. "You didnt just do it for me though. You stood up for Wanda, for Bucky, you stand up for the underdogs that wouldnt have a chance other wise."
"Wanda needed a family, Bucky was Steves best friend and I seen how it hurt him for eveyone to be aginst him. Also brainwashed. Im kinda seeing a pattern here though." You smiled.
"Y/n, honestly would you jusy be quiet for a few more minutes." He sighed.
"Ok, lips are sealed. Continue telling me how great I am." He sighed again pulling you closer to the middle of the balcony.
"You have been my light in the darkest tunnel I had ever been in. When the others shut me out you were always there to let me know I wasnt alone. I could travel to all nine realms and never find another soul as caring and as trust worthy as you, who holds me at night when nightmares wake me up, who actually seen good in me and who has made me a better person." You felt him reach behind you and untie the knot from the blind, you kept your eyes closed as you felt him grab your hand again this time there was a slight pull. "Darling you can open your eyes."
When you opened them you were awestruck with the sight in front of you. Farie lights had been hung from the rafters causing a warm glow around the balcony, ivy and white flowers hand been drapped on the walls givingbthe whole place a cozy feel. You looked at Loki noticing him kneeling in front of you, you opened your mouth to make a comment but quicky shut it not wanting to ruin the moment.
"Y/n Barton there is no one else I would rather travel the nine realms with but you, I would walk across time and space to see you smile. Would you please do me the honor of being my princess? My Queen? For all eternity? Will you marry me?" He pulled out a small black box for his pocket and opened it revealing a silver band entwind with a beautiful type of black metal a small emerald sat nestled between the two holding the jewel in place. Your eyes shot up to his and tears started to flow. You didnt trust you voice in that moment son you simply shook your head.
He was on his feet in no time easily slipping the band on your finger before wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you close to him. You placed your hands on either side of his face pulling him into you for a kiss. "Yes." You mumbled aginst his lips as he smiled into the kiss. "A million times yes!"
"We are going to have a wedding!" Thor yelled from the open door causing you both to jump. You looked up in time to see everyone that had been in the living room crowed around watching the two of you. "Lady y/n, a fine sister you will make!" Thor beamed picking you up into a crushing hug.
"You can have her! Ive had her as a sister long enough." Clint said beside you as he leaned down to kiss you cheek. "Congrats sis."
"You knew didnt you?" You smiled.
"Of course I did. Hes kinda old school, asked if it would be ok if he asked you. Nice guy, once you get past the whole mind control thing." You smacked his in the chest.
"In my defence you did try to shoot me woth an arrow that exploded." Loki said wrapping his arm around your waist.
"Ill take back the approval to marry my sister." He saod looking straight at him.
"No you wont, ive already said yes. Besides he really makes me happy. Truly honestly happy." You smiled looking up at Loki giving him another kiss.
~~~~~~
Tag list:
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@sophlubbwriting
@supbeeches
@high-functioning-lokipath
#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki#loki avengers#loki daily#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki x reader#loki fluff#loki x y/n#loki request#loki masterlist#mcu loki#avenger loki#loki x you#lokilaufeyson#loki one shot#loki (marvel)#loki of asgard
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its canon gwen and leon went looking for frogs at night as children right?? which means elyan obviously went with them too mhm? SO
gwen was a master at frog hunting. she got so many that the bucket she was carrying them in overflowed and the trio had to hunt them all down cuz the frogs got loose in leons house (this happened on more than one occassion, they never got caught once,,, if you forget the True Loves Kiss incident)
you must be wondering, op, whats the true loves kiss incident? well my dear child, the true loves kiss incident was when leons mother caught leon with two frogs, and no gwen and elyan with him.
leons mom: son, why do you have two frogs in your hands?
leon, age twelve: uh- mother! this is, uh... gwen and elyan! yes, theyve been turned into frogs by an evil sorcerer and i must turn them back!
leon’s mom who knows full well those are random ordinary frogs: ...and how do you plan on doing that?
leon: ,,true loves kiss?
leons mom: what.
leon proceeded to explain the lore behind the curse of the lady and the frog (or in this case, the servants and the squire) and true loves kiss and the (and more importantly how it was a planotic kiss, cuz romantic kisses are gross and cooties)
gwen and elyan were sitting in an alcove right next to them and heard the whole thing (and still tease him relentlessly about it)
gaius: it seems sir gwaine has been turned into a frog
elyan: heh hey leon why dont you give him the true loves kiss hmm
leon: i-
gwen: oh stop bullying the poor guy, elyan
leon: thank you guinevere-
gwen: it would have to be a platonic true loves kiss remember? sir leon wouldnt want to get cooties after all
leon: i hate you
leon is also pretty good at frog hunting (though not as good as gwen). he often times teamed up with elyan to get half as many frogs as gwen did. hes fallen off cliffs and basicaly died on numerous occassions while on the frog adventures, and gwen swears his heart stopped one too many times during those occassions (they eventually grew desensitised when leon would momentarily die then come back to life, often times playing a game of ‘who can find the coolest looking leaf’ while they wait for leon to rise from the dead once again)
leon is somewhat sad his friends dont seem to be concerned when he dies and comes back (ofc they are, its just that ignoring it out instead of thinking of you actually dying hurts bro), but atleast sometimes he gets to keep the coolest leaf they find as a “thanks for not dying“ gift, so hes content
elyan eats the frogs.
just fucking swallows those little slimy things whole. almost dies every time, but his 10 year old self swears it was worth it (and so does his older, knightly self, thank you very much). hes learned from leon to spit at god in the face and cheat death! (leon: elyan no- // gwen: ELYAN YES)
sometime after gwen became morganas maid, morgana started joining them to skip out on dinners with uther. elyan is quick to object since 1. shes a noble (“leon doesnt count cuz, yknow; hes leon” “hey!”) and 2. shes a girl (“gwen also doesnt count cuz shes *gags* gwen” “i will stab you, lil man”)
his objections are very quickly pushed aside when he sees morgana almost eat a bright red (and incredibly poisonous) frog like it was an apple to prove her superiority to him. (it worked, and he is forever in awe, and wants to actually see morgana eat said frog but gwen and leon were so terrified of accidentally killing the kings ward and getting beheaded that maybe, just maybe, he’d keep it to himself)
morganas a PRO at frog hunting. maybe it comes from her training with arthur and the knights (“but im literally a knight” “shut up leon let me have my moment”), or maybe its cuz shes just good at everything she does, but shes GOOD good.
when they get into pairs to play games (yes they do other things too, sometimes the frogs are just too boring) morgana and gwen would pair up and basically always win so they made a rule to not let those two pair up.
it was a tie at first cuz obviously they only have four people so itd be 2 against 2. the dealbreaker was arthur who chose leon and elyans side purely to dwindle morganas chances to spend time with her crush (“you spend time with her every day! whats some game pairing gonna do?” “im in love with her arthur! we need chemistry! bonding! teaming up and beating up whiny little idiots like you!” “whaT DID YOU JUST CALL ME-“)
arthur joined in once.... emphasis is once. elyan kept giving him dirty looks cuz hes the bloody prince and thus a major arse and at one point convinced him to eat a poisonous worm to prove his manliness (“elyan why would you attempt to assassinate the prince?!” “it was FUNNY OKAY-“), and wouldve died if it werent for the fact they were close enough to gaius’ chambers to be able to revive him.
he was basically banned from going with them ever again (“see this is why we dont go to gaius when leon dies!” “shut up and help me find a cool leaf, elyan”)
random detail: the buckets they’d use are faded green (morgana supplied with the dye- they used to be buckets with metal frog eyes and legs molded onto them (curtesy of our favourite blacksmith children of course).
they stopped going frog hunting as they got older and thus gained more responsibilities, but there were occassions where they’d go.
one of which being elyan running away. on that same night, leon downright ran to gwens house as soon as he heard (and was finished with his duties), frog buckets in his hands. on the outside it did look pretty weird cuz why is a knight of camelot carrying some tiny frog buckets, but leon doesnt care. gwen needed cheering up cuz his brother was a lil shit and hes supplying it. (“dont you have patrol today?” “its in the knights code to be loyal, gwen. im showing my loyalty to you by dragging you froghunting to cheer you up!” “...isnt it also in the knights code to be honest? how did you get out of patrol?” “....um.”)
another occassion was when arthur became crown prince (more specifically after the whole tristan du bois incident) and was basically dragged a crossbow-point to go frog hunting with them (‘them’ being leon and morgana, cuz apparently gwen and merlin had some business to attend to (much to both morgana and arthurs dismay).
sometimes, when the world feels like its caving in on them, leon and gwen like to go frog hunting together. they’d reminisce about the time morgana beat up a badger to defend gwens honor, or the time arthur (who sneaked out with them that one other time) accidentally kebab’d three different toads, or that time elyan wore gwens dress to prove it wasnt that hard to run in dresses (it was. he failed miserably and sprained his ankle)
or they’d just sit by a stream where leon died once, and mourn the members of their little group and what fate brought them.
#id just like to say that elyan arthur and morgana are froghunting together in avalon :’)#sometimes gwaine and lancelot joins them#ive had this on my mind for a LONG time#bbc merlin hc#merlin hc#merlin headcanon#prompt?#idk man#merlin prompts#bbcm#guinevere#sir leon#sir elyan#morgana pendragon#arthur pendragon#guinevere pendragon#bbc merlin#morgwen#merthur#headcanon#frogs
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the 100 diaries S3 E3
quarantine diaries: june 25 2020
season 3 episode 3: “Ye Who Enter Here”
based on this title imma just assume that this episode is gonna be hell aka Dante’s inferno
this dynamic between lexa and clarke is very beauty and the beast vibez with how clarke is give lexa ‘i wont see you’
“I can do both (hate lexa and herself) ” clarke said. We love a multi-tasker
“I want your people to become my people” ..”join me” Is lexa proposing a political marriage with clarke????
wow clarke used bellamy’s “kill me” line
clarke also said “Go float yourself”....let these kids say FUCK
Ice queen!! love matriarchy!
Yesssss Lexa you kick that guy off the ledge. this is what i like to see but also that could have really killed one of your people down below
chill kane its just a med kit. but also watch they need a med kit but kane is like noooo
i still dont like this relationship between bellamy and this girl bc who is she?? the writers really didnt put any effort into making me like her. Did you tell her how you injured your leg bellamy? Did you tell her that you got it trying to save clarke??
“There was no room at the inn” did pike just quote the Bible??
but also this reminded me of this office scene
look at the prince his fancy new clothes. lol when hes said “what you really want” my mind immediately when to spice girls
Humpy dumpy sat on a wall. side note How did bellamy sense that Octavia was sitting up there like people dont naturally turn back toward the door they just went threw but i guess bellamy can just sense octavia’s vibez
aww look at bellamy being a supportive brother to octavia
Echo???? damn is my bellamy and echo ship still on??
Who is this assassin?? Highkey dramatic with that unwrapping of his weapons.
waht? Raven can crack the code now? since when? since fucking when?
Ugh again with this girl. its not like i dont ship her and bellamy cuz it looks like she makes bellamy happy but wtf the writers didnt build up the relationship at all so it just feels false to me
While on the topic of boos what ever happened to millers boyfriend?? Like they talked about it and now...what where is he?
i find it kinda funny how this grounder assassin has like primal weapons but has this kinda modern, cheap ass watch that you can buy at target or one that you would get at mcdonald’s. it could have been such a meme if the assassin pulled out this relic instead
lowkey this grounder marketplace looks like star wars land in disneyland
Free food?! and kane gives her a patch but what good is that patch??
“Its up to the people.” we love a democracy except when majority of the population are idiots aka everyone on the ark
"aden is ready” so like do these people just base the next leader’s readiness to rule on if they’re good enough fighters?? I guess that makes sense considering how majority of the population seem to be warriors. Lexa also mentioned something about a conclave..wtf is a conclave?
look at lexa defending clarke against this baldy. damn she’s simping hard for clarke and its so obvious and yet baldy just suggested that she kill clarke.
also i cant help but laugh at the fact that when people finally meet wannheda they just see clarke. and ok sure she may do some badass stuff but come on dont tell me she doesnt look like a cinnamon roll
wait so what does bellamy’s girlfriend actually do? like is she an engineer or what??
yikes more neck deaths
“I’m not leaving my blade” neither would i octavia. also im curious on whether the grounders added the drawing of the gun when the space people came down with their guns because it seems like the space people are the only ones with guns that they would interact with (bc of the grounder lore surrounding guns and that they didnt seem buddy buddy with the mountain men)
ok clarke you pull that knife on lexa. but look at the intense eye contact damn. also that was such a dramatic knife drop. i gotta say that the background music during this was definitely a choice
also clarke can you please remove these ugly ass red hair extensions?
13th clan. huh? i dont like this. mostly because i dont like the world building and i just prefer bellamy and the rest of the spacers doing ‘whatever the hell they want’
ngl i thought that singer was clarke for a second. And i was like woah clarke can really sing?! but atlas it wasnt her. you know this made me think of all the other shows where they have that one musical episode...oh god i hope they do a musical scene later in the show. i would die happy. also did lexa really just hire a singer for this event??
How long is this assassin prepping like he’s been doing this seen the beginning of the episode?? who is his father, mother, brother, kin??
“how many floors”..”All of them” bitch if this mission were up to me everyone would be dead. but luckily its up to bellamy who always come thru
“Bear our mark.” when abby told kane that he should be chancellor it was more like i dont want to be marked so you should do it. jk also that’s not an honor that is a branding. and dont hate me but MARK-us because marcus kane. lol i dont care if you hate me that joke was for me.
Yes bellamy you crash whatever this event is but also how the hell did climb up so fast!
Are you kidding me echo? that two timing bitch ugh just when i rooting for her and bellamy she pulls this shit.
the assassin is at Mount weather?! ugh.
aww look at sinclair giving raven a pep talk
Oooo i called it Gina is dead. but the assassin really when for the abomin and not the neck..interesting choice. Why is this this assassin so much smarter than gina like he knew about that secret compartment and he had the codes also he got a tattoo with the codes. That’s some commitment!
you go sinclair. aww poor raven wabbling as fast as she can with that leg brace.this assassin must not be that good of an assassin if Sinclair can fight him off
Ofc they destroy mount weather. raven and sinclair were yeeted in that explosion
That stare that bellamy gave to Lexa and then that look between bellamy and clarke. ooo the tension is real
Also does bellamy know that this girlfriend just died or??? but i guess thats something that shouldnt be found out via radio
Who did Clarke’s makeup and hair or did she do it herself?? cuz it was definitely a bold choice. also the following image is not to mock clarke its just the most curse makeup image that ive seen and i love to share it with others
lexa bowing down to clarke...ship???
Is that Emerson??! bitch
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Pls infodump about lancelot from what i observe almost everyone hates him? (Ok its understandable bec of his affair with queen) im curious why do you like lancelot? And i remember a few days ago you post that there so many things you want to talk about him? And i want to see you rant/gush about his character, relationships, mental illness, his flaws etc ans also what is the difference between fate lancelot and lancelot in the legends? I want to know more about him he is complicated
OK its not that everyone hates him its that people hate what he stands for. the french side of arthurian lit is VERY focused on making lancelot seem like the greatest knight in the entire world because…. wow… hes french. and french people suck. stop normalizing the french. i like lancelot because of what he COULD stand for. theres a lot of things that could be delved into more (his mental illnesses, his communication issues, his inability to comprehend love, the struggle with being unholy or wrong, ect) but no one ever does. so i stole him hes mine now fuck the french they did him dirty.
uhm ok this is under a cut for talks of kinda heavy topics (lots of mental health talk, lots of abuse talk) and also cus its long. sorry i have a lot to say about him)
i like lancelot a lot cus i see myself a lot in him. mostly in his mental health and how he ends up dealing with situations. his struggle with violent mood swings and his huge burden of being labeled as a sinner or whatever for a relationship he admits to feeling trapped in is…. relateable… comforting to see in a fictional character i guess. as flawed as he is hes still heralded as a good person. hes still loved by his friends and his family. and thats nice.. i like it.
uhm for his mental health the main thing that comes out is his struggles with trauma, awful depression, and also just the fact he dissociates a lot. in knight of the cart he is so out of it he doesnt realize a knight is attacking him until hes thrown into the water in which he reacts violently and freaks the fuck out, trying to rip the guy off his horse. he like. physically can not handle extreme emotions and will either fall asleep so he doesnt have to face it (le morte says this is a known quality of him, he does this enough dinadan expects it as soon as he gets mad) or he swings so hard he has an extreme bout of depression (in the vulgate when trying to comprehend his relationship with guenevere and galehaut he just shuts down and spends all his time sleeping or staring at the river) or awful mania (see: the many times guenevere freaks out at him and he gets so upset he jumps out a window and lives in the woods). Lancelot has a lot of unworked out trauma from being r*** twice by the same woman who continues to use him and freak him out so much he cant find camelot safe (triggering another huge spike where he runs off into the woods) or the literal entire end of the legends where he has to deal with the trauma of while having one of his dissociative episodes in combat he accidentally kills gareth, someone he loves and adores like a brother or son and gets so upset he just accepts everything happening and hides in joyous gard, where his cousins have to BEG him to go and defend his honor from gawain whos basically knocking on his door pleading with lancelot to kill him.
lancelots inability to understand a lot of social nuances is also really interesting but like, ultimately leads to a lot of strife for him most namely galehauts death and gueneveres constant abuse. The thing is Lancelot basically idolizes guenevere and this is where a lot of the abuse and weird shit comes from in their relationship. lancelot was a very young knight who honestly didnt understand anything about BEING a knight when he came to court. the queen knighted him and him, being young and not understanding, took this as “i am her knight! i will do anything for her!” and guenevere just kinda ran with this? i dont rlly wanna go too into it ill do that later when i get farther in the vulgate and can talk more on it but it leads to lancelot being trapped in a relationship he admit hurts him, but the small sliver of love guenevere gives him when she needs him is enough to keep him in because his mindset is still “im her knight! this is what a knight should do for his lady!” Galehaut is a different situation where his blindness to social cues and other shit leads to a lot of drama and hellish shit and when he finally snaps and realizes “oh. oh no this is what love should be” its too late and galehaut is dead and lancelot isnt much better. his own mother has to come and convince him not to literally kill himself over this and sends him into a spiral of depression where he doesnt leave the joyous gard for months. when he does and when he comes back to court, no one really … cares? that galehaut is dead. and this is lancelots first experience with actual love and his first experience with the death of someone close to him. which is an awful double whammy to have to experience. he does have good friends like gawain and dinadan and tristan and his relationship with galahad is good but they all end up dead or turned against him by something thats he did and its just. god its so sad to watch. the only people lancelot is left with in the end are his cousins, and even at the end of all of that hes left alone with the corpses of people he thought he loved.
like hes a very flawed man. lancelot is a problem causer and not a problem solver. he doesnt try to he really doesnt, he strives to be the perfect knight mostly for some sliver of appreciation from someone he idolizes he never really ends up getting. he doesnt know how to cope, and ends up making things worse when he inevitably ends up screwing shit up because of this. hes called a sinner and unholy by god, and while he is very proud of his son for what he ends up achieving, has to deal with the trauma of the grail quest alone. he ends up killing someone he loves, and who genuinely respected and cared for him like a brother in a fit of him not being able to deal with heavy emotions. like he truly is in the wrong in most situations but like. in such a pitiable way. hes a good person, but lets his flaws overtake him a lot and pushes away the people who want the best for him. its like…. sad.
(about to talk about fate u can drop off now if u just wanted to read my arthurian lit opinions :-) )
i could go off about fate lancelot and all the problems i have with him for hours but i think the main thing i wanna talk about rn is how they handle his internalization of his life and then just did nothing with it. his wish for the grail is just to be told he was wrong. thats so fucking GOOD!! in life he was heralded as the best knight like of course his one regret was that no one ever stopped him and went “you are wrong. this is wrong. you are doing the wrong thing.” and that being all he wants out of the thing that can grant any wishes is soooooo soo cool and neat. and then they just reduced his personality to “oh boo hoo im so sad im going to fuck a married woman now” like. the fucking dissonance. like lancelot isnt the type for random flings. tristan sure i understand that a bit hes unhinged and hard to characterize and .. honestly does just go around fucking married woman. weirdo. but lancelots entire struggle is over his relationship with guenevere being both wrong morally and literally abusive! i jsut dont get it i dont understand how they built up something so interesting with zero and threw it all out the window it makes me so mad. i dont even wanna talk about fate lancelot anymore rn its giving me a headache cus im so mad.
#hes a really interesting and complex character with a lot of nuance but hes just so dumb#lancleot is the epitome of today i will cause problems on accident#hes just a mess of a man and trying to deal with taht fact but the problem is he has more power#than a man like that should have and it puts himself and others in dangerous situations#Anonymous
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I'm adding on to my soft post about older siblings and parents to clones.
a head nurse who tells a particularly stubborn clone to get back in bed. Does the Mom Voice AND counts to three and he immediately goes back to bed.
a nurse who had a few little sisters. And since mom was always a little too busy, THEY were on Hair Duty. So maybe tup is in Med Bay and hella uncomfortable and his hair is just ugh all over the place. So big brother/sister is like Braid Time! And Tup. Just. Melts. And falls asleep.
bounty hunter hired by the republic to train clones. Little did the Kaminioans know is that they had a soft spot for kids. And maybe they come across a cadet or baby clone whos upset for one reason or another and they calm him down and cuddle him and maybe do that nose stroke like in Frozen 2
ive noticed that sometimes peoples families are really different. Mine is really close knit and physical with each other, meanwhile a friend of mines is just not as touchy feely. Well maybe theres a nat-born whos really physical and you know. We all know how touch starved the clones are. So like maybe at one point the nat-born sees a clones just laying and automatically just lays across him in cat pile fashion. Not even thinking about it. And then all the Clones are like Ö can we? And the officer is like ??? Of course? Like just, cuddling bro.
an older sibling officer who sees a Clone or Jedi who's got that look. Like a look of "Im just done, I'm so tired, I just want a hug but I'm not gonna ask for it bc i have to be professional and serious" and they are like alright guess I gotta. Guess its big sibling time idk. Come here you big emotionally constipated lug lemme give you a hug, a warm drink, and a soft blanket. Im here to listen.
or or or just like. Momma Bear. Someone sees a clone being yelled at or just like bullied or whatever and they go full get the FUCK away from my baby so help me God ill rip you THREE new ones. And once again clones are like Ö you did that for us?
Like maybe in the Senate someone is like clones are just weapons they are lower than low. And senator is a parent or older sibling and sometimes. Sometimes you can tell what they are thinking by body language. Especially shinies who havent fully gotten a hold of like hiding emotions. Senator sees that and like anger fills them. How dare you. How dare you.
A civilian sees a couple clones playing a their younger siblings or kids and its like well guess i gained a few new fully adult and armed kids/guess I have new siblings idk.
OR I saw someone sent in an ask to () about Pet Foolery and about Pixie and Brutus. And how Brutus was like Wolffe. And its. Like. What if. Wolf Pack gets a little stowaway or plo gets a new itty bitty padawan, a lost kid or you know SOMETHING. Kid becomes legit attached to Wolffe and the rest of the Pack and they get just as attached to them. Start calling them their "pup". Kids like !!! Look! Look at this cool rock! And these adult men are all like ÖÖÖ Cool Rock! Cool! Or plo brings them sweets and they are like ÖöÖÖ candies? I jus I love it. Or maybe conversely the Wolf Pack is like ugh its a brat but the kids either like FUCK you we are friends now or is too starry eyed at these huge guys to realize they dont like them. And maybe a whole "you mean you dont like me?" Scene happens like in Finding Nemo where baby gets upset and as SOON as tears start welling up theres 300 Clones Arming up to defend them and scare whoever doesnt like the babychild. Babychild falls asleep ON them and they cant move jus UGH so cute.
little kid goes to wrecker and says "I love you THIS much" and stretch their arms as wide as they possibly can and wrecker is like Ö and does the same and the kids like thats alot! And wreckers like Yeah!
kid gravitating to clones who Dont Like Kids. Bc kids are Like That. Like Cats.
kids, younglings, or padawans drawing pictures for the Corosaunt Guard or other clones and giving it to them. Them keeping Every. Single. One. And putting them all over their barracks.
Some pictures that were drawn specifically for THAT individual clone are kept with them even in battle. Like maybe one youngling in the creche was enamored by Cody when Obi Wan came to visit and was nice. Next time the kid saw him they gave him a picture of the two of them with the word friends spelt wrong under neath the two smiling figures and legend says Cody still has it to this day.
kids giggling and playing with the clones helmets, running around pretending to be them. Or making their own "armor" from cardboard or scrap pieces.
one really feisty kid having NO problem telling someone off for being rude, doesnt matter who it is. One time Anakin got snippy and kiddo walks up and says with all seriousness and courage "Youre Mean and a Bully". Ahsoka thought it was hilarious, Rex was honored by his courageous knight in shining robes and tiny pigtails.
Older siblings not really forcing the clones to accept their help but still like "Hey I'm big sister/brother and you gotta deal with it, I'm here if you need me" like if they see they have something on their faces and dont know the older sibling will wipe it off with mass protest. Coordinating with older clones to harmlessly embarrass younger clones. Or to get them to calm down.
I cant write for shit but im gonna have to try bc I gots some ideas. Ive got mostly fluffy soft domestic stuff but still 👀👀👀
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Character Development Questions: Hard Mode-- BOG!!!! Al
ALL? is that what this is supposed to say. bc im gonna do All
Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with? He’s an only child! Maybe a few cousins his age, he probably was close with them before he went away!
What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? Good, his moms really supported him to the point where he couldn’t do anything wrong in their eyes. Mom #1 was raised in a temple of Ioun, and is a half orc half elf. She works in the temple she and Bog’s other mom founded and tried to teach him to become a cleric like her, but once he voiced his desire to pursure the arcane she was happy to support that
What is/was your character’s relationship with their father mother #2 like? Mom #2 was less ready to support the arcane, having converted to worshiping Ioun after meeting mom #1 and never really having a knack for magic. Both Bog’s moms see him as the perfect blessing he was intended to be and dont see any faults in him, and though they are hurt by his leaving they trust in their god and in him that it will be ok (not that he’s had contact with them to know that...)
Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? YEs! He first stumbled upon magic when he started to just be able to Do Things, but there was a wizard to came to his town when he was a child and showed the kids magic tricks, and Bog came up to him one day and basically said “i can do that too! my mom doesnt know this bc im scared to tell her but here let me show you” and this like, seven year old half orc kid does some medium level spell and the Wizard was just like. damn we gotta teach u.
On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? Uhh, not much tbh? maybe some jerkey, a rag for sweat/cleaning things off, whatever coin he has on him? But he always has his drum on a sling over his shoulder, his flute on a chain around his neck, and in a trunk on the lower deck he has his spellbooks and Violin!
Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? haahhhh he gets periodic visions from Ioun being like,,,, hello my Blessing hows the Doing God’s Work going?? oh youre still on a pirate ship in the middle of the ocean? thats chill like ur moms i think you are Perfect and fully believe you will get back to it eventually, go find some new Knowledge and fill up that brain of yours thanks ok bye
Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? He doesn’t really get them I think? hes a happy guy
Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? Do guns exist anna???
Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? UHH hes a pirate now so. probably less consistent access to money ? he wasn’t rich at all like, medium middle class at best, but now its probably a lot more sporadic access to like , a lot more money
Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? Uhh he wears the same thing like all the time just loose shirt and flowy pants and drum. if he doesnt have his drum he might as well be naked. But he probably hates having to dress in fancy clothes/layers bc Tactile Bad
In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? Uh he’s pretty Freaked Out now tbh, but probably the first storm they had at sea, or the night before he left Bard School
In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? Hmmm, thats tough idk? Every time he plays music for a group of people and they chime in/dance/just pay attention he feels p calm and good
Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? Not really, he doesn’t like seeing people hurt but he isnt grossed out by it
Does your character remember names or faces easier? Names, they get confused when people change their hair or outfit rip
Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? They arent usually, but since being a pirate he kinda,,, goes along w it and has the mentality of “this is nice!” but its not rlly his end all
Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? Happiness
What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? Hmmm, probably drums
Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Wisdom
What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? They get crushes rlly easily and then get distant if the feelings arent returned bc they dont wanna talk about Hard Emotions bc they never...had too
In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism? They don’t compare themselves to others past like, oh they have more x than me and i wish i had more of that? More jealousy than him actually putting value to differences
If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? Uhh nothing rlly, tragic happened but his whole thing is he has a destiny he doesnt feel like he earned and is running from it but also feels Immense guilt for doing that so, lots of self blame in this buddy
What does your character like in other people? They like people with passion for something
What does your character dislike in other people? Uhhh being rude to others (like more than a joke, when its obviously upseting them)
How quick is your character to trust someone else? Fairly quick, he needs more friends
How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? Uhh idk tbh?
How does your character behave around children? He’s great with them for short periods but once he’s run out of little songs to play/sing and funny jokes he. gets anxious and gets out of there.
How does your character normally deal with confrontation? If its an authority figure? ANXIOUS! if its someone he sees as an equal / he has power over, hes more level headed
How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Uhh hes weak and slow so, p slow. even spell wise hes more about protecting his friends than damage
What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? He’s pretty much always wanted to study magic and be a bard. maybe early early five yr old Bog dreamed of working at the temple
What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? Uhh, standard icky stuff like x-phobias
Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. Playing for an Audience
Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. Talking about feelings, especially ~romance~
In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? A mix of willing to improve and self-deprecating, depending on whos doing the criticism
Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? They move from solution to solution pretty fast, they arent super patient
How does your character behave around people they like? Trying to impress them and also not look dumb
How does your character behave around people they dislike? Glare glare glare
Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Honor ig?
Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? Remove the problem
Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? Uhh probably not? hes good w animals
How does your character treat people in service jobs? As well as he can!!
Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? EARN EARN EARN
Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? Hmm, not really?
Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? nah
How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? They say it really quickly and usually mean it, they just get close to people fast
What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? He’s pretty sure if he manages not to Fuck it Up he’ll go to Ioun’s realm or whatever, but hes not sure hes gonna,,, not fuck it up,,, or that he even wants that? death scares him so he just doesnt think about it if he can manage
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Defend
defense (n.)
1300, "action of guarding or shielding from attack or injury; act of defending by fighting; a fortified place of refuge," from Old French defense, from Latin defensus, past participle of defendere "ward off, protect" (see defend).
as long as possible
To read this coverage, a quarterback should recognize the free safety moving toward the line of scrimmage. A defense will try to hide this for as long as possible, not wanting to tip off the open deep-middle or where the blitz could be coming from
Defend depend de fend def end
Writing the word defend defense defensive
To defend myself because it would be live or death moment comes up like i need ot defend my honor ive been seen as something and that i could actually be that way or not but I would want to be defense to wards a person because I couldn’t lose or look bad to them i dont want anyone to see how i see myself if they see how i see me they will know im not good i see i need ot hind me from what im might call people any people really friend or fo that im not that good bright dim lazy slow so i will defend myself to keep me believing that its ok your not going to be broken here you can make this go away just keep thinking what to say and you ll be good.
How i get defensive easily as a kid i would very easily get hurt by remarks and my parents would show me how Pathetic this was like stop it your being stupid and this made me even more defensive now and i had to protect my honor ever more so the more they said look at you i went in being more defensive and would look at them for hurting me more and hating them for nut understanding me not loving me and the hurt I felt
Reading the words
A country at war and they have to defend the people from the enemy’s which ironically is the banks only no real enemy a made up one by the banks and by hte news papers so we live in separation to each other so we hate each other like we hate ourselves we have nothing to defend as we are one.
I would want to defend my brother when he would get into a fight id stand in front of the other person and say you have to hit me first i was in fear and my brother would be so angry with me but one day after id put some weight on a guy that was wanting to fight my brother said out i dont care i will you fat ugly tart/slag something like that and it hurt me i felt ugly because he told me what id thought since putting on this weight and i was hurt just bu words and i still carry anger towards this person i saw him years later he didnt have a clue who i was but I remember looking at him and thinking i hate you.
Defense like within football you play defense not sure where that is but i think its like netball
How ive lived pride well my ego with being defensive how i dont let my guard down just in case someone slips in a bad comment that makes feel unstable about myself i see ive but my ego in guard of al things like this so i dont hurt myself ive puffed my chest up my barrier i thought this will save me but it hasn’t its hurt me because i never saw it was just al fronts not to deal with my emotions not to deal with how i felt about myself as i see now if i loved my self so deeply then nothing from no one else could possibly hurt me because id truly believe that i have no problems to hide from the world i am hole one as them and they dont see it but i do.
When someone get defensive hurt and how you feel like get the fuck over it come on god your overly sensitive or what your a big baby get a hole of your self how it’s annoying when someone is like that i feel agitated inside like i want o control them t stop an di dont like the way it makes me feel them being like that i feel i need ot put them down to feel better about myself its like this hidden war.
Saying defend defense defensive out loud
Playing sports and you have to defend thoughts of being at school in sorts and having to defend the goal
Seeing someone defensive upset angry and it making me feel the same towards them like it bring up within me the same as them i feed of there energy to create my own anger defensive thoughts feelings and actions and the fight begins and i see my honor come up like ive got to win at all costs because losing its an option and i will bite till the bitter end.
Sf
Does this definition support me no it has all sorts of fears hey mostly my ego fear of war and not understanding how i felt when being defensive to when my girls did the same being defensive i see realize and understand i didnt word it out within myself if i had i would of been far more respectful towards them.
Defend de pend
Defend
Is to see what you want to defend is it worth defending is it your honor or is it your ego
To defend the planet from and all its occupants from no more harm
I will live this word with self investigation into what am i really defending when i defend is it right or is it ego within me that im fighting for living words of self love self perfection
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5.2.17
so apparently my school does this program where kids can head out into the woods for a weekend every once in a while and just… talk it out i guess. that was this past weekend, Ma (not my mom, a friend) told me to go. my old history teacher had been plugging for the trip for years, but id never actually gone. never thought id be able to explain wanting to go have a feelings jam with a buncha other kids in the woods to my dad. i didnt really until i came back and recapped a little (honoring the agreement i signed before going to not share anyones story from the trip).
on the one hand, i feel so fucking healthy!!! i feel like i have subsisted for the past year off of nothing but avocado smoothies and kale juice and like i have been doing yoga for 85 hours a day and like i finally met a person or two who i can actually speak my mind to and get more than just a “sure dude.” like, good lord does this feel good
i mean, thats what i told Ge and Di and i genuinely believe it. (both Di and i knew basically nobody other than eachother and we were alone in a sea of strangers for the first few hours.)
dont get me wrong, i feel lots better. i got a lot off of my chest. but there was also a lot left unsaid on my part. out of all the people there (about 90) there were two others who shared that they were genderqueer (and there were only like two other people who brought up the topic at all). one of them i had some p bad experiences with in middle school. the other was a student leader and facilitator of the trip, so Re (the leader) didnt really have a lot of time to talk, and in the discussions Re was mostly asking questions and… well, facilitating. plus, gender came up like once. and Re was not there.
but i was! it was nice to talk a little. i was in a meeting with the school principal about installing gender neutral bathrooms at the school a week or two ago and i talked about that with them, and i told them that being genderqueer goes waywaywayway back and lots of other stuff, i guess. but i didnt say anything about my experiences with being genderqueer, really.
and damn did i want to! idk if yall have picked up on this yet (all none of you) but talking to people about my shit is just so healing for me. thats why i have a public journal! like, talking to equals and feeling heard. i could tell my mom or the school therapist (and i do, often) about my shit and its cool, theyre supportive and shit, but since i started this class ive had no time to keep up old friendships that were based around hanging out. like, were still friends i guess, but… playing minigolf over text is just not the same, man.
there was this thing last night where from like, right after dinner until about 3 in the morning, we talked. people had seven minutes that they could use however they wanted in front of the whole group, and it was just their job to listen. and let me tell you, id been crafting my seven minutes for like, three hours before my name came up. the thing is, i planned like twenty minutes of monologue. i talked about a bunch of the family stuff ive got and that was real cathartic. i also got to talk about my struggles with depression, which was a real common topic. but… ive been thinking about the possibility of myself being a trans girl really, really hard over the past couple of months, and i still havent shared that other than with the people whove read this journal.
which is nobody, other than a couple people browsing tags when i talked about moana a little while ago. i havent told that many people i write this, but. i kinda trusted those who i did to read it i guess.
i dunno. i think im most afraid that im not going to have any healthy girl friendships. i see all these women and girls and they have such supportive relationships with eachother. i see it every day. holy shit, if you havent seen the rage and passion with which girls defend their true friends… Hoo Boy.
and im so worried i wont have that! like. i love being agender, and it’s wonderful to have the ability and the knowledge and the acceptance to be an out nonbinary person and not really have so many problems stemming from that in my life. but i have this fear that that ill be in this purgatory of a questioning period for just long enough that when i finally make up my goddamn mind and trust my conviction enough to come out as a trans girl ill have lost the opportunity to have these wonderful, girl-to-girl relationships. as an agender person i feel like so much of an intruder in these female spaces.
Like, Ha (who I met on the trip) was so wonderful and badass, especially considering the amount of shit shes had to go through. jimminy christmas, shes fucking strong. i try not to gender people here but when the topic is gender itself that kind of context feels crucial… but anyways. she came and sat with me when i was eating lunch alone in the corner and brought a couple other girls and. i mean, some of the body language of the others kind of told me they werent super interested in me being there but… it felt… so good. just to be in a female space, just to be included there for the most part, without cis guys around that i would get lumped with.
but then i think i had a panic attack like, near to immediately after that, because i felt like i was making them incredibly uncomfortable by being an intruder in their female space. and when my female friends were having a hard time during the trip (as often happened) i felt like it wasnt my place to comfort them and that as a natal male i would just make them more uncomfortable and they would doubt their friendship with me because so many guys just take advantage of women when they’re at their lowest emotional state and that’s the last thing i want to be seen as and i tried to hug a few women who were having a really hard time over the course of the trip but i just got this churning in my stomach because i might make it worse if i make them think i just want to hug them so i can feel them aginst my stupid fucking body and if i keep writing this sentence then im going to have another panic attack
i dont know what to do. i dont know who to talk to because despite the number of people who said i could come to them this weekend, nobody else talked about gender shit, and those genderqueer people who i do know have just told me to look into my heart and shit, which doesnt help because thats what ive been trying to do. i feel like i cant talk to women because to them ill just be another guy who’s venting because he feels like he can dump all his emotional shit on the closest woman (especially women i just met on the trip, i couldnt ask them to spend however long it takes out of their day to read this when i just met them). i feel like i cant talk to men because if theyre not transphobic to begin with, they either refuse to talk about emotional shit, or can neither relate to feeling like they wont have any healthy girl-to-girl friendships nor realte to being genderqueer. i know im going to send this little essay to somebody soon because i just need to hear at least one other persons thoughts but i dont know who its going to be
and on top of all of that i keep getting these stomach aches at mealtimes and no other time of day and i dont know if it was the confessions from people with eating disorders or something else but my stomach aches and then i dont eat and then it aches because im hungry until the next meal when it aches again and i cant eat and when youre choosing between not eating or eating and feeling like you want to throw up, do you have an eating disorder already? i dont know anything thats going on with my body and im depressed and i feel so ashamed because there were so many people who had stories that felt so much more real than just a pronoun and a stomach ache and they spent their seven minutes with what seemed like no regrets about not having shared things and here i am writing a fucking dissertation pity paper about myself because i feel like it wasnt enough time to talk about my dumb fucking problems even though what i have aint shit and if i fall into the spiral of ands i legitimately will have a worse panic attack and i dont know who i can comfortably ask to do the fucking weightlifting championship level shit that is required to do the emotional heavy lifting and read bullshit im putting on the page without feeling like im inconveniencing them to the nth degree
so i guess thats where im at
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August 26: I run home from class, barge into his dorm. no one there. I'll wait. he goes to bed. I sit up talking to a new boy. I tell him I'm in love. I must be if I'm smiling so wide. August 27: I get rejected. HOW?????!!!!?? IT'S ME. I shrug it off. the other boy asks me to stop by. I run over, throwing my legs around him and kissing him as a greeting. August 28: BOOL. we get super drunk. Everyone leaves except for me and a friend. We dance alone in my room. I wake up next to him. what the fuck August 29: not booling tonight. Wasn't invited. it's cool though, just a guys night. I sit and wait for them to come back. impatiently. They come back and BAM im off and running to their room. They got an MIP and I run after the RAs to defend their honor. They'll listen to me, it's fucking me. September 30: Shots with cops. not what you think. cooler than that. I send my family the picture of me cuffed against the cop car. October 1: I notice the new boy in the study room. I run in, confidence is key confidence is key. YES he brings me to his room. YES clothes OFF. in bed. FUCK. literally. it's good but im bored. ugh I want MORE. he finishes. I don't. I leave his room. I look across the hall, staring the other boy's door in the face. I smirk, no hesitation. I go into his room. he's laying in the dark. I lay down, he knows it's me. We go into the bathroom, his roommate can't know. He finishes the job. I go back to my room and do it to myself AGAIN. ugh I LOVE THIS FEELING. October 2: what the fuck did I just do. what a goddamn whore I realize I am. I stay in my room for the day, I dont want anyone seeing my face. im hungry, I eat. fuck I can't stop. I eat a panini. as I eat the panini I order Thai. I want some fucking fried rice. I get drunk. where's the vape? fuck everyone's going to sleep. I sit outside my door. why? In some amount of time I am sprawled out, I had moved to be facing south because that's the direction I was facing when I was raped nine months ago and the memory is starting to fade and for some reason im trying to remember. Now im standing outside. its pouring rain and 3:00 am. A boy comes running at me. I jump. "sorry!" he says. he stops running, looks back. "Are you ok?" "yeah" "just waiting for someone?" "yeah" he goes inside. I walk to the side of the building, Im not done feeling the water on my skin and I dont want to run into him again in the halls. I make it back. im soaked. I fall asleep some time later. October 3: I can't do it. class? fuck. im not going. I gotta go. I get up. I haven't showered in 2 days. fuck it. I go to class. the board is blurry. I could so easily fall asleep. I go back to my room. I dont know what Im doing. the day goes on. I could cry. I need to study. I study for an hour? no 10 minutes. fuck I need sleep. I need a nap. I can't fucking fall asleep. I masturbate. ah i can sleep. I wake up, fuck I have class. I jump out, grab some coffee, and go. still. so. drained. I come back. im hungry. why are my friends trying to talk to me. can't they see I wanna die. I order a pizza and lock myself in my room. I eat the whole thing. I go talk to my friends for a minute, hit the vape, the second they go to sleep the void comes back. I wish I could sleep. I go downstairs, fuck I should go back up, its late. I could take some NyQuil, that'll help. I sit outside my door for 10 minutes? no an hour. fuck when will this cycle end.
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Im unemployed and need health insurance, whats the best way to NOT get MediCal?
"Im unemployed and need health insurance, whats the best way to NOT get MediCal?
Im unemployed and need health insurance, whats the best way to NOT get MediCal?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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I live in philadelphia with my mom, and I live with my dad in quakertown on most weekends. Even though my permit is registered under my mom's address, can I go on my dad's car insurance since it's way cheaper? I mean I do live with him part time, just as I live with my mom part time. I'm 18.""
Will my insurance premium increase with no fault accidents?
I met with two accidents in the last 3 mths. Both were ones where the cars hits me at the rear end of my car so it wasnt my fault at all. Both accidents were reported to my insurance company (geico). I have never had any accidents before not have i had any tickets or violations before. I have been with geico for almost four years now. Will my premium go up on renewal? I have also heard that even if my premium may not increase, it will not even decrease upon renewal as it would have otherwise. Is this true? If yes, Is there anything I can do to prevent this?""
Did you know about a lost payee on your car insurance?
THE BANK CHARGED US A EXTRA $100 ON OUR CAR NOTE WITHOUT US KNOWING THEY SAY THEY SENT US A NOTICE BUT AT OUR OLD ADDRESS.NOW WE OWN THEM ABOUT $1200 WE READ OUR CONTRACT THEY CAN DO THIS WE HAVE TO SEND THE MONEY AND PUT THEM AS THE PAYEE ON THE INSURANCE FINE.WE DID THAT BUT THE PERSON AT THE BANK IS REAL NASTY TO MY WIFE THE EVEN THREATEN TO REPEO THE CAR IF WE DONT PAY THEY SAY WERE RE LIKE THREE MONTHS BEHIND DONE TO $100 DOLLOR FEE THEY WILL REFUND THE MONEY WHEN THEY ARE PUT ON THE INSURANCE AS THELOS-T PAYEE THEY WONT EVEN LET HER SPEAK TO A SUPERVISOR HAVE ANY BODY ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM.
Nicotine/cotinine test for life insurance?
I haven't smoke for 5 weeks. In about 2 weeks I might have to take a nicotine/cotinine test to get life insurance. Will I be able to pass the test for life insurance.
Is there some affordable health insurance plan in the U.S. that doesnt have a huge deductible?
Is there some affordable health insurance plan in the U.S. that doesnt have a huge deductible?
Teens: how much is your car insurance a month?
Teens: how much is your car insurance a month?
Average docter visit cost in oradell nj w/o insurance?
does anyone know average docter visit cost in oradell nj w/o insurance?
Do I need to change my Car Insurance? What do i need to do?
I am a foreign student in United States. I stayed at California for 2 years. Now, I moved to Indiana State. I have a car Insurance with California address. My License plate is still California's. Do I need to do anything with my insurance? When I tried to do a trial quote for changing address at Geico, the quote for new address is almost 2 times more expensive than the old one. I don't know what to do. I believe Indiana Auto insurance must be cheaper than that of California. Should I just cancel it and start a new one? Do I still need to do anything with DMV?""
Auto Insurance discount along with online traffic school course?
I got a traffic ticket, want to remove it. I heard some where that online traffic school course offers auto insurance discount along with traffic ticket dismissal. Can any one suggest me the source where I can get information on this?""
If I don't own a home should I buy the cheapest insurance coverage?
I'm a student living at home, with no property of my own. Which insurance coverage would suit me best, the lowest 25,000/50,000 or a higher amount?""
Insurance cost for new biker?
Hi I would like to ask people in my group of age (24 yrs old) how much would I have to pay for insurance, just passed my CBT and I'm looking for 125cc Cruiser, didn't find anything yet, but I'm trying to calculate the costs. I've checked few insurance sites and made quotes, but still confused.""
Florida car insurance hike?
I used to have Florida auto insurance about 6 months ago. Since then I moved but wanted to return to FL. Recent inquiry for an auto quote I notice the premium has increased doubled in FL. When did this happen? And what actually happened? Just curious. Thanks.
Does MY CAR INSURANCE cover!?!?
I crashed my friends car. She has liability on her car so now she is screwed with a beat up car. I have full coverage on my car, now would I be able to use my insurance to cover her vehicle that I crashed?""
How much will an average full coverage insurance for a BMW motorcycle cost. Type k1200r.?
I have no traffic violation and perfect credit record. I am 56 years old.
Help with Car insurance?
My mom pays for my car insurance. I pretty much moved out, and I'm living at my boyfriends house. (we have been together 3 years, not the point here though). I want to get my car insurance in my own name, going towards the point of being independent and taking care of myself. Problem is, everyone I confront my mother about it she's either too drunk or just avoids the topic. Is it possible to switch my car insurance brands without having her approval?""
Are insurance companies allowed to take skin colour into consideration when working out a cost?
If it is found that black people make more claims can the use this
Would my insurance rate go up on a car with more features?
I'm buying a car today and I already have the insuance and can leave with the car today once I give a down payment. However, the car dealer and I were speaking on the phone and he told me he can give me the same car and year but with more features like a Nav Panel on the dashboard and bluetooth and a couple of other smaller details like USB ports. Now my question would be, with these new features that don't exactly change much from the car I was originally getting, would this make my insurance go up?""
How Much Would It Cost to insure a Lancer Evo?
How Much Would It Cost to insure a Lancer Evo?
I don't understand this insurance?
I wanted to get insurance for my motorcycle and I used gocompare for some quotes, there's one that says; 1,267.62 Instalments Deposit: 128.76 Monthly: 9 x 150.94 Total: 1,487.22 Voluntary : 0 Compulsory : 0 Total : 0 Why does it come to 1,487.22 when the price is 1,267.62? What is a deposit? I thought its when I put money in which includes the price of the insurance and comes out of the final price? I don;t get it back or what? help me plz""
Is insurance more expensive for a 07 civic si sedan or an 07 civic ex coupe?
Full cover insurance,I live in california, im 18, no tickets, no accidents. I know insurance is higher for 2 door cars but the civic si Is faster and more expensive.""
Insurance company won't let me upgrade to Fully Comp. Why not?
Hey Guys, I'm a new driver (23 yo) who has a 3rd party fire & theft policy under Kwik Fit Insurance. I went for this policy pretty much because it was the cheapest because I'd spent all my money on the car, haha! After a couple of months I've finally managed to sort my finances out and I'm ready to upgrade to fully comp. I drive around 30 miles a day to work and back and would just like that little extra knowledge that incase anything does happen. So I email KwikFit (who take 2 weeks to get back!!) to ask them what the deal is. How do I do this? To my dismay, I got the following email back: In response to your email, I can confirm that your policy can only be upgraded if you are making another permanent change to your policy eg a change of vehicle/address/driver, alternatively your policy would need to be replaced to another insurer. Are they within their rights to do this? Surely upgrading to fully comp means an extra wad of money from me monthly? Thanks :-)""
Does my employer provide good health insurance? ?
Here's a description of the health insurance my employer provides to employees. It costs $50 per month to have, and the co-pay for each doctor visit is $40. This seems really weak to me. Am I right? Should I look around for a new job? What's the typical average going rate? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you!""
Im unemployed and need health insurance, whats the best way to NOT get MediCal?
Im unemployed and need health insurance, whats the best way to NOT get MediCal?
Short term insurance company's for 9 points +?
Hi i dont live in the uk and use my car for 3-5 days every 6 weeks when im there, i did have ecar insurance for 1 month when i was there for the summer, now that i want just 3-5 days insurance they wont quote me, ive tryed tempcover and they are no good !! all the ones ive come across wont insure me because i have 9 points.. witch is typical as they say they can insure up to 8 points... so my question to you is this do you know of any short term 3-5 day car insurance comapany's that take drivers with 9 points? its stupid that 1 or 2 mistakes leads down this poor road :P""
""If my friend owns a car, can I have full insurance on it?""
If my friend owns a car and I am making payments to him to eventually own it, is there a way that it can be fully insured in my name?""
I live in up state newyork need some help with finding some affordable health insurance.?
I live in up state newyork need some help with finding some affordable health insurance.?
Where is the most cost effective auto insurance for male under 21?
I have been getting quotes online from a few places geico, esurance, and others and they are VERY expensive around 315-400 a month plus around $1000 down. I have no accidents or ...show more""
The cheapest car insurance for first time drivers?
looking to get my own car soon and trying to my license I am 24 yrs old and just starting to figure stuff out for myself and wanted to know whats the cheapest car insurance
Which car in Canada has the lowest insurance rate?
I'm not talking about new cars btw, I'm talking about the old cars from 95-2002 the shitbox cars, I'm a student and I plan on getting my first car with my first insurance so I need to know what's a good starter/shitbox car with the lowest insurance costs. Thanks""
Does your car insurance premium change?
Hi, Im 16 turning 17 and im getting my license in 9 days. Someone told my family that if we take a crap car like my 2002 honda accord to my test and use that to get our insurance, then the price of insurance on that car will be what we will pay for any other car for the rest of my teenage life. If i were to take the honda to the test, get the insurance, and say lease a newer car, will my insuracne cost stay the same as what we were charged for the honda? Sorry its long and confusing""
How much does it cost in America for Pay Per Mile Insurance?
I was curious about the Pay Per Mile Insurance and how is the pricing in America? Let's say I havent had any accidents and I want to get a car for me and I wanted to know how much per mile costs for insurance or if I were going to drive 1,000 miles a month how much will it cost and is there a contract?""
""How much do you think will be the house insurance with 11,000 sqf land and 1,700 sq ft 3 bed 2b in California?
I need answer with resource. Thanks
Does anyone know of cheap car insurance for convicted drivers?
Does anyone know of cheap car insurance for convicted drivers?
In Texas are you required to inform your medical insurance company when you are in a car accident?
My girlfriend was in a car accident last year and her insurance company is not paying her physical therapy bills because she did not inform them at the time of the accident.
Age Of 16 to fill up a car insurance quote?
why car insurance agent put 16 on car insurance quote even you got your license when you were 18...?
I broke my phone will my insurance cover it?
i threw my phone t-mobile sidekick lx and the screen broke will my insurance cover it?
Can insurance brokers be trusted?
I am getting my first car insured and am thinking about going through an insurance broker because of the cheap price....
Car insurance to help disabled grandparents?
My grandfather is ill in hospital and my nan is finding it difficult to drive to the hospital and back on a daily basis. Aunt has MS so she cares for her too, thus I was wondering if anyone knows of a type of car insurance that will enable me to help out with their daily living. I obviously know that standard insurance would work, but I'm a 21 yo male and don't have the funds to get full independent insurance. Thanks for any help.""
Best Health insurance for a young mom and college student?
I'm looking to find a health insurance suitable for me, a young mother (20) and college student. I did have Medicaid but they're saying I make too much and I'm only allowed to make 188 a month.. O_0 So I decided to just stop wasting my time and invest into my own insurance. My fiance said maybe I can get on his after we get married but Idk about that. What are some good affordable Health insurance for someone like me?""
""Insurance says case is closed, is it really?""
A little over a year ago, I was in a car wreck and due to financial responsibility laws I had to pay for the accident. (I had no insurance, of course, I've learned this lesson) Recently they've filed suit against me for more money that they didn't receive from the insurance company. I can't afford an attorney and was about to hire a bankruptcy lawyer for all of this, but I recently found out from the insurance company that the case is closed. It's also been over a year as of a couple days ago and due to Tennessee's Statute of Limitations they can't claim any more money. So my question, the insurance company says it's closed and even said the attorney settling with them has closed the case. I call the opposing attorney myself and of course they say they can't discuss the case with me, even though I'm just asking if the case still actually exists. They wont' give me a court date either so naturally, I'm a bit suspicious. Should I be ready to put this behind me, or do law offices do this sort of thing all the time? They were recently paid out $10,000 from the insurance company I'm making payments to. I really don't see where else they could find money given my situation. All answers are appreciated, thank you!""
What doctors or insurance that accepts MEDI-CAL CARE IN CALIFORNIA?
I LIVE IN SF IN THE BAY AREA, ANY DOCTORS OR INSURANCE THAT CAN TAKE THIS?""
Car insurance in differnt states ?
My grandmother lives in new Hampshire and there you do not need any insurance on your car , but in Connecticut by law you have to have it, so I was wondering if she comes to see us would she have to put insurance on her car to leave her state??""
Does comprehensive insurance cover damage to my car if i wasnt driving the car?
My friend(who is not listed as a driver under my insurance) was driving my car when the passenger front tire fell off.There was damage to the right front of the car.Will my comprehensive insurance cover my claim.
How much is your car insurance? Do u have full coverage? What company do u have?
What state u live in? Do u also have Roadside assistance?
Can i put insurance on a old mobile home ?
I have a 84' model mobile home but i paid to have it remodeled so it's very nice on the inside. Well i want to rent it out so i want to put insurance on it in case a fire or etc. happens to it while it's being rented out . But can i put insurance on a mobile home that old ? and can i put as much as i want or does the insurance only cover how much it's worth ?
""I am 66 years old, can I get health insurance??? how about medicare???} how dan I proceed?""
I am 66 years old, can I get health insurance??? how about medicare???} how dan I proceed?""
Where can a marijuana smoker get affordable life assurance?
it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times. if they ask for health records then you will be in a higher quote, but also when they ask you question on health and you answer honestly it will help you in the long run because then you will be covered for the need of that disability since your health assurance new you can since you are a smoker. but it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times.""
Question on car insurance?
i have progressive and i was wondering if i would be able to swtich my insurance from one car to a different one. my current car got its sub frame pretty bent up and theres no fixing it. so im looking for a diff car. so when i do get my other car. will i be able to switch my insurance over to the new one?
Im unemployed and need health insurance, whats the best way to NOT get MediCal?
Im unemployed and need health insurance, whats the best way to NOT get MediCal?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/milton-kansas-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-67106-lucile-huey/"
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