#you don’t need to speedrun everything

[zukkaoru]

if bones cuts tecchou’s “everyone misunderstands jouno” line i am literally never trusting anyone again

[literallyjusttoa]

Guys I think Troy is becoming my Roman Empire.

[callooopie]

Modern!Davos Blackwood headcannons (pt. 1?)

— SFW —

I’ll hit it from the back, just so you don’t get attached — i like the way you kiss me // artemas

I can definitely see myself making more of these. Adding to the modern! Davos lore. Not proofread. LMK if y’all have other ideas or headcannons too!

Benjicot Davos Blackwood. People call him Davos. Only close friends call him Ben. Only you can call him Benji. Although, he goes by his middle name usually. Now, bloody Ben? That’s a story to be told later on how he got... (There is no story. It’s just people saying “Shit.. there’s bloody Ben..” or something like that. There’s no violence to the name, only pure exasperation when people see him)

This is the boy you need to hide away in your closet or under your bed when your parents come checking in on you randomly. You could’ve been working on homework, or just hanging around. And somehow this “annoying” guy appeared outside your bedroom window—and you just had to let him in. “C’mooon, let me in sweetheart.. you think I can’t climb up there? Stand back, I’ll show you.”

He is the type of person to rant about how the education system is rigged, set up to fail students, or rant about it in general and as a whole. Anyway he’s got a 4.0, and makes it onto the dean’s list every semester in college. However he is always late to class—complete with either a Monster or Red Bull drink in tow.

He invites you over to his place like a gentleman. Ignore his “annoying fuckass” roommate.. (it’s Aeron.) He does the whole (“it’s a little messy :3”) as he leads you down the hall of their apartment. “Hello MTV, welcome to my crib.”

He cooks at that desk, game-wise. Faceit level is between 5-6. CSGO rank is Master Guardian II (He does tell you he once hit Global Elite. But he stopped the grind to focus on school, not because he’s washed or anything—maybe you could be his Valorant duo? Or be his support in League; he’ll have you know he makes a mean ADC.. do you do overnight discord calls?—)

If you play more casual games (Minecraft, stardew, etc) he will play with you, HOWEVER, he will either ruin the aesthetic of the minecraft world via automated farms OR speedrun the mines in stardew (he passes out so much it starts to affect the money you’re trying to save for farm upgrades). Every time he goes fishing in either game he puts on a country accent and makes “gone fishing, getting away from my bitch wife” jokes. “I’ve uh- carved out an area for the iron farm. Nothin’ too big—just something to get started.” (Shows you an utterly decimated and leveled biome)

Davos Blackwood fun fact no. 43; he does rallying (rally racing). He went to a rally school for fun over the summer. Ignore the price tag; yes he saved up for that! no it’s not dangerous! Regular driving wise he does donuts in empty parking lots, and takes corners way too fast. He is the type to street race a random ass pickup truck or some other car that pulls up beside him. It is thrilling, and he knows you enjoy it too despite your protests and how you grip the handle above the seat. “No it’s fine.. pfft—don’t worry don’t— I’ll smoke him. Just watch.”

Speaking of cars. Do not complain about his car. This is his baby. His one and only. It’s an old car; it’s so old it’s bordering not being considered street safe anymore. Ignore the anime girl stickers with their tits and ass out, that was there already he didn’t do that. “It’s safe don’t worry—I’m getting the bumper and everything fixed like Monday I swear.. no I did not hit anything why would you say that-“

He’s oddly in-tune with his emotions and emotions of others despite appearances. He’ll KNOW if something’s bothering you. Maybe you’re just a little too quiet, you laugh at a joke a little too late or even if it sounds unenthusiastic. Whatever it is, Davos is on the case. A hug, some pep talk, he’ll let you punch his palms to get any anger out. He’s your ride or die, of course he’d do anything for you. And maybe if it’s a person who upset you he might pay them a visit.. “Who was it this time? Oh—that bitch? Ugh. I’m sorry about that… I have a gun just saying—“

Needs your hand in his. Or some part of you touching him. Whatever works. If he does not get a modicum of affection in 5 minute intervals he shrivels up like a plant—no he’s not being dramatic. Is the type to whine loudly about it regardless of where you’re at. On occasion he lets out bloodcurdling screams as a joke, lamenting about being denied tender love from you. You think it’s funny in private, you do not think it’s funny in public. Which is why he always does it in public. “Gimme your hand. Wha? What do you mean ‘it’s too hot out’? I wanna.. I wanna hold your hand… I don’t care if you’re sweaty—LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND”

I do believe his brain would be.. a little rotted. He sends you tiktoks, niche memes, shitposts. He will watch twitch streams or league/csgo content creators on YouTube. His vocab is normal, but does consist of slang from the gaming community. This can be good and funny, or sometimes bad if he uses it during serious moments. However he’s at least a normal human being and knows when to talk ‘normally’. He says joever unironically

Shadow boxes you. No matter what’s happening or where. You could be looking at something in a store and you just see slow, dramatic punches going toward you. He makes the whooshing sound too. This is how you know he’s bored. He’s also the type to tackle you to the bed. Not in a sensual or cutesy way but in like a WWE way that initiates a caged fighting match between you two.

Regardless of your mastery level of skateboarding he will hold your hands and pull you around on his board. Late at night when the parks or lots are empty, you both will be there. And he’ll be a smiling goof as he gently steers you around on the board. He usually says fuck helmets (his one big flaw), but carries one around just for you. His safety be damned. Yours? No question about it, you’re wearing all the gear required.

Smoker. Red flag. Marlboros, sometimes he uses zyns. It’s bad. Yes he knows he’s going to get lung cancer and succumb to nicotine. But he just can’t help it—it helps him relax. It’s why there’s a plethora of gum and also a cologne bottle in his car. Does it help? That’s to be determined. Does not smoke near you however if you don’t like that, he’s not that bad of an asshole.

[marionthegeek]

Stede is in the Gravy Basket, Izzy is Alive

The season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death is odd.  It hits weird. I think I know why. And this is going to sound bananas, but give me a chance to explain.  Maybe you’ll agree.

It has a huge tonal shift. It seems to speedrun Stede and Ed’s romance. It feels like we’ve missed out on something from the end of episode 7.  The fight scenes and pirate plans are nonsensical, even for OFMD. And most egregiously, a prominent character is killed off in a way that feels disingenuous to his story arc, just for starters.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  We need to go back to the beginning of season 2.  The season opens with Stede looking more piratey than ever. Beard, sash, earring… oh he’s his own fantasy of a real proper pirate.  He’s clashing swords with Izzy Hands and demanding to know where Ed is. He’s dreaming. In the dream he kills Izzy. He and Ed run into each other’s arms while screaming each other’s names. They crash into the surf. Ed says “I knew you’d find me, Babe.  I knew you’d find me, Love.” Stede keeps asking if they’re good. Ed dodges the question. Then Ed asked about the smell. Stede wakes up in a crowded room with farting and shushing roommates.

At first I thought the finale was supposed to be just a “satisfying” mirror to Stede’s dream. Stede and Ed call each other’s names and run into each other’s arms in a display that resembles a more grown up version of Stede’s dream fantasy. There’s some wild sword fighting not unlike Stede’s dream duel with Izzy. And Izzy dies.

It does mirror, but I didn’t find it satisfying. All of the characters except Stede feel flattened. Stede gets to make the heroic plan (that we never even hear) while there’s at least five pirates with better skill sets for it in the room. Ed, as Blackbeard, was described last season as “History’s greatest tactician”; Zheng Yi Sao conquered China; Jackie just took out a room full of British soldiers. Izzy and Auntie are right there. You could make arguments that Jim or Frenchie, or pretty much anyone could make a better plan. Then Stede says “It’s only suicide if we die,” which is horrible considering the plan gets Izzy killed.

Stede’s really the only person in that room who thinks Stede should be making the plans.  So I got to thinking, what if it's not just mirroring the dream? What if it is a dream? Last shot of episode 7 is an incoming cannonball. Maybe he’s unconscious.

Huge shout out to @Arty_Sunflowers on twitter (I’m not calling it X, fuck Musk) for pointing out that that isn’t the only episode that ends with a cannonball. Episode 2 ends with Jim swinging a cannonball down at Ed’s head.  Stede’s not just dreaming, he’s in the Gravy Basket!!!! (Stede even screams “Oh my God!” at the end of episode 7 in the same tone he screams “Oh my God, I don’t want to die.” in s1e9.

Stede’s hopes, dreams, and insecurities shape everything in the finale. And it helps explain the absurdities in the episode when you remember that Stede is living out pulp adventure and romance novels in his head. (He even looks like someone on the cover of one in his episode 1 dream.) But Stede can’t be dead, you say. He’s literally the main character. Well, Ed was dead for a whole episode. Let’s take a closer look.

I could and probably will do another essay on Lucius as a POV character and Ed’s mental health and how the threads they seemed to have dropped aren’t as dropped as they appear. But all of that hinges on me proving the Stede is in the Gravy Basket theory. So for this essay I’m focusing on that.

So for starters we’ve got the cannonball scenes. They’re eerily similar even if the method of cannonball propulsion is different. We don’t know Ed is dead and in the Gravy Basket for about half of episode 3. Neither does he. It makes logical sense you can be there without realizing it for a while. Buttons even said Ed didn’t know whether he was in the Gravy Basket or not in episode 4. It definitely messes with your reality.

One of Ed’s issues is self hate. He manifests Hornigold as his companion. Stede is desperate to be a good pirate and have people be proud of him. And he lives in his fantasies a lot.  So his dream shapes his experience. There’s a whole bit about Zheng needing “soft” and Auntie saying she’s proud of her. That isn’t their issue. It’s discordant with the show previously. But it is Stede’s issue. He’s manifesting.

When we first see Stede and Zheng in episode 8, they’re in a familiar spot for Stede, the bridge from episode 1. But why are they alone? When we last see Stede and Zheng in episode 7, several characters are within 5 to 10 feet of them. Did none of them decide to escape with Stede? Izzy, Lucius,  and Jim are closest. But we know Pete was there begging Stede to stay down during his fight with Zheng. Archie was definitely in the bar. That's why Jim entered the fight. So why is it only Stede and Zheng at the bridge? Because, going back to rescue others fits into Stede's hero fantasies. 

Zheng and Stede also argue about who pulled who to safety and how they got there. Stede waxes poetic about being a failure his whole life, but things always seem to work out for him. He’s such a main character mediocre white guy in this scene. He saves Zheng from two random soldiers, then she has to save him from them. Then they fight a bunch more soldiers on the beach until Blackbeard manifests in full leather from the ocean.  It looks cool. But it's absurd, even for OFMD.

Speaking of Ed, he begins the episode waxing poetic about nature and calling fishermen simple.  Those things are more Stede than Ed. Pop pop tells Ed, “You have no skills” which is something Izzy said to Stede in episode 5.  He also tells Ed, “If you were ever good at something, go do that, you bum.” If Stede’s insecurities could be distilled into one sentence, it would probably be that. (He also talks about being like a wave. I’m not 100% sure it's a The Good Place joke, but it would be thematically appropriate.)

Pop pop also tells Ed he “ruined dinner.”  Back in season 1, in Stede’s flashbacks to life with Mary and the kids, Stede thinks he’s ruined dinner. But remember, we also see another version of the scene where Stede is laughing with Mary and the kids.  Stede isn’t exactly a reliable narrator. Even in his own head.

Despite it being beyond unlikely, Ed finds soldiers reading one of Stede’s letters. I know physics in this show is sketchy, but this seems like a good time to point out no one found the red silk. Stede wants Ed to read a letter and for it to fix everything between them. The letter, plus Stede being in danger, make Ed swim out, find his leathers, and emerge from the sea with them on, while the music is the Swede’s solo from Stede’s fuckery in s1e6. Stede wants to be rescued by his handsome pirate in leather, again, just like a pulp adventure romance novel. Little chance of Ed swimming out and finding his kit.  Even less of him getting leather pants on under the water.

Back to the beach… for some reason two squads of soldiers are wandering around out on an empty beach. A visually incredible fight scene occurs. It honestly reminds me of Pete’s story in s1e2, including flips. Ed and Stede yell each other’s names exactly as in the dream. Like I’m pretty sure they used the same audio track. The same song (I Love My Baby, Nina Simone) starts playing. Ed says “I love you.” Stede says “I know.” (We’ll come back to the Han Solo joke in a minute.) They have a bit more absurd fighting then Ed, Stede, and Zheng sit on the beach complimenting each other. And Ed calls Stede “babe”.  He’s never done that outside of Stede’s dream and this moment. He’s called him mate a couple of times.  Babe is exclusively in Stede’s head.

Back in the Republic of Pirates, the crew are locked in a cell that is actually the “vista suite” at Spanish Jackie’s.  Izzy gets a heroic entrance. It’s as cool as Stede thinks Izzy is. And he gives a speech that sounds like what he probably told Stede to get him to relinquish the suit in episode 5. Piracy is about belonging to something. You can’t ignore the wishes of the crew.  Izzy also knows details about Captain Kidd and Pinocchio. Not impossible, but not exactly Izzy’s wheelhouse. It is Stede’s though. He’s obsessed with pirate tales and he read Pinocchio to the crew.

Stede, Ed, and Zheng show up just as Jackie has poisoned a bunch of soldiers. Stede makes a plan, despite everyone else being more qualified. Everyone disguises themselves as soldiers. Now we’ve seen the crew of the Revenge wear disguises. They never do the weird free styling they do here. Only Stede actually looks like a British officer. Zheng at least wears the disguise properly. Suddenly Ed has a multi gun bandolier like Blackbeard in the books. Pete ripped the arms off. Izzy is still wearing his vest. Doesn’t make sense if we’re going for stealth. Neither does not checking hostage Ricky for weapons or putting Izzy and his wooden leg at the front of the group.

If I'm right, Stede wouldn't know Ricky was behind the explosions. However,  Ricky is basically evil Stede. He's Stede's perfect foil. All of this is reflecting Stede's psyche. So, of course, it's Ricky.

Izzy gets shot and says quite a lot of nonsense in his death scene. “They love you, Ed.” Um, 3 of them were going to leave like five minutes ago. Ed has made some progress with the crew, but we’re not at “they love you Ed”.  The only person who thinks the crew loves Ed is Stede. Stede who weeps for Izzy while most of the crew aren’t showing much emotion. Stede can barely deal with his own big feelings. His fantasy doesn’t give the crew room to have them. Also, given the rest of the season, having Jim just let Ed be the person cradling Izzy doesn’t fit. The crew is also pretty stony at Izzy’s funeral.

I feel like it should be noted the last shot of Izzy in episode 7, he’s got one are around Jim and a hand on Lucius’s shoulder. He sat in Wee John’s lap in episode 6. Reactions to his death don’t make sense.

Also, Izzy’s terrible grave marker is very … Stede. He’d think it was a brilliant idea.

I didn't understand at first why Izzy had to die, even in Stede's dream world. Stede clearly likes him a lot better now. Why kill him? Well, it's because we're supposed to think Buttons is there to go to the Gravy Basket for Izzy. When actually he's already arrived in the Gravy Basket and he's there for Stede. Also, mentors die in pulp adventure novels. Stede sees Izzy as a mentor.

They go aboard the Revenge for Lucius and Pete’s wedding. It’s cute that the crew performs the ceremony, but I’d venture a guess that’s because Stede doesn’t know a captain should do it if it's legally binding. Stede does love the romance of it all.  The sudden uptick in monogamy is also very Stede. He barely understands monogamous relationships. Polyamory is beyond him.

Then Stede and Ed, who earlier told Zheng they’d help hunt Ricky, go back to the island where Izzy is buried to start an inn in a run down shack.  Stede knows Ed wants to do this because Ed told the (Taika’s) kids that they ran an inn.  We hear Ed ask “Jesus, what is that smell?” Now, at first, I thought Izzy, because Ed “knows the smell of my rotting first mate”. But what was the last thing to happen in Stede’s dream? A fart joke.

Last scene is Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave. To retrieve Izzy from the Gravy Basket? No, Izzy’s not dead. He’s with Jim and Lucius, probably watching over Stede’s corpse. Buttons is there to retrieve Stede.

This theory fixes the plot holes and dropped threads problem. We’re coming back to them next season. Ed's amends making should be far from over. And we see several moments during the season where he acknowledged that. And yet here on the island they've set up a horror movie and called it a happy ending.  Well, Stede is the type of boss who thinks things are fixed with a pizza (Calypso) party. In Stede's mind, this is a happy ending.  But really Ed is still off finding himself,  Stede is (temporarily) dead, and Izzy (who is not dead!) is probably guarding Stede's corpse.

They haven't resolved the domestic violence thread, but they haven't dropped it, either. Izzy is alive. Stede and Ed aren't together (yet). There's still time.

This also explains some of the freewheeling nonsense David Jenkins has been spouting in articles. Ed doesn’t see Izzy as a father figure and mentor, Stede does.  Stede almost turned to mush when Izzy approved of him. And David is writing a three volume adventure novel. Han Solo (Stede) is in carbonate (the Gravy Basket). The perfect end to the second act. See, I told you we’d get back to the Han Solo joke.

I still have problems with the season.  I really think they need a sensitivity reader. Even just implying a newly disabled character was fridged is certainly a choice. Especially given the amount of time devoted to how the character handled the disability. The DV scenes were brutal, as well as the suicide attempt, and the Human Puppet joke. I think they need someone trauma informed and disabled in the writer's room. (David Jenkins hit me up!)

Overall, I liked season 2. Especially once I realized Izzy wasn't dead. I'm looking forward to season 3, the conclusion of the Gentle Beard arc, and hopefully 6 seasons and a movie of Izzy (to be clear, he's not captain) and the kids sailing up and down the coast being gay and doing crimes, occasionally checking in with Stede and Ed.

Seriously, David, call me.

Historical Note: IRL Blackbeard died on November 22, 1718, killed in a naval battle off Ocracoke Island in North Carolina. IRL Stede Bonnet died December 10, 1718, hanged in Charles Town, South Carolina for piracy.  IRL Israel “Izzy” Hands survives piracy, death date unknown. I know this show doesn’t actually care about historical accuracy, but this lends a little support for my Ed died, then Stede died, and Izzy isn’t dead theory.

[librarygarten]

I’ve been thinking about the infodumping to the chain about Zelda games post and all I want to do now is tell them about the speedrunning in botw 💀

Like imagine looking Wild dead in the eyes and telling him that he could’ve beaten Ganon with a pot lid and a spoon completely naked not even a day after he wakes up habdmdvsusjsbd

Even better, imagine the potential angst if the boys DID use speedrun strategies... because of Isekai! Reader. Reader is their player, and the line between their control and the boys' free will is incredibly blurry at best >:]

#1 Chain x Speedrunner! Deity! Isekai! Reader - Who's in Control?

Part 1 includes Wild, Four, and Warriors Part 1 (you are here) ✿ Part 2 ✿ Part 3

When you first fell through the portal and joined the chain on their quest, you had revealed that they were only stories in your world. It had taken a while for them to understand the concept of a video game, and even longer for them to come to terms with the fact that some of the most traumatic events of their lives were reduced to children’s entertainment. However, as they talked with you, they came to another horrifying discovery: YOU were their “player.” Your actions in your world, the decisions you made while playing the games, directly influenced their own lives. What’s more, you were a speedrunner.

Wild

It was a peaceful day in camp. You were sitting near the fire, watching Wild cook, chatting about nothing in particular. Suddenly, his head snapped up, as if he suddenly realized something important.

“You made me fight Ganon in my underwear.” he says. He stares at you. You stare back, unsure how to respond. Anything you could say dies in your throat. He continues. “I couldn’t beat Ganon back when the Champions were alive. Back when I had the Master Sword. But you managed with a pot lid and a spoon.”

“Well, that was still you.” You can feel the sweat run down the back of your neck. “The line between what’s me and what’s you is kind of blurry. It didn’t feel like you were being controlled, did it?”

“No. I just remember thinking I had to get to the castle as soon as possible.” Wild looks down at his hands, contemplating his next words. “I did things without thinking, really. When I jumped around and shot that arrow, I didn’t know why. It just seemed… natural.”

You were aware of what he was talking about. A common way to skip Windblight Ganon. The only things needed were some well-placed jumps and an arrow. Shooting the arrow at just the right place would make it get stuck in Windblight’s head, essentially one-shotting him.

Wild turns back up at you.

“You made me fight Ganon in my underwear.” He emphasizes the last few words, as if he still can’t come to terms with this reality.

“I’m sorry?” You really don’t know what to say. Nothing could possibly make this situation worse. “It would have made a difference, really. I wasn’t planning on getting hit, so armor was pointless.”

“That’s right. I didn’t get hit once.” Wild looks shocked. “I dodged everything.”

“So everything worked out!” You smile nervously.

“But why?” He asks incredulously. “Wasn’t it hard? Why would you go straight to the castle?”

“Gotta go fast?”

Four

Another busy day at camp. There was food to cook, clothes to mend, weapons to fix. While the others went out to gather materials, you and Four kept yourselves busy, trying to get as much done as possible before they got back.

“Y/N. You played my games, right? You kind of influenced what I did and stuff?” Four asks out of the blue.

“Yea, why?” You put down the shirt you were mending and looked up at him. He was staring into the distance, as if lost in thought.

“Are you the reason why I could walk through that wall?” He turns to look directly at you. His gaze is almost paralyzing.

“Which time are you talking about?” You laugh nervously. “There’s a couple areas in The Minish Cap where you can glitch through walls into other areas.”

“The Octorock!” He exclaims, “I pushed a pot into the wall and went through the wall! Did that actually happen? I thought I was going crazy!”

“Oh, yeah. The Octo Clip is essential for speedrunning.” You explain. “It’s one of the few glitches available in your game for the 100% category.”

“Speedrunning?” He tilts his head, confused. “What’s that?”

“It’s a thing people do when playing video games. It’s like a challenge to see how fast you can beat the game. People compete to get the fastest time.” You pick up your needle again, praying that would be the end of the conversation. Talking about the nature of the chain’s free will was uncomfortable to say the least.

“Did you win, at least?” Four asks. He could understand competition; one of his games was mostly a competition between the colors.

“Ugh, not even close. I messed up the timing on the final boss so the fight took way longer than necessary. I ended up missing the top ten by a whole minute.” You lament.

“I think I remember that. I was fighting Vaati, and suddenly started panicking. I thought I was just scared.” He points an accusing finger at you. “But that was you, realizing you messed up?”

“I guess?” You shrug. “It could be both. Like, maybe you just happened to feel fear at the same time I realized I messed up? Or maybe you felt fear, causing me to mess up? It doesn’t have to just be me influencing you. It’s the multiverse. You probably influenced me too… right?” You try not to sound too desperate with your question. Surely, this connection went both ways. Otherwise… you don’t want to think about the possible implications.

“Maybe.” Four nods, but you can tell he doesn’t really believe it. With nothing more to say, you slip into silence.

Warriors

(I legit cannot find speedrun glitches for his game??? Let’s dive even deeper into the nature of freewill lmao.)

Warriors was silent as you walked along the trail. The rest of the group had run ahead, apparently excited about something they had spotted over the horizon. The last thing you heard was Wild shouting something about Hinox toenails. You were glad to have a moment of silence. You loved the boys to death, but they were a bit much at times. Unfortunately, the silence was short-lived.

“I’ve been talking to the others about their adventures. Now that we know about you, some things are starting to make sense.” Warriors’ voice is quiet, his voice low. Almost threatening. You don’t say anything. He continues. “Four told me you like to do something called speedrunning? Where you try to beat the game as fast as possible.”

“Yeah,” you say. You can feel his gaze on you. “I’m not very good at it. Most of my times don’t even get on the leaderboard.”

“And your behavior during the games influences our world.” It’s not a question. He knows.

“I guess?” You chuckle nervously, suddenly finding the dirt beneath your fingernails very interesting. “I’m still trying to figure that out. Multiverse travel be wild.”

“Was it worth it?” His voice is laced with venom.

“What?”

“What is worth it?” He repeats, then scoffs at your confused expression. “You wanted to beat my game as fast as possible. You’re the reason Zelda and I were constantly trying to push forward. Even when our supplies were low. Even when we knew we were outnumbered. That. Was all. YOU.”

You don’t know when you stopped walking. You only realize when you notice the small wet spots on the ground in front of you. You wipe your eyes, trying to stop the tears. It doesn’t help. Warriors only watches.

“I’m sorry.” Your lip trebles, but you keep looking at the ground, using your bangs as a curtain to hide your face. You don’t want him to see you start sobbing. That wouldn’t help anything.

“Sure you are.” He continues walking, leaving you standing in the middle of the path, completely alone. Before he’s out of earshot, he turns to look over his shoulder, and sarcastically remarks, “Glad you had fun.”

[fascinati0nstr33t]

WELCOME TO ANOTHER HEADCANON SHITSHOW🗣️🔥

ARCANE CHARACTERS AND THEIR FAVOURITE VIDEO GAMES

this was requested by @beast-master-talks 🫶, so here it is pookie

Jinx

Splatoon & League of Legends

as mentioned in my first headcanon post, Jinx would be a Splatoon enjoyer

based on her weapons, the Heavy Splatling would be her go to weapon

if not, then the stringer or the dualies

she’s a Deep Cut enjoyer, 100%

enjoys the chaos of the game itself

would spam the taunts and squid party whenever she splats someone

plays with ekko

finds the salmons ADORABLE

is a toxic player…most of the time

and that also applies in League (i haven’t played it-)

would main herself

ultimate trash talker in both games

she just enjoys a game where she can absolutely demolish anyone

honourable mention: Borderlands

Viktor

i need him-

TLOZ: Twilight Princess & Minecraft

i think viktor enjoys open-world games rather than more action packed games

(i’m pretty sure his voice actor harry lloyd said something about zelda in a video)

Twilight Princess would be his favourite out of the other games mostly because of the general aesthetic and how it’s one of the more “darker” games of the franchise

THIS MAN WOULD BE FASCINATED BY THE TWILIGHT REALM, I MEAN-

the fact you can pick up cats is also a bonus

now on the calmer side, minecraft

it’s serves as a distraction

he has a pond of axolotls in honour of rio

has banned jinx from his server cus she blew up his wolf “on accident”

has lost his mind over the redstone

Vi

Street Fighter & The Last Of Us

Street Fighter is pretty much a classic in fighting games, so i think it’s something Vi would enjoy

has had a crush on at least ONE of the female fighters

would use ryu, a known character in the game

has played against Jinx, never doing it again cus they almost tore each other apart

NOW, IN THE CASE OF TLOU-

clickers and bloaters stress her the fuck out

died around 4 times in a row during the first encounter with a bloater

even though she could have weapons or even bricks at her disposal, most of the time she fights with her bare fists

died trying to speedrun the stealth sections because she didn’t have the patience

ellie and joel’s relationship hit a bit too close to home with her

i think she would take a break from the second game after joel’s death, no literally, it would leave her absolutely broken

Caitlyn

Life Is Strange & Fire Emblem

Caitlyn would enjoy Life is Strange due to its theme of moral choices

i think she’d be a bit thrown off by the more supernatural aspects of the game, but she’d enjoy nonetheless

she’s pretty much canonically a detective figure

so i think she’d be pretty satisfied if she manages to uncover something beforehand

has talked about the game to vi, in the same way a fnaf fan would explain the lore

NOW AS FOR FIRE EMBLEM (i know, i’m hilarious-)

the overall aesthetic of her design and the Kiramman house just gave me the game’s vibes, y’know?

the customization of the unit’s skills or classes would appeal to her

the lucina allegations from vi only worsened when she started playing

Ekko

Animal Crossing & BOTW

HE WOULD HAVE THE BEST ISLAND, I KNOW IT

has invited heimerdinger over, sometimes even asked for advice when it came to designing

if he was scammed by tom nook at some point, yeah, get ready for “the boy who shattered the console”

Goldie is his favourite villager (she’s mine too)

built a community similar to the Firelights

now for BOTW, Ekko would be absolutely mesmerised by every single location and sight (minus the guardians)

Rito Village reminds him of the hideout

did try to fight Ganon without the necessary equipment but lost

dyes everything green or brown

a little timebomb thingy, he would name one of his horses after Jinx/Powder, especially if it’s one of the blue horses

gets irritated when the stable won’t accept a peculiar horse (skeleton or lord of the mountain)

bonus: tony hawk pro skater (i don’t need to elaborate)

Mel

Sims 4 & Pokémon Scarlet

she would make the most beautiful houses

her sims would have absolutely LETHAL face cards

however, that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be absolute chaos from time to time

assassinating her sims would amuse her tbh

YOURE GONNA HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT FOR POKÉMON-

she chooses either fuecoco or quaxly as a starter

her team is full of the most GLAMOROUS pokémon i just know it

gardevoir would be on there for sure

has a shitload of coins and diamonds for evolution

Jayce

(he looks like a wet dog here-)

Detroit: Become Human & FIFA

the story of DBH would have him hooked

just the entire theme of technology would have him interested

but similar to himself, he would have good intentions yet make the most dogshit choices

he would try getting the “good” ending

similar to my headcanon of him quoting Captain Falcon, he would, unironically, say “28 STAB WOUNDS” out of the blue

Jayce is a fife, i just see it that way

despite the game being far more straight to the point, he would enjoy it casually

again, COCKY

if he’s playing with other people, then things will get heated

his team is Barça, it just is

bonus: he plays minecraft with Viktor

I THINK SOME ARE MORE ACCURATE THAN OTHERS BUT EITHER WAY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!

[ohimsummer]

omg so. idk if you keep getting these ads all over snapchat and stuff like i have, but i keep seeing those ads for these lil thongs that have ur man’s name along the back. and every time i see them, my FIRST thought is imagine wearing those for satoru or suguru lmao

— minors dni, geto x afab! reader, pet names (sugar, darling), light degradation, suguru possession kink going brrrr, mentions of biting/marking/creampie, established relationship :3

⭑ ࣪ ˖ sum’z notes.ᐟ i went w/ suguru bc i like writing about speedrunning through breaking that man’s composure 🤭 and also satoru’s was sounding repetitive but I think HE’D buy them for you to begin with😭

“darling, have you seen my–“

the question is a dying ember in suguru’s throat, and his silence prompts your curious gaze at him through the reflection. you’re tilted over his bathroom sink to get a closer look at yourself in the mirror, finishing up your nightly routine.

“seen your what, sugar?”

your boyfriend doesn’t answer the question. instead he eyes the bottom of your ass that peeks out from beneath your (his) shirt. surely you haven’t been prancing your pretty self around his apartment in just a shirt?

his hand approaches the hem of the top. “uhm, what are you–“ and you squeak out an ‘oop!’ as geto lifts the fabric to expose your behind. a huff seeps from your lips, faux annoyance as you massage face wash into your cheeks. “jeez, babe, at least take me to dinner, first.”

after getting no response, you prod at him further. “okay, suguru, i know the view back there is amazing but for real, what did you come in here for again?” still no answer. you pout at him through the mirror, though geto never sees your expression as his eyes are tangled in the words branded on your underwear.

‘why are you wearing these?’

‘where did you get them?’

‘you’re teasing me with this, aren’t you?’

all questions that die on his tongue, because how could he possibly get his thoughts together with all this blood rushing to the wrong head?

“oh, do you like my new thong? ordered it online, just for you.”

and god, you and that playful taunt, wiggling your ass as you giggle so nonchalantly. like this sexy little thong with suguru’s name on the band isn’t sending all his composure straight out the window. fist balled up in the t-shirt, it’s taking everything in him not to rip these damned panties off you. no, no, he needed them perfect and intact for the pictures he wanted to take later, after he’s done stuffing your slutty ass with cock and cum and painting your pussy white.

“you do these things just to get a rise out of me, don’t you?” geto finally sighs, pulling at the thin excuse for underwear right where his title resides; he tugs it back, gets a good eyeful of his name and it almost makes his brain go haywire. it elicits the same feeling as when he sees day-old hickeys on your neck—a ‘she’s mine’ so everyone knows the most gorgeous girl in the world is already spoken for. geto loves showing off that you’re his in all kinds of ways: you in his clothes, with his teeth indentations on your body, or bruises from his lips, hands clutching at your hips or an arm around your waist.

“suguru,” you set down your towel, face fully dry and you back up to press yourself against his front. “i’ve no idea what you’re on about.” your giggles and the knowing grin on your face say otherwise. “but i’m assuming you do like them, yeah? it’s like our own little secret.” and you grind your ass against the growing bulge in his pants, just a little something to send his heart racing even faster.

and, oh, he likes them alright. anything that says you’re his and suguru’s down for it. and if that includes having his cum drooling from every hole in your body, so be it.

tagz: @anthoosies

[catscidr]

// genshin characters as lethal company players //

cw: none! just silly headcanons. 100% crack includes: kaveh, kazuha, columbina, kirara, kaeya, cyno, ayato, wanderer, xiangling, xingqiu, mika, layla, nilou, chongyun, thoma, childe, itto, dehya, dottore, albedo, lyney, bennett, ganyu, venti, furina, zhongli, neuvillette, candace, collei, arlecchino (that's a lot) a/n: this was a shower thought after watching the sumeru cast play the game agfsghjs

knows everything about the game ↳ kaveh, kazuha, columbina, kirara, kaeya

⇢ already has a “boss” pin on their in-game uniform when you play together for the first time ⇢ is the one that chooses which moons you guys go to. also buys all the resources (flashlights, walkie-talkies etcetc) bc they don't trust anyone else to do it ⇢ could probably speedrun the game if they wanted to, they have like every map memorized ⇢ if they die you’re ALL fucked. good luck ⇢ always brings back the dead bodies no matter what (says it’s for the quota but actually just feels bad leaving you guys there)

mostly there for the laughs but is maybe surprisingly pretty good at the game ↳ cyno, ayato, wanderer, xiangling, xingqiu

⇢ don’t let them find the airhorn/clown horn unless you want them to destroy your eardrums ⇢ somehow Always encounters monsters. but they get out alive (most of the time) ⇢ has died to quicksand and gotten clowned for it in the vc with other dead people in it ⇢ when you go sell items on the last day they ring the bell repeatedly to provoke The Worm to make everyone panic ⇢ scares you on purpose. may or may not have gotten themselves killed by you beating them to a pulp because you got jumpscared by them one too many times

always on edge, even before the game starts ↳ mika, layla, nilou, chongyun, thoma

⇢ gets the “most paranoid employee” note when you all come back from a moon ⇢ most likely to sacrifice themselves (to finally catch a break) ⇢ screams a lot. has gotten eaten by eyeless dogs more times than u could count ⇢ sticks with you so they’re less scared (but their paranoid Vibe just makes you scared too) ⇢ the one that dies first or is the last one standing. either way they're stressed and can't think properly

your personal guard dog ↳ childe, itto, dehya, dottore, albedo

⇢ “strength in numbers!” they say right before a thumper mauls the shit out of them ⇢ designated enemy killer. carries around a weapon to smack them with it (their weapon of choice is a yield sign) ⇢ has saved you from a snare flea stuck to your head multiple times (always expects a “thank you”. they bonk you if you don’t say it) ⇢ walks in front of you to scope out danger ⇢ also sometimes very tempted to beat you with their weapon just to fuck with you (dottore finishes the job)

the lost puppy ↳ lyney, bennett, ganyu, venti, furina

⇢ gets “laziest employee” every single time because they never find any scrap to bring back to the ship ⇢ has an awful sense of direction in the game and somehow loses sight of you even when you're exploring the moon together ⇢ gets grounded by your group and is tasked to guide people in the facility through the cams with their walkie talkie ⇢ their inventory is always full but only with useful items like a pro flashlight, a walkie talkie and a ladder ⇢ speaking of ladders, they've accidentally fallen in a hole multiple times and that's why they always need a ladder on them. to get themselves out.

bonus: watches you play! ↳ zhongli, neuvillette, candace, collei, arlecchino

⇢ watches the game either very invested or very confused ⇢ may or may not backseat without realizing it ⇢ contributes to the bits (not on purpose: zhongli, neuvi. on purpose: candace, collei, arle)

[the-named-anon]

Dungeon meshi x Minecraft thoughts

(Assuming it’s a modern au and everyone knows how to use a computer…)

Laios

Laios would get the achievement for eating everything edible without even trying. Loves exploring caves, but often falls to his death because he forgets there’s fall damage.

Is trying to speedrun to the dragon, but dies so often it’s pointless… (dude. You’ve lost so much diamond armor Chilchuck isn’t going to give you any.)

He lives in a dirt hut until Marcille or Falin build him a better one

Wants everyone to live nearby, and eventually everyone does

Had a self-made skin, but it looked horrible so Falin made him one

HOARD of dogs. Used to be individually named, but then after the fourth (Name) fell to their death/burned in lava/shot by skeleton, he collectively calls them buddy

Tried to have hardcore worlds, died within the first hour on each.

Is part of a separate server with loads and loads of monster mods (run by someone called LordOfTheDungeon, who made most of the mods)

Gamer tag is xXMonsterSlayerXx

Falin

Is the dragon /j

Master of potion creation, figures them all out very easily.

Lives in a pretty build that her and Marcille built. (And they were roommates 😳)

Is the supplier of ores for the group, is decked out in pretty trimmed diamond armor (enchants courtesy of Chilchuck)

Practically made all the skins that the party uses, based on how they actually look

Has a big farm of animals (is trying to get two of each passive mob in there… tropical fish are the only thing she’s missing, and she has a in-game book to keep track of which ones she has)

Yes, she does have a strider, skeleton horse, and a sniffer.

Has named all her animals, and has a strict “no weapons on the hotbar” when people visit.

Has a separate hardcore world that she’s sunk hours into.

And is part of two other servers, a cosy animal filled cottage core server and another one she won’t tell anyone about

Gamer tag is FlowerFalin

Marcille

Tried desperately to learn potions, but also doesn’t want to step on Falin’s toes…

Is the builder of the group, grows the biggest trees she can. Master of bonemeal.

Went out of her way to grab two mooshrooms for Falin (one red, one brown) under the guise of “I needed mycelium anyways”

Wants to get all of the achievements, but also refuses to eat rotten flesh or poisonous potatoes

Named her sword “Ambrosia two” (and then “Ambrosia 3”, “Ambrosia 4”… she doesn’t loose/break Ambrosia four)

Uses potion tipped arrows. (Realized too late that she probably should’ve named her bow Ambrosia, since its usage with the potion tipped arrows is more similar to her real Ambrosia.)

Falin made her skin based on Uriale

Also plays on a server that has a mod for The Daltian Clan

Gamer tag is UrialeOfDaltian

Chilchuck

Under his quaint little house is a MASSIVE villager trading hall. Has every trade imaginable, at the lowest cost it can be. Lets “no one” in there (Laios has a bad habit of accidentally hitting villagers… and was banned before it was made)

Has the best enchants, and actually successfully speedran to the dragon. (First to have an elytra, and HOARDS shulker boxes. Wants the other party members to pay him for them.)

Has lots of beacons, and has unlocked all the end teleporters… (wither sounds are common on the server)

Most skilled at the game (dad of three girls… what did you expect? (Gamer girl-dad))

His girls made him his skin. (Big anime eyes, but everything else is akin to him) ((begrudgingly uses it))

Has a separate server with his girls, that they modded (custom biomes, more enchant options, fun tools and weapons)

Gamer tag is ChillsChuck

Senshi

Makes food. Only wants to make food… big farm of meat animals, and actual crops.

Is disappointed that there isn’t more monster-based food in the game. (What do you mean you can’t eat enderpearls? Why don’t more mobs drop meat?)

Ate rotten flesh once, and then decided against it. (It’s too bad you can’t use it to make food. This game is seriously lacking culinary options.)

Prefers to play modded, with loads and loads of food options. (The party server is straight vanilla, so he’s part of another one where he’s more active on… modded with food.)

Is confused why they’d think he’d be interested in mining… he makes food irl?? (Can’t differentiate any stones. Even though they’re different colors)

House was made by Marcille, skin by Fallin. (Previously default Steve skin)

Has a horse named Anne (really crappy… like, he tamed the first horse that looked like her so it’s only slightly faster than running and can barely clear a two block jump)

Gamer tag is ChefSenshi402

Izutsumi

Falin made her skin a cat girl (previously one of the default skins (can’t remember any of the other ones, but not Alex or Steve))

Doesn’t really understand Minecraft, or why people want to play it.

Has a hoard of cats, but only the tuxedo ones. (Because they look like her)

Master of the horse-stats trade, and has had luck with llamas.

(Sorry… I don’t have many ideas for her because I’m not at the part of the show where she’s at)

Gamer tag is Izutsumi1 (Izutsumi was taken for some reason)

Bonus:

Thistle

Moderator and owner of the monster-filled server.

Made 90% of the mods in the server, the only mods he didn’t make are the mods he uses to have his mods to work (like geckolib)

Has two accounts, LordOfTheDungeon, and ThistleThorn

Uses LordOfTheDungeon as his moderator one, and ThistleThorn is for the cosy cottagecore server he’s in.

Had a raffle for the players with the longest time in-server to come up with a monster for him to implement

Laios won, and it’s taken Thistle a while to make his “Ultimate Strongest Monster.” (Multiple heads and attacks are time consuming.)

Falin is also a moderator on his server, with a fake gamer tag of “Chimera” (Laios doesn’t know that, but she thinks it’s fun to watch the custom mobs roam around.) Has a custom game mode where the monsters don’t attack her, so she can make a little sanctuary for her favorites. (Also uses a different skin for the server, per the request of Thistle)

There’s an unknown person who’s a moderator that’s skin is lion-like, who’s gamer tag is “BeastWishes”

[toxintouch]

Kinktober speedrun time! Used the Mirror prompt on this list. Thank you for the inspo! Further details below the cut so that the above the cut stays safe for anyone who is just scrolling through!

18+ Content MDNI || Dom!Reader x Leander

PROMPT/KINK(S): Dom!Reader, Mirror Use. Edging/Orgasm Denial + Light Degradation & Name calling (Leander being referred to as a dog but he’s really into it, promise) + Power Exchange & Sub/Dom Dynamics

OTHER INFO: Leander has a dick, anatomy of Reader/POV Character remains unspecified; "they" pronouns used.

Leander has the straight backed posture of a man who was given etiquette lessons.  His mannerisms speak of wealth and class, yet they can’t help but observe that he looks completely comfortable while down on his knees.

His back muscles flex as he works himself, sweat slipping down his spine, pooling in the dimples just above his ass.  He’s strung tight, the veins in his arms straining as he strokes a quick, even rhythm.  His dick is flushed a painful red, copious amounts of pre-cum dripping down his wrist and splattering onto his thick thighs, some of it even dirtying the floor below when his strokes become too enthusiastic.

(They wonder how best to make him clean it later–he does so love to be ordered to lick up his own mess–but this floor is probably just as filthy as anywhere else in the Wick, despite appearances–and they don’t think they can find it in themself to make use of his mouth again after watching that.)

The full length mirror hanging in front of Leander is a new addition to the room. Something they’d wheedled out of him with nothing but an easy promise, whispered into his ear down at the bar.  It was theirs not a full day later: a polished brass antique with a priceless clear finish.

His back is to them, but they can see everything they need to by gazing at his reflection.

His strokes stutter, faltering, and they watch as his abdominals jump rapidly. His hand makes a few more shaky attempts before he stops himself with a shudder, breathing hard and squeezing his cock at the base to cut off his own orgasm. They give a little hum of approval, waiting.

“Count.”  They prompt, when he fails to remember on his own.  

They watch his throat bob with effort as he swallows, his jaw trembling around his answer.  “Five.”

“Good boy,” they say, their voice flat and unrewarding.  Dismissive. "Guess that Hightown education really paid off for you, huh?" He whines at that, his palms slicking along his thighs, awaiting their instruction.  He glances at them in the mirror, eyes hopeful. “Again,” they prompt, “and keep your eyes on yourself until I tell you.  During, too. You were closing them a lot. It's just you and the mirror until you've earned otherwise.”

Bites his lip, beginning to stroke himself again.

The next edge comes more quickly.

His eyebrows draw up, mouth falling open, back arching.  His cock jumps and this time he falls back onto his hands to keep from giving into temptation.  His eyes travel the length of the mirror, his neck taught with tension as he pants.  They notice his gaze darting along their form for a moment, greedily stealing along their silhouette in the looking glass. A quick glance of the place where their legs are splayed open as they lounge on the bed behind him, toying with themself idly.

He’s back to form so seamlessly, he probably thinks they didn’t even notice. The next number falls out of his mouth without prompting, as if to cover for his earlier sleight.

"..."

“Baby,” he whines, fidgeting without further instruction. His fingers return to his dick when they don't reply, ghosting over his wet, swollen cockhead.  He knows they hate the way that epithet sounds in his voice, the condescending lilt he manages to wrap around the syllables. “Sweetheart. Please, may I–”

“Bad dog,” they admonish.  They don't elaborate–let him figure out for himself which breach of protocol they're scolding him for.

“Again. And if you can’t behave, I’ll have to put you outside.”

18+ Master List | SFW Master List ✦Kinktober Speedrun on Ao3

Consider: this type of power play with yandere!Leander...you watching him when he's usually the one watching you...

[whichcouldmeannothing]

minnie's markwardo fic rec list

my credentials:

i've watched tsn like 5 times

i've written a lot for it

i've read a lot of it

summaries and thoughts under the cut! lets go socialists*!

(*socialists = social network fans)

short fics (under 5k)

Never Quite Like This by wardo_wedidit (3k, au)

Facebook is a boy band who makes music critics love and teenage girls go crazy for, and Mark and Eduardo's genius is the band's linchpin. But there is so much to them behind closed doors, and Chris gets a front row seat to it all. Facebook is a boy band who makes music critics love and teenage girls go crazy for, and Mark and Eduardo's genius is the band's linchpin. But there is so much to them behind closed doors, and Chris gets a front row seat to it all.

for people who: liked daisy jones and the six and had a one direction phase and like fandom drama

this reignited my tsn phase in 2023, so bless this fic ^^

-

A Curve that Sets Everything Straight by Hecate (4k, fix-its)

Mark's heart matters. And Eduardo wants to see him smile.

Mark means so much more to him than all the other people that looked at him as if he was better than ice cream and world peace combined. Mark is brilliant and an asshole and he makes Eduardo forgive shit that he shouldn't forgive. Mark makes it easy to stay.

for people who: like epistolary fics, who want things fixed, who like to be in pain (just by this quote, doesn't it fill you with pain and suffering? read it!!)

-

There I Fixed It by lightgetsin (4k)

“You need a fucking keeper,” Wardo rages. “Someone apparently needs to make you drink orange juice and stop you from blowing up your appliances and spray you down with a fire extinguisher every now and then, for the love of God. Why the fuck don’t you have people doing these things?”

for people who: like to be taken care of, like that 'it's rotten work/not to me, not if it's you' quote, are shenanigans lovers

unironically, this is one of the funniest fics that is on this list, absolutely edible and laugh out loud

-

The Blue Period by stilettodandelion

The lights from the chandeliers pour from the ceiling, showering down like the roar of sunlight or rain breaking through crushed glass. All questions, Mark thinks. Nothing but questions. How many months would he stay? What paintings does he want for the rest of the house? How many of them does he need to cover these vacant walls, how many CPUs and TV screens and workstations to fill up this hollow coliseum? Or: the Great-Gatsby AU.

for people: who like being sad, who like pretty pretty descriptions, WHO ARE ART FIENDS YUPS

if you've read the great gatsby, you know they would fit. also its set in singapore so immediately thumbs up for me!

-

Girls Are Not Meant to Fight Dirty (Never Look a Day Past Thirty) by @almost-a-class-act (9k, magic)

“He turned into a girl,” Dustin bursts out, unable to contain himself any longer. There's a beat. Then Eduardo laughs. “All right?” “No, he – We mean, he actually turned into a woman,” Chris says. “Dustin isn’t messing with you.” “For once,” Chris and Dustin say at the same time. Or: Mark wakes up female for no particular reason that anyone can discern, learns a few life lessons, and figures out what he actually wants from Eduardo.

for people who want: mark to truly be a better person, who like body-swap shenanigans, who want to feel joy again

look this was really funny!!! it was very "your name" coded, but its a really good fic if you need mark to speedrun becoming a better person, its both really funny and really transformative

-

been at this far too long by @alakeeffectgirl

In which Eduardo learns how to argue with Mark, and Mark learns to be somewhat less of a jerk.

for people who like: funny fics, people who like epistolary fics

i tell you every epistolary fic gets my praises, yummy yummy yummy, its some push and pull if you want a bit more resistance, like mark shouldnt have it too easy to be forgiven :0

-

medium fics (under 20k)

The Greatest Trick by fairy_tale_echo (16k)

Mark makes a deal with the Devil for everything he ever wanted ... but when the Devil arrives to collect, he discovers he put up much more than just his soul. (or: What would you trade for the thing you want most?)

for: people who love: fairy_tale_echo, funny little fantasy aus, poetic cinema, chris moments

this is one of the most insane fics that this fandom has ever seen. the development and the plot will grip you and make you absolutely entranced and you will screech at your phone, trust me (also did u read that damn summary? thats insane isnt it)

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pieces from my heart by indecentexposed (12k)

Mark gets drunk, watches the video of the depositions, and comes to some startling realizations.

“The thing is, Mark, when someone loves you so much, they would do absolutely anything you asked—sometimes the best way to love them back is not to ask.”

for people who: like suffering, want a good fix-it, want the most caring friendships ever

this is one of the first fics i read in this fandom, and i love it so much. it is so soft and sad and lovely and OHG MY DAYS. READ THIS

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Call Me (any, anytime) by aqualined (inabstract) (15k, au)

Tech help AU. (Or the one where Mark learns proper phone etiquette and that you can actually fall in love with the sound of someone's voice—well, maybe if that someone's Eduardo.)

for people who: like comedy, who like loser tech aus (me), VOICE PEOPLE

hey. this is really funny. revisitng all of these reminded me how funny tsn fics are. but trust man. this is one of their most rom commy fics :D

-

In Every Line of Code by lc2l (18k, au)

Mark's parents buy him Eduardo - a state-of-the-art, brand new, tailor made robotic best friend - for his birthday. The only problem is, Mark asked for a laptop.

HEY. EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS. EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS. YOU NEED TO READ THIS. if u read nothing from this list, can you at least read this. please please. this is the best fic on here. sad and sweet and lovely and bittersweet. the most like the vibe of the movie. THE BEST FIC I READ IN 2022. TRUST ME

-

let me shill if you want more depression, read my fic! hahaha

the last great american dynasty by @whichcouldmeannothing (3k, post canon)

You replay the scenes of love and strife, remember the shared books, the loved song, the souvenirs of friendship that will survive the vanishing. you know that memory can thrive on loss, and give them the lives you long to share, the news of the dear ones who have dropped out of your life. yet you wonder, wonder, whether any of these will survive. - Mark, Facebook and the things he's lost.

this is my favourite fic i wrote for tsn, read it if you want to see a man violently depressed and then depressingly in love :D

i haven't revisted the fandom in a while, but if we get to 200 notes ill make a part two and get somemore for ya <3

happy reading!

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ silly block game ]❜

ft. lucy pevensie, edmund pevensie, susan pevensie, peter pevensie (seperate) x gn! reader — the chronicles of narnia

╰₊✧ playing minecraft with the pevensie siblings┊1.5k words

setting: modern au, no mentions of narnia contains: fluff & crack, modern alternate universe, they are children in the image but ages are unspecified (so it could be romantic or platonic), mentions of in-game player & pet deaths,

➤ author's note: i had a dream that peter died in my arms while we were playing minecraft and decided to write cute headcanons when i woke up like a loser

━━━ .°˖✧ lucy pevensie ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ favorite biome - cherry grove, favorite mob - frogs, favorite flower - lily of the valley, favorite wood - birch, favorite block - moss

╰₊✧ she takes her time when it comes to completing the game and may take forever to get to the end dimension, prefering to play on peaceful mode so that she can focus on exploring and creating with keep inventory on since she doesn’t want to stress out about playing, enjoying everything it has to offer and will continuously pause on making progress to admire the scenery (but sometimes she turns it on easy mode to give her a little challenge when caving). oddly enough, even if the difficulty was on hard mode, she never seems to encounter any hostile mobs and they all decide to attack you instead while mining. it’s not an uncommon occurrence for her to tell you that she found her eighth patch of diamonds only for you to scream in response because you found a zombie spawner. she’ll manage to make it out of a pillager outpost without losing so much as half a heart while you’re looking like a pincushion, how does she do it?

╰₊✧ more of a farmer player who is mesmerized by all the different types of flowers and will have a goal of harvesting all of them to make colorful fields that stretch on for longer than your render distance will allow you to see. she’s most excited about updates that have new plants, wood types, and animals, keeping pets of all kinds even if they aren’t meant to be domesticated! her base is practically a zoo and is always full of life just like she is, yet it still naturally blends in with the area so well that it seems naturally generated at first glance. on a creepier note, the more hidden areas might have a skull or two placed to fit an overgrown and abandoned aesthetic, but at least it’s pretty with all of the spore blossoms!

╰₊✧ lucy hates villager trading farms with a passion, finding them too inhumane despite the fact that the villagers are npcs without sentience of any sort. it breaks her heart to see them in such cramped living conditions whose only purpose is for trade, so she’ll work on freeing them while you’re offline. she’ll spend hours upon hours gathering materials in secret to build a nicer village than the one they formally resided in before dismantling your system, with a good amount of iron golems to protect them from hostile mobs since she didn’t want to restrict them by building a fence or walls. (don’t worry, all of them are named and she’s kept a book on all of their trades so that you can keep track! the hard part is only tracking them down, but the big village is a thousand times better than the ugly trading hall you had before).

━━━ .°˖✧ edmund pevensie ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ favorite biome - ice spikes, favorite mob - horses, favorite flower - torchflower, favorite wood - dark oak, favorite block - prismarine

╰₊✧ he enjoys speedrunning, the only thing standing between him and being on the leaderboard is minor slip-ups that cost the entire game. he tends to get too cocky, especially once he’s gathered all he needed from the nether fortress and prematurely celebrates before a blaze knocks him off the edge, so you bet that you’re going to hear him come up with the most creative insults you would ever hear over the discord call (not including swears because he will be scolded for his language by someone in his house). his best record of beating the game is around forty minutes, nothing to gawk at, but something that he’s very proud of after all of his practice.

╰₊✧ if it’s not a world dedicated to that, where he doesn’t need to build a base, then he’ll place down all of the essentials and call it a day without a roof over his head. it’s not like he can actually get wet from the rain or sunburn from the sun, so he doesn’t bother and just lives like that until you persuade him to at least dig out a hole in a mountain to keep away from night-time mobs and expand whenever needed. his scattered chests are a mess, by the way, you can’t find anything while he just spam clicks and glazes over the screen to find something in his strange little system. he insists that he knows where everything is and that organization isn’t needed.

╰₊✧ also a total prankster, but will never blow up builds or destroy anything of yours because he knows how much time you put into it for a minute of amusement. he likes watching where you log out and trapping you in that spot with obsidian, something that you can easily get out of with a pick but is still annoying enough for him to get a kick out of it. once he wasn’t sure where the exact spot was, so he spent an entire real-life night meticulously encasing the area in glass and then flooding every block of air with water. he wondered multiple times if the effort was worth it in the process, but he cried tears of laughter when you couldn’t get out at all since you drowned before you could break the glass and then swim out. it was an endless cycle of “died by drowning” until you offered him a chest of iron blocks for your freedom.

━━━ .°˖✧ susan pevensie ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ favorite biome - mountains, favorite mob - foxes, favorite flower - rose bushes, favorite wood - mangrove, favorite block - quartz

╰₊✧ has mixed feelings on redstone, something that makes so much yet so little sense. it’s something that she likes to think that she mastered quickly, but you can always hear her muttering under her breath about how an entire contraption broke because of something dumb like the repeater being a tick off. she always covers up these machines with big, elaborate builds in a unique gothic style that you’ve only seen from her— although most of these builds are hollow since she doesn’t know how to design the interior, leaving entire towns empty until she lets you fill them up with various shops and villagers to make it feel more lived-in.

╰₊✧ refuses to throw anything away and maybe has a bit of a hoarding tendency, you cannot convince her to toss so much as a rotten potato into the lava because she “might need it in the future” even though it’s the most worthless item in the game. her storage system is immense and conscientiously organized with item frames and color signs while practically overflowing, but she has copious amounts of everything and is very generous when it comes to sharing as long as you ask beforehand! (as a result, her least favorite mobs are creepers because she needs to sort out the damaged chests before everything disappears, a complete nightmare)

╰₊✧ has god-like accuracy with any projectiles and has mending on her bow because she hates how expensive it is to get a new one with maxed-out enchantments and argues about how it’s so much better than infinity once she made the switch. you need an inventory slot with at least one arrow anyway, so why can’t you just have the full stack when you can always pick up more by killing skeletons? it may be a bit pretentious of her, but she might mock you that you just have a skill issue when she sees you being a bad shot before giving you some tips on how to improve.

━━━ .°˖✧ peter pevensie ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ favorite biome - fields, favorite mob - dogs/wolves, favorite flower - oxeye daisy, favorite wood - spruce, favorite block - diamond ore

╰₊✧ from “the sky’s the limit” to “whatever floats your goat,” the game isn’t done until he’s gotten all of the achievements no matter how stupid they may be! he’s pretty serious about completing, but once he’s finished, you can see him start goofing off and being more ridiculous. unlike his brother who plays the pranks, he tends to be the victim of them and can’t get revenge at all because his traps are a bit obvious (lucy always helps him out in that department). on the other hand, he’s great at pvp and fighting mobs, best with a sword, and likes to start raids to fight for fun with the “hero of the village” effect being a massive ego boost as well.

╰₊✧ his builds are pretty boring and cramped since he never upgrades it as needed, his house is really just a box made out of planks from the surrounding area. he didn’t think that you could create anything pleasing to the eye in a game where everything is made from cubes, so you’ll need to open his eyes to the fact that he can construct whatever he wants and how the only limit is his creativity. he won’t advance any further than using two different types of woods and including cobblestone, it simply isn’t his strong suit and he would much rather spend his time exploring and slaying his enemies instead.

╰₊✧ he has so many dogs, it’s not even funny, you need to turn down the volume for passive mobs whenever you’re at his base because they are barking nonstop. it’s not intentional either, he just somehow constantly forgets that feeding them makes them breed and can’t ever resist not giving them some steak when they tilt their heads at him. he gave up on naming all of them since he didn’t have enough tags and dying all of their collars after building a separate home for them, but the original ones that he tamed in the wild remain in his bedroom. despite the number of dogs, he refuses to take any of them on adventures with them because he will cry when unnamed number two hundred-something dies after sniffing lava and holds a funeral with a proper burial place.

[bumblecrisp]

the problem i have with arcane viktor isn’t that he’s no longer the machine herald we know from league, it’s that it is no longer a story ABOUT viktor. it’s a story about the arcane. ok does that make sense. stick with me here

viktor in s2 is taken over by the arcane. transformed by it. changed by it physically and mentally. it literally cleaves his mind in two to realize its form in his body. right? and that’s great! that’s genuinely really cool! BUT.

old lore viktor is taken over by OBSESSION. his own desire for improvement, for perfection, his hunger for progress. that is IMPORTANT. it is important to his character, it is very very important to me that we understand that viktor in s1 is by all appearances progressing along that path. viktor is dying, viktor is out of time, viktor is DESPERATE. he wants to save his own life, but crucially not as a selfish act. he sees himself as a VESSEL FOR PROGRESS. ok? that is so so important. viktor does not value his life as a human life, he only needs to remain alive so he can be a VESSEL FOR PROGRESS. i am dancing around yelling and waving my arms. this is SO crucial to his character and its like . so poorly handled in s2 it makes me INSANE i mean neurodivergent. i get that they were trying to do some evangelion thing but AAAAAARGGGGH they’re so WRONG about him.

ok? ok? do you see where i’m going. viktor is a desperate desperate man with a brilliant mind and shaking hands and he is working and he is working and he is out of time and he is going to do whatever the fuck it takes to give himself the chance to save his people. he is going to replace his flesh with silver and steel for sinew and platinum in his veins and he is going to tear out his own heart and replace it with a machine just for a little more time. he is absolutely selfless, and he is extraordinarily arrogant. ok? ok?

he is exceptional. he is a zaunite prodigy. he is the only hope.

he is a genius. he is a genius. it has to be him. his gears are softly turning and he is going to save his people. no matter what cost. no matter what cost. he is going to save his people no matter what cost.

and that is lost, in s2! it is so important to me. one of my favourite champion stories. and it’s gone. poof. what they have in s2 is just echoes. one-off lines about uniting the people, tossing out a “glorious evolution” to humour the old fans. it’s heartbreaking! he’s gone! the thing arcane fans don’t understand is that this isn’t just a rushed storyline, it’s a fundamental change to his character! don’t even get me STARTED on the whole thing with skye. the POINT!!! is that he makes SACRIFICES in the name of progress - himself! others! it’s all necessary evils for the greater good! they are so wrong about him im gonna lose it!!!!!!!!!

s1 viktor was beautiful, perfect, a wonderful WONDERFUL representation of the human he used to be, everything was in place, and then the whole character was sacrificed for a narrative tool to force a piltover/zaun reconciliation speedrun so they could keep it to nine episodes. it’s genuinely heartbreaking.

anyway. i should probably stop yelling at the wind and go write some fanfiction huh

[redwinterroses]

(part one) (part two)

Eureka was silent and mostly dark when they arrived, the only light shining dimly from torches placed around the buildings to keep mobs at bay. It was almost as small as Oakville, but there was at least a saloon, and what looked like a proper general store. 

Tango led the way to the saloon door, which opened—unlocked—under his hand. 

“Trusting,” Jimmy muttered.

“Rural,” Tango corrected, pushing the door inward and stepping inside. The floor creaked loudly under his feet. “Everybody knows everybody—and thieves don’t stick around long.”

The saloon was empty, but a single lantern burned on the bartop, shedding just enough light on the room that they didn’t trip over the rough, three-legged stools around the tables.

Tango closed the door behind Jimmy and nodded at the back wall. “It’s no hub hotel,” he said, keeping his voice low. “But there’s no creepers. We can sleep here for the night and take it up with Cubby in the morning.”

Jimmy looked at the hard wooden floor and thought longingly of the thin mattress in his train cabin. 

“I hate the frontier,” he said, pulling off his jacket and folding it into a rough pillow. “This city boy isn't made for roughing it.”

“Well, lucky for you: we won't have to.” Tango hopped up onto the bar and swung his legs around, slipping back off into the area behind the counter. “First rule of business: drinks.”

“We can’t steal—”

“I’m not stealin’ anything,” Tango said, scorn sharpening his whisper. He set a thick glass bottle on the counter. “It’s an understanding out here: water is for anyone who needs it.”

At the thought of water, Jimmy became suddenly aware of how dry his throat was. 

“Anyway,” Tango said, pouring them each a tumbler full of clear water, “I’m pretty sure Cub has his own rain basin by now, so it’s not like we’d be putting him out much.”

They drank the water—and second and third glasses—gratefully, and then Tango set everything to the side and said. “Right. And now, for beds.”

“Mine’s back on the train,” Jimmy said with regret. “I can’t believe I didn’t think to grab my satchel.”

“Not to worry, my friend.” Like a showman reaching for his next trick, Tango crouched under the bar, and his voice was muffled when he said, “Ol’ Cub has one rule he follows like a religion, and it's this—”

Jimmy heard the telltale sound of an ender chest unsealing. 

“An ender chest?” He leaned over the bar in awe. 

Tango looked up at him, a dim purple glow lighting his face from below. 

“Yes sir, yes sir—” Tango held the lid open and gestured toward the void-dark opening, the violet swirls of magic twirling through his fingers. “If you don't have a bedroll in yours, I've probably got some extra blankets somewhere.”

“No, no—I know I’ve got one packed away somewhere.” Jimmy had never owned an ender chest of his own—the materials were incredibly expensive in the spawn regions, and the silk touch required to maintain them was almost as bad. But he’d stopped by one of the public banks before leaving home and stowed away some of his belongings, on the assumption that someone out in the new generation would have access. 

This chest looked handmade, a little lopsided and patchwork, with plain iron fittings where every one he’d ever seen had been gold, and the obsidian casing was knapped roughly. But it seemed to work just fine as Tango slipped his hand into the oily dark and pulled out a sturdy bedroll. 

“Your turn,” he said, stepping back but holding the lid of the ender chest open for Jimmy, who hesitated. 

“And this Cub person—he won’t mind?”

“Nah. Worst case scenario, he makes fun of me for not bringing my own. Best case scenario, he’s got extras stashed away somewhere he wouldn’t mind partin’ with.”

Extra ender chests. Jimmy was boggled. Tango must have seen the look on his face, because he laughed a little and said, “Cub’s a pro. Used to speedrun in new generation up until a few years back. Man can hunt blaze like you and I hunt taters in a tater patch.”

Shaking his head, Jimmy reached into the icy darkness of the ender chest, feeling around the edges of his stowed items until he found the leather straps of his extra bedroll. He pulled it out, and then slipped his hand back in again. 

“It’s not whiskey,” he said, withdrawing a small cloth pouch. “But how do you feel about candied sweetberries?”

Tango’s eyebrows shot up and he grinned. “I certainly wouldn’t say no.”

They set up their bedrolls in the corner of the barroom, Jimmy purposefully placing his nearer to the door. He kicked off his boots, but placed them near to hand before untying the drawstring of the pouch and proffering it to Tango. The sweetberries—still chilled from their storage in the void-space of the ender chest—had been dried and dusted with sugar, and left sticky residue on whatever they touched. But they were a welcome bit of normalcy to Jimmy… they tasted like home. 

Tango took a couple and popped them into his mouth, closing his eyes at the rush of flavor. “Oh, that’s good,” he said. He pushed his hat off his head and let it fall behind him, his ginger hair spiking in all directions. “Thanks kindly.”

The room was dark as they settled in to sleep, and Jimmy found himself staring at the windows: slightly paler squares against the midnight darkness. Orange torchlight flickered faintly under the door, but not enough to illuminate anything.

He waited until he heard Tango’s breathing deepen and even out. Then, as silently as he could, he slipped his boots back on.

And… he sat, staring at the door and trying to muster up the energy to leave.

Tango seemed a decent sort. Even the type of person Jimmy could see himself becoming friends with, in a different world. He didn’t deserve the fate that came with befriending James Solidarity. Jimmy needed to get away before the curse really latched on.

…But surely an hour or two of sleep wouldn’t hurt. He was so exhausted he felt like his eyes were scraping sandpaper every time he blinked. If he could just nap for a little while, he could still slip out before Tango woke in the morning.

Reluctantly—knowing it was a stupid move and yet unable to bring his leaden limbs to do otherwise—Jimmy lay back down on the bedroll. 

Just a bit of sleep, he thought. The pouch of sweetberries slipped from his fingers and fell to rest on the floor between him and the door.

And Jimmy slept.

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Drabble-A-Thon Prompt 1

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: Mature

Prompt: Tomura's reaction to getting genital piercings for the first time and the conversation that led to it.

Contents: Mentions of sex, non-graphic descriptions of piercings

Dabi breathes out a huff of smoke, his body steaming from the sweat that has dripped across both of their skin, the aftershocks of his pleasure still ebbing away as Tomura pulls out from between his legs and lays down beside him. He's still dying of heat, but he doesn't really care much, immediately turning so that he can curl right into Duster's side, his lover ready for him, and pulling him closer so that he can press a kiss to his forehead. 

It's rare they have sex without a scene, but the sudden break from their obligations this afternoon prompted the spontaneity. "Not bad for a speedrun," Tomura murmurs against his hair. 

"Mm," Dabi agrees, all of the tension throughout the week having been thoroughly drained from his body. "Top three for sure." 

"With me or in general?" 

He can't help but tease him a little. "In general." 

"And why am I not in first place? You know I don't have a problem grinding to get a high score." If he were anyone else, if Dabi didn't know Tomura so well, he would have probably told him it was pathetic for him to get jealous like that. But Tomura isn't jealous, he's curious, and he means it when he says he'd put in the work to be the best partner Dabi can have in bed-- like he isn't already. 

He tilts his head up and kisses along and under his jaw, "Don't know how you feel about modding, but accessories like mine really do make all the difference."

"Okay, do you want a ladder like yours or something else? A Prince Albert?" 

Dabi blinks. "What?" 

Tomura looks down at him, amusement clear across his features. "Did you really think I would say no to getting a few piercings when I'm already changing my entire genetic composition to reach my goals? If you miss getting fucked by someone with piercings, then I'm happy to do that for you, firefly." 

"Really?" 

"Of course, baby. Show me what you want."

///

It takes them a week to get everything together and for them to have a couple of days off, and the day of, Dabi is practically vibrating. He’s not sure if he’s nervous about this, or if he’s excited, he just knows that his lover should definitely be exhibiting some kind of reaction besides blasé amusement. 

“Are you sure?” Dabi asks as soon as they have everything laid out and Tomura is sitting naked on the edge of their couch. “If your regeneration doesn’t work, then you could be healing for months, or have rejection, or get an infection–” 

“Firefly, my regeneration worked well enough that the doctor had trouble traching me. This will be fine.” 

“When the fuck did you need to be trached?” Dabi asks, his mind immediately spiraling away from his previous worry. 

“Last week when the electro therapy stopped my breathing–” 

“What?” 

“I’m fine. By the time he had the tube in my throat I was healing and trying to get him to stop shoving plastic into my throat. But if you’re nervous, we can find someone else to do this.” No. Dabi doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to risk having to look for someone that could turn attention back to them for something that they don’t need to be doing. “There’s nothing that you can do with a needle that will hurt me more than the ways I’ve hurt myself training. Come on, we can start with something simple, and work our way up from there.” 

“What’s ‘simple’?” Dabi asks, trying to let some of the tension in him go. Duster is right. With Tomura’s quirks, there’s nothing that he can do that will cause permanent damage. 

Tomura gets him to start with his ears. A simple lobe piercing on each side that Dabi fills with flat, circular golden studs. He doesn’t even flinch, and they wait five minutes. Five minutes where Dabi watches to see what happens. There’s slight pinking and a little blood after the initial piercing, but it disappears after a few minutes, and Dabi checks the hole. No raw edges anymore, just a closed ring of flesh that stays perfectly intact when he pulls the stud out to see if his skin tries to heal over again. But nothing happens. Tomura’s ears are just pierced now. 

Seeing the evidence of his lover’s seeming invincibility helps to settle Dabi’s nerves, but Tomura doesn’t let him move straight to his cock. Instead he has Dabi pick somewhere else he wants to see jewelry, and he ends up with pretty gold hoops through each of his nipples too. Then he moves onto his cock. 

“You’re sure about the placement?” 

“Course I am, precious. Want to make sure that you feel good no matter what angle I’m fucking you at.” 

Dabi knows his lover’s cock very well, but he feels like he’s looking at something alien as he takes the marker to map out the placement of the piercings. Dabi has six frenum piercings making up his ladder, and Tomura is going to have the same. He could easily have more but six is enough for now. They can add more if he decides he wants them. He goes slowly, making sure that everything is sanitized, that he knows the exact placement, and he gives Duster another chance to back out. 

“Firefly, I barely felt it when I broke my foot and got three of my fingers turned to paste. I promise that you’re not going to hurt me.” 

“Okay, but you’ve never had a needle shoved into your dick. Dick pain and bone pain are different.” 

“Firefly.” 

It’s a ‘quit stalling’ if he’s ever heard one before, and Dabi takes a slow breath as he retrieves the needle and lines up, pinching the skin at the point he needs for the first one. 

Tomura barely flinches as it sinks through. 

Over the course of the next twenty minutes, Tomura is patient, and his quirk keeps up the good work, healing each piercing as Dabi gives them, and soon he has his own golden ladder running along the underside of his cock and the PA sunk through the tip and underside of his glans. The ball on the ring there is going to definitely be noticeable  when he’s fucking him in hopefully the next ten minutes. 

“There–”

“I think I want one more thing, if you’re not going to pass out, baby.” 

“I am not about to pass out. What else could you possibly want?” 

“What about a pubic piercing? If I have the right anatomy for it.” Dabi doesn’t even have one of those so he thinks that Duster must have actually done his research. He checks the elasticity of the skin between the base of his shaft and his pelvis, and determines that it should fit without a problem. They select a curved barbell for that too, and when it’s in place with less fanfare because Dabi isn’t nearly as worried about fucking that up as he was his lover’s dick, he snorts. 

“You should let me do your belly button too.” 

“Why?” 

“It would be really funny the next time you train shirtless and the others see it.” He means it half as a joke, but the problem is, the thing that led them to this situation in the first place, is that neither of them ever know when to not rise to a challenge. So they end the session with a last curved gold barbell through his navel. 

Dabi picks up the used needles, antiseptic wipes, and little bits of soiled cotton, and goes to throw those away, coming back into the room to see Tomura looking at his handiwork in the mirror. 

“Anything hurt?” 

“No, and nothing’s bleeding, irritated, or swollen, firefly. It all looks perfect.” He then turns back to him and Dabi, now separated from the fog of stress that was swirling through him, is able to appreciate the look of his lover with the jewelry glittering across his body. Tomura was already unreasonably pretty since his glow-up in Deika, but seeing him now, with the jewelry that he put into his body, seeing his cock with that thick ring through it that he knows he’ll be able to feel each curve of it inside of him, immediately has his skin starting to warm a bit more. 

He must do a very bad job of hiding how hot just the sight of him is, because Tomura’s lips curl into a smug smile as he moves over to him, catching him around the hips and starting to back him towards the bed. “Come on, firefly. Time to give you what you were craving so badly, and see if these really are as sensitive as you say they are, or if you’re just a desperate, needy little whore.” 

Dabi is pretty sure that Tomura’s about to learn that both of those things can be true at the same time. 

Thanks for participating! If you want to join in make sure to check out the details here!

[princess-of-purple-prose]

Fish, 7 (For your prompts! ❤️)

Hi, anon!! Thank you for the prompt, you were the very first one to send one in! 7 was, again, the wildcard, so I randomly generated a different number to land on Yue Qingyuan (from Scum Villain)! I have no choice but to dedicate this to @bytedykes, because I told her about this prompt and she said “yqy pet fish mental health speedrun” and we went, uh, a little insane about it. Enjoy some yuefang, folks!!!!

“Mu-xiong,” Yue Qingyuan says. “I’m sorry to bother you. Are you available?”

“Yue-xiong is never a bother,” Mu Qingfang says warmly. “And I am, actually, yes. Is everything okay, Yue-xiong?”

“I think I need help.” A bit dramatic, perhaps, and Yue Qingyuan hates to trouble Mu Qingfang on a rare day off, but Yue Qingyuan and impulse have never been the best combination, and he would appreciate a second opinion.

Mu Qingfang’s voice turns hard. “Where are you? I'll come right away.”

“What—?” Yue Qingyuan stares at his phone like the blank call screen will tell him why Mu Qingfang suddenly sounds so serious. “I'm at home, but—”

“I'll be right there,” Mu Qingfang says, and hangs up.

Yue Qingyuan stares at his phone for another second, then lifts his gaze to his sparkling new aquarium. His new betta, white and black and resplendent of fin, stares back. Was his crisis of faith about his viability as a fish owner really so deserving of such urgency…?

—

“So,” Mu Qingfang says. “This was your emergency?” He looks about as unimpressed by the betta as it does by the two of them.

Yue Qingyuan feels obscurely like he’s being scolded. Mu Qingfang is one of the nicest men he knows, but that just means that his censure takes the form of a blunt instrument of mass disappointment.

“In my defense,” he points out meekly, “I didn’t say there was an emergency. Mu-xiong just assumed.”

“That’ll teach me,” Mu Qingfang huffs, but at least he looks amused. “Yue-xiong should get used to asking for help more so this gege doesn’t have to panic every time he does ask.”

Yue Qingyuan’s mouth almost drops open. He can only hope his cheeks aren’t as red as they feel. “Er—well, I asked this time, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Mu Qingfang allows, looking something horribly close to fond. Yue Qingyuan swallows and tries to hurry on.

“So—not an emergency, but I do want your opinion,” he coughs out. “I’m having… doubts. About the fish.” Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows contract. Yue Qingyuan rushes it out. “Do you think I should keep it?”

“Yue-xiong…” Mu Qingfang looks politely incredulous. “Why does my opinion matter? The fish is already yours, isn’t it? If you don’t think maintaining its upkeep will be feasible, that’s one thing, but… Surely Yue-xiong did the research before getting it?”

He doesn’t sound judgemental, but Yue Qingyuan feels his cheeks warm. “I did, but I wasn’t planning on getting a fish; I was only admiring the tanks. There was a salesperson who was… very insistent.”

Mu Qingfang regards him doubtfully, which is fair. Yue Qingyuan towers over most people he meets, and his bulk only further adds to the impression of immovability. It’s only when he opens his mouth that it becomes clear how spineless he actually is.

Yue Qingyuan falters. “I had thought… I thought it might be nice.” The bettas had seemed so majestic in their tanks, iridescent monarchs of false grass and plastic coves, and Yue Qingyuan had thought, wildly, that one might be rewarding to keep, might breathe a touch of life into his immaculately sleek living room. The whole affair hadn’t even been expensive by his shiny new standards, forget difficult to physically arrange. It was only when installation and set-up for his new aquarium had finished and he was left to watch that jewel-bright being swim disaffectedly through its new home that doubt had seized him, all-consuming and black. He had, admittedly, panicked a little after that.

(Yue Qingyuan’s apartment is very large, and very clean, and very empty. It holds the barest amount of decoration and muss to qualify as lived-in rather than a snapshot from a magazine ad. The fish may, in fact, be the only thing in the entire place which really qualifies as his. No wonder Yue Qingyuan wanted to jettison it from his life as soon as he got it.)

Mu Qingfang’s expression hovers between concern and simple confusion. “I’m sure Yue-xiong will be a more than adequate caretaker,” he says, more gently than Yue Qingyuan and all his neuroses probably deserve. “What’s this really about, Yue-xiong?”

Ah. There it is. Being the mildest person of Yue Qingyuan’s admittedly sharp-tongued social circle doesn’t preclude Mu Qingfang’s wit from being as keen as the scalpels he works with.

“I don’t…” Yue Qingyuan falters. How to express to Mu Qingfang how manifestly unfit Yue Qingyuan is to care for any living creature at all? He changes tack. “I think he hates me,” he admits dolefully.

Mu Qingfang stares at him for a long time, long enough to imply that he’s reevaluating certain opinions about Yue Qingyuan’s intelligence. “Yue-xiong, with all due respect to your new pet—it’s a fish.”

“Fish have emotions!” Yue Qingyuan argues. He flushes at the volume at which it comes out, and at the way Mu Qingfang’s eyes go wide-eyed in startlement. But the salesperson had been very insistent about that, as well. “Bettas are intelligent animals. They dislike certain colors, apparently, and they’re very sensitive—ah, to environmental disruptions, that is. And—”

Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows are still high, but his face has relaxed into a smile. “It sounds to me like you like it quite a bit already. Isn’t that reason enough to keep it?” His tone curls with sudden mischief. “Have heart, Yue-xiong—you’ve hardly known each other for a day! Give it time to adjust to you, and I’m sure you’ll win it over as surely as you do everyone else.” And he grins, sure and easy in his trust that Yue Qingyuan won’t fumble and shatter something so small and monumental as a life that he could cup in his palms.

While Yue Qingyuan is still dazed by that, Mu Qingfang’s eyes alight with interest. “Ah, Yue-xiong—what have you named it?”

“...”

Mu Qingfang’s face falls as devastatingly as it had lit up. “Yue-xiong…”

“Mu-xiong is aware that I was unsure of whether or not I’d keep him!” Yue Qingyuan is terribly aware that his ears are now heating up to match his cheeks. Mu Qingfang’s ensuing laughter does not help with that matter.

Yue Qingyuan is not very good at holding onto things. More often than not, he makes a mess of whatever he’s set his clumsy hands to, lets it fall right through his scarred fingers. But Mu Qingfang’s words ring through his head: Isn’t that reason enough to keep it? And, well, isn’t it? Surely Yue Qingyuan is adult enough to follow through on this. Maybe happiness can be look like his new betta swimming up to the tank to observe the new colorful form moving in front of it, can come as easy as Mu Qingfang quipping that his knowledge about fish is clearly lacking and vowing casually to read up on bettas to be a better fish uncle.

Yue Qingyuan buries a smile and walks over to let Mu Qingfang know that bettas can be trained to follow fingers around. The betta’s clear preference for Mu Qingfang over Yue Qingyuan is as good a marker of intelligence as any fun fact the pet shop worker could have given him. Yes, Yue Qingyuan thinks with a smile—he thinks he’ll be keeping this after all.