#you don’t have footage of who tf was in there before she escaped?????

[mzcain27]

Ahsoka being accused of everything and that shitty Jedi trial is SO FRUSTRATING

[keldabika]

headcanon in two parts, sorry. Ask does not miss it. 1.1 Oh, you know the insecticons from the tfp? Can I have a headcanon where a S/O person is on friendly terms with insecticons?

[TF PRIME] S/O Is Friends With The Insecticons

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* [S/O] meets them by accident quite a bit before the events of the Energon Eaters. Arachnid is still “leader” of the Insecticons by technicality as the only available ��Queen’ for the hive-mind, however she never really patrols the area or takes care of the hive as she should, rather choosing to wander as a free mind, disobeying orders from everybody.

* You had stumbled upon the hive while taking a short walk along the side of the Jasper highway, leading out of town and to an old coal mine you liked to inhabit on your days off work. A home-away-from-home of sorts, it brought you peace of mind to have a quiet place.

* At least you thought it was a quiet, desolate area until you broke through a thinning in the rock floor of the entry shaft and ended up crashing an Insecticon tea-party.

*It was a rather awkward fall, and it had injured your hip joint on the way down, leaving you temporarily paralyzed in throbbing pains and nerve damage.

* The giant bug-like robots and their shiny, metal wingspans immediately armed themselves and aimed at the shifting dust and rockfall, growling and chittering in a language of some sort, unknown to you.

* “Is it one of those ugly-faced Decepticons ploys again?”

* “It’s too small and squishy, much sooner to be a predacons’ chew toy than any weapon.”

* You looked super confused, absolutely stupefied, completely duped, utterly incomprehensible, awkwardly awed, amazingly idiotic, a-

* Their manner of speech and vocal patterns was practically lost on you. You could pick up remnants of a language similar to broken [language], but really nothing else. In an attempt to make contact with the metallic giants to gain help, you enabled your parroting capabilities.

* Humans have the stunning ability to mimic sounds and specific noise frequencies, at levels other earthen animals, especially mammals, cannot. Using this ability, you managed to copycat the grinding and chattering noises coming from the vocal mass of bug-bots.

* [S/O]: “¿Krrt-grrut vvurrr chechch?”

* Hardshell: “¿Buzzzz vert-tet-brrrz, Erreech?”

* [S/O]: “¿Erreech?”

* Hardshell: “¡VRREE BUZZZ-EECH CLICKLICKIK!”

* The contact went well, unbeknownst to you, and the successful communication meant that you might actually have a chance at escape, or finding a hospital!

* Congrats! You are now [Tiny Bug Child]! You have no idea what they were speaking about, unaware that they were contemplating how to execute you, but you successfully managed to evade death by being cute and cuddly! People say curiosity killed the cat, but it evidently saves the naive human-who-fell-into-an-insect-cult-meeting!

* Hardshell, the Insecticon you nearly landed on top of, begins to lift you out of the rubble, and place you down upon a makeshift stone table, partially destroyed by the collapse. The others—including Wingflap, Bombshell, Shrapnel, Blockhead, and Kickback—gather closely around you, cooing and chirping in their weird language again.

* This was, evidently, how you became the new Queen of the hive, though you didn’t know it, and managed to befriend your way through the entire enclosed community and worm into the spark of every Insecticon, though they were very few in number.

* You made easy friends with Bombshell, and remained close with him up until his untimely death by Bulkheads hammer fist. He would often lay atop the Jasper cliffside with you, and make out shapes in the clouds, constellations in the stars—regaling to you tales of the Old Cybertron, when his own kind weren’t so despised, and were respected as viable assets and allies amongst those with forms like and unlike their own—until the Autobot Elitists ensured they were seen as ugly and malformed, made to hide away in the shadows and step away from society for ‘the greater good’.

* It’s how you came to hate the Autobots—and Decepticons—for all they had done, to their planet and yours, and to your friends as well.

* Your mimicry slowly turned into actual speech patterns and recognition. Repetitive sound signals were a key portion of Archaic Insecticon speech, which made it easy to recognize simple words or phrases, each indicated by a set of whirs, clicks, or beeps.

* Now that you could actively communicate with most of the hive, it was far easier to make friends with even the hardiest of bots.

* Hardshell, of course, was tough to crack. At your constant insistance, he spoke with you once or twice, and made sure to acknowledge your presence when in the room, as well as save you a seat at the underground pub every other weekend. It wasn’t actually a pub per-say, rather a dugout chamber with smooth walls and some stone slabs insert for seating, where the cons enjoyed engex they could sneak off the Nemesis from time-to-time.

* After awhile, he warms up to you, welcoming you back to the hive every day after work, standing alongside his multiple siblings, and pushing others aside to get to hold you first.

* Meanwhile this all happens, they still don’t know what a human is. Their simple understanding of earth comes only from what they’ve seen on the highway from the cliffside, or from video footage of the Autobot pests on the Nemesis. Due to their bulky size and noisiness, they’re banned from most human-inhabited areas.

* Don’t doubt that some of them have attempted to follow their [S/O] home. They have. And some of them won’t stop trying. It’s been more than one awkward encounter between you and some teens to get them to realize they could get you in trouble.

* You all eat [dessert] together sometimes, made with energon supplements for ‘The Boys™️’, with some good ol’ 25-something-kg of sugar mixed in.

* The boys were worried when you didn’t show up for a week due to hospitalization via severe food poisoning medical coma.

* When Arachnid finally returned to Earth, and her fight against Arcee had proceeded about as well as expected, she located the hive and proceeded to force them to engage in business with Megatron. She believed that by implementing her own soldiers amongst the ranks, she’d be better equipped to backstab Megatron when the time came.

* She was undoubtably surprised when Hardshell and some others adamantly refused to take part in her plans at first, until she enforced their compliance through the hive-mind.

*When she learned of your existence, and the very gauge of your importance to her former hive, she came at you with full force.

*The Insecticons were fully unprepared to deal with a fight between their small [S/O] and an extremely angry ex-Queen. In refute, they returned you to the surface without so much as a goodbye, and begged you to escape before Arachnid scented you out.

* It was soon after these events that you learned of Breakdown’s death, Bulkhead’s coma, and Bombshell’s demise due to the combined effects of a substance called Tox-En and injuries sustained during his battle with Bulkhead. It broke you inside to learn there was nothing you could have done to help, but you refused to disobey their pleas to stay away for awhile.

* At the hive, Arachnid rules supreme. Being able to control the hive-mind was a feat a human was incapable of achieving, only Cybertronians able to easily access the imbedded chain of command.

* Hardshell mourned the loss of a true friend—a small, squishy human—but a friend nonetheless.

* Wingflap and Kickback went through a collection of memories you’d left behind with them. Pictures and small objects gifted over the years, a small treasure trove of important parts of their lives, now without you in them.

* Shrapnel stims a lot more now, and has nervous tics that he believes are the result of the loss of his dear friend. He knows you aren’t dead, least not yet, but he knows that you’ll likely never come back.

* Blockhead, as dumb as everybody thinks he is, is actually very emotionally intelligent. He has a way with words he barely understands, and [S/O] acted as a big support for someone like him. Without them now, he can no longer function like normal, and now has nobody left to talk to.

* Arachnid could care less. She absolutely despises [S/O], and would smite them for all she cares. You matter little to her, and only worry her for the loyalty and capacity of her troops.

* It isn’t until the Energon Eaters appear that everything turns completely south.

* [S/O] finally builds up enough courage to march themselves back down to the mine, and demand to meet Arachnid face-to-faceplate.

* The desert is hot, Nevada is hotter, and the trek down the highway seems endless and tedious. You pass by 5 interstate signs on your way to the hive, and count the steps it takes to reach the entrance, parched by the time you make it there.

* In all your sweaty glory, you, [S/O], make your way down the carved pathway into the mineshaft, dark and cramped—just as you left it.

* But everything is exactly as it was left, not an item out of place. The entire hive was empty, including of those you cared about. Their rooms are full of memories, and their energon cubes still lie in a corner, collecting dust and grime.

* The search seems profitable, yet it leaves you with nothing, and the emptiness of the hive echoes around you, and in all the chambers, through the cavern walls of every room.

* You know they’re gone, that they have left without you, and without so much as a simple passing note.

* Perhaps someday you’d find them, hiding away in another Jasper mine, but you never would.

* In their haze of a hive mind, they barely even remember the face of the human they left behind. A long line across the moon—stretching on for miles—and a vampire on a false throne, draining the lifeblood from their veins, and the image of [S/O] from their minds.

———————————————————————

✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨

[chalkrevelations]

OK. Moving on, slowly but surely, Episode 2 of Word of Honor.

For anyone only just peeking inside my door, this is a re-watch, so there are SPOILERS not just for this ep, but possibly for the ENTIRE SHOW. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch it unspoiled.

So, the major thing that hit me during this episode: On re-watch, with context, Wen Kexing’s thirst is now super-complicated by the fact that he thinks he’s recognized the Siji Manor Swift Moving Steps™ from A-Xiang’s throwdown with Zhou Zishu at the end of Ep 1. He gets his confirmation in this ep when he goads ZZS into their first fight, in Chengling’s (badly green-screened) peach-blossom front yard. This complicates the stalking and the flirting, particularly the poetic references WKX uses here to talk about ZZS’s footwork, giving it a level that ZZS (along with the audience, back on our first time watching) simply doesn’t have the context to understand yet. (Well. ZZS not getting all the info that WKX has. That’s the start of a pattern. I mean, at this point, WKX certainly doesn’t owe this random guy a peek into his deepest traumas - EVEN THOUGH it would make things about 10000x less complicated, which is also part of the pattern - but I’m just sayin’. It sure is the start of a pattern.) So ZZS blows off WKX as a PUA asshole with an apparent kink for rough trade with appalling facial hair - just like all of us, as the audience, at this point, were beginning to watch open-mouthed at the speed and intensity of WKX’s thirst for some apparently random dude who he spotted tits out, drinking himself to death in the gutter. Don’t get me wrong, WKX is still thirsty as hell, and he was out to tap that even before he saw the Siji Manor Swift Moving Steps™, but now it’s all mixed up in memories of his shixiong that we won’t see, and ZZS won’t know about, for several more episodes. WKX’s still not sure this is the same guy, but it’s at least an associated guy. So our additional context from later episodes now makes it look like all the stalking isn’t just about having the hots for some rough trade who keeps flashing his collarbones, it’s also about regaining a kind of emotional intimacy that WKX hasn’t had for umpty years of trauma and abuse and killing his way up the ladder. This specific flavor of emotional intimacy isn’t something he can get from A-Xiang, even if she saves his heart – this random drunk dude is triggering some memories (that we won’t see for several more episodes) of feeling protected and cared for, unconditionally, and this guy is literally the only person left in the world who could/can make WKX remember those kinds of feelings. And WKX chases it like he’s starving, because he is. Because anyone in his position would be. Prince Jin will eventually do the same kind of thing to ZZS, grabbing onto him like a drowning man at the only thing he thinks will keep him afloat.

Also, WKX may have had slightly more home training than A-Xiang, but he’s had a lot more – and more recent - grooming by a psychopath. I remember reading somewhere that Zhou Ye talked about how A-Xiang seems slightly off, not quite right in the way she acts, at the beginning of the show, and this was a deliberate acting and directing choice because she was raised in the Ghost Valley, literally doesn’t know how to act right in normal society, and has to learn how as the show goes along. I feel like we see some of that with WKX, too, not just in the hard sell with ZZS, but also in some of his mannerisms and reactions – less so than when he’s playing it up in the Ghost Valley, but still noticeable. I think you can see this in the aftermath of the fight with the ghosts, when both WKX and A-Xiang are watching the reactions from and interactions among ZZS, Chengling and Boat Man, and they both seem kind of ... baffled? Occasionally taken aback? At normal reactions that the other three are having to events. When you set them together in that scene, it’s noticeable, particularly with the way A-Xiang keeps checking in with WKX as if to say, really? This is how humans act? It’s little things that on my first time watching, I initially wrote off to …. not necessarily bad acting, but to overacting, to Gong Jun maybe not being quite settled into WKX’s skin yet, that smoothed out as Gong Jun got more comfortable with the character and with playing off of Zhang Zhehan and seemed more ... natural. NOW, I wonder if this also was deliberate, if this is WKX not being quite settled into a human skin, which smooths out as he gets more comfortable in acting human again and in being around ZZS and Chengling. But meanwhile, he’s like a starving feral dog who’s spotted a piece of meat, and I chose every bit of that metaphor specifically, because psychologically and emotionally, that’s what’s going on, and it’s the way ZZS reacts to him, too.

ZZS is already gun-shy and touch-averse at this point (see the moment he jerks his hand out from under WKX’s hand at 31:20, while they’re both transferring energy to Boat Man) – he just wants to be left alone to die, is that so gd hard? - it’s clearly a trial for him to have to even be around this many nattering idiots. But I also have to think some of the instincts that made him so successful and kept him alive for so long in Tian Chuang have to be screaming at him, every time this rando approaches him, that something is not right about the guy. And even when you’re as suicidal as ZZS is right now, instinctive behavior is hard to overcome, and we see how quickly he steps back away from WKX, at 12:58, when WKX steps close enough to invade his personal bubble. At the same time, everything in WKX is screaming at him to plaster himself to this guy. And so, we set up the constant WKX push, ZZS retreat that we’ll get for several more episodes.

Other thoughts:

Chengling got the spirit I guess, but my lord. He gets beat down and gets his sword took about 5 times in the space of a minute and a half. Good thing his Xiang-jie is there. (Have mentioned how much I love A-Xiang? I just want to be sure everyone knows how much I love A-Xiang. Already. She is a fierce, feral, ray of brightness in every scene she’s in.) Here’s the thing, though – knowing what we know now, I can’t believe not a single one of the Ghosts says “WTF, Amethyst Fiend, why are you making this difficult for us to get the Glazed Armor your zhuren wants us to get our hands on?” They MUST recognize her. Or is this a set-up that the ghosts are in on, to make Chengling and whoever’s with him trust WKX and A-Xiang? But who knew Chengling would even escape? And that seems unnecessarily convoluted when they could just kill him and Boat Man. Did the plan get tweaked when ZZS showed up? If so, I can just imagine what these rank-and-file ghosts are thinking about what WKX wants this kid and this guy alive for, given they don’t know he’s trying to destroy the Ghost Valley – maybe that WKX’s going to do the same thing to Chengling that was done to him by the previous Ghost Valley Master. (Oh. Oh, although - here’s an AU thought – what if ZZS hadn’t turned up at just this particular moment? And what if WKX had intended to kill Chengling, too, along the rest of his family (I mean, presumably this IS what was supposed to happen)? But what if this Ghost Valley Master - whose heart has been fatally compromised by A-Xiang – sees this little soft-hearted soft-eyed dumbass, with his parents and everyone else he knows and loves dead and on fire around him? What if he does end up collecting another kid, at that point? THEN WHAT HAPPENS? Complicated by the fact that WKX’s got emotional skin in the game from jump, in this scenario, but Chengling knows up front about WKX’s part in the Mirror Lake massacre.)

OH MY GOD. I had to watch the same four seconds of footage about five times to try and figure out what’s going on, but there’s a point during the fight with the ghosts when ZZS is still having his Seven Nails Torment Moment, and Boat Man is busy dying, and Chengling is, well, Chengling has been beat down and had his sword took, and meanwhile A-Xiang is dealing with one of the ghosts, and another one’s coming up behind her, getting ready to brain her with his sword. And then at 29:01, it looks like he gets yoinked backward, and he goes crashing through a door, but then there is – I swear to god, y’all – a shot of two walnuts (remember those?) falling on the ground near him, and I guess the implication is that WKX, still hidden in the shadows, knocked him backward by throwing a couple of Walnuts of Death at him? Who knew Wolong’s Famous Nuts were crispy, delicious, and good for self-defense?

Oh, WKX. “Zhou Xu.” It’s so close, isn’t it? So close to “Zhou Zishu.”

Second ZZS/WKX physical fight happens over ZZS insisting that WKX leave Chengling tf alone and stop trying to see his injury. Well, there’s the beginning of another pattern.

[nukenai]

Have had a lot of Thoughts in my head today due to listening to Earthbound music, so I wanted to try to write up a “little” thing about my relationship to the series and my currently difficulty with it... and also Super Mario RPG, and Geno, and what those mean to me, because the two series are totally intertwined with my life and each other. I’ve written this sort of thing before but idk, I got Smash on the brain and shit.

TWs for domestic abuse and familial death.

So. I was probably 15 or 16 when I got into the Mother series. I’d started getting into playing Melee a lot more for some reason and I decided to start playing as Ness, the one character I always had severe difficulty with. Long story short I looked up Earthbound, got a ROM, blah blah. My mom wound up buying me a physical copy even though I told her she didn’t have to bc of the price. I cosplayed Ness to like every con. My mom bought me a blue and white striped shirt and HAND PAINTED the white stripes yellow, and surprised me with it one day. I wore my Ness outfit to Brawl’s midnight release.

I honestly don’t remember HOW I got into Mother 3 but I got my hands on a copy. My Japanese teacher let me play it in class because she considered it studying (the fan translation didn’t remotely exist yet). I even got the Mother 3 Deluxe Box, so I have the Franklin Badge (which is now in rough shape from wearing it on my Ness cosplay hat for YEARS), and the Mother 3 gameboy micro! (it’s actually next to me right now, I bought a display stand for it the other day).

My cat is named Lucas! I’m sure most people know that but yeah, he’s named after Mother!Lucas because of course he is.

Back in those days, I kind of lurked on Starmen.net. I didn’t really post on forums much because they were never really my thing and still aren’t, but I just kind of poked around there and was on /v/ a lot in the Mother threads. For some reason, in certain Mother circles, there was a prevailing attitude... which was that you didn’t like SMRPG. The idea was that SMRPG was to blame for EB’s poor sales(????) and that it wasn’t as good of a game(????) and that we should be angry at it(????????). It made sense to me as a 16 year old! I mean, my favorite game ever, Earthbound, didn’t sell well. and that’s why Nintendo doesn’t care about it. And it’s ALL MARIO’S FAULT. AND GENO’S. FUCK HIM.

I didn’t know who Geno was in 2006-2007. Only when Brawl was announced and pre-release hype started did I learn about him. I started seeing him everywhere on /v/ threads and on deviantart, and my dumb ass was like, “who tf?”

Some more quick backstory. I did not grow up with an SNES. For some reason we skipped it. I had an NES, then we had other things like a Genesis and PS1, then N64. We had an SNES briefly when borrowing it from a friend, but the only games we had were DKC and Chrono Trigger. I was like 7 years old at this time so I barely remember wtf was going on then. But, we never owned one, and never had the chance to play ANY other SNES games besides those two.

Our household was a console war-free one. We loved Mario, we loved Final Fantasy. We didn’t care about company or console or anything, we just liked good games. So, SMRPG would’ve been an amazing addition to our house. We would’ve loved it. Somehow, it escaped it. Maybe the world wasn’t quite ready for my intense Geno love yet.

Anyways, I hated Geno in 2007, once I learned who he was. I went around trashing SMRPG, a game I had never played or had any interaction with (I don’t think I’d even seen any gameplay footage wtf), and yelling about how Geno was a stupid character who should never be in any other games, because I, an angry 16 year old girl, said so. (At least I didn’t pull out the line many angry 16 year olds have nowadays, which is that nobody played SMRPG. ?????????)

So Brawl comes out. Quick summary of Lucas’ reveal and my experience: I stayed up until 2am every day to check the Smash Dojo website -- we called it JAPAN TIME! -- but I skipped it one day, because I was in high school. My Japanese teacher asked if I wanted to check “the Super Smash Update” in her class like I usually did if I’d forgotten the night before, but I said nah, it’s fine. I’ll check it at home.

AND THAT UPDATE WAS LUCAS BEING ADDED.

So that was bananas. At this point I already had my cat and he was a few months old so it was all very weird! And we had just moved into a new house.

At that time, I was living with my mom and stepdad. My stepdad was a domestic abuser. He emotionally and physically abused my mom and threw us out of the house on multiple occasions. I was picked up from school more than once by my mom with all the animals in the car and was told, “We can’t go home today”. To this day, half of my belongings are missing forever because we had to leave them behind while fleeing him.

One time when we escaped to where I currently live, my grandparents’ house, my grandmother (who I live with!) berated my mom for being “overdramatic” and only let us stay a week before convincing her to go back to stepdad. Oma has also recently told me that she thinks my mom was “mouthy” and basically deserved to get abused by her husband, so that’s very fun.

Anyways, Earthbound was basically my saving grace during all this shit. I intensely hyperfocused on it and Smash Bros. as a way to cope with the utter shit I was going through. Like I said, I was in high school during all this and didn’t ever miss a day of school because of it. I failed one class only, because my English teacher did not care that I was dealing with not being able to live in my home. Lmao. (I later took a summer class with the best teacher ever, wound up being an extremely formative experience for me. Second day said teacher handed me back a piece of work with an A on it and leaned over my desk and asked, ‘Why are you here? You don’t belong here.’ Very cool guy thank you Mr. Fairchild for looking horrified when I told you my story)

I remember spending a month or two at my mom’s friend Janet’s house while we were trying to find an actual place to live. Me and my mom had to sleep in the same room. Phantom Hourglass had recently come out, that was really fun. I taught Janet’s young daughter about Zelda and Smash Bros. I remember her thinking Roy was cute!! We played a bunch of Melee together.

We eventually got a little house to rent. Brawl came out. Mom went to the midnight release with me, taking pictures of me in my Ness outfit, standing outside in the cold of March because the Gamestop was not big enough for all of us! They held a mini tournament while we were waiting and I had signed up weeks beforehand. (The guy at the counter worriedly told me I had to be 13 to sign up-- i was 18 at the time LMAOOO this is my life). When asked what character I wanted, I nervous yelled, Lucas! So I got to play as Lucas for the first time. But I had to use the Wiimote and Nunchuks and I was shaking uncontrollably. Won my first round though!

So anyways Brawl was great! Loved Brawl. So much fun. Then people started datamining it, and found a list of “lost tracks” - they were txt files of song titles that were removed. I was PISSED because there were like NINE Mother songs on there, and also the Ballad of the Wind Fish. FUCK.

But there was one other song that caught my eye. The title was “morinokinoko”, which everyone rightly assumed to be Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms. (The Smash wiki or the cutting room floor, can’t remember, currently disputes this, but they are morons because mori no kinoko ni goyoujin  is literally the Japanese title of BTFM. You fucking morons.)

Anyways, someone put together an album called Brawl - The Lost Tracks. They collected as-official-as-possible versions of the cut songs. I downloaded it and enjoyed some Mother songs and the Wind Fish remix, wherever it came from.

So I was sitting there at my computer, staring at the folder. Squinting at Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms. I was saying to myself, That’s that Geno guy’s song. The Super Mario RPG song, people called it. I had never heard it before. I was bitter and angry at this Geno guy and I hated him and his dumb game. So I don’t know what made me listen to the song. I think I thought something like, how bad could it be? I should give it a chance. It’s music.

And boy, this is long, but I won’t get into it. I’ll just say, I wept at my desk, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world, that I let my anger and stupid ego keep me from a song like this for so long. And just like that, my emotions did a 180 and Geno was like a savior to me. I felt rescued from a lot of misdirected anger and pain. I was going through a lot, you know? It’s not surprising that I acted like that.

When we had that little house we rented, things started going well. Mom started dating this nice guy who had horses. She bought me a copy of Super Mario RPG for my birthday, and a weird bootleg SNES thing to play it on. I remember sitting in my mom’s boyfriend’s house on a summer day, playing SMRPG. I remember staring at the big TV as Geno leveled up and learned Geno Whirl. I took a photo of the TV with my crappy digital camera.

Right as SMRPG entered my life, i felt like things were finally going to be okay.

So then, of course, my mom got sick. She got sick while we were living in an apartment; our rental on the house only lasted so long. Everything was crashing down again. Our lease was up on the apartment, and we had to move in with my grandparents. My Opa (grandfather) had had a stroke and now mom was sick. We lived in the house for a year. I helped Oma care for both of them as they withered away.

Opa died in May 2011, 2 weeks before my birthday. Mom died that October. It was not a good year.

A lot of my memory of that time feels blocked. We could only visit my mom once a week when she went into the hospital in July, supposedly for an overnight stay, but she never left. I was going to college. When she died i took one day off, then was back to class, which horrified my professors but what could I do? I had tests. I remember my friend Rose and her friend running up to me immediately, asking if i was ok. I wasn’t, but like, yeah. It was different than having someone die suddenly. I’d been watching my mom die for months and she had been unresponsive and not conscious for weeks. I had already said goodbye to her a while before that, I guess.

So I guess when I felt my most lost, I still had Geno? I still had things like hope he would get into Smash. I still had Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms. I’d always liked to stargaze, since I was the tiniest kid, but since 2008 I had an extra reason to look up at the sky and hunt meteors and make wishes. Wishes that good things would happen to me and that I’d be alright.

My bad times are so tied to Earthbound and Mother. And after I lost my Mother, going back to Mother 3 - my favorite in the series - was just a little bit harder. I’m not making this up, but my mom really loved Sunflowers and all our houses were decorated with them everywhere. So, that’s fucked up. I have a copy of Mother 3 with the fan translation installed, so it’s in English. A couple years ago I decided to finally play it. I got until maybe 1/3 of the way through Chapter 2 before I had a massive panic attack and breakdown and had to stop playing. Haven’t touched it since and don’t know if I ever will.

It’s hard to listen to the game’s music sometimes. It’s hard to talk about it sometimes. There’s a kind of unspoken agreement going on in my life I guess - my friends pretty much NEVER bring up Mother 3 around me. I don’t know if it’s by coincidence or not, I know not all my friends read my internet posts. But I do actively ask that people don’t talk to me about it now, unless I bring it up. It’s been 10 years but sometimes I am just Not Up for reliving my trauma in public, you know?

Mother 3 has the dead mom trauma, and Earthbound has the domestic violence trauma attached to it. It’s a lot. Super Mario RPG to me is the healing, the better. Yes everything came crashing down, but that was so long after I’d been saved by it. I had something to believe in with Geno and Smash and wishes and stars and music. Something to live for, I guess.

So December 2020 was a bit of a rough year for me, lol. I am legitimately very damaged and traumatized by what happened in December, and I try to joke about it. In the past couple of weeks I’ve been able to say, I do feel like I’m healing just a little bit. But it really feels like the last thing I actually believed in and had hope for was shot down. For a couple months I was legit living my life like it had no purpose and I had nothing to live for. I sold some belongings and was spending money recklessly and almost started drinking.

And I haven’t talked about any of this because literally nobody has asked how I’ve been doing in months. No one has checked up on me or considered that I was seriously upset. I’m only a little bitter about it, but I’ve put a little bit of distance between me and the people who either actively harmed me in December or very blatantly didn’t reach out. I will give credit to the several friends who DID actually send me messages after that shit. I won’t name them or anything but you know who you are, and I’m so thankful for you. It was maybe 3 people? I know it’s easy to get bored of me, but for fuck’s sake.

A friend even told me that some of his friends were sending messages to HIM, asking if I was alright. Which is cool, but maybe also reach out to me? I am human and do need legitimate, active support sometimes instead of nebulous “here for you <3″ tweets on random Tuesdays.

Anyways. That’s baaasically my story leaving chunks of time and repeated Sadness Fits out. That’s the backbone of it I guess. Dealing with the death of a parent at 20 years old is fucked, especially when you were a sheltered baby like me who relied on her mother for everything. I had to buck the fuck up and do everything myself.

Another thing I should mention. I have many family members that live close that are in regular contact with my immediate family. Not a single family member offered any help or support during that time, or even acknowledged what was happening. Not a single family member has ever asked how I’ve been since my mother’s death. No one ever brings it up. No one brings up my mom’s death, or the domestic violence we both suffered. If I try to mention it, I’m told to forget it because it was “so long ago”, but I was also told to do this maybe 6 months after my mom died. My family is not a neglectful bunch, but this was just one issue they could not be fucking assed to deal with, I guess.

Several times I texted my sister, begging to come to her house because mom and stepdad were having a physical fight and breaking things. But she had to work the next day, so you know, of course not. To this day, no apology, no acknowledgment. It’s assumed I have stopped caring, and I’m the bad guy for ever bringing it up.

So like, idk yeah go ahead and say I’m “obsessed with Geno” or whatever. But here’s the reality: I’m a 30 year old adult who has a full time job. I’m in amazing standing at my job and I’m great at it and my old supervisor was angry at my new supervisor for taking her best agent when I got a promotion. I’ve been in the workforce since a few months after my mom died. I hold down a job. I pay my bills. I’ve got pets and horses I care for. I have a car I make payments on. I have NO debt. I’m not exactly a 19 year old on twitter who calls an anime character their Comfort Character and talks about them nonstop, and who also cannot make phone calls without having a breakdown afterwards.

I don’t wanna be shitty toward other people who weren’t forced to put up or shut up as aggressively as I was. But I get very annoyed at my accomplishments being degraded, my single-handed progress disregarded because “man, all she cares about is Geno getting into Smash”, or whatever. My family is very like this, getting on my case about having fucking tattoos or pets without ever asking me what I do at my job.

I work very, very hard. And I currently live a life I’m proud of that I enjoy. But because of a life of emotional abuse (from my mom, definitely, but this isn’t the time), I’m constantly second-guessing myself. I’m stupid for wanting a couple more frogs even though it would add about $15 a month to my expenses and they would make me extremely happy. I’m wasting my time getting a trainer for Rogue because I was stupid to get her to begin with. Shit like that. Idk.

But deep down I know I’m proud of myself and I know my mom would be proud of me, so I just wish I had the energy to tell people to fuck off more. Who cares if they think I like Geno too much, or whatever. I’m at a place in my life where I’m the priority, and I can afford to make myself happy, so I’m gonna do it. It’s a fucking miracle I’m still alive with all the shit I’ve been though and I can still get through a day with a smile on my face.

This isn’t really an ending and went kind of off the rails. It’s all happening bc on the drive home from the vet (Barnaby just had an establishing visit, no concerns), I put on this song and just sobbed my whole way home, thinking about all of this. I honestly feel that if Mother had remained my Primary Thing, I would’ve continued to be angry and bitter and would’ve never begun to heal from the things I went through. And maybe I’ll never completely heal, but most things don’t ever completely heal.

10 years is a long time to kind of actively avoid an entire series that means so much to me. I’ll dabble periodically like I am now with putting on my Mother playlist and crying at it for hours. But hey, I’m getting there. I’m trying to work through my hurt in my own way. And if gets to be too much, there’s always the 10 hour loop of Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms, which I super actually legitimately have on my ipod. (It’s a 180gb one, it does not care).

So.. I guess that didn’t really address a LOT, but I kind of just wanted to rant and scream incoherently about how my relationship with the Mother series became very complicated very quickly, and how SMRPG basically rescued me from falling into the worst possible places.

And as I was driving home I was thinking of something, about how painful it is for me that Geno leaves at the end of the game. Because when he leaves, it means wishes can come true again. If I never beat the game, Geno never leaves, but Star Road remains broken and wishes cannot come true. So I have to say goodbye to him in order for things to go back to normal.

But I said something on twitter earlier that was more stupid than profound. I said that if I wind up being the last person alive who cares about Geno, then so be it. Because he’ll never be truly gone or forgotten until I’m gone. And I’m so fucking obnoxious about my love for him that through whatever legacy I’ve left, he’ll be remembered, too. Even if every other person on earth forgets about him, there will still be me. And if I hang in there, he’s hanging in there.

This song. This song.............. This song is really, really a lot in regards to all this, and him, and it’s what I’ll end this mess on.

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 13 + 14.11.20 lbs

13.11.20

i’m just gonna skim through this one, coz i don’t wanna dwell on the death and maatam and all.

hahahahahahahahaha riddhima is screaming at god for letting this happen and kabir is like “bhagwaan ko beech mein kyun laa rahi ho, mujhe bhi toh credit do!” i truly love this crazyass fucker.

riddhima continuing to scream at god about vansh jissne “KOI KABHI BURA KAAM NAHI KIYA HAI” ?!?!?!!?!?!?!? sis what the fuck???? first of all, none of us over the age of like...... 7, are truly sinless. and THIS MAN PARALYZED AND THREATENED TO KILL YOU MULTIPLE TIMES, FFS.

KABIR IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I AM KABIR

now she trying to throw herself off the cliff and for some reason i cannot understand, kabir is holding her back????? literally why, my bro????? let her die, saaari musibatein khatam. ugh, you still have some kinda residual feelings for her from your not-that-kameena days, don’t you?

asalkdjaldkjsaldkjsalkdjl riddhima ke andar OG prerna ka bhoot chadh gaya, she hitting kabir with danda the way Mother India did dhulaayi of yudi in the disco (still one of the most iconic scenes of tellywood for me, istg)

dude, idk if it’s just ego waale possesive issues or he still has feelings for her, but kabir def wants riddhima to be “his girl”. even after danda beating he’s trying to help her as she stumbles around in sadma.

anyway she sauntered off rubbing that stupid muffler of vansh’s on her face. SIS YOU GONNA BREAK OUT IF YOU RUB SUCH GANDA KAPDA ON YOUR FACE.

5 min of flashbacks of vansh. fwding.

family (dadi, chanchal, and all the rest of the riff-raff) has come back home and ghar is all dark.

weird how angre is also with them. i woulda thought he’d be on whatever tasks vansh set him on, instead of doing mandir yatras with these assholes.

mummy has decided to break news in most non-tactful way ever. wearing all white and has set up photu with haar already.

yeah, requisite screaming and crying blah blah. nahi dekhna.

i’m only here for ishani and angre’s reactions. bechaare look genuinely devastated. i mean dadi does too, but bohut hi zyaaaada overdramatic and i’m getting uncomfortable.

riddhima has returned.

to her surprise everyone already knows. zara dimaag lagao behen, how they even found out before you reached??? (ok no i understand you’re numb from trauma rn and can’t think of all this, but i hope your idiot brain thinks of it later.)

WHY THE FUCK IS DADI YELLING AT RIDDHIMA KI TERE HOTE HUE KAISE HUA YEHHHHHH, WHO THE FUCK IS SHE TO TAALOFY GIANT COSMIC DECISIONS LIKE LIFE AND DEATH????? isse apni khud ki jaan nahi sambhali jaati, let alone someone else’s.

holy shit she’s actually saying, “tu toh uski dhaal thi, uske liye tuney goli khaayi thi, iss baar kaise chook gayi????” MAN, FAMILIES OF DESI BOYS REALLY BE FUCKIN WILDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WITH THEIR EXPECTATIONS FROM BAHUS. one time she took a bullet for him wasn’t enough????? you want her to actually fucking die before something happens to him. god forgive me but i really wanna slap this dadi rn.

mummy cooking up some fucking ridiculousssssss story about gunde in the house and how vansh was chasing them and gaadi khaayi mein gir gayi and god knows whatttt

ok she’s saying siya got the call about it and she was running down the stairs while in shock and now whoopsie daisy, she’s in critical condition (probably in a coma or some shit.)

aryan looks sad at the siya news. thank god this mummy ka niyana has basic consideration for someone else other than himself and his mother.

mummy ka rona dhona drama fwding.

ishani is now yelling at angre. which..... kinda deserved. you’re his safety person dude.

ok too much crying. fwding.

riddhima asking mummy why you lie to family about how he died. mummy like how tf i tell them police dragged him out and he died in an encounter for trying to escape. it’s better for them to not know the truth. which.............. ok fair, but coming from this shadyassss woman......

god this mummy ka ainvayi praising vansh waala scene is going on too long. fwding.

riddhima back to room. some more flashbacks. OUFF. FWDING.

obligatory kamre ka tod-phod scene. FWDING!!!!!!!!!!

fell asleep crying and holding one of his coats.

LMAO ISHANI KA MANN NAHI BHARAA GHAR KE ITNE CASUALTIES SE............ SHE’S LIKE WHAT’S ONE MORE????

dadi slapping ishani for doing what any one of us would do, honestly, so.... whatever. fuck off dadi.

ishani telling 100% truth ki jabse this useless b has entered my bhai’s life, his problems have been never ending, i’m fucking sureeeeeeeeee she’s the reason he’s dead. the only voice of reason in this show, truly.

dadi all WOH EK HAADSAAAA THAAAA, NOONE CAN CONTROLLLL THOSEEEE, oh yeah, not the sentiment that you were expressing to riddhima when she walked in, you stupid old bat. whatever, i’m fwding this scene.

kabir and mishra have entered house. coz they are awwal no. ke sadists. need to get off on watching this family cry and suffer.

LMAO THE LOOK RIDDHIMA GAVE KABIR. HE’S LEGIT SCARED OF HER.

angre bhi staring daggers at kabir. chal hatt, i know for sure you’re behind saving vansh and stashing him somewhere to crawl out whenever it’s the right time. 

body nahi mili blah blah blah

lol this one’s face clearly says milegi bhi kaise, main tum logon ki tarah nikamma nahi hoon. i have 16% success rate. it’s low but it’s more than y’all 0%.

lmaoooooo oh DOW DIGGY DIGGY DOW DIGGY DOW DOW, i love you sooooooooo much.

ALSO WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO MAAROFY THE PUN KI “MAINE VANSH KE VANSH KO MITAAAAA DIYAAAAAAAA” severely disappointed in you, kabir.

yup. appropriate response. to just generally all the men in your life.

lmao riddhima like you arrested vansh ONLY COZ I LOVEDDDDDDD HIMMMMMMMMMMMM. lol the amount of self delusion. sis, his feelings for vansh were faaaaaaar more powerful and intense than anything he ever felt for your dumb ass.

kabir saying there’s nothing left for you here, why don’t you come back to me and lmao............... he tried.

 “riddhima nahi. riddhima vansh raisinghania.” 

ok whatever you say, sis. i’m just grateful to god this manhoos episode is finally over.

———————————————————————

14.11.20

redo of last scene.

lmao kabir is like I HATED VANSH WAAAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOUR DUMB ASS FELL FOR HIM. YEAH I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU PICKED HIM OVER ME, BUT I’M NOT SO BAD THAT I’D TAKE REVENGE FROM HIM FOR THAT. yeah, dude. he just wanted his money; not youuuuuu. like..... chillll. kahaan se aata hai logon ko itnaaaaa confidence khud pe???

kabir saying i had proof vansh killed ragini, i found his watch there next to the body. she’s like i had it, i took it to repair it, and ragini died in front of me. vansh wasn’t anywhere near there.

lmao she’s back to shoving him around. what an annoying bitch she is. 

kabir like did you SEE who shot ragini? no????????? then it could very well have been vansh, right????? plus i got that footage from 3 years ago.

she’s like hein hein heinnnnn where you get it from when i burnt that chip????????? OH NOW SHE’S USING HER BRAINNNNN. SO WAS VANSH THE ONE RENDERING HER SO FUCKING STUPID? NOW HE’S NOT ADDLING HER BRAIN WITH LUST HORMONES, HER 3 BRAIN CELLS ARE FINALLY WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! take this as proof, ladies. MEN MAKE YOU FUCKING DUMB AS SHIT BY JUST MAKING YOU BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS THEM.

kabir saying someone from inside the house probably saved it and sent it. and that vansh made all this happen by taking mishra’s gunnnn and forcing them to take the sunsaaaan paaath and he tried to runnn and blah blah blah.

again he’s asking her to come be with him and she’s like gtfo i don’t wanna see your cuteass face anymore, you’re dead to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok she didn’t say the cute bit, i did. i think y’all already knew that. but how to resist??? he sho cute!!!!!! 

mishra like this b kuch zyaada nahi bol gayi???? 

“dil par jo chot lagti hai, woh nazar nahi aati, but ghaav bohut gehra hota hai. yeh dard maine bhi mehsoos kiya tha, jab riddhima mujhe chod ke chali gayi thi vansh ke paas.” heinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn? now he suddenly is/was truly in love with her again???? bhai, tu decide karle, ki if she’s just a pawn to you or something more. ainvayi jhool raha hai idhar udhar.

mishra like, ok whatever, but where vansh’s body tho???

clearly not him. the head shape alllllll different.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS THEY FINALLY PUT RRAHUL’S FINE ASS IN JEANS!!!!!!

again, no wedding ring. dead body is not vansh.

“bhagwaan jaane kahaan chali gayi uski laash.” lmao i really loled the way he delivered the line. i really love him the mostttttttttt.

kabir you are honestly suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh an idiot, if you think not getting his body is a good thing. DON’T YOU KNOW HIM AT ALL??????? AT ALLLLLLLL????? NO BODY MEANS HE’S STILL OUT THERE, BIDING HIS TIME TO FUCKING COME GET YOUUUUUU.

he’s like good, vansh didn’t even get antim sanskaaaar. who knew kabir was sooooo religious??????

vansh so efficient and independent ki khud ka kriyakaram kar raha hai. aatmanirbhar ho toh aise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not before he maarofied his own pocket tho.

“bohut jald iss VR mansion ke aage KR mansion ka signboard hoga.” hein???????? the R in there is for RAISINGHANIA. why the hell would you add one random surname to your name??????

YEAH. I KNOW THOSE CHITTAAA-ASSS EARSSSSSSS.

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BHAGWAAAAAAN NE MERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SUNNNNNNNNNNN LIIIIIIIIII THEY MADE HIM SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE ASALKJDLKJDSLAKJDLASKAS

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THE DUMBASS FAKE DEEEP VOICE IS GONE TOOOOOOOOO ALKSDJSALKDJLASKJDLSAKJDLASKJDLASKJDLKJLKS I JUST

styling also EXAAAAAAACTLY HOW I LIKE IT.

helllllllllllllllllllllllo hunny. NOW YOU’VE MADE THIS SHOW FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY WORTH WATCHING. bas thodaaaa saa tharakkkkk ka maska i need to make my tellywood viewing experience sooooooo much easier. AUR WOH MUJHE AAAAAAJ SE MIL GAYAAAAAAAAAAA.

ok 13 days later.

bitch looks better after going through life-altering trauma than i do on my most stable mental health days.

talking to portrait about how the misery is unending, etc. etc.

kabir still calling her. WHY??????? dude just take the L and move the fuck on.

lmaooooooo mummy is like 13 din rone ki acting kar karke aankhon ki band baj gayiiiiii. 

standard mwahahahahaha we succedded bufoonery from too complacent evil ppl. dumb dumb dumbbbbb!

but let’s admire this evil cutie bean.

riddhima’s mangalsutra which she justttttt set down on that bureau missing. she in a panic.

ofc these two are behind it.

ishani wants the truth about that dayyyyyyy and aryan jumping in about how riddhima never loved vansh and just always doubted him and blah blah.

my question is since when aryan loves vansh bhaiiiiiii so much huh???????

anyway. this happens. and those two are left plotting some more about getting the truth out.

VIHAAAAAAAAAAAN is the new name.

seeeeee????? i knew his ass had some lucrative skill in the current economy. he some tech bro types.

CAN YOU BELIEVEEEEEEEEE THEY HID THAT FUCKING JAWLINE AND THOSE DIMPLES UNDER THAT BEARD FOR 5 WHOLE MONTHSSSSSSSSS. FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS CRIMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unf, boy got cake. that ass just needed shirali to stay tf away from it.

also askdjalskjdlsakdjlaskjdlkj they turned ragini’s container waala room into his hacker man cave. what a wonderfully multipurpose room!

honestly, i’m just soooooooooo relieved i can just watch this show for eyecandy now. kaleje ko suchhhhhhhh thandak, yougaizzzzz.

banda khud vansh ke net worth (5000 cr.) ko dekh kar hairaan pareshaan. yeah, this much wealth accumulation is fucking immoral, asshole. you vansh did deserve to get thrown off a fucking cliff.

show laaaaaaaaaakh convince karne ki koshish karle ki yeh koi aur hai, my bullshit meter says it’s vansh vansh and no one else but vansh.

unrealistic af, someone PRINTING photos out in this day and age. what kinda tech person are you???????

lmao he’s checking out each photo for each family member and the commentssssssss.....

rudra chacha and chanchal chachi: “kaafi expressive faces! koshish bhi kare chupaane ki toh bhi chupaa nahi paa rahe ke lomdiii hain yeh ghar ke.”

aslkdjaslkdjlsakjdlskjdlksj i already like him better than old vansh.

aryan: “doosron ke bharose jeene waala.”

ishani: “raisinghania hone ka bohut ghamand hai, magar bechaari ki shaadi angre se ho gayi.”

how he know that if he not vansh????? angre not even in this set of pics.

siya: “kehte hain jo chal nahi sakte, unka wifi network bohut strong hota hai..... kab, kahaan, kya pakad le, koi nahi jaanta.”

“aur yeh hai....... RIDDHIMAAAAA....... iss parivaar ka most special aur khoobsoorat member.”

“moh aur maaya...... dono ka mel [...]”

yup, i definitely like this cheeky and cheesy persona better than the murder-threatening-paralyzing shit we had to put up with earlier. happy days, you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[incorrectcrows]

Obligatory high school au

Kaz

- straight A’s because he’s such an angel! (And maybe because he has the math teacher’s sex tape, the science teacher’s criminal record, footage of the PE teacher selling crack, and slips the English teacher some bills whenever he stops by.)

- comes to school twice a month but his attendance is always marked

- never comes for school, comes to talk to a teacher or to threaten someone before they get beaten up in the parking lot

Inej

- Tries to come as often as she can

- B’s and C’s because she only comes once or twice a week having to do stuff for Kaz

- Stopped Kaz from making teachers give her good grades because she wanted to do it herself

- Teachers are very afraid because they know she reports everything to Kaz and gets the blackmail

- nice but reserved, will shut people tf down if they try to bother her or ask about business in school

- escaped being “homeschooled” by Tante Heleen

Jesper

- foreign exchange student

- used to be a straight A student before falling in with Kaz

- gets Inej to tell him when tests are and aces them all

- Inej is irritated he can ace everything without studying at all

- got teachers to change “never shows up” to “should participate in class more” on his report card that he sends to Colm

Wylan

- transferred mid year from the preppy school across town

- top of the class in math and science

- sleeps and listens to music in English

- takes all tests on a computer because he can’t write but has memorised the keys

- thinks “oh the people aren’t that bad over here”, unaware the last person who bothered him was beaten to an inch of his life by Kaz

- got Kaz’s attention after almost blowing up the entire school in chemistry

Nina

- A’s and B’s

- POPULAR

- Nina “everyone wants me for a friend or a fuck” Zenik over here breaking hearts and being gorgeous

- has “friends” but abandons them whenever Inej is around because she’s the only person she likes

- trendsetter, copied by all

- is technically “friends” with Matthias but is always down to fucking fight

- “it’s not natural” “I’m gonna go eat Jessica out, enjoy being ‘natural’ you zealot”

Matthias

- moved here after his isolationist radical Christian father was arrested

- C’s and D’s but can start a fire in five minutes and quote all of Revelations

- saw his first not white person at 16

- silent and serious and everyone’s afraid of him and he’s afraid of everyone

- saw Nina where a skirt above the knee and was SCANDALISED

- Nina is the only person who will talk to him because guys think he’s way too serious and self righteous and girls don’t want to be slut-shamed and told everything they do is “unladylike”

- who am I kidding he’s Tara Westover

- CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT will happen in this fic I’m never gonna write

[girlswithp90s]

Hellsing Ultimate watches Hellsing Ultimate Abridged

Imagine that the Hellsing Organization has a rather inactive day. And during that rather inactive day, someone (I reckon it would be Pip) goes online and finds Team Four Star’s infamously legendary Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, and shows it to everyone else. This is how I believe our protagonists would react to it. 

Alucard

He’d have the worst reaction XD As in, he’d probably take it as a sort of mockery of him and everyone else. XD I mean, with his Abridged counterpart being...ya know, over-the-top and doing the most idiotic things to piss everyone off...let’s just say he’d be like that one friend whose getting teased relentlessly by their friends...and they’re not liking it one bit. 

Yeah. He’d be pretty butthurt about it--bitching about how his voice doesn’t sound like Abridged!Alucard, how he doesn’t go about killing like him, how he doesn’t act so damn stupid like him at all, etc., etc., etc. I imagine he was just a hairsbreadth away from shooting the laptop the animated monstrosity is playing on LOLZ. 

He legit wants to tease Walter so bad about the whole thing with Girlycard but can’t without possibly getting teased himself LOLZ XD

Also later on, he ends up stealing Pip’s laptop and looking up Adventure Time, then gets into the mercenary’s Netflix account, and watches the first 2-3 episodes. In other words, Adventure Time is fascinating LMAO

However, not that he’ll ever admit it, he does find a few of the quips Abridged!Alucard says pretty good. Anderson having an Irish accent in place of his actual Scottish one gives him another reason to hate the guy, lol. The poor guy can’t be around Seras and Pip without them bringing it up and mercilessly teasing him, and Integra won’t let him remove their heads from their bodies. XD 

Seras

She’d be pretty surprised at the distinct voice difference between her and her Abridged counterpart. And she’d be a little appalled at the lack of internal conflict of Abridged!Seras, but ultimately not surprised. Speaking of surprised, she finds herself laughing at the parody’s absurdity...a lot. 

But she’s not alone in that area. Pip is laughing right along with her in moments that are just terrible. Things that they face everyday that are no laughing matter. For example, Jan doing a double-take on Seras’s anti-tank rifle was worth a shared laugh. Also, most of the things that come out of her “master’s” mouth, stuff she knows she’s not supposed to laugh at, but does, in that way you know what's going on is messed up but it’s so absurd you have to laugh. Even when her actual master is giving her and her familiar the stink eye for it. LOL 

Alucard, admittedly, did let out a few laughs, but Seras knows better than to bring that up.

But the funniest part is she and everyone else can see Alucard doing a few of those stupid things, i.e., yelling, “Fuck the police” and tilting every single painting in the hallway, lol. (That becomes an inside joke amongst Pip and a few of the Wild Geese within the next couple of days XD)  

She finds a lot of her scenes really badass. Her demanding Zorin Blitz to say her name and declaring herself the Vampire Queen of Hellsing is her favorite moment. She doesn’t know how to feel about the “bitches love cannons” thing. 

Pip 

Pip’s the one that finds it. His reaction would be like anyone else who just finished the first episode: “WTF?! How did I get here?!” Heaven knows what made him decide to show it to everyone else in the Mansion.

He doesn’t really see much difference between himself and Abridged!Pip. But he can see himself coming up with running gag of one-liners. He and Seras actually try to come up with a few afterwards. :) 

But the majority of the time the two of them are watching it, they’re laughing at stuff they know they deal with are serious matters. Pip takes it just a little less to heart than Seras; it’s kinda just in the guy’s nature to smile in the face of danger, after all.  

He's pretty sure Walter has always been a supernatural being, and there’s nothing, not even the not-so-faithful butler’s story, that can convince him otherwise. 

Walter

I’m pretty sure he and Integra both are the only ones curious as to how the guys at TFS got all that footage, seeing as though all of that actually happened. (Alucard’s more concerned about who they are and putting bullets in their heads, XD) Overall, he’d have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, the Hellsing Organization is a top-secret organization and their actions are meant to be done in secrecy. (Or...at least they were...at least to some extent...) But on the other hand (not that he���s gonna say this out loud), but he has to give kudos to the guys for having a good sense of humor. 

Even though he’s seen and done some pretty horrifying things in his 70 years of life--even though in the back of his mind he knows Integra would never ask this of him--he never wants to “peel someone’s dick like a banana.” He can be sadistic and downright cruel (he certainly was at 14-15), but I can’t see him going down that route. 

Like Pip, he can’t see much difference between himself and Abridged!Walter. To him, the honestly most amusing bits were him attempting very obvious reverse psychology on “Alucard” and succeeding--with fairly obvious (knowing Alucard) results, and the conversation between him and Integra before he leaves her to escape. He actually wanted to laugh at that last one because it is sadly true (it was a good thing she’s a fast learner), but kept a poker face for her sake and Alucard’s. (Seras and Pip don’t help things. Giving them baleful looks and death glares only make Pip laugh harder.) 

Integra

Integra is in the same camp as Alucard; some reasons are the same, some reasons are a little different. She finds the entire thing to be incredibly juvenile and completely inaccurate. (Why would she ever have the need to send Alucard and Seras all the way to Japan?) She doesn’t find her Abridged counterpart to be fit to lead something like the Hellsing Organization. In fact, she finds her portrayal disgraceful. She initially believes the people responsible for making the parody are people from inside the Organization. But after doing her research, all the people making the parody turn out to be from America, and Hellsing doesn’t really have very many American employees, nor do those employees have any content posted to the Internet. Right now, she’s currently trying to figure out where the people behind Hellsing Ultimate Abridged are located so she can personally speak to them. 

(Ultimately, I don't know if she’d have them killed, because, technically, Millennium exposed what they were trying so hard to protect the people from, safety-wise and knowledge-wise. But then again, I could see her just thinking “They’re gonna DIE DIE DIE!!” after seeing it.) 

I imagine Pip would be forced to do a lot of extra housework and training after the whole thing is over. XD

Character analysis and the like is something I need to work on. I hope I got this somewhat accurate, yet I also hope I gave you some amusement. 

Also, how do you think the Hellsing fam would react? Was there something else you think one or more of the characters would say about it or do? Any and all thoughts (that aren’t hate speech) are welcome. :)

Thank you again, TeamFourStar, for the adventure, the laughs, and the references. May God and Her Majesty always be with you. :)

[sofhyuck]

Terrace House!AU Haechan

Genre: fluff, bullet point scenario

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N please read the introduction first!

when you were dropped off at the house you completely expected to be the first to arrive seeing as it was 4 in the morning

but when you opened the door you saw another pair of shoes in the foyer and could hear someone moving around the kitchen

all previous fatigue left your body because shit you were not expecting human interaction this early in the morning you just wanted to slip into bed and s l e e p

your brain was going full throttle trying to think of ways to slip around the mystery person and just hide in your room when the front door slammed closed behind you, crushing all hopes of escape in its wake

you froze, luggage in hand, as the kitchen turned silent

a head slowly peaked around the corner and holy shit the sun rose early today because right in front of you was none other than lee donghyuck, sunny boi haechan himself

his smile nearly blinded you, a soft ‘hello’ fell past your lips

however, upon making eye contact with you, haechan’s smile faltered, a greeting failing to leave him

marking it up to a lack of sleep, you quickly introduced yourself before excusing yourself to your room

a few hours later and you finally felt rested enough to go out and meet the rest of your housemates, plus someone was cooking and it smelled absolutely wonderful

while making yourself presentable, you were able to meet your roommates as they were floating in and out of the bedroom

they were both lovely, one a fashion designer and the other a graduate student studying agriculture idk this was the first thing i thought of

after cleaning up a little you left the room and headed towards the kitchen where your roommates had informed you everyone had gathered

as soon as you entered the room you were once again greeted with haechan’s smiling face

he was sat at the table chatting with the fashion designer and another male figure who looked around your age

his eyes locked with yours and suddenly he froze, causing his two companions to turn and face you

your roommate’s face lit up in delight, glad that “you finally decided to grace us with your presence!” 

a small laugh escaped you and you settled into the only available seat left remaining, next to the male who introduced himself as jihoon, an aspiring artist, the same age as yourself

upon discovering you were the same age the table filled with teasing “ooh’s” from your surrounding housemates, all except haechan

he shifted uncomfortably in his seat while you hid your face in embarrassment

after everyone settled down, introductions were made and you all began to break off into your own conversations, all except for hyuck

every attempt you made to engage him was brushed off with one worded answers

you and jihoon found common ground in your love for hiking, your agriculture major roommate, aeri, joining the conversation halfway through

slowly the kitchen began to empty and you found yourself alone with hyuck

before you could even open your mouth, he stood up abruptly and rushed out of the room, mumbling something about being late for practice, leaving you flustered in your seat

weeks passed and your bond with jihoon and aeri grew, but still no luck with haechan

it seemed that everyone in the house except for you was his best friend

every time it was the two of you alone in a room, he suddenly became flustered and made up an excuse to leave

you did your best to remain unbothered, it would be a lie if you said you had no feelings for hyuck, i mean he was your bias but no one needed to know that 

all you could do was pray the production team wouldn’t make you look like an idiot once the footage aired nobody wants angry fangirls coming for their ass

you did your best to ignore the awkward interactions and hung out mostly with jihoon and aeri

you grew closer with each day, and when jihoon told you he liked aeri you almost woke the whole house with how loudly you fangirled

aeri had just told you she was gaining feelings for jihoon a few days before so obviously you took this as your initiative to set the two up since you had basically given up all hope on your love life rip hyuck wyd get your act together

so you decided to do something you all loved: hiking ik this a weird choice i just need it for the purpose of this fic and i now realize this could have worked with yuta better pls give me a break

so you find the perfect trail and plan everything out perfectly and you tell jihoon and aeri about this amazing new trail and you should all go together!!! and they’re like hell yEa!!!!

but then jihoon suggests you invite hyuck bc he happens to have a day off that day and he seems really stressed and a nice hike could help clear his mind lol @ hanbin and well you’d feel like an ass if you said no so you hesitantly agree

and jihoon’s all great!!! bc he sees this as his chance to set you and hyuck up he’s roommates with the kid he knows he has feelings for you silly kids so oblivious to each other’s feelings

so that’s how you end up on a hike with haechan while simultaneously trying to set up your two best friends

part of said plan was to tie your shoe and tell them to go ahead without you, leaving the two alone, but now you have no idea how to do that with hyuck there as well

the four of you begin your trek up the mountain making small talk aka jihoon trying to get hyuck to talk to you

and miraculously, somehow it works bc now you and hyuck are having a small conversation

but the whole time you’re glancing up at jihoon to make sure the two of you are falling behind

unbeknownst to you haechan is getting annoyed bc you’re talking to him pay attention to him >:( also he’s highkey jealous of your friendship with jihoon and he’s convinced you like jihoon despite him constantly telling hyuck it’s not like that

as the distance between the two groups grows you can feel hyuck growing more and more frustrated with you and he begins to speed up

assuming he’s frustrated because you’re slowing him down, you finally decide to reveal your plan to him

you scramble to catch up to him, not paying attention to the terrain and woops there goes your ankle

you let out a small cry and hyuck’s head whips around to see you sitting and cradling your foot

boi frEaks tf OuT

he turns to call for jihoon and aeri but they’re already out of sight and he doesn’t want to leave you alone so he zOOmS down to you

“don’t you hike all the time i thought you were supposed to be good at this?”

“ShuT UP hYUcK i’m in PAIN” you yell at him and he blushes bc a) you’re cute when angry and b) you called him hyuck omg he’s so soft for you

but he snaps out of it bc the love of his life you’re hurt!

since he’s a dancer he’s no stranger to injuries, especially rolled ankles

he props your ankle up while the camera crew calls for help

and you’re just sat there mumbling on about how “well this is one way to make the plan work”

and he looks over at you confused bc “what plan?? wait omg did you bring me out here to kiLL mE IS THAT WHY YOU WERE SLOWING US DOWN????”

but you’re just like omg no hyuck i was trying to get jihoon and aeri alone so they would cOnFEsS!

ad he’s just like...oh...but...don’t you like jihoon why would you want to set them up?

and at this point you completely forget about your ankle bc you want to slap the obliviousness out of his head

“no i don’t like him why would i be trying to set him up with aeri if i did??”

“well that’s wHY i was AsKInG!!!”

“ no i don’t like him i like you you idiot”

911 hyuck found dead on a mountain his heart exploded

you both just freeze while the production team is just smiling bc damn this episode is going to get the views to sKyrOCket

now hyuck is all (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ while you’re all (⊙ω⊙✿) bc fuck you just confessed to this boi who hasn’t even spoken to you before today

but hyuck just sits back on his heels and huffs and gets all pouty so now you’re all confusion bc y is this boy sad does he hAtE mE OH MY GOD

but then hyuck just goes “this whole time i thought you liked jihoon and i was too shy to talk to you so i thought i lost all chance with you but this whole time you liked me why am i so dumb oh my god the guys are never going to let me live this one down-”

and you know what you do to shut him up? a kiss on the CHEEk girlies not the lips consent is number one

and he blushes oooh boy and production crew is about to diE bc they know they’re getting a season renewal after this episode

eventually jihoon and aeri come down bc they noticed you guys went missing smh they were too wrapped up in each other

and they’re holding hands and smiling and you’re just like hell yea that’s my otp except they notice the paramedics around you so they’re all concerned but you’re just like nah fam it’s fine anyways tell me what happened on top of the mountain hmmmm ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and they go on about how it was so romantic and you’re eating up until they noticed you and hyuck holding hands and now it’s their turn to interrogate you two

somehow you all make it off the mountain and your ankle was fine just need to ice it and you’ll be all good

a few days later after your ankle is 100% you and hyuck go on your first official date 

you get dinner and then walk around hongdae a bit before returning home and chill watching the tv

but hyuck can’t focus bc you just look so prEtTY and you can’t focus bc omg why is this boy staring at me???

you look over at him and make eye contact bc, well, he can’t take his eyes off of you

time freezes and you both slowly lean into each other until your lips meet

the kiss doesn’t last long bc you both can’t stop smiling

meanwhile the cameramen are all crying bc yall are just too cute and the producers are ready to be rolling in cash

the rest of the show is spent with you guys and jihoon and aeri fighting over who’s the real otp of the show while the other two housemates just watch in amusement like “oh these kids”

Masterlist

[leavengersassemble]

So under the cut is my guess at the general timeline of events that happen in Thor Ragnarok based on everything I’ve seen/read so far (obvious spoiler warning). I’ll be putting asterisks next to everything to indicate my certainty for each event:  * - I’m guessing more than I am certain, but still have some info that backs it up ** - I’m sure at least some part of it happens, but may be wrong on little details *** - I’m 99% to 100% certain it happens 

- ***Movie starts with Thor fighting mini/low powered surtur. Thor’s been cruising the galaxy for two ish years now just going on wacky adventures with his hammer.  - ***Something happens which draws Thor back to Asgard  - **When he arrives in asgard some sort of play is going on (retelling the events of the first movie) and it’s during this that Thor either realizes Loki is impersonating Odin, or confronts him about it - **Hela invades Asgard and starts some real bullshit. This may actually happen before the play scene / be the reason thor comes back. She may potentially kill some or all of the warriors 3 + Sif.  - ***Thor is pressed as hell and drags Loki’s ass to earth to find Odin - ***Some girls ask Thor for a photograph and Loki eye rolls all the way to phase 4  - **On earth Dr Strange apprehends Thor and offers his assistance in finding Odin because he doesn’t want Loki on his planet either. Odin has lost his memory and goes around acting like a crazy hobo, declaring the world is ending. Not sure if/when Thor and Loki actually find him.  - ***Hela gets wise to their plan and confronts Thor and Loki in an alleyway and destroys Thor’s hammer.  - ***Thor and Loki book it tf out of there and try to get back to asgard on the Bifrost.  - ***Hela apprehends them and takes them both out, first knocking Loki off and then Thor.  - ***Thor lands in Sakaar, the dumpster of the galaxy.  - ***Thor is captured by Valkyrie and taken to the grandmaster through the willy wonka world of pure imagination tunnel. (This was in the comic con footage)  - ***The grandmaster decides he’s a good candidate for the gladiator matches and throws him in the holding cell with all the other competitors.  - ***Thor meets Korg and Korg gives him the rundown on the grandmaster / sakaar. Basically the grandmaster “owns” everyone on Sakaar and no one is allowed to leave. Competitors are forced to fight to the death in the ring and theres one opponent in particular that has never lost a match and is the Grandmasters favorite. (spoiler alert: it’s Hulk)  - **This is where I start to get really shaky on the timeline because I’m not sure where Loki fits into the picture. Obviously he landed on Sakaar too but somehow weaseled himself into the Grandmasters good graces just enough to keep from being thrown in the ring himself - *I’m assuming the Grandmaster offered Loki some kind of deal where he chooses and competitor and the Grandmaster chooses a competitor, and if Loki wins he gets something (like his freedom, to leave sakaar, etc) and if the Grandmaster wins Loki has to do something for him, but idk what.  - **So then Loki discovers Thors there too and obviously picks him to be his champion because he knows Thor is almost unbeatable.  - ***This is when they shave Thor’s hair and get him ready for the match.  - *They throw Thor in the ring and Loki has to announce who he’s chosen as his competitor. Instead of hyping up Thor he makes fun of him which pisses Thor off and he’s like “Loki you’re embarrassing me!”  - ***Then the big oh shit moment comes when the Grandmaster introduces his opponent and it’s Hulk.  - ***The beginning of London Bridges by Fergie starts to play in the back of Loki’s mind because this is the ONE fucking opponent that could beat Thor’s ass.  - **Thor goes “YESSSS!!!! Loki, look who it is!” and starts trying to chat up Hulk. “Where have you been, everyone’s been so worried about you! I don’t hang with the avengers anymore, it all got to corporate.” He turns to the grandmaster and says “We know each other! He’s a friend from work!” Back to the Hulk “So much has happened since I last saw you, blah blah blah, I lost my hammer yesterday, blah blah blah, I went on a journey of self discovery then I met you”.  - ***The Hulk clearly doesn’t remember/give a fuck about Thor and starts trying to murder him.  - ***Thor’s like “you’ve gotta be kidding me” and starts fighting for his life.  - ***Cut to Loki and he’s grimacing while Thor gets his ass kicked.  - **I’m also really shaky on the next series of events. Something happens in the ring that stops the match / leads Loki to flee. Your guess is as good as mine.  - ***Loki makes a break for it. Valkyrie apprehends and captures him.  - ***Thor and Hulk are now sitting together in a waiting room and have the “Hulk like fire Thor like water” conversation.  - ***Thor confronts Valkyrie and asks for her help in defeating Hela. She wants to know if he plans to do it alone. He says “Nope, I’m putting together a team”.  - **Valkyrie is super skeptical of this because Hulk is in the back going “No team, only Hulk!” and throwing shit. Valkyrie says she has someone that might be able to help.  - ***At some point after this Hulk shrinks back down into puny Banner and he asks Thor how he’s been and compliments his short hair. “you cut your hair, it looks good on you!” “Oh you think?”. They also have the “you and I had a fight recently” “Did I win?” “No, I won, easily” “That doesn’t sound right” “Well, it’s true” conversation.  - ***Valkyrie: “This team of yours, has it got a name” Thor: “Yeah its called the.....revengers” Valkyrie: “The Revengers?” Thor: “We don’t have to have a name, we could have no name”.  - ***Valkyrie brings them to her “person who might help” and it’s Loki tied up in chains. He goes “Surpise!!!” and Thor throws something at him because he’s pissed Loki tried to escape the planet without him.  - ***Bruce says “Last time I saw you you were trying to kill everybody, how you been” and Loki replies “It varies from moment to moment”.  - **Operation escape Sakaar begins. Bruce is flying a spaceship with Valkrie operating some kind of machine gun thing in the back. The rest of the planet goes into full riot and Korg from before is seen fighting with everyone. Thor and Loki are probably on the ground fighting at this point.  - ***“The Revengers” make it off Sakaar and back to Asgard. They confront Hela and her minions on the bifrost  - ***This is where the rest of the movie goes completely blank for me as not a lot of the third act has been shown in trailers. All we know is there’s a battle on the bifrost and a huge battle for Asgard. “What were you the god of again?” Thor does the lighting eyes thing.  - ***Hela can summon unlimited weapons at will.  - ***Fenrir and full powered Surtur show up and hulk fights them both.  - **There’s also a Thor / Hela fight inside the castle. This is where the “I’m not a queen or a monster, I’m the godess of death” line comes in.  - ***Again, really no idea how the rest of the movie goes down. All we know is Thor somehow ends up flying through outerspace and landing on the Guardians of the Galaxy’s windshield (this is in the infinity war footage). 

Other random details: - Heimdell has gone rogue, no idea how he fits in  - The warriors 3 and Sif are definitely in it, but how much of a roll they’ll play is uncertain  - Hulk doesn’t want to turn back into puny banner  - There’s a scene where Hulk punches Loki and fist bumps Thor - Hela is said to be one of the most interesting villains in the MCU to date 

[kekepuaa]

Ladyblogging, part one

summary: in which marinette realizes that the internet is a lot smarter than she thought and that the only way to protect her identity is to join the ranks. identity reveal. adrienette. notes: this is gonna suck to format. irrelevant bit of info here: in this fic, the ladyblog uses wordpress. --

part one: damoiseau in distress [AO3]

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The Ladyblog Alya C., Paris, France.

Join Date:  2015-09-01

Keeping the world up to date on the latest and greatest news regarding Ladybug and Chat Noir.

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F.A.Q.

1.) How do I report Ladybug & Chat Noir sightings? Click this LINK HERE or tweet me @theladyblogger.

2.) How do I subscribe to your livestream? Subscribe to The Ladyblog and download our app! Once you do, push notifications should be activated.

3.) Are you a LadyNoir shipper? I’m an AlyaBug shipper. Yes.

3.) Do you know Ladybug or Chat Noir’s secret identities? No...not yet :)

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Alya C. @theladyblogger 3,421 Followers//1,094 Following

Alya C. @theladyblogger One of the students at my school says she’s friends with #Ladybug! Deets to come! (And possibly an interview!)

Adrien Agreste and 87 others liked your Tweet LadyNoirShipperxo and 46 others Retweeted your Tweet

N I N O @djxbubbler in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger D U D E. Like, real talk?

@theladyblogger in reply to N I N O @djxbubbler Take a gander at my blog, my dude :-)

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The Ladyblog Posted: 2016-04-16 

Subject: Could Collège Françoise Dupont’s Newest Arrival’s Be Close Friends With Our Own Ladybug?

[VIDEO]

Lila Rossi, Collège Françoise Dupont’s newest addition, is making quite an impression on her new classmates. A transfer student from Italy, Rossi arrived to our humble educational facility with a rather interesting piece of news: She’s friends with Ladybug. Amazing, right?  

She was kind enough to share a few words with the Ladyblog, mentioning that our beloved masked heroine has saved her on multiple and has even spoken to her on numerous occasions outside mask. Check out the video and drop a line telling us what you think!

I wonder if she knows Chat Noir too...maybe I’ll ask her later. 

But for now, this is Alya, signing off!

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Comments:

No comments have been posted.

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Marinette Dupain-Cheng would like to think of herself as a very patient girl. Probably a little too patient, given the fact that she had allowed Chloe Bourgeois to flounce around the classroom, running her big mouth and making her fellow classmates feel terrible enough for freaking Hawk Moth to exploit their vulnerabilities. However, for all of Marinette’s self-discipline, there were a grand total of three things that the young girl absolutely could not tolerate in any way, shape, or form.

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Marinette’s Journal Entry Date: 2016-04-16

FILE UNDER: THINGS I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT TOLERATE

I shouldn’t really be venting in my journal since Chloe and Sabrina tried to steal it last September, but whatever, I’m going to do it. (Hopefully it won’t stress Tikki out. Should I keep a separate journal for those events? Maybe...or should I just use codenames? Decisions, decisions...)

Anyway, in this world, there are some things that I can’t deal with. As in, I’m not going to exert energy trying to be compassionate or Hufflepuff-ish about.

1.) Girls who attempt to canoodle with the Love of My Life.

2.) L I A R S. 

3.) Thieves 

Unfortunately, the Liar is all of the above (btw: decided on codenames.) Not too sure what to do about it since it’s kind of dangerous for her to be offering false information liberally...and I can’t really ask Lady Wifi for help...otherwise, she’ll suspect me.

Hm. Updates to come.

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“Marinette, you coming?” 

Marinette snapped her journal shut and stuffed it into her backpack. If she wanted to expose Lila, she had to come up with an excuse and fast. As luck would have it, she had remembered that her mother requested she come to the house around lunch time, as her Uncle Cheng was stopping by for a brief visit and would be gone by the time school dismissed her.

She offered Alya an apologetic smile, “Sorry, Alya. Maman wants me to stop by the house to say hi to my uncle before he goes home.”

“No worries,” Alya shrugged, “I have some major analytics to be checking out with that last interview with Lila.” Marinette almost rolled her eyes at the dreamy sigh that escaped Alya’s lips. 

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a little crush on the girl,” Marinette commented, a dark brow raised at her best friend. 

Alya scoffed, tucking her cell into her pocket, “Oh God, don’t let Nino hear you say that. We’re supposed to go out to the zoo this weekend to see the panther,” she said, “And besides, he seems pretty taken with Lila too since she apparently knows Steven Spielberg and all these other Hollywood hotshots.” 

God, Marinette shook her head. 

Was it just her or was everyone in this school so incredibly gullible? A little voice in the back of Marinette’s head--a voice that almost suspiciously sounded like Tikki--reminded her that she would probably have believed Lila’s lies had she not been a liar, a thief, and a danger to the Love of Marinette’s Life, Adrien.

Speaking of which.

“Right,” Marinette said, shoving her arms through the loops of her backpack, “Well, I gotta book. Have fun measuring your Twitter analytics, or whatever...”

Alya laughed, “Will do. Oh, grab me pain au chocolat on your way back?”

“Alrighty, I’ll be back in an hour!” 

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Alya C. @theladyblogger  A new hero is on the scene and her name is #VOLPINA! Thoughts?

Simply the Best and 21 others liked your Tweet Nadia Chamack and 11 others Retweeted your Tweet

Chloe Bourgeois in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger Ladybug’s still better than she is.

Bitter Harpy in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger do we really need three heroes? 

Ladybug Trash in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger She’s awesome!! I hope her and LB get to work together more often.

Alya C. @theladyblogger Okay, scratch that, #AKUMAALERT.  [LINK FOR VIDEO STREAM]

Ladybugging TF OUT and 97 others liked your Tweet Nadia Chamack and 104 others Retweeted your Tweet

Chloe Bourgeois in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger Told ya so.

Chronogirl mentioned you in a Tweet @queenbee @theladyblogger shaddup chloe

Alya C. @theladyblogger #BREAKING #AKUMA ALERT: #VOLPINA has taken a hostage

Alya C. in reply to Alya C. #BREAKING #AKUMA ALERT: Adrien Agreste, son of fashion designer @GABRIEL, reported as #Volpina’s hostage

Alya C. in reply to Alya C. #BREAKING #AKUMA ALERT: #Volpina has Agreste hanging from the Eiffel Tower

Alya C. @theladyblogger #AKUMA ALERT: HERE’S THE LIVESTREAM LINK

Petit Papillon and 246 others liked your Tweet You’ve Got to be Kitten Me and 355 others Retweeted your Tweet

N I N O in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger WHERE ARE YOU IS ADRIEN OKAY? 

N I N O in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger ALYA WHY AREN’T YOU PICKING UP YOUR PHONE?

N I N O in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger ALYAAAAAAA

N I N O in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger ALYA. 

N I N O in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger THAT’S IT. I’M COMING OVER.

N I N O in reply to Alya C. @theladyblogger AKUMAS SERIOUSLY SUCK. HANG ON, ADRIEN.

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Chloe Bourgeois @queenbee 687 Followers//996 Following

Chloe Bourgeois @queenbee @adrienagreste ADRIKINS, ARE YOU OKAY??? DON’T BE SCARED, #LADYBUG WILL COME FOR YOU. 

Chloe Bourgeois @queenbee #Volpina’s the worst(tm)

mad max and 12 others liked your Tweet Sabrina Retweeted your Tweet

Sabrina in reply to Chloe Bourgeois  @queenbee Chloe? Should we go to the Eiffel Tower to wait for Adrien?

Chloe Bourgeois in reply to Sabrina @pastelprincess you do it! i forgot i had a hair appointment. tell adrikins to call me when ladybug saves him. 

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Alya C. @theladyblogger #BREAKING #AKUMA ALERT: #Volpina has been purified and Adrien Agreste has been rescued by #Ladybug and #ChatNoir

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The Ladyblog Posted: 2016-04-16

Subject: Saving a Damoiseau in Distress and Outfoxing Foxes

[VIDEO]

Couldn’t snag an interview with the Lady or Alley cat, but here’s some excellent footage from today’s maelstrom. Today’s victim: LB’s “friend” in question, Lila Rossi, who was akumatized into Volpina, a formidable opponent whose abilities are dependent on illusion and deception.

Where does teen model Adrien Agreste fall into all of this? Nobody knows! Yet. 

Luckily, your girl Alya has all the hookups in terms of info. (AKA, I’ll just ask Adrien when I see him in class LOL.) 

As usual, leave all your love (or your conspiracy theories) in the comments below.

This is Alya, signing off!

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Comments:

Response to Saving a Damoiseau in Distress and Outfoxing Foxes Posted: 2016-04-16 Subject: Love...triangle...?????

CatBug: OK OK JUST LISTEN FOR A SECOND...what if...WHAT IF!!!! There was a love triangle between LB, Volpina, and Adrien Agreste????? Judging by the video footage you took, I’d say that LB is digging some Adrien and so was Volpina, which is why she took him.

Remember Jackady? Look at the footage of LB and Adrien. They seem a little cozy, if you ask me :-) (That or I could be totally delusional.) 

ALSO Volpina used him as leverage against LB so she’d give up her Miraculous WHICH SHE ALMOST DID!!! aksljf;asldfjkas;lj.  

Response to Love...triangle...????? Posted: 2016-04-16 Subject: Bruh...

geek-baits: I’m down with that LOL. Poor Chat...

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Response to Love...triangle...????? Posted: 2016-04-16 Subject: (no subject)

chatblanc: You’re looking into it too much. Why would Ladybug concern herself with an ordinary citizen? The only way that’d make sense is if she knew him irl..............

...wait a minute.

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Response to (no subject) Posted: 2016-04-16 Subject: Duly noted The Ladyblog: WAIT A MINUTE! I think we got ourselves a lead here :D 

--

Marinette froze upon reading Alya’s most recent reply to the damning conspirator at the bottom of the page. There was no way she’d believe a stranger on the internet, right?

Okay, yeah, no. This was Alya. She was going to search every lead she could get her hands on. And there was no way that Marinette’d be able to act normally around Adrien, regardless if she was in or out of costume. Luckily, her handsome classmate had always seemed to disappear at the sight of an akuma, but still.

The video now being circulated on the internet was enough to set her best friend on her trail. Marinette could see it now: a full-page spread dedicated to Ladybug’s unmasking, which would inevitably endanger herself, her family, and her friends, but she couldn’t exactly discourage Alya from snooping without coming under investigation herself.

Marinette threw herself back in her chair with a sigh, whirling away from her computer to face her wall, covered in photographs of Adrien. 

Could she act like her heart wasn’t running a marathon when he was close to her while she was Ladybug? No, she could hardly think straight around him when they were in class together.

Could she tell Alya to back off? No, because that would definitely encourage her friend to dig deeper. 

Marinette groaned.

“Why don’t you try to talk to her?” Tikki helpfully suggested. Marinette shook her head, her dark pigtails flying. 

“That’ll make it worse, I’m sure,” Marinette replied, “The only way Alya’d ignore this tip--” this very accurate tip that would absolutely ruin her, “--would be for someone to disprove it, with evidence. And the only way for me to do it without raising suspicion would be...”

Marinette stopped as a lightbulb went off in her head.

Of course, Marinette thought to herself, the idea washing over her like fresh air, why hadn’t I thought of this before? 

Marinette swiveled back to her computer, fingers flying furiously on the keyboard. 

“What are you doing, Marinette?” Tikki asked.

“Ladybug’s gonna be doing some damage control. Tikki! Spots on!”

--

Ladybug Unknown, Paris, France. 

Join date: 2016-04-16

Ladybug’s Official blog. 

--

Ladybug Posted: 2016-04-16

Subject: Obligatory ‘hey-how���s-it-going’ Post

[PHOTO]

Hey, it’s Ladybug. Blogging seemed to look like fun, so I figured I’d hang around you all for a bit. 

xo,

Ladybug

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No comments have been posted.

[lesbianathene]

Saltlock: The List

i’ve spent the last 3 days compiling all the plotholes i could fine in series 4. tell me if i missed any.

There are times where a camera is in shot, not for any reason, there’s just a camera there.

Theres also a painting that has a ever-changing backlight for no specific reason which did not happen or appear over the course of the previous 3 series’.

If you pause at specific moments within the last episode you can see the green screens and the stunt mats.

John’s blog is now a photo?

John blames Sherlock for Mary’s death for no reason other than “You made a vow”. Mary was an ex-assassin and it was the plot point of the whole episode that someone wanted her dead. She dies and suddenly it’s Sherlock’s fault that she did?

There’s a random clown in episode 3?!

Episode 3 also known as Saw: The Sherlock Special with the random murder island controlled by Sherlock’s psychopathic sister who apparently exists even though Sherlock had written her out of his memories completely - was she just never spoken of again? How the fuck did Sherlock not know she existed.

Apparently Sherlock can’t understand that glass reflects.

Mycroft (head of secret service government things and done some pretty nasty shit) can solve cases quicker than Sherlock is apparently squeamish?

Its an umbrella that is also a sword AND a gun!

Mary sending DVDs of herself after her death at ‘convenient’ points with no explanation as to why she did it??

Someone mailing them for her??

Moriarty making clips of himself saying random shit that would all fit into this Saw Island plan that Sherlock’s sister has that wouldn’t take place for years?

Sherlock rewrote his memories of his childhood best friend as a dog for no reason… also this child had a dog bowl with his name on

No one could figure out that ‘Drowned Redbeard’ died in the well? Did no one check the well?? WHERE WERE HIS PARENTS???

‘Who you are doesn’t matter’

Multiple gay rape jokes

Moriarty playing the song ‘I want to break free’ a song about coming out coupled with the gay rape joke

The humiliation of Molly Hooper, just because she loves Sherlock

A bomb goes off in 221B which erupts in a (shitty) fireball and yet all the decor and the furniture are fine

Bombs apparently don’t go through floors either

The singing drone that appears from nowhere

John and Sherlock can jump out of a two storey window onto pavement and be fine

How did they get from Baker Street to a boat in the middle of the ocean?

How did they get from the murder island to the ancestral Holmes home?

John does nothing when Sherlock points a gun at himself

John mercilessly beating up Sherlock when it’s been pointed out that his organs are failing

The Six Thatchers story appears twice

Scenes get repeated with word and voice changes with no explanation

Mary can jump in front of Sherlock faster than a bullet from a gun

She gets shot in the heart and apparently can still talk for 15 minutes

John just forgetting about the fact that he has a 6 month old child

GIVE YOUR 6 MONTH OLD CHILD A CALL TO SAY GOODBYE I’M SURE SHE’LL PICK UP

Sherlocks sister having 3 different disguises and breaking out of prison for????

John is chained by his feet to the bottom of a well but apparently can get out once a rope has been dropped down

“Sherlock you were always the grown-up” SINCE WHEN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE HAS CALLED HIM A CHILD WHAT????

Freeze-frame ending

26 pages of dialogue that don’t exist

The last episode being leaked 3 times before it aired with no attempt to cover it up

Mary the assassin who is ‘evil’ according to the writers and the actress is now a lovely housewife who is just happy to be out of the way?

Sherlocks sister who just murdered innocent people for fun, nearly made you shoot you brother or your best friend, drowned your childhood best friend in a well, wants you dead, and spent the entire episode putting you through psychological torture can be forgiven with a hug in the end because that’s all the emotionless bitch wanted

There’s a memory drug that short-circuits your brain that is mentioned over and over again for no reason?

Why did Sherlock have trauma flashbacks associated with deep water when they never figured out that Victor was drowned in a well?

“What’s the worst thing you can do, to your very best friends? Tell them your darkest secret. Because if you tell them and they decide they’d rather not know, you can’t take it back, you can’t unsay it. Once you open your heart, you can’t close it again” - WHY WOULD YOU INCLUDE THIS LINE WITHOUT SHOWING SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT?

What was on the note that John gave Sherlock after he told him to leave and don’t come back?

What is Sherlock’s reoccurring dream that they kept mentioning?

The entire “romantic love would complete you” scene between John and Sherlock

Sherlock’s secret sister apparently can take over an entire psychiatric prison through talking?

“Culverton gave me Faith’s original note. A mutual friend put us in touch.” - WHO?! And WHY?!

Where tf did Mycroft go after they were all tranqed?

Who got the power and wifi running in the burned out ruins of the Holmes House?

John still apparently loves his dead wife so much even though he cheated on her every single time she left the room

“It’s not like the movies, there isn’t a big squirt of blood and you go flying backwards” - Molly on getting shot S03E03, then when Mary dies in S04E01 she dies in exactly that way

Mycroft’s in hospital, but then he’s not, but then he is, but then he’s not, but then he is.

Why did Sherlock go to the therapist?

Little girl starts fire in her bedroom, burns down house, but escapes with no physical burns or scars?

Does Lestrade work for every police force in Britain?

What was the point of the busts specifically being of Thatcher? There's nothing of importance regarding it other than she's a prominent British figure

Sherlock ignoring 'Vatican Cameos' (the codeword for danger)

"Play you" and he then goes on to play Irene's composition?

Molly talking to her lock screen

Everyone's “asleep” on this plane apart from this one little girl? Including the pilots?? And somehow the plane isn't crashing???

The 'doctoring' footage talk right at the beginning

Every choice you’ve ever made, every path you’ve ever taken, the man you are today, is your memory of your abuser

The appointment in Samarra bullshit

What’s with all the ‘hacking’ effects over BBC’s channel and twitter?

How did John get from being tranqed to Sherlock to then Mycroft’s house?

Who called the police at the end?

Eurus left murder island and then chose to go back?

Sherlock wasn’t wearing his coat when he’s tranqed, yet is suddenly wearing his coat when he awakes

How did Molly not hear Eurus when she was on the phone to Sherlock?

Lady Smallwood’s name changing every five minutes

John didn’t recognise a damn grenade

Why did everyone think that John’s blog was written by Sherlock?

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 30.10.20 lb

lol ishani is suchhhhhhhhh a messy bitch. not even pretending to look less than outright gleeful.

le, iska rona shuru. god sis, you knowwwwwww these bitches have it out for you, then why do you give them the satisfaction of seeing this reaction???

yeh aadmi hai ya bhagwaan? koi bhi jagaah koi bhi time marzi se prakat ho jaata hai.

THAT FUCKING STUPIDASS SCARF IS RUINING THE WHOLEEEEEE LOOOK. GOD WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO HIM?????????

TUMNE JITNE TELLYWOOD FANS KO KHOOOON KE AANSOON RULAAYE HAINNNNA SHIRALI, BHAGWAN TUMHE IN PAAPON KE LIYE KABHI NAHI MAAF KAREGA!!!!!!!!!!

also, just noticed the set and production design credits and finally have names to put on all the hate mail i wanna send.

naaaah jk, i think it's really nice that they got employment in this pandemic, even with their OBVIOUS lack of taste. so much so, that it seems to be a medical condition! 

anyway, he said he got this sargi for ishani on behalf of angre, but since she's got hers anyway, this one can be given to riddhima. noice. this fucker be worming his way into my heart with shit like this.

inka phir se popat bann gaya.

mummy biting out and giving the worst blessing of all, “sadaa suhaagan raho.” which is just an elaborate way of saying "hope you die before your husband does, because life without a man is worse than death itself!!!!!!"

“thank you mummyji. aapne ~~sachchi neeyat~~~ se sargi taiyyar kii thi toh dekhiye, mere haath khaali nahi hain!”

lmao nice. where was this riddhima allllll along?????? i've been waitinggggg for this snarky bitchhhhh who doesn't take shit!!!!!

le, aadarsh bahu mode is back on. sab ke liye koi paath ka intezaam kiya. chanchal chachi was right, she's suchhhhh a annoying suck-up to dadi, honestly.

husband is like here, no one's looking; sneak some almonds, come on. yes, i approve. this the kinda man* you want ladies. one who's willing to have a few hours taken off his lifespan so you don't get hangry.

(*T&C strictly apply: only in this feeding waala criteria wrt this dude. baaki sab toh disaster hi disaster hai iss mein.)

“kaisi baat kar rahe ho??? vrat sachchi nishtha se kii jati hai. koi nahi dekh raha par bhagwaan dekh rahe hain!”

lmao, the most appropriate response. 

wait you guys genuinely need a gif of this moment, coz it’s priceless:

i can't believe they don't let this dude move his face in this show when he is the MOST ENTERTAINING when he doessssss.

he's like dude i'll adjust with the 2 hours less in my life, but dharampatni is i won’t let you escape a minute of suffering existence in this flesh prison we’re all trapped in, so help me god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who the fuckkkkkkkkk is this????? and you know you didn't need a needle on the syringe for this whole thing, don't you???

vansh's "baaz ki nazar" toh i've long given up on, but riddhima's peripheral vision also seems to be completely shit if she didn't notice a wholeass person wrapped in all black skulking around directly in her eyeline, not 10 feet away.

lmaooooooo dadi is like tf you doing here, and the hasty retreat he beat. scaryass men soft for their sweet old grandmas is a trend i really do love in tellywood.

oh i like ishani's outfit.

blah blah blah KC gyaan idgaf.

riddhima has lit diya and instant cough attack from the smoke.

it's her. she's the one who did this. looks like she's okay with bhai dying a few days earlier than fated, as long as it means she knocks riddhima down a few pegs.

mummy rubbing it in saying dekho yeh akhand paath hai, beech mein rukna nahi chahiye, apshagun hota hai. godddddddddddddd.

I HONESTLY CANNOT WATCH HER COUGH AND CHOKE THROUGH THIS THE SHEER RIDICULOUSNESS OF THIS IS FUCKING KILLING MEEEEEEEEE

yeh lo ji, parmeshwar prakat ho gaye to save the day and read the paath himself.

all dudes in the world should be in whatever business this guy and angre are in. ki biwi mil gayi toh it manages itself while he devotes himself to her.

lmao the sheer earnestness with which he's narrating the KC paath. both wholesome and fucking hilarious. looks like those primary school kids at their first public speaking contest.

i am ishani. god, why won't this scene just endddddddd already, i'm dying of cringe.

whoooooooooooops. bhai is pointedly asking ki how riddhima's throat got messed up when she was fine like 3 min ago.

behen is giving earnesttttttt excuses and he's really "sure jan"-ing her.

dadi's all no matter what issues crop up in these two's lives, i'm sure they'll win over it with their lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrve. yeah, it looks that way rn, but i wouldn't be quite so optimistic yet, dadi.

literally no one is surprised by this revelation.

oh god, she has something more planned. man who are these ppl with so much energy in their lives WHILE PREGNANT, to do such scheming and plotting??????? just my period cramps have me taking 2 hours off work to curl up on my heat pad and cry about ouchieeeeeee.

great. ragini ko ab daure pad rahein hain.

and poor angre is saddled with getting her treatment. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THESE TROUBLESOME WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE VANSH?!?!?! EK ADIYAL BEHEN ISKE SAR PE BAANDH DI HAI WOH KAAFI NAHI THA, KI AB INVALID EX KO BHI ISKE HI HAATH MEIN THAMAA DIYA. i know you got your hands full with that disaster wife of yours, but come on man.

oh god is he gonna blow up at her again for eavesdropping!?!!?!?!?

thank the lord above, she had airpods in. (also lmao, ofc she's literally the airpods meme.)

isn't HE supposed to give HER a gift today???

i liked his other watch better. but this watch is supposedly riddhima “ke dil ki dhadkano se judi hai” so........ i'm no expert in cutting edge watch technology, so sure. sounds like something that would be available for the wives of billionaire gangster’s wives to buy.

oh man she got herself a matching one. which ofc is “tumhare dil ki dhadkano se judi hai.” lord, she CHEESY CHEESYYYYYYYYYYYY. and i'm mildly lactose intolerant, so 🤢🤢🤢

this dude is not though. he falling for this hard and fast. which is....... unexpected. nice, but also suspicious.

“yeh ghadiyaan chahe rahein naa rahein riddhima, lekin tum mere dil mein hamesha rahogi.”

that's sweet. and i'd believe and squee over it if this was any other show. i would. but in this show, literally everyone other than dadi/siya is out to fuck each other over and i don't trust a single goddamn word out their hissy snake mouths.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand ofc he's vrat-ing for her too. BECAUSE THIS IS A FEMINIST SHOW WITH THIS VERY FEMINIST HERO OK?!!!!!!?!?!!!!?!? THIS ONE EPISODE ABSOLVES ALLLLLLLLLLLL THE OTHER 98 EPISODES FILLED WITH HOT FLAMING TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!

“apni umar badhaake kya karoonga main, agar tum saath nahi ho. main chahta hoon ki tum meri zindagi ki aakhri saans tak mere saath raho.”

again, very very sweet and all, esp. with these soft melty eyes; but it's this show. and we saw the upcoming promo. sooooooooo, kill bill sirens in my head, i'm afraid.

both mann hi mann mein deciding to tell each other the truth about their backstories after the vrat. which should work out splendidlyyyyyyy.

lo ji dream sequence shuru. voot blocked the music but colors put up the scene with bol na halke halke on instaTV so i watched it there.

yesssssssssss you messy trainwrecks. get it onnnnnnnnnn.

this is literally alllll i am watching this show for. the moment y'all bang in canon, i'm outttttttttttt. it's always the best time to quit a tellywood show. always. take this protip from wise, old TT. quit the show the episode the lead couples fuck. just trust me on this.

idk WHOSE dream sequence this is, but lmao it's got the vibes of a not-that-great wedding "promo" thing ppl have got going on these days. which one of y'all is binging these on youtube and thus has their subconscious filled with it/??? it's gotta be riddhima, but it would be absolutely fucking hilariousssssss if it was in fact, vansh.

yup. it was her dumb ass. i bet she had the exact video in mind for kabir and just cut-copy-pasted vansh's face in there from the last week onwards.

oh chachi's back from maayka for vrat kholing.

mans literally do be looking like the chand today. because they eased up on his yellow foundation, thank god.

poor ishani. god, this is why we need feminism. so our sisters don't get pushed into shit like this against their willllllllllllllllll.

dadi and siya shipping riansh to the point of making ppl uncomfortable. what next, you gonna be writing mature fanfic about them on IF????? BACK THE FUCK OFF, YOU WEIRDOS.

“humaare plans kamyaab hote toh vansh iss waqt riddhima ko zeher ki pyaali pilaa raha hota. hmph.”

lmaoooooooooooooooo mummy is an eternalllllllll mood.

this one is getting overly emotional about her first completed karwachauth vrat. eat a snickers, bitch.

dadi overpromising and saying shit like evennnnnnnnn god himself can't shake your love for each other, tumhari prem kahaani billlkulllll pooori hogi and what not. oh dadi, did YOU not see the promo?????

this one got the footage she needed and has duly handed it over to bhai. both of vansh's sisters have the trait for going straightttttt to him with their sordid discoveries, albeit for completely polar reasons.

lmaoooooo the way she peaced out.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he's started growling about how all this KC naatak was fake and and vowing revenge and games for her dhokaaaaaaaaaa. i hate to say it but............ i told you so.

also abbe oh gobar ganesh. itna CCTV footage mila hai kahin se, toh baaki ka bhi toh dhoond, where you see how she got into the bloody dickey?!?!???! nahi, 2 out-of-context second hi dekh ke paagal saand ki taraah bekaabu ho jaana hai. shit for brains, literally everyone in this show has.

anyway, if i was vansh’s murti maker, i’d be expecting a call righhhhhht about now. riddhima yahaan rahe na rahe, uski murti zaroor rahegi, which vansh and his next paramour will demolish together as a bonding/foreplay exercise.​