#you cannot out girlboss a girlboss and therefore they are both the most girlboss

[andi-o-geyser]

reminder: vote for the character who is the most girlboss, not who your favorite is (unless they are one in the same)

[useless-englandfacts]

I don’t know if you’ll be able to help out, but I support BLM and want to learn more about black people in the UK but most of the stuff out there is about America. Do you have any recommendations about British black people? Books or documentaries or resources?

I'd be happy to help out! I agree the US tends to dominate conversations about race, but happily there are quite a few British books out there too! Disclaimer that these are just off the top of my head so if anyone wants to add more then please go ahead!

Black and British: A Forgotten History by David Olusoga! He's a prominent Black historian and has also done multiple documentaries which aim to expand traditional narratives of British history to include people of colour who are so often written out. You can find a full list on his Wikipedia page of course, though I'm unsure as to how many are on iPlayer and such! There's a child-friendly version of Black and British here too for any parents/teachers who are interested!

Brit(ish) by Afua Hirsch is a more autobiographical book about Hirsch's experiences growing up as a mixed race woman in Britain. Hirsch attended Oxford University and works at the BBC, so it’s offers a good insight into what it's like for POC to exist in spaces that have traditionally been saved for rich white people. She's a journalist too so there are various articles of hers floating about covering a range of issues, some of which relate to race. She's also done a few documentaries that are worth checking out, including The Battle for Britain's Heroes which questions whether some of our 'heroes' (e.g. Churchill, Nelson) should really be honoured, and (not British but) African Renaissance which looks at Black culture in Ethiopia, Senegal and Kenya - maybe the first time I've seen African culture shown on its own terms.

Natives: Race and Class in the Ruins of Empire by Akala is another half autobiographical work, covering stuff like the far right in Britain, policing and education. It does a great job of cutting through the squeamishness I think Brits often have when talking about race.

Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge has become a sort of classic of its genre but I think it's totally worthy of all the praise it's received! It looks at how lots of white people in Britain (and more generally) equate racism with full-on hate crimes, meaning they don't consider themselves racist despite regularly committing micro-aggressions/other unintentional acts. Also an absolutely stellar insight into intersectionality throughout the book! Cannot recommend enough!

Feminism, Interrupted: Disrupting Power by Lola Olufemi is a must-read for feminists! It discusses modern-day feminism and how it needs to remove itself from that girlboss capitalist yuckiness, and should instead focus on marginalised issues within feminism such as transmisogyny, sex work, and - of course - racism. Has been praised by Angela Davis so that's a huge plus!

The Good Immigrant edited by Nikesh Shukla is a collection of essays by POC from across Britain sharing experiences of racism and immigration, and what it feels like to be constantly regarded as an 'other' or as an ambassador for your race.

Literally anything by Paul Gilroy! His work is slightly older and some of it is very ~academic~ but I don't want to suggest that it's therefore totally inaccessible. He talks a lot more about British national identity and our role in the world and how that has affected views on race and immigration. He's written lots (I recommend Googling him and having a better look yourself!) but There Ain't No Black in the Union Jack and After Empire: Melancholia or Convivial Culture are both fab.

If you're feeling brave then you could look at anything by Marxist darling Stuart Hall? Some of his writing is very difficult to penetrate imo, but it's worth it if you can. He's written a lot so I would recommend browsing his Wikipedia page first and seeing if there's anything that grabs you. Even if you don't feel up to reading his stuff cover to cover, he's still someone who every antiracist in Britain should know!

Honourary mention to Thinking Black: Britain, 1964-1985 by Rob Waters just because he taught me at university hehe! Obviously more of an academic history book, but again pretty accessible and a good insight into more radical Black politics in Britain in the era.

I haven't read it myself as I believe it's only just come out but David Harewood has a book called Maybe I Don't Belong Here: A Memoir of Race, Identity, Breakdown and Recovery which looks worth checking out! Foreword by our beloved David Olusoga too!

If you're still looking for more then a good tip with any of the academic books listed here is that you can browse the footnotes and/or bibliography to find further reading there!

If you're looking for documentaries then on the BBC you can browse for Black History Month stuff, (fictional) shows that centre Black British characters and narratives, and documentaries that do the same. There has been quite a lot done in the past year about all sorts of stuff - from Black people in the NHS, what it's like being Black in the church, more specific stuff on Stephen Lawrence, Windrush, the Newcross Fire, and even specials on Black celebrities such as Lenny Henry. There's also a Black and Proud section on Channel 4's website that does something similar (side note: cannot believe they've put Hollyoaks on there that's so funny).

I don't read much fiction myself, but it is important not just to see Black Britons as victims of racism, but also as… you know… complicated and fully rounded human beings who are able to experience the full spectrum of human emotion like everyone else. Like black people just… existing. Looking to others who do read fiction to help flesh out this section in particular but a couple again off the top of my head:

Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Evaristo

Love in Colour by Bolu Babalola (I know this isn’t about Britain per se, but she's a Black British writer so I think it counts).

This is probably more than you asked for and you can likely tell that my academic background is in history so it is skewed towards that but I hope this helps! And again, if anyone wants to add anything then feel free!

- Dominique

[sixtymillionoverdueideas]

Walking-By Original Konoha 13/Sand Siblings Heights (!!)

Shino Aburame: 6′2″. Listen,, Shino is Tol and unlike Shikamaru he doesn’t slouch. He’s Tol and a Protector and it’s Good. Generally speaking though he doesn’t utilize his full height - though he doesn’t slouch he does sort of stand slightly off to shave off an inch or few.  Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze-Hyuuga: 5′11″. He’s Just Like That Now. He’s not short here though short gremlin king Naruto is of course also wonderful. Stronk built Naruto who can lift up the likes of his children or the others on one arm, y’know, like they’re swinging off of it. Sasuke Uchiha: 5′8″. Yes he’s one of the “short guys” of the group despite not being especially short -- yes he gets (lightly) teased and gently roasted over this. Yes Naruto ruffles his hair and Kiba sometimes princess-carries him. Hinata Hyuuga-Uzumaki-Namikaze: 5′8″. She’s a Tol One - no Short Queen Hinata for us today, only Tol Queen Hinata. She’ll stare you straight in the eye and take none of yours. Rock Lee: 5′11″. Well... Shikamaru Nara: 6′0″. Alright so Shikamaru is tallish too. Of course he doesn’t generally stand up straight when he’s casually with friends. He actively tries to get people to forget he’s Tol,, shaped. Neji Hyuuga: 5′10″. Because a Neji shorter than Naruto hits fuNNE for us. Sakura Lee: 5′8″. Well? She’ll yank down on Lee’s shirt to kiss him and she can and has done push-ups with Sai sitting all nice on her back, reading. Stronk Buff Queen. Sakura is Stronk. Sai Lee: 5′7″. Because Sai is darling but he’s not Tol Material atm, and also it’s a little neat to think of him being not taller than Sakura. Ino Yamanaka: 5′10″. Yes, we’d like a Tol Blonde Queen for today, thanks. Also of course she wears heels, she’s exactly that kind of “because I can“ and “you dare dictate what I can and cannot do? Fool“ and “gaslight gatekeep girlboss girl”. She did actually do training/undergo a loose apprenticeship under Ibiki Morino in T&I, and boy howdy you do not want to get on her less than happy side because she will salt your fields and hit you where it hurts. Omoi Yamanaka: 5′8″. Yes Canonically he’s a little more 5′9″ (175 cm) but does it matter? Not going to quibble and dash over more precise measurements, yeah. Tenten: 5′9″. It fits. Gaara: 5′5″. Listen, Gaara is still one of the most intimidating shinobi in the Peace Generation, setting aside his height, age, and general rank as the Kazekage. Though yes, he did work very hard and yes much of his “Demon” reputation/background has been eased away it’s not, y’know, Gone because this isn’t just going to disappear. Gaara is still feared in more distant places for being able to crush your hands, head, he can drown you in sand on dry land and has only become more and more powerful and inpregnable in his years. Temari: 5′9″. Tol Temari very Good. Kankurou: 5′8″. Of course. Chouji Akimichi: 5′11″.  ‘Cause, y’know, it just wasn’t feasible to have Chouji be a n y shorter than, say, Ino. It’s all very Good and Valid to have him be shorter than a lot of people in this group, but hey -- Akimichi were always going to be Giants.  Kiba Inuzuka: 5′9″. Kiba just out here doin’ the Good Life, right, he’s Out There with His Dog Akamaru and Having The Time Of His Life

I’m sorry I don’t make the rules, the Walking-By bunch are just a group of giants,, Both metaphorical and literally and they’re literally looked up to - though by nature shinobi tend to be “very fit looking” and therefore it’s not so unusual, except for some of the older jonin to casually throw jokes around like “what was in the water those days? the ninja-equivalent of steroids?” ...alright so maybe western/eastern culture boundaries make this a little more weird but I contend that we could both factor in/out A) Chakra, which... Could be Doing Things we dunno!! to Elemental-Nation physiology. And B) ...we’re not quite on the level of tying Walking-By, at least in this case, to actual Historical-Japanese RW -- are they Asian-looking or warpedly anime-looking in “The Real World”? (This... we have to consider for one of the Side Branches to Walking-By, “The Residents of 31-A”). Therefore Yes, we can have many Tol Shinobi (though TBF you have to adjust for Villages. We’re currently considering Kumo and Konoha to have the tallest average.)

[hongjoongsgoat]

Of course! I realised I started responding to @wooyoungisbaby ‘s tags but then I left it rotting in my drafts so I’m killing two birds with one stone now.

To begin with defining babygirl and girlboss, I diverged a little bit from the vague yet common understanding the difference is mostly vibes. Girlbosses being independent while babygirls are more precious. However for this meme I needed polarising definitions thus avoiding labelling people as both girlbosses and babygirls, for example arguably Wooyoung is both these things based on vibes alone. The way I’m polarising these definitions is that a girlboss gets what they want through their own hard work while a babygirl obtains it through getting others to put in the work. (See: the girlboss Hongjoong lowkey running Hanteo Music Awards, the babygirl Yeosang waiting for the rest of Ateez to come and pick him up to stop him getting soaked by a wave instead of getting out the way himself (I also cannot find the fucking clip so if you know what I mean please send it my way 😭))

This leads to a dual identity of what people are and what they present as. For example you can have someone who presents as a girlboss but actually is a babygirl. Here’s a table of how I believe Ateez falls into this:

Now that I have further elaborated on some concepts I will address criticisms of my original post. Beginning with Yunho, he definitely presents as babygirl (see: him dancing Maniac by Viviz) but at the end of the day he is an eldest sibling who doesn’t ask for much and sometimes has to parent his younger siblings, therefore he’s leaning more girlboss than babygirl.

As for San and Seonghwa, you may notice that the four main duos of Ateez are diagonal to one another and I did not realise at first either. I now realise this is because these four traits are emphasised by the contrast of the other person. For example with San and Wooyoung, Wooyoung far out-babygirls San and San far out-poor little meow meows Wooyoung. In terms of San this also remains true for Yeosang and Seonghwa, they both out-babygirl him which leads me to putting him firmly in girlboss, although perhaps he should be slightly more towards babygirl than I have originally placed him. Since I have found fault in my measuring methods I would happily accept evidence that would confirm him a babygirl.

This is the same reason why Mingi isn’t completely babygirl because Wooyoung and Yeosang are more so. In fact Yeosang is THE most babygirl member of Ateez as he has all seven men wrapped around his finger. However I cannot bring myself to move Wooyoung towards girlboss in the slightest.

As for Seonghwa I was mostly thinking of him in context to Hongjoong in which case he is far more the babygirl, (see: him wanting to do a different concept for the subunit song so HJ made the song for him, also him being slightly jealous of Yunho and Hongjoong’s matching rings so HJ got ones for all the members - basically what Hwa wants Hwa gets (unless it’s physical affection)). And of course Wooyoung and Yeosang both heavily out-babygirl SH leaving him to be higher up the scale but still on the side of babygirl. I will move him so he’s on the brink of girlboss but I firmly believe he is in fact a babygirl.

I hope this makes sense and please feel free to reach out with contradictory evidence. With that being said, I present my updated version:

This might be very controversial but I’m willing to elaborate if you so wish. This is the hill I’m willing to die on

[fairybinie]

describe your moots with one emoji and a sentence💘 ( ^▽^)σ)~O~)

NONNIE THIS IS SO LATE I WAS NOT IGNORING YOU i just wanted to do this when i had the energy </3 but here i go ;)

i tried not doing the emojis i have for their tags just so that it's different :D also this is in no order i'm just going down my following list lolz <3

@gyuuss - 🫂 i did the hug bc it reminds me of how we're partners in crime and we've always got each other's back, hugging ky is 100% on my bucket list <3

@bluhr - 🕊️ pretty sure i've said cia reminds me of a nature fairy one time i don't remember but she just reminds me of a dove spreading its wings to fly and it's like how she's spreading her wings to achieve all her goals, cia girlboss :') help did that even make sense i am not a poet

@yeoforce - 💐 as you all know i am a mika simp and these are flowers bc one time she bought me flowers :') and by bought i mean she sent this emoji saying she got me flowers and how we were going on a date help but i miss them very much and she'll always be my one and only <3

@envirae - 🦋 i also miss vira very much and butterfly just made sense to me bc idc what anybody says butterflies are hot JUST LIKE VEE my hottie !!

@moondust-zia - 🌙 okay i know i said i wouldn't do the emojis i have for their tags but i'm sorry zee zee will forever be my moon and i love looking at the moon since it comforts me and that's what she does and it's like the moon is always out even during the day, just like her :') and it makes me very excited knowing that the sun and the moon will be spending their life together soon <3 help this probably makes no sense out of context but it's okay we both know ;)

@iuwon - 👯‍♀️ this just makes sense, we both got this bunny thing plus it reminds me of our ******* thing (if anyone can decipher that look away) PLUS she is my sexy twinnie and we are together by the hip idc i miss her very much <3

@faetarou - 🎾 HELP IM SORRY FAEFI JUST REMINDS ME OF TENNIS NOW but yes she is my only child ever that i must protect even though she parents me most of the time which i shall choose to not talk about but i love how we're always there for each other :') the emoji has nothing to do with this faefi is just a tennis queen

@odxrilove - 🚔 this is only bc miss dubadu over here likes to push my limits therefore it makes me want to arrest her and put her behind bars so she can behave HELP KIDDING but dori makes me laugh a lot even though she interrupts me and sends weird memes ://///

@feyregels - ❄️ fey reminds me of winter plus i know she really likes it plus she's just so sweet and delicate like we must protect user feyregels and yeah she's so kind and caring <3

@iyeonjuni - 😠✊ this is only something that makes sense to us but yuh this do be cici's brand and it makes me laugh whenever she sends it but it also reminds me of how she's such a supportive friend and always has my back and is there for me through thick and thin and i just imagine her making that face when she hypes and helps me out :')

@junityy - 🤓 this emoji reminds me of how staller over here needs to learn how to spell IM KIDDING but yeah i immediately thought of this so ... take it for what you will ...

@wooyoung-a - 💌 this reminds me of how whenever sun is in my inbox it's like i'm receiving a love letter :') plus i love the soob content sun provides me with therefore i consider those to be my love letters <3

@luvshota - 😏 this is solely based on the pitbull jokes we have and it's just 😏😏 but yuh bff is very swaggy and cool and that's what this emoji is so true !!

@eternallyhyucks - 🥵 mita is just ... sexy tbh like HELP that's just the vibes i get when user eternallyhyucks is on my dash i'm like DAMN MITA HOTTIE so yeah ..

@luvrbin - 🕹️ HELP THIS IS ONLY BC OF THE FACT THAT JEL PLAYS EPISODE speaking of which cannot wait for playtime with jel and val i shall look forward to the memes they always make me giggle ;)

@ughopewrld - 🤡 LET ME EXPLAIN lola sent me joker and batman fan art the other day and ever since then i associated lola with the joker IM SORRY ITS JUST TOO FUNNY TO ME but also !! bc clowns are like funny right and lola always gives me a giggle when we interact <3

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

I'm okay with a bunch of disorganized rambling honestly 😂. But if I had to narrow it down then I guess I want to know about main and side characters and how they compare to the original?

I know that tumblr is the Prime Site for disorganized rambling, but I have perfectionism issues. But that is a great question, nonnie, and I will be happy to ramble is a slightly less disorganized fashion.

When reading Maximum Ride as a somewhat-formed adult who discovered they enjoy English classes about 3.5 years ago, I noticed that JP, when writing, doesn't understand consistency. At all. Which means, in many ways, I have a free sandbox to work with.

Spoilers for my rewrite WIP, because I strongly believe that if a story would no longer be good if one had spoilers, then it wasn’t a good story in the first place.

I'm trying to keep the backstories the same, plus or minus the scientific method and a few characters (RIP my OCs. I want to bring you back so bad but it wouldn't fit with the thematic narrative). I've mostly kept their (starting) abilities the same, too. Without further ado, I'm going to introduce some WorldBuilding. (If I'm good at nothing else, I'm good at world building)

First off. Logically.

How are they getting Cable?

How are they getting internet?

How are they getting money to eat and stuff?

JP's answer: handwave it off. Sometimes you need to ignore logistics for the sake of plot. This is an answer I'd accept from an author that I like, such as Julie Kagawa, that makes amazing worlds, characters, and narratives that I will happily handwave a few things that wouldn't work in the real world. James Patterson, on the other hand, did not make any of that; he made a cool concept, some good rough-draft characters, and nothing else, and therefore this is an unforgivable sin.

Wasp's answer: They are not getting any of that.

Introducing Cottagecore.

The house is off the grid. Solar Panels and a wind turbine create electricity. They have their own well. They grow their own food, raise livestock for eggs, milk, and wool, and trap fish for meat. They get money through dumpster diving and pawning. They still have to steal half of the necessities they can’t make themselves. They do have a TV, but it can access about three channels on a clear day. Internet is only a thing when they go to the public library.

Giving the flock a background that’s heavy in farming and livestock rearing shores up the plot holes mentioned above, but in my opinion, ties the flock more tightly to the environment, thus giving them something tangible to lose when they have to leave the E-shaped house. Because they’re not just leaving a house and a safety net— they’re leaving their entire way of life with no promise of getting it back. It also gives them a tangible connection to the earth in case I want to actually pursue the global warming themes.

Main Characters

Maximum “Max” Ride (Birthname: nonexistent)

First off, I'm letting her be Latina, James Patterson.

In the original, Max was very much the headstrong, independent, action girl. Leaning into Strong Female Character (TM), but overall she had a strong, solid foundation and enough character consistency through the first three books for me to not have to just make an entire new character. However, I felt that she was, in some ways, a bit too Action-Girl and Strong and Capable. Yes, Max is incredible and competent, but she’s also fourteen. She’s a child.

In the rewrite, Max’s character is still headstrong, independent, capable, and sometimes not the best at listening to others. All of that’s the same. But she’s that way not because of girlboss energy, but because there’s no one else to do it. She doesn’t want to lead, necessarily. She wants to get some rest and let someone else handle the problems life keeps throwing at her. But she knows if she did that, the responsibility of leader would fall to Fang and Iggy, and she can’t ask that of them. She doesn’t want to place that burden on anyone else (Look, there’s a reason I chose Ayano’s Theory of Happiness as one of her signifier songs, okay?). Her narrative is very much centered around burden, and also around loss. She lost her cultural heritage when she was taken away from her birth family, she lost her childhood to being a leader, she lost a good deal of her friends to the school (RIP my OCs), she lost Jeb, and then she lost her stability. And she’s going to lose a lot more before the end of the story. So a lot of her character arc deals with learning that there are some things she can’t fix, some things that can’t be recovered. She can’t get the E-shaped house back. She can’t get her Little Baby Angel back, even after they rescue her. She can’t get her friends back from the school. And instead of working so hard to recover those or find something to replace them, she has to learn to live with that sense of loss and move on with her life without feeling guilty for leaving things behind. And she has to learn that asking for help and sharing her burden is selfish or weak.

Other changes I made that don’t necessarily fit into her narrative arc, but you asked for rambling so rambling you shall get:

Max hallucinates, because mental illness is also a prominent theme in the rewrite. She doesn’t have a psychotic disorder, but her C-PTSD causes visual/audio hallucinations, especially when she’s stressed or sleep deprived. 

Max ends up having a Gender Discovery throughout the story and goes by He/She pronouns eventually. I don’t know when, but it will happen.

As far as genetic modifications/special quirks go, she can fly faster than the rest of the flock, but not 300 miles per hour. She averages about sixty mph with diving speeds of 240. She cannot breathe underwater or shut down her organs on command. She also has the Super Special Power to predict the weather, but that’s not because of genetics, it’s because she has chronic pain in her right arm that gets worse when weather fronts change.

Her favored weapon is her trusty rebar that she picked up from a condemned building. I think she’s going to name it eventually but I don’t know what yet.

Fang (Birth name: Gabriel Xue)

In canon, Fang is characterized in early books by being the “dark, strong, silent type”. He’s probably the most reserved member of the flock, to the point of falling into the Brooding Mystery Man trope in parts of the book. They care a lot, but they’re not the best at conveying that, especially with the younger members of the flock, and at times their high empathy leads them to making mistakes. Despite the high empathy, he’s often compared to a robot due to his lack of expression and external emotions.

Well, first change is that they’re not a man, so jot that down—

If Max’s narrative is centered around burden and loss, I would probably say that Fang’s is centered around humanity and moving on. None of the flock was treated as human while in the school, but Fang was more often than not treated like a wild animal due to “behavioral issues”, and therefore had and continues to have a difficult time considering themselves real and alive, let alone human. This manifests through a several different ways— where in canon Fang definitely had a ‘fight’ reaction, in the re-write they have a ‘freeze’ or ‘shut down’ instinct. They’re selectively mute for multiple reasons (including derealization, jaw pain, the fact that they didn’t learn how to speak until they were 10, and genuinely forgetting it’s something they’re capable of), a period of Cotard’s syndrome, and a tendancy towards self-loathing and self-sacrifice. In short, Fang is still halfway stuck in the mindset that most of the flock grew out of when they escaped in the school, and doesn’t know how to move past it.

Much of their character arc revolves around not necessarily seeing themselves as human, but learning to treat themselves as human even when they don’t feel like one (or even feel real), and knowing that just because they don’t feel human all the time doesn’t mean anyone else can treat them the same. They never start easily expressing their emotions, and they’re always going to be selectively mute, but they learn to accept that those aspects of themself aren’t character flaws or signs that they’re sub-human. 

Other additions to Fang’s character include:

They don’t get their hair cut in New York. It stays long through the entire series. They have the longest hair in the flock by the end of the series, and they can wear it in so many styles.

Fang uses they/it pronouns because themes of reclaiming the weapons used against it and, more importantly, Gender.

They’re actually really good at spelling compared to the rest of the flock, because they and Iggy communicate with Print-On-Palm when they’re nonverbal, and they’re nonverbal for some pretty long stretches of time. 

They and Max have... zero romantic tension. At all. There is none. The number of times Max calls them her sibling/little sibling in the first arc alone is staggering, and that will not change.

Igneous “Iggy” (Birthname: Jamsetta “Jamie” Griffiths)

I’ve talked about Iggy before. Canon doesn’t give us much to go off of, but from what’s shown, he’s smart, sarcastic, has sharper edges than Fang and Max, and also has a sizable ruthless streak. So that’s what I have to go off of.

The big difference between Iggy and Fang&Max is that Iggy has a much better memory of the School. Most of the flock have areas (months or years) that they don’t remember, or people that they’ve blocked from their mind, but Iggy... doesn’t. So he’s the one that remembers all of the other AVIAN test subjects that were old enough to have names and identities but died due to complications. Max might have the burden of leadership, but he has the burden of memory. And that has lead to both a massive fucking guilt complex, because why did he survive when they didn’t, and, as mentioned above, a ruthless streak that he doesn’t shy away from.

Which is to say, by the end of the story, Iggy has the highest kill count.

I love, love writing Iggy next to Max and Fang. I love writing Iggy next to Gazzy and Nudge. Because, I say this with all of the love of the world, but Iggy is not a good person. He is loyalty and love incarnate, and the world can burn down if he and his siblings are safe. Max and Fang will always try to save as many people as they can. They will wonder what’s wrong with them the first time they kill and don’t have a mental breakdown about it. They are good in a way that Iggy is not. He’s okay with killing Erasers. He’s okay with killing humans. He’s okay with killing people who might not necessarily deserve it, if they show themselves as a threat or are simply in the blast radius. He knows perfectly well that most of those Erasers he’s murdering are four and five and he is okay with that, because a lot of the AVIANs were that age when they died. (Yeah, in the rewrite it’s not Fang who has an issue with Ari; it’s Iggy who wants the 7-year-old wolf-boy dead.) 

And this is, of course, juxtaposed with Iggy being really, really good with Nudge and Gazzy (especially in the beginning). Because, again, he actually remembers being a child. He remembers a lot of kids that died and is therefore fiercely protective of the kids that didn’t, as well as fiercely protective of the innocence that he never got. So he’s the one that cooks their favorite foods when they’re having a bad day, always makes time when they want to talk about something, and convinces Max to let them go to that toy store in New York because, yeah, he Max and Fang aren’t kids. They never were. But Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel can be. (And if he has to be a murderer to preserve that, then he’s perfectly okay with that.)

He and Angel don’t get along very well, though. The telepath doesn’t like hanging out with the person with the most clear memories of the school.

Other additions:

Iggy is trans and says trans rights

He also has paranoid episodes, because C-PTSD. Sometimes they’re very helpful. Sometimes they are not.

I actually decided that he’s one of the flock that doesn’t meet their parents. I know in canon he did, but I always found that very clunky because it didn’t add to his character. He was one of the characters who, until it was convenient for the plot, seemed to care the least about his family. I’d much rather give that to a character whose arc would benefit from it.

Iggy! Gets! Older Sibling Rights! Seriously, he’s two months younger than Fang, he is just as capable.

Iggy does not know braille because Jeb decided it wasn’t necessary for him to know. Iggy is also the best speller in the flock, because Print-on-Palm was the only way to talk to Fang for a solid year. Yes he mocks everyone over this.

Iggy is the only member of the flock that enjoys swimming and can take into the air from water. Everyone else in the flock is incredibly jealous.

Nudge (Birthname: Monique Robinson)

If Iggy is defined by his memories, Nudge is his polar opposite. She was seven when she left the School, but she has next to no memories of it. She is missing a lot of time in the first year she escaped. And that causes... a lot of things. It makes her feel disconnected from her older siblings, it gives her the ability to function in society in a way the other’s can’t, it lets her feel less grief over the ones that didn’t make it and she doesn’t remember, it makes her feel guilty that she doesn’t remember what she’s old enough to know. 

Basically, in order for me to keep the character of Nudge as I saw her (more extroverted, not afraid of the world, fascinated with humans like her siblings aren’t, desiring to fit in instead of isolate), I had to put a little bit of distance between her and the flock. Of course, she loves them— that will in no way change— but she’s old enough that she should remember the school (and her dead friends) unlike Gazzy and Angel, but she can’t, and she very much fears forgetting the flock if anything happens to them. So she’s trying desperately to keep the flock close and wants desperately to experience the world at the same time, and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t have both. That’s her biggest character conflict throughout the series, along with that in-between area where she’s not quite where her older siblings are but understands so much more than Gazzy and Angel, and where she stands in that.

So yeah. Nudge’s journey is that in looking for belonging in the world, in her family, and in herself.

This is why she’s one of the ones that gets to find her parent, James Patterson. 

Other additions include:

She never straightens her hair. Never. Her resources at the E-shaped house aren’t perfect, but she still has learned how to take care of her hair and has a few styles she cycles through.

She becomes the default person Max sics on people when the flock is trying to befriend them. Also their de-facto diplomat around strangers.

As in canon, she does take some time away from the flock to expirience ‘normal life’. This does not last long due to the stress of being separated from her siblings/not being able to help them and [REDACTED]

Nudge is... not the only person in her head. I’m not focusing on it much because she doesn’t actually know and neither does the flock (I don’t know if they ever figure it out during the series, either), but she has dissociative identity disorder. She’s not aware of her alter(s?). Her alter isn’t super aware of her, either. 

The alter that I’ve developed is named Oxy and is not super aware of the outside world. In her eyes, she’s still seven and they’re still at the School. She would not recognize the body as her own if she looked in a mirror.

Nudge actually leaves the flock for a while to pursue her dream of living a normal life. She deserves it. She learns how to make muffins and the basics of software development. These things are unrelated.

Gasman (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

Honestly, writing Gazzy is kind of hard for me. Partially because I’m not great at writing kids, and partially because I feel like he’s a pretty surface-level character in-series that... isn’t super compelling in canon. But even if that’s the case, I try to treat all of my characters with respect, so here we go. In my rewrite, he escaped when he was four, which was half a lifetime ago for him, so his memories are ill-defined. Therefore, he managed to circumvent a lot of the trauma that the rest of the kids have, and not in the way Nudge did, which is by creating an elaborate blockage in her memories. 

Which means Gazzy... really doesn’t know how to deal with all of this traumatic stuff happening. So much of his development turns out to be a coming-of-age narrative. Learning how to deal with the horrors of what his siblings grew up with. Learning the fears that they had the entire time. Losing his innocence when everyone around him never had it in the first place, and being so terribly alone because of it. Because, really, how can you explain such a deep loss to people who never had what he had? How can they help in a way that matters?

Also, relationship-wise, I’m slowly deteriorating the relationship between him and Iggy. Slowly. Or, changing it, at least. Gazzy hero-worships Iggy in-series, and for good reason, because Iggy is super cool, especially in the eyes of an eight-year-old, and especially when Iggy has taken care to cultivate parts of his behaviors to be child-friendly. Part of growing up is seeing the flaws in your heroes, and Gazzy has to learn how to deal with it. End of the series Gazzy is much less closer to Iggy than beginning of the series Gazzy, and neither of them are really okay with that, but they learn to live with it, because that’s really all they can do.

Notes:

I’m keeping the mimickry! It plays a bit of a bigger role because that’s how Gazzy learned to talk. I’m debating whether or not he has his own voice or if he just borrows the flock’s as he sees fit. He also uses it to scream really loudly and occaisonally burst the eardrums of Erasers.

At one point he cosplays as Jessica Jones. No you don’t get any more context than this.

He has a horrible sense of fashion.

I’m changing his name eventually because it sucks. He’s either going to change it to Gannet, Garrison, or Ivy Mike temporarily, and permanently to Zephyr. (I never said I was going to make his name GOOD, because he’s eight, but it’s changing. You’re welcome.)

Angel (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

It’s just... a completely different character, at this point. I’ve changed so many things about her in an attempt to make her consistent and act like a six-year-old and work in the whole “telepath before she has a solid sense of identity”, so it’s a different character. Also, I’m tired of writing coherently or in paragraphs, so have some interesting facts.

She has epilepsy! Super severe epilepsy! I think she might also develop juvenile MS in the future because her brain has so many scars from being a fucking six-year-old telepath. There’s no way she could get out of that unscathed.

She has more memories of the school than Gazzy, but only because she keeps accidentally reading the minds of Max, Fang, and Iggy. On a related note, she interacts with Iggy as little as possible.

The mind reading means that she has a hard time developing as a normal child with a normal sense of identity or reality. She can’t tell how much people are individual people and how much they’re just extensions of her. Conversely, she can’t tell how much of herself is actually her instead of the thoughts/opinions/identities of someone else. It’s... kinda fucked? But also super not-her-fault. 

She’s albino because white wings. Also, because I thought it was cool. This also means that her vision sucks, though. Also she has the biggest straw sunhat and the most stylish sunglasses a six-year-old can have.

She’s responsible for Max shaving her hair off.

She has the highest swear count because I think it’s funny. She’s the only person allowed to say the fuck word in writing. Everyone else can only say ‘hell’ and the occasionally ‘damn’ but she can say whatever she wants for dramatic and comedic value.

She is NOT THE FUCKING VOICE, J*MES P*TTERSON.

Honorable Mentions

Jeb

I’m skipping Jeb because of how little I care about him. He’s a little bitch, next character.

Ari

STILL HASN’T BEEN REVEALED AS AN ERASER. I’ve been writing for 50,000 words and he’s over here saying ‘nope nope not yet, not dramatic enough’. He’s had speaking lines but has refused to make himself known to Max. I am so frustrated with this seven-year-old wolf-child that I’ve already considered how I would kill him, if I decide I want to kill yet another child in my writing.

So, my main thoughts for Ari is that he... really just drew the short end of the stick in every possible way. While Jeb didn’t sign him up for Eraser expirimentation, he didn’t do anything to stop it, and pretty much cut his losses when he realized this expiriment made a wreck of his ‘perfect, unflawed’ son, because Jeb doesn’t consider children of any species to actually be humans. So, Ari really hates his dad, which makes things complicated, because he also really loves his dad and really wants his approval. 

Which means that he also really hates Max, because she’s the child that always got Jeb’s time and attention, even when Ari was human. I think, on some level, he knows that trying to tear Max down to a less-favored level isn’t actually going to help his situation— infighting for the love of an abusive parent won’t make them any less abusive— but he’s also seven, and his development is already severely stunted due to becoming an Eraser, and he doesn’t see ‘leaving ITEX’ as an option like the Flock does. ITEX is his everything. It’s all he’s ever known, and they tell him he’s doing the right thing, and he wants them to love him. He wants his father to love him. He knows that if he ever questions ITEX, his father will never love him. So it must be his older sister that’s ruining his life and being a horrible child, and once Ari drags her back down to his level, Jeb will realize who the best child is and love him properly again.

Ari, on an even deeper level, does care for Max quite a bit, because she’s his older sister and he wants that to mean something in a way that ‘Jeb being his father’ obviously doesn’t. He wants what she made for herself, and he hates the Flock because she loves them and obviously doesn’t love him. 

Ari, if anything, is the product of neglect, and both loves and hates everyone who shows a chance of caring about him. And he’s seven, so he can’t notice these patterns, let alone break them.

So. Notes!

He doesn’t look like an adult. I thought that was gross and unnecessary. He’s seven, but he looks closer to thirteen or fourteen. Still young enough that he looks like every Eraser’s little brother, and the Erasers high-key treat him like it.

On a related note, he’s the only Eraser who can talk. The others don’t have the mental capacity or vocal structure to replicate human speech, but they can understand language (at about the level of a two or three year old) and are very good at nonverbal communication. This is why Ari managed to climb the ranks despite only having three years of “service” and also looking like a tween.

He doesn’t have an expiration date because that is SUCH a stupid plot point.

I’m giving him a chainsaw! I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but he deserves to have a chainsaw and GODDAMN I will give it to him.

Emergency and Gene

The OCs that I love and also killed pre-series. They don’t have any scenes, because they’re dead, but their deaths greatly effected Max, Fang, and Iggy, and they are very commonly referenced. Their voices are probably Max’s most common hallucination, to the point where she sometimes pretends they’re ghosts that she can talk to. They’re not ghosts. They’re dead.

Dr. Valencia Martinez

I’m actually keeping her pretty close to canon— loving, supportive, the type of person to take in a gsw victim with minimal questions. The difference is that rather than kindness fueling her actions, it’s incredible guilt. She has three goals surrounding Max: Give her as much support in any way she can, teach her as much about chicane culture as possible, and never let Max know that she’s her birth parent.

(She’s probably going to fail at AT LEAST two of those, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Notes:

She has a pet fox named Robin Hood that she rescued from an exotic animal salesman that got arrested.

I think I’m going to kill her. I don’t know yet, but it’s on the table.

Anne Walker

Y’know, the fake FBI Agent. Who’s not actually a fake in my story because I hated that plot point. She’s genuinely an FBI agent who put the Flock into pseudo-witness-protection in order to build a case against the Institute of Higher Living, accidentally got attached to her prime witnesses, raised them for a few months, realized a [SPOILER] and promptly had to let them get the hell out dodge.

I really like the Anne Walker that lives in my head. She is a VITAL part of the Flock’s development, their mental/emotional recovery, and adding to their safety net to fall back on. She serves them as their first adult role model, and is the first adult to show them what parent/child are supposed to look like from a healthy perspective. Though she has several fuck ups, she becomes someone that the Flock genuinely trusts and loves, which makes it all the more difficult for them to leave when [REDACTED].

Notes:

She and Max do butt heads initially, because Max is paranoid and also afraid of becoming uneeded. This ends up being incredibly important because Max needs to learn how to live and find meaning in life without being the designated Leader/Parent/Big Sister

Anne, at one point, sits the entire flock down to teach them about consent, which was something no one ever talked about with them before. She goes in talking specifically about consent in a romantic/sexual sense (because they’re fourteen and that’s something they need to know), but quickly turns into a full-fledged no, people are NOT allowed to do that to you, what the FUCK.

She’s responsible for giving the flock a laptop. It’s because Angel is online schooled (bc telepathy makes actually learning difficult) and was therefore provided with a computer.

Anne is also allowed to swear, but only when it’s funny.

Michael “Grey” Rivers

Aka Grey from the Sewers Aka GR3Y H47 Aka Mike from the Bronx Aka Gifted Child Syndrome Incarnate Aka Would-be-in-MIT-if-his-parents-weren’t-horrible. He’s my son, your honour.

Basically, his backstory boils down to him being a genius, getting into MIT at 14, his (horrible) parents wanting a perfect child who could “make it out” of the Bronx and represent his family/neighborhood/borough to the world. When he inevitably failed their expectations due to stress, a schizophrenic-spectrum disorder that completely alienated him from the rest of his support network, and refusing to take his psych meds because the side effects were horrible and they made it harder to think (and therefore pass his classes), they kicked him out. He fully intends to go back to MIT when he turns 18 and has control of his finances/scholarships/medication/therapy.

So that’s how the flock meets him. 

Mike ends up in a very prominent support role for the flock both in technological persuits (helping them track their parents, helping them get information from ITEX, trying to disable Max’s chip and failing multiple times until it becomes a matter of personal honour—), in helping the older members of the flock figure out how to deal with hallucinations/delusions (because he’s actually been to therapy, unlike them), and in being one of the only people who talks to them and helps them without any ulterior motive. He’s not trying to build a case against ITEX/The Institute of Higher Learning, he’s not double crossing them, he’s not plagued with guilt. He just genuinely wants to help them, and they genuinely want to help him, and that’s their first introduction to a healthy, non-codependent relationship.

My many disorganized notes on Michael Rivers:

He’s from specifically Morris Heights, Bronx, NYC.

He would say that his last name is actually Rivera, but his grandparents changed it to Rivers so it would sound more English, and his family has been in America for so long that he doesn’t know much about any Latino heritage he may or may not have. He identifies as African American, not Afro-Latino. He’s just bitter that his family felt the need to change their surname to have better opportunities in New York.

Nudge aggressively befriends him pretty much the moment she meets him, bullies him into teaching her how to code, and he very quickly adopts her as his pseudo-little-sister.

His delusions in the book seemed to involve government conspiracies, but as that’s the one delusion that is proved correct in the book, I’ve decided it would be best if his delusions and reality intersected a bit less if I don’t want to write him having a manic/paranoid episode in the second scene he has screen time. So his delusions are more based on “none of this is real”, “someone is recording everything I do and setting me up to fail” and “my ill-wishes on people can and will come true if I dwell on them too long.”. Government conspiracies are one of things he is skeptical about because he thinks most conspiracies are either “CIA admitted to this twenty years ago” or “antisemitism”.

He’s taking online free college classes that don’t actually give him any college credit, but they have good information and help him feel like he’s working towards something. He plans to double major in computer sciences and electrical engineering, minor in marine biology. He’s wanted to join NOAA since he was twelve and he is nothing if not stubborn.

There you go. These are my characters, now. I have custody.

[randomized-ice]

@nirioci I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!

So to vaguely outline everything I’ve thought out, it’s a slowburn because Chizome has never been romanced in his life therefore he’s oblivious to every single one of even the most basic pickup lines.

Nagant: You come here often? ;)

Stain: …we’re in Tartarus. We’re never leaving.

And Nagant, being Nagant has decided that she is going to befriend one of the most antisocial people in the entire jail. Cue the reluctant friendship arc where Chizome is wondering why the former hero is bothering him with friendly things when he’s literally the Hero Killer. Which comes to him not taking it the best.

And when Nagant convinces him that no, she’s not making fun of him and yes she does genuinely want to be his friend, he’s like okay and goes about his business

He is not used to communicating with people regularly so Nagant usually does the talking. It may seem like he’s no listening but he’s absorbed ever last bit of information he’s gathered about her and tucked it into his little mind corner. He’ll randomly mention something she said two weeks ago

Nagant then decides you know what he’s somewhat nice and he’s hot I want to date him

So she attempts to seduce him and quickly finds out that Chizome is as oblivious to flirting than he is to friendship. She really should’ve known.

She puts her head in his lap? He shrugs it off as a thing friends do

She uses a pickup line? He takes it as a joke

She gives him flowers and chocolate? He shrugs it off as another friendly thing

Man has never been romanced in his life ✋💀

And soon Stain manages to catch feelings for her. This is the first real friendship he’s had so he doesn’t want to ruin it but he also likes her too. So after consideration and Overhaul kicking his ass into gear because he’s tired of being ranted to by her rip.

So Stain, being the man he is, decides the best way to go is small gifts because he cannot word it properly. But again, they are in Tartarus. So if she mentions something she likes, he’ll do his best to get it to her.

She likes the pancakes on pancake day? He gives her one of his

He is not the smoothest but he’s trying his best

It also might be because of the fact he’s an almost seven foot muscled man built with a resting bitch face and can and will attack you with no warning.

So then it turns that both of them are actively flirting with each other, and everybody is like :0 they’re finally together!!! Nope. They’re just acting like a couple because that’s how they flirt

the malewife and girlboss dynamic: manslaughter version

They actually get together one day when Nagant offhandedly asks him if they’re dating and he’s like …sure! why not?

And then they are officially dating and everyone is happy except Overhaul who has now been subjected to rants about how amazing and hot Chizome is

Pet names. Nagant gives the best/worst pet names. Someone comes to Tartarus for an interview to soothe the public and they decide to talk to Nagant and she’s like !!! I have a big strong partner!!! he is so nice and adorable!!! and then she goes

“Come here little meow meow!!”

And out of her cell walks the Hero Killer Stain, looking like he just crawled out of Hell and is about to physically fight Satan.

Everyone is in complete shock.

Then Nagant hugs him and asks him if he had a bad sleep and if he wants to cuddle and he nods

and in that moment the only thing the world can hear is Shigaraki’s scream from the MLA compound

[kikuism]

mariam!!! okay now that tumblr unearthed that lost ask i also need to know what 3 songs you'd choose for each of your characters!! :'0 🎶

hello jenna!! 🤍🤍🤍 so so so sorry for the late response!! but in this time i've really gotten to think about which songs fit my ocs hghfhf i really had to use my brain cells for this bc you know i .... don't listen to english/lyric songs but at the same time i didn't want to just put instrumental/anime music for them 😔 this is like....new territory for me. so without further ado....

kiku: no introduction needed!! keywords: spring, pining, forbidden love.

reflection — mulan 1998: god. this is the kiku song. is anyone surprised??? Every single lyric just hits. i scream. “can it be i'm not meant to play this part? / now i see that if i were truly to be myself, i would break my family's heart.” SCREAM. “somehow i cannot hide who i am, though i’ve tried” i'm sobbing.

bloom — the paper kites. p i n i n g .... pure sweetness.

renai circulation — kana hanazawa: i haven't watched monogatari but this song is everywhere and everyone knows it. it just sounds so cute and the lyrics are So kiku....about feeling all 'fuwa fuwa' when your crush looks/smiles at you. and there's this lyric: ‘i know that the me that's inside of you isn't as big as the you that inside of me”, like, oh my god.

bonus: i love the way—from the something rotten! musical. kiku is both of the characters here 😌📚💕

and finally, spring by max richter....this is how kou makes kiku's heart feel :")

kou: the hardest one to find songs for. i guess it's just hard to find songs about....[gestures vaguely] gentle wise philosophical souls. kou is like....an ancient, loving olive tree.

constellations — the oh hellos: this is a song about how nothing is set in stone, how we try to find meaning in our experiences, how our perceptions of the word are constantly changing and falling apart, like tectonic plates, like constellations. kou is someone who muses a lot about the world and his experiences with it, especially as a blind person.

while my guitar gently weeps: from what i have read about this song, apparently it is about the universal potential of all of us to love and be kind, and how, for some people, that potential is still sleeping. being the philosophical healer that he is, i like to think kou muses on these things too.

telephone number — junko ohashi: ahhh japanese city pop....i love this song, it's so cheesy and sweet. kou loves loves loves talking to kiku on the phone, even more so since he can't see him,,and he loves his voice so much and he's always waiting for him to call :')) 'don't forget my telephone number, i want you to dial it anytime you're worried' ☎️💕

mull of the mountains: a lovely celtic harp! this piece is just so peaceful and tender and soothing. this is the energy kou gives off 🤍

naomi: overachiever, eldest daughter, no-nonsense. sharp, cold, elegance.

therefore i am — billie eilish.

oh no! — marina and the diamonds: the naomi song....omg. “don’t do love, don't do friends, i'm only after success” hello??? and i love the duality of confidence and anxiety in this song. “i know exactly what i want and who i want to be / i know exactly why i walk and talk like a machine” and “one track mind, one track heart / if i fail i'll fall apart”.

caprice no. 24 — paganini: this is a piece renowned for its difficulty....i always imagine naomi trying to play it. and its sharpness reminds me of her too.

aida: disney princess, wants so much more than this provincial life, adventure in the great wide somewhere....

when will my life begin? — tangled ost: the perfect song for aida! she's bored by the routine in her life and craves something new and exciting. she does make the most out of each day but also she just wants something new, you know?

belle — beauty and the beast ost. aida walking around the village in the early morning to buy ingredients for breakfast...

what the hell — avril lavigne: “all my life I've been good, but now i'm thinking what the hell, all i want is to mess around.” WOW. aida is such a goody two shoes who sets an example of how others should act but sometimes it's like. aren't you tired of being nice? don't you just want to go apeshit? i just think it's really funny. these feelings surface especially after she meets the world's #1 troublemaker, kaname.

kaname: gaslight gatekeep girlboss. eat the rich.

bad guy — billie eilish.

royals — lorde: “i've never seen a diamond in the flesh”, “we aren't caught up in your love affair”, “we’ll never be royals, it don't run in our blood”. kaname also definitely turns up her nose at the lavish decadent lifestyles of the wealthy.

anklebiters — paramore: 'someday you're gonna be the only one you've got' okay! scream.

buddy, ryo — devilman crybaby ost.

shou: gothic, weird, eerie. like a wisp of dark darting between the trees....not really of this world...

control — halsey.

seven devils — florence + the machine.

meet me in the woods — lord huron: this song is delightfully gothic and creepy and otherworldly. just like shou is, constantly straddling the line between this world and the world of the dead.

little dark age — mgmt.

hajime: the knight in the knight-and-prince dynamic. has the unfortunate dilemma of crushing on said prince.

tongue tied — grouplove: something about being in love with your best friend 😳😳

somebody else — the 1975.

king and lionheart — of monsters and men.

zen: extremely bisexual. he's just here for a good time not a long time. he's the complete opposite of kiku in that he revels in his lavish decadent lifestyle and wouldn't have it any other way.

how to be a heartbreaker — marina. this is his anthem tbh....zen doesn't know the meaning of commitment. he loves playing around,,,breaking hearts,,,,but what's going to happen when he actually catches feelings??

young and beautiful — lana del ray. everyone loves zen....but will they still love him even when he's no longer young and beautiful? i like to think it's an insecurity of his. also #doriangray vibes....

god, i hate shakespeare — something rotten! ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS EVER JGJDKSJGJ this is scandalous of me to admit as an english major.......anyway this is absolutely zen energy. bizarrely, i like to imagine this is a dialogue between zen and kiku hghfhgj

[greensaplinggrace]

So you mentioned in another post that you have some strong thoughts on Baghra, especially about how the story frames her as one of the good guys. I would love to hear about it.

@youremotionallystablefriend: I would love to hear you rant about Baghra if you feel like it (and haven’t already)! Personally I don’t think she gets enough constructive critique in the fandom for being the one that brought Aleks up and for the way she treated her pupils and especially Alina :/

Anon: Hello! I love your thoughts on the grisha books. I'm actually interested to hear your take on Baghra

@misku-nimfa: If you are up for it, I would love to read your thoughts on Baghra or your full critique of society in the Grishaverse. Your analysis is really well structured and interesting! ^.^

Anon: Hi! I saw your recent post and was wondering if you'd share more of your thoughts on Baghra?

---

Hello everyone! I was honestly very surprised to see so many people interested in my thoughts on Baghra? I'll share what I can, but please know that this is by no means a full breakdown of her character! It’s just some Thoughts I’ve had, and they’re mostly centered around show Baghra because that’s how I was first introduced to her character. Although IMO book Baghra might actually be even worse.

I’d like to preface this by saying that many of my issues with the treatment of Baghra as a character in fandom come from the wild double standard there seems to be regarding her and the Darkling. Darkling Antis and a vast majority of the people in this fandom who don’t like his character have a disturbing habit of absolutely ripping into the Darkling for all of his faults and then turning around and treating Baghra as some sort of pristine mother figure for the exact same shit.

They’ll talk about how badass she is, how strong she is, how they sympathize with her past (although they’ll continue to dehumanize the Darkling and refuse to sympathize with his own past) and sympathize with the fact that she has to deal with the Darkling (who’s always referred to as a monster she must corral or control, as if he is inhumane and beastly. These particular comments always take on the very distinct tone of victim blaming as well). They’ll laud her for all of these “powerful girlboss” moments as if they aren’t carbon copies of the Darkling’s own behavior - as if they aren’t things Baghra herself taught him. Which is why this is the wildest double standard of all to me, because every horrible action they praise Baghra for is something she taught the Darkling, and something they cannot stand to see in him as well.

It’s as if there’s a disconnect between their consumption of the literature when it comes to the two characters, and I’m of the opinion that it’s largely because Baghra is a woman and a mother and therefore infantilized in the fandom quite a bit. In fact, Bardugo herself often infantilizes many of her female characters in her writing. This is mostly through the process of excusing their terrible deeds, not allowing them to do anything remotely dark, or brushing any morally grey actions under the rug without ever touching upon them. Which puts me in the strange position of knowing I’m supposed to sympathize with Baghra for having to deal with the monster she’s created, and instead feeling resentful of the fact that this bitter woman is held up as this wise old strict teacher instead of the abusive mentor/mother she should have been.

Now, here’s what I said to make so many of you send me asks:

Last note, in reference to your first line, and also probably a pretty unpopular opinion. I do not like Baghra. And it legit has nothing to do with the Darkling or with Alina, I just don't like her "I'm going to hit you and berate you and emotionally abuse you and manipulate you and act like the good guy at the end of it" vibe she's got going on. At least Aleksander is acknowledged as the villain within the narrative. Idk wtf Baghra is on but it's absolutely wild to me that people aren't more critical of her actions. Which is, rather fortunately for you, another rant I will save for another post if anybody ever wants to hear it lol. (but like kudos to Baghra's actress. I loved the character as a character, I just don't like the way she's framed as a good guy. Weird. Uncomfortable. She literally set bees on the kids she was teaching).

This basically summarizes most of my thoughts on Baghra as a character and how she’s portrayed. I touched on it a bit above, but the way she’s able to get away with so much and not suffer under heavier critique is honestly baffling to me. There should be a lot more criticism of her out there in the fandom. This is the woman who abused her students and neglected her son. Although to be honest I don’t even know how to quite describe the emotionally neglectful yet unhealthily codependent bond she fostered in him from a young age. IMO, Baghra’s behavior around Aleksander is creepy, and I know she has a history that makes it more understandable, but it’s still incredibly disconcerting to witness.

But let’s get back on track! First of all, her students. Whom she physically, emotionally, and mentally abuses. She’s derisive, she’s insulting, she’s belittling. She works hard to strip them of any self confidence they may have. She uses pain as a means of triggering powers. And the strict teacher excuse doesn’t fly. The “it’s only a training method!” excuse is even worse. This is literal abuse she’s heaping on her students and it’s wretched.

The first thing she does to Alina when they first meet is insult her. Then she hits her. Then she kicks her out.

Second time they interact is a montage. Baghra hits Alina multiple times. She shames her. And then when Alina actually calls a light she tells her it’s not nearly enough, effectively wiping the smile off of her face and every sign of self confidence that had been building. Then we see the door to Baghra’s hut shut in Alina’s face. So now she has been bruised, battered, berated, stripped of all self confidence, and then banished again. As training methods go, this is not only entirely ineffective, but it’s also just abusive.

Then we get this interaction between Alina and her friends:

Marie: One time, Baghra released a hive of bees on me. Nadia: Worst part is, it worked. Marie: It really did. I could summon at will after that.

Which is fucking horrifying and not talked about nearly enough. That goes beyond hitting your students. Baghra used a fear tactic on a young girl to activate her powers. She literally tortured Marie to make her powers work.

Alina throughout this conversation is looking very disheartened. She’s lacking in any self confidence and the comment about the bees has clearly affected her. For someone who’s first words to Alina were “Everyone believes that you are the one. Come back when you believe it too,”  Baghra doesn’t exactly seem keen on Alina actually believing she’s the one. If she did, she wouldn’t be stripping her of every positive emotion associated with sun summoning.

Let’s not forget that Baghra demeans Alina multiple times for her status as an orphan. How she utilizes what she knows of Alina’s emotional weaknesses to provoke her and discourage her and make her angry.

And then Baghra drugs her without consent. To take advantage of any information Alina gives her in that state. To use the way Alina reacts for her own ends.

Because why else would she say this?:

Alina: We planned to run away together. Baghra: You had plans. Perhaps he never did, because where is he now?

Which is, strangely enough, the same sense of isolation and separation from Mal and her past that Aleksander is attempting to foster. Weird how mother and son are both using the same manipulation tactics.

In fact, why does Baghra never tell Alina about the letters until she’s already engaged with Aleksander? Baghra must have known he was taking them. Alina talks about it enough. Baghra must have known he was isolating her from Mal. How could she not, when it’s revealed later that she has spies in the Little Palace collecting information on him? How could she not, when she knows he’s the villain from the beginning - when she knows he’s manipulating Alina?

Baghra knows, and yet she keeps the same lies Aleksander does and furthermore uses that information to make Alina feel even more isolated and weak. Baghra literally just piggy-backs on Aleksander’s manipulation and then exacerbates it. She wants Alina to feel no attachments to her past because she wants to use Alina as well. But for some reason, because this manipulation and treatment of Alina as some sort of tool is done by the woman who opposes the Darkling, it’s suddenly okay. As if it still isn’t the same terrible shit but with a different perpetrator. I mean damn, at least Aleksander feels something for Alina. Baghra’s just cold.

So, point by point. Baghra mentions how Mal doesn’t care for Alina, she mentions Alina’s failings constantly, she mentions Alina being an orphan, she constantly hits her, she guilts Alina about orphans dying, she works to instill a sense of isolation from her friends and her family.

And when Alina finally comes to Baghra, having decided to abandon her attachments to her past and her attachments to Mal, the words that ring in her head are Baghra's words - “needing anyone else is weak.”  Which is honestly just a horrible sentiment in general, but an even worse one when considering how hard these people are working to detach Alina from anybody who can help her or give her an outside perspective.

Strangely, it’s also similar to this line:

The problem with wanting, is that it makes us weak.

...which is spoken by Baghra’s son. You know, the Darkling? Our big bad villain? The one Baghra raised?

Which gives me the impression that Baghra’s teaching methods with her students are really not that far off from the teaching methods she used on him as he was growing up. It’s a horrifying thought, and leads into my problems with her relationship with Aleksander.

First of all, show wise. What the fuck.

Aleksander: They’re punishing us for being Grisha. Baghra: Punishing you. You made him afraid. Now he wants you to fear him. Aleksander: I won a war for him. Baghra: And in doing so, started a war on us.

I get that she’s trying to convey how the king feels here, but it still feels incredibly victim blamey from a narrative standpoint. It isn’t Aleksander’s fault the king fears him when he used his powers under the King’s banner to help him win a war. Aleksander trusted this man who betrayed him and then betrayed his people, and we get a line from his mother, entirely unsympathetic, talking about how it’s his fault all of these people are dying.

Baghra: Where’s the girl, your healer? Aleksander: Dead. She died because of me. Baghra: She died because they always do. They’re not as strong as you and me.

Baghra’s use of the term ‘girl’ and ‘healer' here instead of Luda is pretty telling. She either doesn’t like Luda or doesn’t care for her. Either way, this is the woman her son loves, and Baghra talks about her so dispassionately. Then he comments on Luda’s death and there’s no reaction except to say that they always do.

Like, her son is literally broken up over here. Grieving. Desperate. Run ragged. Caged and hunted. Feeling guilty as hell. Mind running through a million different ways he could possibly save all of these people. And Baghra offers him nothing except a paltry “people die, get over it, we’re better than that, she didn’t matter anyway.”

Honestly, how is Aleksander even still functioning at this point? He has no support system and he’s working against a king and his army to protect a group of civilians he could easily abandon to save himself. The sheer amount of responsibility and mental strain keeping track of a group alone entails is already monstrous, but adding in every other factor? The recent death of Luda, the fact that they’re cornered and they’ve been hunted down while fleeing across the land, the fact that he was just a couple hours ago forced to his knees and entirely at these men’s mercy, begging for Luda’s life. And here his mother is, if anything a negative support system. Offering no other ideas, telling him to give up hope, not even offering the barest smidgeon of emotional support as he grieves, putting everything on his shoulders.

It pisses me the fuck off.

Aleksander: You’re the one who taught me how to kill, mother. Their blood is on your hands as much as mine.  Baghra: I taught you so you could protect yourself. Not them.

Once more, Baghra highlights how he needs to protect himself. How he should abandon the people he’s protecting. How he shouldn't help others and only ever himself. Once more, she says it’s my way or the high way. There’s zero effort to work with him. Zero effort to sympathize or compromise. She’s constantly pushing him to take the one option she knows he won’t take. The hell did she think was going to happen?

Also, Baghra taught him how to kill. Not necessarily great parenting, but understandable given the circumstances of his upbringing. But the level to which she takes it is honestly concerning. Like, look no further than this woman to see where Aleksander got it from lol.

Baghra also forbids him from using Merzost. Which is great and all, she gets to claim the moral high ground. But she doesn’t offer a single alternative except to flee and let everybody die. There was legitimately no other option to Merzost except for torture and death. If there was, Baghra sure as hell didn’t help Aleksander come up with one. Aleksander, who - by the way - is in no fit emotional state to be making any kind of decision right now.

So anyways, that’s just my tv show grief regarding Baghra, and it’s not even really all of it. I don’t want to make this an hour long read though lmao. But I’ll go over a few other things.

First of all, Baghra’s whole “We’re the only two that matter. We have to do whatever we can to protect ourselves,” mentality is one that she actively touts to Aleksander on a regular basis when he’s incredibly young. It’s honestly a wonder he grows up to care about other people at all. But the mentality itself is something Aleksander still heavily internalized in regards to protecting himself and those he deems worthy at any cost.

There’s a moment in the books when Aleksander is attacked and nearly drowned by some kids who wanted his bones (one of which was a close friend of his). He uses the cut in self defense and then blames the nearby Otkazat’sya village. Baghra knows he’s lying, and yet she allows an entire village to get slaughtered for harming him. This is a disproportionately violent act that Baghra approves of, and Aleksander as a kid is definitely internalizing that mindset.

Also, Baghra’s behavior around Aleksander has always been weirdly possessive and controlling. Especially when it comes to the people he loves. Her actions often come across as her trying to isolate him in order to keep him by her side, even when the relationships he has are clearly intimate. Which... is especially strange for a mother to be doing to her son.

She was also an extremely emotionally neglectful mother. Based on the show and what I gathered from her actions there, I’m actually half convinced she was physically abusive as well, in that “I think I’m being a stern, good parent figure when in reality I’m actually harming my child” kind of way. She fosters codependence with her son and then refuses to provide for any of his emotional needs. She drives it into his head that everybody dies, that he’ll always be alone, that love is useless and power is everything. She denies him the opportunity to be soft and works to harden him at a young age. She tells him he must never allow people to touch him, except she doesn’t work to supplement those physical needs in any way. She essentially abuses him.

Honestly, I could go on. But in reality the simple fact is that I just don’t like her. I think she’s a hypocrite. I think she’s abusive. I think she’s a terrible mentor and an even worse mother. And I think the fandom and the books are willing to brush aside so many of her faults simply because she opposes the Darkling.

I’m sorry if this isn’t what you guys were looking for! It sounds like a lot of you wanted a more of a sophisticated breakdown, but my thoughts on Baghra come with a heap of emotional baggage lol. It feels weird to say this now, but I actually do like the character as a character, I just,,, don’t like her in every other aspect. My feelings on Baghra are just a bit personal, to be honest. But hopefully this was at least comprehensible??