#you can guess all those pregnancy fics got into my head
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merry-andrews · 10 months ago
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I'm watching The Boys! :)
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bunnys-kisses · 2 months ago
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hi bunny!! please may i order swiss roll with a side of tonic water and mocha coffee served by fernando? and please make it spicy!! 🤍
bakery menu
orders are still open! hit me up! i've been writing a lot more and i love creating these little pieces for you! thank you to all who have submitted, i am working tirelessly to get through all of them! so thank you! from this lovely anon, thank you! i love a good fernando alonso fic in my inbox, fans of his always have the most interesting orders, haha! especially with the swiss roll prompt! wow!
swiss roll ("everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you.") + tonic water (age gap) + mocha coffee (breeding kink) served by fernando alonso (formula one)!!
cw: smut/pwp, breeding kink, age gap (20s/40s), sugar daddy-adjacent, mentions of children & pregnancy, alonso likes having power over you, slight baby trapping, sub/dom
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when your university friends told you getting involved a man almost double your age was a bad idea, you simply scoffed it off. in a bit of fairness you had little dollar signs in your eyes when fernando first started to spoil you. his praise was a fountain that kept you full.
but everything came with a price tag, pequeña paloma and after three years of messing around, fernando expected a return on investment.
"you know, you're getting up their in age, alonso." he heard over dinner. it made the man laugh against his wine glass with his other hand on your lower back. your shifted a little in your seat and kept your focus on the conversation.
the same member of the team added, "it's about time you had kids, no? you can't keep racing forever. if you start now you can have the kid in racing before you know it."
you looked away briefly and tried not to blush too hard. you had been out of university for a month for summer vacation and now they were talking about children? but your fernando just laughed and said, "well, i guess we aren't getting younger. right, dove?"
he pulled you a little closer to him and rubbed your shoulder, he looked at you. those dark eyes pulled you in as always. it made you rub your thighs together with a throb that he had trained you to feel whenever he was somewhat domineering.
you nodded and giggled a little, "well you aren't." then giggled when your much older boyfriend pulled you close. he kissed you on the head and you felt his warmth. he then turned back to the team member and flashed him a grin.
it was a return on investment. fernando alonso gets involved with a pretty young thing from a pretty little private university, spoils her and gives her the attention her daddy won't. then have her get all soft with his child and be a good mother to them.
and that was what happened when you got back to your room for the night. his broad hands on your shoulders as he bent you over to touch your toes. just as he trained you, stretched you out nice a good, in more ways than one. he admired you for a moment with his stiff cock nudging against your backside.
"he was right, pequeña paloma. i'm not getting any younger. about time i have a child. and who else would i pick, but you. you're almost done school and now my live-in girlfriend. i feel like a baby would make it a home." he leaned over you and placed his large hands on your middle, "it's only fair you give me what i want. everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. i own those, so i guess that means i own you."
you nodded, "yes." and you felt something to twist in your gut before fernando made you stand up right once more. his hands on your breasts, groping them between his strong hands. you whimpered a little bit from the pain.
"that's what i like to hear." he said before he pulled back a little to undo the zipper of your dress. he didn't know why he was taking it off so delicately, you weren't going to be able to wear this form fitting number in a few months.
but don't worry, he'll get you something to show off that growing middle. once he got you in your bra and panties, you turned to face him. you looked at him and started to undo the buttons of his shirt. his hands were on your hips are you did your duty to get him undressed.
the liked the sight of you, submissive. so cute.
once you undressed him, you led him to the bed. you got up on it and crossed one leg over the other. fernando soon crowded your space and got you on the bed. laid out to perfection for him.
you said to him, "we don't have to make a baby now."
he looked at you and responded, "we have to. anything could happen tomorrow. i need to make sure that your sweet cunt is taken care of. bred to perfection." he said softly, his words left you feeling tingly all over.
you looked good under him as his eyes raked your naked body. pretty little thing. fernando's little investment. have a good place to keep his cum for years to come, but right now he wanted you to end up with a baby at your hip.
"you know you can't deny me, my love." he said softly, "you know you can't. you let me do whatever i want to you. just like your apartment, your bed, your services. i own it all, and you have to start repaying." he licked his lips and got between your legs.
you squirmed a little and held onto the soft white covers under you. fernando's cock twitched at full attention and he shifted his hips a little before he grabbed you by the legs and got them over his shoulders.
he pressed into you further, putting your knees to your chest and fully trapping you underneath. he said in a low tone, "you know how to be good for me. right? you know how to stay under me and let the man who owns you do what he pleases." he got his cock into with ease and watched your back arch.
such a beautiful sight, there was a large period of time where they weren't women like you. so willing to please a man like fernando, do anything to keep your man happy. and he in turn made sure you didn't want for anything. if him bruising your cervix means your silly little tution was covered then so be it. you just hoped that you didn't get pregnant before you finished your program.
it felt weird to have your knees so close to you while he rocked against you. his hands on either side of you as he dragged his cock in and out of you. at one point he only had the tip in before he quickly pushed it back in to the base. you felt the force of that in your chest as his cock explored your insides. you knew his cock was a cervix kisser and it was getting very familiar with yours.
a man almost double your age hitting the back of your pussy with everything he had. he was a man on a mission to make sure your cute little cunt stayed around his cock. barely touched a man before he met you, now he was promising filthy things to the woman who was going to give him the family he wanted. you'd fill out so nicely with pregnancy, a little thickness to your hips would make his cock leaky every time he saw you. he knew that you'd be kept busy with a little alonso baby toddling after you.
he eventually eventually got your ankles over his shoulders, helplessly rested against the strength of them. he groped at your breasts as he continued to fuck you. he watched your cute curves bounce with each thrust.
you whimpered, "please, frenando." your back arched a little from the intensity of his movements. how hard he gripped onto you as the bullies his cock into your sweet pussy. your heart hammered in your chest as he continued to move against you. your much older boyfriend was breeding you, he was fucking you nice and deep to make sure it all took.
if he was going to get you pregnant then he was going to go all out for it. hips tilted so gravity could work its magic and flood your pretty, younger pussy full of come. promise of a future together. don't worry, fernando would be an attentive father and he wouldn't stick you with two or more children. well, until he retires at least. then you're going back to his country with a big piece of land. and you'll be the perfect alonso wife. plus the kids to keep you busy, there won't be any time
so maybe the degree was a bad investment, you won't be able to use it for raising the little brats that you were going to have. but, he'd happily pay for a master's program if it meant that your cunt would be stained with a sheen of his cum across it. sticky dna up against the furthest parts of you thanks to your lover.
he continued to rut against you. his mouth was full of filthy promises as he moved up against you. your heart was hammering in your chest as you tried reach your climax. happily taking what fernando gave. you tried to shift a little but he pressed into your further. he kept you trapped under him as he felt his cock with in your sweet cunt. he knew he was could he could feel the heighten feeling around him. the thump of his heart as he had every intention to breed your sweet little sex.
"please. honey"
"i know, i've got you. you just let yourself finish. i'm right here. just like when i first made you come. you love this feling don't you. you want me all the time. that's why you're letting me finish inside of you. you want me."
you took him by the face and pulled him closer once more. you came around his cock with a noise leaving your chest. you felt hot all over, like a splash of pleasure through your system. your lover took you by the face and moved yoou into a searing kiss as he own pace started to stagger.
"honey."
"shh. i know, i know. i'm close." he really started to work your body was you laid there in a blessed out state. you looked beautiful even now, unaware of how quick fernando was fucking you. the bed squeaked under you two as the headboard rocked against the tacky wallpapered wall. a few more strokes and he finished inside of you with his hands on your hips. he had left pretty marks on your breasts and hips, a sign of his. as if the future child you'd carry wouldn't prove it.
you whimpered a little bit but fernando silenced you with a kiss. no need to be a whiny girl, you were supposed to behave for him. be on your plush behind and let him thrust up into you. watch those breasts bounce. but he didn't slow down once he came. instead he got you on your stomach and pressed his cock into you even further. the new angle had your toes curled.
his words were in you ears once more, it muddled your thoughts. all you could think about was your lover as you arched your back.
fernando alonso wasn't getting younger. so he was going to spend all his time making sure that you became the mother he knew you could be. <3
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xxsugarbonesxx · 5 months ago
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retired!Miguel rambling
🩷 I love domestic Miguel he is my everything
i guess this is head canons??? idk i just wrote what i thought felt right lol
mostly fluff, some smut, no gender is specified for reader,
though it doesn't go into depth, pregnancy and pregnancy sex is mentioned so read at your own risk 🩷
MINORS DO NAWT INTERACT!!!!
Miguel is naturally warm, his skin is so soft and warm. He smells like firewood and citrus, trust. In the winter you’ll lounge over his body like a seal on a rock in the sun. In the summer, you drag the kiddie pool from the back and fill it up. Dipping your feet in the cold water while you two watch the kiddos and dogs play in the sprinklers. 
He makes chunky babies. If you have the ability to get pregnant, most people will assume you’re having twins ‘cause how big your tummy is once you’re with child. But you just got one chubby little babe in there, and then they’re born with a whole head of their papa’s coffee colored curls. 
Piggy backing off the previous: once he gets out of his office in the Spider Society, leaving the Spider Man role behind, he’ll gain some weight. He’ll get that daddy pooch/dad bod going down, his pubes thick and curly. A whole forest is growing under his pudgy tummy. He doesn’t think shaving is that important once he’s settled down and has his kids but is willing to shave if that’s what you prefer. 
He did do the thing where he shaved his face completely to show the baby when they were around five months old. Popping out from behind the corner to show the babe his clean shaven face with you filming it. It all ended with all three of you crying and snuggling with the baby once they started sobbing and screeching since all they’re tiny life they’ve seen their daddy with a neat, salt and peppery beard.
And if you CAN’T get pregnant, (whether you’re amab or infertile) bro will be going at it with you like an ANIMAL. He’s got fat breeder balls, full of hot, sticky cum to pump into your needy hole. Once he’s cum, he’ll give one last thrust, nice and deep into your gummy walls. Plugging his semen deep inside you, keeping it there. After care in this instance is nonexistent, since he falls asleep on top of you, still deep in your guts.
He just likes touching you, if you’re alone in the car, waiting at the red light. His palm travels up and down your thigh absentmindedly as his eyes bore into the stop light. (He wears those glasses that turn into sunglasses when he goes outside, argue with the wall) Maybe he’ll get brave enough or the light still hasn’t changed for awhile, his hand will dip under your shirt, his thumb pad playing with your soft nipple until it hardens.
As long as you’re alone, he’ll have his hands on you. Six times out of ten it leads to actual sex.
I don’t think of him as a god in bed really, he’s just a guy. He’s gonna do what he thinks you and him are gonna like (what you want will always be top priority for him I know it) Acting on lizard brain, he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do without much thought beforehand. He couldn’t edge you to save his life, if you’re whining or crying, he’s just gonna let you cum, he just can’t say no to you. :(
Foreplay is always important to him though, mainly just because I want him to rub my back, I think he’d go for the whole massage thing. Spending a good amount of time rubbing and massaging your shoulders, back and cunny/cock. His hand is so big, he’d be able to grip the space between your thighs with one hand no issue. Rubbing back and forth until you cum from his hands alone. He likes to have you cum at least once before he’s actually inside you. He’s a gentleman after all. :))) His favorite positions are full nelson, side fucking, doggy style (I will die on the hill he’s more of an ass then a titties man I don’t care!!!) and face sitting.
If you can get pregnant, pregnant sex is even more tender and loving. Usually taking brakes to pepper your body and face with little kisses. 
@cupcakeinat0r wrote a tasty yummy fic about growing old with Miguel, and I’ve had that stuck in my brain since then. Around his forties, Miguel’s really mellowed out. He’s not as a perfectionist or cold and irritable as he used to be. Having kids has helped him calm more, having a more relaxed approach to problems now. Then his quick to anger, slow to calm back down personality when he was acting as spider man. Getting married and having kids has helped him realize that he doesn’t have to be the tough guy in the room. Though his kids are just as stubborn as him now. 
I love the domestic potential of Retired!Miguel, you two having a song, that’s your song as a couple. Cooking dinner together for your little babies. Having a show you two watch an episode or two of after putting kids to bed. Sitting on the couch, your legs over his lap, drinking wine with a kids movie on as your makeshift date night. 🩷
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locomoqo · 26 days ago
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Omg i loved your latest fic!!! What if they actually got their lovers pregnant? How would gun+goo react😫😫??
Also Keep up the good work!✨💘
be my baby
ft. gun park & goo kim x f!reader [separate]
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details: a part 2 to this fic! this is pure fluff, no funny business
A/N: all the fluff content lately bc my mind is kinda too fried to write smut atm😵‍💫 (BUT i am in the middle of writing those reqs so stay tuned) reblogs are appreciated ^^ enjoy!!
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ᯓ★—GUN
Gun’s noticed how off you've been acting ever since he got here. It’s like you’re walking on eggshells around him, which makes him wonder if something’s bothering you—or if maybe he's the problem. Deciding to address it, he approaches you in the kitchen where you're carefully arranging fruit in a bowl. It’s a simple task, but you’re putting an unusual amount of focus into it.
“You’ve been quiet since I got here,” he finally speaks up, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. “Somethin' upset you?” His brow arches in question, but you remain silent, pressing your lips into a thin line.
In truth, ever since Gun arrived, you've been caught in a swirl of excitement and nerves. This morning, you realized your period was late, so you took a pregnancy test. When it came out positive, you were thrilled. But as the day went on, your excitement began to mix with anxiety. What if Gun didn’t feel the same way? What if all those whispered promises during intimate moments were just words spoken in the heat of passion?
You snap back to reality, still holding an apple. After staring at it for a moment, you sigh and set it down, turning to face him. “Can… can I tell you something?” you ask hesitantly, meeting his eyes. His eyebrows lower as he studies you, giving a brief nod. You take a deep breath, closing your eyes before finally saying, 
“I’m… pregnant.”
Gun’s expression remains unreadable, though you can feel the shift in the air. The silence stretches out, long enough to make you second-guess everything—especially what might be going through his head.
“You’re… pregnant,” he repeats slowly, his gaze shifting to your stomach. You nod, confirming it. Hesitantly, he reaches out, his hand finding your waist and pulling you closer, his thumb brushing lightly over your belly. His touch is soft, as if he’s trying to process the news through feeling alone.
“You okay?” you whisper, your voice as soft as a breeze. He doesn’t respond immediately, and when he does, his voice is quieter, more vulnerable. “Yeah,” he nods, still processing. His eyes return to your belly, a look crossing his face that you’ve never seen before—a mixture of awe, fear, excitement, and uncertainty all at once.
A small, amused smile tugs at his lips. “Can’t believe I’m going to be a father,” he huffs softly, still stroking your belly through your shirt. The tension in your shoulders melts away, relief flooding you at his calm reaction. He’s not opposed to the news—far from it.
You smile at him, glancing down at your stomach. “I can’t believe it either,” you say. Gun steals a glance at you. You’re saying something, but the content of your words is lost on him, he’s too focused on the happiness glowing on your face.
He’s always been protective of you, but now that you're carrying his child, that protectiveness feels stronger. It’s not suffocating, but it’s there. After all, he has two things to lose now.
While Gun has never been the most verbally expressive, he shows his love and support through his actions. You’ll notice it in the small things—how he places a steadying hand on the small of your back when you walk, or how he’s always ready to help you stand when you’ve been sitting too long. He’ll quietly ensure you’re taken care of, like refilling your prenatal vitamins without you asking or indulging your late-night cravings with meals he cooks himself, no questions asked.
Sometimes, you’ll wake in the middle of the night to find his hand resting protectively on your belly, or catch him staring at different spots in the house, mumbling to himself about baby-proofing everything.
“You’ll make a good father,” you tell him one night, your voice filled with quiet certainty.
He freezes for a moment, clearly taken off guard by the weight of your words. He swallows, averting his gaze as if needing a second to collect himself. Then, he reaches for your hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “We’ll see,” he murmurs, his voice softer than usual, with just the faintest hint of uncertainty slipping through. 
But his hand stays in yours, and in that simple gesture, you know he’s in this with you.
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ᯓ★—GOO
It’s a quiet evening, and Goo is flipping through the channels with ease, though his mind is filled with concern. You've been acting a bit different since he got home. He catches the way you open your mouth as if to say something, but then quickly close it, shaking your head. It leaves him wondering what you’ve been wanting to tell him.
The moment you finally call his name, his head turns toward you instantly, all of his attention now focused on you.
“Yeah?” he asks, eyes locked on yours. You're fiddling with the fabric of your shirt, clearly nervous about whatever it is you’re about to say.
“I’m... I’m pregnant.”
There’s a brief pause. For a split second, his face is unreadable. Then, slowly, that familiar grin spreads across his lips, but this time, it’s different. Softer. He blinks a few times, processing your words before saying, “Wait, what? You mean... we’re having a baby?”
When you nod with a small, uncertain smile, he’s up off the couch in an instant, pulling you into his arms. “So that’s why you’ve been acting all weird. You were nervous about telling me this?” He grins, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “Should I start growing some facial hair? You know, to get that dad look going?” he jokes, and your laughter, as always, is music to his ears.
“I can’t even imagine you with facial hair,” you giggle, cupping his cheek. “You’d look ridiculous.”
But as the seconds pass, you notice a subtle shift in his expression. The playful spark in his eyes dims just a bit, replaced by something more serious. He gazes at you, and for the first time since you broke the news, you see the weight of it settle in.
“I’m going to be a father…” he murmurs, his hand resting gently on your stomach. “Are you... okay? I mean, with everything? How are you feeling?” he asks, his voice softer than usual, filled with genuine care.
Goo isn’t the type to be serious often, but you know he’ll be by your side, teasing you about your cravings or cracking jokes about your baby becoming a mini genius like him. It’s his way of keeping things light, making sure you don’t get too overwhelmed by everything. Despite his jokes, you can sense his protectiveness, he just hides it behind his humor. He's always checking in with you, offering to get you things, giving you random foot rubs, and—on more than one occasion—trying to cook for you!
One night, when the baby starts kicking for the first time, Goo’s reaction is surprisingly tender. His hand is on your belly immediately, his expression softening in a way you rarely see. “Whoa… that’s... so weird,” he murmurs, which earns him a playful smack on the arm from you. His eyes widen as he feels the tiny flutter of movement beneath his palm. But you catch the glint of something else in his gaze—fear. Just a hint of it, quickly masked by his usual easygoing smile. “Think we’ve got a future fighter on our hands.” He jokes.
Despite the joke, you know what’s really going on. He’s feeling the weight of it all, even if he hides it behind his playful banter. You run a hand through his hair, offering him a reassuring smile. “Everything’s going to be fine,” you whisper, and for a moment, he just looks at you, all traces of humor gone. He nods, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead.
That's all it takes for him to quietly promise himself that he’ll do everything to ensure you and the baby have the most comfortable life possible.
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revehae · 9 months ago
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indulgence
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pairing ↠ killer!johnny × (f) detective reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, graphic depictions of murder, graphic depictions of violence, noncon, mentions of pregnancy, johnny is 43
summary ↠ you're an accomplished detective in the detroit area and johnny suh is a prolific serial killer. when your department sends you on its behalf to pull back his layers, you attempt to convince johnny to recount his experiences and unravel the mystery once and for all.
wc ↠ 10.3k
a/n ↠ this is a repost. it is connected to do you like it, dr. lee? but can be read as a standalone story. this fic is somewhat darker than my usual fics and i encourage readers to proceed with caution and heed the warnings; you have been advised.
don’t like it, don’t read.
the deepest prick of unease settled through you and you shuddered from its nipping cold. 
killers were your forte, but none like this. never in your life had you ever met a killer who’d been at their craft for over a decade. they typically got sloppy after the first half, which insinuated that this johnny suh guy, whoever he was, was far from an amateur. 
“gate twelve,” came the guard’s voice, speaking into a transmitter. he was to escort you to johnny’s holding room.
the gate lifted. behind it, you clocked the riveting face of detroit’s worst nightmare, hands cuffed at his back as he sat facing you. there was a sort of twisted grin on his face, not as if he was excited to have a visitor, but excited his visitor had been you.
“good luck with this guy. officers tried to get him to budge. he didn’t take the fifth, but the bastard’s damn good at talking in circles,” the guard whispered in your ear.
“duly noted,” you replied quietly, stepping further and taking the seat across from johnny. 
the guard left you to your devices, shutting the door behind you and leaving through the passage that led to the gate. complete and total privacy was the only way johnny agreed to talk. your department initially refused, insisting there should at least be one or two other officers monitoring the interview, but you let him have his way.
if you wanted to get this man to talk, that was your only option.
“hello, johnny. i’m detective ___ from the detroit police department,” you introduced yourself coolly, cloaking your nerves with confidence. never would you show a guy like this any fear.
johnny hadn’t stopped grinning since he made eye contact with you. you’d seen pictures at most and he was devilishly handsome, even more so in person, but it didn’t compensate for his unsettling aura. “that’s a beautiful name, detective.”
“flattery will get you nowhere, suh.”
“it’s gotten me here,” johnny quipped. 
“yes, it has. and i suppose you already know why i’m here.”
“yes, i do,” johnny said, pleasant thus far. “you want me to tell you about the murders.”
you bobbed your head. “i do. you see, you’re an enigma to me, johnny. you turn yourself in, get fingerprinted, and all of the sudden our database’s going off because your prints are connected to three other crimes over the past twenty-five years.”
johnny feigned surprise. “wow, it’s been that long?”
“it has,” you replied, in spite of knowing he couldn’t have not been aware. “martina mortes in 1998, sabrina lee in 2005, christine dalton in 2013, and the college professor this year.”
johnny leaned back in his chair. “i’m familiar with those names.”
“you should be. you sexually assaulted and murdered these women,” you spat, none too tender. “except for martina mortes. you only strangled her. do you want to tell me why that it is?”
“what’s the weather like today? i haven’t been outside, but summer has been kind to detroit.”
ignoring him, you persisted, “let me guess. she was your first victim and that kill, unlike the others, was spontaneous. her being dead defeated the purpose of the sex act, didn’t it?”
“well, do you like your partners warm or cold, detective?” johnny asked, deflecting. 
you were heeding the guard’s warning. it seemed this guy liked to answer questions with questions, your least favorite type of offender. “that’s why when you subsequently added the sex act to part of your crimes, you kept your victims much longer, because you like to see them suffer. until you got bored. then, you killed them and dumped their bodies like trash.”
as if he was disinterested, johnny glanced to the side and yawned. 
the audacity on this guy was astounding. “am i boring you, suh?”
johnny replied with total indifference, “if you think you know everything, then why are we here?”
you answered without hesitation, “because i think you’ve wanted to tell someone about what you’ve done for a long time, johnny. but you realize that you’re not like other people. i’m giving you the opportunity to get it all off of your chest.”
johnny cocked his head to the side, as if he was contemplating your offer. his face was borderline inscrutable. it was difficult, if not impossible, to decipher what he was thinking.
you restrained from heaving a breath. there was a crushing weight on your shoulders, the expectation to get this guy to crack. if you couldn’t do it, nobody would - ever. “how many victims do you have?”
“four.” johnny’s answer was quick, automatic. like he didn’t even have to think about it for a second.
folding your arms on the table, you shook your head. “no, i just don’t think that’s true. see, we’re pretty sure martina mortes, your high school girlfriend, was your first victim, and the college professor was your last.”
johnny cocked a brow. “but?”
“but there’s no way someone like you could’ve resisted your urges between four kills over the past two decades and then some.”
there was no point in denying the four victims, because you already had substantial proof. nor did johnny deny that martina was his first victim, because given the decomposition of the bodies, she died long before the other three. admitting that she wasn’t would be admitting that there were unfound others.
and johnny had no intention of implicating himself more than he already had. the only reason he turned himself in was because he didn’t want to prolong the inevitable, for whatever reason. he pulled his lips into a mock frown. “your assumptions about my self-restraint are hurtful,” he replied.
whatever, moron, you thought irritability. “i think they’re more than just assumptions.”
johnny teased, “then, let me know when you know something.”
you narrowed your eyes, groaning, “oh, come on. i know and you know that you can’t ignore your desires for a month, let alone over ten years. you have a compulsion. killing makes you feel powerful, it makes you feel in control, and you can’t live without the high it gives you.”
“you make me sound like an addict,” johnny remarked, pretending to be offended.
“it wouldn’t be so far from the truth,” you said, glancing over the file at your end of the table. “the first two kills were seven years apart. the second two kills were ten. full offense, i don’t see how you could control yourself for so long.”
“you can believe what you want, detective. i didn’t kill anyone else,” johnny lied, not that you ever needed to know. 
of course, he couldn’t control himself. the second he took someone’s life, it became a part of him, and his purpose in this world became clear to him. for the first time in his life, he felt as if he had something that made living worthwhile.
you surrendered. it was obvious johnny was intelligent and he wouldn’t be easily tricked into confessing. “okay, fine. let’s talk about the victims we know of. tell me about martina mortes.”
“what is there to tell?” johnny asked, brow cocked. “we met in junior high. then, in eleventh grade, we got together.”
“tell me about why you killed her,” you insisted, painfully curious. “it happened in chicago, before you moved to detroit over the summer. you killed her in the heat of the moment.”
johnny gave the impression that he would take a minute to crack, so you were surprised when he said in response to your prodding, “we got into a wrangle, if you will.”
that much was obvious. “what kind of wrangle?”
the garage was hot and the air was stuffy, making it difficult to breathe. to say nothing of the frustration scorching johnny’s skin, his face tensed into an irritated glower.
there was something about women he never liked, the seemingly inherent ability to blow almost anything out of proportion, as exhibited now as his girlfriend screamed in his face. his stepmother was the same, never not coming up with a reason to fuss at him. he was always walking on eggshells around that woman. 
martina was bristling. “you always fucking do this, johnny.”
johnny heaved a breath, sighing, “what - what do i always do, martina?”
“you trivialize everything i go through. you make me feel like i’m overreacting when i’m not, you just refuse to hold yourself accountable,” she spat. 
“martina, we’re about to go to college, for fuck’s sake! you can’t focus on your academics and a goddamn child. i don’t get why you won’t just have an abortion and call it a day,” johnny roared, heating up a thousand degrees.
“god, do you listen to a word that comes out of my mouth? my parents will kill me, johnny. if not for being pregnant at eighteen, then for killing it.”
johnny sighed. “i don’t see the part where that’s my problem.”
tears blurred martina’s eyes. she came up to him, shattered by his careless and embraced by isolation, and bellowed, “you want to know what your problem is? your problem is that you’re an incompetent bastard with no regard for other people!”
johnny’s body was engulfed in flames but his shoulders were cold, and he lost control of his emotions, grabbing martina by the throat. he effortlessly lifted her with a single hand and smashed her against the closest wall none too gently, watching her eyes wince closed.
“you wanna say that again?” johnny asked, nothing short of belligerent.
ache spread out through the back of martina’s head, a ceaseless throbbing worse than any hungover. her feet dangled off of the ground, waving and kicking, fingers weakly prying at the ones pressing down on her windpipe. until she was completely still, legs dropping, hands going limp at her sides.
“i didn’t even realize how long i spent standing there, until she felt… empty, and i knew she was gone,” johnny confessed, but his tone was far from sympathetic. “she scratched me. you know, when she was trying to pry my hands off. i didn’t know until hours later.”
you shook your head, disdainful. “you killed your pregnant girlfriend?”
johnny groaned, “oh, please. i was eighteen. i would’ve been a terrible father.”
“i would be slightly more inclined to accept that as an excuse if it weren’t for the fact that you had a son by sabrina lee only two years later,” you said viciously.
“a lot can change in two years.”
“i’m sure it did.” your eyes flickered over the file again, but nothing would allow you to familiarize yourself with this killer more than talking to him yourself. “for example, you realized just how much you liked killing.”
if johnny could’ve raised his hands, he would’ve. “your words, not mine.”
you leaned over the table, unrelenting. “tell me about it, johnny. how did it feel when you strangled her with your bare hands? what was it like?”
johnny chuckled. “is that what you wanna hear?”
you nodded. 
johnny leaned in too, getting closer to you, and whispered in your ear, “i squeezed every last breath out of her, one by one, until there was nothing left for her brain and she went slack in my arms. and when i was done, i felt elated. i felt free. it woke up this dormant sensation inside of me that i swore to never repress again, because it made me feel alive.”
your lungs started to feel shallower, like no breath could reach the bottom, and you sensed your heart come to a halt for a minute. johnny pulled back, grinning from ear to ear, as if he was proud of himself. 
“detective, did i startle you?” johnny asked, tilting his head ever so slightly. 
your face hardened. “why would you ever think that?”
“you’re not as good at feigning indifference as you think you are, detective. full offense,” he mimicked, mocking.
he’s just a fragile man that kills women to make him feel better about himself, because he needs to be in control. don’t give him power over you. that’s what he wants, you said to yourself, shutting any and all other thoughts. “so, you killed martina, nobody could connect her disappearance to you, and by the time they discovered her body you were already studying for college two states over.”
johnny ignored you, at least for a little. he was taking a liking to making you feel uneasy around him. “has anyone ever told you how gorgeous you are?” he asked out of nowhere.
“you aren’t my type. i don’t fool around with serial killers,” you replied sharply.
johnny didn’t seem to be offended, but you didn’t expect him to. “really now? it feels like we’re on a date right now. after all, we are getting to know each other.”
you asked, “have you always had such a distorted perception of normal human interaction?”
johnny shot with no hesitation, “have you always had such a sharp mouth?”
you pulled yourself together. the only way you would get anywhere with this guy was by establishing that you were the one in control. “okay, enough. this is my interview, suh. you answer my questions, not vice versa.”
“that’s not any fair,” johnny told you, that unnerving smile still on his lips. “i don’t have to tell you anything, you know. and without me, you lose the only key to those answers you want so badly.”
“you shutting up doesn’t make much of a difference, considering you’re already dodging my questions,” you replied.
“let’s play a game,” johnny suggested.
you weren’t in the mood for any games, but that was johnny’s method of operation. “i don’t like games.”
“you’ll like this one,” johnny insisted, laughing. “twenty questions.”
your shoulders dropped. “am i supposed to be guessing something?”
johnny shook his head, something sinister about him. “no, it’s much easier than that. we take turns asking each other questions until i’ve answered ten and you’ve answered ten.”
you stared into his eyes, willing yourself not to break contact. he was just as relentless, silently cocking a brow at you, as if to challenge. and you weren’t an idiot. that’s exactly what it was. you asserted, “i go first, you can only ask me yes or no questions, and if i don’t like your final answer i get to press you for another.”
johnny slightly lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. “yes, ma’am.”
“okay,” you started. “what made you move from illinois to michigan?”
“i was kicked out of the house. didn’t have anywhere else to go. but i had a buddy here whose family took me in,” johnny answered frankly.
you pondered those words, wondering if his aforementioned buddy knew about his secret indulgences. or if he asked why johnny’s parents kicked him out of their home. it would’ve been the question scratching at your mind, itching to be answered.
johnny’s lips parted. “what kind of perfume are you wearing - honey lavender?”
“yes,” you said, focusing your attention on anything but the possibilities of how he could’ve known that. he’d been with so many people to the point where he just knew. “why did you get kicked out of the house?”
“my dad always thought there was something different about me, ever since i was a child. he was a nasty piece of work. he found my journal, read a couple of things i wrote, and decided there was no hope for me in the house,” johnny ranted.
that piqued your curiosity. “what did you write about?”
“wait your turn,” johnny sang. “your hair smells just as lovely as the rest of you. do you match scents all the time?”
you were mildly uncomfortable, but given the type of dude he was, you stifled it. “yes. you don’t have to be such a pervert all the time, you know?”
again, johnny rolled his shoulders, chirping, “you call it perverse. i call it amusing.”
you almost cursed under your breath when you realize you’d asked him a question. “wait, i didn’t mean to ask…”
johnny cut you off, “that’s too bad. it’s my turn again. do you like necklaces?”
“not ones made out of fingers,” you retorted. it was meant to be a joke to hide how unsettled you were, hyper aware of the necklace dangling around your neck. you could feel invisible pressure on your throat.
johnny snickered. “i’ll admit that was funny.”
you pressed, “what did you write about in the journal?”
“my dreams,” he admitted vaguely, though in reality, he wrote endlessly about his corrupt fantasies of abusing women. some pages were about his stepsister, and there was a few about what he’d done to martina, though not explicitly. “you have the most beautiful eyes. they’re the perfect shade.”
you were certain he had told many other girls those same words and were not flattered in the slightest. the glare you were giving him was ferocious. “i’m not sure if there’s a question in there somewhere.”
“do you think your eyes are pretty?”
“i haven’t really thought about it,” you told him, quick to change the topic. you’d encountered your fair share of stranglers and it was no secret why he was so interested in your eyes. “was your relationship with your father estranged?”
“nothing was enough for that man. i had the top grades in my class and the highest gpa, and he took my door off its hinges and seized my privacy,” johnny told you, words harsh, but his tone plain. “he was obsessed with being the perfect family, something that was ruined the second my mother destroyed everything, and rather than embrace me, he turned me away.”
your eyes flickered. there was something about his language that stood out to you. courtesy of the research you’d done on him beforehand, you were aware that his father was divorced then remarried his stepmother, who already had a daughter johnny’s age. but rather than describe his parent’s separation as a divorce, he said his mother destroyed everything.
what a hostile view towards women, you mused, repulsed. but given the nature of his crimes, it adds up. and it might’ve been the origin of his hatred.
his family was twisted. you couldn’t fathom how his father, aware of just how unwell his son was, clocked his abusive fantasies towards women, and instead of getting him the help he needed, he left him to his own devices to slaughter them as he pleased.
you blinked when johnny leaned, craning his face towards yours, and snapped out of your reverie when you jolted back. 
“there you are,” johnny said, chuckling at your surprise. it was all over your face. “i’ve been talking to myself all this time. you must’ve been thinking about me.”
“no, not really. i was wondering if i forgot to feed my dog last night.” it was an obvious lie, but you would never encourage this guy to feel more important than he was.
amusement gleamed in johnny’s eyes. he was having a wonderful time, truth be told. had you not been so pretty, he would’ve clamped up like a crab, but you were so pleasing to the eye that he didn’t mind confessing a couple of truths. “a dog. that’s interesting. i myself have always wanted a pet - a snake. the constricting kind are my favorite.”
“you don’t say,” you droned, voice dripping with crisp irony.
your sarcasm was chucklesome to johnny, but his words were the truth. he remembered, all those years ago, asking his father for a pet snake. and when he refused, johnny, in turn, killed the family dog. he added, “they don’t just suffocate their prey. they coil around them, almost like a straitjacket, and cut off its blood supply.”
you replied, “yeah, but animals hunt to survive. you hunted because you had nothing better to do with your life.”
“in my humble opinion, we’re all animals of nature, and creatures of sin,” johnny told you in a whisper, as if he were telling you a secret of some kind. “anyways, it’s my turn now.”
you resisted a disgruntled exhale. 
like his questions couldn’t get any more absurd and strangely perverse, johnny asked, “when you shower, what do you use - a washcloth or a loofah?”
“that’s not a yes or no question,” you replied with total disinterest. 
“it’s hardly any less simple.”
“a washcloth,” you replied, though only because you needed to ask him your questions and resisting an answer would only waste valuable time. “why did you wait so long before killing sabrina lee?”
johnny smiled at the mention of his son’s mother, but the grin on his lips was distinguishable from the others. like he didn’t even realize he was smiling. “she was special. i loved her.”
“no, you didn’t. you don’t hurt people that you love.”
“maybe that’s true for you, but you’ve called me everything but a child of god and it’s clear you don’t think you and i are alike,” johnny said. “i don’t miss her, though, because she left a better print on this world. a world that was never made for her in the first place.”
a better print on this world. your brows furrowed, until you remembered the child they shared together. “you know what i think? i think whatever you felt for your son’s mother was the closest thing to love you’ll ever be able to pull from your ugly black heart.”
“you’re very strongly opinionated,” johnny responded, ever so unbothered. maybe some decades ago, it would’ve irked him to the point of breaking, but he was much more in charge of his impulses now.
you lifted your shoulders, gazing at him with the most discerning of eyes. all he could think about was how nice it would’ve been to seize you by the throat and watch the light dull from them.
to your surprise, johnny’s next question was not as a deviant as you assumed it would be, asking, “what made you decide you wanted to become a detective?”
“because of the people i used to know that aren’t around to tell you why,” you answered distantly, before pressing, “how was sabrina different, johnny?”
johnny perched over the table again, an uncomfortable distance close to you, made worse by his whispers. “because unlike the others, she didn’t beg me to stop - she begged me to finish. for it to be over. and when i wouldn’t, she begged me to kill her.”
the mental picture you got was cruel. your heart hurt for these women that had no idea what hit them until it was too late. 
“i put these women out of their misery,” johnny continued. 
you spat in a heartbeat, “the misery that you forced them to endure.”
johnny winced. “no, these women were miserable long before they met me. they were just ignorant of it. impressionability is a weakness.”
“either you have one hell of a god complex or you are working overtime to justify your sick actions.”
johnny merely shrugged, vicious and ominous and everything in between. there was something so dark about his spirit. you could feel it just from sitting within a couple of feet of him. 
johnny’s memories were triggered. he was reminiscing about the times he shared with his son’s mother, how perfect she was. there were no other women like her. she was his favorite victim, someone he took his sweet time with, while the others were disposed of in a few months time. 
midnight loomed, riding on the tail of dusk. johnny was counting down the minutes until the clock struck twelve, a self-imposed rule to gauge his willpower. the second the hour came, he bolted from the crackling sound of the cabin’s fireplace to a bedroom, anticipation like a stimulant.
the wooden floorboards creaked the closer johnny crept to the door. save for himself and the woman chained to the bedpost, the cabin was void of life. it belonged to the parents of a close friend who ensured it was vacant whenever johnny needed a place to indulge his twisted fantasies.
which was basically all of the time.
he meandered inside with a crisp bottle of water in hand, droplets condensing at its sides. sabrina laid right where he left her, just as broken, dreading her next breath. tape adhered to the flesh over her mouth, muffling her whimpers. there was nobody around for miles, the cabin was totally isolated, but it was a safety measure.
the chains were used likewise. when johnny was not there, the restraints kept her prisoner. johnny, reckless as he could be back then, was many things and stupid was not one of them. the chains stretched long enough to reach the bathroom but no further and he had his loyal friend help him test it after each victim.
“can you go further?” johnny called out.
jaehyun’s lower limbs were shackled, ceasing his footsteps just shy of the hallway as he came to a total standstill. “not if i want my legs to follow me,” he’d retorted.
johnny had snickered. “good.”
had johnny been there, though, he would take the chains off. none of this was fair, even johnny didn’t believe that, but not giving them the chance to fight was too unfair. he needed not to chain them when he had the gift of his big, burly arms.
johnny waltzed over with a lighthearted and carefree gait, as if this was just another wednesday afternoon to him. and in some sick, despicable way, that wasn’t too far from the truth. he ripped the tape from sabrina’s lips, watching her face tense with pain.
“johnny,” sabrina rasped, voice croaking. he could tell from her flushed face and misty eyes that she’d been crying. “i’m thirsty.”
johnny cocked a brow, glancing to his hand. he had an irritating knack for playing dumb. it used to be endearing. now, with everything she knew to be true torn from her bare hands, sabrina didn’t know what to think. “what - you want this?”
sabrina nodded.
“yeah?” he popped off the top, throwing back a few gulps just before releasing a satisfied, “ah.”
sabrina’s lips trembled. “please.”
had she been anybody else, johnny probably would’ve dangled the water in her face just to snatch it away, but there was something about sabrina that made him gravitate towards her. in a rare moment of benevolence, johnny handed her the water, letting her drink.
she didn’t drink in short sips, but in giant gulps as if she’d known for some time that they’d be her last. when her thirst was satiated, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, handing the bottle back, and whispered, “thank you.”
johnny set the drink aside before returning to her, unshackling her limbs. sabrina’s breath quickened the moment the chains clacked harshly against the floor and nearly stilled when he brought his hand to her flushed face, tracing her chapped lips with a calloused thumb.
his thoughts rushed with unbridled exhilaration, ablaze with suspense, but he slowed for a moment to marvel at her loveliness. johnny’s hand touched her hair, touch tender in ways it would never be again, because he would never again know a woman as great as her.
he brought his lips to her ear, nibbling at the shell before asking, “do you know what i want you to do?”
sabrina bobbed her head, starting to halfheartedly peel off her clothes without needing to be told. with so many days held prisoner in this hell hole, it became routine. like she’d already resigned herself to her fate and knew johnny getting his way was inevitable. he always got what he wanted.
to be frank, it came out of nowhere. she never saw this twisted side of him coming. all she knew was that she became suspicious of his lack of family presence and it was too late when she saw him for the monster that he was, and then she woke here.
it had to have been months ago, although sabrina couldn’t have been sure how many. everyday started to bleed into the static hopelessness of another. sometimes johnny wouldn’t show for days, leaving her to live antsily, dreading his unavoidable return. other times, he would spend a day or two in the cabin, fucking her into kingdom come. 
as if she couldn’t be any more faultless. johnny smirked. “smart girl,” he purred. he would never deny her wit, given that she’d caught onto him, but her lack of strength was her only vice.
johnny restlessly tossed his own shirt over his naked shoulder and came to step out of his boxers. there was mischief on his plush lips. he knew something sabrina only knew from the unkind churn of her gut.
the end was more than near. it loomed over her, relentless and remorseless, and all she could like it to was dark and leaden clouds in a somber sky. even then, there was almost nothing she wouldn’t give to see the world again, but she’d long kissed that hope goodbye.
“down,” johnny told her, tone dark and stern.
she pliantly did as told, bare back meeting the mattress. johnny crept over her, hard cock twitching at the sight of her so meek. typically, he liked when they put up a fight, but sabrina knew better.
johnny could tell she was fighting back tears, willing herself not to cry with a stabilized breath, but her endeavors were in vain the second he started to force his way inside her. they escaped her eyes and dampened her cheeks, unable to overlook the agony of the stretch. 
“shh, baby,” johnny crooned in her ear, the weight of his body bearing down onto hers. “what’s the matter? you used to beg me to fuck you.”
sabrina shook her head, silently pleading for a mercy she knew deep down that johnny wasn’t capable of. “please make it quick.”
johnny’s tone was almost sweet. “but baby, you told me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, remember?” 
johnny knew that his words weren’t reassuring and he didn’t intend for them to be. there was a reason why he loved how she tried to hold herself together. he got to push her limits, find her breaking point. in the end, she would get her wish, and in a way, johnny thought that that was love.
her walls were just as tight and vice-like as they’d been all those times he’d taken her before. if johnny got close enough to her, let his hands wander and tease as they never not had done, sabrina would still involuntarily gush around his cock. like her body knew she was forever a slave to his touch. 
just looking at her face as she wept sent shock waves of pleasure rippling through his dick and chest. sabrina didn’t cry in noisy, gasping sobs. her tears dripped from her thick lashes quietly, mouth parting in the most silent of whimpers.
and she orgasmed the same way, johnny remembered. back when things were normal between them, when she begged for him to fuck her, as he called it, her release was marked by a volatile shudder, but a silent cry of ecstasy.
johnny pushed sabrina’s lips into an upward curling with his thumb and index finger. “smile for the camera, sabrina,” he whispered.
sabrina’s brows furrowed, painfully oblivious to the camera tracking her every emote. johnny couldn’t not document his deeds. there was something about being able to play them over, immersing himself back in that moment over and over, even when the life itself could not be so easily brought back.
but for johnny, they could be. when he rewatched these videos again and again, it was like he could feel their pulses thump in their neck, resuscitating.
johnny’s hands were everywhere, fingertips traipsing towards sabrina’s neck where marks lingered from all the times he’d strangled her, only to slacken his grip when she was just shy of passing out. the bruises were different colors, indicative of different healing stages. sabrina tensed, startled, and wondered when it would all be over.
“johnny.” sabrina was overcome with defeat. her voice cracked as she asked, “johnny, please just cum.”
johnny’s face tensed with pleasure. “fuck, babe, when you say it like that…”
he stood at the brink of climax, threatening to teeter over, and there was only one thing that could knock him over quicker than anything else. it wouldn’t be anything she said, anything she did, but only a weakness johnny had the power to wield against himself.
“you want me to finish?”
sabrina nodded. 
johnny chuckled darkly. “then, in that case, it’s time for you to get your wish, baby.”
he watched her shoulders slump, releasing all hope of ever knowing anything different again and accepting that this was where things ended. thinking about the feeling he remembered none too distantly, one that almost seemed to keep his blood pumping through him, in a way, johnny’s fingers itched.
johnny lifted his hands, bringing them to sabrina’s face, but before he could touch her, she exclaimed, “wait, johnny!”
his brow cocked. 
sabrina’s lips trembled. “can you tell me what today is? please?”
“wednesday,” johnny replied, holding his hands around her neck, but keeping his grip slack. for now.
“wednesday,” sabrina said, pulling her lips into the faintest of smiles as tears blurred her vision. “will you tell haechan that i hope he has an amazing thursday?”
“that can be arranged,” johnny said, grinning.
sabrina nodded, setting her mind at ease. she’d already made peace with this day some months ago. she never knew when it come, but she saw it as something bound to happen. “thank you,” she whispered. 
those were her last words. because when johnny tightened his grip at her throat, almost like tightening a noose, he couldn’t bring himself to stop in spite of the agonized gleam in her stare. and then her stare was empty, and johnny had already emptied his load inside of her.
to describe the sensation he got from killing in a way that captured its essence would be impossible. it was more than feeling the life leave her. it was more than watching her eyes become soulless. it was a release, a way of relinquishing all of the vacantness he harbored, and knowing that his heart was still there.
it would always return, sometimes as soon as the next day, but for a minute, johnny was whole and no drug could replicate that kind of contentedness.
johnny did tell haechan what sabrina said. he wasn’t all too sure why, maybe it was because she was his mother and haechan was her son that they’d created together, and johnny would never have it any other way. for her to be the one to give him a child, he couldn’t imagine any other woman in her place.
it was almost unfortunate that she had to go so soon. even johnny thought that her demise was premature. had she not grown so suspicious of him, johnny could imagine making her his wife, maybe even spending the rest of his life with her.
their marriage wouldn’t have been without his secret dark life, but sabrina wouldn’t’ve been a victim. alas, loose ends needed to be tied. johnny couldn’t trust that she would’ve kept quiet, and even then, she was in a much more fitting place for an angel like herself.
there was much of this memory that would be abridged. never would johnny reveal anything about the cabin or the dear friend that helped him commit his indulgences, or even the existence of the tapes. if they found those videos, that was proof of murder with a grand total of 106 women.
the air around you was heavy and the words you’d just been fed weren’t easily take in. “what you’ve just told me is really sad.”
but johnny didn’t look sad. whether or not he ever truly cared for sabrina would perpetually be a mystery. “maybe,” he started. “but tell me that you wouldn’t hurt the person you loved most if it was what was best for them.”
“i did. but what i had to do is different from what you were.”
johnny’s interest was piqued. “how come?”
“it was my responsibility to decide whether or not to take my sister off of the ventilator. there was no hope for her,” you confessed, though brushed over it quickly. “what happened to your ex-wife?”
“not that interesting of a story,” johnny said. “she wasn’t sabrina, i got tired of her, here we are.”
“and yet she wasn’t a one-off like martina mortes.”
“had she been a one-off, my body count would be one number higher. that was a favor,” johnny told you, grinning as if you actually had something to be grateful for.
you didn’t waste a second to accuse, “because you need to keep your victims to extract all the relief that you can from them, right?”
“i’m afraid it’s not your turn to ask questions,” johnny replied tauntingly. “what was your sister like - did she have long hair? what color were her eyes? how long were her lashes?”
sick son of a bitch, bellowed the voice in your head, though you willed yourself to remain composed. it was plain on his face that johnny didn’t want an answer - he wanted a reaction. and as furious as that made you, you couldn’t let him provoke you. “that’s none of your business,” you said, but there was a loophole. “but she was beloved.”
that qualified as an answer. johnny glanced at you in a way that made you feel see-through, as if he knew that you were threatening to come apart at the seams and didn’t buy your nonchalance for a minute. 
sated, he went on to feed you bullshit about his ex-wife’s death, though there were only four people who knew what truly happened to her and one of them was dead.
johnny remembered that day like it happened yesterday. it was a thursday evening when he’d come home from work. christine had picked haechan up from school hours ago and johnny wholly expected to come home to her in the kitchen.
it was dark outside. the moon was a mere sliver and the stars were duller than they typically were, almost like they had witnessed something that drained their spirits. johnny remembered struggling to identify his house key, trying each of them until the door clicked open.
“i’m home,” johnny’s voice thundered as he turned to lock the door. 
there were quick footsteps from upstairs. haechan, johnny thought, more than familiarized with the sound. but there was none of christine’s usual voice.
“dad, i’m hungry,” came haechan’s voice from the stairs, coming down them one by one.
that in itself should’ve been suspicious, but instead, all johnny could think about was how sabrina would’ve already fed her son. “hasn’t christine made dinner by now?” johnny asked, irritated.
haechan shook his head, though johnny couldn’t see. he was hanging his coat on the rack, like he always did after he locked the door. “she can’t right now.”
“why not?”
“because i think she’s dead,” haechan replied, nonchalant as ever.
that was the very second that johnny turned around and noticed that haechan was stained with blood. it was all over his face and the spots would probably never come out of his clothes, not that they would be kept.
for half a minute, johnny was genuinely stunned.
haechan didn’t say what happened, and there was no need to. “the blood won’t come off,” was all he said, showing his father the pair of hands that he’d washed with vigor.
johnny heaved a breath. he should’ve seen this coming. haechan took after his father and he never liked christine. to say the least, johnny couldn’t blame him. “where is she?”
“where they all go,” haechan replied, as if it was the most normal and natural thing in the world to him. 
johnny headed for the basement with quick footsteps, haechan following behind. if somebody were to come down there, they wouldn’t suspect a thing. not only was it decorated to look like one, but it was used as a man cave. behind a soundproof wall, though, was a dungeon for his prisoners. 
in this case, there was a trail of blood leading to the wall, proof that haechan had somehow brought christine there after he hurt her. johnny entered the cell and saw her there behind the bars, coming to her side to check her pulse. 
pressing his thumb to her wrist and neck, johnny sensed a pulse, though it was weakening. “she’s not dead,” he said, wresting his phone out of his pocket.
haechan didn’t look so relieved, but he didn’t voice his dissatisfaction. “are you mad?”
johnny glanced down at christine. haechan had used a kitchen knife, attacking her in the heat of the moment. she was butchered and blood-splattered, on the verge of slaughter, and yet johnny couldn’t find it in him to offer any compassion. “that you hurt her? no. that you made a mess? a little.”
now that was a relief. to haechan, at least back then, his dad was the coolest guy that he knew.
there was quite the scene in front of him and johnny didn’t have a thing for blood. he shook his head in reproach, chastising, “i’m going to teach you the right way to get rid of a woman when you’re sick of her.”
that piqued haechan’s curiosity. 
johnny was quick to dial jaehyun’s number. he had medical experience and that was what he needed right now. when the call connected, he said, “i’m in calling in a favor.”
jaehyun patched her up again. at least for a few months, johnny still needed her breathing. they scrubbed the floors free of blood, burned haechan’s bloodied clothes, and it was as if nothing ever happened.
what johnny had told you was only a fraction of the truth, but still enough to make you want to grimace. it bemused you how he got away with murdering his ex-wife and nobody thought to suspect her husband with a track record of disappearing partners.
“you want to know what’s really amazing?” you started, though it was more like disgusting. “how three of the women you’ve killed were your significant others, and somehow, you’ve only now been incriminated.”
johnny looked proud of himself. had it not been for haechan, he probably would’ve never been caught. “sabrina never told anyone that we dated, or that she had a baby by me. her parents wanted her to focus on her education. if they knew she’d gotten pregnant, she would’ve been the black sheep.”
“and you took advantage of that,” you hissed. 
“so what if i did?” johnny asked, careless. “not to mention that dozens of teenage girls in chicago were going missing at the time. they added martina to that number and called it a day. is that sad? maybe. but that’s how it works.”
“and as for your co-worker?” you asked sharply. the boldness of his crimes astounded you. “her husband grieves her. were you having an affair?”
the thought of her made johnny chuckle. oh, were we, he reminisced. it was a misfortune that he didn’t get the chance to have his way with her the way that he wanted. and for that reason, he couldn’t regale you in a truthful account of her death.
what happened that day, the day his co-worker died, challenged his fate and was the reason that he only now knew the imprisonment he thrusted upon others.
johnny knew when he spotted her that he would revel in her vulnerability. married, but she hardly wore her ring. her kind was the most naive - the kind that believed ecstasy was without costly sin. one way or another, she had to reap what she sowed.
he worked his way inside her pants, but it was hardly any work; she was on a desperate pursuit for pleasure and when johnny promised it to her, offering content on a silver platter, she thought less with her brain and more with the throbbing between her legs.
for months, johnny slept with her, which was far from typical. if she were anybody else, johnny would have pursued her for a couple of weeks time, then banished her to the underground prison. though considering he already had a victim down there at the time, he had some time to spare.
it was no secret that she had grown fond of johnny in ways she hadn’t been of her husband in a very long time, and though johnny found her to be special, in a way, he could not reciprocate her feelings. when johnny saw her, all he felt was the overwhelming urge to use her without a lick of remorse, and squeeze those panting breaths out of her.
it was a shame that he never got the opportunity. johnny already tested the bounds of his self-restraint when it came to her, each of their encounters consensual with her oblivious to his deepest, darkest desires. sometimes, his fingers would wander to her neck, but even that was wanted.
what was not wanted was the tyranny over her body that preceded her death. it bemused johnny to learn that his son, along with two of his friends that he thought of like brothers and johnny thought of like sons, ravaged her to the brink of being unrecognizable.
had johnny held control over the situation, he wouldn’t have cared what happened to her and would have even permitted them to go to town. but what happened was somehow darker. when he got a call from the professor late that day, hearing her broken sobs over the phone, he told her to meet him at his house.
that was his first mistake. 
it wasn’t that she didn’t come. she made it there, hopeful to confide in johnny about the nightmare that tore her apart, but it was haechan that opened the front door. and when she entered, there was no hope out of her coming out breathing.
haechan had been a downward spiral ever since a month ago when he stumbled upon the tape of his mother. ever since he was a boy, haechan watched every tape he could find of his father’s dark life, even sharing them with his friends as if they were movies and not snuff.
but this was not like those. this was his mother. and watching her suffer, listening to her final request before her untimely death, broke haechan in ways which he would never recover.
haechan had known since he was little that his mother was dead and his father was to blame, but his understanding of what happened to her was skewed. if he’d known eighteen years ago what he knew today, when johnny had his own son aid him in his mother’s demise, none of it would have ever happened.
to say nothing of the fact that what johnny had haechan do was only a mere fraction of his mother’s suffering. haechan would fetch things from the other side of the cabin he vaguely remembered visiting every now and then for three months. when he was not there, which was often, he would lie to his neighbors about her whereabouts.
even though when she died he was only a kid being taken advantage of, haechan hated himself for letting it happen right under his nose. he wished he would’ve told his neighbors the truth. maybe if he had, his mother would still be alive and kicking, and he would know the only woman he ever cared for.
that was why he went after his professor that he knew his father had also been eyeing closely and having an affair with. her fate was obvious. johnny would entertain her for a while, somehow charm and woo his way into her pants like he did every other woman, kidnap her and keep her downstairs for three months, then kill her and identify the next victim.
but johnny’s liking of her was also hopelessly discernable. she was living too long. and that was a telltale sign that johnny took a special interest in his son’s professor, something that haechan feared would rival the affection (if it existed) for his mother.
haechan was not keen on having his mother replaced. the last time it happened, he snapped and maimed his stepmother. and he was not afraid of doing so again.
when haechan exacted revenge, it felt like nothing he had ever done before. vengeance tasted like heaven. his professor tasted elysian. and he had never felt so good about himself, but then the high wore off, comparable to the fading release johnny got after strangling his victims, and familiar pain seared through him once further. 
vindictiveness was a lethal venom, festering quickly upon injection. after haechan got what he wanted, there was a greed to replicate that feeling, in spite of the fact that nothing would compare to that first blow. in his own way, unlike his father’s but similar nonetheless, he was pivoting towards release.
haechan was on the brink of something like psychosis when he heard those knocks on his front door. and when he peered outside, spotting the professor, his recklessness got the better of him.
she was dead before she even stepped inside the house. haechan yanked her inside, brought her downstairs, and forced himself onto her for a second time that day. when she wept for johnny, wishing he would come home, haechan almost pitied her naïveté.
if haechan hadn’t killed her, wrapping his hands around her throat the way that he knew his father had been yearning to, johnny would have.
the look on his professor’s face was pitiful. “sorry,” haechan said, though he clasped his hands around her throat harder. “but i have to make a statement.”
it was not particularly a difficult thing to do, at least not to stomach, but killing her was merely just a means to an end. he didn’t get off to it like his father would’ve. haechan’s interest lay in inflicting psychological damage, but he did it because he knew how much it pleasured johnny to squeeze the life out of his victims.
and if haechan couldn’t have what he wanted, then as long as he lived, neither would his dad for tearing it away.
johnny came home moments too late. haechan left his professor in the cellar for his father to find, eyes wide and face pale.
johnny glanced around. he saw her car parked outside, but no sign of her. when haechan came from his bedroom on the upper floor, a creeping feeling of deja vu flooded johnny’s chest, but he asked, “where is she?”
haechan’s face was expressionless. “she’s dead,” he replied, confident. “i mean it this time.”
johnny shook his head. “you killed her?”
“wasn’t it you that said you were going to teach me the proper way to dispose of a woman when i’m sick of her?” haechan asked, approaching his father as he crept down the stairs.
though johnny wasn’t pleased, he willed himself to calm down. “did you strangle her?”
“yes.”
johnny figured, from the lack of blood staining his house this time around. “will you tell me about it?”
that caught haechan off-guard. he expected his father to be angry, to let loose. he had to have been dreaming of choking her since the day he laid eyes on her. “you sick fuck,” haechan sneered.
johnny snickered, unbothered. that’s rich. “who do you think you got it from?”
obviously, from the face haechan was making, he didn’t like that. his nonchalant attitude dissipated. “i’m not like you!”
“keep telling yourself that. maybe one day you’ll delude yourself into believing it,” johnny replied, hanging his coat on the rack in spite of knowing he would be leaving again soon.
“i’m not like you - i mean that.”
johnny, miffed, rolled his eyes and said, “come on, son. you think i don’t know you and your friends have been watching my tapes for the past decade and then some like they’re cartoons?”
“but not mom’s,” haechan spat, loathing fizzing in his stare. 
johnny froze, then spun around. “is that what this is all about?”
haechan nodded, pleased his father was finally getting the picture. “i found it in your study. you hid it more carefully than the others, because she was special or you didn’t want me to find it, i don’t know.”
johnny heaved a breath. “you were never supposed to see that.”
“but i did,” haechan replied. “and i’ve suffered every day for the past month because of that.”
johnny shot without hesitation, “a suffering you brought upon yourself. nobody asked you to go snooping around in my things.”
haechan’s lips were twisted into the meanest snarl johnny had ever seen. emotion wrecked through him in its totality. “is that what’s important to you? i shouldn’t be surprised. you couldn’t even spare your own son’s mother from your heartlessness.”
johnny massaged his temple, summoning all of his willpower. “please,” he groaned, sensing an incoming headache. “women are weak, cheating whores. just look at your professor. maybe your mother wasn’t, but she was a liability.”
if that was supposed to console haechan, it had the complete opposite effect. “are you saying she deserved it?”
“i’m saying that you’ve always been too soft,” johnny said, not bothering to sugarcoat his chastising. “just like your mother. even when you were a child. that’s why i had you help me, i hoped you would harden up a little.”
haechan scoffed. “unbelievable.”
“your mother went quietly. she didn’t even fight it, haechan. so, why are you?”
“because of that,” haechan told him, vitriol in his voice. “she didn’t ask you to stop one time. she just asked you to get it over with.”
johnny tipped his head back. “ah, yes. she really was perfect, wasn’t she?”
that was all it took to kindle an unforgiving rage within haechan and in a moment of fury, flickering through him in a flash, haechan lifted his hand to smack his father.
johnny caught his wrist, as if this weren’t the first time this had happened and it was wholeheartedly expected. his voice lowered to a mere hiss, “i’ve never laid a hand on you. ever in your life. don’t make today be the day i start.”
haechan glared, but wrested his way out of his father’s grip and backed away.
johnny smoothed down his shirt and headed for the kitchen, knowing haechan would follow. this conversation was far from over. “now, if you excuse me, i have to clean up your mess,” he said, pulling a burner phone out of a drawer. “if you don’t mind.”
“i can clean up my own mess,” haechan replied, scowling. 
setting the phone on the counter, johnny reached for a glass. “no, you can’t. not without digging your own grave. unless you want to go to prison, pack your shit, ask one of your buddies if you can stay with them for a few days, and take the tapes with you. hide them.”
haechan made a face. “what are you talking about?”
johnny sighed. “we can’t get away with this one, son. her car’s parked outside. there’s too many loose ends.”
“we can get rid of the car. you don’t have to go to jail!” haechan shouted.
“it’s either you or me. frankly, i’m doing you a favor. you wouldn’t last two seconds behind bars,” johnny hissed. he grabbed another glass, sliding it across the counter, then said, “now, wine? you know, to celebrate your old man going away? i believe that’s what you want.”
haechan shook his head. never in his life had he been so conflicted. his father that he’d been so bent on despising until the day he died was voluntarily confessing to a crime he didn’t commit, just so that his son wouldn’t have to suffer in prison.
“why are you doing this?” haechan asked, bristling with emotion. 
johnny sighed. “because i love you, son. even if you don’t think so. and because your mother would be turning in her grave if she knew you were in prison.”
haechan blew out a breath. then, after a moment of reluctance, he grabbed the glass on the counter and reached for the wine bottle. 
johnny snickered. “atta boy.”
“i wonder how your son reacted when he learned you were going to prison for murder,” you said, pondering. “you live in the same house. i wonder how he didn’t know.”
johnny lied, “he was at a friend’s house when i killed her. doesn’t like that it was his favorite professor.”
you nodded along, buying his lies. “that is a lot to take in. i mean, imagine your dad was having an affair with your favorite science professor. then, he kills her, like how he killed your mom.”
johnny shrugged his shoulders. “have you never heard the phrase ‘the heart wants what it wants?’”
“i have,” you replied. “and i guess your heart wanted to stop the function of others.”
johnny laughed at his own expense. “oh, please. you give me too much credit. you shouldn’t make me out to be more romantic than i am.”
you shook your head in disappointment. “you make these women want you, and then you undo everything. that has to be part of the amusement to you.”
“it gets a chuckle or two out of me.”
your lips were tempted to curl into a frown for the umpteenth time that day alone. “why?”
johnny leaned up in his chair, exclaiming, “because it’s fun!”
you were going to say something, but he didn’t give you the chance. 
johnny continued, “everyday, as adults, we do the same job for hours and come home. people want excitement in their lives. women get exhausted of coming home to their husbands or nobody at all.”
your stare was blank. “and your point is?”
“i didn’t just make those women want me, baby. i made them need me,” johnny told you smugly. “i brought a spark to their lives, and i took it away just as fast. and i do it… because i can.”
“because you could,” you corrected, confident he would never be free of this place for as long as he lived. “you’re going to be in here a very, very long time.”
johnny grinned. “i wouldn’t be so sure.”
you cocked your brow. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
“wouldn’t you like to know?” johnny teased. you hated the smugness in his tone. like he knew something that you didn’t.
the door opened, and the guard from earlier returned. “i hate to interrupt, but it’s time for the count,” he said, coming behind johnny to undo his cuffs.
it all happened in a blink. johnny’s weight was pressed flush against yours, roughly thrusting you into the table. your body screamed, agony spreading through your side, but your gun was in a lockbox outside the room.
johnny knew from your conversations alone that you weren’t the type to go quietly. your first instinct was to fight back. naturally, you struggled against his hold, refusing to bend to his will even as panic shot through your chest. your whole body was on guard, aiming for survival.
but to your misfortune, your might was no match for johnny’s. you glanced to the guard for assistance, but when he only stood there as if he was waiting for it to end, the most unsettling feeling of realization washed over you.
“don’t fight him,” the guard said, arms crossed. “you won’t win.”
johnny snickered when he noticed your eyes widen in shock. you hadn’t seen that coming. though you tried to resist, it was over once his slender fingers came to your throat, and you genuinely feared for your life. 
you didn’t realize how good you had it just being able to breathe until you couldn’t anymore. your breaths wouldn’t come. it felt as if your bones were being crushed. your whole body was on fight mode, but it was like johnny had the reins, shutting down your senses one by one.
“you put up a good fight, detective,” johnny whispered darkly in your ear, admiring your struggle.
your lips parted, but you couldn’t speak no matter how hard you tried. your self-preservation instincts were no match against him. all you could do was meet johnny’s stare. the pressure on your neck was too much to handle, and in seconds, you were out.
“lights out,” johnny said. he released your throat, having no intention of killing you and leading you for dead, but knowing that you would likely regain consciousness in a matter of seconds, he grabbed you by the hair, smashing your head flat against the table to subdue you.
jaehyun winced, but he did nothing to step in. “poor girl,” he mumbled under his breath, pitying you. “had enough?”
“for now,” johnny replied. “let’s go.”
jaehyun gave johnny a uniform to wear so that he would blend in amongst the uniforms like jaehyun had and when he was ready, the two of them fled before they could be deterred.
when they had successfully gotten away, jaehyun asked with his hand on a steering wheel, “you know that i don’t agree with this, right?”
johnny snickered. it had absolutely been said. “you haven’t agreed with my lifestyle for the past twenty-five years, yet you still help me. why?”
jaehyun frowned. sometimes, he asked himself the same question, but deep down inside, he knew the answer. “because we may not share blood, but we’re brothers,” jaehyun replied. “and for my brother, i’ll do anything you need.”
johnny quipped, “like smuggle me across the border?”
“like smuggle you across the border,” jaehyun said, chuckling. “when we get there, there’s gonna be this dude named mark. he’s gonna help you out. i’ll be in touch.”
johnny nodded. “i can’t thank you enough, man.”
“just lay low and stay out of trouble,” jaehyun said, shaking his head. 
johnny grinned with mischief. he was already thinking about all of the beautiful women he couldn’t wait to get his hands on. “no promises,” he answered, sighing contentedly.
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https-harlow · 7 months ago
Text
First Time Parents (Paisley's Birth Fic)
Summary - You give birth to you and Jack's first daughter, Paisley.
Warnings - Labor and birth descriptions
A/N- wanted to post this either on her official birthday which is April 6th, or on my two-year writing anniversary, but both of those have passed so here we are.
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You were two weeks away from Paisley’s due date and you were super uncomfortable. You had been having some mild contractions, but you didn’t think anything of it. Jack’s mom was going to drive down to Atlanta a week before your due date to be there and help you and Jack. She wanted to come down sooner, you and Jack, but mostly you, had insisted that it would be fine if she waited. Your doctor said you weren’t showing signs of going into labor soon, and Jack decided against arguing with you about it. With Paisley being your first baby, neither you nor Jack knew how quickly things could change.
You had been having braxton hicks contractions for about a month now, which scared Jack and Urban every time. Jack and Urban were already protective of you, but even more so once you got pregnant, and as you reached the end of your pregnancy they pretty much didn’t let you do anything without help. You found it annoying at first, but the further you got, the harder your pregnancy got, so you became okay with the extra help.
You and Jack had been working on the babies room almost all day, and you were exhausted. You, Jack, and Urban had sat down to watch a movie, but you ended up going to your room before the movie had even been picked. You fell asleep almost immediately, but you woke up about an hour and a half later. You got up to get some water and as soon as you stood up you felt your water break, or at least what you thought was your water breaking. You walked out into the living room.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked as soon as he saw you walk around the corner. Urban was asleep on the couch.
“Don’t panic, but I think my water just broke,” You said and Jack jumped up off the couch.
“Wait, really? We have to go to the hospital, I’ll grab the bags. Wait, are you okay? Are you in pain? Do you need help?” Jack asked, automatically panicking. Jack panicking woke up Urban.
“What’s happening?” He asked.
“Y/N’s water broke,” Jack answered as he practically ran to your room to grab the hospital bags.
“I thought that wasn’t supposed to happen for a little while?” Urban asked.
“My due date was in two weeks, but she could be coming early.” Jack came out of your room, carrying the bags. 
“Urban, take these bags to the car.” Jack said, handing everything to Urban.
“We don’t have to go to the hospital yet,” You reminded Jack.
“But didn’t you say you might have been having contractions last night? We should go, the worst thing that could happen is they send us home.”
“You should go because I am not about to be responsible for delivering a baby,” Urban said before walking out to take the bags to the car.
“But I can’t have her now, your moms not here.” 
“We can call her on the way,” Jack reassured you.
“But I don’t want her to panic and try to rush here if I’m not into labor.”
“Okay, then let’s go find out if you’re in labor, if you are, we can call her, if not then maybe we should call her tomorrow and see if she can come down earlier just in case,” Jack suggested and you nodded.
“Okay.” You agreed, both of you walking out to the car. You met Urban half way.
“You guys going?” He asked, and you and Jack nodded.
“Yeah, Jack’s insisting.” 
“Well, text me when you know if you're in labor, or I guess have Jack text me, it doesn’t really matter. If you aren’t, I’ll see you two soon, and if you are, I hope the baby doesn’t have a big head like Jack,” Urban said, making you laugh.
“What the fuck?”
“Oh, come on, everyone can see you have a big head.” 
“If she wasn’t in labor, I swear,” Jack muttered underneath his breath.
“I’m not in labor.” You insisted. “But let’s go before I am,” You joked. 
“I’ll remember that,” Jack joked to Urban before you left.
While you had been feeling what you thought were braxton hicks all day, on the drive to the hospital you realized they might have been contractions. You realized you were feeling the same pain, but more intense. You didn’t tell Jack because you didn’t want him to freak out.
You had to wait to get checked, but once they brought you back you were admitted since your water broke, and you were five, almost six centimeters dilated already. Once the nurses put all the monitors on you, they left you and Jack alone.
“Holy fuck, I guess we’re having a baby soon,” Jack said, both of you were a little in shock, everything was happening so fast. You had gotten checked at your last doctor's appointment, and you weren’t dilated at all.
“I’m not ready, I can’t have this baby yet. Your mom isn’t here, you were supposed to go to the studio tomorrow, I’m not mentally ready to push a baby out, or ready to be responsible for a newborn.” You said, starting to panic.
“You can do this. I promise. I’ll call my mom, she will be on her way as soon as she can, if she doesn’t get here in time, it will be okay, we’ve done this so far all by ourselves, I have no doubt that this part will be any different. Plus, there’s nurses and doctors here, so everything will be okay,” Jack tried to reassure you, but you were still freaking out. And so was he.
Since it was essentially the middle of the night at this point, it took Jack about 30 minutes to get a hold of his mom, who immediately booked the first flight out. Unfortunately, the first flight wasn’t until about 7am, and it was midnight. She could have driven, but it was almost a seven-hour drive, after stops, and potential traffic even though it was the middle of the night, it wouldn’t have saved any time.
It became apparent very quickly that your labor wasn’t going to be very long, at least compared to most first time labors. In the first hour of you getting to the hospital, you had already dilated from 6cm to 7cm and your contractions started to get intense quickly.
“I feel like you have probably been in labor for longer than you realize with how quickly you’re progressing,” The nurse told you. “Most first time moms don’t progress this fast, but it’s also easy to not realize you’re in labor when it’s your first.”
“Is it too late to get the epidural?” You asked, you were terrified of getting the epidural, but with how fast the pain came on, you thought it was worth getting over your fear.
“No, it’s not too late, if you want the epidural I can get the anesthesiologist to come in a few minutes.”
“Yeah, I want the epidural.” You said and she nodded.
“I’ll get that taken care of, is there anything else I can get either of you?” You and Jack shook your heads before she walked out.
Jack felt helpless, there wasn’t anything he could do to take away your pain or make it better. He was also nervous. He had hardly even sat down since you got to the hospital, he was either standing by the side of your bed or pacing around the room.
“I’m never doing this again,” You said as you felt another contraction start.
“I’m sorry,” Jack sighed, reaching out to rub your back.
“Don’t touch me until I get the epidural,” You said, and Jack immediately pulled his hand away. 
A few minutes later, they came in for the epidural, as they were prepping you, you got even more nervous. 
“J, can you hold my hand?” You asked quietly, and Jack nodded, reaching out immediately to hold your hand. 
Getting the epidural wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be, and it helped ease the pain. Unfortunately, it didn’t help ease your anxiety.
“I’m scared,” You admitted.
“About giving birth or just in general?” Jack asked, pushing your hair out of your face.
“Both.”
“You can do this, I promise.” Jack reassured, he wasn’t sure what to say to make it better, he wasn’t sure if there was anything he could say that would make it better. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” You said as Jack leaned down to kiss you softly.
“Do you still think we should name her Paisley?” Jack asked, trying to distract you.
“Yeah, I still really like the name Paisley,” You said. “Do you?”
“Of course. Our little Paisley Sage,” Jack said, placing his hand on your bump.
It was only a few short hours later when you started pushing. You pushed for a little over an hour and a half, and even though it wasn’t, it felt like the longest part of your labor. Jack was right next to you the whole time, pushing your hair out of your face and letting you squeeze his hand when you needed to. Of course, you also may have cursed him out a few times during the process. 
Everything was worth it the second she was born and laid onto your chest, neither you nor Jack could take your eyes off of her. You were both automatically in love. Jack reached over to touch her hand, and she grasped his finger immediately. 
“I’m so proud of you,” Jack whispered to you, taking his eyes off of Paisley for a short moment to kiss you. You were both overwhelmed with emotions, tears falling from both of your eyes.
Once you were done with skin-to-skin, she was wrapped in a blanket and after you and the baby had been checked out to make sure you were okay, you, Jack, and Paisley were left alone. Jack was holding Paisley for the first time, rocking her slightly as she slept.
“Can you believe we're parents?” You asked and Jack laughed softly.
“Not at all, I can’t believe we’re responsible for someone as perfect as her.”
“Me neither,” You smiled at Jack. “It feels like it happened so fast.”
“Well, the labor did,” Jack joked, looking at the clock. “My mom still won’t be here for another hour.”
“I feel like it’s going to kick in a lot more when she gets here,” You said.
“I think it will kick in for me when we take her home and have to figure everything out on our own.”
“Well, there’s no one else I’d rather figure out life with.”
“I love figuring out life with you.”
Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv @middlechild404 @hufflewhore128 @christinabae @lafavoritaangel
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oxymorayuri · 6 months ago
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HI YURII, i absolutely adore the way you write and i wanted to request some hc’s or a small fic abt law reaction to reader’s pregnancy, likeee how’d he react after telling him and how those 9 months would affect law’s personality and relationship w reader
but only if u want too ofc! thx and have a wonderful dayy <3
A/N: Hi there, my darling ♡
How can I refuse such a lovely request? I feel very honored every time you guys tell me that you enjoy my stories. My heart fills with pride when I read your kind comments.
OneShot or HC? Why not both? Two are better than one!
Here are the headcanons [Law|Ace|Kid|Doffy]
Okay, let's go! Have fun with the OneShot!
✦ Pairing: Trafalgar D. Water Law x Reader ✦ Content: idk, not much, i guess? I'm pretty bad at this lol. bit angst, a little jealousy and endless fluff ✦ Spoiler: none ✦ Description: You're pregnant and Law's reaction is everything you could wish for *-* This OneShot doesn't completely fit the request, hence the HC, hope that's okay :3
Wordcount: 6383
❝𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠!❞
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It's quite unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night, but you woke up with an overwhelming craving for something sweet. Falling straight back to sleep is hopeless, so you're forced to stare around the room until perhaps drowsiness sets in.
Aside from the ticking of the clock, it's absolutely silent but you feel as if the ticking is becoming progressively louder 'til you have satisfied your ravenous appetite.
You picture it, the mousse that Ikkaku made… You have no clue how she makes it. You've tried to make it yourself, even following her recipe, but it's just not the same. However, when Ikkaku makes it, it tastes heavenly.
You can feel the foamy dessert melting on your tongue and the subtle hint of dark chocolate spreads through your mouth. Your saliva starts to gather in your mouth... That's enough! You need to eat dessert. Immediately!
The chance of waking Law is high, yet you would kill for a little midnight snack! The only thing is; you have to get out of Law's arms first...
You look at the dark haired man as he sleeps with a peaceful face. One arm around your waist, face to face.
On days like this, when you two haven't had much of each other, you'll at least have your little moments in your shared bed. With your faces turned towards each other, you talk about your busy day… Until one of you falls asleep and that one is usually you.
It's mostly you who talks about your day and Law hangs on your every word while you talk enthusiastically about all sorts of things.
Law is usually a bit reserved, because in his opinion he always does the same thing anyway and you must be getting bored of that. But that's not the case. You love the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about the things he has learned from his book, or when he has got hold of a rare coin.. He always lights up like a little boy who's been at school for the first day.
[throwback]
“…And did you know that an adult's entire intestine is 5 to 7 meters long? Imagine that.” You raise your eyebrow in disbelief.
“Five to seven meters?! No way, how is that supposed to fit?” You stroke your stomach while Law laughs at your bewilderment. Of course you believe him, you believe anything he says. He could tell you every lie and you would believe it immediately, but luckily Law doesn't lie to you. He is sometimes very secretive towards you and keeps a lot to himself like a loner, but he is by no means a liar.
“No joke, you can believe me… I could show you if you like.” Law speaks with a confident self assurance that makes you snort.
His confused eyes look at you insistently and he repeats that he could show you while raising his hand.
“Room!” You immediately realize what he's up to and you reach out with both hands to stop him. He really is planning to show you his intestines. Ah, no thanks.
You shake your head, still chuckling.
“I always believe you, my love… It's just kind of hard to imagine…” - “Yes, I know... I could hardly believe it either. That's why I took my intestine out straight away and measured it.”
You can't take any more. Law speaks with a nonchalance that brings tears to your eyes. You love him for his strangeness, that's what makes him so human.
“Anything for science.” you whisper quietly to him.
No longer interested in how long the human intestine is, you lean over and give him a little kiss. Being with Law is always a learning experience, the special thing is what you learn about Law along the way. About his heart and mind, while he talks about all the things that fascinate him.
Gosh, you adore him so much.
[throwback end]
Law's slight movement snaps you out of your reverie and for a moment you have the chance to slip out of his arms.
Silent as a ninja, you sneak out of your room and scurry into the kitchen.
Once in the kitchen, you can't wait another second and spoon up the dessert right in front of the fridge.
Whilst you let each scoop melt in your mouth, you hear footsteps coming closer to the kitchen. You try to hide, but it's too late because Bepo, who also wanted to sneak into the kitchen, enters.
You look at him like a frozen deer and he gives you a similar look. With your eyes still staring at the polar bear, you slowly bring the spoon to your mouth and devour the chocolate mousse. Without your eyes parting for even a second.
“What are you doing?” You leave the spoon in your mouth and look at him with a tilted head.
“Err, what does it look like…?” Your voice a little muffled, as if you were brushing your teeth. It's obvious what you're doing? With the bowl in your hand, you sit down at the table and wave the Mink over to you.
“Come on, get over here before the mousse is gone.” A little taken aback, he blinks a few times and joins you at the table.
Of course he wants some of the chocolate wonder, so he hurries to you.
You take turns spooning from your bowl and after each bite you hold your hand to your flushed cheek. It tastes simply divine.
However, you barely exchange a word, because it goes without saying that this meeting will remain a secret. You only hear a pleasurable moan and a soft mumble in between.
A few days have passed since then and a few other unusual things have happened. Your cravings have become a little weirder, your sense of smell has increased and fish suddenly no longer tastes good to you! As soon as you smelled sushi, you felt sick to your stomach. Unusual, you thought, but it could have been something else. You didn't think anything else of it and went about your everyday duties, quickly forgetting about the oddities anyway.
Until you got up one morning and ran straight to the toilet. You felt nauseous and it came out faster than you would have liked, so you left the door open and it gushed out of you straight into the toilet.
Your dinosaur like noises woke up the grouchy Law who rubbed his eyes in a drowsy state.
Who or what is that? And why is it so loud?
Law is definitely not a morning person. Talk to him before his coffee and you will see… Well, nothing will happen except that he ignores you and turns around. He won't even talk to you before he takes a sip, but no problem. Isn't it always like this; that a bright person is together with a grumpy one?
Tired, the black haired man sits up and runs his fingers through his tangled hair while still sitting on the edge of the bed with his eyes closed.
The noise is unusually loud and seems as if it is directly in the next room… In the next room… And finally it clicks in his head. You are making that noise.
Law snaps his eyes open, being fully awake now, and hurried to the open bathroom. There he looked down at you with your head almost IN the bowl, unable to stop vomiting.
At first he stood in the doorway, looking somewhat at a loss, until he finally remembered that he was a doctor.
You weren't responsive right now anyway… So Law prepared a few things for you when you finally finished throwing up…
Concerned, he stands behind you with a glass of water in his hand. It seems to be reaaally bad. He doesn't like seeing you like this, your health is important to him, probably more important than his own.
You've noticed for a while that Law is standing behind you and you appreciate him not saying anything. You're not embarrassed, not in front of Law, he's taken care of you before when you've drunk yourself into a coma so the sight shouldn't be that strange. You had to smile a little when you noticed how he tied your hair in a ponytail, so it wouldn't fall in front of your face, while you emptied out your stomach.
“Oh god. There shouldn't be *bleurggh* anything left in my *bleurggh* stomach…” A little out of breath, you lean against the wall next to the toilet.
You're not quite sure if it's the end, but it feels all right.
“I assume it's a little better now?” Tired from throwing up, you look up at him while he hands you the glass of water with a scrutinizing look.
You can't do more than nod half heartedly.
Law walked over to the toilet and flushed the contents, which looked like two days' worth of stomach contents.
He squatted down to you and began to clean your face with a lukewarm cloth. You don't look sick. Your eyelids don't droop and your skin doesn't look too pale. You just look a little worn out, which is no wonder. After all, you've given the toilet the biggest serenade of your life.
“I should take you to the infirmary and run some tests.” His hands reach for yours. With his thumb, he gently strokes the back of your hand and pulls lightly to help you to your feet. A little wobbly on your feet, you hold on to him and smile weakly at him.
“…I'm fine, thank you my love.” A little cold water on your face should be enough, so you go over to the sink to freshen up.
“Don't argue y/n, as your captain and doctor, I'm telling you that I'll give you a check up.” You look at him through the mirror as you run your wet hands through your face and roll your eyes.
“Uh huh, as captain and doctor…”
he groans a little and takes you in his arms from behind
“And as your partner too, of course.”
He kisses you on the cheek and you lean into his embrace with a little chuckle. For just a moment, you can savor your embrace, but the very next second, you find yourself in the same position with him in the infirmary.
That whole shambling around doesn't do you any good at all, you were already feeling sick anyway and you always feel a bit dizzy when he teleports with you. You put your hand over your mouth but it's too late. You quickly rush to a garbage can and fill it with your vomit.
“Hah… Law, that wasn't so clever…” You lean on the bin with both hands as you kneel in front of it.
“Ah…uh…sorry, force of habit…” His words seem a little flustered and as you look over your shoulder you see him sheepishly stroke his beard.
Yep, force of habit… It's definitely not the first time he's teleported you somewhere. Whether he wanted to kidnap you in your busy routine or wanted to steal you away from annoying guys.
He can be a bit jealous sometimes, even if he doesn't say anything, you can see right through him. Honestly, you have to admit to yourself that you enjoy it perhaps a little too much. Law usually reacts rather passively, but at some point things start to get over his limit and he reacts, somewhat flashily…
[throwback]
It's a lovely afternoon on the Sunny, and before you went your separate ways, the Heart Pirates and the Straw Hats wanted to throw a nice party to celebrate your victory.
You had a good time together and formed strong friendships, it makes you a little sad that you won't see each other for a while… but you are sure that your paths will cross again soon.
You keep glancing back to where Law is drinking some sake with Zoro, while Usopp and Luffy were doing all sorts of silly things. You can't help giggling at the sight. Their conversations are also rather short, but somehow they both seem quite relaxed and enjoy the silence between them. Your sweet introvert…
You turn back to the ladies at the table and get into a conversation full of girl stuff and laughter. Right by your side, there's Bepo napping on the floor and while your chin rests in one hand, listening to Nami, you pat Bepo's head with the other.
At your service is none other than Sanji and he serves you with the most distinguished manners. You like Sanji, he is charming and knows how to talk to women and sometimes you allow yourself to have fun and go for it… You don't flirt back, no way! You're crazy about Law and everyone knows it, but you like to have a bit of fun.
“Here my beautiful ladies, I've allowed myself to prepare your favorite drinks.” With grace and style, he holds the tray in his hand and serves you some fresh drinks. He pushes a beautifully decorated cocktail glass in front of you, one with a light blue liquid, topped with whipped cream and blue glitter sprinkles.
You know exactly what kind of drink is in front of you and happily thank the Blondie. How thoughtful he is… he's made you your favorite drink; swimming pool!
You gleefully nip at the straw and let the refreshing drink run down your tongue. As you spoon down some of the cream, you notice that Sanji has used coconut milk ice cubes instead of water ice cubes. How creative! This way the drink doesn't get watered down and only gets creamier and that's exactly how you love your swimming pool - creamy!
“Aww Sanji, you're always so thoughtful and good to us!” With your eyes closed, you enjoy your drink. It's so well prepared that you can barely taste the alcohol; how dangerous.
With your hand on your cheek, you praise the cocktail. Nami gushes with you and sighs contentedly that this is her everyday life... and Sanji loves doing it! That's the best part.
“We're really lucky to have Sanji, aren't we?” Robin giggles, as Sanji loses his temper in a dramatic way. It's as if all the attention is making his heart leap through his chest, and on one knee he babbles something about how it's not just an honor to serve you, but his greatest joy.
He may be a little pushy but isn't he also a little funny? Your girl gang bursts out into laughter, oh dear, if you only knew how Law watches the spectacle from behind with an annoyed expression…
With his chin in his hand, Law taps his cheek a little impatiently with one finger. He can hit on whoever he wants, but does he always have to get so close to you? He's got Nami and Robin to ogle, but you're his!
He knows he doesn't have to be jealous. You're only being friendly to him, as you are to everyone, but the reaction of others is what annoys him. The fact that some people think you're flirting with them, when you're just very kind and approachable (yea guess who's not.) literally pisses Law off.
He is quite sure that no one but himself has a chance with you, in fact he knows that you can become quite different if someone crosses your line… If Law's line hasn't been crossed before… It's pretty different sometimes…
Like today for example, today Law doesn't have that much patience and since Sanji moves in your inner circle, his limits are crossed quite quickly. And maybe all that sake is also to blame.
Because of your lively conversation, you realize far too late, how Law has formed his blue dome over you and just as Nami remarks it, you find yourself already on Law's lap.
Bewildered, you look up at him while his gaze is somewhat serious on Sanji. When he felt your gaze on him, he looked you in the eye with his typical grin and spoke with an absolute calmness that made your heart flutter.
“You all right?” You widen your eyes a little and raise both eyebrows. Is he serious? As if it's such a normal thing to just teleport me onto his lap out of nowhere, like it's the most normal thing in the world.
You know exactly why he did it. You saw the look he gave Sanji, but okay, you just play along. Let's see what happens.
“Yes, of course. Do you need something, love?”
He comes a little closer to you, his gaze melts the ice in your drink because you're getting so hot, but you try not to show it and smile at him innocently.
Before he reaches for the straw, he looks provocatively over to Sanji and drinks from your cocktail.
“You talked so highly of it, I really wanted to try it too, you know?” - “Sure…” like hypnotized you watch him sip from your drink while his eyes rest on your lips.
“You've got some whipped cream on your lip…” you want to quickly wipe the cream away with your hand but Law holds it tight and speaks in a low mellow voice "no, let me..."
Barely a second later, his lips are already on yours and he licks the cream off your lips in a luscious kiss.
You didn't even realize what was happening to you as you sat frozen on his lap. You can only vaguely make out the annoyed murmur of Zoro telling you to get a room or Nami cheering joyfully. You slowly come back to your senses and lean close to his ear, to whisper a few sweet words…
“I love sweet kisses… how 'bout we continue on the Polar Tang?”
Honestly, you love the way Law steals you away. He doesn't do it in an aggressive way, but in a way that makes it clear who you belong to. He never confronts the others, he just shows how in love you are with each other.
If that's not territory marking then you don't know BUT you love it.
His reaction is as expected. You know that look all too well. There's something overwhelming about the way Law's beautiful eyes run over your face as you innocently bite your lip. You could swear his eyes darken and he runs his tongue over his lower lip with a grin.
His grip tightens and his laugh deepens so that you can feel the vibration of his voice.
“Good idea.” He places a small kiss on your cheek before saying goodbye to the others. The question marks are written all over your face. You really just wanted to tease him, but you could have guessed what is about to happen.
You barely managed to wave goodbye before you found yourself back in your room on the Polar Tang. And well, you know it's obvious what will happens next… ;)
[throwback end]
“All right, so far so good. Now just a small blood check and then we'll be on the safe side.” His words bring you out of your memory and you look at his back. At a small table, he prepares a syringe to take some of your blood.
With concentration, he turns around and traces along your arm to locate a suitable vein.
“Could you make a fist?” You do as he says and he nods in response. When he had found a suitable spot, you were allowed to relax your hand and he smoothly drew the blood into the tube.
You watch him in complete devotion as he looks attentively at the syringe. Your eyes meet for a moment before he quickly returns to his task and presses a band aid onto the needle mark.
“That's it.” Again, he turns away from you to dispose the materials properly. A little disappointed, you slide down with your butt from the stretcher. You wish you could have watched him a little longer. He always looks so handsome when he's fully concentrated on his work.
“When will the results be ready?” you ask curiously as you look over his shoulder. By now you're feeling much better, you're sure it's nothing serious.
“Give me a few hours and I should have something out.” - “Hardworking as ever.” You gently stroke his shoulder as you went to turn around and Law quickly reached for your hand.
He gently pulls you close to give you a kiss on the back of your hand, his eyes always have a powerful effect on you and your cheeks turn a soft pink.
“We should go for breakfast, you should regain your energy. Go ahead, I'll clean up and come straight away.” Your heart softens at his care.
“I'll make us some coffee then.” Satisfied, he nods at you and lets go. In a good mood, you walk along the corridors of the cold Polar Tang, humming a bright melody.
The day went on as usual, the work on the Polar Tang was pure routine. A few small repairs here and inspections there. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just as you were about to leave the engine room to write your report, you bump into your friend.
“Heyyy y/n, already done with work?” You look up from your notes and have a chat with Ikkaku. After an waaay too short talk, you part ways as her beeper has gone off and she quickly went back to work. Apparently she has a lot to do... Your eyes go back to your list. You need to talk to Law, because you're slowly running out of materials for the maintenance of your submarine.
You've been underwater for quite a while now and you should be ascending soon. Ikkaku could probably use some materials too, maybe you should do a general inventory and make a supply list with Law. Just as you were about to turn around to go to Ikkaku to start with her, your beeper sounds.
A quick glance at your black device tells you that Law wants to talk to you, so you turn around again.
So, then you'll start the list tomorrow. After all, you'll be traveling for a few more days before you reach the next island...
You can't quite believe your ears and you stand in front of Law with your mouth open, completely frozen. Your pretty brain has to process this information first. You actually want to say something but don't quite know how to start the sentence.
“Y-you say I'm pregnant?!!!” You automatically reach for your belly.
“How could this happen?!” you look up at Law, unsure of how you should feel. To be honest, you're a little overwhelmed, but it's not actually a bad thing. You're actually at the age where it's appropriate, aren't you?
Law, who is leaning against his table in front of you, takes a breath to explain to you HOW this could have happened, in a physical and medical sense.
With knitted eyebrows, you shake your hand in front of Law in order to stop him. You know how, but somehow you're surprised. You often hear that the birth control failed here and there and the woman got pregnant, but somehow you think it would never happen to you and now it's happened to you.
Surprise, surprise.
You drop into a chair and look a little defeated.
“Shit…” you mutter. Law takes the results of your blood report and tries to change the subject.
“But hey, judging by your results, you're perfectly healthy and have the best possible condition for the baby." He turns the page to check a few more things.
“We should probably just get some more sun and fresh air for your wellbeing. Your vitamin D levels are a little low… No wonder down here…” In his head, he makes a mental note to talk to Bepo and Hakugan about surfacing today.
That sounds as if…
“Do you want me to keep the child?” You look up at him, a little surprised. A pleasant excitement spreads through your chest at the thought that Law will be the father of your child.
His eyes peek over the edge of the paper, looking down at you. He examines your glazed eyes, places the papers on the table and crouches down in front of you to be closer to you.
“Do you want to keep the child, y/n?” he notices that you're a little unsure, but that's okay. That's normal... but he will follow your final decision. No matter what you decide, he will stand by you and make sure you are both safe and happy.
Somehow it all feels surreal. You and Law are having a baby. That will change everything now, but you're longing to find out what it's like. You shrug your shoulders a little sheepishly.
“Uh-huh… kind of, yea.” Somewhat embarrassed, you smile at him. For you, getting together with Law has always been like hitting the jackpot, but you'd never thought about you two becoming parents.
But dear, if you only knew how Law sees you… He'd be lying if he said he wasn't happy about becoming a dad, but right now you're coming first, since you're feeling 'a little under the water'. [sorry but I couldn't help myself, lol]
“Well, I guess we have something to celebrate, don't we?“
Law's grin makes you smile. Somehow he always pushes the right buttons with you. With his charming looks, his cunning manner and clever little head, he always manages to mess with your feelings. You've never felt this way about anyone before and you weren't exactly a virgin before… Now that you're becoming parents, you feel like you're starting to really mature with Law.
“How are we going to tell them?” Parties are not his thing, you know that, but as soon as the others find out, they want to throw a party anyway.
He seems to be thinking deeply as he plays with your fingers.
“Maybe we'll just throw a party…” you look down at him in surprise, but he explains why.
“I know for a fact that we won't be able to avoid it…” a small giggle slips out of your mouth and you gently squeeze his hand, but Law breaks your eye contact.
“Well, I won't be able to get around it…” You're never against a fun party, but after an hour Law's social battery is usually drained and he disappears into his study.
“Not a bad idea, actually. If we plan the party, we can be sure that it won't be too chaotic. Let's keep it simple.” Law is pleased that you share the same thought. Well, it's probably because you can't party as hard as usual, but it doesn't make you sad. Somehow the joy slowly sets in.
Law gets up and pulls you up with him while you both hold hands. Without saying a word, he takes you in his arms and you breathe in his calming scent. At this very moment you just feel so good, even though you were so scattered until a few moments ago, you are sure that everything will work out with Law by your side.
You're kind of excited. The crew thinks you're throwing a party because you're resurfacing today and they believe that cheap lie, but what pirate crew needs a reason to throw a party? They probably don't give it a second thought and are happy to have food and booze under the sun.
In a good mood, you hum a little tune in the kitchen while you prepare a few treats in the kitchen. At some point, Shachi comes by and you tell him that he shouldn't be snacking, but he just laughs cheekily at you and stuffs a filled onigiri into your mouth. You hum contentedly as you taste the tuna cream.
“You're getting better and better y/n, the shape is a real triangle this time too!” you smack him on the back of the head and huff in offense.
He's used to it and your blows don't even really hurt so he just laughs as he rubs his head.
“I'm sure Law will be more than pleased.” Without a care in the world, he picks another treat from the little buffet you've set up and disappears into the corridor.
Your gaze rests on your bitten onigiri. You are secretly thrilled that he thinks Law will be happy. You wonder if he is looking forward to your current situation in general.
After you surfaced with the Polar Tang, Law and a few others set up the deck. Tables and benches were set up and you and Ikkaku hung up some hanging garlands to make it look more festive. After putting the finishing details on the final appearance, you put your hands on your hips in satisfaction while Law stepped to your side.
“They really don't suspect anything…” he whispers in your ear.
You just smile to yourself. After all, it just seems like you're having a party as usual. The buffet, the decorations, the festive lights and a small bar on the deck are just the same as usual.
Law doesn't know it, but you couldn't help yourself and had to tell Ikkaku about it immediately. After all, she's your best friend. You can definitely trust her not to spill the beans and it shouldn't be too difficult because you're throwing the party today anyway. She even offered to prepare a few desserts. With hearts in your eyes, you accepted her offer, of course.
All in all, it was an evening like any other with your crew. There was laughter, some dancing, a lot of goofing around and singing. Avoiding the alcohol was quite difficult, but luckily Ikkaku was your knight in shining armor. She always swapped your cup with hers, with only water inside, in an discreet fashion.
As the sunset glowed over your submarine and the atmosphere on deck calmed down allowing everyone to enjoy the last rays of sunshine, Law decided that now was the perfect time to spread the news.
He raised his glass and tapped it lightly with his fork so that everyone's attention was drawn to him by the clinking sound.
A few of the pirates look up at him in surprise. It's not that unusual for Law to make a speech from time to time, but there shouldn't be any special reason for him to make one today. Or maybe there is?
Glances go round among themselves. You smile knowingly to yourself as you watch the confusion on their faces.
“Sometimes there are unexpected twists and turns on our travels and sometimes it's the best thing that could have happened to us. In the end, everything always turned out well and that's only because we trusted and helped each other. We may be pirates, but we are also…” - “A FAMILY” Penguin and Sachi cry and shout in unison.
Law's words are unexpectedly touching. His words are always wise and uplifting… but this time he not only speaks from the heart, but with it and everyone is moved to the core.
You could cry because you know why he uses such beautiful words. With a satisfied grin, he agrees with the men.
“Exactly. We are a family and today y/n and I want to announce something to you.” Little by little, questioning glances wander to you and Law nods to you with an encouraging expression on his face. He now leaves you the honor of continuing.
“I'm pregnant!” you blurt out in a squeaky voice.
The looks go back and forth between you two in a rather funny way while the surprise is written all over everyone's face.
All of a sudden, the group erupts into a joyful roar and congratulations are given to you. Ikkaku can finally take you in her arms, her eyes overflowing with tears. A few of the men are shaking hands with Law while Bepo rushes up to Law and almost crushes him in a hug.
Your heart bursts as you watch the cheering crowd and stroke Ikkaku's back in a soothing manner as she utters some incomprehensible words of joy…
In the chaotic happiness, your and Law's eyes met. He seems as happy as you feel.
The atmosphere were already great before, but now it's just amazing.
They raise a toast to both of you and your little one, while Penguin and Shachi fight over which of them gets to listen and feel your belly first. You have to laugh at their goofiness, because there's not much of the typical pregnancy belly to be seen yet.
Bepo comes running towards you with cute beady eyes and gives you a warm embrace. He snuggles up to your head and you brush against his soft fur…
You hear his soft sniffle and in a low voice he whispers to you how happy he is for you guys.
“You're going to be great parents!” You wipe a small tear of joy from his face and pull yourself together so that you don't burst into tears yourself, but you're just too emotional. Your walls collapse and the tears roll down your cheeks.
The rest of the gang decides to come up to you and engages even Law in a huge group hug. It touches you more than anything how happy your friends are for you.
You can hardly wait to tell your friends the Straw Hats. You wonder how they will react. You secretly hope that it will be the reason you'll see each other sooner than you thought.
You really want to go shopping with Ikkaku, Robin and Nami for the baby!
You let the evening fade away together until at some point it was just you and Law.
The evening got a bit chilly and before you could even get cold, Law put his coat around you. Thanking him with a quiet smile, you can still see the joy on his face… And you? You can still hardly believe it. You're going to be parents… but you're still thinking about how Law really feels. He's obviously happy but you wish you could hear what he's thinking.
“Law, tell me, how do you feel?” Your eyes are fixed on the sea. You watch the glittering reflection of the moon in the water, while his gaze rests on you.
“I don't know. I kind of feel everything. Excitement, joy but also some fear.” Your gaze quickly goes up to him, but his eyes are now on the open sea.
The fact that he feels the same as you is somehow reassuring. You're a bit jealous of him for always keeping such a cool head, because unlike you, he seemed so calm and confident the whole time.
“You know y/n, when I went through the results today I could hardly believe my eyes when I realized why you were feeling bad.” With his arms leaning against the railing, he smiled down at you.
“I thought my heart stopped working and when it started beating again, a new feeling was born...” The glimmer in his eyes is as calming as a fire, that is about to fade out.
You are not used to so many touching words and your heart starts beating quicker with each word. The way he says everything is saved in your brain like a video and you dare not to speak a word.
He turns his upper body towards you and moves a little closer to gently brush a strand of hair out of your face. A little hesitantly, he begins to speak again, as if searching for the right words in your eyes.
“A feeling... that I thought I had long lost… The feeling of having a family.”
Okay y/n don't cry. Don't cry!
Law kisses your forehead as he wipes a tear from your face. The feeling of his warm lips disappears faster than you'd like, though, and Law takes a step back to get down on one knee.
With his gaze fixed on your eyes, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. You know what this means but you fail to move or say anything. Wide eyed, you follow Law's movements.
“I wanted to do this much earlier… but somehow I didn't find the right time… or maybe I was just waiting for this very moment?” Law isn't quite sure himself where he gets these words from, but so much has changed after today. He opens the box and your gaze falls on the sparkling ring.
“Y/n will you marry me?”
With quivering lips, you nod at him while tears flow like a waterfall and you throw yourself onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
You usually have a lot to say, but this time Law has left you completely speechless.
You could have said yes a thousand times but it would never be enough to make it clear how much you want to be his wife.
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A/N: Oh well… Law. I bet you'd be great as a dad.
I hope you enjoyed it ♡
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maswritingblog · 6 months ago
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The Arrangement - Part Six
Summary: Lucy navigates her emotions and Marcus has a surprise.
Warnings: Conversations about pregnancy, Smut (18+ ONLY), Emotions.
A/N: Surprise! I'm so sorry it took so long to get this posted. I realized today that part five was posted in December 2022 and that's absolutely insane. Thank you to everyone who has been waiting patiently for this, and to those who still engage with me and my content even as I haven't been posting. I appreciate you all, and I hope you enjoy.
A/N 2: This is a reader fic but I have chosen a random name for the reader as that is the way I like to write. I give no descriptions of the reader, so feel free to picture "Lucy" any way you want!
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Friends raising a kid together.
That was the deal.
And yet as Lucy sat in her car in Marcus’s driveway waiting for him to arrive, she found herself questioning everything. What happened next? Where did they stand now that she was pregnant? They’d agreed to an arrangement to conceive, and they had done so, but she hadn’t expected things to change so much in the process. Maybe it was foolish of her to assume that she would be able to sleep with her friend for several weeks without developing feelings; maybe it was foolish to assume she could get through this and come out on the other side the same.
Part of her wondered if Marcus felt any different about her. He tended to wear his emotions on his sleeve and get caught up in them easily, but somehow she wasn’t sure where she stood with him. Either he’d learned to hide his emotions better than he let on, or he didn’t feel anything new for her at all. Maybe he was better suited for this type of arrangement than she was, surprising as that may be.
The crunch of tires on the pavement alerted her to his arrival and she took a few deep breaths to pull herself together.
“Okay, you can do this, Luce,” she whispered to herself in the rearview mirror. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
Sighing softly, she stepped out of her car and followed Marcus up the driveway to his front door. He held the takeout bag in one hand as he slid the key into the lock and opened the door. As much as she was looking forward to some pancakes to cure her sweets craving, part of her wanted to take the bag and leave before she had to have an awkward conversation.
She followed him inside, kicking off her shoes and hanging her jacket as she usually did. Marcus placed the food on the coffee table before taking off his own shoes and coat. Lucy went to the kitchen for plates and cutlery and brought them into the living room.
“I got those strawberries you like.” He commented as he sat on the couch, loosening his tie until he could pull it over his head, ruffling his hair in the process.
“Mmm, thank you.”
Lucy kneeled on the floor on the opposite side of the table and opened the takeout bag, the sweet smell of pancakes hitting her nose. Although it made her salivate, the smell of Marcus’s bacon that followed immediately made her stomach turn.
“Oh, god.” She gasped, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth.
Marcus’s eyebrows furrowed deeply. “What’s wrong? You okay?” he asked urgently.
Swallowing thickly, she nodded. “Sorry, I guess bacon is off limits now.”
Standing, he reached into the bag and pulled out the container with the offending meat and took it into the kitchen without a word. When he came back, he had a glass of water that he held out to her.
“Sorry,” she swallowed again, taking the water to wash down the taste of bile in her throat.
He shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I had a friend who couldn’t stand the smell of cooked meat when she was pregnant. We’ll just have to figure out what sets you off and what doesn’t.”
She should have known he’d be understanding; there was no universe where Marcus Pike wasn’t understanding and attentive to the ones he cared about. It was probably only going to be amplified now that she was pregnant. She wasn’t sure why that overwhelmed her.
“Pancakes still sound good?” He asked, reaching into the bag for the container. “Or I guess ‘smell good’?”
“Thankfully, yes.”
They ate in silence for a bit. Lucy wondered what was going through his mind, wondered if it was anything close to what she had been thinking about in the car. Did she even need to bring it up to him? Or was he under a completely different impression? She supposed the only way to find out was to ask, but that seemed so terrifying.
“What are you thinking about?” Marcus finally broke the silence.
Lucy hummed around her bite of pancake. “Hmm?”
He set his fork down in his empty take out container and gave her his full attention. “Luce, you’ve got your thinking face on. What’s up?”
Well, shit. She had hoped she could avoid any awkward conversation tonight, but she forgot how attentive he could be, how much he paid attention.
Maybe she could avoid talking about that though.
Shrugging, she pushed the last bite of pancake through the sticky syrup on the bottom of the container. “Big changes. Easy to have a lot on your mind.” She hoped the vague answer would be enough.
She should have known better. Marcus nodded slowly, eyes flickering over her face as he studied her closely. Finally, he leveled her with a soft yet serious stare. “Lucy.”
It was just her name, but she could tell he knew there was something more to it by the way he said it. She could feel anxiety bubbling inside her at the thought of explaining to him what was on her mind. But she knew she needed to behave like an actual adult and speak with him instead of keeping it bottled up.
When she didn’t respond right away, Marcus’s brow furrowed. “You’re not…you’re not having second thoughts, are you?” he asked, his voice small as if the thought terrified him.
Lucy’s eyes widened. That had never crossed her mind, there was no way she’d back out of this situation; she would never do that to him. Shaking her head, she rose from her spot on the floor and moved to sit beside him on the couch, her hands reaching out to grasp his arm.
“Marcus, no. No second thoughts, no regrets, nothing. I’m having this baby…we’re having this baby.” She reassured him, holding his gaze so he would know she meant every word.
His deep brown eyes softened as the worry lessened, but he wasn’t completely reassured. “Then what’s going on, Luce? You look like something is bothering you.”
She sighed. There was no way to avoid it…but how did she ease into the subject?
“It’s not bothering me, it’s just something I started thinking about after the appointment.”
He nodded slowly, listening intently like he always did.
“I was just thinking about what the pregnancy means…for us.”
His brow furrowed again. “For us?”
“Okay,” Sighing again, she rose from the couch and began to pace the space in front of the coffee table. “I don’t want to make this weird or uncomfortable. I mean, we’re going to be raising a kid together and I don’t want to make that harder…” she was rambling now. “It’s just…maybe I don’t want this to just be friends raising a kid together. And that’s something I have to think about, because I knew what the deal was when we started this, and just because I feel differently doesn’t mean you do.”
How had she gone from deciding to put up boundaries to protect herself from getting hurt to confessing her feelings to him? Had those pancakes been laced with truth serum or something? Or was it just looking into Marcus’s kind eyes that had her willing to spill all her secrets? Maybe it was the hormones.
And now she’d probably made things awkward. How would he react to her confession? Would he let her down gently in the way only Marcus Pike could, or would he not know what to say and she’d have to leave and hope he just let her pretend none of this happened?
When she turned to pace back towards the front door, Marcus was suddenly there with his hands on her shoulders. “Lucy, take a breath.” He spoke softly.
She nodded, inhaled slowly, and reminded herself that she wasn’t just one person anymore.
He gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. “Good?”
“Yeah.”
There was a beat of silence. “Lucy, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Maybe she could play dumb her way out of this. “W-What do you think I’m saying?”
“That you have feelings for me.”
Well, nevermind.
She took in a deep breath before meeting his eyes, trying her best to not let her hormones get the best of her. Her eyes burned with unshed tears at the idea of him rejecting her, even if he did it nicely.
“Yeah, I think I do.” She whispered, feeling so small as she did so. “But…I understand that isn’t what you signed up for, so don’t worry about—”
“—Lucy,” he interrupted, his hands moving to cup her face. He let out an incredulous laugh, shaking his head slowly. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I have been trying so hard to not let you see that this has changed things for me. I didn’t want to make you upset, but I think maybe I got in over my head with this arrangement. I don’t know why I thought that I could do this without falling more in love with you than I already was.”
She felt a lightening bolt shoot through her. “Y-You’re in love with me?” she gasped, the tears she had been fighting back prickling the corners of her eyes.
“I think since the moment I met you.” He murmured, thumb brushing back and forth on the apple of her cheek.
She didn’t know how to respond to that. He’d been in love with her the entire time, and here she was trying to hide her feelings to spare him any awkwardness. She let out a small, surprised laugh before reaching up to grip the collar of his shirt to tug his lips down to hers.
His arms dropped to wind around her waist, pulling her body flush against his as he deepened the kiss.
This had gone much better than she had expected and while they’d need to have an actual conversation about whatever they were at some point, she was more than happy to take this moment for what it was. Talk could come later; they had plenty of time for that.
She started backing towards the hallway, pulling him with her.
“What about your pancakes?” he chuckled, his mouth still pressed against hers like he couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go.
“Screw the pancakes.”
They stumbled down the hallway, Lucy’s fingers beginning to undo the buttons on his shirt and his began pulling her blouse from where it was tucked in her pants. As they reached his bedroom, she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and then lifted her arms to allow him to pull hers over her head.
They both made quick work of their pants and then she’d barely gotten her bra off before he was kissing her again. He stepped forward, leading her back towards the bed like they were dancing. He broke away to pull the blankets back on the bed and then they tumbled onto the mattress as their legs tangled, both laughing in surprise.
“Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled as he did his best to not land right on top of her.
Instead of responding, she pulled his mouth back down to hers and moving her legs to wrap them around his hips, letting out a soft moan as his hips met hers and she felt his hardness press against where she was already throbbing.
They’d had a lot of sex, but this felt different. Maybe it was because of her hormones, or maybe it was because they’d just confessed their love for each other. There was always something more special about being intimate with someone she cared deeply about, and knowing he cared for her just the same made it even more special.
He grinded against her and they moaned into each other’s mouths at the feeling. Lucy reached down to tug at his briefs and he propped himself up on one hand to help her push them down his hips. Once they were low enough he could kick them off, he sat up on his knees and helped her pull her underwear down her legs before slinging them over his shoulder to disappear somewhere across the room.
Lucy couldn’t hold in the giggle that came out at that, and she shook her head at him. Yeah, this was the man she had fallen in love with.
Marcus leaned down to press kisses to her stomach, lingering for a second on her lower abdomen before trailing kisses up the valley between her breasts. His lips found the spot he knew she liked behind her ear as his body slotted against hers.
Lucy’s hands trailed down his sides, nails raking his skin lightly the way she knew he liked. He groaned against her skin, hips involuntarily grinding against hers on reflex. She reached between their bodies and took ahold of him, turning her head to capture his mouth as he moaned. She took that moment to position him at her entrance, waiting for him to press his hips forward to press his tip in before she let go. Her hand came up to thread through his hair, tugging lightly at the roots as he slid deeper inside.
She could never get over the feeling of him, and she was grateful he didn’t want this to end; she was pretty sure he’d ruined her wanting any other man inside her.
They moaned into the kiss as he sheathed himself fully. She expected him to keep going, but then he pulled back to look down at her, his hips unmoving.
Her brow furrowed. “You okay?” she asked, still breathless from the feeling of being full.
Marcus’s hand came up to brush a strand of hair off her face, eyes softening as he studied her features.
“Marcus?”
His thumb brushed over her lower lip as he took a deep breath. “I love you.” He murmured softly, his voice thick.
Lucy’s heart skipped in her chest. It was one thing to hear him say he had fallen in love with her, and another to have him look deeply in her eyes and say those three little words. They hit her like a freight train. The hand that had been tangled in his hair moved to cup his jaw. “I love you, too.” She whispered.
He gave her that big grin she loved so much and leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips, pulling back only far enough to lock eyes with her, his nose brushing against hers.
He shifted his hips, eyes never leaving hers as he pulled out and then pushed back in slowly. This wasn’t like they had done before; this wasn’t just sex.
They were making love.
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A/N: I know this probably felt finite, but I promise this is not the end! I just felt like that was the perfect end to part six, but I have more parts planned!
Tag List: Strikethrough means it wouldn't let me tag you.
The Arrangement: @moonlightburned @rebel-fanfare @supernaturalgirl20 @thevoiceinyourheadx @prideandpascal @nicolethered @littlemousedroid @theamuz @missminkylove @what-iwish-you-knew @amb11 @vanemando15 @paige96 @cleverusername027 @emilianamason @diaryofkali @thirddeadlysin @pedr0swh0r3 @we-were-owls
All current & future fics: @absurdthirst @sherala007 @athalien @hopeamarsu @adancedivasmom @gooddaykate @hotchlover @amneris21 @harriedandharassed @gzzzla
Please let me know if you want to be added or removed on the tag list or change your username in my tag list by visiting this link!
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runningmunson · 2 years ago
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Moments
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader Word Count: 622 Summary: Aemond is upset about the moments he misses with his daughter. Warnings: Slight angst, Dad!Aemond, fluff A/N: Im suppose to be writing another angsty fic but wrote this instead
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“You’ll never guess who took their first steps today. Oh, it was amazing!” You exclaimed to Aemond, recounting your day over dinner in your chambers as you did most nights.
His mood soured at your words. He wanted to share in your joy, but all he could feel was frustration and anger, not at you but at himself. These are the kinds of moments parents dream about, moments Aemond dreamed about, and he’s missing them one after another.
He missed over half of your pregnancy and the birth of your daughter entirely due to his brother sending him away on business for the crown. He never got the chance to relish in pride over the swell of your belly, feel the movement of your babe, or hear her first cries. Further, he missed the first time she smiled, the first time she was sick, the first word she spoke, and now the first time she walked.
“Aemond…” You spoke, breaking him from his thoughts.
“Hmm,” he tore his gaze from his plate and looked toward you.
“I asked if you were listening to me, but I see now that you were not,” you placed your cutlery down on the table and gave your husband your full attention.
“I’m sorry, my love. My thoughts brought me elsewhere for a moment,” he apologized, but you could see his tense jaw and lips pulled into a slight frown.
You pushed your chair back and knelt beside your husband, placing your hand on his knee, “What troubles you?”
“I seem to be missing more of our daughter’s life by the day. I can hardly even remember when she was a small babe, and now here she is walking,” he sighed.
“You are a prince, a son, a brother- to the king and queen of Westeros might I add, an uncle, a husband, and a father. You have many roles and a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders. No one expects you to be there for every new thing our daughter may do,” you reasoned and grabbed his hand.
Aemond turned his head away from you and looked out the window toward the setting sun. His knuckle turned white from how hard he was holding his cup, “I expect myself to be there for those things. What kind of father am I if I miss important moments in our children’s lives? I’m no better than my own father, I’ll tell you.”
“Who did she crawl to first? What was her first word? It was ‘pa’, if I do recall. Who does she cry for at night? Who has never failed to go and comfort her? Who will protect her every day of her life? Who will one day give her away at her wedding?” You questioned him, giving him a small smile, and squeezed his hand.
Aemond tilted his head back, pinched the bridge of his nose, and groaned, “Gods, don’t make me think about marrying her off already.”
“What I’m trying to say, dear husband, is that you are always there for her. You may miss moments, as will I, but that does not make us terrible parents. There are still many more to be made, many more that you will witness and celebrate, so do not fret. You are doing just fine,” you stood up and placed a kiss on his forehead.
“Thank you,” he whispered and met your gaze. You smiled at him and reached your hand out to him.
“Come now. She’s waiting for us. Let us go wish her a good night,” you dragged him toward your daughter's room. When the door opened, she greeted Aemond with a bright smile, arms in the air, and a soft ‘papa’ coming from her lips.
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Taglist: @wrendermeuseless , @darylandbethfanforever9 , @theekinslayer, @janelongxox, @1950schick
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drewsbuzzcut · 9 months ago
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The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Nick Moldenhauer x Dallas Blankenburg
A so it goes fic
Warnings: talks of abortions and pregnancy, some angst, talks of being married, and I think that’s all
Takes place shortly after this
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Dallas tosses and turns the entire night, Nick’s words playing over and over again in her head. There are so many emotions for her to sift through and it makes her feel more frustrated. A part of her understands why Nick reacted the way he did, but she’s also bothered by the way he simply pushed her away. They should’ve talked thoroughly instead of him going back to his dorm. They’re married, they should be communicating better.
The sound of Dallas’ front door unlocking reaches her ears. She knows it’s not Sienna as she’s spending the night with her boyfriend. It can only be one person, Nick. He’s the only other person who has a key.
She turns her back to the door, pretending that she’s deep in sleep when she’s really deep in her mind. She tries to still her breathing as she hears him enter her bedroom. The smell of his body wash and shampoo wafts in the air and to her nose, it fills her with a semblance of comfort.
Nick softly drapes another blanket over her body, knowing that she runs cold at night. She hears him fill her water bottle with ice and water, ready for her to drink when she first wakes up. She must’ve been too distracted when she got home, because she’ll usually remember to fill it up. The bed dips next to her and she freezes. Eventually Nick adjusts over all of the blankets on the bed. He then presses a kiss to the back of her head, debating if he should wake her up. Nick stares up at the ceiling, thinking back to every single moment they’ve ever shared. He doesn’t want to lose her, but he won’t force her to stay.
“Dallas,” he whispers when he decides he can no longer wait.
Dallas feels tears spring to her eyes at the use of her middle name. If they are ever arguing, he won’t call her June just to not cross any more boundaries.
She debates whether she should answer him or continue to “sleep.”
“Nick,” she says. She knows that they have to talk. It can no longer be postponed.
“I’m sorry. For everything. I was being an asshole when I should’ve been supporting you. I shouldn’t have shamed you for thinking about your future, unlike me who’s being careless. I just want to do everything with you. I want everything with you. This is the first time I’ve ever felt like this, so I guess I don’t really know how to respond to it. That’s just an excuse, though. No matter what, I should be supporting you. I shouldn’t have gotten mad. I’m so sorry. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And you’re right, we just got married so we need to focus on our marriage. I don’t want to break up, Dallas, but I do understand if you no longer want to be with me,” the second those last few words leave his mouth, Dallas is immediately turning towards him with tears streaming down her face.
“I don’t doubt your love for me, so don’t go thinking that. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to stay. I mean you were hesitant about getting married so young in the first place. Maybe you’re right. As much as it kills me to say this-“
“So don’t say it,” Dallas finally breaks her silence. She sits up, her comforter pooling around her waist as she looks down at her lap.
“I have to, Dallas. This is serious. I don’t want you to be married to me if you’re not ready. I’m not saying breakup. I’m just saying that maybe we should annul our marriage. When we’re both ready, then we can consider getting married again,” he finishes, big, teary eyes staring back at her.
“You scare me. So much. You’re the first real relationship I’ve had, so all of this is still so new to me. I actually feel like I’m behind in our relationship. You love me so hard, and that’s not a bad thing. I just feel like I haven’t shown my love clearly or fiercely. I love you so much, and I do eventually want a family with you. I’m just not ready right now. Who knows, maybe I’ll be ready in a year. I just wish you could see my side of things and not flip out on me. I get that you’re upset, but I don’t want to fight with you,” she cries with her hands hiding her face. She hates crying- even more in front of him.
“I’m sorry. This is all new to me, too. I’ve had relationships, but none of them were real. Not like this. You scare me, too, you know? At any time you can just leave me. You’re the one thing I can’t live without, so I’d be ruined. If you still want to be with me, I’ll show you that I’ll always support you. I’ll be by your side through anything. I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing for all my wrongs,” he whispers tearfully.
“Stop speaking as if our marriage is over. I didn’t marry you because I felt like I had to. I want to be married to you. I truly feel that I’m ready for our lives together. I would never leave you, Nick. Not unless you gave me a reason to. I just want you to understand that today was really bad. I needed you and you felt so far away. I’m sorry that I didn’t consider your feelings, that was wrong of me. We should’ve had a conversation about the potential pregnancy and how we’d navigate through it, but I was scared. I was scared about the possibility of having a baby and I needed you to fall back on,” she speaks through broken sobs and stuttered breaths. There’s a heavy weight sitting on her chest and it keeps pushing her further under.
“You’re making it seem like I can’t voice my emotions for the sake of being there for you when you need me to. I can’t hold it in, Dallas. You know that’s not healthy.”
She shakes her head with her eyes shut. He doesn't understand what she’s saying.
“No. Tell me how you feel, but don’t throw a temper tantrum. I just want us to be able to talk about our emotions and be there for each other. I don’t want things to be one sided,” she explains, finally looking at him.
“I tried talking to you. You just immediately agreed on abortion as if we both decided that was the best decision. Please don’t think that I think you’re a terrible person for thinking about abortion. It’s a valid choice and an understandable one. I just wanted us to talk about it more rather than you deciding on things by yourself. Yeah, I was being pushy about having a baby, but that’s because I know we can handle it. Or at least I thought we could.”
“I wasn’t trying to ignore your input. But at the end of the day, I did and that’s something I have to work on. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I just want us to work towards better communication. We both have goals, Nick. Ones that won’t allow us to have more distractions than what we already have. We aren’t ready for a baby. Not mentally. I’m really sorry I pushed you to the side,” Dallas reaches out to caress his cheek, her thumb catching all of his tears.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there in the way you needed me to be,” he apologizes again, gripping her wrist so she won’t disappear.
“I love you and I’m glad we’re married. I’m glad you’re my husband,” she leans her forehead against his, her chest feeling a little lighter.
“I love you, June.” Dallas smiles at the use of her first name.
“Can we talk more in the morning? I’m sleepy,” she pushes him to lie down flat and cuddles into his side.
“Of course. I’m glad you’re my wife. I’m glad we’re talking and not fighting. You mean the world to me, so I need to start acting like it,” he says, still haunted by the way he’s been treating his girl as if they aren’t married. As if she isn’t the most special person in his life.
“Stop. This argument didn’t make me feel less or less unloved by you. It just made me realize that we have a lot to discuss, and as long as we talk honestly, we’ll be fine. We’re young and we still have a lot of mistakes to make, but we’ll have each other- as cheesy as that sounds. I’m going to have your babies, Moldenhauer! I’m going to be your wife for as long as we shall live and in the afterlife, I hope you’re ready,” she states, leaning closer and wrapping her limbs around him.
“I’m ready, Moldenhauer,” he finally pulls her into a kiss, one that’s warm and full of love.
The crushing weight that had been sitting on Dallas’ chest and on Nick’s heart, finally dissipates into an ache. It doesn’t cause pain, but it still lingers to remind them of what they will be continually working towards.
a/n: There’s still angst to come😭 but tomorrow is Dallas’ bday, so we can have a little Nick and Dallas day!!
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musings-of-a-rose · 2 years ago
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Can I have "I'm so proud of you" with Benny 🥺
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Proud of You
Pairing: Benny Miller x wife! “Sparks”” Miller
Word Count: 900+
Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!
Warnings: This fic will deal with pregnancy, labor, and childbirth. Nothing terrible or extremely descriptive. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 
Notes: I saw this ask and immediately thought of my 2 babies from Light Me Up. I miss the hell out of those 2 and will always be down to write little snippets or one shots. Obviously spoilers if you haven’t read the fic!
**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!
❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)
**Reader is not described
Main Masterlist
Benny Miller Masterlist
Light Me Up Masterlist
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!!!SPOILERS FOR LIGHT ME UP IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT!!!
You'd been feeling weird all day. Not bad, per say, but just off. Like something was just not quite right. When you'd finally had enough, you pulled out your phone to call the doctor. 
And then your water broke. 
It wasn't like the movies, no giant gush that soaked the floor. But you'd felt a small pop and your underwear got really wet really fast. 
"Benny?" You call out, a little afraid to move. 
"Sparks?" Benny comes around the corner quickly, hearing the nervous tone in your voice. He looks at you and the growing wet spot on your leggings and his eyes grow wide. 
"Is it time?" He asks, rushing to you side and placing one hand on your back and one on your round belly. 
"Everyone says to wait a bit at home. 4-1-1, remember? Contractions 4 minutes apart, lasting for 1 minute, and consistently for 1 hour?" 
Benny's eyes fill with concern. "Y-yeah. Are you sure? We can go no-"
You shake your head. "No. Just, let me start to get dressed and see how I feel in a bit. I'd rather labor here than the hospital."
Your first born had other plans. 
Within the hour, you were climbing into the car, Benny keeping very calm and collected, like he was in mission mode. Which you guess, he was. Luckily, traffic wasn't an issue and you pulled up to the hospital fairly quickly. Benny helps you out and a nurse comes out with a wheelchair, asking you to sit and they'll wheel you back to triage. 
Benny grabs the bags and tosses his keys at the valet, following behind you. You get booked in and are pacing in a triage room, your contractions coming closer together. Benny was there for every one, putting counter pressure on your hips, helping you to breathe through them, telling you how amazing and strong you were and that you could do this. 
When the nurse finally comes to finish triage, she checks you and immediately transfers you to labor and delivery. Benny drops your bags and is by your side in an instant, helping you through a really intense contraction, dabbing at your forehead as you come down. 
“You are so strong, baby. You got this.”
The contractions were coming closer together and getting more intense. You’d done the courses on pain management and, while they help, you could feel your mental strength slipping. Benny seems to sense this and immediately starts showering you with quiet praise and awe. He holds you while you stand, swaying like you’re doing a slow dance with your arms above your head, crossed and resting on his broad chest. 
Then something changes, your body telling you it was time to push. Following your body, you get on all fours on the bed, Benny rubbing your back and speaking affirmations in your ear, reminding you to breathe your baby out, not push. Several minutes later, your body pushes on it’s own and your son, Emmett, comes screaming into the world, right into Benny’s hands. Taking a deep breath, you turn around, laying on your back and pushing sweaty hair from your face as you see Benny holding your son, covered in what Benny calls “baby guck”, and tears just streaming down his face as he talks to him. 
“Hey little guy! I’m your dad. I’m so happy to finally meet you!”
He walks around the bed and hands Emmett to you, a little slippery from the baby guck, and you clutch him to your chest, crying as you take in his tiny features, counting his little fingers and toes. 
“Hi Emmett. It’s mom. It’s nice to see you on the outside.” 
The midwife calls Benny to cut the cord and he does, back by your head a moment later. Emmett latches to you pretty quickly, taking his first sips as he cuddles against your bare skin. Benny puts his finger under your chin and turns your head up to him. 
“I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, Sparks.”
He leans in an kisses you, both of you turning to watch little Emmett a few moments later. The nurses finish up their prep, taking Emmett to weigh him and check him over before returning him to you and leaving the room. 
“Benny?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ll take that steak dinner now.”
Benny laughs, already moving to grab his keys. 
“You can have whatever you want, my beautiful wife.”
—----
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romana-after-dark · 1 year ago
Text
The Wrong Way: Chapter 8
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Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)
Masterlist
Spotify playlist
Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?
Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction
WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!
I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...
The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.
5k words (sorry not sorry lol)
Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!
Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.
Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.
Thats my bad for not being clear!
Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)
***************
Month 3
No one warned you about morning sickness. 
You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up. 
Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?
The birth was something you tried not to think about.
So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.
“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.
With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead. 
“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”
The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”
“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”
You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”
“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.
“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.
His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”
You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you. 
As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”
Month 4
“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.
“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?
“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”
He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?” 
“Renzo.”
“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”
You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”
Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”
You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”
He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”
“C’mon, just tell me.”
Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”
Oh. “Wait… really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Ah. Okay then.”
There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”
Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming. 
Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”
“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears. 
“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.
“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”
You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”
“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”
With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home. 
“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”
“AAAHHHHH!”
Month 5
Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl. 
“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t
Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”
“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”
You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.
A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.
“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”
Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”
But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.
Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.
That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names. 
“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”
Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned. 
You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”
“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.
“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.
“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.” 
He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.
You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.
“I like it, bebita.” 
You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name. 
“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.
“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck.  “Anything you want?”
You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.
Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”
Month 6 
Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face. 
“Will you shut up?”
“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.
“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”
“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”
“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”
“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”
With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”
Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”
“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”
Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”
Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.
“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”
That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you. 
“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”
“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away. 
“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”
You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.” 
Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”
“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”
“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”
Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”
“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”
“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”
“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”
You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…
You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.
Month 7
“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.
“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand. 
“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm. 
Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”
Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”
“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.
Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options. 
Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”
At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”
“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.
Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”
“Her water hasn’t broke yet!” 
“Is she dilated?”
“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”
“Well check!”
“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”
“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”
“You know more than me!”
“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”
“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”
“What are you talking about?”
“So you’d rather let her just die?”
“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”
“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”
There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”
As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.
Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned.  The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.
Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism. 
You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.
“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”
You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”
You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.
“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”
A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”
But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”
“The take me, little one, take me” 
You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.
“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”
Wife.
Wife.
Wife?!
You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife… 
“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”
You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…
But it suddenly struck you
You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible. 
“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.
You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.
One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”
You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.
Month 8
“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”
You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance. 
“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.
“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”
“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress
“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”
Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”
But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”
He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear. 
“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”
“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.
The panic begins to set it.
“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.
Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”
He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.
“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.
Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong. 
You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say. 
Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.
****************
YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!
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Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.
Who wanna guess what happens!
Only two chapters left!
For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore
Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3
Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!
for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.
no poll today, sorry!
MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den
@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy
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benwvatt · 2 years ago
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my recent kataang fics!
hi! I’ve written a few kataang stories recently and would love to share them. AO3 links included! And there are more fics under the “read more.”
my darling, how long do you want to be loved? is forever enough? is a rated-G oneshot about the two of them bonding over Katara’s pregnancy.
Katara laughs and buries her head in the crook of Aang’s neck. In bed, he’s been tracing lazy figure eights across the small of her back. “How did we get here?”
“Well, we left the Earth King’s party after thirty-seven minutes-”
Still laughing. Aang can feel her head shake against his chest, like a magnolia raining leaves in a storm. He wants to close his eyes as long as possible and memorize the ebbs and flows of her joy, the imprints it makes in the air.
“Oh, right! And we stole dumplings,” Katara adds gently, “wrapped in napkins in my purse! I’ll never get the grease stains out.” If only oil and water were similar, she could lift the marks with a swish of her hand.
“I guess you’ll just have to use regular ol’ soap and water. Like a peasant.”
“Like a fool!”
in reverence, my cup runneth over for you is a rated-T one-shot about Katara and Aang dancing in their kitchen.
They will raise children here someday. Aang wants a daughter with whom to dance in the kitchen. Together they will shift, clumsy under skeins of moonlight; he’ll toddle around, practicing steps by letting their girl stand on his feet. She will teach him the extra-extra-cool dance moves, picked up from magazines or some technology not yet invented, because grown-ups simply don’t understand.
Aang kisses Katara. Oh, she is going to be the rest of his life. The sheer notion of this runs through his mind like a horse unbridled.
“I love the kitchen,” she finally murmurs, hugging him closer. “No need to worry, not with me.”
He already knew, but a reminder never hurts.
He talks to her about the wilder dreams (not wildest, for those have already come true) and they waltz over dusty floorboards that leave speckles on the bottoms of their shoes. The kitchen will be furnished another time. Tonight is for dancing.
you’ve got me more than clumsy, but you’re my yellow lovely is a fluffy rated-G oneshot about Katara taking care of Aang while he’s sick. 
“Honey,” Aang murmurs, two full syllables this time. Voicing anything hurts at the moment 一 he’s taken ill this week 一 but he has to catch her attention. “Katara.”
She groans. “Yeah?”
“You gotta go. I - I’m gonna get you sick if you stay any longer.”
Her head shakes ‘nope’ and Aang can feel the brush of her hair against his neck. You could hear a pin drop. Even the crickets have ceased chirping tonight.
“I’m not fun to be around.”
“That’s a lie,” she whispers. “Can I kiss you?” He’s been trying not to get her sick all week, and she ought to ask before moving any closer.
“I miss you.” Aang wraps his arms around her and leans in. “I don’t think I should kiss you. Germs. Disease. Y’know, plague and death.”
“How did we get to death?”
i’d paint a river of stars for you (cross the ocean sapphire blue) is a romantic AU about Kataang getting together in the South Pole, set in a world where the war never happened and Aang routinely visits Katara and he’s super in love with her. Rated T!
Aang looks down at her hand. She’s still wearing the friendship bracelet he wove for her out of linengrass.
He wants, not for the first time, to press his hand to her face and kiss her. He wonders if her cheeks would be cold against his. Hasn’t ever been close enough to check. Aang moves his thumb an inch until it’s over hers.
He looks at her. Is this okay?
Moonbeams wash into the bedroom through the ice. She might be blushing but he can’t quite tell.
Do you want this? Do you want me? he tries to communicate with his gaze. He was never very good at this. Monks are taught to let go of desire, not harbor it deep inside.
when the ice forgives is an AU in the works. In which, post-series, Kya is discovered sleeping in an iceberg and Katara’s whole family bond over the discovery that she’s alive. Katara & Aang are also engaged in this story and they’re very sweet.
“Were you preparing something in the kitchen?” Aang asked. He’d slept in, and he was hungry.
“I… might have been.” She pursed her lips for a moment, then let the grin wash away any hint of neutrality on her face. “Okay, there’s some baozi. And I was wondering if you wanted to eat hot pot for lunch? That was, uh, the noise you heard.”
She was so comforting. Everything about it, from her culinary plans to her one morning cup of tea, stolen from him, was predictable. He loved her. He told her, and they curled into the bed. Katara laid down, absentmindedly stroking her thumb across Aang’s cheekbone, and reminded him he was a sap. An honest, lovable one, but still.
“I like you,” she whispered. The words hung in the white, almost silver, morning light. They were predictable too, and Aang couldn’t get enough of them. “I like you very much.”
He kept his gaze on her and ran his thumb over the curve of her eyebrow, down her cheek until he was tracing her bottom lip. “You’re so…” and he kissed her before saying, “special. I didn’t think I could meet somebody like you. Someone so uncommonly kind.”
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youngpettyqueen · 9 months ago
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Hi! So I feel selfish since I've already requested a fic from you, but since you posted that new prompt list, could you please do #10 from The Comforter list? I don't care who says it as long as they are saying it to Julian! ❤️
anon I love youuuu <333 never be shy about asking me for fics I will happily take 695876934 requests from you
so 10 from the comforter list is... "You're only going to make it worse by not resting." and I love that and I love it applied to Julian
I decided to spread the Miles/Keiko/Julian agenda with this one- hope that's alright! this is set sometime nebulously before Keiko's pregnancy with Kirayoshi, so sometime in s3 maybe?
anyways! please enjoy <3
It was only a matter of time before something like this happened.
The station's been dealing with an outbreak of Bajoran Red Fever. It's a nasty sickness, not fatal in most cases, but it can be pretty dangerous for younger children. It's also a pain in the ass to try to kick; the main symptoms being sky-high fever, dizziness and severe weakness, nausea, and some nasty joint pain. Luckily for the non-Bajoran occupants of DS9, it's a disease that really only affects Bajorans. There have only been a handful of non-Bajorans who have ever caught the diseases.
Unluckily, Julian is one of those non-Bajorans.
"How'd he even get it?" Miles asks, still trying to wrap his head around this whole thing, "I thought non-Bajoran cases were something like one in a million- that's what he was always saying, at least."
Nurse Jabara, wearing a face mask over her mouth and nose, gives a tired shrug as she rubs her temple. "The odds were slim, but not impossible. If I had to guess, I'd say the constant, repeated exposure on top of not nearly enough rest probably did it," She pinches the bridge of her nose, grimacing like she has a headache, "Whatever the case, he has it."
Keiko looks up from where she's checking the medkit Jabara gave her. "You said he fainted, right?" She asks. Jabara nods, so she follows up, "Did he hurt himself? Do we have to worry about, I don't know, a concussion? Anything like that?"
"No," Jabara confirms, and Keiko breathes a sigh of relief, "Lucky for him, Nurse T'Strei has great reflexes, and caught him before he fell. Speaking of which, she's probably not having a great time trying to keep him in bed," She gives Miles a look that is so, so very tired, "We've had patients coming in all morning. You can imagine how he's taking being laid up."
"Say no more," Miles doesn't need to imagine- he knows Julian will be about beside himself, "We'll take him off your hands. You said those shots you gave us will protect us from the fever?" He checks.
"You're as close to immune as you can be," Jabara nods, "There's one in there for Molly, too, just in case you can't keep her away from him. Believe me, asking your family to do this wasn't my first choice, but we aren't exactly blessed with options," She sighs, "Everybody who is resistant to the fever is busy working overtime to make up for everybody who's down with it, and I can't put him with anybody who's susceptible to infection. Commander Dax tried to insist, but joined Trill can contract the fever, and it could be deadly to her and the symbiont, and-"
"Jabara," Keiko steps in, places a gentle hand on the nurse's arm to stop her rambling, "It's ok. We'll take care of him." She reassures her.
Jabara pauses. Takes a deep breath. "Thank you," She breathes, "It's been... certainly one of the longer mornings of my career. Let me take you to him before T'Strei decides to sedate him." She says.
"If she hasn't already." Miles cracks, which earns him a nudge in the ribs from Keiko.
They follow after Jabara as she leads them further into the infirmary. It's pretty busy, mostly full of Bajorans, and all of them are masked up. The only people not masked up are non-Bajorans, though Miles notices that a few of the human staff are wearing masks. Probably since their human Chief Medical Officer went and got himself infected.
Speaking of the devil, it doesn't take long to find him. They just have to follow the sound of the arguing.
"This is hardly necessary."
"You are not presently fit to deem what is necessary."
Jabara stops, and gestures for them to go ahead into a separate area. Miles and Keiko both nod to her, and continue on.
Miles has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the scene they walk into. Because, sure, he's worried about Julian. Of course he is. But it's also very funny to see Julian lying on a biobed, with T'Strei sitting beside him and effortlessly keeping him pinned down to said bed with one hand on his chest.
"I have patients," Julian is insisting, even though he looks half-dead himself, "I have to finish my morning rounds, and then I need to-"
"If you can push me off," T'Strei cuts in, sounding like she's said this a million times over, "Then you can go."
"That is so not fair." Julian pouts.
Miles decides now is the moment to clear his throat and announce his presence. Both Julian and T'Strei look over at him, though he directs his attention to Julian. "Julian," He says, crossing his arms over his chest, "Are you disobeying doctor's orders?"
"Yes." T'Strei replies flatly.
"I'm the doctor," Julian huffs, indignant, "I give the orders."
"Which you are not following," T'Strei points out. She looks at Miles, "I assume you both are here to collect him?" She asks.
Keiko steps closer. "We are," She confirms. She's got a much more gentle touch than T'Strei and Miles do, bless her, as she goes and puts a gentle hand on Julian's cheek, "Nurse Jabara called us. How are you feeling?" She asks.
It's like a magic trick- Miles watches as all the defiance drains right out of Julian's expression, melted away by the simple touch of Keiko's hand. With all his defiance goes all his energy, and all the colour in his face. God, he looks awful- pale under his skin, and his eyes too-bright with fever.
"I'm alright," Julian tells Keiko, in a raspy voice that's anything but alright, "Honestly, Keiko, you didn't need to come."
Miles and T'Strei exchange a can you believe this bullshit look.
"Liar," Keiko accuses gently. She brings her hand up to his forehead, presses the backs of her knuckles against his pale skin, "You're burning up, Julian. You're not well. You need rest." She insists.
"Which is exactly what you're gonna get," Miles puts in, stepping over to join Keiko at Julian's bedside, "You're comin' home with us. That way, we can keep an eye on you. Make sure you actually get some rest, which we all know you're not gonna be gettin' in here." He explains.
"Oh, I- I couldn't ask you to do that," Julian says, looking as pathetic as a puppy in the rain, "I could get you sick, and what about Molly? I couldn't-"
"We got our shots done," Miles interrupts, "And we have one for Molly, too. So, no arguing," He looks up at T'Strei, "We can take him from here, Lieutenant. We'll get him outta your hair."
"Human expression." Julian says quietly, as T'Strei frowns at the statement. Then she nods, and takes her hand away, stepping back to let Miles and Keiko each grab an arm and gently ease Julian up into a sitting position.
"Thank you, Chief," T'Strei bids, "Mrs. O'Brien," She nods to Keiko, "If he gives you any trouble, do not hesitate to call. I can be available for assistance very quickly." She gives Julian a pointed look as she says that last part.
"I'm sure we can handle him," Keiko says as they get Julian off the biobed and onto wobbly legs. Miles is inclined to agree with her, considering Julian's already leaning heavily into his shoulder, the act of standing up apparently a significant drain on his energy, "C'mon, Julian, let's get you home. I've got everything you need right here." She shows him the medkit.
"Computer," Miles summons, seeing no point in dragging Julian through the long walk, "Three to transport to Chief O'Brien's quarters. Energize."
Miles wraps his arm tight around Julian's waist to hold him upright through the transport. One second they're in the infirmary, the next they're in the living room. Julian sways slightly, wobbling, and Keiko puts a hand on his chest to help steady him.
"Easy does it, Julian," She murmurs, starting to guide him towards the couch, "You poor thing, what made you think you could work like this? You're barely standing." She admonishes, her voice laced with concern.
Julian doesn't answer until they get him sitting down. He doesn't so much lean back as he does fall back against the cushions, his eyes glassy and unfocused. "I had patients," He mumbles, blinking a few times- dizzy, probably, "I couldn't just leave them."
Miles takes a seat beside him. Keiko does the same thing on his other side. "You've got a perfectly competent medical staff who are more than capable of runnin' the ship while you're away," He points out, "How long have you been sick? Honestly. Cause somehow I doubt this started today." He hasn't actually seen Julian in days. Their usual holosuite date got cancelled due to the outbreak, so he hasn't been able to keep an eye on him.
Julian frowns, squinting as he thinks. "I don't know," He replies, and he sounds like he means it, "Maybe a couple days ago. It's... hard to keep track." He admits.
Keiko gently rubs her hand up and down his arm. "Julian," She says, in that soft voice of hers that could melt ice, "When was the last time you slept?" She asks.
There's the million dollar question. That's always the first thing Julian starts to go without- sleep. Like he thinks he's superhuman, and can just keep on going without it. Miles has known him to go days at a time without a wink of shuteye. He wouldn't be surprised if this is one of those times.
Julian looks at Keiko. "I don't know," He tells her, his voice very quiet, "I... I honestly don't know."
Even Miles can't keep up his usual attitude when Julian's like this. He sounds so goddamn tired and he looks even worse, with those big doe eyes of his all sad and pathetic.
"It's alright, Julian," He finds himself saying, a whole lot softer than he usually is, "Molly's got a big party all day, she won't be back till tomorrow. So you'll have plenty of time to catch up on your sleep here." He gives his hand a reassuring pat.
"You're only going to make it worse by not resting," Keiko adds, bringing her hand up to his cheek, "I know resting doesn't come easy to you, but promise me you'll at least try, ok?" She rubs her thumb affectionately over his cheekbone, "Promise me you'll let us take care of you?" She implores him.
Miles knows this game of Keiko's well. Nobody is immune to it. He's over here melting, and he's not even her target. Sure enough, Julian is cracking a smile. A small one, weak and watery, but a smile nonetheless.
"That's cheating," He accuses, his voice gone soft, "You know I can't say no when you do that."
Keiko gives him a smile of her own, a smile that could rival a sunrise. "That's exactly why I do it." She teases. Then she leans in, and gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
If Julian's face wasn't already flushed with fever, he's certainly blushing now, his cheeks going deep cherry red. "Miles." He says.
"Yeah?" Miles asks.
"I'm running away with your wife." Julian informs him, which makes Keiko snort and laugh.
"Not without me, you're not," Miles chuckles, giving Julian a playful nudge, careful to keep it light so he doesn't accidentally knock him over, "You can try that once you're all better. Until then, I'm not lettin' you outta my sight till you're better, ya hear?"
Julian looks over at him, still blushing, still smiling. "Loud and clear," He hums, "Do you have a kiss to go with that statement, or do I have to ask Keiko for another?"
Miles rolls his eyes. Keiko giggles. "At least you can still be obnoxious," He huffs. Even so, he does lean in and give Julian a quick peck on the temple, "There. Only cause you're sick." He tells him.
Julian's smile broadens into something resembling a grin. "You love me." He teases.
"Yes," Keiko leans in, gives Julian another kiss, this one landing high on his cheekbone, "We love you. And because we love you, we're going to take care of you," She gives Julian's shoulder a pat, "So you just lay back, and let us do the worrying for once, alright?"
Julian looks between them. And it's a subtle shift, but that mischievous grin softens, and turns into something much more affectionate and sincere. "I love you, too." He says to both of them, all sap and sweetness.
"Yeah, you're alright." Miles says, which gets him a laugh from Julian and an indignant swat from Keiko. What can he say, he's never been the best with all this sappy stuff.
Besides, they both know how he feels. He doesn't have to say it. He's never had to say it. They just know.
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popcornforone · 1 year ago
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The Alphabet Song
A Frankie “Catfish” Morales Fan Fic
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Happy Freaky Frankie Friday Peoples! Was going to post another chapter of Javi Gutierrez today (still might) but after hearing a conversation at work I decided to take that conversation & it was initially going to be a short but here we are… I hope you enjoy it. You all loved my other Frankie story.
Synopsis: Like all Toddlers they obsess over hearing the same songs over & over again, but one afternoon Frankie suggests you both write your own versions of the song that been driving you both insane.
Word Count: 2600
Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Established relationship, Unprotected PIV sex, mentions of alcohol & drugs & missions, swearing, mention of pregnancy, irritation, but a lot of fluff & sweetness until the sex gets going.
As always that’s for the read peoples it’s always appreciated
Your little girl loves bouncing to music & giggles & laughs at it too. She has definitely got her smile & love for life from you but she got her big brown eyes & curls from her daddy. But neither of you are sure how she’s picked up the alphabet so quickly.
She’s 3 in 2 months time & yet the second you put on the alphabet song about animals & plants she babbles it back at you both. She bounces & coos & makes little animal noises especially when it gets to d is for dog. She obviously recognises dog as your Labrador & try’s to mimic him or if he’s near, hug him when it gets to that point. This song & random video is driving Frankie & you insane though. You knew this would eventually happen with a song or a film at some point, but whenever the alphabet song is over she wants it on again & again. It’s starting to make you both go a little bit crazy.
“If I have to hear Q is for Queen Bee like Beyoncé & a bad child friendly version of all the single ladies again” Frankie comments one night after you’ve put her to bed & he’s done the washing up “I might just bombard Beyoncé with that video”. “Woooo Frankie” you laugh “it’s not Beyoncé’s fault she’s mentioned in the song” you say as you go into the lounge & grab the remote for a night of netflix & actual proper tv which isn’t just kids stuff. “I know I know, but then it gets weird that song, it’s like they wanted to make it as irritating for parents as possible” Frankie brings over a bag of nuts for you both to snack on, as you try & stay awake & not fall asleep on the sofa.
“You should just be so happy she’s picking the alphabet up so quickly baby” you say as you finally find that sexy intense new short series for you to watch together. You are secretly hoping it puts you both in the mood to start trying for a sibling for your little girl. “I know my love. Our little munchkin is so clever already, she’s gonna really go places later on in life” “just as long as she doesn’t fall for a handsome pilot & all the drama that comes with them, that’s fine by me” you chuckle & turn your head as Frankie sits beside you. Those big brown eyes making you remember that you are two people in love, not just coexisting. His kiss is one of relief that he finally has some alone time with you, & the way his hand trails around your neck makes you moan. “I’m guessing we’re not even going to get to watching episode 2 tonight then frankie?” You ask as you kiss him back & remove his hat so your hands can run through his curls “well it’s Netflix & chill my love right?” He winks with his reply before his kisses turn into something more.
Two weeks later & you’ve got some friends around for a toddler play date, when Frankie arrives home early from work. You & the other mums are all moaning about that alphabet song & how it’s good for the kids but so strange. You suddenly get a message from Frankie, who has gone into the shed to repair his bike, but heard your conversation as he walked past.
*why don’t we write our own alphabet song, just for us one night?
Thats what the message reads. You smirk at it, thinking about all the nice things you could put in it that remind you of Frankie & your life before secret missions, babies & stupid songs that neither of you can get out of your head.
*let’s both write one, about what we miss. Are you up for that😉
Your reply is instantly met with Frankies own response
*Friday for the reveal?
You send 👍🏼 & you return back to your play date. Crackers are everywhere across your carpet knowing that for weeks to come you will be hoovering this up after trying to control it with 4 under the age of 5 right now.
Friday night arrives very quickly. Most of the week you’ve added stuff to your alphabet, for things you miss doing with Frankie or things you are now grateful that you have with him. The plan is to sit down tonight with a Chinese & some wine & read them to each other once the meal is over. However this is the one night your little girl decides to act up. Waking up with a nightmare, wanting daddy cuddles, wanting the alphabet song. Your romantic evening has been scuppered by one or the other of you having to go & sort something out, just at the point each time when thing start to get moving. Finally at about 11pm it’s all settled down & you both slump onto your bed exhausted & change into your jammies.
“Sorry Frankie, she knows how to pick her nights doesn’t she?” You groan as you put on of Frankies oversized T-shirts on as a night dress, which just about covers your arse. It’s dark green & has some orange writing on it that has faded. Frankie is in his bottoms, blue & white stripe clown trousers you call them because the legs are far too wide. “The night not a total loss baby, we can still read each other the alphabets we wrote, technically reading in bed is good for you”. You laugh at this. In the 5 years you have been in a relationship with Frankie not once has he ever attempted to read in bed, in fact other than mission documents, you don’t think you’ve seen him read anything at all.
“Do we want to read them outloud or…” “yes” Frankie interrupts you straight away “rock paper scissors for who gets to pick if they go first?” You nod & you win. “I want to read mine first Frankie, mainly because if I get emotional at yours I don’t want to be a wreck reading mine” you grab your phone & scroll through your notes. “I’m glad to hear that because I was going to ask you to go first as well” he leans onto his pillow & faces you with a softening tired smile. Those curls so untamed that you just want to spend the whole night with your hands exploring every strand as he makes love to you. “Okay baby, here’s my catfish alphabet”. You sit up straight & smile as your eyes catch each other. He’s like a kid at Christmas waiting to see what Santa has brought him.
A is for Amore my true love
B is for Barcelona & our secret escape
C is for Catfish what else could I pick
D is for Drugs the ones you no longer take
E is Eternity what you promised me when we wed
F is for Father which you are to our
G is for Girl your most precious prize in our world
H is for Home which each time you leave I hope you return
I is for Ice Skating which you still can’t do
J is for Jakarta our Honeymoon
K is for Kills remember you promised no more
L is for Lost how we both felt before we met each other
M is for Mojito our favourite cocktail which we had to many of on that night
(Frankie laughs at that the memory of the night & the hang over making him smile)
N is for Notting Hill our favourite date night movie
O is for your eyes Only
(You wink at Frankie at this point & he is just beaming at delight from what he’s heard so far, his eyes welling up as you read)
P is for Pope who gave the best best man speech ever
Q is for Queen Bee because it had to be
(Frankie laughs & you try to keep going but you giggle as you deliver the r )
R is for rough how despite what you think I like I actually prefer you take me like that
S is for Standard your hat your mask but it covers your curls I adore
T is for Timing not your strongest attribute but you always get it right
U is for Unicorn which you said you would get our little girl
V is for the violets you brought me before you got on one knee
W is for Winter when it was cold while you are away
X is for eXcited “oooh no don’t interrupt me Frankie, I’m taking poetic license here” when I know your safe & coming home
Y is for You my husband my man my Frankie
Z is for zzzzz the sleep noise you make when you snore which I adore.
Your finished. You properly look at Frankie who has tears dripping down his face & before you can put your phone down on the bed side table he is hoovering over you, giving you the sweetest most loving kiss in the world. “Did that work baby?” You asks in amongst heavy breathing & feeling every nerve on your body come to life from being touched by your husband. “More than you could ever know baby”. He says in hushed tones. His right hand on your cheek stroking back your hair as his lips make contact. His left hand is squeezing another cheek, before it come back to the front to caress your thigh. You don’t even think, as you trail your own hands through his curls before going for those broad shoulders. His kisses & your words have unlocked your passion for each other as you groan beneath Frankie.
He makes quick work of his tshirt your wearing & you help him to shimmy off his Jammie trousers down the Bed, as he starts teasing your entrance waiting for the exact moment to make you feel every inch of the woman you are. “Frankie” you utter as you wrap your legs around him & he slowly goes pasts your entrance & you gasp at the felling of him filling you up. He shuts his eyes for a brief moment as he breaches your core, & a noise of lust & bliss escapes his perfect lips as he feels you. “Oooh baby, I love you” Frankie says as he opens his eyes & his hips do what they do best.
It’s slow & steady as his large hands play with your sensitive breasts. Your teasing your clit to make sure your cum in a few minutes time. As Frankie pours praise on you, you just moan his name back at him. He’s rendered you speechless with his slow, seductive thrusts inside you, every inch of him dragging you further along in both his spell over you, & approaching your climax. “Frankie” “oooh baby” & “yessss” are the only words in your vocabulary right now. Frankies panting interrupts each word he says in his breathy state as he looks down at you”yes baby just like this, you feel so good” each movement he makes he feels his own release growing. It’s not like you don’t have sex, it’s just never quite as sensual & as needy as tonight’s, as both your hands continue to explore each others bodies. A sweaty mess you might both look, but it’s one made from desire & love.
Frankie always makes sure your happy, that your moans are enough, he wants to make sure that as you reach your high you fall over the edge, that you are in a state of pure bliss, lost in your own world. He knows your body so well & knows that the slightest changes in his movement be it his hand or his penis inside you, will produce a different expression on your face. With each change he falls even more in love with you, not that he thinks that is possible. “Fuck… my love… you really as so beautiful & so good” more praises shower you as your heads meet for a kiss of devotion, as his thrusting starts to near its end. As the kiss breaks you gasp & then moan Frankies name deeply, letting yourself go & making sure you soak every inch of him that’s inside you.”I got your girl, I got…” his final praise is interrupted as he spill within your walls, coating them in his essence & he rolls his head back in pure exhaustion. Frankie knows how to make you feel good & that makes him feel good too.
Snuggles afterwards are a must, smelling Frankie & looking at those big brown eyes that come from a rouged handsome face, make you remember your voice, after only saying a handful of words in the last few minutes. Frankie kisses your nose, before he goes to get a warm cloth for you both to clean up, but you still do this while Frankie teases & strokes you. There’s a reason you married this man, no other man has ever been so attentive or enjoyed your company quite like this after sex.
“Frankie” you say once you’re happy “what’s your alphabet?” & he laughs “why are you laughing baby?” Frankie hands over his phone, “well it’s nowhere near as beautiful as yours, let’s just say that” you look at his notes intrigued & click on the morales alphabet of what we miss & what we want…
A is for Ass
B is for Boobs
C is for Catfish
D is for Drugs & Drink
E is for Energetic Sex
F is for Fingering
G is for Good little Bad Girl
H is for Humping
… it continues in this vain.
“Well I guess they are all memories of some sort” you laugh reading through the list. “P is for Penis in Pussy, well you still get that” Frankie smirks at his rude list as he watches your eyes widen. “S is for Shower Sex…” you raise an eyebrow. “It’s been a while baby” Frankie winks. “Well maybe we need to do that in the morning before our little munchkin wakes up” you hand him back his phone. “That list did work Frankie, im now remembering all the fun we have had & what’s still to come, except the drugs” you firmly state as you tenderly kiss him ready to snuggle in & fall asleep. “Oooh I could have written this list with sexy & naughty ideas about 5 times.” Frankie replies as he holds you close & strokes your hair as you nuzzle your foreheads together. “But none of them live up to the real thing, you’re just to good baby, to ever write down properly.” He sighs.
You hold each other close in silence as you both drift off to sleep, safe in a warm embrace, knowing the other will always love you no matter what. Your night sleep is only disturbed not by your girl, but by Frankie’s snores, the ones you spoke about which makes you silently smile & kiss his nose. The sleep nosies that you adore which always end with your name as the last words to part his mouth. He loves you even in his dreams.
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seethesunny · 2 months ago
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Tell me the unraveled/undone lore! What got you writing it? How did the idea come up? That shit still haunts me and is why I adore you as a writer.
I always looooove when people bring up the fic™️ (listen, Koku never stops bonking me in the head for it bc I broke her heart, and I still haven't put all the pieces back together) because it was a two month spiral until I anxiously posted it one day lol
I'm gonna rant a bit so fairly warning beforehand haha
I'm gonna be really honest and as transparent as I can be:
I knew that absolutely no soul (except Koku) cares about pregnancy denial as a fic concept, which I understand why that happens for several reasons that are all true and valid and the fic landscape wouldn’t be as varied without it, right.
But this was a personal plot bunny that had been roaming around in my head for some time, and writing it for Tess and Joel felt right.
If you have read it, you know that it's inspired by flutterings written by Raff and AMB. Back when 5 people enjoyed this pairing I got really into their stuff, but flutterings was the one au that really stuck with me and haunted me for years and that's something that they've done magnificently in all their fics I'm 100% giving a fic rec here they’re the reason why I started writing J/T myself. I'm getting off track, so this fic was hitting all the right spots because this is a very specific type of unresolved angst to explore between them, and that's what got me to write it.
It was a very "No one will write this so I guess I'll have to do it myself FINE" moment lmaooo I posted some snippets on my twt account and got a positive response, it won the poll for it to be the next fic I focused on during April (we're not gonna talk about the other 2 that haven't been posted yet) and that's how I ended up actually posting it after years of it floating around my brain.
As for the idea, like I said, it was inspired by the concept of flutterings and how, instead of dealing with their fragile situation, both Joel and Tess walk on eggshells and simply do not bring up ever which puts them at odds.
The first ever scene I had for it was the one when Joel caught Tess, and then everything else molded around the dynamic of that specific moment (Joel being so spiteful while Tess retreats to herself to escape her body, then being flipped by the end), and it wasn't always easy to maintain that tone so I would get frustrated then come back.
I divided it into acts so I wouldn't lose the plot, and the first one is the calm before the storm (the denial), the ice breaking (the reveal), the aftermath (the resolve), the lovers quarrel (the climax of the story, and then closure (the anticlimactic ending/bittersweet aftertaste).
There were some scenes that didn’t make the cut (see: the alternate extended ending) like Joel hunting that's only mentioned in passing, Tess’s nightmares getting darker and worse the more time passed, Joel getting arrested by FEDRA while a very pregnant Tess pulls some favors to get him out, Joel coping with Tess’s absence aka abusing substances, Tess’s giving birth + what she did in the time spent after that, the actual scene when Joel previously told Tess to get rid of it, also another what-if dream sequence that's not the one with Sarah!! I almost scraped that one, but I managed to make it work.
That one was nonsensical, and it would've thrown the Canon compliant out of the window, BUT it was sort of an alternate universe where you can understand that they got together and had Sarah AND Ellie, that was a thing that was really going to happen bc I only ever told this to Koku but a hidden Easter bunny was gonna be Ellie being the baby lol if you ignore the dates it could've been a thing, yet now I don't think it makes any sense.
Maybe one day I'll explore those as oneshots, but my idea only extended to what was posted as in their conflict and "closure." I'll revisit this verse when the right time comes, aka when y'all least expect it 🤝
If you do reach the end, I'm sorry and thanks for letting me know my writing is haunting that's 100% my #1 priority when writing. Seriously thanks for all the love <3
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