#you can take 'cultural christian' and stick it right up your ass

[almostdefinitelydying]

US Americans: in this discourse on Christian hegemony, we're gonna make sure to erase every single minority identity we haven't heard of (bc they come from "white countries") and force the identity of cultural Christian onto everyone, and then mock them if they react to this enforced..... Christian..... Identity... While we claim to criticize Christian hegemony and the horrors it causes. Makes perfect sense!

Scandinavians (over 90% of whom are secular atheists), indigenous Scandinavian people (Sami), Norse pagans, humanists etc: -looks into the camera like at the office-

[theowlandthekey]

When it comes to working with deities/spirits/entities and practices from a culture or ethnicity outside your own I follow a certain thought process.  On one hand we are looking at entities that from their point of origin do not belong to us. The likes of Papa Legba (Haitian Voudun), Lilith (Judeism), Hopi tribal spirits, and Mexican brujería do not belong to us. They are not from witchcraft and white people have no rights to them. They exist within the context of their own paths and their own peoples and you cannot pretend to sit here and have an understanding of them in the same manner as the people who were raised with this knowledge and under this belief system. At the same time, religion and spirituality is transformative. We do this all the time with the gods from Greek and Norse mythology, breaking down the original meaning of their myths and reworking it to fit in more with our modern day understanding of the world. Right or wrong, this is part of how a religion or belief system survives over time. It changes, it evolves, it alters in accordance with the people who adopt it. We’ve always done this right through to Christianity.  HOWEVER, this does not excuse white people coming in and stealing culture from others. We don’t have a right to claim practices and deities with such haphazard abandon simply because we get interested in them. It’s disrespectful to their culture of origin and the people who were persecuted for their practices during colonization and the subsequent eradication of these spiritual practices. The disrespect is real and I can’t imagine any entity from a marginalized ethnic group is going to receive that with enthusiasm.  Looping back around...nobody can stop you. If you can take all the hate and canceling from the internet, nobody can stop you from attempting these practices on your own. If you put a Lwa statue on your alter or start doing chants to Tawa nobody can keep you from doing it. But it would behoove you to keep in mind: Nobody is coming to save your ass either. You do this? You fuck around with shit you don’t know and you don’t have a grasp on because you think it’ll be fun or grant you power? Nobody is gonna pop up to save you from yourself. Nobody is gonna knock on your door and offer to cleanse your house for you. Every serious practitioner is gonna look you up and down and say “You got yourself into this. Get yourself out.” Not out of spite (necessarily) but because nobody can help you solve the problem you created. At BEST if they are feeling generous they may be willing to open communication and offer you a line of reparations you’re gonna have to undertake to get shit back on the level. But thats not a promise. So you go fucking around sticking your nose into shit you know nothing about don’t act surprise when it gets sliced off.  If you really wanna learn about spiritual practices and entities from a culture outside your own? Thats not a bad thing. It’s good to learn more. It’s good to increase your knowledge. It’s good to develop your understanding of other cultures and their spirituality so you can better respect it. You may discover some of the practices you’ve already been doing were stolen or copied and that gives you a chance to clean them out of your witchcraft and find better alternatives. If you really wanna start practicing under the heading of a non-Eurocentric, non Christian spiritual faith, show the respect necessary and find people who come by it honestly. You have to be willing to do the hard work. You have to be willing to do more than read The Idiots Guide To “_________” and pretending like you are ready. Ya’ll do this shit with witchcraft anyways and thats bad enough. But pulling that cheap trick on already misunderstood and oppressed spiritual paths is rotten on a whole other level. This shit is hard work. This shit is demanding. The gods/spirits/entities are not an unforgiving lot but they don’t have any patience for fools. If you’re lucky, they’ll laugh and ignore you outright. If not, they can fuck up your life in a thousand little ways. It may take you a long time to really connect and find your footing. You have to be willing to accept that you may not be accepted on this path for whatever reason. It’s not your lane. And that’s okay too. The good news is there are a lot of diverging paths in the forest and there is likely one for you.  On a final note: there is no such thing as the ‘right path’. There is no universal correctness when it comes to spirituality. Older does not = better. Newer does not = woke. What matters most is offering that equitable exchange of ideas and being willing to enter into the conversation with an open mindset. 

[lonely-teddy-bear]

The King’s Mate • chapter 2

(rewritten version)

word count: 2.4k

I will try making them longer, but it means it’ll take me more time to write which I don’t mind but I do go to college and have to read books weekly but I will write as much as I can on my free time :)

Don't hate me, i left a cliffhanger ;) hope you all enjoy!

———————————-

Chapter two

Waking up to the sound of my phone ringing loudly, which I assume was the doing of my lovely friend, I grabbed it while still having my eyes closed. I didn't know what time it was or who would be calling me (because I didn't bother checking) but I hope they have a reason to why they would be calling and waking me up.

"Good morning sleeping beauty! Rise and shine we are leaving in an hour so get your ass out of bed and come to the front of the campus. I'll wait here for you with coffee." I wasn't aloud to let out a hello from Micheal talking fast and hanging up right after finishing talking. I don't know how he even has this much energy so early in the morning.

Getting up with a groan and sitting on the edge of the bed to take a minute of my surroundings, I looked at the time on my phone that was still in my hand to see that it was seven in the morning. Geez I wonder at what time Micheal got up this morning.

Since I took a shower last night and had everything packed I just freshened up and changed in some decent but comfortable clothing, and since it was cold outside I made sure to cover myself to keep myself warm.

Arriving to the front of the school I was able to see how I was probably the last one to arrive but gladly was able to see I wasn't. Looking around for Micheal, I was able to find him talking to I'm guessing it was one of the advisors that will be joining in the trip. Heading over to them I smiled at both of them and greeted the advisor with a good morning, even though it wasn't a good morning with the cold weather.

I looked around while they both talked, I didn't want to be rude and eavesdrop on their conversation.

After the other advisors arrived we made a straight line and made us sign in, while we started getting on the bus. We handed our bags to the bus driver where he later placed them in a storage compartment under the bus. I had every intention of heading to the very back, but Micheal pulled me by my arm and with his head he pointed to the middle seats. I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything because all I wanted was to catch up on some sleep.

Once everyone was on board we started to make our way up to the nearest werewolf pack, which for our luck it was the royal pack.

The Royal werewolves where like the king and queen of England but they ruled over the werewolves and were more old fashioned. At least, that was what I heard from the others that had gone.

The ride over to the pack was supposed to be around an hour, so I made myself comfortable and put my earphones in and closed my eyes while I enjoyed the music. Lucky for me, Micheal had fallen asleep not even ten minutes into the ride so I was safe to take a nap without having to be bothered by him.

Sooner than what I expected, I was already getting shaken awake and when I opened my eyes I saw that it was the advisor.

"Come on, we have arrived. Everyone is waiting outside." I looked to my right and saw that Micheal was gone as well. I can't believe he left me, so much for being on my side at all times.

I met everyone outside, noticing that they were all gossiping and talking among each other. I pushed through the crowd of people, making my way towards the front of the group to see what was going on. I was able to spot Micheal right away but what caught my attention was that there was a girl on his arms. Walking over to him, I tapped him on his shoulders causing him to turn around. Once he noticed it was me he gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I left behind but you wouldn't wake up at all and I kind of got pulled out from the bus." He gave a side glance towards the girl on his arms. Looking at her who surprisingly was almost my height, I saw how she was glaring at me. The glare was so hard that I swear I would have been dead if a glare was able to kill someone.

I raised my hands up in surrender. "We are friends, nothing more I swear. I fully respect the mate bond."

I had heard from a literature that it was best to submit to the werewolf community, no matter what it was for but especially when it came to having friends with mates. I didn't really believe that they would be super possessive but by the way she was looking at me I guess I was wrong.

After a couple of minutes her glare softened and gave me a smile. "I'm sorry, my wolf doesn't really like it when other girls talk to our mate but she seemed to have read you and liked you."

Read me? I glanced at Micheal but he just shrugged, just as confused as I was.

The voice of a man caught my attention, causing me to walk to where I was standing next to Micheal and looked to where the man was which wasn't far from us.

"Hello everyone, my name is Christian and I will be your leader for today's tour. Over there with the tall handsome man is my sister Christina who is in fact my twin and she will also be joining us in this tour. If you have any questions, don't be scared to ask either of us, we won't bite." He sent a wink while smirking after making the bite comment. Some people laughed at the irony and some just looked scared.

"So, you all will be following me while my sister stands in the back taking care of everyone to make sure no one drifts away. With that, we ask that you do not touch anything and try your best not to drift away from the group. We do have guards in almost every corner and they won't be as nice as Christina or me will be, if you are caught wondering off. We do want you to enjoy the tour and learn about us and our culture." He started walking and we all followed. I decided to stick with Micheal and Christina in the back, but made sure to not look like a third wheel next to them.

We walked deeper into the woods and while we walked, I looked around to see how tall and big the trees were. Christian was talking about the werewolves nature and how they shift and run through this woods, but only on the other side of the walls where it was safer for them.

I stopped looking around when I heard people's gasps. In front of us was a castle like building. Tall walls made of gray stone stood strong and acted as a barrier to their territory. I couldn't help but to think of how the whole thing made the woods look darker and scarier than they actually were. Despite the eerie feeling, it also gave off the sense that you were about to meet royalty. Which in a way, we were about to go into a castle where the queen and king lived.

"This here was the first thing built. The stone walls go up to 15 feet tall and in some parts they go taller. They surround almost 8 thousand acres, but we have added more to the pack. At this point we have lost how much acres we have. This here," he pointed to the fence but didn't touch, "are made of pure iron and yes the plants that you all are near by are wolfsbane. We have this in case there is any rouges." He stopped talking when a guy raised his hand and started talking.

"What is a rouge?" Christian gave a small smile at him, "A rouge is a wolf that doesn't belong to anyone, has gone mad if you say. They are ones that have either been kicked out or have lost their mind in some way, maybe lost a loved one, which usually happens when a wolf loses its mate." I heard Christina whimper, causing me and others near me to look at her , she was holding Micheal as if her life depended on him which in a way it did.

The gates opened up without having to press anything, "I used the mind link to get the guards to open the gates," he laughed and continued walking inside.

I looked around and saw people walking around. There were women with children and some men training or hanging around. There were even some wolves that were bigger than I had imagined.

Christian kept talking about what they did in their free time. They seemed to do what us human did, they had jobs, they went to school, they had activities and events, they seemed so normal except the random wolves in the field.

We were taken into what looked like a small castle. It had a gothic structure, but didn't look scary, it looked fancy and welcoming. Going inside caused everyone to gasp. My eyes looked over my surroundings, understanding why there had been so many gasps. It was absolutely beautiful. Gold and white colored almost every surface. The chandeliers sparkled from how clean and bright they were, there was a staircase in sight but we didn't go up, instead we went down a hallway. The hallway was wide enough for us to walk through and have our space but the hall was decorated with so many things. There was clocks that looked older than me, picture frames with paintings on them, they seem to be the queens before the one they have, while the floors where covered in dark red carpet.

"So this here are the previous queens. We like to have them up here so when the next queen comes she'll know where she'll be and so we can honor them, as well." A girl raised her hand and Christian pointed to her waiting for her question.

"So you don't have a queen right now?" Christian shook his head and looked at the wall of queens.

"Not at this moment, we have been waiting patiently for the king to find her, but he is starting to get impatient so let's hope one of you is the next queen so we can all live in peace."

Another girl raised her hand and continued asking her question, "Are we going to meet the king?" Christian chuckled but nodded. "Yes, you will. Everyone meets him because we are looking for his mate. All the werewolves who don't have a mate are waiting at the town hall where our alpha is as well." Everyone started to whisper around, about how it would be cool if they were the one for the king and so on. I, on the other hand, was interested in the first picture of a queen. She looked so familiar but I couldn't think of a name. I didn't realize everyone had moved on and left me behind because when I snapped out of my trance it was by someone clearing their throat behind me, everyone was gone.

I turned around, feeling scared that I was left behind and that someone finding me meant that they could potentially hurt me. I looked around and saw no one in the hallways, not even Christina nor Micheal. They are so distracted with each other I bet they haven't even noticed that I was gone.

I looked back to the guy in front of me. He was taller than me, like way taller, he might have been around six feet tall which, in comparison to me who was barely 5'3, was tall. He was beautiful, captivating and I found it hard to look away even though I knew I should. His green honey eyes were staring back, holding me in place. I wanted to push the hair that fell into his face away, but knew better then to go touching some random guy's face.

Finally he spoke, cocking his head to the side as if he was curious, "Are ya lost?" The accent he spoke with took me off guard. I did not expect that because Christian nor Christina had accents, so why did he?

I wanted to speak, but all my mouth was doing was opening and closing like a fish desperate for water. He furrowed his brows and came closer to me, touching my arm. The trance I was in was broken with the shock I felt in my arm. "Ow! What was that?" I looked down at where he touched me and saw that there was a mark. A mark that I had never had before, it looked like a crescent moon.

I placed my hand over the moon like mark and looked up at the guy, who was staring at my arm in shock before he looked at me with a crazy look in his eyes.

In a blink of an eye I was pinned up to the wall, both his hands next to my head. His face was very close to mine and the only thing I could think of was the smell that surrounded me. He smelled so good and for some reason, I couldn't help but to inhale and smell his cologne. I felt a hand on my face, causing me to open my eyes which I didn't know I had closed. When my eyes met his, his eyes were shining and looked greener than before. His face came closer to mine, eyes focusing in on my lips. The hand that rested on my face moved down to grip at my hips. I knew he was going to kiss me and I wasn't going to fight him on it.

*******************

chapter two is up also in wattpad! I know I left you all wanting more but wait for chapter three ;)

guesses on who the green eye guy is?

If you want to be in the tag list just comment and I’ll add you to it :) xx

Tag list:

@iam-a-painted-whore​ @heautifulharry​ @kaepm981​ 

[things2mustdo]

I heard a family member make remarks on the ‘victims’ of Hurricane Florence, who knew well in advance the possible horrors which came crawling their way. But were those who decided to stay victims given the warnings? They also espoused, essentially, that rescue teams shouldn’t put their lives at risk for those who remained in harm’s way.

This brought me back to a conversation with a man who has been big on situational awareness in terms of avoiding assailants who aim to pierce your heart and rob you while you lie in a pool of your own blood. He asked this question about what one does when in a dark alley and you see a suspicious character coming your way? My response was something to the extent of whether or not I even had to be in the dark alley? That was his point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHq4dbQBa14

Now, I’m not remotely suggesting rescue teams avoid doing their job, but it did get me back to situational awareness and understanding the justice brought about when you are foolish enough to venture into a dark alley on the wrong side of town, or remaining in Florida when you damn well knew the potential risk involved.

That got me thinking about the recent political violence and acts of domestic terrorism caused by Black Lives Matter and Anti-Fascists. So, in regards to our contemporary state of the political and cultural arena, and what surely awaits us in the next US presidential election, here are some simple, basic tips about situational awareness and being prepared in case civil unrest breaks out.

1. Understand The Baseline Of Your Environment

Political rallies across the US demonstrate the capacity of violence and the willingness to assault in ruthless manners. Both men and women of more right-wing views have been assaulted, been threatened to be raped, have their families killed, get doxxed, have dead animals thrown at their living quarters, had their finances threatened, etc. It’s a goddamn nightmare on the more North Side of America than the South Side, where not everyone has a bamboo stick up their ass.

There are many great articles written on situational awareness. And that’s key: situation. The environment, in a general sense, has a baseline. It’s the basic overall feel and operation of that set area.

For example, you go to the mall. What’d you expect to see, generally speaking? People walking and talking, laughing and usually carrying a bag or two. It would, in this context, be out of the ordinary if an individual, dressed in all black, is quickly walking through a crowd while he has his hoodie on and hands in his pockets. It’s odd behavior. Same for someone moving nervously carrying a bag that does not appear to be bought at a store or, to add to that, he doesn’t have workman apparel. It’s out of the ordinary.

If I’m at a bank and someone walks in, sits in the corner for an unreasonable amount of time without engaging in any transaction and appears to not work there, I’m alert. Are his eyes moving around scanning for cameras, are his lips moving to suggest he’s counting something, is he in apparel which could perhaps more easily conceal a gun?

Same if I’m out sitting while enjoying coffee and an all-black car pulls in and just sits. Whether the engine is on are not does slightly change the degree of the potential threat of the situation. If it’s on, is it a quick getaway for a potential crime? And is it at night where there are fewer people and witnesses?

These are all pretty basic to practice, in my view. So it doesn’t help when everyone’s head is glued to their smartphones. Especially with women. They appear to be much less aware than men who themselves very much have this issue with their smartphones.

2. The Gray Man At Political Rallies

The concept of the Gray Man is simple: blend in. Do not create stimuli around you. Gray is often considered a very bland color. It’s boring, lifeless, moot. This isn’t to suggest wearing gray makes you undetectable, but the concept works well with this color.

Blend in so well to your environment that you essentially appear bland. But if you’re at a political rally, then you know anyone is a potential threat. Wearing a Trump hat or an American flag raises suspicion, creates stimuli from your political adversary, and now you are made. If you’re European-American, wearing a hat over your shaved head is a good idea in terms of lessening your presence because there is still widespread delusion about the reincarnation of literal Nazis.

People involved with BLM, AntiFa and other leftist gangs are already going to make assumptions about your character and will dehumanize you and engage violently. Perhaps lessening that delusion, if even possible, could potentially add to your safety and security, in some respects.

It’s not that one desires to give up their chosen headwear and so on, but weighing the pros and cons should be obvious if you wish to avoid conflict. Which, again, these days is hard to do.

3. Consider Your Neighbors And Conversation

Depending upon your living situation, if you’re in California, talking openly with your neighbors about politics in relations to conservatism, in a positive light, creates quite a stir of stimuli. And, given the next US elections are coming up, you’ve made an impression in their mind. If they believe you are a literal Nazi, you’ve coined a political adversary. If you’re in the deeper South surrounded by red-necks and American-loving Christians, chances are, from my observations, you’ll be less likely to be attacked for your political (or religious) views.

I personally despise having to sometimes lower my voice or take a quick glance around because I’m about to say something that might cause stimuli to a potential assailant. But, in these contemporary times, it’s up to you to decide what’s worth it and what’s not.

Conclusion

These are merely a few things of quality in regards to your safety and security. I’ve been quite observant. It’s not always intentional, but I’ve seen things and made assumptions (or had a strong thought about it) and turned out to be spot on.

Identity your adversary. Weigh in how much of a threat they are to you. Pay attention to who they know or talk to, then extend that person’s conversation partners and then extend it again. Leftist are ruthless, dangerous, hateful devils. And remember, if you ever see anyone wearing the hammer and sickel, then be even more alert.

Read Next: Being Situationally Aware Is A Matter Of Life Or Death

It is 7:30am on the day after Christmas in 2004. The sun is already up in the blue sky of the Andaman sea, and some rare tourists are walking on the main beach of Phi Phi island in Thailand. Most of the tourists are still sleeping, dealing with the usual hangover that comes with the traditional Christmas party.

The locals are busy preparing the long tail boats they use to cruise around the nearby islands. Some Westerners like me, who live here, fill and carry the diving tanks the scuba divers will use to explore the underwater reefs today.

In less than an hour, this idyllic landscape will turn into a dramatic nightmare and many of those people will die, crushed and drowned by the powerful wave of a tsunami coming from the Indian Ocean.

Was there a way to prevent that? Not more than preventing a hurricane in Florida or an earthquake in California. Scientists can predict it, multi-million dollar sensors can detect it, information networks can announce it through various media, but there is no way to prevent it from happening. But we can be more prepared than when I experienced this tsunami in Thailand. Governments and local administrations can invest in infrastructures to mitigate the potential risks and better inform the general public.

And individuals can be better prepared to deal with the consequences of natural events. The people who tragically died on this island were not different from any other people on this planet. As a matter of fact, a vast majority of them were young and relatively fit. They didn’t survive for only a handful of reasons, mainly:

lack of situational awareness

lack of appropriate mindset

lack of physical skills

The situational awareness and appropriate mindset are mainly due to the fact that, when we are on vacation on a tropical island, the last thing we want to think about is the remote possibility of a tragic event of any kind. If the place is nice and sunny, if the locals are friendly and smiling, we quickly feel safe and let our guard down. No pickpockets, no fire, no mugging, no earthquake, no car crash, and therefore no need to pay attention to any precursor sign, no need to keep our valuables and documents with us at all times, no need to have a look at evacuation routes, fire exits, etc. In other words we quickly become complacent when everything looks like paradise.

But this lack of situational awareness and appropriate mindset was only one side of the coin for the many fatalities that occurred that day in Thailand. One of the main culprits was the lack of physical skills. Many people didn’t survive simply because they didn’t have the physical abilities to deal with what happened to them and around them.

Some were not comfortable in the water and couldn’t swim across the strong current that the wave and the obstacles created. The event only lasted a few minutes but the water raised quickly and submerged the lowest part of the island.

Some were not able to hold their breath for a few seconds. When the wave hit the hotels and guesthouses near the beach, most of the rooms were submerged very rapidly, but not for very long. Surprise and panic killed a lot of people in their rooms.

Some were not able to hold on to fixed objects for more than a few seconds. The current was strong and being able to hold on something, or even better to climb onto something, was a good way to increase the chance of surviving.

Some were not able to run away and climb a hill or a stairway. For those who were on the beach and saw the wave coming, the proper action was to sprint and find high ground. Reaching the highest floor of a hotel or one of the nearby hills was a good way to avoid the full force of the tsunami.

Some were not able to push away heavy objects. Entrapment was one of the major risks in this event. Many people drowned because they lacked the necessary strength to move away the objects that the current pushed onto them.

The Western world tends to rely heavily on tools to make our life easier and tools to make it safer. Instead of dealing with the weather, we use tools to make it more bearable (A/C, heater, umbrella, raincoat, sunscreen, etc). Instead of moving in this environment, we rely on tools (a car or an ATV instead of walking and running, a canoe or a boat instead of swimming). We easily blame the lack of protection that can get us injured (“I cannot walk/run without shoes”, “I cannot float without a flotation device”, “I will fall and break my skull if I don’t wear a helmet”, etc).

Tools are fine and make our life more enjoyable most of the time, but what if? What happens when we don’t have them? That’s where skills and physical abilities make plenty of sense. Every one of us, regardless of age, gender and race should be able to do at least the following things:

sprint for at least 100 yards/meters in order to get out of danger (collapsing building, wild fire)

climb over a wall or fence at least shoulder high (to escape an angry pitbull or a group of thugs)

carry for at least 10 yards/meters someone of 3/4 of your size and bodyweight (to save someone from an immediate danger)

swim at least 100 yards/meters without stopping and float at least 10 minutes with no aid or support (to get out of a dangerous zone and wait for a rescue vessel)

walk 5 miles in an hour (to reach a gas station when you run out of gas and you cannot call for help)

perform some basic self-defense techniques (striking, grappling) to react appropriately in a mugging/rapping/life-threatening situation

hold your breath for at least one minute while walking/moving at a slow pace (to escape the toxic fumes of a building on fire)

crawl for at least 30 yards/meters to seek cover (active shooter situation) or rescue someone (a child hidden under a car, or someone trapped under or inside something)

If you think that any of those abilities is way beyond your limits, it’s maybe time to reconsider your priorities in life. Being self-sufficient and prepared doesn’t mean relying on tools—it’s knowing that you can deal with dramatic circumstances to the best of your abilities. Tools come in handy when you have physical limitations (age, injuries, illness) but they shouldn’t be the first line of defense.

Having some regulations that require a floatation device in every hotel room in Thailand will not save any life if the next tsunami in the region happens in South Korea. Use your body and your brain. They are the original tools, and you have them with you all the time!

Read More:  How To Improve Your Situational Awareness From One Minute Of Effort Per Day

[qqueenofhades]

So, it’s Friday evening, and it turns out I have more thoughts about things that happened this week. I almost never do Discourse on this blog, on whatever subject, but sometimes even your friendly local depressed historian gotta say things. If you’re not in the mood for a long-ass meta-y text post, just keep on scrolling, no hard feelings.

In the wake of the Notre Dame fire, which obviously a lot of us were upset about, and profoundly relieved that it did not end up being completely catastrophic, the usual spate of posts began to pop up, alleging that people only cared about Notre Dame because of the loss to Western/European/Christian history, that nobody had been this upset about the National Museum of Brazil or the outbreak of arson at three black churches in Louisiana in the same week, and so on. I don’t blame anyone for making those posts, because I know they cared about those issues and wanted to ensure that their importance was communicated, especially when something major like Notre Dame was getting all the airtime. However, I couldn’t help but notice how that followed the same pattern as all Woke Tumblr Discourse (tm). An event happens, people express reactions to it, and are then attacked or indirectly shamed for not expressing reactions to another event. Or there’s the usual cycle of “nobody will care about this because it’s not happening in America”-style posts, or passive-aggressive insinuations that “you don’t care if you don’t reblog this.” And -- I say this with the greatest kindness possible, because I know, I know you guys care -- it’s... not helpful.

The culture of Tumblr and other left-wing sections of social media often rests on enacting performative wokeness, on showing that you care about the most Progressive (tm) issues, or that you have thoroughly scrutinized your fandom tastes or political beliefs for anything Problematic and/or can prove yourself to an imagined moral standard (and there have been some great metas written on how this essentially replicates conservative evangelical purity culture, with the goalposts switched). This is why we keep having to circulate (and doubtless will have to do so with increasing frequency) those posts reminding the left not to eat its young and flame all prospective Democratic challengers to Trump in 2020 to a crisp before the right wing, which is only too happy to let us do the work of sabotaging ourselves, even gets a chance. This is also why you see the posts responding to said angry “nobody cares about this!” posts, in which people mention the fact that not visibly reacting to all the (vast and terrible) injustice in the world does not mean they don’t care. The world is a big place. So is the internet. I can guarantee you that people do care, and just because you didn’t see immediate evidence and response to it when you opened up your Tumblr dash is not proof of a collective nefarious conspiracy.

Take me, for example. I am a thirty-ish academic and historian who considers myself well-informed and literate in current events. I read national and international news every day to find out what’s going on (because I live in England, the answer is Brexit, and the status is Failed). And yet, there are plenty of things that I only hear about for the first time on Tumblr, often attached to one of those “nobody cares about this!” posts. And you know what? I do care. I care a lot. And I’m guessing that most other people do as well, because no matter how it may feel, the majority of individuals are fundamentally decent people with basic empathy for others, even if our whole system is a nightmare. But the urge to demand why nobody is Discoursing about this issue (again, among a vast and exhausting sea of them) needs to take a few fundamental things into account. 

First, the American media (as a large portion of readers are relying on) simply does not report this stuff. Look at what’s happening in that godforsaken country right now; does it really seem like the kind of place that’s eager to tell you about Brazilian museum fires or black-church arson? I’m someone who makes a conscious effort to read the news no matter how depressed it makes me, and I still miss tons of stuff, because it’s not there. The Western media reported on Notre Dame, people knew about it, and were upset. But when those of them who did not know about the National Museum of Brazil learned about it, they were also upset. We can definitively say now that the National Museum was a bigger and more irreplaceable tragedy in terms of what burned. But we were also apparently 15-30 minutes away from losing all of Notre Dame. You can be upset about both these things. You can express empathy for the history lost in both cases. There is not a greater moral value attached, and you’re not racist for caring about Notre Dame if you heard about it first (unless you’re only upset about Notre Dame for reasons related to race or perceived cultural superiority and are peddling vile conspiracy theories about Jews and Muslims intentionally burning it down, in which case you are a racist). Almost everyone who learned about the National Museum fire was just as horrified.

2019 is a hard and monstrously unfair and tremendously difficult place to live. The internet has made exposure to both all the information and no real information at all simultaneously possible. Not everyone can display active engagement and empathy with every tragedy everywhere. People have jobs, lives, kids, work, school, other commitments, mental and physical health to look after and even when they read the damn news, there’s no guarantee whatsoever the news is going to report it. If they haven’t made the conscious effort to search out every scrap of terribleness that exists in this hellworld, they.... really should not be shamed for that. If they don’t care even after they learn, that’s another debate. But again, in my experience, most people do. But if they are first exposed to it by someone claiming they won’t care, that makes them less likely to engage with it, and to want to enact meaningful change. Firing wittily sarcastic takedowns at easy targets on echo-chamber liberal Twitter is one thing. We all enjoy a good roast and venting our frustration at times. But as a long-term engagement strategy, it’s going to actively backfire.

I talk a lot about being a teacher, and my experiences with my students, but it’s relevant again, so here goes. The kids in my classes come in believing some pretty strange things, or they flat out don’t have a clue even about what I consider basic historical knowledge. If my reaction was to shame them for not knowing, when they have expressly come to me to learn better, I’m pretty sure I’d be a bad teacher. My strategy, whenever a student can actually be nudged to answer a question, is to pick out whatever correct thing they said. Even if the rest of the answer is wrong and we need to work through it, I start by highlighting the part of it that was right, and to build their confidence that I’m not just going to tear them down when they respond. Freshmen are scared of not knowing things and to be made to look like an idiot, so I try to assure them that I’m not going to do that and I will constructively engage with their contribution and treat it seriously. You can then move to dealing with the other parts of it that may not be right, or even Mmm Whatcha Say side-eye. It is a long and often frustrating process and sometimes after reading their essays, you wonder how much of an impression you made. But if you actually want to get people to care about things, you can’t mistake Ultimate Wokeness or Look How Progressive/Anti-establishment/Enlightened I Personally Am for the simple requirement of being a decent person. You can have the greatest and most necessary beliefs or value systems in the world, but if your response to people is to lash out at them even before they begin the conversation, you’re setting yourself back. And I know that’s not really what you want to do.

This should not be interpreted as some wishy-washy “everyone just needs to be nice to each other!!!” kindergarten-playground-rule. I frankly think the whole system could use a good nefarious dismantle, and you sure as hell don’t get there by mistaking insipid moral equivalence for necessary action. But accepting the existence of people different from you, and considering how you want to engage with them, and understanding that issues are complicated and people are flawed, is a fundamental part of being a mature adult (and this has nothing to do with chronological age; there are 15-year-olds who are plenty more mature adults than 50-year-olds). I honestly do love the desperate desire to make people care, and that, for the most part, is why people who identify as liberal or left-wing do so, because they want to (and they do) care. But it’s also why they can be bad at winning elections and getting into meaningful positions to enact this change. The right wing stays on message and sticks together. Even if they absolutely hated Trump, plenty of Republicans held their noses and voted for him anyway. The left did not do that. The greatest virtue of liberal thought, i.e. its determination to include multiple perspectives, has increasingly reduced it to smaller and smaller camps where only the purest survive, like some kind of ideological Hunger Games. It might be great for making yourself look good to your hall of mirrors, but.... not so good for actually doing something long-term.

Once again, this is not to blame anyone for being upset and worried about things, for wanting people to know about them, and so forth. But I am gently-but-firmly suggesting, in my capacity as old, salty, queer spinster academic aunt, that perhaps you consider how you start the conversation. Once again, it’s my experience that most people want to know and want to care, but there are countless factors that mean not every bad thing in the world will be acknowledged everywhere by everyone at all times. You can care about different things for different reasons. That is okay. You can care about something because you have a personal connection to it. That is also okay. You can not care about something because you just don’t have the capacity and are emotionally exhausted and there’s so much shit in this world that you have to compartmentalize and set boundaries. That is also okay.

For example, I was obviously very upset about Notre Dame, and still am, though I’m relieved it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Am I happy it’s going to be restored? Yes. Am I unbelievably angry that a half-dozen of the elite uber-rich could just suddenly throw billions of euros at it for its restoration, when it had to struggle for years to get funding for crucial renovations? Yes. Do I feel as if that if the vaults have suddenly been opened to restore one major European Christian landmark, it’s incredibly heartbreaking that that level of instant capital just won’t be addressed to actual endemic, long-term issues like global warming and social inequality and the Flint water crisis and whatever else, and that this is a sad and troubling message for our society in many ways? Yes.  All of these things exist together. And I imagine most people feel the same way.

In short: I realize this is the internet, and therefore just is not designed to do that, but maybe we can give each other a little bit more of the benefit of the doubt, and think about how we would like to educate and engage those we come in contact with, whether virtually or in reality. We can do it wherever and whoever we are, with anyone that we meet, and I wonder what it would be like if we did.

[mythologiafennica]

Juhannus – the magic and the myths of Finnish Midsummer

You know the picture, dark silhouettes of people dancing frantically around a flaming red bonfire. Bare feet, love potions, sauna, odd rituals, a night that never comes, a sun that doesn’t set. You know the picture.

Even to this day Juhannus (’Midsummer’) has a special meaning to Finns. It’s completely normal to go ask your boss if you can leave the office a little early today since it’s Juhannus and you’re supposed to go to your cottage. (That is, if your boss hasn’t already left for the exact same reason.)

We burn our bonfires, we gather seven flowers, hop over seven fences and sleep with the tiny bouquet under our pillows in order to get a glimpse of our future lover in our dreams. But where do these old habits come from? What is Juhannus at it’s core? Well gather around the candle children, for I will do my best to unravel it.

The origin

As in many other European cultures, Juhannus is a celebration of fertility and light. During the pre-Christian times, this celebration was held in the name of the god Ukko. When Christianity started to gain hold the celebration got to carry the name of John the Baptist (fin. Johannes) since his birthday was supposedly celebrated around the same time. The old name, Ukon juhla (celebration of Ukko) held on in southern Karelia until the late 1800′s. In some dialects Juhannus is called mittumaari, mettumaari & messumaari.

The events

Certainly the most well known tradition associated with Juhannus is the bonfires. This originated from Karelia and was absorbed into the celebrations held across the country during the 1900′s. So this is in fact a fairly new part of the festivities. The bonfires are mostly associated with the cleansing of bad spirits and bringing about good fortune, good crops and healthy cattle.

Bathing in the sauna was done early in the day, so as to be clean and ready to take on the nightless night when the time came. The sauna and the house would be adorned with green leaved trees, most commonly birch and/or aspen. Young birch trees would be cut down and placed on either side of the main door and to frame windows. A thorough cleaning of the house was also considered an important tradition, as usual during the turning of seasons. The clean floors would then be covered with the leaves of rowan, aspen and bird cherry.

In parts of Ostrobothnia people set up a spruce tree on the yard (sort of like a Christmas tree, but trimming away all branches except for the very top, leaving a hat of sorts.) This tree then stood on the yard until kekri, harvest time. Whereas birches would be taken down quite soon after Juhannus was celebrated.

The magic

As is with so many other seasonal turning points, Juhannus was also seen as a time when the borders of the spirit world and our world thinned, and therefore it was a brilliant time for magical purposes. Love related magic was not only very popular but also easy for everyone to do. Juhannus was the time when one could catch a glimpse of their future, be it good harvest or a new lover.

The dew that covered the fields on Juhannus was seen as the very power of the crops and thus it held immense power. One would collect it from their own fields, store it and give it to the cattle when autumn came in order to strengthen the cattle with the force of summer before winter. The dew was also used to cure various common illnesses, either by drinking it or sprinkling it on the skin.

As concluded in my text about healing, people believed that the amount of good fortune was fixed, and therefore one could perform dark magic on the night of Juhannus and snatch away another’s good fortune by collecting the dew from their field and sprinkling it on their own. This way their crops would flourish as the other’s would shrivel and die.

The dew also provided help in powerful love spells. After a maiden who desired to be wed returned from watching a bonfire (or right after bathing in the sauna) she would roll naked in the fields belonging to a house where a desired partner lived. The powerful dew would then stick to the maiden’s skin, and furthermore, when the men of the house would later in the year eat the bread of the crops, the lust and desire would then get a hold of them as well. And they would then live happily ever after.

Here’s a little list of easy midsummer magic for seeing your future partner:

place a four leaved clover under your pillow for the night

place a wreath tied with nine strands of hay under your pillow for the night

look into a well, naked, at midnight

listen to the cuckoo singing in the night, each sound is one year until you will meet your lover

walk around a triangle shaped field thrice, naked, and on the third time you will meet your lover

the smoke from the bonfire blows towards the one to be wed soon

if logs stood up after the bonfire burned low, there would be as many spinsters as there were logs standing up

walking backwards towards a pile of logs after sauna would determine the kind of lover you would get, if your butt hit a log that was split in half your lover would be taken or married already, but if it was still whole your lover was single and would be your entirely

The myth

Aarni, the guardian deity of treasure, cleaned his treasure during the night of Juhannus. He would burn away the mildew and rust on his coins and jewels, creating a magical flame with a blue hue. This rare flame was called aarnivalkea (cf. wisp) and by following this blue light one might stumble upon a fortune.

One could increase their chances of spotting such a blue flame by looking for it through a ring shaped object; better still if the ring was formed naturally, such as a twig that had formed into the shape of a ring as it grew. A skull worked also, but it had to be fetched from the cemetery on a midsummer’s night. The best place to look for an aarnivalkea would be from high up a tree or at the crossroads where three roads met.

The journey to the treasure of Aarni was a perilous one during which one would meet all sorts of horrors from the world beyond, one of them being a mythical ox. If one was brave enough to hold the ox by it’s horns they might wake in the morning to see that they were holding a pot of treasure instead.

Pteridium aquilinum, bracken (fin. sananjalka, saniainen), was believed to bloom only on the night of Juhannus. It was believed that it used to be a beautifully blooming plant until someone had wiped her ass with the leaf of a bracken, and the poor plant was so ashamed of this that it only dared to bloom in the midst of midsummer’s night.

If one was lucky enough to see this mythical blooming they might also be able to snatch the seed of the bracken, which was believed to grant one magical powers, such as the ability to turn invisible. Another magical trick was to cut the bracken close to it’s root at a slant and then look at the black dots appearing on the surface. These would form the initials of, you guessed it, one’s future lover.

Getting drunk and being noisy during Juhannus was believed to bring about a good harvest and good fortune as well as banish bad spirits. So in honour of these ancient traditions, that is exactly what I plan to do this Juhannus, drink responsibly and make some noise to keep away the forces of evil.

Questions?

[aclassiguy]

nobody’s gonna read this but i’m gonna rant a little as an ex-fundie kid with a perspective on unconscious bias re: thedas’ religions. (i’ll grant you i do not have encyclopedic knowledge of dragon age, so i’m commenting based off what 90% of people know - the games)

If we’re assuming that every interaction concerning the religions in Thedas is intentional, it’s genius. It represents real world religious dynamics so well. But that’s also assuming we’re going to be allowed to confront those religions; otherwise, it’s just a carbon copy with no purpose but to reflect reality. You’re duplicating problems, without offering avenues for solutions or even criticism.

I want to leave this uncut in case a piece of it actually caught someone’s eye for some reason, but I’d feel bad if I did that.

I’m actively agnostic. I have no problem with other people being religious. I react quite negatively to both active and passive attempts at conversion. I know a LOT about Christianity. I know some, though not as much, about other world religions.

We can pretend all we like that Thedas is a world completely separated from reality. “Lighten up, it’s just a game.” I can, however, point to direct parallels between game concepts and real world concepts that I find quite troubling (Blackwall’s plot, certain wartable missions, Descent DLC), I can expound on those at length as well. And of course it’s just a game, and you can stab people with no consequences and all that - that’s fine. Stabbing people in a game isn’t likely to make you think it’s OK to stab people IRL. But a game has the power to subtly reinforce existing biases which can cause real harm.

Christianity is a dominant world religion. In fundamentalist circles, one of the tenets is to spread it to as many people as possible, to save them from themselves. Even casual Christians adopt this attitude when they tell you how sad they are that you’re not Christian, because they think you’ll be happier as one and can’t fathom how you’d be happy without god. I can get REAL deep into Christian psychology, but I’ll spare you. The thing is, this is an insidious train of thought that has been beaten into the world by its victors. Monotheistic religions are treated more seriously than pantheons. The Bible is held as separate and more holy than “myths,” which are treated as little better than Harry Potter novels. Religions that encourage non-Western behaviors are treated as scary, deviant, and oppressive - to be obliterated before they dare to try converting precious Christians - DESPITE Christians actively trying to lure those believers away from their “scary” faith and into Christianity. They think their own religion is more normal, or their own culture is more normal. All of this leads to many, many Christians (as well as your average Westerner) holding really racist, xenophobic views they don’t perceive as racist or xenophobic.

SO LIKE - I’ll just make a bulletpoint list:

Andrastianism = Christianity (esp. Western brand)

Evanuris = Pantheistic religions

Qun = Eastern philosophies

The familiarity and diversity is fine. There’s pros and cons to each religion, just like real life. Thedas is fun because it takes aspects of discrimination like racism and sexuality and pretzels it to be same-but-different. No matter your background, you have the chance to get really involved in the ethical dilemmas provided, the visceral experience of being insulted and responding to insults with pride, and it’s fun to read something new and feel some kind of vindication if you had a suspicion before.

What irritates me currently about the religions is that every time I get a little taste of “Okay, finally, we’re acknowledging the damage a religion like this can do,” I get kicked right the fuck back. I spent so long hating the Chantry more and more because it started to become clear to me the intentional abuse being directed at literally anyone who wasn’t a non-mage human, and even then they abused their own followers to exert further control over mages for personal gain. (Seriously, FUCK the Chantry.) FINALLY, Exalted Plains acknowledged that the Chantry steamrolled over the elves in a brutal slaughter, where Sister Whatserface tried to blame the elves for being “too far from the Maker” but she was a good person for “showing them more mercy than they deserved.” Clear signals that Bioware intended it to be taken as it was - an unjust crusade. Then what do they throw in my face? Some documents intending to show that the elves were “also at fault.” Excuse me? I’m sorry, excuse me?!

Elves had already been the subject of extensive oppression at that point, and given the racist goddamn teachings of Sister Whatserface and ALL THE DIVINES, I can hardly blame the elves for being just a little testy with the humans sticking their noses into their lands trying to force them to convert to Andrastianism. “Equally to blame” my ass. This is a pebble against a boulder. And yet I’m supposed to treat it like some kind of shocking revelation. Ooo - should I turn these documents in to the Chantry to exploit the elves some more, or should I give them to the Dalish, who then react with shame? There’s no just option: have the Dalish explain why maybe elves would be just a little angry, and have my Inquisitor go “oh yeah, that makes sense. kbye”

Finishing up with the Dalish, we get told by some pride demon ass lying fucker that all the Dalish gods that these poor widdle uneducated primitive elves worship were essentially slavers. Hahah. WHAT. Sorry. WHAT. You’re going to make me play through a game with my character’s religion shat on or flat out ignored at literally every turn, and my vindication is to be told it’s all fake and my ancestors were idiots for ever believing? Canonically? Really? When do we get told that we checked the Fade and the Maker wasn’t there and don’t these humans look pretty dumb now?! Or is that too risque because Andrastianism is a little too close to Christianity?

Then there’s the reaction to the Qun. I have loved Qunari since Sten. I honestly think it’s a really cool concept and I would love to explore it more deeply. I also LOVE Sten. Sten seemed so calm and generally fairly accepting, although he had his own flaws. He also had hidden depths - push aside the fronting and you get his cookies and chocolate loving sweetness. (If people hate him, again, come see me after class so we can have a chat on why you stan Blackwall but not Sten?)

But it seems like the Qun is falling victim to the world needing a reliable villain. What was once a mysterious system of beliefs existing outside the concept of the Maker or Dalish gods is increasingly this Scary religion that oppresses women and mages in barbaric ways, and is treated as horrible for trying to spread their religion to other lands (allow me to remind you of Exalted Plains and why every person in the game seems to be Andrastian by default, or at least Andrastian-sympathetic). It’s essentially playing up the fears that makes people uncomfortable with Eastern religions, relying on xenophobia to make them hateable enough that you don’t accidentally end up with too many Qun sympathizers in the playerbase. Even though you can play as a Qunari in Inquisition (hell yeah), you aren’t allowed any kind of Qun background. It’s understandable in some ways, plot-wise, but baffling in others. How much cooler would it be to have access to Qun beliefs like the Dalish has access to the Evanuris?

And now they have the Qunari poised to be the result of doing horrible dragon-blood experiments on elves by MORE slavers, and their religion’s entire purpose is to limit their horrible dragony desires to murder people, but now they want to subjugate others to live under their rule of law to make a horrifying monotone culture. Aren’t these scary-looking Qunari even more scary? There’s a reason to hate them now, they’re canonically more violent, just like the dragons! (Do not get me started on how dragons are treated. Actually, do, I have a lot of thoughts on that too. lmao) REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Then you have the Tal-Vashoth, not only defectors who found fault with the philosophy who are then hunted relentlessly by the believers, but also twisting back on themselves to be crazy violent, therefore simultaneously a condemnation of the Qun and an affirmation of its necessity to keep Qunari from being violent. Where are the defectors from Andrastianism? Literally every ex-fundie Christian kid I know has had a sex and/or drug-fueled meltdown period after having their core beliefs and foundation obliterated. Why do we have all these pure innocent Chantry Virgins, but no defectors? The only atheist you get to meet is your own Inquisitor, and you have a HELL of a time through the whole game as a result of it. (Though I will say the payoff at the very end of the game is so very worth it.) Almost ALL of your companions nag you about why you don’t believe you’re Chosen. I have yet to play as a believer, but I haven’t seen any indications I would be criticized for it.

And so what of Andrastianism? Is it fakery? Lies? Canonically brought into existence to oppress people? The product of slavers?

NOT YET.

Any criticism brought against Andrastianism is neatly and shortly thereafter countered, not by an untrustworthy member of the Chantry but by some word-of-god canon itself. The Maker stands, silent, valid, unchallenged.

There’s nothing wrong with presenting these complex scenarios, but if you don’t have the time, resources, or courage to REALLY plumb these depths, give everyone fair criticism (and it is not fair to ding the predominant world religion with the same criticisms as you level against a dying minority religion), don’t bother. You make the real world problems worse.

[itsmarjudgelove]

It doesn't get much better than this ca.1892-95 studio portrait by T. ENAMI showing some of the accouterments of a "Japanese Ancient Warrior" --- as Enami himself titled the image --- No.581 in his old Catalog of 2-D images.. And I must say, what a meek, mild-mannered, milk-toast sort of guy he appears to be. One photo-historian even remarked about old "Samurai Photos" that the subjects appeared to be women posing as men. My own three daughters (all born and raised in Okinawa) tell me that, with only some notable exceptions, Japanese men are the most effeminate men in the world --- an evaluation no different than that offered by Commodore Matthew C. Perry after dealing with the Japanese in 1854. So, what's up with that ? We'll get to it. But first...check out that great Fan he's holding. JAPANESE WAR FAN This Enami studio photo is undoubtedly the best 19th Century image of a Japanese War Fan. ".......Gunsen (軍扇) were folding fans used by the average warriors to cool themselves off. They were made of wood, bronze, brass or a similar metal for the inner spokes, and often used thin iron or other metals for the outer spokes or cover, making them lightweight but strong. Warriors would hang their fans from a variety of places, most typically from the belt or the breastplate, though the latter often impeded the use of a sword or a bow...... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_fan There are other close, classic Meiji-era views of Samurai --- taken by other famous photographers of the day --- that fall into the above class of fine portraiture. However, photographer T. ENAMI appears to have been the only one who gave prominent display to the War Fan. The above glass plate photo with its hand-applied colors is about 115 years old. It is highly possible that this is the same armor T. ENAMI used for his own self-portrait seen here : www.flickr.com/photos/24443965@N08/2383039735/ More about the Armor and the Photograph is mentioned farther below. But first, here's a bit of controversy to keep your history balanced and complete : QUESTION for HETEREOSEXUAL MALES : Can a gay guy kick your ass ? ANSWER : You're damn right ! Especially when he's a SAMURAI ! THE GAY LIFE in OLD JAPAN These days, when we talk about or visualize the Glorious Samurai, our mention of them is usually devoid of something important. The world's social and religious aversion to homosexuality has worked to separate and sweep under the rug this once-understood and accepted facet of the Samurai. In its place, we are left with a group of men who have been "cleansed and sanctified" in the minds of Westerners who have been raised in a nominally monotheistic religious culture, giving us a conservative republican Samurai Warrior with Western, Judeo-Christian family values, living with a so-called "honorable" code of ethics that makes for the stuff of macho dreams found in testosterone-fueled Hollywood movies. Time to set the record straight : CONSERVATIVE STATEMENT from the WEB : skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/13853/was-homosexual... Samurai --- Virile, Strong, Warriors among Men, and Fighters after the Spirit of Bushido --- The Last Samurai of Hollywood fiction --- ALSO CARRIED THE BANNER OF HOMOSEXUAL LOVE INTO BATTLE WITH THEM, AND PRACTICED HOMOSEXUAL LOVE AS AN HONORED AND TRADITIONAL WAY OF LIFE. Therefore, if you are a fan of "all things Samurai", you better not be anti-homosexual, and you better not be a GAY BASHER. The real Samurai held GAY LOVE in high esteem, and encouraged it. Gay love and relationships were considered beneficial for the youth, teaching him virtue, honesty and the appreciation of beauty. WIKIPEDIA ARTICLES on the WEB, CULLED FROM HISTORICAL SOURCES : "........Shudō is the Japanese tradition of age-structured homosexuality prevalent in samurai society from the medieval period until the end of the 19th century. The word is an abbreviation of wakashudō (若衆道), "the way of the young" or more precisely, "the way of young (若 waka) men (衆 shū)". The "dō" (道) is related to the Chinese word tao, considered to be a structured discipline and body of knowledge, as well as a path to awakening. The older partner in the relationship was known as the nenja (念者), and the younger as the wakashū (若衆). en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shudo PEDERASTY or BUST !!! The practice was held in high esteem, and was encouraged, especially within the samurai class. Their homosexual lifestyle was considered beneficial for the youth, teaching him virtue, honesty and the appreciation of beauty. Its value was contrasted with the love of women, which was blamed for feminizing men. With the rise in power and influence of the merchant class, aspects of the practice of shudo were adopted by the middle classes, and homoerotic expression in Japan began to be more closely associated with traveling kabuki actors known as tobiko ( 飛子) , "fly boys," who moonlighted as prostitutes......." en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty MILITARY SAME SEX LOVE ".......From religious circles, same-sex love spread to the warrior (samurai) class, where it was customary for a boy in the wakashū age category to undergo training in the martial arts by apprenticing to a more experienced adult man. The man was permitted, if the boy agreed, to take the boy as his lover until he came of age; this relationship, often formalized in a "brotherhood contract", was expected to be exclusive, with both partners swearing to take no other (male) lovers. This practice, along with clerical pederasty, developed into the codified system of age-structured homosexuality known as shudō, abbreviated from wakashūdo, the "way (do) of wakashū". The older partner, in the role of nenja, would teach the wakashū martial skills, warrior etiquette, and the samurai code of honor, while his desire to be a good role model for his wakashū would lead him to behave more honorably himself; thus a shudō relationship was considered to have a "mutually ennobling effect". In addition, both parties were expected to be loyal unto death, and to assist the other both in feudal duties and in honor-driven obligations such as duels and vendettas. Although sex between the couple was expected to end when the boy came of age, the relationship would, ideally, develop into a life-long bond of friendship. At the same time, sexual activity with women was not barred (for either party), and once the boy came of age, both were free to seek other wakashū lovers. Like later Edo same-sex practices, samurai shudō was strictly role-defined; the nenja was seen as the active, desiring, penetrative partner, while the younger, sexually receptive wakashū was considered to submit to the nenja's attentions out of love, loyalty, and affection, rather than sexual desire. Among the samurai class, adult men were (by definition) not permitted to take the wakashū role; only preadult boys (or, later, lower-class men) were considered legitimate targets of homosexual desire. In some cases, shudō relationships arose between boys of similar ages, but the parties were still divided into nenja and wakashū roles......" en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_Japan YES, THE SAMURAI COULD, AND DID MARRY --- In spite of the fact that PEDERASTY WAS THE RULE when the men were doing their soldering and war-mongering, they did marry women under carefully observed social rules. However, this was not for mutual love and family relationships as Westerners would normally define marriage between a male and female. For the Samurai, sexual relations with a woman was more along the lines of a "necessary evil" to procreate for the purpose of making more little Samurai to keep things going. WHY THE ANACHRONISTIC USE THE WORD "GAY" IN MY SAMURAI CAPTIONS ? Some will call these guys "BI-SEXUAL", but for the sake of this caption, I'm sticking to "GAY" --- a 20th Century transformation of the word that used to mean PARTY-TIME HAPPY --- an in "The Gay '90s" --- but is now used for men who have a sexual preference for other males. I am retroactively applying the modern "Gay" tag (in a performance sort of way) to liven up the discussion. If the Samurai were alive today, and "doing their thing", we would all be calling them "The Gay Military of Japan". Actually, it is almost as ridiculous as some goofy Westerners saying "....the RAINBOW symbolizes the LGBT community....", thus causing conservative Christians to scramble in an effort to remove all Biblical Rainbows from pictures of Noah's Ark. Any other appeal to "historical and cultural social context" to say these men were not homosexual (or that "Gay"and "Homosexual" are two different things) --- in spite of the Samurai's conditioned sexual preference for male intercourse --- is just a lame misdirect by modern-day Samurai lovers who are chagrined by the fact that their "warrior heroes" preferred the joy of porking other men instead of porking their wives. I say "pork", because in old Japan, sexual relations between men and women were not anything close to what we call "making love". So, even while "makin' babies" under the "stuff we don't really want to do" rule, the Samurai continued to hold the sexual love and bonding with males as the preferred and highest highest love, and the "necessary evils" of being "joined to a woman" as an obligatorily social headache. As we all know, there are plenty of Gay men living in many countries of the world today who, for various social reasons (including the threat of death), emotionally and sexually live in the same situation --- loving men, but setting up house with women --- some resolving the emotional predicament better than others. ****************************************** THE ARMOR and THE PHOTOGRAPH The man in the photo is not a Samurai --- at least not when this photo was taken. The Samurai were banned in the 1870s, and did not exist as a functioning social entity --- militarily, politically, or personally --- at the time Enami took this photo in his Yakohama studio in the 1890s. While he might be a male model or Enami's assistant, it is also possible that --- if he is in his 30s or 40s --- he could have been one of the last Samurai, or a Chugen before the ban came into effect, and he is now donning his old Armor and displaying the War Fan simply for this photograph. It is also possible that the model's father was a Samurai, and the armor belongs to his family. Such speculation about the man in the image is simply that --- speculation. There are many on flickr who know more than I do about the various parts and pieces of armor on display. Yet, even though I know basically nothing when it comes to these things, my uneducated eye can still appreciate what looks like a finely made arm guard (Leather and links?) and the contoured hand and knuckle guard seen wrapped around the back of his hand. As already mentioned, the War Fan is impressive --- the dark-red Rising Sun on a black-lacquered bamboo and iron fan. It is rarely seen in photographs, if at all. The skilled melding of function, form and art by patient craftsmen over the centuries is evident in everything from the unseen swords nestled in their sheaths, to the black curved line of the darkened helmet interior that mirrors the arc of the opened fan. As for that charging "lion dog" on top of his helmet, is it actually alive ??? When all else is pin sharp, why would only the golden lion have blurred ? Perhaps there is some Meiji-era magic at work here --- something lost with the passing of the last Samurai...... ******************************************************* ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPHER : www.t-enami.org/ TECHNICAL PHOTO COMMENTS : Like many of my T. ENAMI posts, this is taken directly from an original glass slide. The slide was placed on a small light box (5,000K), copied with a hand-held LUMIX camera (done right, no keystoning), cropped in PICASA, and bordered with MS PAINT. The bound slide is 3 1/4 inch square --- originally a French format, but used all over Europe during the Meiji and Taisho eras. The actual image area of the Samurai on the glass is about 2 inches by 2 1/2 inches, and colored by hand in Enami's studio by artists using magnifying glasses and fine brushes --- some as thin as a single hair. If you look at my other T. ENAMI SLIDE sets, you will notice that a majority of them have painted back drops. However, some of his earlier portrait work was done against a white back drop --- including full studio groups. The above background appears WHITE because Enami's slides are made with a silver-gelatin emulsion on glass, which gives pure whites in the highlights --- of course, this background on the slide is not white; it is clear glass. The "white" is actually the surface of my light box seen through the clear glass --- just as "white" on a movie screen is really the light from a white projector lamp shining through the clear portions of the movie film. However, when Enami printed his earlier portraits on paper, the emulsion was made from albumen (egg whites). Albumen prints have a tendency to yellow over time depending on how ell they were processed, or if they are subjected to less than ideal conditions over time. All things considered, the background of the above Samurai image is the "whitest" I have seen so far, and to be honest, part of me would have preferred some kind of patterned or natural background to the white emptiness. On the other hand, it is a slide, and it would have been "seen on black" (as we say here on flickr) in a room darkened for the purpose. I imagine that when this portrait appeared on the screen, it had an instant impact on the audience gathered to see the slides. Most slides of Japan in any show would have been filled to the frame with various objects, color, and shadow. Therefore, in a darkened room or hall, the sudden flood of white light coming from around this Samurai must have caught the attention of any on the verge of sleep or boredom. ! Certainly, this is an interesting image on many levels. For other examples of Enami's earlier studio work using a blank back drop under various intensities of sky light (consider both weather and processing that would result in various shades of "white to gray") compare all of the images on this page : www.flickr.com/search/?w=24443965@N08&q= In any case, a photo on glass will always be much hardier than a print on paper, helped along by a piece of cover glass that adds further protection to the image. Such is the above, still looking nice after over 110 years or so. All of my posted ENAMI sets are here : www.flickr.com/photos/24443965@N08/collections/7215761388... For more on Enami himself see : www.t-enami.com/ *************************************** PS. Last post for a few days. I've got a sore forearm that flickr member "numonous" says might be an over-used trigger finger on the mouse. Another flickr poster, "filippadevries" will probably beat me to death with a wet soba noodle if I don't go see a doctor about it ! ;-) So, I'll give it a rest for a few days. See you next week..... * * * RANDOM SOBA : www.flickriver.com/photos/24443965@N08/random/Tried this Pin?Add a photo to show how it went

[tessatechaitea]

New Titans #113

In Dick Grayson's memories, Starfire and Cyborg were Christ figures while Aqualad spent 100% of his time trying to suck his own dick.

When my beloved cat Pelafina died a few months ago at eighteen years old, my eulogy was simply this: "She was the best gift I was ever given." And then the Non-Certified Spouse just sent me a picture of some Lobo socks that our friend Xan wants to give me and I just said, "Now Pelafina was the second best gift I was ever given!" Just in case anybody was wondering just how dedicated I am to my hyperbolic love of Lobo!

How do I show these off? Shorts while wearing long socks?! How gauche!

And just for comparison so you can truly understand the infinite limits of my hyperbolic nature which can declare those socks better than Pelafina, here is Pelafina for comparison. I am not responsible for your hearts melting.

I just ordered Koji Suzuki's Loop, the third novel in the Ring saga. Spiral was so fucking yo-yo bananas that I figured they could never make a movie of it. But I was wrong, being that I think like an American and no like a Japanese. Because they audaciously made a film of it (Rasen) and I watched it a few days ago. Inexplicably, the movie remains completely true to the book. I say "inexplicably" because this is the first time I completely expected a fuck-ton of changes to the premise and the plot. I naively thought, "There is no way they're going to make a film where the curse of the video tape jumps into the journal of the reporter from the first movie because it somehow senses the report will be a more virulent mode of transmission. But then almost immediately, the virus will be all, 'You know what? What if I infect this guy and have him fuck this chick? That means I could spread to her in a much more normal virus-y way!' And because that might make the entire premise of the Ring series less supernatural because now the virus has suddenly decided to spread like a normal virus instead of like some techno-virus spawned in the dank and smelly recesses of some 4channer's basement lair, the story will have to introduce a new twist! Now the virus won't just kill! It will cause the woman infected by the virus to give birth to a clone of themselves except possessed by Sadako, the woman who climbs out of the television in The Ring. Which is a premise no movie audience would ever be expected to swallow! Especially when the plot also asks you to believe the virus can clone anybody one Earth through the Sadako clone as long as you possess their DNA and understand in vitro fertilizaion! Oh, and also the clone is birthed at the exact age the person died? Or the sample was taken? I don't know, it's all so confusing that nobody would ever make that fucking movie." So, anyway, good for you, Japan! You did it! You win again! Seriously though. How is Loop going to be any crazier than Spiral?! I can't wait to find out! This issue begins with Dick Grayson helping to rebuild the Amazon village where Kory broke up with him. He's showing some emotional growth as he contemplates the naked chest of one of the villagers, Maria-Theresa. If you're now thinking, "That's an odd name for a native of the Amazon," have you done any reading on missionaries? Whenever anybody tells me all the good religion has done for the world, my entire rebuttal is the word "Missionaries!" screamed at the top of my lungs. I've finally decided to embrace the phrase, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Why should I have to explicate my missionary argument to another grown-ass adult who should understand the whole bullshit idea of spreading their religious dogma to other cultures? How does that help anybody?! Oh wait, I forgot. It lets Jesus collect more souls so he can stick his tongue out at the devil and say, "Nyah, nyah! Hallelujah! Amen!" Dick realizes that he's been a selfish child and constantly expected Kory's emotional support for his problems while always sighing and rolling his eyes at all of Kory's problems. Which might be a step up from his paternal role model who did all of those things but to a butler because he thought women were just for fucking. Is that a step up? At least Dick was trying not to treat all women as penis cozies? At least all non-red-headed women! I've lost my train of thought. Again.

Oh yeah! Dick was learning to forget about Kory through emotional growth and new boobies.

The rebuilding of the village ends with a big celebration after getting the cross on top of the rebuilt church. That makes me super sad. How many Amazonian Rain Forest Gods were displaced due to this incursion of Christian bullshit?! I hope they become super villains. Dick loves how quickly the villagers manage to rebuild the village without somebody taking control as leader. Maria tells him, "Yeah, dumbie. Is that the right word? 'Dumbie'? Anyway, we all know what we need to do and we do it without anybody standing back and judging our every movement like some dark controlling knight!" And Dick is all, "Yeah! I wish that would work with the Titans! But how can I trust Changeling to turn into the right creature without me telling him? And how can I make sure Cyborg will synchronize using his white noise cannon while saying 'Booyah'?! And I'm just supposed to trust that Raven won't rape and impregnate everybody we meet with her father's demon babies?! Pshaw! No way!" What I'm trying to say is that Dick hasn't really fucking learned anything. At least not yet! I'm still just a few pages into his journey! Dick takes a canoe down the Amazon while contemplating his life. I think maybe Maria slipped him some hallucinogens. Although most of his thoughts are on his friends and loved ones and how they've always been there for him and how he hopes he hasn't let them down and how maybe he should celebrate those who died as heroes while none of his thoughts are about how he's lived five thousand years or how that monkey keeps looking at him or how the number three seems to connect all of reality and explain the meaning of everything and why the fuck is that monkey still looking at him and have you ever wondered why you push pause on the remote to pause a show but then can push pause again to unpause it? Like, is it its own antonym?!

Seriously though. In 113 issues, did Dick ever lead the Titans into battle? Weren't the battles all just relatives and/or old villains attacking the Titans directly, without any say from Dick? Also, I kept in the Starfire side boob for you perverts.

Dick eventually blames his self-absorption for why he was raped by Mirage. He blames himself for not realizing he was with another woman who just happened to be able to shape herself like any woman. I guess maybe when she was all, "I'm going to put this strap-on straight up your asshole, okay?" he could have wondered why Kory didn't realize she was shoving the bat-grapple gun up his ass. So, yeah, maybe it was kind of his fault. I don't think I'm victim blaming when I'm just shrugging my shoulders and letting the stupid victim blame his stupid self. Some son of the world's greatest detective he turned out to be! He couldn't even tell his dick was in the wrong vagina! Dick's navel gazing causes him to plummet off of a waterfall which pretty much sums up his entire situation over the last hundred or so issues. I'm not sure if Marv Wolfman meant for it to be the case but I guess I have to assume that he did, no matter how much I don't want to. Oh, also, he doesn't die. He just has a revelation as he falls that maybe he didn't cause Jericho's death or Terra's death or Cyborg's death or Kole's death or Danny Chase's death or whatever other Titan deaths I'm forgetting since there have been so many. Also maybe Kole didn't die. She might just have been super boring. At the end of Dick's journey, the Narrator declares, "Dick Grayson was once The Boy Wonder. But today he has become a man!" Maybe this was the beginning of the end of my hatred of Dick Grayson! Marv was all, "I'm done writing Dick Grayson as the angry kid trying to live up to Batman's legend! From now on, he'll be his own man, compassionate and thoughtful!" Also, maybe Marv just continued to write him as a bitter asshole and I was right not to like Dick Grayson until the 21st Century. The prologue features Starfire on a satellite in a garden throwing a snake back to Earth from orbit. Maybe she's the one on hallucinogens? New Titans #113 Rating: C. I like that Dick Grayson supposedly grew up in this issue but I'm not sure how he really changed. The entire premise that he considered his life and what he should be doing distracted him from the waterfall ahead was just Dick repeating all of his life's errors. But somehow this time, he had a revelation? Whatever, Marv! I guess I just have to accept when you tell me through the narration boxes that Dick is now a man!

[marvmacdonald]

“she's fucking impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fucking fearless.”

MARY MACDONALD is 21 years old and works as an JUNIOR AUROR and is loyal to THE OOTP they were an GRYFFINDOR and are a MUGGLEBORN. SHE look like CHRISTIAN SERRATOS. 

CHARACTER PARALLELS: jessica jones ( jessica jones ), leia organa ( star wars ), arya stark ( asoiaf ), johanna mason ( the hunger games ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), rosa diaz ( b99 ), ellie ( the last of us ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), kat edison ( the bold type ), nina zenik ( six of crows ) AESTHETIC: red lipstick stains on drained cups of tea, leather jackets, cigarette bums crushed under doc martens, sitting down in the shower and letting time pass by, always wearing your gold cross necklace, messy ponytails, beer burps, laughter that’s filled with desperation, jean dungarees, screaming in your pillow, mud stained clothes, denim on denim on denim. LINKS: stats. pinboard. character tag. playlist.

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb, the former of which was, of course, accurate ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in. magic was deemed evil by the church they attended. everything about this was supposed to be wrong, but her parents shifted their views because their love for their daughter was greater than their desire to cling to all the rules the church laid down for them, this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

i mean --- her parents accepted her, they were capable of openmindedness despite being traditional people in most other situations. other people can too.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her head straight.

this entire situation is up for change and stuff when/if we get a mulciber! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a full ass day. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

it’s only recently that mary graduated from her training and became a junior auror. it’s ... infuriating, at times, but also amazing. she hates the ministry and most of the people in it, feels paranoid in those walls, but knows that there are good people, too. people who want to better that place, like she does.

kaz brekker voice: brick by brick, i will destroy you.

also --- mary is ... very quite involved in the war. her time is divided between the order and work, and her dog. she’s determined to get this war to end. she doesn’t even care if she destroys herself in the process --- what does her life mean, if she could help save numerous people?

so right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits.

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but she’s ruthless — in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things — she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means.

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win. tbh i’m sure she has a growing interest rn. stop it mary :(

and she’s also like — mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

a proud scot. a proud latina. proud proud proud. such a fucking lionness.

mary was a beater during her time at hogwarts and was Highly competitive. threw herself into the sport tbh after the mulciber incident. she still thinks football is superior, but you know, it isnt in the air.

she’s pan and out of the closet --- something that did put a strain on her relationship with her family. ( the fact that they could accept her magic but not her sexuality ... baffles mary, but bigots have never been very reasonable. ) she’s not very open about it at home, but otherwise ... she’s out here lovin everyone.

plot ideas!

roomies —– so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc —– mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc!

party pals —- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together —- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club —- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas —- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc —- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

[ilooklikeididyesterday]

Soft - Chapter V

Summary: Being the duteous younger brother of Harald Finehair, Halfdan the Black marries an English woman for gold and alliance. By his own admittance Halfdan did not understand women, let alone an English born lady who had no idea of his culture, and he none of hers.

Antonia was under no disillusion that she would never be able to choose the man she would marry, and had forgone any notions of romance when she was but a young girl. However, she never envisioned that the man her father would choose for her to marry would take her across the sea to a faraway land where she didn’t speak the language or know anything of their culture.

Warnings: Bullying, rape, strong language, adult themes, child death

Tags: @alicedopey @naaladareia​

       Harald never let Antonia out of his sight, growing ever suspicious of her. Since their return to Vestfold Halfdan never left her side and he saw them growing closer. She’d put him under some Christian spell he was sure. In the process of Halfdan warming to her, he became cold towards Harald.

Harald sensed something was wrong, something had changed and whenever he broached the subject Halfdan either yelled at him or just stormed off, Antonia following behind. She did something - or at the very least knew something - and he had to seperate them to find out why.

       Antonia found a long, fairly sturdy branch and lifted it up into the harder to reach branches of the large tree. She hit one of the branches with her own stick a few times and several apples fell.

“See?” She gloated.

Halfdan smirked. “Let me try.” He took the stick from her and hit the branches harder and more vigorously, causing more apples to fall. Antonia ducked and shrieked with laughter running out of the line of fire.

Halfdan bent and stabbed the nearest apple to him which had fallen on the ground with his small dagger, picking it up and started to peel the skin. He managed to peel the entire apple skin in one go, holding up the long spiral, quite proudly. Antonia held out the palm of her hand and the peel coiled in her palm like a green snake.

She looked to Halfdan to find him already looking at her. He quickly turned his attention to the shaved apple in his hand, taking the knife again and cutting a slice. He held the slice flat on the blade and offered it to Antonia. He meant for her to take the slice off the dagger with her hands but to his surprised amusement she leant forward and carefully took the apple slice between her teeth. It crunched in her mouth as he cut another slice, this time for himself, mimicking her actions and taking the fruit directly from his blade.

He cut another and offered it again to her. She took it the same way, this time some of its sweet juice fell from her lips. She was about to wipe it off her chin but Halfdan had beaten her to it. He cupped her chin, thumb wiping the juice away. He bought the pad of his thumb to his own mouth, sucking the juice off. He gave her a small smile, almost shyly and she found herself staring at his lips. When she realised she was staring she lowered her head, feeling heat rise in her cheeks and she hoped they hadn’t turned too pink and he noticed.

He cupped her chin again, bringing her vision back up, thumb skimming on her bottom lip. He looked from her parted lips to her eyes, silently asking for permission. She felt her head give the slightest nod which she hoped he saw. He lowered his mouth towards hers, and she heard herself gasp.

“My Lord,” a voice came from beside them.

“What?” Halfdan snapped, dropping his hand and turning to the man who had approached them, unnoticed.

“Your brother needs you at the docks.”

“What for?”

“I - I don’t my Lord, I was only asked to d-deliver a message.” The boy stumbled over his words.

Halfdan sighed and turned to Antonia. “You will wait here? I won’t be long.”

“Of course.”

       Antonia sat against the tree eating the apple peel from her hand. It was getting cooler even during the day, and the birds which had once sat in the trees and merrily sang all day had flown away to find warmer weather already. After a few minutes she heard footsteps approaching.

“That was quick!” She stood from the tree, wiping the dirt off her bum, expecting to see Halfdan returned already. “Oh! Hello King Harald.”She greeted with a small curtsey. “Halfdan is at the docks.”

“I know. I requested his presence there, as I need to talk to you. Alone.” Harald crossed his arms and approached Antonia, forcing her to be stuck between the large tree and him. “Is my brother ill?”

“No.”

“Then what ails him?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head.

Harald’s hands gripped Antonia’s shoulders and he pushed her back into the tree. “I am your King, you do not lie to me. You’ve done something to my brother, some Christian nonsense and you will tell me what is wrong with him.”

“I haven’t done anything and there is nothing wrong with Halfdan.”

“He is not the same since England.”

“Why? Because he doesn’t follow you around like a lost sheep anymore?” Antonia tried to push out of his hold on her, but his hand gripped her throat, not tight enough to hurt but it was very uncomfortable and the threat was imminent. His blue eyes burned brighter as he bought his face close to hers and growled.

“You are nothing, do you understand? You are a piece in a game that we played to get money from your father to build an army. You think anyone cares if I throw you in the fjord? You have no family now and Halfdan will quickly find another cunt to warm his cock at night.”

Harald’s hand left her throat and she was relieved, only to feel a sudden sting on her right cheek as the back of his ringed hand smacked across her face. She gasped in shock and pain and bought her hand to touch the tender area. His fists grabbed the front material of her dress and balled it into his hands.

“I will have you bound and whipped if need be, little girl. Now, tell me, what did you do to my brother?”

“She did nothing.” Halfdan spoke, dagger poised at the King’s throat, having come back from the docks and crept silently upon them. “Perhaps you would like to ask me what I will do to you, unless you let go of my wife?”

Harald laughed, dropping his grip. “You see? She has bewitched you with Christian nonsense! A blade to your brothers throat? You won’t kill me, Halfdan. You won’t even hurt me, brother.”

Halfdan growled in frustration, pushing Harald to the ground, sheathing his dagger. He was right. He couldn’t hurt, certainly not kill, his older brother. Even when they were children and fought, Halfdan always conceded first. The thought of hurting his brother, not being able to stop, terrified him.

Halfdan stood over Harald as he laid on the grass. “Perhaps, in time, I would have told you what happened. But not now.” He gestured behind him, towards Antonia. “We are spending the winter in Kattegat. You will not follow us and you will not touch her again.”

       Bjorn was surprised to learn his friend had decided to travel to see him so close to Winter. Light snowflakes started to fall as Halfdan’s solitary boat docked. Even more surprising was that his brother had not traveled with him. And the most surprising thing of all was that Halfdan was married.

And his wife was stunningly beautiful.

Bjorn could tell she was English by looking at her - dark chestnut hair, pale skin and her overall stature was smaller than the blonde Viking women he was used to. Her hips didn’t look wide enough to bear children but he bet she was tight and he wanted to test out his theory.

       “A person?” Antonia repeated, feeling queasy. Being reunited with Bjorn had bought back memories of their Mediterranean travels which Halfdan bestowed on Antonia at night whilst they were lying in bed. “What did it taste like?”

“Pork, but less salty.”

Antonia pulled a face. “I ate pork today.”

“But I suspect you will never eat it again.” Halfdan turned to his side, trying to look at her profile in the dark of the room. A small fire was burning, offering warmth in the freezing winter, but it’s glowing light didn’t reach the top of the bed.

“Probably not,” she laughed lightly. He let go of her hand and propped himself up beside her. She looked up to him. He traced the profile of her nose with a finger first, then her mouth, lightly tracing the her cupid’s bow, before running around and down her bottom lip.

“Can I touch you?” He whispered.

“You are.” She answered innocently.

“No, I mean - forget it.” He licked his lips and flopped onto the furs on his back with a sigh.

“Are you angry with me?” Antonia asked after a few moments.

“Just - just forget it.” He turned to his side his back to her, and fell into a sleep littered with nightmares about Beowulf killing everyone he cared about - his mother, Harald, and Antonia.

       In the thick of winter, snow covered every surface of Kattegat. There was not much else that could be done apart from stay in the house Bjorn had offered them. Halfdan made weapons whilst Antonia sewed.

“What are you making?” He asked, seeing delicate lace flowers with intricate beading details littered on the table amongst his arsenal of knives and axes.

“They are flowers.” She told him.

He rolled his eyes. “I can see that. What are you doing with them?”

She held up a blue night dress, “I’m going to sew the flowers on the straps, here, see?” She pointed to the thin straps, maybe a finger width wide. As Halfdan leant closer he studied the material between his fingers. The material of the dress was thin muslin, but soft and he imagined her wearing it in the Spring when the snow disappeared.

If Antonia wore only that to bed, it would cling to her curves. Her thick dresses hid her curves but living in close proximity he’d seen her naked after bathing several times. She had a tiny waist that he bet he could almost put his hands around, then her hips went wide which led to her firm ass. When she bent over to pick something up he often leant his head back to look at her bottom. He’d always been more drawn to a woman’s breasts before, but her backside aroused him.

And then he would feel sick. Whenever he’d been feeling aroused he’d feel sick straight after, memories of Beowulf pushing into him.

“Don’t you think it will be pretty?” She smiled at him.

“Do I look like I know what pretty is?”

Antonia picked up one of the flowers she’d made and put it on top of his head. He frowned.

“Now you do,” she chuckled.

She was mocking him. He grew quick to anger, throwing the stupid flower off his head and stormed out the house into the freezing air.

       Halfdan had gone to the Great Hall, sunk a few cups of mead to try and clear his head but all he thought of was Antonia and that dress with those stupid fucking flowers. He left to go back to her, but instead he came across a barn, full of only hay and goats huddled in a corner occasionally bleating their disgust at the cold temperature.

He’d not relieved himself in the weeks since England. Any sexual thoughts or activity had been far from his mind but now his balls needed emptying. His hand went into his trousers and he started to stroke himself, hard and purposeful to quickly get to his finish. He kept reminding himself that it was just him, it was only his hand and nobody else’s. He imagined Antonia in that dress and his strokes became softer and more controlled. As he felt his release approaching he leant his head back and his seed spewed forth onto his hand and the hay covered floor. Feeling the pressure relieved somewhat he revelled in the peace of the barn for a moment before approaching the goats in the corner, and wiped his hand on one of them.

It wasn’t the worst thing he’d done.

OH MY GOODNESS THIS WAS HARD TO WRITE!! The ‘aftermath’ is harder to write than the actual rape.

[fogmongers]

                                       a  l  l  i  s  o  n     c  l  o  v  e  r                                   S  A  N  D  R  A     C  A  R  R  O  L  L .                    unenrolled.                                                                     dorm couch surfer.                        psychedlics dealer.      tramp.      freelance sugar baby.      dropped angel.

grew up in the underbelly of chicago, raised by a well-meaning but fatally over-protective single mother, who tried to shield her daughter from the grit and grime that covered every square inch of their community.

as a child, allison clover was kept busy at all costs, distracted by a wallpapering of catholicism from the influence of her peers and the sordid history of her mother. she was brought up in the church; socializing primarily within the church’s community, playing on the church’s softball team, participating in the church’s charity events and helping to organize the church’s fundraisers.

she and her mother ran an online business selling homemade incense, candles, and teabags from herbs and spices grown right in their apartment. it was just enough to help keep the lights on when her mother’s job at the plant nursery couldn’t cut it. this is to say: a young, naive allison wouldn’t have much in realm of inheritance when she would need it.

shortly after ally’s 18th birthday, her mother was killed in an assault. 

gang initiation. body mutilated. her teenage daughter had to identify the corpse. 

the tragedy shattered allison’s eden--- woke her up to the nihilistic nature of the world, in which good people can die for no rhyme or reason. and it showed her the true nature of contemporary christians and their shortcomings in practicing what they preach. in the wake of ms. clover, the church community offered ally their prayers and platitudes, but no one in their lower class community had a dime to spare or room on their couches when allison needed a place to stay, every conservative bystander assuming someone else would step up to take care of her. 

emotionally distraught and disappointed in her paper thin support system, allison stopped sticking around after mass and isolated herself from the community, eventually opting not to attend altogether. 

the scraps of inheritance she had left after paying for a catholic funeral would not help her afford the rent. her underwhelming resume would not be enough to get her a job to support herself. too overcome with grief to manage working two jobs; with her mother deeply estranged from the rest of their family; with her long history of being isolated from her neighbors; she had nowhere to turn when she was evicted.

her naivete and lack of alternative options paved allison’s way to falling in with a bad crowd. her first night at a local shelter, she was recognized outside by a raggedy boy from her graduating class. immediately trusting, she opened up to him about her situation and vulnerability, and he was all too quick to offer her a place to stay until she got back on her feet. she never stopped to question his character or intentions. 

she was fast to fall in with the boy and his band of delinquents, which she would later realize to be a gang deeply involved in several webs of drug trafficking in the city. her sheltered upbringing left her unprepared to notice red flags, and her gullibility made it easy for the kids to take advantage of her on the grounds of offering her bedrooms to stay in and spotting her meals in her hard time. when offerings of basic human necessities turned into talking her into smoking with them and bringing her along to parties, it wasn’t hard for them to pressure her into using her inexperienced body to pay her respect to their hospitality.

catholic guilt went head-to-head with disillusioned catholic angst, both raging inside her head with feelings of physical violation she didn’t have the understanding to place. in the midst of the chaos, (and as a fuel to it,) she developed a taste for the escapism. preferred to live in the haze of inebriation and work out her conflicts of spirituality with mushrooms than face her situation or her grief. but she didn’t realize she was running up a tab with her friends.

from a peer’s perspective, she picked up on their culture fast. learned the slang and the technique. gave off the impression of someone who knew what she was getting into when they started sending her to drop off and pick up, and when she was smoking herself into debts she’d never be able to repay. 

after ignoring the scarier and grittier aspects of the new friends she’d made for a year, and then upsetting them when she started avoiding sex--- depriving her friends of their payment--- things came to a head after a traumatically bad trip on DMT, sending her into a serious crisis of faith and fear that her sins were becoming unforgivable, which prompted her to decide to branch out to people other than the dealers she was wasting her youth with.

when the ghouls started getting insulted by her pulling away, one of them let her know that she still owed them for all of the drugs and safety they’d given her, and when she stood her ground and put a lock on what they wanted from her, he told her she owed them at least $3,000 for their troubles before they would let her “broke, needy ass” scurry away.

in a panic for finding that kind of money in the near future and feeling a serious threat for her physical safety at the mercy of a gang of intimidating men, she opted instead to commit one last sin in the form of stealing a suitcase and backpack of drugs from the trap house and taking a bus as far out of town as she could go.

she started going by the new name SANDRA CARROLL and planned to keep moving and sell the stash of psychedelics to keep her afloat until she could start using her legal name again and get a law-abiding job, but by the time she started running out of cash for motels, she still wasn’t emotionally prepared to start dealing. she tried to go to bars to find slightly less dangerous people who would pick her up as a sugar baby and give her shelter until she was far enough and emotionally stable enough to take care of herself. the panic attacks and paranoia made it hard for her to nail a trustworthy hookup.

in a final wave of desperation, she contacted her childhood friend nate to find any kind of guidance or assistance in her situation, and he arranged for her to make a break for rainier, knowing that genie would give her a place to lay low. 

genie has effective guardianship over her now, which is to say: she insists that sandy spends nights in her dorm rather than bouncing around campus, splits meals with her, loans her clothes and generally looks out for her while she’s trying to get back on her feet. but it’s genie, so she’s not exactly the most attentive mom friend, and has a tendency to enable sandy’s worst vices because she’s no hypocrite. can and will, however, absolutely wreck anyone who tries to manipulate sandy, if genie can just focus enough to notice it happening.

the generally low threat level and high libido of clients on a college campus makes it significantly easier to sandra to deal and hustle free food and beds to sleep in, which is good, because her general fear of being a burden and newfound fear of becoming indebted to people makes her try to spread herself out over the campus, rather than rely solely on genie. but the decadent nature of the students and assurances of safety on campus lead to her feeling too undistracted, too alone in her thoughts when she has time to breathe. and it’s hard for her to stay sober when everyone else is partying. at the rate she’s going, she may not have enough stock to sell to keep food in her stomach before the coast is clear and she feels she’s safe enough to be allison clover again.

(( TL;DR: sheltered church girl is ill-prepared and too naive to survive on her own when her mother dies unexpectedly; falls in with a bad crowd and loses control of her expenses and herself; steals an enormous stash of psychedelic drugs and flees chicago, going by a false name and dealing to stay just barely afloat. currently dorm surfing through mt. rainier university. ))

PERSONALITY: 

pleasant. demure. distracted. passive. calm. trustworthy, but unreliable.

very somber, but doesn’t have an easily detectable sadness. very dreamy, but not too in-your-face with her eccentricity; more introverted about it or even a little insecure. the kind of person who you might see sway-dancing like a twin peaks character, or sticking her hand out of a moving car’s window and surfing it in the breeze, or praying only when she thinks no one’s looking, and if you look close you might catch a tear streaming down her face. zones in and out in the middle of conversation and feels really guilty about it. still has a trace of purity to her that most people don’t pick up on until they outright find out about her upbringing. comes off as the chill wallflower of a druggie clique; not unfriendly but not the person to start the conversation; doesn’t instigate the orgy but she’s definitely down and certainly keeps up. might seem aloof or quiet because she’s never sure if she belongs there and doesn’t want to show it and get rejected. innocent but not inexperienced. very good at maintaining lucidity just long enough to escape any witnesses when she's having a bad trip. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS: 

hookups and clients (she deals assorted psychedelics; 90% dmt, acid, ecstasy, mushrooms). a very disinterested person for her to have a crush on even though they wouldn’t notice if she died. a kinder person with a crush on her that she’ll never pick up on. friends who smoke with her without expecting her to throw in. friends who invite her to hang out overnight without expecting anything. someone who will sleep with her for opportunistic reasons (consensual but still taking advantage of her credulity or rumors that she’ll sleep with anyone after they let her dorm with them for a little bit) or who sleeps with her without knowing that she’s effectively prostituting herself for shelter. someone who friends her twee or annoying. someone who’s suspicious of her and where she came from.

big plot: someone, either from or hired by the gang of dealers, who’s been sent to track her down and collect her debt  👀 :grim_reaper_emoji:

[badgalyadi]

random survery. / 474 + 560.

How’s your mood? Do you feel any different than you did earlier today? def better than it was earlier

What do you look for in a friend? Is it important that your friends have similar hobbies and interests to you? Or is it more important that you just enjoy their company? i think as long as i enjoy your company, we’re good.

Has anyone ever spread a malicious rumour about you? people have been doing this since middle school lmaooo

Are you comfortable with talking to the opposite sex, about sex? yeah, sex isn’t that deep of a topic lol.

What are your views on people who claim to have had spiritual or paranormal experiences? damn that’s crazy.

Have you ever had a friend that you were really close with, but you ended up drifting apart? Why do you think this happened? lol, life.

How much of an issue would you say peer pressure is for you? FAKE. no way ur gonna get me to do something i don’t wanna do, idc.

Would you be able to give up eating your favourite food(s), if your doctor said you had to? nope.

If you’re single, do you ever feel jealous of people who are in relationships? And if you’re in a relationship, do you ever feel jealous of people who are single? no.

What’s in your pencil case? pens, unsharpened pencils, mechanical pencils, erasers both big & small, a sharpener, a stapler, extra staples, and highlighters.

Is there anything in your room that you wouldn’t want your parents to find? maybe so.

Are you wearing anything fragranced atm? i’m wearing the fragrance i brought back from cuba. it was only $3 and it smells so good, deadass makes me it :(

Was your last illness something contagious? i had a cold, so i guess yeah.

When did you last update your Facebook profile photo? it’s been a year.

Have you ever felt confused about your sexuality? in middle school. terrible time to wanna figure that shit out but 💀

If you found out your friend was sleeping around, what would you say to him/her? nothing b/c i don’t care lmao do you.

How should someone of the opposite sex go about starting a conversation with you? it’s not that deep, just say hi.

Tell me about someone you dislike. Why do you dislike them? Do they know that you dislike them? obsessive and shady asf, can’t mind her business.

Have you ever felt so strongly for someone that you believed them to be totally irreplaceable, as if you could never be happy with anyone else? yeah, and i don’t think i’ll ever feel that way about somebody again b/c i learned u really can live without anybody whether u like it or not.

Out of all the horror films you’ve ever seen, which one scared you the most? uhhhhhh sinister or insidious idk

Who was the last person to tell you that they were disappointed in you? not airing out names. she didn’t directly say it, anyway.

If you’re an only child, do you ever wish you had some siblings? And if you have siblings, would you like any more? i always wish i had other siblings lmao i see people w theirs and be feeling sad as hell :(

Are you friends with the last person you texted? yeah.

Your last Facebook friend request - was it from someone of the opposite sex? no.

What does the eleventh text message in your inbox say? issa meme.

Has anyone ever called you easy? yeah LOL

Would you consider having a child with the last person you kissed? whommm... can’t be having a baby rn when i’m still the baby myself

Is there a cover version of any song that you like more than the original? soooo many.

Have you ever liked someone who was a player? yea lol

Do you own anything that has sequins on it? also yes.

Have you ever done anything to embarrass your parents? not on purpose but they def do shit that embarrasses me too so we’re even 

Do you own a teddy bear? yethhhh

What’s the worst relationship advice anyone has ever given you? all of it. nobody ever knows what they’re talking about LMAO.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with yourself as a person? a 6.5 lmao.

Would you ever kiss someone with facial hair? yeah. Have you ever drooled in public? nah. Do you agree that facebook is taking over the entire teenage population? ???????????? what 80 year old wrote this Have you ever met a mainstream band? no. Have you ever yelled at an electronic as if it could hear you? i get mad sometimes & be fighting random shit LMAOOOO so yes Have you ever been bitten by a dog? yeah LMAO

Would you ever shave your head? if i didn’t have to? no. Have you ever spelt your name in Alphabet Soup? no. What do you think would happen if the Earth suddenly stopped spinning? my stupid ass has no idea & i’m not boutta guess so i can be made fun of What did you want to be when you were little? probably some generic shit like a princess idk Have you ever drawn a picture with sidewalk chalk? yeah. What is the worst possible way to die? slow, painfully. Have you ever burnt yourself with a lighter? sooooooooooooooo many times. Would you ever meet someone you met online? mayhaps. What’s your favorite online game? cricket noises.. What do you think of gay/bisexual people? A1. Have you ever kissed the TV? no. Have you ever thrown your cell phone across the room? yeah, then regretted it LMAOOOOO Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? not often but once in hs i got sockedddddddd in the face during volleyball & thought it was on purpose so i hit her w the ball even harder and ended up getting suspended cuz i wasn’t discreet about it lmao Will you be single over winter? [brain muscles overworking themselves] what season is this Where do you wanna live when you grow up? out of miami mayhaps. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? pajama pants. Would you get married if you could right now? nope. Do you consider yourself spoiled? maybe so. Do you get annoyed when you see someone you don’t like? i usually just focus on other shit. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? surprised i didn’t. Is there anyone you want to see right now? santi?! What were you doing 12 a.m. last night? fixing my living room. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? :] Are you a mean person? no, i really try not to be. What woke you up today? yesterday*, alarm clock. Have you kissed anyone whose name started with a T? probably lmaoo

Did you date anyone last summer? nah, i was minding my business, enjoying my life. Where will you be twelve hours from now? class. Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? yeth Have you ever slept on a couch with that person? also yeth Have you written a letter to a soldier? no. Ever been in a perfect relationship? lmao “perfect” How do you feel about the person who texted you last? loveeee me some them. What are you looking forward to? cricket noises.. Do you think you are an argumentative person? hhhh.. maybe..  How did you feel when you woke up today? tireddddddd asf. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? mhmmm What time did you go to sleep last night? i always go to bed late asf. i’m boutta go to bed now just to be up in two hours. What color are your eyes? brown. The last song you listened to? a veces, it’s literally on repeat. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? if i don’t get up, yeah. Do you believe change is always good? sometimes.

How long was your longest relationship in highschool? 3 years. Do you know who Philip DeFranco is? nah. What’s the most illegal thing you’ve EVER done? 💀 the OP responded to this with weed, i’m really screaming rn.. Where did/do you want to get married? all these questions about marriage, whew. What’s the highest level of education you’ve reached? i’m in college rn Is your last name extremely common, like Gonzalez? no, but i don’t think it’s rare either. Ever notice how most flags are red white and blue? no. Have you ever had a crush on a family member? what the fuck How old is your YOUNGEST friend? bitch.. i don’t know How old is your OLDEST friend? i don’t. know. How long should people be together before they propose? these questions are starting to make me uncomfortable lmaoo Have you had your first touch screen phone yet? that’s how you know this survey is old. Don’t you hate when parents divorce but then still argue regularly? can’t relate, hope i never do. Would you ever join the military? sike. If you could have any dog, what dog would you have? a shihpoo. Would you ever kill a bunny and make soup out of it? what the fuck x2 Do any of your friends own a ferret? no. Do you believe that Christians are better than non-Christians? no? Do boys really rock pink more than girls do? ????????????????????? Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yerrr What’s your view on the Islam culture? hard to have an opinion on something you know nothing about. Do you know what, “C'est la vie” means? i know i’ve seen this but idk what it means Do balloons make you have a better birthday? nah; they’re loud asf too when they pop, so. Krispy kreme donuts aren’t as good as Dunkin Donuts, are they? DELETE THIS. What is your favorite song from, “Aventura?” THE SPANISH GROUP?! WAYMENT...... i don’t even know. prob something generic. yesterday i was listening to por un segundo lmao :( If you could legally assassinate any celebrity, who would it be? bro.. Do you use Twitter or Formspring? twitter. rip formspring babie love you. Why did you last cry? a few hours ago, real crybaby bad bitch hours. If you had to lose 5 lbs, how would you do it? lower my calorie intake. Is there anyone who seems to think that you are a pillow? ???????? Tell me about your BEST New Year’s Eve ever. wasn’t this one. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? alejandra, idk why that name sticks with me. i just feel like i look like someone named alee & idk how that makes sense but it does to me LMAO. Lunapic editor is amazing, no? whommmm... How do YOU write, “Okay?” depends on my mood, who i’m talking to, what we’re talking about.

How old was the last person who kissed you? 28. Do you have any plans for the day after tomorrow? not that i know of. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah. What time did you wake up today? 7. Name something you can’t wait to do: idk. If you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or a pothead? pothead. What has pissed you off today, if anything at all? cricket noises. Can you honestly say that at this point and time you’re happy with the way life is going? no lmao. Can you easily tell if someone’s fake? mmmmmmmmmmm.. depends. Is there someone you don’t ever want to be out your life? yeah. Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yeah. Looking back in time did you ever waste your time on a certain boy or girl? feel like most ppl have been thru this. Has anyone ever sang to you? yeah bfsjklj Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? LMAO yeah. Coffee or alcohol? oof.. both. together. Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with C or J? yeth and yeth. Do you ever cry during movies? hell yeah w my crybaby ass Do you have any piercings? ears. Have you ever found someone you really like? my BOO. 🗣 Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today? yeah LMAO Do you remember who you liked three months ago? was that november... idk how to do math LMAO pretty sure i liked ques by then.

[lindsglenne]

Hello! Pop culture and entertainment rule my life. I decided that it would be fun to do a little recap of all the media I consume each month:

December

End of the year, otherwise known as: TIME TO CRAM! Cramming in books for my reading challenge, cramming in movies before the Golden Globes.

BOOKS!

Always and Forever Lara Jean by Jenny Han♥♥♥

Finishing up the series from my reread during November. Loved it just like the rest of the series. I think Han finished up Lara Jean’s story in such a beautiful and satisfying way. ♥♥♥♥♥

  Snow in Love by Kasie West, Melissa de la Cruz, Aimee Friedman, and Nic Stone

I talked about my feelings about this book in a post about winter anthologies earlier in December, but basically I loved the stories from Kasie West and Nic Stone and didn’t care for the other two. From what I’ve read from other people, the feelings were mutual. ♥♥♥

Dumplin by Julie Murphy

I had just watched the movie and I needed much more Bo lovin’! I reread it one morning when I hadn’t slept all night. ♥♥♥♥

Pride by Ibi Zoboi 

This is a Pride & Prejudice retelling taking place in Brooklyn centered on Afro-Latina Zuri and her big family as two new boys move in across the street. I felt it was a little rushed towards the end, especially with the situation with Layla and Warren. I also think towards the end the back in forth between Zuri and Darius got a little too repetitive and they seemed to be constantly contradicting themselves. But I really love Ibi Zoboi’s writing and this gave me another reason to actually read Pride & Prejudice. ♥♥♥♥

Goodbye Perfect by Sara Barnard

My third Sara Barnard book of the year and I think my favorite? She has become an auto-buy author for me, even though I have to get her books from Book Depository. This story really looks at how far you would go for a friendship and when you realize how much you do know about someone who you think is your best friend.

  To Make Monsters Out of Girls by Amanda Lovelace

It wasn’t until Amanda Lovelace that I really started to appreciate poetry. Her voice draws me in and she has such a way with words that really paints a picture. Beautiful. ♥♥♥♥♥

    Some Girls Are by Courtney Summers

After reading Courtney Summer’s book this year, Sadie, I had to read her earlier work. This book deals with sexual assault and bullying that sometimes felt a little unbelievable. The things that were being done to the main character Regina were unbearable and like no adult was around to notice anything? No parent or teacher sees damaged property or literal fights? Some of the relationships also seemed a little to over exaggerated and unbelievable.You can really tell how much Summers’s writing has evolved and improved over the years. ♥♥

Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson

Beautiful book. The prose was so lyrical it could even be considered on very long poem. The storyline was fragmented, jumping around from past to present, from descriptions and memories to facts. However, all of that just clicked. It all worked so well, I felt like I was in her head. And a person’s mind is far from linear. I read this because I needed something short to quickly finish my GR reading goal but I got so much more out of it. ♥♥♥♥♥

    TV!

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

I fucking love this show. Rachel Brosnahan is an absolute joy. I think taking the show to the Catskills for a few episodes was a great change of pace and it brought us Zachary Levi as this kind of surly curmudgeon who is fascinated with Midge. I really did love them together. And the dynamic between Suzy and Midge is just perfect and we really saw so much of it during their disastrous tour. Ugh and then we have Lenny Bruce! I love the friendship he has with Midge. They could have easily tried to get them together but their friendship is really special.

MOVIES!

Dumplin‘

I did a whole post about my feelings on this movie but as a recap: loved it!

Crazy Rich Asians 

This was a welcomed rewatch and now I want to own it on DVD.

Spotlight

This was another rewatch, my parents started watching it after dinner one night and I was reminded how incredible this movie is and how great the cast work together. There was a reason this won the Best Picture Oscar.

Blackkklansman

I can’t believe this is a true story. A black man and his white partner go undercover in the Ku Klux Klan. John David Washington (Denzel Washington’s son) and Adam Driver were spectacular. Some parts were really funny and other parts where just unbelievable. It’s crazy that people truly had—still have— so much hatred in the hearts that they would treat people so horribly just because of the color of their skin or for being a different religion.

Mary Poppins Returns

One of my most anticipated movies of the year! It made me so happy, from beginning to end. When I heard Emily Blunt was going to be Mary Poppins I knew it was going to be in the right hands. There was still so much magic and wonder from the first movie that really shines through. And LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA! My baby boy! I loved his crush on Jane Banks and his amazement of everything Mary did. He was perfect, the whole movie was perfect.

Bohemian Rhapsody 

I don’t get it. People are obsessed with this movie and I just don’t get it. There were parts that were so unbelievably cringy and cliche that I started shifting in my seat. Such obvious *winking* at the audience. It’s just an incorrect telling of the history of a band set to a good soundtrack. Despite all this, even I can’t deny how great Rami Malek looked like Freddie Mercury. Too bad the writing was such trash.

Vice

The more I separate myself from this movie, the more I dislike it. The acting was great, I mean Christian Bale was incredible as Dick Chaney, as much as I hate to admit it, but there was just something about it that bothered me. I just have a hard time putting it into words.

The Favourite

Yorgos Lanthimos, you complete weirdo! Now that this movie is getting so much attention, I hope this gets people to see the director’s other work, like The Lobster. Everyone was bat-shit crazy and I never knew what was going to happen next with Queen Anne and her two ladies. This movie is definitely not for everyone.

A Simple Favor

Finally! I had been waiting to see this for such a long time and it was serious worth the wait. Blake Lively is a bad ass. She takes power suits to a whole other level. This story about two mothers is another one where I had no idea where it was going to go next. It started to get a little convoluted towards the end where they kind of needed to pick a direction and stick to it but all the performances were excellent.

Monthly Entertainment Recap: December Hello! Pop culture and entertainment rule my life. I decided that it would be fun to do a little recap of all the media I consume each month:

[breeeliss]

Hey there! Sorry to bother you but I saw your post about Spanish names and I saw you mentioning something about getting names from both parents? I guess I know less about how naming works than I thought, can you explain what you mean by that?

I’m admittedly procrastinating job apps super hard right now so this definitely got longer than it was supposed to. This is all based off memory and general knowledge, so it’s always best to Google or ask other Latinx people if you’re wondering what someone’s name means or if you’re creating a name for an original character (especially that last one because, lord, writers need to get better about learning how Spanish names work). 

First Names

Middle Names

Surnames/Last Names

Naming Children 

What’s the deal with de, de la, and y?

How long is too long?

So, as you know, Spain colonized the fuck out of the Americas and brought their culture with them. As a result, many Latin American countries preserved the naming conventions that were used in Spain and, to this day, it’s very common to see Latinos (i.e. people from Latin America, not necessarily from Spain) with long Spanish names. The convention itself isn’t too complicated, but it’s helpful to know how it works if you’re going to be coming up with names for any Latino characters you’re writing/conceiving. 

First Names

You usually have one or two (sometimes three) of these. So your name might just be Juan. But some people like to give their children several first Christian names so that they are protected by the Saints. So your name could also be Juan Diego Luis, named for St. Juan Diego. Keep in mind Diego and Luis aren’t considered middle names in this example. These are all part of a person’s first/given name. 

Now what Juan Diego Luis would be called day-to-day will depend on him. Sometimes people just go by the first name (Juan). Sometimes they’ll cut out the Saint name and go by their non-Christian first name (Luis). Usually when you have a family full of people with the same Saint name, you’ll do the latter. A common thing I see with women in Latino families is that many of them will all have the Saint name Maria (e.g. Maria Mercedes, Maria Fernanda, etc.) These ladies will typically go by their non-Christian first name during the day to day (e.g. Maria Mercedes will probably go by Mercedes and Maria Fernanda will probably go by Fernanda). 

Middle Names

This one’s easy – middle names aren’t a thing in Spanish naming conventions. It’s an entirely western concept. That being said, if you’re a Latino living in the US who’s been assimilated in American culture, it’s common that your parents would give you a middle name. I, for example, have a middle name. But remember that, traditionally, they aren’t given. 

Surnames/Last Names

This is where it gets fun. Traditionally, you’ll get two surnames, or apellidos. If you’re gonna be super traditional about it, the paternal surname is meant to go first followed by the maternal surname, but lately people have been very free about putting whichever name first that they want, whether it be the maternal name or the paternal name. For the sake of the following examples, let’s assume that the first surname is the paternal one. So if Juan Diego Luis’s full name is Juan Diego Luis Diaz Rodriguez, Diaz would be his father’s surname and Rodriguez would be his mother’s surname. 

Another quick note on surnames is that women don’t take on their husband’s names when they get married. So let’s say Juan Diego Luis Diaz Rodriguez gets married to Isabela Muratalla Mercedes. Isabela’s name would not change. She would still be known as Isabela Muratalla Mercedes after she gets married (Muratalla is her paternal surname, and Mercedes is her maternal surname). 

Now, Juan Diego Luis Diaz Rodriguez is a mouthful. This is probably what his name would look like on all official documents. But what about what about more informal situations like an attendance list at school? Again, this really depends on the person. As I said above, in regards to first names, it’s common that people either go by their non-Christian names or go by the first part of their given name. In regards to last names, it’s common that people keep both surnames or just stick to one (either the maternal or the paternal). You can also choose to hyphenate and create a compound surname (which I’ll get to in a second). 

So Juan Diego Luis Diaz Rodriguez has a few options in terms of what his everyday name could be. He could keep it like this. He could go by Juan Diaz Rodriguez. Luis Diaz Rodriguez. Luis Diaz. Juan Diaz. All depends on personal preference.

Naming Children 

BUT WAIT, you ask. If each of your parents have two surnames, which of their surnames do you inherit when you’re born? The answer is usually the paternal names (again, obvious exceptions, but go with me for the sake of the example). So let’s say Juan Diego Luis and Isabela decided to have a kid names Maritza. Maritza would take her father’s paternal name and her mother’s paternal name and be called Maritza Diaz Muratalla. 

Father: Juan Diego Luis Diaz RodriguezMother: Isabela Muratalla Mercedes Child: Maritza Diaz Muratalla 

Even though I mentioned before that it doesn’t matter whether the maternal or paternal surname comes first, siblings usually retain whatever order the parents decide upon. So all of Maritza’s siblings would be called Diaz Muratalla and not Muratalla Diaz. 

Now, here’s where it gets a touch complicated…let’s say for example that Juan Diego Luis Diaz Rodriguez is either really proud of his mother’s family name and doesn’t want to lose it in the next generation, or he wants to distinguish himself from the thousands of Diaz’s in the world. Juan Diego Luis may choose to hyphenate his name into a compound surname and become Juan Diego Luis Diaz-Rodriguez. In this case, Martiza’s name would be Maritza Diaz-Rodrigues Muratalla. 

And, to get even more crazy, let’s say Maritza’s mother had the same philosophy and hyphenated her name into Muratalla-Mercedes. Then in that scenario, Martiza’s gonna have a hell of a birth certificate because her full name would be Maritza Diaz-Rodriguez Muratalla-Mercedes. 

What’s the deal with de, de la, and y?

So, when you see de or de la in someone’s name, it usually means that one of their surnames is the name of a thing or a place. So de Guardiola for example literally just means “from Guardiola.” de la Peña means “from the Rock.” Usually in those situations they reflect the geographical location of that individual or (most commonly) the geographical location of their ancestors. 

If you’re looking at anyone born before the 60s, sometimes you’ll see names like Pedro Garcia Carrión y Maes. The y was basically how people would separate the paternal and maternal surname. This got really useful when you had compound surnames and you needed to tell where the second surname started. Nowadays, you usually just group together the compound surnames with a dash in order to help the differentiation. So, going back to Maritza, before the 60s, her name might have been written Maritza Diaz Rodriguez y Muratalla Mercedes. But today, she’d write it Maritza Diaz-Rodriguez Muratalla-Mercedes. 

How long is too long?

Essentially, how long a name is depends on how traditional a family is. Oftentimes the reasons Latinos have really long names is because a) parents like to give their kids a lot of Christian names for protection and b) a parent really wants to conserve the last names of their family and make sure they carry on into the next generation. Long, traditional names are a lot more common for those who are native to Latin American countries. Once you start looking at the names of Latinos who were born in the US or have lived in the US for a few generations, you’re more likely to see names that are a lot shorter since they’re assimilated in American culture. You’ll sometimes see them without a maternal name and you’ll sometimes see them with a middle name. There are obvious exceptions to this, but for the most part, a 3rd generation Mexican kid who’s lived in Chicago his whole life is probably not gonna have a name that’s 7 names long, especially when you consider how much of a bitch that is to navigate when you’re dealing with official US records. 

Don’t feel like someone has to have a long ass name to seem more Latino. Especially when you’re creating OC’s, it’s often better to consider their culture, where they grew up, how they grew up, how traditional their parents are, etc. when conceiving their name. Unless there’s a really good reason for their name to be that traditional, simpler is often better. 

That’s basically all I can think of for the moment. Again, if you have any questions, it’s always best to Google or ask someone who’s Latinx for advice on naming. But hope this was helpful!

[therealdragonnerdagain]

I thought I would explain the reason why I have spent the last few years obsessively ranting about the racism and sexism in Bioware's games. Might prove interesting for the anti-pc fanboy fucks and bitchy Bioware fans who stalk my blog.

Because game developing is a business, most developers, rather than try something new or try to be inclusive, would rather stick to the tried and true formula of Straight White Morally Grey Male Hero who is out to avenge his dead family/ dead wife/ someone's attempted murder on him. Same old pandering to the same old audience.

Bioware was the first game developer to be openly inclusive of minorities. Not only that, but they proved once and for all that minorities really were in the audience and that it was possible to include us and still make a profit.

Once Bioware offered up this evidence, other game developers tentatively fell in line, while at the same time remaining careful to kiss Straight White Male Ass so they wouldn't anger their precious male fans.

I remember the first time I played Origins as the female city elf Kallian. It was amazing to participate in a story with actual content that was FOR ME. Not the straight dude they just assumed was in the audience.  

After fifteen odd years of playing video games that ignored me, suddenly, I was being acknowledged.

It was amazing.

And it's one reason why Dragon Age Origins will always have a special place in my geeky heart.

So to eventually come to the conclusion that the developers at Bioware are just as sexist and racist as every other developer . . . it was pretty crushing.

David Gaider is racist. Yes, he is. The only reason Bioware is inclusive to queer people is because of David Gaider. But the racism is still painfully evident in their games, and the way they treat their female fans and female characters is nothing short of disgusting. (Patrick Weekes' shitty "joke" for Solas fans in Trespasser was the last straw for me.)

I don't care how many people are pissed off by my saying this. I don't care that Gaider is gay -- that doesn't mean he can not possibly be a person who sees other races as inferior. In fact, racism among white gay men is a prevalent problem within the gay community.

Dorian from Dragon Age Inquisition is pretty much David Gaider's self-insert.

Dorian is an innocent bigot.

Yes, he is.

Just because Dorian had elven lovers doesn't make him any less racist. You understand that it's possible to have sex with someone while at the same time not seeing them as an equal, right?

Dorian sees the elves as inferiors. And not out of any hatred or malice, but simply because he's been taught to think that way. He even admits to the Inquisitor that he never bothered to give a shit about racism until he left Tevinter and suddenly had the epiphany that "Slavery bad."

Dorian remains an innocent bigot, a racist who is racist because he doesn't know any better, for the duration of Inquisition. He has a little speech at the Well about cultural appropriation, but the reality is, he still has little empathy toward the elves and their plight.

Dorian is a sheltered child who didn't even notice how fucked up the elves had it until he was forced to leave home. He even assures you that slavery is better than the way Fereldan elves are treated, instead of coming to the realization that both situations are pretty oppressive. The city elves are wage slaves, which are basically slaves without the chains. They are expected to work for next to nothing, and when they wind up stealing to feed their families, they are condemned -- it's slavery, just not chattel slavery.  

Even by Trespasser, Dorian *still* only gives a shit about Tevinter. He never talks about ending the slave trade -- and I know he doesn't because I had a character romance him.

Solas despises Dorian because he's an ignorant bigot who doesn't give a shit about anyone except humans (ironic, I know, coming from someone who doesn't give a shit about anyone but ancient elves).

Solas has several banters where he calls Dorian out on his bigotry, asking him why he doesn't seem to care about freeing the elves. Dorian gets nervous and says something about how it's impossible for him to do that.

Dorian doesn't get it.

The point is not that Dorian isn't able to end slavery. It's that he doesn't even care enough to try.

Solas continues to coldly, tersely force Dorian to realize his own bigotry, each banter more angry than the last. Unfortunately, none of his points ever get through Dorian's brick wall.

Dorian can not be argued with or reasoned with. Just as all racists can not be argued with or reasoned with. I imagine a lot of angry people will respond to this or else complain about it in tumblr groups with their friends, while entirely missing the point . . . which is kinda my point: these people will likely be ignorant racists too.

People who are racist do not live in the same reality as everyone else. And Solas -- who is racist himself and who is just a self-insert of Patrick Weekes and his White Guilt moaning -- can not teach Dorian that he is racist when he himself isn't living in reality (literally if he was actually sleeping during the whole of Inquisition and only just rejoined his body at the end, as I theorized).

In the same way that Dorian is vaguely aware of his own ignorance, David Gaider is vaguely aware of his own ignorance (or else he couldn't have written such a character) and yet he makes no attempt to change.

I remember a couple years ago, this fan tried to talk to David Gaider on twitter about his shitty bigotry. The fan was pretty polite, but Gaider completely shut them down. It's what he always does. He is notorious for not being able to take criticism about any of the games he’s worked on and has no problem insulting fans who try to have a conversation with him. It’s partly the reason why he is so unpopular with many fans.

And just like his creator, Dorian can not be reasoned with. You can not convince Dorian that slavery and "endless cycles of poverty" are both things that should end. Dorian will continue to validate slavery to your face, then he will tell you that you can't *possibly* form an opinion about slavery since you've never been a slave! The Inquisitor is set up to be shot down by him, and he stands there, arms folded, triumphant in having proved his ignorance valid.

The racism in Dragon Age hurt me so much for the reason I stated above: Dragon Age Origins was the first game I played where I felt included. It hurt to realize how bigoted the overall narrative actually was and it hurt to have white fans (more ignorant racists) *mocking* me for being hurt by racism.

But white people always mock people of color for being hurt by racism. What the fuck else is new?

Some times I wonder if Gaider and Weekes realize how hurtful they've been and how they've lost several fans because of Dragon Age -- No, I'm not the only one who sees the racism in the games. I'm just the only one who talks about it all the time.

And I feel this way because Dragon Age saved my life. I was going through a tough time when I found it. So to finally see something I loved so much for what it truly is. . . . it's just awful.

And I know there's no reasoning with any of the developers, so I don't bother addressing them. (I haven't used twitter in several years now, so I wouldn't do that anyway.)

Because much like Patrick Weekes, Gaider will carry on under the belief that there is nothing white people can do to end institutional racism, when in fact there is. Bioware made a great first attempt at not being assholes by including queer people and depicting them as human beings. All they have to do now is show women and people of color the same consideration.

All straight cis gendered white people have to do is treat other people like PEOPLE.

That includes not objectifying female characters in video games. (Miranda's Mass Effect ass shots and unncessesary camel toe come to mind.)

That includes not mocking your female fans for loving the character you created. (Solas, Cullen, and Thane fans were either disregarded completely or treated like shit by the developers.)

That includes not presenting every woman of color like a stereotype Jezebel. (Long-time followers know who I mean here.)

That includes not trashing every religion that's not Christian. (Paganism is not demon worship. Come off it.)

And that includes not depicting indigenous people as inferior savages too “proud” to convert to your “superior” culture.