#you don't understand how long it took to edit some of these text so the little hook was facing the correct way

[korshrimpski]

NHLers as text (plus one)

[luvkyu]

babygirl ( kim mingyu ) part two

synopsis : it's been a while since you and mingyu made it official. now, he's eager to take a new step with you.

content : 4.8k words, male reader, fluff/smut 18+!!, baby/babe petnames, power bottom reader, first time together, handjob (gyu doesn't last long lmao), oral, face fucking, lots of praise, consent checks, fingering, a little chest play, anal, mating press, aftercare, written w/o the use of condoms but safe sex is implied at the beginning

note : alright, i only went through this once to edit it so sorry if i missed anything. but anyways i basically always post fluff so enjoy the smut!! idk when it'll happen again!!!!

minors go away pls,, im serious lmao

part one

mingyu stared at you from across the table. his cheek was propped up against his hand and his back was slouched. he watched your eyes in fascination. they were locked on your laptop screen, darting here and there while your hands typed away. your eyebrows kept furrowing again and again, which mingyu found amusing to watch.

the two of you had taken things pretty slowly with your new relationship. being friends first, it took some time to get used to things and relearn how you fit together. if you were honest, you couldn't believe you hadn't seen mingyu's feelings for you sooner. his continued patience and understanding made you realize just how invested he was in you.

"i gotta get going soon. i have a lecture to get to," you finally broke the peaceful silence.

mingyu nodded, hiding the small frown on his lips. he knew you'd have to go eventually.

"okay, that's fine," he replied. "could i come over tonight?"

you finally looked up from your computer to see mingyu gazing at you with hope flickering in his eyes.

"sure, yeah. i didn't have any plans so that sounds great. we can watch a movie or play games or something if you want."

mingyu nodded and looked down at his hands.

"..well, i meant could i stay the night?" he clarified. you watched him play with his fingers, a shy smile on his lips. you quietly laughed to yourself. he was too cute.

"are you asking me if we can have sex tonight?"

mingyu's eyes went wide. he looked around to make sure no one in the coffee shop heard you.

"don't say it so carelessly!"

you chuckled again, "you're the one who brought it up!"

"yeah, but i was trying to be subtle," he whispered as he tried to hide his own laughter.

"mingyu, we've literally already talked about sex. and we already went to the doctor together."

"well, yeah, but it hasn't happened yet.. we only talked about being safe and.. about what we like," he said bashfully, "and i didn't wanna make you uncomfortable if it's not the right time yet."

you looked back at your computer, blushing.

"..why are you so sweet?" you muttered. mingyu's smile grew as he watched the pink tint on your cheeks darken.

"i really don't mind waiting. i just wanted to ask y-"

"babe," you stopped him. "i'll see you at my place tonight."

you didn't think you'd ever seen mingyu smile so big. his pretty canines showed before he looked down at his hands again.

you started to pack your things and stand up with your bag over your shoulder. you leaned over him and gave him a quick kiss.

"text me whatever time works for you?" he asked as you began to part from him.

"i will. see you later, gyu."

an eager smile curved on mingyu's lips as he walked to your front door. he could feel his steps speeding up involuntarily, excited by just the thought of seeing you.

he knocked a couple times on your door, but it remained closed, and he couldn't hear any movement from inside either. he double checked the time. it was around eight o'clock - the time you had agreed on in your texts.

confused and a little worried even, mingyu let himself into your place instead of waiting. he figured it would be unlocked - you were terrible at remembering to lock it.

"y/n?" mingyu called softly. still nothing. he frowned and walked further in search of you.

"y/nnnn.." mingyu stopped when he got to your bedroom. your room was dark, but still lowly lit with a few candles you had placed around. he smiled when he finally saw you curled up on your bed, sleeping in the hoodie that he left last time.

"dummy. why didn't you get under the covers," mingyu mumbled. he was about to get a spare blanket, but stopped when you started to stir and your eyes opened drowsily.

"oh, hi baby," you greeted quietly upon seeing him. mingyu grinned at you, moving to sit on the other side of the bed. "sorry, i drifted off after i took a shower earlier," you explained.

mingyu just shook his head at the apology. he got settled beside you, sitting and just staring at you with a smitten smile. he looked at the hoodie that draped over your shoulders and torso, then the thin shorts that laid underneath.

"looks good on you," he complimented as he tugged on the bottom of the hoodie. his hand slowly let go and trailed down to your thigh instead, mesmerized by you.

he watched you then stand up to stretch a bit after your accidental nap. you stretched your arms up and stood on your tip-toes, letting out a quiet groan. mingyu couldn't look away. the hoodie lifted just over your lower stomach and your leg muscles flexed.

"god," mingyu muttered, "you drive me crazy.." he was sure his ears were completely red by now, and he could feel some heat begin to rush toward his crotch. he felt pathetically desperate.

"what?" you asked while letting your arms fall back to your sides. you were still a little out of it, sleepy and cloudy eyed. mingyu flopped down onto the pillows with a heavy sigh.

"i'm just.. really into you."

you smiled and got back on the bed, climbing onto mingyu's lap to straddle him. his head instantly jerked up as his eyes went wide.

"good thing i'm your boyfriend then, huh?" you teased, sifting your hands through his hair. mingyu could only nod and look up at you.

you could tell from the way his mouth drifted open just the slightest bit that he was dying for a kiss. the look in his eyes was growing more impatient by the second. you slowly leaned down, your torsos pressing against each other, and let your lips hover over his. you stayed in place for a minute to enjoy the view of your boyfriend underneath you. before your lips could touch at all, you sat back up straight on his lap. mingyu groaned helplessly.

"y/nnn.." he complained.

"hm?"

mingyu let out a huff of air and stared at the ceiling.

"what is it, baby?"

"..i don't know how much longer i can stay like this," he admitted. he continued to stare at the ceiling to avoid your eyes.

a small smirk formed on your face as you started moving your hips against his. you went slow, watching mingyu's face change in pleasure. his own hips lifted upwards just the tiniest bit in an embarrassing need for more. his hands shifted from your thighs to your backside, trying to urge you to move faster.

"better?" you asked.

"mm.." mingyu didn't know if he meant yes or no, he could barely form words in his head let alone out loud.

you looked down at his grey sweatpants and moved a little faster. seeing his erection fighting against the fabric of his pants made your mind foggy.

mingyu let out a quiet moan when your hands slid beneath his t-shirt and gently moved along his chest. your hands were a little cold, it made his stomach tense up and his mouth fall open a bit more. when your fingers barely missed his nipples, the faintest whimper escaped his lips. you smiled at the reaction.

"sorry, gyu. you're just really cute all worked up like this."

mingyu tried to ignore the blush creeping up on his cheeks again.

"..keep going, please."

you smiled at the breathy words you finally got out of him. your hips were moving faster with his now, grinding against each other at a matched speed. mingyu's gaze kept going to you, watching almost in awe. seeing the tent in your shorts was getting him all the more worked up.

your hands soon traveled back down his chest and waist before settling firmly on his clothed cock. mingyu felt his heart skip a beat, meeting your eyes again.

"can i?" you asked. mingyu instantly nodded, causing you to pull the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers down. you took his wet length in your hand and started stroking. he finally gave up and let his head completely fall back onto his pillow, mouth agape and letting all his softest sounds out. maybe he'd been waiting for this longer than he realized.

"just like that.." mingyu's voice was quiet. he shut his eyes as he breathed heavily and enjoyed the attention he was getting. before he knew it, he was thrusting into your hand, losing the embarrassment he'd felt earlier.

you could tell mingyu was close already. from the way his eyebrows furrowed, to the way his fingers curled tightly around the hemline of your shorts, to the way his dick twitched and throbbed as you kept pumping him faster. you found it cute how quickly he could get off when it was you handling him.

"almost there, baby?" you asked, watching some of his pre slide down your fingers.

"g-god, yes..!"

you worked your hand faster around him, bringing your other hand down to fondle his balls. you leaned over him again to finally give him the kiss he'd been wanting. your lips moved sloppily, both of you still focused on the handjob you were giving.

you then pulled away from his mouth and looked down at him with a drunken smile.

"gonna be a good boy and cum for me?"

it was over for mingyu the second he heard those words leave your mouth. he wasn't even able to utter some kind of verbal answer. his back arched and he let out a loud moan as ropes of cum shot onto his stomach, some dribbling down your hands.

you watched mingyu's stomach rise and fall with his unsteady breathing. his groans died down with his high before your hand finally came to a stop. mingyu couldn't speak, he could only close his eyes and try to catch his breath. you smiled proudly while you unmounted his legs and watched the cum seep into his white t-shirt.

"sorry i should've taken your shirt off, gyu."

mingyu shook his head while sitting up. "it's just a shirt," he replied as he smiled and took your face in his hands, kissing you deeply.

"i can't stop smiling," he whispered, his beaming smile forcing him to stop kissing you. "still wanna keep going?"

you nodded and resumed kissing in what became a messy make-out. mingyu shakily began discarding his sweatpants and boxers, followed by his your hoodie. your hands traveled to his waist and under his shirt again before taking it off completely. he got chills as he felt you pull the shirt over his head, and then admire his tanned skin and perfect muscles.

"you're so pretty, baby," you complimented. you kneeled in between his legs as he sat on your bed. he looked up at you with blushing cheeks while your hands went through his wavy locks.

mingyu's hands caressed your legs, the two of you just gazing at each other in content. his hands ran up and down your thighs again before sneaking up your shorts. his brows twitched upwards in intrigue when he realized you weren't wearing anything underneath the thin piece of clothing.

"no underwear?"

you shook your head, "i figured it'd just slow us down."

mingyu laughed quietly at that response. you certainly weren't wrong. he slid your shorts down and finally laid eyes on your naked form. you continued to look down at him until noticing his longing stare at your half hard length.

"what is it, gyu?"

mingyu swallowed hard. he looked up at you with eyes you'd never seen from him.

"can i suck you?"

your dick immediately jumped at such a question. you mumbled some inaudible curse word and nodded, watching your boyfriend's attention go right back to your cock as he began to stroke you slowly.

you let out small sighs and moans as you watched him become entranced in what he was doing. before long, his mouth hovered over your cock as he looked up at you, as if asking for permission again.

"go ahead, baby."

mingyu smiled before taking you in his mouth. he didn't start slow either. he took as much of you down his throat as he could, tongue massaging your skin.

"fuck-!" you felt your body take a screenshot. your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders as you knelt in front of him.

you had never seen mingyu like this before. his attention was completely fixed on pleasing you. his eyelids looked heavy and he seemed to just keep moving his head faster. before you knew it, you could hear the wet sounds of his mouth and see some saliva slide down his chin.

"holy shit, mingyu," you moaned as your mouth fell agape. you could feel your hips start to snap forward, but you stopped yourself. you pushed mingyu's hair back, bringing him to look up at you again as he deep throated you.

"fuck, that's good.." your head fell back as you closed your eyes and let him work you. all his pretty, muffled moans paired with the lewd sounds of his mouth on your drenched cock would sooner than later be enough to break you.

mingyu pulled off of your dick after another second. his eyes drooped closed as he sat back and tried to breathe.

"you okay, baby?"

mingyu nodded, "just need a second."

"okay, take your time," you comforted.

you decided to take a rest as well. despite mingyu's otherworldly blowjob, your knees were starting to kill you from kneeling in the same spot. you moved to sit on the edge of your bed and propped yourself up with your hands. your cock still stood tall, glistening with mingyu's saliva.

after a minute, you felt mingyu's weight shift on the mattress. you turned to see him getting off of your bed and instead get in front of you on the floor. he gave you a mischievous smile and leveled himself with your crotch.

"babe," mingyu started, "you know you can fuck my face right?" he smiled again when your dick twitched at the question. he slowly started to take you in his mouth again, all while keeping intense eye contact with you.

"..are you sure?" you asked. mingyu nodded, taking you deeper.

"shit." you tangled your hands in his hair again and watched your cock disappear into his mouth. "just tap out if it becomes too much, okay?"

mingyu only moaned in response. he closed his eyes as you began to thrust into him. if you were honest, you were afraid of hurting him, but he seemed perfectly fine. excited even. you looked down at him with cloudy eyes and mouth fallen open yet again. the bed started to move and creak quietly as your thrusts quickened. you tightened your grip on his hair and let out a loud moan at the feeling of your cock hitting the back of his throat.

"fuck, you're taking me so well, gyu.." you were getting way too close, and you knew he could feel it. you pulled out of his mouth and let go of his hair while giving him a soft smile. mingyu didn't waste any time though. his hand instantly went to your leaking cock and started pumping you.

you fell back a bit onto the mattress, eyebrows knitting together and hips bucking up into his hand. you came with a loud groan and a yell of his name. you couldn't bother to worry about where your cum landed, you just let your boyfriend finish you off.

mingyu stood up with a proud smile and hovered over your laying body, giving you a short kiss. he then went off to your bathroom and came back with a wet rag to clean both of yourselves up.

"babe," you called softly. mingyu met your eyes as he wiped your body down.

"hm?"

"if i had known you could suck dick like that.."

mingyu chuckled. "what? you would've locked it in with me years ago?"

you laughed and nodded. mingyu couldn't help but blush. he stood in front of you and began wiping himself down from earlier. you watched him in intrigue. he was just so perfect. when he finally looked up and caught you staring, he instantly looked away with an embarrassed smile.

"stop looking at me," he mumbled. you could've sworn you heard a faint giggle leave his lips.

"okay, sorry babygirl," you responded sarcastically.

mingyu rolled his eyes at the nickname. he turned away from you completely to hide his flustered state.

"babe, you literally just let me fuck your face. but now you get all shy when all i'm doing is looking at you?"

mingyu finally turned back to give you a side eye. he huffed dramatically and set the rag down before joining you back on your bed, laying beside you.

"and it might be your first and last from me if you're not careful."

you laughed before pressing your lips into a thin line, showing him they were 'zipped'. mingyu nodded in approval.

"in all seriousness," you began again, "that really was amazing. i'm sorry it took us so long to do this kind of stuff. i just.. i like going slow."

mingyu shook his head, "don't apologize. i'd wait even longer for you. i want you to feel comfortable with me.. and safe with me."

you rolled over a little to face him better. your hand reached over to cup his cheek, thumb grazing over his skin. his eyes were locked on yours as his lips stretched into another idiotic smile.

"i've never known a man like you, gyu."

mingyu felt every part of him tingle. he leaned in to connect your lips again. your kisses started off slow and soft, as if pouring out every emotion you had for each other. but each kiss got more intense and sensual. he slowly climbed on top of you as your tongues met messily.

as he hovered over you, you realized he looked even bigger and broader this way. his arms flexed and his hair fell out of place, his pretty skin glistened with the finest layer of sweat, and his knee settling in between your legs was getting more and more dangerous.

mingyu stopped kissing you after realizing you were a little distracted. he continued to hover over you with concerned eyes.

"are you okay?"

"hm? yes! sorry.. was just, um.."

his hand came up to gently hold your cheek. "what is it?"

you smiled, "i was just admiring you."

"ah, i see," mingyu chuckled. "you were checking out how hot your boyfriend is, right?"

you rolled your eyes at him. although he was right on the money, he was still a dork. you wrapped your hand around the back of his neck and brought him back down to keep kissing you.

his lips started to travel down from your lips to your neck, his knee finally pushing up against your dick. your mouth fell open at the feeling. mingyu could've sworn he even heard the faintest whine manage to escape from you, and it just about drove him insane. he didn't bother to keep going slow, he chose a spot on your neck to suck and bite while his knee rubbed against your cock.

by the time you were fully hard again, your whimpers and heavy breaths were fueling mingyu's ego completely. he moved your legs to hook around his waist before crashing back into your lips as if he'd been starving for them. his hands caressed around your hips and down to your ass.

"you have lube right?" he asked with staggered breaths. you nodded and pointed to the drawer of your nightstand, to which he left the warmth of your leg lock to reach for.

you watched him pour the lube onto his fingers before bringing his hand down to your backside. he carefully began to spread the substance around before inserting a finger.

"is this still okay?" he asked softly. you couldn't stop the moan that left your lips. and if that didn't answer his question, you still nodded and managed to utter out a 'keep going' in between the sighs of pleasure.

mingyu's lips were on yours again before you knew it. his body felt warm and safe, and the constant, loving kisses as he took his time working you open added a level of intimacy that you didn't think you'd felt before.

you realized that your eyes had been closed for a while. you finally opened them to meet mingyu's gaze. he smiled at you, giving you another kiss. he had three fingers in you now, scissoring and thrusting as he soothingly rubbed the skin of your thigh with his free hand.

"i'm gonna keep stretching you. just let me know when you're good, baby," mingyu said again. you nodded while his lips traveled back down to your neck. you could see his dick hovering over your own. it made your stomach turn in excitement.

mingyu pulled his fingers away from your stretched hole, about to add more lube when you spoke up.

"..i'm good now, gyu."

mingyu looked at you, "are you sure? i can prep you more."

you only shook your head and gave him a dazed smile. you watched his composure straighten out as he grabbed the lube again to start coating his cock. a dumb, eager, smitten smile was stuck on his face again, but you still found it adorable. how someone so impossibly hot could also be so disgustingly cute was beyond you.

"you look so good like this, gyu," you complimented. you rested your arms over your head as you watched him stroke himself. he was getting all flustered again.

"are you seriously talking about me when i have you laying under me like this? all spread out and ready for my cock."

alright, he clocked you.

"..shit, don't talk like that, i might cum on the spot."

"noted." he kissed you one more time and lined himself up with your entrance. your legs naturally wrapped around him again before he began to enter you. his eyes instantly shut as he bit his lip in an effort to hold back his groans. he then took both of your hands and raised them above your head, tightly intertwining your fingers against the sheets.

he stopped to let you adjust before looking at you with glossy eyes. "still okay?"

you nodded quickly in response. squeezing his hands in yours, you lifted your head up to kiss him passionately. it was in that moment that it really hit you - mingyu may be your baby, but he was still a hunk who was realistically much stronger than you.

"keep going, baby," you told him. "you're doing so good for me."

a small moan left mingyu's lips as he let his hips snap forward a little too much. his forehead fell into the curve of your neck, his cock a little more than halfway into you now.

"..you feel so good," he whimpered into your skin.

your staggered breathing filled his ears as he tried to keep still, scared of hurting you if he pushed into you any further. you kept whispering praises to him as you let go of his hands and instead began to caress his arms and back.

"you can keep moving, gyu. i'm okay."

he didn't need to be told again. he looked down and watched as his cock disappeared all the way inside you. he smiled when he earned a guttural moan from you.

"..that's it, baby," you mumbled, voice a little weak.

mingyu finally began to steadily slide in and out of you. he littered kisses all along your neck and down to your chest by your collarbones.

"fuck, that's good, gyu.. faster."

you heard a grunt from him as he gripped the sheets and started to pound into you. the quick change from gentle to rough made your mouth fall agape for the nth time that night. your legs became weak, falling wider to the sides around mingyu.

you could feel the bed moving with him, his thrusts just getting harder and rougher. you let your head fall back as more moans spilled out. the veins in his arms were popping and his pecs bounced with every thrust. you let your hands wander to his chest, squeezing as you fell into a trance. he looked down at your hands and smirked.

"like my chest, baby?"

you could barely put a sentence together. you just nodded and kept touching him as he fucked you.

mingyu soon needed more of you. he paused to move your legs, bending them up against your body and hooking them over his shoulders. the stretch made you choke out a whimper as he resumed his thrusts.

"m-mingyu..!"

he smirked again as he watched your eyes roll to the back of your head. "what? you like when i fuck you silly like this?" he taunted between grunts.

you nodded frantically, muttering out 'yes's under your breath. your eyes were glassed over, mouth still hanging and hole clenching around him. the sounds of skin slapping and your bed beginning to creak again just drove mingyu to go harder.

"right there-!" you suddenly yelled out just as you saw stars. "right there, baby!"

both of your moans filled the bedroom, mingyu drilling into your prostate. you met his eyes - his gaze was intense. but you couldn't hold the contact for much longer. soon, your eyes rolled back up to just stare at the ceiling, fucked out.

"pretty boy.. can't even look at me. am i making you feel that good?"

his words sent chills down your body as you sputtered out more 'yes's and 'don't stop's. mingyu was quite proud of himself, to say the least. you were always the one teasing him and babying him. but now, here you were, a moaning mess underneath him.

he leaned down closer to you, making your legs burn from the stretch, then managed to take your throbbing cock in his hand.

"y/n- fuck.. i'm gonna cum soon," mingyu groaned out.

"mmh.. me too," your voice almost sounded broken from the pleasure. you held onto his shoulders, hands sliding over his back and leaving reddening scratch marks.

the sound of mingyu's moans got louder and heavier as he chased his high. he continued to fuck you into the sheets, but his hips began to stutter with how close he was getting.

he pulled out with a sly smirk and started jerking himself. your legs fell back down as his eyes locked onto yours.

"let's cum together, yeah?" he prompted.

your jaw hung open as he took your leaking cock in his hand and joined it against his own, stroking both of you at an increasingly fast pace. you couldn't decide where to keep your eyes - mingyu's lewd face or your cocks being pumped together.

mingyu's orgasm hit with the longest moan you'd heard from him yet. you started to finish with him, humping up into his hands as your mixed cum landed across your body and the sheets beneath you.

he kept stroking until your climaxes subsided, leaning down to kiss you softly before falling beside you on the bed. you closed your eyes and tried to steady your breathing while mingyu reached over to get the rag from earlier. he wiped you down once again, cleaning you the best he could.

"don't worry about it, babe. we can just go clean up in the shower," you stopped him. mingyu nodded and gave you another kiss on your cheek instead. you laughed quietly at the smile he couldn't wipe off his face.

"sorry," he laughed with you as he covered his mouth. "i keep smiling too much."

"no, i like when you smile. just confirms that you like me."

he scoffed and looked over at you. "as if we didn't know that already."

pulling you in toward his body, he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head. your legs tangled together as you hugged him tightly. he let out a satisfied sigh while gently caressing your back, then looked down at you.

"shower now?"

"yes please." you left his embrace and got up from your bed. you started to trudge to the bathroom, but mingyu rushed up to follow behind you.

"wait, wait, wait," he squeaked out as he caught up to you. you stopped in the doorway of the bathroom to look at him in confusion.

"what is it?"

mingyu blushed. "nothing. just wanted to stay with you."

you shook your head at him, although he didn't miss the stupid grin that grew across your cheeks.

"you're such a baby, gyu."

he turned the water on before moving closer to you, hovering just over your lips.

"babygirl, right?" he asked.

you laughed and kissed him, "mhm."

[luvvnai]

Unrequited Love 

rapper y/n keeps hurting chris but he cant let go

you and Chris had a very interesting situation going on you two had met at summer smash last summer your set was before lil skies and ever since then Chris was in love with you, you did to but just not enough to want something with him you didn't see yourself in a relsonship

the first time he had confessed his love you to where in your car eating McDonalds Chris had constant Butterflys when with you, the way you grabbed his arm when laughing so hard that made you curls bounce or the way you mixed gold and silver jewelry and how your braces shined when you talked out whatever you where rambling bout

you were eating your nuggets when he couldn't stop looking at you, he felt like he was stuck in a trance he had been positive you felt the way about him you let him yap your ears off cuddled with him showed him your music that haven't dropped yet always ready to pick him never making fun of him for not being able to drive, so he took a deep breath said it "im in love with you y/n" you choked on your nuggets and didn't say it back he went home and cried to nick

you loved music, being on tour, being in the studio meeting other artist anything that had to do with it honestly sometimes you felt like music was your soulmate but you felt that getting into a relationship would be too distracting and there wasn't anything you could get out of Chris but some dick in your mind which led you to be friends with some more

nick and matt tried to tell him on many occasions that this would hurt him and was doing him worse than good, but he didn't care you could have hated him but as long as he was with you, he didn't care he loved taking you shopping watching you at the studio seeing fans ship the two of you he just loved you and as bad as it sounds you loved the attention and how much he spiled you rarely you wished you loved him back but there was only room for one in your heart and music won every time

currently you and Chris where on a "break" again you felt that he was pushing a relationship on you it wasn't that you where the whole problem Chris lets his commenmnt issues onto you it made you feel untrusted and controlled you didn't like that he wanted your lo to know all yours plans for the week what time you left and got back to your house

you had done an interview at the red carpet and timothy shalmon was the interviewer you and him are very similar flirty and talkative people the fans went crazy so did Chris he went on a 2-hour rampage watching every edit watching your body language at one point he even had it up on his tv

and fans had made many edits and ship they had also shipped you and Chris but not as much as they are with timothy and Chris in fax didn't like that why would they think you and timothy looked better than you and him did you think the same did you do the things with him you also did with chris he went crazy.

chris🤦🏽

soo whats up with you and timothy? cos you seemed really happy

oh my god Chris what are u on about

nah just wondering because everyone saying you two dating

chris you always do this stuff I can't look at a guy . without you going genuinely crazy

he cant fuck you like i do tho he dont love you like i do no one will i dont understand why you wont let it be and be with me .read 2:15

read he goes to text you again typing you are in love with him you just don't know it yet 'Chris get a grip you sound insane" Chris looks over at matt on the couch "Chris this has been going on for months how many times are we going to have to tell you she doesn't love you" Chris ran his hands though his hair throwing his hair back "shut the fuck up guys you don't get it this is what happens" nick laughed "may that kind of love never find me" Chris threw one of the pillows at nick

you on the other hand where unbothered by Chris you knew no matter what you said or how you treated him he would always come back to you like a lost puppy this was a game to you see how many times you could win you took it so far to the point where you didn't even follow him back on insta but had a highlight for you named 👩‍❤️‍👨 and you hid your face in every pic

it's been almost 3 weeks since you texted Chris, he's called you and texted your multiple times, but you didn't respond and for a second matt and nick thought you were finally done with him as they had to hold their little brother all most every night it was like he was going through withdrawal he couldn't sleep barely eating even nate tried to help

but just as he started getting a little better and accepting that you were never coming back, he relapsed you texted him one night at 4 am when you were at the studio bord you genuinely forgot about the poor boy

chris 🤦🏽 . * your lo* come over imy

ill be there in ten

*yn❤️ liked message*

i missed you to baby

as calm as he sounded in the messages, he was so relieved to hear from you he ran to matts room busting through the door "matt yn just texted me can you give me a ride to her" matt sat up from his bed smacking his forehead "Chris don't go isn't this draining for you" Chris feeling irritated pulls the blanket "come one matt I need her please" matt not wanting his brother to get a uber at 4 in the morning gets up grabbing his keys "thank you" Chris says softly

he got your privet studio that had a gate in the front that needed a code to get in he texted you to come open it matt saw you walk out the building in a white tan top and long gray short to the gate this being the first time he'd seen you since rolling loud you walking to the car as Chris rolled down his window hey you can just drop him off here the inside is full Chris walked out the car hugging you

you didn't really hug him back just kinda sat there this pained matt knowing how hugs where Chris's love language "so how long you need him till you go ghost again" his mattaude sticking out very hard Chris shots him a look you as you smile at matt "idk ill drop him off when I'm done with him" you say as you walk away Chris quick to follow you

you and chris get into your studio he sits on the office chair and sits you on his lap rapping his arms around your waist and his head into your neck "I missed you baby" you put your hands in his hair rubbing his scalp "you wanna here this new song i just made" he lifts his head up "mhmm" you tap around on your computer and play a song https://open.spotify.com/search/the%20cut ( please just act like a girl sings it)

in the middle of the song Chris picks you up placing you onto the table kissing you he pulls you into a kiss he knows he shouldn't be doing this and that he will be hurt but there is that side of him that truly thinks he can change you and maybe one day you will love him back, he kisses down your neck starting to leave Hickeys as you pull onto his hair Chris no hickeys I have a show next week

he Growns onto your neck as he listens to you pulling your shirt off and going for your tittes sucking on one as he toys with your other nipple pinching and slapping it, he moves down kissing your belly and pulling your shorts off he sits back down into the chair as your heat sits perfectly Infront of him he kisses and bites your inner thigh pulling you panties off and blowing into your clit

Chris, you whine like music to his ears he loves the way his names sound so perfect in your mouth when you pull him by his hair into you, he happily follows diving into you rapping his hands around your thighs putting them over his shoulders

you moaned out as you felt him spell something on your clit Christopher that's when it hit him, he didn't care how many times you ghosted him or didn't say you loved him back this was his favorite place he would go through all that pain all over again if it meant ending up in-between your legs

[meanbossart]

Lore Ask Compilation: "Every Other Question Is About The Drow's Dick" edition

Oh I LOVE Minthara, her dialogue is absolutely fascinating and in my opinion some of the best written In the game. Experiencing her in my Evil Durge playthrough without having been spoiled to her companion scenes prior was great - the amount of depth they managed to add to her, without it at all feeling forced or rushed, and considering how much less time she gets to develop at our side is really well done. While nearly everyone's quests had me immersed, she was one of the few characters who really made me pause and think about the things she had to say to me, what she truly meant by them, and what they meant for me as an avatar doing an evil run.

We have a lot of characters in this game that are meant to be full of wisdom and experience, who are meant to be the ones who say the right thing at the right time that inspires us to make the correct choices, but I don't think either Halsin or Jaheira (and I love Jaheira) made me feel like I knew so little about life quite as Minthara did.

And, of course, she's absolutely hysterical. 10/10 I wish she had a proper companion quest past being rescued but I understand why she doesn't.

[MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT]

It doesn't connect to the urethra since the slit in on top, so he nuts and pisses normal.

Also you 100% are not sorry, stop lying to me.

Man, I thought a lot about this one because I play so fast and loose with the content the game gives us that I'm positive there must be SOMETHING I'm completely disregarding, but I couldn't think of anything! I've chosen to pick slightly less obvious interpretations to some lines and text but nothing that completely deviates from canon, I don't think. If anyone has noticed something I neglected to mention, feel free to let me know - not because I want to revise it, but just because I'm curious!

For the second part of the question, not really. Larian did a great job of giving us plenty of room to play around in the dark urge's background, I think I'm yet to see something that I find to truly "not fit" in the ample freedom they've given us. I have my preferences, of course - I'm shocked to find that most dark urge's are NOT big hulking beasts, for example - in fact that seems to be the minority by far, but I realize that I have my... Uh... Biases.

You can see a cute little divot through the fabric if you look closely LOL

And nah, I think his penis has seen enough sharp points for a lifetime.

Well.

Unless someone decided to add some bite-marks to it.

HMMM, I... Don't think so.

He didn't cry as a baby, he didn't cry as a child (and this isn't something I just decided on now - this is a major reason why his foster drow mother even kept him around) he didn't really cry growing up or at any point during the campaign. I think he is capable of it - sadness in him just tends to be far more confusing a feeling than anything else.

He will have emotional moments in ANE, whether or not that will culminate in crying is something you will have to wait to find out LOL

Astarion has noticed this and just took it as a character trait - the drow doesn't cry, he just gets confused, angry, frustrated or simply bottles it up. While he can be demanding of his emotional maturity, he isn't going to try and dictate how he should experience his own feelings. If it did happen it would definitely catch him majorly off-guard, perhaps even shift the perception he has of him to a certain extent.

Oh my god you just know they All managed to be utterly quiet about it for as long as humanly (and unhumanly) possible until like, I don't even know, halfway through the Shadow-cursed lands where one day Karlach finally turns back to the group around the campfire after a half-nude drow has strut past and she's like "SO

"DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHY HIS DICK HAS A SNATCH"

And Wyll is like :0... Karlach you can't just ask people that.

And then she pointedly turns to Astarion and starts trying to interrogate him on how it works while Gale covers his ears and Shadowheart is like:

This is gonna blow you guys backwards but he does not do those things in front of people and thinks its rude if you do.

HMMM Mostly physically but it's a little subtle. He really enjoys interacting with Astarion's (and previously Orin's) hands - kissing, holding, caressing. Touching hair and faces as well. He can engage in more overt physical affection but usually Astarion has to be the one to initiate.

A disarmingly earnest proclamation of love and adoration here and there as well - he isn't shy in the slightest to tell people how he feels about them, he just isn't constantly reminding them of it unless inspiration strikes.

Most of all I think he expects his loved-ones to see his care for them in his tendency to go out of his way to help them achieve their goals.

He went with them to the Shadow-cursed lands but I never helped him fix the curse, so he stayed behind when the gang went onwards to the city. DU Drow didn't really like him so it was good-riddance as far as he was concerned.

If he had come along and propositioned him during act 3 - uh, you know the really mean rejection line you have as a choice during that dialogue? Yeah, that one lmao.

Alas, DU drow is just monogamous. He could entertain group-sex with a partner for fun at the most, but not ever a third person in the relationship. And In my personal interpretation (but by all means - everyone else have fun with their poly arrangements!) of Astarion and his delivery of the "this is about Halsin" line, I also thought he was lying about being comfortable with it, so I write him as monogamous as well.

Nothing. Nada. Not a thing. Say what you'd like about Bhaal but he sure knows how sculpt them out of his murder-meat.

(Thank you!!!)

[bon2bonn]

Weathering Your Storm

22!F1 grid X female!driver!reader

° Venture your silent sea

Part 2.2

Words count : 2.3k?(excluding the texts).

It's finally done!

Warnings : grammar,not edited, not proof read.

*it's long and packed , and I hope you enjoy reading it .

F1.grid masterlist

...............

Two weeks gone by and now she had her mind was made , she had her time to think and evaluate her career in new light away from the pressure of actually driving and having her view clouded with the rush of her hectic schedule with no time to breathe . So she took a step back , not complete letting go of hope but to process what she's doing and what to come .

She went off the grid but her dad as always found his way to her , not that she minded but she felt the weight of thinking that she failed him somehow , he didn't say anything after she told him what went on that weekend , expecting some sort of a grand reaction but he just looked at her and asked " are you okay?" She wasn't sure how to answer but she shrugged " I don't know yet" , he nods and went on with collecting firewood as they were doing before she stopped abortly to tell him not expecting this , it was like ripping a bandaid and I felt like one .

Hours later they both sat at the fire side by side in a content silence, she took a look at her father finding him lost in thoughts staring at the fire ahead and before she could stop herself she asked " are you disappointed?" He glanced at her hunched form , knees up to her chest and her hands around them , he saw that little girl trying to act tougher than her heart is . He asked back "about what?" She gave him a quick glance picking a dry branch to doodle on the dirt before her " disappointed in me" he scratched his growing stubble in thought " and why would I be?" She cleared her throat " you know, I basically got fired mid-season with no seat for next season or even a chance in the reserves " he gave her a knowing look asking bluntly " and why would that make you think I'm disappointed in you?" She rubbed her forehead " cause I feel like I failed " he gave her a long look , gathering his thoughts and turning in his foldable camping chair " I already told you , and I'll keep on doing so until you accept it. You are never going to disappoint me, I'm beyond proud of what you've done and what you'll ever do because I know how hard you worked to reach where you are now , and with a seat or non I'm still proud of you . Yeah I'm saddened that you won't be out there driving to your heart content for now but it's not your last race" she cuts him " but you don't know that, so far no team reached out and they know how chaotic it'll be to give me a seat , they won't take the chance , not after this" giving her a shrug he kept going " I just know , the same way I knew you're destined for great things when you drove your first race , hard headed and determined, holding your head high and beating all those taller boys with their mean dads" they both chuckled at the memory, as he added " it's will take time " she lowered her head " but what if I never get any seat ? , what if I got a seat and it turned up worse than last year ? , what if I stopped racing?" He sighed heavily before answering " for the worst and the best cases I'll be there for you , and if you wanted to quit I'll still support you and still be as much proud of you , it's your journey to fulfill it the way you see fit and no matter what remember it's yours so don't let anyone or their words or decisions makes you forget that . You hear me ?" She nodded in understanding giving him a determined smile as he ruffled her hair up laughing as she groaned in annoyance smacking his hand away before pulling on her cap and tying her hood up covering her head and pulling the strings to secure it around her face .

Both basked in silence watching the wooden logs crack in the fire but got startled as his phone pinged with a new message

(from Max's pov 🤭):

He chuckled quietly cause her to raise an eyebrow in suspicion " What got you laughing?" He shook his head turning off his phone before leaning towards the fire his elbows on his knees and he turned his face to her in a serious manner " have you thought about what I proposed?" She nods with a groan " I did and I might take your offer " he gave her a knowing smile " it's only till you get a seat and it might be sooner than you think , but you'll have fun and still travel whenever you want aaaaaaaaand" she tilted her head in question earning a huff from him before he explained " you'll get to be your own boss !" She gave him a side eyes " if it's soo great , why are you dumping it on me? " He leaned back and crossed his hands behind his head sighing dramatically " I want to live my life too, I'm still young , I'm going out to date again , find me a ...." She cuts him with a disgusted face " DAD! Ew no ! I don't want to know about you romantic life , last time was traumatic enough!" He laughed at her face throwing a punch of dry leaves at her " oh ! Grow up, be grateful I'm not snooping into your nonexistent love life!" She gasped in offence " Wow! Just wow! My own dad is bullying me!" She stood up dramatically ", you know what!? I quit! Find you a new person to run your business" he held his hand to his chest as he kept on laughing " I didn't even hire you yet!" She only groaned louder sitting back down and chucking a wrap paper at him as he kept laughing, joining him eventually as the both spent their night with her relieved that a weight is off her shoulder.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Two days later

Settling back home in Monaco after your trip turned you back to the stressing atmosphere, as days gone by and it now settled in that you've got no seat for the rest of the season, let alone next season or the one after . Getting back home was both the best and worst thing to do right now . Still got piled stacks of paperwork to do , piled forms to sign and things to move , but staying in your bed looked more appealing than doing anything else so that's what you choose for now .

The news is yet to spread , but it's only a matter of time before it gets leaked , your face blastered on every sports site and every gossip magazine , you can already see the headlines . the slander and rumours of why would a team like Mercedes suddenly drop their driver mid-season ? Speculations and allegations of every absurd theory under the sun would make appearance , But that's for future you to worry about, now you just want to sleep in and let shit happen .

Glancing at your phone on the bedside table , having it turned off for the past two day after ignoring calls and emails asking about your whereabouts . It'd only take sometime before someone figured out where you dipped to or Danny might fall under pressure and snitch on you and come barging in dragging you out of your so called hibernation . You made a note to come up with a way to tell the guys later . telling them rather than them finding out from media or worse George himself , so you gotta make the most of the quite atmosphere as possible.

But That didn't last long , half hour later and someone's already bounding on your door , opting to ignore it as whoever is knocking is bound to get tired or think noone is here and leave . But that didn't happen , 10 minutes and they won't leave , you huffed removing the pillow off your head and getting up shoving the covers aside sliding out and blindly heading to see who's trying to break your front door down , throwing on the first thing you found on your way out , one of Danny's old hoodies you've stole and claimed as yours , covering your messy hair with the hood and trying to wipe the sleep out of you eyes , Praying silently to every higher power there is to not be one of the guys .

Groaning quietly as whoever is knocking covered the Peep hole ,so after contemplating for a second before swinging the door open startled by who stood before you , he smiled at your stunned face " you're a very hard person to reach Y/N " you kept looking at him in confusion before snapping out as he asked" would you mind if I came in? " .

•••••••••••••

~~~~~~

The guys showed up as promised all concerned about you but as well relieved to finally see you before them , easing their minds for moments as they anticipated your words .

They settled in around after dinner , no one was joking around as usual or starting a conversation, all waiting for you somberly to say what's in your chest as they waited patiently , Daniel gave you a reassuring smile squeezing your shoulders as he sat on the single chair by the window along with the rest , all except lando who kept shaking his leg up and down nervously so you decided to put him out of his misery as you stood before them " I just wanted to wait to tell you face to face instead of you finding out from the media or someone else, well , I basically no longer have a seat " they looked at you in silence still not processing what you've just said, so you elaborated " I'm no longer part of the grid formation" the first to respond was Max who shook his head in denial " No" you sighed at his response , next to him was lando looked at you in guilt not finding the courage to say anything in fear it'll make the situation worse so he opted to keep his mouth shut , Carlos was spacing out so you opted to let him process it more before snapping him out , Charles looked very confused as he asked " why? " , you shrugged at him sitting down as you spoke again " I honestly don't know, they wanted me out and here I am " Carlos snapped at this " what about your contract?" . You shook your head " already terminated " they all looked bewildered , various " what!?" Sounded around the room " they already signed another driver for the second half of the season " Charles whispered " you're not even finishing the season?" You shook your head in answer .

Max stood up hands balled up and shoulders tense " who signed?" You refused to answer so he looked at Danny who sat back not having the same shocked reaction like the rest of them " you knew , so tell me who they signed for that fucking seat?" He looked at you before turning to him in defeat " It's not my place to tell " max scoffed at him before turning to you again " why ?" You glared at him " cause I know you won't hesitate to go up and fight him over it , I won't let you do something that stupid " he challenged you " well whoever that bastard is he deserves what's coming for him" you pinched between your eyebrows " No Max, he doesn't" he tilted his head asking " so you just give up to him , you've worked your ass for them and now they just swiped you aside and signed someone else!" Charles stood trying to calm him " Max, hey , calm down for a minute " he ignored him , still irritated so you know he needs to get it out so you let him " I'm not calming down! Why should I ?" Carlos spoke up next " cause you are not the only one who's upset about it " Danny agreed " we all are beyond pissed believe me" you added next " but you have to remember 'never take anything personally in this sport' , yeah i lost my seat so what !? It's not like It's the end of the world " and before he could argue you stopped him " here's the thing all of you can be pissed as much as you want here in this room you can scream and yell as much as like to get it off your chest , but the moment you step out it stays here , cause out there it won't affect you as it'll me , I'm already out so what can they do more ? , But you're not, you still got your season to finish, so you have to promise you won't do anything out there because I won't be there to smack any sense back into you brains " .

He stared back at you folding his arms challenging you " I won't promise you anything until I know who is he " you glared back not fazed " I won't tell if you won't promise " you both started each other down before Carlos groaned smacking you both to cut it out " fine I promise!" You gave him a deadpanned look " George" Charles asked with wide eyes " Russell!?" Daniel nods " the one and only" Carlos turned to Max who got eerily quite compared to earlier " Max ?" He just nods curtly before sitting down not uttering a word for the rest of the night .you clapped after a beat of heavy silence " so! , who's up for desert?" .

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XI good omens season 1 finale I'M SORRY THIS IS LATE, I WAS READING FANFIC.

How is this a title I'm now forced to write. Yes, I know it's been a week since I finished episode 6 with you maggots. And today is the day we start season 2. However, I, the Official Good Omens Mascot, procrastinated writing part XI, because I was reading too much good omens fanfiction. Yesterday I do believe I was reading till 3 in the morning. Thanks guys.

Season 1 finale, or whatever I can figure out with my records of the watch along chat, at least. WAHOO.

[EDIT: I'm back at the intro after finishing this post, and I realised this is a very long summary, because most of it is me yelling at you guys. As I typed it I started reliving my rage of last week. Read on if you dare, yes the post is long, and yes the second half is in all caps. THIS TOOK EMOTION. YOU GUYS BETTER REBLOG IT INSTEAD OF LIKING IT SILENTLY WHILE LAUGHING AT MY PAIN. I WANT MY RAGE EVERYWHERE ON TUMBLR.]

Someone puts a message about how Crowley can no longer sense Aziraphale's presence, and again for some reason covers it with black. My reaction is of course horrified, and then everyone tells me to STOP CLICKING THE SPOILERS, ASMI.

So that's what that was. I realise this out loud, and everyone is ready to cry with exasperation. I explain to them very reasonably that while I don't read every message on the watch-along chat, every time there is a black message I assume it's important and I click on all of them to reveal the text.

Realising the spoiler function has backfired, as most things do with me, the chat sighs and everyone goes for a break. Then someone puts another blacked out message about the bookshop, and I react to that, leading to another blacked out message which simply says STOP CLICKING THE BLACK.

Oops, I already forgot. THE SPOILERS ARE JUST TOO CLICKY. CLICK CLICK CLICK. I HAVE TO CLICK ALL OF THEM.

Someone says I forgive you, Asmi. I reply with Don't bother, which leads to tears and threats to stab me. The chat maggots give up and we start episode 6.

There is a random flashforward. I don't understand what is happening, but then again, I never do.

Back at the airfield. Crowley walks in, recognises their hubby instantly, and takes charge sexily. Then the Bentley bursts into flames.

Crowley is heartbroken. No one comforts them. When I point this out (read, YELL IT AT THE CHAT IN DEVASTATION) someone tells me that this is how it always is.

APPARENTLY DAVID WAS TOLD TO THINK ABOUT THE TARDIS EXPLODING IN THAT MOMENT. I HATE THAT I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

Crowley needs all the therapy. Someone says kinder fanfic authors give it to him. LIES, I point out, FIRST THEY GIVE HIM EVEN MORE REASON FOR THERAPY. THEN GIVE HIM THERAPY.

Everyone is yelling about a fanfic called demonology while Adam the Antichrist feels so weird at Aziraphale being inside someone that's not Crowley that he separates them in the First Bigeneration style. Doctor Who is inspired.

Aziraphale like the babygirl he is, tries to girlboss his way through the situation by making Crowley murder the kid.

Pepper FUCKING STABS WAR IN THE NAME OF FEMINISM WITH THE SWORD OF EDEN AND THEN OTHER TWO KIDS END THE OTHER HORSEPERSONS IN THE NAME OF HOMECOOKED MEALS AND ECOFRIENDLINESS AND WHAT THE FUCK THESE KIDS ARE TWELVE WHAT PERCY JACKSON LEVEL OF BADASSERY-

Crowley and Aziraphale give a half-assed attempt at a father-son (gn) talk with the Antichrist as the world is ending. It is a terrible contribution to saving the world. The Antichrist thankfully has inherent common sense, because he wasn't raised by them.

Aziraphale tries to overshare his and Crowley's meetcute and has to be shushed by an embarrassed Crowley who is trying to keep them alive.

Satan is supposed to arrive. I mistakenly assume Gabriel is actually Satan. Which pleases a lot of people.

Gabriel and Beezlebub talk and blame Crowley and Aziraphale (who contributed exactly JACK SHIT to averting the apocalypse).

I kind of ship Gabriel and Beezlebub after seeing them interact for 30 seconds, which for some fucking reason leads to a lot of reactions and yelling. I want them to be together. Which leads to more yelling. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY CANON?

Satan arrives. Antichrist disowns him. Through the power of Manifestation, Law of Attraction and Positive Thinking, Adam is now no longer the Antichrist, Satan leaves, none of this happened and the BENTLEY AND BOOKSHOP ARE SAVED.

NO ONE IS FUCKING HUGGING CROWLEY. I'M GOING TO STAB A BITCH.

There is the bus stop scene Crowley asks Aziraphale to move in with him and they hold hands I DON'T FUCKING KNOW BY NOW THE CHAT HAS DESCENDED INTO CHAOS I'VE LOST MY BRAINCELLS.

ICE CREAM DATE AND SUDDEN INVASION AND I'M WATCHING THE ACTING AND I'M LIKE HANG ON A SECOND SOMETHING IS OFF AND I ASK SUDDENLY IF THEY SWITCHED.

THAT'S RIGHT, I ASK IF THEY SWITCHED. I KNEW THERE WAS A SWITCH AND I THOUGHT IT WAS MIDWAY THROUGH SEASON 2. BUT THE SIGNS ARE TOO MANY HERE. EVERYONE IS NOW YELLING AND PEOPLE KEEP IGNORING ME.

ALL THE ACTING IS FLIPPED I'M NOT BLIND YOU FUCKERS. AZIRAPHALE'S FACE IS DOING CROWLEY'S COULDNT-CARE-LESS EXPRESSION AND HE'S QUESTIONING HEAVEN AND CROWLEY'S TALKING HAS LESS CONSONANTS THAN USUAL AND NO CROWLEY SASS MORE AZIRAPHALE SASS IT'S THE SAME BACKGROUND AS THE NOSE-SCRUNCH SCENE AND SURELY THAT WAS AZIRAPHALE RIGHT.

EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME TO WAIT AND SEE. I KEEP YELLING THAT THEY MUST HAVE SWITCHED.

SOMEONE SAYS I'M EITHER A MADMAN OR A GENIUS. I TELL THEM I'M BOTH BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT DID THEY FUCKING SWITCH.

I'M NOW QUESTIONING MYSELF BECAUSE EVERYONE ISN'T LYING BUT THEY'RE MAKING ME QUESTION MY REALITY SO THE CLASSIC GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSSING.

I'M YELLING ABOUT HOW ONLY AZIRAPHALE WOULD BE POLITE ABOUT JACKETS AND SURVIVE HOLY WATER. EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME. I'M NOW 60% SURE I'M WRONG.

PEOPLE KEEP YELLING WAIT AND SEE AND TALKING ABOUT SADIE AND DOTTIE I HATE IT HERE.

CROWLEY IS IN HEAVEN THAT WAS HIS DISMISSIVE LOOK I'M NOW 90% SURE I'M RIGHT. I'M YELLING ABOUT IT.

ADAM LEAVES THE GARDEN IN A METAPHOR AND THEN AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY SWITCHED BACK. THEY SWITCHED BACK. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT. I AM LIVID. I AM YELLING.

IT'S VERY EMOTIONAL AND NIGHTINGALES AND THEY TOAST THE WORLD AND I'M VERY EMOTIONAL BUT I'M COPING BY THREATENING MURDER BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING RIGHT.

THE END.

SEE YOU GUYS TODAY AT SEASON 2 I GUESS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

[gurugirl]

Sneaky for part 3 of unicorn? I'm so excited guru you don't understand!

I'm so glad you're excited!!! I'm just over 4800 words into part 3 now. I'll give you a little something below the cut :) Thank you!!

I would give you guys more but there's so much going on in this part that some bits would just give too much away. Also this is raw from my drafts and not edited or proofread so the final version might look a little different. xoxo

Part 1 | Part 2

Jax bought the first pitcher as the rest of you claimed a nice table close to the dart boards at the back of the bar. It was a Friday night so the place got packed not long after you’d arrived.

You lost badly at the first game of darts which meant the next pitcher of beer was on you. You frowned exaggeratedly at the rule that the loser buys the beer, but the truth was that you were feeling amazing. It was nice to not be sitting at home thinking about things that you shouldn’t be. The distraction was welcome. Being out with friends was refreshing.

Waving at the bartender you placed the empty pitcher down and dug into your front pocket for some cash to pay your turn. But a sudden feeling came over you. Like you were being watched. Or noticed at least. You casually looked to your right and then to your left but you saw no one looking at you. And no one looked familiar.

“Another pitcher of beer?” The guy asked, bringing your attention back to him.

“Oh! Yes, please.”

With that strange feeling crawling its way up your spine you turned slowly and looked back at your friends and then to the table next to the window.

You jolted and felt your scalp prick and fingertips sizzle when you made eye contact with him. Harry. He was seated at a high-top table. He appeared to be alone.

He lifted a hand in greeting before bringing it back down to grasp his pint and looked out the window.

You hadn’t even become unfrozen from the shock of seeing him by the time the bartender was back with your pitcher. You settled up with him and looked back to where Harry was seated. He didn’t look back at you. You wondered how long he’d been there. Had he seen you before you walked up to the bar?

“Hey, here’s the pitcher,” you placed it at the center of the table. “I’m gonna sit this game out. Someone I know is here and I’m gonna go say hi.”

After refilling your glass you hesitantly made your way to Harry. The least you could do was say hi. You had wondered about him all this time and had been tempted to text him a time or two but never felt it was right.

“Hi.” You stood next to his table, at a safe distance in case he wasn’t interested in talking.

He pulled his gaze away from whatever he was looking at outside to you, “Hi, Y/n.”

“I was, uh, surprised to see you. I don’t want to bother you. I just–“

“Sit if you want,” he gestured at the other stool. So obviously you did, placing your glass on the table and keeping your eyes on him.

Harry took a sip of his beer and his eyes were as deep and full of warmth as ever.

“How have you been?” You asked. You didn’t really know what to say to him. Which was silly when you thought about it.

“Things are complicated at home. But I’m okay. How are you?”

You shrugged as you took a drink from your glass, “Good. School’s been good. Here for a night without worrying about homework and quizzes. Just needed a night out with some friends.”

He nodded and leaned forward, resting his forearms onto the lacquered wooden tabletop, caging in his beer, “I’ve wanted to text you to see how you were doing but figured you wouldn’t want to hear from me again after what happened.”

You pinched your brows together and shook your head, “That’s not… I wish you would have. I wanted to text you a few times too. Just to check-in. I’ve missed you guys.”

“The boys really miss you. They talk about you still. I mean…” he rotated his arm so his palm was face up in a passive gesture, “it hasn’t been that long since– well, anyway.”

You smiled, “I miss them a lot. Hey, did Warner ever finish learning that song on the piano you were teaching him? He was doing so well learning the parts. I kind of hoped to hear him complete it but then…” you didn’t dare finish that sentence.

Harry grinned. It was the first genuine smile you’d seen from him since you approached him.

“Yeah. He’s pretty much got it down now. I’m really proud of him. He’s gonna be starting guitar and singing lessons soon. He wants to learn to start a band with some friends so I encouraged him to take some lessons.”

“Takes after his father. Musically talented.” You gleamed at Harry.

Harry gulped the lump down his throat. He had really missed you around. But he’d been quite caught up in the aftermath of that night with Kit ever since. That night had changed everything.

“Ahh, I just dabble. Warner has real natural talent.”

You couldn’t be sure but you thought the apples of his cheeks were turning a shade pinker than they had been.

“I’ve heard you play the piano and sing. I’d say you have plenty of natural talent, Harry.”

You meant it too. He had a beautiful voice full of dark timbre and vibrant airy notes. And of course, he was so confident when he sang that if he had told you he made an album and played for audiences in sold-out venues you would have believed it.

“That’s nice to hear. Thank you, Y/n,” you watched a dimple slowly work its way deeper into his cheek as his smile widened. It was nice to see him smile.

You both sat quietly for a bit looking out the window at the dark street as cars drove by, headlamps beaming over the dark asphalt. You wondered if you should press him more about how he really was. You could tell something was off. He wasn’t as happy as he normally was. And when he told you things were complicated at home you figured it had something to do with Kit.

Tags (for The Unicorn): @littlenatilda @harryspirate @itsmytimetoodream @princessaxoo @summertime-pills @egirlshit @chesthairrry @idontknowbi @f1n3l1n3 @tpwk-sophie @justtilly @fictionalmensblog @harrrystyles5 @gem1712

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 3 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Mr. Jeon gets your number and offers to drive you to the Modiste but don't really give you an option to say no Paring: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 3.5k~ Warnings: Like one cuss word but thats about it lol a/n: This took longer than I had expected to post but I hope you guys like it! p.s. roughly edited because I wanted to get it out asap lol

"So start from the beginning again. What exactly did he do?" I hear as Jesse's voice come through the speaker. "He's just trying to intimidate me" I groan, not wanting to relive it again.

"He thinks that that kind of tactic is going to work well enough to make me into a 'lady'. I really don't understand how some of these upper class people think. They're acting like it's the 18th century or something" I complain, walking around my room and putting away the new clothes I bought for this whole charade. 

"I mean they more or less are if they're still concerned about stuff like having a girl go through this whole song and dance just so the rich boys know that they're up for grabs now. It just doesn't make sense" he sympathizes. "I'm glad you agree" I say, relieved that I don't have to explain myself to him. "Well why don't you just talk to him about it?" he suggests. 

"James? I would but I don't want to make it seem like I'm trying to back out or complain about it. Plus my mother would never let me hear the end of it and she really might convince him to make me get a job instead. 

"No I meant Jungkook, or Mr. Jeon or whatever the hell you call him. He could probably answer your questions if you ask nicely" he taunts at the end. 

"Talk to him? He doesn't bother to initiate any sort of conversation with me, other than when he tells me to do something. Even when he asks questions he expects me to answer with a 'yes' or 'no' and stops me from asking him anything even if I try" I groan, disgusted at the thought of trying to speak to him like I would any other person.

"He would probably just reprimand me for not doing the homework he gave me since it probably has all the answers I'm looking for" I huff. "Have you done the homework?" Jesse asks, clearly knowing the answer.

"I read the spark notes okay" I admit rolling my eyes "So I know gist of it. I showed you how thick those books were right? There was no way I'm going to be able to finish all of them by Monday" I groan, tossing myself onto the bed. 

"Well it's either read or talk and if I were you I would talk to him and get on his good side. It would benefit you more in the long run" he say, stating the obvious that honestly I had not thought of, considering how much he infuriates me.

"At the end of the day though it's up to you babes" he finishes. We talk for a bit more before he has to go and he doesn't forget to remind me to read some more before I go to bed to which I brush off and wrap up the call to prevent any further nagging. But before I'm even able to lock my phone after ending the call I get a text from a random number...

Unknown: You have a fitting tomorrow so we'll be meeting there instead.

I frown for a second as I stare at the screen, contemplating if I should answer or not.

Me: Mr. Jeon?  I question making certain that my suspicions are correct.

Unknown: I see that no one has told you yet. Yes it's Mr. Jeon, I acquired your number from Matthew so as to ease our means of communication. He finishes matter o factly.

I stare at the screen again and contemplate how to respond but before I'm able to he sends another message. 

Unknown: I hope this hasn't made you uncomfortable. If you would like I can continue to send messages through Matthew instead. he offers after noticing my hesitation to respond 

Me: No this is fine, it would make things more convenient for the both of us. I answer, feeling almost as if a barrier between us has been broken down with this nonabrasive conversation we're having at the moment.

Unknown: Agreed. I just checked and noticed that I pass your college on the way to the modiste so I will pick you up instead. he sends, telling me more than offering. 

Me: You don't have to do that, I'm perfectly capable of getting myself there on my own. I reply, not appreciating the way he's gone about this.

Unknown: The location is quite far, farther than my house so it would be more cost effective for you if you were to simply accept my offer. Although I've already told your father and he said he would send someone over to pick up your car from the University. So unless you would like to walk there I suggest you come with me. There's the Mr. Jeon we all know and hate...we meaning me.

Me: Yes Mr. Jeon. I reply, knowing that I've lost the battle before it has even begun.

Unknown: I shall meet you outside the main building at 4:15. Sweet dreams. he finishes leaving me confused. 

'Sweet dreams? Sweet dreams?' I repeat in my head. 'That's the first remotely nice thing he's ever said to me. Why would he say that? He could've just ended it at 4:15.

Why Sweet dreams?' I shake my head hoping that would in some way get rid of whatever overthinking my brain starts to do but it's no use, especially since I still have it right in front of me. 

I change his name to 'Jungkook' because at least that way I can feel like I'm disrespecting him on a daily basis without his knowledge, assuming he will be sending me unnecessary reminders of stupid things he thinks I'll forget.

Knowing me though I probably would've forgotten it anyways since I kind of black out during our lessons at times. He talks so much that after my already mind numbing classes I can hardly focus on what he's supposed to be teaching me. 

~~~~~~~~

I walk down the front steps and see an all black car waiting right in front, leaving me to assume it's Mr. Jeon. "Get in or we'll be late" he says after rolling down the window. I roll my eyes and open the door, plopping myself down in the back seat.

"What are you doing?" he questions, looking at me through the rear view mirror. "Putting my seatbelt on?" I answer just as confused as he is. He takes a deep breath in and out and starts up the car, driving away before saying anything else. 

"Oh did you expect me to sit up front with you?" I ask now amused at his behavior. "Seeing as I am not your personal driver yes, I did expect you to sit up front" he says tonguing his cheek. 'Huh, so he does that when he's irritated. Noted'.

"Yet you gave me no choice but to drive me there" I argue back. "I did this as a favor so we would both show up on time. I guess I won't offer next time" he says and I can see how much he's trying to restrain himself. 

"Mr. Jeon did something happen?" I ask, genuinely curious as to why he's acting like this. He's usually upfront and intimidating, but never angry with me. Maybe a little irritated but the feeling is mutual. "No, now will you please stop being a brat for five seconds? We have a long journey and I would rather we spend it in silence than listening to your insolence" he says raising his voice. 

I decide that it's in both of our best interests if I remain quiet but it takes everything in me to do just that. 'Who does he think he is? Calling me a brat?' I scoff quietly to myself and put in my headphones, not missing the glare he sends me through the rear view again. I press play and rest my head against the window, deciding to get some rest instead of dealing with whatever attitude that's got him all messed up.

~~~~~~

"Wake up" Jungkook says once we get there. He looks back and finds me fast asleep with my headphones in, leaving him rolling his eyes and getting out of the car, making sure to slam his door on the way out. He goes around and opens the door I was lying up against and let's me fall a bit but catches me half way before I actually topple out of the car. 

"Hey!" I whine, now unfortunately being forcefully woken up. "We're here. Get out and wipe that drool off your face" he says and pushes me back in so I'm sitting upright and makes his way over to the building, not bothering to wait for me.

"What's his issue today?" I groan and reach up to wipe the drool off my face he had spoken about but I find none leaving me even more irritated with the fact that he's not only grumpy but he still has the audacity to try and tease me.

When I finally make my way into the building I'm met with so many different kinds of dresses and fabrics and ribbon and everything that you could possibly imagine that would be in a dress maker's shop. 

"This must be y/n!" an older woman, most likely in her sixties says as she comes up and gives me a little smile. "Hello" I say shyly, remembering the scolding that Jungkook had given me earlier until I glance over at him and see that he is giving me an even bigger scowl than he had before. 

"I mean it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance" I say giving her a nod. "She's still got a lot to learn" Mr. Jeon says and walk with the dressmaker and talks her through everything that we've planned to do today but I can tell she is already well versed but continues to let him explain all the same.

"Y/n" I hear him call out my name, leaving me bringing my attention back over to him after I had just started to look through the different bolt of fabric that are sitting on the various shelves. 

"Yes?" I say remembering to give him a verbal response. "Please go ahead and stand up on that stool over there and wait for her to come up and measure you" I look over at the area he's motioned to to make sure I know exactly where to go so I won't get scolded for not doing as I was told. "Yes Mr. Jeon" I say and make my way over and wait for her.

"Oh you're going to look beautiful in the gowns we're making for you!" the woman says as she happily continues to take my measurements. She notices my reaction and looks around for Jungkook and sees that he's on a phone call in the other room.

"It's okay I won't make them girly and pink". "How did you kno-" "A woman always knows, especially when I've been in this business for so long. Also don't feel a need to be formal with me love. I don't subscribe to that stuffy nonsense" says with a chuckle. 

"But you make dresses for them" I say confused with her stance on things. "It's good money dearie, plus I enjoy making them. I started sewing at the age of four believe it or not!" she says looking up at me over the edge of her glasses as she checks to see how long she'll need to make the dresses. 

"Are you clumsy at all?" she asks rather randomly if you ask me. "No not really, why?" I ask tilting my head slightly. "I just wanted to see if I should make the hem a bit shorter so you wouldn't step on it but I think you'll be just fine" she finishes and take a final look at me and at the measurements she's written down. 

"Perfect! Go ahead and sit down over there and rest you legs a bit while I bring out some dresses that you'll be trying on" she says and turns to make her way over towards the backroom. "Dresses? There's more than one?" I question and she unfortunately doesn't hear me since she's already out of earshot. 

"You'll be trying on at least five dresses today. Just so we can make sure we choose the right one" Jungkook says right behind me, scaring the shit out of me. "Sh- I mean, you startled me" I say placing a hand over my chest. "You'll live" he says simply and goes to sit on one of the chairs facing the stool I had been standing on.

"Are you going to just sit there and watch?" I question, seeing as he hasn't made moves to do much else. "It's one of my tasks of being your tutor" he says and fishes out his phone to respond to what I assume is another message. 

"Your job is to watch me try on pretty dresses?" I question, amused by the situation. "Yes y/n, it is my duty to make sure that the dresses we choose match the themes of whatever events we are going to, as well as being appropriate to the trends nowadays" he finishes and lowers his voice when he sees the seamstress come back. 

"I heard that" she says while rolling a rack of dresses into the room. "Do you see one you like?" she asks and motions for me to come closer. I look at the rack and see there are so many dresses of different colors and patterns and styles, I just don't know what to pick.

"Which one do you think I should try on?" I ask turning towards her. "Well why don't we let Mr. Jeon choose, since he so kindly reminded me that my taste is out of date" she says and winks at me, showing me she's teasing while simultaneously giving Jungkook the cold shoulder. 

"I did not mean it as any disrespect. What I was trying to say wa-" "Oh hush child, just come over here and chose a dress before I really start to get upset with you" she teases and he walks closer to the rack looking through the dresses while he sends a glance my way most likely debating on which one might suit me best.

He takes a second to think after looking through all of them but doesn't seem to find one he's satisfied with. Looking around the room for a second he finds another dress on display and walks over to it to take a closer look. 

"This one" he says almost bored and walks back over to sit in the chair he had been occupying moments ago. "He's cranky today isn't he?" she whispers to me and I nod my head quickly agreeing. "I'm glad you noticed too" I say and she walks to the back and grabs that exact dress in my size. "Go ahead and change over there and I'll grab some pins incase we need to alter it" she says and I do as I'm told. 

Coming out of the little dressing room she has I smooth the dress out and watch as her eyes light up. "This looks incredible on you! I don't even think I'll need to alter it at all!" she says excitedly. I smile at her and thank her silently and see Jungkook walking over to take a closer look. 

He takes in my figure from top to bottom and has me do a slight twirl to see it from all angles. "We'll take this one" he says and starts to walk over to the counter to settle the bill. "That's it?" I question her, confused as to how we actually managed to finish this all without me having to try on a bunch more. "I mean he did pick the perfect dress for you" she says walking me up to the full length mirror and I'm shocked at how much I love it as well. 

I twist and turn around a bit more to see the movement of the dress and the more I watch the more I fall in love with it. "You're right, this one's perfect!" I say and turn my vision towards where Jungkook had gone to and I notice that he's most likely been watching me this entire time. He clears his throat and fixes his posture to try to cover up for himself but I can see how almost bashful he looks from being caught in the act. 

"Why don't you go change and then we'll have this all settled by the time you're done" she says and ushers me back in the room again. "By the way, is there something going on between you two?" she questions, catching me off guard. "What do you mean?" I ask turning around to face her. "I mean I've never seen him look at someone like he just was a few moments ago" she points out, confirming my suspicions. 

"Plus, in all my years of him bringing his students here he has never once put in any effort to pick out a dress, and half the time the student ends up loving the dress while both Jungkook and I disagree but he lets them choose it nonetheless" she says and I take a look at myself in the mirror again, trying to asses if this is the one that I really truly want.

"It just seemed like he knew you and he knew exactly what would look good on you without even having to try" she says giving me a smug smirk. "No ma'am please it's nothing like tha-" "I'm just kidding child don't worry. I swear no one in your generation can take a joke anymore" she says and walks out of the room laughing at the slight panic I had started to go through.

~~~~

"Thanks for the ride" I say when we pull up to my house, this time having sat in the front seat. "No problem" he says and looks over at me, this being the first time he truly had this entire trip, or at least the first time I noticed. "Hey can I ask you a question?" I say, stopping before I reach for the handle to get out. "You just did" he says, this being one of the first times he's tried to make some sort of joke. 

I roll my eyes at him and I see a flash of an almost smile but it's gone as soon as it came, being replaces with his usual stoic expression. "How did you know what dress to choose for me?" I ask and watch as he gets awkward again just like he had done when we were back at the modiste.

He turns to look out the wind shield, this time giving me a full view of how the tips of his ears have gone a bit red from the question. "I'm not sure, I think having to go through that process so many times it just seemed like that one was the obvious pick" he says and gets out of the car.

"What are you doing?" I ask following suit and watch as he pulls the garment bag out and starts walking up the steps to the front door. "I'm making sure the dress stays well taken care of. I'll hand it to one of the staff when they open the door" he says and waits for me at the top of the stairs. Before I'm even able to reach for my keys I hear the door being unlocked and the face of my mother comes into view. 

"Oh hello, you must be Mr. Jeon" she says sending him a bright smile to which he reciprocates and bows a bit as a sign of respect. "Hello, I just wanted to make sure that y/n and her dress got back safely" he says and she waves one of the housekeepers over to carry it up to my room for us although it would've been fine by me if I could've just done all of this by myself.

"Well that was very sweet of you. Would you like to stay for dinner? It should be ready soon, plus we would like to show our gratitude to you for making such a long journey there and back for her" she offers. 

"Perhaps another time. I have a business meeting across town tonight but thank you so much for your generosity" he says, politely declining. "Well thank you again for bringing her home" she reiterates and I start to not so subtly try to usher her back inside.

"Come on mom he said he has to go" I say to her under my breath. "Well it was so nice to meet you Mr. Jeon. I hope we'll see each other again soon" she says, leaving me having to almost push her inside. 

"Thank you Mr. Jeon have a good night" I say and as I turn to close the door he says the same thing that had me over thinking just last night. "Good night y/n, sweet dreams" he says with a soft smile and heads to his car, driving off and leaving me with a confused mix of emotions yet again. 

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[jermasubtitledofficial]

Hi everyone, I'm the official subtitle editor for 2ndJerma and Jerma Stream Archive. I've been working to make Jerma985's videos more accessible through closed captions and subtitles. Jerma985 videos are subtitled regularly. You can view the definitive playlist of them here:

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Subtitling is a labor-intensive task that requires a lot of time and effort, but it's worth it to make sure that everyone can enjoy Jerma's content. However, I don't receive official compensation for my work. (writing, reviewing and editing captions) Without official pay, it can be difficult to justify the time I put into managing subtitles. That's why I'm reaching out to the community for support.

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Up next, a recap of what happened in March 2023:

I update interested parties each month about what's been added, and I'll start posting them here if there's sufficient interest, plus any additional musings. So here's the recap from March:

The community has provided so many submissions I'm nearly overwhelmed! I have a lot to review. Every caption will be published, it's just a matter of time. Those not present have been added to the queue.

First, overlap from February is SCORN by me, Erasmus Magnus. It highlights an interesting conundrum of subtitling: how to intuitively portray something said for a deaf/HOH audience, in this case a filtered voice. Feedback I received including that of @maplecaster led to the final result, and I think it works tremendously well.

Second, we have The Short Sniper by community regular, kitpigeon. Short and sweet, high-quality subs for one of Jerma's low-profile videos. Great job.

Next, we have Receding Randy transcribed by @maplecaster. This was some fine stuff. I'm embarrassed how long it took me to sync it, but that's only because I'm something of a perfectionist. I try to limit the time sink, but I want the best for the subtitles, and it only makes sense to polish the time to be as good as the text content.

After that, we have an absolute classic in the form of Grab that Grotto 5—no relation to Grotto Beasts—by @graysaregay. Well done on this. I did some executive editing for some tricky stuff like the text-to-speech voice. I'm really glad this ol' classic nearing a million has captions now.

And finally, italoplumber has provided a German translation of The Max Cow Capacity Compulsion. Never would've guessed he was popular in DACH countries, but I suppose it makes sense. It's in his name. Willkommen in Jermany.

And that's it! If you want to see more about official Jerma985 subtitles, including musings and related information, consider following! And again, play-by-play updates can be found on Twitter at @JermaSubtitled.

[okiankeno]

2 Truths 1 Lie Reveal:

TDLR: option 3 was my lie! The first love letter I did lose and never opened until 3 years later (funnily enough, this was from the academic rival's best friend btw) but my second letter, from a girl I knew, I opened right away after finding it. Hence, I lied.

If you would like to learn more about me and the stories behind the options I picked for myself, they're under keep reading!

Most of Smoshblr voted for option two, which everyone dubbed Wattpad fanfic adjacent. It happened lol. I have a long explanation in response to @unknownteapot that I will reiterate here with some edits:

The academic rival was a guy I had a 'crush' on in grade 6 (my last year of elementary school in Canada). I say 'crush' in quotations bc I didn't understand the concept of sexual attraction or romance until the year after. Before understanding sexuality and attraction, I thought that picking the smartest person in the class would make me fall in love or something (spoiler alert: not really). We were compared a lot to each other as overachievers because of the extracurriculars like music and sports that we did, but I never thought we were rivals outside of school.

He and I were pretty good friends too, we ended up going to different junior highs (grades 7-9) but we texted and emailed each other every so often to keep in contact. The summer before high school started, he sent me a flurry of texts pretty much saying "Please go to x school with me, if you do we can date each other" (as if that was like a cool reward for going to the same school as him like??)

He is a nice guy but it was weird to me. He knew that I had a 'crush' on him years ago because I either told him or my best friend told him I can't remember tbh. I have no idea if he liked me tbh it just came out of the blue but what do I know, I miss flirtatious cues a lot so 😔😭😣 oh, and if you are wondering, I did not take up his offer because I thought it was really weird, plus I didn't have feelings for him.

Option one, stopping foreplay because of a joke that I never told my girlfriend? This too, is true.

My girlfriend and I took edibles before nightfall and when I'm high is that I get very bubbly and it's super easy for me to laugh. Additionally, it's very easy for me to get locked in on intimacy — so that's how I found myself in my girlfriend's bed, you know, bodies pressed together (there's a slew of other effects, but these are most integral to this story). But as I was touching her I could not stop thinking about how funny yet unsexy it would be if I cracked a joke. And this thought just kept repeating over and over in my head making me giggle and then into full-blown laughter. So naturally, sexytime had to come to a halt. She asked me what was going on and I told her, "I kept thinking about how funny but unsexy it would be if I made a joke right now," to which she asked, "What was the joke?"

There was no joke, just me laughing in anticipation of potentially making one during sex. Really lame, I know. I ended up getting frustrated at myself for a few minutes (my girlfriend comforted me with, "We don't have to do this right now if you're not in the mood") while we paused but then I locked in and got to home base.

Option 3, unopened love letters! This is my lie! These stories have a lot of sadness carried with them, so if you don't like hearing about heartbreak, prepare yourself!

The first letter, Valentine's Day, I'm the only gal that gets one from this guy. I misplaced it in my bedroom in one of my books and didn't find it again until I deep-cleaned my room three years later. I open it, it's a card that tells me about how cool I am and is filled with Naruto drawings (I doodled a lot of anime characters in class) and a $20 bill. $20 is a lot for an elementary school kid! So, yeah, I missed that signal. My best friend at the time even said to me on the bus home, "Oh I think [guy's name] likes you," and I went hm yeah interesting, not interested (I didn't care for or understand romance at the time - this was grade 6).

Second letter: An anonymously signed love letter was found in my locker in May, a month before I graduated high school. I opened it immediately because I wasn't gonna have a repeat of missing a confession from someone. It's typed in Times New Roman, and signed with an uppercase 'L'. It's from someone I knew because of the details included in the letter. They wanted to confess to me before we graduated but didn't have the courage to do so in person.

I spent a week trying to figure out who this could be, and unfortunately for me, I pegged down the wrong person, someone I had an ongoing crush on for 5 years since junior high, and wrote a letter to him. He reads it. He says it's not from him and he doesn't like me. I'm heartbroken and baffled.

Almost immediately after conversing with my crush, I knew who it was from: the girl who sat beside me in my physics class for the past year. Her last name started with an L, but I never thought it was her, because her words, to me, in the context of my delusional crush on a guy, sounded like him. So in my heartbreak, I write her an emotional reply letter overnight, bringing the one I wrote for my crush as well, and approach her at lunch break.

It's a sunny day, two weeks have passed since getting the letter in my locker, and I bring her to the end of a busy open hallway. She's sitting on the concrete floor, I'm standing above her, letters in hand; everything is bright, but I know the next thirty minutes will be anything but naught. I opened the conversation by telling her I received her letter and by mistake, thought it was from someone else. I let her read the letters. She starts crying, and I do too — she's a very sweet girl and my friend. A teacher walks by and asks if we are OK, and we both are sobbing, saying, "Yeah." We do not look ok.

I felt soo shitty, having heartbroken her heart from my heartbreak, and she tells me she has to write a math exam after this. I still cringe thinking about this story to this day because it fucked me up emotionally and I couldn't sleep right for the rest of the summer. Anyway, I think about the experience and think I could make a Webtoon about it and it probably would pop off because a high school love triangle that's unrequited on all ends? Pain.

Anyways thanks for coming to my story time 🫠✌️

[sectumsempress1]

Good Omens Season 3: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Sectumsempress1, Hag

Or that one time I watched Good Omens, felt the claws of hyperfixation sink into my flesh for the first time in years, re-watched Good Omens more times than I care to admit and then drowned in a mind palace of analysis and delusion, resulting in this season 3 predictions bingo card coupled with unnecessarily long explanations for each square.

I'm gonna post these explanations one or two squares at a time, and honestly my first theory (probably not mine, I'm sure others have also come to this conclusion) deserves its own post because wowee I'm insane about this one.

Let's talk about why I think Crowley may have been Jophiel or Jeremiel before they fell.

I have seen endless theories about who Crowley could have been before The Fall; Lucifer, Barachiel, Raphael, Samael... and I see some evidence for all of these. However, I raise you;

Great question babygirl.

Okay me when I lie.

Yes, I took this throwaway line and went insane over it don't worry about it. Anyway. First J angel that I think could make sense is:

Jophiel "Beauty of God"

Jophiel is described in some texts as the guardian of wisdom and a teacher of languages to souls at the dawn of creation. She is also recognised as a teacher to Noah's children (specifically Shem) by C.E. Clement, Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa and Thomas Rudd.

And yes I am aware this is post-Fall Crowley and not the angel they were, but it's interesting that Shem was mentioned specifically regardless. Neil has wounded me so, I just feel that nothing is unintentional. Anyway, any iteration of Crowley as a teacher just feels right based on all we've seen of them.

(How he acts with Muriel, answering Jim's questions, showing Jesus the kingdoms of the world.)

Jophiel is also heavily associated with beauty and creativity.

Okay Mr. 'Pointedly Unusual Imagination.' Bit beautiful and creative of you.

Now here's where it gets buck wild. So Jophiel is not explicitly mentioned in the bible (in fact only Michael, Raphael and Gabriel are consistently mentioned) but scholars interpret Genesis 3:24 as referring to him.

"He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and aflaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life."

Yeah. It is widely agreed upon that Archangel Jophiel wielded the flaming sword and cast Adam and Eve out of Eden. Now, obviously, in Good Omens canon, Aziraphale did this. But... what if that wasn't the original plan? What if, after Jophiel and the others were cast out, the work rosters in Heaven had to be shuffled around a bit? And what if Aziraphale, having met this beautiful, curious starmaker so long ago took on their role himself?

What if Crowley and Aziraphale began the arrangement long before either of them had the words to understand what it was? All because the angel couldn't understand why he felt so drawn to the Fallen who couldn't remember.

(Edited because I've already come up with a new theory. I still stand by all of this and want it to be true so badly, but I think that Crowley does remember. I think Aziraphale is the one whose memory may have been tampered with. That doesn't change the core of the Jophiel theory, I just think that upon reflection, a personal relationship with Crowley is not what caused Aziraphale to take his old job.)

It also makes sense to then make Crowley the Serpent of Eden, if they had perhaps already planned to go to Eden anyway.

Jophiel is also widely known as Metatron's companion, which explains why he is so aggressive towards Crowley in a really cold, personal way. Yes, Metatron knows of everyone and everything so him knowing Crowley's story isn't odd in itself. But the glare...

To me, this reads as "I know you. I've known you. I know exactly what you're capable of and I will not take it. Not again. Behave." It's like a glare a parent would give their toddler for misbehaving in public. It feels pointedly personal. Almost as though they've worked together in the past in a way that ended badly for Metatron and he is on high alert to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Again here. Metatron doesn't speak about Crowley in a general 'all fallen angels suck' sense. It's personal. His choice of words, the tone, everything points to him having been personally wronged by the angel Crowley was.

Also just look at Jophiel's goddamn curly little red hair are you kidding me right now Neil Gaiman I am in your WALLS.

Also some more fun facts: Jophiel is shown as male and female presenting, leads people to a deeper understanding of the beauty of the universe, is regarded as an angel of wisdom, is known to protect those who seek truth, battles against forces of darkness and ignorance... and is strongly associated with the colour yellow.

Nice eyes babe.

Anyway, I am so delulu about this specific theory because if it is true it would show Aziraphale and Crowley's grand cosmic connection in a way that is honestly just ineffable.

But however much I long for Jophiel to be it... there is also some evidence for it being:

Jeramheel/Jeremiel "God shall have mercy"

In religious texts, Jeremiel is known as the angel who presides over true visions, often appearing in dreams and visions to bring truth. He appears to decipher Baruch's visions and give him a tour of heaven in the book '2 Baruch', and God sends him to answer the prophet Ezra's questions regarding the apocalypse in the book '2 Esdras'.

He also served as an angel of death, watching over and guiding souls to heaven and helping them learn from their earthly experiences.

This again goes back to Crowley's belief that everyone has the right to answers and being a good teacher because of that. It would make sense for them to have had this role in their angelic days as well, despite it eventually coming back to bite them.

Jeremiel is often depicted with a book or a scroll, symbolising the importance of knowledge.

Also, while Zadkiel is known as the angel of forgiveness and mercy, many people also consider Jeremiel (god shall have mercy) in this role... which would make Aziraphale's constant attempts to forgive him and his insistence that he is unforgivable even more devastating, and why I have ongoing theories about a role reversal occurring when it comes to this theme of forgiveness (more on this later).

Right. So I am obviously clutching at my delusion of it being Jophiel, but Jeremiel is a wider known angel with more canonical basis for actually being an archangel, which is why he also makes a lot of sense to me.

Thank you for joining me in this downward spiral into insanity. Look forward to part two!

[vividspectrum]

Now that all of the new unit designs have been revealed, I want to go through and give my thoughts!!

(Small note: I took several days to finally sit down and give my thoughts, and as I was writing several things were revealed, so if you see colored text it's because new information was revealed while I was writing and didn't want to edit what I'd already written)

This post does get long, so if that's not your thing, then feel free to scroll past!

Overall, I really like Leo/Need's new look! It feels more professional and cohesive but still keeps some of the individual charm the original designs had.

School Miku's original design is one I'm especially going to miss. I think if they kept the skirt the same, I wouldn't mind as much, since then you still have some of the same pop as the initial design. I do like the 39 patch on the sweater - it's a cute detail.

Ichika's original design is one I wasn't too much of a fan of. I don't really know how to explain it other than she stands out just a bit too much? Strangely enough, this new design has the exact opposite problem - Ichika blends in a bit too well now. I do think part of that is just from a portion of the outfit being obscured by the guitar, though.

Speaking of obscuring a portion of your outfit with an instrument, Saki now has the full fit on display! Her new outfit is pretty similar, though I do think the bow tie is cuter and suits her better. I will miss the cropped jacket, but I don't think that length would have worked as well with the new blazer. The double belt is also another neat detail.

Shiho is next, and I really don't have much to say about her. Similar to Saki, I think the tie switch was a good choice, but there really isn't much more to mention.

Moving on to Honami, I wish there were more elements of her original design present here. I understand why they aren't - they just don't fit as cohesively - but the puff sleeves and half-buttoned jacket thing were cute. It also just doesn't seem very practical to have the drummer wear full sleeves on a blazer? Like, yeah a lot of motion is just in the wrist, but there is some shoulder movement that would make the jacket bunch up and overall would just be uncomfortable... or so I'd think. I played flute, so what do I know.

I know the general consensus with More More Jump is that people don't like the blue, but I don't mind it thaat much. I do wish the individual members' colors were more apparent- you can still see them, especially with Minori's, but I wish they used the accents in more places. Overall very cute, though.

I also just wasn't a fan of MMJ's original designs anyway, so these are definitely a step up

Stage Miku's new outfit is beautiful, and I love the little homages to Miku's different voicebank outfits- it honestly reminds me mostly of her V3 design, but I can see elements of the NT design in there as well. The little hair braids are adorable as well. My biggest worry is whether or not the other Stage Singers will get a new design, as only changing Miku (and Rin?) (UPDATE: Yes Rin too) would lose the cohesion they had in that Sekai.

Minori's outfit is one I have mixed feelings about. I don't think it's bad - I quite like the look of it - but I can't help but feel like something is... missing? I guess? (It does look better in the 3DMVs, so who knows what this might have been)

Haruka looks lovely in this new outfit, though oddly enough, she is the main reason I wish that the secondary color of the outfits weren't blue; her color is lost. You can still see it in the plaid, but you really have to zoom in. The layers on the skirt are very pretty, though, so I don't mind too much.

Airi's outfit is my favorite, I think? I know the skirt is for certain - the train is a very nice touch, though I can't quite tell if it's asymmetrical or not (UPDATE: seeing the new 3DMVs confirmed it is asymmetrical). The underskirt is also really pretty, and I genuinely think the pink matches the blue more than Haruka's blue does.

I don't really have much to say about Shizuku's new outfit. It's quite beautiful, though she experiences a similar problem to Haruka. It's a bit easier to see her greenish-blue in the plaid, but you do have to look for it.

I adore Vivid Bad Squad's new designs oh my goodness. The initial designs were good, but I really like how these new designs (mostly) show another side to street wear- yes, the group had a similar style with the previous iteration, but VBS is a group where I feel the lack of cohesion fits them best.

Street Miku is probably the redesign I dislike the most, but most of it just how same-y the colors are. The trenchcoat looks really nice, and I do really like the pieces of the outfit, but I wish there was a bit more variation with the colors... that said, I do think I'll grow to like it. (UPDATE:

Kohane's new design is absolutely stunning. Her initial design was really cute, but when you look at this new one, you can just see the confidence she's gained. A lot of the design aspects are the same - mainly in terms of the top and skirt - but whereas these are hidden under the big jacket in the initial design, they're on full display with the new one. It reminds me of what happens when someone starts to dabble in a new style, growing more confident in how you feel with the style and how it looks.

As I'm sure several people have mentioned, An's design is reminiscent of Nagi. It's not exact, of course, but the inspiration is still very apparent. This design is also really interesting to me because of its similarly to her initial; the colors are used in the same way, something that really isn't seen in any of the other new designs. The shoes are different, though.

Akito is still wearing a jacket over a sweatshirt... for some reason. Moving on.

Toya is another character whose gained confidence you can see in this new design. Unlike Kohane's new outfit, Toya's is very different from his initial design. The only similarities I could really see are the wear on the knees and the overall color scheme (UPDATE: the 3DMV revealed there was still text on the back of the outer jacket, but my point still stands). It's not a bad thing that the two are so different, though. In fact, I think it's a really neat way of showing character growth - the two designs are different because Toya is finally letting himself be without fitting any one else's definition of what he should be.

Let it be known that I was terrified for WxS's new designs. Luckily, there was no need to worry, but the worry was there all the same. I quite liked how the original designs looked, since they fit the setting fairly well, but they were very disjointed and (to me) felt less like a troupe and more like one of those shows when costuming is based on what you have in your closet. In comparison, these designs feel more coherent and ask if the costume shop made them... if that makes any sense.

Wonderland Miku looks adorable. Her initial design wasn't my favorite, especially with the cowl and overabundance of baubles, but this one has a wonderful balance between whimsy and cute. Very interesting that the ears changes color, though... wonder what that means.

I've had to write my thoughts on Tsukasa three times because Tumblr refused to save it, but basically: looks nice. I like the addition of more contrast. I'm not typing this again.

Emu's new outfit looks nice as well! I like how they chose to keep the shapes, such as the skirt and sleeves, while adding more details that the other members share. The contrast of round and angular is also nice, and the colors aren't too bright. Very nice.

Nene's design also keeps the overall shapes, but there's a lot of new elements to it as well. Keeping the buttons and expanding upon the butterfly motif is very cute.

What we can see of Rui's design looks nice, which makes me a little scared of what the front may look like knowing the initial design (UPDATE: the front view isn't awful, but my brain randomly decided it looked like Dimentio and now I can't look at it the same way). The asymmetry is nice, and I like the diamond/rhombus motif throughout. I know the motif was in the initial design, but it's more subtle here.

And here we have the group I started with and grew to love, whose video I watched while in class... fun fact, the video also dropped on my birthday, so that was a fun little gift~

Now, my opinions on N25's original designs are overall mixed; I like the overall look, but I wasn't the biggest fan of how Kanade just had an oversized sweatshirt. Yes, it fit her, but it didn't really fit the aesthetic the others had, if that makes any sense. Oddly enough, I have the opposite problem now.

Empty Miku is probably who I have the least to say about. I liked the initial design, but I don't think it really fits the group anymore - and I'm not just saying that because everyone else has new designs. Her initial design is fairly simple when you look at it, and so of course she grows to have more detail as the group grows to accept themselves and their true feelings: the Sekai was empty, Miku's design was simple, but that's not the case anymore.

Like I alluded to before, I wasn't a fan of Kanade's initial design. I liked the idea, but placing her beside the other members of the group just made her stand out too much. It really was just the colors, if I'm being honest, since the rest of the group wore these dark uniforms while Kanade had her bright sweatshirt. With this design, the sweatshirt (jacket?? There is a zipper this time...) aspect doesn't stand out as much, though oddly enough, I kind of wish they leaned into it more.

I do like how Mafuyu is the one with the gradient now, though. I can't really say more since the profile view doesn't offer much? (UPDATE: after seeing more of the outfit I still can't really say much. The off center bow is a neat detail, as well as how the over skirt adds a nice asymmetry. It's a welcome change from the symmetrical uniform she wore initially).

Ena's initial design was one I really liked, though I didn't really realize it until now. It's simple in concept, but there's some neat detail that I wish was kept. I get that the new idea is to have them wearing something more casual, but I feel like they could have incorporated more elements of the initial design in Ena's new one.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel about Mizuki's new outfit. I miss the color their initial design had, but at the same time I understand the direction the unit is going in. I did like how personalized their initial design looked; it was unique, but still fit the themeing the rest (sans Kanade) has. The new design does scream "Mizuki" with its fashion, but I can't tell if this new design has to little or if their initial had too much; the new design looks like the rest of what Mizuki wore, while the initial really didn't share a lot of aspects with the rest of their wardrobe. That said, I can't wait to put the Hermit hairstyle on this new outfit because I have a problem.

I do want to try and find what flowers everyone has on their outfits because I'm weird like that and overanalyze the use of flowers in media, but I'll leave that for another day.

[indigozeal]

Game translation project delay

Earlier this year, a game translation project which I had been trying to get off the ground for a very long time was surprise-announced by another team member, with a release implied to be imminent. I'm not going to mention the name of the project in the body of this post for Woolie Madden reasons—I don't think we should have tempted the Fates then, and I don't think we should any further—but if you've happened across this page, you know what it is. I had myself mentioned that I had already translated 90% of this game's Super Famicom script, a number the team member making the announcement quoted, and one which I stand by. Yet here we are several months later, and I'm still deep in work.

In short: the translation's the holdup. I'm informed that technical reasons make using the original SFAM game for a patch prohibitively difficult. However: the version of the game I understand we have to use has expanded greatly on that original SFAM game, adding a number of events and much more text—plus a second protagonist choice with mostly unique events and dialogue—while revising some of the existing script. Translating & editing all this new material, in addition to editing the entire script, old and new, for length and inserting it line-by-line, is unavoidably taking a good amount of time. While I've been presented with a method that attempts to create a script for the game using a combination of Google Translate, what I translated for the SFAM version, and guesses from non-translating members of the team, I strongly felt that the results did not deliver in terms of quality, accuracy, fluency, or characterization, so I asked, and was promised, complete responsibility for the script side of the project.

That's the reason for the delay. I, as the translator, am the rate-determining step. That's due to a decision I made for the quality of the project—I want to deliver a good patch, one that reflects the game & characters accurately and of which everyone can be proud—and the consequences of that decision are my responsibility. Given my current work rate, I'm going to shoot to complete the translation side of this project six months from now; emergencies or unexpected developments may change this, but I think it's doable.

That's the nutshell version, and I apologize to anyone whose hopes were gotten up by the announcement earlier in the year. There really isn't a way to short-circuit the time investment required for the translation, for reasons explained at length below. If you'd like a more in-depth explanation, please proceed past the cut.

A bit of background

I've been a longtime fan of a romance-oriented Japanese game & media franchise aimed at women that founded an entire gaming genre but, except for one TV series, has never had any sort of official release outside Japan. There'd been some talk in the fandom of how nice it would be if the franchise's foundational, genre-defining game, for the Super Famicom, finally got an English patch—for historical purposes; to give the franchise a bit more recognition outside Japan; just so that the English-speaking fans could play. However: the game's script was notoriously huge, and no one wanted to climb that mountain. (The game's lovey-dovey, frilly subject material also doesn't typically appeal to the folks who fill up romhacking.)

I was exactly the type of unreasonable person equipped for this task, however. I've been involved in hobby game-translation projects for…well, decades now. I also translate professionally and have worked in game translation on projects for Square, Sega, Bandai Namco, Koei, and others, as chronicled in part on this blog. I also had one huge advantage for this game: the publisher had released a book containing almost its entire script. It took a great deal of time, but a few years ago, I finished and posted a translation of the script book.

Attracting someone to insert this script into a patch, though, proved a problem. One obstacle, I learned, was the immediate lack of a file pairing the English translations with the Japanese lines; I'd thought I'd attack this once a patch project started and I got proper script dump files, but not having a paired version of what had been translated immediately prepared was a turnoff, I guess. I therefore set to work producing one. In the meantime, I was indeed contacted by a few folks with some interest in producing a patch, but I didn't subsequently hear of any progress.

About a year ago, though, shortly after I started on that "paired" version of the script, I was contacted by a very interested and motivated individual who claimed they could use the script to produce a patch for the game. One thing, however: there were issues with the coding of the SFAM version that made producing a patch for it prohibitively difficult. (I know very little of the tech side of producing patches and am not equipped to provide an explanation, but this was not the first time I'd heard this about the SFAM game. I had persisted in translating the SFAM script in the hopes that the issue was resolvable, as the SFAM version is the historic, genre-founding title and the folks with reservations self-admittedly hadn't looked very deeply, but evidently, the problem is indeed a serious obstacle.) As a solution, this person asked if I'd be willing to work on a patch for a later, more-technically-manageable rerelease of the game on the DS. I readily agreed.

A while after, two more folks joined the project on the tech side, evidently with a solution to an issue that was frustrating progress on the DS version. They offered to produce a version of the patch for the PS1 version alongside the DS version; I agreed. (I eventually learned, however, that this would involve extra work, that of producing a second version of the script to accommodate the PS1 version's different per-line character limits.)

What exactly are you doing right now?

In brief: when agreeing to produce a version of the script for the rereleases, I didn't anticipate how much they expanded on the original game.

While the original version has a single, set protagonist, the expanded versions allow you to choose to play as her rival. The choice isn't limited to a simple swapping out of names in dialogue; each protagonist has her own unique versions of events, plus unique dialogue from the nine love interests. (Some dialogue is shared, but about two-thirds of it, I'd say, is tailored to the choice of protagonist.)

Dialogue from the love interests has been greatly expanded to flesh out characterization. For example, in the original game, if you asked one of the love interests his opinion on one of the others, he'd respond with a generic message of approval, disapproval, or indifference based on his current regard for the other man. In the remakes, however, each love interest has a unique set of approval/disapproval/indifference messages for each of the other eight suitors. In other words, where there were once three different messages, there are now twenty-four, each on average significantly longer than the originals.

There are numerous new events and activities: cafe and skygazing dates, letter-writing, cooking, finding lost objects, etc., all with unique dialogue for each protagonist and love interest, making for a base of eighteen variations. Many have additional variations based on other parameters.

Some of the dialogue that's still present in the remake has been revised from the original.

Again: what I had originally produced was a text translation of the script book to the Super Famicom version of the game. The script book was not complete—it focused on exhaustive enumerations of love interest dialogue and elided NPC dialogue—but I believe it has about 90% of the original game's text. With the remake, though, there's a lot more work to do.

My tasks are numerous. The script files I've been given generally sort dialogue by event. For each file, I have to identify the specific event they concern, then go line by line to ascertain the speaker of each line and the circumstances under which each is said from context (as this information isn't marked) as well as determine if the text is old or new. If it's old, I have to find the translation in the script-book file and match it to the source text; if it's new, I have to translate it—and also check it against a new script book for the new version, as certain changeable or user-definable proper nouns, such as protagonist names and various locations an event can take place, are for tech reasons not reliably represented in the script dump files. For all dialogue, I have to edit translations to match character and line limits, putting in line breaks and sometimes rewording text or, as a last resort, cutting it—and since the character limit per line is different for the PS1 and DS versions, I have to produce two versions. (In fairness, I don't have to, but the extra space in the DS version is useful on occasion, and dialogue boxes might look odd if I don't use real estate properly.)

It's a lot. However: it's not that different than what I do as a professional game translator (with extra steps), and I'm uniquely equipped to tackle this particular job thanks to having translated the SFAM script book and being very familiar with the characters from following the franchise for years.

I can do all this, but it takes time. That's what holding up the patch.

No, AI can't help

Not long after the announcement, one of the team members informed me that they intended to produce the patch using a method where Google Translate versions of the script files were combined with parts of my original translation and guesses from non-translating members of the team as to what lines meant. They shared an example—an attempt at an English-language version of the introductory segment of the DS game produced using this method. (I had translated the SFAM introduction, but, as with all matters, the DS version greatly expanded on the SFAM version.) I had not been informed previously about this plan.

I took a look, and I felt very strongly that the results did not live up to the standard I wanted for this franchise's English-language debut. There were numerous errors in translation, spelling, grammar, and punctuation. The English used wasn't fluent. Characters no longer had unique voices—they all sounded the same, and characterization was completely absent.

(I have to say: despite the importance of the other issues, the gutting of characterization was the biggest knife for me. The game was so successful in pioneering its genre due in great part to its attention to characterization, which I worked hard to reflect in my translation. Seeing all that work torn up in favor of an AI translation that was not only not up to the task linguistically but torched everything that made the game unique frankly hurt.)

The Google Translate script is not exactly usable.

This isn't Google Translate's fault. The script files are typically formatted to present, line by line, just one side of a conversation in all its numerous variations—either for one love interest in all possible permutations (variants depending on your affinity with him etc.), or for all love interests who can have this conversation. There's no overt signal in the file that the speaker or scenario is shifting; you have to realize who's speaking and in what circumstances from context and speaking style. Google Translate can't glean the context it needs to deliver an effective translation when dialogue is presented in this manner, and you can't infuse it with the franchise or script knowledge it needs to make the right calls about speaker/scenario/etc.

Other obstacles: The dialogue is presented line by line, so Google Translate is going to translate line by line, which leads to choppy dialogue. Characterization is frequently communicated in elements like verb endings and sentence-ending particles that Google Translate overlooks or doesn't convert well or that can be translated in multiple ways depending on context. Conversations also have a number of short lines that are also heavily context-dependent, where trying to translate them context-free via the line-by-line method leads to inane translations. There are more; any experienced translator could probably expound further on why using Google Translate in this scenario is a bad idea. You need an experienced translator with franchise knowledge to tackle this project.

I also don't expect the folks on the technical side of the team to attempt to translate—it's not their job, any more than romhacking is my job.

I would have been derelict in my duty as a translator if I let the patch go forward in this state. I didn't, and don't, feel that a Google Translate patch would deliver any value—there are programs out there that can Google Translate dialogue boxes in roms automatically, if that's what you want. This is a historic game, and I feel it deserves a patch that showcases the qualities that made it special for its English-language debut. If we delivered a patch that was incoherent and characterless, the franchise would be tainted in the English market, and the team would be nailed to the wall. From my job, being the one equipped to gauge quality in this department, I knew what public reception of a patch in this state would be, and I didn't want the rest of the team or me to suffer that. (To be selfish, a poor-quality patch would also have professional repercussions for me, as pros do watch the fan scene, and trying to pass off AI, much less AI that's not up to the task, as your own work is, rightfully, a huge black mark on your reputation.) Also, to be blunt: I didn't start this project years ago to spit AI all over this game.

I sent them an email explaining the issues above to the relevant team member, and I asked to have full responsibility for the script side of the project. They agreed.

There was also an attempt by a team member to use AI to help with editing that didn't bear fruit. One of the non-translating team members tried to help with my workload by taking the lines I'd edited for the 38-character DS line length and trying to re-edit them for the 33-character PS1 line length with AI assistance. I was not initially informed of this difference in line lengths or the need for two scripts. I discovered it only upon accessing the group versions of the script files on the cloud drive and discovering that a number of formatting and translation errors had been introduced into files I'd previously edited, some rather basic: the Japanese verb for "to eat" had been mistaken for the one meaning "to rest," for instance. Upon inquiring, I discovered what had happened, and as a result, it was clarified that I would be handling editing for both versions and reworking the files affected to restore the translation and remove the errors produced. I appreciate the attempt to alleviate my workload, but there's by nature a hard linguistic wall involved with editing, and the attempt just created more work.

So the other team members have experimented with using AI, but it hasn't produced anything usable—honestly, it just kind of screws up everything it touches. (If I'd been aware of the attempts to use AI on the project beforehand, I would have reached out and explained why they wouldn't have worked.) I'll state right now that my vision for this patch absolutely does not, and never did, include Google Translate or other AI or LLMs: as a professional translator, I have no need to use AI to translate; it would not expedite the translation due to the particulars detailed above; and I care too much about the quality of this project to farm any part of it out to AI. I mention it because a lot of folks, particularly tech folks, have more confidence in AI than I do, having worked with it extensively for my job and knowing well its capabilities and limitations. It can be useful in certain situations, but it's not omnipotent, and it's not suited for this project.

"Hey, would it help to get an additional translator?"

Honestly, not at this point, no, for several reasons.

One, the work to be done requires a great deal of previous familiarity with the script. Remember, the script for the roms exists in a bunch of files with the lines are generally (but not always) sorted by event, where the individual speakers and the nature of the event itself have to be inferred from context or just plain recognized from experience. The lines also aren't typically organized to present a complete conversation, usually going through all the iterations of one side of the conversation character by character. A good deal of the work is recognizing context and speakers for the lines and whether they're already-translated material or entirely new or old lines that have been changed, so that existing translations can be matched or new, context-appropriate translations can be written. You really need to know your way around the script to do that. I'm equipped to do that, since I've translated the script book for the SFAM version; that's a tall ask for someone coming in cold. We tried it previously, and it didn't work. (It also helps if you have previous familiarity with the characters and how they speak, not only to identify when they're speaking, but to translate what they're saying in a character-appropriate manner. The latter isn't impossible without that familiarity—it's how games are typically translated—but it's way easier if you come in with that knowledge.)

Two, this is a character-intensive game with a huge amount of nuanced character writing to reflect in the English translation, and that calls for a certain degree of translation and just plain writing ability. Many of the devices used to communicate that nuance are easily overlooked unless you have a lot of translation experience. (I'm speaking from my own development as a translator here: you can reach a point where declarative sentences like the narration in a world guide or Ultimania are within your grasp but the nuances of conversation are just going to elude you.) Plus: even if you identify and understand the Japanese text, you still have to be able to phrase it in English fluently, in an accurate and character-appropriate manner. This whole set of skills is another ask.

Three, this is a niche title for the West whose massive script was notorious for repelling translators. "Hey, guess what! I'm working on a version that I've discovered is even more massive and interminable!" does not make the project more enticing.

Four, it's way harder to vet translators nowadays, and it would consume resources on my end I'd rather put toward getting the dang thing done. The rise of LLMs has given rise to a number of folks eager to take over translation duties on a project who have just one or two semesters of Japanese but think Google Translate can make up for the rest. (You might say, "hold on, you just mentioned that this project repels translators; why would someone like that sign up for this?", but that's kind of the thing: it'd attract those who don't know enough to know what they're getting into.) In a conversation- and context-heavy project like this, where AI is going to fall down hard, those people are going to hit a wall very quickly, which leads to difficult conversations that I'd really rather not have—but would have to have, since I'm the translator who started this whole thing, and it's my responsibility to deliver a quality product.

Furthermore, a lot of this can be difficult to communicate to the type of people who would be most enthusiastic about AI at the present moment. I love you, tech people. I love you. But I have gotten the impression over the years that some tech folks in the rom-patching scene regard translators and translations as kind of valueless and interchangeable because, you know, words are all the same, who really cares. It's already an uphill battle to convince some folks that words, the type of words you use, matter, and I'm afraid my forces are already fully engaged on one front (the script itself).

Even if the volunteer were heaven-sent, due diligence in ascertaining their divine status would take a lot of energy, and after the stumbles we've had, I just want to get this done, and just want to rely on a method I know from experience will work instead of chasing down more blind alleys.

Real-life issues! We've got real-life issues here!

I will also note, by way of explanation, that I have had a number of personal things happen that have resulted in delays on my end, which I will recite here for entertainment's sake: I got bronchitis twice in succession (I had it for a week, got better for a week, and then got it again, worse, for another week) and became as sick as I've been in my adult life. There's been an issue with a property in my family to which I've had to tend, involving lawyers extensively. I got an opportunity this year to work professionally on one of the most storied franchises in gaming, to which I had to dedicate a suitable amount of time, as well as other professional translation projects that demanded my attention. I've had to travel extensively for personal reasons, and not fun, vacation-type travel—travel that involved a good deal of work, physical and professional. I had fallout from a client who wanted me to cheat on my taxes to cover for an accounting issue on their end and submitted falsified documents to the IRS. Also, after a lifetime of avoiding, by luck or otherwise, such situations, I have had a problem with being harassed by not one but two completely unrelated individuals, one of whom became physically violent with me. (Not very successfully, but the attempt itself was disturbing.)

To paraphrase from Jurassic Park, I'm sure, dear reader, you are sorry for my problems, but they are my problems. But I recite this to communicate it's not been all Lazy Translator Fun Time over here, and at times, though my spirit has been willing to work on this translation, my schedule has been weak. Or too strong, rather. This doesn't make the delay go down any more easily, but it has been a practical concern.

---

So that's the status report. In brief: I'm asking for six months to get this done, AI-free, and I thank you for your patience (both with the delay and in reading this).

[lightning-will-bovino]

For @thehandworld , I've put the messages together so it's easier to go the whole thing together. It's a bit edited. Tell me if there's more info you want to add.

Aftermath

-In Gokudera's Office-

"Lambo, How long have you had Yamamoto's cock up your ass?" While calmly doing his paperwork on his desk while Lambo is standing up in front of the desk.

Lambo is nervous and blushing. "...less than a month..."

"Did you two consider in like... locking the fucking door? Or like... not to do close to my office?"

Another level of blush was added to Lambo's face. "I DID lock the door...Yamamoto must've unlocked it. As in why not another room...Yamamoto's office was getting cleaned..."

"Did you consider that he wanted you two to get caught?"

"He was smirking when the...threesome happened." Lambo sat down on the couch since he felt his legs wobble when the dots connected that Yamamto wanted this to happen.

"Oh really? Im going to fuck him later then." He honestly didn't mind the ambiguous/open relationship, but it would be best to fix that now. "So what do you wish for? I did have sex with him before, but I don't want to make anything uncomfortable"

Lambo's eyes widened and looked elsewhere. "Well, I, we, never gave a full dive deep into what we are. He tried to say we're more than 'just friends'...I've teased him enough that we just ended up fucking..."

Gokudera kinda facepalms as he gets his phone and texts on it. "Mhmmm, so wouldn't be nice to actually put a name?"

"Friends-with-benefits? I don't know," Lambo sighs. "This started when I entered his room while he was busy, use him to direct your sister elsewhere by making it look like he's fucking someone, he trapped me, I tease him, he teases me, and well, fuck marathons afterward. How do you call that?"

"Friends with benefits with a dubious question of is that only that?" As the storm was typing aggressively on his phone. "Why didn't you two talk about it? Even if is just sex and nothing else, you two should have talked about it."

"We'll try..." Lambo purses his lips. 'Let's hope my mouth isn't full of dick or have enough free time to not just do a quicky.' Lambo thought sarcastically.

Text Between Gokudera and Yamamoto:

Dera: Get your ass at my office

Yama: If this is about work, Im busy

Dera: its about your fucking time with Lambo

Yama: im definitely busy

Dera: TAKESHI GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE NOW!

Yama: Can't Im fucking Lambo

Dera: ... he is right in front of me

Yama: [doesn't answer]

Dera: Im sending Uri

Gokudera makes Uri appear in her full glory. "Bring Yamamoto Takeshi to me, do whatever it needs."

Seeing Uri out, Lambo is confused and a bit sorry for the other man as he sees the big leopard dart out of the office. "Should I leave or...?" He's confused about what's going on.

"You sit down and wait. She is just going to grab an idiot." As the storm just relaxes and looks at the younger. "Anyway, if you don't want the cat chasing you, we are going to talk and figure this out."

Yamamoto is avoiding them both, mostly because he knows Dera is pissed at his lack of consent with Lambo.

"At least this isn't like my last ex-!" Lambo froze because he never mentioned in detail what happened. He simply said they had broken up and preferred not to think about it too much. In his mind, it was not 'that' bad, but for the others, it may be bad even if he took care of the situation.

[In context, Lambo has experienced relationships, but he rarely brings them up. Especially since they don't last long and have yet to meet the family. The last two exes...well, Lambo knows what to Look Out for in a relationship.

Lambo may or may not have done some pro-revenge on them. Not enough to take the Lightning to jail, but he did enough revenge for their reputations and put the exes into deep debt.]

Something told Hayato that he shouldn't poke it but at the same time. "You know, if you wanna talk about it, I'm more than happy to hear. I will understand if you don't wanna talk, tho." He takes his cigarette and starts smoking.

Lambo bit his bottom lip and gave a bit of info. "Let's just say I've dealt with it...And the ex was a gaslighter, and...I didn't want anything of mine to be memorabilia for his collection. He no longer has a collection."

"Okay. I trust you, Lambo." He relaxes as he smokes. "I mean, there is no crime I can't hide, so if you wanna do anything else, I'd sure know how to hide it." After all, they are in the mafia world, where Hayato is second in command of the Vongola Family. "Are you okay now?"

"About the ex? Yeah, they are in deep debt for years, and you know if one doesn't pay, they go to jail... About Yamamoto? I'm not sure, but I know "just sex" isn't ideal for the long run... but I'm not taking this seriously since well. Is this serious? I don't know if I'm making sense."

He smokes while hearing the younger and then sighs. "Lambo, you are making sense more importantly, I also wanna know if you want to take this seriously. Also, did you consider being a poly with me? Because quite honestly, I don't fuck just for fuck." Was he confessing in the middle of this? Yes. Does he care? Not exactly.

"I want to...take a relationship seriously, but...I don't if this one can be...this isn't my first 'sex friend' I had, but even those didn't last long." Lambo again bites his bottom lip as he looks elsewhere. "Poly never occurred to me until you've mentioned it. You and Yamamoto are fine together. Right now, I don't...see myself in that picture...."

Why is his vision starting to water? Lambo is stunned that he's shedding a few tears.

It's like one of those crying that doesn't happen until you talk. You're optimistic or neutral until you talk in-depth about what's happening to you.

He looks at Lambo, getting up and sitting at his side if he wants to lean against him, gently caressing his head. "It's okay, I understand what you mean. But Lambo, I would never join if I didn't want to be with you too." As he thinks a bit. "If you are scared, how about this, let the three of us go out, and see how we stay together?"

Lambo wiped a few tears and looked at Gokudera. There's silence between them as Lambo opened his mouth a few times but no sound comes out. "I-,"

*Boom* *Thump*

Before Lambo can answer, Uri comes into the office, making both of them turn towards the door, as she drags Yamamoto by the scruff of his suit with her teeth.

[bobwess]

May I offer you another fanfic?

[In this trying time? One-shot. Finale fix-it. SPN. Deancas.] (D'yer Ma'ker also on Ao3)

(It got a polishing before it went on ao3: this is copied from my fanfiction net account so there may be slight editing errors or repetition.)

Sam had been walking past Dean's room when he heard the phone ring. He considered letting it go to voicemail, but Dean wouldn't be back from a breakfast run for another half hour, and if they knew Dean's number, someone could really be hurt.

The younger hunter froze when he heard the voice on the other end. "Cas?"

"Sam…"

"How-?"

"Jack brought me back." There was a pause that sounded like Cas was struggling to describe whatever just happened. "I still don't… I'm a bit more than an hour away. I wanted to let you know-"

"No, Cas." Sam said firmly, feeling a wave of concern. "Don't… not uh… not here."

The angel on the other line went notably quiet.

Sam closed his eyes. "I mean… let me come out and meet you. Where are you exactly?"

"Fairbury."

"Nebraska?"

"Yes."

"I'll come to you. Open the phone book and meet me at the first motel on the list."

Cas paused again, but finally he let out his breath. "Alright."

.

Sam pulled up outside a bland motel with a sign that looked like it hadn't been touched since the fifties. He clocked the familiar tan coat right away, and he picked up the pace. He grabbed a bag from the back of the car and took a deep breath to ground himself. It didn't help.

Sam only began to relax half way through testing him. Silver, holy water, borax. He kept at it until he was running down every test he'd ever heard of, including several he'd only recently read about in Men of Letters texts.

Cas was quiet during each step, obeying each request with an expression that reflected understanding for the scrutiny.

Sam looked at him warily. "Your grace…"

Cas nodded, pulling enough grace that his eyes reflected a soft blue instead of the glowing red Sam was worried about.

The younger hunter let out a breath, his shoulders sagging in relief. "Sorry, man."

"How long has it been?" Cas brushed it off.

"Almost two and a half months." He sat down on the chair opposite him. "We didn't think you were coming back." Sam frowned. "At first we thought maybe Jack would bring you back, but he didn't answer our prayers and… well, we sort of thought that was it."

"It took him some time to figure out how to get in there."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, okay."

Cas considered his next question for a moment, not sure what answer he wanted to hear. "Dean didn't want to-"

"I didn't tell him." Sam cut in. "I left a note saying I was going out for a bit."

Cas gave a short nod. "You didn't want to tell him before you knew it was me."

"He just barely has started to come to terms with it." Sam admitted softly. "I couldn't undo that if…"

"If I wasn't me."

Sam nodded.

Cas bowed his head. "I have to talk to him."

"Yeah." Sam said softly. "Let me break the news to him first."

Cas studied him for a moment. "Alright."

.

It was after midnight by the time they reached Lebanon.

Cas looked up at the decaying factory looming overhead as Sam pulled to a stop in front of their recessed entrance. He felt something in him stir before he swiftly clamped down on it, trying to focus on the facts.

He was home.

His resolve immediately wavered. Was he home? He left Dean with his last confession… the chances they could go back to the way things were felt slim. He didn't think Dean would ask him to leave; Dean would feel too guilty. It would be up to him to determine if it was uncomfortable enough he should go anyway.

Cas shoved it down again. No use speculating. It was time to just see what happened. He followed Sam down the cement steps and through the heavy metal door. He closed his eyes, feeling the sound reverberate through the map room and library, the sound so familiar it almost hurt. He hadn't realized how much he ached for this. To be here again. To come back.

He must've hesitated just too long, and Sam caught on. "He's not here."

Cas looked at him.

"He's, in his words, bar hopping and looking for chicks."

"Oh."

Sam rolled his eyes. "He has the impala parked about a mile into the woods." He started down the stairs ahead of Cas. " It's, what, 2am? If he hasn't drank himself unconscious by now, he will shortly."

"He-"

"Every night for a month now."

Cas shut his mouth, taking in that new information. He felt a small shudder down his spine as he tried to sort it through. "I see." He settled at last.

"Come on. Make yourself at home." Sam threw him a sheepish glance. "I am going to head to sleep if that's alright. It's been a long night, and I'd like to be back from my run in time to talk to Dean."

"Of course." Cas said easily.

"Alright." Sam stopped, giving Cas one last long look. "I'm glad you're back." He said. "Good night."

After Sam left, Cas stood for a moment, completely unsure of where to go or what to do. It felt almost made up, as if this was perhaps just another torture, another illusion dreamed up by the empty. But he knew it wasn't. The empty could only show him sins of his past, and this definitely didn't happen before.

He stopped in the library, eyes finding the table almost immediately. He took a step forward, following the new additions to Sam and Dean's name carved into the wood. He felt his chest clench, and for a moment he was horrified with the strength of the emotions that came from seeing it.

It felt like something, something he couldn't put a word to.

He decided to leave it for a time he was better equipped to deal with that.

It was by instinct that he found his way to the room Dean had dubbed his. He had initially thought it was silly, Dean giving a room to him when he was an angel. Deep down he knew Dean was compensating for throwing him out when he was newly human. He had forgiven Dean for that a long time ago, but he knew that would not slow Dean's insistence on torturing himself. Thus, he accepted the room without argument.

Inside was still mostly bare. There was a thin layer of dust that confirmed no one had been inside in weeks, but still it was clear that someone had been in at some point after he had died.

The bed was pristinely made; In fact the whole room was neater than he left it.

Hung carefully over the chair was a green jacket with a rusted bloody handprint on the shoulder. On the desk was a straw hat, and a mixtape with a hand written label. Tucked underneath was a photograph Dean had forced Sam to take.

"Texas Rangers." Dean had said, clearly beyond pleased that they had been mistaken for such. "Come on, Cas. Give us your best blue steel." He hadn't known what Dean meant, but he did his best to mimic his expression, and it must have done alright because Dean seemed pleased with the result.

Cas recognized that this was the type of memorial that Dean might put together in lieu of a headstone. He ran his hand over the sleeve of the jacket, vaguely remembering grabbing Dean's shoulder and pushing him from danger. He hadn't noticed the mark he was leaving behind.

His expression settled into a sad smile. The irony of his first and last contact mimicking so closely was not lost on him. The symmetry was almost poetic, though he supposed it was somewhat spoiled by his return. He knew Dean wouldn't think of it that way.

He retreated once more, deciding to walk the halls and reacquaint himself with this place he hoped he might still call home.

.

Dean sprang awake, jumping upright so fast he caught his side on the steering wheel, causing a sharp bite of pain to shudder up his ribs. He hissed before taking a minute to try to slow his breathing to a more reasonable pace. He scrubbed his hand over his face, trying to blur the memory of the dream.

He took a final shaky breath before straightening up on the bench. He looked around, trying to find a landmark, something to focus him. The steel walls of the car felt like they were getting closer, crushing in on him.

Dean decided to take advantage of the adrenaline rush to find his way back home. He wasn't sober, but was guilty to admit head driven in worse shape before.

When he saw Sam's car outside he pulled around into the garage. Walking inside, he considered briefly going to his room and trying to get a few more hours of restless sleep, but decided against it. He was still too wound up from his rough awakening. He instead turned and headed towards the kitchen on auto-pilot.

The gentle hum of the industrial fridge somehow felt oppressive. He considered not for the first time that he should really invest in a pair of headphones that could play nice with his phone. Sure, they wouldn't be as good as the ones for his laptop, but honestly the silence was killing him.

During the day he could fill his time. Talking with Sam, occasionally taking a case. But there were too many moments with too much room for thinking. That wasn't good for him. Or at least not when he was in a mood like this.

It took a moment to realize he was staring into the fridge, the cold seeping out sending a shiver up his spine. He vaguely looked down, noticing for the first time that he had left without a jacket; No wonder he had felt cold in the impala. October was bringing the first whispers of cold.

Right. Still staring into the fridge. Moving on auto-pilot Dean began piling things on the counter. He turned on the stove, staring at the flame for a second before he remembered to grab a pan and put it down to heat up.

He felt like he was swimming. Like his body was moving on its own. He was just a passenger, drifting with the tide.

And apparently making breakfast.

He set a carton of eggs on the counter.

Normally he wouldn't be doing this until a more reasonable hour of morning. Though, he reasoned, normally he wouldn't have stumbled back in until almost seven. He usually timed it to try and get back while Sam was out on his morning run.

Maybe this was better. If he hurried, maybe he could eat and be done before Sam ever woke up. Catch a few more hours of… well, probably not sleep, but he could lay down on his bed with his headphones on and block out the world for a bit. Then he could emerge and they'd start their day. Maybe he'd look for a case. Maybe he'd try to find something else to do. Maybe Sam would be up to a day outside the bunker.

No, he remembered. Sam had plans to go to Eileen's for a few days. Fine. Case it is.

Dean had been taking more cases on his own. With Sam backing up Eileen, he didn't feel he had a choice. Sometimes he told Sam before he left, other times he'd call with an update from the road. Sometimes he'd never tell him at all. He was aware it probably wasn't the best practice, but he really couldn't stop himself.

He looked at the pan, and then at the stove, frowning as he realized the pan was way too hot. He sighed, turning down the heat, resigning himself to the fact that he'd have to wait for it to cool again before he could add the eggs. Waiting again. Yeah, maybe I'll buy some headphones tomorrow.

.

Cas was so far lost inside his thoughts he was surprised to have completely missed hearing the obvious signs that Dean had returned. He was entirely unprepared to turn the corner of the kitchen and find himself within feet of the hunter.

Dean's back was turned to him, and he froze, with no idea what to do.

"What the hell are you doing up so early?" Dean asked, assuming the figure behind him was his brother. "Nevermind. You want eggs?"

Cas opened his mouth but he had no idea what to say.

"Just gonna stand there and-" Dean turned, green eyes meeting blue, and a deafening shock split through him, as a fresh wave of adrenaline took hold again. He moved back, bumping the stove, hissing as his arm swung back and into the searing hot pan.

"Dean-" Cas said, acting on instinct and reaching out a gentle hand. He had just grazed Dean's arm with the intention of healing him when Dean wrenched out of Cas' touch, quickly rounding the kitchen counter, keeping it between them.

Dean reached back for a gun, coming up empty, and cursing his stupidity for ever leaving the bunker unarmed. He acted on instinct, grabbing a knife from the butcher's block and holding it at the ready. "You're not here." He accused, so quietly Cas wouldn't have picked it up without his angelic hearing..

"Jack brough-"

"No." Dean cut him off. His voice betrayed a bone deep exhaustion, but it was firm. "Jack brought everyone back months ago. Not you."

"It took him time."

"Bullshit."

Sam had been readying to head out on his morning jog a bit early when he heard the voices. "Shit." He had been hoping he'd have more time before Dean was home… he needed to break the news himself. Too late now. He hurried his step, walking in just as Dean tightened his hand on the knife, gauging whether or not to use it.

The air felt fragile, and he took care to walk into the room slowly. "Dean, put down the knife."

Dean didn't move, keeping his gaze directly at Cas.

Sam put his hands up slightly, trying to diffuse some of the tension. "It's him. I've run him through every test we know how to do."

"No, Sam. It's just Lucifer." Dean closed his eyes. "It's just a dream."

Sam's face scrunched. "No Dean, it's not."

"It always is." Dean waited. Every night he has the nightmare. He gets the call and goes running. He's on a case and he sees him. A hundred variations on getting Cas back, and it's always Lucifer.

"Not this time." Sam shook his head. "It's him."

No one moved, the blanket of silence punctuated only by the gas flame of the stove and the old fridge.

Both Cas and Sam flinched when Dean threw the knife onto the metal table, the sound feeling as loud as a gunshot after the extended quiet. "No." He repeated firmly. "It's not." Ignoring Sam's repeated pleas to stay, Dean turned on heel and left.

Sam watched him go, debating on whether or not to follow him, but he didn't really think it would help any. Dean needed to calm down, and maybe sober up before it would do any good to try to explain. Feeling suddenly exhausted, he made sure to switch off the stove before sinking down at the table.

"He's just…" Sam struggled to find a way to word it. "He's covering for how freaked he is."

Cas stared at the door, feeling an almost unbearable wave of disappointment. He blinked a few times, watching Sam sit and deciding to sit across from him.

"Dean has been pretty messed up." Sam looked over at him. "A couple of days after you…after you two faced Death, Lucifer got into the bunker. He called Dean's phone using your voice, asking to be let inside."

Cas closed his eyes. "Jack neglected to mention that in his summary of events."

"I think it's going to take a bit of time to really believe it's you." He sighed, taking a moment. "Cas, whatever happened down there. He couldn't get past it."

"Did he-"

"No, he never talked about it." Sam confirmed, guessing where the question was going. "And it's not my business, but Dean's barely had a handle on it." He shook his head. "He's covering now… and that's good. It's progress. Right after… well. I was worried about him." He gave a short humorless laugh. "Who am I kidding, I'm still worried about him. He's grinding. Case after case, without me most times."

"Alone?"

Sam nodded. "And when he's here… He calls your name sometimes, when he's dreaming. He won't talk about them but…" He sighed. "We didn't think you were coming back. After the phone call. After Jack brought everyone back but you. We really didn't think you were coming back."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to tell me that."

"I'll tell him too."

.

Dean didn't allow himself to process a single thought between the kitchen and the exit. It was only after the bunker's main door clang shut behind him that he realized he had no idea where he was going.

With the impala in the garage, he didn't have a real course of action. He could hot-wire Sam's car, but he didn't really know where to go. He stumbled slightly, balancing himself against the cool concrete for a second. Still drunk. Also a reason not to steal Sam's ride.

He shivered slightly, realizing he had still failed to grab his coat. Oh well. It's not like you can do anything now.

Nothing made sense.

It was Lucifer. It was always Lucifer. That never changed. He never got away before it happened. He had never made it outside, to be greeted with the painful lack of wildlife sounds, to feel the uncomfortable cold against his bare arms.

It was always Lucifer.

But this time it wasn't.

Deep down he felt something give. This time it wasn't. It happened too differently. It felt too real. He ran his fingers over his arm. His blistered skin barely registered over the sheer panic he felt coursing through his body. He could hear his blood pounding in his ears.

Jack brought him back. It took him time.

No. He thought. It isn't true.

But it was.

Cas was back.

Static filled his head, that looping thought the only one that stuck.

Cas was back.

Cas was back.

He didn't know what to do with that. He couldn't do anything with that. It couldn't be. Impossible. Never going to happen.

It's real.

.

Sam decided to forgo his morning run, wanting to be there to run interference whenever Dean finally decided to come back inside. Once changed, he settled into the library to listen for his brother's return. It didn't come.

So he read. And read. Occasionally he'd glance up at the entrance, waiting as if staring at the door would will it to open. But it didn't.

At half past two, Sam glanced at his watch, frowning, feeling a small twinge of concern, followed quickly by a swiftly settling dread. His car. He acknowledged for the first time there was a high possibility his brother wasn't there at all.

Sam pulled himself to his feet, trying to force himself to be casual, setting aside the book and stretching. He fought to keep his pace slow and steady as he traced Dean's path out of the bunker, stepping into the chilled mid-afternoon air. He blinked a few times, the sun somewhat blinding. He looked around, squinting against the light reflected back against the lingering dampness from the morning frost, making the ground almost glitter. His gaze finally found his brother.

Dean had clearly broken into his car, but he hadn't gone anywhere. Instead both rear doors were wide open, and Dean was laid across the bench seat on his back. His legs were crossed, feet hanging out the other side, and his head rested in the door frame closest to him. He was staring up at the car roof. "Dude… you're letting bugs in." Sam muttered before he could help himself.

"Too cold. Not many bugs." Dean said absently, shifting slightly to try and wrap his arms a little closer to his chest.

Sam sighed, walking up and leaning against the closed driver door. He resigned himself to quietly waiting for Dean to say something.

"You're sure it's him?"

"Completely."

Dean closed his eyes, a hand coming up to push back his hair and rest on his head. He took a slightly unsteady breath, letting it out slow. He didn't open his eyes. "How?"

Sam scuffed the dirt with his shoe, resting his heel against a small rock. "He says Jack got him out. That it took him a long time to figure out how to get in."

"Mmh." Dean took another slow breath, trying to pull his head back from the weird detached static that had yet to fade. Sam repeating Cas' earlier words didn't make it feel any more real.

"I really did everything. It's really him."

"I know." Dean heaved himself upright, swinging his legs around to face Sam, sitting on the edge of the seat. He had finally come to terms with it. "Don't know what to do about that."

"You could try talking to him."

"Yeah." But Dean's tone made it seem unlikely he would seek out doing so.

"You want to talk about it?"

"No."

Sam pushed himself off the side of the car. "Alright. Well. Close the doors when you head back in."

"Mmhmm." Dean frowned. "Thanks. For checking him."

"Yeah."

Dean let his thoughts wander again as he listened to the door to the bunker swing shut again.

.

His hope of avoiding Cas for the time being evaporated the second he pushed open the door to his room.

There, standing in the middle of the room, was Cas. Looking exactly the same as the day he left.

"Dean." He sounded a little unsure, clearly second guessing his decision to meet Dean there.

"Cas." He was unable to put any tone into the word, body completely still, standing in the doorway.

"I thought we should talk."

"You thought wrong." Dean forced himself to move despite his brain screaming at him to not. He walked over to his desk, sitting down at the desk and hoping Cas took the hint. He opened his laptop, pulling up the article he was reading before and tried to be convincing that he was reading it.

Cas didn't leave. "Dean-"

"I said you thought wrong." Dean repeated, firmer this time, and with an edge.

Cas hesitated, staring at the back of his head. "I'm sorry."

The hunter stood so suddenly Cas almost jumped. "I had nothing, you asshole. The empty came and took you, and I didn't even have a body to burn." He clenched his fist. "All I had was my coat with your god damn hand print on it. And I-" he broke off.

"Dean…" Cas said softly, reaching out.

Dean flinched, dodging his touch. He took a moment to breathe, trying to hold on, trying to keep that barrier up, to deflect, dodge, run. He could do none of it.

Dean's shoulders slumped, and he instantly felt so defeated. He couldn't look at Cas when he spoke again, instead keeping his eyes intently on the floor. "It didn't feel real… I… every other time, when we didn't have a body, you… you always came back. When Lucifer… the second time he… I. After Jack was born. When we burned you, it felt real. This time… I don't know, I let myself hope." He shifted his gaze to the wall. "It was worse. The hope. When it finally faded."

"I'm sorry."

"Fuck you."

Cas closed his eyes.

The fire returned. "Fuck you, and your sorry. Fuck you for every single time you died." He resumed pacing. "Fuck you for every time you left. Fuck you for every time you lied to my face." He rounded on the angel. "Fuck you for dumping that on me and then just letting it take you."

"I never meant-"

"Go to hell." Dean spat.

Cas gave a small sad smile, attempting to breathe some scrap of humor into the situation. "Again?"

Dean wasn't phased, and his cold glare never wavered. "You kept it from me."

"Which part?"

The hunter reacted violently, swiping across his desk and dumping everything to the floor, bottles and lamp breaking on impact. "Everything." He kicked the last intact beer bottle into the wall with enough force that it too shattered. "You knew about your deal for over a year." He came to a stop in the middle of the room. "I forgave the kid, whatever. Jack was just doing whatever you said to do."

"I didn't think-"

"Yeah, you never do."

"I didn't think it would ever come to claim me." Cas finished.

Dean stared at him, expression set.

"True happiness should be inaccessible to an angel." He said softly, trying to make Dean understand. "I could feel it… but I knew… I thought I knew that it would never be enough to claim me when you couldn't-"

"When I couldn't what, Cas?"

"You know what." Cas' quiet words were such a contrast to the harshness in Dean's tone.

"And what about me? Hmm? You were so busy thinking about yourself you didn't think once about me."

Cas looked startled by the accusation. "Dean… of course I thought about you… that's why-"

"That's why you kept it from me."

"You couldn't do anything to get me out of that deal. I wouldn't have let you risk Jack's life like that."

"Not the deal." Dean hissed through clenched teeth.

"Oh." Cas said softly, realizing he meant what he had confessed. He was quiet for a moment. "I never intended to tell you. I am sorry that I had to in such a way."

"You didn't think I deserved to know; Didn't think I deserved to figure out what to do with that?"

"There was nothing you had to do." Cas said softly.

"I deserved to make the choice."

"Dean-"

"I killed myself. Did you know that?"

Cas' eyes widened with confused concern. "What?"

"The last time you died, after Jack was born." His flat tone didn't soften. "I killed myself on a case, and I asked Billie to keep me dead."

The angel was silent, looking at Dean with an unreadable expression.

"So don't tell me how the fuck I feel."

Cas opened his mouth, but he wasn't sure what to say. The room closed in on them, the silence almost smothering.

"Whatever. I need some damn air." Dean said quickly, turning and starting towards the door again, this time planning on heading towards the garage. He needed to put some distance between himself and the bunker. A few states ought to do it.

"Dean…" Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean whipped around, fist flying and hitting Cas square in the jaw. Cas hardly flinched and Dean had to suppress a reaction to the shooting pain in his knuckles. "You left." He repeated, raising his hands and roughly shoving Cas.

The angel stepped back, eyeing him carefully, guilt washing over him again as he watched Dean come undone.

The hunter couldn't help the warmth growing in his face, the moisture he could feel collect at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over.

"I'm sorry." Cas said again quietly.

The tears fell. "I love you."

Cas' brows furrowed. "You-"

He was cut off as Dean stepped forward, roughly grabbing him and dragging him into a desperate embrace. The kind that always followed when Cas came back from the dead. But this time didn't end in an awkward pat on the back and a hasty retreat. This time the hunter hung on for dear life, as if worried Cas would disappear the moment he let go.

Tentatively Cas raised his arms, wrapping them around Dean's back. He let the side of his face lean against Dean's head, his mind settling into a dizzying static as he failed to process what was happening.

"You were gone so fast." Dean whispered, not pulling away. "I didn't get to say it." He tightened his grip. "I never knew you-" his voice broke. "I didn't think you-"

"I have loved you for a very long time."

"You're an asshole." Dean breathed, feeling another hot flash of anger jolt through him, but he couldn't step back.

Cas pulled his hand up and cupped it at the base of Dean's head. He gave themselves just enough space for Dean to look up at him before he pressed their lips together. He tensed slightly, waiting for Dean to realize, to pull away, to take it back at any second. He greedily tried to memorize every detail. The curve of his mouth, the hot flush across his cheeks, the taste of the salt from his tears.

Dean broke the kiss, but instead of moving away, he just put his head down to lean on the angel's shoulder. "I love you, Cas." he repeated, his voice barely audible.

"I didn't know."

It was Dean's turn. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

Dean pulled back from the hug, but kept Cas' coat balled tightly in his hands, preventing him from moving. "I can't-" He choked. "If you leave again… if you die, I won't survive it."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

Dean swayed slightly, feeling light headed as the last scrap of adrenaline fizzled out. "I need some air." He breathed, repeating his earlier sentiment.

Cas gently untangled Dean's fingers from his coat. He kept his hand on Dean's arm, starting to lead him towards the bunker door. Wordlessly they navigated the hallways and map room before finally climbing the stairs and opening the heavy metal door at the top yet again.

Dean didn't visibly react until the crisp evening air finally hit his skin, causing an involuntary shudder. He took a moment to appreciate standing in front of the bunker twice to get his head on straight. He took a few steps away from Cas, turning and slowly leaning back against Sam's car. "Fuck."

Cas stayed standing, a few feet in front of him, careful to give him a little space.

Dean raised a shaky hand and deliberately ran it under both eyes, efficiently wiping away the last tears from his face. He took a deep breath, watching his breath glinting in the last weak rays of sunlight. "I didn't think you were coming back. I thought this was it, man."

"I did not think I would either."

"If this isn't real-"

"It is." Cas cut in, desperate to end that line of thinking. "I am." He debated with himself for a second before walking to lean on the car next to him, abandoning his earlier concerns about crowding Dean. He was reassured when Dean immediately rearranged himself to lean against his shoulder. "I'm really here."

"Yeah." Dean breathed. "It's just gonna take me a minute."

"Take all the time you need." Cas shifted and put his arm around Dean, pulling the hunter a little closer to him.

Dean closed his eyes, breathing him in. "Do you think we can really have this?"

"If you will allow me to give it, you can have every part of me. Anything you ask of me, if it is in my power, I will not hesitate."

"Okay, no need to write a damn poem." Dean replied, rolling his eyes, but it had the desired effect. A small smile danced on his lips, and the tension had bled away from his shoulders.

"I meant what I said, Dean. Before I summoned the Empty."

"I heard you."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Dean was surprised by how natural that felt to say already. He closed his eyes again, feeling a spike of adrenaline as his mind latched onto the possibility that this actually was a dream, soon to be a particularly cruel nightmare, and this would all be ripped from him.

Cas noticed the shift, but decided it wouldn't help to just repeat himself. He changed tactics, aiming to distract. "You added our names to the table."

Dean looked up, surprised by the leap in conversation. "Yeah."

"It is a touching gesture."

"I thought you'd appreciate the irony. Using your full name." Dean said with a weak but genuine smile. "Sam said the ending, -iel or whatever means 'Of God'. Jack's God now. Thought you would want the title back."

Cas' expression was warm. "I do appreciate it."

"Sorry I shortened your name so early."

"It turned out to be somewhat prophetic." Cas said. "And besides, in your words…" He looked up, as if he were searching his memory for the exact quote. "Chuck is kind of a dick."

Dean barked out a sharp laugh, feeling the last shred of tension unclench in his stomach and he leaned back fully against the car. "Yeah, you got that right." He shuddered slightly.

Cas slipped out of his tan coat, handing it out towards Dean. "You are cold." He said simply, acknowledging that Dean had begun to shiver in the rapidly cooling temperatures.

Dean rolled his eyes, but he accepted the offering. He considered making a jab at him about sappy romances but he felt too genuinely touched by the gesture that he held back. He cleared his throat. "You saw Jack?" He waited for a nod. "He's good?"

Cas nodded. "He is well." He looked up towards the horizon, as if he could catch a glimpse of their surrogate son. "He is doing good out there. Fixing the mess Chuck made of heaven and earth."

"Good." Dean said softly. He frowned. "I miss him sometimes."

"He will be back."

Dean looked over at him.

"When he finishes, he'll be back. For a little while at least."

"Good."

"He told me to tell you he said hello."

Dean snorted. "Right." He made a big show of looking up at the sky. "Hello." He replied. "Give us a warning before you pop in, I'll throw some burgers on."

Cas laughed quietly. "I'm sure he'll like that."

Dean settled back again, taking a deep breath before he reached out and grabbed Cas' hand. He used it as an anchor, preventing him from drifting back into fear. "Tell me more."

"About-?"

"Anything." Dean admitted. I just want to hear you talk. I just need to hear you talk.

Cas caught the meaning. "Alright." He began. "Pick a century."

"What?"

"I will tell you all that I remember."

Dean tightened his grip on Cas' hand. "1800s. The wild west."

"I expected you would request that."

"Yeah yeah. Now spill."

As Cas launched into his story, Dean simply laid his head back on his shoulder, listening to the smooth cadence of his voice, and letting the feeling of the coat around his shoulder and the angel at his side warm him from inside to out.

He could get used to it. He would get used to it. He could have this. They could have this.

Dean tried to keep track of what Cas was saying, but really he was just relieved and surprised he was there at all. That this was happening.

Cas was back.

It was real.

[anwiel13]

@derwahnsinn 31 days idol challenge

Flake's edition

Day sixteen - most surprising fact

Well, I have to admit, that I have a bit problem with this one. Maybe I am just in this fandom for too long, but non of the facts I can think about, is surprising for me. Like, of course he is a cat person, of course he loves old cars and had old cars rental business. So, I will add some random facts I like =)

I don't know where my name Flake comes from. Actually my name is Christian Lorenz, but from childhood I have been called Flake, I can't even begin to find out exactly who started it. There was such an animated film 'Wickie', where the Vikings experience some of their numerous adventures. There is some guy called Soundso of Flake because there is a place in Norway called Flake. It has been like this since I was five, even before I went to school. And at some point everyone said Flake, that happened very quickly.

From book Feeling B - Mix mir einen Drink (text and photo of Flake with his older brother), big thanks for translation to @notafraidofredyellowandblue

Another fun fact is about Flake's first tattoo. I also still laugh when I see his tattoo, I just wish he would share how and why he got his second one, Sunny. Also, he look so proud on this photo =D

I also had my tattoo done backstage. My colleagues just shook their heads when they saw the result. I wanted it to look as if it had been done in the GDR prison, but the tattoo artist didn't understand that. He didn't speak German and didn't know what a GDR was supposed to be. There were only people tattooed there who were in prison, and so they looked justifiably dangerous. I did not look dangerous. When I saw the picture on my arm, I laughed. I still feel that way when I pass a mirror.

From his book Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag (btw, if you did not read this book, highly recommended)

Flake about his ear get pierced from interview with Frankfurter Rundschau

I had my ears pierced in the dressing room of the apprentice workshop and shot in homemade earrings. I thought the whole town was looking at me. In truth, nobody took any notice of me, but I thought I was the craziest person in the whole neighbourhood. That's the feeling that carries you through the day.

And about making jewelry for money, interview from Strassenfeger.

"When we were in Hiddensee, we needed nothing but money for schnapps. We peeled potatoes and got something to eat in return." To make money, they made earrings out of silver wire that Feeling B vocalist Aljoscha Rompe picked up in the West. "The people in Hiddensee snatched the stuff out of our hands, they stood in line, and we had to work extra slowly so that the price of 15 marks for a pair of earrings was justified. We were doing really well."

Photo of our Feeling B boys making some jewelry

Oliver's challenge @derwahnsinn

Till's challenge @endlich-allein

Paul's challenge @instillennachten