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spookyscarydemonbabe · 1 year ago

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Burn Baby, Burn…

A/N- Can you tell i’m a little touch starved…

Summary- After a day at the beach, you have to ask the boys to do you a favor. A very personal favor…

Genre- Fluff? Hurt/Comfort maybe?? Idk 😂

Warnings- Descriptions of reader being in pain, reader has female anatomy

Tag List- @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @esme-viridian

(my tag list is always open, if you’d like to be added let me know!)

Word Count- 3.9k

Everything before this morning had been absolutely perfect.

Jeff’s family had been kind enough to let you and the boys stay up at their summer place for the weekend, and boy, did you take advantage of it.

The beautiful view of the beach from the back balcony, the day spent in the sun as you ran back and forth in the water, the perfect naps taken after being exhausted from the beach. Unfortunately, you wished you spent a little more time under the beach umbrellas, or at least reapplied your sunscreen more often.

Sunburns were common in summertime, it was almost as if they couldn’t go without one another. If it was summer, you were getting burnt. You just didn’t expect it to be like this.

You woke up the next morning with your body aching, a warm tingle spread all across your skin, and though you wanted to toss the blanket away from your body you could feel your skin tighten and ache with every move.

It took nearly a minute and a half before you were able to sit up slightly and move the blanket away from your body, your eyes widening and a quiet whimper of shock left your lips.

Red.

Bright red.

Everywhere.

The tops of your feet. your thighs, your hands and forearms, and you could only imagine how bad the damage was to your back and face, and everything else beneath your nightgown. Everything was hurting wether you moved or not and you did your best not to cry out for help from the boys. You didn’t want them to think you were in pain, but god only knows how much of a lie that was.

The more you looked at your crimson skin, the more it hurt.

You slowly and carefully tried to calm yourself, taking deep breaths as you turned to your side to check the clock on the nightstand.

9:38 am. The boys were probably just waking up.

A painful groan left your lips as you went to lay on your back, and it must’ve been louder than you thought because it only took a few moments before you could hear a gentle rapping at your door.

“(y/n)?” It was Grant, who must’ve been passing down the hall when he heard you, “You alright? Can i come in?”

You tried to speak but the pain on your cheeks was too much. You were able to muster a loud enough ‘Mm-hmm’ and Grant was unable to get even one word out before his eyes went wide seeing the state you were in,

“We’r- Oh, shit!” He opened your door all the way as he stepped in to check on you, seeing just how badly your burns were.

The look on his face could only be described as being in pure shock, a twinge of sadness in his eyes for not knowing how you could’ve ended up like this.

“What happened?!” He shouted out, alerting the other boys. You could hear their rapid footsteps approaching your room from down the hall.

You were able to whisper out a very quiet,

“I don’t know…” Before seeing the rest of the boys appearing at your bedroom door.

“Oh, god, (y/n)…” Jeff was the first one to enter behind Grant, and they all shared the same look on their face.

Shock. Worry. Sadness. They weren’t sure how to feel seeing the state you were in. They each had their own burns to sport, Grants shoulders and the top of his back were a light pink and Gareths nose and cheeks were a similar shade. Jeff had a bit of skin peeling at his shoulders, but Eddie had made the crucial mistake of putting sunblock all over, but of course completely forgetting the tops of his feet, which were a bright red close to yours.

“What the fuck happened to you?!” Eddie quickly came to your bedside, reaching his hand out and gently pressing his fingers to your arm to try and help you, but he was pulled back by Grant as a pained gasp left your lips. They all saw that just from the pads of Eddie’s fingers on your arm, your normal tone slowly converted back to its bright red state.

“Fuck…” Gareth leaned forward to look over your body before leaving your room, though no one was sure what for.

“How could she have possibly gotten like this?” Jeff asked Grant and Eddie, hoping that at least someone could piece together how you managed to end up in this state.

“I don’t know, i remember we all put on sunblock before we even left the house yesterday morning-“ Eddie started before being cut off by Grant.

“And i know she put it on at least once after we were at the beach, i helped get her shoulders…”

“(y/n), i know it hurts, but do you remember anything from yesterday that would’ve left you like this?”

You groaned again as you carefully contorted your face, just trying to see how much movement was allowed before you quietly spoke,

“I don’t know… i remember we put it on before we left yesterday, and me and Grant put it on again after the first time getting out of the water…”

Jeff carefully went to sit next to you at the edge of your mattress, pulling the blanket down below your feet to see the rest of the damage. He reached the tips of his fingers out, but quickly pulled his hand back. He wanted to help but he knew how painful it must be for you.

Gareth quickly came back into your room, a few bottles in his hands,

“Here, this was in the fridge,” He set a bright green bottle of aloe vera onto your nightstand, along with a cold glass of water with a straw for you to sip on, “and drink this as often as you can, you need to rehydrate.”

You gently nodded and did your best to reach over and grab the aloe off of your nightstand, but with each slow movement you could only feel the uncomfortable heat beneath your skin. You took a slow deep breath and tried to reach out again, only to give up after moving only a few inches, laying yourself back against the pillows.

“It’s alright, here.” Eddie stepped forward and grabbed the bottle off of your nightstand, placing it into your hand. He looked over to Gareth to see if he could remember anything from the day before, “Did you see if (y/n) put on any sunblock yesterday at the beach?”

“I don’t think so… Maybe once?” Gareth moved his attention back to you, “Did you put more on after that one time.”

Yesterday had been a blur. You remember bits and pieces of the day; bringing down your beach bags, coolers, and towels to lay out in the sand, having a few drinks and splashing around in the water, reluctantly packing your things up to bring back up to the house, and that was it.

“I guess not…”

They could hear the helplessness in your voice, quickly coming to your aid.

“It’s alright!” Jeff reassured you, “It’s not your fault, i know after all we did yesterday it probably just slipped your mind.”

“Is there anything we can do to help you?” Grant asked.

You glanced down at the bottle of aloe in your hand and even from gentle movements you were in almost complete pain. You knew exactly what they could do for you, and if it wasn’t for the redness already staining your cheeks they could see how much you were blushing at the thought of asking them to do this for you. They had all put sunblock onto your back at one time or another, and you had done the same for them, but this was different.

You sighed and slowly reached the bottle out in your hand to whoever would grab it before looking to them, hesitating a moment,

“…do you guys think you can put this on for me?” They could see the desperation in your eyes, and if you could move your body any further they knew you would get onto your hands and knees and beg for them to assist you. The pain was just too much.

They looked at one another, wanting to see who would be the first to offer, and though they all wanted to make sure you were in the last amount of pain possible given your current situation they knew that this was different than any other time you needed their help. They’ve seen you in bathing suits hundreds of times, but in your underwear? Never.

Not to mention the fact that they knew you didn’t have a bra on underneath your nightgown.

“Yes.” Jeff said, making the decision for them, “We will. Are you comfortable with that (y/n)? I know it’s all over, you really want us to get… everything?”

You nodded as best as you could,

“I don’t mind you guys seeing me in my underwear, but please make sure to be careful? I don’t want anything… slipping out…”

They understood exactly what you meant.

Each of them moved to a different side of you to stand at, Jeff had moved to kneel at your left side on the bed while Grant stood at your right, Eddie and Gareth moving to stand at the end of the bed.

Jeff and Grant looked at one another before looking down to you, each of them leaning down closer to you,

“We’re going to pull your nightgown up ok?” Jeff said as he and Grant each grabbed the hem of your nightgown, “Not all the way up, it’ll just be underneath…” He hesitated to finish his sentence, but you understood what he meant and nodded.

They both slowly moved the nightgown over your thighs, the cotton underwear you had been wearing were exposed to them before the nightgown snagged on your body,

“Do you think you can lift up just a bit? I don’t want to touch you, i just don’t want you to be in anymore pain…” Grant asked you.

You took a slow deep breath, doing your best to lift your butt and back off of the mattress for them to keep slowly moving the nightgown. With a shaky breath, you laid back down, Jeff and Grant had your nightgown bunched up just beneath your breasts to still give you a bit of your modesty.

Not a word was said, the silence in the room was enough for you to know how horrible they felt for you once they could see how bad the damage was to your body.

The tops of your feet, your calves, your thighs, your stomach and torso, your arms. They could only imagine how burnt the rest of you was. The state of your body was enough to bring you to tears, but you had to try your hardest to keep still. Any and every movement made your body ache, and the boys knew that too.

Grant gently took the bottle of aloe from your hand and squeezed some into his hand, passing it to Eddie who did the same, then Gareth, then Jeff. They each had a section of your body to cover, and they knew they had to be as gentle with you as possible.

“Don’t worry (y/n),” Eddie said at the end of the bed as he and the other boys rubbed the aloe over the palms of their hands, “we’ll be careful, ok?”

You looked down to him and nodded gently, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for whatever you would’ve felt next. You had no idea if it was going to be painful, or if the aloe would help soothe the pain. Either way, you just wanted it to end.

Grant was the first to reach out, his hand lightly touching your stomach and spreading the aloe over your skin. It was warm to the touch, and although the aloe did help to ease the pain and uncomfortable aching, it still hurt to feel his hands on you.

Eddie was next, reaching up and spreading the gel over your thigh, with Gareth following soon after on your calf and the top of your foot. Jeff was last, carefully taking your hand in his and gently lifting your arm as he applied it.

It was a strange feeling to have them all touching you at once, being gentle and treating you so delicately. They had been doing their best to not cross any boundaries, always moving slowly as each of them neared closer to your intimate areas.

Eddie and Gareth slowed their movements as their hands inched closer to the inside of your thighs, Grants touch softened as it lowered down to above the hem of your underwear, and you could feel Jeff wanting to pull back as his hand brushed over the side of your breasts as he moved to your upper arm.

They knew that this wasn’t something that was going to lead anywhere inappropriate, they were your friends and they wanted to help you in any way that they could. They’ve just never seen you in such a state before, needing them to touch you so gently and so delicately.

And although it felt strange to you too, it made you feel closer to them.

You’ve asked them to do favors for you before, spotting you when you didn’t have enough money for food after a show or helping you get ready for a date was one thing. This was different. They had always treated you with kindness and respect. Not letting their eyes wander when you were wearing tight or revealing clothing, helping you get home safe if you had a little too much to drink, they’ve even seen you at your worst and have helped to take care of you when you were sick. But for some reason this just felt… different.

They would do anything for you, and all the wanted was to see you at your best, and though it was strange to see their best friend in such a vulnerable state they wanted to help you by any means necessary. And sometimes that meant doing things that felt a little awkward.

The cool aloe slowly soothed the burns on your skin, and though it didn’t get rid of the pain entirely, you could at least start to carefully move your body.

“How are you feeling now?” Gareth asked as he carefully moved his hands away from your leg as he aloe dried.

“Better.” You said with a gentle smile, glancing around at the other boys, “Thank you…”

“Do you want us to do your back too?” Jeff asked you as he placed your arm gently back down to your side.

“Would you? Please?”

Jeff looked at the other guys and they all nodded.

“Of course we will, just as long as you’re ok with it?” Eddie said to you.

“I’m ok with it. I might need a little help flipping over though…”

“That’s ok!” Jeff said, “We’ll help you.”

You gave them a gentle smile and carefully moved onto your side, Grant and Jeff helping you turn onto your stomach as Eddie reached up to help your nightgown still keep you covered. You let out a few pained moans from the feeling of your burnt skin shifting over the sheets, the boys waiting patiently for you to get comfortable.

With one final pained whimper you were laid out on your stomach, Grant and Jeff adjusting your nightgown once again, lifting it up over your shoulders while still making sure to keep your breasts covered. Your backside had the worst of it.

They could see the stark white line at the bottom of your back, the bright red cutting off where your bathing suit had kept a very small part of you protected. They couldn’t imagine the kind of pain you were in.

It was less painful to be laid out on your stomach and you took a few small, shallow breaths as you felt Jeff’s hand reach up, slowly petting through your hair to comfort you as best as possible.

Grant grabbed the bottle of aloe and once again it made its way around the boys, Grant to get your back while Eddie and Gareth got the rest of your legs. Jeff stayed next to you, being as gentle as he could be as he did his best to detangle your hair to distract you from the pain and discomfort.

“Ready again, (y/n)?” Grant asked.

With one last deep breath you nodded and a quiet gasp left your lips as you felt the cool gel against your warm skin once more.

You closed your eyes as you felt the aloe cooling the burns, trying to focus on anything else other than the pain. Their gentle touch was definitely helping, not to mention how careful they were all being with your body, not wanting to make the situation any more uncomfortable than it already was.

As they neared closer to the worst of your sunburn, a quiet cry escaped your lips, Eddie quickly reassured you just as he and Gareth were almost finished with your legs,

“Shh, it’s alright, we’re almost done…”

With one final application of the aloe to your shoulders, Grant quickly moved your nightgown back down over your body, Eddie and Gareth pulling it back down over your thighs. Though your body was still aching, the cooling gel had soothed the burn. At least for the time being.

“How do you feel?” Gareth asked as he sat at the end of the bed.

“Still hurts…” You replied back with a sniffle, “But it feels a little better now…”

“Do you want to lay on your stomach for a while? Or do you need us to help flip you back over?” Jeff said as his hand kept moving slowly through your hair.

“Can you help flip me?” You asked them all, and without hesitation, they each came to your aid.

They let you do the bulk of the moving, not wanting to put too much pressure onto your skin, still warm to the touch. Jeff had moved himself from the bed, grabbing the blanket from your bed and slowly dragging it over your body as you lay your head onto the pillow.

“Oh! Wait, just one sec…” Gareth stopped Jeff and left the room, returning quickly with a bedsheet in his hands, “I put this in the freezer as soon as i saw you, it’s not freezing cold, just enough to cool you down a little.”

He unfolded the sheet as Jeff moved the blanket away, Gareth carefully laying it over your body. A slight smile came to your lips and the boys smiled with you.

“Thank you,” You said as you looked over to them, “i’m sorry… i know that was probably a little awkward…” You quietly giggled, the boys following after you, a bit of pink at their cheeks.

“It’s alright,” Eddie said, “you’re hurting, you needed it.” He leaned over and gently kissed the top of your head.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Grant carefully placed his hand onto hours, giving it a gentle squeeze, “you don’t have to apologize. We should be apologizing, we were with you all day yesterday and didn’t say anything.”

“It’s ok!” You held his hand back and looked to all of them, “You don’t have to apologize either, it’s no one’s fault.”

“Do you want us to stay with you today?” Gareth asked.

“No, you don’t have to stay. Go and have fun, don’t worry about me.”

“(y/n),” Jeff said to you, “we’re going to be worried about you, i can’t imagine how painful that burn is. We’ll stay back today.”

You nodded and looked down at your body, covered by the cold sheet. The state you were in, the pain, the fact that you had those four boys helping you. You felt like there wasn’t much of anything you could do. Those boys would have to help you with every little thing that day…

You didn’t even notice the few tears that fell from your eyes until Eddie reached forward and wiped them from your cheeks.

“What’s wrong? Is it too much? Do you want us to put more aloe on?” He asked you with worry in his voice.

“No,” You said with a smile, sniffling, “I just… I feel bad…”

“Why? You have nothing to feel bad about (y/n).” Gareth said.

“Because…” You sniffled again and looked back to them, “i ruined the trip…”

“No!” Eddie reassured you, his hand moving to pet your head, “You didn’t ruin the trip. You didn’t ruin anything.”

“(y/n), we don’t mind it. Really.” Jeff said to you.

“Besides, we’re still trying to recover from yesterday…” Grant said with a smile on his lips, “I think we all just need a day to relax.”

You and boys nodded in agreement. After all, you had spent the last day and a half drinking, smoking, down at the beach. As relaxing as it was, it got very exhausting very quickly.

“Do you think you can make it to the kitchen table for breakfast?” Gareth asked you, “I’m making my biscuits and gravy, i know how much you love it.”

“I do.” You said with a smile, “But i don’t know if i’ll be able to move much, at least for the time being. It was hard enough just rolling onto my back, i don’t know how long it’ll be until i can move on my own…”

“That’s alright!” Jeff said, “We’ll make breakfast and then have it in here, i can even roll the TV in, we don’t want you to have breakfast all by yourself.”

You smiled a bit bigger, though quickly lowering it when you felt the aching in your cheeks,

“Thank you…” You looked them over, admiring their smiling faces, “I don’t know what i’d do without you guys.”

“Probably not much…” Eddie said quietly to himself, Grant giving him a nudge to his arm.

“There’s that attitude i know well.” You said to Eddie.

“Come on,” Jeff was the first to step away from the bed to cook breakfast, “let’s go get everything ready-“

“Wait!” You cut him off, he quickly turned his attention back to you, “Cheek.” You said with a smile.

He smiled and quickly came to your bedside, leaning down towards you. You gave him a gentle kiss to the cheek and he made his way back out of your room as you looked to the other three boys,

“You guys get one too.”

They were all smiles each taking their turn getting a quick kiss on the cheek from you. Eddie was last, cocky as ever, leaning down and puckering his lips up before you.

“Eddie…”

He rolled his eyes with a smile and turned his cheek to you,

“It was worth a shot…”

He shrugged and stood up, grabbing your door handle to shut it closed after he left, but quickly turning back and grabbing the bottle of aloe that was still left on the nightstand,

“Almost forgot! I’ll put this back in the fridge and we’ll put some more on you after breakfast.”

“Thank you.” You gave each other a smile and he left into the kitchen with the rest of the boys to help finish up breakfast.

You sighed and carefully moved each part of your body to see how much mobility you had. You still couldn’t move very quickly, your arms and legs only being able to shift slightly under the sheet, but it was better than nothing. With the boys help you were sure you’d be feeling much better later. Or at least by tomorrow you’d be able to get up on your own.

What would you do without them?

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #gareth emerson #jeff stranger things #freak stranger things #hellfire club #corroded coffin fanfic #corroded coffin #corroded coffin fic #hellfire club fanfic #hellfire club fic

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

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Hey! I was wondering if you could do a fluffy type thing based on the gif of ur navigation page. Ya know the scene in the movie where he can see whos doing what on their phones? and maybe the reader is like talking about their crush on him? i think tht woukd be a rly cool concept. but you dont have to do it if you dont want to :)

this is really cute omg i never would’ve thought of it either :,)

i couldn’t find the gif in question but close enough

“i have access to the entire stark global security network, including multiple defense satellites,” edith tells peter as he looks around the bus through his glasses. “as well as back doors to all major telecommunication networks,” she adds on. peter’s eyes go wider, images of his classmates’ and teachers’ phones popping up.

��woah,” he mumbles to himself. he can see people’s texts, google searches, everything. peter can’t help but be curious about what you’re up to. you’re sitting alone and kind of hunched over in your seat, so he assumes your phone is out. that gives him an idea.

“um, edith?” peter asks for his new... friend. she responds almost immediately. “yes, peter?” “what’s y/n doing?” your picture, name, and a view of your screen show up in his glasses. “i can’t believe that worked” he mutters and glances over at you again in person. you sit a few rows ahead of him.

he’d wanted to sit with you for the ride, but dimitri wouldn’t let him. something about blowing his cover.

peter focuses in on your screen again. you’re texting mj, in long paragraphs, and her messages back are just as lengthy. it seems like it’s a pretty personal conversation. maybe he shouldn’t be snooping on you. “edith, could you-“ his heart beats a little faster when he sees his name come up. he’s technically not snooping if it’s about him.

“yes, peter?” edith prompts him. “never mind,” he dismisses her, wanting to find out why he was mentioned. he sneaks a quick peek at mj to make sure she hasn’t caught on. she has a habit of always being in his business. she’s across the bus with brad next to her, so she hasn’t picked up on the fact that peter is watching you two.

chewing on your bottom lip, you type out your next message. peter jumps in his seat as it flashes across the screen.

you

i really like him and i thought he liked me too but he’s been kind of like... idk avoiding me the whole trip?

“i’m not avoiding her!” peter whisper yells, biting the inside of his cheek while he waits for mj to reply. it then hits him what you said in the first part. you like him. not just like him, really like him. he could pass out right now and call this a dream. he’s been crushing on you for a while, but he was too scared to say something. this is definitely a confidence booster.

wdym avoiding you? he’s been ditching the whole class y/n/n. kinda sus if u ask me

you

stopppp 😭 maybe he has something going on bc he’s been weird since before we left

uh he’s been weird his whole life

peter purses his lips at that, eyebrows furrowed in offense. he can’t believe nick fury is ruining his love life. or, the potential of him having a love life. you could’ve been cuddled up next to him and listening to music together right now. he’d made a playlist for the trip of both your favorite songs, that specific reason being why.

but, no. nothing that isn’t superhero related can ever go peter’s way. he’s had enough of fury and his team controlling him.

you

i don’t wanna get dramatic or whatever but should i just give up? if peter is busy i don’t wanna overwhelm him

“thanks, edith. you can stop showing me now,” peter decides, getting up from his seat before he loses his nerve to. he makes his way through the aisle and over to you. “i said all kids stay seated!” dimitri scolds him with a stern look through the front mirror. he doesn’t actually care if people get up, he just wants to keep peter away from everyone else. good thing he’s the one driving so he can’t do anything about it.

“sorry!” peter calls back, making you look up from your phone. giving him a lopsided smile, you quickly shut it off. you didn’t expect him to be the rule breaker getting yelled at. “hey,” you greet him. “hey. can i sit with you?” peter smiles back, without the nervousness. he already knows your feelings are mutual.

you scoot closer to the window so there’s more room. “yeah, always.” “thanks,” he breathes out a laugh and takes his seat. “i like your glasses. when did you get those?” you compliment, loving the way the blue frames sit on his face. peter squints at you. “glasses? what glasses- oh.” he’d forgotten to take them off before coming over. great, now he needs an excuse.

“they... they, um, at this store in venice...” that’s all he can come up with. you’re guessing the glasses have something to do with his stress lately, and you’re not far off. you let him leave it at that. “well, they look really good on you. really really good,” you laugh and get a laugh of relief out of peter as well. “thank you, y/n/n.” “you’re welcome.” you’re grinning for real now, and being the cause of it makes peter so happy.

he’s ready to shoot his shot.

“do you wanna, um, listen to music with me?” peter asks softly over the loud rumbling of the bus. “i made a playlist... for us.” for us. him coming over here, thinking of you like that, the doubts you were having earlier are starting to fade away. you nod, a giggle slipping out of you. “yeah, we can share my earbuds. thanks, peter.”

you unzip your backpack and grab them, peter biting back another grin. this is working out exactly how he wanted it to. you hold out an earbud to him and put yours in. peter does the same, adjusting his while both of you move in so the wire doesn’t stretch. yup, that’s why. definitely not so you two can be closer.

“can i plug these in?” peter asks, taking the connecting end of the wire. “mhm,” you hum and watch him put it into his phone. he opens up spotify and goes to his playlist, titled with a smiley face and every pink heart emoji. that brings yet another smile to your face. “aw, that’s cute,” you comment, taking a leap of faith and resting your head on peter’s shoulder.

peter hits shuffle and makes a move of his own by resting his head on yours. he lowers the music a bit so he can say something to you, confess to you what he finally has the courage to you. “hey, y/n?” he mumbles, waiting for you to look at him. you already were. “i like you.” you settle into peter even more and let out a content sigh. “i like you, too.”

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland fluff

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cat-induced-fever-dream · 3 years ago

Text

Acquaintances

Pairing: Wanda x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Description: Wanda meets someone who doesn’t treat her like a villain, but she doesn’t know who you really are.

Notes: I promise it’s fluff and not a trap. Also sorry about my hiatus, I’m just super unmotivated to do anything. So here’s my feeble offering to try and get back into writing.

- - -

Wanda groaned at the sight of a man with a camera. All she wanted was to pop down to the shops, buy some paprika, but alas, even a shopping trip was gold for the paparazzi. Maybe if she hid behind an aisle he would leave. But she heard the door open behind her. Ducking quickly behind a stack of tuna cans, she scanned the rows for the precious package.

She knew she wasn’t the favourite of the public, and the guilt of what she’d done ate her alive every night, but she was sick of being blamed. All she did was try her best, but this was the kind of thanks she got.

She frowned a little when she saw the man round the corner. She steeled herself, not wanting the tears to spring to her eyes. Turning around to face him, she- There was a person talking to him. You had a shopping bag in your hand, so you must have been another customer. Dressed smartly with a blazer, but paired with jeans and sneakers, you looked friendly, but the cold look you gave the man said otherwise. You exchanged words quietly with the reporter, and he seemed to refuse you, turning back to look at her. Realising that this was the perfect stall to get out of the store, she resumed her search. Cumin, Ginger, Paprika! Quickly glancing back to see how long she had, she saw you hand the man a business card as he hurriedly shuffled away.

“Sorry about that,” you turned to her, looking genuinely apologetic.

“Why?” she asked, it coming out harsher than she meant for it to. “It wasn’t even your fault.”

You shrugged. “You don’t deserve it.”

Wanda frowned again at this. She didn’t even know you, but you helped her out, so the least she could do was be polite. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you smiled. The two of you started to walk towards to counter. More like she did and you kind of happened to as well. “What are you cooking with the paprika?”

Sliding the bag to the cashier, she turned to face you properly. “I was making a traditional Sokovian dish.”

“I’m a big fan of trying different cuisines,” you replied, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “That sounds delicious.”

Wanda’s not really sure why you’re trying to make conversation, but you didn’t seem to have an agenda, so she indulged you with a response as the two of you walked out of the store. “It is, my mum always had the best recipe.”

“Ah well, my parents weren’t around much, so I can’t say the same,” you laughed, throwing your shopping in the back of what must have been your car.

Wanda hadn’t even realised she had walked with you to your car. That was embarrassing. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I should be going now,” backing away as quickly as she could without making a fool of herself.

“Wait,” you called, “do you need a lift back?”

“You’re a stranger.”

“Well I know your name is Wanda,” you grinned cheekily, opening the passenger door. “And my name is Y/N. Guess we’re not strangers anymore. So, what do you say? It’s the least I could do, with that man bothering you.”

She’s not sure what compelled her to agree, but she found herself sitting in a plush leather seat as you adjusted the rear view mirror. Tapping the dashboard screen, you pulled up a map to Avengers Tower and backed out of the parking lot.

You didn’t seem to mind that she didn’t make conversation, bopping your head gently to whatever pop song was on the radio. Instead she spent the time trying to figure out who you were and why you were being so nice. “It’s rude to stare, you know?” you winked at her.

Wanda felt the heat rush to her cheeks. “Wha- No, sorry,” she mumbled. She’d done it again, made herself look dumb. You giggle, returning your eyes to the road. Trying not to stare at you this time, she observed the fancy watch adorning your wrist, and the sleek interior of the car. You must be a businesswoman of some sort, since this clearly wasn’t your average suburban car. But you were wearing jeans. Maybe a lower level employee than?

She sat there musing, until the door suddenly opened. “We’re here,” you smiled, gesturing at the grand tower that was now her home.

Why couldn’t she stop being so awkward? This was the third time. Unbuckling the seatbelt, she stumbled out, clutching the paprika to her chest. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime, Wanda.” And with a small wave, you hopped back into your car and drove off.

- - -

Heading straight to her room, Wanda abandoned her plans for paprikash. The whole interaction was quite frankly, baffling. No one was ever nice to her, except for the Avengers. But you clearly knew who she was, driving her back to the tower without an address. Tossing her jacket on her bed, she sighed. It’s not like she’d ever see you again. That’s when she noticed the card peeking out from the pocket. There was a phone number printed neatly on it, and a cursive scrawl underneath. “I am actually interested in the dish though. Could I have the name of it?”

She hadn’t exactly interacted with anyone else, so it must’ve been you. Running her thumb over the ink, she was hit with a renewed sense of energy. Grabbing the paprika, she dashed back down the stairs.

- - -

You’re spinning around in your office chair when your phone goes off. Clicking on the message, a small smile makes its way into your face.

Unknown Number: this is the dish i was talking about

Unknown Number: *image*

Unknown Number: it’s paprikash

- - -

“Hey Wanda,” Tony called, a carefully wrapped package in his arms, “this came for you.”

One look at the scarlet wrapping paper, and she knew who it was from. “Thanks Tony,” she said, grabbing it and running to her room.

Setting the package gently on her bed, she untied the ribbon and unfolded the wrapping paper. Nestled in the middle, a box of cookies.

She grinned to herself. Wanda’s been texting you for a couple of months now, and now she could really say that you’re not strangers. She knows that you can’t cook, but you can bake. You’re a businesswoman “of sorts” you say, and that you’re a pretty busy person. But regardless, you hang out with her, chilling in the local coffee shop, going shopping, even just a stroll around the park. She also knows that this happiness she gets when she sees you is definitely not platonic.

Opening the lid, the chocolate aroma wafts into her room. Her favourite of your baked goods. There’s a note tucked into the side of the box, and she delicately pulls it out. “Be my girlfriend?” she read, the handwriting obviously yours. Wait. Be my girlfriend? She sat there dumbly for a couple of seconds before it hit her. You’re asking her to be your girlfriend. Wanda scrambled for her phone, snapping a picture to send to you.

Y/N: those cookies look delicious, who sent them?

The witch rolled eyes at your antics, but played along.

Wanda: idk, but i just got asked out

Y/N: whoaaaa, did you say yes?

Wanda: yes you dumbass

Y/N: okay, under other circumstances that would’ve hurt, but i’m too excited to care right now <3

Wanda: ...

Wanda: did you try to bribe me with cookies?

Y/N: it worked, didn’t it?

Wanda: i can’t believe i actually like you

Y/N: honestly, me too

Y/N: sorry it’s a busy day, but you wanna come over for dinner?

Wanda: sounds good <3

Y/N: i’ll come pick you up, see you then girlfriend

She didn’t want bugs in her room, so Wanda grabbed the box to put in her kitchen cupboard. Balancing a cookie in her mouth, she was about to close the lid, when a hand pinched one. Eyes immediately glowing red, she locked onto Sam as he backed away, half eaten cookie and hands up in surrender.

“Do that again and I will give you nightmares.”

The Falcon whistled lowly. “Okay. Protective over cookies. Got it.”

“There’s cookies?” Bucky asked, strolling in.

“No.”

“Oh okay.”

- - -

The heroes were sprawled on the couches playing a game of UNO when Wanda came down the stairs.

“What are you doing with that hoodie?” Tony asked sharply.

Wanda furrowed her eyebrows. “This.. hoodie?” she replied, tugging on the drawstrings of the soft item of company clothing she was wearing.

“Yes! That’s my enemy’s!”

She didn’t really want to get into whatever nonsense the genius was spouting again. “My friend lent it to me.”

“You have friends?” joked Sam.

Steve gave the man a warning look. “It’s good that you’re adjusting to life here.”

“I think the important question here,” Natasha said from her spot, “is where are you going?”

“Dinner,” she replied, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. She tried to fight the silly smile that crept into her face whenever she thought about you, but she mustn’t have hid it well enough, since the red headed spy gave her a sickeningly sweet smile.

I hate you, she projected.

Nat winked back.

“Based on the way Miss Maximoff keeps anxiously glancing at the door, there is likely to be someone waiting for her,” Vision piped up. “I have searched the Internet databases, and from what I have gathered, your casual outfit means that you are going with someone you are familiar with. The sharing of clothes is usually reserved for close friends or romantic partners only.”

Of course the android had to get involved.

“Your heart rate seems to be speeding up Miss Maximoff. Are you okay?”

“Wanda Maximoff,” Tony asked slowly, “do you have a boyfriend?”

That’s when all hell broke loose.

“Who is he?”

“Is he hot?”

“Where did you meet?”

“How did you even get a boyfriend?”

“Can we meet him?”

“What-“

“Okay,” she groaned. Well it was bound to happen eventually. She just wished she could’ve gotten even a few months without the teasing. “I have a girlfriend, yes she’s hot, yes I’m going to have dinner with her, and I’ll ask about meeting. I’m going to go now.” With that, she stepped into the elevator.

“Don’t think this conversation is over witchy,” called Tony, as the doors slid shut.

- - -

“Hey,” you smiled as she slid into the car. “What took you so long?”

“The Avengers found out.”

You chuckled at that. “What, did they interrogate you or something?”

“Something like that.” She paused. “They want to meet you.”

“Are you sure?”

“They’re my family, and they’ll love you as much as I do.”

“Cute,” you grinned, “but I don’t know about Tony.”

“Trust me, they’re a mess a lot of the time, but they’re good people.”

You checked through your phone. “I haven’t got anything on around lunch tomorrow. I can come by then, how does that sound?”

“So you’ll come?”

“Anything for my girlfriend.”

- - -

Her green eyes locked onto you amongst the bustle of suits in the lobby.

“Hey.”

You adjusted the grey fabric of your pantsuit. “Hey yourself.”

“Did you wear the suit to impress me?” Wanda asked, delicately tugging on your tie.

“Actually, I’ve got a meeting with the investors later. Gotta make an impression, you know?”

“Well consider me impressed,” she whispered against your ear.

Blushing, you allowed Wanda to lead you to the elevator.

- - -

Clint wasn’t sure what to expect with you. But if Wanda liked you, you were sure to be one of the good sorts. So maybe like a cute girl she met at the cafe or something. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting the confident girl dressed in a suit to step out of the elevator.

All of them were lined up in the common room and he’s pretty sure any normal person would have been intimidated by the sheer amount of Avengers in front of them, but you stepped up to them absolutely unfazed.

“Mr Rogers,” you offered your hand to shake, “a pleasure to meet you.”

Steve was expecting to have to take the lead with introductions, but here you seemed to be handling yourself fine. “Likewise.”

“Is Mr Stark here today?” you asked him.

“He’s a bit busy at the mo-“

Clattering and a string of curses interrupted him. And of course, the man himself stepped into the room, Iron Man debris in his wake.

“Tony,” Steve scolded.

“What? Did you think I’d miss meeting the girl who stole the heart of our cold antisocial emo?”

Wanda tossed a couch pillow at him, but he brushed it off.

“Tony Stark,” he declared.

You shook his hand politely. “I know who you are Mr Stark.”

“And you are...?”

“Y/N L/N.”

The genius might have been singed from his armour, but the moment that name fell from your lips, he yanked his hand away, as if he was burned.

“L/N. As in L/N Corporations?”

“That’s me.”

Abruptly he turned to Wanda. “Do you know who this is?” he hissed. “The greatest rival to Stark Industries. I thought you were introducing your girlfriend.”

You gave him a winning smile. “I am her girlfriend Mr Stark. And you may have made me your rival, but I can assure you that you are not mine.”

Sam snorted.

“What are you doing here then? Are you here to try and steal data? You can’t...”

You paid him no mind as you winked at Sam. Spotting the metal arm, your eyes widened. “You must be Bucky, right? Princess Shuri told me she’d been working on some vibranium projects. I’d love to take a closer look some other day if you don’t mind?”

“How do you know Shuri?” Stark spluttered.

“You think that she only talks to rich boys who need her help? Sorry to burst your bubble.”

Nat couldn’t help but smirk at this.

“Oh and I’ve actually been working on some prototype Widow Bites as a bit of a free time project,” you added. “If you’re interested, your opinion on usage would really help me to refine them.”

“Of course.”

“Traitor,” Tony glared.

It’s at this point your phone began to ring. Glancing down, you offered a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, I’ve really got to take this.” You turned to face the wall as your friendly tone turned professional.

The Avengers huddled together as your call went on.

“Is she using you for information?” Tony scowled.

Wanda scowled back. “She’s my girlfriend Stark. Not everything is about you.”

He looked as if he was going to say more, but Steve interrupted.

“Look Tony, she seemed like a perfectly lovely girl.”

“Yeah I like her,” added Sam. “She can keep your ego in check.”

“If Wanda likes her, I’m fine with it too.” Clint said.

Wanda gave him a thankful look.

A cough came awkwardly behind them.

“I really hate to cut this short everyone, but something’s come up back at the office. Investors are a pain.”

“Yeah go on back to your investors then,” spat Tony.

“Wow” you drawled, heading back to the elevator, “is the rich card the only thing you can play Stark?”

The light on the wall indicated that the cab had arrived, and you stepped inside the carriage which would take you back down, as Peter stepped out.

“Oh hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving Pete, but swing by later, alright?”

“You know it.”

“Oh and I heard you liked the hoodie I gave Wanda, Mr Stark,” you called. “I can grab you one as well, since it’s my company. But I really do gotta run now. Nice to meet you all!” The metal doors slid shut on your grinning face.

There was a silence, before Tony turned on his protégée. “How the hell are you on a first name business with her?”

“We’re friends?” Peter offered.

“Friends?”

“She went to college with me. She was super smart and we hung out and stuff. You know, what friends usually do.”

Squirming under his mentor’s gaze, he continued. “She was too smart for college though, so she dropped out and started her company. It didn’t mean we stopped being friends though.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Underoos?”

“She figured you might overreact, especially with the web sho-“ The boy’s eyes widened, and he made a mad dash for the stairs.

But Tony grabbed his wrist. “What were you saying?”

Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “She helped me out with my web shooters in college, and since then, she’s been developing them with me.”

“What?”

“She knows I’m Spider-Man and I work with her on my tech,” he said slowly.

The man surveyed his teammates, making deliberate eye contact with each and every one of them. “Traitors, the lot of you,” he huffed.

“I mean you gotta admit it,” laughed Sam. “She’s college age, and built an empire to rival you. Not to mention that she’s pretty, smart, has better PR and actual time management skills-“

“Okay I get it,” the genius cut him off.

“Don’t be upset,” Clint smirked, “you can’t lose if you’re not her competition.”

Tony stomped off.

“Don’t worry about him, he’ll come around,” Steve said gently, nodding at Wanda who was fiddling anxiously with her rings.

“She was cool,” added Nat. “Tony can be a pain in the ass, but he knows she’s a good person.”

Her phone buzzed in her hand.

<3: i’d say that went pretty well

Wanda: cannot believe you didn’t tell me

<3: i’m really sorry babe, please don’t hate me

Wanda: i could never

<3: just didn’t want him to stop you from fraternising with the enemy or whatever

Wanda: i’d break the rules for you any day

<3: how romantic

<3: so miss rebel, you coming over tonight?

Wanda: depends if you’re still wearing the suit

<3: anything for you ;)

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda marvel #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #scarlet witch #marvel #mcu

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eureka-its-zico · 3 years ago

Text

Irrevocably Yours Pt. 2

Part 1

Request: hey! can i request a scenario of jungkook being a rich kid who has some of his legs is leg failure , basically can't walk without a cane , And he falls in love with a normal girl , and they end up running away , happy ending plz , also if u can , LIT IT Up with smut ' thank u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A/N: So Part 2 is that slow burn build up (with possible cute moments?) and part 3 will be the actual SMUTTY goodness. Hopefully this is something cute and fluffy that is enjoyable and helps progress the story a little more so when a full length next part of a bunch of smut comes it all makes sense. Or idk anymore lol I edited this thing four times and I just really hope you all like it Please enjoy this wordy mess. I wasn’t sure how to properly write it out the end and yeah...I winged it. If it needs to be fixed lmk please!! As always, I hope you all enjoy. Much love, Jenn

P.s. when I wrote this I listened to Lauv’s “I Like Me Better,” and Pink Sweat$ Feat. Kehlani’s “At My Worst,” on repeat like crazy.

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 15,496 (I know:it’s a hefty boy)

Genre: Fluffy/Smutty, slow burn,

The next day at school you weren’t a hundred percent sure what was going to happen. And sure, maybe you did wake up from a dream replaying that moment in the mud. The ending is a little bit different. This time, dream you didn’t let your chance to kiss him go by. When the opportunity presented itself, and you were both looking at one another like before, you’d leaned forward and kissed him. You weren’t surprised to feel him kissing you back.

You could still feel the ghost of the imagination of him leaning down to press his lips against yours. The way he leaned in; eyes soft with longing as his body leaned deeper in against you. The weight of him pressing you into the mud until you were sure an imprint of this moment would be there forever. This imaginary kiss you’d shared was sweet, chaste, and everything you could’ve hoped for. Deepening at the last second as your alarm blared you back into realty.

It made you want to ring your hands through your hair in frustration.

Your whole walk to school was nothing but foggy images of the dream on repeat. A mixture of yesterday’s events accompanied them with each frame until you weren’t sure which was the actual moments or what your head had created. I mean, you did know he didn’t kiss you, but...the look in his eyes. Maybe Jungkook hadn’t, but there was that moment you swore maybe he felt the painful comedic romance moment of it all too.

All these unanswered what if’s you'd created had built an impossible chasm that seemed to stretch infinitely wider between you in your head. In the end, you were your own bully as your mind stayed up until three that morning playing out every scenario you could think of. Even the ones that ended with you probably reading everything wrong, because what did you know about body language? Or, more specifically, boys built like Jeon Jungkook.

It didn’t matter that you had two tests today and never finished your homework for home period, but what the hell. Nothing like hopelessly daydreaming about the boy who may or may not have flirted with you and harmonized along to songs with a hidden voice of an angel, am I right? And sure, a large part of your night was spent chastising yourself half the time to remind you there was no way in hell Jungkook could feel that way towards you. Even just a little. Your inner monologue of bringing yourself back down to earth, another culprit in the growing list of reasons why none of your assignments were completed.

What can you say? You were a mess.

Your only game plan you’d been able to agree on was just to daydream out the window. Writing out your own hapless love story starring the boy who sat across from you in the home room. With a silent plea to the universe that you weren’t called on to answer any questions.

Your arrival at homeroom was met with barely seconds to spare. The bell rang behind you, and a few other students, as you rushed towards your desk.

“Hurry, hurry to your seats! Or I’ll write you up as late!”

Mr. Choi was all talk. Everyone knew it and his excessive arm movements to rush every body that passed his desk made him look exactly like a conductor. His crazy movements were enough to distract you for a split second from the one person you were desperate to ignore.

“Good morning, class. I hope you are all fully rested and awake for class this morning. Let’s have us open our books to page two hundred and forty-two and continue on with our lesson.”

In unison the sound of backpacks unzipping with students reaching in their backpacks to bring out textbooks filled the class. The only person who didn’t currently have said book was holding his hand up, and seated directly across from you.

“Yes, Jungkook?”

“Seonsaengnim, I’m sorry. I haven’t received my textbooks yet.”

“Ah, that’s alright, Jungkook. You can go ahead and share with Y/N, again.”

You hoped your face wasn’t giving away the panic you felt rising up to match the blush that was streaking across your cheeks. Jungkook’s hand was already on the leg of your desk. His fingers tips grazing across your knee in passing as his hand wrapped around the bar and used it to bring you closer to him. You kept your eyes glued to page two hundred and forty-three and refused to look in his direction. Jungkook seemed to find a way to remedy this; his hand came into view and grabbed hold of the book corner and slid it over to his side. And as if he was the world’s greatest magician, he now had your attention.

Your eyes immediately shoot up to acknowledge his presence, instead of staying on the book. You knew that devilish smirk of his would be there to greet you even before you actually saw it.

“Well, good morning to you too, Y/N.”

His voice practically hummed a tune as he spoke. His eyes heavily searched your face, and you prayed whatever he found wasn’t any lasting signs of rosy cheeks.

“Good morning, Jungkook. I hope you slept well.”

“I slept very well, thank you.”

“That’s good-“

He cut you off fast, his next words a hush of teasing: “Even though some crazy girl tried to smother me in mud yesterday.”

Your world narrowed in on his smug position in his chair, but quickly realized he just wanted your attention. The smile he wore softened around the edges as his eyes tried to look away from you and yet found their way back. You did your best to hide your smile and must have failed miserably for his face noticeably brightened.

“I’m sure if that’s what she was doing - which I doubt - you probably deserved it.”

Jungkook pretended to be wounded and caused you to practically jump out of your seat when his free hand landed on top of yours.

“I can’t believe you think I deserve to be smothered,” he pouted.

You rolled your eyes in a weak attempt to look away from him. Anything to not be swallowed up by how stupidly cute he looked in this exact moment. The fingers that held your pencil lazily tapping on the pages of the math book to bring his focus to something else that wasn’t you.

“We need to pay attention.”

It was the only valuable excuse you could come up with to look away from him. But who were you kidding? You didn’t have to be looking in Jungkook’s direction to be painfully aware that he was there. His own gaze burned straight through you and left a trail of heat everywhere his eyes seemed to land.

Right now, you were aware they were on your lips and stirring every emotion from your dream you tried to suppress. Plus, you weren’t being cute. Unless Jungkook found the sight of you chewing your bottom lip into dust attractive.

It was a terrible nervous habit that seemed to only backfire right this second. You were sure he was ready to make a comment on it. You waited patiently for it to come in between you mindlessly copying equations off the board and the sea of arms flying up to answer whatever it was you’d just written. My gosh, you were trying so damn hard to not pay attention that you were doing nothing but paying attention to him.

Please don’t let him just see I’m doodling.

Mr. Choi was in the middle of showing how to work out a long equation when you decided it was safe to give Jungkook a glance. It was instantaneous how quickly you regretted it.

You jumped back against your seat in a weak attempt to recover some space. You weren’t exactly sure how you’d missed it -missed him- getting so close, but you had. Jungkook’s face was mere inches from yours and it took everything to not show him you weren’t at all bothered.

“Jungkook,” you whispered fiercely. “What.are.you.doing!”

Jungkook ignored your question. His eyes squinting as they looked around the side of your head. The gesture made you increasingly subconscious until you couldn’t keep your hand from going up to brush alongside it.

“What? What is it?”

You were expecting the worst.

“I think I see some mud still stuck inside your ear.”

And like magic your earlier blush reappeared. Your tongue rolled against the bottom of your teeth in a weak attempt to keep yourself from smiling. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to stop it as the urge to give in tugged mercilessly at your lips. The playful glint in his eyes was enough to keep the panic of how incredibly close he still was. Your eyes hopelessly glancing at the pair of lips that plagued your dreams.

Jungkook noticed.

And how did you know this, you might ask?

Jungkook gave it away by the dramatic way his lower lip was drawn in by his teeth. Every movement he made sure was exaggerated and stupidly slow. His eyes watch for your reaction. He didn’t have to wait long; your eyes were glued to them long before his teeth joined the equation. You should’ve felt more embarrassed at your own blunt display - or maybe at his -but, god help you, you weren’t.

You tore your gaze away from him and did your best to pretend whatever part of the lesson you’d missed was interesting. The dirt on your shoes could’ve been more interesting at this moment; anything to keep you from looking back at him.

“I rinsed my hair three times in the shower. Thank you very much.”

“Did you think of me while you were washing yourself clean?”

If what Jungkook was after was seeing your face light up brighter than a tomato he’d succeeded. Your cheeks instantly flushed and felt scolding hot. The only line of defense you could think of to fight the devilish look in his eyes was to give him a smack on his arm. The motion only caused his sinister smile to turn into a full blown grin; a bark of laughter leaving him seconds later.

Jungkook chuckled out an, “Ouch!” His body leaning back, faux wounded, and rays of sunshine pouring out of him in waves.

“I meant when you were getting the mud out of your hair.” His voice carried the singing sweetness of his laughter; airy and light. This boy who you did think of in the shower. All hard edges and softness; sour and sweet. Your very own sour patch kid. “I mean, I thought of you when I tried scrubbing it out from behind my ears.”

Your heart gave a brief jump at his omission. What you wished you would’ve focused on was the fact he’d admitted to thinking of you...in his own shower. But nope! Instead, your mind appeared to focus more on the fact it was while he scrubbed at his ears.

“I scrubbed my ears too.”

Oh. My. God, you inwardly cringed.

Is that really what your magical brain decided to say in return? Jungkook leaned back in, eyes inspecting not just your ear, but your entire space. Recklessly moving in dangerously close, and your heart was ready to beg for mercy. Whether to completely close the space between you or to stop teasing, of which you weren’t sure.

“It appears you didn’t do that good of a job,” he huffed.

A gurgled scream flew into your throat; the sound was utterly ridiculous and Jungkook ate it up. His head flew back in laughter as your hand moved to swat at him again.

The disruption turned the attention of your teacher directly to the two of you, and Mr. Choi was quick to address it.

“Jean Jungkook! Y/L/N, Y/N!”

The both of you rose from your seats in unison. Jungkook’s rise the definition of graceful, while yours in comparison was met with anxiety and your knees colliding with your desk. Your small “Oomph,” of pain sending him into a fit of giggles beside you. The hand you sent in to pinch at his leg only sent him into another fit.

“Y/N!”

Stupid, stupid! Of course he would see.

“Seonsaengnim!”

To appease him, you felt your body respond in a ninety-degree salute. Your face keeping down to stare at your shoes and praying you weren’t about to be sent out of the room.

“Would you mind explaining what Jungkook and you found so interesting that the two of you felt like you didn’t need to be a part of class.”

God, it wasn’t a question. He really wanted you to tell him, and what could you say?

“Oh, he was just asking me if I was in the shower...thinking of him. And he was thinking of me too!”

Which wasn't a lie. Maybe it wasn’t as dirty as he might have intended, but it was enough to make your cheeks flush to life with their usual color these days. Your mind was still racing with an appropriate answer for Mr. Choi. You were taking so long you were ready to blurt out anything he might want to hear.

“Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook gave a respectful bow and lifted his head. His full attention now resting on the impatiently waiting man at the front of the class. “We were discussing the fact that you, respectfully, have written the equation wrong on the board.”

The entire class seized up. A collective air was taken at Jungkook’s bold attempt to correct him. It was awkwardly obvious that he wasn’t happy at the idea of being corrected. However, Jungkook remained unfazed and waited for the right time to speak.

“Is that so?” He snapped. “If it is so wrong, Jeon, then please, come and fix it for me.”

You were sure his order for Jungkook to go to the front would make him back down . No one enjoyed doing class work on the board up front for all to see. But you’d forgotten Jungkook wasn’t like everyone else. He kept his head high and moved to grab his cane; his hand wrapping tightly to its handle. Jungkook stepped out from inside his desk and let his feet carry him forward. He walked with a noticeable lack of a limp and you were willing to bet that strike of pride was costing him.

It wasn’t that you couldn’t believe that Jungkook was able to walk without it. It was just that your memory forced you to recall the pain he was in during the field trip. The flashes of frustration as his eyes threatened to spill over with tears.

Jungkook came to stand beside Mr. Choi. His hand reaching out to take the marker that the older man had held out waiting for him to prove his equation wrong. He plucked it from the older man’s hand and moved the last few inches to stand in front of the board. His eyes scanning the problem quickly. Your breath held tight in your chest as you watched him get permission to grab the eraser. The class transfixed on his every movement.

You wondered how many of the girls in your class focused on him like you were. The same way your eyes ate up every simple movement he made. The notable flex of his back while he stretched to erase the middle and last part of what Mr. Choi had written out.

“You had a good start here, Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook paused to stretch out his hand. Fingers marking underneath the start of the problem. “But you didn’t multiply these after they were divided, and because of this the middle became wrong. With your core of the problem being wrong the solution was never able to end in its final conclusion.”

With every word, Jungkook’s voice became more self-assured. His presence enveloping the room and demanding the attention he’d already received without question. Mr. Choi watched on with his arms crossed; index finger hugging his mouth in concentration as he watched Jungkook work. From the back of the class, you could see students writing down the new formula. Some of them realized the obvious error Mr. Choi had made.

Jungkook looked at the problem over again on repeat. If it’d been you, you would have left it where it was knowing you’d done what no one else did. But Jungkook wanted to know, for himself, that it was correct.

Finally, he stepped back from the whiteboard and handed the marker back to Mr. Choi. Who looked measurably impressed with him. His index finger he’d used for thinking now covered up a timid smile before he dropped it to grab a hold of the marker.

“Go ahead and have a seat, Jungkook.”

Jungkook gave him a passing bow as he made his way back towards the back of the class. Back to you. It took everything you had not to notice how everyone’s view of him seemed to change. Even the honor students; the ones bound for scholarship glory to prestigious colleges now seemed to take new interest in him.

You’d heard stories about Jungkook, like everyone else did. The Boy Wonder. The boy who seemed unfairly good at everything. Before you’d ever met him, a part of you believed there wasn’t a way the universe would seriously do that. And yet, as he moved to sit back down beside you, you suddenly felt the overwhelming sensation of being below average. Your subconscious rose up to stop whatever sunlight you’d felt at his earlier words, and crushed it until it began to dim. All but snuffing it out.

Jungkook fell back into the seat at his desk riding the high of confidence he’d gained from proving he’d know how to fix the answer. Not just know it; teach it. The air around him completely changed. He was the sun and the rest of you were becoming helplessly lost in his orbit. From the backwards glances of the others around you, you were pretty sure they weren’t going to mind one bit.

Either Jungkook was honestly oblivious to all the attention or he just didn’t care. He practically beamed as he leaned himself closer to you completely unaware at how breathless he made you. That smile you’d admired during your field trip showed itself beaming and bright. He was so damn pleased with himself his eyes sparked with joy and you wish you could’ve pouted. Maybe found the strength not to care or to wonder if he could see how he affected you.

You wanted to pout and be in your own bubble, damn it.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I don’t think he’ll bother us again.”

Us.

Those butterflies you’d sworn to yourself you were not feeling towards him began to come to life. Or were they butterflies? You weren’t sure what to call the feeling Jungkook gave you.

Sure, Jungkook made your heart thunder in your chest like a caged animal. And yea, maybe you swore to yourself there was an attraction there that you couldn’t explain, but that was just your dopamine talking. That didn’t mean the two of you were soulmates or the universe decided to bring you both together by a mess of unseen choices.

But...when Jungkook looked at you this way it was hard to tell your thundering heart anything else.

The two of you continued to look at one another. A heartbeat of time passing between you with Jungkook waiting for your reply. You watched the edges of his smile start to wilt as realization set in that you weren’t planning to reply. No smile or teasing remark was headed his way, and just as fast as he noticed it, determination swiftly replaced the light weighted joy he’d shown moments earlier.

“Hey, you don’t have to worry. I’m positive he will leave us alone the rest of the class. I promise.”

God, why did he have to make things so difficult? When Jungkook spoke the words, “I promise,” they’d been so earnest. He meant them. Here he was trying to turn the tables and be your knight, instead of you being his. It would have worked, but what he didn’t know was that you weren’t worried about Mr. Choi. Not really.

No one could tear you down further than you were able to do to yourself.

He was still waiting for the answer that you would never give. You turned to face forward in your chair and tried to forget the ripple of sadness that moved over his face. The cost of your stubbornness suddenly felt too high. No matter how it made you feel though, you refused to look over in his direction.

An awkward chasm had built between the two of you. Mostly, well, obviously it was all because of you. You figured Jungkook would eventually stop looking at you. You prayed he would stop. Every time he did it your body became painfully aware of his gaze, and the longing it held for you to acknowledge him. And every time you remained facing front. You no longer could pretend to focus, however, and that seemed to be all the signs Jungkook needed to know you were in some way paying attention.

Your notebook that’d been left unattended on the desk became his private art museum. The doodles started off silly and slowly morphed into small faces and objects that held impressive detail. You tried your best to ignore it; his arm practically took up most of the space on your desk. The angle forced him to shoulder into your space to the point that if you did finally turn to look at him you’d run inches away from his cheek.

You were doing your best to pay attention to whatever your teacher was doing at the front. Your eyes watched as a wave of hands went up to answer questions you’d never heard. Yours kept sliding back down to the latest doodle he was making. The latest one he was working on had forced Jungkook to move further inland on your notepad. His forearm getting dangerously close to having to rest in your lap.

It continued like this the remainder of class. For all the effort you’d put in the last half hour of pretending he wasn’t there, Jungkook shattered it within seconds.

He’d repositioned himself with each new doodle he started. His shoulder wedged itself against yours and his forearm had completely taken up what little space was left on your desk. You were trying very hard to not pay attention to how said forearm was dangerously close to your chest. There was no hiding the redness of your cheeks.

Without thinking, you whipped your head to look at him and almost yelled. You knew he was close, but nothing prepared you for this.

“Excuse me,” you whispered, voice incredulous.

Jungkook turned to look at you and...was he pouting? His eyes played up on the childish quality as he turned to you and batted his eyes.

“Can I help you?”

“Ugh, can I help you? Do you need paper or something?”

“I have paper right here. Thanks.”

Jungkook patted the notepad with the end of his pen. Satisfied with his answer he turned his attention back to his latest artistic endeavor.

“You know this is my desk. Right?”

“I like to think of it more like our desk. Sharing a space like we shared music.”

“Ya, Jungkook. You realize you blackmailed me into using my ipod.”

Jungkook feigned shock. His mouth dropping open and his eyes brows going too high up into his hairline. The entire scene was exaggerated and ridiculous. The scene forced you to roll your lips against your teeth to keep from smiling. The effort it took to hide your grin wasn’t unnoticed by Jungkook, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that’d been his goal all along.

“Blackmail sounds so crass. I like to think of it as bargaining.”

“So we agree it’s called blackmail, then.”

The theatrics of his face dropped into a serious stare that left his face completely blank. Void of all emotion except the annoyance that drew a heavy frown from his face. It was stupidly cute and this time you did allow yourself to smile. Your fingers reached out to grab one of his puffed out cheeks and gave it a sweet pinch, like a grandmother, and cooed in his direction.

“Oooooh Jungkookie, don’t frown. We’ve all gotta be wrong sometimes.”

He playfully nipped at your hand to make you snatch it away. It took everything in you not to make a sound at his sudden movement. Your mouth hung open in an awkward smile-shout as you brought your handle against your chest.

“I think you’re misinterpreting the facts here. Maybe you hit your head on a small pebble or something when you fell in the mud.”

“You mean when you pulled me in.”

He shrugged and replied nonchalantly, “I don’t think I recall any force being used yesterday. You just fell on my chest trying to take advantage of me in my time of need.”

Now it was your turn to look deadpanned in his direction. Jungkook didn’t try to hide his wicked smile, however, and the cage of butterflies that were housed in your gut were released all over again.

“Your appa must be a lawyer. It’d explain why you’re so good at bullshitting.”

“CEO, actually. But I would say you’re close. They are also full of shit.”

You weren’t sure what to say to this omission about his father. Underneath the sarcasm felt like a heavy chasm that spoke of the death of a relationship. Your curiosity threatened to get the best of you, but you decided to just throw it away. Filing it away inside a little folder you’d made for little known facts about him.

The bell rang and the mass of bodies in class all began to rise from their seats. All of them eager to rush from the classroom and do whatever plans they’d made to enjoy their little bit of freedom. You were reaching for your bookbag when Jungkook’s hand was just there. A part of you worried he’d decided to play a game of keep away, or something that fit his playful mood, Instead, he placed it down on the desk.

“Oh, thank you, Jungkook.”

God. Why were you staring? Why was he staring?

The room was still filled with the small display of chaotic teenage energy. Most of them had already filed out of the classroom, while some were still putting things away. Honor students were arguing with the teacher about markings he’d left on papers. Small groups of friends chatting happily as they moved in tight clusters through the door. So much was going on around you, and yet the only person you were aware of was him.

“You’re welcome. Have a good lunch, Y/N.”

The playful air that’d been around him had completely disappeared. This boy who stood before you now was more reminiscent of when you’d first met than the boy you’d grown to like. What had made him grow so distant?

“You too, Kookie.”

It slipped out. You couldn’t stop yourself. He’d already started to walk away in his retreat. As soon as his pet name you’d given him hit his ears he completely stopped moving. His head whipped around to glance at you with that devilish grin raised high on his cheeks.

“Kookie? Are you calling me a snack?”

If your eyes could’ve gotten any wider, they would’ve left your skull. The embarrassment was hot on your cheeks and you knew Jungkook would tease you without mercy for the slip up. By the look in his eyes you could tell he was never going to let this go. Not ever. He would be too happy to remind you of this until the day you died. Or until graduation. Whichever came first.

This time you scooped up your bookbag and snatched your book off the desk clutching them to your chest. In your haste to grab them and go, your knee collided with the edge of the desk, but you’d worry about that possible bruise later. You just needed to flee before Jungkook got any closer.

“No, no. It was an accident.”

“You called me a snack by accident?”

You were backing up towards the safety of the open hallway. Your shoulders shrugging too high and your laugh too high-pitched in your attempt to play it cool.

“No snack nicknames here. It was just a slip of the tongue. I must just be hungry, ya know.”

“Are you hungry for me?”

Oh, he was intolerable sometimes. It didn’t matter how flustered he made you. A part of you knew his endless teasing was growing on you. You liked it, and the sane part of you wondered if you’d gone crazy.

“Ya, Jungkook-”

“I think you mean, Kookie,” he cut in.

Jungkook held a single finger up to silence you. He’d stopped moving towards you and let out a laugh as you tried to swat his hand down. He looked so much happier than he did moments ago. That alone made his teasing at your expense worth it.

“No I mean, Jungkook. It’s the name your parents gave you.” You stated, proud that your voice sounded more stable than you felt. “I’m gonna go eat my lunch now. You should do the same and I’ll...see you later.”

You waited for him to argue. To continue to make comments in passing to keep your face rosy and flushed. He surprised you by just standing there in silence. His smile wide on his face and eyes looking at you like you’d held the moon. A look you weren’t used to and made you unsure how to respond.

You started to walk back towards the door and found yourself disappointed when he didn’t follow. You sent him an awkward wave as your arms still held onto your things from your desk. Jungkook showed his amusement by giving you a wave in return.

“See you later, Y/N.”

At his words you turned on your heel and headed out towards the courtyard. No longer eager to eat your lunch that you’d packed. Your mind replayed his words and knew, without a doubt, he would keep his word.

—————-

Lunch went by as quickly as it came. Instead of eating your lunch with friends, you’d opted for sulking in the auditorium. Absentmindedly taking small bits off your food as you considered what had happened between Jungkook and you.

There was flirting there. You may be a little delusional, but you weren’t delusional about this. It was obvious to anyone who witnessed it and yet you tried to deny its existence at every turn. Of course, you knew why.

It just didn’t make logical sense. You were two opposites that shouldn’t be in the least bit interested in the other. Well, that didn’t really seem correct when it came to Jungkook. He was attractive to everyone and probably even inanimate objects. But you...you just couldn’t see yourself that way. You’d only ever had one relationship in your life and it had been short-lived and in the third grade.

Throwing what little was left of your sandwich back inside it’s little brown coffin, you removed yourself from your spot. A huff left you as you reached out to pick up your mess and started to hop back down the steps one-by-one.

You weren’t sure what walking around was going to do. For the hundredth time since this day started, you were lost in your own head. The only thing you knew for certain was that you’d hoped to run into him again. A thought came to you that maybe, just this day, he’d shown up in the school's cafeteria.

You could think of a million excuses for why you’d need to go into the cafeteria and it wouldn’t be weird. Just the thought of not coming off weird, while most certainly being weird, made you beam at your own creativity.

You’d reached the last step and we’re crossing the field when you noticed, on the other side, the very boy you were looking for. He was alone and sitting under the shade of the only tree next to the amphitheater. His back against the bark and a knee drawn up to give his notepad a place to perch. Whatever he was writing, drawing, or formulating held his interest and refused to let him look up.

All your previous bravado deflated in a second. It would be harder to deny you weren’t actively seeking him out if you went to him now. But, who said that you wanted too?

Grabbing the strap of your book bag tight, you started back on your mission. Your legs made quick work across the field. It wasn’t until there was only a few feet left between you that he looked up. His brow still furrowed in tight creases of concentration as he decided if you were a friend or foe. Your feet almost tripped over themselves when he smiled at you.

“Y/N!” He called happily. “What brings you over here?”

“I came looking for my snack.”

The surprise on his face made your bold choice of a response worth it. Jungkook, being who he was, quickly recovered and set his notebook and pencil down beside him. He placed his arms casually on his propped up leg and leaned forward as if he was about to tell you a secret.

“Well, you found me. Why did you come looking for me? Really.”

You tried to think quickly of what to say. The idea of telling him the truth, that you’d just wanted to see him, felt painfully honest and might press him to ask for you to explain. How could you explain that in the short time you’d met him he was both the most interesting and infuriating man you’d ever met. But he was also the most beautiful, and had a delicate softness under his hard exterior that you were growing to love. He was basically the perfect description of the onion from Shrek.

An idea clicked in your head and your hands quickly moved inside your bag and produced another brown bag.

“I wanted to come see if you’d eaten. I had some spare kimchi rice ball’s my omma made.”

You extended the bag out to him. Your eyes locked together as you waited for him to either accept it or deny it. Jungkook surprised you by leaning forward and taking it gently from you. It took some effort, but he crossed his legs -his bad one in an awkward position - and plopped the bag down between his legs.

You moved to sit beside him in the grass and took your book bag off your shoulder and into your lap. You watched as he moved to open the bag and peered cautiously inside.

“It’s not a bomb,” you chided.

“I never know with you.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile spreading like wildfire across your lips. Jungkook was so charismatic it felt inevitable and fighting against it was futile. He took a large bite of the rice ball and practically swooned. His eyes had fallen shut and a ridiculous chanting of endless “Mhm’s” had started rising up around you.

“Should I leave you two alone?”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open and for a moment you were worried maybe you did pull him out of some weird food ritual. His eyes were blank and then, all at once, he was back to being his usual animated self. The hand that held the rice ball shaking in your direction before shoving what was left inside his mouth.

“This is unbelievably delicious.” He mumbled around his food. “You said your omma made these?”

“Yup!”

You’d said it in English just to dramatically pop the P at the end. Extending out your own kind of dramatics to match Jungkook’s. You leaned your hands back into the grass and noticed Jungkook watch your every move as you did.

“Is your omma married?”

Your face fell into a deadpan stare as you replied, “Seriously? Of course her and my appa are still married, you creep.”

“If you can cook like your omma, Y/N I’m willing to lend you my amazing tutoring services. All for the low price of making things as delicious as this.”

He was already mid-way through shoving the second rice ball in his mouth. His head tilted back to drop it down. A piece of rice must have dislodged itself from its balled shape, because he erupted in a coughing fit. You couldn’t help but laugh as you handed him your water.

“I think I’ll steer clear of rice treats. Just to make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

Jungkook was about to lift the bottle up to his lips and stopped. His eyes falling on you with a playful glare. You held your hands up in mock surrender as you leaned forward. Your hands clap together to get pieces of grass and soil from your hands.

While he drank the water you’d offered up the two of you fell into companionable silence. You didn’t mind waiting and Jungkook was happy that you did. When he’d finished with the bottle, he set it down beside him. His hand moving like a flopping fish in your direction to make you give him something that you’d had no idea he’d asked for.

“Come on. Let’s see your math homework.”

“For what?”

“To start your tutoring. Duh.”

You hated how cute he’d made the word sound. The way his lips smiled around it and left him beaming at you like a little kid on Christmas.

“Can we pass? We just left the class and I hate math. A lot.”

Jungkook tsked you but didn’t look disappointed.

“You can’t get better at something if you give up on it. Luckily for you, you’ve got the best person in the subject to tutor you.”

“For a fee,” you pointed out.

“All the best things come with a price. I’m most definitely one of them. Now. Book.”

His hand movements were more controlled now. His fingers simply waved once -twice- for you to hurry it up and place what he’d asked in his hand. You really didn’t want any part of this. The thought was sweet, but when you said you hated math you meant it. So yeah, maybe you were grumbling a little as you reached inside your book bag and taking a little longer than was necessary to hand it over.

Jungkook took it from you in one smooth motion and had it open to the spot previously in class. All your homework problems you’d left unfinished glaring against the white of the page. His eyes were already scanning over what little problems you’d written down. A clicking noise from his closed mouth reminding you why exactly you hadn’t finished more of it. The reason was sitting right in front of you.

His hand flicked back out and he held it open. His eyes never lifted off the page as he demanded, “Pencil.”

“What the heck? Why am I supplying everything.”

“Cause I’m supplying myself,” he shot back. His hands taking the pencil you handed over to him. “Plus, I also can’t seem to find any in my bag.”

“You didn’t even look.”

Jungkook gave a graceful shrug. His attention was fully engrossed in the problems. You weren’t ready for how cute he looked. How adorable those concentration creases in his forehead made him look, even deadly serious, with his fingers tapping the pencil absentmindedly on the paper. When he figured out what was missing from the equation he quickly erased and reconfigured everything on the page.

You were staring intently at him, both because his angle’s were ridiculously handsome but also, the way the sun fell down on him here, peaking through the trees, felt like magic. It was hard to believe the universe was more than just molecules and that luck was thrown out randomly. If it was, maybe you’d caught some.

Your thoughts were running wild and your concentration was no longer in the safe zone. Maybe that’s why when he finally looked up from the notebook and found you staring he’d smiled. Not his teasing one. Or the condescending either. This smile was soft like a secret, and directed only at you. \

“See something you like?”

His voice was gentle in his playfulness. As if he wanted to take the cautionary approach in case you were spooked.

“Maybe I do.”

A smile of your own spread to match his and Jungkook wasn’t surprised. He was just happy, and it was a lovely sight to see. He looked away from you with his hand moving up to smooth out the hair on the back of his neck. He flicked the pencil down on the notebook and brought it forward for you to see.

“Let’s get back to this. I’ll be honest with you. It’s pretty bad. You missed a whole line on the third problem that left you with an incomplete answer. Not to mention,” he lifted up the notebook and motioned towards the whole page, “Where is all the rest of the homework?”

Jungkook’s voice was filled with the beginnings of laughter. Not specifically towards you, but just the blatant fact you did not care. You gave him your best nonchalant shrug. In reality, you did care. It bothered you it wasn’t finished.

Your fingers were digging in the grass and ripping some of it up and throwing it out into the field.

“I had a hard time concentrating last night. Plus, if I’m being honest math has always been the hardest subject for me.”

“And that is why I’m going to help you.”

“For a fee,” you reminded him.

“I’ll teach you the easiest way I know how to do these and I promise you, you’ll be flying through these problems in no time.”

The sincerity in his voice was evident. Jungkook really believed it and he wanted you to believe it too. You just couldn’t understand why and you found yourself speaking your mind.

“Why are you wanting to help me?”

It was his turn to shrug his shoulders. His face went blank as he looked at you one last time before he looked away. Whatever he was looking at he wasn’t really seeing. He just needed someplace else to look than the person he was talking to you. You did it plenty of times yourself.

Whatever he’d decided on to say had caused his shoulders to square. Determined that whatever he needed to say he would make sure it meant something.

“I like spending time with you.”

The smile you’d worn completely shattered as you stared at him. The butterflies rushed up and up until they trapped themselves in your throat. Jungkook’s admission was basically three words dropped away from just saying he liked you.

This surprising admission should’ve been enough to make yourself not care who you saw walking. Or care when he stopped, his small mob with him, and start gesturing at his imaginary watch. His fingers rubbing together for money owed.

It was worse when Jungkook looked back and took notice. Even worse when he looked back at you with questions swirling in his eyes.

“Everything okay?”

Your eyes looked down to the safety of your hands. The way they were helplessly fidgeting back in the grass and tearing it apart like a miniature tantrum was brewing inside you. You hated that after all this time, you let Lee Kwon upset you by making you feel embarrassed about your dad. That he felt the need to tell everyone the business deal between his father and yours. How every time he told it he’d turned him more and more into a villain of his own misfortune.

Without a reason why you took back your notebook from Jungkook and shoved it inside your bag. You were ready to leave. You didn’t want to explain, but you knew Jungkook wouldn’t let you just leave without one.

He reached out and his hand gently wrapped around your wrist to stop you. There was no force. Nothing that hinted that he would keep you there if you didn’t want to be kept. Looking at him felt harder. His genuine worry almost threatened to let the tears from your frustration spill forward.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head. Your vision dragging away from him and back to the retreating back of the sociopath, Lee Kwon.

You didn’t try to shake him off. You actually felt comforted by his worrisome touch. The way he leaned in closer as if he would pull you into his arms at any moment. As much as you wanted that to happen, you knew it wouldn’t happen. A deep sigh had built up in your chest and you released it while you looked back at him.

“Look. Eventually, I know you’re going to hear about it: my dad, I mean.”

“That’s kind of odd high school kids would talk about someone’s appa.”

“You and me both,” you agreed. “But Kwon’s dad is a banker who doesn’t believe in client confidentiality. So he tells his son about his day over dinner and-“

“And he decides to bring it to school to make your life miserable,” Jungkook finished for you.

He understood and didn’t need you to simplify it anymore. His hand left your arm and you suddenly found yourself missing his comforting touch. It was still there, that comfort, in the way his eyes softened and he leaned in intent to listen to whatever you needed to get off your chest. You appreciated his attention, but also hated it at the same time.

“What’s your Appa’s thing?”

God. He did understand. Maybe just a little too well for your liking.

“Gambling. It started when I was in the seventh grade. At first it wasn’t anything too crazy. He’d always been able to even it out. But then he became obsessed with the idea of winning big. Kept betting on things we couldn’t afford to lose. Eventually, he bet too high and ended up losing the business he and my mom built together and our house. They had to pay the bank back.”

“A bank this dude’s Appa works at.”

“Correct. My Appa...he isn’t a bad man. He’s paid his debt and hasn’t gambled since. What good is it for me or anyone else to make him feel bad for the rest of his life?”

“I don’t get it. Why does that have to do with you, though?”

You’d wondered the same exact thing half of your adolescent life. You shrugged and looked at Jungkook wondering if maybe he’d be able to make sense of it better than you could.

“Twelve year old boys enjoy making up stories. First it was that we became so poor we lived with pigs. That's why I smelled.”

You put air quotations around smelled and Jungkook practically howled with laughter. You tried your best to show no emotion, but could feel the corner of your lips threatening to curl into a smile.

“He probably said it because you didn’t know how to wash back then and, judging from earlier, I still don’t think you do.”

You moved to playfully shove at his shoulder. A scoff of laughter leaving you even though you told yourself you wouldn’t. Jungkook was waiting for you to make a move and when you did he easily grabbed a hold of you. The feeling of intimacy, just like yesterday in the mud, was swimming back to the surface.

Your eyes looked up into his with your laughter being met with a wide grin. The way he was looking at you now made you believe in fairytales and left your lips aching to be kissed.

Before either of you could decide what to do next, the bell for the end of lunch sounded. You could hear it going off all around you, but still the two of you stayed holding each other. Your bodies close enough that if he wanted to make a move all Jungkook needed was to lean down. To say your heart dropped a little when he moved away was an understatement.

You focused on getting up from the grass. Your hands patting down your uniform as you struggle to find something not so awkward to say. You wanted to sound confident. You wanted to sound like you weren’t affected by him at all.

“Well, I’ll see you around.”

God, you sounded awkward. You turned to start heading to your next period. You closed your eyes tight and mouthed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” You’d gotten a few feet away when you heard him call to you.

You turned to look back at him and found him still standing under the tree. His hands in his pockets and his eyes solely on you.

“Would you let me walk you home?”

Did he really have to ask? You’d let him walk you to the edge of a volcano. You didn’t say that, however. You wanted to play it cool, but on the inside you were screaming.

“I’d like that.”

When you turned back around to make your way to class, the memory of how his face had brightened at your reply, stayed with you. You couldn’t wait for the day to end.

_________

True to his word Jungkook waited for you after school. You couldn’t help looking for him over the countless shoulders as you walked with the sea of students towards the entrance. The hole in the pit of your stomach opened back up from the underlying dreadful thought. That he wouldn't show up. You’d be left standing there waiting for him forever. But Jungkook continued to prove your pessimism wrong.

The closer you got to the school’s gate, you were able to spot him instantly. He was leaning coolly against the gate. His bag at his feet and his cane positioned strategically out of view. If anyone just casually walked up, they would’ve never been able to tell he’d needed one. Maybe that was why he’d done it.

He looked to be searching for someone in every face that passed him. It came to an end the minute his roaming eyes found you. No longer did he appear cool and composed. His body became animated with what you could only explain as a giddiness at your oncoming presence.

By the time you reached him, Jungkook was wearing his backpack on his shoulder and his cane in his hand. He was standing and waiting for you. The happiness at being next to you was intoxicating and you could only hope you looked the same.

“It felt like I was waiting forever,” he admitted.

The two of you started in sync out the gate and turned left onto the main road.

“It felt like an eternity just to get to you. I have Mrs. Chun’s chemistry class for the last period. The classroom is pretty far.”

“Mhm, like on a planet far far away.”

Your eyes rolled up to look at him. The affection you found in the warmth of his eyes was startling, but not a surprise.

Your mom used to tell you to always be careful with smiling. It caused laugh lines. It helped make crows feet. That smiling was a woman’s secret enemy she never knew about when it came to aging. She told you over and over to be careful who or what you wasted smiles on. Smiling up at him now, Jungkook was definitely worth it just to see him respond with his own.

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s only, like, one planet away.”

A soft hush of laughter left him as he looked away. His gaze roaming around the street signs and their multiple names before looking back at you.

“Are we going the right way to your place? I just realized I never even asked for your address.”

“Does it matter? I mean, with your leg and all.” You hated yourself for spoiling the moment by bringing it up. You knew it was a touchy subject when it came to his leg for Jungkook. So you weren’t surprised to see that spark of warmth fade ever so slightly from his face. His smile wilted at the edges of his lips before it all but disappeared. “You know I’m sorry I said anything. I shouldn’t have. I mean obviously you know yourself and your limits. You wouldn’t have asked if you weren’t able to do it.”

You were rambling. You were fidgeting and waving your arms around while you talked, because why not? You were doing everything else besides hyperventilating at this point. All you knew was that you felt like a jerk for even bringing it up. When all you wanted was to know he was okay.

You were so lost in the space inside your head and worrying that you didn’t notice him laughing at you. You were mid-arm swing. Inhaling for another round of mouth babble to start asking for forgiveness when he waved for you to stop. A finger tip landing on your lips to quiet the words in your throat by shocking you into silence.

“You really don’t have to apologize so much, Y/N. It’s alright. I understand why you would ask.”

You were tempted to lick his finger away, but it felt too intimate. But so was a finger on the lips. Before you could decide your next move from your internal dilemma, Jungkook solved it for you. His finger detaching from your lips as quickly as it’d come.

“No, you don’t. I’m just worried about you. I know I should trust you to know yourself better, but-“ you did an over exaggerated shrug as you finished: “I’m a worrier.”

“I’m flattered, I have you to worry over me.”

You knew he was teasing you and you couldn’t have been happier. You preferred it to making him sad. Plus, he was back to looking at you like you controlled the stars and oh, what a wonderful look it was.

“You should be. I’ve only got so much extra space up here.”

You tapped your head for added effect and were rewarded with a soft laugh that was followed up by a smile. God, you could get used to this.

“I guess I need to work harder to take up more space.”

“Please, no. Let’s not do that. I need my sanity.”

You couldn’t believe you were doing so well at flirting. Usually, your sarcasm won out and you resorted to awkward winking, but this was definitely an improvement.

“I’m not sure you have much of that left either,” he joked.

You tried to hide your laughter with a scoff. You knew you were failing miserably at being offended. Your mouth fighting too hard to ward off a smile as you playfully bumped your shoulder into his arm. Jungkook was ready for you with his cane digging into the sidewalk to give him extra stability.

“Ya, if I do finally go crazy it’ll be your fault, specifically.”

“I think you’d have a hard time proving that in court. My counter argument would be pretty persuasive.”

You looked at him in shock.

“Court? Wow...that escalated quickly.”

Jungkook nodded his reply. He stopped in front of a bookstore and pointed at a manga in the window. You weren’t too familiar with the title, but it's a cover you’d seen plenty of.

“It would happen as quickly as an infection from a zombie’s bite. It would seem all slow until suddenly you jumped up and tried to eat me.”

You couldn’t keep the amusement off your face as you glanced at him and back down to the manga. A part of you wondering if it was one he’d read before or just wanted to use to make his point.

“Question: why are we together during a zombie outbreak?”

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because I’ll be walking you home. I’ll try and save you and while feeling all heroic about it, I won’t even realize you’d been bitten until it’s too late.”

The two of you moved away from the bookstore window and began to walk back down the sidewalk. Your mind trying to dissect what he was trying to say, but all it left you with was imagining a zombie version of you trying to take a bite out of him.

“You must watch too much Walking Dead.”

“It’s a good show,” he shrugged.

“Did you know that there’s actually a fungus out there that’s sort of like a zombie infection. It’s called Ophiocordyceps. It basically infects the host and within nine days of infection it takes control of the host's body movements.”

You were still walking and looking around while you spoke. Your fingers running gently over a row of gardenia’s that were planted in carefully placed pots in front of someone’s home. You were aware Jungkook had left your side by the sudden coldness of his absence. You turned to look for him and found him standing a foot away from you. A mixture of astonishment and amusement etched on his face.

“Why do you know something like that? Actually, how do you know something like that?”

His eyes were dancing with curiosity as he moved to fall back into step beside you.

“Let’s just say I like to read. I like strange things and facts. And science is full of both facts and strange things.”

With each small statement you held up a finger. When you ended on the third and final small fact about yourself, you wiggled all three fingers at him. The motion earned you a giant smile that only seemed to grow wider as his head shook slightly back and forth.

“You are the strangest girl.”

“How am I strange?”

“You just told me about a body snatching fungus,” he chuckled. “What other girl is going to do that?”

Jungkook had a point. A very strong point. For all your new found confidence when it came to him, you couldn’t keep the heat from rushing to your face. Or the back of your hands from trying to hide it.

“I would tell you to stop being embarrassed but it’s cute when you blush.”

The two of you came to a complete stop at the crosswalk. The red light blinking to tell you two it wasn’t safe to cross. It felt like a weird metaphor for this moment in your life.

Stop! Do not keep staring back at him as if he strung every star in the sky. Stop! Don’t continue to entertain the thought that he looked like he wanted to kiss you or that you desperately wanted to kiss him back. Stop! Even though you already knew it was too late.

You had plans. It’d all been strategically mapped out in your head until you could read it forwards and backwards to yourself. Do your best to graduate high enough in the percentage range to get into a decent college. Get a degree for a job, it didn’t matter what it was, that made enough money to help your parents. For all your careful planning, none of it had included him and yet, the universe had you both standing at a stoplight looking at each other like there couldn’t be any other reality where you weren’t meant to end up right here. Standing at this exact light and looking at one another like no one else existed.

Luckily, the light changed signaling for you to begin to cross. The mass of bodies that had accumulated behind you began to push you both forward and, reluctantly, broke your gaze free from him. Your brain was scrambling to pick up a conversation you weren’t sure how to resurrect. Your mind too busy daydreaming all the scenarios you would’ve taken in different realities if you were braver. Clearing your throat, you did your best to wipe the thought clean and focus on your current reality.

“If it makes you feel better,” you started your body turning to consider him as you spoke, “the study was only ever done on the tropical ants that resided in the forest. The actual effects and what it could do to humans has never been studied. Yet. But I’m willing to bet it would take longer than nine days for it to take hold of a grown adult's nervous system and larger batches.”

He was looking at you in inspired mock horror. You weren’t sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Or if your unusual fact telling about zombie fungus had completely killed the mood. You got your answer in an excited hush of, “Holy shit it’s like you’re writing your own super villain backstory.”

A smile erupted on your face as you playfully rolled your eyes away from him. It was hard to miss the mischievous glint in his eyes or the way his whole face still swam with the playfulness that lurked underneath his teasing. Jungkook was so alive. A force that required you to hang on or else you would get swept up in him without even realizing it’d happen.

You wondered if this is what falling in love felt like.

“I would make a terrible villain. I’m too clumsy,” you stated. Your weak attempt at downplaying yourself being met with a stern look.

“How clumsy are we talking?”

“Hmm, I would say, ‘Kronk giving the llama potion to Kuzco,’ kind of clumsy.”

A hiss of air whistled between Jungkook’s teeth. A mock look of worry on his face as his hands moved to reposition his bag.

“Can we call that clumsy, though?”

“What else would it be?” You asked.

You could feel the lines grouping together in your forehead just trying to figure out what he was getting at. Jungkook didn’t seem to be in any rush to answer you. The two of you walking a few feet before he must have decided you’d waited long enough for him to reply.

“I always thought Kronk was stupid throughout the whole movie, but really, he was just a good person. He’s a good guy tasked to do a bad thing and he just wants to make people happy. Even if it means doing the wrong thing.”

You wanted to ask if maybe he was talking more about himself than The Emperor’s New Groove at this point. He faced forward with his brow creased in deep thought and whatever it was that held his thoughts didn’t appear to be anything good.

“Or,” you started, voice light enough to drag him out of his head, “it’s just a kids movie.”

Sure, Jungkook was looking at you, but he didn’t seem to actually see you. Somewhere inside his head, he was reenacting or seeing something that ate up all the sunshine that lived in his bones. It felt silly to feel a sense of panic about something that might not even be true. And yet, you couldn’t stop the awful thought that sadness was trying to make a home inside his soul.

Without giving it another thought you reached up and pretended to wipe away a pretend rogue eyelash from his cheek. The suddenness of your fingers brushing on his skin jolted him from wherever his thoughts had held him hostage and back into the present. His eyes darted around your face and his own hand came up to gently take yours.

“Sorry.” Your words came out breathy as you struggled not to focus on how he was practically holding your hand. “There was an eyelash. The wind must have blown it away.”

The earlier sadness that’d hollowed out his eyes was gone. What replaced it was one of knowing you weren’t telling the truth. His head tilted slightly down to inspect your empty finger of the proof you knew your words didn’t have whose eyes sparked with his usual teasing and something else. Something that left a different kind of heat flooding your cheeks.

“I’m sure there was.”

Reluctantly, you removed your hand from his and continued to walk. It only took him a couple seconds to fall effortlessly into step beside you making you wonder if his leg was as injured as it seemed.

A warm silence swelled around you as you continued to walk. A comfortable pace setting between you as he looked in the windows of every store you passed in between the changing streets. He never once asked if you were getting close to your home or how much farther it might be. It was like the moment on the back of the bus. The two of you enjoyed that the other was there without ever feeling the need to say it.

But you knew it was soon coming to an end. In only a few blocks, you’d be home and your fairytale moment would end. You were struggling on how to break this, more to yourself than Jungkook, when you noticed he pulled a Nikon camera from the side of his bag. He was squinting through the lens and taking photos of something up ahead. Of the landscape or the people and buildings that framed it you weren’t sure.

He must have sensed your silent question as he snapped a few more quick photos before turning to acknowledge you.

“Y/N, I have a serious question for you.”

It was hard to keep the amusement off your face as you both came to a stop. The place felt random, but it was anything but that to Jungkook. Whatever he saw in this space you both inhabited must have felt like magic to him.

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Do you think we have enough time for me to take some photos?”

It felt like such an odd request. Why should anyone have to ask to do something that they loved? Jungkook didn’t fully say he loved doing it, but no one spent that much money on a nice camera if it wasn’t something they enjoyed doing. The look on his face was just an added bonus of proving your answer meant something. One that made you wonder why he felt like he needed your permission at all. And then it hit you: he wanted to stay in your company while he did it.

You considered teasing him, but he looked too vulnerable standing there. You weren’t even sure if he was breathing. A pleading in his eyes that reminded you of a child asking a mother to go on just one more ride before they were forced to go home. You considered giving him the bad news that you had more than homework to do when you arrived home. But that could come another day. On this day, with him, you could spare an hour just to make him happy.

Instead of coming right out and letting him know you’d made up your mind, you decided to play coy. A soft, “Hmm,” hummed around you as you looked everywhere but him. Your index finger tapping on your lips for dramatic flare.

"Ok," You shrugged. "I think I have some free time I could spare."

His eyes squinted in question as you moved to stand in front of him. The movement simply to let a couple go by in peace, but somehow placed you closer in front of him. Jungkook’s gaze was roaming your face to find an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked.

“You planned on saying yes this whole time, didn’t you. You were just trying to make me suffer waiting for you to answer.”

You gasped in pretend shock and did your best not to smile at his accusations. By the growing smile on his face you knew you were failing miserably.

“Me?! I would never do such a thing.”

“You’re secretly a sadist!”

Jungkook’s smile only widened as a scoff of disbelief passed from your lips. Your own smile grew to match his own when his hands lifted up his camera. Seconds later the sound of the shutter clicked and you felt your soul leave your body. The earlier playfulness was swiftly swept in your own dark cloud and the idea you probably looked hideous in that photo.

“Oh god, Jungkook delete it,” you pleaded.

Your hands were reaching out to grab tightly at this shirt. Your fingers curled in the white fabric until there was a small chance you could tear holes. The camera in question was being held far from your reach. His hand easily held it above his shoulder as he used one hand to steady you against him. You’d invaded his space without even realizing, but you had no time to be embarrassed. Not when he had a picture of you forever saved on that camera.

“Why would I delete it?”

He was his usual amused self you could tell, but he wasn’t egging you on. His question was out of curiosity. His own eyes brimming with it as you considered keeping one hand tightly wound in his shirt and the other to jump up and reach for the camera.

“Because Jungkook I’m not cute. You’ll be lucky if it doesn’t ruin the camera.”

All his earlier playfulness drained from his face and what was left made you instantly feel like you were about to be scolded. His hand that had firmly planted itself on your hip was achingly apparent now as his fingers gripped you closer to him. Your own awareness at how close you actually were to his chest made your lips feel dry. Your tongue flicked out to wet them and god, it took everything in you not to focus on the fact his eyes had followed the movement.

“Y/N, why would you say that? You shouldn’t let anyone talk down about you, and you shouldn’t do it to yourself either. You’re beautiful.”

He spoke like it was a fact. A statement that not just the two of you knew, but the universe did too. And what were you supposed to say back? While you were held captive to the thought he was still looking from you to your lips. The determination for you to understand his words and believe them setting soft lines in his face. You tried to keep looking at him, but under his watchful gaze you couldn’t keep yourself from fidgeting. Your eyes moved down the line of his body until it landed on the tops of your shoes.

You weren’t sure what to say back. Thank you didn’t fit here. It didn’t feel like a moment where he was trying to boost your confidence the way a friend did. This felt more like someone who noticed something in you while you hadn’t been looking.

So instead of saying anything remotely clever back you began to dislodge yourself from him. Your hands releasing their hold on his shirt and forcing his hand off of your hip. Standing there with only inches between you, your body was achingly aware that his hand was gone. It’s weight leaving a burning of longing to have it back forced your hands into your pockets and your body turning away from him. You waited for him to start moving back down the road. The motion forced him to either join you or stay where he was.

“We should get going before we run out of time.”

You hated yourself for dismissing him. For not being bolder like you’d promised yourself earlier in the day. It would’ve been the perfect time to thank him. To tell him how you were pretty sure there wasn’t a soul on earth more attractive than him, but that what made him beautiful is what he refused to let people see. The soft tone of his voice still singing along to the songs on the back of the bus had ended up being an unspoken lullaby when you’d gone to sleep.

A part of you considered turning on your heel and telling him this. To tell him that you saw him; actually saw him for who he was and not who he felt like he needed to be. But you just kept moving forward and weren’t surprised when Jungkook found a steady rhythm back beside you.

The both of you stayed quiet. This time it felt more forced than the easiness of earlier. Like the two of you had so many missed starts at creating a conversation that neither of you could understand why it ended.

You watched him as he focused on the area around him. His camera training on an old couple who sat waiting for the next bus. The husband had clutched his wife’s arm close to his side. In his hands he was peeling what appeared to be an orange and with each freshly peeled slice, he gave one to her and one to himself. No one knew what they were conversing about, but it didn’t matter. To them, they were the only two people there. The wholesomeness of the moment made you wonder what they were like back in their youth.

You listened to the flutter of the shutter click repeatedly. His hand twisting on the lens to bring it in and out of focus, while he himself remained deadly focused on capturing their moment in time. You were curious how the photos would turn out in the end and wished there was a way to show them how their love translated on film.

You were in the middle of watching Jungkook turn his attention to a couple birds inside a cherry blossom when he spoke.

“Thank you for agreeing to walk with me while I do this.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Jungkook.”

A sad smile curled his lips as he dropped his camera down in front of him. His thumb skimmed over the buttons to quickly go through what he’d previously taken. The last one he landed on made his entire face light up and you felt a pang of jealousy at what it could be. How you wish he would look at you like that.

“Maybe, but I feel like I do. Ever since my accident, my appa hasn’t been able to force me into things. For once, I get to just do what I want. Sucks it only had to cost me a friend and a leg to get some freedom.”

Your feet had carried you to the next stop sign. The sudden halt in moving forced you to look at him, really look at Jungkook, like you’d never seen him before.

He wasn’t looking at you now. His ears a screaming red while his fingers danced over every part of the camera. His eyes roaming over its edges and flicking too fast through pictures to actually even be looking at them. For the first time since you’d met him Jungkook was scared to look at you. Scared for what you might see if you did.

Looking at him now, you couldn’t have been happier to indulge him. You’d indulge him for the rest of your life if he’d let you.

“Well, I’m happy to be of service.”

You mentally smacked yourself at your choice of words. Jungkook, however, was backing to his beaming self as he finally glanced in your direction. His eyeing ate up your embarrassment as it was your turn to face forward. Your feet hopping in place as you waited for the light to flash it was okay to walk.

“I’m supposed to be at physical therapy right now.”

“Wait, what?”

The light was flickering finally for you to all move. Your feet moved to carry you forward unintentionally, just to keep with the flow of traffic, as Jungkook gave you a small shrug for an answer.

“Did you say you were supposed to be at physical therapy?”

Another shrug and another long pause with no answer. It seemed he had been waiting for you to round the corner onto a quieter pedestrian free street before he replied, “After school. I have appointments almost everyday and I never go.”

“But why? It’s meant to help you get better, isn’t it?”

“Get better to do what, exactly?” He huffed. Jungkook’s entire body took on a broodier tone. His cane practically dug small holes with each press into the pavement. “Who even says that I can get better?”

“Well, doctors for one,” you pointed out. “I’m sure they wouldn’t have signed you up for it if they didn’t believe you could get better.”

“If I was going to get better it would’ve happened already.”

It felt like walking on eggshells. This side of Jungkook was the boy you’d met on his first day of class. His guarded demeanor up on high alert, as he kept his gaze stoically forward and his chin held high.

“You’re not an idiot, Jungkook. You know injuries take time to heal from. It doesn't just magically happen overnight.”

“Who says that I want to get better?”

The coldness in his words forced your legs to stop working. Your feet were unable to move as he continued to push on ahead of you. His own movements became slower now as the long walk was beginning to take its toll on his leg. He knew you weren’t beside him anymore and still he tried to keep pushing forward, before eventually he had no other choice but to turn around.

The look on his face was as defiant as ever. Underneath that defiance was a sadness so raw you only wanted to reach out and hold him. If just to remind him that he was seen and that his pain mattered.

That’s when the realization hit you.

“Unless you feel like you deserve this.”

The stone façade he’d worked so hard to create in the past few minutes began to chip. His eyes being the first to show by the soft uprising of tears that you were right. Somewhere deep inside Jungkook believed that he deserved what happened to him. That this was punishment for losing a friend at his own hands, even if it wasn’t his fault to begin with.

The tears that threatened to spill never did, but they were there. They floated dangerously at the surface of Jungkook’s control and he refused to let go. The rawness of his pain hit you and all you wanted was to help ease it. You weren’t sure if he would accept any kind of affection, even in a small hug. So your only option was to move closer to him. As close as he would allow without pushing you away.

With each step you could see his jaw clenching tighter; pulsing like he was fighting from saying something wicked to send you skirting back. He was just as afraid of what you were about to do as you were at being the one to do it.

When the tips of your shoes nudged against his you drew your eyes up until they landed on his. A spark of something; fear or uncertainty, flashed in his eyes. Was he expecting you to be cruel? To yell at him to stop being a child and to grow up? How much had he already heard those words shouted by adults? How long had he been standing there like this, in a world full of grief, and no one there to pull him out to breathe before the next wave suffocated him once more.

You weren’t sure if it was you or if what you said would matter, but it was important he heard it. It was important he knew that this was okay too.

“You got to forgive yourself sometime, Jungkook.”

The words themselves were simple. Simple and spoken between you as if there was a secret meant only for the two of you to hear. All you really wanted was for him to feel the sincerity of your words for him to know it was okay. Okay to feel sad, unsure, and helpless at times when all the world felt against you. It was okay to not know your first steps and okay to take those first steps when you were ready. Eventually, we needed to forgive, if only to give ourselves the chance to heal and move on.

His gaze was still misty with unshed tears and still they refused to fall. The pain and defiance that had turned his features harsh began to soften. All that hardness he struggled to keep himself in and others out was beginning to fade and the only thing left was him. All that sunshine that you’d seen lived in his smile and echoed in his laughter that crinkled in the corners of his eyes. The way he cared for others and making them feel cared for. The softness of his singing and the way he eagerly filmed people at their most vulnerable: at their most beautiful.

It was at this moment you felt your universe shift and tip until it realigned itself. With your fingers back to holding the edges of his shirt it took everything in you not to close those final inches and hug him. Jungkook closed that distance for you instead.

His lips crashing down on your cheeks causing a soft squeak of surprise to push free from your lips. A chuckle came as he came back into view and your mind struggled to comprehend what happened.

It wasn’t a kiss on the lips but…

“Did you just kiss my cheek?”

Your hand was up to the aforementioned spot. A wicked smile wiping away all of his sadness until you weren’t sure if it had been real at all or if you’d imagined it.

“I could kiss your lips if you’d like that instead.”

If your cheeks could get any hotter you could’ve fried food on them. You felt a surge of disappointment when Jungkook took a reluctant step back from you as his eyes dropped to check the time on his phone.

“As much as I hate to say this: I have to go.”

“All of the sudden you have to go,” you huffed.

Your words felt brave, but inside your heart was thundering wildly against your chest.

“I could stay if you want?”

Smoother than expected, Jungkook slid his way back to you. His chest bumping against you making you lose your footing just enough that it forced you to grab on to his shirt. Jungkook’s own hand had moved behind your back to steady you and bring you closer to him all at once.

You playfully smacked his chest and earned a soft laugh from him. Unfortunately, you found yourself peeling away from him. Your hands grasping at the strap of your bag to keep them from reaching back out for him.

“Not a chance.”

Your reply earned a playful pout from him as he started walking backwards away from you.

“I’ll remember that, Y/N!”

You rolled your eyes and turned around to start walking the rest of the way home. You didn’t get more than a few feet before he called back to you. Your eyes found him instantly in a crowd of people that continued to pass in front of him.

“I forgot to ask: what’s your number!”

He held up a pen expecting you to come back to him and write it down presumably on his arm or hand. You didn’t see any paper and could only assume. You knew it was all just a ploy to get you to come to him. The knowledge evident by the wicked grin on his face.

“You’re a math wiz, right?” Jungkook was perplexed for a second before you started reciting your number as loud as you were willing to shout it. The wind blew it away as he no doubt struggled to listen.

“Wow! What a way to play dirty.”

“If it’s meant to be you’ll figure it out.”

And maybe that was true. Maybe you both had a chance to write your own love story like from the movies and shows you used to watch with your mom. Like Rose and Jack from Titanic or Ross and Rachel...okay...maybe more like Chandler and Monica. Or maybe you were an idiot and should’ve just gone and wrote it down. It was too late now as he was already on the other side of the street.

You were ready to walk the rest of the way kicking yourself for being so lame when you heard him call your name again. When you turned you didn’t expect him to be trotting across the road. You didn’t expect him to stop in front of you and give you another quick kiss on the cheek, this one gentler than before, with every fiber of your body remembering just how soft his lips felt.

“I could fall in love with you, ya know.”

You watched as in the same breath he hopped back across the street and couldn’t help but think you already had.

————-

Later that night you were snuggled up inside the sheets of your bed. The only thing sticking out was the current book you were reading and the top of your head.

You hadn’t heard from Jungkook the rest of the day. Your heart hammered inside your chest every time your phone chimed with a new message only to deflate when you realized it wasn’t him. You loved your friends and all, but they weren’t who you’d been looking forward to all evening.

Maybe you should’ve just gone to him and written down your number. Like a normal human being would’ve done. You just had to be clever and yell it out like a lunatic. For all you knew, you could end up with a random stranger texting you at all hours.

Your current book that you were supposed to be reading but couldn’t really read because you couldn’t focus was now face planted onto your nose. A soft groan echoing into its pages as you fought not to close it and throw it somewhere in your room. You were a hundred percent sure you’d read the same sentence a few dozen times at this point.

In the morning, you decided, you most definitely were just going to write it down. Like a sane person would’ve done. You closed your book and placed it down beside you. Your eyes roaming up to stare at your ceiling and wondering if you were ever actually going to go to sleep when your phone chimed off.

You weren’t in any hurry to look. It could just be your parents from the restaurant making sure you were in bed. It could be one of your friends asking about making plans this weekend. It was probably still everyone but Jungkook and yet…

Your curiosity got the better of you. You shuffled inside your comforter, reached an arm out to grab your phone from the nightstand, and quickly pulled it back inside. You waited for your facial ID to unlock the screen to see who or what you’d received. Your own mind hyping up the suspense of the moment until it read over a reminder text from your dad about your chores for the upcoming weekends.

You hated you’d let yourself have even a glimmer of hope. It was official. You’d ruined your chances when it came to giving out your number. A groan was creeping its way up your throat as you quickly sent back a text. You knew your chores took over almost every weekend. Even when you’d made plans with friends, you’d ended up never going.

As soon as you’d hit send you were rolling over to put your phone back on your nightstand. The shrill sound of pinging messages stopped you cold. There was no way your dad had learned to text back that fast. You laid yourself flat back against the mattress and brought the phone to hover above your face.

Y/N?

Is this the right number finally?

Hello?!!

If this is the wrong person, I’m sorry. I swear I’m not crazy. Just looking for a girl.

Your heart leapt into your throat. It was beating so hard you were scared it would burst from your chest. Your eyes were still skimming over the line of text messages when another one sounded. You were so caught up in reading the next line you weren’t aware your clammy fingers had let the phone slip and it crash landed down on your face.

“Ooow!”

One hand scrambled to pick it back up off your face, while the other massaged the now swelling brim of your nose.

How many people have you texted before me?

There wasn’t a need to send a hi. To give him a coy response to continue to tease him or make him believe he’d gotten it wrong again. Your curiosity at the desperate way he seemed to have been looking for you was endearing. The thought that he’d spent so much time sending out random messages for a response, no matter how crazy he looked, felt silly but cute too.

Jungkook thought you were worth the trouble.

OH MY GOD IS IT REALLY YOU?! And maybe like... seventeen.

You snuggled deeper into your comforter as a soft giggle joined the growing smile across your face.

I’m sorry I should have just wrote it down when you offered the pen lol

It definitely would’ve made it a lot easier.

You’d asked yourself that question all evening while you’d waited for him. You bit your lips as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. Unsure if you should take the chance and tell him.

“Screw it,” you whispered as you typed.

Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting forever.

Well, I’m sorry to keep you waiting. This girl thought it was a good idea to shout random numbers at me 😅😂.

Your head was shaking as you tried to figure out something witty to say. You couldn’t believe you were here. Inside your comforter cave smiling at your phone like a lunatic and wondering if maybe Jungkook was doing the same. Or what was he even doing? You were getting ready to type out that exact question when your phone pinged to life.

So, ugh, on to more important matters. It read. I was thinking about your love of random facts and I think I got one for you.

Ooooooo kekeke this should be good

Do you want to know it or not?

Okay okay! Lol please tell me Kookie

You could practically feel him screaming through your phone as a sideways glance emoji was sent back in a long lined response. You wondered if you’d completely ruined his fact telling when your phone went off.

I found this article that said the chances of finding your soulmate out of 500,000,000 people was impossible. But, if you just place it to where you are, to your age group, and timing it narrows it down to a 1 in 10,000 chance. What I’m trying to get at is...I think your my 1 in 10,000

You read the message on repeat. Over and over until you were sure you’d practically memorized it front and back. You wanted to ask him for his source material. Where such an article could exist. None of that really mattered to you and how could it?

You must have spaced out because you never sent him a reply. Your thoughts were still spinning in a world all their own as you wondered if he was sitting at his desk doing homework or lying in bed. If he was inside or outside and what had made him so brave to send that message: believing you felt the same.

The vibration of the phone brought you back down to earth. You expected to see question marks or another line of, “Hello?” To have left him on read. Instead, the only thing that greeted you was a simple, Goodnight, Y/N.

This time there was no hesitation from you.

Goodnight, Jungkook

See you in the morning ?

His text felt so hopeful. A silent undertone that if you said no there was a chance you’d break him. You bit your lip as you thought about what this meant. The beginning of small promises that eventually grew into bigger ones.

I’ll meet you at the gate

You both finished up with another round of good night’s that felt like the embarrassing texting equivalent of “no you hang up! No you!” And placed your phone back on your night stand. It took forever for the sandman to finally claim you. Your dreams consisting of the magic of being Jungkook’s 1 in 10,000.

310 notes · View notes

donutloverxo · 4 years ago

Text

Make me

*gif is not mine*

The donut series - Part 8

Note - Idk wtf this is... Lol! Hopefully I can complete this series before the year ends. Just 2 or 3 more parts now.

Thank you so so much to @firefly-graphics for the cute dividers💖💖

Summary - You move into the tower with Steve.

Warnings - 18+ only please, smut (m/f), soft dom Steve, daddy kink, captain kink, praise kink, orgasm denial, spanking, punishments, Steve is pushy and possessive, some angst, (lemme know if I missed any)

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 5.2k

Series masterlist

“What do you think you’re doing?!” You jerked when you heard Steve’s voice calling out to you, dropping your lipstick on your lap, your heart hammering in your chest.

You stared at his reflection in the dressing mirror. “God, Steve,” looking over your shoulder you glared at him, “Don’t you think you shouldn’t be sneaking up on me? Especially after everything that happened.”

His face immediately soften, muttering an apology to you, “But you’re not going out today.” He said in a tone that left no room for negotiation.

But you weren’t one of his agents or one to be bossed around. “And you get to tell me what to do, because?” folding your arms over your chest and mimicking his stance.

“Sweetheart, come on, don’t argue with me. It’s still dangerous for you out there.”

“What do you mean? I thought you arrested those guys. Who else would be after me?” you frowned.

He takes two long strides, standing before you and taking your hand in his “Clint has been interrogating them all night. They’ll crack soon enough and give up who they’re working for but we need to be careful till then.”

You sighed, “How long do you think it will be?”

“I don’t know, doll. Hopefully not too long.”

“Well, I can’t just stay locked up forever. Besides a locked door isn’t going to stop Hydra, I mean it didn’t the first time. So really what difference does it make if I’m in college or at home?”

“About that,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “how would you feel about moving into the Avengers tower?”

“What?” you blinked. You had heard of the Avengers living and working from the Avengers/Stark tower. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that Steve would possibly live there as well, but for some reason it did. “For how long?”

“Uh, we can give it a try and see how it goes?” he hesitated. He should’ve asked you to move there as soon as you told him you felt unsafe. The whole incident could’ve easily been avoided.

“I mean I wouldn’t mind living there, I think,” you shrugged, “it’s you I’m worried about.”

“What do you mean?” he tilted his head to the side, like a cute little puppy.

You got up from the chair, looping your hands over his neck and playing with the little hair on the nape of his neck, “You’re so cute and clueless, baby,” you cooed.

He huffed at that, puffing out his chest to show you how ‘macho' he is. Completely capable of protecting his girl from big bad guys no matter what.

“I just felt the tower is so unlike you. It’s so...”

Modern--was the word you were looking for, but that seemed too on the nose so you tried to think of a better adjective. You had only ever been to the tower a few times. The first was to make a delivery, when you met Steve for the first time, and then a few times at parties and little get-togethers. It was strange to think that you were part of the Avengers inner circle now, especially if you’re going to be living with them.

“So what?” he wanted to know.

“Just so not you, Stevie. I can’t imagine you living there.”

“We should’ve moved long ago. As soon as you told me about the stalker. I should’ve taken it more seriously.”

“Hey,” you traced his sharp cheekbone, “it’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. Except the ones who did the kidnapping,” you scrunched up your nose, “they’ll get what’s coming to them though, right?”

“Of course, they’ll never hurt you or anyone else ever again,” he promised, kissing the inside of your wrist.

You kept looking at your watch. A gift from your mum for your high school graduation. It had a vintage feel to it, the thin leather strap making your hand look to delicate, Steve had always said that he liked it the best. He always did like you looking small compared to him.

The elevator dinged, “Exactly four minutes.”

“Hm?” he asked, lacing his fingers with yours as he walked towards ‘his' apartment. Or the apartment that was supposed to be his.

Tony had offered him boarding there when the tower was reconstructed months ago. He thought about it but eventually said no upon seeing just how big the apartment was.

Hell he had a whole floor to himself, which was too extravagant for him. He was used to taking only what he needed, if that.

More than that though...

You caught him looking at you, sparing him a sweet smile that crinkled your sparkling eyes.

More than that he didn’t want to live in such a large space all alone.

He would never share that with anyone, they’d laugh at Captain America being too scared of being alone. When he had the love and adoration of the whole world, a second chance at life and everything one could need to be happy.

But he still couldn’t bear the deafening silence of his lonely apartment. He’d get home from work, switch on the television so he’d have something to talk about with his colleagues, sip on a beer. It didn’t necessarily get him drunk or even taste all that great but it made him feel normal.

He never had to think about being alone in a strange new world all that much since he was often too busy. But he absolutely would not have an entire floor to himself. He’d surely go crazy.

“Four minutes for the elevator to get up here from the ground floor. It’s so high,” you marvelled at the view the floor to ceiling windows gave you.

“Yeah. They really should put some music there. They used to, back in my day,” he shared.

He wasn’t afraid of talking about his past with you. You never made fun of him for it, but instead listened intently and nodded. At most you’d tease him a bit... but he kinda liked that.

He punched in the code to his apartment, telling it to you, “Your birthday,” he winked, “it’s changed every twenty-hour hours.”

“That seems a bit excessive. This place is like a fortress, I doubt anybody could break in.”

He held the door open for you as you entered. Surprised to find the apartment already furnished.

“How did they manage to do all this so soon?” you wondered. Running your hands on the leather of the couch in the middle of the living.

The dark couch went well with the hardwood floors. A tall bookshelf to the side, it felt almost like a study, your fears of it being too modern and minimalistic for Steve’s taste were null, too masculine for your taste though. It seemed a lot like Steve’s old apartment. “Needs a woman’s touch.”

“You can decorate it however you like,” he said, hugging you from behind, he propped his chin up on your head.

“I don’t know... I don’t have any experience decorating apartments...” your voice small, scared of not being able to live up to his expectations. “Certainly wouldn’t do as good a job as you did,” your back leaned into his front.

“I didn’t decorate this, honey,” he chuckled. “Tony hired an interior designer. A few months ago but I didn’t want to live here then. We can ask him to call her again and then you can talk to her.”

“No, I don’t want to cause trouble. And it’s not like we’re living here for long,” you shrugged.

“What do you mean?” his voice stiff and although you couldn’t look at him you just knew he was frowning.

“Isn’t it a bit too soon to move in together?”

“But we were already living together.”

You sighed, “Yeah, but making renovations seems too... permanent?”

“You don’t want us to be permanent?”

You turned around, your heart aching at even the thought of hurting him, “That’s not what I meant, love... Isn’t it weird to live where you work?”

“It’s better this way. I can get home to you sooner,” he argued.

“Well, I suppose that’s true.”

“Are you having second thoughts about us?” he asked.

You immediately shook your head, “It’s a bit intimidating, but nope, no second thoughts.”

“That’s good then.”

You often dreamt all things Steve ever since you started dating him. Marrying him, even having a little boy wearing a mini Captain America suit for Halloween who looked eerily similar to Steve. You called him James after Steve’s late friend, you hadn’t told him about that though.

This morning you were dreaming of being whisked away in Italy, having your wedding to him by lake Como. You were wearing a traditional forties style gown, much like the one your grandma wore at your wedding.

Scrunching your nose as you were pulled from your beautiful dream when you felt something wet on your cheek. Rubbing it away with your palm, you moaned.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” Steve cooed, peppering kisses all over your face. Knowing that to be the best way to calm you before you snapped at him for waking you up so early.

You opened your eyes, rubbing your sleep away, “It’s still dark... I thought we agreed I’m doing school online,” you turned away from him, nuzzling your face into your pillow. “What time is it?”

“It’s five.”

“Pm?”

He snorted, “No. AM.”

“Oh my god, Steve!” you groaned, “What is wrong with you? That’s like...the middle of the night. Let me sleep in peace.”

“We have to train you. Come on I’ll teach you some self defense moves, it’ll be fun.”

“I doubt any amount of training will make me capable of fighting off hydra...”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t try,” he interrupted you, “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“Maybe in the evening.”

“Morning is the best time to do it. Come on, it’ll be fun! Besides, we always do your thing.”

He did often let you pick the movie or drag him shopping so he could hold your bags and pay for your stuff. You knew he liked to work out and would like to have you do it with him. The only problem was--you literally couldn’t think of anything worse to do.

“Square your shoulders, honey,” he instructed as you followed, seeing an opening to punch him in his stomach, and because you were mad about being woken up at literally the crack of dawn you took it.

He managed to dodge it, obviously. And even had the nerve to be cocky about it as he smirked at you. “You’re so small, puppy,” he teased, patting your head.

You huffed, being almost a foot shorter than him. “Whatever.”

And then you recalled all the times you had wrestled your cousin, who was much bigger than you, when you were kids. Remembering a move that often worked on him.

You launched towards Steve, holding onto his midsection and trying to tackle him to the ground.

“Urgh!” you groaned but he refused to move even an inch.

Eventually you did give up, if only so you could stop embarrassing yourself. Helping, or rather just standing to the side and watching Steve as he punched the shit out of a bag.

“Go, Steve!” you cheered. Rubbing your thighs together at the sight of him all sweaty and of his bulging muscles. “You should bring me down here more often,” you sighed dreamily.

“Will do,” he smirked, pulling the velcro of his gloves, “Come on, it’s time to do some crunches, I’ll spot you.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No, please,” you tried to run away, even though you knew it’d be of no use, but he effectively caught you and made you lie down on the mat. Giving you a goal of two sets of twenty frigging crunches.

“I hate you,” you grumbled. Willing yourself to pull your upper body up despite the slight pain in your side, moving up as Steve pecked your lips. To give you an ‘incentive’.

“Stop lying, I know you love me,” he smiled.

Lying back on the mat after your first set, on the verge of giving up but Steve kept insisting that you go on.

You looked down at him. His skin barely had a sheen of sweet, blond strands kissing his forehead. He still had an amber glow to his skin even as you got closer to the winter months.

“You’re staring, sweetheart,” he reminded you.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t help myself.” Often getting lost in his beauty.

You smirked as you got a wicked idea, putting your legs over his, straddling his hips, “Have you ever wanted to do something in public?” you asked, as he simply stared up at you, completely dumbfounded. Rolling your hips against his, “I have, it’ll be fun and thrilling.”

“I... No,” he blinked, shaking his head, “We shouldn’t,” but even as he said it, he held onto your sides, pulling you closer to him. You giggled as you felt his hard cock pressing against your thigh.

“Oh my god, guys, come on.”

You yelped, holding onto Steve’s shoulders to keep from falling, looking to your side to see where the voice came from.

“We could come back if you want...” Natasha said. She didn’t look fazed by it at all, unlike her friend.

“No, we are not coming back! This is not what you use the gym for, Rogers.”

You looked at Steve, who was as red as a tomato, “Sorry,” he got up, helping you up as well, standing behind you to cover up his erection, he introduced you to his friend, “This is Sam.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sam gave you a nervous smile.

“We should get going,” Steve said, pushing you towards the exit. “That’s a sneaky way to get out of training,” he whispered in your ear as you walked back to the elevator, “It won’t work again,” pinching you butt, making you squeal.

“We’ll see.”

You hummed as you looked at your side of the closet, which was as big as your old living room, it looked as if you didn’t really have enough stuff to fill it out. You looked over at Steve’s side, even more empty... and “So boring,” you whispered under your breath.

“Right?” Tony nodded, as if agreeing with you.

Why he was there in the first place you didn’t know. You didn’t invite him, neither did Steve, he had said he just wanted to see how well you both were fitting in. With Steve gone for the most part of the past couple of days you were on your own to unpack everything.

Tony said he’d help you... but you had a feeling he was just snooping.

“What a grandfather sense of fashion he has,” he looked at your poor Steve’s shirts in disgust.

You took offense to that. “If anyone can pull it off, he can,” you huffed. Nobody insults your man.

“Really?” he quirked a brunette brow, “I don’t think so. I mean... I could probably. I can pull off anything,” he boosted.

“I mean, you could try them on if you like, but they’re probably too big for you,” you taunted him in mock sympathy.

“Ouch, guess I deserve that,” he said as he went through the box you had stuffed your make up in.

“What are you even looking for?” you pulled it away from him, glaring at him, “Don’t you have a company to run or a world to save?”

“Hey, Steve was the one who asked me to keep you company,” he held his hands up.

“Really?”

“Well, he asked Nat, which is basically the same as asking me. So I volunteered. He wasn’t happy about that though,” you smacked his hand away when he tried to pry into another box.

“Why would you volunteer?” Steve may have good intentions but having the billionaire hovering over you was only making you irritated.

“... to hang out I guess,” he confessed when he couldn’t really think of anything else to say.

You giggled, “If you wanted to be my friend you could’ve just said so!”

“No... no,” he shook his head, “I didn’t say anything about wanting to be friends.”

He was just curious about you. To figure out what Caps taste is. And to maybe get some hot goss about him. Not that being friends with you sounds like the end of the world, you certainly weren’t as insufferable as Cap.

“What would you like to do, fren?” you fluttered your lashes at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be packing?”

“I’m bored of being cooped up. Lets do something fun!”

Steve smiled, a wide cheeky one, as he thought of all the things he could do with you and spend the remainder of his day with you. His stomach doing somersaults in giddiness.

“I could get used to this,” he said to himself before calling out for you. The thought of coming home to you everyday, so domestic and romantic. His smile dropping as he looked for you in the bedroom, the boxes sat scattered and unopened. All over the room.

He knew you were in the apartment before he even heard your voice, his super senses alerting him, “Oh, Steve!” you perked up. Giggling as you put your shopping bags down. “So, I might’ve made an oopsie.”

Plumping down on the fluffy bed, large enough to fit two Steve’s and still have room for you, taking off your real Louboutins. Since Steve gave you his card, you decided you wanted to treat yourself to them. But they were equally as uncomfortable as the fake ones.

“What?” he quirked a brow, his hands on his hips as he despondently shook his head.

“Well, Tony pointed out that your wardrobe is kinda...” you thought of a adjective that wouldn’t be offensive, biting your lip as you went through your vocabulary, “Old-ish?” when he didn’t reply you kept going, “and I might’ve maxed out your card... Tony offered to pay! But it didn’t feel right,” you jutted your bottom lip out, pushing your titts up together in an attempt to look cute.

“You went out? When I specifically asked you not to?” a rage simmering in his voice--which you didn’t quite like. Because who the fuck was he to talk to you like that?

“I had Iron Man with me. I think I was okay. You’re being annoying,” you rolled your eyes.

“Am I?” his hands now folded over his chest.

And you’d be frustrated with him acting as if he was your dad, sure you called him daddy but that didn’t give him the right to have authority over you while you weren’t naked, if he didn’t look so fucking good. With the veins propping on his forearms, light blond hair littered over it, his watch strapped on his wide wrist. You only stared him down in response.

“It would’ve been better if you had went alone instead. Tony is nothing but trouble,” he scoffed.

“I thought you wanted me to make friends with your team,” you countered.

“Are my clothes too embarrassing for you? Am I too old for you?” he tried to keep his voice from wavering, to hide some of his vulnerability, but he couldn’t, not to you anyway. “Is that why you didn’t tell your family about me?”

You gaped at him. That was the reason you hadn’t told your mom. She’d point out the obvious reasons, as she had just like you expected, him being from the forties would just make things harder for you both.

“I - ” you started but then stopped, “I like your clothes as they are. If you don’t like what I got you then we can return them. I just wanted to do something nice for you,” getting up and then walking towards him, kissing his jaw and stroking his arms to calm him, “you never think about yourself, I wanted to do that for you.”

“I wish that was true, doll,” he replied gravely. His lips pressed in a thin line as he looked at your sweet face, “But you have to apologize. For not following my orders.”

You snorted, taking a step back, “For the last time--you cannot order me around. I don’t care that you think you know what’s best.”

“Really? I’ve been working my ass off on trying to find the guys that did this to you and you are just hell bent on making my life harder,” he let out a dry chuckled, “say your sorry.”

“Make me.”

You regretted the words as soon as they came out of you, before you knew it he had you hauled over his lap, ready to spank an apology out of you.

“Ah!” you yelped at the unceremonious blow.

You did like it when he spanked you, you truly didn’t know why, but it made your pussy quiver. And honestly he didn’t do it enough. Only doing it once when you were late and weren’t able to call him.

Slapping your covered bottom a second time before stopping when he heard you moan, slipping a palm under your dress, being purposely slow to draw it out for you, to torture you in his own way, he pushed your panties aside, swirling your juices around your lips.

“You’re fucking enjoying this,” he growled.

You whimpered when he rolled your bundle of nerves between his fingers, nodding your head, already feeling yourself tethering on the edge.

“That’s too bad... I’ll have to be more creative,” he said as he withdrew his hand, making you writhe in his hold.

You looked at him over your shoulder, wiggling your butt to try to entice him before huffing when he simply stared at you, stoic as ever, “You’re no fair!”

“I’m doing this to be fair, sweetheart. I don’t enjoy it anymore than you do.”

A blatant, clear-cut, shameless lie. You both knew it. He loved thinking of ways to ‘punish' and executing them.

“What are you doing?” you asked as he placed you over his lap, your back to his broad front, his fingers working on the zipper of your dress. Pushing the sleeves down your shoulders.

“I’m going to fuck you till you admit that you’re sorry,” since he had no patience for insolence, placing a dubiously sweet and innocent kiss to your cheek.

“In your dreams,” you retorted but then shivered in his arms you let him roll your panties down your thick thighs, lifting up your hips to help him out, leaving you completely bare against him.

You bashfully rubbed your face against his button up, you felt his heart beating steadily, as his hands shamelessly explored your body. Grabbing and kneading at your breasts and hips, tracing the stretch marks on your thighs.

“Aren’t you gonna take your clothes off too?” you made yourself small.

You weren’t afraid of being so vulnerable before him, you had gotten used to it because you trusted him enough to not be intimidated by his perfect physique, but right now your whole body felt hot as you just wanted to cover up and give yourself some sort of modesty. Even if your desires and yearning for him was anything but modest.

“No, honey,” he answered, his fingers parting your weeping lips as he looked down to get a glance of it over your shoulders. Licking his lips at the sight of it, “Such a pretty pussy, doll. And all mine,” he rasped as he prodded at your hole with his middle finger before pushing it in, “Isn’t it?”

“Yes,” you nodded, trying to roll your hips over the erection pressing into your back.

He stilled your movements by holding onto your hips, warning you to stop, “Forever?” he urged.

“Yes, forever, god, just do something!” you wailed. Because whatever he was doing was not enough to satisfy you.

He hummed in thought, “I’m not a young guy. I prefer to take my time,” he pushed another finger in, stretching you out by viscously scissoring your cunt, all the while kissing your hair and your face.

He wasn’t someone who took only what he needed.

He didn’t need you.

Although it often seem to him as if you were like air--impossible to live without. He didn’t need you to live.

But he wanted you. More than anything else in the whole world.

He knew he shouldn’t keep you. Only being with you for a few months and he had almost gotten you killed but there was no way he could help himself.

“I’m selfish,” he whispered to you, pausing his ministrations to ruin your climax, “I’m selfish with you. I’m not as good as everyone makes me out to be,” he confessed. He didn’t know if it was right to do so, but he didn’t want to even consider the other option of letting you go.

“I figured out long ago that you weren’t all that good and boring,” you cried as he stopped again. Your hand holding onto his wrist as your sensitive cunt gushing juices of arousal all over your brand new sheets. “But I’m good, aren’t I, daddy?” you whispered, sultrily. “You can make me come--I’m always good to you. I promise I’ll suck you off after.”

“No.”

Tears welled up in your eyes at his rejection, he had never done that to you. To deny you so easily and bluntly. You thought he was the one person in this whole world who would do anything for you, you could ask for the moon and he’d probably try to give it to you.

Was he really that mad at you?

Your bottom lip quivering as tears welled up in your eyes, “You’re so mean,” you accused, loudly sniffing as you felt a tear drop down your cheek.

He blinked, his fingers stopping their assault on your swollen pussy as he took in your words. You could stomp all over his heart, even shoot him, do anything you want to him, he’d forgive you for it but he absolutely could not bear to see you cry.

“No, pup,” he cooed, gently removing his fingers as you whined, he kissed your forehead as he hushed you, “it’s okay, you’re okay, shush,” one hand under your neck and circling another under your knees, cradling your naked body close to his chest like a babe, he rocked you back and forth in an effort to sooth you.

“I’m sorry I was mean,” he whispered into your hair.

“You broke your pinky promise,” you held onto his neck. You were angry with him and at the situation but your body craved the comfort his gave you. “I can’t trust you now.”

His heart ached at that, “Don’t say that,” he furrowed his brows, kissing you all over your face, “I didn’t yell, puppy.”

“But you got mad,” you puffed your cheeks.

“I didn’t promise to not get mad. That’s a bit unrealistic...”

“No, you promised--no yelling, curing or meanness. Not calling me your 'good girl' or letting me come is mean! And cruel,” you reminded him, whimpering into his chest.

“Right, right. I’m sorry, that’s my fault then. I got a bit carried away... I thought you liked that you know?”

You hummed. You did like it when Steve was a bit rough, but you always knew he loved you with all his heart because you could see it in his eyes. The way he’d praise you for being so good for him, calling you his one and only, that he could never love anyone as much as he loves you.

But when he didn’t say that to you, when he refused to call you good, your soft heart couldn’t take the rejection.

“I do... but...” you hid your face in his neck.

“But what?” he urged you.

“But I also like knowing that you love me,” you spoke against his prickly stubble.

“Of course I love you. I’m sorry I made you think I didn’t, even for a second. You’re my sweet girl, forever and always,” he promised, rocking you some more, until your breathing becomes normal and steady again.

“You’re my daddy forever too,” you giggled, “or Captain, whatever you prefer.”

“If I had to pick I’d say Steve,” he told you. While it was nice to have you call him sweet name, nobody really uses his given name anymore. To have you call him that in your sweet girly voice, reminding him that he could be just Steve with you, was exhilarating.

“Okie, Stevie then.”

“Right, how about I draw you a bath? Afterwards we can go over the things you got me,” he perked up.

“You don’t have to wear them if you’re not comfortable.”

“I know, pup, but I want to. I want to get with the times. Can’t have anyone making fun of you for dating an old man,” he teased, swaying you some more.

“Hm, but...”

“But what?”

“I... um... still wanna come, so bad,” you whispered softly, rubbing your thighs together. “Will you make me come, Stevie?”

“Yes,” he replied immediately, “how would you like me to?”

“I wanna come around you,” you stated as heat rushed to your cheeks. “And I am sorry. I probably should’ve told you before going with Tony.”

“I know you’ve been cooped up, honey. I’m going to take a few days off so we can do whatever you like,” he said, working on unbuckling his belt, “But before that, I need to take care of my sweet girl, just like she does for me.”

Your hands feebly pulling at his button up, he took your queue and rid himself of it, along with his undershirt as your hands explored the expanse of his broad chest.

Pulling his length out, he manoeuvred your body till you over him, “Guide me in, sweetheart,” he instructed as you whimpered.

Grabbing the base of his cock, coating your slick in his pre ejaculate, you slowly sunk down on him. Not being able to fit all of him in, because he was as thick as a can of pringles, and oh so long.

You looked at him, too anxious to disappoint him, “Can’t fit it all in,” you whined.

“It’s okay, doll,” he stroked your back. “We’ll make it fit some other day,” he pecked your lips, lying on his back and pulling you down with him he snaked a hand between your bodies, working your clit up with his hand till he felt you convulsing and clenching around his length, gripping him so tight as you squirmed in his hold.

Whispering sweet nothings to you as you calmed down from your high. You wanted to do something for him too, to make him come, so you grinded your hips over his, shivering at the sick squelching sounds your joined sexes made.

But he stopped you by gripping your hips, “How about you just keep me warm for now?” he asked.

You hummed, “It’ll be hard...” to have him just stay inside you, and you knew he could stay hard for hours if he wanted to, and for you to not be able to do anything about it...

“I know it will be. But you’re my good girl, you can do that for me, right?” he tipped your chin up to make you look at him.

“Yes, Stevie,” you agreed.

Laying your head back on his chest, muttering a ‘sorry' whenever you accidentally clenched around him and following his orders like a good girl would.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤❤

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

#the donut series #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years ago

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Idk if you addressed this already but: Fitz is an asshole.

I'm rereading the books and he is horrible to Sophie! He blamed her when Alden's mind broke, got really upset that Sophie wouldn't tell him that Oralie was her mom and broke up with her because of it... I might forgetting some things (I'm rereading really slow and am only at the beginning of Exile...) but that's most of what I remember

And he also chose to ignore when Sophie was calling for help when she was kidnapped so...

Also they're kind of weird? Sophie and Dex could've stayed at that cafe (where there a lot of people and they definitely wouldn't be attracted again) until she got her strength back to contact literally anyone or maybe wait until morning to look for that lantern?

I really liked the series when I first read it but now I'm noticing some weird stuff here...

i've definitely talked about Fitz before, but it's been a while so I don't remember what i've said either, nonsie! Also: apologies for the delay, got a little sidetracked with a few others things before getting to this ask

I will preface this by saying I have a more positive opinion of him, which will affect what I say. I do entirely respect your position and interpretation of his character despite having a different opinion of him. For me, it's less that Fitz is an asshole and more that he's a person and doesn't know what he's doing. He's not intentionally hurting the people around him and refusing to change--in Legacy he told Sophie that he was working on his anger and the way he reacted to things.

that's not to say that the way he treated Sophie was okay, blaming her for Alden's mind break and trying to get information from her she'd clearly stated she didn't want to share and had asked him to leave alone.

I will say for me that it feels almost unfair to judge Fitz's values based on frantic, chaotic decisions he did during one of the most emotionally challenging and turbulent times of his life. When Alden's mind broke he was devastated and it was a very low point in his life--same for Biana, although in a different way--so I like to also look at how he behaves when he's composed and rational.

I do entirely agree with you about his demanding of information about Sophie's mom being unfair an uncalled for. I can understand why he did it (i think i've talked about that before but if not I'd be happy to do so!), but just because it makes sense to me why he did it doesn't mean it was appropriate or right. Sophie made it very clear that was information she didn't want to share and he just kept pushing--those scenes were so uncomfortable to read because it was like he had this idea that the one piece of information she was keeping from him would fix everything and he was desperate to have it, idolizing it. it felt like for a moment he was prioritizing their relationship in the view of the public over her very real thoughts and feelings about it privately

also i think it's interesting that we as a fandom have two main "complaints" (unsure what else to call them) when it comes to Fitz: he got angry at sophie over something she couldn't control, and he often pushes/tests her boundaries. The first of which--the anger--had a major moment in the plot (alden's mind break) that he later went on to directly correct. The second--the thing with oralie and wanting information she didn't want to share--has happened but hadn't been resolved/learned from. We have another book(s) coming, so I wonder if he'll learn directly from their break-up and realize he's been testing Sophie's boundaries and address that directly too. he learns from his mistakes, so I would expect that this would be an opportunity for him to step back and figure out where he messed up here (not that he's the only one who's capable of wrongs).

but moving on! i will say ignoring her when she was presumed dead and had an entire funeral does feel more like he was grieving and thought he was imagining her voice over just being rude and ignoring her. everyone straight up thought she'd drowned and things like what happened to Sophie and Dex were unheard of until that point. i don't think it even crossed his mind that they could still be alive somewhere. Him ignoring her was also convenient for the plot because it left Sophie and Dex stranded, so it's possible that part was pushed a little more specifically so the later Neverseen interactions could happen.

also, you're completely right! there are so many different and smarter ways Sophie and Dex could've handled that situation, and it can be infuriating from a reader perspective--especially when you're someone like me who operates almost entirely on facts and logic and reasonble deductions--to see characters charge in almost blindly without taking stock of their situation. I think maybe things played out the way that they did specifically because sophie couldn't reach anyone, even if she'd been at her best. the only times she did manage to contact fitz were in pure desperation--while she was being tortured and while she was fading. otherwise she couldn't reach out--the transmission she sent out when on the bridge with the neverseen didn't actually get to anyone, it was only noted that it was really loud.

so as far as the two of them were concerned, they were completely on their own and no one would ever come for them, meaning they had to get back themselves. and they wanted to do that sooner rather than later. and that's how they ended up wandering paris by themselves--and their plan would've worked had the Neverseen not shown up and the most inconvenient time possible, which wasn't exactly something they could plan for in the same way

you brought up a lot of good points and topics on both fitz's character and the whole kidnapping situation, so thank you for giving me a chance to talk about it! I know i was a little biased going in with a slight fondness for Fitz--I don't idolize any of the characters but I do have neutral/positive thoughts about most of them--so it's really refreshing to hear another perspective. To clarify: i'm not trying to change your mind or tell you you're wrong in any way! you just inspired a few thoughts related to the topic and I wanted to talk about them. Hopefully I didn't sound dismissive or condescending in any way, as that was absolutely not my intention. But thank you for the ask!

#i know Fitz's character is kind of a hot topic at the moment #what with the disastrous end to the relationship that Sophie and Fitz haven't really talked out entirely and worked through #and there's more content coming #so i'm sure his development isn't over #but i tried to be respectful and just share some of my thoughts based on what you said!#don't know if i achieved that but that was my goal #fitz can make some shitty emotionally driven impulse decisions sometimes #but I do think he's more than that #if that makes sense #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker #kotlc character analysis #quil's queries #nonsie #anonymous #long post #tw swearing

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devildamn · 4 years ago

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Well If I Can’t Have You

(A conversation between Lucifer and MC before the harem is official. They/them pronouns. second POV mixed with Third. Oof it’s a mess, idk how to write for ambiguous mcs lol im so new at this ;w;

Nobody gave me any prompts but I so badly wanna write for this fandom before I lose interest, so I just wrote the first idea I had -^-” Asks are still open and appreciated <3 More personal thoughts at the end.)

He asked you to be his,

With a confident smile and a relaxed pose, his eyes never wavered. His request was more of an insinuation to a predetermined conclusion.

Of course, you immediately declined.

This made him stiffen. He furrowed his brow.

"What possible reason could you have to deny me?"

Well, he was quite rude for starters. And those death threats never helped. He's sadistic. Controlling. Everything about him romantically rubbed you so wrong.

At the many insults, he was quick to bristle. You strategically reign in your list of things you dislike, to paint a bigger picture.

You know he is the most powerful of the brothers. You know of his achievements. He's responsible, dedicated, and sometimes, he shows a sweeter side that could melt anyone's heart.

Just not yours.

You already have a favorite.

Lucifer released a sigh. He moved from his spot to take a few steps back. He already suspected, but this was still a blow to his pride. To lose to someone else. To lose to him, specifically.

He couldn't accept such a thing.

So, he'd suggest a compromise instead.

"You may keep your favorite. Or try to. You see, it’s not that simple….”

It’s your turn to cross your arms.

What was he talking about?

“As you may have guessed by now... Our family is quite close. We’ve lived together for so long, after all. We argue, we fight, we make up, we… share. "

Alright, and?

He grins and stands before you. His hand brushes your cheek.

"You'll never be left alone. Not if you chose any of us as your partner. We are not just a family. We are a body. We’ve never been apart for long because we know we’d never be whole if one leaves. We’ll always seek them out and bring them back.”

You narrow your eyes. You know where this is going, and you hate it. It makes Lucifer smiles wider.

“How unfortunate for you, to love one of us. But it’s not too late! You haven’t confessed anything yet, right?”

You’re pretty sure your feelings are already clear to the other person… but nothing has been out in the open yet. Lucifer continues with a laugh.

“Then you have two choices still. You can confess. We’ll all know immediately, and… surely you know everyone well enough by now to know what their individual reactions would be.”

You’ve pictured it plenty of times before. You know how messy their moodiness would be.

“Yes, it wouldn’t be good for us now would it? Cause rifts perhaps. Brawls might even ensue. Can you blame us, when you so effectively had us wrapped in your finger?”

You scoff. It wasn’t your fault everyone read more into their interactions with you than what you truly felt. Lucifer shrugs.

“In the end, they’ll be governed by their feelings of betrayal. The body will implode… but it’s nothing new. We are demons. We live for so long. We’ve fought longer for less. Your lifetime will pass and our bonds can mend. But is that the life you want? An uneasy one? I can guarantee some of us would make it our mission to find ways to abduct you. Each more elaborate than the last. Your safety… your sanity… Well, you haven’t seen the worst we can do yet.”

The threats. You always know one will work itself into a conversation with Lucifer, but still, they make you grimace. Not because they make you scared… but because they’re so annoying to deal with. To be reminded of the reality of the danger demons have on your humanity. To be reminded you’re ultimately a plaything.

Alright, next option.

“This one is simpler. Harsher. You bury your love for him. You leave the House before any bridges get crossed. You don’t come back.” Lucifer stepped away, his gaze heavy.

You both know he dislikes that option. You dislike it too.

You shake your head. You tell him those are shit options. He agrees.

You tell him to give you the third option you know he’s leading up to, already. Lucifer gives another sigh.

“I already mentioned it. We are a body. We like to share.”

Your eyes widen. You bare your teeth at his bold insinuation. No matter how much they treat you as such, you are not a toy! You have preferences. Emotions. Sure, you like some of the other brothers, but there are also some you can’t stand. To be forced into something with them?

Disgusting.

Lucifer growls at your use of the word. Even if you were entitled to your preferences… having his brothers called such a word was aggravating. He continued to push.

“All or nothing. That’s the only way there can be peace…”

But-

“What’s truly wrong with this option? You get to keep your favorite. You get to try things with others you like. You don’t have to force yourself to love the ones you don’t… but to tolerate their presence at least. To keep some peace. Besides, who’s to say they won’t grow on you?”

You know yourself enough to know that could never be the case.

“I digress… One little human and seven powerful demons. You’d be crowned the luckiest of your kind.”

He released a curt laugh.

“You have to admit, there are worse fates than being loved too much.”

You don’t appreciate your serious position being mocked. Lucifer gave another shrug.

“This is it. It’s up to you…”

He turns around.

“You’re free to go now. Mull it over in your room.”

You rush out his door. You’re close to slamming it.

Lucifer glanced as the door shut and goes to his desk. He still has things to do.

But the letters to the contracts weren’t enough to keep his interest. He still had fantasies he had to let go of.

To live alone with the human.

Maybe if they had chosen to be his, such a thing could've been achieved. With Lucifer's power and connections, he would find a way to hide them. Maybe fake an accident to leave behind no trail. His brothers were already attached, but a mortal was still a mortal. And if they ever got close to the truth... Lucifer could plan for that too. He could leave behind everything, run forever from his meddling siblings with his human in his arms.

Truth be told he already had a map of places that would work to shield them for a year or two before he'd move to the next.

But, as was common with his tendency to over plan, those countless hours of his mind drifting away and spending breaks thinking things through had only been a waste.

How selfish of the human.

(I hope I wrote him well enough :,o Yeee, this is a bit of a ‘how things went’ for me in my playthrough. I love Mammon. He is my dude lol. And like, I can go on on how this all happened, but ultimately, My first few chapters, I was just getting less interested in everyone and more charmed with Mammon. And I kept expecting there to be a deviation in the story where I’d get more of a concentration in charming the demon I chose, like any other dating sim does. But nah. The story kept ENCOURAGING harem choices, even with demons I DID NOT LIKE. So I made this explanation. I had to. I view it as ‘they really are just a package deal and Im forced to deal with it lol.’ And of course Lucifer would be the one to make that clear. Uggh. -v-

#Obey me #Obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me fanfic #obey me headcanons #om lucifer #om mc #obey me writing #idk how to tag shit oof #plz i am begging for interactions #idk how to get em lol #id love to share my specific thoughts on the brothers too sometime #but uh #i need someone to ask.... im too shy to just post rants vwv #uuuuuugh this is what wanting attention feels like and i hate it im sorry

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astro-pioneer · 4 years ago

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hey I love ur work also Idk if ur taking request at this time but I was wondering if u had time that if u could maybe make a second part to the red string fic about childe cause wow 😩angst is so good

In Another, Maybe 『Childe』

➽ Part two of Broken String | Taking care of Teucer wasn't something (Y/N) had on their schedule for the day, but with the begging golden eyes of the traveller and hopeful blue eyes of the child, who were they to refuse? If only they were informed on who Teucer was related to before making a promise. | Small spoilers for Childe's story quest | The beginning sounds like a platonic Teucer story but we need development so sorry </3

Hi hi anon! I almost cried when I saw your request oml. I'm so glad you like what I write and thank you for the support!! My requests are indeed open (I call them new expeditions in my bio) but I'm glad you asked about it :D I hope this is what you expected but if not send me a message and I can possibly do a third part with an alternate ending.

The child looked familiar, that much (Y/N) knew, but couldn't pinpoint where from. What they didn't know was how the traveller knew where they lived. "Uh, hello?" Right away they knew trouble was in their future. Aether's nervous smile said it all. Teucer knew them just like he knew who the traveller was, especially when his big sister Tonia fawned after reading that part of the letter.

"Hi (Y/N)! We're sorry to bother you, but Zhongli told us you weren't busy and that you could help us!" Ah, so that's how the trio found them. They loved Zhongli dearly, don't get them wrong, but sometimes he shares a little too much information to the ones he trusts. "He told us you're really good with kids, and we usually see you playing pirates with a group on some days."

(Y/N) sighed, seeing that there was no way out of this situation, and almost stepped back in to grab some Mora before the child (who still has yet to be introduced) stopped them. "Oh, it's okay! My big brother already gave us money to spend. Now, come on!" The tiny hands latched onto a bigger right one, the pulling of the limb making the tied string sway lightly.

The nod was small but seen nonetheless, making Paimon sigh in relief. Teucer dragged (Y/N) away before they could close their front door, making the travelling duo do it. Aether cringed at the quick glance inside. It was so cold and depressingly empty. "Maybe it's because they're usually out?" Not even Paimon herself sounded sure about her reasoning.

"Anyway, my name's Teucer! I came from Sneznhaya! What about you?"

The older person blinked, not expecting the kid to not even know their name (even after Paimon said it). "Oh, I'm (Y/N), and I moved to Liyue from Inazuma." He awed; it was very easy to amaze the child, they mused. A small gasp came from Teucer before they were dragged away, the traveller struggling to keep up with the excited kid.

"Oooh, c'mon (Y/N)! Let's go to the wharf! I was never able to see it when I got here! You too, Mr. Nice Guy!" Their right hand was finally released and the string touched the ground once more. The kid ran off but was always in the watchful sight of the trio as they caught up to him.

"Teucer, please try not to run off anymore."

He didn't respond, too amazed with the view and size of the wharf to care. "Woah! Look at the waves! Do they ever freeze?" Aether and Paimon stood back from (Y/N) and Teucer, talking amongt themselves.

"Is it just Paimon, or does it feel like we're just awkward third wheels?" Seeing the nod from her companion, Paimon nodded with crossed arms in satisfaction before floating over after seeing the kid go to the anchor. "This is an anchor. Ships use it to stop the wind from blowing them away."

Teucer pondered for a bit before nodding, 'An anchor...got it. I might get it confused with Commodore Hook though..." The three echoed the name in confusion, prompting him to explain. "My brother always sends me a big present for my birthday. Commodore Hook, Blacksteel Jack, Iron Tony, they all stay in our backyard!"

(Y/N) kept their shock hidden well. "That's very kind of your brother. Are they as big as the anchor?" He nodded as an answer before seeing the stall selling fish, running off yet again. An acquaintance from their work waved in greeting, (Y/N) reciprocating the action with their right hand. The string no longer brushed the ground.

They came back to the group, hearing Uncle Gao, the owner of the fish stall, get mad at Teucer for innocently comparing the fish in Liyue to what he's used to back in his homeland. "That's no way to talk to a child now, is it, sir? There's no reason to get worked up over regional differences." Their face was passive but anyone with a keen enough eye could see the threat behind their façade. Paimon herself even got angry at the stall owner.

"There's legends about these big fish back at home! I told my brother about it and a few days later, he came back with a big fish slung over his shoulder!" He exaggerated 'big' to get his point across, which was cute. "Mr. Nice Guy, (Y/N), let's go see the boats." He grabbed both of their hands this time.

The quick walk ended when they reached a small but intricately designed boat. Teucer signed dejectedly. "I miss my brother..." His palms pressed to his eyes. Paimon was shocked, pointing out the fact that they (minus (Y/N)) just saw him. "That doesn't count! It was for such a short time! Take me to see my brother, I don't want to play anymore!"

The trip to Qingxu Pool's nearby river was a long distance away, especially in Teucer's eyes. Not even halfway through did he ask (Y/N) to give him a piggyback ride, who just sighed and accepted the request. The incline as well as Aether and Paimon blocked their view of Teucer's brother, but they paused at Paimon's declaration. "Found him! There's Childe! Wait..." Teucer didn't notice the faltered step.

Shimmying off their back, Teucer ran toward the taller ginger. Oh, dear. If (Y/N) knew who Teucer's brother was, they would've stayed home and completed upcoming paperwork. Their eyes quickly looked to his left hand, the matching, dull string also tied to his pinkie. At the mention of selling toys, (Y/N) looked at their soulmate suspiciously. "Fatui scum don't sell toys though..." They kept their mouth shut at the pleading eyes of the travelling duo.

The trio stood back, watching the scene unfold in front of them concerning Childe's "toy selling business", as Teucer called it. Another Fatui member, a subordinate, appeared right after, informing the ginger about new recruits. The blond then turned to (Y/N). "Also, Mr. Zhongli asked me to inform you about an urgent matter that he didn't go into details about. However, he requests that you make haste to meet him." They clicked their tongue, still hating how the Fatui are still associates of the funeral parlour.

"Aw, really? Both of you are leaving? Do you have to?" The small smile make Childe's heart squeeze.

"Apologies Teucer, but I know I speak for both your brother and I when I say that it's important for us to keep working. You're always welcome to find me when you want to though, alright?" A nod was shared between the two broken soulmates before (Y/N) turned, heading back to the harbour.

Aether didn't miss the longing stare Childe had before he snapped out of it, answering Teucer's question his own way, laced with lies that'll only harm himself in the end. Paimon didn't miss it either, but she was more vocal until he covered her mouth.

The next time (Y/N) saw Teucer and Co. was when they came barging into their office. "We're going to the Institute of Toy Research! Come.on, I want you to come with us!" They had no choice but to go. Watching the lengths Childe would go just to make his brother happy struck something inside of them. Not deep enough to make them love him but to see him in a new light.

(Y/N) got to the worn down harbinger before anyone else, squatting down in front of him. "I wish we met under different circumstances, Mr. Soulmate." He cracked a grin.

"I'd ask if there would be any chance where we could change the outcome, but-" he raised his left hand, where the string was nothing but the knot, "-seems as though it's a little too late, huh?"

They shared sad smiles to each other, (Y/N) giving the traveller a signal to get Teucer's attention for a while. "Possibly... In another life, maybe we could've been together. In this run, however, it was sadly not meant to be." They linked their tied hands together, both witnessing the last piece of their connection as soulmates diminish away before their eyes. "I'm glad to have been able to witness that you're more than just a mindless pawn to the Tsaritsa... Hearing what you do for your siblings and even now proved that."

Aether and Paimon came over after (Y/N) stood up, going back to Teucer as they talked. "Did you find your brother yet?" They played along with the "game" of hide and seek. But yet, their thoughts were far away, thinking of an alternative time where the two of them met under different circumstances. What would've happened to the soulmates if they never met in Liyue and witnessed what happened with their beloved? No one knows, not even the gods themselves...

#✎ expedition #✩ neptune #childe x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #tartagalia x reader

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thejustmaiden · 4 years ago

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Heyo, fellow Inuyasha fans! Happy Friday! This particular blog will serve as a collection of random thoughts I’ve been mulling over lately. Hope you’ll consider giving it a read. By the way, it’ll specifically pertain to the Sessrin ship. If that’s not something that is of interest to you, then no need to read any further. Whatever happens, I wanted to get this out before the sequel. Alrighty, let’s go!

I’m not sure many of us realize just how much fiction sparks public dialogue and shapes culture. There have been countless studies and research done to prove it, therefore this really isn’t up for debate. What the real question here should be is have we taken the time to fully contemplate and assess just how much fictional experiences are able to change or influence our perspective on real, everyday life? The visual arts are just one of many evolutionary adaptations that serve to give us more insight into one another’s mind. If our outlook on fiction contrasts with said insight, then perhaps some re-evaluating is in order.

Powerful works of literature such as 1984 and the beloved Harry Potter series are just two examples. George Orwell’s book contributed strongly to how readers viewed government and politics during that time, and to this day it’s a book that resonates with many. As much as Harry Potter is cherished all across the world, there are religious and academic institutions that condemn it or have even gone so far as to ban it. I may not agree with the extreme measures taken, but it’s fascinating nonetheless to witness the extent to which fiction can move and mobilize people for a cause.

The takeaway is that indicating fiction doesn’t have the power to create change in our everyday lives is misleading to say the least. So how exactly then can fictional stories that are, after all, completely made up affect society in such profound ways? It all lies in the power of the psychology of fiction. According to cognitive psychologist and novelist, Keith Oatley, who’s been researching the psychological effects of fiction for over a decade, he states that engaging with stories about other people can improve empathy and theory of mind. When we identify with these characters’ struggles, we begin to share their frustration for societal problems that plague them. These types of stories tap into our emotions more so than- believe it or not- nonfiction, and thus their effects inspire us and even have the ability to alter our worldviews.

I’ll be returning to that specific topic a bit later, but moving on for now!

It’s safe to say that I speak on behalf of the majority of antis. That being said, I first want to add that we are aware that sessrin shippers claim to agree that there was nothing inherently romantic that took place between Rin and Sesshomaru during their travels together. The thing is we have trouble believing you guys when you time and time again provide contradictory statements to defend your stance.

Voicing things like, “all signs point to Rin” and “it’s been foreshadowed” sends the exact opposite message of what you supposedly stand for and, if anything, confirms that you’ve had romance on your mind long before it would’ve been acceptable to come out with openly. You can’t just go along with what we say when it’s convenient to your argument and then back it up later with “who else but Rin.” How can the relationship you’re imagining be so obvious if they didn’t hint at it for the whole duration of the original series like we agreed upon? Elaborate on how we could’ve possibly come to such wildly different conclusions when we started AND left off with the same views for and throughout the series.

On top of that, making the excuse that we don’t speak for adult!Rin and that she has the right to make her own decisions once she’s old enough is a weak defense. Firstly, because we haven’t even met her. Secondly, because it’s unfair of you to assert that you know what’s best for Rin and then say we’re not allowed to just because it doesn’t align with your beliefs. I get that you feel protective over her character, but do recall that this adult version of her none of us have actually met yet. We have no idea what kind of woman she’s become, what her dreams or aspirations may be, and whether she’s married or even wants to be. I’m not against the idea of her falling in love, I just don’t think it’ll be with Sesshomaru. I guess I’m also a fan of the idea of her following in Kaede’s footsteps, because if anyone can grow up to be an independent, trusted, and wise leader of the community like her it’s Rin.

To make matters worse, way too many of you continue to celebrate the drama cd and profess that it was sweet that Sesshomaru basically promised he’d wait for Rin all while somehow ignoring the glaring grooming implications. Why do you only see what you want to see and fail to acknowledge that actual child grooming scenarios do in fact play out like this in real life? A high percentage of people who have been victims of grooming can attest to this. If Sessrin does go canon, all the sequel succeeded in doing to avoid the direct correlation with grooming was skip over the more questionable and dodgy portions of it. Take out the time jump, however, and you no longer have a loophole to cover up the scary unmistakable truth, which is that Sessrin and grooming are essentially one in the same.

No one case is identical to another so please don’t come to me with your “but how is it grooming if Sesshomaru didn’t manipulate Rin” refutes. Nobody knows what the hell went on during those years between The Final Act and this upcoming sequel. Based on everything exhibited so far- that is if we decide to recognize the drama cd like so many of you choose to do- Sessrin’s dynamic is eerily reminiscent of real life child grooming. Why else do you think a lot of us fans have a huge problem with it? It’s triggering for a reason.

Let’s be honest, Sesshomaru’s supposed love confession could’ve just been the first of many gestures like it. Who really knows, right? According to you shippers, a major shift in their relationship took place sometime during this critical period none of us got to watch unfold. I’m sure you all have explored the various ways this would’ve gone down in fan fiction and through other creative means of expression. Not to spoil the fun, but all I can’t help but wonder about is just how many of those supposed “cute moments” would’ve been as creepy and cringey as that proposal. Hundreds of thousands (possibly millions?!) of fans would undoubtedly agree with me, too. It seems to me this ain’t due to a mere difference of opinion. Taste is one thing, ethics a whole other.

By the way, in case you didn’t know, groomers don’t necessarily need to plan out every single move in order for their behavior to constitute as grooming. What we should be paying attention to instead is the fact that Sesshomaru made a conscious decision to act on his own selfish desire for a young girl who couldn’t have possibly known in that moment the magnitude of what he was asking of her. Why is it that a vulnerable Rin is put in a position that forces her to be the one responsible for making such a big, life-changing decision for the both of them? Yes, Sesshomaru gave her the choice and, yes, she doesn’t have to make it till later, but why on Earth is he coming to her with this well before a child her age is ready and mature enough to handle it? Even if his intentions are good (broadly speaking of course), his what you shippers probably call “innocent acts” are incidentally coercing Rin into reciprocating his feelings. Whether he planned for that or not, he’s at fault. Period.

That’s one way the power imbalance works. A child wants nothing more than to please the adult they look up to and adore, because they’re impressionable like that. Maybe Rin processes this like she’ll want whatever he wants, so that’s what she trains herself to believe- either right then and there or over time. Plus, if you really think about it, why wouldn’t she trust him if in her eyes he’s been nothing but good to her and that’s all she’s ever really known? (Psst! Charm is integral to the manipulative nature of grooming so it’s deceiving AKA manipulation can come off as praise or flattery.) Bottom line is that Rin is too young to have to think about this kind of deep stuff at all, and Sesshomaru shouldn’t have taken advantage of the power he had/has over her to influence a decision she was by no means prepared to hear about much less decide on. Your headcanons seem to imply that she’ll eventually have to choose though, and Idk about you but I rather not push my own fantasy agenda onto a underage girl regardless of how much I want it. Idc if she’s fictional, it wouldn’t feel right so why would I want to see that? My principals couldn’t ever allow for it.

Even if it wasn’t an official proposal, per se, it’s still disturbing to me that so many of you find joy in the thought of a grown adult male essentially waiting for a young girl HE KNEW to become old enough before pursuing her. I know this drama cd ain’t technically canon, y'all, but since this is literally the only source we have that may foreshadow a potential Sessrin to come, and it’s referenced a lot, I figured it still should be called out for exactly what it is- Grooming: 101!!!!

Just as I demonstrated above, fiction has the ability to make even the most inappropriate and uncomfortable situations be viewed in a favorable light when you put the right spin on it. *cough* Lolicon culture, need I say more? *cough* Despite what you may believe, the strategies fiction utilizes to explain themes/concepts can genuinely lead to how we perceive them, and ultimately to how we come to make sense of a similar event presented to us in real life. Especially if we have no prior experience with any of it and have nothing to compare something to, these perceptions can be dangerous yet still persuasive to certain fans- young ones in particular. The more narrative consistency across stories and different mediums, the more likely they’ll influence social beliefs. Minors don’t possess the same capacity as adults to think critically about the content they consume, and if we aren’t more careful about what we put out there then all of us will continue to face serious repercussions.

This is precisely why it’s crucial we persist in our fight against the rabid phenomenon of glorifying young girls in every sexual context imaginable. Just look at what something as seemingly harmless as fiction has the power to do. The scope of fiction is broad and far-reaching, and it’s about time we stop denying that fact and actually do something about it if we have the means to.

The truth of the matter is that we’re in desperate need of proper education and training programs on this issue in our communities. Families need to ensure their children have access to the necessary resources, but it isn’t just on them. ALL of us gotta do our part and ALL of us should be up for the task. It takes a village, right? If we do not properly discuss and address child sexual abuse (CSA) with our children and in public forums, including the internet, then we’re ultimately accepting incidents of CSA should they arise. Consequently, that also translates to indirectly accepting that the predators among us stay untreated and/or unpunished. That’s how the generational and societal aspect of the abuse can continue, and we must do everything in our power to secure our children’s future. Yes, even when it comes to fiction.

If you still somehow don’t think the Sessrin pairing has anything to do with grooming, allow me to break this down for you one more time:

1. If some of your fellow sessrin shippers say that a relationship like this in real life is harmful, then that should be pretty telling in and of itself.

2. Piggybacking off #1: if your only defense to that is “well it’s just fiction,” then you should ask yourself why you can’t ever come up with better reasons. Same goes for history and culture, so please stop using those to justify this relationship. None of the above can or should be applied since it’s already been established that fiction pervades our lives and vice versa.

3. If fellow shippers who are victims of grooming say they are drawn to Sessrin because it allows them in a way to “take back control” from their abuser so that they can better cope with past traumas, then they’re inadvertently admitting that Sessrin does possess qualities associated with the past child sexual abuse they underwent. AKA Sessrin is relatable for its abusive dynamic.

I have to ask by the way, but why do you get so offended when we don’t support your ship anyway? Is it because we interpret it to be controversial and you don’t like your ship getting a bad rap? Is it because it would be insulting to admit that antis actually have a point in it being problematic and you rather double down instead? Or is it because you’re projecting yourself onto Rin and prefer to not go into detail about why that is? Maybe it’s too personal, or maybe it’s because deep down you’re ashamed. Of course that doesn’t mean you’re bad people, but suppressing these kind of negative emotions can’t be healthy for anyone. A little awareness and self-reflection on your part can benefit not just you but all of us in the long run. Cognitive dissonance can suck, but it’s also part of being human.

I recently came across a comment I’d like to share with you. Unfortunately, this is not the first time nor will it be the last I see the likes of it. Anyway, in it a fan stated how embarrassing it must be being an Anti in this fandom when an episode like “Forever with Lord Sesshomaru” exists. Guys, this shipper and all those who liked their post are showing their true colors. Perpetuating and/or anticipating these sexualized images of young girls is a grave issue in both our society and media alike. I think we can all agree on that, or at least I hope so. It’s remarks like these that prove we still got a long way to go in terms of progress, and if we ever hope to effectively reverse some of our backwards way of thinking. So serious question for ya in regard to this: Why is it too much to ask that grooming be portrayed for what it is? Grooming. To clarify, grooming is bad and needs to be painted in a bad light. It’s as simple as that. If only we could all acknowledge it for what it is, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

Historical accuracy and cultural differences aside, it appears the crux of the matter between Sessrin shippers and Antis is our acceptance and/or denial of fiction’s influence on real life. If we can’t agree on this, then we’ll never agree on anything else. As mentioned earlier, there is more than enough evidence to support the idea that fiction impacts our lives in extraordinary ways. I, for one, believe in the transformative power of stories. I think they do more for us than many of us give them credit for and/or are inclined to admit.

This is partially why I believe that the majority of sessrin folk are missing the point most of the time. All they do is focus on insignificant and irrelevant information that accomplishes nothing but more gaslighting and strawmanning. Whether it be an intentional or unconscious decision, whatever we argue goes right over their head. All they do is throw around deflections and antagonizing remarks that serve no real purpose other than to make Antis out to be the unreasonable and irrational ones. Making connections between our own lives and our stories is a completely natural and normal occurrence. If those particular shippers insist on denying just how interconnected real life and fiction both are, what that tells me is they’re either out of touch with reality or deliberately choose to be.

Just to be clear, I am of the opinion that most if not all antis aren’t real life predators. If they say they aren’t, I honestly take their word for it. Speaking to Sessrin shipper directly: We know it’s not Sesshomaru you want to be but Rin. No, we’re not calling you pedophiles or groomers. None of us think you are using a fictional ship to attract underage fans to be the Rin in your life or anything of the sort. We are well aware that many of you are self-inserting yourself as Rin, so please don’t feel the need to tell us yourself because that would be stating the obvious.

I learned from a few of you since this sequel was announced that the Sessrin relationship isn’t just a ship but an opportunity for you to confront the person who used and abused you. So there’s two issues with this I’d like to raise. (Sorry if I’m repeating myself, but it’s urgent I stress this again!) This is what I have to say:

If fiction does not affect real life or have the ability to normalize anything as you claim to believe, then why does “fixing” what happened to you via your preferred choice of coping associated with these two characters in the first place? Why bring your past abuse into this at all if at the end of the day it’s “just fiction” and nothing more to you but a source of entertainment?

By confessing that you use Sessrin to cope with your past trauma, you therein reveal that Sessrin does in fact resemble an adult-child relationship with a grooming dynamic. So why then would you want other fans to be exposed to a pairing that brings to mind the very abuse you endured? We’re supposed to stop this toxic cycle- NOT find more ways to manifest and relive it, much less subject other fans to it.

You may think that Sessrin doesn’t fit the textbook definition of what child grooming is, but that’s not to say it doesn’t embody it or that it doesn’t at the very least have traces of it that stand out.

“Antis are miserable people who don’t know how to enjoy a good story. It’s just fiction, stop ruining it for other fans!”

Well, no, it’s not just fiction or just a story. Some of you evidently went and proved that yourself, and without my help, by revealing how you relate Sessrin to your own life and apply it to cope with past abuse. Past abuse or not, as far as I can tell we’re all equally invested in these characters. That speaks volumes and just goes to show that fiction touches our lives in long-lasting ways.

I have something I want to say concerning some of who believe that it’s inconsiderate of antis who have been victims of grooming or another form of child abuse to tell other victims who ship Sessrin how they should cope with their trauma. Now as much as I respect the various means victims discover to deal with their painful pasts, there’s always an appropriate time and a place for these things to occur. We must seek out better ways to safely cope with the abuse we lived through (if any) without running the risk of hurting and endangering others.

There are plenty of fans in other fandoms who don’t try to defend their ships going canon, because they’re able to recognize an unhealthy or toxic pairing when they see one and won’t try to justify it. A Sessrin romance simply does not belong on a show geared towards teens, and I really don’t need to go into detail about why we shouldn’t support it, at least canon-wise. Shipping Sessrin is your right, but if you don’t keep it to yourself and your corner of the fandom then you really shouldn’t be surprised by the opposition. All we ask is you respect that their specific dynamic falls under the category of child grooming (or very close) and should be treated as such in public. The world of fiction may be wider than the world we live in, but that doesn’t always mean “anything goes.” In the creative spaces our minds occupy we must still adhere to the same fundamental and moral guidelines we live by in life. There’s nothing wrong with exploring new terrains and experimenting with ideas, but we must also remember that our stories are all about communicating and connecting with people. So let’s please be more mindful of the sort of messages they’re sending.

Besides, this isn’t only about you and what makes you feel safe, it’s about all of us. I don’t know how much more I can stress that really. How can thoughts endanger our children, you ask? Well, it’s not like we’re suggesting that our thoughts can jump out of our tvs, materialize themselves, and place kids under mind control. The forces behind fiction are a lot more complex and nuanced than a “monkey see, monkey do” approach, so don’t waste any more time trying to describe that to us. You’re taking this argument in the wrong direction.

Take the “violent video games breed killers” theory. I’m afraid you’re misconstruing what we’re saying and then taking it quite too literally. Please stop twisting our words, because nobody on our side is saying that just because you play violent video games that you’ll become a violent person. The Sessrin equivalent of that would be if you ship them then you must be a pedophile or turning into one. *sigh* I know you guys are feeling attacked, but I’m afraid your defensive nature is keeping you from thinking straight. Clearly, there are always exceptions (I’d recommend reading up on the Slender Man case), but Antis aren’t saying you’re one of them.

You see, it’s not so much about the content as it is the notion of the content. Kids and teens who are playing these video games have been informed that killing is wrong, because they grew up learning that early on like the rest of us. No sane person would advocate for violence and nonsensical killing in real life. Since they fully understand the severity of the consequences of killing a person in real life, they are able make a clear distinction between the two. When it comes to killing there is hardly any ambiguity. Sadly, that is far from the truth when it comes to sexualizing girls. It should immediately be perceived as wrong leaving no room for interpretation, and yet here we are still putting up with these inaccurate and demeaning female representations.

Most children who have been groomed don’t realize it till years down the road. If they aren’t ever taught the telltale signs to properly labeling grooming situations, how do you expect them to make sense of and relate to a fictional version? Let’s think of about it from a child’s perspective. Yes, this includes teens who rely pretty heavily on adult guidance and the content we put out there for them. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and picture that you’ve never had child grooming explained to you (because that’s just the reality for so many unfortunately). Wouldn’t you say it’s possible for them to deduce that what they see on their screens is how they come to discern something in real life, especially if they have little to no experience with it? Perceived realism is plausible, y'all.

What it comes down to in the end is that the ideas and emotions we cultivate behind these stories leave an impression on others. Impressions are capable of influencing the way we see the world, which in turn affects us and beyond just our imagination. The way I look at it, stories contribute to how and why we normalize certain beliefs and trends. If fiction reflects real life like most of us tend to agree, then wouldn’t you say Sessrin is a (in)direct result of this world’s tendency to place young girls in overly sexual or romantic environments? Where do you think fiction draws its inspiration from? Sure, some of it originates from our imagination, but most of what drives us to create these stories is the real world and the people who live in it.

Fiction is meant to mirror reality, but it’s ridiculous to suggest that it’s only a one-way street. That fiction in no way, shape, or form influences our reality? Or that it only works the other way around? With all due respect, that’s simply not true. No productive discourse can be had if we choose to ignore the truth and don’t come together (at least halfway) to tackle the real issues at hand.

Okay, I think I’ll leave it off there! Thanks so much for reading. I expect this to be my last blog on any topic regarding Inuyasha in the near future. As much as I’ve looked forward to answering all of your asks and writing all the blogs I have over these past almost 5 months, I think it’s best if I spend some time away for now. With the sequel fast approaching, I’m doing what I always do: hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I’ve met some amazing people along the way, that’s for sure. And who knows, maybe you’ll see me active in the tags sooner than we think. Until then, it’s been an absolute pleasure! Enjoy the sequel, all of you. 💜

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #it's been real y'all #catch ya on the flipside #(which I hope is in a promising sequel 🤞)

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overgrownlive · 3 years ago

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My first live blogged series was the Lunar Chronicles. Unfortunately, I only started blogging during Fairest, and the majority of my thoughts were from Winter. But I'm glad that I read it and shared my thoughts as I did.

That said, I wanted to share my thoughts on the series as a whole because it's been a while since I've gotten this invested in a YA series and tlc blew me away.

Spoiler warning!!!

Cinder-

My sibling recommended the book/series to me. They read it a while ago, and I was looking for some good old fashioned escapism (life is rough, yadda yadda) and I took the suggestion because I love reimagined fairy tales. I also love aliens. And cyberpunk.

So naturally I was on board from chapter one.

I actually originally thought that Cinder was gonna end up having the info on the lost princess lost in her coding. Didn't expect her to be selene bc I thought it was too obvious. I need to stop playing 5D chess with inter-dimensional time travel with YA authors.

I love Kai. I love Iko. I love(d) Peony. I have a love/hate relationship with Cinder and Torin.

Dr. Erland was my favorite character until I figured out why he started the cyborg draft bc dude there were so many better ways to do that. Like....idk you could have looked at the immigration files from Europe and found what family adopted a cyborg five years ago from Reiux France. But ...whatever. Fine.

Everyone might hate me for this opinion but I felt that the feelings that Kai had for cinder were very forced, especially at first. She barely spoke to him, she was just some girl. Idk, I didn't get it. Of course, once we get Kais perspective and he explains that he kinda asked cinder out for convenience I was like "ahh, yes...the fake dating trope. My favorite." /Gen. But then I got confused bc his feelings seemed genuine? Idk it was very confusing but tbh I didn't give a shit about their relationship, I wanted to know what was going on with Luna. I wanted to know about the plot. I wanted Cinder to save Peony and I thought she was going to.

And when she didn't

I almost cried.

I wanted Kai to save the common wealth. I didn't want him to marry Levana or make any deals with her

And when he did

I almost screamed

I understand the feelings now that I've read the whole series. I think it was more of an instinct thing. But at the time, before I knew how they fit together, I was really confused. They just seemed too different and too thrown together.

But, like I said, that didn't dissuade me from reading: the plot, the characters individually, and the world building were enough to keep me going. I'm not someone who reads YA for romance.

Scarlet-

Tbh this was my least favorite book. Again, not really interested in the romance between scar and wolf. I guess it's just that I knew they'd end up together in the end so it didn't really matter to me. I also knew wolf would betray her and I knew she'd be like "jk still love you" and he'd be like "same"

Also my grandma is fucking crazy in the bad way (I'm sorry if you love your grandma, I'm sure your grandma is very nice. Mine is not) and I would not do any of this for her so I can't relate to scarlet on that front. I like to think I'm like her in the strong, firecracker sense. But besides that, there's not a lot of relatability for me so idk

Thorne is my bestie and I love him. His friendship with Cinder got me through the book ngl. I feel bad saying this bc I really do love the series, and I like scarlet and wolf, I just wouldn't read a book about only them: if Thorne and cinder weren't in this book, I would've dropped the series.

I didn't like how wolf had to do everything for her. Like jump off the train and save her from ran and bust her out of prison and shit. Like, yeah, she shot him once but like...idk. not my fav. I think they have an interesting dynamic and I like the characters and their relationship is cute, I just was kinda like ..."okay, cool" the whole time. Not my thing I guess?

That's kinda all I have to say about this one? Idk, I still enjoyed it, I just also barely remember it and I feel like the main purpose was to set us up for angst later in winter.

Cress-

So Rapunzel is one of my favorite fairy tales and I love this retelling. The way that cress' feet get fucked up and Thorne loses his vision I was like "YES THATS SO CLEVER NFKSKRWKKA"

Also the foreshadowing abt their relationship. Thorne is one of my favs, I'm a sucker for asshole gremlins who want to be better.

The way that they kidnap Kai at the end made me laugh so hard. Torin helping melted my heart. I am now invested in cinder and Kais relationship, it doesn't feel forced anymore. It feels like they both saw something in each other that was so abstract that even the reader can't quite grasp it. Kai still has her foot. Why did he keep it? They think about each other constantly. They both have responsibilities that nobody else can understand, but at least they can both try. They want the same thing but neither can have it. They have similarities now. They fit better, now. I get it, now.

Dr erland being cress' father was something I saw coming but also didn't care about, I felt like we could've gone without that. It would be just as powerful if the DNA test came back negative. Erland was hoping, out of desperation, that his crescent moon was still alive. But he really did lose her. Idk.

I loved the desert. The symbolism.

I loved how they both had to rely on each other. I love the dynamic between cress and Thorne. How cress wanted a hero to save her, how Thorne didn't think he could be a hero ever. How they both were a hero for each other.

Thorne taught cress how to survive outside of her satellite. He taught her how to live on Earth. He was there when she took her first steps on feet that had never walked before. Not really.

And cress taught Thorne how to rely on others. She saved him from his sense of self, a view of his life that labeled him as a worthless criminal. She taught him how to care about other people. She taught him to see people, instead of look at them.

It killed me. I love them.

Fairest-

Fuck Levana

Winter-

I loved winter as a character and I really liked the way the story ended. I loved the confession scene between Thorne and cress and most of the rest of my thoughts/big takeaways and opinions can be inferred from my liveblogs.

One thing I will say, though, is I hate how Cinder plans on giving up her rule. I understand that she wants to dissolve the monarchy, but I think she should run for president or Parliament or whatever government she sets up.

Also like...if there's technology that stops lunar from abusing their power...doesn't the whole monarchy thing like...still work??? Idk

Overall this was probably the most engaging YA series I've read in a while. The characters were all diverse and individual and I loved the plot and world building. I've been done with the series for a few weeks and still think about it every day.

#linh cinder #the lunar chronicles #tlc cress #tlc thorne #tlc cinder #tlc winter #scarlet tlc #scarlet benoit #tlc spoilers #the lunar chronicles spoilers #kai tlc #emperor kaito #prince kai

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inthiswhisper · 4 years ago

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some people wanted my notes on the siren episode (4x14). i’m not posting everything; i’m sure it’s all been spoken about lol. i mentioned my suspicions about the doctor, so i’ll focus on the end of the episode. (under the cut.)

so, here’s the thing... i read this one with and without “bi dean” goggles on. i saw the angle intended, but also a number of implications.

firstly, the end pushed a familial angle. they obviously wanted to make this about sam and dean, but how they got there is boggling my mind. up until right before the siren’s reveal, i could read the bond he formed with dean as at least platonic. they bonded over the impala and zeppelin — that’s an ideal friend angle. when he said, “i should be your little brother,” it was then familial, but still didn’t feel... idk... believable?

part of it had to do with how they wrote and directed this, which i’ll get into, and some of it had to do with jensen just having chemistry with men, which is not his fault lol. however, it’s also the fact that the actor had chemistry with him and that, physically and otherwise, their dynamic was far more “equal” than “older brother, younger brother” if that makes sense. the guy’s build, his demeanor... he wasn’t “little brother” material. it all put him on a level playing field with dean, if anything.

the only moment that felt “brotherly” was the siren (as nick) trusting dean’s gut and not questioning him, which dean was appreciative of because sam acts the exact opposite way. but everything else? didn’t scream familial to me, and i’m not saying those moments made it inherently romantic or sexual. they don’t have to be, sirens form platonic bonds if it suits their needs, but it was far easier to read as less than familial. in a way, even ambiguously romantic. (especially if we wanna talk about dean as the impala and the siren, ahem, complimenting / intimately knowing the workings of dean’s car. meet someone you want to date? compliment their car’s appearance first. then, you go for drinks, get to know their interests, and build trust. which all happened. in that exact order.)

then, there’s the siren’s setup and background info they saturated the story in. as a disclaimer: i can see them providing a romantic / sexual backstory, and then adding a platonic / familial plot twist to surprise the brothers and the audience. the issue is the romantic / sexual set up is there in the first place. sirens are known to lure men in, transmit their venom through intimate physical contact, and appeal to “whatever floats the guy’s boat” (as dean put it). the implications are inherently romantic and sexual, nothing else. the audience expects a seduction and that intimate contact. though it didn’t appear how we expected, it was still present in the siren bonding with dean and sharing the flask. and, to me, it’s obvious either brother would get seduced by a woman, but only dean seemed likely to get seduced by a guy, so dean was the only logical target chosen.

now, this could be for a number of reasons—

firstly, with what we know about sirens, the siren could’ve gotten dean in bed. usually, dean doesn’t have his guard up when it comes to sex. however, right now he does and he also does when it comes to love, so if sex isn’t an option, seemingly platonic love is. secondly, dean is loyal to and protective of his family, so the siren knew dean would fight to the death to do the siren’s bidding if under his spell. thirdly, it’s dean who has a reason to be angry with sam for the lies and secrets with ruby, so dean’s more likely to lash out at a loved one. the siren’s approach was clever in picking his bond with his brother to win him over. dean just wants mutual trust and the siren feeds on that.

HOWEVER — “bi dean” goggles slipping back on — though sirens form platonic bonds, like i said, the motive is still always a selfish, typically romantic love. the siren may have chosen dean for the aforementioned reasons and approach, but i’m thoroughly convinced he chose dean as male-presenting to throw both sam and dean off, and to successfully win dean’s heart because dean is more likely to reciprocate that love with any gender, unlike sam.

and now, finally, i’ll talk about the choices in writing and direction that left implications. firstly, my issue with the familial angle is that, though platonic, it was too ambiguous. i feel like they should’ve emphasized the siren’s motives through his actions more. i would’ve easily bought the brother thing, but the transition to it felt more like a leap, especially, again, because of the casting of the siren. speaking of, i just looked up an interview he did for the role and the fact that the sexual tension with dean was intentional?? it makes the intimacy in the acting and directing more obvious — closeup shots, shaky cameras. everything felt hazy and suggestive, like a drug.

beyond direction and implicit writing, the explicit writing is the most incredible part of this. to blaze through the obvious ones, the siren blatantly states things like: “i got dean.” “dean’s all mine.” “i want to fall in love again and again and again.” “whoever survives can be with me forever.” “and now [dean] loves me.” ALL of which can’t not be read as romantic. the fact that so many of these are associated mainly with dean, even when briefly directed at sam, is just perfect. the siren may have infected both of them, but wanted dean because he knew dean was more likely to win, so he had dean try to finish the job in the end. not to mention that, though the siren also infected sam directly with more venom than he passed onto dean, dean still somehow became the more intoxicated one. right before dean goes at sam with an axe, it’s like sam broke out of his trance for a second to look at them both, but dean never broke once.

also, and actually finally, after drinks at the club with the siren, dean was on the phone with sam, asking sam, “what is it with you and banging monsters?” dean was clearly frustrated when he asked because he thought sam slept with the siren (who was not the siren). then, we learn sam wasn’t the guilty brother this time. the anger towards sam for allegedly sleeping with the siren is ironic because dean is the one who (albeit metaphorically) slept with the siren. including this line calls out dean’s hypocrisy, of being no better and as susceptible, but it’s also laced with queer subtext because it’s referring to an actually male-presenting siren.

there’s also a discussion to be had about the association of queerness with otherness in the sense that dean’s male “love interests” are often monsters / non-human beings, and how dean always views himself as other, but, especially after his stint in / revelations about hell, he also views himself as a monster. however, that’s a whole other essay to write.

but, anyway, yeah. these are all the notes and interpretations made out of them. i likely missed a lot, but i had such a great time mining this episode for details.

#this took less time to write than expected #dean winchester #supernatural #tms #spn liveblog #4x14 #dean as the impala

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1168

survey by disappearingink

How old are you? 22, though my birthday is coming up sooooooooon.

Have you ever laughed in a highly inappropriate situation? I might have, but I’m not necessarily bad at hiding it if I absolutely have to.

Explain how a person last made you laugh. I don’t remember who it was anymore, but I was watching 2D1N just a few minutes ago and someone did a gesture that made me laugh, I’m pretty sure.

Name something illegal you've done underage. Just downloading torrented movies and books. I also answered this in a previous survey.

If you had to fly in something, what would you fly in? I’d love to take a trip on a light plane.

Do you have any relationship with the state of Florida? I don’t think I have relatives who live there, so no. They’re spread out across other states, though.

Is there any phrase your dad typically uses? Whenever I buy food from outside that I intend to have as a midnight snack, I always make sure to ask him if he wants some around after dinner so he can get a few bites in before I have it all for myself. His automatic response is always a whiny, “I’m fuUuuUuuUuUull” no matter how appetizing my meals look, haha.

What state do you live in? I don’t live in a state.

Would you rather be somewhere else? Sure. Being outside right now, on a Sunday evening, would’ve been a nice way to unwind before work starts again tomorrow.

The last time you wore a formal dress? Last July for my virtual graduation ceremony. I didn’t need to dress up, but I wanted pretty pictures like what other graduates from previous batches would usually post so I asked my family to dress up and pose for a few family photos.

Your favorite thing to do in the winter? I don’t get to experience winter.

Favorite sport? To play? Table tennis.

Do you know of any good comedians? Sindhu Vee has been the most memorable one for me, but I’ve only seen like one or two of her skits. Maybe my Facebook feed algorithm isn’t just very great but I feel like all the other comedians I’ve seen just try too hard.

If you were born in the opposite gender, what would your name be? I dunno. My parents have never shared this with me, though I also think they just never discussed it in the first place.

Is there anything you question about reality? I think just the inequality of wealth and opportunities, for the most part.

What do you think about people who obsessively state how *real* they are? I don’t get to hear this a lot, to be honest.

What's your relationship to the child you’re around most? They are my pets, lol.

Have you ever had an illegal substance in your blood stream? Nope.

Zodiac? Taurus.

What is the worst thing that has ever happened to your hair? My mom once bought me to this rather cheap hair salon once and they didn’t exactly have the best treatments available for rebonding, and the aftermath was horrible. My hair would turn hard as a stick every time I would get it wet, and it lasted around a year or so :( To this day I use about a 1:3 ratio of shampoo and conditioner every single time I shower.

What do you think about cats? Not a fan of most, but you do you. I still care for cats in the general sense but I never wanted one as a pet.

Can you give me a band not many people listen to? Idk if I can be the judge of that...I would suggest just looking up any letter on Spotify and see whatever obscure bands come up lol.

Who do you want with you when you're afraid? Depends on what kind of afraid I am. If it’s something like a car crash or fire, I’d want my parents around. Then there are other scenarios that I’d rather have my friends be with me.

Metaphorically, have any dogs you ever have to call off? I’ve never heard of this idiom before.

Wind, earth, fire, or air? I don’t really care.

Have you ever known a Lukas? Not with this spelling, but I have a cousin named Lucas.

Who might as well just be your sibling? My eldest cousin.

Would you ever consider working for the government? I did, because realistically it’s a lot of money; but thank fuck I dodged a bullet. I can’t imagine how I’d view myself if I ever sold out.

What is the weirdest thing you have ever witnessed a sibling doing? Idk, the three of us are all pretty private people so all the weird things they could’ve possibly done, they most likely did so without anyone seeing.

What are you looking forward to doing this summer? I’m not looking forward to doing anything; I would just want a substantially-calmed down Covid problem by then, if it’s possible.

Any thoughts on people who brag about being straight edge? I don’t mind it. I was invested in the subculture for a few years back in high school, so I get where they’re coming from.

Would you agree that alot of newer male vocalists sound gay? Ugh, so this is one of those surveys...

Your first best friend's name? Angela.

Do you miss any person who happens to be a hippie? I don’t know any hippies.

How do you act when you're uncomfortable? I like to stay quiet and hide in the background until I have an opportunity to leave. If there are people I know around, I cling to them.

Do you know what mesculine is? No.

Favorite alcoholic drink? Peach soju and Long Island Iced Tea.

What bug would you like to be extinct? Cockroaches.

Do you know who Jack Bauer is? No but this did remind of Baauer, aka the dude who came up with Harlem Shake.

The worst legal crime you've ever committed? Are...there...legal crimes?

The most trouble you've ever been in with authority? Just traffic violations.

Have you ever seen the movie Gone Baby Gone? Nope.

#survey #surveys

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gizkasparadise · 4 years ago

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Heyyy!!! Hope ur doing good 💗

I discovered ur blog a while ago and I definitely got some good kdrama recommendations that I probably wouldnt have watched if I hadn't read ur posts like Mystic Pop Up Bar, Tale of Nokdu, Chicago Typewriter etc. I love how u mix humor into ur PowerPoints and ur reviews, I love them 😂

Anyway in your reviews, you said that in Welcome to Waikiki they were very accepting of the single mother and immediately accepted her as a normal person and u added there "take notes camellia" and I think that's a bit of a harsh take because the difference was, in welcome to Waikiki they were all of the younger generation (millennials) and were okay with things like those, meanwhile in When the Camellia Blooms shes also a single mother but she's running a bar and attracts alot of customers because everyone else is also running a business but she earns the most so I think that's the reason she gets mean comments from everywhere + all the useless husbands keep hitting on her and that's not her fault. She in no way shows any attraction to any of them nor does she try to seduce them. Plus the rude people were mostly older people and South Korea is known for its conservative views although that is changing among the younger generations.

I just wanted to share my opinion with you, hope u don't mind 🌹

Keep posting alot, I love reading your stuff🍭

yo! thanks for the ask

i’ll be honest in saying i haven’t thought about camellia in a long time, and that i dropped the drama so idk something might have pivoted, but the critique was aimed at the narrative and not at all at the character. i definitely dont think the female lead in camellia was to blame for anything (in fact, part of why i dropped the show is she just never, ever got a break when she so deserved one to the point where the melo felt gratuitous to me--especially when a serial killer plot was introduced).

welcome to waikiki and camellia have two very different audiences, and two very different tones and goals. the comment was more of a throwaway than anything since i was watching both at the time and frustrated at how little happiness the female lead in camellia actually got by the time i dropped it

but yeah, def get your point about different goals/audiences and probably could’ve worded it better/hindsight’s 20/20 on that one

#asks!#kdrama

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yuthoe · 5 years ago

Text

Schedule Changes (PENTAGON: Adachi Yuto)

HELLO, IT’S 12:48AM AND I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF.

I had to churn this out because it won’t leave my head. I’d like to thank my irl friend @shiiiiiiiiinwun for inspiring me to write this collection (yes, I’m gonna be doing one for all of ot9). And for someone who’s been watching anime since she figured out how to use the internet, you’d think I could’ve come up with better names, and faster.

EDIT (06/29/20): Hi! it’s my first time making an edit like this, so i’m kinda insecure abt it lol, i hope it’s okay. this is the 2nd yuto version i did, so it’s slightly better than the first one. tumblr rlly doesn’t want us to go overboard on image size huh

WARNINGS: n/a; some angst, maybe? who’s proofreading idk her. WORD COUNT: 3,314 it’s so fucking long.

---

Minister Sakaguchi,

Unfortunately, Her Majesty will not be available for your meeting today at 3PM; urgent matters have arisen that need her immediate attention. If you would like to reschedule with her, please reply to this email.

Thank you very much for understanding.

Regards,

Y/N L/N

Secretary to the Queen

You sigh, wondering if the email you’ve typed is in the appropriate tone that won’t offend Minister Sakaguchi; in all the years you’ve been working for the royal family it doesn’t get easier writing and replying to the emails of government officials, invitations to interview Her Majesty for magazine features, requests to attend public functions like galas and balls. The ridiculous amount of mail she gets, that are automatically forwarded to you, is mind-boggling, in anyone else’s eyes. It doesn’t surprise you anymore, though.

The queen as a monarch takes the backseat to running the kingdom, to any foreigner that decides to take a look at articles from international news sources. Her name isn’t mentioned as much as the king’s when it comes to referencing big developments in the state. Rather, the local newspapers and online sites have her name and face on some article at least once a week. The queen takes care of the little things, smaller projects that delve more into social welfare than her husband’s institutional programs. She is a strong advocate for women’s and children’s rights, as well as a figure in health outreach programs for the poorer sectors of society. Her compassion and dedication to her job is what made you want to work for her; she was like a role model to you, along with her husband.

It was a stroke of pure luck that got you this job; your first day as the secretary for Minister Yamazaki turned into you being his substitute with only a day’s notice. He had gotten sick with the flu and you were immediately thrust into a role you knew almost nothing about. So you took all the files related to the subject of the meeting and studied up on them the night before, turning up the next day and pulling out opinions as if you yourself spearheaded the project. The queen, upon finding out that you were new, was so impressed and had talked to Minister Yamazaki (who was still in his sickbed) over the phone about enlisting you under her employ.

It’s been five years since then. Five fast-paced, fulfilling, exciting years working closely with the royal family. At this point, your relationship with the queen is more of a friendship than strictly professional, and you’re grateful for it. The people you interact with on a daily basis are mostly considerably older than you--ministers, program leaders, the palace staff--and the talk is all business. So you’re grateful for your weekend teatime with the queen, sometimes with her children joining you, who are some of the only people your age you talk to on a regular basis, apart from the younger maids and kitchen staff. The afternoons out in the garden are the queen’s time to unwind and review everything that happened the previous week, as well as scheduling the succeeding weeks. The stress of planning therefore comes to a head on Saturdays so the week can sail by calmly.

Today is one of those Saturdays. Minister Sakaguchi had scheduled a dinner meeting with the queen yesterday--something about the upcoming fair for disenfranchised women, although you suspect Minister Sakiguchi will try to sneak in pitches for other programs she has in mind. The queen had agreed, so you penciled in the meeting into your schedule. However, the queen seemed under the weather when she came out earlier, that you had advised her to cancel it, assuring her that Minister Sakiguchi would understand.

The queen takes a sip of her favorite rosehip and lemon tea, fingers delicate on the porcelain, and you send the email, huffing out a sigh. You place your phone facedown on the glass table and take a sugar cookie from the plate. “Just sent the email, Your Majesty,” you say. “Now you can just focus on resting tonight.” You smile as you take a bite.

Your boss smiles as she replaces the teacup on its saucer. “Thank you,” she says, relaxing against the lounge chair. “To be honest, I didn’t think Minister Sakiguchi would talk so much about the fair anyway. She probably suggested a meeting to tell me more of her ideas for the women’s sector.” You smile. Bingo. “Is anything else scheduled for tomorrow?”

You glance at your open laptop, as well as the printed-out spreadsheet on your lap. It’s an organized mess of colors and times and places and people. “Just the charity gala tomorrow night. I’ve coordinated with Subaru and she said the king will be late by an hour. Will you go alone?”

She tilts her head in thought and hums. “I don’t want to be late. Is there anyone available?”

You click through the several pinned tabs on your laptop to the tab for the royal family’s shared schedule. “It seems Princess Akari is free, as well as Prince Yuto,” you say after a moment.

“Ah, Akari will be busy designing something for the fair, I think, so maybe she won’t want to go,” the queen muses.

“So you’ll just take the prince, then? I’ll contact Daiki and ask him to notify the prince.”

“No need,” a deep, disembodied voice comes in from somewhere in the hedges before Prince Yuto pops his head into view. He walks towards the table as you clear up a space for him, closing your binder and putting that on top of the clipboard among other printouts on one of the spare chairs between you and the queen.

The prince strides across the grass in his black dress pants and long-sleeved shirt, to greet his mother. He places his hands softly on her shoulders and leans down to give her a kiss on the cheek. The queen smiles and accepts the kiss, patting a hand over one of his; her mood instantly lifts, and her posture relaxes further. As the youngest son, she dotes on him a lot; he in turn always keeps his mother company and can rarely be seen in public not by her side or his father’s. You think their relationship is sweet, and so do the many news articles posted online about it.

Prince Yuto takes a seat on the only empty chair and fixes himself a cup of tea while saying, “What’s the gala for?”

“The orphanages in the farther provinces,” the queen says as she takes a saucer and stacks it high with dark chocolate-coated cookies, pushing the small plate at her son’s direction. “Some dignitaries from other kingdoms as well as celebrities will be attending. And I will announce the new scholarship program for our state schools. There’s a chance your father won’t make it, so I’d like a companion.”

“Of course I’ll go with you, Mother,” Prince Yuto says after swallowing a bite of cookie. He turns to you. “What time is it?”

“Call time for the royals and major government officials is 7PM, and the program starts at 7:30. I’ll contact Daiki with the details as well,” you say.

The prince shakes his head, but there’s a smile on his face as he turns to the queen. “It’s such a shame, I thought you two were talking about Y/N transferring to my office,” he jokes. It’s a bit that he’s brought up many times before, and both you and the queen take it as a joke since you figure he just wants someone closer to his age with more experience than Daiki, who is about four years older and has only been working with him for two years.

The queen lets out a laugh and takes her teacup again. “What’s the matter with Daiki? He seems to be doing a good job.” Her eyes meet yours as she takes another sip, glinting in amusement.

Prince Yuto is smiling his bright, beautiful smile that the camera loves as he looks fondly at his mother. He probably got wind of her feeling run-down and hurried here to try to distract her. You know the queen is the most important person to him, and the queen may not know it, but it’s obvious to everyone else. “Well, as you know, Y/N is better,” he continues, “and Daiki-san is a stick-in-the-mud.” The teasing makes you huff out a laugh, immediately raising a hand to cover your mouth; Daiki is truly a stick-in-the-mud, even more than you are.

The queen laughs boisterously, throwing her head back. “Oh, you’re such a jokester, Yuto.” She sighs, fully relieved, and you’re thankful he decided to stop by. The queen finishes her tea and says, “Well, this was a fun teatime. I have some paperwork I have to sign, so Y/N, you may go.” She turns to her son. “It’s so nice of you to stop by, sweetheart,” she says, and leans down to drop a kiss on the crown of his head. “I’ll be seeing you both.” The queen glides away, and you briefly wonder how she can walk that gracefully in heels over damp, unpaved grass--but then you remember she’s the queen and has been doing this for years. She turns around the corner of the hedge and disappears.

You sigh and shut down your laptop, gathering your stuff as you message Daiki about the charity gala. You slide the laptop in your bag, and put all the printouts in order into a folder, before slipping everything else inside. You’re just about to get up to leave before Prince Yuto’s voice stops you.

“You sure you won’t consider transferring to my office?” you hear the prince suddenly ask. He’s looking at you, piercing eyes that make everyone in the kingdom, young and old, swoon. And if you didn’t talk to him everyday and your self-control had been any less, you would probably give in to whatever he wanted.

So you try to mask your rapidly beating heart behind a fond, teasing smile. “Well, I don’t really have a say in it. Don’t think the queen wants to let me go, anyway,” you say, taking a proffered dark chocolate-covered cookie from the prince and biting into it. The rich, slightly bitter punch of the chocolate explodes on your tongue.

The prince looks at you with a small smile. “I was serious, you know,” he says simply. “I mean, you won’t be as busy so you’ll have more free time, and the stuff I do is just small, as a minister for cultural arts. I split it with another person.”

You’re already shaking your head. “I like my job. I love working for the queen and seeing the results of what she’s done. You know she’s been my role model since I was a teenager, so this is a dream for me. And as much as I want a break sometimes, I can’t let this opportunity go.” You sigh, heart heavy now, and stand. “I’m sorry, Your Highness.”

He stands with you. “I know I’ve told you to call me just ‘Yuto’ before, didn’t I?”

“But decorum--,”

“Yeah, fine, practice etiquette in public, but when we’re alone you can just call me by my name.” You don’t answer, and hesitantly purse your lips. And then the prince begins to pout. “Come on, if you don’t wanna work for me, at least call me Yuto.” He presses the tips of his index fingers together and says, “I miss you,” so cutely, with his big puppy dog eyes and hilariously deep voice that’s sorely out of place for the cutesy thing he’s trying to do.

You have to laugh, bending down at the waist and steadying yourself with the table as you cackle. “Fine, fine,” you relent. “I’ll call you Yuto in private from now on.” You heave your heavy bag up onto your shoulder with a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

***

“You look beautiful tonight,” someone says behind you. You turn carefully, eyes meeting Yuto, in another black ensemble: turtleneck under an overcoat with black dress pants and boots. His hair is slicked back artfully, apart from the stray locks of hair that insist on falling over his eyes. Simple, but very handsome; the paparazzi and journalists must be having a field day with that outfit.

And you look down at yourself: standard black satin-and-chiffon off-shoulder gown that you usually wear to these types of stuff. Your shoes are your everyday pair, and you’re thankful that the dress comes all the way to the floor because they are getting scuffed at the tip. Your hair is wavy, the result of sleeping in a braid through twelve hours, but you manage to tame it into a loose bun that’s mostly out of your face. The only accessory you have is the necklace you’ve worn since your mother passed down to you six or seven years ago. Makeup is minimal because you are here to assist, not be the center of attention. Everything you put into your appearance tonight is just to make sure you look clean and professional. And invisible.

You roll your eyes at the prince. “Your Highness, I look like this everytime the queen needs to go somewhere fancy. I don’t think ‘beautiful’ is the right word.” You know he means well, but you’re just plain, from your shoes to your face to your position in society, you’re just simple, unremarkable.

The prince furrows his brows and takes his place standing beside you. “You are, though. You may not see it, but I do.” He casts you a quick glance before turning his focus to the stage, where a popular singer is performing one of her new songs onstage as an opening act. “And those photographers over there see it, too.”

You whip your head at him before scanning the event hall for any cameras pointed at you, heart pounding hard in your chest. You don’t spot any, but you still say, “I think you had better take your seat, Your Highness. I bet those people just want to make a scandal out of nothing.” Prince Yuto may be the youngest out of the royal children, but that does not mean he is risk-free. He is being trained for the position of Minister of Culture and the Arts; he has a large following of young people who look up to him as a leader and as a person; he is one of the most important people in your life, and you can’t bear for anything bad to happen to him.

The work tablet you brought is getting crushed in your folded arms from how tight you’re clutching it. “I’m going to find Daiki--,” you say softly, making to leave, but getting stopped once again by the prince.

He’s holding one of your arms gently, but strong enough to pull you back beside him. “It’s okay,” he says. “Let them. It’s fine.”

You pull your arm away. “Your Highness, it’s not fine. You can’t risk a scandal blowing up on you right now. Everyone has eyes on you, even if you don’t think so.” You’re worried. The last thing you want is for him to get in trouble because of you.

The prince sighs. “Y/N, there’s not gonna be a scandal if we’re actually together.”

You take a moment to think. “What? You want us to pretend to be a couple? I don’t think it’s a good idea; people might get the misconception that you’re slacking off, or--,”

“No, I mean--,” he sighs frustrated, more at himself than at you, but he keeps his composure and his face remains stoic; you both are still in public, after all. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while now, but I just didn’t know how to say it, and I certainly didn’t plan on telling you at a charity event where hundreds of people could hear.” He’s rambling--a sign that he’s nervous, unprepared.

Prince Yuto takes a calming breath before fully facing you. “I like you, Y/N,” he says softly, aware of the number of ears that are possibly listening in. “I’ve liked you since the day you started working for my mom, and I liked you even more the longer you stayed. You’re a hard worker, you’re dedicated to your job, you genuinely care for the queen and the things she does for the people. And I’m thankful that I got close to you as much as I have because you do mean a lot to me. I know I don’t show it, because I’m not sure how to show it, and I don’t know how you would react to it. But I do like you. Very much.” He releases a breath and looks you in the eye. “So will you try? To be with me?”

All this you take in with wide eyes and a shocked-open mouth. You know the prince is not the most outgoing person; he’s most relaxed when he is with people he knows, which are limited to his family and their secretaries, along with some of the senior palace staff. You’ve never seen him in a pickle of trying to get someone’s attention, but you do remember him offering to carry your heavy work back once or twice and you insisting on carrying yourself; him telling you that you look beautiful even if you wear the same plain things all the time; him giving you a box of (really expensive) chocolate for Valentine’s Day on the excuse of “I gave all the royal family’s employees chocolates”; him giving you a piece of his favorite chocolate cookies, even though you’ve never seen him offer them to anyone else.

All this time he’s been telling you how he feels and you’ve never noticed. And you yourself can’t even tell him the same because you don’t want to risk the prince getting hurt, you getting hurt, the queen getting hurt because of your selfishness. Your work is important to you, and you can’t jeopardize it for your happiness.

But here he is, Prince Yuto. Being brave enough to know the uncertainty of what lies ahead and being prepared to face it, if you answer him; if you push aside your fear of messing up and tell him you like him back; if, for once, you look to your heart instead of thinking of your work.

He stands tall beside you, an imposing figure of grace and compassion. A man people look up to. A leader who is innovative, yet respects traditions. A role model for young people who are inspired by his music, his acts of service to everyone. A son that is loved by his parents, a brother that is loved by his siblings. A friend who listens and is always there, but always pushes you out of your comfort zone.

How can you not fall for him?

How can you say no, when everything around you points to yes?

You’re nodding your head before you know it, still too shocked to properly process the last five minutes. “Yes. Yes, I’ll try being with you.”

The blinding smile is back, and you can’t help but return it. The prince nods, unable to suppress the grin on his face and gestures to the audience, milling about finding their tables. “I’ll be on my way, then. Find my mother.” He clears his throat, fidgets about with his coat and pockets. “Good luck for the rest of the night,” he says with a nod, before leaving.

You just curtsy, still beaming and your heart is drumming in your chest like crazy, but it feels light. Like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can take flight at any moment, straight into his arms.

#pentagon #pentagon yuto #adachi yuto #pentagon adachi yuto #pentagon yuto scenario #adachi yuto scenario #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagine #universe net #uninet #fic: mine #fic: not spicy #fic: yuto

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