#you are not mentally and or emotionally well!

[hellhoundzzz]

rant ... trauma rant. idk

"when did I say anything about the cost". why was today the one time you didn't. why do you get mad when I automatically assign a thought because of things you've said in the past. why do you get mad when I worry about the cost of things when you've literally told me "we can't afford your therapy." why do you get mad when I then reply "okay so we can cancel it i can just hospitalize myself because that's cheaper & insurance covers it". I WOULD RATHER RETRAUMATIZE MYSELF TWICE A MONTH THAN BE A FINANCIAL BURDEN TO YOU. BECAUSE OF THINGS YOUVE SAID TO ME.

good fucking god.

"when we get the money-" stop telling me that. stop. then you turn around and say "well we aren't struggling". IT SOUNDS LIKE WE ARE. THE THINGS YOURE SAYING MAKE IT SOUND LIKE WE ARE.

"yiu and mom don't help with the bills" 1. I am a teenager. I couldn't work until. like. a year ago. 2. my mother is fucking crippled. 3. I am fucking crippled, and have also had crippling depression. for 6 years now. 4. why would you expect your child to help with the bills when your excuse for almost physically abusing and actually emotionally abusing me everyday is "I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, I PAY THE BILLS, I PROVIDE YOU FOOD, I PROVIDE THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR".

all my life it's "well it could be cheaper." "if you don't eat you're throwing away money." and. so. much. more. and now it's "we can't afford that." "your therapy is expensive."

your child doesn't need to know that. you're making my mental issues WORSE in fact by telling me I am a financial burden weekly but refusing to just. idk. cancel my therapy. let me get to the point of hospitalization so insurance will cover it. or would that make you look neglectful ? I mean it might who knows.

you know what you shouldnt do? constantly tell your child how expensive they are to take care of. because eventually, that child gets scared of asking for money, and doesnt feed themself at school, doesnt go places with their friends that require money, because she doesnt want to be expensive. it really does get into their minds, that theyre too much money and that they shouldnt do anything.

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Synastry observations (partly) based on personal experience, part 6:

(18+!!)

(Back after a year! Lol🌜🌛)

Moon conjunct mars: can be one sided asfuhck. I’ve seen it play out. Fully accepting that deeply personal intimacy of having someone’s sex aspecting your deepest emotions and/or the other way around is a sort of intimacy that some people just.. don’t…. want with that other person. This comes as a shocker because to most people, having a synastry aspect automatically means you have to like that with the other person, but Some people are just not into the other person like that! Or have trouble with intimacy. And even though the very primal emotional bridge between (possible) intensity of emotions and (possible) intensity of sexuality really ‘clicks’ and hits like no other, it doesn’t mean that the emotions or sexuality of both of the people will be intense within themselves… or that they will be seen in the same way. Many times I’ve seen this aspect play out in two people who worked really well together, were natural kissers and such, had almost iconically amazing fullfilling sex together, but one person wanted to marry and move into the other person and the other person simply did not want that, got the ick maybe, or simply closed themselves off from that meaning to the connection that one party attached to it but they themselves could not get in touch with, and either abused that power dynamic as much as they could or they ran away. Meanwhile thatother person, and I’ve seen both the moon and the mars person in that situation, is left completely addicted and insecure and an unstable mess because of this, because this aspects didn’t cause them so much to be in love, it caused them to have an addiction to this perfectly fullfilling passion and intimacy that they fundamentally lack in their life. They wanted to marry this person because of that. A friend (the mars person) of mine once puked when they saw their recent mars-conjunct-moon-synastey ex (it was a 1,5 month relationship) walk into a room. He later discovered that for some reason, that extremely intense feeling heartbreak didn’t really have anything to do with her, but more about the affection he lacked from an absent parent in his childhood, and the (obvious to everyone else) fact that he was bordering on a complete burn-out. He desperately needed that dopamine and those endorphins. Meanwhile the moon person was nowhere near in the headspace to have that kind of emotional intimacy so fast in her 1st relationship, so she started finding him less and less attractive, and then it was over. I once had an international student (moon) I think fall in love with me (and later stalk me) after 2 dates. He was a lonely international student in this Nordic country and his mother was sick in Egypt. We could not hold an interesting conversation on our own if we tried, but we were -very good kissers-and the almost-sex was extremely good. I didn’t want to cross that line, because for lack of better words I felt like it would go on to mean too much, be too emotional and too intimate and the thought crossing that border with him gave me the ick/ a fight or flight response, like I would just let this man be wayy too intimate with me if it happened, so I cut it off 🤷‍♀️ All the hormones of interpreting yourself to be totally ‘in love’ are there in the synastry, but it’s not *really* that, and most people in the sorry position even secretely know that, even though it’s confusing because they forever remain adamant that there here was something bomb in their connection.. because there was. But imagine: the moon feels emotionally hit in their core by mars’s… sexuality/attractiveness. Mars sees the deepest inner emotions of the moon and feels… turned on. You see where I’m going with this? The intensity and intimacy is great, but for a real love connection you need synastry on things that lead to mental, spiritual and emotional connectivity too. Can you even have a good conversation with this person for longer than 25 minutes? Do you even.. care about them? and vice versa? Would you love them if they were a worm? I have even more stories but they’re for another time 💆‍♀️

Moon trine mars: so. This one is kind of different. What do I mean? Well I believe that in synastry aspects, planetary influence comes to exist in the context of the aspect. Mars conjunct a planet will get all of mars. Mars square a planet will get the worst/most challenging side of mars (brought out by both). Mars opposite will get the antihero kind of mars -the conjunct mars on a possible (and needed) character delevopment journey if you will- and mars trine and sextile will get the harmonious benific, kind of ‘angelic’ sides of mars. He becomes the Aiden from Sex And The City, the soft woodchipper. This mars is in relation to the moon person a 10th house oriented, responsibility taking man who makes you laugh in the form of making you smile. The moon person becomes enamored with the mars person’s standing for something, his way of solving problems, overcoming obstacles, his professionality and his energetic form of taking action. The mars here becomes the kind of mars that is serious about protecting and heartily keeping what he feels is hitting his mars, instead of fighting with it or having sex with it necessarily. The moon’s emotional being becomes like his healthy objective, that he will protect and will fight/work himself up for in a way that he can control. A trine is harmonious which is kind of how you’ll see the mars person get into that civilised and gentlemanly role (to the emotions of the!!👌) moon partner. Where mars squaring the moon is like a mean alcoholic to the moon, the mars trining the moon will be a driven, shaved man in a suit or a spencer, kissing his wife goodbye before going to work. The moon in this aspect is different too: like water, the moons energy decides to flow depending on the factors and tides of the environment: If the moon has no reason to feel stabbed all the time, the moon won’t act overly sensitive or insecure or reactive to every little thing. Being shown the harmonious and safe/secure part of such a powerful planet like mars, the moon person will let their guard down big time. Typically, in this aspect, the moon person opens up, becomes very emotionally comfortable and shows their real and raw private selves to the mars person in a way that even surprises the mars person. There will be lots of oohs and aahs from the mars person who is *absolutely thrilled* to discover that the moon person is actually way softer than they come across in their personality, or more insecure than they wear on their sleeve, or are actually way weirder than anyone would expect. This is like an emotional theme in the relationship for mars. Granted to mars, it actually is a kind of odd way of special, because Real selves are often only shown to others in despair, crisis, moments of survival, very few deep talks, or during sex, but here the moon person is comfortable being their quirky and complete and utter selves with the mars person just during ‘daylight’ so to speak, as if they were alone in their room doing a talk show monologue in the mirror. It’s because mars made themselves this safe haven but is also a good reason to get excited and happy. So this aspect isn’t so much about physical/primary (so sexual attraction) passionate intimacy as you see, it becomes a personality thing of more mental and earthy(?) substance imo. In couples this aspect creates a forever-kind of ‘fondness’ of each other. In this relationship it’s the sex that becomes the highest feat of romantic bonding, not commitment to each other or affirming affection like with the conjunct or the square, which needs those components to make or strengthen the connection as a romantic one.

Mars conjunct mercury: best friends aspect! Being able to talk for hours, do any activity together, spend an entire day doing stuff together or going to a daylong event with just the two of you without it ever being awkward. Being able to do groceries together for a pregame with each other before going to do an activity that you’ll also be doing together. Energy, jokes, and things to talk about never run out. Mars’s energy lets mercury’s thoughts and mind race through multiple subjects and important comments at once, and mercury’s thoughts excite slash fire up mars’s energy. Their response becomes fuel for mercury again and so fort. I know two best friends who have this in double whammy almost exact and they are *always* together. Like in the same day, they would hang out, go to do something else/hang out with someone else, then go hang out with each other again, then in the evening one would visit the other at work. I have this aspect with one good friend that I can talk for hours with. Catching up is never awkward and we constantly learn from each other, plus we’re interested in the same things, because his mind/daily thoughts/the things he pays attention to and tells me (his mercury), fires me up and consistently happens to catch my fixation (mars). And what I *do* in my life, the things that were motivation by nature of taking action, triggers his insight! Isn’t that the perfect combination? This aspect makes you very good and close friends, but this alone doesn’t grant an emotional bond. Those two best friends I talked about lacked in moon connections, so they kept surprisingly much of their feelings and what went on in their life/emotional world private from one another, including crushes they had on mutual friends 💀 like how was that possible?

Moon square moon: a link is a link, an attachment is an attachment, so moon square moon is that too. You will ‘see’ each other for who that person emotionally is from the inside. You will acknowledge it, you can even understand it, but trying to emotionally ‘relate’ or connect to the other’s emotional world causes a short-circuit. This sounds like a finished deal, and marriage it often is. This aspect imo means kind of sacrifing a part of crucial understanding of the other partner. But there is another important part: some people do not have moon to moon aspects in their partnerships. Some people can connect with a moon through their sun mercury venus and mars for example, but not be able to deeply feel the other person next to them with their own moon, like what’s possible in a moon to moon aspect. With moon square moon, the two people deeply *see* each other. It’s hard not to because the friction of the square makes them very neon noticable to each other. One moon person might not be able to touch or soothe the other moon person from and with their own emotional angle, because through the square it will inherently cause a (n immediate often) frictive disconnect, but their presence will be enough. They will learn from each other and with enough respect for the other, (seriously) they will be able to teach themselves how to manually get their moons to relate, by in their empathy intuitively touching and patting to learn what the other person feels, and sleutelingen on their own emotional patterns. With the man I had this with. I completely saw and understood how he was. We, to each other’s emotional automatic ways of thinking, understood each other, but could never relate, so in our most intimate conversations we saw each other raw, but were also like.. damn,, you live like this? you do you! 😂

Male Venus conjunct woman’s moon, but the man has venus square moon natal: so this is really too specific, I know, it’s from my personal life, but the observation is such an almost lawful rule that it needs to be said. So the man has a problem with women in a romantic or otherwise emotionally intimate sense. He either sees them as charmless but safe, emotional, and boring ‘kin’, who fullfills his emotional needs but in a way that cannot fullfill his romantic wants, because they fundamentally clash, or he sees them as these charming, pretty, sexy sensual creative people or muses that fullfill his wants and desires, but cannot fullfill his emotional needs because they fundamentally do not mesh/are able to ‘melt’ with each other. So men with this aspect are doomed to have a lonely romantic life where they deeply hurt a lot of women but in the long run also themselves. This is ofc unless the man is capable of self reflection and is willing to do the work and *respect* the challenge that squares require, but since misogyny is a thing that challenge and perceived radically different worldview of the woman practically never gets respected, found interesting/compelling enough for the man to study, or romanticised like the way in which women will handle a natal moon square mars for example. BUT! If a woman’s moon conjuncts that squared venus, they kind of crack the code in a weird sense!? And become sort of “the only woman that can tame this man blabla that he actually respects”. Because the woman becomes like a domineering mother to him. In his moon square/battle/tension her moon, so where his emotional ‘needs’ are challenged by another person’s needs, his moon yields to the woman’s moon because his venus is enamored by the woman’s moon emotional world. You will get two people who are weirdly intimate friends, because both square moons emotionally ‘acknowlegde’ each other’s emotional life and wavelength, in a kind of bizarre to witness way that will have the woman wear the pants and the often so misogynistic and macho guy follow her and her needs around like a (doggo)💀, acting like each other’s bf/gf, but sitting too close to each other?? Kissing? The thought of having s**?? Will make them revolt. From an astrological standpoint, this may be the most significant planetary relationship with a woman that this man will ever have in his life.

A woman’s venus conjunct that sort of man’s moon I have never seen, only conjunct other planets, but I imagine it would be the same but the other way around at the same time. I think she would be only possible romantically intimate partner for the man, the only girlfriend to exist, only girl that he can wholeheartedly register as ‘girlfriend’, who will hold that *romantic* muse place forever, the only one to forever fullfill his emotional needs like a romantic partner does and can, but he doesn’t like her as a person, he couldn’t be friends with her, can’t talk with her, was never even his type, wants to cheat on her, can’t admire her really. This female venus is the sensual and sexual but disrespected girlfriend to the female moon’s sexless but elevated wife. If that man ruled the world and had all the money and the woman who marries him would win the universe, these were both equally bad but extremley solid places you would want to be in, because you’d be one of the only two women that he will ever seriously consider in his life.

Venus square jupiter: I have this with almost every man I get involved with, because their venus is in that way also conjuncting my scorpio sun and mercury. I’ve found with these people that they are confused if they should be charmed by the grand/optimistic/philosophical side of me, or cringe. Either way they are overwhelmed. Venus in crush-mode will be especially interested in jupiters views and opinions and outlook on situations and jupiter is enthusiastic about the romantic muse that they see in venus and become a kind of a philosophical rant-y person near them, in a good way, because they see venus as an equally inspiring and interesting and beautiful (big ideas and emotions) creative peer of their outlook on life. Venus listens and is in awe. Jupiter is like a positive-energy bomber to venus and venus can be confused, overwhelmed, but gets all the butterflies and wants to be swept in. This is an aspect where the other knows or can relate to what the other is feeling the least, because jupiter is making venus live in their own world and venus is in their head thinking out loud. Astrologers say this easily dies out because of it, like an inflated balloon, but I don’t agree. Don’t let your relationship completely ride on this aspect alone and you’ll be fine and it won’t end with a big bang, but stay flickering like smoldering fire like any other venus or jupiter aspect.

Saturn conjunct moon: saturn wants to snatch moon off the market and moon is like “yeesssss”

Mars overlaying 8th house: it’s true what they say… i won’t elaborate 😶‍🌫️ just kidding I will of course. Having been the 8th house person, it’s actually very straightforward: whenever we talked about serious matters like trauma, (lost) finances, our heritage, and our secrets, fears, that’s when I became most attracted to his masculine/sexual side. Those were the moments I would find myself like ‘daym’, just like a 7th house having mars overlay there would have that during moments of romance and partnership.

Moon opposite mars: I talk about this aspect a lot because it just fascinates me. Moon opposite mars in the context of all the other mars aspects is almost funny because in the beginning, when the insane kind of unsettling attraction is noticed between two people, mars doesn’t really want to be in this situation and moon doesn’t like the fact that it exists at all. I feel like it’s a karmic aspect for mars and somewhat for the moon. Moon will feel every single jab from this aspect but because that jab fundamentally hits them in their *feelings* they will just think: “what was that, what even is that? Who is this mars person making me feel single intense emotion at once?” Even typing this synastry aspect out is making me laugh. It’s moon doing what? Opposing. Oh god. And the lucky planet it’s being opposed is… mars 😂🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️! Imagine the moon one day going like: “f*ck you! And you, and you, and you,” then pointing to mars “and ESPECIALLY you!” Mars turning around and saying: “what are you saying f*ck me for?” looks at moon, boom, falls in love. Kind of disrespectful, but it isn’t meant that way? Which can in short make the connection even more uncomfortable for the moon, or completely the opposite. The intrigue in this aspect lies in how fundamentally foreign (because they’re opposites!!) these people are to each other. This aspect is an up and down and up and down one, because to have the closeness that they both desire and even need, they have to do the work and understanding to become closer and win each other’s trust and affirmation. Mars is challenged to channel powerful frictive energy from the fixation that the opposition creates into creating an environment that caters to the moon’s emotional needs. It challenges itself to encompass all of mars’s qualities, both the ying (harmonious) and the yang (not necessarily that) in a hyperaware manner, and that’s one of the reasons he comes to have like ‘multiple personalities’ in this aspect. It doesn’t help that mars always manages to come across the wrong way to the moon person, can hurt the moon unintentionally, but can also in a burst of martian energy try to fight with the moon when aggravated (caused by their opposing natures), can come across too sexual and disrespectful by the moon person when they intensely show their attraction and preferred treatment to the moon. When Mars tries to be nice, it doesn’t come natural for them to do that imagining what the completely opposite person would want. When mars succeeds, a very real and mental bond is created that is extremely raw. In the healthy romantic version of this, the moon isn’t really easy sex for mars like I’ve seen male astrologers describe it. I’ve seen men describe it as ‘deer’, which can create reaally different outlooks depending on your respect and goodwill to the more vurnurable person. Goodwill especially can make or break this aspect. I feel like this can either be one of the most pain-in-your-stomach disrespectful cortisol aspects, or the sweetest and most genuine and wholsesome emotionally intimate aspects.

A little story I wanted to share: an astrologer on 27th november 2023 gifted me a moon badge on tumblr and I only opened it on 21th november 2024, because I thought it the little pop-up present on my home page was a tumblr advert 🥲 I almost cried because it was such a lovely present around my birthday and as it goes I didn’t say thank you or acknowledged it for a year even though it was an awfully sweet gesture and I really appreciate her 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[multidimensionalguidance]

Love Reading: Pick-A-Card

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Think of your current romantic life, be it a specific person or in general if you are single. Then, intuitively choose from left to right the picture that calls you the most.

I'll be sharing below your current love situation, information about your future spouse, and details of the relationship as well!

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Picture 1

General: six of pentacles, five of swords, judgment

Currently, you're realizing key aspects behind the importance of reciprocity, balance, and a healthy approach to conflict within relationships. It might be that in the past you were dealing with individuals who were generous from a financial perspective, but that had hidden intentions behind their action or heavy control issues. You might have been taken advantage of your generosity in some way. Genuine kindness comes from a place of enjoying the act of giving service/help to others, but we end up self sabotaging by creating false expectations or idealizing someone. Due to this occurring, your love life is currently undergoing a complete renewal, transformation, and process of "depuration" so to speak. You're reaching a milestone of lessons that hadn't been integrated properly until now and finally closing chapters on behaviors that you will no longer tolerate from others or even yourself. Stay open to being generous with your time and affection if you want to meet someone new, so long they do check all the right boxes, of course. Avoid trying to win at all cost or being argumentative, and put a pause on being overly critical of every little thing you don't like right off the bat.

Future Spouse: knight of swords, nine of swords, the lovers

Your fs definitely has air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) in their astrology chart, specially Gemini. They are direct, assertive, talkative, quick witted, brave, and sometimes impatient or impulsive. Someone who embodies a "hero" or soldier sort of energy. Definitely not scared of taking risks or going head to head with someone who's crossing a line. They might be someone who struggles with anxiety, negative thoughts, insomnia, or simply gets carried away easily by mental stress. Can they handle it well to the point of it not being too noticeable? absolutely, but when they are alone all it slips out like a storm. There's a good possibility that a lot of these feelings come from uncertainty in relationships or previous wounds. They are a romantic at heart and probably yearn for a relationship that feels pure and filled with good intentions. If you want a soul mate connection, then guess what? that's exactly what they want as well. They are also the type to LOVE celebrations of all kind and will show you how to have a good time. Socializing and enjoying environments that foster gatherings to have fun or share happiness will be very important to them. Overall, they are someone who truly wants to develop a partnership with the perfect amount of romance, desire, and sexual connection.

Relationship with Future Spouse: comfort, strength, creativity

You will both learn and experience situations of having more comforts, self care, and nourishment into your life. Both will indulge and enjoy relaxing at home, having a nice meal, wearing a face mask, and watching silly fun movie/shows. There will also be a need for cultivating resilience over any obstacles that might appear within the relationship. You will both become very mentally and emotionally strong together. You become a joint pillar that will create the foundation of a long lasting union. Is that all? Nope. You will both also engage in many creative pursuits and acts as well. Overall, there's a lot of beautiful experiences that will show you both how it feels to be properly supported, nurtured, and cared for in a relationship.

Picture 2

General: eight of swords rx, the star, the lovers

Anxiety, fear, and a bit of insecurity might have been moving in the background and inviting instability or misconceptions in the romantic department lately. This could be from whoever you're thinking, dealing with, or even from you. A lot is coming to light and you're being guided to hold your horses before setting anything in stone because you might not have all the cards at hand. You or someone else might be self sabotaging by ignoring their intuition. Now, there's a bright burning light of hope literally around the corner, so stop stressing, pleease. Even if things might have felt cloudy or foggy for a while, you're finally escaping and finding release from it. Whatever were the shackles that had you feeling trapped and with a lot of mental anguish are dissipating. You are ready to let go of any baggage from previous relationships, and choosing to have a more positive and hopeful outlook with a clear consciousness. There will be healing and progress coming your way, along with the possibility of rekindling a relationship that felt completely lost. There's a partnership showing up as a soulmate or ideal connection, and it's coming towards you after the shackles of what no longer serves you are left behind for good. There will be plenty of romance and attraction coming your way, so be ready for it. This is truly something you've been patiently waiting for. It required you putting efforts, and it’s already flourishing into your desired results and rewards.

Future Spouse: five of swords, five of pentacles, six of swords

This feels strongly like someone you already know or have some story with, yeah I know, that's not always what we want to read but I'm being dutifully honest. This person feels defeated, practically throwing a white flag at this moment. Although there's an underlaying energy of conflict, stress, and desire to fight back, the feeling of being left out the cold and being broken up or separated is doing a number within them. They want to heal, change, and overcome the situation to move towards a better space. In a negative aspect, they are prone of running away sometimes when things get overwhelming, meaning being avoidant. If this is not someone from the past at all, then you'll meet them after they' are in the process or transition of moving away (alike you) from a conflictive and difficult situation in love. They might appear tense or have a cold aura, as if they are ready to fight opposition at all times. An all or nothing mentality that could lead them into unnecessary conflict if left unchecked. They will understand what it requires to have the strength to fight and survive situations of struggle, rejection, feeling left out, or being financially ruined. They are resilient and know when to move forward to find peace and calmer waters. In either cases, if its a past spark or new flame, this person is probably coming from a different country or will have to do a journey/travel overseas to meet with you.

Relationship with Future Spouse: surrender, cleanse, magic

You will both learn and witness situation that will teach you to let go and stop forcing things to go in a certain way. This is of course an uncomfortable process, it hurts the ego, but ultimately leads us to feeling free from restraints. There will also be a lot of cleansing your energy and life that will occur when together, almost as if it was a necessary ritual to maintain balance. You will both feel that magical spark, and notice how easy things manifest next to each other. It's a very spiritual bond that connects the both of you, and there's an awareness of needing occult knowledge in order to elevate the relationship.

Picture 3

General: ten of wands, seven of cups, knight of cups

There seems to be a feeling of being restricted or hopeless about your love life at the moment or not that long ago. You have carried a heavy weight from dating or damaging relationships of the past. The types that initially felt too good to be true, and then made you realize with time that they were indeed too good to be true, somewhat illusory. Perhaps you've been busy with other aspects of your life, so romance wasn't on the top of your priorities, but not an aspect that was much better in comparison. Either way, major endings and closures are coming your way. There will be plenty of options within your selection and this might lead you to feeling unsure of which one is truly the best. You're being advised to meditate, trust your intuition, and not allow wishful thinking to cloud your judgement. They are likely to act as prince charming's, so be mindful of not being swept only by attraction and becoming blinded of their intentions. Either way, you will be feeling a strong soulmate energy, and this has a high likelihood of bringing a lot of emotional fulfillment. You will make the right choice no matter what happens, so just enjoy the ride.

Future Spouse: ace of pentacles, the fool, seven of pentacles

There's a fire sign energy surrounding this individual (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) with a mix of earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) placements. They are grounded, practical, and someone who manifests material abundance rather easily. Most definitely good at handling money and very career oriented. This feels like a new person who embodies a free spirited, open minded, curious, and positive energy. They will have a certain youthful spark in their eyes regardless of age. Now, despite the care free energy they can be calm and composed when needed. Your spouse will be patient with you and successful overall. They will work frequently and take risks occasionally when it comes to investments or projects. The type of person to put the effort, take their time, and casually reap their hard work. They also have an undeniable attractiveness, are charismatic, and often find themselves in the need of making important choices from the heart.

Relationship with Future Spouse: love, ideation, anxiety

You will both enjoy plenty of love and heartfelt moments within this connection so abundantly that you will feel keen to sharing it with others (family, friends, etc). There will also be plenty ideas and new projects that you will both create together, including creative endeavors. On the contrast of all of this, there will also be moments of anxiousness or being worried about how things will develop together. It might be that you both are keen to writing a script on how you'd like things to go and then feel overwhelmed when things don't go that exact way. Together you'll learn how to overcome these feelings and focus on the present instead.

[retroaria]

★ unlikely trio

⟡ ݁₊ what it was like working with osamu dazai and chuuya nakahara as port mafia operatives ₊ .⟡

platonic!dazai + chuuya x gn!reader | this is definitely based on 15-18 y/o dazai and chuuya! they are both executives and you’re under them but still high ranking. use of y/n btw. this is short i just wanted to do some silly hc's for my favorite boys :)

• | BSD M.LIST | reblogs are apprectiated! | •

⋆˙⟡ chuuya hates to make you the mediator, but dazai insists. when these two are locked in on one upping each others level of arrogant asshole, dazai seeks you out to be the final voice of reason just so he can see which of them will be scolded the most - he knows they’re both being stupid. because of his vulgarity, chuuya usually gets the shorter end of the stick in these competitions (competitions that exist only in dazai’s head btw)

D: “Did you see that!? Chuuya just bit me!”

C: “I did not bite you, i’m not some kind of wild animal.”

D: “No, I think you’re a creature far more sinister actually…”

C: “If you don’t shut the hell up I’ll actually bite your head off.”

D: “You see! Y/n! Someone has to reprimand this feral beast.”

Y/N: “Chuu~ you can’t just say you’re gonna bite his head off…”

C: “HE STARTED IT AND HE LIED!”

D: “My accusation doesn’t seem too far off for someone who just threatened to orally behead me, read the room Nakahara.”

⋆˙⟡ pushing and shoving each other to get through the doorway first. you or chuuya usually assume the role of line leader but when it comes to making an entrance dazai can’t help but weasel his way in there with an annoying amount of force. this doesn’t necessarily pertain to you, as dazai does this when it’s just him and chuuya as well…or anyone really - he’s gotta make a grand entrance.

⋆˙⟡ letting you win at arcade games just so chuuya feels like the only one who couldn’t beat him.

⋆˙⟡ you being the only thing that could get those two to sit down and have a normal meal together. they know you mean business when you invite them out to eat so they put their big boy pants on.

⋆˙⟡ you and dazai coming up with dangerous but efficient plans that chuuya spends the entirety of the mission refuting. alternatively: you and chuuya coming up with safe and well thought out plans that dazai spends the entirety of the mission ruining.

⋆˙⟡ they both go to you to talk about their troubles id think, although dazai does it in a much more sly manner; not really telling you anything but just wanting to have someone to talk to. chuuya really lets it all out on you, he’s a a bit of a trauma dumper when he feels he can be. sometimes one of them will walk in on you when you’re with the other and they both look at you feeling so betrayed.

D: “I can’t believe you double booked…today is MY DAY.”

C: “Shut it freak, I had plans with them first you’re such a little brat.”

D: “So cold…I’ll have you know I was invited.”

⋆˙⟡ dazai spends a lot of time trying to get you to understand the way he thinks. he’s totally emotionally and mentally stunted though, so he ends up speaking in riddles and not getting his point across as smooth as he’d like to sometimes. chuuya doesn’t explain his thought process to you at all and then gets mad when both dazai and you aren’t getting what he’s putting down.

⋆˙⟡ they both feel the need to get your opinion on big decisions they might be making concerning operations. dazai will dance around his proposals and take in your reactions based on the little info he gives you. chuuya tells you the situation straight up and asks what you would do if you were him.

⋆˙⟡ dazai feels that you need very little protection and can handle things on your own, his logic is that you couldn’t have gotten as far as you did if you weren’t capable. chuuya sees you as one of his valued subordinates and will go out of his way to ensure your safety (though he doesn’t do that for anyone else but if you died who else would protect him from dazai’s emotional abuse?)

[crechi]

i stare at the illustration, panicking for half a second. stress wells up in my throat, but i run my hand through my hair and sigh. i'm not the one bleeding out. i have no time to stagnate in my own inconsequential sympathy.

i crouch down, then turn the paper around to show you. ｢you've died.. either for information or satire.｣

i watch as you quickly process the grief of realizing your days were probably spent delivering letters of similar importance, tears beginning to slide down your face.

｢oh.. th-thank you.. sir.｣ you croak, dejected.

i sigh, then click my tongue to regain your attention. i smile softly; as best as i can manage watching a sad, defeated child die. ｢is a noble task.. delivering letters like this, to help someone learn.｣ you look up at me, listening intently. ｢you've probably delivered hundred of letters, right?｣ you nod.

｢then you've likely helped many people.. you've spread knowledge and made it possible for others to study, so that they may perfect their crafts. is a very honorable assignment..｣

you stare at me, your expression flooded with hope tinged with desperation. ｢really..?｣

i shrug, attempting to steal my nerves over the devostating scene. ｢in my eyes, certainly.｣

you think for a moment, looking down at the grass. you smile. ｢thank you.. a-again, mis-ster.｣

i nod, my face expressionless as my emotions whirl inside me. ｢of course, lad.｣ i don't appreciate my own voice's steadiness compared to your frail, stuttering one; the strength in it had never felt undeserved until now.

i reach out to your arm, hovering my hand over it. ｢may i touch you?｣ i ask. once you give me the okay, i carefully pick you up and hold you on my lap. i let you rest on my chest, hoping my hug to be comforting despite me being a stranger.

you don't reply, likely not having the strength to anymore, but i can feel as your once prominent tremors fizzle out, and you relax.

while your blood soaks into my shirt, i seethe. you spent your entire life wishing to be useful, to be told that you were worth it, and it's only at the end, by the word of a stranger and under happenstance, that you are given it.

your superiors didn't care about you. physically and emotionally, they left you to suffer.

you shift, weakly raising your head, and distracting me from my thoughts. your body, entirely limp as you're moments away from erasure. you can't manage a smile, unable to focus enough to move your face, you weakly whisper your third ｢thank you｣. i hold back the despair coursing through my body, and nod. ｢you're welcome, dear.｣

your nerves go dim and silent, and the blood in your veins stills. i sit there in the grass, crying in grief for a child whose name i don't know; and for all the children left to suffer, whose names i'll never know.

the people who did this to you will suffer, ten times the amount that you have. they will know the hopelessness and existential insignificance that i tried to save you from.

𝀺''𐤙 ⦂ ▍▊⃢" wasn't mentally stable at the time of writing this [moreso than.normal]. it's not.too obvious, is it?

If i was a sickly little peasant boy designated by the aristocracy to carry messages back and forth for pennies and you found me against our citys outer wall with a deep wound in my chest from a musket ball and a letter cluthed in my hand and i told you that my dying wish was to have someone read that letter to me so i would know i died for something important and you open it up and you find a single large illustrated diagram of an onion would you tell me what it was? What would you say?

[nenelonomh]

brain rot makes me angry

brain rot, according to newport institute, is a slang term used to describe the silly or less valuable content online, the negative effects that can come from spending too much time online, and the negative psychological and cognitive effects caused by excessive exposure to low-quality internet content, especially in niche communities. it highlights how exposure to low-quality or superficial content can impact our thoughts and language.

in the short term, brain rot can lead to decreased cognitive function. when we consume too much low-value content, it can make it harder to concentrate on more demanding tasks. emotionally, silly or trivial content might lead to a less engaged or emotionally flat state, affecting your mood and overall mental well-being. additionally, constant scrolling and exposure to pointless content can result in mental fatigue, leaving you feeling mentally drained and less motivated to tackle more meaningful activities.

over the long term, brain rot can have more severe implications. a steady diet of low-quality content can erode critical thinking skills, making it harder to engage in deep and meaningful analysis. spending too much time in specific online communities can also alter your perceptions, warping your view of the world and normalizing certain behaviors or opinions that might not be healthy. furthermore, constant exposure to bite-sized content can reduce your attention span, making it more difficult to engage with longer, more complex material. this can impact your ability to learn and be productive, as you may find it challenging to focus on tasks that require sustained attention.

it's important to balance your digital diet with high-quality and meaningful content to maintain a healthy mind. by being mindful of the content that we consume and taking steps to limit exposure to low-value material, we can protect our cognitive and emotional well-being.

let me leave you with these: ndtv article, stopdoomscrolling-cafe

have you noticed these effects in your own experience or observed them in others?

❤️nene

[tremsing82]

Lucien was ALSO a Victim in MaF

I was reminiscing about why I hate Mist and Fury the most out of the 5 ACOTAR books and I remembered chapter 47.

Lucien finds Feyre in the night court mountains. After tracking her for months. Lucien is desperately trying to talk to his “kidnapped” friend who he thinks is possibly brainwashed or being mentally controlled by Rhys a known Daemati.

When Feyre left spring court she left Lucien alone to deal with a paranoid Tamlin who is now an angry paranoid Tamlin, and the emotionally manipulative Ianthe who is whispering in Tamlin’s ear while also trying to molest Lucien any chance she can. In ACOTAR Lucien got to know how capable Feyre is, not only in battle but in holding her ground against people she doesn’t agree with. He would watched her stare down Tamlin and get him to bend to her whims. Was she badly affected by her trauma from UTM yes, did Lucien try his best to advocate for her needs to Tamlin he did. But when Feyre left he was left alone to carry the burden of Tamlin and Ianthe. Was Feyre at all mentally stable at the time she left spring, no, but she was there. She would get bursts of anger and stubbornness at times with Tamlin and confront him. And that was reassuring to Lucien. That probably had him know the spitfire is not gone. If she stayed I would not be surprised if Lucien was the one to help her heal mentally and would help Feyre out of the dark abyss that her trauma put her in.

But she didn’t stay and that ok, because she did get better in a way that worked for her, that’s not my problem. My problem is how she treated Lucien that entire chapter. How the narrative was changed to make his actions look like he was an enabler of an abuser. Which is 100% not true and the words of the book prove it. And well when she left no one was helping Lucien either. Because he now had to navigate both Tamlin’s rage and anger and Ianthes manipulations and hands. He worked his ass off on looking for a way to break a bargain. He did everything he could to stop Tamlin from talking to Hybern. Which Tamlin only looked to Hybern because Ianthe was whispering in his ear.

Can you imagine Lucien being in a day court library and hasn’t slept in 24hours and then he suddenly gets an urgent letter from Bron telling him he needs to get back to spring, so he gets back to spring using all his winnowing magic he has to see Tamlin looking over his coastline maps to see the best meeting point with Hybern. His hair all disarrayed from zero sleep and his shirts untucked and he has to lean into Tamlin’s eye sight to get him to listen to his frantic pleas not to work with Hybern. All while Ianthe is on Tamlin’s other side defending Tamlin’s decision. Ugh it’s like being a nail in a hard place.

He needs his friend back. He needs Feyre back. Not to distract Tamlin or to seduce him back to happiness. But because she is the only one who can stand toe to toe with Tamlin and get him to back away. Lucien can’t. Not because he doesn’t try but because there is some submission Lucien naturally has to Tamlin. And Lucien has argued even at risk to his safety with Tamlin and Tamlin unleashed a power that shook the house with Lucien in that powers pathway. It’s 2 against 1 in the house right now and Lucien can only stave off bad decisions for so long.

He was pleading with Feyre on the mountain. His exact words were “you don’t understand the mess we are in. We…I need you home. Now.” So he knows working with Hybern is on the table. He watched his best friend murder spring court soldiers in a rage because of Feyre being “kidnapped”. And he knows Calanmai is coming up in 2-3 days (I think is the timeline) which Tamlin is refusing to perform his duty (understandably). But that means it falls on Lucien and Lucien knows Ianthe is going to manipulate the maiden part of the ceremony to ensure he picks her. He knows he is going home to be sexual assaulted. He wants his friend to come home and help him put things back in order.

Granted is that Feyre’s duty no, but he is desperate to have help in spring. And at this time he thinks she is a victim of a kidnapping and of Rhys’ Daemati powers.

Shortly after he leaves is when he agrees with Tamlin in talking with Hybern and personally I think he was so down trotted and worn down that he just stop fighting Tamlin on it. Plus he performed Calanmai, the Magic chose Ianthe, he had to sleep with a woman who refuses to accept boundaries. He was sexually assaulted and feeling sick and upset and depressed and Ianthe probably had Tamlin go and ask Lucien if they can look towards Hybern now because Lucien is not in any good mental space to put up an objection. Ianthe wore Lucien down till he just had no more energy to stop Tamlin. He was exhausted mentally, and physically, and emotionally and that all worked in Ianthe’s favor and Lucien is still paying the guilty price for it. And sadly when you think about it, all he wanted was his friend back. And if Feyre or Rhys were just a tad bit smarter maybe they would have looked into his mind to see exactly why he needed Feyre home. But of course Rhys made it out like being in Lucien’s mind is a torture no one should ever be subjected to. Because god help us if you actually used your powers in a useful manner.

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 23rd of November, 2024

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 23rd of November, 2024

Question: How is Princess Catherine? (mentally, physically, and emotionally)

Note: This reading was done with all cards in the upright position

Interpretation: Trying to move on, looking for the positive in things

Card One: The Six of Swords

This was my card for Princess Catherine mentally

The Six of Swords is a card of moving on, transitioning from one way of life to another, leaving something behind, loss that propels us forward.

The energy of this card is of someone who is trying to move on from their problems into a better state of mind.

I think that Catherine is trying to move on from an 'I have cancer I need to have treatment for this' focus to a 'looking forward to a brighter future' focus. I feel that she is trying to - not ignore her problems or health issues, but look beyond them and focus on the positives in her life, both immediate and those in the near future (eg I could attend one event last month, can I attend two events this month - that sort of positiveness). It is very much a card of transition, of the slow progress from 'not being able to do anything' to 'being able to do this amount of stuff per week'.

There is also a sense of sadness for the things she has learnt (such as the entire media being willing to ignore her request for privacy and turn her absence into a cruel 'where's wally' game). I feel that the cruelty has hurt her but she is trying to see it as a lesson about how inhumane the media can be and who she can trust to respect her wishes, and then accept it as a lesson learnt and move on, rather than dwelling on it and getting all upset about it. The energy has that sense of being in rocky waters but trying to move forward to pools of peace.

There is a sense of focusing very strongly on the positive as a way of giving herself hope and being able to keep on going, because you know the future will be better than the present, you just have to get there.

There is also a sense here of a plan for the future that includes the lessons she has learnt the past year. The future will not be the same as the past - she can't go back to how things were in the past, she is not the same person as she was then - but she can move forward and create a future that gives her what she wants after this year of realising what is truly important to her (more safety is what I want to write, more security, not physical bodyguards but being able to protect herself and her children from the cruelty of the press and the disrespect of people who think they are entitled to know everything about the Waleses).

Overall, a transition energy - taking the lessons of the past year and what has stood out as the most important values to her in the past year and using those to create a future that she would like to inhabit.

Card Two: The Five of Swords

This was my card for Princess Catherine physically

This is the card of not being able to win for losing, winning the battle but losing the war, and that is the energy that is coming off this card. Physically, she is still weak, and she is frustrated by that weakness. It's a two steps forward one step back progress and I get the feeling that she is tired of this and frustrated by it, she wants to heal faster so she can do everything she wants to do but at the same time she knows that this sort of progress is normal and overall she is doing quite well. It's very much the frustration of a physically active person who know has to basically start from scratch again and slowly build up their strength and their stamina to their pre-illness levels. I feel that it is going to take a long time for Princess Catherine to be back at her pre-illness levels of fitness, and by long time I mean years before she is fully recovered. She will be able to go out and about sooner than that but it will be very draining for her.

The energy of this card is normal frustration with the slow, non-linear progress that is recovering from a major health issue.

Card Three: Justice

This is my card for Princess Catherine emotionally

Justice is the card of legal justice, but also of any sort of justice, accountability, truth being revealed, honesty, integrity, consequences etc.

The energy of this card is one of determination and frustration. Catherine wants justice for something. Not necessarily legal justice but emotional justice. She wants to feel that she has been seen and heard, that her grievances have been addressed, that she has fixed things so this will not happen again in the future. If you know the story in the bible of the widow who kept going to the unjust judge and saying 'give me justice against my adversary', and eventually she got it - it is that sort of energy, a persistent push to see justice done, see the truth come out, see people face the consequences of their actions. I don't know what exactly this is about, but something is pushing her to get emotional justice for it - the satisfaction of seeing the truth come out about people who have hurt you.

I drew a clarifier for this, and what came out was two cards together, the Sun and the High Priestess, both of which have an energy of truth - the Sun shedding its light on the secrets kept by the High Priestess. The energy here is of a push to reveal the truth about things, an energy of 'I am sick of living with lies'. The Sun can also be a card about children - just throwing that out there.

Justice is the card of Libra, and Libra is all about balance, so it could be that Catherine is struggling to keep her emotions from veering up and down all the time, which is perfectly natural when you are recovering from an illness - it does throw your emotions out of wack and it is hard to stay balanced (and eg not get upset when you can't do as much today as you did last week).

Underlying Energy: The Empress

The Empress is a card of nurturing, femininity. creativity, nature, abundance, motherhood, and also a card of robust physical health. This is what Catherine wants, the desire underlying the above reading - to be healthy again, to be able to nurture those around her, to have the energy to create and play and have fun with her family, to be able to give back to others and nurture the wider community by doing this. It is a goal that will take time to achieve but that is her ultimate plan - to return to health so she has the energy to give to those around her, instead of being too tired and drained to be able to do much about it.

There is a minor anxiety here that she has to be ready sooner rather than later, that she is on a deadline? time limit? because what happens if she has to be queen and she is not physically ready to take on that role? So some fretting and worrying about that, which may just be the illness speaking (as in sometimes small things loom large when you are unwell and you fret about them when they are really not that important). I think this is a pressure she is putting on herself rather than anything external - she will be upset with herself if the time comes and she can't immediately step into the role that she wants to fulfil as queen.

Conclusion:

Catherine is in a very normal state for someone who is recovering from a major health issue. She is trying to get out and do things but her body is holding her back. Progress is slow and non-linear, which is frustrating. She is trying to focus on the positive and on the future. She wants to take what she has learnt over this past year and use it to shape a future that she is happy about. Emotionally, she may be a bit all over the place. There is a persistent desire or push for emotional justice of some sort. She is worried about her rate of recovery as she feels it is not fast enough and she doesn't have oodles of time to spend healing as she needs to be ready to be queen when that time comes.

[shadows-flames-and-ink]

Finished Season 1 of Arcane last night, and I can honestly say I will most likely not emotionally recover from this within the foreseeable future.

That being said, I start Season 2 today! Before I do that, I need to rant about... everything? I guess?

Spoilers under the cut

Vi finally gets back to the undercity after the timeskip with Cait, and she tells Cait to flirt in the rooms behind The Last Drop for info, Vi asks "man or woman?" Then Vi's little smirk when she sees her with a woman when she's walking out? Could not have been less subtle, adorable, 10/10 star foreshadowing

Jinx immediately lighting the flare, desperate to see her sister, and the gut-wrenching tension with her reaction to Cait, the Gemstone, the Firelights, Vi's first glimpse of Jinx, Jinx's reaction to losing her sister again? Died inside, loved it

On the subject, Jinx's reaction to Sevika and Silco? Surprised they kept their heads, even more that they lived as long as they did.

The Firelights base, Ekko trash talking Vi, immediately followed by Vi hugging him for how much he's grown. Ekko scared at how quickly she set herself free, then hugging back? Wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry

Viktor? The Hexcore? The running scene? The Hexcore getting cracked and looking like it's breathing after everything with Viktor's blood? The Hexcore Thanos-snapping Sky? Viktor immediately getting sick again, like the Hexcore was punishing him? The parallel of Jayce stopping him from jumping like when Viktor stopped him before the timeskip? Now I'm sad, scared, and confused

Ekko vs. Jinx on the bridge, with flashbacks to their play-fights as kids, then the rewind where Jinx shoots the same way, and Ekko doesn't get hit this time? Implying that he memorized her attack patterns for years?!?

The exploding firelights, a callback to when Jinx was tinkering with one during Progress Day? Jayce and Victor saying the craftsmanship of the one grenade is crude, but showing that she can make detailed and elegant tech, further demonstrating her genius? Absolutely stunning

Mel's mom encouraging war so she can take weapons back to Noxus? And who is this nameless dude she's so scared of?

Vi v. Sevika - awesome sequence, Vi taking a drink halfway through, panning to all the dead Shimmer thugs, Vander's lasting words, RIPPING SEVIKA'S ARM OFF!!! Insane, amazing, perfect fight scene

Jinx post-bridge-bombing, nearly dead and hallucinating Cait and Vi killing her? The Shimmer making her eyes glow purple, making her even scarier? Silco talking to Vander's memorial, the camera panning to a silent Jinx? Cait thinking about Vi, then her mirror being marked with Jinx's calling card? The entire final exchange at the "party;" Jinx shooting the Mylo dummy, the few seconds where it seems like she killed and cooked Cait, asking Vi to choose between killing Cait and getting Powder back, Cait v. Jinx standoff, Jinx killing Silco, the final manipulation, Jinx realizing Vi loves Powder, and she's not Powder anymore. The Council agreeing on peace, and getting bombed? As a member of the PJO fandom, I don't do well with cliffhangers, so believe me when I say I'm terrified

Overall, I haven't stopped mentally screaming for the last 15 hours (I didn't sleep well if you can't already tell), so I am looking forward to see how this show breaks me next

If you're still here, thank you for listening to my rambles. Have a nice day

[unfriendlies]

it was difficult to remove the protection his hands gave him, not wanting angel to see that he'd started crying again. he felt so selfish, all he could think about was himself and how everything was affecting his own life. he was alone now, almost two years of his life seemed to have been wasted. and how could he do that when what happened to angel happened? garam willingly put himself in the position he was in, he decided to stay with somebody who both physically and emotionally neglected him, some would even say it was abuse if they knew the extend of his ex's behavior. all of that seemed so minuscule in comparison to what his ex did to angel. what garam experienced was something he knew he would get over but angel? it would take so much effort to move on, to start to feel comfortable again. when he finally managed to look up, angel was reaching out to take a hold of his face. it caught garam completely off guard, a sort of panic setting in as his heart began to race and he started to breathe a bit heavier. his eyes shifted between angel's before falling down to the man's lips as he spoke. he only managed to tear his eyes away from the other man's lips once he'd given him that smile, his attention returning to angel's eyes as he nodded his head. he wanted to speak but he knew that the only thing that'd come out of his lips was apologies. you wouldn't be in this position if i'd just listened to you, if i never got involved with him, if it would have stayed a one night stand. garam wiped the tears away from his eyes before whispering, "okay." he knew he was going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight, even with the alcohol in his system. he was both so tired and so worked up at the same time. his body was tired, he was so exhausted mentally but he just couldn't turn his brain off. garam nestled back into his own arm, no longer able to look up to angel anymore. his only movement made was a slight shift so he could pull the blanket over himself, using it to hide the entirety of his being, before adjusting it some more to cover angel as well. he didn't see the harm in sharing right now, not when they were going to share angel's bed when there was a perfectly good guest room angel could have shooed garam off to. "can i hold you?" he asked, reaching his hand up to move the blanket down just enough to uncover his head. "just for a little while, you can push me away when you get uncomfortable." it'd been so long since somebody had comforted him, garam knew he was probably asking for too much of angel right now but he was selfish. angel gave him a little bit, garam wanted to take advantage of the man's kindness while he still could.

The silence that filled the room was deafening. As he laid there his eyes closed listening to Garam breathe. Anger festering within Angel. His mind wandered to possible situations where he noticed something was off but let it go. Not wanting to prey into his friend’s relationship. Now wishing he hadn’t waited so long to do something drastic. He did regret his actions, due to the consequences that followed. But he was grateful it woke Garam up to see how terrible the man was. Feeling nothing until an arm appeared around his waist. He jumped slightly grabbing at the sheet letting out a sharp breath. Gritting his teeth his body stiffened, small whispered fell from his lips as he reminded himself he was safe. But he kept his back to Garam. Then the other man’s toes licked the back of his heal sending a shiver down his spine. He couldn’t comprehend what was going on. What was going on in his best friend’s mind. His anger turned into confusion. However he stayed firm hoping the other would just slip off to sleep. Please face me. It was hard for Angel to deny him. Hearing his voice sounds so small. As he opened his mouth to protest Garam spoke again. Angel glanced over his shoulder as the other trailer off grasping at his shirt once more. The fabric lifted lightly on his torso which he quickly grabbed to hold it down. This ordeal made the man quite self conscious. Taking another deep breath Angel turned over carefully. Having to back up slightly in order to roll over the other man was so close. Slipping his arms under Garam as gently as possible he pulled him close once more. Wrapping his arms around Garam he kissed the top of his head. His best friend knew how to get his attention. He couldn’t stand to see the other this upset. He wasn’t going to lie and say he wasn’t angry. Because frankly he was. “I’m not angry with you” he whispered into the dark strands. Angel’s bottom lip caught between his teeth, a nervous habit. His arms tightened around the other man. His anger was only grew since that night. He disliked his ex but now hated him. Angel would never forgive him for what happened. Now seeing and hearing how he was treating Garam if he ever saw him again Angel didn’t think he could control his anger. But Garam didn’t deserve any of this. “Garam look at me,please?” Angel whispered letting up on his grip. He looked down at the man cupping his cheek, “I care so much for you Garam. Just…I wish you saw yourself the way I do. I wished none of this ever happened. But wishing won’t change things. Neither of us can change anything. Let’s get some rest. That’s what’s best for both of us right now.” Angel offered a toothless smile. Doing his best to look calm and collected. However on the inside he was falling apart. He needed the day to end, at least for the night he knew his best friend was safe.

[raynnawrites]

Hello, everyone! I know I’ve been inactive for a while now and I just wanted to state some things. I’ve been dealing with intense mental health issues that haven’t exactly let me live in peace. I’ve gone through many other personal matters that have only worsened these issues for a past two years as well. I have never in my life felt so drained and exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. I have decided not to live anymore. I don’t mean this in a “pick me” or “attention seeker” way or any of that. I would never joke about something so serious.

But I am exhausted. I am drained. I want this to stop. I want the sadness to stop and I want the constant overthinking to stop. I just wanted to come on here one last time and not only somewhat state the cause of the hiatus but to also say thank you. Thank you to each and every one of you for reading my corny and cringy content, for tolerating the fact that I only write for Erik Killmonger and that I can’t write smut the way I’d like. Thank you all for the notes, the comments and the support. I’m so sorry to have to write this on here but I just wanted to get it off of my chest.

I can’t believe how happy the Black Panther phase made me. I can’t believe that some of my favorite writers would ever tag me anywhere or even like what I wrote. I will forever appreciate y’all and think of the phases.

I won’t delete my account. I can’t bring myself to do it. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come back.

Please, don’t let the sadness win over you like it won over me.

Goodbye and thank you for everything.

[bizlybebo]

that fake post got me hashtag worried for a second . i thought you were becoming delusional and thinking you were not mentally ill

i’m not mentally ill ❤️ by far the most stable and emotionally well-adjusted person on jrwiblr !! you guys are all freaks to me actually

[darcymercurialisunofficial]

is it true they call your dad the rizzler?

Be honest with me: Do you really think he has what it takes to be the rizzler?

[hevs-dreamworld]

Author hevexn:

Oh boy, do I have a hyperfixation poly relationship rn. Nazseelris, Nazo, Seelkadoom, and Iris. Basically there is going to be a massive arc where they all start getting closer, and arguably more affectionate with one another, then the drama comes right after with Iris’ family.. 👀

Characters:

Nazo: “Well, me and Seelkadoom have been dating for.. Jeez, 3 years now? Tch, you’d think we’d be married with how close we are all the time now. Our relationship is rather healthy, and we really don’t have many issues with one another. I mean, even if we didn’t get paid by G.U.N for helping them in the pandemic, I’m sure we’d still be pretty healthy. I mean, we don’t have spending habits like impulse buying large purchases often, and we usually agree on the large purchases if it’s over $100,000.” (<- got paid MILLIONS by G.U.N when he and seelkadoom helped with the pandemic in 2021 with a vaccine, but no matter where the money goes, he always still has too much money to spend-)

Seelkadoom: “yep, despite us being villains, we’re actually a pretty healthy couple! We just got lucky in all areas of life, and it’s ironic how we got so far!” -smiles-

Extra question: “for the fans, would you two ever be open to a polyamorous relationship?”

Nazo: “Ehh, it depends. If we both like the same person, then sure, but if not we’d probably talk about it and see if it’s a smart idea. I mean, our stuff is pretty sacred, we don’t want someone to disrespect that.”

Seelkadoom: “wholeheartedly agree on that. We both have certain boundaries that are not to be crossed, either by each other or by our friends and family. So while we’re not against it, we are going to be a little picky on who we choose to let in.”

—————————————————————————————————————

Iris: “Me, in a relationship? Honey, I’m the Heartbreaker of Solleanna for a reason. I’m not interested in a relationship, especially if they don’t have anything I want in particular. Men are immature, don’t take care of themselves half the time, they’re mentally weak, and emotionally fragile. I mean, have you seen how many women get murdered just because she politely said no? That should be enough evidence as to why I don’t want to be in a relationship with men. Besides, I want intelligent men, cultured, wealthy, educated, good looking, and mentally strong men. However, I have yet to meet a man that holds to all my standards. If I ever do, then you better believe I’m going to make sure he stays mine. After all, men like that don’t pop up often. Why let him go so easily? Then again, all most men are good for nowadays are for money, to have babies, and filling up jobs to keep the economy running. I mean, that’s how I feel about a lot of them. If they want to make us women feel powerless and pathetic? I’ll do it back times ten honey.” -crosses her legs and sips her wine glass.-

Iris: “hm. Nazo and seelkadoom, those cuties? They’re alright. Sweet as all hell to Amy and I when we all hang out, but I don’t think I’d ever have the heart to pursue them. They’re already together, and it’s just so cute watching them. I don’t want to ruin what they have!” (<- girl’s/gay’s girl!)

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Mutuals and propaganda:

@hunniegl4zed @thebreadmeower @sonic-au-collision

For kinda both creators and characters?

Creators: Are there any ships in your au that show up that you really enjoy? Or any that are very important(like mc's having relationships)

Main Character(s) of the AU's: if you're in a relationship how do you feel about it? What's your relationship like?

Question for both awesome!!

[inkskinned]

today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.

when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.

i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 177

Now Dan is no coward. He’s not. 

But this stupid child body does have an effect on his reactions to things and honestly it’s a horrible thing that’s too small and too weak for him to use all his abilities. He could barely manage a fireball if he concentrated, yet everything caught fire with a mere outburst! His control was utterly gone, and a tantrum resulted in having to wear a stupid child leash backpack. 

It wasn’t like he was really a child, and it wasn’t like he’d get lost or some stupid shit that Danny would insist. Ugh, this isn’t even fair, technically he was older than him yet was stuck in a smaller body that he kept tripping over! 

Urgh, he’s even insisting on rewarding ‘good behavior’ and shit- must have talked to Jazz or something- because… Oh. No he wants the constellation bear, give! His star bear now, no takes back and, urgh, stupid baby body! 

Well, on the other hand, it’s utterly hilarious how much Danny sputters whenever he calls him Mom, not to mention strangers’ utter befuddlement. He ignores how Danny seems to be trying his best to live up ro the title. 

But! As he was saying, he’s no coward! He’s also not an idiot though, and having no control over his powers isn’t exactly a good thing. It’s really not a good thing when there’s a murderous-looking hero that he thinks he might have maimed in the future- which they apparently remember- staring down at him. So, he has to call in the big guns to fix this. 

“Mom, there’s a creepy fruitloop staring at me!” “There’s WHAT?!” Hah. Take that hero he doesn’t remember the name of.

(Behold the Grumpiest of Babies)