#you already had 4 evolution lines that were bug/flying

[sausage-rolll]

It’s crazy to me that gamefreak made surskit a really unique pokemon, being the only bug/water type in existence up until gen 7, in a type pool that was so painfully oversaturated with bug/flying and bug/poison pokemon which desperately needed the variety that surskit brought to the table… only to have it evolve into yet another bug/flying type.

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Since Sylveon from Courtney (Prodject SNT) has trolled every pokemon, I decided to make my own roasts, starting with Kanto.

Bulbasaur: How does it feel to be the best Kanto starter strategically and yet also the least popular?

Ivysaur: If it wasn't for smash, most people would've forgotten that you exist.

Venusaur: Why do you have such an ugly backside?

Charmander: For the most popular starter, you'd think you would have a more consistent sprite.

Charmeleon: Pikachu being a mouse I get, but how are you a chameleon!?

Charizard: Their category should be changed to "The cash cow pokemon".

Squirtle: Remember when people thought you were part squirrel because of your name and tail?

Wartortle: Who are you again?

Blastoise: How do you grab anything with those stubby arms?

Caterpie: Hello, Wormy from Spongebob.

Metapod: 💤💤💤.

Butterfree: I prefer mine with butter, thank you very much.

Weedle: Well if it isn't the only pokemon who can't learn any normal type moves.

Kakuna: It's slightly more interesting than Metapod, but only slightly.

Beedrill: You look more like a hornet than a bee, so go away!

Pidgey: Baby's first birdie.

Pidgeotto: They clearly dye their head feathers to get that flawless red color.

Pidgeot: Why does the middle evolution have the longer name!?

Rattata: Youngster Joey is the only one who actually likes you.

Raticate: You do look a hairy potato with teeth.

Spearow: How does it feel to have the anime label you all as aggressive assholes?

Spearow: You have to be the worst shiny I ever catched!

Ekans: If it wasn't for team rocket, you'd only be known for your ridiculous name.

Arbok: Seviper is apparently their evolution, no wait, the anime is just full of lies.

Pickachu: They're basically Mickey mouse if he had electric powers.

Raichu: The anime just had to make every raichu an asshole to give Ash's pikachu an excuse to not want to evolve.

Sandshrew: You look more like an armadillo than a shrew.

Sandslash: Your Alolan form is a lot more interesting.(it's my opinion, don't attack me)

The entire nidoran line (both male and female): The fact that nidoran♀ is the only one who can breed with the entire nidoran♂ feels like an unintentional p*dofelic breeding fetish.

Clefairy: I personally think making pikachu the mascot instead was a good call.

Clefable: Remember, the clefairy line walked so elgyem and beheeyem could run.

Vulpix: I've got nothing, vulpix is the best Kanto pokemon.(again, it's my opinion, don't attack me)

Ninetales: Congratulations for having one of the least creative pokemon names.

Jigglypuff: How does it feel to only be known for being a brat in the anime?

Wigglytuff: It's gen one sprite was really something else, and not in a good way.

Zubat: The vermin of caves.

Golbat: How do you fly with that big mouth?

Oddish: "Insert 4/20 joke here"

Gloom: Its name speaks for itself.

Vileplume: I bet it smells as vile as its name suggests.

Paras: Can someone please remove those parasitic mushrooms from its back!?

Parasect: Too late, they've already taken over...

Venonat: The anime also lies about it not being a bug type.

Venomoth: You're only remembered because a dumb theory.

Diglett: Someone pointed out that their nose looks like a mouth with one tooth and now I can't unsee it.

Dugtrio: This evolution is almost as lazy as electrode.(I'm gonna get a lot of death threats with how much I'm bashing gen one)

Meowth: You're the Tom to Pikachu's Jerry.

Persian: Try not to get a big head, okay?

Psyduck: Do you need some ibuprofen?

Golduck: It's the "why isn't this a psychic type" pokemon.

Mankey: The manly monkey.

Primape: How does it learn iron tail without having a tail?(especially if the primape's female?)

Growlithe: Baby's first doggo.

Arcane: The rejected legendary.

Poliwag: Just a round boi.

Polywhirl: Congratulations, you can finally hold things.

Polywrath: Why are you so pissed, man?

Abra: The teleporting troll.

Kadabra: the fact that they used to be a human has very disturbing implications.

Alakazam: The perfect pokemon to eat icecream with.

Machop: Why does it have chest gills?

Machoke: It pisses me off that pokemon like delphox and meowscarada get demonized for being "too humanoid" when this fucker exist!

Machamp: Why does it look like it's wearing briefs?

Bellsprout: Its head sure does look like a bell.

Weepinbell: One of many gen one poison/grass types.

Victreebel: Remember, Victreebel walked so guzzlord could run.

Tentacool: Funny, you're actually not cool at all.

Tentacruel: That name makes more sense.

Geodude: I was gonna say "baby's first rock monster" but that joke has already been used twice.

Graveler: Why did you grow an extra set of arms, only to ditch them once you evolve!?

Golem: Why do you have a lizard face all of a sudden?

Ponyta: Imagine your kid wanting a horse for either their birthday or Christmas and the only option is one that would burn the house down.

Rapidash: You want me to ride on its back!? Yeah, I'll just take the bus.

Slowpoke: No thoughts, head empty.

Slowbro: I can't get over the fact that it's constantly being bitten.

Magnemite: This should've been a gen two pokemon so it could've been a steel type from the beginning.

Magnaton: It's Dugtrio all over again!

Farfetche'd: Was the apostrophe really necessary?

Doduo: "Cause you know two heads are better than one"

Dodrio: They're just a bird version of Cerberus.

Seel and Dewgong: And the award for the least creative pokemon names goes to...these losers!

Grimer: I heard this thing eats sewage.🤢

Muk: It has an unfortunate backwards name.

Shellder: Why is its tounge all ways out?

Cloyster: They knew what they were doing when they paired it with an onix.

Gastly: Our first ghost type was a ball of gas, really?

Hanter: There really isn't anything to roast with this pokemon.

Gengar: You look more like a scrapped grimace design than an actual ghost.(definitely getting death threats for that)

Onix: Pikachu winning against Brock's onix using water sprinklers was a total ass pull!

Drowzee: Mikey's favorite pokemon.

Hyno: They got a lemon for a nose.

Krabby: Mmmmm, crab legs.....

Kingler: If only that kingler curry wasn't exclusive to Japan.

Voltorb: The bomb pokemon.

Electrode: The laziest design.(tied with pawmo)

Exeggcute: Nothing cute about this pokemon.

Exeggutor: I know they're seeds, but how do egg looking seeds evolve into a palm tree!?

Cubone and Marowak: Why would you make a pokemon who's whole gimmick is having a dead mother, you monster!?

Hitmonlee: I have no mouth and I must scream!

Hitmonchan: It does look like it's wearing a dress.(and an ugly dress at that)

Lickitung: In Japan, this is the innuendo pokemon and not bellsprout.

Koffing and Weezing: It's been three years since the pandemic and I still don't think talking about them is tasteful.

Rhyhorn: Again, I'll take the bus.

Rhydon: The first ever pokemon.(created by the developers that is)

Chansey: Stop letting people eat your babies!

Tangela: The only pure grass type of gen one.

Kangaskhan: If the next region is based on Australia, then I hope we get a pokemon that actually looks like a kangaroo.

Horsea and Seadra: I can't roast seahorses.

Goldeen and Seaking: You're more of a collector's item than an actual pokemon.

Staryu and Starmie: Apparently, starfish come from outer space.

Mr.Mime: I read a dex entry about how it slaps people with its big hands and now all I can think of is that Will Smith meme but with Mr.Mime.

Syther: Or alakazam according to team rocket.

Jinx: Probably the most controversial pokemon in existence.

Electabuzz: Prepare to evolve into a very ugly pokemon in gen 4.

Magmar: They got a butt on their head.

Pinser: I can't get over their sideways mouth.

Tauros: Who put astrology into pokemon!?

Magikarp: Keeping using splash, and maybe we can win.

Gyarados: I think the only reason they're not dragon type is so they wouldn't be op.

Lapras: Can't roast perfection.

Ditto: The breeding slave pokemon.

Eevee: The best gimmick pokemon we've ever had.

Vaporeon: This pokemon has been forever ruined for me by a certain copypasta.

Jolteon: Raichu for dog lovers.

Flareon: Aka, Fluffier Eevee.

Porygon: I'm sorry that the pokemon company pinned all the blame on you instead of Pikachu.

Omantyte: This is your Lord? My Lord Lunala would destroy them.

Omastar: Again with the weird mouth.

Kabuto: The most forgettable gen one fossil.

Kabutops: One razor leaf, and you're dead.(again)

Areodactyl: Kid me would be over the moon if she knew there was a pterodactyl pokemon.

Snorlax: Oh look, a discord mod.

Articuno: One rock slide, and you're dead.

Zapdos: Those wings look like poorly cut paper.

Moltres: Who set their rubber chicken on fire!?

Dratini: You sure are teenie alright!

Dagonair: I just remembered that there's a type of lo mein called dragon noodles, while it was probably unintentional, I still thought that was a clever pun.

Dragonite: How can I roast something that's so friend shaped?

Mew and Mewtwo: Why does Mewtwo come before Mew in the pokedex even though Mew came first?

I'm actually gonna do Paldea next , so I can get to the good roasts before Sylveon.

[crystalelemental]

Gen 2 was such a fun generation.  Gen 1 started things, and perhaps because of a first attempt, there were some rough patches.  Gen 2 really smoothed a lot of things out, including expanding movepools, offering some new evolutions, and two whole typings to try and introduce more balance to the system.  It's also my personal nostalgia generation, so I have the fondest memories of this gen.

TOP 15: 15) Noctowl - Noctowl would be my favorite regional bird, if it weren't for the fact that it's competitively terrible and beyond help, and Staraptor wound up looking cooler.  Still, Noctowl is a great Pokemon.   Owls are cool, and Noctowl is just a big owl with Psychic-type coverage.  It was always weird to me that it got Normal/Flying.  Why not Psychic?  Is it because you didn't want it to compete with Xatu and Lugia?  It probably wouldn't regardless; just let the poor thing be Psychic/Flying already.

14) Lanturn - Water/Electric is such a cool typing.  Water, Ice, and Electric type coverage is fantastic, and Lanturn gets all of it, on top of some serious bulk.  It's also just a big round friend, and I love it.   Actually cute final stage evolutions are a rarity, for some reason, so it's nice to have one that's both adorable and unique.

13) Murkrow - Dark types were introduced this gen, and while, as a Psychic lover, you may assume I hated that change, I actually loved it.  I'm not opposed to Psychic having answers; in fact it was much needed.  Murkrow is one of the best new Dark types, I felt.  Not in terms of actual utility.  Houndoom was way stronger, and Tyranitar was a pseudo-legend so...there's that.  Even Umbreon probably did better than this thing because it could stall more effectively in a generation all about stall.  But Murkrow stood out to me because of it's cute design and mischievous nature.  Shame that it's only in Kanto, after you beat the League.  You know.  Along with every other Dark type bar Umbreon.

12) Politoed - King's Rock must have been a very hit-and-miss evolution item, creating two split evolution paths, one of which was outright not as good, and one that was outright better.  Slowking was the not as good evolution, and Politoed is the better evolution that seems to get everything.  Pure water typing is working out a lot better as a rounded Pokemon than Water/Fighting, and Poliwrath just never got any useful tools, while Politoed got Drizzle of all things. I really love Politoed.  It's a sleek and cute design for a final stage, and it makes more sense as a frog design.  It is an odd choice of design for the Poliwhirl evolution, but it's such a good final form.

11) Magcargo line - You know what typing sucks defensively?  Fire/Rock.  4x weaknesses to Water and Ground, a common defensive typing, and the most common offensive typing.  But you know what's a really good offensive typing? Fire/Rock.  Fire blasts through a lot of threats, including the new Steel type, while Rock hits a lot of things Fire can't.  It also gets some fantastic coverage moves, and decent support.  Unfortunately, it's defensive and slow.  Slow enough that even Shell Smash can't save it.  It's a very sad state of affairs.  That said, Magcargo is cute.  An adorable lava snail that I wish I could pet in Refresh, without buring my hands off.

10) Furret - Again, cuteness wins the day.  Furret is 100% adorable, and if there were any early-game "rodent-type" that deserved to get more to work with, it's Furret.  I, personally, think it's the cutest of them all, and should at least get a bit of a buff in stats.

9) Jumpluff line - I love Jumpluff.  I love its entire evolutionary line.  Hoppip is super cute, and its evolutions are just as adorable.  Too bad they are awful. Like, competitively they have nothing.  Even in-game they get very little in terms of attacks or roles.  It's such an unfortunate situation for them, and they're very high on my list of things I wish would get more tools.  But it will always have a special place in my heart as the adorable cotton puff.

8) Xatu line - This is one that became more solid after the first mystery dungeon games.  It's role as some strange, mythical fortune-teller is fantastic.  Xatu is just an interesting design for a Pokemon, and Psychic/Flying was a cool typing.  It was a pain to catch because Natu knows Teleport, but man, what a unique bird this line is.  I also really appreciated the time it spent as the bulky Magic Bounce user.  You know.  Before Mega Sableye.

7) Steelix - If someone were to ask about my favorite gym leaders, Jasmine would easily be on that list.  A large part of that is because she's cute, but has this giant metallic snake creature as her signature Pokemon.  You never expect it.  Even on its own merits, Steelix is just cool.  It's a refined version of Onix, offering obscene physical defense, respectable attack, and...probably nothing else.  It does have a lot of flaws from a competitive standpoint, but it's got a strong design and a great presence.

6) Slowking - Slowbro was a great Pokemon in Gen 1.  It was never really my favorite, but I had to acknowledge it was good.  Slowking, though?   Now we're talking.  It's basically a specially defensive variant of Slowbro's defensive variant, and as such, was...never really as good.   Boosting for Psychic types always allowed for special defense to grow, so you needed good base defense, which Slowking did not have.  Its movepool also didn't differ from Slowbro in any meaningful way, so it's basically a carbon copy that had less going for it.  Still, I adored it, because of the design, and its role in Pokemon the Movie 2000.  I think it looks a lot nicer than Slowbro, and it feels like a more impressive final form.  Even if it's probably not.

5) Mareep - IT'S SO CUTE!  I love the entire Mareep line, but Mareep stands out as one of the cutest first-stage evolutions in the game.   Honestly, Gen 2 really stood out because of how cute a lot of first stage Pokemon were.  But Mareep? Mareep is unbelievable.  Prior to Mareep, I wasn't the biggest electric-type fan.  I loved Raichu, but Electrode, Magneton, and Electabuzz weren't exactly that interesting, with Zapdos also being my least favorite of the birds.  But it was with Mareep that I had a really cute Pokemon that evolved into a still cute but powerful creature.  I always try to get a Mareep when I play Gen 2. It's easily one of my favorites to train in-game.

4) Espeon/Umbreon - Flareon may be my favorite, but Espeon and Umbreon were my favorites for a long time once they showed up.  Psychic is a great typing, and Umbreon is just such a sleek design.  The two are a great new addition to Eevee's evolutions, and the choices they made with these two are nothing short of divine.

3) Kingdra - Talk about an improvement.  Water/Dragon meant you basically had a weakness to all of three attacks.  One was a TM, one was a move I think only it learned, and one was a move only Dragonite learned.  Best of all, its even stats meant it was pretty solid at any role back in the day.  I also really like the design.  It just feels like an ancient sea-based dragon, and it's fantastic.

2) Celebi - Mythic legends suck.  Not because of what they are, but how they're distributed.  If it weren't for the show, or rather the first movie, I wouldn't have known Mew existed.  But by the time generation 2 came around, I knew about Celebi.  And I wanted one so bad.  But I couldn't get one!  Because they're based on nonsense events you have to go to.  In gen 3, I got a Gameshark, and the first thing I did was hack in a Celebi.  I wanted one so badly.  It is absolutely adorable, and I love anything with time-focused powers.  Being a psychic-type is also a huge plus for me, and it's just...such a good Pokemon, and such a good legend.

1) Misdreavus - I don't think there can be any comparison.  Misdreavus is a godsend.  It's such a cute ghost type, and as the only other ghost besides Gengar, it stands out incredibly by virtue of not having a Poison typing, and thus being able to handle Psychic types.  Between aesthetics and its role as the first pure ghost, I love Misdreavus a lot.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Granbull line - Not a bad one by any means, but it's another aesthetic thing. Before the advent of Fairy type, this being just a standard normal type thing also didn't really help it stand out.  I don't dislike them, but someone had to take the spot...

9) Shuckle - I really don't know what Shuckle is supposed to be, and I think that's why it weirds me out a bit.

8) Yanma - Not a bad Pokemon, just...not as interesting?  It's a Dragonfly that's just another Bug/Flying type.  It doesn't really stand out much to me.

7) Quilfish - A bit more unique and dynamic, but misses the mark a bit.  I just feel it's a bit too plain?

6) Octillery - Oh man.  Okay.  Remoraid is a cute little thing, but Octillery just...it doesn't really make sense to me.  At all.  Why are you an octopus?  How does this relate to what Remoraid is?

5) Delibird - And now for the complete opposite of #7 and #8.  Yanma and Quilfish are a bit plain, but Delibird, by comparison, is an interesting concept and design.  It's meant to look like santa, with its tail being the sack of toys.  It only uses Present, which can hurt or heal the enemy.  It's a really cool concept...that does little for it.  I can think of few Pokemon less useful than Delibird, and some of those at least evolve into something more useful.  It's gotten more options as time goes on, but it has virtually nothing going for it.

4) Tyrogue - Baby Pokemon are not my favorite.  I just don't like them.   Tyrogue is, design-wise, one of the better ones, I feel.  But its evolution method is obnoxious.  I hate it.  I absolutely hate it.  Three possible evolutions, based on the stats it has when it levels.  I liked Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee well enough. Hitmontop is okay, but I don't think it's all that interesting, since it mainly kicks like Hitmonlee but different, and Tyrogue as a pre-evolution to all of them is not a terrible idea, but is definitely not my favorite.

3) Magby - I didn't care for Magmar all that much, and Magby just isn't that cute as a pre-evolution for it either.  There's little aside from just me not liking the look of it.

2) Elekid - There are many who disagree with me, but I do not like its design.  At all.  It just doesn't look right.  The electric plugs on its head are just goofy to me, and I didn't care for its evolution either.

1) Aipom - I mentioned this with Primeape, but I don't really care for monkeys.  They are definitely not my favorite animal.  Aipom is at least cuter, but it's also weirder.  Why is the end of its tail a hand?  Why does it have to be like this?  That's so weird to me.

[jrsechelon]

Injury Carousel

Week 2 Power Rankings

1. Black Hole Son (2-0-0)

2. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints (2/0/0)

3. Hyrule Empire (2/0/0)

4. The Busy Killers (2/0/0) ↑

5. Thunderbuddy4Life (2/0/0) ↑

6. Evolution (1/1/) ↑

7. Buds Bums (1/1/0) ↓

8. Rainelo Hawks (1/1/0) ↑

9. Ultimate Savages (1/1/0) ↓

10. VanillaGorillas (1/1/0) ↑

11. The Canadian Cripplers (1/1/0) ↓

12. Straight Edge Society (0/2/0) ↓

13. Yuba City Sultans (0/2/0) —

14. BroncosTillDeath (0/2/0) ↑

15. Balls Deep (0/2/0) ↓

16. PURPLEHAZE (0/2/0) —

Week 2 was plagued with the injury bug. All over the league, so many teams got hit with big blows. Without a proper offseason and preseason, we saw the effects of what that meant. It all unfolded in the game between Balls Deep and Black Hole Son. Balls Deep had the lead late against the defending Super Bowl Champions when their running back and quarterback suffered injuries that would knock them out of the game. This left the door open for Black Hole Son to storm back. Dak Prescott got his group going and was able to cap off a late-game comeback which pushed the defending Champions to 2/0/0. Going through each team we'll discuss their biggest injury or whether the team skidded by without suffering an injury in a Week 2 filled with them.

Balls Deep - The injuries started in Week 1 for Balls Deep. Losing tight end George Kittle hurt, they were down their star tight end, and although all signs point for Kittle to start in Week 3 against Evolution the injuries don't end there. Running back Raheem Mostert has already been ruled as doubtful, the optimism is that Mostert won't be sidelined for multiple weeks but without the versatile back, Balls Deep will have to rely on Jordan Howard and Chase Edmunds. There is interest in free agency that can see this team brining in other backs to lead the way if they feel Howard or Edmunds is too big of a gamble. The biggest injury which plagues this team now and for multiple weeks is Jimmy Garoppolo. Jimmy Garoppolo said on Monday evening, "There's a chance I'll suit up." But the more likely scenario will see Jimmy G sidelined for several weeks. The high ankle injury which he suffered in the loss against Black Hole Son is one Balls Deep shouldn't rush him back on. Garoppolo has to be able to plant his feet and be light standing in the pocket, if his ankle isn't one-hundred percent, it's likely he may suffer a more serious injury. Balls Deep wide receivers are also suffering from injuries. It's likely Perriman, Adams, and Sheppard are all a-go on Sunday but the nagging injuries this team is feeling have to put the coaching staff on alert. It's uncertain where they'll go at the quarterback position if Garoppolo can't play, there are some rumblings of them bringing in the rookie quarterback and former Oregon Duck, Justin Herbert.

Black Hole Son - This team was one of the few teams that didn't feel the injury bug hit them in Week 2, instead, they felt it briefly in Week 1. Tight end Jack Doyle suffered an ankle/knee injury which many believed our sideline him for several weeks. Reports coming out of Las Vegas though are Jack Doyle can be ready to suit up and play in a Week 3 contest against Buds Bums if Black Hole Son elects to activate Doyle. With the recently signed O.J. Howard at the tight end position and the strong blocking/opening of holes for Josh Jacobs in the win against Balls Deep, it wouldn't be surprising if Black Hole Son coaching staff elected to keep Howard in the lineup moving forward. Doyle should be ready though if they elected otherwise.

BroncosTillDeath - Losing Saquon Barkley and Paris Campbell for the expected future and falling to 0/2/0 it's back to the drawing board for the team in Denver. Black Hole Son will have to find a suitable replacement in the backfield to replace Barkley. Last week we noted Barkley didn't look like a complete back and perhaps we know why now. There are rumors that Barkley was suffering through knee pain during training camp but kept it quiet. Now that he's done for the year and Campbell will be out at the very least for 3 games, BroncosTillDeath has to find players to sign and plug in to help them rebound in a must-win scenario against Yuba City Sultans. Luckily for BroncosTillDeath, they have added depth in the running back and wide receiver positions. Kenyan Drake and the emergence of Zach Moss have been a pleasant surprise. They will only have to add depth to that combination going forward. As for the wide receiver room, Campbell was 5th on the depth chart so with OBJ, McLaurin, Kupp, and Moore still ahead of Paris, BroncosTillDeath won't fret too much with that injury. As they move forward in trying to salvage their early-season miseries, Moss and Drake will be leaned on heavily as the quarterback position in Denver may change from week-in to week-out.

Buds Bums - Though Buds Bums suffered their first loss on the season in Week 2, they made out like a bandit and didn't suffer one single injury. This is a plus for a team that has a big Week 3 match-up at Las Vegas and will need their entire team healthy, focused, and ready for the challenge that faces them.

Evolution - While Ryquell Armstead was placed on the COVID-19 exempt list last week leading up to Week 2, the big news here is James Connor. Last week after Evolution lost to The Busy Killers there was concern about James Connor and his health. What seemed to be a 4-6 week injury wasn't even a 1-week injury. Connor looked strong and played better then-recent memory. Evolution like Buds Bums has been lucky so far. As Evolution plans to fly across the country, from Miami to San Fransisco to face off against Balls Deep, a team depleted with injuries it'll be interesting to see how much the injuries for Balls Deep plays into the game.

Hyrule Empire - Hit by several injuries over the course of the last two weeks you wouldn't think this team has had to endure such a thing. Last week Hyrule Empire suffered a season-ending injury with their tight end Blake Jarwin, Jonnu Smith plugged into that spot magnificently, so much so, I don't think they are going to be missing Jarwin anytime soon. This week they lost Cam Akers and Jamison Crowder which were both thought to fall on IR like Jarwin. Surprisingly, both are day-to-day and will be monitored carefully going forward. With Russell Wilson on pace for 74 touchdowns this season, Hyrule Empire will continue to keep their most important player upright and healthy going forward in a Week 3 match-up which has been deemed the 'Game of the Week'.

LilShupeScoresBIGPoints - Julio Jones has been playing through a hamstring injury and though he's been held out of practice at least one day every week so far, the hamstring can possibly become a nagging concern. Julio Jones is a key piece in this offense but luckily for him, a lot of the load has been taken off his shoulders with the star-studded performance of Tyler Higbee after two weeks. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints' running back James White is going through tragedy which has made him questionable and our prayers are with him at this time. As LilShupeScoresBIGPoints continues their dominance they will be traveling to Seattle to face off against Rainelo Hawks for their 9th time. 4/4/0 a piece between these two teams, this could be a barnburner of a game.

PURPLEHAZE - The loss of Le'Veon Bell last week was a big blow to this team. Although they didn't suffer any serious injuries in Week 2, the Bell loss is something they have already felt. Two poor performances after two weeks have PURPLEHAZE struggling to find the answers the media is asking. This was a team one win away from the Super Bowl, they have all but fallen on their faces in the first two weeks. Kirk Cousins is playing terrible and the rest of the team isn't able to gel if their field general is unable to command the offense, which he's been in the past two years. I can't seem to figure out why they're struggling so badly in this 2020 campaign but without consistency from their quarterback, they won't be winning many games. Even if Le'Veon Bell wasn't injured I believe they would still be struggling to generate any kind of offense.

Rainel Hawks - Losing backup running back Darrel Williams from an ankle injury hurts but they also have the veteran Frank Gore to help shoulder the backup position. Rainelo Hawks looked good in Week 2 and while they lost in Week 1 they were competitive in both their games, that's without their number one wide receiver, Kenny Golladay. News coming out of the Pacific-Northwest is that Golladay should be set to go in a huge Week 3 game against LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. If Golladay can shake that injury bug off his back, Rainelo Hawks can become that much more dangerous as the season progresses.

Straight Edge Society - DeVante Parker and his hamstring has been something that's plagued him his entire career. Once again Parker is going to be battling this nagging injury and in many cases will be a game-time decision. Though AJ Green isn't suffering from an injury, his on-field play hasn't been spectacular or even half-way decent. Green hasn't been the same player since being injured and if Green and Parker can't play up to their optimal level, Straight Edge Society is bound to struggle. On the defensive side, things got a bit bleaker - Nickelback Marquise Blair and Outside Line Backer, Bruce Irvin suffered season-ending injuries. Both key pieces in this frightful defense, The Busy Killers will look to expose those holes in Week 3. Straight Edge Society has been hit with bad luck in two weeks, poor 4th quarter performances have put them at 0/2/0. They need a win in Week 3 to feel good about things and start finding some consistency.

Thunderbuddy4Life - Michael Thomas was unable to go in Week 2 but it still didn't matter, in fact, Thunderbuddy4Life looked more like themselves without Michael Thomas then they did in Week 1. While Michael Thomas' Week 3 availability is up in the air, Thunderbuddy4Life looked like they are back to their winning ways and in a Week 3 divisional match-up in the 'Game of the Week' - Thunderbuddy4Life finished out their third straight home game of the season against Hyrule Empire before hitting the road for four straight weeks.

The Busy Killers - The Busy Killers lost Von Miller before Week 1 and since then their defense hasn't been that elite defense we all believed they would be. The loss of AJ Brown last week was thought to play into the game against The Canadian (Tampa) Cripplers but wasn't a factor. Calvin Ridley showed up in place of Brown and was able to help push The Busy Killers to 2/0/0 and on top of the South-East Division. Carson Wentz without three of his starting offensive line has looked good enough to get the wins but I would be concerned going forward if they can't lower the rushes, hurries, and sacks he's experiencing for the first two weeks. If they can't protect him, I'm telling you all, it's only a matter of time before that injury bug hits Mr. Glass once again.

The Canadian Cripplers - Once again the injury bug has come to visit the Cripplers. It doesn't matter if this team is in Canada or playing their games in Tampa, the injury bug always finds a way to hurt this team. After a Week 1 win that brought a ton of praise to this team, the Cripplers were brought back down to earth. Losing top pass rusher, Nick Bosa, defensive end, Solomon Thomas, and wide receiver Courtland Sutton for the season the Cripplers are once again at a loss for words. Richard Sherman has yet to play due to injuries as well on the defensive side of the ball. It's slim pickings on that side now and even with the signing of Ziggy Ansah, they're bound to feel the effects of the losses of Bosa and Solomon. Sutton was supposed to have a big year, that has all but been dimmed with his season-ending injury. The coach has gone where they always go, naming Cam Newton the starting quarterback for Week 3. Benching Brady who didn't look right in the heat (as we figured he wouldn't) - gives Cam Newton a chance to retake his starting role with The Canadian Cripplers. Week 3 they'll travel to the Windy City and play longtime friend and rival VanillaGorillas.

Ulitmate Savages - McCaffrey suffered a right high-ankle sprain during Sunday's loss to Hyrule Empire and will miss 4-to-6 weeks, with that being said, Ultimate Savages also sustained an injury to their other running back, Malcolm Brown who underwent surgery for a broken left pinkie finger. Luckily for them, Brown should be good to go Week 3 against PURPLEHAZE - losing their number one overall draft pick in Week 2 for 4-to-6 weeks is a big blow though. This team had looked like an unstoppable force but after the beating that took place Week 2, Ultimate Savages will have to get things going with other players which CMC heals.

VanaillGorillas - Sammy Watkins suffered a concussion in the win against PURPLEHAZE in Week 2; he will have to go through protocol in order to suit up in Week 3. With Philip Lindsay already ruled out after getting injured in Week 1 - VanillaGorillas will continue to lean heavily on rookie running back Johnathan Taylor. A young core of players built on the backbone of rookies, VanillaGorillas will now ask their rookies to step up big time the rest of the season as the injuries may or may not mount for the veterans on this team.

Yuba City Sultans - Deebo Samuels has been a player we've been waiting for to suit up for the 2020 season, it doesn't look like Week 3 will be the week either. Diontae Johnson continues to deal with a lingering toe injury which has made his status of Week 3 questionable, and D.J. Chark continues to mend a chest injury. This team is depleted at the receiver position - luckily for them, this team is built for the ground. Their running backs are their prime focus week-in and week-out. At 0/2/0 and hampering injuries hindering their receiver core, Yuba City Sultans needs more of the same from King Henry and Nick Chubb who almost won the game against Thunderbuddy4Life themselves. It isn't a good recipe for success but right now it seems this team will have to ask a lot for their backs, let's just hope Henry and Chubb can shoulder the load.

With injuries mounting, let's hope we don't witness as many in Week 3. It's got to be difficult for these teams and players who have had to muster an offseason and training camp with COVID-19 and now feeling the harsh reality of lack of conditioning, it's scary to say, I doubt this isn't the last we've been so many elite core players go down with injuries in 2020.

CLICK TO VOTE

[savan27]

I dare you to answer all 170 questions minus the ones you already answered

Jesus Christ Al

1- how tall do you wish you were: I could stand to be a bit taller

2- dream pet: dragon

3- favorite clothing style: don’t have one

4- favorite video game growing up: didn’t have one

5- 3 things/people I think about most: various characters, friends and what is available to eat

6- warning label: WARNING: PRONE TO STRANGE FLIGHTS OF FANCY

7- opinion on {insert thing}: {insert thing} is not to be spoken of

8- greek personality type: melancholic 

9- Ticklish: Yes

10- allergies: none

11- sexuality: Demiromantic Asexual

15- favorite YouTuber: either Dan and Phil, Thomas Sanders or Rhett and Link

16- height: 5′4

17- what would I change my name to: Either Sage or Amaris

18- weight: 122 lbs

21- religious: no

22- pet peeves; being condescended to, people who break the spines or books or fold pages

24- Orion because I like the myth behind it

25- Favorite star: how could  pick a favorite?

26- ball-jointed dolls: yes

27- fears: failure, spiders, social interaction

28- global warming: real and dangerous

29- reincarnation: possible

30- favorite movie: Can’t choose

31- scare easy: no but I startle easy

32- pets: 31 in my life and counting

33- rate blog of questioner: 10/10

34- calm color: blue

35- place to go: Colorado

36- born: Florida

37- eye color: blue

38- introvert/extrovert: introvert

39- horoscopes and zodiac: I believe to some extent

40- hugs/kisses: hugs

41- want to visit: @my-best-is-messy @eldritch-aberration @ace-psychopath-in-a-tardis @book-nerd1127 @crypticinfrastructure @themanwiththesuitcaseofflies @anne-heist @aph--rome @tombstonescreak

42- love deeply: My close friends

43- piercings: aside from my ears(which I already have) don’t have an interest

44- opinion on tattoos and piercings: cool

45- smoke: NO

46- crush: no

47: sound I hate: silverware sliding against a glass plate

48- sound I love: violin

49- backflip; no

50- split: used to be able to, not anymore

51- fav actor; Misha collins

52- fav movie; can’t choose

53- felling right now: so many questions

54- color id like my hair to be: blue

55- happiest; listening to music and daydreaming by the pool

56- calms me: my cat

57- disorders: maladaptive daydreaming(only official one anyhow)

58- URL meaning: favorite oc and favorite number

59-three word description: nerd, weird, quiet

60- evolution: real

61- unfollow for: discrimination and of course porn bots

62- follow for: quality memes, kindness

63- fav kind of person: honest

64- fav animals: cat, owl, frilled shark

65- three of my favorite blogs: @my-best-is-messy @eldritch-aberration @tombstonescreak

66- fav emoticon: on laptop so I’ll just say the knife

67- fav meme: can't choose

68- MBTI: INTP-A

69- star sign: Taurus

70- dog roll over on command: no

71- clothes I wear most often: t-shirt and jeans

72- in a moment

73- platform shoes: no

74: fact: I have memorized every song of all my favorite groups 

75- front flip: no

76- birds: yes

77- swimming: YES!

78- swimming/ice skating: swimming

79- wish didn't exist: prejudice

80- wish existed: dragons

81- piercings I have: ears

82- enjoy: reading

83- fav person to talk to: can’t choose

84- first impression of Tumblr: overwhelming

85- followers: just blocked all the porn bots, down to 38

86- mile within ten minutes: yes

87- matching socks: no

88- touch toes with straight legs: yes

89- birthstone: emerald

90- be an animal: cat

91- flower to represent me: Carolina Jasmine

92- store I hate: JC Penny 

93- coffee per day: dont drink coffee

94- fly/read minds: telepathy all the way

95- camo: no

96- winter/summer: summer

97- hold breath: 1 minute

98- least fav person: Donald Trump

99- look up to: fictional characters

100- store I love: Barnes and Noble

101- fav type of shoe: flip flop

102- live: Florida

103-vegetarian/vegan: no

104- fav gem: serpentine

105- milk: so much 

106- bugs: from a distance

107- spiders: NO

108- paranoid about: everything

109- draw: not even a straight line

110- noisiest question asked: ever had sex

111- question I hate: Do you have a boyfriend yet?

112- bitten by a spider: yes

113- waves at beach: yessss

114- cloudy/sunny: clouds

115- person to cuddle: Volunteers?

116- cloud type: ???

117- color of sky: don’t want to change it

118- freckles: yes

119- fav thing about a person: mind

120- fruit/veggie: fruit

121- do right now: stop answering questions

122- ocean/sky: ocean

123- sweet/sour: sour

124- bright/dim lights: depends on mood

125- believe in magical creature: many yes

126- hate about Tumblr: unreasonable hate and anger

127- love about Tumblr: the cool people

128- think about least: ???

129- written on tombstone: I benefited the world

130- punching the face: Trump

131- love and hate about myself: independent to a fault

132- smile with teeth in pictures: yes

133- computer/TV: computer

134- roller coasters: yesssss

135- motion sickness: no

136- ear lobes: detached 

137- karma: possible

138- attractive 1-10: 4

139- nicknames: cat, catfish, Yoda Breath, Katie Quinn, YO YO, doo floppy

140- imaginary friends- many

141- therapist: no but I probably should

142- good or bad influence: depends on the day

143-giving/receiving gifts/help: giving

144- angry: ignorance 

145- languages fluent in: 1

146- prefer boys, girls or non-bianarys: all are cool with me

147- androgynous: no

148- fav physical feature: eyes

149- fav personality trait: intelligence

150- 3 people to talk to in person @my-best-is-messy @eldritch-aberration @tombstonescreak

151- live in past: Classical Greece

152- BuzzFeed: no

153- meet partner: N/A

154- platonic kisses: sure

155- play with others hair: yes

156- embarrasses me: everything

157- make me nervous: lots

158- biggest lie- just tell a lot of small lies really

159- following: 160

160-  # of posts: 6, 280

161- drafts on blogs: none

162- # of likes: 10, 878

163- last time cried: two days ago, library of congress was too pretty

164- long or short hair: LONG

165- Longest hair has been: long enough to sit on

166- reason for felling on religion: I just don’t care

167- care how world was created: yes

168- wear makeup: no

169- handstand: no

170- Truthful answers: yes

[chokemeseokjin]

for that ask thing... do em all... all 170... do it 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

OK LET’S DO THIS

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I wish I was like 5′6″ tbh i’m too tall2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) fucking dragon mate3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? I like kinda cute pastel shit but not really girly? does that even make sense?4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Nintendogs?5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My gf, bees and flowers6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Approach with caution, cries easily and afraid of loud noises7: What is your opinion on Mo being unfaithful to Jimin? Unsurprising and relatable (ily)8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] IDK9: Are you ticklish? incredibly pls don’t touch me10: Are you allergic to anything? I’m lactose intolerant so… yeah11: What’s your sexuality? bi bi bi12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? tea i am a brit after all13: Are you a cat or dog person? B O T H14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? vampire fam that’d be so cool15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? either Dan and Phil or Tomska, Dan and Phil are one in my head ok shut up16: How tall are you? 5′10″ :)))17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Evie bc that was what i was going to be called and I would prefer it,,,,18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] idk fam19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? kinda?20: Do you like space or the ocean more? S P A C E FAM THE STARS ARE JUST !!!!21: Are you religious? nah22: Pet peeves? When ppl walk really slowly in the middle of the fucking pavement23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? nocturnal24: Favorite constellation? gemini obviously where my hoes at25: Favorite star? Kim Seokjin26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? the fuck are they?27: Any phobias or fears? the dark n clowns28: Do you think global warming is real? yes???29: Do you believe in reincarnation? yeah i guess I do30: Favorite movie? Super 8! Pls watch it! support my kids!31: Do you get scared easily? yes like seriously easy32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 233: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] BEST BLOG EVER 10/10 WOULD LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AMEN34: What is a color that calms you? Pastel blue35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Japan and Hawaii! 36: Where were you born? hospital in my home town37: What is your eye color? very blue38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they’re interesting but the ones in magazines n shit are bullcrap40: Hugs or kisses? hugs pls41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? my gf :(42: Who is someone you love deeply? ur mum43: Any piercings you want? more on my ears and maybe my nose44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yes!!!!45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? i have yh46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! how to describe min yoongi,,,,47: What is a sound you really hate? metal being like dragged along something u know what i mean48: A sound you really love? kim seokjin when he gets lines :))))49: Can you do a backflip? no i’m not jungkook50: Can you do the splits? nearly lol51: Favorite actor and/or actress? I lov Andrew Garfield with all my heart 52: Favorite movie? u asked this already but I’ll chose another one soooooooo um Breakfast Club bc i am a white girl53: How are you feeling right now? sleepy54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? same colour it is now tbh55: When did you feel happiest? sleeping56: Something that calms you down? watching youtube videos specifically gaming ones idk why but it’s rlly calming57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] probably lmao58: What does your URL mean? i want. kim seokjin. to choke me. ok? are we clear? 59: What three words describe you the most? a fucking loser60: Do you believe in evolution? yeah61: What makes you unfollow a blog? posting rude/mean stuff or just if I don’t enjoy their content anymore, i don’t mean any harm or anything lol62: What makes you follow a blog? if it’s pretty/memes63: Favorite kind of person: nice people who’re funny and caring and actually give a shit about me and other ppl, not just themselves64: Favorite animal(s): meerkats, giraffes n bees65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @oh-no-its-mo​ @jinsasleep​ @taechy​66: Favorite emoticon: i’m on my laptop!!!! the sparkly heart!67: Favorite meme: um idk? the in tarnation one is p funny atm tho68: What is your MBTI personality type? fuck i can’t remember the rarest one i know that for sure69: What is your star sign? Gemini, come fight me70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no jfc she wont even sit when i ask the hoe71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? denim mini skirt thing, tights n some cute top 72: Post a selfie or two? no73: Do you have platform shoes? i am tall enough74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I hate potatoes 75: Can you do a front flip? no jfc76: Do you like birds? yah77: Do you like to swim? I’m baically Rin tbh78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Swimming i have no balance 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: donald trump80: Some thing you wish did exist: free traveling 81: Piercings you have? 5 in ma ears82: Something you really enjoy doing: writing and dying83: Favorite person to talk to: my gf84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? yo it was awful i was superwholock bullshit asshat i still hate myself for it i’ve been here too long85: How many followers do you have? 983!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? FUCKING HELL NO87: Do your socks always match? no88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? yes89: What are your birthstones? emerald 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? dragon91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? oh fam a fuckin scabious they’re the shit92: A store you hate? superdrug93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? i had 6 one day it was a mistake94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? flyyyyyyy95: Do you like to wear camo? yes sir96: Winter or summer? summer97: How long can you hold your breath for? i can swim a length of the pool underwater98: Least favorite person? donald trump99: Someone you look up to: is it cheesy to say namjoon?100: A store you love? the fat ass topshop on oxford street101: Favorite type of shoes? cute ballet flats102: Where do you live? LDN 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? bacon104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? i just thought of that fucking goat meme bye105: Do you drink milk? no i would die106: Do you like bugs? some107: Do you like spiders? small ones108: Something you get paranoid about? e v e r y t h i n g109: Can you draw: a little tho i’m sure others would disagree110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? idk fam i haven’t rlly been asked one111: A question you hate being asked? is ur hair naturally that colour112: Ever been bitten by a spider? no113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yah114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? sunny!115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: my gf jfc how many times have i answered with that 116: Favorite cloud type: penis shapes ones117: What color do you wish the sky was? pink118: Do you have freckles? yah 119: Favorite thing about a person: their laugh120: Fruits or vegetables? fruit121: Something you want to do right now: sleep tbh122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? sour? i dont rlly like sweet stuff much124: Bright or dim lights? in between aaaaaye125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? unicorns i read a book when i was little that convinced me126: Something you hate about Tumblr: drama and ppl caring too much about shit that dont matter127: Something you love about Tumblr: making friends and seeing ppls amazing art!128: What do you think about the least? what a weird question um idk slugs?129: What would you want written on your tombstone? fucking finally130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Saitama? to see how much it would hurt131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? my entire being132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? i dont smile at all if i can help it133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? sort of135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? motion yess not sure about sea136: Are your ears lobed or attached? attached137: Do you believe in karma? yes138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? a strong -4139: What nicknames do you have/have had? El, Ellz, Petra, Sharpay, bitch, hoe, shut up ellen140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? yeah141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? nope142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good most of the time143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? giving!!!!!!144: What makes you angry? rude people145: How many languages do you speak fluently? two146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? anyone who’ll have me tbh147: Are you androgynous? no148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: my eyes?149: Favorite thing about your personality: i guess i’m kind idk150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. my gf (again), Jess and Ellie151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? dinosaurs, i would make them my children152: Do you like BuzzFeed? their snapchat thing always makes me laugh153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] through this god damn website thanks to pepekwan,  romance at it’s finest kids154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? yes155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? yes156: What embarrasses you? literally everything157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: again, literally everything158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i’m straight 159: How many people are you following? too many160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 46,715 JFC161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? none162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 1,758163: Last time you cried and why: i can’t actually remember 164: Do you have long or short hair? medium!!!!!!165: Longest your hair has ever been: nearly to my waist166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? never really affected me tbh, people can believe what they want to beleive as long as they’re not hurting anyone/ pressuring anyone to believe in it too167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? not really no168: Do you like to wear makeup? yeah u dont wanna see me without it169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no?????170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yes I have ur welcome Mo ily

i didnt check this so sorry if there are mistakes lol 

[auburnfamilynews]

Have you ever wondered what might have happened to Tommy Tuberville if he, say, hired Gus Malzahn instead of Tony Franklin? In this edition, Oscar makes his best guess at such a scenario.

It was just two weeks ago that the University of Connecticut announced that Rhett Lashlee would be their new offensive coordinator for the Huskies football team. Of course, the announcement surprised Auburn fans all over as well as caused speculation as to why Malzahn's long time protégé would be leaving and who would be replacing Lashlee at the position. I am of the opinion that Rhett left of his own accord. Only once in Coach Lashlee's career has he been away from Malzahn as the Co-offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach at Samford in 2011. He quickly rejoined Gus at Arkansas State as the Red Wolves offensive coordinator at the ripe age of 29.

However, I am not here so much to talk about Lashlee as I am about Malzahn. More specifically, to talk about Gus during his time when he was still an offensive coordinator and ask a big "What if" question. It is the type of "What if" that could have changed the fortunes of many Auburn figures and football seasons. It is the kind of "What if" that could have rewritten a big part of Auburn football's narrative over nearly the past decade.

What if Tommy Tuberville had hired Gus Malzahn as Auburn's Offensive Coordinator at the end of the 2007 football season?

REALITY

I don't want to spend too much time reminiscing and rehashing the Tigers' 2007 season so here is a brief summation that I wrote up from almost four years ago:

To say Auburn's 2007 season was crazy would be an understatement. It was a season chock-full of come-from-behind-triumphs. Six times the Tigers mounted late fourth-quarter drives, and four of those were enough to seal victories. They include moments we never want to forget and moments we've done everything to forget.

It was a season in which Auburn tacked on its sixth straight victory over Alabama, but at the same time, the Tigers watched their all-time lead over Georgia being to slowly chip away. This was an Auburn team that showed so much promise and found ways to come up short.

The 2007 season came to a close with a win in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl against Clemson. Before heading into that game, Tuberville released fan-favorite offensive coordinator Al Borges and brought in spread-no-huddle-air-raid guru Tony Franklin from Troy. While only installing the foundation of the scheme, it was enough for Auburn to produce its highest offensive performance for the season. Also leaving the team was Auburn's other fan-favorite coach, defensive coordinator Will Muschamp, whose departure was reportedly due to a disagreement with assistant athletic director, Tim Jackson. Muschamp was replaced by Paul Rhoads, then-defensive coordinator for the Pittsburgh Panthers.

Years later I have caught myself wondering as to why Tuberville hired Franklin. According to a quote that I was able to find from Auburn's official website, it is almost like he viewed Franklin's career the way an unfamiliar fan would:

"Tony has had a tremendous amount of success offensively in the Southeastern Conference and during his most recent position at Troy," said Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville. ``He teaches an exciting brand of offense that has posted some very impressive numbers, statistically."

Now, I am not about to make too much more assumptions behind Tuberville's reasoning for making the hire beyond that quote. College football had been changing dramatically as spread variant offenses made their way into the playbooks of major college programs. It could be speculated that Tubs saw this evolution taking place, decided to take a chance, and to evolve with it.

His desire to change up his offense wasn't wrong. Auburn's offense had started to stagnant in 2006 and eventually slid all the way down to 85th nationally in total offense by the end of 2007. There were contributing factors such as injuries and recruiting busts, but some have viewed that Al Borges's system might have been too rigid to adapt to the personnel he no longer had available to him. A change was needed, but Tuberville's choice as to who to change that offense, though, maybe wasn't the best.

Auburn's offensive identity has long been associated with running the football and fans have taken to referring to the program as "Running Back U" for that reason. What is amusing, though, especially during Tuberville's tenure, is the OC's hired to call Auburn's offense for Tubs were coordinators known for passing. Mazzone, Petrino, and Borges: each of them pro-style guys who, at some time or another during their respective careers, coached quarterbacks as well. Also, it wasn't like Tuberville was unfamiliar with these styles of offense before their hiring. During his time at Miami, the Hurricanes were just as well known for their pass-heavy-high-scoring offenses as their soul crushing defenses. So tapping Franklin to install his air raid offensive system at Auburn makes sense in its own way. However, 650 miles west of Auburn, another bright and upcoming pass happy offensive coordinator was lighting up the non-power conference world.

MEANWHILE, IN OKLAHOMA...

Gus Malzahn, in his second year as a college coach, had relocated from the University of Arkansas to the University of Tulsa. There, under Todd Graham and aided by Herb Hand, Gus took the Golden Hurricanes to new heights. Tulsa, in one season with Malzahn, had a 5000-yard passer, three 1000 yard receivers, and one 1000 yard rusher. It was also the first time in NCAA football that a team had accomplished such a feat.

Senior quarterback Paul Smith, a three-star pro-style prospect from Owasso, Oklahoma, completed 60% of his passes, threw 47 touchdowns and rushed for 13 touchdowns. In a 2008 interview with the New York Times, Todd Graham said of Malzahn, "If I just let him do whatever he wanted, he'd throw the ball every play." This Gus sounds far different from the Gus we know today. A Gus more known for spread option running attack than bombing defenses into oblivion. But maybe it is the same Gus, but a Gus who has not run headlong into SEC administrators and fanbases yet.

Junior running back Tarrion Adams, a two-star prospect from Moore, Oklahoma, exploded under Malzahn's system crossing the goal-line eleven times by rushing for 1225 yards and receiving for 301 yards. He also threw two touchdown passes of his own that season, because you know, Gus use to do tricky stuff like that.

It is here that Malzahn begins to really further develop his reputation as an offense guru. In 2008, Tulsa will again take the top spot in total offense and move up to second in scoring offense. At Auburn that same year, well, we already know what happens to Tuberville and his Tigers that season.

ALTERNATE AUniverse

So from here on out everything will be speculation based on results and trends from previous years and correlating them to what did take place in 2008. This is just one possible scenario:

After finishing the regular season 8-4 and the bowl game announcement against Clemson, Tuberville begins searching to replace Al Borges. He gets in touch with Malzahn through shared agent, Jimmy Sexton and offers him Borges's job with the promise that he (Tuberville) will not interfere with Malzahn's play calling. Gus agrees, but under the condition that he will still coach Tulsa in their bowl game against Bowling Green State University. Tubs explains to Malzahn that he wants to employ Gus's offense for Auburn's upcoming bowl game, but Gus reiterates that he will not leave until the season is done at Tulsa. Tuberville unwillingly agrees and as a result, Auburn loses in overtime to Clemson finishing the year 8-5.

Malzahn arrives on campus in January, meets the offensive staff (who probably aren't all that excited about him) and hits the recruiting trail. In this timeline, the incoming class remains pretty much the same with the exception of Chris Todd not being recruited. Instead, Malzahn plans to focus on fellow Arkansas native, Kodi Burns, Neil Caudle, and further develop three-star dual threat QB Barrett Trotter as well as four-star athlete, Deron Furr.

Gus begins implementing his offense in the spring spreading first team snaps between Burns and Caudle. Beat writers and bloggers are abuzz regarding Auburn's new uptempo offense with plenty of quotes from coaches and players alike about the fast-paced, high-flying offense. A modest crowd shows up for A-Day to see for themselves only to get a decent performance, but nothing truly exciting. Auburn heads into the doldrums of the offseason with a top 10 preseason ranking.

Soon enough fall camp arrives and the Tigers get to work for the upcoming season. Malzahn has Burns and Caudle split reps with the first team unit and has Furr and Trotter working with the second team and scout units. Eventually, the coaching staff decides to redshirt Trotter. Also, in this timeline, Furr is never booted from the team due to a confrontation he had with teammates after moving to defense. As the season nears, Burns, Caudle, and Furr all get an equal chance with the starters, but Malzahn and the staff settle on Kodi as the starting quarterback on game day against Louisiana-Monroe.

In the first two weeks, the Tigers offense is effective and Auburn cruises past the Warhawks and Golden Eagles without too much trouble. The Tigers have a bit of a turnover bug, but it isn't anything that Auburn's defense can't overcome. Much like Graham, Tuberville has Malzahn keep his offense as balanced as possible and the running game churns up the sod with a passing attack that keeps opposing secondaries on their toes.

Auburn hits the road for their third game against conference and West Division opponent, Mississippi State. Turnovers and penalties really hamper Auburn's offensive efforts, but the Tigers' defense is able to respond and keep the Bulldogs at bay. Auburn mounts a few successful drives and is able to leave Starkville with a 21-3 victory.

Week 4 arrives and Auburn faces another conference and divisional match-up against LSU in Jordan-Hare Stadium. The orange and blue Tigers struggle much of the first quarter, but a couple of big plays and penalties in the second give Auburn the lead heading into the half. LSU's defense really comes alive and stuffs Auburn's offensive efforts at every turn while the Bayou Bengals offense chip away at Auburn's lead. Late in the fourth quarter, Auburn mounts a drive that ends with Wes Byrum putting the ball through the uprights in what will surely be the game winner. However, Les Miles, the Mad Hatter himself once again pulls off the seemingly impossible and LSU escape with the victory. Auburn falls back a few spots out of the top 10.

The next week, Auburn hosts listless Tennessee and drops a beating on the Volunteers similar to the 2004 regular season beat down. Tuberville has Malzahn rein it in and some careless turnovers help out Tennessee some, but not enough to get back into the game. The Tigers get a solid win over a cross-divisional SEC opponent and pretty much put one of the final nails in the Phillip Fulmer's coffin.

Auburn goes on the road for the second time in 2008, this time up to Nashville to take on Vanderbilt. The Tigers hit the Commodores early and often, but Vandy is not about to go down easy with the help of some badly timed turnovers on the part of Auburn. The Commodores give the Tigers a real good scare, but Auburn avoids a potential upset and the Tigers are halfway through the season at 5-1.

The Arkansas Razorbacks with new head coach, Bobby Petrino, come to Auburn and the errors and miscues that the Tigers have managed to avoid for the most part catch up with them in a bad way. Time and again, drives are killed by penalties, sacks, and turnovers. The Hogs jump on every opportunity and keep the came way too close for comfort. In the fourth quarter, Arkansas takes the lead sending Auburn into panic mode. Malzahn pulls out all the stops and with some clever, well-timed "trickeration" the Tigers are able to snatch victory away from almost certain defeat.

After a week off, the Tigers travel to Morgantown to take on the Mountaineers of West Virginia. The match-up turns into one of the premier games of the year with both team's offenses gobbling up yardage. Unfortunately, WVU gets some critical second half stops and Auburn picks up their second loss of the season.

Auburn is back on the road again, this time out west to take on Ole Miss. Where the game against WVU had been a wide open affair, this game is the complete opposite. Solid defensive play mixed with penalties keep both teams out of the endzone till the end of the first half where Ole Miss is able to punch through. The Tigers' offense hits back in the beginning of the second half, but the Rebels are able to answer back. In what turns out to be an utterly insane fourth quarter, three times the Tigers' defense makes heroic stops only to literally throw each opportunity away with three interceptions near the endzone. The Tigers head back to the Plains with a third loss.

Auburn takes down UT-Martin with little effort in a game played mostly by graduating seniors and second/third stringers.

Preseason favorites, Georgia, comes to Auburn and both the Bulldogs and Tigers play a gritty game of football with each team's defense playing extremely well. The Tigers catch a couple of lucky breaks in the way of two Dawg fumbles, which Auburn is able to convert into points. The rest of the game is a nail-biting affair, which sees another late game lead change given up by Auburn. However, Malzahn is able to string a series of plays together that puts the Tigers over the goal-line for the winning touchdown in the final seconds.

The Iron Bowl. Auburn heads up to Tuscaloosa to take on undefeated Alabama with the hope of pushing the Tigers six-game streak to seven. Again, some great defense played by both teams, but a poor punt by Bama gives Auburn decent field position for an early strike and a touchdown. The Tide are able to counter with a clock-killing drive for a field goal followed by a couple long runs in their next series to give Bama the lead. Auburn races against the final minutes of the first half to have their drive stall outside the red zone. A last second field goal is blocked and the half ends. The third quarter is a disaster for Auburn. Saban's defense is smothering Malzahn's offense and a couple of poorly timed fumbles aren't helping the Tiger's cause. The Tide capitalize on each mistake and are starting to put the game out of reach. The fourth quarter sees Auburn respond with a couple more quick strikes, but in the end, it is not enough to overcome the third quarter deficit. The Tigers lose and Auburn's longest win streak over Alabama comes to an end. Auburn finishes the regular season with 8 wins and 4 loses.

Epilogue

Tuberville's bold move to revitalize Auburn's offense by moving to a spread-based system pays off, more or less. While the number in the "wins and losses" columns relatively stay the same from the previous season, the offensive output under Gus Malzahn is enough to get fans excited about the future for the Tigers. Other programs in the conference begin to look closely at Auburn's system and begin implementing similar schemes or variations. However, internally, Tuberville's longtime offensive staff are still apprehensive in completely changing over to the system completely despite the results and successes that Malzahn has shown to be capable. Face value compromises are agreed upon, but tension remains throughout the offseason and into the start of the 2009 season.

Final Thoughts

If you have read this far, congratulations! As I stated earlier this was all just one possible scenario. In my opinion, I don't think Auburn's defense would have fallen off in 2008 with Tuberville and his staff despite implementing Gus's offense the way it did in 2009 with Chizik. This would have helped through a lot of the growing pains and fatigue as experienced in the middle of the 2009 season. I do believe, though, that Malzahn was not going to be able to completely recreate what he did at Tulsa either. It's hard to imagine that the likes of Nall, Ensminger, and whoever else, would readily give in to listening to another outsider. Especially an outsider with ideas like Malzahn. The infamous "Tubershell" still would have taken place, but probably much sooner, and at times to possibly to the defense's detriment.

If you think this could have turned out differently or just want to post "LOL TL;DR" please do so in the comments below. Stay tuned for another exciting "What if?" in the near future, same Whiskey time, same Whiskey channel, College and Magnolia dot com!

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[crystalelemental]

Gen 7 was unique for me, in that I was actually present and invested in a lot of the early reveals.  The unfortunate situation is that, during reveals, they showed the right things to get me excited, only for a lot of final forms and unknown things to miss their mark.   Alolan variants also wound up being too few and not sufficiently interesting to justify its inclusion, with Z-moves also being introduced but doing nothing to change competitive value of most things and just pushing power creep forward.  The real selling point of this generation was the story of SuMo (which was obliterated by USUM), and the inclusion of Ultra Beasts, the coolest concept the series has ever had.

TOP 15: 15) Comfey - Comfey was a Pokemon I just kinda liked at first.  But with its ability Triage, I attempted to run one in a tournament one time, and my god can this little shit put in work.  Leech Seed + priority Draining Kiss is hysterical, with Calm Mind boosting its damage, and either priority Synthesis or Aromatherapy being great final move support.  Comfey has a lot of sick tricks it can pull, which is great when combined with its cute look and beautiful shiny form.

14) Mareanie - Remember when no one knew what the hell Mareanie was? When it was accidentally revealed on the side of the Pokemon TCG box, and everyone was like "Oh man, what could that be?"  Those were fun times.   Even better was how cute this thing was.  Those times, during the leaks of Gen 7, were excellent, because we had all these cute options that I just knew I needed to get.  Unfortunately, Toxapex loses a lot of cuteness upon evolution, but it could've been a lot worse.  As we'll see soon.

13) Pikipek - Meet the bird that was going to be my favorite in the series. Pikipek was another Pokemon I was sure would make my final team.  I love woodpeckers, and having one in the game was divine.  Giving it Skill Link was even better, and announcing it would know Bullet Seed somehow improved it even more.  It was setting up for something incredible!  Too bad that, like many things this generation, it didn't live up to the potential.

12) Morelull - I adored Morelull.  It's such a cute mushroom creature.   Maybe it's just my bias, but if it was going to evolve, I had expected it to be a mushroom princess-type plant.  Something beautiful and elegant and lovely, befitting the glowing mushroom fairy child.   And...well...needless to say, it was not that.

11) Mimikyu - Does anyone not like Mimikyu?  I'm actually asking, because it seems like this is the fan favorite this gen.  Mimikyu is either precious or terrifying, and both are great.  It's either sad and lonely because it wants people to love it like they love Pikachu (or Raichu, in my case), or it loathes Pikachu with all of its being and wants to destroy it.  Either is fine.  Ghost/Fairy is a great typing, and it has perhaps the most unique ability in the game, operating as a free Substitute that doesn't prevent status.  This allows for some great setup, and allows it to be surprisingly good in competitive play as well. Which...surprised me, for sure.

10) Oricorio-Sensu - Oricorio is a neat Pokemon.  We've had other things in the past do a similar thing, most notably Castform and Rotom, but Oricorio still manages to stand out to me.  Sensu form in particular is my favorite, being a Ghost/Flying type with a really elegant design.   It's a beautiful bird, and a great Pokemon visually, but unfortunately lacks necessary coverage and stats to be competitive.

9) Stakataka - You know what's awesome?  Ultra Beasts.  They are the coolest thing to come out of this series in ages.  Stakataka, as a newer one, is basically just a sentient brick wall, where each brick is an individual life form, all operating together to be bigger than their opponents.  While I am disappointed that there is not a pre-evolution that is a single brick called a Taka, I suppose this is fine.   Rock/Steel is a notoriously terrible typing, but somehow, against all odds, its stats are set just right, and it has access to Trick Room and Gyro Ball, in order to blast through almost anything in the game.  As if that weren't enough, its shiny form is a solid gold brick wall.   Incredible.

8) Ribombee line - Cutiely is another of those defining Pokemon that got me invested.  Thankfully, unlike several others, its evolution was just as adorable. Ribombee is such a precious Pokemon, with its little scarf and pollen gathering nature.  I just adore how cute and wonderful this line is.

7) Tsareena line - Talk about disappointment.  I adore Tsareena.  The whole evolutionary line.  But when it was revealed, and when we got a look at its ability that shuts down priority, I thought we'd finally done it.  This was the moment that Tsareena would save Grass types.   Fast, strong, able to shut down priority, it could be amazing!  And then we see what it does...and its bulky offense. Grass...cannot do bulky offense.  We've tried this.  A lot.  It doesn't work.  Power Whip is too inaccurate while Trop Kick is too weak.  High Jump Kick is damaging, but runs a lot of risks with imperfect accuracy, and is useless in Doubles.  Even Play Rough is inaccurate.  All this, on top of a middling 72 base speed, which is just too fast to even use with Trick Room...and it all becomes a massive disappointment from the competitive side, which is the ONLY reason she doesn't rank higher.  Her design is excellent, the concept of a queen of fruits is interesting, I just really wish they'd let her be a bit more powerful.

6) Tapu Lele - Had you asked in the week before the game came out what my favorite Pokemon was, Tapu Lele would've been the answer without question. It's adorable, Psychic/Fairy typing is great, and the description of it made it sound like it had tremendous healing potential that it shared with others in a fickle manner that could cause excess harm, with its battle role being implied to be a mix of healing and status play.  And then it was revealed what it did.  And it's hyper-offense through and through.  I still love it!  But the concept of a Pokemon that worked through massive healing potential and status play to wear down an opponent would've been a lot more interesting than something whose stats mirror Gardevoir's but a bit higher, but had a god-tier ability.  It's ultimately complicit in Terrain Wars, which is the new Weather Wars from Gen 5, which I don't think many people are happy with, but I still love it just the same, even if its description was an absolute lie.

5) Pheromosa - More UBs!   Pheromosa is a pretty bug creature that will kick the shit out of you.   It's stupid fast, even outpacing Mega Alakazam, and has incredible offensive presence on both sides of the spectrum as well.  It does lack for defense, so priority can be a problem, but that's a small price to pay for having such excellent coverage options and such a great spread of stats.  Plus, again, it's very pretty, and has a nice shiny that even put on pants.

4) Lurantis - Lurantis is one of those Pokemon that I feel sets the entire feeling for a generation.   The instant I saw it, I knew I would train one, no matter what. It's such a beautiful Pokemon, and I love it dearly.  But, again, it kind of defines the competitive focus of this generation as well.  It's slow as hell and bulky offense.  Look, Gen 7, I get it.  More than power creep, speed creep has been running rampant in your game.  Megas across the two sets of games last gen went from base 100 to base 110 because 100 just wasn't cutting it anymore, and new megas needed to be ahead of the curve (even if you fucked over Gardevoir to give Gallade better tools, again making the male version the better one you shits).  But bulky offense is dead.  You killed it yourself.  Damage outputs are too damn high, boosting moves are so extreme that one boost is enough for several Pokemon to just sweep outright, and because of how EVs work you are required to pick a role.  Bulky Offense for something whose best stat value is 105 is terrible, and it's never going to work.  Maybe with Trick Room.  Maybe.  But even then we run into the problem where it's a Grass type, and is therefore awful in competitive by default.  It's a shining example of what needs to be addressed in competitive, because outside of grass being shafted and the stat spread being awful given the state of things, it has incredible tools that should help it to function.

3) Primarina line - What an excellent starter Pokemon.  Popplio can look a little doofy, but it's still cute.  And each evolution only ramps up the beauty.  Brionne is precious, and Primarina is one of the most fabulous Pokemon I've ever seen. Water/Fairy is always an excellent typing, and it's surprisingly straight-forward as a raw special attacker.  It also has an emphasis as a singer, which I always appreciate.  If it weren't for my favoritism for foxes, Primarina would easily be my favorite starter in the series.

2) Celesteela - More UBs!  This time, it's the 30ft rocket child, Celesteela! Celesteela is one that I loved based on design, but wasn't quite as high-ranked initially.  What propelled it upward was battle performance.  It is such a wall, and unlike some UBs, has a moveset that actually feels distinctly alien.  Leech Seed?  Giga Drain and Flamethrower?  On a Steel/Flying type?  It's the weirdest thing, and by extension, the coolest thing.  Celesteela is amazing, and I wish other UBs followed its lead and showed off some bizarre and alien moves.

1) Nihilego - The ultimate being.  Nihilego is, without question, my favorite Pokemon right now.  As an Ultra Beast, it's already doing great on concept alone.  It's an alien jellyfish monster that's parasitic in nature, attaching to other living beings for sustenance, but being toxic to most things to which it attaches. It has no clear-cut consciousness, being more reactive than anything, though apparently acts much like a young girl, for whatever that means.  It's an adorable Pokemon, too, and carries the incredibly unique Rock/Poison typing, technically being the first-ever Poison legend, if you count UBs are legends.  It's an unbelievably cool, creepy, and adorable Pokemon, and I love everything about it. I just wish it had gotten a signature move or something that made it seem more alien.  All its moves are standard, despite it having an atypical typing and bizarre stat spread.  Maybe some day they'll introduce new, unique moves for each UB, but somehow I doubt it.  Pokemon Company is really bad at changing things that need to be changed retroactively.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Incineroar - Starting out, it's the final stage evolution almost no one wanted, Incineroar.  While not inherently bad, and at least avoiding the Fire/Fighting curse, Incineroar's main problem is as a final stage to Litten.  Litten is cute and wonderful.  Litten is also a cat.  A species that, for some reason, is consistently awful in battle in this series.  Incineroar should've been an exception.  Should have.  Instead, it's a wrestler in a cat suit, losing the charm of a cute cat, and somehow is still not all that good competitively.  Intimidate will help it, but it's lacking in the ability to really impress with anything it does.  Combined with the rampant disappointment over a cute starter becoming a weird, tough heel wrestler, I think it definitely earns a spot here.

9) Toucannon - However what's more upsetting to me is what happened to my dear Pikipek!  Toucannon is fine on its own.  You want a toucan?  Great, go for it.  But don't make my precious woodpecker child your angry toucan that's slow as hell and has no benefit from Skill Link.  Pikipek should have been a final form that perfected the Cinccino strategy.  Instead, we get...whatever Toucannon is doing.  It's one of the greatest disappointments of this generation, and considering the complaints I had in the top 15, that's saying a lot.  However, I won't place it any lower, simply because Toucannon, on its own merits, is cool.  I like its signature move, even if it's bad.   The design is perfectly fine.  But it being attached to Pikipek as the final form is devastating, and earns it this spot, in the same way as Incineroar.

8) Togedemaru - My usual complaint about regional rodents.  Togedemaru is more battle-worthy, but that almost frustrates me more because it's just not that interesting.  It's also associated with Sophocles, which means it loses any charm it could've had by being not related to him at all.

7) Crabominable line - My long-standing bias against Fighting types.   Ice/Fighting is a unique typing, but it does little to impress me on this one.  It's slow and lumbering and kind of unimpressive in design.  I guess it's supposed to be like the abominable snowman, but...why is it a crab?  I dunno, I'm probably being petty, but I don't like it.

6) Bruxish - Imagine being a person whose favorite type is Psychic type.   Imagine seeing all these really cute Pokemon being revealed, and building up your team, and just waiting for the Psychic type that will blow your mind.  Now imagine the first psychic type they reveal is Bruxish.  This weirdly colored fish with odd lips and and teeth.  I immediately decided to use the next revealed Psychic if I could, because this wasn't getting on the team.

5) Oranguru - Oops, and here's the next.  It's a monkey!  You love those, right Steve?  Oh wait, I hate them.  Oranguru does nothing for me, but frustrated me more than Bruxish because somehow, after the first Psychic wasn't interesting, the second was somehow worse.  It should not have been like this.

4) Passimian - But what do I dislike more than inelegant Psychic types? Fighting types.  Passimian is a sport-themed monkey that is also a fighting type. Honestly, we should be stunned it's not #1, but if there's anything I dislike more than something completely opposed to what I like, it's something that changes what I enjoy into something I hate.

3) Ultra-Necrozma - In the same way Lando-T counts as its own thing because of differences between forms, Ultra Necrozma counts as its own separate entity that is terrible.  I debated Zeraora, because I already don't like it, but that seemed unfair (and also would not rank this high).  I debated putting this above a few things at least, but I feel like it deserves this spot.  Because it sucks. Psychic/Dragon legend.   You all wanted to complain about Solgaleo/Lunala being Psychic-type, and I agreed because yeah, that is a common legend typing and variety is nice, but how did this thing get away with both Psychic and Dragon but no one else is complaining?  That's literally the two most common legend typings at the same time!  It's because it's Dragon and you all love Dragons, isn't it?  Hypocrites.  The ability is really only good in specific situations, requiring super-effective coverage to truly shine, which means there's probably plenty that can wall it based on coverage gaps or 4 move slot syndrome.  It's also one point of speed away from matching things like Mewtwo, meaning it's going to be easily outpaced by certain threats and annihilated.  Its signature Z-move also does absolutely nothing interesting beyond high damage, reminding us all how worthless that mechanic was in the grand scheme.  Oh but, don't worry, in the game it'll be way higher than your average party level by this point in the game, get +1 to all stats, and have stupid good coverage options that allows it to OHKO everything you have all the time, unless you abuse Rotom Powers, so if you don't like that mechanic, too bad, get used to them, fucker.  And this isn't even truly tearing into the design.  From a weird alien monster, to a cool form where its armor has fused with the box legends to control them, and finally...glowy dragon. Riveting.  And to cap it off, its role in USUM is fairly meaningless, and it takes away focus from the far more interesting situations with Lillie's family, and instead brings all attention to "LOOK AT THIS COOL DRAGON!" that is not really that cool at all.  Without the focus on the characters that made SuMo work, you can basically say that USUM being bad was largely this thing's fault, because it's the kind of monster that's all flash and no substance.

2) Bewear line - UGH.  Okay, red pandas are adorable.  So the Pokemon based on an adorable thing should be adorable, right?  It is not.  It is horrific, and it's based on a "mascot" that wears a suit.  It's dead stare, obscene strength where it's noted to be able to snap people in half from hugs, and generally unsettling nature and just...awful.  I really don't like it.  Stufful is at least a little cuter, but the weird tag sticking out of its butt is a constant reminder that this is a creature which should not be.  But wait!  This is only #2!  What could possibly be worse than something that is a crime against nature?

1) Shiinotic - The complete and utter ruination of a Pokemon I could not have been more excited for.  Morelull is such a cute and precious creature, and it evolved into this horrific nightmare alien baby in a literal diaper.  Why would you take such an adorable and lovely creature, and turn it into this?  I have never felt such visceral hatred for a final form of an evolutionary line in all my life.  Morelull should've been beautiful.  And if we hadn't shifted to mega evolutions and Z-moves and all this, maybe I could've hoped one day for a Gen 4 scenario that offered different evolution paths or further evolution.   At least then it could've been a Golbat situation, or a Glalie.  But instead, this is it, probably forever. Morelull will only ever be this freak-ass alien baby in a literal diaper, and will never realize the beautiful potential it had.  Tragic.

[crystalelemental]

I've gone on record stating that Gen 3 is not my favorite, and I stand by that.  I think Team Aqua/Magma had a lot to do with that, being far less interesting than they should have been.  As much as we mock IGN for it, the fact that the latter third of the game is a bunch of surf routes with the same Pokemon over and over is also frustrating.   Also, since I'm in the middle of playing the remakes of ORAS, I find it really frustrating the things that they changed, with my biggest gripe being that I wish my rival would go away forever.  That said, the Pokedex itself has always been something I appreciated.  A lot of my favorites came from Gen 3, so I tended to remember the Pokemon in the region fondly, even if the region wasn't my favorite.

TOP 15: 15) Mightyena line - There was so much competition for this slot, it's ridiculous. Ultimately though, I have to give it to Mightyena and its pre-evolution, Poochyena.  Both have great designs, but the thing that stood out to me most was that, in the early game, we were given a Dark type.  That's really atypical! Usually you go through the normal types, the Flying types, and the bugs, until after the first gym.  But Gen 3? You got things like Mightyena right away; it wasn't even rare!   Combined with things like Seedot/Lotad and Ralts, you had some interesting types going into the first gym.  Mightyena is a great starting point for introducing how unique Gen 3 and its Pokedex are, and I think it stands out a lot because of it.

14) Nosepass - Imagine being a kid who had faced Brock back in gen 1.   Imagine again that you started with Red and Blue, and didn't pick Charmander. Odds are, you blasted through him without a second thought.  Literally no issue. Now, imagine going to Roxanne, blasting through her Geodude like they're nothing, and then encountering Nosepass, who can tank those Grass and Water hits just fine, and hits pretty hard for early game.  Nosepass is awesome.  It's a fantastic tank, who can take all sorts of hits in that early game.  While it doesn't hit particularly hard later on, its main draw is as a wall among walls, with great support options.  The concept of basically being a walking easter island head statue is also comical.  It looks funny, but it's adorable too, making for a fantastic overall Pokemon.

13) Absol - This is a Pokemon that gets a lot of favoritism based on aesthetics. It's a sleek and pretty Pokemon, but also has a great role.  It tells of impending disasters, and is a fun but short-lived character in Red Rescue Team as well.  I really like Absol, and just wish it could be a bit faster so it could have a solid competitive niche.

12) Aggron line - We've had big bipedal rock monsters before, like Rhydon and Tyranitar.  But Aggron is just a different kind of cool.  Its sleek metal plating and terrifying design are fantastic.  The fact that it starts out as the cute little Aron only helps add to its charms.  Best of all, you get it super early game.  Rhydon was surprisingly late-game, and Tyranitar was literally only attainable when you had nothing left to do.  But Aggron? You can run one the whole game.  I love the ability to do that.

11) Metagross - YEAH!  Metagross is a beast, and a strong contender for my favorite pseudo-legend.  It's literally a walking tank, with the glorious Steel/Psychic typing.  It had one of the few Steel moves in the game that was actually useful, and back before the nerf, Steel covered all of Psychic type's weaknesses, making it a defensive and offensive nightmare.  I love the entire concept behind this behemoth, too.  It's a walking robot monster, whose evolution is basically just it gaining more legs until it becomes Omega Weapon. 

10) Breloom - I'll get to a similar case later, but Breloom is a favorite based on typing.  Grass/Fighting was unreal at the time, and it did super well for itself. Plus it's just cute.  A tiny little punching mushroom child, with stubby little arms that apparently shoot out to hit really hard.  It's a quirky concept with a fun design, and I adore it. Plus, Spore with the abilities it would later get made it a surprisingly brutal enemy to face.

9) Roselia - IT'S SO PRETTY!  Such a gorgeous Pokemon.  Grass/Poison was pretty overdone, even at this point, but I just loved the appearance of it.

8) Swampert line - Dual-type starters, at this point, were still relatively rare. Venusaur had Grass/Poison, but so did every Grass type in gen 1 barring Tangela.  Charizard had Fire/Flying, but the fact it wasn't Dragon is stupid.  Gen 3 introduced new dual-types for starters, and one great one is Water/Ground with Swampert.  While the combination had been done before with Quagsire, Swampert offered far better overall bulk and damage output, on top of its excellent typing.  It's also goofy-looking, but in a really charming way.  It's just so loveable, and every evolution retains that cute look.

7) Flygon - Flygon is just cute to me.  It looks like such a friend.   Being a Pokemon that exists in the sandstorm-focused desert area was also cool.  I really liked that there was an entire region dedicated just to the new weather effect.  Shame that Sandstorm was such a pain in the ass, but it's a really cool area!

6) Altaria - Altaria is so pretty.  Just a fluffy cotton ball bird...dragon.  It's apparently more of a songbird, too, which is just heavenly.  It also got a great mega evolution, receiving Dragon/Fairy typing, which is hilarious and excellent.

5) Latias - I'm guessing this run of Dragons is proving I really like the soft, friendly dragons over the big intimidating ones that actually do well, huh? Dragon/Psychic was, at this point, the coolest typing I had ever heard of.  But what's cooler than that?  How about a super adorable Dragon/Psychic type.  Oh, what's this?  It gets a hold item that boosts special attack and special defense 50%?  That's ridiculous, I love it. Latias is the more defensive option of the two, which I always felt was better if you factor in hold item.  The added defensive bulk is going to matter more than slightly more physical offense from their perspective.  Of course, Latios having much better special attack is ultimately better in competitive, but Latias still has her use, and is super cute.

4) Blaziken line - Remember when Fire/Fighting was a novel type?  Remember when its introduction was a kick-boxing chicken creature?  Those were the days. Torchic is one of the cutest starters, and its final evolution is surprisingly still an elegant design.  It was such a cool idea, and I love that Hidden Abilities brought it back to the top.

3) Mawile - It's such a cute little creature.  Cute and terrifying, and excellent combination for sure.  It's a shame that Mawile ultimately was a forgettable Steel type in terms of competitive use, but the acquisition of Fairy type and the best mega really helped it out on that front, too.  So I guess it's basically perfect? Sounds about right.

2) Milotic - I never caught one in gen 3.  Not fairly, anyway.  I could never figure out how to get Feebas to show up.  In fact, I don't think I've ever captured a Feebas.  I've always traded for it.  It's just so hard to find.  But man, is the final form ever beautiful.  It's such a gorgeous Pokemon, and an excellent tank to boot.  Everything about Milotic is wonderful.

1) Gardevoir line - Don't you judge me.  We all knew this would happen.  If you read anything in this post or the ones before it, you know elegant and cute are the biggest draws for me.  Gardevoir is both. It's also a Psychic type, so bonus points there.  Also, as mentioned in the Mightyena entry, it's super early-game. Rare, sure, but you can have a Psychic type from nearly the very start of the game.  I love Gardevoir so much, it's definitely an all-time favorite, and it should come as no surprise that it winds up being the favorite from this generation.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Pelipper - I like Pelipper.  Its reason for being here is that so many Gen 3 Pokemon are great, it just doesn't stand out as much as the others.  I have literally no complaints, I just locked myself into "it has to be 10" and here we are.

9) Huntail - Same as above, it just doesn't hold as much aesthetic appeal.

8) Seviper - If there's anything I actually dislike here, it's just that it's pure-Poison type.  We had a Poison snake already.  I would've liked to see a different typing added in.  Poison/Dark at this phase of the game would've been amazing.

7) Zangoose - Still good, but it loses points based on my frustrations with Pokemon Coliseum.

6) Glalie - Getting closer to legitimate frustrations, Glalie is here because its design doesn't captivate.  Snorunt is cute, but it evolves into an angry face in a block of ice.  Not exactly all that interesting.

5) Volbeat - Did nothing legitimately wrong, but I am upset that Volbeat gets a lot of nice and unique tools that Illumise does not.  I like Illumise.  I think its color scheme is a lot better.  But Volbeat gets the nice tools, so whatever I guess.

4) Ninjask - Please stop speed boosting, I am begging you.  You do nothing else but Swords Dance, Speed Boost and Baton Pass, please do something else.

3) Slaking - Okay, actual legitimate complaints.  Slaking's problem is it goes backwards.  Vigoroth was a nightmare to face, and I have a friend who stated that facing Norman's was the reason he started to respect Normal types as something other than early-game fodder.  But Slaking?   It re-acquires Truant, which is an awful ability by any standard, and requires very specific team support, on Doubles only, to mitigate.   Anyone who sees Slaking knows exactly what will happen, and is probably more than prepared to shut it down.  It's a nice design, and a nice concept, but it's been so ruined by the ability it is burdened with that it's virtually unusable.

2) Plusle/Minun - Possibly less legitimate complaint, but I feel more strongly about it. Plusle and Minun are cute and have solid designs, but their great sin is being Pikachu clones for the new area, kicking off the trend of needing an electric rodent in every area.  Worse, they do not evolve, offer little in the way of any competitive value, and existed to show off the introduction to Double Battles with their unique abilities and access to Helping Hand.  Beyond this, they offer very little, and are the reason we have to always have a new electric rodent that ultimately winds up having no competitive niche.

1) Grumpig - Literally the only one on this list I dislike.  Spoink is cute, and Grumpig is...not.  It just looks irritable and not all that friendly by comparison.  It's also nothing too impressive competitively, and offers little in the way of uniqueness, losing the quirk of constantly bouncing around like Spoink did to...just be grumpy.  It's a Pokemon I might like more on its own, but as an evolution of Spoink it doesn't seem as interesting.