#you all aren't prepared

[kenziedrawz]

' Last dance among the brightest star' + Fic preview snippet under the cut.

[MENTIONS OF DRINKING + DRUGS BUT NEITHER ACTUALLY HAPPENS]

Torpe sways as the leader of the orchestra leads him in their dance together, and when the pianist felt his body tip back he found himself going limp. The tiredness that had seeped into his body making his limbs dangle like that of a rag doll. Why had he been so tired today? It wasn't like he'd gotten drugged or anything, and he surely wasn't hungover as yesterday he spent the entire day practicing with Dancho for their performance today.

He was lucky that this tiredness didn't affect his playing, if it had then that would have caused disaster for the entire orchestra. If he caused them to be humiliated on the Fénix family's stage of all places then he'd never forgive himself. he'd have to change his name and flee the city and never touch a piano again.

His attention snaps back to Dancho, who'd stopped humming the tune that they'd been swaying along to. There's a soft glimmer in the taller man's golden eyes as he smiles down at the pianist. Such a sight would usually make Torpe a bit flustered, but what the Orchestra Leader said next caught him off guard.

" Happy Birthday, Tsukasa-kun." He'd said, there was a longing in Dancho's eyes as he said those words. But the more Torpe stared at those golden windows to the soul the more he noticed the hints of grief in Dancho's expression, it had even been in his tone.

The pianist could only ponder, who was the 'Tsukasa' that Dancho spoke of? The name felt familiar, and was it just a coincidence that this character's birthday seemed to line up with Torpe's own? He'd forgotten it was even his birthday today, but it wasn't like he'd told anyone.

" ...Dancho, who is... Tsukasa?" The meek pianist asked, curiosity leaking into his tone like water gushing into a small hole on a boat. The orchestra leader's expression faltered, becoming sad for a moment before the purple haired man wiped it away with a saddened smile.

" Ah, my apologies Torpe-kun. Just an old friend of mine." Dancho hummed, setting Torpe's tired body on the stable ground once more as they continued their slow dance together. " You look a lot like him, so I was confused for a moment."

The longer Torpe stared into Dancho's eyes, the more he knew that the taller was hiding something from him. But What? Who was Tsukasa? And what had happened to him?

[kazutora-kurokawa]

Screaming, crying, sobbing real tears because I'm up way too early and I'm tired asf 😭 today is officially my first day of college and I'm practically shitting bricks rn lmao 🫠

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[joeypottrs]

need to get this buddie first kiss scenario out of my head before season 8 starts bc my god i can't write fanfic for shit but i need this somewhere other than my brain bc it's been there for weeks.

so, some sort of heart-to-heart at eddie's preludes it, not explicit/obvious feeling confessions from either, but the air of the scene makes you know they know something has shifted for both of them.

buck leaves and a song kicks in. we follow him as he heads home, to his car, in the car driving to the end of the street, all while intercuts of big buddie moments flash through (near-death experiences, like the well, lightning and more heart-to-hearts and family moments etc. - all the key stuff). as this is happening we see buck change his mind about leaving, he u-turns and heads back (flashbacks still happening), we get to him running up to and knocking on the front door (big climatic build of the song is almost at the peak), eddie is already at the door, about to go after buck - the surge of the music mirrors the surge of buck going forward inside to sweep eddie up into a big passionate first kiss (maybe we have that impulsive first kiss *pause* then bigger decisive second kiss situation) one of them does the classic front door slam to the camera and audience, cut to black and credits...

the song playing... i'm in between francesca by hozier and i know the end by phoebe bridgers which has such a climatic feel (and a lightning mention) so it could work but basically any song with a good build and climax, yknow the kind, anyway that's all!

[thedisablednaturalist]

Banning LGBTQ+ content and people from the public view kills children

Refusing to teach comprehensive sex education kills children

Refusing to put limits on firearms/assault weapons kills children

Defunding social safety nets kills children

Homeschooling with no oversight kills children

Punishing staying home when sick kills children

Not masking in public kills children

Sweatshops and exploitative farming kills children

Lack of universal healthcare kills children

Banning the use of puberty blockers kills children

Forced birth kills children

Crumbling infrastructure especially in underfunded schools due to income tax cuts for the wealthy kills children

Environmental racism, climate change, and pollution kill children

Antivaxxers kill children

War kills children

Displacement kills children

Homelessness kills children

Genital mutilation of intersex babies kills children

Nuclear weapons kill children

Genocide kills children

Industrial deregulation kills children

Naturalization/assimilation kills children

Denial of amnesty kills children

Separation from family kills children

Antisemitism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia and racism kills children

Why do you only care about kids when they aren't born yet?

I know, it's because you'd rather your kid be dead than possibly go against your personal beliefs.

I know, because only certain groups of kids are dying

[bananasfosterparent]

[lotrmusical]

Like the rainbow after the rain joy will reveal itself after sorrow

'send me lines of poetry' ask game was a HORRIBLE MISTAKE because sometimes your EVIL FRIENDS will use it as an excuse to TORMENT YOU. watching these asks arrive one by one and trying to figure out how i was going to reply sincerely took literal years off my life. this is my elijah wood wigs interview moment. thanks @ultravioletness

[spumonibones]

Oof, I feel like I've been spamming posts this week, I'm so sorry. But! Wanted to talk about a few things...?

One, I'm trying to simplify finding things for anyone that stumbles upon this Tumblr. So, apologies in advance that I'll probably keep posting things as I organize it all.

Two, if any readers of, "Feathered Vengeance," happen to see this, I haven't forgotten about it! I've just been unhappy with each third chapter I've tried writing.

Three, I know I don't usually reply to comments. Most of my energy goes to trying to leave comments on art and fics - the anxiety takes me out before I can get the courage to reply to people. But I absolutely read every single one of them, and they bring me *so much* joy. But more than that? It helps me with writing.

I've noted every single comment has, in some way, speculated when Xiao figures out Venti is Barbatos. Honestly, while writing this, that hadn't been the focus of the story so... It usually got brushed off. But this is important to the readers, and so naturally, that means it's something I'm putting thought into how it'll happen. And I really hope readers approve that how... In 15 chapters.

Cripes, I really need to finish "Chasing Wings," so it can shift to a bi-weekly update schedule... 15 chapters is like, 3.5 months 😭 I'm trying...!!!

[videoaux-a]

post MORE angst

what did you say

[transingthoseformers]

Just imagine the scheduled DJD orgy, all paperwork filled out in triplicate, and it's basically just the mini-bots fucking one of the bigger bots and then moving to the next because it's time to serve The Cause by making more loyal soldiers! And each sparkling would have three sires.

Sparklings if you go the 'bigger carrier with smaller sire means multiple sparklings'

I um😳

Yes

Please🥺

I love how they way fully planned it with the paperwork, because that's just amazing like they know exactly what's in store and everyone in this situation deserves all the enthusiasm

Also that's exactly one of the benefits of a larger carrier and a smaller sire! The carrier can fit more sparklings, provide more resources to the sparklings, protect them better, and have an easier emergence! Plus the three sires thing would mix up the genetics in a really fun way.

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Yeah so, my Kinkuary plans didn't pan out unfortunately. I'm really sad about it because I was looking forward to getting them all done but, between irl responsibilities and slowly trying to remember how to be a person, I couldn't make it work.

[bleachbleachbleach]

me: i have a whole list of esoteric bleach posts I wanna make! i should start on those

also me: what if completely ignore folder of ideas and instead

13̛͖̭ͯͥ̂ͣ w̹̩͎͛a̺ͥ̄yͯ͢s̒ o͂f̣̩̘̮ͫ̊ l̳oͪo̦̠̽ki̊͆̄n̛̥͔̘̹ͧg̒ aͪ̈ͯͤ͜t̲̪̻ ą̘͉͂ͫ̉ l̚i͕͍ͅeut̷eͤ͐n̈́ͯͅan̢ͧ̑̇ẗ̳́ͥ͟'̬͍̊ͧs̊̂ e͓x̙͑a͖̫͑ͫͫm͎͕̗̉̀

[the12seeds]

The 12 seeds is a collaborative storytelling ask game being run by one person to sprout seeds in writeblr inboxes.

The story is small-scope, and will only directly involve a few writeblrs for the sake of feasibility.

Anyone interested in doing this for their own writeblr (or other blr) niche is welcome to recreate it.

Asks will be sent out about once a week.

[prettyblondguys]

😣

[apollumihelios]

as a second generation immigrant, it's weird and a little frustrating to try and create a world inspired by my culture when i feel so disconnected from it in the first place. it feels like something is missing from my life and I don't think any amount of research and studying will fill that void. but im trying. everything I am revolves around this world I've created and it's been a good start for me to reconnect with my greek roots after being denied it for so long.

I've been writing on and off for years, but only properly began this endeavour about four years ago when I was really questioning my life. to cope with everything I began making maps of a simple fantasy world, and creating small towns with insignificant lore in minecraft. but I became bored of creating standard medieval stories, I longed to see my culture within a genre I loved so much.

ultimately what pushed me to commit to writing was the lack of greek characters that were actually greek and well written, and not just used as a joke or to push a personal agenda (see literally every 'retelling' made by non-greeks).. not to mention if anything greek happened to be in fantasy media, it's either an extinct culture with the classical aesthetic or the focus is only on bastardizing the olympians. that's all we're seen as; a dead culture whose only value comes from the gods. and that's just not true.

I wanted a world where the focus was on the people and their way of life, rather than the gods and epic wars. I wanted stories about families, friends, and lovers who didn't have any divine power at their behest. I wanted to read about the intimacy of the mundane, the beauty of being, and the tragedy of trying. I wanted to see my culture represented in a way that wasn't through the western eyes -- which even I have been tricked by. I want greek stories told by greek people.

I don't know if my work will be any good, or worth anything to anyone. maybe I'll get scared and none of it will see the daylight. I know this won't bring me any closer to understanding what I've missed out on, but being able to learn and create something is enough for me.

[bixiaoshi]