#you can't know that...
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Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.
#the ship overall is C to A tier#but it's things like THIS that push it up toward the A#titan ae#titan a.e.#cale#akima#it just...#starts with them chilling together being comfortable in each other's space#that would be enough that's a point there#then she goes and HANDS HIM THE SANDWICH SHE'S EATING#sharing their food#that's another one#and she does it because his hands are busy so he can't feed himself#so that's a third point#and she does it WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIM which is a FOURTH point#and he bites into it without request or invitation so that's a FIFTH point#and then he TAKES THE WHOLE SANDWICH AND GULPS IT DOWN LIKE A LIZARD#which is a SIXTH point#and jumps it up to SEVEN because she pulls her fingers free and finally looks at him and yells at him#IT'S A SEVEN-POINT ROMANCE COMBO#do you know how utterly rare those are?#those are generally earned through KISS scenes where the hands move and the heads touch and maybe there's a spin#they achieved a seven-point romance combo by SHARING A SANDWICH#fixing machines and sharing lunch URRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH
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#i don't believe that people for serious reasons sort their books any way but by author#and then obviously by release date/series within that#i am being told that i am being JUDGY#also if you sort your books any other way HOW DO YOU FIND THEM#i really need to know#polls#can't believe i forgot to include genre in here
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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The tech guy in movies
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#gravity falls#stan pines#stanford pines#stanley pines#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#ford pines#Some notes: I don't think Stanford swears before getting thrown into the portal.#And then in the multiverse he was introduced to a multitude of different curse words and started cursing left and right LOL#When he came back#due to proximity with family he stopped cursing for the most part#but then one time on the Stan o War when he was really really stressed ... This happened HEODNAK#Ford stubbing his toe near the kids (now teens): FFFFFFUUUUiiiddleford Mcgucket . My pal from college.#Haha yes that was what I was going to say definitelyDipper: it's okay Grunkle Ford we know the fuck word#Mabel: (dramatic gasp) dipper you can't say that!!!!!!!!!
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"--need to go--" kiss "--just for a minute, let me--" kiss "--go to the bathroom, I--" kiss "--god, you're a menace, I'll lift you onto this counter, and you'll stay there until I get back--" giggle, kiss.
You whispered filthy whispers against Kento's lips, playfully dragging him back to you by the collar each time he tried to release himself.
Half-huff, and half-kiss, he grumbled and spun you around as you laughed, gripping your hands behind your back and pressing you forwards against the counter.
"--unhand me, wife, or I'll tie you up--"
"--don't threaten me with a good time, Kento--"
"--truly-- truly incorrigible woman--"
You laughed again, arching back against him, and pressing his cock into the crease of your barely-covered arse until he moaned; in annoyance, or lust? You weren't sure. Perhaps both. You had the bit between your teeth.
Kento wouldn't put up with your shenanigans for much longer. He slapped your arse, jiggling it with a growl, and dashed past your swiping hands to the bathroom. You whined, then sighed to the sound of his victory chuckle, the bathroom door clicking closed behind him.
Silence-- for 30 seconds. A minute. Two minutes. Three. You called out, smirking.
"Doesn't take that long to pee, Ken--"
The bathroom door clicked open. A low, mulish grumble sounded from within.
"I...can't go."
You frowned, stifling a laugh. "What?"
"I can't go. I'm too hard. I...can't pee."
Bursting out into laughter was your downfall, and it broke down into panicked squeals as Kento stomped out of the bathroom after you, his lap tightly tented over his cock.
He tossed you onto the sofa, dragging you back by the legs when you tried to wriggle and escape, and pinning you beneath him with nuzzled growls to your throat.
"--thorn in my side-- too erect to piss, and other problems my wife causes--"
"--oh, no, whatever can we do to fix this--"
"--you're talking too much and wearing too many clothes, as usual-- come back here-- certainly one thing we can do to fix this, madam--"
#pseudowho#kento nanami#haitch#jjk#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x y/n#nanami fanart#nanami#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami smut#nanami x y/n#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanamin#husband nanami#In case you didn't know#Can't pee when you've got an erection apparently
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oh they super understood the assignment this time holy shit
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#falin touden#i know this is supposed to be super scary and it IS#but also oooh ma'am are you free on thursday jesus christ#i can't get enough of seeing her angry and violent and not at all pleasant#perhaps this is the first time that face has ever made those expressions#dungeon meshi episode 17 spoilers
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being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind
#you go upstairs to hear the news talk about the death toll hitting 100k. you get some frozen waffles bc its all you've got stocked up#and you wont risk going to get groceries or takeout. you go back downstairs because you have a 3 page essay due.#you stare at your word doc with lofi playing and wonder why you can't just buckle down and work like normal.#or really. you pretend to wonder#because you know the reason you cant work like normal#you just refuse to allow yourself to believe its reason enough#mine#academia#covid mention
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just saw a really stupid post on tumblr where someone showed the prices of vegetables in china and how, when converted to US dollars, only costs a couple of cents, and the post was like, "ugh why must us americans suffer such high prices when the rest of the world doesn't !!!" and it's like. you are aware that you come from a country with an extremely strong currency, yes ? and that, just bc a loaf of bread costs R20 (or 1.06 USD) here in south africa, that doesn't make it affordable to the average working class south african, just bc it seems cheap to you, yes ? u are aware that many ppl around the world make wayyyyy less than even the minimum wage american, yes ? that, even though you may be struggling financially in ur country, ur dollar still has significant power over the majority of the currencies around the world. yes ?
#cacophony of kaliya#“but kaliyaaaaa :•(((#us americans haven't been taught anything about other countries bc of propagandaaaaa :•((( you can't expect us to know how the world works!#have u considered that maybe ur just a little bit uh. not that smart#lol.
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Laios cuts the tags outta his clothes like an autistic king confirmed
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#good for him and 100% recommended for anyone who hasn't done it yet#they're itchy!! it's 2024 we can't be having constant itchy neck or worse the ones in the side seam#or that one type of underwear tag that's super long and flips up super easy and then you just have a weird tag tail sticking out in the back#laios knows what's up
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Kirk was a real one for this
#this is me when ppl don't like trek#iykyk#and if you don't know I can't help you#but trust me love wins#trek#tos#star trek#kirk#uss enterprise#she is a beautiful lady#and i do love her
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when you're a shapeshifter i bet letting yourself slowly fall off a rooftop only to turn into a bird and fly away feels soooo good
#body dysmorphia but for like. animals#anyone else pissed they can't transform? no? just me?#animorphs#shapeshifter#druid#you know the exact kind of movement
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forgive and forget? wrong. charged two-handed heavy attack with my greatsword of resentment
#the shit i'm being put through at the moment is absolutely insane#can't make it up#but I finally get the chance to be righteously resentful.#you never know how easy it is to get gaslit until you've been there#shut up lea
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Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.
#this post is edited because you're all annoying. maybe I'll turn it back someday#it sucks that people can't even be normal about a funny family story once the fact that we're greek comes into the fold#suddenly its all about blorbofied mythology shit and idiots saying ''GREECE IS REAL???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯'' yeah percy j*ckson didnt make it up#maybe it would be less annoying if they weren't all saying it like I'd think it's funny that they don't know we exist instead of like#disturbing on a personal level. like what the fuck#man if you can't acknowledge we exist in real life just name your oc Icarus something else idgaf#so yeah explode. Skase. Voulos'to. Valto mesa sto katamalakismeno mouni tis mana's sou. Psophise. etc.
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what is it about the least canon-compliant aromantic headcanons that makes them the best. like when a character shows no romantic attraction okay that is pretty awesome. but when romance is a big part of a character/plot? oh now we're fucking cooking
#i mean i know why. its the overcompensating and not knowing and trying to do what you think you're supposed to#but for some reason none of it feels right. and maybe deep down you have an idea but you can't admit that. you can't accept that
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something silly for season 3 bc i've been told my art was too on the writer's wall
#and it inspired me#thank you for those who let me know!! its so cool and nice of them#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv lestat#lestat de lioncourt#daniel molloy#iwtv daniel#can't wait for the new season
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