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writing-for-life · 1 year ago

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I won’t even attempt to keep this in the comments because I know it’ll get far too long (the queen of long rambles I am), and I’d torture myself with trying to break it up into tiny bits. There were a lot of thoughts since I last logged on, so here goes: The “how to use tags etc” brings me straight to @stellerssong:

As someone who is comparably new to Tumblr, finding my feet between writing in reblogs, comments and tags is honestly the most difficult thing for me. Because instinctively, I write in reblogs and have always done so because I’m a talker (well, at least when it comes to the written word; I’m actually more of an observer IRL), and I’m an old school forumite. But I felt (and have even been told once or twice) that wasn’t the “done thing” (I stopped caring as you can tell 🤣), especially not if you want to connect, so I defaulted to comments. Didn’t have much luck with that either initially, albeit slightly better.

Laying my thoughts out in tags is just something that goes against the flow for me, and I find it cumbersome, both to write and to read, which is totally a personal thing and just how my warped brain works. Some people will fall asleep trying to get through my walls of text, it’s just what it is.

I use tags much more to structure my own blog so I find stuff again (can I just reiterate again: Tumblr, your search function is shite). Or for the odd quip when I can’t be bothered to write more in-depth, but even then, I’m much more likely to write a line or two on a reblog or in the comments. I’m at the stage now where I try to do a bit of everything and mix it up, but the tags are still the thing that feels least instinctual to me when I actually want to share what moves me.

I think the queue is, at least for me, more of a signal that I’m usually not online when that post goes out (unless it accidentally overlaps), which I guess is quite strictly speaking not necessary? But I’ve got used to it when my blog got a bit bigger, maybe also to keep expectations at bay that no one is constantly at the rudder of this thing? I also use it because I often see stuff I want to order thematically because I have a stupid idea about something that ties in with a meta or a fic or what have you (yes, sometimes, there’s method to the madness), so I throw it into the drafts first and tag it for the queue, which is again, more for myself.

I hear you on the defensiveness btw. I often feel like there’s bad faith behind some interactions, and it’s exactly what drove me away from most other social media platforms. I can still remember saying, in my naïveté, how nice Tumblr and the fandom felt to me after I joined here. Only to get my first hate asks straight after that very post because it had engaged with a hot topic. That’s when I switched my anons off because I honestly don’t have time for that immature shit. It’s a shame really, because I know some people just won’t send asks if they have to put their name down, but then again: Maybe that’s the whole issue? Anyway, rambling…

But it often feels like you have to weigh up every word, and even whose posts you engage with. That’s just so wild to me, because it operates on the assumption that we’re all terminally online and have to know every spat or disagreement that’s going on somewhere so we don’t become “guilty by association.” Or that we can’t be thinking adults, capable of coming to our own conclusions without having to choose who we interact with, and that a reblog of one random post of someone doesn’t mean we agree with everything else they say (never mind we might not even be aware of it).

It seems that it’s impossible to consolidate that genuine enthusiasm and critical thinking can coexist, even in the same people, and that it’s possible to talk about general fandom trends (even the trickier ones) without getting personal and hateful.

That has nothing to do with perpetually being Switzerland (as an example, I have very strong thoughts on fandom misogyny I’ve been known to air occasionally), but rather with the fact that I have a job that deals with the most horrendous stuff on a daily basis. And it also includes some of the topics fandom discourse is commonly about, and I don’t want to constantly engage with it in my time off. I already do it in my work, and I sometimes just need to breathe. But it seems unthinkable to some people that you maybe do advocate and support on a daily basis—just because you can’t it see on here all the time, and you don’t carry it around like a badge of honour, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Again, the bad faith is often staggering, and if I sense it, I just disengage.

As for badgering people @windsweptinred and @marlowe-zara —I don’t know what your experiences are in general, but mine were that the ones who were most receptive to that type of encroachment 🤣 are almost always well into their 30s (a few notable exceptions aside). So I wonder if that way of initiating conversation is just something that seems more natural because we’re used to it from other platforms, or how we use social media? Or maybe we just don’t care about the embarrassment anymore, entirely possible 🤣

But yes, I welcome DMs and asks. It’s not weird, just do it already!

@tickldpnk8 I just laughed because that there, that’s it: If I wanted to shout into the void, I could just talk to my family (although I have to say my partner indulges me and generally doesn’t mind, but you *do* see his eyes glaze over after a while). So I feel everything I do on here is just sharing what’s important to me in hopes other people shout, “OMG me, too, let’s be weird together!” And I use the term “weird” very loosely, because one person’s weird meta is another’s weird crack fic. That’s why I do both, ha!

I also hear you on the toughness of trying to get people to interact. And that applies to everything, apart from the juggernaut fandom trends.

So I want to tell *everyone*, not just the people who took part in this conversation, to feel free to tag me in things they’ve written or created, because I know how quickly it can evaporate into oblivion despite being properly tagged. I sometimes stumble across months old stuff from mutuals and ask myself why I’ve never noticed it before, but such is life, and it’s never purposefully ignoring things. It might sometimes take a bit before I can reply something coherent, but I’m usually capable of a reblog with a semi-thought (be scared of incoherent semi-thoughts! 🤣)—every little helps, especially if it’s something that’s maybe not a main fandom interest (man, some topics sure can feel like it’s me, myself and I).

Also, I now want to know what possible abomination of a nickname you came up with 😜

One thing I have noticed during my year and some on Tumblr, is no one really talks to each other. Interaction seems to be a thing which almost has to be earned through content creation. Or be prompted through ask games.

I mean, if anyone ever wants to ask me things about my art/fics I'd obviously love nothing more. But I'm mostly on this hellsite to meet people to talk weird with about the things I love. You want to start a natter with me about something, just hop into the comments and start chatting, I'll chat back. Or pop me a pm. It can be about a picture of a tree for all I care. You don't have to be fandom famous, you could never have posted a thing in your life. I don't care, that's not what I'm here for. I'm just here to make friends.

#fandom family #less bad faith more human interaction

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allthingshetalia · 5 years ago

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Hey, i really like your blog, you doing incredible stuff every time i read it sends butterflies to my stomach🦋 if this is ok ask axis with s/o who rejected them because thought they not good enough to be with them and then axis finding out? See through your blog every day waiting for updates, but I've almost lost a hope for answer

💕thank you!! Did you send in other asks? It might be in my queue 💕

Italy

“How could you ever think you weren’t good enough for me.” Feliciano asked, he cupped your face in his hands, making sure you’d look at him.

“You’re just so perfect.” You mumbled. A hot tear rolled down your cheek and he quickly brushed it away. “And I’m so not.” You sniffled. Feliciano sighed softly and tugged you against his chest.

“I’m not perfect Bella! No one is.” He soothed. “But why didn’t you just tell me? You broke my heart.” He whispered the last part causing you to look up at him.

“I did?” You felt your heart crack a little. His light honey eyes welled up with a couple of tears.

“Well you confess your love for someone and they reject you even though you were positive they felt the same way about you.” He leaned forward and rested his chin against the top of your head. “It’ll take you by surprise and then you won’t know what to do.” He continued.

“I’m sorry I did that to you.” You apologized pulling away from him. He smiled down at you.

“I know a way you can make it up to me though.” His honey eyes glinted at you playfully. Tilting your head to the side you asked him ‘how.’ He leaned forward and placed a quick kiss against your lips enjoying your wild blush.

Japan

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I would hurt you this bad.” You mumbled. The Japanese man sighed and ran a pale hand over his tired face. His beautiful chocolate eyes were red and had dark bags under them. He had confessed his feeling for you around two weeks ago and since then he hasn’t been the same. He ignored all of your texts and calls, it wasn’t until you practically broke into his house did he see you.

As soon as he open the door your cringed. The usual put together man looked anything but. His hair was greasy and a mess, he looked even paler and skinnier than usual. His nose was red and irritated. You quickly pushed your way inside his house and put some tea on the stove and put some rice in the rice cooker. He didn’t say anything but laid down on the floor cushions not even looking at you. You gave him a large amount of rice and his favorite tea.

You kept picking at him for awnsers until he finally snapped.

“WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE THE ONE PERSON WHO YOU ACTUALLY LOVE AND TRUST COMPLETELY REJECT YOU?”

After his outburst you stood there in silence not knowing what to do. Groaning he went out the back door and sprawled out under one of his cherry blossom trees.

“I seriously didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t even think of the consequences.” You mumbled. You laid next to him and stared up at the pink flowered sky above you. “I-I Just don’t think I’m good enough for you.” You murmured. He finally turned his head to look at you.

“Good enough for me? Is that what you think? Why would you even get an idea like that!” He questioned. You just shrugged not really knowing how to answer.

“You know I love you back.” You stated still looking at the tree branches above you. You didn’t see it but a small smile attached itself to Kiku’s face.

Germany

You winced as the large burly man grunted.

“You’re so difficult Lulu.” You mumbled. You softly patted the cold cloth against his heated forehead. His glossy eyes stared at you in a daze.

“I’m sorry if I scared you.” He mumbled. His rosy cheeks darkened slightly.

“You never scare me. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” You whispered back. He nodded his head in agreement and stared up at the ceiling. Your favorite German got extremely drunk and showed up at your house at 12 in the afternoon yelling about how you completely shattered his heart. You knew he would want to kill himself because of embarrassment so you tried your best not to make him feel worse. “Did you mean all the things you said?” You asked. You ran your fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes in contempt. He opened his mouth and closed it like he was trying to find words to say.

“Ja.” He sighed. He opened his icy blue eyes and stared directly into your own eyes. After throwing up and drinking lots of water and eating some toast he was finally starting to sober up. “I-I was just so sure you felt the same way. Then when I told you how I felt you completely shut me down. I mean you didn’t even talk to me for 2 weeks! We went from spending almost everyday together to being like strangers.” He felt bad for unloading all of his feelings on to you but you needed to hear it and the fact that he was still a little tipsy was helping him.

“I’m not good enough for you Lulu.” Tears welled up in your eyes and the German quickly sat up.

“What in the world could ever make you think that?” He murmured cupping your face in between his hands. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Prussia

“He’s in his room.” Ludwig sighed. He closed the front door and you took a nervous step into the house. “Thanks for coming.” You could tell the younger German was a little mad at you probably because you hurt his older brother- at least Ludwig claimed you hurt him and in his words you ‘need to fix what you broke.’

You gave him a sheepish smile. “Of course!” You giggled nervously. You quickly made your way up the steps and stopped infront of the very familiar door of your best friend/crush since forever. You knocked on the door lightly but nothing happened, so you of course knocked again.

“GO AWAY!” You jumped at the sudden volume from the other side of the door. You cringed and your heart rate picked up. ‘Just open the door.’ You thought to yourself. You turned the knob and pushed the door open. The room was pitch black except for the light seeping in from the doorway you were standing in. You closed the door behind you and flicked the light switch on.

You heard Gilbert groan from the bed and he brought the covers up over his head. You still assumed he didn’t know it was you in his room. Walking closer to the bed you sat down on the very corner.

“Hey Gilly.” You tried to sound as lighthearted as possible. The albino quickly threw the covers off of him and you suddenly felt a little nauseous. He was skinny compared to his usual bulky frame. His eyes were red more red and puffy, with dark circles. He had a good amount of scruff around his lower face and you knew that if he went 2 more weeks without shaving he would have a beard. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and you had to stop your eyes from wandering.

“What are you doing here?” He snapped. He laid back down his eyes staring at the ceiling.

“I came to check on you.” You smiled. “I haven’t heard from you.” You shifted uncomfortably and decided it would be best if you stared at his wall. It was filled with pictures of you and him together. Well there was some with Luddy, Franny and Toni and of course the dogs, but the majority of them were selfies of him and you together, or just stupid pictures of you.

“Did you expect to hear from me?” He grumbled. He followed your gaze and looked at the pictures of you guys together. “It’s not exactly like we left off on a good foot. Remember?” You bit your lip and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. He sighed and sat up again.

“It’s okay, you can’t help your feelings. B-but I can’t be friends with you. I mean it’ll kill me seeing you be with someone else or knowing that you’ll never see me the way I see you.”

“I do feel the same way.” You blurted out.

“What?” The albino asked. He scooted closer to you and you resisted the urge of throwing your arms around his neck and cuddling into his chest where you felt safe.

“I just- I’m not good enough for you! I mean you are awesome.” You chuckled dryly your fingers nervously played with the soft blanket on his bed. He quickly grabbed your hands cutting off your actions and effectively making you look at him.

“And why do you think I like you so much? Huh? You think I would fall for someone lame? You are the out of my league!” His voice was soft and it put a wide smile on your face. “ and don’t be so stupid next time you feel insecure! Tell me so I can help you! That is what a good boyfriend does after all.” He smirked.

Romano

“If I didn’t like you so much, I would punch you in the face.” Lovino grumbled. He brushed your hair out of your face and swiped away some tears that fell from your eyes. “How could you ever think you weren’t good enough for me? I’m a piece of trash and if you think you’re bad for me than how badly do you think of yourself, my Princess?” He hummed.

“You aren’t trash! You are one of the most talented, caring, passionate people on the planet. People just don’t try and see it.” Another tear fell from your eye but it was quickly brushed away. The Italian smiled softly and kissed the top of your head.

“And that’s what makes you so special to me. You’re the only one who has tried to see that side of me. You saved me, you know that?” He asked. Before you had a chance to ask him what he meant he continued. “I’ve waited my whole life to find someone like you. I’ve begged every higher power to just give me someone- someone who will give me a chance. I didn’t care if it was a lover or a friend, just someone. And then you came into my life and I’m not going to throw away that chance just because you don’t see how magnificent you really are, Princess.”

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lgchunji · 4 years ago

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MERRY CHRISTMAS, LGC MEMBERS!

merry christmas, lgc members! oops! this time you didn’t just send something to they mods, they also wanted to send something to YOU!! every single mod, below the cut, has something wonderful for you all to hear! (no, this is not the christmas present side event lol) our mods deserve all the love in the world, but the members all deserve a little extra love too! happy holidays and everyone have a good new years!

admin l, writer of @lgcxjun, @lgcmiso, and @lgcnami says: 1) what is your favorite part about being a mod? making the members happy. when we put out a new event or implement something new in the rp and members are super excited about it, that's what i like the most. 2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far? hmm.. i think it's when we officially opened the rp for reservations and they came flooding. we weren't expecting this. we thought it would take weeks before we get enough reservations to open and were pleasantly surprised when in 48h we had the 10 minimum. we never expected to have over 50 members, either. so this whole experience has been amazing for us 3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!) seeing the characters grow right before our eyes, that's the part i love the most. seeing the progression of each and everyone of you all always make us happy. the admods are your biggest supports, i swear to god. i also love how our members aren't scared of giving ideas and participate in the growth and events of the rp! we always love incorporating our mun's ideas 4) anything else you would like to mention? thank you for being here with us <3

admin *, writer of @lgcdanbi, @lgcnathan, and @lgctaesung says: 1) what is your favorite part about being a mod? oh gosh�� i can’t pick just one! honestly, it’s just being able to plan and create stuff for our members with such a fun and dedicated team like the one we have here! we have so much in store for everyone, and we just hope y’all are as excited as we are for the big things to come! 2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far?: for me specifically, it had to be my *first* trimester change as the head of graphics. i literally SLAVED lmfao over our Q4 2020 graphics, and it was so nice to see how much everyone enjoyed the roleplay’s makeover. plus, now that we’re getting closer and closer to Q1 2021, i’m both excited yet SUPER nervous about the aesthetics i want to put out for lgc in the new year! 3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!): character-wise, i can tell everyone is genuinely invested in their muses’ development and careers here. even though idol krps aren’t anything new, it’s such a breath of fresh air to be a part of a group where people want to see success with their muses from the very start to finish. mun-wise, it’s gotta be activity check sunday’s! seeing people’s live reactions to the queue is DEFINITELY the highlight of my week. 4) anything else you would like to mention?: we’re a small team here (but i swear it feels so much bigger!), and we dedicate a lot of our time in running lgc behind the scenes than in writing for our own characters. it can be a bit of a bummer and can definitely take a lot of muse and motivation out of you, but we’re always so appreciative of how considerate and thoughtful our members are of us. we’re not perfect—no one is!—but despite our flaws, it’s so inspiring to see a place (a home?) like lgc last for over a year and still be going on strong. and we can only thank you guys for all of that! so! thank you!

admin g, writer of @lgchanbyul, @lgcjaesun, and @lgcyumi says: 1) what is your favorite part about being a mod? i have a strange love for lists and stats, and so i actually really enjoy the administration part of being an admin. honestly, i would be the type of person to start a roleplay just to do the logistics lol. i enjoy helping to keep things neat and orderly, though admin a. has been doing a really great job of making my processes even better. my strong suits are not events or graphics, so i leave those tasks to the rest of the team. i think because of that, we make a really great team, and i just enjoy getting to see the fruits of our labor week after week and seeing people excited over them as well! 2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far? there are many memorable moments, of course, and this might sound silly … but probably when we received our first application that was not from one of our og staff members. frankly, when we started this group, we were fairly certain no one would want to join, especially with so many other great roleplays around, so to have watched it grow over these last 16 months has been pretty incredible! 3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!) i wish i could give a special shoutout to each person, but that will quite literally take me a year so i apologize that i’m taking the easy road out. i think the best part about our members is just their willingness to help, whether it be helping others understand the points process, what is needed for an event, or just any of the other logistics that might lead to confusion. it puts a smile on my face to see that teamwork and selflessness exhibited by so many of you. when we mention that we’re stressed, there is never a shortage of eager hands being raised to offer help, and we always appreciate that. i think it’s not easy being a big group, and it can be easy to feel left out, so i just continue to applaud those who really help to make people feel at home! 4) anything else you would like to mention? 2020 has certainly been a wild roller coaster ride, but it’s certainly been made better by getting to write and interact with all of our members. i hope that those i haven’t had a chance to write with yet that i will get to do so soon! thank you all for your continued support and i hope everyone has a happy holidays and a happy new year! may 2021 be a better year for all of us! thank you also to leaf for organizing this! you’re truly a trooper for putting together this special treat for our members ( and months ago for doing it for the admin staff as well )! always appreciate your thoughtfulness in spending the time to think of others. ❤️

admin a, writer of @lgcaeri, @lgceunhye, and @lgcsanghyun says: 1) what is your favorite part about being a mod? my favorite part is seeing people’s reactions to everything we do in lgc and using some of those elements to help build their character or celebrate their accomplishments. a good example of this are the events that have been revealed in the past and reading the reactions and feedbacks encourages us to think more about what kind of events we can make or improve on! 2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far? i’ve only been here for a short period so i can’t quite name a lot, but the one that i can think of on top of my head is during the end of the trimester. it’s usually the busiest time for us for several reasons, but it feels the most rewarding to me personally because behind the scenes, we really try to make sure that everything goes smoothly. add that everyone is so patient during those times and we really appreciate it! i personally want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for all of the positive messages and support you have sent to us! it really means a lot to us! ❤️ 3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!) i mentioned this previously in the one year anniversary post, but i would say it’s the community that has been created and developed over time. it’s gone through a lot and the fact that we’re still active now still shocks me sometimes! aside from that, i would also say reading through the solos and posts that we see on the dash (and yes, we see what is going on 👀). while there is so much that i don’t know about everyone’s muses, sometimes it’s nice to just sit back and see what everyone has been up to lately.

admin c, writer of @lgcxking and @lgcjin says: 1) what is your favorite part about being a mod? for me it’s seeing members get excited about events that we put out, and creating new canons based off them. i don’t think i would be able to keep being an admin if i didn’t feel this sense of wonder and excitement coming from everyone! 2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far? i’ve probably mentioned it way too often by now, but when we created lgc we expected it to die off after a couple weeks/months. we never expected to last so long and it wasn’t easy in the beginning, but after a while, i’d say around october/november, we started welcoming a lot of new muns that have become such an integral part of the rp. the fact that we’d have enough members to form a lot more than one group for each gender is amazing in itself. and the 2020 family concert really had me realize just how far we’ve come! to see all of those muns and muses experiencing it for the first time even though they’ve been in the rp for so long and achieved so much. 3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!) i don’t want to name anyone in particular because i’d want to talk about everyone and that’s impossible, but like i mentioned above, it amazes me whenever i see everything that the muses have achieved in a year. i think i realize now just how many events we put out LMAO. some muses are fairly new but are already on future dreams or lgc girls japan, others have begun acting, producing, hosting, etc. i always love to see the very detailed plan everyone has for their characters and even though it might take a while to happen ic, it’s important to set goals! some that might not even happen in a near lgc future, but it gives such life to muses. i also love seeing friendships form, relationships grow, suddenly being on dash and realizing that a muse FINALLY confessed to another, or sometimes just discovering important information through someone else because we can’t possibly read every single thread on dash (i’d love to, though, trust me). there’s a ton of people i haven’t interacted with yet on my muses, and i would sooo love to do it but with the amount of work that goes behind the scenes… let’s just say though that we love every single muse and i’m probably a bigger fan of them than you are!!!!! 4) anything else you would like to mention? small mention to you, leaf, for doing this! thank you for the love and care you put into these types of projects it’s very cute ;; we really liked getting messages from members last time too. also, to anyone reading this, just know that we’re glad you’ve decided to join us on this legacy journey!!!! why do i feel like i’m ending this too dryly but I LOVE YOU GUYS and thank you for all the support, patience, understanding and time investment <333

admin y, writer of @lgcjaehwa says: 1) what is your favorite part about being a mod? i'd say seeing members dropping random appreciation posts and messages would be my favorite part! there were times where i tend to overthink and become a mess. although it may just look like a simple ask, random messages like these really makes my day. 2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far? my first 'project'! its something i planned all by myself and to receive positive feedbacks makes me feel proud of it! i'm usually pessimistic when it comes to myself so this is really a big deal for me. this project is not out yet but will definitely be revealed in the future ;) 3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!) the best part is of course the community!! i never expect myself to stick to a rp for this long. there is this saying, 'the muns keep the rp running'. without you guys, lgc will not be where we are today! 4) anything else you would like to mention? i just want to say that although i'm not close with everyone, i do hope i can get to know more lovely people here! and i thank you guys for staying with us throughout this journey. i'm sure lgc will still continue to stand strongly for the months or even years to come <3

#lgckrp #✧ .・゜゜leaf talks

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zrtranscripts · 4 years ago

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Home Front, Mission 2: Jody’s Lock-In

Old Fashioned Lock-In

JODY MARSH: Okay, uh, I think this thing is on. Hello, everyone. This is uh, Abel Runner Four, or Jody, as some of you know me. I'm gonna be taking you through a few exercises in a bit, so while I'm babbling on, why don't you start getting yourself warmed up. Um, just swing your arms around, a little bit of jogging on the spot, whatever gets your blood flowing.

Um, so uh, as a lot of you probably know, there's some really awful stuff happening. Basically, a bunch of runners opened a warehouse full of zoms and now there's about a zillion extra undead swarming the countryside. Most of them are clustered around Abel, so advice to everyone in or near the town is to lock your doors and stay inside until the crisis passes.

It's funny. I used to love a good lock-in back in the day. There was this pub on my street, did them every weekend. It was great fun, even if you didn't drink. [laughs] We'd stay in the bar all night playing board games, chatting away.

Anyway, listeners, some of us runners were out in the field when the zoms got out. I managed to duck into a different warehouse in the same district, seal the shutters. Last I saw, the world outside was just a tidal wave of rotten flesh.

Not a bad spot to hole up, this. Used to belong to one of those big online delivery companies, so there's supplies for days. Janine come through, asked me to use the equipment here to broadcast, take some shifts off Sam. Guess it makes sense. This place has an old CD collection that'd move Phil Cheeseman to tears.

Oh, ah. I sprained my leg on the way in, listeners, so I can't really dance to this first song. Shame, cause it's a favorite, so do me a favor. If you can, dance to it for me. Just um, throw your hands up in the air and go wild like I would, or sit and wiggle your fingers if that's all you feel up to right now. It'd really cheer me up to picture people doing that. After all, just because we're stuck indoors doesn't mean we can't have fun.

JODY MARSH: Okay, well, that CD wasn't labeled right, listeners. It was supposed to be my favorite Snow Patrol album, not a mix tape, but hopefully you managed to bop along anyway. And the good news is I found a stack of painkillers the size of my body. I've been in touch with Dr. Myers. She says I'll be up and around again in no time with a little rest.

I tell you what, this warehouse, Sam is gonna go nuts when he sees it. There's about a thousand DVDs of Doctor Who, Blake's 7. Hey, and since I know you're probably listening, Sam, go to sleep. I know you want to be reassuring people 24/7, but Janine says you've got to rest while others are broadcasting.

This place must have really catered for the outdoor fitness crowd because there are loads of sports bras on the shelves. And speaking of sports, Dr. Myers gave me a list of activities to keep people healthy during lockdown. I'm supposed to give you a simple one to start with. How about, um, air punches? That sounds good.

Hold your arms out in front of you in the fighting stance, one fist protecting your face while the other is extended for an attack. Then punch the air, being careful not to fully extend or lock your elbows. You can always punch your pillow if you like, pretend it's a zom and you're getting it right in the squelchy bonce.

Just keep it up for as long as you can comfortably manage. Ready? Okay, it's time to beat the zoms to these banging beats. Oh my God, that was terrible, wasn't it? I am definitely getting more appreciation for the job that Phil and Zoe do.

JODY MARSH: Hello again, people. Hope you managed to work up a sweat there. I definitely took out my share of imaginary zoms there. It's funny, all this stuff in the warehouse just sitting here collecting dust. None of it is important. We can all get by without it. It's people that are important. That's why you've got to take care of yourselves, body and mind.

So next exercise from the list. I'm just going to pick one at random. Uh... [laughs] Right, step ups. Dr. Myers says they've been a big hit with Sam's audience. Don't worry if you've forgotten how. I'll recap. All you got to do is uh, find the bottom step of your home or a nice sturdy box that can support your weight. Be careful of using a box, though. I've tried this before and loads of them can overbalance. You want something that won't topple over easily, so make sure it's heavy and very stable.

Okay, got something? Now just uh, step onto the step, then step off of it. Simple. If you can't find yourself a good box, it says here you can raise yourself up on tiptoes slowly throughout the song. Hold it as long as you can, until your calves burn. Give it a go. Okay, so now you're going to try and keep that up for as long as you can at the briskest pace you can manage, and remember to vary which leg you step up and down with. I'll play some music to help you through it. And for anyone wondering, yeah, I picked this exercise because it mentioned boxes and I'm surrounded by them. Look, it's a long list, okay? I don't choose well under pressure. Okay, here we go. Get stepping!

JODY MARSH: [laughs] Welcome back, listeners. Hang on, give me a minute. I've just got to move this. Okay, I'll be straight with you. I'm not just wandering the shelves. Truth is, there's one window here that isn't covered, right near the ceiling. There's a shelf rack right next to it. I could climb up, peek out. If the zom horde's clustered near Abel, the coast outside might be clear. I can ride out on a delivery robot, find other trapped runners.

Yeah, I know Janine ordered me to stay put, but she's running herself ragged thinking up strategies. I've got to get out there, try to do more to help. Trouble is, I can't reach the rack's bottom shelf, not on these crutches, so I've been pushing bean bags and cushions into a big mound right under it. I should be able to pull myself up from the top of the pile. Hey, and since my arms'll be getting a workout, I think I know what should be next from Dr. Myer's list: chair dips.

Right, here's how they work. First, find a sturdy armless chair. Take your time looking. I'm busy making Mount Cushion. Got one? Don't worry if you haven't. You can go back to doing air punches instead. But if you have, sit on the front edge of the chair with your hands gripping the edge on either side of you. Your feet need to be flat on the ground a little way in front of you. Now slide your backside off the chair, raise yourself up and then down using your arms. Give one dip a try. See? Simple. If that was too easy, you can put your legs out in front of you so they don't take any of your weight. If it's too hard, you can use more force from your legs to push you up and down.

Okay, while I get ready to climb, you're gonna try those for 60 seconds if you can manage it, but don't push yourself so hard you get hurt. Ready? Then let's get chairlifting. That's 15 seconds. You're doing great. Halfway there, keep going. 45 seconds, nearly done. And stop. Bet you're feeling it now. Don't worry, I'll be feeling it myself soon.

So I can just reach the bottom shelf from here. I'm gonna pull myself up to the top of the rack one shelf at a time. It's only, uh, two or three dozen. Oh boy. Right. Just gonna queue up some more music first, and if you guys want to exercise with me, honestly, I'd really appreciate the company. Anyone who's feeling particularly buff can do more chair dips. Anyone else, how about a good old dance? Get ready, folks. On three. One, two, three, and go!

JODY MARSH: Hey there, listeners. Still with me? Just paused the music for a quick breather. Almost at the top shelf. God, my arms are aching, though. Shout-out to all of you working out at home and any of you listening, too. It's good to have people with me. Honestly, this great big storehouse is kind of spooky.

This is what being a runner's all about, you know. Supporting each other no matter what the challenge, facing adversity together even when we're apart. Speaking of which, I think it's time you did a bit more exercise. Ready for some more chair dips? Remember, sit on the edge of the chair, holding the sides, feet flat on the ground in front of you. Let's try for another 60 seconds, as long as you feel up to it.

Get set, and go! 15 seconds down. That's 30 seconds, halfway point. 45 seconds, hang in there. And you're done. Okay, the top shelf is really near. Just stick with me a little further. Why don't you try some more air punches while I'm at it, kill a few more invisible zoms for me? Let's go!

JODY MARSH: That's it, we did it. I'm at the top, listeners. Got to be at least 30 shelves beneath me. Just gonna, uh, scoot over to that window. Oh no. I thought the zoms would have all moved on by now. Janine says there are so many around Abel, but there's still dozens of shamblers roving the streets outside. I bet the noise in the main horde is attracting stragglers for miles. There's no way I'll be able to get through that. I guess Janine was right. The only thing I can do is to stay inside and broadcast.

On the bright side, well, that's about 100 beanbags right under me, so getting down ought to be easy. I'm just gonna uh, chuck you guys down before I, you know. Anyway, I'll uh, I'll meet you down there. Ready? Here I come. Wahoo! Okay, [laughs] that kind of cheered me up. Landed right in the middle of the pile. Just goes to show, folks, even in the worst times, there are ways to have fun. Though uh, don't try that one at home, eh? Stick to the Doc's approved exercises. I think this lockdown could go on for a while, people. We're gonna have to stay strong. On the plus side, Dr. Myers has plenty more activities to help with that.

Damn it, the power on this transmitter is fading. But don't worry, listeners. There's uh, there's got to be some batteries around here to charge it with. I'll be back soon, and in the meantime, I've heard a few other runners have got their hands on some broadcasting equipment, so don't go anywhere. This is Jody Marsh saying stay safe out there, people. We'll get through this, and we'll get through it together, no matter how long it takes. That's an Abel runner promise.

#zombies run #zr home front #zrhf2 #jody's lock-in #zr transcript

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bbq-hawks-wings · 5 years ago

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Art reposting etiquette

I see art theft happen a lot, and whether or not it's true or has just been happening more frequently in the circles I follow I can't help but at least feel like it's becoming more and more of a problem.

To be clear, "reposting" is downloading art from a website that you did not make or own, and uploading it as a separate post, regardless of where and how it's presented - with notable exception of header and profile pictures assuming they are not trying to imitate the artist. Not all art theft is reposting, but all improper reposting is art theft.

As cut and dry as "stop art theft it's bad, don't repost art" posts make it sound, there are several benevolent reasons people may want to repost such as:

Believing they are spreading the artist's influence around the internet

Adding intrigue or a visual aid to a fanfiction

Sharing some neat art they thought was really cool

Just to name a few

Assuming the best in people, these are not necessarily bad reasons and DON'T MAKE PEOPLE BAD, but many often don't understand there's a dark side to the reposting issue.

People who may want more art may be unable to find the original creator

People may not realize that the artist makes rent with the very artwork you're enjoying and they may be looking at stolen premium content meant to put food on the table

People take art and further edit it so that it becomes even harder to trace back to the original

Malicious websites and bots find popular fanart and illegally use it to produce bootleg merch. This has a double-whammy effect when someone sees the merch IRL when out and about and wants it because it's cool art of their favorite character but don't realize the artist is actively being robbed.

Reposting art makes it harder for the artist to track down the thief and take legal action as well as actively funnels traffic away from their business. By and large it should always be assumed that reposting for any reason is damaging to the artist's wellbeing; and frankly, if you don't care you're actively hurting someone, it makes you the asshole, not me for calling you out.

But, that isn't to say reposting is NEVER allowed, but ONLY UNDER EXTREMELY SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES. That's the point of this post.

Before you can decide if you should even attempt to repost art, check these things first:

If it says directly on the art "do not repost" don't waste your time. They are not going to make an exception for you.

Check to see if the art is already on the platform you're planning to upload to (especially here on Tumblr). Often, artists make it a point to put their work in very specific locations for their own reasons. They may not want their work on your website at all and you need to respect that.

Gain the artist's explicit permission after explaining where you want to repost their work, which work you want to repost, and why with how you plan to credit them. If you gain permission, keep a copy of the conversation for your own protection. If you do not gain permission, don't repost at all.

If you gain permission to repost art, these things are an absolute necessity:

Mention of the artist's name

THEIR main platform of choice

link to the original piece used

It would likely look something like this:

Artwork uploaded with express permission by @[artist] on [website], found here - (hyperlinked to original piece)

Bonus information to include:

Additional social media handles of the artist

Link to the artist's Patreon and/or Ko-Fi if available

Link to artist's store if available

Hyperlinking the image itself so other users can just click it to find the work/artist

Remember reposting should be about the artist, NOT YOU. You didn't create the work, and even if you supported them via Patreon it still doesn't belong to you, nor are you entitled to it. A commission you personally paid for is the only piece of work of that artist's creation you are ever entitled to unless otherwise stated in a contract when you bought it.

To continue to cover my bases I'm going to address some stances that may pop up about the issue:

"I didn't know reposting was that bad!"

It's okay. That's why I made this post. In general, as a supportive fan and consumer you should try to learn how artists are rewarded for their work on different platforms. YouTube is different from Instagram is different from Facebook is different from Tumblr. Learn which best ways to support your favorite artists in the ways that are most beneficial to them, even if all they ask for is respect and a little appreciation. And do take down any art you may have reposted. It can continue to do damage by remaining up, but removing it almost always mitigates any future harm and genuinely helps. Now you know better and can be better moving forward!

"I can't get ahold of the artist for permission."

Don't repost it then. Remember, at the end of the day reposting is only good for the reposter in fake internet points or actual money/intellectual property stolen but always tangibly hurts the artist. It sucks, but they have a right to determine where and how their hard work is displayed.

"Whatever, I'll do what I want. Lol"

Enjoy your takedown. Hey, artists, did you know you can find each website's terms of service and figure out how to submit a report with the offending post and user, and they're usually good about getting it down within days?! Look for "misappropriation" that's your ticket! 😊

But seriously, repeat offenders can get permanently banned from sites and even sued for actual real-world money and damages over your precious fake internet points. It actually pays to not be an ass!

"But I just want to support the artist and reposting is so easy!"

You know what's even easier?

It's literally only one or two clicks to support the artist or tell them how much you love their work! Most other platforms make supporting content creators just as easy, and some platforms even PAY the creators based on them or enable them to grasp opportunities to be paid!

"But I don't want to bog down my followers with a huge reblog dump of one person's stuff."

Put it in queue to space it out, then.

"I don't have money to support the artist so I repost instead to give them exposure."

Time and time again it's been proven that reposting actively funnels money AWAY from them. You don't have to monetarily support them with much. Buy one thing from their store or give them $1 on Ko-Fi. If you can't even do that, tell them you love their stuff and shout to the rooftops where someone else can pay them; but don't make it harder for them to get paid. Too many artists "die of exposure."

"Why do you even care?"

I AM an artist. I currently support artists with real money monthly because I love their work. I only ever make money off my own art on commissions, and that relies on people being able to find me. I'm not even the one supporting my two children, husband, pet, and medical expenses with only this option to pay for it, and you bet your butt I still would be pissed if I ever found out my art had been misappropriated. Some people do this to SURVIVE and I want to see that those who do have as little unnecessary struggle with it as possible.

"It's fanart/fan content put on the internet for free I can do whatever I want with it!"

At least in North America the law says you can't. Did you know that the way laws are currently written, if someone takes a picture of you and finds a way to make money off that photo they don't owe you a dime? They hold the copyright to it. When art is displayed publicly, that copyright is not surrendered and is automatically afforded to the artist by virtue of it being their specific expression and work. By being their work, they can actually sue you for stealing their property.

Ask Disney, they're really good at it.

And to close this out I want to say one more thing: the internet has changed a LOT in the time I started browsing from the early 2000's. Rules are different, cultures are different, and for younger people especially you may not understand how some have had to (and still do) fight tooth and nail over this internet space and still make it.

If you didn't know all this, THAT'S OKAY! You're learning, and the internet is more or less a wild west right now. That means it's equal opportunity to be a killing field or a place we can lift up and support each other. Reposting is just one corner of the bad things that can come of it, but now you know how to help and even start reversing the damage.

Learn about how people who upload free content make money. When you find misappropriated work, report them to the site and try to inform the artist - don't even acknowledge the thief, just slap a ticket on them and move on. Teach others how and why reposting is bad and what they can do to help.

If you love free content, show respect and protect it. Otherwise, artists will have to put it behind a paywall and that content you loved will disappear over time. Respect will get you a much greater return than entitlement.

#she speaks #this is meant to be educational not a callout post #do not harrass anyone you find reposting art #never do it - you here me!!!#i see it all the time #stop it #and if you reposted it's ok #i'm not after you #i just want you to know and learn

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hisgirlwonder · 6 years ago

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East to West - Part Two

Length: 2.6K words Warning: Sadness, angst, Michael being an asshole, etc Synopsis: Palos Verdes called your name from the moment Michael suggested the move there. Would it live up to your expectations or would it be the beginning of the end? You were soon to find out. Notes: To everyone asking for the second part - here you go! I’ve been so off course with writing after everything that has happened lately. Writing non-smut things is kind of difficult but I tried. I’m building up somewhat of a story before I get into the full on stuff. Enjoy ♥

The dining room is quiet and the only thing to break the stillness was cutlery hitting the porcelain as food is being devoured. Sandy commends you on how delicious it was to which you take a stab at Michael and mention how it was takeaway, side-eying him as you do so. Phil sips at his beer and admits they both enjoy a good burger more than they should. You shoot a very brief smirk at Michael before smiling sweetly at your new friends.

“Michael was a little apprehensive about it but I said no babe, I got this,” you tell them with hand gestures and all, ridiculing your husband in the kindest yet subtlest way possible. They both laugh but you know Michael is less than enthused and he clears his throat to derail you from mocking him any further. He invites Phil to join him in the workshop and Phil, of course, obliges. The pair leave the room and head towards the workshop to play with Michael’s new toys.

Then there were two.

“Such a beautiful view,” Sandy notes in an effort to perforate the silence. You’re on the balcony, leaning over the edge, and admiring the world before your eyes. You were in agreement with her and proudly claim the second seeing the house you knew it was the one.

“Phil told me you’re into art. You know, I think you should come to one of our art classes. It’s really great for meeting new people and it means we can spend a little more time together.”

“I think that would be a fantastic idea. I’ll get your number off Michael and we can organise something.”

“Oh, Y/N, you should meet Jim and Medina. I mean, Jim is busy a lot of the time but I really think it would be good for you. I understand how lonely it gets.”

You laugh to try and hide and distract yourself from what she just said. I understand how lonely it gets. Did she, did she really? Nobody else seemed as unhappy and mismatched in their marriage as you were. You paint a fake smile on your face and distract her with a joke about how it sounds as if you need an appointment to see them.

“Basically. But, onto more important things, tell me about you. I want to hear it from your own words and not a man’s perspective.”

“Well,” you begin, peering down at the band on your ring finger before continuing, “My mother would say I was a wild child. You know, the free-spirited, chameleon soul, lover of the arts and nature, type.”

“Wow. That’s beautiful. Can you promise me one thing? Promise me you’ll never lose that.”

“It’s just so hard being married to a person who seems to against everything that fills your heart with joy.”

Sandy wraps an arm around you and squeezes you in reassurance; almost like she knew what to do or say when you needed it most. Most people would spin some overused line and compare it to their own lives, but not Sandy. You already knew she was different.

“I’ve been trying to put my finger on it since I saw you and I’ve finally figured it out. You remind me so much of my Jim. If you need a buddy I’m sure he’d love to help you get acquainted with Palos.”

She pulls away and moves back to where she was, looking at you to take in everything you’re feeling. There’s another moment of silence but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Sandy rubs on your arm but doesn’t make a fuss because she doesn’t want you feeling embarrassed.

The tender moment is broken by Michael and Phil returning. Phil shoots Sandy the same look Michael gives you when he wants to leave a place without being rude. She picks up on it because she looks at her watch and says they better be going. A hand grabs of hers grabs one of yours in some kind of display of solidarity and looks at you in a way where you know exactly what she was saying. Her lips stayed shut, but her eyes said I’m here if you need me.

You try to show her your gratitude but Michael interrupts, saying he’ll take them out and tells you to go to bed because you seem tired. He wasn’t wrong – you were tired but it wasn’t for lack of sleep.

As the dishwasher is loaded with the last of the dishes, Michael tries to play nice by commenting that he knew you’d like them. This was him trying to uphold his dominance by enforcing he was right but you won’t give in and speak with enthusiasm about going to the class.

“See what I said? It’ll be good for you.”

Another comment about how he was right. Another comment to try and reiterate the fact that he was in charge and that you were still under his thumb. Refusing to give him the satisfaction of blowing up in his face right now, you throw a dishwashing tablet in the cutlery basket then close its door and turn on the machine.

“Sandy also suggested that I hang out with Jim because we’re so similar,” you admit, all the while trying to simmer yourself down.

“Really, Y/N? He’s nineteen.”

“I’m only twenty-five. What’s your point?”

You’re wanting to laugh and scream at yourself for thinking the rest of tonight would be even a little relaxing. Michael glares at you in disappointment. You bite the inside of your lower lip to stop yourself from clenching your jaw in anger.

“Can’t you grow up? I didn’t know I was going to marry someone who had no purpose.”

These few days had been full of all kinds of insults, both in actions and in words, and this one happened to struck deeply because Michael knew finding your purpose was what mattered to you. You didn’t want to give him the joy of seeing how bad so you leave the room before saying or doing something you would regret.

Let’s meet at my favourite spot on the beach in an hour. Let’s see if you can guess where it is. – J

The elation you felt from first reading that becomes intercepted with dread when you see it was sent almost an hour ago. You send him a quick reply and rush to jump out of bed; almost slipping over as your feet met the ground. After you’re dressed and look mildly presentable, you grab the acoustic guitar sitting near the bed and run down the stairs towards the front door, scoop your keys out of the bowl, and away you go.

The drive to the beach didn’t take too long thankfully and you weren’t that late. You figured you’d try your own favourite spot and, sure enough, there he was; standing near the benches by the food stands. You tap him on the shoulders with a finger and he turns around, greeting you with that same smile when the two of you met.

“Someone’s prepared,” you tease, pointing at the basket and rolled up blanket on the seat.

With the blanket under his arm and with his other free hand picks up the wicker basket, he jokes that some people need to be while others sleep in. You pretend to act shocked he’d say something like that to you but if you were in his position you’d joke the same.

“Before you ask, I don’t want any help. Go walk over to that tree and I’ll be over in a second with this stuff.”

“Fruit?” James asks, holding out a plate in front of you.

“You did all of this for me?”

“Bold of you to assume I’m not a man who likes a picnic by the beach,” he playfully teases.

The two of you laugh and begin conversing like old friends who had known each other for a while. Things were going great until he brought up the M word. You can’t help him for not knowing that marriage was a difficult subject for you but he was soon to find out.

You give your best attempt at trying to convince him it was great but he says you won’t be winning any Oscars.

“Look, I’m not here for you to sit and listen to me complain about something that isn’t anything to do with you. But, if you must know, I’m with someone who hates everything I love. Before you ask, we got married because we were young and I guess it felt like the right thing to do.”

The last of the fruit is quickly finished and you’re not looking at him but you can feel him looking at you. When you look up, you see those big eyes on you like you’re the only thing that mattered in that instant.

“Alright, your turn.”

“It’s nothing really. My parents, mostly my dad, want me to go to college, but all I want to do is surf and play music. I don’t care what I do as long as I have those two things.”

“You sound exactly like me. Maybe one day we’ll have everything we’ve dreamed of. Until then, we’ll have guitar lessons and hopefully meeting strangers who change our lives.” This was the queue for the two of you to play music instead of moping around over your lives.

James tells you to sit on the seat so he can pack everything up and you try to help but he refuses. His excuse for not letting you do anything is because you just gave him a guitar lesson. He comes over where you’re sitting with a fifty in his hand and shoves it in your shirt pocket as he’s walking over in the direction of the shops. He spins around on his heels when he’s a few paces ahead, walking backwards, pointing to you and shaking his finger, then spins back around. You run to catch up and realise just how natural things felt with him. Why did it not feel like this with Michael? Since arriving in Palos Verdes you forgot what two people enjoying their time together was like.

While you’re standing outside the café on the beach James asks you if you want some real food. You sling your guitar over your shoulder by the strap and admit that you guess it would be okay; you were being playful but your stomach was thankful.

“At least let me hold something,” you beg, looking at James trying to work out how he was going to open the door with one hand holding the basket and the other arm around the blanket. He gives in and hands you the blanket.

The moment after you sit down in a booth by the window the smell of food fills your nostrils and shows you just how hungry you are.

“My assumptions tell me you want a burger and fries, right? But you also want cheese on there. Maybe a van- no, chocolate shake? I know you haven’t read the menu but I have a gift for reading people.”

“You shouldn’t make assumptions…… but yes, you are correct.”

James rises to his feet and you try to give back the fifty dollars. He pushes your hand away and tells you that he wants to pay; his excuse was that he invited you here.

When you watch him paying at the counter you realise that you felt strangely at peace despite being in a place full of people; as if being with James calmed the rest of the world around you.

“This is perfect and exactly what I needed.”

“Do you want to talk?”

“You’re not going to let up until I do, are you?”

He smirks and shakes his head. It felt good albeit weird that someone was caring about you enough to allow you to unload onto them. You didn’t want to ruin the moment but you were bursting at the seams to get it out.

“He just... He just… He makes me feel like dirt. Like I’m nothing. I don’t understand where I’ve gone wrong. We used to be so happy but maybe I’m kidding myself.”

“Really?”

The waitress brings over a tray with your food and shakes on it. It appears that the two of you got exactly the same food, which was no surprised, and your stomach rejoiced as you took the first few mouthfuls of your burger.

“Really. The most recent issue is that he doesn’t want me hanging out with our friend’s kid because we’re a few years apart in age.”

You take a minute, sip down some of your drink, and continue.

“Oh, and that I needed to grow up. Apparently, I act as if I have no purpose because I want to play the guitar and like the beach.”

James reaches a hand out to comfort you and it feels so foreign. It’d been forever that Michael had actually touched you out of compassion or care. The last time he properly had a hand on you was when he tried to pull you back by your wrist and you didn’t dare entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe, one day he might hit you.

“Don’t let him make you feel bad. I know it’s easier said than done but he’s not worth your heart hurting.”

You try to force the emotions that are coming up back down and detract the conversation; focusing it elsewhere and pressing about what might be bothered him.

“Well…” he begins. Your eyes stay fixed and watch as James picks up a couple of fries out of the basket in between the two of you and dips it in his shake then eats them like it was no big deal. “There are a few things.”

It makes you laugh because you always thought you were the only one who did that. You follow suit but instead of dipping them into your drink, you dip it into his. You cheekily wink and he has this facial expression that says you’ll keep.

“Parentals are all about me getting a degree, and working in the business world. But that’s not me, you see? Like I said earlier I’d love to run the place I’m working at and give surfing lessons on the side.” He pauses briefly to click his fingers before resuming, “Or give drum lessons. Did I tell you I play them? Yeah, I’d love to teach that. I’ve been playing for almost ten years now.”

It was eerie how the situations were almost mirrored. Sure, he wasn’t dealing with a husband but he did have two very loving, very caring parents by the sound of it and sometimes that could be more stressful than a marriage where one person refuses to talk to the other.

“You know something, Y/N? This is all so surreal but it reminds me of something one of my friends taught me.”

“And what is that?”

He starts to speak a language that you recognised; how the universe brings humans into each other’s lives for a reason. You wondered why he came into yours but deep down already knew.

Taglist: @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sensitivethot @sammythankyou @taintedaffairs @langdonsdemon @sacredlangdon @queencocoakimmie @violett124 @1-800-bitchcraft @wroteclassicaly // Also adding in: @sodanova @itsyagirl01, @hannahdanyelle, @katerina-marie

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magistralucis · 6 years ago

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Ed Banger House Party @ Electric Brixton, 25 Jan 2019 [Review]

😍 Fucking fantastic you funky little Frenchmen... 😍

This was a very wild night. I can’t quite believe I survived it, even as I finish off writing thousands of words about it. It’s probably the most detailed review of a concert or show I have done to this date. I finally saw Sebastian in the flesh, was treated to over eight hours of sweet sweet music, and feel that I have begun my Ed Banger-related pursuits for this year in the perfect way.

And the loot. The sweet, sweet loot.

Read on for more. Mobile users, be warned this is a very long post.

The Journey

If you’ve read my other gig reviews you know the drill: I don’t live in London, have to commute there from wherever I’m living at the moment, London is difficult to navigate. But I had no trouble with my journeys this time, there were no Underground closures, and this venue was exactly the same one as the TBB show two years ago. Nothing to report there, only that I give props to our driver. There was an accident on the motorway, about 25 mins into a 2hr 20min journey. He took us on a thirty-mile detour to avoid the scene of the crash and still got us to London in time. If you’ve ever been on a National Express coach, you know what a big deal that is.

That wasn’t the only accident we stumbled upon in our journey, somewhere in Croydon (part of Outer London for non-UK readers) there was an altercation between two drivers and something like thirty police officers were present. It is rare to see that many police officers on scene for a single collision, so I wonder whether something more sinister was going on. All of them were wearing fluorescent vests and they reflected the light of the traffic most gloriously for a ten-meter stretch of the pavement. It was very attention-catching. I like to think they shared the same general sentiment of (o_o ) when they looked over and saw an entire busful of people goggling at them, but that’s neither here nor there. It was around 8:30PM when I got to London, and I spent some time lingering in the train station before making my way to Brixton.

I like queuing up early. I had no idea what I was going to find there.

9:20~PM: If you follow Thibaut on insta you might have seen this.

This instastory. It’s not obvious, but these three were far from the only ones in this picture. I know this because I FUCKING WALKED IN ON THIS PHOTOSHOOT. THESE THREE WERE NOT THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE. THIS WAS A VIP GROUP SHOT SESSION WITH 25+ PEOPLE OUTSIDE ELECTRIC BRIXTON AND I NEARLY BARGED IN AMONGST THEM LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT

I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! ;A ;

I’ve met my favourite bands spontaneously. Gone for signings. Received compliments from Rammstein. I’ve shaken hands with Xavier. But I’ve never just happened upon an entire group of my favourite people engaged in a situation not meant for ordinary fans. I was honestly more terrified than elated. I knew they were VIPs because they (all DJs included) had blue wristbands on which allowed continued re-entry into the club, instead of the usual red club stamp on the back of the hand. Later in the show I recognized two of those people as stage photographers. Pedro was closest to me, Irfane passed by (he had very vivid eyes, even under poor lighting), and around the right-hand side Thibaut was putting his arm around Sebastian. I may have seen Vladimir Cauchemar unmasked. Shit was surreal.

This could potentially have been a good place to greet Sebastian zdravo. Unfortunately there’s a time and place for such things, and a VIP photo session I wasn’t involved in was not one of them. (Electric Brixton isn’t known for facilitating after-show fan meets either, due to the club’s structure and how everyone has to be herded out at the end.) Even if it were just the Ed Banger folks milling around, I'm not sure if I’d have been able to approach them in this case. ‘Cause ultimately, I am just an Animal Experiencing Fear, and I was caught so off guard; I stepped back and pretended I had nothing to do with the area. At least that way I could gather my thoughts and continue to observe.

I can tell you this entire moment took five minutes from 9:23pm to 9:28pm, but only because I checked my phone later. I didn’t want to take it out in the moment because I got paranoid they’d think I was a creep. As the phones and cameras were put away and normal conversation resumed I looked up and saw Sebastian five steps in front of me.

You know that recent Seb + Vinco picture. Hang on I’ll find it. You know the look Seb has in that pic?

That. That is his actual gaze. That is what Seb actually looks like when he has nothing to pose for and nobody to speak to. Unless something mind-boggling was happening in the empty space several feet away from where I was standing, that’s his normal nothing-to-see-here expression. At one point we met eyes. I think he blinked like once. You can’t tell his eyes are blue even from a short distance. He looked down, exhaled vape smoke, and bit his lip. Then someone (Myd?) ushered him into the open doors. And that’s how I accidentally stumbled upon the Forbidden Ed Banger Content, and while I was excited at what I saw, I think I’d prefer a do-over in the future. When they’re not all engaged in other business, when I have a pen and an adequate surface, and when I am not a fool with poor timing.

Also Sebastian was not as tall as I thought he was, but also far from short; Irfane was taller than I thought, but visibly shorter than Thibaut; Thibaut was taller than I thought, but no match for Pedro, whose height continues to boggle my mind. I have seen all of those people before, save for Sebastian. Pedro I have seen multiple times, with multiple people, in multiple contexts. Yet I still have no grasp of how tall anybody is in this label.

I don’t know what that implies about my visualization skills. At this point, I’m too scared to find out.

9:33PM: I’m going with this timestamp because that’s when I noted down that security cleared out completely with the VIPs, closing the front doors behind them. A girl comes up near me and stares at the venue, the ‘Ed Banger Records’ written in lights, then at the queue barriers (not open) for some time before turning to me. There were maybe five people altogether waiting.

Girl: Excuse me, is this the queue for people with tickets?

Me: I don’t know. We might be queuing to find out where the queue is.

Girl: [To a freshly emerged security guard, holding a sandwich.] Excuse me, do you know if there’ll be tickets at the door?

Security guard: [Incomprehensible - he’s speaking at close distance and a bus is freshly pulling up behind me, so I can’t hear them. He goes inside and shuts the door as soon as he says his piece.]

Girl: He doesn’t know. What am I going to tell my friends.

Me: Oh my God did you not get tickets.

Girl: My friends did! I was meant to get in early and get the drinks and stuff oh my God I DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE GOING TO BE SOLD OUT 😰

Me: DIDN’T THEY SAY THERE WOULD BE A LIMITED RELEASE THOUGH 😰

By this time we’re both mired in anxiety.txt and others were coming forwards with the same experience. A group of three girls who got there shortly after me were all waiting for door tickets, and a guy came along who had a ticket for himself but was trying to get his friend (Asian girl, very pretty) in. (I will see this friend repeatedly throughout the show, but not the dude.) Eventually we looked up what the Electric Brixton website had to say, and gathered that a very limited number of tickets were available and they were all here at the right time to purchase it. As far as I know, everyone there got in without trouble.

First release tickets were £15.00. Later I was told it was £25.00 at the door.

Yeesh.

9:50PM: They finally open up the queue barriers. I’m fourth. Several of us in the line take a poll on who we’re here to see:

Pedro: ///

Breakbot: //

Sebastian: ////

Riton: /

Vladimir:

Myd: /

‘Everyone’: //

‘I’m here because of my friends’: /

The girl in the above section answered with the last one. Ed Banger rookie. Writing this now, I’m sure she had the time of her life.

I say Sebastian. Two guys in front of me nod sagely. One of them wears a Woman Worldwide T-shirt and a Justice logo jacket. We mutually express wonder that Seb’s, like. Doing anything again. At this point, however, the queue is split into two: ticketed and buying at the door, on the opposite end of the entrance. The girl and I say farewells as she departs for the latter. Unfortunately, I do not get to see her again. It’s a shame. She was lovely.

9:55PM: Security emerges with QR code readers and club stamps and starts to call us in go go go go go go go go

9:58~PM: The bouncer initiating pat down pauses over my portable battery for a very long time, seemingly considering whether that’s legal. Fuck my life. Eventually, though, he lets me in and I s p r i n t for the bar.

It has begun.

A note before I start: like the XOYO gig review last year, this review has been composed via rough notes, photos, and videos I took through the show. It was a longer night than last year, and everyone played for a lengthy period of time; this review is thus split into six sections, one for each DJ, including timestamped observations and photos/gifs of the night.

The gifs are taken from my own videos. Unfortunately, Electric Brixton’s setup made photography difficult for three reasons: 1) an abundance of flashing lights, 2) the elevation difference between the dancefloor and the DJ booth, unlike in XOYO where there was no audience-DJ divide, and 3) smoke machines, as well as actual vapers in the form of Sebastian Akchoté. Those three things make a mess onscreen, so images are potato quality compared to where I was (front center). This was a constant problem during the night, so instead of complaining about it with every DJ, I’ll just refer to this as the I Cannot See For Shit (ICSFS) syndrome and call it a day.

Busy P (10PM to 11:50~PM)

10PM: Mother fucking sons of bitches raised the price of water!

As mentioned in the TBB review, a 500ml bottle of water at Electric Brixton was £3.00 in 2017. (Even in 2019, at a supermarket it can be as little as 55p/500ml.) Harsh, but it is what you’d expect from London. But when I came back they’d raised it to a whopping £3.60. You could buy yourself a meal with that kind of money, albeit a small one, even for London. Disgusting.

But what can you do with something as necessary as water. I did expect it. I’m sore about it, is all.

10:05PM: Restroom visited, water bought and tucked into bag, jacket tied around waist. I was wearing armwarmers. I take my place by the barriers, front row center, with a guy on my left and an empty space on my right. Left-hand arrangement will not change during the night, while on the right it will be chaos.

10:10PM: Very superstitious / nothin' more to say / very superstitious / the devil's on his way / thirteen month old baby / broke the lookin' glass / seven years of bad luck / good things in your past

This is my first video of the night. Might upload it later.

10:21PM: USE IMAGINATION 💫 AS A DESTINATION 💘 USE IMAGINATION 💫 AS A DESTINATIoOoON 💘 USE IMAGINATION AND COME CLooOoOSER 👄✨ 👄 FOREVER BEEEEE 😘 😘💋

‘Pleasure’ summons the two dudes I was talking to in the queue to my right, especially the Justice fan guy. They stuck with me through Pedro’s set.

10:30~PM: Pedro looks a lot happier than he did at XOYO last year. He’s interacting a lot with fans, smiling, bopping about the way we have all come to expect from him.

10:40PM: I see the first glimpse of another DJ hanging around at the back. It’s Myd, drinking in a corner.

10:50PM: Is that what I think it is. I think it’s what I think it is

10:51PM: POP THE GLOCK THE GLOCK YOU POP IF YOU OUTTA LINE IT’S YOU I’LL BANG POP POP THE GLOCK THE GLOCK YOU POP IF YOU OUTTA LINE IT’S YOU I’LL BANG POP

Fantastic to hear some Uffie in the mix. I missed her so damn much. I think I might upload that clip as well because I want to share the experience with y’alls.

10:54PM: Thibaut jitterbugs into the scene. The lighting’s too bad for a photo so I post about it on the hellsite instead.

11:19PM: The display in front of the DJ booth has remained constant until this point, displaying the Ed Banger logo with only the occasional change in lighting. But now the display suddenly starts changing. Check it out.

It got really trippy with Breakbot.

11:29PM: ‘Genie’ comes on. I can see Thibaut and Irfane at the back now, ready to take over. I take my first drink since I entered the club.

11:52PM: HE PUT ON ‘BURNIN’. HE ACTUALLY DID THAT.

Pedro picks up the mic at this point and greets us for the first time during the night. I have what he said on video but it’s hard for me to transcribe it over all the audience noise, it might have to be an upload later on; I have videos of most DJ-DJ segues of this night, so hopefully that should be an interesting exercise. According to the timestamp on this video, 11:52-53PM is when Thibaut put on the headphones and took over from Pedro, but he continues to linger

11:55PM:

just so he can cOMPLETELY LOSE HIS SHIT APPARENTLY.

Breakbot (Thibaut and Irfane) (11:50~PM to 1:30AM)

12:00AM: At midnight Thibaut and Irfane take over fully with ‘Break of Dawn’. There’s something wild about listening to people sing a song with no lyrics (da DA DA DA darararaRA).

12:05AM: Irfane was on serious mode all night. I’ve also realized that the light situation is not going to get better; if it was Pedro alone I could have forgotten about it, but Breakbot’s set was where the ICSFS got really, really bad. There are so many photos where I tried to capture beautiful moments between Thibaut and Irfane, as they were quite touchy with one another (not as much as they were at XOYO tho), and yet it all turned to shit. I’m so sad.

12:10~AM: The two dudes to the right of me leave. The music is most funky fresh and the smoke machines are on max, so much I cannot actually see either of the DJs on scene. A girl wearing light blue takes over to my right.

I think Electric Brixton has reached full capacity. It’s not a big venue, fitting only about 2000 people or so, but I can feel it in the air. I look behind me and all around me are unfamiliar faces, packed tightly in a crowd. It’s hot. I take off my armwarmers and cram them into my bag.

12:16AM: Irfane baby I love you but that was not a smooth segue.

(I don’t actually know what song he was on but the music like. Stopped 100% for a second. It didn’t sound intentional.)

12:25AM: I have a note on my phone that says ‘12:25 Pedro making heart’. I have no memory of this. Fangirl magistralucis what are your secrets.

12:30AM: you 😍💖 are all I think about 😍✨😍✨😍 keep me sulking and down 😘👇🏼 but you fill me with 🔥 so much 🔥 emotion 😳💖😳 and I’ll show my 🙏🏼🕊💐 devotion 💐🕊🙏🏼 to you ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

12:31AM: I cannot see for shit. Here have a light show I guess.

12:36AM: Dance, dance with me / Life's a fantasy / Stand next to me / Like ecstasy

12:48AM: Irfane puts on ‘Funkytown’. Thibaut dances beautifully. I’ll drink to that.

12:51AM:

What the hell is this?

1:07AM: Extra, extra, read all about it! The Mysterious Ninth Planet, located at last! Turns out it was in the hands of funky Frenchmen all along, who were hoarding not just the ninth planet, but ALL THE PLANETS

1:08AM: You may have seen what was happening during the above in Irfane’s instastory, actually. He put on ‘Le Freak’. I wonder whether I should upload this clip from where I was.

1:10AM:

?????

1:20AM: Pedro comes back into view. I try to film him but it doesn’t work out, and for once it had nothing to do with ICSFS. The girl to the right of me, who was rocking out for all of Breakbot’s set, is beginning to slump over on the railing. "Are you okay?” I call, but I don’t think she heard. From how rapidly it came on, how she could barely stand during the first five minutes of VC’s set, and how frantically her and her friends left afterwards (she could barely walk), it is quite possible she was going into diabetic shock. She did not return.

This is a known issue. You generally cannot bring food into London clubs, even if you’re diabetic. Electric Brixton had a complaint two years ago that a diabetic person was not permitted to bring in their food to prevent this exact thing happening. I hope whatever she had wasn’t that serious, but. I do wonder.

This leads to a note about security, I suppose. There were none up front by the barriers. There was no one to call for help to, except for maybe the stage photographers, and that’s not what they’re trained to do. People who were falling sick or too inebriated to stand would have benefited from having security help them beyond the barrier straight away, instead of having to wade their way back through a tight crowd.

This continued to be a problem.

1:20~AM: Vladimir Cauchemar is visible. He doesn’t have the skull mask on, but with something smooth concealing his face, kind of like the Taikobots of Danger’s Taiko-era set. When he takes over he has put the mask on.

Vladimir Cauchemar (1:30AM to 2:30AM)

1:30AM: I gotta say, VC was the easiest and the best to photograph in this show, and I both respect and resent that fact.

VC’s lighting stayed a consistent red and black through his set, similar to how it was at XOYO, and the clearest images I have of the night are of him. I’m still not over his collab with 6**9*** so my impression of him isn’t out of the woods yet, which is why my notes for him are brief.

I tell you what, though. He got the crowd going. VC was the first DJ to get the dude standing to the left of me dancing, and this is the dude who stayed the entire eight hours of the night by my side while on my right people faded in, faded out, barged into places. (Dude was holding out for Sebastian, but stuck around for all of Myd as well.) His set had serious limitations - the most gregarious sin of which I’ve noted down below - but he had a great stage personality. I have very mixed feelings.

Still didn’t prevent me from standing out certain songs to go on Russian duolingo, but that was my pride.

1:35AM: ‘Aulos’ comes on. I will upload that video because I might as well, I’ve little else videoed for VC. Someone taps my shoulder. It’s the friend of the dude whom I encountered outside, the Asian girl. “Can I put this here?” She calls, and places her coat down beyond the barrier; there are steps on the other side where you can place your drinks, bags, coats etc if you’re front row. She withdraws behind me afterwards, and when I next look back, she’s gone.

1:40AM: I’m honestly surprised how many people are digging VC’s set. He was not first choice for anyone I asked.

1:51AM: Vladimir, Aulos is great but not twice in the same set.

2:00AM: Third drink of the night. My legs are getting numb. The first 3-4 hours of a set are always the hardest. I don’t remember what VC was playing. At several points he played Michael Jackson but I have no record of when. I stood still to rest my legs and distracted myself with other pursuits.

2:18AM:

Hi I’m in this photo and I don’t like it.

2:26AM: VLADIMIR. AULOS IS GREAT, BUT NOT THRICE IN THE SAME SET.

This. This is the major problem with his set. I know it’s his biggest hit, but VC exploits ‘Aulos’ way too much, and from what I hear he essentially does this for every set he plays. Would it injure him to play a different song every now and then. Seriously. There are so many excellent songs in the world, and some of them might even be ones he’ll drop in the future. Why stick to ‘Aulos’ alone. I don’t get it.

2:26~AM: As I was noting down the third instance of ‘Aulos’, the girl who put her coat down returned. “Can I have my coat back?” She calls over the sound, and I peer over. I can’t see the coat. The red spotlight passes over the floor; the coat’s rolled off the steps and is now lying on the ground.

“I can’t reach it.” I shout. “It’s fallen off.”

“Oh no.” She shouts.

“Can you wait until the segue?”

She shakes her head. “I’ll go over the barrier, but thanks.”

I offer to help her over, but she doesn’t think she'll make it. She ducks out past the crowd and goes around the side instead (no security to stop her), runs over to grab her coat, and then leaves straight away. She’ll be back for Sebastian’s set, but now it’s Riton time.

Riton (2:30AM to 3:30AM)

I didn’t enjoy Riton’s set very much. This had 0% to do with his music and everything to do with the chaos on my right-hand side, which made it worse. If it was the artist that was bad you chalk it up to a mismatch in interests, but knowing other concertgoers unilaterally deprived you of a good experience is a unique level of terrible. There are no timestamps for this section because I was too busy keeping an eye on my surroundings to take notes; he was also afflicted with the ICSFS, which didn’t help, but it’s a darn shame how much I missed out.

Oh and that too. That was his light show. Riton was a special guest and his name/logo was the dominant display for the entirety of his set. But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about the chip on my shoulder.

Here’s the thing. I attend most of the gigs I go to by myself. I prefer it that way because I get anxious when things go wrong. I have a very specific set of items I bring with me to concerts, and practice very meticulous timekeeping. One of the rules I observe during gigs is that I do not move from my position: I prefer front centre or front centre-right generally, but wherever it is, I stay put.

I am not a tall woman. If I lose my place, it is unlikely I’d get it back. I’m full of anxiety about being at my place, but I’m more anxious to avoid losing it, so I defend it with all my might. I have never lost my place in almost ten years and this show was no exception. But my goodness did the guys to my right push my buttons this time. The guy who was to the right of me for Riton was with a group, all of whom were banging on the barriers and creating a ruckus. Just my luck he was the only one who seemed actually inebriated. He kept putting his head down on the railing, slumped over for minutes at a time, before suddenly raving and flailing around whenever Riton dropped a beat. He had no consideration for whoever he was accidentally knocking about (i.e. me) during this. And as I said, there was no security up front, so I was on my own.

At first I had some sympathy, because I still wasn’t over the girl who left earlier. I’ve never seen people who were inebriated/high during shows last very long where they were, either. But the fifteenth time dude nearly poked my eye out, it was just too much. I do not like people prodding their way into my personal space. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am.

The last time I had to be vicious with a concertgoer was at TBB, where a ginger-haired girl kept on trying to tear people from their place up front, and eventually was ejected by security after she got into a catfight with another girl next to me. Apparently this time it was my turn to give into Righteously Indignant Bitch Hours and the next time he started flailing his arm into my neck, I grabbed him and slammed his hand onto the railing and shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.”

I wish I could say this made him stop. However, life is dumb. Dude was too out of it to comprehend his own actions, let alone my complaints. His friends pulled him out of the front row for about five minutes but then he came staggering back, muttering something about his lens cap (?) and if I’d seen it. It wasn’t long before he began to barge into the surrounding people again. Only elbows were the solution; I can barely move my right arm even now, it feels so bruised. I’m not proud of what I did, but I’m not sure what I could have done differently, and I would do the same even now.

But, you know. It could have been worse. If you’ve been front row, you know there’s a difference between those who’re trying to grab a good time and those who act out of malice. The former usually try to sneak a hand in next to yours on the railing, or crash into you from the back, or wedge their way in - but they almost always follow it up with an apology, and they tend to carve out their own little space, not actively steal yours. Yes I’m talking about that ginger-haired girl at the TBB show again. I’ve attended full on firebreathing industrial metal shows at much bigger, suffocating venues, and yet those audiences still managed to avoid being vicious and petty. She was the worst. Holy shit. It’s been two years and I’m still mad. Fucking bitch I hope you step in a puddle. What was I writing about again? Oh yeah the dude. He wasn’t acting out of malice, but out of irresponsibility. And to be honest, his friends weren’t that better, save for a girl who was about five feet eight tall and complimented that I was still standing later in the set: “I had to sit down after Thibaut and you’re still jumping like nothing happened!”

That made me think about my own stamina. I never thought I had much. I’m twenty-five years old. I’m in my prime, but I had more energy when I was eighteen, and I am old enough to keep that in mind. I’m not getting younger. After a show I’m bruised and my muscles ache and I pass out asleep for hours at a time. I’m usually awake for 30hrs~ during those times. I don’t eat or drink much before shows to prevent bathroom breaks. I ate on 3:30pm on the 25th and didn’t touch a single morsel of food again until 7am on the 26th, and even then it was a sandwich. After dancing for eight hours.

It’s been that way for years. But maybe most people? Don’t? Do that? And maybe I am? Actually quite strong? For regularly surviving what I do to myself?

I don’t know. Let’s move onto what I think 70% of you are here to read about.

Sebastian (3:30AM to 4:30AM)

3:30AM: Predictably, Sebastian gets the loudest cheers of the night when he comes on. Riton announces him and passes him the headphones. He still does the hand thing, by the way.

This thing.

3:30~AM: Not an observation of the moment, but of the entire set. Seb played some big name EDM songs and what I believe are versions of his YLS tracks. He was the only set I wanted to record in full, but I wasn’t tall enough and my equipment wasn’t good enough to do so. ICSFS is in play. I sort of hoped he'd stuck with his vicious red lighting from Primary Tour, and he did, but not to a degree where I could get good shots of him.

Is anyone excited for him to drop an album this year or what. Pedro said he would.

3:38AM: Seb also has the dubious honour of being the only DJ who contributed extra to the ICSFS problem. He vapes through the entire set. I have lots of feelings and I don’t know what to do with myself honestly.

3:39AM: Neither do the dudes to my right. They are the friends of the inebriated dude who has since staggered off into the crowd. They are completely losing their shit, screaming and taking their shirts off and kicking at the barriers. They contributed to some of the bruises on my right arm. But they still didn’t take my place so whatever.

3:40~AM: Seb is not a smiler. Photographer comes by and he gives him a single glance before turning back. I don’t know why I’m surprised.

3:43AM: The Asian girl with the coat from earlier comes back. She asks me to deposit a different layer of coat this time over the barrier, and stands behind me. I feel very protected.

3:50~AM: Balm to aid my pain: photographers start coming down from the stage to pass out Ed Banger pins and stickers. The first lot are thrown into the audience, but the second photographer takes the time to give all of us one. This is the first time I’ve scored thrown Ed Banger merch during a set. I usually can’t reach them because I am smol.

I am also bonding with the dude to my left during this time. We collaborate to catch the pins we want and share them out between the two of us. He gets the Ed Banger melody logo pin, and gives me the Ed Banger 15 Ans pin. “Are you sure?” I ask. He smiles and nods. I thank him and hand him a Breakbot sticker, one that’s of his name.

4:06AM: What the fuck the lights are changing

4:06AM: Is that

4:06AM: IT IS

4:07AM: IT’S JUSTICE. IT’S HEAVY METAL. SEB’S PLAYING HEAVY METAL AND HE’S DOING THE HAND THING AND THE LIGHT SHOW’S TRIPPY AS FUCK ALL OF A SUDDEN AND EVERYONE IS SCREAMING AND THE DUDE LEFT OF ME IS DECLARING HIS LOVE FOR SEB IN FRENCH AND I AM SCREAMING OH MY FUCKING GOD

4:09AM: HE SEGUES TO ROLLIN’ AND SCRATCHIN’. HE LITERALLY DID THAT. SEBASTIAN AKCHOTE IS PLAYING ROLLIN’ AND SCRATCHIN’ AND WE’RE ALL GOING BATSHIT INSANE. I’M SORRY FOR THE BAD CAMERA WORK. THIS IS HOW I DIE.

4:15~AM: Myd is finally going back and forth. He will close the night after Sebastian has finished his set. Looking back on the videos of the night, I can’t believe he only played for an hour; it felt a bit longer than that, Sebastian never let up for a single second as long as he was onstage. Not a single minute wasted. And now you’re going to have to excuse me babes because he’s puttING ON STRESS AND WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE AGAIN RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

4:24AM: AAAAAAAAAAAA

(Seb’s still playing Stress. Looping the chainsaw noises. Steady camera work lmao what steady camera work)

4:30AM: Sebastian hands over the reins to Myd at this point. I do not have a video of this segue because he does not announce the takeover; with one of his inscrutable hand gestures and a proud look, Sebastian takes up a whole bottle of wine and silently walks offstage. Again, I don’t know why I am remotely surprised. That is probably the most Seb thing I have seen Seb do all night, and it was a night extremely full of Seb things.

At this point I stop jotting down notes on my phone. But I’m at about 58% battery and going strong, so I’m still taking photos and videos whenever I can. Myd’s section is reconstructed from these records.

Myd (Round 2) (4:30~AM to 6:00AM)

4:30~AM: Not a specific observation. As mentioned in the Breakbot review of May 2018, I have unfinished business with Myd. Or at least: had. Myd played the closer in XOYO last year, and back then I was weak and I could not stay through his entire set. I swore to myself the next time he returned, and I was able to see him, I would last as long as he was onstage.

And I did. That’s one promise to myself kept, and what I hope was a little justice done for a DJ of Myd’s caliber.

4:35AM: Coat girl taps my shoulder again. “I’m going home. Could you...?” She gestures to the barrier, and I reach down and pull up her coat. It didn’t roll onto the ground this time.

“There you are.” I say. She takes it and gives me a hug. “Have a good night.”

“Have a good night!” Then she’s gone, alongside the exodus of people who are leaving the club. More people stuck around for Myd here than in XOYO. Guy to my left nudges me to look; stickers are coming around again, specifically the ‘Hello My Name Is _______ [Myd]’ one. We each take one.

4:44AM: I’m out of water. Actually I was out of water immediately before Seb finished, because for some reason I thought downing the last of my only means of hydration with over 1h 30mins to go was a sensible thing to do. I regret this decision bitterly, but I’ll probably survive.

4:58AM:

@_@

5:03AM: It is very difficult for me to ID Myd’s tracks. I suspect a lot of them are original or are from his recent release that I haven’t yet listened to. Appropriate to a closer, he takes a very trance-inspired line to his entire set, with lots of repetition and few loud drops; this was the same in XOYO. I wonder what a Myd headliner set must be like.

5:10~AM: The guy to the left of me is struggling. So am I. But further to his left, there is a guy slumped on the rails. His girlfriend is beside him. They’ve been there all night, but they’ve clearly reached their limit. My right hand side keeps refilling and emptying as people step away or leave.

I talk about that other guy because he summons Thibaut to him.

5:28AM: I took several vids of this but this timestamp belongs to the longest. Thibaut comes back with his own phone to film the audience. He winks and shyly gestures all of us to gather our strengths and be more pumped up, and I recall we obliged him because he asked so nicely. He lingered for some time, gazing at us as fondly as we were gazing at him. He then looked at the guy slumped over on the railing and hopped down from the stage, gently patting his shoulder to talk to him.

I didn’t hear any of their conversation, save for Thibaut asking the dude ‘where he was from’. By the way he clasped his hand to his chest several times, though, I’m inclined to think he was really concerned about the guy. They eventually shook hands and Thibaut made as if to hop back onstage. (The photo was taken as he was leaving.)

Except he couldn’t jump that high. He gave us another shy look and braced his foot against the barriers, perching neatly on the stage before clambering up. He stuck around for about five more minutes to check up on the audience.

I love Thibaut so much. He’s so gentle.

5:34~AM: Holy fuck my bag is full of crap. I haven’t organized it in some time. Discarded cups, beer cans etc have accumulated by my feet, and as I kick them away I’m trying to check my loot is in place and I still have my items. I can’t feel my passport and my blood runs cold for a moment. I turn the camera flash on to look.

“Are you looking for something?” The guy to my left asks worriedly.

I feel my passport in my front pocket. False alarm. “Just organizing my bag.”

(I didn’t see any lost foreign ID or driver licenses on the floor this time.)

5:43AM:

Russian duolingo says fuck millennial lives

5:50~AM: The smoke machine is turned off. I still can’t see for shit, though, because the lights flash rapidly between deep blue and violet and Myd’s hidden behind it.

My last video of the night is timestamped 5:55AM. Myd has a most benevolent smile on his face. He knows the night is drawing to a close.

6:00AM: I did it.

We made it.

I have made it through a Myd set fully and have survived the night.

Myd finished exactly at 6am and exited to a crowd of applause. There are calls for an encore, but given that it's... like, literally morning, it’s not realistic to expect him to stay any longer. Security comes by as soon as he exits, and we all leave Electric Brixton behind at last. The sun has not yet risen. I fall in step with the guy next to me.

Guy: Where are you heading to?

Me: Coach. I came up from Brighton.

Guy: From Brighton?! Was that last night or what?

Me: Yep, two hours before the show. I haven’t eaten or slept all night.

Guy: Wow. [Pause.] Though I think that’s the longest I’ve danced in my entire life, too.

Me: You’re not kidding. I really didn’t think I was going to last beyond Sebastian.

I think he was a Londoner. We say farewells in front of the Electric Brixton bus stop, and I leave for the Underground. My legs are numb and I can barely walk, but somehow I stumble past the barriers and sink into the seats of the train. Back at Victoria Train Station I drop in at Sainsburys for a sandwich and two cans of grape soda, and then realizing I need a resealable container to take on the bus, buy a bottle of Pepsi. The grape soda was just because I really love grape soda and I cannot find a place in Brighton that sells any. It was around 8AM when I finally got on the coach back home.

I had not slept for some twenty hours. I continued to not sleep on the bus. I tried very hard to, but I couldn’t, because I was still buzzing from the adrenaline. It wasn’t until I got home, just after 11AM, that I began to feel sleepy for real. Sig. other made me a cup of tea, and I took the interval to admire some cat slippersocks that had arrived for me in the meantime.

LOOK AT IT.

Overall I’d say this was a fantastic night. I have taken care of unfinished business and seen Sebastian in the flesh. I have, however, come away with another unfinished business to replace the deal with Myd - I should seek out Riton again, the next time he comes here, and deliver a full review of what that was like. To think of the Ed Banger crew making their way across Europe in 2019, with new material and a new Sebastian in tow...

😍😍😍

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justaramblingromantic · 6 years ago

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Hello~~, hopping you had a wonderful holidays, I'd like ask RyoAli for the ship meme, if that's okay with you (and you're still accepting requests, that's it, hehe~), thank you so much in advance😊🤗

~ send me a ship and i’ll tell you who ~

Ello!! Happy holis to you, too! Sorry for the wait, and thanks for the ask! :)

EiRin here

SouEri here

IshiNene here

RyoAli

curses like a sailor

He cusses with the spitting intensity and burning fervor of an unstoppable machine gun once he really gets going and he doesn’t care too much about what other people think about it, either, and neither does she. She smiles sweetly and easily beside him even when he’s deep in his ‘mad dog’ persona, even when the people around them flinch away with prejudice and cowering fear at his wild, rough-around-the-edges demeanor. They don’t know him like she does and it is amusing the way they label him even before trying to get to know what he is really like. But of course Ryou makes that hard too, with his fierce visage and unapproachable demeanor and that bored thousand yard stare (he is just sleepy as usual). She reaches up and pets him happily on the bicep in the aftermath of one of his episodes - he has emerged victorious, as always, ‘My Ryou is the cutest~’

does the chores voluntarily

Sometimes he looks at himself and wonders what the hell happened - he has become so domesticated it is horrifying. Once, she was nothing more than an irritating rich brat always getting in his way and causing no end of trouble for him, but these days, he has turned into a manservant, a butler, a bodyguard and a nanny rolled into one convenient package, loyally dedicated to the service of said aforementioned rich brat whose never-ending demands he can never quite seem to say ‘no’ to, and even when he does, she pesters him into doing whatever she wants, anyway. He trains his body even more aggressively as if to make up for that self-perceived weakness in character; but she is only all the more delighted with his strength and tag teams with her mother often to praise and tease him until he is flustered and harried and confused by their easy affection and familial warmth. Too late does he realize that they have caught and tamed him with their loving ways; now she bosses him around all the time and he comes to heel willingly like an faithful hound ready to fulfill her every desire. There is an innate, automatic compulsion for him to guard and take care of her that stumps him at first, but eventually he figures it all out -some bonds, once forged, are for life.

wants to marry their bed

She has to be literally carried out of bed some mornings, all the while whining to have five more minutes of shuteye (it is never just five more minutes, that much he knows by now). She alternates between kicking her legs at him in childish pique and clinging to him for warmth, her grimacing face pushed into the crook of his neck and her eyes squeezed shut as she tries obstinately to resist all his attempts to wake her up, but he is unsympathetic and plants her upright like a turnip on the seat cover of the toilet bowl. Her toothbrush is pressed into her hand and a placidly delivered threat to put her in the shower stall next and switch on the cold water finally has her attention, and she pouts all the way through her morning ablutions. He does not even blink when her pajamas falls to the floor and she flounces out of the bathroom to find her change of clothes; he has seen her in skimpier swimsuits, and more importantly, must she always leave a mess everywhere she goes?

gets awkward about romantic gestures

Perhaps it’s the fact that they grew up together, but the blithe exchange of casual, demonstrative gestures comes easily and naturally to them, long before they made things official. Even after that subtle change in relationship status, nothing seems too different or entirely new or something strange that either feel that they had to struggle to adjust to. Alice is even touchier than ever, gleefully groping Ryou in places she has always wanted to grope (she has unrestricted special VIP access now), and Ryou puts up with her amorous affection up till the point where he abruptly reaches his limit. His self-control snaps like a proverbial twig then and he drags her off to somewhere quiet so he can mark her back until her legs shake and her voice comes out of her in unsteady, uncontrollable gasps-

stays in the shower for what seems like hours

Ryou enjoys a long, hot shower after a hard, satisfying workout, the kind with temperatures high enough to peel skin.The shower facilities are equipped with state-of-the-art, high pressure, ionising spray jets that Alice has specifically custom ordered for him - supposedly, they have revitalizing and de-stressing effects and can also help to improve blood circulation, particularly effective for soothing sore muscles.They also have a private sauna which they use often, a standard practice derived from their years living in Scandinavia. It is one of the things that Ryou appreciates when it comes to Japan; how the bathing traditions here in this land of the East are so similar to those back home, in the far Nordic North. The Japanese don’t practice winter ice swimming with as much zeal, though, but Alice and Leonora are always in for a treat every end of the year, when Ryou and Soe gamely don snug swim trunks after a nice, long session in the sauna and brave the freezing winter conditions for a few invigorating laps in the freshwater mountain lake that borders the Nakiri winter lodge.

would adopt a million cats if given the chance

She comes home with a box of squirming kittens one day, fat tears rolling down her puffy face and her reddened nose dribbling like a leaky faucet in reaction to the mewling felines in her arms. He cannot tell if her sorry appearance is due to being moved by the little strays’ sad, abandoned predicament or more due to the fact that the tiny mewling fluffballs are making her body go haywire in allergic reaction - probably a fair mix of both. ‘Ryou!’ she warbles his name with dramatic woe even as he is already rising from his seat and padding towards her. ‘Help; they were crying on the roadside and I couldn’t just leave th- achoo!!’

fixes stuff around the house / apartment

Alice is forbidden from fixing anything in the house, because more often than not, anything she attempts to save eventually ends up damaged beyond repair. Not that Ryou is exactly some miracle fix-it-all/DIY-er himself either; he does well enough when it comes to simple home repairs and improvements and is very knowledgeable with all the workings of his kitchen equipment, and most importantly, at least he hasn’t accidentally almost burned down the house…unlike a certain somebody whose name he shall refrain from mentioning.

watches too many Disney movies

‘We’re like Beauty and the Beast,’ she tells him with a grin, and he just eyes her with his usual sleepy apathy, not even surprised by her random whimsy. ‘Do you know why? Because Beauty always saves Beast in the end!’

gets drunk off of champagne

She is the most ridiculous drunk person ever - one moment, she’s trying to pick a fight with a street post and the next she has somehow teleported across the road one block down, marching into the conbini for a random shopping binge. She runs off again, cackling into the night, while sticking him with the bill for her purchases and his face is deadpan as ever (his forehead is starting to twitch, though) as the convenience store worker blanches at his blandly murderous visage and nervously rings up the haphazard pile of candy, small mountain of junk food, as well as what looks like the conbini’s entire display of condoms even as the three other customers in queue behind him try not to gawk at the impressive hoard of prophylactics in flustered embarrassment. He catches up to her before she can get into any more trouble, herds her loudly singing self around several exposed manholes before she can dance and twirl right into them, scares off three different groups of hoodlums trying to pick her up (by then that look of pure homicide has been permanently etched onto his face, very convenient that) and manages to drag her troublesome behind home before she can pull another Houdini on him again. She throws herself into his arms when they’re in the backseat of the cab, and he is exasperated and pissed after an entire night of running after his ojou and putting up with her shenanigans; anyone would have taken one look at that dark scowl on his face, promptly do an about turn and run for the hills, but of course she climbs onto his lap instead and demands affection. ‘My Ryou is the best~!’ she brags to him looking like someone’s ridiculously proud grandma, and just like that, he feels his aggravation subside a little at her obvious recognition of his worth and ability. That special feeling is quick to disappear, however, when she reaches up to ruffle his hair and coos, ‘Who’s a good boy? My Ryou’s the goodest boy-”

cries when the ASPCA commercials come on

She quivers and her eyes fill up like she’s going through an allergic episode again, and he fixes half his gaze on her in case she starts to swell up like previously. She does not puff up this time, but she’s…leaky, presumably a side effect of the short video they had been watching. He suffers through her sniffs, snorts and snuffles in silence - and he is very silent and very still, because she seems to have momentarily forgotten about his presence and he wants to keep it that way- but alas his good fortune does not last long. She turns to him with that piteous expression that reminds him very much of Leonora-san when she’s pouting with all her might at Soe-san, and Ryou feels something like doom encroach him at the familiar scenario. His stoic apathy falters before her mien of misery, and he wants to sigh in a very put upon manner. He opens his arms to her instead, and she shuffles into his side. ‘Ryou?’ ‘Yes, milady?’ ‘Let’s adopt a million cats.’ ‘…No.’

#Food Wars: Shokugeki no Souma #Shokugeki no Soma #Kurokiba Ryou #Nakiri Alice #RyoAli #harumaki03 #[ there's a certain someone I need to blame now for automatically thinking of Beauty and the Beast when it comes to RyoAli! XD ]

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seashelbytravel · 6 years ago

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Grettings from the future:

Sunday June 9, 2019

Current location: Kho Lak, Thailand

Traveled from: Ranong, Thailand

Travel date: 6/8/19

From Koh Tao, we took a ferry boat back to the mainland. John joked about it being my opportunity to act out the scene from TITANIC. I regret not doing it.

This time we laid out on the upper most deck, on the ground right up front. No one cares in Thailand.

Our first and most loved/memorable experience was in a small beach down that I won’t name because some people don’t want the world to know about their home, and I respect that. I will write the full experience, but we bonded with a pizza shop owner, who taught me the basics of meditation in Thailand.

Being on the ferry was my first opportunity to practice what I learned. It felt so ....nice. Simplicity is best when describing meditation (prayer). You have to do it for yourself and let your experience just be yours.

Mine is almost always divine, if I can just listen to my breath, and not my mind. The mind (mine for sure) is like a wild toddler that will throw a tantrum once you tell it “I’m not going to pay you this attention, you’re screaming at me, but I do love you”.

The divinity that comes with peace of mind (even if it’s a few moments of thoughtlessness) is profound, and I’ve barely scratched the surface I think.

Off the ferry, we hopped on the back of a motor bike and were taken to the mini bus station.

Chumpon (the port city) is a little dicey. It was the first city where John and I encountered being treated like “stupid Americans” P.S I FULLY understand why all other countries think we are stupid. We have our heads so far up you know where, that we aren’t even truly concerned with world events, beliefs, etc. Even those of us who are concerned, like myself, aren’t given the full scope of what’s actually going on. A larger generalization, but unfortunately it’s true.

We took a mini bus to Ranong Thailand. It’s a beautiful little city tucked away in the mountains. John tells me they average 8 months of rainfall. When we pulled in, school was letting out, and man.... all those little kids were so cute, and sweet! There were a ton of food vendors waiting for them, and they all got their respective treats (fruit smoothies, ice pops, coke, you know.). It reminded me of getting out of school and being picked up with gummy life savers by my Mimi.

I miss her very much. Being here without distraction has opened me up to grieving grief I didn’t even know I had pint up. That’s the thing about grief. You can exercise the hell out of it, but it’s always there.

She never wanted me to cry, and I only cried three times when she finally passed this last summer.

Even sitting here now, I’m not crying. Grieving for her is warm and lovely. And a true “Wow, I miss you and your HUGS”. She gave the best ones.

There are blue (and other colored) butterflies all over the place in decoration here.

She loves butterflies and called little girls butterflies.

Anywho, we found a nice hotel and a place to do laundry (Hallelujah!). For real. When we pulled in, I was in day two clothing and reeeked. John’s pants were torn and he was also in multi day clothing. We. Were. Nasty.

Guess what? The couple who helped with our laundry even had A DRYER. We bought some clean clothes so we could wash the dirty. John got me a shirt that said “Sometimes the happy memories make us the saddest”. It was pink, and very fitting for me, and very sweet of him.

We showered, put on the clean clothes, and dropped off the dirty.

I went to journal out front and met a hilarious man from Indonesia. He is traveling by bike with his wife and his brother, across SE Asia. He pretty much convinced me to move to Indonesia without ever going.

John and his family joined at the same time (just about) and the conversation grew.

They love QUEEN so boom: instant bonding moment.

Upon learning that I am an actress and John a musician (both trained) the business ideas started flowing.

It’s funny, in American people scoff at you when you have an art degree. Here? It’s treasured and honorable.

He told me to make a movie for children in Indonesia. Where all the parts are played by kids.

I’ve been joting down ideas since.

We walked down for dinner and, wow is Ranong gorgeous. We ate at this hip little place. There was a sweet waiter working who literally asked his friend if he could take out table. They were so excited to be around Americans.

It’s funny, the same crappy American pop songs play at every “hip” place here.

I want to show them the good stuff.

Our food was delicious but reaaallly spicey for Shelby. Still delicious. But, I needed a soda water and a rest, so I went back to the hotel.

We went to sleep and woke up with the plan to go to the hot springs (Ranong is known for this).

We went to a spa. The sweet receptionist didn’t understand that John was trying to order us both the same thing (a traditional Thai massage, and herbal exfoliation) so, I get ushered into the women’s side, and he the men’s.

Long story short. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and didn’t monopolize fully on the hot spring aspect of things.

This is a funny story, I’m laughing about this: Then, I ended up getting the herbal exfoliation, which was essentially a glorified rub down of all of my body except for my bottom private area. Did you catch that? My BOTTOM private area was the only spot not rubbed down by this sweet old Thai lady. Needless to say, I have the softest skin, but also, hello! Wasn’t expecting that one. But oh well I honestly didn’t care.

Then I thought “Yes! time for my massage”.

Nope.

I was done and waited in the lobby an additional hour, until I was so confused that I just asked the lady the timeline. She didn’t understand and led me up to a beautiful room where John was receiving the most awesome traditional Thai massage.

Lol.

Mine will come later. Although, I was a little disappointed to not get one there specifically.

He felt really bad, but I didn’t want him to. He had never received a massage before. Ever. What a perfect place for your first pamper experience.

He got me some grilled banana (Hi. I’m a little sick from this, this morning, err a little more than a little, but not enough to keep me in bed). I was chowing down, and John took one bite and made a face and threw them out. I felt weird about them too, but accepted the snack anyway.

Shoulda trusted my gut, because it’s mad at me now.

We ate Thai pizza, talked more about Anthony Bourdain, and hitched a ride the the bus station.

It’s crazy, you really have to watch your bags (even with them on your back) at all times. I now know how to scope out advantage takers.

I didn’t mention this before, but my debit card disappeared in Bangkok. And our hotel never called back when John inquired about it.

Thank God for technology because it ended up being a semi easy fix.

The bus trip was long and rough. Something like 5 hours for 70 miles.

We are here in Khotak. Finally on the coast and it’s pouring. I’m praying for sunshine 🌞 queue “Let the Sun Shine”.

But, like I said, I woke up and got sick in the middle of the night, and a little this morning. Currently drinking tea and eating toast. I’ll take some activated charcoal and I’ll be good.

I encourage you to Google Earth the places we are staying. Im obsessed with Google Earth. It’s one of my hobbies, if that qualifies.

All photos belong to John Philip Sessions.

Photographed: The ferry ride from Koh Tao Island

Love you guys, thanks for tuning in ♾

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kotolocke · 6 years ago

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Entry #01: New Bark & Beyond.

God it really has been a week since I started this blog and I still haven’t updated it? Gotta stop being useless and post more regularly. I’ve made decent headway into the game so I have several posts I need to make about it. So let’s get started. I’ll save y’all from a long summary of the game events and stick with just mentioning important game-play stuff and how Lyra reacts to them.

First up: Elm’s request.

This whole little introductory quest that Elm sends her on is actually kinda meaningful to her perception of herself as a trainer. In blog cannon, Lyra immediately goes to collect her starter from Elm after having a massive argument with her Mum about leaving home, which ended with her Mum basically pushing her out of the door and telling her she wouldn’t care if she came back. She would. She didn’t mean it, she was just lashing out. But Lyra didn’t know that and she ran most of the way to the lab choking back tears.

So she takes a deep breath, calms herself down and as soon as she’s in the lab, Elm’s asking her to act as a representative of the lab and complete an important task for them. At this point, Lyra’s already been helping out around the lab for some time so this isn’t entirely out of the ordinary. But being asked to take care of a “real” “discovery” one of Elm’s peers has made whilst she’s still highly fraught from a fight but is pretending that she’s totally fine? This is the basis of the person she becomes. Someone who thinks of herself as a highly important “chosen person” who cannot express her real emotions or else she’ll won’t be taken seriously or allowed to follow her goals. Because something tells me Elm wouldn’t be too comfy sending a crying eleven year old off into the wild world of Pokemon after a big fight with her parents.

Next up: Lyra’s starter.

Meet Cabbage!

She’s an extremely sheltered Chikorita who honestly never thought she was actually going to end up travelling with a trainer. Surely she was just going to spend the rest of her life in the lab with the Professor? Lyra decided otherwise, and decided primarily because she was the only girl of the three Pokemon Elm was raising. Lyra was anticipating getting some flack for being a young girl on a Pokemon journey so she kinda projected some of this onto Cabbage. Moron boy trainers would probably turn their nose up a cute, female Pokemon so she should had to take Cabbage with her so she wouldn’t feel like she was anyone’s last choice.

Cabbage would have been okay with that but unfortunately can’t tell Lyra how she feels. She’s just gotta learn to embrace all the terrifying Pokemon battles Lyra puts her through. Which happens surprisingly quickly; Lyra’s an impatient girl but she always gives her Pokemon the time they need to adjust. Speaking of adjust:

Cabbage is legitimately confused and slightly irritated about her nickname. It’s the first of many little annoyances that eventually lead to her becoming stubborn and standoffish towards Lyra as she grows more confident.

Next: Mr. Pokemon & Professor Oak.

In terms of character development, this whole scenario kinda bolsters Lyra’s ego even more. But I want to single it out because it’s the start of one of her three major plot threads:

This fckin’ egg. This egg is important and eventually hatches into one of Lyra’s core team members. This egg is also lowkey a symbol of everything early journey Lyra thinks about herself. She’s so unique and powerful and special, Elm can see she’s naturally good with Pokemon so he chose her to go on this dangerous quest to collect a mysterious egg! And better yet, during this quest the esteemed Professor Oak, advisory to the legendary Red, asks her if she can help him out with something too!

He gives her a high-tech Pokedex, an item so exclusive that only a handful of trainers own one? Wow she must be the best trainer out there, she’s only just got her first Pokemon and everyone’s falling over themselves to get her to do trainer stuff for them. Clearly she’s hyper naturally talented and all the smart Pokemon experts know it! She’s a dumbass child. I love her.

Anyway, why’s the egg important you ask? Oh—

—no reason.

And finally: Silver.

Did you know: Lyra absolutely hates Silver’s guts pretty much until she sees he also hates Team Rocket? Because he kinda epitomises the older boys who would belittle her for being a girl who wanted to be a trainer?

It’s pretty clear to Lyra that Silver kinda knows some shit about Pokemon training because she hears him muttering shit about Elm’s lab being “famous”. Bitch, the only people that Elm’s famous to are fringe nutcase trainers who breed for something they call IVs because he’s basically lord high king of egg knowledge or whatever. That makes it doubly annoying when Silver tries to kick her when she asks if he’s getting a Pokemon there too and twice as satisfying when she knocks him over with a retaliation kick and stamps off righteously. She’s especially glad that she chose Cabbage at this point; just thinking of what he might say about her makes Lyra fume.

More evidence that Silver is a bog-standard shitface sexist kid:

Whilst Silver would say this sort of crap to anyone, this hits a little too close to home for Lyra and she takes it as a misogynistic insult. Generally implying that she’s somehow not worthy of becoming a trainer is a surefire way to make Lyra go feral because she kinda thinks it’s the only thing she’s good at. And it’s just not true, look at what level Cabbage is at this point:

Three levels above where she started and only around 3-4 hours have passed since they first met. Lyra is insanely good at training Pokemon. She has great intuition when it comes to assessing individual Pokemon’s strengths and weaknesses and encourages them to fight in whatever way suits them best. She doesn’t always have great long-term strategy in battle, but she knows exactly what her Pokemon can and cannot take and dish out and this is what secures her most of her victories.

Also Silver’s “someone weak” comment is 100% self-projection, just so we’re clear.

lyra vc: lmao yeah i am???

lyra vc: lmao no!!!

Queue Lyra getting Actually Mad™ because there is no way a dick like Silver could become a better trainer than her?? She’s gonna be the greatest, just you wait and see Tampon!!

If you don’t think she was holding it in the air just out of his reach then you have fundamentally underestimated how much of a petty little shit my Lyra is.

Regardless, Lyra then runs back to the lab to see exactly why Elm called her in such a panic.

In conclusion: All cops are bad.

A kind of recurring theme in Lyra’s story is her distrust of traditional authority figures, and it all starts here.

Okay, so obviously this exchange is so cartoonishly stupid that I cannot see it going down like this in blog cannon. But the cop that does come to investigate the lab in blog canon is pretty much as incompetent as this guy. Stealing a Pokemon is kind of not a big deal in Johto? Shit happens all the time, the cops are corrupt as fuck and they don’t care about doing their job. It’s the reason Rocket was able to regroup in Johto without anyone really making any attempt to stop them.

So this guy is mad that he’s been taken really far out of his way to investigate some minor crime in a tiny town and now some brat kid is going on about how some other kid was rude to her? Yeah, he’s not happy and totally belittles her, calling her “girlie” and scoffing at the idea of her and her wimpy looking Pokemon could have defeated a criminal. It’s not until Lyra insists that it was the red haired boy Elm mentioned to the guy she battled that he starts listening to her, and even then he’s still extremely brusque with her. And Lyra cannot stand being talked down to so this drives her round the bend.

A lot of terrifying things happen to Lyra during her journey, enough that she could easily qualify for police protection, but she never once asks for it throughout her journey. Because whenever she imagines walking into a police station, she imagines a bunch of wrinkly, balding, middle-aged men who will belittle and insult her the same way this cop did. And she’s not going to willingly suffer through that again.

#kotolocke.

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eris0330 · 6 years ago

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BTS Concert // Experience // Tips

So i went to the BTS Concert in Amsterdam on 131018. It was a wild ride, and not only because of the fact it was my first time traveling, it was also my first BTS concert. So this is a post for people who will go to their first BTS concert (or any concert?) to be aware of and to settle some things down, or to have some type of expectations.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying this is like this at every concert, this is purely out of my own experience.

NOTE: You can see some of my pre-trip pictures and BTS Concert pictures + videos in my Instagram story highlight and it’s called “BTS // AMS”. (IG: Eris0330) Some epic things happened even after the concert in the airport, and i’m not lying when i’m saying my sunday was a fucking mess.

So enjoy!!

Information during the day of the concert

Ticket: GA

Time of arrival at concert line up: 8:00 (8 am)

Location: Amsterdam

Hotel stay: Holiday inn

Amount of people in group: 7

Merch Sale to begin: 12:00 (12 pm)

Doors opening to venue: 17:00 (5 pm)

Concert start: 20:00 (8 pm)

Concert duration: 2 hours and 30 minutes.

Fashion: Plaid yellow shirt, Black loose crop top, Black ripped jeans, Leg garter, Nike sneakers

Tips for being in line // Experience (This is btw not in a chronological order but a whole mess of things)

For the love of god, bring a lot of water. (Some Army’s were nice to hand out water bottles for us in line, Thank you!!)

Check the weather beforehand. (It was about 24+C and we were right in the sunlight, so please remember to get lots of water and a bit of shade. If you’re sensitive to the sun, please wear sunscreen.)

It’s okay to leave for the toilet, or go for the merch line, as long someone else will be willing to hold your spot. You can even plan it, so you can buy merch for you and your friends, without having all of you to go. (People were nice to let us come back without a problem)

Please buy some food the day prior to the concert, it can be sandwiches, minor snacks or bigger. Just remember to get something to eat. (Some Army’s were nice to share their snacks with us, Thank you!!)

The merch line started at around 8-9 am, but the sale already started earlier than stated. It started at around 9-10 am, even tho it was said to first start at 12 pm. Be quick, if you want merch. Shirts were sold out VERY fast. Already within two hours, the black and white (50€) shirts were sold out. We went 3 people to stand in line for merch, while the rest were holding our spot in the entry line.

There were lockers in the venue, but we ended up putting our stuff in my hotel room. Please look up the venue you’re going to, to check if they have lockers or the rules for a bag. (In Ziggo you were only allowed to have a bag the size of an A4 paper). Because if you get merch, you know where to put it.

Go to the bathroom at least 1-2 hours before entering the venue, if you’re a GA it will be hard to hold a spot inside the venue. So when you get a spot in the venue, you are most likely destined to stay there, that means if you want to keep that spot. A friend and I, was close to not getting back in line (because they were moving inside a barricaded line) but the security let us back in because of my pathetic plea of the fact i would lose my spot because I NEEDED TO PEE AND THE LINE STARTED MOVING. A lot of the times, the line was moving and it were swinging with 1-2 metres, it was rare it moved A LOT. The doors were planned to open at 17:00, so we didn’t expect the line to move any further, but we were wrong. (We thought we timed it alright, because we went to pee and drop off things around 15:00 (3 pm), but the line apparently moved.)

Please change the way you stand in between minutes (30+ minutes), so you won’t be standing on your heel for too long, it can make you feel dizzy. So differ a bit in your standing, to get the pressure around on your feet.

Please throw away your trash if you can, do not leave it on the ground. A lot of trash were near the venue under the bridge where we were standing in line and food, blankets, bottles and cans were left behind. Some people were falling over it! Try to help others, even tho it might not seem like something big.

You will sweat and others will too. It’s no big deal.

It will be VERY hot in the venue. I ended up taking my yellow shirt off to wrap it around my waist instead. Despite my very ripped jeans a loose black top, i was sweating like crazy and the show haven’t even started yet. (Bring a fan, or piece of paper with you, to fan yourself. If you feel dizzy, call for security.) Or don’t wear too much clothes. If i had the chance, i’d change my outfit.

We were only allowed to bring 500 ml water inside the venue and it were definitely not enough. Staff had to bring out small cups of water, for the people who were lucky enough to get a cup. So please, stay hydrated throughout the day!!!!

People are greedy, I am too. I met two kinds of Army’s, the ones who were nice and helped me in the venue, by not standing too close to me and asked me if i was okay. Then there were the ones who didn’t care, and were fighting to get up front by pushing as much as they could, means their bodies were as close as they could to mine, to pass through me but there weren’t enough space so i started to heat up and felt cramped and dizzy. Some does it unintentionally, because it’s in the moment of a concert and they want to see their faves up close. I get that, but please look out for each other. I’m not saying i didn’t do it, because i probably did it too without knowing. whenever there was space to move forward, i did. But i never pushed myself on someone, like someone else did with me. There were times, i constantly had a bag pushing in my stomach and a pair of boobs pressing against my back. Heck people even used my shoulder for their arm rest, to record a whole performance??

Some people passed out and were pulled out of the crowd or walked out of the crowd (that is mainly caused from being too warm and people pushing from behind), plus someone not far behind me. PLEASE call for security or make it aware that there is an emergency through the others around. Take care of each other and take care of yourself. If you feel dizzy, tell someone next to you so they know.

If you have sensitive ears, wear ear plugs. It will take most of the screaming, because Army will scream their lungs out.

If you have long hair, put it in a pony tail. It’s not a must, but it’s a great tip to not overheat. I had my hair in a pony tail, but that wasn’t my plan at first because i look ridiculous with a pony tail, but thank god i did. My hair got pulled a few times, but i bet it wasn’t their intention. A girl in front of me, had her hair out and my hand/fingers constantly pulled strands of her hair. I told her before the concert started that it wasn’t on purpose and she said that she knew. (You were so sweet but you got lost in the crowd!!)

If you go as a group, please make a plan for after the concert. Where you will meet, if you lose each other. Or hold each other’s hands, while walking out.

It’s okay, if your legs feel like you have been running a mile after the concert. (Unless there are other symptoms of being uncomfortable, then tell someone). You have been using your leg muscles, to stand, jump, and tip toed to get a better view for over 2 hours. My legs were VERY wobbly, like spaghetti and i looked like i had been drinking too many beers.

Even though you don’t feel hungry, or thirsty after the concert, please eat some snacks (doesn’t have to be a lot) and drink a whole water bottle at least. My friends and i, were VERY exhausted and tired after the concert. Mainly due to dehydration and not enough food (for me at least). I remember being hungry going in the venue at 17:00, as in it was RUMBLING. When the concert ended, i didn’t feel hungry anymore but i did feel VERY tired and light-headed. I know my body well, i need to get a bit of food if i have been hungrier earlier, cause i might feel more uncomfortable later on, if i don’t fix it.

Get a Soda, to get some sugar. It helped me when i was shaking due to panic and stress. (Going a bit up, i mentioned almost not getting back in line) When i ran back with my friends to the line, and luckily got in. I was SO stressed and in after effect of the panic i went through. Due to my running, while being in fear and stress, my hands started to shake really bad. It usually happens very visibly, if i can’t have control of things.

If you’re going with friends, let them know if you have any problems being in a crowd or other things, that they should be aware of. My friends were amazing to ask if i were okay, and it’s IMPORTANT that you tell them if you’re not okay.

Don’t be afraid to ask people for help, even people you don’t know. They are very nice and have the same interest as you. You all came to hear them, so why wouldn’t they feel a little connected to you?

We came to stand in queue at 8 am, and we still managed to get pretty good spots. About 3-4 metres from the stage, and the view was good through the concert.

People WILL move around during the concert, so if you end up standing behind a tall person, it doesn’t necessarily mean they will stand there through the whole concert. Right at the second the music started, people started pushing and we were moved around, but not a lot, just enough for me to get a better view actually.

If you smoke, move out of the line to stand a bit away from the queue to smoke. Some people are sensitive to the smell, or feel uncomfortable if they continuously get smoke in their face even tho it isn’t your intention. It’s just decent respect for others.

Remember, if you are nice to others, they will most certainly be nice to you as well. I had a good small talk with a few Army’s during in queue for merch or the queue to get in. They helped me with some questions, when i couldn’t see anything or if someone said something i couldn’t understand (mainly because i’m a foreigner)

I guess this is all i had! I don’t know if it helped anyone, but i hope it did with some! Enjoy your concert!

Despite the good and bad things i mentioned, it was definitely an experience i loved very much! It’s something i’ll never forget! The concert is most likely what you make it to, try to think positive and enjoy yourself regardless. I had to tell myself that a lot and it did help.

#bts #bts concert #bts amsterdam #Bts concert experience #bts tips #concert #concert tips #love yourself #love yourself tour #tips #tricks #experience #story time

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sweetwhumpandhellacomf · 7 years ago

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omfg could you write something with touch starvation with zelos from tales of symphonia for the bingo thingie??

I jumped the queue to get to this one because I couldn’t get it out of my head. Has endgame/postgame spoilers!

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia (postgame/endgame spoilers)Whumpee: Zelos WilderTropes: Touch Starved, kidnapping, imprisonment, hair pulling, abuse, neglectWord Count: 3452 (big chunky)

Zelos wakes up on a cold stone floor, staring at a stone ceiling. Not the first time he’s found himself in this position. The location is different though. He sits up with a groan, rubbing his head as it starts pounding, and takes a look at his surroundings.

He’s in some kind of prison cell. So, that’s a first. Looks pretty cruddy, so it’s probably from the Sylvarant side of things. “O-kay, Zelos, let’s try and remember how you got here,” he grumbles, cautiously getting to his feet and going to the metal bars forming one wall. He’s been traveling with Lloyd, so this probably wasn’t the result of a wild party, which does narrow things down a lot.

“What’s the last thing I remember…” He wracks his brain, but all he can get is setting up camp with some fellow travelers. He was getting more into this whole “wilderness survival” thing, especially since he’s doing it with Lloyd. He grins, remembering the smile on his maybe-more-than-a-friend’s face as he shook hands with the others. But after that…

“Nothing,” he says with a defeated sigh, turning his attention to the cell itself. It’s definitely crappier than ones he’s seen in Tethe’alla–from the outside of course. One wood bench chained to the wall, iron loops driven into the walls, some kind of crusty pot under the bench that he has a strong desire not to interact with. No window. The iron bars look pretty sturdy, and so do the chains wrapped around the door, but he can probably bust ‘em open with a spell or two. He’ll be out of here in a jiffy.

Wait, no, Lloyd’s always telling him he has to follow the law and stuff. Maybe he did something stupid and he got himself arrested and he somehow doesn’t remember it. He’s definitely been blackout drunk before, it could happen again. With a huff, he peers down the corridors outside the cell as far as he can see. “Hey! I’m awake in here!” he calls. “Helloooo!”

Someone comes into view after a few moments, and he’s briefly cheered to see it’s one of the travelers they’d stopped to camp with (last night? Goddess, he hopes it was just last night). “Hey, I remember you!” he says, wrapping his hands around the bars and giving his most winning hangover smile. “It’s uhhh, Bruin, right? Help a guy out?”

The man crosses his arms, looking Zelos up and down with a look that’s become unfortunately familiar since the worlds merged. The look of someone not entirely happy to meet the Chosen One of the world that was slowly killing their own. “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?” Zelos asks, biting back a twinge of nervousness. “We were getting along, right? You and your friend and me and Lloyd?”

“It’s Brand,” the man says. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember, with a reputation like yours.”

“Right, right, sorry, Brand,” Zelos corrects himself. “I mean, can you blame me? I meet charming new people all the time, it’s just so hard to remember!”

Brand fixes him with a steely glare, and Zelos feels himself flinch a bit, like he’s on the receiving end of one of Raine’s lectures. “…Anyway. Can you let me out of here?”

“You know what, Zelos, I could,” Brand says, sticking his hands in his pockets. “But I don’t think I’m gonna.” Before Zelos can process that, he continues. “Cause you know what? We don’t need someone like you prancing around, pretending you’re helping.”

“I–wha–I am helping!” he protests, squeezing the bars. “I’m helping Lloyd with his Exsphere collection so he can destroy them! Those things are messed up, you know!”

“Of course I know!” Brand snarls, slamming his fist onto Zelos’s fingers. He yelps and yanks his hands away, holding his injured fingers close to his chest. “I almost was one!” He yanks his shirt collar down, exposing the scar there.

Zelos winces; he’s met enough human ranch survivors to know the marks from where they were shackled and abused. “I’m so sorry for you, man,” he says, and he genuinely is, but he’s very often bad at expressing genuine emotions. “But what’s this got to do with me?”

“It has everything to do with you,” Brand says, pointing an accusatory finger. “You people were starving our world, and you people were making us into marbles, and now that the worlds are fused you just expect us all to get along!”

“But I didn’t–” Brand cuts him off by slamming the bars again, and he shuts his lips.

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t press the button on any of it, it was all done because of you!” he snaps. “You’re going to stay put here til we decide what to do about it.”

Zelos huffs. “We’ll see about that!” He moves his hands into position for a fire spell, mutters the incantation, and watches in triumph as the sparks ignite and… fizzle into nothing. “Uhh, what gives?!”

“Don’t bother with your fancy magic,” Brand says. “We found some of that magitechnology in an old Desian base–turns out it cancels out spells.” He shrugs. “We put a couple devices on the cells on either side of you. Dunno how it works, but it works.”

“This is crap!” Zelos says, stepping forward to squeeze the bars again. “Just let me out, we can talk this over or something!”

Brand’s hand snaps forward and through the bars, grabbing hold of Zelos’s hair and yanking him forward, smacking his face into the iron. While he scrabbles at his captor’s hand, Brand makes sure to look him in his eyes, which are starting to water. “You are going to stay in here,” Brand says, voice as cold as the stone and iron containing him. “And you are going to be as miserable, and lonely, and scared as we all were.” He shoves Zelos back into the wall and walks out while he’s still reeling.

—

Zelos spends the better part of an hour trying to get various spells to work. The best he manages is a weak spark of lightning that he ends up shocking himself with; everything else fizzles or sputters or drips uselessly, and he figures that if he keeps trying, he’ll just waste all his mana, so he gives it up. He feels around the stones, looking for any kind of weak spot he can exploit. He finds nothing and sits heavily on the bench, trying to think of what he can do next.

Shit, what if Lloyd’s in here too?! He hadn’t even thought about that, and now he feels like an asshole. He leaps over to the bars, trying to look down the corridor. “Lloyd?” he shouts. “Hey, bud, you there?! Answer me if you are!”

“Shut up!” someone down the corridor shouts back, and Zelos determines that Lloyd probably isn’t here. Lloyd’s one of them, of course, and he’s the big hero who saved both worlds. They wouldn’t lay a finger on him.

Relieved, Zelos sits back down. Lloyd will definitely be looking for him. But kind, friendly, brave, wonderful Lloyd is also, unfortunately, and to put it very kindly, not too bright. Even if he finds this place, Zelos thinks there’s a good chance he won’t ever find out he’s in here. Maybe if he strains his ears–and boy, wouldn’t it be wonderful to have hearing as good as Colette’s now–he can hear Lloyd talking to someone, and make a ruckus.

Yeah. Solid plan. He’ll be out of here in no time.

—

He thinks it’s been four days, and Zelos is sure he’s gonna go crazy in here.

Nobody talks to him except to yell at him for being too talkative. Whenever they bring him tasteless food or empty out the unfortunate pot under the bench–so far, once a day each–someone in heavy armor shoves him into a corner with his arms twisted up against his back so he can’t even think of escape. He tells them it’s a little excessive, and they don’t answer.

The little cell gets goddess-awful cold at night, and he huddles up on the uncomfortable bench. His vest is the only blanket he has, and it isn’t even warm enough or big enough. He misses all the crummy inns they’ve stayed at. Hell, he misses being able to stretch out in front of a campfire or curl up in a tent.

More than anything he misses Lloyd’s presence. He’s always got something to talk about with Lloyd, whether it’s some feature of Sylvarant that Zelos is new to or just a letter they got from one of their friends by carrier pigeon. He misses Lloyd’s little touches–that guy got awfully touchy-feely after they started traveling together. Just bumping into him while they walk or putting a hand on his shoulder while they (to the best of their combined ability) try to discuss strategy. Even just sitting near each other by the fire when they have to camp is nice.

And Holy Martel does he miss being able to take baths.

—

One afternoon (he’s lost track of how long he’s been in here), a few of his guards approach with his food and with a sigh, he automatically gets up and faces the wall, hands clasped behind his back. “Look at that, he can learn,” one of them snickers. Zelos grits his teeth as the chain-lock is removed and the door opens. He doesn’t even look up, fully expecting to be pressed against the wall like usual, but all he hears is the sound of the wooden plate being set on the floor, and then the lock is back in place.

What if this is some kind of trick? He slowly turns his head, and relaxes his posture when he sees they’re already gone. He forces his badly-cooked meal down, and slides the barren plate and cup out between the bars for them to collect later. It’s not enough to fill him up, never is, but he just has to deal with that.

—

His skin feels cold all the time, even when he’s wrapped up in his vest. Ever since he started positioning himself how they wanted for their rare visits, the little human contact he got was taken from him. He wonders if it would be worth it to act up when they bring food again, just to feel that bit of warmth on his arms.

“Zelos, you’re being stupid again,” he tells himself, staring listlessly up at the ceiling. “You don’t want them to touch you. And they probably don’t want to touch you either.”

He doesn’t even realize his next meal’s been skipped until his stomach starts hurting. He sits up, grimacing at his joints aching from the continuous cold. “Yo, where’s my food?” he calls down the corridor when he gets over to the bars.

He’s met with silence. He swallows dryly and tries again. “Hey, is anyone gonna bring me my food or what?!” Nothing. “C’mon! Just some water at least! You don’t wanna starve me, do you?!”

Nothing.

He waits several minutes, then sits back down on the bench, peeling off his gloves to rub his chilly arms. “Okay,” he mutters, pulling his knees up to his chest and huddling there. “They probably just forgot and they’re making it now. Maybe the stove broke. Maybe they’re out shopping.”

He keeps thinking up rationalizations long after it gets dark and he curls up for another night of restless sleep.

The sound of the chain being unlocked wakes him in the morning, and he sits bolt upright in confusion. Isn’t it too early for… whatever? His head is still too foggy to remember things. His stomach is practically howling, though.

A plate of his usual fare is placed on the floor, and Zelos is on it like lightning, cramming the hard bread and absolutely tasteless meat into his mouth right there on the cold stone. “Can’t believe he used to think he was so much better than everyone,” one of his captors comments. “They used to do this to us back in the ranch, you know? Just not feed us? Only sometimes it was for longer than a night.”

Zelos shudders at the idea, but he doesn’t look up. “You ain’t on our level yet,” the other says. “But we’ll get you there.”

They leave, slamming the door so hard Zelos flinches. He cleans his plate and crawls back up on the bench, still exhausted, still starving.

—

He doesn’t even realize how loudly he’s been talking to himself until someone storms into his cell and yanks him up by his hair (his poor hair really needs brushed, he thinks vaguely, still trying to cling to some hint of normalcy). “Can’t you just shut up for five minutes?” his captor shouts, practically screaming in Zelos’s face.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll stop!” Zelos says, struggling to get to his feet so his hair won’t get pulled out by the roots. “Just let me go, come on!” He clutches desperately to the hand holding his hair hostage.

His captor shoves him backwards to release him, and he tumbles back onto the bench, hands covering his head protectively.

There’s a hard impact across his face, and Zelos sprawls onto the floor, hands moving to his cheek. He feels like he’s been cut with a knife. When he pulls his hand away, he sees blood, and looks up to see that his assailant is shaking blood off one of their armored gauntlets.

“Hope that teaches you a lesson,” they snap, before storming off and locking him away again.

Zelos curls up on the floor, holding his wounded cheek and pretending not to cry.

—

More than anything, Zelos is cold. He misses warmth, he misses gentleness, he misses Lloyd’s hand on his shoulder.

After a few more encounters with the gauntlet, he misses talking, too.

—

The sound of steel on steel wakes him, and at first he thinks someone is clanging his door shut again. But when he doesn’t see anyone in his little cell, he thinks it was just another nightmare, and closes his eyes again. The sounds don’t stop though. So maybe he’s hallucinating. He curls up tighter on the bench, willing sleep to come again.

Someone is shouting his name. He forces his eyes open, and sees a blob of obnoxious bright red that makes his heart swell. “Lloyd?” he rasps.

“Guys, I found him!” Lloyd shouts, turning to look to the side. “Colette, can you get this cell open?”

His vision clarifies more, and he sees Colette, adorable, wonderful, very strong Colette swoop in with her wings spread and yank the door clean off its hinges. He struggles to his feet, but Lloyd is way ahead of him, running up and wrapping him in the warmest hug he’s ever had. “Lloyd, we should get him out of here,” he hears Colette say. “He doesn’t look good…”

Lloyd nods, releasing Zelos from the hug. He makes a weak noise of protest, but doesn’t complain as Lloyd lifts him up in his wonderfully warm arms. He leans into his friend’s chest, pretending not to cry again as he feels himself carried out of the cell and out into sunshine.

They stop outside the building, and Zelos opens his eyes, letting out a strangled cry of fear when he recognizes Brand and the person who’d most recently been encouraging his silence trying to block their exit. Lloyd’s arms tighten around him protectively. “You!” Lloyd says. “You were the one keeping him here?”

“He deserves to know what it was like for us!” Brand snaps. “His people had the same and worse done to us and our friends and families!”

“Zelos didn’t know it was happening!” Colette protests. “Doesn’t Martel teach that you shouldn’t repay wrongs with further wrongs?”

“Martel was fake anyway!” Brand screams. And Zelos is certain that Colette and Lloyd have a wonderful speech about faith and friendship and justice ready to go, but he very much needs to black out from fear now, and so he does.

—

When he comes to much, much later, Zelos briefly thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. He’s amazingly warm, and there’s an actual pillow under his head and what feels like a mountain of blankets on top of him. With a small noise of contentment, he burrows into his comfortable surroundings.

“Hey,” a familiar voice whispers, and he opens his eyes, looking up into Lloyd’s worried face.

“Hey yourself,” he answers, voice barely a croak. “Got any water?”

Lloyd starts to stand, but Zelos reaches out to snag one of his ribbons with a hand, eyes wide. “Don’t go,” he whispers when his friend turns back in surprise.

“Okay, I won’t,” Lloyd reassures him, sitting back in the chair. “Hey Sheena, can you get some food and something to drink for Zelos?”

“Just a sec!” he hears from outside the room.

Lloyd wraps his hand around Zelos’s outstretched one, and tears spring to his eyes immediately at that simple, gentle, skin-to-skin contact. He clings as tightly as he can and shuts his eyes, willing for this to all be real.

“We contacted Professor Sage as soon as we got to a town,” Lloyd says, casually reaching down to wipe away his tears as if further acts of kindness aren’t just about killing him right now. “She should be here tomorrow to take a look at you.”

“Thanks, bud,” Zelos says, voice rough from emotion and disuse. “I guess I owe you one. Sorry for disappearing on you.”

Lloyd shakes his head vehemently. “Don’t you even apologize for this! Those people were wrong to do all this. I hope they can find some way to atone…”

Zelos would suggest murder, but that’s not how Lloyd rolls, and he’s too exhausted to think much about violence now.

Sheena comes in with a tray of the best-smelling food Zelos has ever encountered–he doesn’t even care what it is, after eating basically nothing for however long he’s pretty sure anything would smell as good. Even Raine’s cooking.

“I made you some of our traditional tea too,” Sheena says, pointing to the round mug. “It’ll help you get back on your feet.” She hesitates after setting the tray on the endtable. “…Shinobi give it to people we rescue from interrogations, so it should help you a lot.”

“Thanks,” Zelos says. Lloyd pulls the blankets back to help him sit, and boy, feeling those gentle, calloused hands on him is just bringing up all kinds of emotions. He sniffs and wipes more tears aside, then carefully picks up the bowl of soup. It’s almost too hot for his bare hands, but he’ll take any sensation besides numb and cold just about now.

Sheena gives Lloyd’s shoulder a squeeze. “Take care of that idiot for us, okay?” she says. “I gotta get back to work.”

Lloyd nods, smiling. “Of course. Thanks so much for helping find him, Sheena.” With a wave to Zelos, she leaves the room.

Zelos lets the comfortable silence wrap around them while he scarfs down the food, deciding to ignore that he’s still just absolutely sobbing for now. “So,” he finally says, once he’s cleaned every last drop from his bowl and started on his tea, which is very bitter but still better than anything he’s ever had in his entire life. “How long.”

“How long what? Oh,” Lloyd says, realizing. He looks down at his lap, fists clenching there. “…A month.”

“Damn.” Zelos looks down at his hands, ignoring their shaking and holding the mug tighter. “Feels like longer.” He drains the rest of the tea in one gulp to distract himself and sets it down. As soon as he does, Lloyd’s arms are around him.

“I was so worried,” he says, voice wavering. “I thought you’d died, and when it turned out to be so much worse than that, I…” He squeezes Zelos tight, and the contact would’ve made him start sobbing if he wasn’t already. “I wanted to kill them, I really did.”

“Y-you should’ve,” Zelos mumbles, returning the embrace with trembling arms. Anything to feel Lloyd’s warmth more. “They were shitty and awful.”

Lloyd shakes his head. “Colette said they’re misguided… I want to think that’s true. But it’s hard.” His breath catches. “I was so scared for you, when I saw you in there. If I hadn’t been carrying you I would’ve…” He lets the implication go.

“Thanks for not dropping me to go ahead with it,” Zelos mumbles, burying his face in Lloyd’s shoulder. “Really appreciate it, Lloyd.”

Lloyd presses his lips to the top of his head, not quite a kiss, but enough to make Zelos feel okay again.

#badthingshappenbingo #tales of symphonia #zelos wilder #whump #hurt/comfort #cages #my writing

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