#you can't just go into a stranger's DMs and beg for their help

[thelastspeecher]

all right that's it I'm closing my inbox for now.

[sheepwavehdg]

[Nonfiction/serious, CW recount of online sexual harassment] So, holy fuck. Last night someone developed an introject/fictive of one of my characters, Sally Fable from Good Sensory. It went poorly.

This person was barely more than a total stranger to me and had been sending me some just plain nonsensical DMs on discord, so I just muted them for 24 hours because I didn't care or feel like dealing with it. I was about to be enjoying some Substances™, and I just told them I wasn't gonna be avaliable.

Fast forward a few hours later and my very pleasant high is interrupted by the notification that someone is calling me on discord. I tab over, and discover hundreds of messages calling me mistress, begging me to punish them, sending me partially nude photos, asking for reassurances that because they're Sally Fable, I wrote Good Sensory for them too (more on that in a moment)

I block them as soon as I understand what's happening, and then I think I started getting notifications of them pinging me on the HDG discord, bypassing the block via pluralkit(???) so I left the discord (I am unsure of this and can't find any supporting evidence of it now that Ive rejoined, I was high and confused, but it's what I thought was happening in the moment anyway which is why I left) and got to have the lovely experience of learning how much worse a panic attack hurts when you're high and every sensation has "reverb" on your body.

This felt so particularly violating because Sally is not some character I made up whole cloth, her personality and appearance is specifically modeled on two of my partners. This is not a secret, it's in the chapter notes. I know this person read those, because some of the hundreds of messages they sent me referenced it and asked if this meant I wrote it for them too.

I made the discord staff aware of what was going on and they did a great job of both handling the situation on the server and lots of them reaching out to me and making me feel like I wasn't alone and they had my back, which meant more in that moment than I can even put into words. 😭

Anyway, I just woke up a few hours ago from a nightmare where this person sent me a suicide note via the comments on Good Sensory, which unfortunately is well within the reasonable possibility space of a thing that happens when someone fixates on you and you block them and they are banned from their community. (I have had stalkers in the past! Yay!)

So yeah I was very much not calm to see this when I woke up

I got a friend to check over the comments before I looked, and fortunately it was just normal comments. I've been absolutely blown away by the reaction to Good Sensory in particular, and I love reading peoples comments. That I was made to feel scared of something that would normally make me flap my hands in joy (sixteen new comments overnight is not unheard of for me, but it's still not typical) feels so shitty.

I also feel horribly guilty even tho I know it's irrational for me to feel anything but violated by this having happened. Like there's a reason I identify with the affini, I can't see someone in distress and not want to help. I feel bad that what I assume was a vulnerable trans woman clearly in some kind of psychosis state is going to have to wake up from it and find out they blew up their own social life yesterday.

But yeah, god, fuck, what a thing that happened. I had to write this just to proscess this experience. It doesn't feel like it was real but like it was. I'm going to be shaken by this for a bit most likely 😓

[shadowwolfmemes]

Don't fall for these scams and do not ask me for money.

Yeah, okay. Falsely guilt tripping while begging for a donation is a one way ticket of you getting blocked. I'm sorry that you're going through hard times, but this method you're using isn't helping your case whatsoever. Do not paint me as the villain, I don't appreciate that and won't tolerate such disrespect like that.

That's not helping either. Like I said before, it is rude to falsely guilt trip someone because you're making it sound like I'm completely at fault for not being able to donate to you. Therefore, my response was completely reasonable.

"I'm not a beggar-" Yeah, uh-huh. Exactly what an online beggar would say.

People like this are way too desperate, they would go far enough to go into my DM's and tell me how horrible of a person I am for not responding quicker. Well, SORRY for being busy in a strict SCHOOL that doesn't allow me to access my phone before after hours! DO NOT GET PISSY AT ME BECAUSE I GOT OTHER THINGS TO BE WORRYING ABOUT OUTSIDE OF THE SCREEN BECAUSE GUESS WHAT! I'M NOT SOME JOBLESS GROWN ASS BLOKE WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO. I'M A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT!

You might be suffering more than me, your situation might be worse than mine, but that doesn't give you the excuse to purposely overstep my boundaries to yell at me and shame me because you want to be prioritized by a stranger whom you never met in real life!

I can't always answer your questions in a flash because I have a life outside the screen, believe it or not. I don't always the time to remain online! But to demand that I answer right away is fucking rude and will only drive others away when you do that! So of course, I'm gonna be rude and be snappy about it.

If you're gonna ask other people to donate to you on this website, you should promote that on your own page and use the tags to draw others in so they can support you. That's what the tagging system is for, people!

As for me, even with a bank account, I can't do much for you because I don't have a job yet. Even when I do get one in the near future, I'm not giving people like these a single penny because I don't give in to guilt trips like that.

I don't hate Palestinians and I don't generally hate those who ask for donations, I just don't like it when they push it onto others and shame them for not giving them money right away.

I'm a real person, too. Not some money spitting machine on the internet. Boundaries exist for a reason, even online!

For now on, do not ask me for money. I'm not a donation blog. You can promote your Go-Fund Me on your own page as much as you want, I don't care, but I'm letting everyone know that Tumblr is NOT a donating website! Let this be the last time I make a post ranting about donations.

[baldurs-gape]

Oh gosh, this is the shores nonnie from earlier and I am so grateful for your response! I didn’t have the best night so I am just so happy you are so kind😭❤️

My dear Shores Nonnie, I am so sorry to hear you've not had the best night. While I may simply be a stranger over the internet, please know that my DMs are always open if you need a willing ear to talk to. I can't promise to have any magical solutions but I make up for that in ample pet pictures (cats, dogs and various snakes are currently on offer), memes and stories of being a smidge of a disaster of a human being should you ever need a distraction.

Given that you've had a rought night, I've not had a great day myself, I can do but one thing. We give Astarion a not so great time, how about it?

(CW: this turned out a little more grim than intended. Glossed over torture, rape and just general Astarion having a bad time at the hands of Godey and other spawn before the others show up.)

One of Many

When Astarion was snatched by his so called siblings in the night, the rest of the party was up in arms. That was their vampire spawn now and they were going to retrieve him, thank you very much. Finders keepers and all that. Brave words which were so easy to speak yet acting on them was harder. Going during the night didn't seem the best of ideas so they waited until morning when light would offer them protection should they need to run, but if they did then they'd make sure they had Astarion in tow.

Getting into the stronghold was surprisingly easy. Finding Cazador was too. Between Karlach, Gale, Halsin and Jaheira they made a damn good attempt at ending his tyranny. The only problem was when the despicable worm turned and fled, they couldn't find him. Searching the palace led them from room to room. It was Jaheira who spotted the concealed door. Walking through it was about was good as walking into a nightmare. The whole room had Silence cast on it which explained why nobody could hear anything outside. But inside that bubble was filled with screams and begging in an all too familiar voice.

A skeleton was looming over the table where Astarion was pinned. No, he was nailed down while three other spawn stood around, watching impassively. As the skeleton moved, it revealed pools of blood on the floor along with pale lumps that were best not looked at too closely because they looked like flesh.

"Please. Please. I'm sorry." Astarion's voice was breaking, hoarse, he'd been crying and begging for a while. "Not again. I'll be good. I can be good."

His words turned into a scream that died down into a whimper and wet, bubbling gasps. Karlach charged.

Their second fight was short and brutal, much more satisfying than against Cazador. The spawn and the skeleton fell under their blades and magic with speed until it was just the five of them left in the cold, blood stained room. Approaching the table, Halsin was already preparing a healing spell while Gale rifled through his scrolls in case he had something he could help with. Meanwhile, Karlach tried to be as gentle as possible pulling the nails out of pale flesh. She and and Jaheira shared a glance over the table as Astarion lay motionless, eyes squeezed shut and teeth dug into bloodied lips to stay quiet.

"We've got you, Fangs," Karlach murmured softly and stroked through his hair. The hiss of sympathy was impossible to stop as she saw Astarion's ears, or rather, what had been left of them. She gagged and a hand touched the tips of her own as the slices of flesh under the table made sense. They hadn't simply been hacked off but rather taken sliver by agonising sliver.

As Halsin poured his healing magic into Astarion, Gale tipped a potion bottle against lips which were slow to respond. However, within three minutes Astarion was looking much like his old self as he swung himself upright and hopped off the table.

"Well?" He asked as he walked to the table with a pile of bloodied and shredded clothes. "Is he dead?"

"The coward ran," Jaheira said.

Astarion's eyes snapped up at them full of rage even as he shimmied into ripped trousers, uncaring of the blood and other fluids that still coated his inner thighs.

"So why the fuck are you here? What use are you? You should have gone after him and killed him!"

Walking closer, Gale tried to reach out but got violently shrugged off with a loud "Don't touch me!" Astarion's rage didn't end there though. "Useless, that's what you are. Wasting your time playing heroes while the monster is still at large. And you dare call yourselves my friends and lovers. Pathetic."

Hearing him fume rather than be grateful for the rescue was actually hurtful and infuriating. Gale stepped back, arms crossed over his chest and scowling.

"So we shouldn't have bothered coming to save you."

A large hand squeezed his shoulder and Halsin looked between his two partners.

"Perhaps we could all go back to camp and take a rest. I think we need it."

All through the trip, Astarion didn't say anything, strode out front of the group as he walked to the dock they'd set up camp in. Without word he marched into his tent and let the flap close behind him. It was probably less dramatic than he'd wanted.

Nobody saw him for the rest of the evening. Halsin cast wishful glances at the tent as he wrapped an arm around Gale but they left Astarion to his own devices. Whatever he was working through, he needed the space. One by one, the whole camp retired, Jaheira and Karlach were the last to go, staying up late as Karlach sought comfort from her hero after seeing her friend so mutilated.

Quiet settled around camp but Gale couldn't sleep. Even as he was snugly enveloped in Halsin's arms, he missed the chill from his other side where Astarion usually pressed in. Sleep continued to elude him until he couldn't keep still. Determined to go to Astarion's tent, he slipped out from Halsin's embrace and stood with a groan. Stepping out of the tent, he spotted a lone figure, sitting at the edge of the dock. Of course it was Astarion.

Sneaking had never been Gale's forte and he wasn't looking to take Astarion off guard. Instead, he padded softly towards him and stood, a little awkward until Astarion craned his neck to look up at him.

"Yes?" How he managed to sound bored was rather impressive.

"Did you really mean it?"

Rather than reply, Astarion went back to staring out at the sea. Taking his silence as confirmation, Gale turned to leave which was the exact moment he spoke up.

"Do you know how many times I've seen these stars?"

Halting, Gale looked over his shoulder. He wasn't quite sure what the crux of the conversation was and, truth be told, didn't know whether he could bring himself to care in that moment. It didn't seem to bother Astarion.

"Thousands of times. And they never change. It's why he liked calling me Star, to remind me that nothing about me will change either." There was no question about who the 'he' in the situation was. "He could do anything he wanted to me. But the end was always the same. I lived. I healed. I screamed again the next night. It never changed."

Retracing his steps, Gale stood next to Astarion and wondered whether he was welcome to sit. If he was honest with himself, he wanted to be there, to comfort Astarion if he was allowed to.

Eyes firmly on the water, Astarion continued, "It was the same thing all over again. Except rather than Godey shoving a fetid rat at me, it was you pouring potion down my throat. It burend just the same. I'm whole again. Only for it all to happen again. If not at his hands then in a fight or a random accident." Eyes finally turned to look up at Gale. "I'm so tired. I don't want to heal anymore. Don't want to get up again just to be broken by others."

Invitation be damned, Gale crouched down to pull Astarion against him in a tight hug. He could just about hear his words, muffled as they were in his sleep shirt.

"People look at me and think I'm okay. That I'm unbroken. I'm a blank canvas for them to etch their pain into with their blunt knives. Break pieces off because they'll grow back with a potion and a murmur of a spell. Today was just one day of many. It wasn't even the worst yet Karlach looks at me like her world's been crushed. Even though I'm the one who felt every broken bone and ripped flesh."

Gale rubbed his hand over Astarion's back and wished he could say something, anything to make it better. But there was nothing. They gave him the potions, healed him because they wanted him back. The few times Gale had needed help picking himself up off the floor after a fight, he'd been grateful for it. Listening to Astarion though, he wondered just how much of a betrayal it was, to have healed his body but there was nothing they could do for the mind and the memories that plagued it. Pulling him closer, holding him tighter, Gale was left with so many wishes yet not even a whisper of suggestion for a solution.

[skibasyndrome]

Hey Simooon 💜,

♡ SMALL THINGS: pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite minor detail from it!

For Lavender Haze/all this shit

♬ THEME SONG: pick a fic and I’ll share a song that reminds me of it (and why!)

You crave the applause yet hate the attention

Kyss mig med dina röder läppar and/or

Lavender Haze/all this shit (just feel free to pick one or any she/her Wille coded song)

⇆ SLIDING DOORS: pick a character from one fic to drop into another!

I'd love some Aylin somewhere

↻ FLIP FLOP: send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!

maybe some Lavender haze from Simon's or Maddie's pov

I know I sent in quite a few just feel free to pick the ones you wanna answer and leave the rest

Heyyyyy, Sophia!!!!! Thank you so much for this lovely ask! 💜💜💜

♡ SMALL THINGS: pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite minor detail from it! (For Lavender Haze)

When they exchange shirts at the end 😭😭😭 that was one of the many little ideas that surprised me while I was writing it and I was like!!!!! Omg!!!!!! Mutual "i'm taking your shirt home with me" moment!!!!!!! Promise of "we'll meet again"!!!!!!!

♬ THEME SONG: pick a fic and I’ll share a song that reminds me of it (and why!)

(okay, full disclaimer: I never really choose songs for my fics, unless they're already based on one, just because I never really find one that fits? but I'll try my best, haha)

For You crave the Applause / Yet hate the Attention:

Is it a cop-out if I say Achilles Come Down?? I really can't think of anything else and the line I used for the title quite literally inspired the whole fic (in the sense that I went.... wait..... Wille doesn't like when the attention is on him but he relishes in the kind things Simon has to say to him??? that's my anxious praise-kink-haver Wille)

For Kyss mig med dina röda läppar:

Okay, based on nothing but the fact that I had to come up with something right now? Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face is THE song for like... childhood nostalgia to me? And just because to me there are elements of nostalgia in the whole childhood best friends set-up? That song maybe? Also, just cinematically, please imagine the crescendo of "Welcome home" playing as they finally kiss. You're welcome <3

Lavender Haze/all this shit (just feel free to pick one or any she/her Wille coded song)

I........ I truly got nothing 😭😭😭 I'm so sorry but I am HORRID at coming up with songs for fic vibes

⇆ SLIDING DOORS: pick a character from one fic to drop into another!

Since you mentioned Aylin, my beloved, from Lavender Haze/All this shit.... hmmmm.... I was thinking that she could easily be sitting my Felice's side in Flash The Camera, You're A Star! and helping her search for the mysterious man that made Wille lose his mind (and almost lose his interneship </3)

↻ FLIP FLOP: send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!

I'm going with Lavender Haze Simon in this one and (because I begged you to choose a scene in the DMs dkagfdkjg thank you <3) I'm writing a part of the scene where they first talk <3 (this is unedited and all I have in me today so bear with me)

Simon takes a deep breath. This is it, he thinks, squaring his shoulders a bit while he stares at the stranger's back. And what a back it is... A small voice in the back of his mind is telling him to turn back around and give the guy some space. Maybe he hadn't meant to stare Simon down the way he did, maybe it's all just a big misunderstanding, but Simon knows that he would regret not trying more than getting rejected. Even though he hopes that rejection is not where this is heading. When the stranger finally turns around, a bottle of coke in his hand, Simon feels his pulse hammering inside of his head. Because, okay, he knew the guy looked pretty, but this is- "Hej," Simon tries, because someone has to say something, right? And that does seem to work, because finally, finally the man in front of him lets a smile tug up the corners of his mouth. "Hi," he replies, and Simon can feel his own smile widen because, yeah. Yeah, this guy is really, really cute from up close. A beautiful dusting of freckles on his high cheekbones, dark eyes that are again and still trained on Simon and when he lifts a hand up towards his hair Simon thinks he desperately wants that one on him until. Oh fuck. No. No, no, no, this surely must be a joke. That movement rings a bell, it definitely rings a bell and the bell won't stop ringing because... No. No way in fucking hell did Simon end up trying to to talk to the fucking prince of all people. "Vänta!," the prince yells, and it's only then that Simon realizes that he stepped back. Despite the shock, the little outburst makes an incredulous smile reappear on his face. This is not the way the guy acts in those boring little TV appearances Simon sometimes sees him in. “I’m Wilhelm, uh… Wille, I mean…,” he adds, a little quieter and maybe it's the light, but Simon thinks that he might just be blushing. “You can call me Wille.” This is not what Simon thought was going to happen if he went to talk to the guy, not at all and maybe it's the whiplash Simon just experience, but this is... almost endearingly awkward. “Wille, huh?” he asks, because... he's pretty sure he should be his-majesty-ing the guy. Not that he'd do it, he just assumes that might be the expectation. But those big eyes are unfairly charming. And Simon feels stupid, reckless, absolutely fucking out of his mind, but he steps closer. Because something about him, something about the way this pretty, pretty man is looking at him... Maybe Simon gets to make some bad decisions sometimes. “Well, hello Wille , I’m Simon,”

Ask me questions about my fics if you feel like it! <3 here or here

[slenbee]

Pause - Real talk for a second.

Okay so if you've been following me for any amount of time in the past 5 months you'll know that I've been dealing a lot with scammers.

Calling them out, making posts, starting a side blog, ect.

Right now I want to talk about something else.

But let me be 100% clear before I even start:

I know that what has happened to the Palestinian people in Gaza is a tragedy and I am not downplaying it in any sense or form. I know a lot of good people have been effected and many lives have been lost. I am not going to de-legitimize the story of anyone here on tumblr who shares a gofundme seeking aid.

I am not calling these stories fake.

I am not calling these people scammers.

That is not what this post is about.

This post is about what's happening when some of these people who are looking for aid are being told things like 'sorry I can't donate'.

----

Let me tell you my negative experience with this.

It started with me responding to an ask from someone looking to have their gofundme shared. I responded simply saying that I couldn't donate money. That I'd share the post so my followers would see it. Seems fair enough, right?

But then this person came into my DM's, and I was asked why I said couldn't donate money. Surely I had some to 'spare', right? I was American! I explained that I was in no position to do so. But again, I was still asked to spare $50, that it was urgent. I told them I just couldn't, I just didn't have it. They replied: even $20 would feed their family for a long time. Please you have to have it. I said I'm really sorry, I don't have that either.

And that's when things took a very abrupt turn.

From what i can remember- it's been like 2 months mind you:

He basically told me that, I was going to be the one responsible for him and his family's death if I didn't donate. That I was a deplorable human being for condemning him and his family to such a fate. That they were going to starve and freeze in the upcoming winter. That he hoped I..

And at that point stopped reading and I was.. honestly too shocked that I just... blocked and deleted the DM.

And while this story of mine might seem like it's too outrageous to be true, I'm not the only one receiving responses like this.

(images provided by anonymous)

And here's another instance of this can be seen in the DM's sent to this user as seen in this post:

Note: Again, -I- am not calling them scammers, my views do not reflect those as seen in the post above. I am merely showing the screenshots as examples.

-----

This brings me to my next point.

Saying stuff like this to people? To complete strangers?

Who you are supposedly trying to look to, for help?

Is not okay at all.

Talking to someone and asking- if not begging- them for help, and then when they say 'sorry I can't or 'no?'', you immediately (excuse my language) flip the fuck out on them and start straight up start guilt tripping them? That is extremely disgusting behavior.

And the worst part about it? Honestly? Is that it's working.

And people know it's working, and that's why other people like scammers have started to do it more often too.

Again: Let me make myself very clear.

I am not, in any way, downplaying or saying that anyone's story is any less tragic or less important than someone else's. I am not saying anyone is lying or that they are scammers.

But coming coming into someones DM's and threatening them.

Guilt tripping them and trying to manipulate them.

Just because someone told you no?

Will not, nor ever will be, okay.

----

If this has happened to you, please don't let yourself fall victim to stuff like this. I know you might feel pressured into giving these people money, but please remember that they send these asks/DM's to dozens if not hundreds of people a day. They will get the money to survive.

If you are in a tight spot and absolutely cannot donate, please make sure you think of yourself, your livelihood and your health first and foremost.

Share and signal boost the best you can, but do not let someone try to guilt and manipulate you into giving away something that might put you into a bad financial situation you might not be able to properly get out of.

You're not a bad person if you block and delete.

Just remember that.

Scam Index (@scam-alerts) Useful guides to spotting scams (by @kyra45) A guide about scammers pretending to be Palestinian.

[punkgears]

— yo, yo, yo ! if you don't shut your mouth... i'ma shut it for you, PUNK !

DNI if: overall basic dni boundaries (transphobic, homophobic, racist, proshipper), toxic, weird in general, hate towards ocs or oc x canon content, underage *(for a specific reason i'll say down below), etc.

pls do not repost my art without credits, deem them as yours or use them for commercial purposes. you can like... use them as profile themes or even RPs, just... ask first, please. ty <33

greetings, dearest individual that has clicked on this profile! PLEASE, READ THIS RIGHT NOW BEFORE INTERACTING.

my name is kira, or kris. as you may have noticed, i am an occasional artist that will post once in a while, when remembering to. that being said, i also happen to write from time to time, although i think most likely i won't post my works here. the reason? i mostly write on RPs (out of this app) and personal works, not finding my writing that amusing at all. in fact, i am rather insecure on it. but, hey! a sometimes is not a never.

(important additions:)

nsfw also means potentially triggering topics, so here we go: my art or works may sometimes hold sensitive details from alcoholism to trauma and such. be cautious and watch your step, because this might even count as a "dead dove: do not eat" warning - even though i'll mostly not post such things?

my profile is rated as [n]sfw for a reason: i will post things with suggestive writing or a "wacky" vocabulary, such as curse words and such, but never actual 18+ works. i am highly uncertain if that still rates me "minor-friendly", so be highly aware. that being said, will also generally avoid reblogging adult works — if that boundary changes, i'll clearly alert you on a post.

[!] knowing i had previously written this, i have come to update on the matter and say that this profile is prone to nearly any sort of content. i apologize. if you are a minor, please, unfollow me and I BEG YOU to dm me so i can unfollow you back. i have quite the bad brain for things like this and i don't tend to have a rhytm with this app.

anyways, have a few things about my profile!

a few personal info:

- 18 years old;

- he/they/it;

- trans-masc;

- brazilian;

- infj 4w5 - melancholic/sanguine.

i [might] draw and talk about...

- gachiakuta, jujutsu kaisen, dragon ball, adventure time, oyasumi punpun (no comments), hollow knight, hunter x hunter, fear & hunger (yeah, now you get the gist of the whole nsfw thing.), the boys (THAT TOO), cuphead, brawl stars, stranger things, studio ghibli in general, death note, rain world, beastars, demon slayer, breaking bad, mr. robot, one piece, jojo's bizarre adventure, gravity falls && much more.

be aware that i... (fun facts, or not):

- cuss. A LOT.

- may get too overfixated on a certain topic or character for a REALLY long time. that may grow annoying, but it depends on you... please don't judge me for it, i can't help myself.

- i am severely shy AND introvert. however, i do not bite!

- i will most likely draw and talk about oc x canon. yeah.

[stopfeelinginvisible]

hi. i go by louis (loo-ee) or saint (subject to change) , but if you're cool enough i might tell you my real name. i'm 20, he/him or nyx/nyxself. i'm transmasc and genderfluid. considering using this blog to help pay for hrt in the future but as of now it's just for funsies. bonus points if you know where my blog name/title are from.

my venmo is @\stopfeelinginvisible (vampire supreme) if you wanna send me a treat <3

here are some non-sexual things i enjoy: interview with the vampire, x-men, marvel, fantasy, music (lots of music! currently listening to a lot of deftones, hozier, slipknot, johnny goth, godsmack, halsey), knitting and crocheting, 100% gaming videos, cooking, the boys, stranger things, lisa frankenstein, horror movies

18+ only. ageless blogs/minors will be blocked. everyone is allowed here, but i prioritize trans people as i feel the most safe with y'all! (and you're the hottest) psa to straight people: if you think i'm hot, you're not straight. psa to straight men: please stop sending me your dick. i don't want to see it. i also don't want you to top me in tumblr dms. especially if your blog is blank. got it?

important info + things i'm into under the cut

more about me: i am autistic, i tend to talk too much but i'm working on it. i may go through periods of being completely inactive without warning as i am on the ace spectrum and i need a break sometimes. i'm not currently in a sexual relationship but i'm not too keen on starting any online ones at the moment. i always encourage friends though.

boundaries: feel free to send asks and dms. i am not obligated to reply to you. do not send photos of your genitals without asking. other body parts are fine.

all of these rules apply to MY blog. i don't care what you do on yours, or what anyone else is doing on theirs.

what can you call me? : tits, chest, cunt, pussy, cock. pretty much anything is fine honestly. you can call me pet, puppy, good girl/boy, thing, doll. any of these are okay with things like "good", "little", "sweet", etc. added on. do not degrade me without permission. no pet names like baby, darling, honey, etc. without permission. i am not a man, i am not a woman, and you can't change that (unless you're trans and you want to. then i'm a little more flexible)

dni rules: i don't have a strict dni list, just be a normal person and we're good. i'll block you if i need to but i am not a liberal blocker. i do not vet who i reblog from, i don't neccessarily endorse whatever they've got going on on their pages. if you frequently post about things i don't like i don't care, just do not tag my posts as such and do not expect me to follow you.

what am i into, and will talk about here? : petplay, forcemasc, knives/guns/weapons, being threatened, being owned, cowboys, vampires, intox play, t4t stuff, rough housing, being chased/tracked down, blood, breath play, begging, hands, possessiveness, masks, fictional characters i want to dick down, mommy/daddy

what am i okay with, but probably won't talk about? : somnophilia, free use, topping, snuff, anything involving spit, cnc, being fed (in a caretaking context), ddlg, fauxcest

what will i not talk about? : anal, rape, bestiality, anything involving bodily fluids aside from blood (and cum sometimes), infantilism, anything involving diapers, military stuff, detrans/misgendering

the above is subject to change!

[reveries-and-radiance]

Woke up to this really harsh comment on my post asking for help today.

People who are suffering more than me need help, people who are suffering less than me also need help.

Everyone is deserving of support in their lives, we can't survive without one another and in a lot of people's cases, they are dependent on people to even stay alive.

I don't know what this person is going through but I hope they can get the help they need too.

If you feel this strongly enough to go after someone asking for literal scraps just so that they aren't homeless, I can't imagine how your life must be like to be so full of vitriol.

I could make a post trying to validate all the reasons why I'm the most boo hoo poor person out there and that I should just be given money for nothing and that wouldn't be a bad thing.

Trying to survive and live is the only thing we as humans are entitled to as we did not ask to be born and not every circumstance we find ourselves in is completely under our control.

If I weren't struggling to even eat every month or was in a better mental and financial situation, I would help people more. I'm sad that I can't. I donate money when I'm able, I work for free and I'm doing the best that I can to contribute to the world in some meager way.

To the person above that made that dismissive comment, I'm sorry that my suffering isn't good enough for you. I'm sorry that the little artistic ability I have isn't good enough for you and I'm sorry that I'm so poor and pathetic that I have to beg strangers on the internet for money in exchange for freelance work. I'm sorry that someone like me exists and that you had the misfortune of coming across my horrid post.

To anyone that reads this, I hope you're doing well and that you aren't in a similar or worse position than I currently am. I hope that you have everything you need in your life that you're okay and I'm sorry if you aren't.

I may seem irreproachable but my dms are always open as I can only offer support in the form of listening ear or some advice.

All this being said, if you'd like to help support a struggling artist or just want me to stop posting stuff like this for good, please consider commissioning me or sending help. Everything matters, everyone's suffering matters and every person has a right to express their grievances with their situations. No one is special but everybody is important.

[biggestqiblifan]

Self-harm

Be warned, the following content has self-harm and may be upsetting. And I genuinely feel sorry for anyone reading this and finding it relatable. I hope you get through life ok.

Please understand that I'm not writing this to get attention. I have immense troubles with talking to people about my problems. I don't know why, and I just can't seem to fix it. I prefer to just hide it and pretend it doesn't exist. After all, what was the point of admitting its existence? It can't be fixed.

But today, I just feel this need to randomly rant, even though I hope no-one will see this.

Note: Please if you're @moonelight, please, I'm begging you, keep scrolling. I'm fine.

After seeing a post from @tastetherainbow290, I just wanted to let off steam.

If anyone needs to talk, I'm here. Please DM or ask me anon/yourself.

I came home one day from school and just, fell apart.

My brother was playing with a friend, so the house was empty. I was glad. I tried to pull myself together, but it barely worked. I cried silently in the hallway.

Then I heard my brother knocking on the door and it was scary, wait, TERRIFYING how fast I managed to get my shit together, and put my cheerful mask back on, in seconds I was at the door and the two of them didn't notice anything. After helping them and giving them an excuse about homework, I shut the door and went to my room.

After chucking everything onto my bed, I just lay there and tried again to calm myself. It worked. Then as I gazed into my mirror, I realized that I SHOULD cry. I never let myself cry. On instinct. But this time, I felt like I just needed to, after all, there was no-one around.

I'm such a fucking hypocrite. Its astonishing how often and easily I go against my own advice and comforts/comforting words I offer.

So, I cried. Then I began beating myself. I also contemplated suicide and wondered why my life was so fucked and miserable, and how I manage to put on a smile everyday. I just remember telling myself that I just couldn't wait for when it would end.

I've asked several people what they think of me. Every. Single. One said that I was like an unwavering ray of sunshine. Always happy and outgoing. I should've been happy that my facade was working so well, but it scared me instead. I ended up telling my seat-mate in math a secret I only admitted to myself a couple of days prior.

I told her, "you think I 'm always nice and outgoing? Always happy, outgoing, reaching, being the one to take the first step and time to be nice? Well, that's because no-one was like to me.

My past is wounded and scarred as hell. But I live with that.

Anyways, I just needed an outlet, so I went to kitchen and got my hands on the sharpest knife in reach. Since I cover my arms, no-one would know, I cut myself. Dozens of times. Then I shaved the skin on my hand, it was soon red and raw. Sometimes I still feel like I can feel the sting, before it just fades away into nothing.

I remember, every time I did it, I muttered to myself "you deserve this."

Then I remember the horrible laughter that rang from my throat. And every now and again, my mind makes me believe that I can still hear it .

Haunting me.

But really, I'm fine. My friend pointed that out one day. We were sitting in English and she'd noticed how tired I was. Then she caught me out. She said: "You always say, you're fine and that you can do this."

I can't break that habit. If I go on about my flaws, then this will turn into a book.

Sorry to anyone bothering to read this. I didn't mean to ruin your day with sad, self-deprecating sob stories.

After all, I'm just a stranger.

So my apologies, have a cat.

[anexperimentallife]

I've just got to vent.

When we were in a situation to help others, we did so nearly every chance we got, and felt guilty that we couldn't do more. We took in folks who had no other place to stay. We donated baby supplies. We gave as much money as we could spare to folks in need, whether in person or via fundraisers.

But now, WE'RE the ones in need. When we're already reduced to asking on the internet for help because we're stuck in a legal and medical nightmare overseas with our daughter, and are STILL thousands short of what we need, it takes a lot of damn gall to DM us over and over, pleading for what we don't have, when we've already explained the situation at length, and have repeatedly said we literally CANNOT spare the money.

Asking for help is fine. But no means no; not "hound me in my DMs to try to talk me into prioritizing you over my own daughter." Hell, as desperate as we are, we don't even DM people demanding help--just post and hope.

Do they think we're crowdfunding for fun? As a hobby? Do they not understand that we're desperately trying to fix our daughter's situation, and keep me alive for her?

I mean, look, I have always helped whomever I could whenever I could, but right now I CAN'T. No matter how much I sympathize with your situation, repeatedly begging me and giilt-tripping me for WEEKS to try to get me to prioritize you over my actual daughter and my needed medication after I've already said I can't help you is just going to get you blocked.

My daughter is more important to me than anyone else in the world. I won't apologize for that. And we are literally thousands short of what it's going to take to fix all of this, so we CANNOT "just send a hundred dollars or so" to every random internet stranger who thinks we should put them ahead of our daughter.

And again, this is REPEATED HOUNDING I'm talking about. People who refuse to respect that we simply can't help them right now.

Like, fuck, man, it's not that we don't WANT to help; it's that we literally CANNOT right now. And I'm amazed at the gall of people who think that even though we're still thousands short of what we need, we should hand over funds others have donated to help our daughter and to keep me alive. We are literally fighting to not be forced to abandon our daughter overseas, and are treating multiple life-threatening conditions I have now thanks to long covid.

But MULTIPLE PEOPLE seem to think I should put them ahead of my daughter and my ability to stay alive?

No. Fuck off.

(If you're new and don't know our situation, see my pinned post.)

[dreamifics]

Immature

Oneshot

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Talk of sexual activities and stuff but no smut

Y/N joined the Avengers shortly after the big fight between Tony and Steve. Stark recruited her due to Fury's orders, she used to be under control of Hydra, like Barnes.. All of the Avengers had no problem with her, only one..

''Stupid Rogers!" Y/N shriek as she stares into her bathroom mirror..

Once again, Rogers benched her, because and she quote

'She used to be just like them!'

They were supposed to raid a Hydra facility, and something snapped at Steve's brain when he saw that Y/N was going too.

Y/N sighs, she just gripped the porcelain sink and steadied herself, she was ready to kill Steve, she was so angry.. Y/N just washed her face with the cold water from the faucet, hoping that it'll help ease the anger in her blood.

She exits the bathroom and was greeted by Bucky, he was sitting in her bed.

"Hello Tinman.." Y/N gave Bucky a smile.

"I want to apologize for--"

"You don't need to apologize in behalf of Steve.. I'm cool.."

"Are you really?"

"Yepp!No word of Captain Ass can get to me.."

Bucky crossed his arms, he knew she was lying.. Y/N just awkwardly smiled at him, she walks to her bed and dived in her bed..

"You can leave now, your boyfriend's might be missing you now.."

And in queue Sam and Steve popped up in her door, Steve was furious.. His eyes were fixed to Bucky, while Sam was just smiling slyly..

"Speak of the devils.." Y/N mutters as she gave Steve a deadly glare.

Bucky stood up from her bed and gave the two men a small nod.. Steve was still looking at Bucky but it soon averted to Y/N, she just raised her eyebrow at him.

"Have a fun mission, you two.."

"Will do, Y/N" Sam answered and gave Y/N a smile which she gladly gave back.

"Oh, Bucky!Pouvez-vous s'il vous plaît pousser le capitaine hors de l'avion pour moi?" Y/N spoke in french knowing that Bucky will understand.

Can you please push Captain out of the plane for me?

Bucky just laughs and shakes his head as Sam grabs him and drag him out of Y/N's sight. However, someone still hasn't left and it made her anger bubbled up even more.

"I swear to God if you don't leave, I'll squeeze your kneecaps.." Y/N said jokingly? She was not sure, she might just do that if Steve won't stop his douche ways..

"Cut it out, Y/N.." Steve ordered..

Y/N rolled her eyes, she sashay her way to Steve and move her face closer to his.

"You're not my Captain, you don't get to order me around.."

Y/N was supposed to walk away but was stopped by Rogers hand in her arms.. However, his hands didn't hurt her, his touch was soft and gentle.. Typical Steve..

Always a gentleman..

"I'm the Captain, you'll obliged to me.."

Y/N scoffs as she takes her arm away from him, she looked him deeply in his and saw that there were anger filling his blue eyes.. This guy really hates her..

"And what if I don't?What would you do?Fire me?Spank me?" She sassed but Steve eyes soften and his eyes wander to her body..

Y/N brows furrowed, what was Steve doing? He just stared at her and his cheeks suddenly got flushed.. Di-Did he just imagine what Y/N has said??

"What?" Y/N was weirded out, she hated the eerie silence between them and to top that up he might be imagining sexual things or so she thought..

"Capsicle, let's go!" Stark voice boomed out through the whole tower, it made Steve snap back to reality and he just walks away.

This made Y/N flabbergasted, he walked away just like that.. After the awkward silence and him being flustered, he just walked away with no explanation or whatsoever. Y/N just huffed in annoyance and flops back down to her comfortable messy bed..

What is wrong with Steve?

Days passed and it seems that Y/N is finally at peace, there were no longer eyes watching her.. Yes, Steve has given up.. How does she know? Simple, Steve is now avoiding and pretending she doesn't exist.. Which is fine by her, but there's this small pain in her heart.. She missed Steve acting like a douche..

Y/N mentally slaps herself, she used to complain about Steve always criticizing and annoying her but why is she missing it now? Y/N sighs as she slams her head in the table infront of her. A piercing pain welcomed her as her head hit the table but she ignored it.

"Umm, can I go on with my briefing?" Tony was standing in the middle of the big briefing room..

Y/N put her hands up and gestures an 'okay', she completely forgot that she was sitting with the Avengers in the middle of a meeting..

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Wanda was the first to ask her that, Y/N just let out a groan.. All of them just shared knowing looks and Tony fakes a cough.

"If you want to rest, you can go.." Tony chided..

"Alright.."

Y/N stood up and was almost to the door when Steve's phone suddenly rang, he answered it..

"Sharon?"

This name made Y/N stop, are they together? They look nice together, she hope that they'll break up soon.

"I'll be there.." Steve endes his call and stands up..

"Sorry everyone, I have a date with someone.." He push passed Y/N leaving her heart on the floor..

He has a date? Why is she even concerned about that? She doesn't care, Steve's stupid anyway!

"Wow, Capsicle is going on a date, I'll be damned.."

"And with Sharon?She's nice.." Wanda chirps in..

Meanwhile, Natasha notices Y/N who was dumbfounded and hurt by all the recent events..

"Aren't you gonna go, Y/N?" Nat asked with mischievous eyes wandering to her face..

Y/N put out a fake smile and left, how is she feeling this way? Does she like Steve? She groans as those thoughts eat her alive, maybe she just need a fresh air..

Yes, fresh air..

That's exactly what Y/N needs, she has been cooped up in the tower for weeks now.. She sped up to her room and grab her keys, jackets and Tony's credit card.. He won't mind it, that man is richer than the whole US goverment..

Y/N jogs to the elevator, turns out she's not going to be waiting for the elevator alone.. Steve is right there, also waiting for an elevator so he can go to his fancy date with someone else..

"Fuck.."

Y/N was deep in her thoughts that she didn't realize that Steve was looking at her.. She cleared her throat and walked up to the elevator doors..

"Up or down?" Steve asks making Y/N look at his stupid handsome face.

"Can't you figure it out Sherlock?" She's grumpy and she doesn't care.

"What?" Steve questioned.

"Down!"

"Could've just said that.."

"We're on the fuckin--"

"Language!" The infamous 'language', he's being dramatic as hell.

"Fine!We're on the freaking top floor and your asking me if I'm going up or down?"

"I didn't notice."

"You're just stupid.."

The elevator was taking forever, normally it would be up in a minute but she's been standing her for almost five minutes and the elevator is still a no show.

"This is taking forever, I'm going to take the stairs.." She was going to the staircase when the elevator doors opened..

"You're impatient.." Steve mumbles.

"Asshole.." Y/N mumbles back..

And before she knew it, she's pinned to the floor.. It happend so fast, Steve has pinned her down to the floor.. Their face were only inches apart, it made Y/N blush but she somehow hid it..

"Let me go, Steve.."

"Not until you beg for forgiveness.."

"Beg?Didn't know you had a kinky side, old man.."

Steve got flustered by her words, still he didn't let Y/N go.. She started to fight back by getting the upper hand and overpowering Steve.. Now she's on top, she smirks and inch her face closer to Steve's face.

"Dominant, I like that Cap.."

"Although, next time ask for a girls permission before you go and pin her to the floor.."

Without thinking Steve kissed Y/N, her eyes widen but soon she melted to the kiss. It started out soft but it became rough within seconds.. All of the unsaid feelings were mashed into the kiss.. She was out of breath but she didn't want it to stop.. Steve pulled back and smiled sweetly at Y/N, she was confused but she smiled back..

"You like me back?"

"No shit, Sherlock.." Y/N smiled but instead of Steve saying language he smiles back..

"You're so immature.."

They both laugh as Y/N got up and offered her hand to Steve, he gladly accepted..

"Go, you'll be late for your date..Wouldn't want to keep her waiting.." Y/N shooed Steve away but he just stands there..

"You are my date.."

"Well powder me in sugar and call me a donut.. Was all this planned?" Steve nods and Y/N just shakes her head in disappointment, she interlock her arm to Steve's arm.

"Let's go eat some ribs and steaks, Cap.."

On the briefing room with all the remaining Avengers,  they were cheering and celebrating as they watch the two from a surveillance camera.

"Not bad, Cap.." Natasha mumbles as she eats popcorn with Wanda and Bucky.

By commenting, or reblogging this post, you’ll be telling me that you’re interested in being on my tag list! You’re also welcome to DM me or send me an ask if you’re more comfortable with that :)

If you guys have any request for a oneshot about ( marvel characters, DC characters, stranger things, game of thrones, brooklyn 99, friends, basically anything! I accept everything!)

[ruby3818]

I have something I really need to get off my chest that I’ve put off for years now but can’t ignore anymore. Under a read more so you can skip it and tagged #negative so you can block it. Maybe this might clear some things up or at least get my side of the story out there. Please read this before making any decision about me from what you’ve heard from someone else.

I am aware that Cap, who I used to be friends with but had to leave the friendship because of their controllive obsession with me is still saying lies about how I “abandoned them” in public forums. Even going as far as to ask my franticshipping mutuals to block me (how she knows who my mutuals are is anyone's guess since I’ve had her blocked for over three years now??). If you see her do this please stop enabling them!! Over the years people have made her feel ok to get aggressive about my very existence and tell her that they are “valid” for feeling jealousy. All it does is reassure her that it is ok to behave like that and not be held accountable for their actions. Cap does not need validation, she needs help.

I have begged her multiple times over the past few years to leave me alone and stop saying stuff about me on public forums but every time she promises to stop I hear from someone else that they're still doing it. Things like; making up stuff that I apparently said in a dream treated as fact, telling my mutuals to block me, saying that I’ve apparently replaced her, telling everyone that I abandoned her, etc.

Because of her I not only lost them as a friend but every single other friend I had because they either believe the lies or they're scared of upsetting Cap who flies into a rage at the very mention of me.

I really tried to help her and then when the jealousy, gas lighting, violent mood swings and controlling behavior got too much for me and everyone else who tried to help I had to do what was best for both of us and leave the friendship.

I've tried for three years now to be the better person and not talk about what should be our personal problems but it's just blown up in my face with no one believing me or wanting to get involved and everyone enabling them (which is triggering to irl experiences but that's another story).

And I do understand that maybe a lot of this frustration I feel is because of the pattern of people abusing me and then everyone around me forcing me to forgive them and be around them for the sake of their feelings leading to the same damn cycle of me being helpless and feeling like a burden for not putting up with it.. It just sucks that even online I have to deal with it when this should be a safe place away from all that. But I also know what emotional abuse looks like due to irl experiences and I know that this is not acceptable behavior. This is abuse. And the only way to stop an abuser is to get their behavior out in the open and have other people know what they’ve been doing.

It also really sucks that the whole reason I couldn’t stand being friends with her was because I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone else and if I did they would blow into a rage and yet 3 whole years later I still am not allowed to talk to anyone otherwise I’m “replacing them” leading her to tell any potential new friends to block me (Somehow she is finding out who my new mutuals are on Tumblr, Twitter and Discord and dm’ing them to block me which is what some of these mutuals have come forward to tell me). She still has that control over me and I’m sick of it. I just want to move on.

I hate having to tip toe around the fandom not knowing what they’ve said about me to mutuals. I just want to be able to talk to people and have them know the full story and not some fabricated story of abandonment or random crap I apparently said in a dream of theirs.

As for what they did in the past, here’s my side of the story and why I had to leave the friendship;

They would always get jealous when I talked to other people and threaten to kill them self because "I'm just going to replace them". It became such a constant thing that I couldn’t even talk at all in a public server without there being a big drama about it. They even ended up being banned from Specord for their constant harassment of me.

Whenever I would bring this up and ask her (or beg) to not get upset and let me talk to people they would act like they had no idea what I was talking about and say that my depression is making me think crazy things. Even though other people saw it and I also had screenshots I still believed them because (being mentally ill) I really can't trust myself. I've been gas-lighted by people in my family my whole life so this was too triggering to handle on a daily basis so I needed out of the friendship.

She constantly suicide-baited me into taking her back and then made every conversation we had about suicide and self harm. Whenever she felt bad about something I said to her in a dream or if I talked to someone else she would tell me happily how she cut herself “for me” because it was supposed to show me that she loved me and that she somehow deserved it. The constant talk of suicide became too triggering to my own mental health and struggle with suicidal thought that I had to get out of the relationship.

For so long they would make up lies about how I abandoned them leading me to receive death threats from strangers telling me to kill myself, people blocking me and all my friends no longer talking to me so it doesn't upset them. So in the end they still had that control over me.

They even told me in our last conversation (over two years ago) that they were right for overreacting over me talking to anyone else besides them because I "shouldn't be talking to other people anyway". They even went as far to tell me that they hated how I was "popular" and basically wanted to be like me whilst also destroying me.

I know that I could of been a better friend but with my c-ptsd and her own mental health problems it just became a toxic mix. The very mention of my name or seeing my posts or comments at all just sends her into violent mood-swings. I couldn’t handle being emotionally abused on a daily basis and I needed out of the relationship. And I get that they still have friends that care about them, that’s good! They’re going to need the support if they’re ever going to improve as a person and move on from this.

So what is the point of this post? Well mostly just to get this pent up helplessness out into the open so maybe someone might understand. The other reason is that I am sick to death of having to be known as the bad guy just because I tried to do what I thought was the right thing by walking away. I want to be able to makes friends and not have to worry about Cap finding out and sabotaging it for me. I want the hate asks to stop. I want people who I thought were my friends to stop blocking me because of something they heard.

This is a selfish request but I also want people to stand up to her for once and stop her from spreading lies about me in public and feeding her delusions. I want her to know that she can’t bully, manipulate and emotionally abuse people in to a friendship and that she doesn’t get to decide who I can interact with. But mostly I hope that by getting this out in the open maybe this might finally come to an end and we can both move on.

Naturally she’s gone and deleted all of her dm’s with me but I do still have some screen shots that might help people understand. I won’t include any dm’s with other users but my DM’s are open if you need more clarification.

First off her finally agreeing to tell the truth (which she never ended up doing evidentely)

She always worshiped me as someone I wasn’t and thought that she had to be like me to be a successful person but it ended up blowing up into a full blown obsession around being me.

She always said she acknowledged that how she treated me was wrong but she still kept doing it like she couldn’t control herself... I kept thinking that maybe her therapy would help her and we could go back to how it was before but she just kept getting worse with her obsession.

This was the other Cap.. the one that wouldn’t acknowledge what she was doing at all and would tell me I was making it up out of paranoia

These are some screenshots that were sent to me of some of the stuff she was saying about me on other servers?? She would always treat the stuff that I did in her dreams as stuff I actually said but, idk how to control what I say in her dreams?? I would never in my life say this kind of stuff about anyone??

Due to the pic limit I will include other screenshots in a reblog.

If you need any more clarification or just want to talk don’t be afraid to ask. Hopefully this can be cleared up finally and I can be free from her control. She needs to be held accountable for her actions and she needs to move on for the sake of her own mental health as well as for mine.

[anexperimentallife]

Again? Look, when we are solvent, we help whomever we can. We've done a LOT that we don't talk about here, because we don't feel the need to brag every time we help someone out of a bad situation.

But WE'RE the ones in need now, and when even the most casual glance at @thesurestthing or my blogs will tell you that we're fund-raising for our daughter's situation, and that I'm already putting off medical care I need for her sake, a total stranger repeatedly DMing us begging for "just a few hundred dollars" when they KNOW what we're up against makes them a grade-A piece of shit.

I nearly lost my toes, and may have permanently fucked the vision in right eye, because I put off treatment so the money could go towards fixing our daughter's situation. I may end up losing the rest of my top teeth for the same reason. I have a literal hole in my throat that food and meds get stuck in and sometimes choke me, which I'm putting off getting fixed, so we can put the money towards our daughter.

But you, a total stranger, are going to REPEATEDLY DM me, begging me and guilt-tripping me to risk my daughter and my life for you, even after I've explained why we CAN'T help, and that all I could do was reblog your donation post?

Asking is one thing, but repeatedly harassing us when we've explained we have nothing to give? Demanding that we endanger our daughter for you?

No. Fuck you. Blocked. Go be a piece of shit without a shred of human decency elsewhere.