#you cannot convince me he isn’t autistic

[moraent-keys]

Hc that one of Alastor’s most common stims is him rapidly flicking his ears back and forth (also Alastor is autistic cuz I said so)

[serqphites]

hiiii katie!! i’ve been in a massive longlegs phase (mostly bc of lee let’s be honest) and your blog has been a GODSEND 🤍 i’ve been thinking of writing a lee fic for a while but i had a lil idea that i wanted to send your way 🤭

i cannot get over the idea of wife!lee with r on a beach trip—especially if her wife fucking loooves it. she’s not a huge fan of going to the beach (her autistic ass does not fuck with sand) but she’ll go every couple of years bc ofc she’s going to deal with it for her woman!!!!! she’d sit on the beach watching r letting herself get absolutely DEMOLISHED by waves and she thinks it’s cutie af. she will (VERY reluctantly) get in the water once her twice but if something touches her leg? she’s screaming like he arm is getting chopped off she would HATE THATTT.

lol that’s all!! i just love ur blog and i would love to see u expand on this because ur like The Lee Harker Blog Ever for me :) much love 🤍🤍

— gracie

hello gracie !! oh my god PLEASE write a lee fic i will reblog it until the day that i die. also so honoured you wanted to send this my way hello?? i could cry 🫶 AND THEN YOU ALSO SAID IM THE LEE HARKER BLOG FOR YOU?? sobbing throwing up rolling around on the floor literally deceased

—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—

lee fucking HATESSSS the beach (girl me too) her autistic ass can’t handle it. the sand sticking to her? AHHHHH. the water that’s freezing and lowkey stinks? FUCKKKKK. yeah no this really isn’t for her.

except for the fact it now is because her wife loves it arguably more than she loves her!!

god i can just picture it now, you’re walking onto the beach so fucking happy to finally be back after not going for ages (lee cried and locked herself inside the house the last time you tried to go), and then there’s lee… 🧍‍♀️ girly is just stood on the pathway that leads up to the sand, your bags and folded up towels in hand as she refuses to take just one little step forward onto the sand.

you have to push her to the spot you’d like your towels placed

lee sits on her towel and doesn’t move, she won’t even uncross her legs. she’s just sat awkwardly leaning over the towel so she can make you a sandcastle <3 she’s using various children’s tools she’d ordered from amazon to build, picking up the shells around her to turn them into decoration.

she’s so proud of herself when you come back from the water for a drink 😭 “honey! look what i made you” and she’s all shyyyy

also lee is 100% the kind of person to write your initials in a heart in the sand, and not small too she wants it to be seen by everyone, just so they all get the message (aka “stop staring at my wife’s ass you pervs”).

ice creams on the beach!!! lee is so mad at the wasps swarming her LMAOOO you’re actually petrified so you’ve moved, poor lee is trying to be brave and impress you but if they get too close she drops her act to scream like a child.

after hours of trying to convince her to get into the water, she finally agrees! you lead her to the water (despite her purposefully moving slower than a sloth) and let go of her hand to make your way in, assuming she’d follow.

🧍‍♀️”i don’t want to :/”

SHES SO CUTE I CANT IM LITERALLY ABT TO CRY JUST THINKING ABT HER

“come on baby you can do it! it’s just water!” you attempt to encourage her, and surprisingly it works. lee veryyy slowly starts inching her way towards the water, a wave crashing into her ankle just as she does so. she makes various weird noises, you know when you eat something that feels like it’s just come straight out of a volcano? it sounds something like that.

but hey she’s doing it! she’s walking towards you with a big smile on her face, your expression mirroring her own. that is until lee feels something slimy wrapping around her leg, imagine the scream she lets out when she glances down to discover there’s a green alien trying to worm its way inside of her (there’s seaweed on her leg).

my girl runs for the hills. screaming like she’s being tortured before dropping onto the sand and swatting her attacker away (which is again, seaweed).

you make your way over to her in an instant, removing the seaweed from her leg as you stifle a laugh. the woman, your wife, now caked head to toe in sand… even the poor girls eyelashes have sand in them.

“can we go home please?” poor baby :(

once you’ve returned to the comfort of your own home, lee gets the most cuddles she’s ever gotten from you in her life. despite her silliness (not silliness, she was very viciously attacked by aliens) you’re still so incredibly proud of her for facing her fears and going on a fun little adventure with you.

[ashironie]

I don’t have a good feeling about Celia

I tried to post this earlier but it got deleted so fuck

But from so many standpoints she just irks me

-She has the same character archetype as Alice. Many have pointed out their similarities and while this by itself isn’t much (as is everything on this list) with everything else it makes me weirded out

-She just came out of the blue. We had no warning in the episodes before no build up. We were introduced to the concept she was coming and then she came with little fanfare.

-Her introduction to the rest of the cast is a lot different than Sam’s. A lot understated. Maybe Jonny and Alex just didn’t want to do the same thing again but it felt really rushed and weird.

-I cannot see how she can possibly contribute to the plot in any meaningful way if she is just another victim coworker. She was introduced too late to have her death feel like anything but fridging (when you make a character just to kill them for momentary character drama), once again she shares a character archetype with Alice so the only thing that they could give Celia could be given to Alice perfectly fine, and she once again feels forced

-Celia was also too comfortable too quick for me. She just instantly trusted none of her coworkers would report her for talking shit about their boss. She seemed too genuine about everything even though she was in a completely new environment. And she was just so laid back with everything, like sure she might not know the full scale of things but she seems like she’s been their for as long as anyone can remember (something that might be due to the fact I associate this trait with Alice who has been there a long time)

-idk if I’m reaching or going crazy with this one but Alice seemed off. She moreso just said “I’m Alice” and and Aliced all over the place. But as soon as Celia left she said ‘yeah’ sorta suspiciously? Maybe I’m crazy. Then she’s back to herself replying to Gwen, who we can assume is only less interested in what Celia has to say due to the situation she’s found herself in during ep 4 was it? with Lena. The only time we really get to know her thoughts about Celia when she isn’t in front of her is when she’s bugging Sam about his crush on her, and also literally all conversation she has with Celia she also has with Sam and shifts the conversation (aside from just meeting Celia) to Sam (imo). The only time we get her opinions on Celia away from other characters is the little ‘yeah’.

-We don’t see Colin’s reaction to Celia either, which would mark the third episode in a row where Colin is only mentioned (to my knowledge). Though we don’t have any mention that he’s been hostile to her. The only characters that truly talk to her and that we can see their reactions to her are Alice and Sam. One who I’m convinced is suspicious of her and the other who’s ’in love’ with her (I was completely caught off guard by this due to not even thinking about any of that in the very beginnings of a horror podcast, I’m autistic and demiromantic, and because I was half listening the first time I listened. I sense it more but it still feels like a stretch to me before Alice mentions it though makes a lot of sense due to Sam’s reaction to her mentioning it)

-I feel like I’d be amiss to not mention the fact this is the episode we truly have an Avatar in it. Needles is the first avatar we tma enjoyers know as an avatar (in Norris’s statement in ep1 we have the maybe scammer but it’s unclear weather that’s an Avatar, someone being possessed, or something else entirely). Thematically, this would be a great way to establish a connection with Avatar and Celia. She was introduced exactly when Avatars were. Also the episode name could also be a reference to the fact we are having our “introductions” to Avatars thought this episode, but that’s unrelated.

-People has also pointed out Celia is in Tma, same name and same voice actress (so no Michael situation or helen and Mel’s therapist situation [I think I remember them having the same voice actress and that being a problem] here). Although I don’t know what the could mean but that’s actually the reason I decided to rewrite this mini-notsomini-rant.

I could be wrong about all of this and am prepared to be wrong but still, needed to get this out there.

[a-literal-toaster-wtf]

Arnold J. Rimmer is autistic: a (in)complete list of evidence

let me preface this by saying i am autistic so what i say goes <3

but on a serious note, there is SO much evidence that rimmer is autistic and i’m here to display it all, i guess! everything i list here i also experience, so trust me on this one.

1. special interests and attachment to certain items

i think the most obvious example of this would be in s3 e2 “marooned”. he has such a strong attachment to his soldier figures (forgive me i cannot remember what they are called) and his camphorwood chest he’s literally willing to burn *his 20k+ dollarpounds* instead. in this episode he also mentions that as a child, when his favourite shoes were ruined he cried for weeks. he even mentions that he himself was thrown into the septic tank, not specifically his shoes - but he focuses on the shoes. he obviously had a very strong attachment to those shoes - stronger than an allistic kid probably would.

now, special interests - you cannot tell me his obsession with the military isn’t a special interest. as a person with special interests, his strong fixation on military history reminds me of how i interact with my special interests. i also believe that aliens and space were definitely a special interest for him in s1 - s2, but he doesn’t seem to bring it up much after that - but losing special interests or having them come on and off is definitely a thing that happens to me, so it can happen for him too.

2. missing the point/not looking at the bigger picture and focusing on small details instead

once again, citing marooned for this one. when lister tells rimmer he lost his virginity at 12 years old on a golf course, rimmer instead realises that at that age lister would not be able to be a full member of the golf club, meaning he would be trespassing - instead of the obvious point that 12 is VERY young to be having sex. another example of something going over rimmer’s head is in s2 e5 “queeg”, when lister tells rimmer the “shoes have soles” joke, it completely goes over his head - and when you think he’s going to figure out that it’s a joke, he instead says “how did the shoes open the car door?”

3. stimming

over the course of the show i have picked up on a LOT of different ways i’ve seen rimmer stim. here are the ones i’ve compiled:

bouncing leg

chewing/biting nails

biting fist

doing that little subtle bounce on his heels

swinging arm

pacing

honestly at this point i’m convinced his classic salute is a stim, as he’s seen doing it out of excitement in s2 s2 “better than life” when receiving news he’d past his exam (he also does it twice in a row for no reason at the end of tongue tied)

there’s probably more that i’m missing lol.

4. missing social cues

in s4 e6 “meltdown”, lister and cat are very obviously not interested in the story rimmer is telling - but he continues telling it nonetheless, not realising they don’t want to keep listening. while this could’ve been just him ignoring that they don’t want to listen, i’m choosing to think it’s the former option. he also wasn’t aware that gazpacho soup was served cold, which should be general knowledge for someone of his age. there’s probably other examples of this happening but i’m getting tired and can’t be bothered searching.

and now: a list of things that i’ve noticed but either don’t know how or can’t be bothered to expand on!

misophonia

hearing electricity

trouble keeping relationships

heavily bullied in childhood (and in adulthood too)

trouble with initiative (“i never think for myself!”)

low empathy

need for routine and organisation

similarly, organises things for fun

this is all the evidence i can think of at the moment, but if anyone has anything to add feel free!! i’ll probably end up adding more to this in time.

[zootopiathingz]

I watched Zootopia like 6 months ago on a whim, and now the fixation is still hyper...ing.

Yeah

Anyways, Judy and Nick are the best and deserve everything (I genuinely couldn't remember anyone else's names the first time I saw it) aaaaand yeah it's sad that the Fandom is basically nonexistent.

Actually, it's still going strong(?) on AO3 (i've made a few one-shots (shameless self promotion I'm Not_Quite_A_Moron there)) but still, kinda sucks.

Anyways, random headcanon time:

Nick has two moms (he doesn't have specific names for both of them, he just yells "MOM!" anytime he needs help)

Judy actually really likes eating meat, Nick just has to convince her to try it

Nick became really closed off and touch starved after the Junior Ranger Scouts incident, so now, he's a chronic cuddler (especially with Judy (which she loves))

Judy's on the autistic spectrum (she often stims by tapping her foot, and she likes to display affection via playful punches to the arm)

Judy was born on the same day that Nick got muzzled, as if the universe itself felt bad and said "here, have a rabbit" (definitely didn't steal this one from Tumblr nope certainly not)

Nick doesn't really like Gazelle's music, he's more of a rock kind of guy, but he'll stomach any song for Judy’s sake

Judy's asexual (Take one look at the nudist club scene and tell me she isn't at least demi)

Bestie I’d just like to say AAAAAAAAAA

Sorry, but I just got SO excited when I saw someone submitting headcanons! It’s been way too long since I’ve been able to have a good ol’ Zootopia discussion. Oh and I’ll certainly check out your fics! My user is Pixarpnflover so be on the look out for some kudos!✨

Anyway, I love the idea of Nick being raised by two moms! There was supposed to be a plotline about his dad—John Wilde, I believe was his name—but got scrapped along with a lot of other content. So until it’s actually mentioned in canon I’m choosing to believe his mom in the flashback was in fact a raging lesbian lmao🤷‍♀️ also would that make him a double mama’s boy?🤔

Ooo an herbivore converting to a meat diet? How intriguing! I like to think now that she lives in the city that Judy would be open to trying new foods, which would include poultry and fish. I can see her favoring sushi or even turkey.

Nick being openly affectionate after meeting Judy, and reserving most of that said affection for her? Hell yeah. He’s very unapologetic about it too. He’s waited far too long to share that amount of vulnerability and comfort with someone. No way he’s ever going to hold back🫂

Autistic Judy my beloved🙌🏻 You cannot convince me she’s even a little bit neurotypical, I will not believe you lol. I love that her natural rabbit behavior could actually be interpreted as stimming!

Dude, I have believed this headcanon for so long!! The second I found out their age difference, I just knew there had to be some kind of coincidence going on there. I mean, Nick could’ve just said “when I was a kid” when beginning the story, but instead he specified his age (or an estimate, at least) and I think that a choice on the writers’ part. Anyway, I’m a big believer in fate/soulmates, so even just the idea of Judy being born, destined to cross paths with Nick someday to heal his childhood trauma and make his life better, just melts my heart❤️😭

Haha yeah, you can tell the concert at the credits that Nick was only there for Judy😆 Not to say he wasn’t enjoying himself, he just wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as everyone else. But ya know, the things ya do for your girlfriend!😋 I can also imagine Judy listening to music she doesn’t necessarily enjoy either. A certain loud rock song starts playing on the radio and before she can even think about changing the station, Nick goes “oh I like this one!” And so she smiles and suffers through it. She may even end up liking it anyway!😌

As for this last one, I kinda have to disagree. Not to say she isn’t ace or demi, and no hate to anyone who shares this opinion! But idk, to me I don’t think someone not wanting to see a bunch of people walking around ass-naked makes them ace or a prude (which I’ve seen some fanfics try to claim her to be?) I mean, I’m horny asf and I’d be just as uncomfortable walking around a nudist club😆😅

…I never thought I’d type a sentence like that lol

Anyway, thanks for sharing these! I sure hope the fandom comes back someday, but in the meantime I’ll be here waiting and open to exchanging more headcanons! :3

[iwillstabyou]

Ok I want to say something about episode 10 and Stede’s ‘selfishness’ (and why Stede left - spoiler alert: it’s trauma). I put selfishness in quotes because I completely understand how and why he is interpreted that way, but I don’t think that selfish is quite the right way to describe it in this instance: I’m not saying that Stede isn’t selfish at all, I just don’t think it’s an accurate explanation of his actions in the moment.

Stede has been taught by years and years of bad experience that he is the problem. He doesn’t fit in with the other pirates, which is expected because of the class divide/his privilege. But he also doesn’t fit in at all with his own class either. As a kid, he was relentlessly bullied for being different. All we ever hear from his father is criticism. He never fits in with his family(pre-running away): in the dinner table scene, his only comment is immediately met with an awkward silence before they move on, completely ignoring him (this scene hit hard because I’ve had people react that way to me way too often and it fucking hurts). Stede also says in ep 5 “I was never really good at these things,” when talking about the party - the typical way of interaction for his class, and it is VERY clear throughout that episode that he is not ‘one of them’ by the way he is treated by them. There is not a single time in his old life where he is accepted for who he is.

Now let me tell you from experience, years and years of being lonely and unwanted, never fitting in, no matter how hard you try, does not do good things to your mental state. I feel like this especially applies to autistic people (and I definitely read Stede as autistic btw), as often it’s not even like we can change anything and magically be liked. You learn that YOU are the problem, it’s always YOUR fault. This, my friends, leads to a shit ton of crippling self hate.

So really, it’s no wonder that what Chauncey says really gets to him. His view of himself is so skewed by his past trauma that he cannot see himself as anything other than the monster Chauncey makes him out to be. Stede absolutely loves Ed. He cares about him so much, and wants Ed to be happy, so he does what he thinks is right - he leaves. He thinks so terribly of himself that he is convinced that his mere existence is ruining Ed’s life. Therefore, he thinks that the only way to ensure Ed’s happiness is if he is not there. (It’s heartbreaking to be honest. This poor man needs a hug so bad)

Stede leaves because he genuinely believes that Ed is better off without him. This was not a selfish decision: Stede isn’t putting himself above Ed, it’s actually the other way around. We know that Stede doesn’t want to return to his old life. He was utterly miserable all the time and he was so lonely. The only time that he is truly accepted by others without judgement is once he’s met Ed. Why would he want to give that up, especially after a lifetime of bullying? He doesn’t. But because he cares so much about Ed’s happiness, he does what he is convinced is the best thing - he leaves. The issue isn’t that he doesn’t care about Ed’s needs, it’s that he cares, but he’s so traumatised that he is wrong about what those needs are.

[impulsivesuperrobin]

okay @readbyred reblogged my hatchetfield oc threat post so here we go: (i apologize in advance for how rough this is)

mallory-morgan jägerman

(“it’s just mal. that’s a whole…mouthful i never asked for.”)

general info:

- east/southeast asian american

- bisexual and genderfluid (he/she/they)

- only a month and a half younger than max (18)

- is friends with steph more than the rest of the popular kids

- is “friends” with all of the popular kids because of max, but would much rather hang out/around the nerds

- has some of the gift that mainly manifests in prophetic poetry (nighthawks fly/jägerman falls/when the hatchet swings toward us/upon who do we call?)

- dabbles in the occult, but not too seriously (tarot readings, crystals, ghost hunting but not 100% in their belief in these things)

- was adopted at age 8, definitely favored by their parents but also isn’t completely certain the jägermans didn’t just adopt them to appear more virtuous

- max is both protective and antagonistic towards them

- they’re also protective and antagonistic towards max bc they know how it is at home for him but also is totally aware how much of a dick he is to everyone else

- they also are slightly aware of the fact that they are only tolerated around the popular kids (besides steph) because they’re his sibling (“i’m a jägerman, max is the jägerman.)

- they 100% are kinda a little into richie (in a “his autistic swag and utter lack of rizz has bewitched me” sort of way)

- in timelines where miss holloway isn’t dead: works at miss retro’s

now onto them in npmd:

- sits in between richie and grace in highschool is killing me

- sings “like a jock he cliches” in literal monster pt 1 as he walks across the stage

- proper intro is in the flick-it ticket scene

- tries to get max to leave richie alone (“c’mon maxie, don’t you have better things to do with your time? you’re already gonna be late for class.”)

- rolls his eyes at kyle and jason making fun of grace but also immediately exits when max starts thirsting over her (in a “i hear enough of this at home, i’m out. cannot watch you fall on your face about this” way)

- is with steph and the cheerleaders when they’re talking about steph getting stood up by pete

- is at least a little into how intimidating steph is when threatening ruth and richie into telling her where pete is

- joins them in the boys’ bathroom, apologizes to pete on behalf of max (“as a jägerman, sorry— about your eye, and my brother, and the fact that i’m related to him.”)

- “that’s some cool kid privilege right there.” “yeah, they’re not wrong steph.”

- visible disgust at grace saying max “[strikes] lust in the souls of the innocent”

- is totally in on the plan to scare max (“he may be my brother, but maxwell jägerman is a class a fucking dickwad.”)

- “oh he hates ghosts. ever since we were kids and i convinced him one lived in the garbage disposal.”

- agrees with pete about the waylon place making them feel uneasy, but it’s more the vibe than the structure of the house

- bully the bully: “he’s just a nerd in disguise” “i know that’s right.” [i’m definitely on the max is a closeted theater kid train]

- richie: *talking film specs* mal: *disproportionately infatuated* “you know a lot about this stuff huh?”

- is genuinely happy when max gets all excited about the prank bc she can tell he’s being genuine

- total shock and denial when max falls and dies (“he-he can’t be dead! it’s maxie, he’s like invincible!”)

- goes right into humor to try to deflect (“we just murdered a football star right before the big game!” “fuck! my brother’s dead and we’re gonna lose to clivesdale?!?! this is the worst day ever.”)

- bury the bully: “this is a lot.” “yeah, even for me.”

- “it’s been…weird at home. i feel…guiltier about not feeling guilty than about what we did. that’s usually wrong right?”

- between go, go nighthawks and the locker room scene: “hey, uh, shitlips! i know you’re not supposed to talk in the mascot costume so don’t say anything. but since you’re not under constant threat of swirlies anymore, you should maybe try asking me to homecoming. after the game?”

- he gets called into the interrogation scene late but just in time to find out that richie died

- grace accuses her of telling about max (“why would i incriminate myself?”)

- “grace…what are you thinking?” “if she starts snapping again, i’m out.”

- when they dig up the black book, they feel almost physically ill (“i feel worse about this than being in the waylon place guys.”)

- “i’ll try luring max away while you guys get to the school. hopefully there’s enough of my brother in there that keeps him from killing me. at least long enough to buy you some time.”

- max throws in “you turned my own sibling against me!” when attacking steph at the school

- attends homecoming (“never thought i’d be a homecoming kinda person, but this is nice.”

[merlinemrysse]

this is more of a spy thing than a training mode thing, but I like to think that he’s got low-level telepathy that he unconsciously uses for psychological suggestion. He’s not fully aware he’s doing it—spy just thinks he’s *that good*—but it’s just strong enough to come off of him as “I am your teammate. I am disguised, and you cannot tell. do not be suspicious of me. I am doing the job I normally do.” And, since it’s a *general* feeling of reassurance, it works on his own team, too.

after a while, and with enough exposure, one can learn to recognize spy’s psychic footprint. Usually, though, he’s not in one place long enough to give you time to see through his disguise.

Most of spy’s tech isn’t actually high-end; the dead ringer’s just a pocket watch. He simply *convinces* you that you killed him. Or, convinces you that he’s invisible. Frenchie thinks “you can’t see me non non monsieur” so hard that he broadcasts it mentally

Medic and Sniper are both immune to this suggestion, for different reasons: Medic can physically *feel* it when his own tech is nearby, since he crafted his weapons himself using whatever-batshit-power he bargained away from the Devil. Also, he deadass just can’t read rooms. Incapable of vibe-checking. Autistic powerhouse. Sniper, on the other hand, has to do so much mental math during battle that he has no brainpower left to suggest. Anyone can walk up behind him, beat him with a bat, and he won’t miss a beat. Super hyperfocused. He’s also convinced *himself* that he’s invisible in his nests, so there’s no way anyone could actually *find* him.

the one downside to it is that if you know him well enough, spy’s *super* easy to read. That’s the only reason scout can consistently get on his nerves. Not to mention jerma *also* broadcasts his thoughts, but he’s… not very convincing. He’s not very forthcoming about how he feels (he actually deflects a *lot*) but you can basically read his thought bubbles out loud so

pyro’s generally an expert on nonverbal communication, so the suggestion actually triggers their spy-sense and that’s why they’re a Godsend when it comes to checking. Enemy spies are visually distinct from other team members in Pyroland, which messes with the immersion, which *really* stresses out pyro.

Something that I think about a lot is how the bots in training mode always know where you are and who you are. They just pretend they don't, that you're fooling them with your disguise and your cloak.

Even if you walk in front of the sniper you're disguised as, he can't do anything to you unless you give him a valid reason, like dropping it or bumping into him. But he knows. He knows very well. You're not fooling anybody but he knows better than to attack.

There are two reasons I can think of this:

A. Somehow your disguise is so flawless, unaturally so, that even if a merc is looking at the mirror image of themself, there is something that is constricting them from attacking. Maybe it's in their body, like a sense of impending doom telling them to get away, do not engage. Maybe it's you, there is something wrong with the way you move, the way you breathe, the way you wear their face and clothes that has them standing there, stupefied, horrified or

B. Your disguise is so utterly dogshit the bots/mercs are taking pity on you and are pretending to be fooled for your sake. Yes they know, they know you're not their spy, he is literally standing right over there and you're not even trying to look subtle. Yes, of course they know you're sitting cloaked in the corner because that's where you always go. You always disguise as scout. But they don't want to embarrass you or crush your dreams because they think you're still learning, so they let you be until you drop it. Then they act all shocked and panicked and gun you down

[dykeyote]

if i had a nickel for every time i asked you for headcanons about an autistic penumbra podcast character i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice (ie: please talk about cecil being autistic thanks)

YES YES YES . THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME REENTERING MY CECIL KANAGAWA ERA U WILL DEFINITELY NOT REGRET THIS (lies)

okay so right . before i get into my Personal hcs i feel like i should explain why he is literally so fucking autistic to the point that despite being a oneoff chara he to this day is one of my strongest supported autistic hcs . because i could go into like Depth and pick apart a bunch of tiny little details but literally if i just in very broad strokes describe him as "a guy with an extremely narrow interest that he zeroes in on and impulsively buys tons of things out of excitement for it and who is infantilized by his mother despite being a grown adult and whose 'best friend' in fact seems to deeply resent him a fact he is entirely clueless of because of his inability to read the very obvious social cues" and ull be MORE than convinced so why would i bother

speaking of which he has a special interest on ancient torture devices which is like two steps away from canon anyway <3 his show is one massive excuse to infodump on the subject . pov youre about to get your head chopped off and you just want to get it over with but unfortunately your would-be murderer is giddily explaining the history of the guillotine

i think hes like . he has this weird masking thing that he cant stop doing where he basically CONSTANTLY even when hes not on camera acts like hes acting like hes constantly flourishing and performing for a camera and an audience and shit . its part of why people tend to find him kind of obnoxious because hes CONSTANTLY doing his stage persona bc thats just how he masks and gets thru social interaction while still seeming charismatic and he doesnt really know how to switch it off totally

VERY VERY VERY stimmy he cant hold still hes CONSTANTLY moving especially when hes talking . usually this shows as him just pacing back and forth and flourishing in the air while he talks but when ehs VERY excited he flaps his hands a lot and claps his hands and giggles . he kicks his legs when hes sitting down a lot hes basically always swinging his legs bc he cant hold still but when he gets hyped up its VERY AGGRESSIVE . which is bad bc hes always wearing very thick boots

he like . he masks a lot to hide Social Awkwardness which hes pretty good at but hes very very bad at masking his emotions if hes uspet hes UPSET . especially with sensory issues if you ruffle his hair when hes not expecting it he gets VERY FLAILY and makes a lot of dismayed noises he cant really regulate his reactions to stuff at all . im crazy about cecil and junos weird half-friendship so i think he Knows cecils ways of reacting to stuff and like just out of habit he immediately course corrects whenever cecil makes one of his little agh argh rhghrhg noises that means hes overwhelmed and trying Very Badly to mask it . dont let anyone kno tho they cant know juno (ugh) Doesnt Want Cecil To Be Upset or whatever

he likes lots of pressur!!!!!! im weak for the idea of the cameramen just being silly little dogs when theyre not doing their work and shit so he likes just lying down and letting one of these MASSIVE fucking genetically engineered monster creatures just fwop on him so he has pressure . tbh

ok im going on forever i can talk about how autismcore he is for hours . but last hc i swear i swear . hes very much a sensory seeking autistic he cant handle Surprise sensations but he LOVES sensory input when hes the person thats Causing It To Occur. he always has SUPER BRGIH SPOTLIGHTS on even when ehs not filming because he likes the bright light he likes clothes that he can swish around for the sound and feel and look of it hes VERY VERY VERY physically clingy for the stim of physical affection juno steel cannot enter the kanagawa household without cecil hanging off his arm

hes my skrunkly skringlo my blorbo boytoy etc etc etc

[beautifulduckweed]

Book Review: Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots

The Premise:

It’s 1973 in New York City, and slacker music critic Daniel Cabot is basically married to his extremely hot pediatrician BFF, Alex Savchenko. Alas, in tried and true idiot fashion, neither of them have any idea what to do about it. Alex is prickly and is of the (CORRECT) opinion that feelings are bad and they should feel bad and the best way to handle them is to jam ’em in a corner and tell them to think about what they’ve done until they either behave or go away. Daniel is sunny, open-hearted, and isn’t like, opposed to feelings, but also, like, what are feelings, whomst can say. They’re both turbo in love, everyone around them knows it, and they sooooooorta know it but also, in classic Cat Sebastian weapons-grade idiots style, have no idea what to do with it. Along the way, Daniel helps build a community garden next to his literally crumbling East Village apartment, Alex faces new challenges at his clinic, and they both navigate their way, slowly and at a slant, towards each other’s hearts.

Comes out November 15. You can find purchase links here.

Dramatis Personae:

Daniel Cabot: Some of you may recognize Daniel as Tommy Cabot’s son from Tommy Cabot Was Here. He’s a sweet-natured freewheeling dude, but also struggling to find meaning in his life. His Boston Brahmin-esque family (they’re not the Kennedys, but also are not-NOT the Kennedys) have some awesome members, mostly his immediate family, but the extended members are…shall we say…more of a mixed bag. He’s managed to dodge serving in Vietnam thanks to the machinations of his mother, and boy he has some real mixed feelings about that. He loves fucking his friends, and he really wants to fuck Alex, except, uh, Alex is…more than a friend? Or is he? Anyway, until Daniel sorts his shit out, he figures he can haul a bunch of heavy stuff around and rehabilitate the vacant lot next to apartment and into a garden.

Alex Savchenko: A Ukrainian whose family fled war and chaos for New York City when he was a child, Alex is prickly, autistic, and fiercely loyal. He’s particular, difficult, and is all-too conscious about this fact, which is why he finds Daniel’s acceptance, loyalty, and gung-ho willingness to accommodate a bit bewildering. He’s convinced he’s Bad At People, but he can’t afford to lose Daniel, who is Good At People, and also his feelings are no longer obeying orders, in fact his feelings are in open revolt, so what’s a guy to do?

Co-starring: Tommy Cabot (I would die for him); Patricia Cabot, Daniel’s mom (I would also die for her); Daniel’s absolutely terrible grandmother; assorted friends, lovers, and neighbors; the got-damn city of New York itself.

Commentary:

This book blew me the fuck out of a giant funk I’ve been in since about July, during which I didn’t manage to finish any new books and baaarely managed to scrape through a couple of beloved KJ Charles rereads (two of which I did as canon review for the KJ Charles exchange, ha). I cannot express how much I love it. As with all of the other books in the Cabot-verse, it features:

Sweater wearing (including a sweater vest, ah, Alex my beloved)

A plot that consists of “people are generally very sweet to each other and have a lot of feelings that they don’t know what to do with”

Crying (though less than Tommy Cabot)

And as with all of my favorite Cat Sebastian novels, this story is all about idiots coming to realize that they do in fact love each other and have for a while now, but now they need to work out the shape of what it looks like, and what their lives together look like. Like, it’s immediately obvious within five pages of the book that Daniel and Alex are basically an old married couple, they just haven’t gotten around to fucking yet, and also they are buried in denial.

And then, oh god. They do get around to fucking. And it is glorious. This is one of the highest heat books Sebastian has put out yet, either on par with or hotter than Peter Cabot, so if you liked that aspect of Peter Cabot, you are gonna have a Very Good Time with Daniel Cabot.

A note about the sense of place in this story: that mention of New York as a side character is not a joke. I’ve only been to NYC twice, so it’s not like I’m some kind of expert, but goddd the sense of place I got from this book was next-level. I could picture the diners, the restaurants, the buildings, the streets; I could smell Daniel’s apartment. Sebastian pulls off an act of wizardry with this; of all the books I’ve read of hers, this is the one most firmly anchored in a sense of place, and I love it, because it’s pretty clear she loves it. She even has a note in the acknowledgements about the apartment she lived in that��s the basis for Daniel’s apartment. Love it (though mildly concerned about her health after living with so much mold).

Anyway it might be too much to say that Daniel Cabot cleared my skin, watered my crops, etc. etc. but it for goddamn sure patched over some sore spots in my heart and fixed my reading brain. Since I’ve finished it in mid-October, I have gone on to finish three other novels, which is more than I’ve managed to do between June and October. Part of me wants to go back and reread it already. (The other part recognizes that I have over twenty library books checked out and I should probably get a move on those first.)

(But also. This book.)

TL;DR:

Daniel Cabot, more than any other romance novel I’ve read in a long time—or possibly ever—is about two people who love each other a whole lot, and then learn to negotiate what they want with and from each other; along the way, they figure out where their boundaries lie, and how those boundaries make their relationship stronger. It takes a lot of bravery to bring up what you need in order to feel safe and nurtured, and the fact that these two do it—allow themselves to be fully and truly vulnerable with each other—makes me absolutely goddamn feral. Just. Fuckin’ read this book already.

[thefanficmonster]

Fated

Karl Heisenberg x Autistic, Sound-sensitive Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Spoilers for RE8:Village, Noise sensitivity

Genre: Romance, Comfort

Summary: Not everyone could love a man like Heisenberg. But Y/N isn’t everyone, nor is she just anyone. She loves him as the whole package he is: murderous intentions, human experiments and all.

Requested by @phoenixofthevalley Hi dear! Here you go - the first fic I’ve ever written for Karl Heisenberg (first of many) and thank you so much for being my first ever Resident Evil 8 requester! Hope you enjoy the read! Feel free to correct me if I’ve described anything incorrectly or in an accidentally offensive manner. I have no intention of spreading hate or any type of misconception so I’d really appreciate the correction. Love, Vy ❤

Watching Karl get so excited over this grand plan of his - the destroying of Mother Miranda, his revenge - it all makes me feel uneasy. I can’t explain the feeling, mostly cause I’ve never felt it before, and I can’t quite describe it either. I don’t connect to people easily and I’ve always been told I’m the problem but I guess it took the right person to make me feel things I haven’t felt for no one else all my life.

“The weren’t worthy of your emotions, darling.“ Karl told me on one of the rare occasions when I opened up my mind to him. I felt his words wrap around me like a comforting embrace. For the first time in my life, I felt understood.

I think that’s what took me the longest to get used to - being understood, seen and validated. My opinions had never before been taken into account seriously, my personal boundaries were rarely respected by others and people always had a hard time dealing with how distant I can be. But what bothers me above all is how people refer to me as dramatic because of my sound sensitivity - something no one took seriously when I’d tell them about it.

Karl did though, surprising me to no end.

He respects that I like my personal space and prefer not being shown much affection, especially not physical. He understands that I have a hard time showing people affection myself. He goes out of his way to make sure I’m ok with whatever it is he’s doing, saying or suggesting. And I’m sure that if I were to ever tell someone about this, they wouldn’t believe me. That’s most definitely due to his rough exterior and intimidating appearance. Also probably because he comes off as downright selfish and rude when you first meet him, but getting to know him was a journey worth taking because I now know the real him. A trust me, his rough exterior and the softness of his true self have nothing in common. Although, he does claim that softness is only reserved for me.

With all that laid out, it’s completely understandable that I don’t want him going up against Mother Miranda. Thanks to Karl I’ve never had the displeasure of running into her, but I’ve heard countless stories of how powerful and downright terrifying that witch is. Bottom line: I don’t want Karl walking into something that’s the equivalent of suicide.

And I’ve finally decided to let him know exactly how I feel about it.

I’ve been sitting here, searching for my voice as I observe Karl in his deepest thinking space. He’s constantly in it, if you ask me - constantly thinking, looking for ways to make his innovations better, stronger, more powerful to add to his chances of victory against the sadistic ruler of this village. He was already at his desk when I walked in, hunched over dozens of drawings drawn with cut-edge precision yet in his mind they are probably not near good enough. In his mind, all he does is never good enough. He prides himself on this factory and what he’s produced thus far but he cannot stay proud of himself for very long, he constantly feels the need to better himself in order to remain worthy in his eyes. I wish I could change his mindset on those grounds but I know that my tries would be futile and pointless.

“Karl?“ I suddenly speak up, surprising both him and myself. I don’t know what I was thinking opening my mouth when I still have no idea how to go about this without making it seem like I don’t believe in him. That is in no way the case. I believe he can defeat her, if he cannot do it himself, his robo-army most certainly can. But I don’t want defeating her to cost him his life cause without him in mine I’m not sure what will be left of me.

He straightens up from where he’s been hunched over for the past God knows how many hours, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms as her turns to look at me, his sunglasses capturing the white neon light in the office as he does so.

“What is it, darling? Something wrong?“ he takes a step towards me as I stand up and go to approach him.

“Actually...“ Suddenly, that thing he keeps in a safety cell just below this room starts going off with that annoying loud sound it makes. It’s always disturbed me, ever since it came to exist which was not so long ago considering it’s been his latest project. It not only terrifies me but triggers my sound sensitivity as do most of the machines in this forsaken factory.

I close my eyes tightly shut as I cover my ears with my hands, praying for the sound to go away as soon as possible because I can’t take it. It almost makes me physically nauseous and gives me vertigo, bringing me to the brink of tears because of its loudness and intensity, like it’s drilling right into my brain.

I can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment the sound went away because when faced with such a pain-inducing experience, my senses tend to tune out while I still remain conscious, but when my hearing returns I the only thing I’m able to hear is a steady heartbeat and a steady breathing. 

“It’s ok, darling. You’re ok.“ I hear Karl’s quiet whisper, giving me peace and coaxing me into opening my eyes.

When I do so, I come to realize why the rest of the world has gone quiet. Why I’m suddenly so flooded with comfort like no one is able to bring me. No one but him.  One of my ears is pressed up to his chest while the other is covered by his warm hand which travels up to move a strand of hair from my face and put it behind my ear as he repeats his soothing words like a chant, slowly starting to let go of me out of fear that he’s crossing a line. He’s always so wary about that and I’ll forever be grateful to him for it.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?“ His hands gently cup my cheeks, tilting my head so I can look him in the eyes - directly in the eyes, for he has ridden himself of his glasses. I’ve found he does that often when around me - removes his glasses. I once asked him why that is but the answer he gave me was vague, all the while a small smile played on his face. Guess he’s a bigger secret-keeper than I primarily thought. It doesn’t bother me really, I know the only secrets he keeps are the ones that would be a hazard for my safety if he exposed me to them, so I allow him his secrets and I keep some of my own to myself. It’s only fair, after all.

I nod, blinking up at him, “Yes, I’m ok. But...“ Now or never, girl. Now or never. “But if you want me to be honest, I will be.”

He looks baffled by my answer but he doesn’t falter, quickly regaining his composure before he replies, “Of course, dear. I always want you to be honest with me. What’s on your mind, what’s bothering you?“

Now “I haven’t been really ok for a while now.” I take his hands in mine, removing them from my cheeks but holding them firmly between us - a gesture that surprises me just as much as it shocks him. Never have I felt the need to be so close to someone. It may be momentary and temporary, but I refuse to dwell on that as I push forward with my argument, “I haven’t been ok since you told me about your plane. The whole thing with Mother Miranda and all that...” Not the time to be leaving me, words. I started this, I’ll finish it. “Look, Karl, I know you and your army can bring that witch to her demise but...”

“But what, Y/N? Tell me.“ He encourages me softly, his hands subtly tightening their hold on mine as if to keep me grounded, remind me he’s listening closely to every word I’m saying. Like he always does.

“But what if it doesn’t go as planned?“ I blurt out, biting my bottom lip nervously. It makes me anxious, being so honest and emotionally exposed. That’s so rare for me I doubt I’ll ever get used to it, but that’s the only way I have at least a fragment of a chance of convincing Karl to drop this. “What if things go south and you end up killed or turned into a monster or something else?“

The concern on his face washes away when he hears my words, getting replaced by a soft, consoling smile. I quickly look away, feeling that confession on my part was quite odd. I feel out of place but not uncomfortable, I don’t know how to explain it. It almost feels like relief, like I’ve finally gotten a huge boulder off my chest and I can finally breathe properly. But I can’t, not until I hear his reply. That smile should probably tell me something but it doesn’t - I won’t believe anything until I hear it come out of his mouth with my own two ears.

“Oh Y/N, darling, you won’t lose me. Ever.“ His thumb swipes across my knuckles soothingly, drawing abstract patterns on the skin of the back of my hand, “You never need to worry about me, hun, I ain’t going anywhere. No one can take me away from you or you away from me. Anyone who dares to try, well, bad things will happen to ‘em.“ He chuckles, easing the tension enough for me to able to look up at him again. When our eyes meet again, I see something I can’t name nor describe. All I know is that what he’s telling me is genuine and comes, “I’ll always be here, by your side, Y/N. I will always be here to shield you from anything and anyone. Any rogue lycan or any loud sound, I’ll be there to prevent it from reaching you. Never forget that. Ok?“

That urge to be have him close takes over me again. I think that somewhere in the back of my mind I see a clock ticking down, counting down the numbered hours we have together before he inevitably carries out his plan. As scary as that is, I think I can do nothing but accept it.

And so, that’s exactly what I do.

Wrapping my arms around him tenderly, enveloping him in the first hug I’ve ever given him - probably the first hug anyone has given him - I accept our fate, silently hoping it changes somewhere along the lines.

“Ok.“

[that-was-anticlimactic]

sk8 headcanons because i am Bored

autistic langa likes frozen fruit a lot—strawberries are his favorite—because he likes the cool texture

reki has lip freckles that really stand out after he’s been in the sun a lot ! there’s like four or five of them :)

just thinking about “all those friday nights / under the lights / under the bleachers together / you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory / till you and i / something divided us” but matchablossom,,,

“but i’ve already lost it once / what i already won / i’ve lost too much now to care / but i know that something’s still there” ,,, matchablossom,,, ahhhhh

miya and shadow being besties,,, shadow being miya’s parental figure and miya being his adopted nb child,,,

shadow being the first person miya comes out as nonbinary to,,,

adam going to jail,,,

reki having a stuffed animal collection and letting miya name some and then realizing that miya never had a stuffed animal growing up so reki gives miya one of his older ones that he loved as a child and then buys them a new one too… and miya asks reki to name it for them because sentiments,,,

after seeing the girl he had a crush on kiss someone else, shadow takes out his feelings on the only thing he knows how to—skating at s but he’s not in a good mind and he feels sick because he thought he thought he thought he had a chance and he doesn’t pay close enough attention and gets hurt and miya calls him an idiot and patches him up and shadow feels like a kid again but it’s kind of nice to have someone else actually help with his wounds instead of just attempting to wash them and then cover them with makeup by himself,,,

joe and shadow bonding over hating the feeling of loneliness so they make up for it the only way they know how which is being loud and being extra because they don’t feel as lonely if they’re loud

reki, miya, and cherry = adhd club

cherry and reki drawing together… and reki teaching cherry how to be more loose and carefree when he draws and cherry teaching reki how to add more structure to his art,,,

langa stealing and wearing reki’s headbands,,,

langa with glasses

reki’s sisters doing cherry and joe’s hair,,, or even reki, langa, and miya doing their hair and shadow just watches and takes pictures and reki puts cherry’s hair in fishtails because he had practice with his sisters and cherry secretly likes it (and so does joe) and miya and langa just. completely messing up joe’s hair and putting hair clips in it and langa attempts a ponytail kind of like how cherry does his hair at s (and no cherry did Not find it very attractive shut up)

shadow being a scrapbooker and having like ten scrapbooks from his life,,,

shadow not being as good of an artist as cherry or reki but he does it because he enjoys it and when cherry and reki find out they invite him to draw with them

the crew / sk8 fam all going to shadow’s house and doing a couple scrapbook pages together and it’s a mess but it’s them and it’s one of shadow’s favorite pages because he’s never scrapbooked with anyone before

langa is just naturally beautiful and photogenic so the art squad always asks him to model for them if they want to draw people

joe has depression because i want him to

and shadow has anxiety

because i do Not want any of them to be neurotypical

yeah so joe has depression, shadow has anxiety, cherry has add and anxiety, miya had adhd and separation anxiety, langa is autistic, reki has tourette’s and adhd and depression ✌🏻

when miya gets old enough, shadow gets them a part time job at the flower shop

miya likes a lot of pillows

langa sleeps with no pillows (unless reki is partially his pillow)

thinking about after reki’s second beef with adam,,, joe after he tells adam off and they’re away from the crowd, he passes out because let’s be real—there is absolutely no way he didn’t get injured and the worse one is probably a broken nose and a huge gash at the back of his head with like skin peeling and stuff like need stitches so the gang all goes to cherry’s and they help patch reki up

somewhere in that time the love hotel gets brought up and by extension getting hit by the car and getting beat up and joe and shadow are on the verge of slamming their heads against the wall at reki’s nonchalantness

and reki’s p injured so he’s laying in the couch with his head resting in langa’s lap,,,

joe tells everyone embarrassing cherry stories from school like all the time (but joe was a foolish child so cherry gets revenge)

miya likes crime documentaries

joe unironically watched supernatural and that’s part of the reason why he and cherry broke up

(maybe joe just thought dean was attractive—sue him!)

lol wait what if cherry sued adam to pay for reki’s medical bills since they inevitably had to take him to the hospital

cherry constantly tells joe that he will sue him

joe may unironically watched spn, but cherry unironically watched glee

langa wrote destiel fanfiction once upon a time

langa wrote cas bakes dean a pie--

miya is carla’s favorite (after cherry)

cherry and langa with weighted blankets also

sometimes reki steals langa’s but only if he stays the night or langa brings it over and usually if he “steals” it, it’s them sharing it or reki needs the comfort of the weight if he’s not having a good time mentally lol

joe with depression,,, i just think about that a lot sometimes,,, sometimes cooking feels meaningless and, like langa, he only feels something when he skates but it’s only this temporary feeling of joy and life,,,

and shadow with anxiety,,, over-compensating his anxiety by being shadow at night and being over the top and sometimes mean because internalized ableism,,, and if he pretends he doesn’t have anxiety then maybe he won’t feel it late at night or when everything seems to go wrong during a shift at work and he keeps dropping flowers because his hands are shaking and girls don’t like guys with anxiety, right ??? so shadow thinks that he CAN’T have anxiety :/// poor dude

miya with separation anxiety pushing people away before they get attached because if they push them away before they become friends, then they wouldn’t be able to leave them,,,

langa always bouncing his foot in class and all the time because it’s his main form of stimming (look at that boy and try to tell me he doesn’t bounce his legs like there’s no tomorrow i dare you) and sometimes it makes his legs sore and cherry and joe once recommended using a heating pad if it got really sore and langa does sometimes and it makes him happy

reki with ts having anxiety when he has to speak in front of the class / do presentations because he’s hyper-aware of his tics,,, so he always meets langa’s eyes and watches langa the whole time and langa sometimes mimes taking deep breaths which really helps but honestly just seeing langa makes reki feel like he can do anything (because he would do anything for langa)

cherry doodling to stim as a child and always getting in trouble for it because teachers used to like get pissed when students doodled (or maybe they still do and it’s just always been pissy teachers and not specifically teachers when our parents were kids) and eventually cherry got fed up with getting points docked for doodling so he started writing lists and stuff and been realized he had impeccable handwriting (also joe let cherry doodle on his hand during classes they had together so cherry wouldn’t get in trouble)

cherry once had a dream that he was rachel berry and joe was finn uhh *insert last name here* from glee and joe had a beautiful voice when they sang duets in his dream so he managed to convince joe to sing in reality and turns out joe cannot sing and cherry’s glee dreams were never the same (look i am tired lol)

joe likes being the strong one in the group and he enjoys being able to mess around / show off by just casually picking people up (he also does it as an expression of love because they’re basically hugs depending on how he holds you) and one day cherry is like… done with it ??? and just strolls up to joe and just throws him over his shoulder or something and joe combusts because he did Not know cherry can do that and no his face isn’t red shut up he doesn’t find this attractive what’re you talking about

miya wants a sword and keeps trying to convince everyone to get them one for their birthday but no one will agree because ‘they’ll hurt themselves and everyone else it does not matter that all your favorite characters have swords that does not mean You should have one’

langa is the kind of person that puts peanut butter on a cheeseburger

reki’s love language is a mix of gift giving and acts of service, but he tends to lean more towards giving gifts. his receiving love language is words of affirmation but he does Not know that yet (langa does—hence his constant “you’re amazing, reki”—and eventually so does the rest of their gang lol)

shadow likes theatre

miya has internet friends,,, so does cherry,,,

joe posts those affirmations on his story all the time

reki’s texts are sometime hard to read because a) his hands get injured a lot and b) tourette’s but langa (and soon the others) learn how to read reki texts

langa sleeps with a fan on for white noise

shadow was worried (and feeling a little left out but if he doesn’t acknowledge it, then that emotion is not real… that’s how that works, right???) since he was in the hospital when reki skated against adam the second time, so when they all went back to cherry’s to tend to reki’s numerous wounds and also celebrate friendship, miya kept shadow on a face time call the entire evening

langa has an android phone

reki is super comfortable with periods because he lives with five girls—he also usually has a couple of pads and tampons on him at all times because he’s the older sibling lol

langa wears socks with sandals,,, so does shadow,,,

shadow’s feet get cold easily so he wears fluffy socks a lot

cherry keeps his fingernails at the perfect length to dramatically tap them against the table (also to freak people out by doing that)

miya is Not a morning person

miya also likes having the windows to shadow’s car rolled up because their hair gets in their face otherwise but shadow likes them down so it’s this constant struggle

i still stand by cherry suing ad*m and using the money he won to pay for reki’s medical bills (… and shadow’s… and langa’s if he needs any)

i just feel like many people have reason to sue ad*m

ponytail langa rights

joe had really bad acne as a child and teen and cherry helped him feel less self-conscious about it and helped him embrace having acne and that’s one reason why he exposes so much skin as joe because it’s a reminder of personal growth <3

also joe has acne scars on his chin and cheeks

joe has cherry’s calligraphy all over his walls

ik i already said so in reki with ts headcanons but he doodles pictures for everyone in the sk8 fam and they all keep each and every one and shadow even puts them in his scrapbook

let langa punch adam 2k21

let reki punch adam 2k21

actually they All deserve to punch adam 2k21

miya’s favorite movie is coraline

langa can’t snap his fingers

joe and cherry always argue over whether even numbers or odd numbers are best

miya does esports

joe was in marching band and was in drumline

cherry stays up late to look at the stars and he had those plastic stars taped to his ceiling as a child

reki eats tomatoes like apples and it makes joe want to cry

okay if the atla & and the sk8 characters became internet friends… these are who i think they’d be internet friends with…

cherry: katara

joe: suki

langa: sokka

miya: aang

reki: zuko

shadow: toph

note: suki, joe, miya, and aang are all actually besties. aang is the kind of person that would usually annoy miya but they just can’t dislike aang no matter how much he may want to and they somehow find themselves attached

but suki and miya would also get along really well because I know they would and aang and joe would just have fun and like it’s what they deserve so they are interchangeable / all besties

also sk8 characters if they were benders...

cherry: fire or waterbender,,, cannot decide

joe: earthbender

langa: waterbender

miya: firebender

reki: resident nonbender

shadow: earthbender

[fcrmula]

What do you think about how fandom treats N in general? Is there something about your own portrayal that you're particularly proud of? How are you feeling today?

i forgot to put the prompt link in

i'm putting the answer to the first question under a read more because i have........ opinions.

UMMMM UMMMMMMMM .... i dunno. i think i have a good grasp on how he speaks? he's very easy for me to write in general really... ermm and i have put a lot of thought into him in general. and i do my best to make him feel like a... human? like okay i do have him be a little puppy-like in child verse for shitposts but i do my best to make sure that the fact that n is, no matter what, a human. him being human is an inevitability he can't escape, but also like... i let him be petty and i let him have no qualms getting all covered in dirt and i let him get a little silly sometimes. not just stock infallible prettyboy who is never genuinely awkward or never has Moments Of Stupid. i think i do... an at least Okay job of getting across that he is Only Human After All

unfortunately a little sleepy and brainless </3 been feeling like that a lot lately actually and it's putting... a big damper on not only my writing ability but my ability for one-on-one conversation (harder for me than talking to a general audience like the dash/in a server, for. for some reason) waiting for a package right now so maybe that will heal me when it finally gets here

now we get into. my. opinions................

okay this is about to get extremely salty and you migjt already have guessed what this is about (or possibly already know because you looked at the tags) but: the n is a zoroark theory fucking sucks and i hate it. he is literally so much more interesting as a human who cannot be anything BUT human no matter how hard he tries. fuck your "evidence" here's MY evidence 

it makes no logical sense for him to be a zoroark in general because. um. why would he be convinced he's a human. why would he have been disguised as a human while in the woods with no humans around and ANOTHER ZORUA BY HIS SIDE. WHY WOULD ANTHEA AND CONCORDIA TALK ABOUT 5HE REASON FOR HIS ABANDONMENT BEING "HE DISTURBED PEOPLE WITH BEHAVIOR SUGGESTING HE COULD TALK TO POKEMON" WHY WOULD HE CLEARLY STRUGGLE WITH BEING BETWEEN POKEMON AND HUMAN IF HE WAS A POKEMON. HE SPEAKS ABOUT HIMSELF IN A WAY THAT IS DISTANT FROM BOTH POKEMON AND HUMANS BECAUSE HE’S A HUMAN WHO DOESN’T FEEL LIKE A HUMAN. IF HE WAS A POKEMON THERE WOULD BE LITERALLY ZERO CONFLICT...? WHY WOULD GHETSIS NEED TO ADOPT A SPECIFIC ZORUA AND RAISE IT TO ADULTHOOD THEN TELL IT HE'S ASHAMED TO SHARE A SURNAME WITH IT AND WHY IN GOD’S NAME WOULD HE BOTHER MANIPULATING A POKEMON FOR YEARS WHEN HE’S CLEARLY NOT ABOVE FORCING POKEMON TO DO WHAT HE WANTS. WHY WOULD HE EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE N ENOUGH TO CALL HIM A FREAK WITHOUT A HUMAN HEART AND NOT JUST BE LIKE “YOU’RE LITERALLY A POKEMON SHUT UP” IF A TALKING DOG MADE YOU MAD WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK TO CALL IT A FREAK WITHOUT A HUMAN HEART. THE POINT OF THE INSULT IS “YOUR BODY IS HUMAN BUT YOUR HEART ISN’T”. WHY WOULD HE EVEN BOTHER TELLING THE POKEMON HE'S ITS DAD IT WOULD CLEARLY FUCKING KNOW THAT ISN'T TRUE. IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SEEEEENSE

HE IS LITERALLY JUST AUTISTIC. THAT'S IT. HE IS AUTISTIC. DON'T MAKE HIM A NONHUMAN???? 

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HE IS JUST PLAIN AND SIMPLE SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING AS A HUMAN CHARACTER IN EVERY WAY DOES ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES AND THINKS A LOT ABOUT N EVEN BELIEVE THSI THEORY BECAUSE I CANNOT FATHOM IT IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT HIM

............ i have a lot of feelings about that "theory" and all of them are negative. i don't mind aus where he's a pokemon but if you suggest that it's canon i'll go nuts. and don’t come at me with “it’s just a thought/idea” because if you call it a theory then you think it has footing in canon, whether originally intended or not. call it your damn headcanon if you don’t think it’s real but you just like the concept. and sorry if you like that theory but like.... reconsider, maybe? especially because he is so very autismpilled and basically saying "he acts weird because he's secretly NOT A HUMAN" is fucked up. it gets me so viscerally upset i had to skip the entire portion of izzzyzzz's pokemon iceberg video that talked about it ..... other than that i do not touch the fandom at large i don't trust fandoms in general and i especially do not trust them with n my darling n. outside of people i personally know i only trust a select few fanartists/adjacents who Get him. ALSO if anyone especially some rando tries to respond here to talk about that theory and explain why it's Good Actually....... i will simply block them on sight. it’s not a matter of if you believe in it/don’t mind it i just don’t want you trying to convince me it’s real or fine or good i DON’T CARE i don’t want to hear it! and i don’t care if it’s prefaced with “but I’M autistic” well autistic people can have bad taste and you’re one of them get out of my house

[asmolemmeeatyouout]

The boys with Autistic! MC! part two ! SFW

(Bc I’m self indulgent and like 5 ppl wanted it so yesyesyes)

(Had my first proper spoonie day in a while today so imma finish this after what 4 months? Whoopsie. Sorry if any of the points overlap I’ve not re read my last post, please shoot me an ask if you want anything clarified/expanded on !)

Lucifer:

Has to stop his brothers from constantly bothering you when you’re overwhelmed (they’re just worried)

You very quickly learn his office is the safest place to be when overwhelmed due to the dim lighting and the brother deterring curse on his doorway

He has a record player and SO much classical music for when you need background noise

This leads to impromptu slow dancing when you insist he needs a break and there’s music playing

If you have your own records, the *smoother ones will end up mixed in with his

*smoother as in less staccato /distracting because he is most likely working

Very much enjoys spending time in silence with you, he finds it comfortng to just exist with someone without having anything needed of him

Especially if you’re both doing your own thing, like you just being in the room with him (playing a game or reading or smthn) while he does his paperwork is so soothing to him

Mammon:

Have you seen his horns? They’re so smooth and shinyyy, a+++ stimming material

He loves head pats so he’ll willingly put his head in your lap when you watch movies

he’s very proud of his demon form but also kind of shy so it’ll take some coaxing to get him to let you touch his horns but when he sees how content it makes you? It’s his new favourite hobby letting you play with his hair and horns during movies

(That said they’re very sensitive (like him) so be gentle)

He WILL adopt your love language and mannerisms:

if you bump people he will start knocking into you constantly, (wrists, hips, shoulders, head, any and all on random repeat)

if you like to collect and give things to people he will a. Hoard them in a little shrine (that he Denys. having) and b. Start looking for things he can give you back

If you rub textures you like you’ll find him stroking your arms/face/jumper right back (sometimes with his face, but only ever in private because he feels vulnerable using such a soft form of affection)

Levithian:

You cannot tell me this man isn’t autistic

Communication is SO! EASY!

Then even If you don’t understand you can just ask. You can just ask and he’ll tell you. None of this ‘figure it out yourself’ nt bullshit

Our baby has anxiety anyway so he’s probably ‘over’ explained it before you can say anything

(Over explained in the sense of nt, personally I love it when ppl get really detailed)

In that case he gets embarrassed about how much he’s talking so it’s your turn to reassure him that he’s not boring you

The solace you get in realising you like all of his autistic traits soothes your own insecurities

That being said your anxiety (if you have it) is matchy matchy so don’t expect him to talk to the cashier for you

He’s very chill with you being non verbal because either he’s absorbed in his own game/anime/show or it means there’s more room for him to talk about his interests

That being said if your special interests/ hyperfixations don’t line up on any given day? The bickering over who’s turn it is to infodump gets intense (this is the one source of all your arguments)

All the other brothers are kind of terrified/jealous of your relationship, especially when they see you talking about a shared special interest because you talk rapid fire and very in-depth. to them it’s almost like you’re talking in code or another language because they know all the individual words but what the everloving fuck are you on about

Asmodeus:

Has specific outfits he wears when he wants you to hug him (which is always). They’re made out of the softest material, or any clothing of his you’ve expressed a texture interest in.

Finds it so amusing when you come rushing over to rub your face against his chest bc mmmmm softsoftsoft

Likes to text you in the morning to see how you’re feeling (and how sensory sensitive you are because god forbid his outfit with chains and jangles stops him from seeing you)

Understands better than Anyone that affection and love can be shown in a whole barrage of ways not just physically

Figures out how you show affection faster than any of the other brothers

Immediately starts reciprocating it (partly bc he’s selfishly trying to make you love him most)

Satan:

Will learn about your special interests so he can engage you on the topic

Is the ONLY person in the house you can talk about any special interest with, no matter how niche because he loves learning (although he does prefer the *academic* side of them rather than pop culture but he will listen to both)

*academic* as in something involving learning about something or crafting or *how* to do something, not just like, maths

You’re pretty much the only person who can keep up with him in terms of knowledge and enthusiasm (even if it’s only for very specific things) and thus you become the person he talks to about his interests

Originally kind of annoyed by how absentminded you are (because you forget several dates) but once you get settled into a routine he starts to find it cute how habitual you are, and then realises it could work to his advantage.

He then schedules a date into your weekly routine (or biweekly depending on your energy levels) so you start to get upset if it’s missed bc it’s part of your routine. (Satan is ridiculously smart and is very much willing to manipulate your routine to his (and yours) advantage, he is a demon after all)

Beelzebub:

Gives the best squishes. He’s just so big he can literally envelope you (in other news he is terrified of hurting you so he’s very nervous at first, he’s used to huggin ppl very gently bc he is a muscle mountain)

Maybe don’t use chew stims around him (unless he’s eating) because seeing you use them will either make him hungry, or he’ll ask to see it and oops it’s been swallowed hope you didn’t want that back (he’s very apologetic he really didn’t mean to but it was in his mouth and chewed before he could think)

Literally the kindest man in the universe, if you have issues with shame or *guilt* (especially if it creeps outta nowhere or it relates to not being able to do something) he will a. Reassure you and give you cuddles until you feel okay (or one on one bonding time if you’re too touch sensitive) then b. Go help with whatever task was too much so you don’t have to worry

Belphagor:

Have I mentioned the stuffies? This boy definitely has a stash of soft toys that all have names and personalities. This originally stemmed from the fact he was locked alone in an attic for a year, he needed some form of company or he was gonna go crazy, and sleeping alone is meh in his opinion. But then he became attached and after you showed him yours? And you weren’t ashamed of your teddy bears or how much you loved them he confided in you about his. (And you had a tea party)

Problems sleeping ? (Me too bud it’s 3.44 am lol) nonononno baby boy has got you, just snuggle up to him and you’ll be snoozing in no time (I HC that being around belphagor just makes you a little sleepy and the longer you’re there the stronger the urge to sleep gets)

You’re at rad (or out in public and can’t leave) and get overstimmed? Belphie has got you! He keeps sunglasses on him so he can secretly sleep when he’s not supposed to. Also (imo) he’s the king of hoodies, both his main outfits have a hood (and you can’t convince me he doesn’t wear one of them over his uniform as soon as lucifer dips), my boy will slip his hoodie on you and wrap you in a hug to get you away from the noise/sights

(I am now too tired to write anymore, hope yall enjoyed!)

[nofrndofmine]

OK SO

None of the main four in Butterfly Soup are neurotypical and there’s like? A lot of evidence to support it?

(I have ADHD and I am mostly just pointing out things about them I see in myself, I’m aware Brianna has said she didn’t write them this way but there is so much evidence you simply cannot convince me otherwise you cannot)

Starting with Diya, I believe she’s autistic and has ADHD

Brianna has said she doesn’t like to wear anything that isn’t comfortable and she wears gloves more often than not which makes me think she has sensory issues

•

•

(This is from the art book, if you’re wondering)

In most of her sprites she’s looking to the side which makes me think she has problems with making eye contact

The way Brianna describes her relationship with her parents sounds like RSD to me (the whole “people actually talk to their parents for fun” and “every time I talk to them it just turns into a lecture” things)

Brianna’s also said she falls asleep studying a lot. As someone with ADHD, I tend to stay up extremely late trying to do homework as my executive dysfunction doesn’t allow me to do it at like. Regular times so this makes me believe she also has executive dysfunction and often has to stay up late doing homework/studying

Diya has a hard time conveying certain emotions and will go non-verbal or play dead instead of doing so. There is no neurotypical explanation for that there simply isn’t man idk

Also!!! Special interest in animals!!! You cannot convince me otherwise

And sidenote, while I do hc her as being autistic and having ADHD, it is important to note that she has social anxiety which is mostly caused by her being HoH and that that’s a big reason she is the way she is. I feel it’s really important not to ignore that fact about her when discussing this

Secondly, I think Noelle is autistic

She often gets upset with people touching her which I know is like, canonically her being her but I think she has sensory issues personally. I’m also going to point out she’s a picky eater. I know that that doesn’t have to mean you have sensory issues but if she eats like, exclusively plain food and rejects anything too sugary or salty it just seems like sensory issues to me, like combined with everything else

The way Brianna has described her relationship with math and science feels like a special interest to me, she acts like she talks about it a lot because she thinks she sounds smart but actually she just. Really likes talking about math and science

•

•

Her social skills in general are just not very good and the fact that her only friend was Diya for literally a decade before becoming friends with Min and Akarsha doesn’t help either. The way she responds to Akarsha’s jokes makes me believe she doesn’t understand sarcasm very well (and god me too). I also overreact to jokes as I just don’t understand it most of the time which to me seems like what she does

Min has ADHD and the fact that it’s not canon is so confusing like what ❤️

I feel like Min is so used to failure and getting berated for being a bad student/kid that she closes herself off and just puts on this persona of being a delinquent, but she doesn’t really want to be that, not really. The way she acts with Diya, Jun, and Akarsha leads me to believe otherwise. Brianna has said she’s “a bro at heart” if you’re nice to her and people... aren’t. She isn’t used to people being immediately nice to her so she acts mean to make people steer clear of her, she puts on this persona so that people already know what to expect of her before they even talk to her (Brianna has said she dresses the way she does on purpose, to intimidate people). She doesn’t want to get hurt by people not liking the way she really is so she makes it really obvious as to not get rejected. This is all just a long-winded way of me saying she has RSD. Plus the fact that Min “feels like Jun is betraying her” when he sides with their parents instead of her? The way she got extremely defensive when Noelle was berating her for failing her math test? The scene where she tries to denounce her and Noelle’s rivalry and Noelle immediately turns her down and Min gets all defensive and takes it back? Yeah

As someone with ADHD, I get like. Angry, like really angry. I know Min gets angry because of the way she was raised but I think she does because of her ADHD as well, she really just... can’t help it. You know that scene where her, Hayden, and Jun are at McDonalds after Min threw her and Jun’s GameBoy out the car and then Hayden asks her “why are you so angry all the time?... Just like, calm down. Try not getting angry” And she gets defensive and says “I AM trying” And after he keeps insisting she was in the wrong she kinda like, shuts down because he just Doesn’t Get It? Yeah

I also feel her defiance to doing school work stems from executive dysfunction, she just doesn’t Know that and just really Can’t do homework, she Can’t study. No one in her life really Gets it (but I like to think that changes when she finds Diya again and becomes friends with Akarsha)

Also! I am most likely over analyzing this (which I am with all of this but shhh) but I have reason to believe she had a hyperfixation on cars as a kid. Her whole thing with Hot Wheels and her comment about “driving you around in my Corvette” to Diya at their dog park date as kids, it just feels like a hyperfixation to me

And then Brianna has also said Min Tried learning guitar but “didn’t have the patience for it” which is extremely relatable. Not being able to learn how to play instruments because it’s just So Much work and memorization is a big problem for me because of my ADHD and just. Yes. She has ADHD ok

She’s very hyperactive in general, there’s a scene where she’s bouncing her leg up and down and Noelle tells her to stop. That’s ADHD man it just. Is man

And finally, Akarsha has ADHD as well and the fact that it isn’t canon confuses me!!!

The way Brianna describes the way she feels about her parents SCREAMS RSD to me. How heavily it weighs on her that her parents have these extremely high expectations of her and expect her to be something she isn’t? She sees it as an attack and shuts down when faced with any questions about her future (ie the auditorium scene)

I feel like her situation is similar to Min’s in which she puts on a class-clown, jokey persona so people can’t be mad at who she Really is. And she doesn’t joke around when it comes to serious things like when Noelle was sick to the point of nearly fainting and Diya coming out, she is just making jokes so people don’t take her as seriously as her parents. It’s RSD it just. Is

There’s also the thing with her overthinking (again auditorium scene). If this isn’t a burnout gifted kid I don’t know what is

Then there’s the thing where she cheats on tests which makes me think she has executive dysfunction and can’t study but she still wants to pass

And she 1000000% gets hyperfixations!! Mostly on anime and video games and stuff, Ace Attorney would likely be a big one

She’s also very hyperactive, if this isn’t two kids with ADHD idk what is

And that’s it!! There is most likely things I’m missing but this is the majority of everything I wanted to point out. Again I’m mostly just pointing out things I see in myself. These are simply the most neurodivergent kids I have EVER seen and the fact that it’s not canon is really crazy to me???

[fancyfade]

cass cain?

10/10 cass is one of my top favorite DC characters.

First of all she just kicks ass that's always cool. but anyway getting into who she is as a character:

Cass is very interesting to me because she was raised to be an assassin, raised as a weapon, and when she killed someone she instantly figured out it was wrong and just.... left. like she spends the next 10 years torturing herself over it which is tragic and she doesn't deserve it so i'm not saying it was a good thing for her... but it shows who she is as a character. Cass starts out believing that EVERYONE's life matters but her own. She stands in the way of bullets of guys who are shooting at her (so she doesn't move and they hit each other) just because she can't stand the idea of someone else dying.

and then

she gets to deal with it. she's never like "normal" or like it never happened, but she actually gets to heal and realize that she does matter and she doesn't need to die and there we can see her reaching out to help other people in the same situation (tricking Alpha into finding the bomb and then trying to convince him to change, talking him into helping her disarm the bomb, and trusting him enough to let him go when he does -- you can argue whether it was a good decision or not re: letting him go but the important thing is you can see how much she believes in people -- AFTER they've proven they're willing to take the hand she offers them and change it's not like she's like to joker "Oh totes go ahead and leave arkham". Alpha had to help undo what he did for her to let him go)

(also something a lot of people leave out: can we admit how fucking smart cass has to be for the way she tricks alpha into going through the steps to show her the bomb? for when she finds out what bruce and the others want in no man's land without being able to communciate them and still help? comics themselves are guilty of ignoring cass's detecitve skills and cunning especially after the writers change but she DOES demonstrate it)

anyway there's also the fact that she has such a big heart but isn't read as like "conventionally" social because she has very little social framework to work on. like she just goes and does her own thing she doesn't make small talk, she'll come and go as she pleases

also cannot forget: she is so fucking obviously autistic. thank you