#you cannot look at him and tell me he DOESN'T have trust issues regarding adults since he may have been lied to so many times

[velolceraptor]

I love it whether it's romantic or platonic

making a collection

[thejustmaiden]

Jaken = Rin's Dad?

Okay, is this how a daughter treats their so-called father?

Most definitely not.

Rin and Jaken's relationship clearly screams of your typical sibling rivalry punctuated with cute and silly moments of playful bickering.

Yes, Jaken may technically be her main provider, but that doesn't necessarily equate to him being more of a father than Sesshomaru. If anything, he demonstrates more of a brotherly love towards her. As we all know, parents (which Sesshomaru embodies more based on real life patterns and parallels) will leave their older more capable children in charge of looking after their younger brothers and sisters. In this case, that would mean making Jaken responsible for watching over Rin and protecting her if need be. Ah-Un offers protection, too. Think of it as Jaken as the big brother and Ah-Un as the family dog who are babysitting while Sesshomaru as the parent of the household is away at work or taking care of business. I mean, they literally fit that description to a tee and I'm dying at the accuracy of it all! 🤣👌

[Quick! Someone write up a modern au where Sesshomaru finally gets out to have a nice date night but everything goes wrong in the most spectacular way. Like maybe Rin and Jaken catch a ride on Ah-Un to go spy!]

I recently revisited some episodes from The Final Act, and I couldn't believe how many moments like this there were where Rin got after Jaken or when she would "put him in his place" so to speak. Obviously, all of it is mostly harmless. I was only surprised by how often it occurred, not to mention how Jaken would just stand there and take it. Towards a supposed father figure, Rin's behavior is downright unacceptable. There's a certain level of respect a child is expected to show their parents/guardians, and that's just not what I'm witnessing here between them. Like at all.

Rather their dynamic has the nature of some sibling relationships like I mentioned above. So I really wish fans would stop pretending otherwise, because based on what we know of father-daughter relationships- healthy ones at least- they don't appear anything like what Jaken and Rin have. If you could please provide me other examples of where we've seen similar portrayals in fiction or in real life, then perhaps I can get on board.

Look, that doesn't have to mean that because Jaken isn't her father then Sesshomaru must be. They can both be her caretakers without necessarily filling that traditional father role. I'm just saying that if we're going to start assigning titles to characters, let's make sure we are accurate and truthful in our assessments. If you're going to label anyone Rin's dad, then it needs to be Sesshomaru. Jaken doesn't have precedence over him in terms of fatherly attributes, that just wouldn't make sense.

After all, this isn't about what you want to see, this is about what Rin very likely sees. It's safe to assume that she views Sesshomaru more like a father than she does Jaken. She knows she's safe with him (broadly speaking lol) and that he'll come for her no matter what. That sense of security and comfort is what a child seeks and what they should always feel in a parent's presence. She trusts and even idolizes him, just as a young and innocent child tends to do with their parents. At that age, parents are perfect and could do no wrong in their child's eyes. Idk about you, but this describes perfectly how Rin is around Sesshomaru.

Rin adores him and will follow him anywhere- yes, even into danger! That's what the innocence and unconditional love of a child will bring them to do if necessary. Fortunately, at the end of The Final Act we learn Sesshomaru takes Kaede's advice when he realizes that leaving Rin with her in the village is in her best interests. That way she'd be able to lead a more normal and safer life alongside other humans. Remember, Sessrin shippers, that doesn't mean he wasn't still a part of her life and didn't witness her become a young woman over the years right before his very eyes. Therefore, if they eventually do become romantically involved, then most if not all of those gifts had intimate and seductive intentions and it essentially constitutes as child grooming.

I understand from a Sessrin shipper's point of view why it'd be so much easier to claim Jaken as the father. In doing so, they diminish Sesshomaru's role in her upbringing. By refusing to acknowledge the real role he had in helping raise Rin (short periods can be crucial and impressionable too esp. in a child's early years so yes they did assist in raising her not only Kaede), these shippers are better able to justify how their filial-like relationship evolved into a romantic one. So yeah, I get it, if I were a Sessrin shipper I'd probably do the same. It's one of the more plausible arguments available to them, after all. "Let's pin Jaken as the father to fend off antis!" is the best chance they've got, but even so, it's still not good enough. But if you insist Jaken is indeed like a father to Rin, then Sesshomaru is most certainly one too. Who says she can't have two fathers anyway?

The thing is however much you want to deny or downplay what Sesshomaru truly means to Rin and vice versa, nothing will ever change or hide the truth of the matter. Please, stop acting like they're only traveling companions and nothing more. Some of y'all even go so far as to say that they're like strangers. Knowing potentially little about a person is not equal to a lack of love and affection. Making big assumptions such as this to defend your ship is actually doing you more harm than good. Let me elaborate.

According to your reasoning, if that's all Rin ever was to him was a companion and Sesshomaru had no real attachment to her, then what precisely is the basis of your ship? Recall that Adult!Rin doesn't exist yet, thus we have no real idea what she will be like or if she's even alive. So how can you make comments like that but then go on later to say "they have such a unique and unbreakable bond" or "only Rin can be the mother because she's the only human he ever cared for" if all that time spent traveling together didn't amount to much in the first place like you claimed to believe beforehand? Do you see how your rationalizing is confusing?

Contrary to what some of you may think, I'm not just saying all this because I'm an anti and I'm obligated to disagree with you, or whatever other excuse you want to tell yourself. Believe it or not, I'm attempting to give as unbiased and objective of an analysis I can based on widely accepted interpretations of family dynamics, development, and any history we know of.

Of course I respect that at times fans will perceive things differently since that's bound to happen. What's hard for me to wrap my head around however is the unwillingness of some fans- not exclusively Sessrin shippers- to apply basic common sense and sound judgment to their observations and deductions.

Looking at all our facts, then taking the small handful of scenes Sesshomaru and Rin do share together into account, one can logically conclude that their dynamic is akin to one found in a typical parent-child relationship. If you still fail to recognize Sesshomaru as a parent to Rin, then that's fine too. In the end, that won't really change the fact that he'd still take on a role resembling an adult figure overseeing a young child's care and protection. Be it as a vassal, guardian, what have you. Plus, nobody is saying here that Sesshomaru doesn't make mistakes regarding Rin's general well-being, but so do all parents. Overall, I think the majority of us agree that Rin is in good hands. Whether it's in his direct company or in his occasional supervision from his frequent visits to the village.

In other words, it doesn't really matter what exact title you assign him in relation to Rin, as the distribution of power is all inherently the same with any and all adult-child relationships. That bond never changes once you've established it either, seeing as it's a special kind of connection one can only form with a child and a child alone.

I was a teacher for a few years, and speaking from personal experience, you don't need to be a parent, per se, to take on a role of authority in a child's life. I know without a doubt that I could never and will never view any of those kids I taught in a sexual/romantic light later down the road; yes, not even once they become grown-ups who are independent and more than capable of making their own decisions. Those of you who disagree are usually missing the whole point though, because we're not trying to dictate what Adult!Rin can and cannot do like many tend to accuse of us doing. This isn't a question of taking away from her autonomy nor does it fall under "purity culture," which is why people shouldn't continue jumping to these outrageous conclusions and really listen for a change. You're deflecting from the real issue here when you choose to misinterpret what we're saying by ignoring the problem we're actually referring to. You cannot present a valid counter-argument if you persist in twisting our words.

Bottom line: once these kids become old enough to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, of course they have that right if they're ready. All we're trying to say is you guys ought to stop pushing forward this it's-completely-normal-to-want-to-bang-your-adoptive-dad-since-you're-an-adult-and-can-do-as-you-please agenda and not expect backlash. Ship it if you want, but please stop acting like their romance would be the epitome of a pure and healthy relationship.

Sesshomaru may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but it's foolish to presume he didn't actually care about Rin during their whole time together just because he didn't openly express his feelings until the very end. Surely everybody can comprehend that people handle and process their emotions differently. The way Sesshomaru chooses to is completely valid for the most part, so let's cut him some slack regarding this already.

What I'm trying to get at is that any child whose life you played an influential role in will always be a kid in a lot ways to you even when they're old and wrinkly. Just as they will always picture you as the loved one who guided and protected them when they were most vulnerable and couldn't always fend for themselves. Can't we relate this to children we know personally and apply it accordingly?

Finally, I want to end on this note. Could you kindly take a look at these two images below for a second?

The reason I ask is because of something I recently read that's relevant to the topic. There was this pro-sessrin tweet I saw that stated Rin trying to take care of Sesshomaru when they first met is what a mom would do for a child, which in their opinion, translates to Rin being more like a mother than a daughter if anything.

First off: are you freaking kidding me????

Seriously, so now children aren't allowed to tend to their sick or injured parents?! Parents are apparently superhuman and shouldn't be offered a helping hand from a child, even if they mean well and want to help their parent who's in pain?? Now this Twitter user was mostly being a smartass, but at the same time, it was evident they genuinely thought they offered a valid enough point that warranted no further explanation or clarification.

Secondly, by saying this Sessrin fans don't seem to realize that in actuality they're contradicting themselves and proving the point we've been trying to make all along. Glancing at the first picture and moving down to the second, the role of the one being cared for and the caretaker is reversed. So then by their own logic, Sesshomaru IS in fact like a father to Rin.

What it comes down to is the names you give to the roles these characters play aren't as crucial as the dynamic they share. The specific characteristics of that dynamic are what define the importance of said role, not so much the name in the role itself. So real father or not, Sesshomaru and Rin clearly mean a lot to each other. Close relationships are defined and solidified by the devotion and belonging they have to one another, not solely by the duration of time spent together and their proximity.

Well, that's a wrap! I hope you guys got something outta this blog, and that you enjoyed or found some portions of it interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject from this fandom, but only engage in conversation if you plan to be respectful. Thank you!

[elmidol]

PSA: Being Damaged Doesn’t Excuse Hurting Others

For the longest time I said nothing at all in regards to the harassment and stalking I received by an author I met in person. To my knowledge they have left the fandom, however maybe they just changed their penname. Seeing the post by @wayward-rose​ and the rest who were wronged by Mrs. Z and the reactions from others who have been uncomfortable with her behavior, it sort of made me reevaluate things. Not only the behavior of the author who wronged me, but my own actions subsequent to this. The excuse given by Mrs. Z in regards to multiple hate asks and such have led to her reactions… I get it but I do not condone it. For so long I did not name the author save to a few friends. Some know the author’s name solely because I have since admitted that it was the former co-author of the “This Isn’t In My Programming” fic that was discontinued. I’ve been asked even recently for the author’s name as well as what exactly happened.

This may be long-winded, I don’t know. I am not excusing negative behavior from my end on here that I will be disclosing. This is, in a way, something I should have spoken about much sooner. When certain readers at the time could tell there was an extreme difference in my attitude. Where I became very intolerant of some things. This is how I was not completely the victim, but at times the one in the wrong. And it is due to my experience that I can understand some of Mrs. Z’s bitterness but not her acceptance of it and the argument that she is in the right. This is not making it about me either. This is at last coming forward after having been asked to do so for close to two years.

 The author, MeganD1, and I met in person a few times. We had connected over instagram, and after she learned we lived in neighboring states she had said it would be cool to meet. I agreed but was not quite ready. She persisted. Pushed. I agreed. Upon agreeing, she had posted on her fandom instagram that she was meeting me along with the location of where I lived. I told her I was NOT okay with that. She deleted, apologized, but also said she did not know why it was a big deal. I let that slide since she had deleted it. During that first meeting, we had a great time. I told her how one of my favorite Lucasfilm artists, Eric Maell, had reached out to me one time when I was going through a very rough period. It had meant the world. I told Megan of my dream to meet him one day at a convention. She hadn’t known the artists aside from one piece he had done. She had had no interest in him.

 While together, we went shopping at a mall and talked. She did admit to contacting me to begin with because I had been one of the bigger author names for Kylo/Reader and Hux/Reader fics at the time. She also admitted to talking shit about me with another author. And I regret not listening to those warning bells. Megan and I discussed triggers and tropes in fanfics (which we did again on our second meeting). We had fun.

 The second time she visited, I had invited her and she stayed a few days at my house. We again went shopping and also sat down at a restaurant to talk. I opened up about my sexual assault to her. It was the first time I had spoken about details to someone in person like that. I kept having to look away from her face. I felt ashamed. I was shaking a bit. Trying to not panic. I thought it was a relief, believed she was understanding.

 We went to my house afterwards. On the way, Megan told me some plans she had for a fic of hers that she was writing and I was reading. I mentioned having triggers with those issues. So she elaborated on it, explained it differently. There was 0 way I'd have known that it was going to trigger me as it did. I'd NEVER been triggered like that. this was after she had gone back home. That’s what I’ll touch upon in a minute. We watched The Office together. Pitched the idea to co-write a story, and that is how This Isn’t In My Programming was born. Side note that during her visiting, I have endometriosis so have issues with that. I was doubled over the entire time but learned later it was due to having colitis; she did not help at all, so I essentially took out all her trash, took all her dishes, had to cook for her..which some of this is fine. I'm willing to do it. But being literally doubled over....it was a sore thing that I didn't address with her until later

 Fast forward to her returning home, writing the chapter, and posting it. Okay so I was triggered by the scene, privately told her on chat in instagram that she needed to include a trigger warning because it was a pretty intense scene and also told her that I couldn't read the fic anymore. Which I didn't think was an issue since she had stopped reading mine for similar reasons or else because she just didn't like them. She reacted by posting an a/n on her fic stating how she never meant to offend anyone, how she should give up writing. She didn't mention my name but basically got a ton of the readers to shittalk me for being triggered. It was one of the most hurtful and fucked up things for me. To read those comments from people who read my fics, who chatted with me. Talking about me like that; and me wondering if they would still believe that if they knew all the details. So here is where some bitterness and resentment started in me. Why some of my notes became venomous and hard.

 It was not okay for me to say certain things, to bash others. It was hypocritical. So this is where I understand Mrs. Z when she says that about the hate comments. But we’re adults and should take that step back. I regret many of the things I said. Which, again, I will get to in a bit.

 Megan posted on her fandom ig and personal ig how she was going to delete her ig. Told me in chat how she was going to give up writing. Where I was begging her to not, telling her I did love her writing, I just couldn't read this specific fic. Mind you, during the panic attack I was in the bathroom on the floor with a towel shoved into my mouth and screaming and crying. Struggling to breathe. I had my phone with me and was chatting with Juulna between breaths when I could. She was trying to help me calm, to get me through it. I didn’t share that with Megan because I had not wanted her to feel so bad. I did not give her the details of my panic attack, but she still reacted so severely.

 When she calmed down, I tried to get her to understand why that had hurt me. She couldn't understand so I said that we should end communications. She said she was open to discussing things if I felt differently. So I thought on it and wrote up an email explaining how she had hurt me and also my part in having let a few emotions fester such as not addressing her behavior when I was doubled over in pain.  I am going to show the email. There is a name of another author that will be omitted. First I have to speak of another thing, how MeganD1 would tell me in chat how she wished she had endometriosis or something else to better understand others. I did not know at the time that she was asking Juulna for information on my health conditions and playing it off as someone else. This Juulna and I pieced together after the post-stalking fic got put on ao3 by putting together portions of conversation with keywords/phrases/situations. So this alone was a violation to me. Especially with how open I am about my conditions because I want to spread awareness. I’m mentioning this behavior since it is addressed in the email.

She countered by saying she could never put herself in my shoes for being triggered because she is an only child, doesn't have to "wait to buy things when they're on sale" (due to my medical conditions, I live with my parents and can't hold a job). Threw my family dynamics at me. Then started to go through how she was bullied since a young age. And it isn't like I didn't empathize. I thanked her for being honest with me. I’m going to show a small portion here that does not include her personal information or anything like that.

So a disclaimer that the only people I have directly told I cannot continue reading their fic are friends with whom I chat with off of ao3 and largely due to them asking me what I think of the latest chapter. Otherwise I wouldn’t say a thing. They, likewise, have done the same with me. I thought it was so we could respect boundaries/triggers and support one another with other fics we could read. Cheering them on with those we can’t. I have worked on this since everything happened. I’m not perfect. Back to the issue...

After this email and taking time to digest it, I restated my position that we were parting ways.

Not long later I went onto the Kylo/Reader page and a summary of a new fic caught my eye. That was my hometown. That was not a Star Wars planet being named. Those tags were all my triggers and some of them were things she had openly bashed to my face. I had another panic attack, this one where I called up Juulna to talk in with voice. She couldn’t even understand me.Nor could my mother, who had heard me from downstairs and came up to check on me. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop feeling so violated and like the biggest fucking idiot for ever trusting her. I opened the fic because I was in doubt. But it was there. Details that others wouldn’t catch but that I did. She has since deleted the fic and even admitted that she did it to spite me. But this was the fic that changed so much. That made it to where I could not go onto the Kylo/Reader page for years.

This was the fic that prompted me to make a note on instagram a few times bashing people who romanticize rape and other triggering content. Where I stated if someone read those fics they were disgusting and I didn’t want them near me. So can I understand Mrs. Z being harsh? I fucking can, but it does not make it right just like my notes were not right and I deleted them. I reached out to a few people and apologized for them too.

This is the fic where when @kylosbrickhousebody​ mentioned I inspired them with Three Blind Tooke to write Mercurial...this is the fic that made me think it was a sick joke that they mentioned me. Why I thought it was malicious. I hadn’t known her, and I did apologize to her for my accusations. She understood where I was coming from when I told her why I thought that. Understood but equally held me accountable for my reaction. That I lashed out instead of coming to her. Because, at the end of the day, I AM accountable for MY actions. Even if we can empathize with them, it does NOT make them right.

I’ve been asked why I didn’t report the fic by MeganD1 to ao3. I was fucking terrified. I was scared to admit that this was me, that that was my home. I was scared they wouldn’t believe me. I was dealing with my sexual assault, dealing with the fact that I was in denial over it in part because I’d been told to “get over it”. Dealing with the colitis and an impending hysterectomy. My Grammy’s recently diagnosed breast cancer. I was so broken down with hurt and fear. I just watched the comments and kudos roll in for a fic that violated me to the core. I let the resentment build. And how was that fair to any of the individuals who would have avoided it if they had known what the fuck it was about?

While she was updating the fic, MeganD1 was also cyberstalking me on instagram, possibly tumblr as well. I privated my personal account from her. My fandom account I knew she was stalking with hers because she accidentally liked then unliked things. She had multiple accounts. Then she would view my story posts. I am guilty of checking on her fandom account once or twice, and she had made vague references to me in her captions. I deleted that fandom account. Made a new one. Followed my favorite Lucasfilm artist. Suddenly she was commenting on his posts. Talking about how much fun she had meeting him at a convention. My fucking dream that she stole with an artist she didn’t care about until I had mentioned him. I’ve never been able to go onto his page since. She found me though. Found that new account...so after months of not being stalked it started up. I deleted that fandom account. I stopped participating much at all.

The point is that throughout all of this, I was still and am still accountable for my own actions, for how I respond to others. I still get hate comments on fics. Do i want to lash out? Yeah. But I don’t. Sometimes I can take that step back and just ignore it. Other times I reach out to a friend for advice. Because no matter what, no matter just how bad things are, there are behaviors that are absolutely inexcusable. It doesn’t matter how hurt or broken we are. Saying something that hurts and possibly breaks someone else doesn’t fix anything. It creates more chaos. And I know that I hurt some readers I no longer interact with. Some who didn’t and don’t know any of this behind the scenes stuff. My hurt, however, does not justify hurting them.

So with the bravery of @wayward-rose​ and @callmehopeless​ and so many others, and with those who reached out and asked to hear what happened to me... I’m answering what happened to the best of my ability. While also, I hope, showing that those who empathize with Mrs. Z, it’s not bad to work to understand her hurt at times when she receives shit in her inbox. But that cannot and should not ever justify her hurting others. Especially when she then sits back and is PROUD of doing that.