#you can’t convince me he’s under 6ft

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Okay but it is just me or Ewan is taller than what everyone says he is? Cause I keep seeing people say he’s just 5’10 but he’s literally almost a head taller than everyone else. And mf has long legs, he’s giving 6’1 minimum. I need someone to verify this cause someone’s lying to me.

[ray-elgatodormido]

Idk just some doodles.

Dynasty Warriors but I remind Koei that Lü Bu had a wife that isn’t Diao Chan. She probably wasn’t a buff 6ft+ Malay lady who crushes weaklings under her shoes but idc he’d totally be into that.

You can’t convince me he wouldn’t be enthusiastically doing whatever would make the women in his life happy.

[pixie88]

Thanks for the OC Ask for ATB @aussieez 😘

Started at 5th May (Harry’s birthday!) 7:50AM recording the time it takes to finish 🤣🤣🤣 Finished time: 12:34PM I did bits in between.

Q1 -

Harry - Not bother, he'll just unhook it😊

Laila: She'll say something along the lines of "Bloody hell! Stupid handle" and get annoyed trying to unhook it 🤣🤣

Q2 -

H - He's a coffee in the morning and tea the rest of the day.

L - She's a 2 coffees a day kinda girl and a hot chocolate on the colder days.

Q3 -

Both their safe places are their flats, which would look something like these.

Q4 -

H - Probably lying and cheating as he has been cheated on before in the past.

L - I would probably say the same as Harry's lying and cheating.

Q5 -

H - Laila calls him a few pet names like Mr. Muscles, Fluffy bear, handsome but I don't think there is anything else maybe I need to come up with one. 🤔🤔

L - Remy has called her Lulu, Harry calls her the usual pet names like gorgeous and beautiful.

Q6 -

H - Not so much books more health and fitness magazines.

L - Laila loves a Rom-com book when she has time to read.

Q7 -

H - I would say he's a bit of both assertive and shy because of his past.

L - She's definitely assertive.

Q8 -

H - Definitely friendly.

L - She's friendly and a bit of aloof maybe?

Q9 -

H - I think when someone upsets someone he cares about or insults them. Being bullied as a kid I think it would take a lot for someone to anger him if they were to say something about him.

L - Again if someone upsets family or friends.

Q10 -

H - Typical bloke banter makes him laugh or just banter.

L - Laila love chessy jokes and funny banter.

Q11 -

H - He definitely loves to prank and I think I need to bring that out in him a bit more tbh.

L - I think Laila is one that will fall for a prank, maybe even do little ones herself.

Q12 -

H - Harry is a personal trainer so he has to be healthy, he will have the odd day where he won’t work out and eat junk but over all his job is to be fit and well. I would say a good patient.

L - She’s goes for a run most morning but kinda eats what she wants she’s not one for diets etc. I think she could be both a good but also terror patient.

Q13 -

H - As a PT probably gym wear, vest or t-shirt, jogger or shorts and trainers.

L - Normally depends on the weather so either a t-shirt and jeans or a dress.

Q14 -

Both - I would say their both a easy people to please.

Q15 -

H - I would say his blue eyes or his muscles maybe even the fact he’s 6FT.

L - Probably her light brown/grey eyes.

Q16 -

H - Someone who’s honest, confident, bubbly, funny and loyal.

L - Laila likes anyone she puts her guard up but if they break through that she’s pretty much a friend for life. She wants someone who will stick around.

Q17 -

H - He’s soft around everyone.

L - As above Laila is hard on people until she gets to know them and they have gained her trust.

Q18 -

H -

L -

Q19 -

H - Probably at school when he was bullied about his weight. Maybe even when Gemma cheated on him.

L - I would say when Josh took his own life it did take Laila 8 years to get over him.

Q20 -

Both - Nope I don’t think they do maybe just each other.

Q21 -

H - Cheesy answer probably his girlfriend, he’s not materialist.

L - Probably the necklace Harry got her for her birthday.

Q22 -

H - Being a PT he needs little snacks during the day to keep up his energy.

L - She more of a 3 meal a day kinda girl as at work she doesn’t have time to snack.

Q23 -

H - Burger, steak kinda stuff as 80% of the time he needs to eat healthy.

L - Laila genially loves cooking no matter what it is.

Q24 -

H - Listening with no judgement and help resolve any problems.

L - Finding solutions for any problems.

Q25 -

H - Not sure he finds anything difficult.

L - Open up to people/letting people in.

Q26 -

H - Harry wants a dog but Laila convinced him getting a dog with the hours he works wouldn’t be fair on both the dog or him.

L - Laila is definitely a dog person. I imagine her growing up with Great Danes.

Q27 -

Both - They have nieces and nephews so know kids can be both devils and angels. They are under no illusion that kids are perfect 100% of the time.

Q28 -

Both - I would say Instagram with the jobs they have they can promote on there. I have done a fake insta post not sure if I will use it yet.

Q29 -

H - I would say he’s a pretty organised person with a little laissez-faire.

L - She’s a very organised person. She’s the kinda person that will always be early.

Q30 -

Both - No idea!

Q31 -

H - Harry would go for something a little shiny.

L - More feminine.

Q32 - What they would were to a prom at their ages now not school.

H - face claim wears these kinda suits.

L - I'm thinking something black.

Q33-

H - He’s pretty much friendly and anyone’s friend when he first meets them. His shyness left him when he gain confidence.

L - She pretty dismissive I think she throws banter at people those who can’t hack it normally don’t stick around.

Q34 -

Both can drive.

H - Being a tall lad he needs a biggish car, I picture him with an Audi Q5 but he doesn’t drive like an Audi w****r!

L - More eco friendly living in London the smaller the car the easier to get around right? She has a hybrid (I rented this when my car broke down a few years ago if we only had 2 kids this would be my car. I loved it! #dreamcar) Toyota C-HR it's small but beasty.

Q35 -

H - He’s attracted to someone who is good looking but has something about them and plays hard to get, he likes a bit of a chase and makes him work.

L - She just wants someone who’s a little easy on the eye, confident, gets her banter and gives it back.

Q36-

Both - I don’t think there is anything about either of them that hasn’t made it onto the page.

Q37 -

H - Is that possible? He is a big lad, so pretty sure he’ll be hard to kidnap.

L - I would say pending on the chapters I have released Harry would kidnap her for some kinky reasons. If all my drafts were out it would be someone else.

Q38 -

H - I would say he would unwind with a nice hot bath and snuggles with his girl.

L - Probably just chill watching tv and snacking.

Q39 -

H - Guilty pleasure...is probably binge watching a series Laila has made him watch but one he would never admit to his friends about watching.

L - Rolling over to Harry’s side of the bed when he’s left for work because it smells of him.

Q40 -

H - Call the police as he goes on a hunt for the mugger himself.

L - Call the police and make sure their OK, be their shoulder to cry on.

Q41 -

H - He’d probably punch they back in the face if it was a bloke but if it was a girl he’ll back away and try and calm her down.

L - Laila would hit back no matter the gender.

Q42 -

H - Yes, in fact it is there birthday date today 5th May.

L - Yeah, I have a 3000 word chapter of how! Hers is 5th August.

Q43 -

Both - N/A - They don’t play them kinda games.

Q44 -

@aussieez​ feel free to correct me if you think different 😉

H - I would say would be in Hufflepuff.

L - I think maybe Gryffindor.

Q45 -

H - He’s a Taurus.

L - Of course she is a Leo.

Q46 -

Both - Neither of them are religious.

Q47 -

H - He blushes when someone does something nice but he is grateful they have taken the time to do it.

L - Gets overwhelmed and sometime emotional too.

Q48 -

H - He will cry in really happy moments like if Laila said yes to marrying him or if they just had a baby (Not that this is on the cards anytime soon just an example). He doesn’t get annoyed easily.

L - Laila will cry at anything even TV shows. She gets angry or annoyed easy and if she’s hanger Harry knows he better get her food soon.

Q49 -

H - I would say Harry’s biggest fear right now is losing Laila whether it be harm coming to her or her cheating (No that won’t happen well maybe one has in drafts).

L - Again she has lost someone via a horrible illness so she’s also scared to lose Harry.

Q50 -

Both - I think it depends on their day they can both be light/heavy sleeper and have dreams/nightmares.

Lets see your answers: @aussieez​ @secretaryunpaid​ @shewillreadyou​ @lem-20​ @khoicesbyk​ @irisofpurple​

[amphtaminedreams]

S/S 2020 Fashion Month: A Basic, Uneducated Fashion Heaux’s A-Z of Everything Noteworthy (Part 3/3)

Hi to anyone reading,

I’m finally at the end!

It’s only taken me, like, over 2 months but I’m finally about to review the last 5 shows I wanted to talk about from this year’s RTW offerings for S/S 2020. It’s very frustrating that I couldn’t include them in the last post and make this a nice, neat, equally sized two part thing but Tumblr was being difficult and so here I am. On the plus side, I guess I can also make this post a bit of a round-up of my ultimate favourite collections of this year and some of my absolute favourite looks!

To quickly finish my review though, I’m gonna start this post with Vivienne Westwood’s S/S 2020 collection!

And I hate to start the post on a downer but I wasn’t wild about it. The bridal look worn by Bella Hadid and the similarly structured red dress are the only pieces that I really love. The accessories are beautiful, especially the shell necklace, and the fitted corset upper halves are very flattering, however, there’s just nothing particularly exciting about this collection for me.

As for YSL’s S/S 2020 collection, my opinion is pretty similar. Don’t get me wrong, I personally love the embroidered pieces, and the jewell tones, and the whole art teacher/female Russell Brand vibe (I’m aware this is my second Russell Brand comparison of this review, don't @ me) but why does there have to be SO GODDAMN MANY FUCKING SEQUIN SUITS? I included a couple of the more interesting ones just for reference and can you believe that’s only about 1/10 of the sequin suits that were actually shown. I feel like they genuinely made up a good 33% of the show. It’s so boring and overdone from Saint Laurent, like you really can’t convince me that they didn’t do this exact same thing last year and the Eiffel Tower being in the background and the presence of the goddess that is Naomi Campbell and all the fancy lighting in the world isn’t a distraction enough because they DID THAT LAST YEAR TOO. It’s just disappointing from a brand like YSL who really has the money to take it to any wacky and inventive place that they want, and who has drawn on so many historical and cultural references in the past; the bohemian looks I am here for, everything else can go.  

Next is Zadig and Voltaire, which is obviously more of a pedestrian brand than YSL, but still...disappointing. 

I guess disappointing is the wrong word really because it’s not as if I had especially high hopes, it’s just that in comparison to a collection like Off-White’s, which was also a lot more of a “wearable” line, this is very Stradivarius/Zara/H&M/any member of the Inditex group. I like the ruffles, but we’ve seen them done in a much more interesting way in pretty much every other show and same with the blazers and suits. Even the styling of the teal faux fur coat, which I adore, is meh. Even Emily DiDonato can’t save it for me and that’s saying something because she honestly might be one of the most beautiful women on this planet.

On a more positive note, Zimmerman was beautiful. In a collection inspired by the ocean, the tranquil colour palette, the ornate, frothy ruffles and the flowing materials are dead on, and indulgently so. I can see most of these pieces having universal appeal and looking good on anyone, and yet this wearability doesn’t make the collection boring by any means; I think it really is a matter of having a clear concept and attention to detail that save more subtle shows from falling by the wayside. 

And lastly, Zuhair Murad, which is always a designer I look forward to; I love a good princess dress and on that, he always delivers.

However, whilst there’s a similar feel and colour palette to Zimmerman, I’d say this collection doesn’t have quite as clear a direction. There’s definitely a lot of recurring themes of the ruffles and the high necks and the bohemian prints and suits that we’ve seen throughout fashion month, but this still doesn’t feel like the most relevant or current collection I’ve ever seen from Murad. It goes without saying that the dresses are beautiful but in the context of a red carpet where every dress is a princess dress, I can’t imagine any of these taking my breath away which is usually the case. 

I really WANTED to end on a positive note, I’m sorry! And there were so so many amazing moments this season. In general, I’m excited for a lot of the trends that are seemingly going to be coming up: more of the milkmaid thing, peasant blouses, bohemian influences and a shit load of gorgeous suits!

I was going to try and do a top 10 but I honestly have too many favourites so I’m making into a...top 20. It sounds like a cop-out, but when there’s THIS many shows to go through I think a top 20 is perfectly fair. 

1. Gucci

It has to be my favourite overall. The clearest concept, the most beautiful colours, and a whole range of interesting accessories and structures. Blew everything else out the water. Might make like Elsie Fisher in Eighth Grade and just start randomly saying Gucci out loud at totally inappropriate moments to express my love.

2. Marc Jacobs

Kooky and in your face but also thoughtful and delicate. Every piece is a statement. 

3. Moschino

The intersection where art meets fashion is always my favourite place to lurk and so it’s not surprise that Moschino’s Picasso inspired collection ticked so many boxes for me. Aside from that, the structures are gorgeous and on trend and I love the accessories.

4. Valentino

So. Many. Heavenly. Dresses.

5. Mugler

Definitely the sexiest S/S 2020 collection.

6. Paco Rabanne

I mean, yes, it is a little primary school teacher-y (it’s probably the coloured socks), but a fashion-y, wear-it-to-the-club version of primary school teacher style.

7. Ralph and Russo

A prissy pastel dream that channels the Sandra Dee sleepover scene from Grease in the modern day, the only thing that could’ve added to the Ralph and Russo show would be a more diverse group of models.

8. Brock

There’s never going to be an appropriate moment to wear any of the garments from the Brock collection. Does that mean I’m going to stop thinking about it? Never.

9. Balmain

I know Balmain didn’t go down too well with the fashion critics but the noughties pop girls obsessed child in me loveddddd it.

10. Etro

Not the most high-fashion but I would wear.

11. Dion Lee

Dion Lee took corsets and suspenders and harnesses and turned that whole dominatrix trend on its head by pairing them with androgynous silhouettes, fresh whites and subtle nude tones, and I’m here for it!

12. Alessandra Rich

Eighties presidential candidate’s wife/sorority queen realness.

13. Dilara Findikoglu

Definitely my favourite of the more “avant-garde” shows we saw this year.

14. Oscar de la Renta

These dresses speak for themselves, do I really need to say any more?

15. Christopher Kane

Christopher Kane made galaxy print cool again for the first time since it was murdered by 2013 “hipster” Tumblr and then buried 6ft under by the plethora of £5 and under wholesale retailers who thought it would be a good idea to mass produce leggings with said print on. 

16. Loewe

Delicate, purposeful and refined, Loewe put out a practical yet very, very pretty and season-appropriate spring collection.

17. Thom Browne

Thom Browne brought Marie Antoinette onto the runway. ‘Nuff said.

18. Louis Vuitton

I will never turn my nose up at anything 70s influenced and Louis Vuitton’s collection was probably the most authentic (and thus kinda ugly at times) that I’ve seen.

19. Simone Rocha

If I ever became part of some modern day witchy, forest-God worshipping cult, I would expect us all to be wearing Simone Rocha’s 2020 S/S collection and nothing less.

20. Vera Wang

Jenny Humphrey in Gossip Girl for the 2019 e-girl xoxo

SO.

3 parts and 3 months later, this is my review of fashion month 2019 coming to an end. I mean, it’s actually closer to A/W 2020 fashion week now than it is to S/S 2020 buuuut let’s just forget that little detail because I had NO FUCKING IDEA it would take this long.

If there’s anyone out there who read this to the end (and I highly, highly doubt there is and I don’t blame you) or even anyone that looked at the pictures (which is probably what I would do), please let me know! It got a bit long at times but I have generally reallllly enjoyed doing this and more than anything it’s got me sad that I’ll never see these shows in person :( sad times :( oh to be on the benefiting end of nepotism :( 

Thank you sooo much!

Lauren x

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area

Warning: Not explicit (yet); some mild language. This has been quite cathartic in a way.

Summary: 29-year-old nurse Sarah Bernette has worked hard to get where she is. Moving to Boston from a nowhere dump of a town, she’s studied hard and is grateful her stress is finally paying off. Despite being fostered repeatedly throughout her childhood, she’s since found some comfort in the form of her adopted parents, Jocelyn and Noah, and a pseudo-adoptive family of sorts in form of the Evans clan who have treated her as one of her own ever since she moved in with best friend, Shanna. Valuing them above all else, she appreciates their support even more when her long lost birth mother decides to reappear in her life after so many years, and is surprised to find out just how supportive Chris is in particular. As she struggles to maintain a firm grip on both her professional and private lives, she finds an ill-advised solace in her growing mutual attraction with him but how long before everything unravels and threatens to pull the rug out from underneath her?

Note: I have two chapters written and will post ‘Chapter Two’ at some point this weekend to get things moving. I apologise for my spelling/grammar errors. Let me know if there is something wildly incorrect here and I’ll change it. Still figuring out a few things and I expect this will be a slow burn but it’s exciting to finally get off my arse and…sit down and write. 

CHAPTER ONE

Today was probably a 4 out of 10.

4.5 if she was feeling generous.

Sarah thought about the decisions she had made in the past decade that lead her right to this moment, this moment being cleaning neon-coloured vomit off her scrubs for the second time in the past hour.

“You would think people would have learned downing shots of Absinthe was not a great idea by the time they’d left their teens,” snickered Audrey before shooting her a sympathetic look and handing over another wipe. “I can’t believe how green it was. It looks like you got punked by the Marshmallow Man!”

“Thanks for that.” Sarah was scrubbing as hard as she could while internally questioning her decision to pursue Nursing all those years ago. Her History teacher once told her she could have “a decent stab” at becoming a Middle School teacher if she applied herself right. Right now, she could be knee-deep in teaching half-interested kids about the 27 Amendments without an ounce of sick in sight. Instead, she was baffled. “Fuck. It’s practically luminous…”

This must have been payback for pushing herself as a teenager. Being fostered in and out of care homes during your formative years could turn you one way or the other, and Sarah chose “the other”. She was sure the universe was telling her she should have stayed put and been happy with her lot in life, in her too-small town with no feasible job prospects, where everyone knew you and held that against you, instead of moving halfway across the country with next to no money to study at a University she couldn’t afford and would most likely be in debt to for the next twenty years. Now, however, she got to convince local drunks that climbing on to roofs was, in fact, not a great idea despite the bet they had made with their “friends”. On a good day, she got to help children pick out the colours for their plaster casts. 

Or take today. Today, she got to lecture a group of young people about the trials and tribulations of playing “run the bus” with 60% proof. Every day was just a little bit different so as to keep things interesting. That, she reminded herself, was something she had to remain glad about.

She sighed and threw the last wipe in the bin. Taking a last look in the mirror, she turned to her friend for reassurance that she looked at least passable. She caught her frown before Audrey realised Sarah could see her and quickly gave her a thumbs up. She did love her Audrey which is why she decided to repay her kindness by forcing a hug on her as a thank you.

“Silver lining, though,” Audrey said, shoving her away, laughing in protest. “You’re lucky you didn’t get any in your hair.”

“Yeh bastards had a good aim at least.” Sarah dusted down her arms one last time to check for anything she might have missed and the two of them left the locker room. The place was now eerily quiet, thank god. Just run out the clock and they’d be home and dry in no time, figuratively speaking in Sarah’s case.

Audrey placed a comforting arm around her pal. “You want me to find some spare scrubs? I’m sure they’ll have some upstairs. It’ll only take a minute.”

“Nah it’s OK. I’ll be done in 20. Just gotta sign Mr. Richardson out from cubicle 5 then I’ll run home and shower.”

“OK, well, if you have to hang around, avoid triage because you-know-who is there and I don’t want you ruining your chances again.” Audrey pinched Sarah on her hip and headed back to her work.

You-know-who was Greg Anderson, an attractive 30-something medic from a hospital on the other side of town. He was up-and-coming in Paediatrics apparently and had been shadowing a Consultant for the past few weeks. He was 6ft plus with dark hair and brown eyes and his father was something big in Economics in MIT. He drove a Porsche and wore Louboutin’s on his rounds which had Audrey practically foaming at the mouth. Indeed, he hadn’t bypassed the attentions of the majority of females in the ER, as well as a few men and even a couple of patients but as always, Sarah was solely focussed on the job at hand to pay him any heed. Audrey thought she caught him staring at her the other week, though, and made it her mission to set them up. She took great pride in playing matchmaker for her friend given that she herself got locked down nine years earlier and “it’s a damn shame to let these skills go to waste.’ She had somehow also managed to get Shan and Lisa onside, too, however that had happened.

Greg was handsome, she’d agree with that, and definitely her type in the right light but something was a little too Republican for her liking. Plus, he was a Rangers’ fan and Sarah swore blind early on in her life that she couldn’t bring children up in that kind of hostile environment. Sarah briefly contemplated walking past triage with the lingering scent now clinging to her clothes but as Audrey kindly repeated to her at regular intervals during the days, Greg was her only realistic prospect right now and figured it was perhaps better to keep her options open, at least for the time being.

Mr. Richardson was gone pretty soon afterwards and, accepting defeat for another day, Sarah grabbed her bag and headed home.

*

There was definitely beer left in the fridge, she was sure of it. She’d bought a six-pack at the weekend and could only remember drinking two during the Bruins’ game, so…

“Oh yeh, you’re out of beer.” 

Sarah turned around from the fridge to face a sheepish looking Chris holding the last frosted bottle in his hand, his ball cap low over his face attempting to hide the faint black circles under both his eyes. There was a 5 o’clock shadow forming now he wasn’t required to shave. As drained as she was, she briefly contemplated wrestling him to the ground for that last swig. He looked just as tired. She figured she could take him. At least he had the decency to look guilty about it.

“I’ll run out and get you some if you…Jesus! Why do you smell like a brewery?!” He practically recoiled holding his free hand to his nose.

Sarah rolled her eyes and grabbed a glass for some cold water instead. “Are you here to just annoy me or steal my beer as well?”

“Both now you ask but seriously, what have you been doing all day? You don’t usually smell this bad.” He joked.

“Oh, some kids took it in turns to throw up on me and I didn’t have any clean scrubs to change into.” She downed the water and went to fill the glass up again. God, she didn’t realise she was this dehydrated. Chris shot her a look of confusion. “It’s a long story. Is Shan around?” She shed herself of her scrub top and headed into her bedroom down the hallway, Chris casually following behind.

She had to pop out for something so I’m just handing here ‘til she gets back. You coming for dinner at Ma’s? She’s doing her famous lamb roast. Might wanna shower first, though.” He joked, playfully sticking his tongue out at her.

“God, I forgot how hilarious you are.” she overtly rolled her eyes at him. “No, I’m good. Just gonna head for an early night, I think.”

“OK, well, if you change your mind, we’re leaving in half an hour. You know she’ll make me drive back to get you otherwise.”

That was true. For as long as she’d known and lived with Shanna, Lisa had treated her like any other member of her family and Sarah had never fully grasped how much she had appreciated it, coming from where she did. Lisa knew Sarah’s folks weren’t as close by any more and compensated for this by inviting to every dinner night she held, every games night, school events, theatre events, and more besides. She spent Christmases with them, visited Disney with them, and had New Years with them on occasions she wasn’t working. Lisa even organised a surprise birthday get-together for her as well despite Shan’s protests that she wasn’t a birthday kind of person. Sarah had learned to stop feeling awkward or out of place soon after.

Once Shan told Lisa Sarah had wanted to start learning to play piano as a new year’s resolution, Lisa had insisted she could teach her whenever she had some spare time. There soon after followed afternoons of tea and gossip and not much playing of the piano but it felt comfortable and nice for the first time in a long time. Shan would make excuses so Sarah didn’t feel obligated to attend everything but in truth, she didn’t mind so much. It was nice to feel wanted.

Chris was lounging on her armchair with one leg over the armrest, messing on his phone. Sarah could count the number of times on one hand the nights he had spent in his own place since returning to Boston a fortnight ago. As true as it was that he rarely spoke about filming in any great detail, she could nevertheless tell he’d been left particularly drained by this particular experience and wasn’t looking forward to the reshoots scheduled for next month. There had been a rumour he’d started sleeping with his married co-star and she guessed Lisa had been mithering him about it hence him turning up on their doorstep last week. Other than one night back in his own bed, he had remained on their sofa ever since, clearly relishing in the familiar company.

“So what made those kids throw up?” Chris called out, still engrossed in his phone. A quick glance over his shoulder told her he’d been ignoring someone’s text messages.

By now Sarah was in her old yet comfy sweatpants and a Boston hoodie Shan had bought her as an anniversary present of her 5th year living there. “Um, Absinthe. The nasty kind.” She was gathering her washing together.

Chris whistled low through his teeth, a kind of “been there, done that”.

“Rookie mistake.“ he laughed to himself. He frowned at his phone before chucking it onto her bed and turned around in her chair to plant both feet on the carpet, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. He looked like he wanted to get something off his chest but was struggling to find the words. He was reluctant to drag Sarah into anything given how exhausted she looked. Despite their differences in careers, sometimes it felt like she was the only person he knew who could understand how long and tiresome the days could get. Then he would inevitably feel embarrassed he was out there only pretending to save lives when she was out there day after day actually living it for real in all of its bloody glory. And for a tiny fraction of his pay. He tried not to water than thought too much.

“I take it you know,” he asked quietly, still not looking up from her bedroom floor.

“Know what?”

“About Jenny?”

“Oh,” she paused for a brief second. He’d know straight away she was lying if she tried to play dumb. “I mean your mom might have mentioned something in passing,” she shrugged unconvincingly. He scoffed knowing she would have talk about nothing else since the rumours started gathering pace online. He knew he hadn’t done himself any favours by avoiding the conversation either but he simply couldn’t stand another lecture of disapproving look. Dinner tonight was to be his mea culpa.

Sarah was thankful when she heard the front door go and then the sound of Shan dropping her bags in the kitchen and heading towards Sarah’s room.

“I signed for this for you this morning while you were out.” she handed Sarah a brown envelope before turning to Chris with a hand on her hip, looking like she was scolding her 7-year old nephew. “Mom’s been trying to get hold of you all day. She wasn’t sure if she needed to lay an extra seat for you this evening. Sarah, she wanted me to make sure I couldn’t persuade you to come as well?” Sarah shook her head and held up her stained clothes and enjoyed Shan’s visible flinch.

“I’m not even going to ask.” She held her hands up and walked out. Chris rolled his eyes in mock imitation of Shan and Sarah smiled sympathetically, mouthing a “good luck” to him as he left trailing behind her.

Sarah was left looking down at the envelope in her hands. It looked very official; the kind you would receive if you’d been summoned to a court hearing or Jury Duty. She didn’t recognise the address or the stamp but recognised her home town almost straight away. It had been years since she’d been there. Why the hell were they dragging her back now?

*

[carol-thirteen]

Quarantine

my brain did it folks. it wrote something substantial. round of applause please x

so i’ve not edited this or anything (not like i ever do anyway lol whoops) if there’s any errors i’m sure you can imagine what was supposed to be said x enjoy the 1639 words i was able to squeeze out of my brain tonight.

Summary: Reader gets infected by alien

—

After being exposed to a foreign alien substance, you concluded quite quickly that you were allergic to it. You were the first to come into contact with these creatures.

Taking an evening stroll was something you and Natasha did. Going alone wasn’t the same since you’d trusted her enough to bring her with you. It was your usual route, through central park. You stopped and watched the sunset while you enjoyed a nice warm cup of hot chocolate. It was autumn so there was a cool breeze. You hugged your thick cardigan around you while you were finding yourself deep in thought.

Until a large gangly creature’s screech plucked you out of it, terrifying a few other families near by.

You yelled at them to run as you got in between the snarling beast and the civilians. You tried to get a good look at the creature.

“What are you?” You whispered. “You definitely don’t belong here.” You went to reach into your pocket, to call SHIELD to assist in getting this thing trapped accordingly. Before you could, it leaped at you, it’s slimy spit coating the sharp teeth that were almost hanging over your head. “Gross.” You huffed, dodging a swipe of it’s claw, you rolled on the ground, stretching your leg out to reveal a sharp blade tucked away under your boot.

In one swift movement, you hopped on a bench, face to face with the 6ft something alien, and sliced its throat.

It’s blood splattered onto your skin, at first it was cold, but as it settled and the creature fell to the ground, your face and forearms began to sting.

You slipped your hand back into your pocket to pull out your phone. You sent a message to Natasha telling her to bring help.

You sat on the bench, your skin starting to sizzle visibly. “What the hell is happening to me?” The dizziness became overwhelming and beads of sweat slipped off of your forehead with no hesitation. You felt your heart rate quicken every moment.

You heard the trucks but Natasha’s voice was clearer. Her footsteps grew closer and you immediately stuck up your hand. “Stay back, Nat.”

“What? What’s going on?” Natasha frowned as she looked at you. You were too focused on the ground, trying to keep a steady head.

“You have to get them to seal that thing up.” You pointed, with your throbbing arm, towards the remains not a few feet from you. Natasha followed your arm for a second, catching a glimpse of the foul smelling bubbling pile of- god knows what. Her attention though, was immediately brought to how red your arm was. Almost blistered.

“Jesus, hon. Why didn’t you-“ You saw her hand reach for your arm but you looked up quickly.

“Don’t.” You said through your teeth. Natasha gasped at the sight of the same blisters that were on your arm, now on your forehead and cheeks. “Please don’t.”

Everything was fuzzy for a while. When you finally realized you were in quarantine, you began trying to recall how you got there.

You felt bandages across your face loosely, but right around your arm. Natasha knew you didn’t like to be constricted, so she made sure you could at least move your head and face normally.

You were groggy, tired and so so weak. Natasha almost didn’t register that it was you who spoke her name.

“You’re up,” you heard her reply through a speaker. “How do you feel?”

“How long do I have to be in here?” You breathed trying to move your jaw as little as possible.

“Until they find an antidote. They’re working on it as we speak.” Her voice was soft, guilty almost.

You gave a small nod and then swallowed hard.

“There’s water just to your right,” Natasha pointed her hands up to the glass. “I would hand it to you but…”

“I know,” you leaned over and picked up the bottle of water, reaching with your other unbandaged hand. “You’d think they’d put the table on my good side wouldn’t you?”

Natasha let out a soft laugh, but you could tell it was laden with worry.

“I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry about?” you frowned, crossing your legs underneath the blanket, wanting to badly for her to be curled up in bed with you.

“I should’ve been there with you.”

“You were finishing up paperwork and there’s no way you would-“

“I should’ve come with you for the walk.” Natasha shook her head, her hand on her forehead, brushing her hair backwards.

“Then we’d both be in here on the cusp of death,” you joked, but seeing the twitch on Natasha’s lips, you instantly regretted saying it.

“Don’t say that.”

Silence filled the room quickly. You were in pain all over your skin and deep inside. Trying to lighten the mood was the only thing you could bring yourself to do.

Natasha sat on the chair and waited for some feedback from the team that was working on the antidote.

You watched as she would catch herself drifting to sleep and startle herself. She glanced over at you in a panic, making sure you were there you assumed.

“You can sleep you know.”

“It’s been 2 days Y/N, I haven’t slept yet what makes you think I’ll sleep now.”

“Please,” you stared at her. You saw the bags under her eyes. You wondered if she had been eating properly, hoped that Steve would’ve forced her to. Using “Y/N wouldn’t like to see you like this” to convince her.

“You’ll wake me if they come in?” Her voice raspy but quiet.

“Of course,” you gave her a subtle smile and she nodded, snuggling into your sweater.

You were fine for a little while. There was a TV in your room, though nothing good was ever on. As you laid under the sheets, your shoulder and back started to burn.

“It’s spreading Nat.” You choked out. “Nat wake up.”

She was awake and facing the window on her feet in a heartbeat.

“Show me,” she waited for you to rotate in your bed as she pressed the buzzer in the room, signalling for help.

“I can’t,” you hissed.

You felt hot and had to remove the bedsheets. What was underneath was your legs that had become blistered as well.

“Oh god,” you breathed shakily.

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“Is it?” you looked up at her through the glass, the fear now setting in, written all over your face.

“Baby…”

“What if they don’t figure this out Nat?” You spoke quickly now, despite the pain in your face.

“They will. They have to.”

“What if they don’t?!”

“I’m not going to-“

“Natasha please. Be honest with me. You know more about this than I do. They don’t want me to panic but it’s already happening so will you just tell me.” You begged before you roughly added, “Tell me what’s going to happen to me if they don’t find a cure.”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“I need to hear it Nat.” You whispered, growing weaker with the strain.

Natasha stood closer to the glass, one hand pressed against it, wanting nothing more than for it to be against your cheek instead.

“The blisters will get larger. Eventually, they’ll restrict your breathing.” She was so quiet, you could barely hear her. “You’ll suffocate before anything else.”

You nodded, trying to process it. “Right okay.” You let out a sharp laugh before groaning. “Really didn’t want to go like this.”

“There’s still time. It’s not over yet.” Natasha frowned, her jaw tight with stubbornness.

You gently shook your head. “As much as I’m glad you aren’t going through this too, I really wish I could hug you right now.” You sobbed painfully.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you sniffed. A beat. “Tell then to hurry up will you?”

“I’ve been pressing this button for the last 2 minutes. It’s as if they-“

A figure dressed in a hazmat suit entered your room. Holding a needle. Your eyes drawn straight to it and then back at Natasha, hope in both of your eyes as you stared at each other.

Steve and Tony had rushed into the room with Natasha and watched from behind a window while Bruce was in the room with you.

“Cutting it a bit fine there, Banner.” You whispered. “This will work, yeah?”

He blinked at you. “You don’t know.” You continued.

“We have never encountered this creature before. There was no precedent.”

“Right.” You tried to accept what could happen to you in a matter of seconds. You gave Nat a weakened smile, one you hope masked the fear. “Just do it.”

“Hold still.” You shut your eyes tightly as you felt the needle prick your skin.

You opened your eyes. “Did it work?” You stared at Natasha, whose face dropped as you collapsed further backwards onto the bed.

“What the hell did you do?!” Natasha yelled, wanting to slam her hands on the glass.

Banner’s gloved hands were around your shoulders shifting you to lay flat on the bed. The monitors were going crazy. Your body was still.

“Please,” Natasha whispered. Steve’s hand rested on her shoulder, but she brushed it off and turned around to him. “It should’ve been me Steve. She doesn’t deserve this. She has never done anything-“ Steve’s eyes widened and his hands firmly grasped her shoulders to turn her back to you.

You had gasped for air, violently coughing though that seemed to ease off within seconds. “What the hell was that?” You croaked.

Natasha let out a laugh, largely out of relief as she watched you start to come back to yourself.

Banner looked over your skin, that was mending itself faster than expected. You followed his gaze and then started at him. “You did it.” You brushed your thumb against the newly healed skin on your arm.

[arty-e]

Heya! I’m back with more world lore and Ocs! This is just a post on Hearts and i guess my thought process on the whole thing. All this will be under the cut if you guys are interested at all! :)

A brief sort of explanation and thought process about my world (Cards). I was getting kind of bored and somewhat fed up with fantasy worlds that focus on western medieval times (don’t get me wrong i’m weak for the aesthetic) so when i started developing my world i wanted to combine cultures with one another. also i love the 1700s-1800s aesthetic the most. Another important thing i need to add is that this world though appears old to us is actually around 11,000 years, with the Fae having been a heavy influence on how the world changed really slowly, so slowly guns don’t exist. Since Cards it is so old it has been fully integrated and it’s perfectly normal. Racism is not a thing but xenophobia is, i just need to clear that up right now. Now that’s out of the way i can focus on talking about Hearts! :)

Hearts: I’ve based Hearts on Indian (Primary) and American (Secondary) cultures. Admittedly sounds like a strange combination but i felt they like fit with Hearts sort of theme of emotions (I’ve always felt that America as a nation was sort led by emotions and India’s culture and fashion always spoke to me emotionally (vibrant and colourful)). With these two nations combined i must add i combined three cultures, India, America and Native American cultures. Originally i had just based it on ‘white’ America but the more i thought about it i realised the importance of representing Native American culture in this. Hearts fashion is mostly based off of India but i have taken some creative liberties as this is still a fantasy world of my creation. Hearts is a much more practical nation and values practicality and comfort over style and fashion. Jewellery is not often worn (only on special and grand occasions) and clothes are loose and easily movable in. 

Royals:

As Hearts is an egalitarian society, men and women are equal to one another and succession only matters if you were born first.  The second picture you will see there is a royal portrait of the Royal family (the third shows them next to the Cards they represent). I’ll explain them left to right.

First up is Prince Mercury Cor, the Ace of Hearts. He’s the main character in my story hence the reason for me making a timeline of him growing up. His mark is on his right cheek. I’m not going to talk about him much here as i will talk about him in his own post.

To the right of Mercury is his father, the Queen of Hearts, King-Consort Alvis Wilson-Cor. He was born a Heart (via his mark on his neck) however he was born in Spades. His mother (Camilla Ennis) was a Spade Common while his father was a Heart Noble/Number (Four). He married Mahira three years after their eldest son, Adrian, was born. He is a very sickly man (from being poisoned) and has a damaged lung from the Deck Wars hence why he is confined to his wheelchair, he can walk but he can’t do it without his cane and he can’t do it for long before requiring his chair again. Out of the rest of his family he is much more level headed and is well respected in Hearts Court. Alvis’ main goal is prevent a war like the one he had fought in ever breaking out ever again and takes a stronger interest in foreign policy than domestic ones.

Standing just behind Alvis is the King of Hearts, Queen Mahira Cor. Known as the Warrior of Hearts she became the King of Hearts after her father was killed during the Deck Wars, she has a fierce and serious personality that scares most people who aren’t very close to her. She hates dressing up and prefers much more practical clothes. Mahira’s moral code is simply the law and believes everything is black and white and nothing is ever grey. Luckily for the rest of Hearts her husband takes a much more pragmatic approach when making decisions which she listens to. She has a small hatred for Nobles because of how they had conspired against her husband and tried to kill him with poison as they had considered he was unfit, now she only ever listens to him and the Nobles must go through him before they can even convince Mahira on certain matters.

Prince Adrian Cor is the Jack of Hearts and heir to his mother’s title. He is a lot like his mother as he is quite keen on a fight or two and prefers to take action than sit around and talk about the problem. This has lead him into getting into a few fights growing up but nothing too serious. He is obsessed with his family and loves them endless, especially his little brother. In the picture he is 17 years old (he gets a growth spurt suddenly and he gets taller than his mother (by 1inch but that’s a lot considering she’s 6ft tall)). Anyway he’s a good boy who is a bit of an idiot at the same time.

Nobles/Numbers:

The Nobility in Hearts is deeply unpopular with their King and Queen especially after they had attempted to kill Alvis before he could marry Mahira (purely for xenophobic reasons (he’s half-spades)). Despite this the nobility have come to respect him. One of the only Nobles that aren’t hated by the Royals is the House of Six. Moriel Harjo had not been involved in conspiracy and had been the one to reveal it to the couple. As in all the Kingdoms the Houses of Six always become the Royals tutors. Moriel has been teaching Adrian since he was six years old (he has been a handful for the poor man) while he has been tutoring Mercury since he was four years (insisted on joining his brothers lessons). He cares deeply about the two boys as if they were his own sons. (He is important to Mercury’s past) Moriel has two children of his own, his youngest being Latifa. As she born with magic (something very rare and respected within Cards (only 1% of each kingdoms population has magic)) she was sent to a monastery of Masou to be taught to control her magic and Masou’s teachings. When she turned 20 (she’s two years older than Mercury) she was free to leave and she was first introduced to court. She became good friends with Mercury and Adrian. (She and Adrian become romantically interested in one another later).

The last picture is of a glass stained window of Masou that would be seen in a monastery. Each segment of the picture is supposed to represent Hearts and what Masou is Fae of. (on the top right is the Hearts Palace)

Anyway that’s all i’ve got for Hearts at the moment! I hope you enjoyed this! It was a rather large post i hop you guys don’t mind, i just really like talking about my worlds and ocs!

I hope you enjoyed! See you all later! :)

[imaginesfor-thesoul]

title: “If On A Winters Night” (Dean Winchester)

characters: reader x dean winchester

word count: 2.1K

warnings: angst, swearing

:: :: ::

You first met him 6 years ago. You knew about what hunters do, especially considering your father was one, but you were never interested in hunting for your own. You knew how to survive, thats what mattered. 

Yet 6 years ago, when she got wrapped up in a shapeshifter case, she met him. Dean Winchester. The man who, unbeknownst to you, would go on to be one of the most important people you would ever know. 

After the hunt, you got dragged to celebratory drinks with the Winchester brothers. It was there that those green eyes caught your undivided attention. 

Sam had turned in early, leaving just you and Dean at the bar. What had happened that night was fairy tale material. There was no meaningless sex, no sloppy drunken kisses or tearful confessions. What transpired that night was pure connection.

When the conversation turned from casual chit-chat to an interesting and meaningful discussion is still unclear. But the two of you talked until last call, and talked all the way to the motel you both happened to be staying at. And even though your room was all the way on the other side of the complex, he walked your right up to your door continuing the conversation until the two of you finally bid farewell.

What you weren't expecting though, was the fact that the next morning he was gently knocking on your door.

Thus began the second day of your week long affair. 

Each day he surprised you with something else to do. Go out for ice cream, late night drives, karaoke club etc. Even though you had only known him for a couple of days, your feelings for him were exponential. And he felt the same.

7 days after your initial meeting, the two of you had mindlessly wandered through the city, going wherever your feet would take you, you found yourself back at the motel. Lingering by your door frame, not wanting the night to end.

Dean looked at you with those torturous green eyes, and a smile couldn't help but land on your lips. 

“You can’t smile at me like that.” Dean had said.

“And why not?” You contend, a line of confusion rushing across your forehead.

A smirk appeared on his face “Because I may just have to do something about it.”

Before you could say a word, he leant down and cupped your face. Parting your lips with his with ardent. Absolutely unforgettable.

The next morning you woke up to rythmic banging on the door. The noise was increasing as you rushed to the old wooden door. A slight smile was on your face at the idea that it could be Dean.

Swinging it open, you were met with a teary eyed Dean. His face flushed and hands running through his blond hair.  Your light smile immediately dropped as you saw the state he was in.

He looks up at you and immediately scoops you up into a back breaking hug. His hand in your hair, and chin on your shoulder.

“(y/n)...I’m just...i’m so sorry (y/n)” He says into your hair before quickly unraveling his arms from around you and heading towards the door, not before hastily placing a folded piece of paper on to your desk.

You stand there, dumbfounded with a light gloss over your eyes. What just happened?

You rush to the table and unfold the paper, your breath hitching as you start to read.

(y/n),

This week that we have had together has been one of the greatest weeks of my entire life. I have never felt more instantly connected with a person then I have with you. That’s what makes this so difficult. I have been called for a hunt that’s all the way across the country. Though I thought long and hard about asking you to join me, instead i’ve made the selfish choice of letting you go. You have been trying to distance your self from this lifestyle and unfortunately I am in no position to do the same. No matter how much I want to. You are the most incredible person I have ever met. I hope our paths cross again. Just under different circumstances. I will never forget the girl I fell in love with in 7 days.

Goodbye for now,

Dean Winchester

And just like that he was out of your life forever. You could feel your heart break a little bit more overtime you read over the letter. You longed for him again, yet over time, that longing turned to resentment.

How dare he just leave you like that? Tell you he loves you and then you never hear from him again?

You were convinced that if you ever saw him again, you would punch him right in the face for all of the pain he had caused you.

Yet, 6 years later, that wasn’t quite what happened. 

You’ve had boyfriends since then. Although they seemed more like substitutes as those green eyes were always in the back of your head.

You felt stupid for still thinking about him. You only knew him for a week. But however much you date and meet new people, you are never satisfied knowing what real connection feels like now. Constantly searching for a spark that you know could only be ignited by a single person.

Yet here you were, on a winters night, walking through a snow pact parking lot on your way to another blind date at some smokey downtown bar. 

You finally reach the door and take a deep breath before entering. You glide through the tables by the bar. Your friend told you to search for a brunette over 6ft with a full beard named Alex.

You see a man of that description sitting at a two person table with a bottle of wine. You approach the table and ask “Alex?”

He looks up at you, “(y/n)? oh my goodness you are even more beautiful then I could've ever imagined.” He says with a pearly white grin.

You smile and sit in your seat, taking off your jacket. 

The date was going okay. It was nothing special and you were almost positive that there wasn’t going to be a second date. Alex was talking about his family when all of a sudden he interrupts himself, saying “Oh my god, look at that loner over there, I bet he spends every night here, drinking his life away.”

Your brows furrow at the rude comment, yet you are still inclined to turn and look at the subject.

Spinning in your chair, you turn to see someone you’d never thought you’d see again. Quickly snapping back around, your cheeks go pail and you start to feel very dizzy. 

Alex notices your instant mood change and starts to question it. You can barely hear what he’s saying as you feel your hands start to shake. It was only when Alex reached over to you that you were snapped out of your trance.

“(y/n)? What’s wrong?” He asked.

:: :: ::

DEANS POV

After just finishing a long hunt, Dean decided to go get a drink at the closest bar he could find. After sitting for about 15 minutes, downing his drinks, he decided to look around the room, in search of someone to talk to, or just to simply observe.

He saw a bachelorette party, which he decided to stay far away from. Some friends at a bar and some people on a date at a table near the bar. He could only see the guy’s face, as the girl’s back was towards him.

He continued looking around the room as his sipped his drink, thinking over the days hunt. 

However his thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone yell “(y/n)? What’s wrong?”.

His mind immediately went back to the beautiful girl he once knew. Yet he shook it off, not wanting to give himself any false hope. However, he tuned more into their conversation out of pure curiosity.

It was when he heard a soft voice  stumble out “I’m sorry...it’s nothing. Really.” That his heart started to race. He knew that voice. It can’t be true.

His legs start to move on their own as he finds himself at the couples table, staring at those eyes he fell in love with over 6 years ago. 

“(y/n)?” He softly asks, voice breaking.

:: :: ::

NORMAL POV

Just as you were finally starting to get your thoughts back together, a pair of green eyes approached, staring right back into yours. Your heart dropped. 

“(y/n)?” He softly asks. 

Voice quivering you share a soft, hurt smile. “Hi Dean.”

You both stay there frozen for a little while, just taking in each other’s presence. It was then that Alex cleared his throat and caught Dean’s attention. “Hey man, i’m Alex.” He offers a hand, which Dean hastily accepts before focusing right back on you.

Out of impulse, you suddenly stand up and put on your coat. “Okay Alex, this was fun but I should probably be going now.” You say to your dumbfounded date.

You turn to Dean. “It was nice seeing you again.” Before turning to leave the building.

As you leave you hear rushed footsteps behind you. “Wait! (y/n) please wait.” It was Dean.

Both of you were in the freezing cold. It was lightly snowing but you could still feel the hot tears rolling down your cheeks. 

“What Dean? What do you want?” You snap, the fire in the chest is the only thing keeping you warm.

Dean stops “(y/n) I am so sorry for what I did to you all those years ago. But I need you to know, I never stopped thinking about you. I think about you everyday. You are the greatest person I have ever known and I am so sorry I threw what we had away.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, you could hardly think straight and the snowflakes falling were distorting your vision even more. Finally, you said “You have cause me so much pain. I hate you so much, Dean Winchester, but more than my hate for you, I hate that i’ve never stopped thinking about you either. You broke me. Over one fucking week you managed to break me. How vulnerable does that make me?” You say with a bitter chuckle.

Dean steps closer to you, taking your shaking hand into his. “I never stopped loving you (y/n).”

“You can’t just say that to me and think all is forgiven. It has been 6 goddamned years and you think you can just show up and tell me you love me and i’ll fall right back into your arms?” You say, not exactly believing every word you say.

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone.” Dean lowers his head and shoves his hands in his pockets, turning away. 

“Wait!” You exclaim, realizing that this may be your only ever opportunity to feel that true happiness again. “Come here” You open your arms as an invitation for a hug.

 With a smile he runs over to you, lifting you up while he wrapped his arms around your frame.

With that hug you were instantly transported to that week 6 years ago, that magical week that has left you with nothing but longing and despair. You melt into his arms as the tears flow even more.

“I love you Dean.” You whisper.

He responds with that kiss. You completely forget that its the middle of winter as you could've stood there forever. 

After breaking apart, the two of you lock fingers and start to head back in towards the bar for warmth. You can barely believe that this is even happening right now. Before you go in you pause. “Wait, Alex is still in there.”

Dean smiles. “Lets go for a drive then.”

:: :: ::

hellooo this was so much fun to write. please let me know what you guys think xxx

[agentargus]

More ghost-mutant NPCs because I cannot stop.

Name: Erik Winchester Gibson

Nicknames: Slendy, Techie Scum, Lurch

Designation: Cyber Operations Agent, Archivist Apprentice—Roanoke Society

Mentor: Agent Archivist, Former Agent Alvinne

Security clearance: Case-by-case basis.

Education: MA/MS in computer science from Seattle University, BS in Information Systems from Cogswell Polytechnical College

Height:~6ft 9in

Weight:~200 lbs

Age: ~42, appears and behaves slightly younger due to healing factor.

Likes:

Video games

Trains

Crunchy snacks

Classical music

Cheesy paperbacks

Dislikes:

Talking

Clothes-shopping

Loud noises

Yoghurt

Not being able to fit through doorways (tall people problems. Mun can’t relate.)

I was going to do this in a more creative way but I realized it would require a lot of alternating perspectives to get the whole story written and that’s a lot of work for NPCs who still have a lot of developing to do so I decided to write up something relatively brief. (The irony is that it still ended up being long as f haha. It would have been even longer if I had made it more creative though.)

In addition to going back to some classic creepypastas for inspiration, I finally got into looking into some more locally-minded paranormal legends and it’s quite a wealth of source material so you may see more characters of a similar nature in the future.

Extra special thanks to @theagentofarchives and @roanoke-etc / @spookylilmoonpie for letting me include their characters in the story the way I did. Very long lore under the cut.

Born with standard-fare psychic ability and desperate to grow his power and influence, Andrew Lawrence Rees ran the gamut of involvement with secret societies and cults. After failing the Roanoke agent tests as a young trainee, he attempted to start his own paranormal organization. When that failed, he spent the next few years in and out of various occult and spiritual organizations (including the Church of Scientology) leaving each upon deciding they were scams.

In the late 1950s, Rees took up residence in Italy to research Thelema and study alchemy. While performing a particularly provocative Thelemic ritual taken from the work of Aleister Crowley himself, Rees was apprehended by the

Carabinieri, deemed mentally unstable, and was committed to Poveglia before being deported to the United States. During his brief stint at the asylum, Rees came under the tutelage of Il Dottore. After the asylum closed, he would make more trips back to the island to keep up communication.

In 1960, Rees was declared mentally competent, took up residence in San Jose, California, and began his first experiments. He did not use human hosts at first, preferring less distinctively scientific and more alchemical methods. Passing himself off as an exorcist, he gained the trust of Sarah Winchester’s ghost and began trapping spirits from the Winchester Mystery House. Under the pretext of setting spirits free, he instead contained them and transported them from the house to his lab on Hicks Road using transmutation. The spirits were often damaged by the process and most of the early experiments did not survive into adulthood.

While working with what would become the Berkeley Psychic Institute by day, by night he continued to perform his own rituals. In order to preserve the spirits, he instead began using an interdimensional teleportation unit to transport the spirits.

What Rees didn’t realize was that when each spirit was filtered through the interdimensional rift, they returned with vestiges of what existed between dimensions, things that weren’t meant to be summoned. The experiments created with these spirits had unusual physical features—taller than average, greyish skin and dark scleras without irises or pupils. Little by little, as the survival rate of the experiments increased, they became a family of their own and the lab became a compound of sorts. Soon, the experiments expressed a desire to bring forth other interdimensional energies, if not shatter the boundaries between dimensions entirely.

Around 1976, a young experiment fled the compound. A young drifter named Taylor Gibson found her hitchhiking on Hicks Road and they became traveling companions, marrying at a roadside church. She attributed her strange appearance to a genetic abnormality—technically true—and Taylor didn’t question it. The night their child was born, Taylor fell asleep with the baby in his arms. He awoke to find his wife missing, a strange ink-like substance coating their bed and trailing across the floor. He attempted to file a missing person’s report, but there was no evidence that she’d ever existed. He later moved to Portland, Oregon, where he remarried and had a second child.

Rees communicated to Il Dottore that one of his experiments had returned to the compound, showing signs of having given birth, making Il Dottore realize that his own experiments were capable of bearing children. Rees was finally stopped by Parker Jensen and Dante Argenti during a mission in 2017.

If you were to ask him, Erik Gibson would tell you that he was a completely ordinary, if quiet child. He spent hours at the arcade, the library, or building and racing remote-controlled model cars with his stepbrother, Frank. What unusual situations Erik might have experienced, he always managed to rationalize with a logical explanation. It helped that he only manifested strange physical features late at night, while he and the rest of the household slept.

Nevertheless, others soon began to take notice: One night as a teenager, Erik had left the library later than he’d intended, asking a nearby resident if he could use their phone. Even after being expelled from the house by the fearful owner, it never occurred to him that it the motivating factor might have been fear. (To this day, he is unaware that he was the subject of several of the Portland accounts of Black-Eyed children. He’d only wanted to use the phone.) As he grew older and began staying out later, reports of strange sightings followed in his wake. Any picture of him taken after sundown would blur his facial features completely. Somehow, Erik always managed to rationalize these eccentricities to himself, nearly to the point of delusion.

Though Erik spent most of his life as a skeptic, Frank became more and more convinced of the existence of the paranormal. While Erik studied computer science at Seattle University, Frank became a paranormal investigator. When the first tech bubble burst, Erik lost his job in Seattle and moved to Silicon Valley, one of the few places where tech jobs were still relatively easy to come by. He went back to school, getting a second degree, and by the beginning of the second tech bubble, he was back on his feet. Shortly thereafter, Frank began working at the Winchester Mystery House and moved in with him. That was when things started getting strange.

There was the time the library near Erik’s hotel caught fire, while he attended a conference in the Sterling City area around 2009, then came the letters with no return address that contained indecipherable glyphs. Erik paid these things little attention until around 2017, when Frank did not come home from work one night. The next morning, Erik went to the Winchester House to look for his brother. Instead, he found Parker, Dante, and Hampton apprehending Rees.

Luck was on their side, for Rees revealed that Frank had been taken by the colony while investigating it (partially to prove to his stepbrother that not only was supernatural phenomena real, but an important part of their family.) After Hampton teleported Rees into A Roanoke holding cell, the three went to the colony to rescue Frank.

The three found the colony empty, though Parker and Dante could both sense the presence of something paranormal in nature. They were able to find the underground dwellings of the experiments through trapdoors in the abandoned buildings. Upon finding out that Rees had been arrested, the experiments explained that they had intended to summon interdimensional forces to rescue them from Rees’s abusive testing, but required life energy that could be used as a gateway between dimensions. Erik’s mother claimed to have been visited in a Dream by an entity claiming that having a child with a human would generate the proper energies. Nevertheless after the child was born, she couldn’t bear the thought of sacrificing it. When Rees discovered their plan and that the child had returned to San Jose, he attempted to cast a myriad of spells on Erik, all of which had backfired. Neither Rees nor the experiments gave straight answers when asked what would have happened to Frank if they had gotten their hands on Erik before Roanoke intervened, but it likely wouldn’t have been pretty. After all, supernatural energy manifestation is often the result of trauma. With Rees gone, the experiments were free to do as they wished, but most decided to remain with their family at the compound. Today, the Hicks Road colony remains a popular local legend.

In Roanoke custody, Rees revealed more details about Il Dottore’s experiments in exchange for a lighter sentence. He explained about the Alvinnes: an order of French alchemist witches who were able to keep their life energies in suspended animation after death or to induce reincarnation with their memories intact. Il Dottore had originally intended to recreate their work with modern science, but decided instead to use the technology to develop super-soldiers reincarnated from multiple souls bound together.

Unable to live in denial anymore, Erik began working in Roanoke’s IT department. Agent Archivist took a special liking to him, theorizing that the residual interdimensional energy attached to Rees’s experiments was that of Byagoona, the Great Old One associated with death and reanimation. Deciding that he was probably family, Marie gave him a special job transcribing the archives into digital files, all the while educating him on the history and power of the Great Old Ones.

It was Marie’s training and Erik’s belief in his own abilities that allowed them to grow, his original denial a protective impulse more than anything else. Though his transformations remained mostly cosmetic in nature, they had their uses. He passed the interrogation test by gripping the edge of the building with tendrils as he fell (already avoiding speech in favor of typed dialogue, keeping his mouth shut was probably the easiest part.) Nevertheless, he kept his focus centered on computers, specializing in cyber paranormal activity.

It was all but love at first sight when Erik and Ginny were introduced. Though he worried about the difference in their ages, her pursuit of him continued. (After all, given how ancient some of the society’s members were, a fifteen-year difference simply wasn’t all that much.) After months of unresolved tension, Ginny finally took initiative and asked Erik to buy her a drink, despite the fact that she was allergic to alcohol. As she threw up in the toilet, he wrapped his arms around her, absentmindedly pushing her hair from her face with an inky ectoplasmic tendril. Embarrassed, he nearly bolted from her apartment, but she convinced him to stay. They’ve been together ever since.

There’s a lot more, but this is already much longer than I’d intended so if I explain more, it’ll be in another post.

[emptycharactermp3]

Nate and Lochran (OC’s) Headcanons

I can’t be fucked actually writing for these two but I have thoughts so headcanons it is. There will probably be additions to this in the future but we’ll see.

there will probably be some nsfw stuff on here so if you’re under 18 this is not for you.

sfw:

Nate uses he/him pronouns

Lochran uses primarily xe/xem pronouns but doesn’t mind he/him

Nate is about 6ft and Lochran is only 5′4, which xe hates with a passion

because of this Nate will sometimes put shit that he doesn’t want Loch to find in high places where he doesn’t think xe will look

this usually causes Lochran to climb on almost every available surface while looking for said shit

Loch refuses to ask for Nates help with anything that's too tall for xem to reach.

Most people would think that Nate is the older of the pair but Lochran is actually two years older than he is.

the pair first met at a bar. Nate saw Lochran tinkering with something at the bar and offered to buy them a drink. Lochran being the flirty little shit xe is immediately stole Nates heart (though he would never admit it)

mostly people think that Nate and Lochs dynamic is ‘brooding edgelord x total sunshine’ but its actually ‘has impulse control x has no impulse control’

Lochran is a total flirt all the time forever and Nate is surprisingly easy to fluster

Lochran is absolutely the funny one of the pair

Nate loves to cook and Lochran can’t step into the kitchen without something being set on fire. 

Nate will often start cooking Lochrans favorites in an attempt to get xe to stop working (it always works)

The only thing Lochran can actually cook is a grilled cheese sandwich but Nate swears up and down that they’re the best grilled cheese sandwiches he’s ever had

Despite his propensity for nightmares, Nate still manages to get more sleep than Lochran.

Lochran is an absolute hypocrite with it comes to sleeping. If xe finds out that Nate hasn’t been getting enough sleep or is avoiding it xe will annoy him about it until he gives in (this usually ends up with Loch getting dragged into bed with him but hey xe’s not complaining)

Nate is probably one of two people who can get Lochran to take a break and go to bed (the other one is xirs mother)

Nate isn’t the jealous type but he is the protective type.

The two of them like to dance together, specifically like slow dancing. Neither of them actually know how to dance, but they just like the closeness of it. 

Very much slow dancing in the kitchen vibes

Nate smokes.

Lochran doesn't really smoke and when he does its mostly around Nate

Xe has a habit of stealing Nates cigarettes right out of his mouth

Lochran calls Nate ‘Cowboy’ and ‘Nathanial’ to tease him.

Nate has absolutely borrowed Lochran’s goggles before to see what he looked like in them

Nate calls Lochran ‘Loch’ and ‘four-eyes’

in a hellsbent hadestown au Lochran would be Orpheus and Nate would be Eurydice

Speaking of, Lochran steals Nate’s coat when xe gets cold, but xe would rather die then be caught doing that.

Xe has also defiantly ‘borrowed’ Nate’s hat but, unlike the coat, xe doesn’t try and hide that. Xe has absolutely stolen it straight off his head. Usually this is accompanied by a plethora of cowboy jokes. 

lowkey their whole relationship is Loch and Nate trying to convince the other one that they are worthy of love and should take better care of themselves and neither of them believing it

They both make fun of each other to show of affection

They would both kill for each other.

They have also definitely worked jobs together. At first by coincidence and then as a team.

These two idiots have defiantly sewn up each others wounds before

Both of them sleep better when they’re together. Nate has less nightmares and Lochran is less restless, finding it easier to go to sleep.

Speaking of

After Nate left, he barely slept for like a solid week and a half because he’d gotten so used to the way Lochran helped with his nightmares and couldn’t sleep without xem anymore.

Which brings me to the break up

Is it really a break up if you don’t like actually break up? idk anyways

essentially what happens is that Nate wakes up from a nightmare next to Lochran, who’s still sleeping. He calms down and spends a while just admiring xem as xe sleeps and eventually Nate comes to the realization of ‘oh shit. I’m in love with xem’ and he immediately starts to spiral. 

He’s gotten to close. He promised himself he wouldn’t get attached and now he’s in love with xem?? everyone else he loves has died a horrible death that Lochran is even more vulnerable too than most (i’m being vague to avoid spoilers). Xe would probably be safer without him.

Xe would be safer without him.

So, Nate packs up his shit and leaves in the middle of the night without a goodbye.

As he’s leaving Nate does pause at the door to the bedroom. For a moment he thinks about being selfish. About staying. About allowing himself to have this softness and warmth and affection. Allowing himself to have this love.

Before he steals himself and leaves.

Lochran wakes up to an empty room. Xe feels the cold bed sheets, sees the missing cowboy hat from where Nate left it the night before, and xe immediately knows what’s happened.

Xe goes about xirs day as xe usually would. The only difference being that xe tries to leave town as quickly as possible. 

The two haven’t seen each other since.

nsfw:

the first time they slept together neither of them had any intention of it being anything more than a one night stand. Neither of them were really looking for a relationship or even a friendship. 

However, after that first night, they kept running into each other and eventually they got pretty close. Like travelling together sharing a room kinda close. Though neither of them would admit it.

Usually Nate tops and Loch bottoms. However in terms of like dom/sub both can go either way.

Lochran is a total power bottom i’m right fight me

Lochran bites. Like if you check under Nates neck scarf you’ll usually see at least one or two hickies, probably more. 

When xe wants to fluster him Loch will call Nate either ‘sugar’ or ‘pretty boy’

When he’s feeling soft, Nate calls Lochran ‘Darlin’. He also once called Loch 'princess' which caused a um visceral reaction lmao

Nate has in fact once literally tied Lochran to the bed in an attempt to get xe to rest. Neither of them did a lot of sleeping that night.

On the second job they worked together, Lochran pulled xir normal self-sacrificing bullshit and, after the job was done, Nate got pissed at xem. 

They got into a pretty heated fight about it, Nate trying to lecture xem about being more careful and Lochran confused about why tf he would care. 

Unsurprisingly, the whole thing ended with Lochran pushed up against the wall and the two having very passionate sex. 

Afterwards, both of them went pretty intense on like aftercare but like specifically Nate.

He spent the rest of the night pampering xem. Being super gentle, taking care of all xe’s injuries, being super affectionate. He almost seemed afraid to touch Loch out of fear of hurting xem, but more afraid that if he let go of xem then xe would just disappear.

Lochran’s favorite thing in the world is the way Nate looks when he’s flustered and the noises that xe can coax out of him.

Nate has never felt more proud then the few times he managed to render Lochran speechless. Xe is a prolific flirt who always has something to say, even when Nate’s got his hand down xe’s pants. So the times where he’s actually managed to render xem incoherent hold a special place in his heart. 

Nate has a habit of kissing Lochran’s many beauty marks, specifically the one on xe’s left collarbone.

Lochran likes to worship Nate’s scars.

Nate has a thing for Lochran tugging on his hair.

Lochran may hate that Nate's taller than xem but xe loves the size difference of their hands

Nate can in fact hold both of Lochs hands above xirs head with one of his

Lochran thinks that Nate smokes very erotically

mmmm Lochran shotgunning smoke from Nate

Nate also thinks that Lochran smoking is super hot

Neither of them know this fact about the other

[madteapotlady]

YAY, A THING! Ta @jessinthesky 😘😘

Nickname: Depends who you ask. Suzy/Suz to most. Mum calls me ‘Booby’ for two rather large reasons. Husband calls me every vulgar name under the sun coz I’m a pain in the ass :)

Gender: Female

Star sign: Aries

Height: Around 6ft. Long ass legs!

Sexuality: Bi, but I’m married to a dude ^.^

Favourite band: Led Zeppelin

Favourite solo artist: Gaga

Song stuck in my head: ‘The Chain’ by Fleetwood Mac

Last movie I’ve seen: All the way through: ‘Scott Pilgrim Vs the World’. I fell asleep half way through ‘Kick-Ass’ last night coz I was gin-drunk...

Movies I want to see: FUCKING RAGNAROK!! No-one will go with me...

Last TV show I watched: ‘Steins;Gate’

When did you create your blog: Like... 2010? 2009? I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast, I’ll be fucked if I can remember that far back...

What do you post/reblog: It’s a mixed bag of nerd, but very Evan Peters heavy at the minute...

Last thing you googled: ‘Alan Green Wing’ coz Liam was convinced he was Andy Serkis!

Other blogs: This one and @fuckyeahbinturongs!

Why url: I have a thing for teapots (I own 5) and I’m bonkers.

I follow: 727

Followers: 200?!? AWWW I DIDN’T REALISE IT WAS 200!!

Average hours of sleep: 7-8. I really fucking like sleeping.

Lucky number: 37 If anyone understands why I will love you forever (”... in a row?!”)

Instruments: I sing, play guitar and the trumpet!

What are you wearing: A Deadpool Xmas jumper, Batgirl pyjama top and star wars pyjama bottoms. Yes I am supposed to be a grown-ass human!

Dream job: Zoo Keeper/Comedian/Writer. I’m currently writing jokes to try at an open mic night soon!

Dream trip: New Zealand + Tazmania. Want to volunteer at the Tazzie Devil sanctuary and go hiking in NZ :)

Favourite food: GREEK! Feta cheese and Tzatziki make me happy.

Top 3 universes: I’m presuming this is fandoms? American Horror Story, Doctor Who & Supernatural. Bit of a mixed bag!

Last book I read: ‘How to be Champion’ by Sarah Millican

Tagging @yougottashowtheworldthethunder, @quicksilverbells, @candycountries, @cultofevanpeters, @bansheelangdonthebloody, @langdonsgun, @lobeliaoferebor if anyone fancies doing it :)

[elegantdonutinternet]

Was leaving the right choice?

Now that is a question I have asked myself so many times. Would it not have been better if I would’ve stayed and just kept on sucking up the abuse.

The year was 2017 and my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. Having always been a heavy drinker and smoker and as brown as walnut, I did used to wonder which cancer would get him first. Clearly the added early years of working in an asbestos filled garage had won over his whiskey filled pancreas or his many jet black moles.

My relationship with my father had been a complicated one between the ages of 9 until around 21. I was an ‘accident’ (my mother 19, father 21) but clearly their love at that time was strong enough and he had felt it right to take up his responsibility. What he didn’t see the point of was curbing his going out, getting drunk and some serious womanising. As you can imagine did this not lead to a happy home environment. Anyway becoming of age yourself you do understand things from their point of view. So for many years we had enjoyed a good relationship and he couldn’t do enough for me.

I had never really had a long term relationship until I was 21. Plenty of action before then but usually only for 1 night. I didn’t (and in fact still don’t) know why that was. Sure I was overweight (my relationship with my body would very much require another blog!) but I was also 6ft and pretty so I had no shortage of admirers.

I was 19 when I moved to London and after a few false starts decided to settle there when I was 20. How ridiculous that at that age I feared growing up an old spinster. I mean this was the 90’s not 1890! Anyway a short while after my 21st birthday I met the man I spent my life with until January 31st 2018. It was always a tempestuous relationship where physical violence was a regular occurrence. I always blamed myself and to be fair that’s how I thought relationships were.

My father was violent to my mother and me, my uncles to my aunties, etc. If you’d done something which they deemed wrong you would receive a physical punishment. Also my mother had forever warned me that I would be on the receiving end of plenty a fist due to my feistiness in standing up for myself and talking back instead of just doing what I was told.

So yes I sort of knew the physical violence was wrong I did accept it because I’d done something wrong. Having a compulsive cleaning mother (coming back from school but having to wait until the daily mopped kitchen floor was dry) had turned me into a quite slovenly housekeeper. Actually I always think it was because of my mother but the way my daughter has the ability to make something messy before you’ve had a chance to blink, I think I’m probably just lazy and messy.

So yes being lazy and messy and not cleaning the house weekly was definitely worthy of a bit of physical violence. It didn’t matter that I worked full time (he was training to be a doctor so needed lots of study time), as a woman it was my duty to keep a tidy house. What man wants to put up with someone like that? I actually felt lucky he stuck by me. The psychological violence like gaslighting etc. was also happening but that went straight over my head. I’d been told plenty of times by different people what a waste of space I was and told about all the things I lacked so yes, when he was verbally very critical of me I totally agreed with him.

He did many despicable, unforgivable things I won’t go into as I’m sure this blog is long enough already! During all these years I thought plenty of times of leaving. Even left a few times but always went back as I felt worthless without him and was convinced I’d never find anyone again. Who’d want me?

All this time the biological clock is ticking making you more unsure of it was better to stay and have children or leave him for that lonely spinster life I was so sure awaited me on the other side. The grass was dead and brown on both sides. Plus I actually thought he’d be a good dad. His quite large family would forever say how good he was with children. And it was true but I didn’t realise it was a performance. One that he’d be unable to keep up every day. So I was delighted when I fell pregnant in 2004 and gave birth to a ginormous (11.4l & 62 cm) baby boy. He had the baby blues for about 3 days after where I had to keep reassuring him it’d be ok

He would help out but not much and at times physically hurt our son. I particularly remember a donkey kick which my little 2 year old received after playing up in a queue. I was unsure of having another baby. Of course I had always wanted more but I didn’t feel any security in his role as father. For him going to work was his sole contribution to the family. When I pointed out that he’d be doing the same work with or without having a children it was just ignored. Also our relationship was going from bad to worse as my son was a terrible sleeper, I co-slept with him which was easiest as I was breastfeeding too. Because he had a job he took himself off to the spare room as he didn’t want to be woken up in the night.

So despite reservations I had a baby girl (only 10lb & 57 cm so no stitches needed this time!). His involvement remained the same. Virtually non existent. I even took my son to his weekly football club and my daughter came with me. I would take them on days out only for then to come home and see he’d been watching porn all afternoon.

And I just kept staying but wanting to desperately leave. Particularly after a bad argument. I thought it wasn’t fair on the children as I knew what he was like (not about the shit dad bit mind) before I had them and thought it unfair to put them through a divorce. Actually I also wasn’t strong enough myself to do it. At least the grass on my side was still brown. The one on the other had been burned black.

Life as we knew it continued. Not all times were bad of course but the bad far outweighed the good ones. You’d get tense when you heard him coming through the front door as you didn’t know what mood he’d be in. He had very much a Jekyll & Hyde personality.

Only after I left did I recognise myself completely when I came across gaslighting and found all his traits under narcissistic sociopath. No wonder that when every time I wanted to talk I’d come away feeling guilty for being such a bad mother and wife. Asking him to take them out to the park for a couple of hours so I could have a little break would result in me being accused of not being able to cope.

I always knew leaving would be incredibly difficult. I could give you many examples of his twisted mind and terrible psychological games he played. He did this to the children too and was at physically abusive too.

Now we come to December 2017 and it’s gone beyond liveable. I’ll happily describe it to anyone interested but where do you stop? He was having an affair but I didn’t give a jot about that. My hope was that he’d leave me. Sure when he’d cheated on me years ago it was incredibly painful but now with no love left from my end I really didn’t care.

So with the children fully aware, and who’d actually asked me on plenty of occasions to leave him (I did explained each time that things like that are just not that easy), we left on 31st January 2018.

I wanted a quick divorce in the hope of making it the least nasty. Well you can probably imagine how well that went! He was as nasty as he could be. I accepted the financial settlement he offered me and didn’t fight him on anything. There’d have been no point as we’d still be fighting now. He saw the children every week which perhaps wasn’t a good idea considering his psychological mind games.

From October my son started struggling with anxiety and depression. Getting him to school became a terrible daily struggle with bad arguments every day. I assume I didn’t handle things very well due to my own state of mind. On occasion I’d phone his dad but all he’d do was record everything. When we finally received help from Early Help in January I found out he’d created a whole file on me with recordings, emails, photos of the flat looking messy while I was at my dying father’s bedside.

Eventually my son stopped going to school completely and also never went out anymore. He was completely flattened by his depression and anxiety. My father died on the night of 27th & 28th December. My ex was ghastly to me throughout this whole period. He was really hoping this one would push over the edge he’d been dragging me to for years.

After my ex did something horrible to my son 2 days after I returned from my dad’s funeral all contact was stopped. My ex never ever says sorry and is never in the wrong so he just didn’t contact him. My daughter would still go over (his parents were heavily involved) but he didn’t start speaking again to my son until about September, October and he even had to make the contact.

So my son has been out of education for a year. He has recently started to go back slowly so fingers crossed. It’s a stress and struggle every time but I try to remain calm. He’s 14 and not the easiest or maybe normal teenager but it’s tough. He’s seeing his dad every week again and I’m being friendly and pleasant as being any different wouldn’t benefit anyone.

It’s been an incredibly painful, stressful time for us. I have no family nor close friends so I struggle through alone. I can’t afford counselling and as I missed (or never received) my NHS one was cancelled. This was after already waiting more than 6 months.

I took the children away as I didn’t want to expose them to his behaviour anymore. I didn’t want my daughter thinking that that was how a woman was treated, nor wanted my son thinking that this is how you treat women. The sad part is that if he’d been a good dad I never would’ve left and I’d have just kept sucking up his abuse.

But when I think that my son wouldn’t be having these struggles now and would’ve continued a normal life with school and friends. My daughter would be less anxious too. Yes they’d have had continued having an at times sad/depressed mum but I’ve felt more like that in the last 1,5 years then before.

I will never know if I made the wrong choice or not but it felt like the right one at the time. Staying would’ve meant putting up with it. Well actually you just get used to that sort of living. I’m feeling generally very low at the moment. He still blames for everything that goes wrong. Look, here’s a text I just received from him now:

Yes it is certainly the bed you made & the complete deterioration in all aspects of ‘son’s name’ life since you fractured his life over 2 years ago. No friends, no contact with family & a gaming addition he never had.

‘Daughter’s name’ will in time have problems with the complete fracture in her you caused. It's a heavy burden for you to have but you reap what you sow but it should only stiffen your resolve to help ‘son’s name’.

I feel so alone and barely want to live. I have an existence rather than a life and I live for others. So yes, how frightful that life would’ve been better if I had stayed. Yet another burden to add to the load on my back. I am so so fed up!

[sylveon-of-heart]

Omg okay I’ll try!!

1. Stomach

2. Depends on what song I was last listening to

3. My favorite pokemon is sylveon, and my classpect in homestuck is a sylph of heart, so I just squished them together

4. Moth boy moth boy  M O T H  B O Y

5. The girl I had a crush on in middle school suggested it, and I just sorta got sucked in

6. My Little Pony

7. Pokemon or Steven Universe, I guess

8. Don’t You Want Me by the Human League

9. I don’t know, I haven’t been on very much today

10. Snaaaaake!!!

11. Grown cats, they don’t get adopted enough.

12. Country music. It’s bad and no one can convince me otherwise.

13. Uhhhhh I’m not really a villain type

14. Sylveon, aka my baby!!

15. Buddy I think I already met my true love, but if I had to do it different, maybe just him asking me on a date instead of asking if we were dating

16. Smores PopTarts, they’re just so warm and comfy

17. Mad Psychologist. My creation that turns on me would be someone I gave advice to & it didn’t work out probably

18/19. I don’t really have any favorite tropes

20. I wish there were more shows lounge Steven Universe

21. The girl who “stole” the bones (I say stole in quotes bc she says she didn’t, but)

22. When I was younger, I was a huge crybaby, and I would hide & cry under tables

23. Skeleton statutes, prints, anything like that

24. Ehhhh there are no pens nearby

25. A sudoku zombie apocalypse. I’ll live.

26. Anxiety

27. I had a pimple on the inside of my eyelid. It was kinda gross

28. Well, sylvie can’t talk, so

29/30. Nope

31. Charlie, Sandra, Benny, Terrence, and Hector. Hector gets to sleep on the bed

32. A stuffed brown dog named Rex, he’s somewhere in my room.

33. “You got bleached out eyes from the valley sand And the black tar palms keep weeping your name” - LA Devotee, P!@tD

34. Ahhhhhh I’m not caught up on the fan media

35. Amethyst and Lapis, they could both hate everything together

36. Bone hurtin juice

37. Showers

38. Her name was Keila, and she was just a huge bitch. She got everyone to call me this shitty nickname, and would over-exaggerate everything to try and get me in trouble.

39. Biker gang, either 2 rival gangs that have a bunch of secret taboo couples, or one that’s just a huge polyamorous group.

40. Orange or purple

41. Night in the Woods, still haven’t played it

42. None, I guess

43. Lone Digger - Caravan Palace. Party crazy friend convinces their boring other friend to come out to a club, shit gets crazy

44. ahhhhhh this is cheesy but @catfury my boyfriend makes me really happy

45. Not knowing what the heck I’m gonna do after graduation

46. https://youtu.be/y24v9Xyoz0A

47. I had a recurring nightmare as a child where I’d see my great grandparents playing the piano, and I’d look to the right, and Elmo would be standing there. He’d pull a lever and a trap door would open up beneath me, and I’d fall into an endless rectangular pit that was the purest color blue.

48. I don’t watch movies I think I won’t like

49. Why grape ice cream doesn’t exist. Ask separately if you want to know.

50. Cold

51. When I was little, they’d spank me.

52. That I wasn’t cool. There’s a lot of things I don’t like about myself, but I definitely think I’m at least a little cool.

53. The only ones I can think of are sad,,,

54. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck

55. Red - raspberries Orange - Doritos Yellow - Lemon desserts Green - salsa verde Blue - blue raspberry icee? Purple - berry juice

56. I’d live in someone���s house, probably not doing pranks, but things like folding laundry or watering plants.

57. Sculpting

58. I can clean (inside) really well. I’m also good at doing makeup, but I don’t wear any

59. When people shake my desk. Also I crack my joints a lot, so that probably bugs people.

60. Dinos!

61. I don’t really fight?

62. Oliver!!!! God why do you have to be so beautiful with your stupid puppy face!!!

63. Cremated and have my ashes turned into a record of my favorite songs.

64. https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/terminal01/2011/3/31/10/enhanced-buzz-5527-1301582032-1.jpg

65. Pajamas, brush my teeth, watch a lil tv or read, and go to bed.

66. Humor, kindness, and acceptance

67. Peacock, a snake that was like 6ft long, and a lot of deer.

68. McFuck

69. Fuck aliens, marry dinos, kill dragons I guess

71. P-dizzle, McNerd, Midget Mom, slime, idk any more

72. Shorts

73. Body Like a Backroad. 1, it’s country. 2, my parents play it at full volume. 3, if you listen to the words, the guy thinks he’s being smooth, but really he’s just bad at sex and isn’t listening to the needs of his girlfriend.

74. The love & support of my friends

75. I was to young to know any better, but I picked up an earthworm and wrapped it in a paper towel, and was going to take it home to keep as a pet. It died after like 3 hours.

@fluffy–moth thank you but jesus I’m tired, this took up 80% of the drive home. ♡♡♡