#yoonmi.lyher

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕦𝕥❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi and jungkook surprise the members with some news

⇢ set in late march of 2018

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ hints at events from “peak” and “turbulence” plus fighting

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. feedback is highly appreciated!

“Something’s up with you, Mimi.”

Yoonmi did her best to shove Jungkook off of her when he dropped himself on the couch.

“You know,” she began while managing to get all his weight from on top of her to next to her, “I go to this reading nook to chill. Just because you know I hang out here doesn’t mean you can randomly attack me in my reading time. Thank you, halmeoni!”

Yoonmi thanked the shop owner for the spare blanket she was handed. She had managed to get away from the preparation of their Japanese release for the first time since the announcement that they were staying together. Well, more like Namjoon practically shoved her out of the studio because she practically threw herself into work after finding out they’d all stick together for at least a little while longer. As usual, she didn’t tell anyone where she’d go off to relax, but Jungkook knew exactly where to find her.

“You seem a lot happier,” Jungkook noted while tilting the book she was reading so he could see her face. “Like, yeah, you were already pretty happy, but it’s like there’s something more now.”

“I’m trying to read here.” She lightly smacked the top of his head with her book. She laughed at him when he did the same to her but with his hand. “You know I’m excited because Daehwi and I are planning to hang out in Japan between schedules.”

True enough, Yoonmi did spend the previous night talking to her friend and plotting out their itinerary for their free days. They even spent a short while trying to convince Somi to come, but she was busy with a variety show that she was filming. Of course Jungkook knew of her plans. He was even going to tag along just so they had some sort of legal guardian with them. (Or so he says, but Yoonmi knew he just wanted to come and see the drum show, too.)

“No, there’s something else.”

Yoonmi had to lean back when Jungkook tried to examine her face up close. She furrowed her brows at him and pushed him away by the forehead. That was when Jungkook tilted his head and smirked.

“You and Minhyung are official now, aren’t you?”

Her eyes widened as she straightened. She looked around the small reading nook before turning back to her best friend. “How did you know?”

“I was right? Woah, I just guessed.”

She groaned and slumped into the couch. “Was it that obvious?”

“Well, something was different.”

The way her best friend’s face fell, even if it was subtle, felt a little off to her. She looked at him worriedly. “Do you not like that?”

A grin took over his face when he turned towards her and bumped their shoulders. “I knew it would happen eventually. Why didn’t you tell me, though?”

“We made a bet about who could keep it secret longer,” she laughed before playfully glaring at him, “and you just made me lose.”

“You can’t hide stuff from me,” Jungkook snorted. He threw an arm around her and pulled her into a noogie. The frustrated huff she let out made him laugh. “You’re gonna have a little bit of fun telling the hyungs, huh?”

“Don’t remind me,” she pouted while trying to stop him from messing her hair up any further. “Now that I told you, I can tell everyone else later during dinner.”

“I got your back, Mimi.”

She smiled at him. Having Jungkook help her break the news to the older members would lighten the load and probably make it less shocking. She just has to figure out how to somehow steer the conversation in the right direction.

Dinner was as normal as it could get in the dorm.

She and Jungkook came home to find the older members had ordered Chinese food for dinner. Namjoon’s smile was the first thing that greeted her. His warm hand lightly patted the top of her head while she removed her coat.

“Did you have a nice time?”

“I did until this giant bunny decided to bury me under his body weight.” She jabbed Jungkook’s side with her thumb, making him yelp. He gave her a look and kicked his shoes off.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

Yoonmi squeaked and ran past Namjoon and into the dorm as Jungkook began to chase her. She yelled a “hi” as she weaved between her members while she tried to avoid the 97 liner chasing her. She got herself into Yoongi and Seokjin’s room where the two eldest members were sitting by Yoongi’s desk talking about something. She hid behind Seokjin with a laugh.

“Ggukoo oppa’s trying to kill me!”

“I’m just trying to bury you under my body weight, Mimi.”

Jungkook lunged forward, making Seokjin instinctively step away. Next thing Yoonmi knows, she’s picked up from the ground and thrown onto Yoongi’s bed. Her squeals turn into laughter when Jungkook starts tickling her.

All the noise drew the rest of the members into the room. Only the sounds of her and Jungkook’s laughter filled the dorm while the older members watched them fondly. Jimin pulled out his phone and took a video for a few seconds before posting it on twitter.

“Oppa, stop,” she gasped out in between giggles, “I can’t breathe.”

“Indirectly call me heavy again, Mimi, and not even your boyfriend will be able to help you.” Jungkook took one of Yoongi’s pillows and plopped it on Yoonmi’s stomach before resting his head on it.

The two maknaes let out a few little laughs while they tried to catch their breath. It took a few seconds before both of them realized the slip of Jungkook’s tongue. After an exchange of wide-eyed looks, the two scrambled to sit up. Yoonmi nervously looked at her members.

“Uh, surprise?” Her voice came out as a question while her shoulders moved up into a shrug.

“You have a boyfriend?” Hoseok asked, jaw dropped in shock.

“Yes?”

“You’re dating Haechan!” Taehyung cheered.

“What?” She didn’t know how Taehyung came to that conclusion.

“She’s dating Lee Marky,” Jungkook laughed while poking Yoonmi’s cheek.

Taehyung looked at her in question. “I thought Haechan confessed to you like a few months ago?”

“Well, we talked about it and,” she paused and looked at Taehyung. She never told anyone because she and Haechan didn’t see the need to really tell everyone else when nothing changed between them. “How do you know that?”

“No offense, princess,” Namjoon cut in, “but Taehyung and I could hear you two pretty clearly. The artist lounge isn’t exactly the most secret of places, especially since we use the bathroom there.”

She facepalmed. “Well, no. Oppa and I are still practically best friends. I’m dating Mark oppa.”

“Excuse me while I make a phone call,” Seokjin excused himself. “Let me borrow your phone for a bit, princess.”

She laughed and handed him her phone. The way Hoseok and Taehyung went to go watch Seokjin practically lecture her boyfriend was amusing.

“I’m gonna go make sure he doesn’t get carried away.” Namjoon hastily followed the three boys out the room.

“You’re growing up,” Jimin pinched her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “My aegi’s got a boyfriend! Let me go look for those brownies you baked the other day so we can celebrate. Come on, Kookie.”

Jungkook’s whines faded away as Jimin pulled him to the kitchen. Yoonmi turned to the member who had yet to say anything. The member whose opinion she arguably cared most about. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth while she looked at his expressionless face. Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“Oppa?”

“So,” Yoongi trailed off, “you have a boyfriend, huh?”

“I do,” she nodded. “It’s been a little over a month since we made it official, but you know he’s been courting me in a way for the past year.”

The silence between them was thick. Yoonmi didn’t like it. It felt like the slightest hint of tension that used to be there due to the previous months suddenly grew once again and came to drown her.

“You don’t like it.” Her face dropped upon her realization. “You don’t like that I have a boyfriend.”

“No, I don’t.” The thoughtlessness in his tone made her feel worse.

This didn’t make sense. Yoongi had always been the first to tell her that taking risks is okay. He always told her that letting people in would be just fine because not everyone was like her biological parents. Yet, here he was just denying it all the moment she took his advice.

“Why?” She felt like she couldn’t say more. Any sentence longer than that felt like it would make her choke.

“Why?” He sounded annoyed when he echoed her question. “Yoonmi, you spent three months angry at us because you thought we were putting you behind us, and you’re asking me why I don’t like the fact that you got a boyfriend?”

“It’s different, and you know that.”

“It’s not!” Yoongi turned away from her. “You’ll be spending more and more time with your boyfriend, until you eventually forget about us. Your family. The people who raised you. You’re gonna leave us the same way you were scared of us leaving you. It’s hypocritical, don’t you think?”

That struck a nerve with her. She curled her fists into balls and took a deep breath, not wanting to shout and alert the other members. Instead, she stood from the bed and moved closer to Yoongi. The elder crossed his arms and stared Yoonmi down, not backing away. But Yoonmi did the same, which was new to him.

“If you even think that after all I’ve been through I’d leave for something like this,” she poked him hard in the chest, “leave the people I’ve called home for years just because I have a boyfriend, then I guess all those years of you “raising” me went to waste. If that’s what you think of me, then you don’t know me.”

She stepped back and turned away from him. She walked straight towards her and Jungkook’s room.

Jungkook and Jimin exchanged looks when they saw Yoonmi angrily exit the two eldest members’ room.

“I’ll go check on Yoongi hyung,” Jimin instructed the younger, “you go check on Yoonmi.”

Jungkook nodded and raced towards their room. He opened the door and found Yoonmi sitting on the edge of her bed, staring blankly into the wall while some tears rolled down her face. Jungkook pulled his computer chair over and sat in front of her, wiping her tears away while at it.

“Hey,” he cautiously prodded at her, “what’s wrong?”

“I guess Min Yoongi doesn’t give a fuck about me.”

Oh god. Yoonmi used Yoongi’s full name, and a swear. Despite her use of English, Jungkook got the context.

He gently pulled her into his lap and wrapped the silent girl in a hug. She wasn’t sobbing or anything. Not a single sound. Not like when she got mad at them previously. All Jungkook could hear from her was silence. Jungkook pursed his lips. This was bad.

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕚’𝕞 𝕕𝕠𝕟𝕖❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ where yoonmi thought she could finally have a good day after months of constant worry

⇢ set in mid april of 2018

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ fighting, signs of anxiety, mentions of trauma

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. feedback is highly appreciated!

Japan was a really good distraction for Yoonmi.

She was focused on their promotional activities and spent some one on one time with most of the other members. Throwing herself into practice felt like a normal thing once again as they were about to have their Japanese fanmeeting. Luckily, as she planned with Namjoon and their managers, she had a day off where she got to roam around Japan and even watch a drum performance with Jungkook and Daehwi since the latter just finished his KCon schedule.

“I can’t believe Linnie didn’t want to go with us,” she laughed while she sent some of the photos that she took over to Daehwi’s phone.

The LA-raised boy scoffed at that. “Please, that giant’s knocked out right now. I’m surprised Jihoon hyung didn’t come with us. He has the biggest crush on you.”

“Or on V hyung,” Jungkook snorted. “I’ve seen your interviews. That kid lights up at the mention of our dear Taehyungie hyung.”

The three idols all burst into a fit of laughter, their two managers chuckling along with them from the front of the car. They continued recounting their day in excitement while they drove back to Daehwi’s hotel. Much to their dismay, they arrived there just as they finished sending their photos among each other.

The 01s gave each other tight hugs, and Jungkook ruffled the younger boys hair as he stepped out of the car with his manager.

“We have to go out with Somi next time,” Daehwi waved, “and you’ve got to spill about your boy.”

“Some other time,” she laughed before waving as well while Jungkook closed the car door.

The two best friends decided to sit facing each other, legs crossed and hidden under a large blanket manager Sejin always kept in the car for her. Yoonmi was ultimately in a good mood, giggles escaping her lips even if she had nothing to laugh about.

It was this feeling that she missed. Just being carefree, with nothing nagging at the back of her mind. It’s been months since she felt this way. In all honesty, the only thing that got her scared was the drum festival they watched earlier that day.

“The drum festival performances were beautiful, weren’t they?” She asked once they were making their way to their suite. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get the thrill of the performance out of her. It was as if she could still feel the vibrations that the druns made throughout the air with the power they held.

“You were so scared,” Jungkook teased her.

“You know I don’t do well with loud noises!” Her laugh contradicted her fake annoyed face. “I didn’t expect the drums to be that loud!”

A glance at the kitchen area of the suite once they entered made her stop. Yoongi was there, and he was looking at them with an unreadable look. She thought he was going to ignore her again, but he spoke.

“Out again today, huh?”

She and Jungkook exchanged a look. Her best friend tried to get her to shrug it off and walk into their shared room, but Yoonmi stood her ground.

“I didn’t think you’d notice.” Her voice was monotonous. She could feel the look Jungkook was giving her, but she needed to stay. Especially since the first time Yoongi actually acknowledged her was accusatory.

The elder placed his cup on the counter and sighed. “I called it. You’re already distancing yourself.”

That got even Jungkook shocked. “Hyung, she was with me the whole day.”

“Not just today. The past two weeks.”

“If you actually didn’t pretend I was non-existent for once,” she narrowed her eyes at the elder, throat clamping up, “then maybe you would have noticed I was trying to catch up with each of the others one on one.”

“You wouldn’t have to do that if you just weren’t childish, anyway.” Yoongi’s nonchalant voice as he walked away felt like a slap to the face. She could feel her chest tightening and the tears forming.

Two weeks. It took two weeks for Yoongi to talk to her again, but there he was, speaking like he didn’t have a care in the world about her or what she felt. She felt her knees slacken a little and went down. Jungkook was quick to follow her.

“This isn’t fair.”

“Yoonmi—“

“No!” The young girl stopped Jungkook from speaking and clutched her chest, banging on it with her fist. “I can’t fucking breathe, Min Yoongi! While you’re there going about your day and ignoring me like nothing’s wrong, I feel like I’m being stabbed straight through the heart by the person who I thought would be on my side all the time.”

She was down on her knees, body curled into a ball as if physically in pain from everything she felt through her emotions. The feeling of Yoongi’s eyes on her made her feel vulnerable, but it was different. This time, she was uncomfortable. The same person she usually looked for when she felt vulnerable to seek comfort was the same person making her feel uncomfortably vulnerable right then and there. She could feel herself grip onto Jungkook’s arm that had settled around her waist, though she wasn’t sure if it was to keep her grounded or to stop her from getting too frustrated.

“You spent days acting like I was nothing to you,” she gasped out. While swallowing the lump in her throat, she sat up and looked him right in the eye. “You know what? I’m done.”

Yoongi looked at her in question. “Yoonmi...”

“I’m done! If you don’t want me in your life anymore, then I’ll ignore you, too.”

“Yoonmi.“

“Is my name all you can say?” She glared at him. She pushed herself up to stand. “I just poured my whole heart out to you!”

She was met with silence. The sight of Yoongi averting her gaze and clenching his fists made her scoff. She let Jungkook help her up and looked at the Daegu man once again.

“So I just embarrassed myself, then. You don’t care. You didn’t care. You probably never cared at all!”

“I do care!” Yoongi’s shout cut off her rant. He was staring her down, hands on her shoulders as if it would make her listen to him more clearly. “I don’t want you to leave, okay? I’m afraid of you leaving us behind like you don’t need us just as much as you’re afraid of us leaving!”

“Hyung!” Jungkook’s eyes went wide when he heard that.

Yoonmi was taken back by what Yoongi said. She choked a little. Was he undermining what she went through? Was he really just doing that?

“No,” she shook her head and backed away, “you don’t care. You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying!”

“You are!” She pushed his hands off of her and backed away even more. “You don’t care! If you cared, then you should know that I’m not the type of person to leave just because someone new came into my life! If you cared, then you wouldn’t take my childhood trauma lightly!”

Yoongi staggered back a little as if fully processing what she said. It was the first time she actually referred to it as trauma. After years, she finally said it out loud. But what did she mean taking it lightly?

“I never took it lightly!”

“I was left behind.” Her voice was shaky, and you couldn’t tell if she’d scream or cry next. “They were people I loved and believed would come back, but they left me and disowned me! You can’t fear being left behind as much as I do because it’s actually happened to me!”

Silence took over them while they let Yoonmi’s words settle in their heads. Jungkook pulled her closer to him and tried to calm her down. For the first time in years, Yoonmi had finally said out loud that she had been left behind, but at what cost? Her relationship with Yoongi? Her trust in him?

Yoongi’s eyes softened as he tried to approach her. “Hey, princess, I’m sorry.”

“No.” She escaped Jungkook’s grip and shoved past Yoongi, not even glancing back while she walked out the door and towards the suite that Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Seokjin occupied. “You went too far.”

Yoonmi left the room, vision slightly blurry, until she found herself rapidly knocking on the door of the other suite. She stood there for a minute before the door opened to Taehyung. The way the smile dropped off of his face when he saw the messy state she was in made her feel even worse. She froze a little before stepping back.

“I’m sorry,” she stuttered, “I can leave if I was interrupting something.”

“Not at all, aegi,” Taehyung quickly pulled her into his arms and towards his and Jimin’s room, shutting the door behind them. “You’re a mess. You’re coming in here right now and getting drowned in cuddles by me and Jimin.”

“Do I have to talk?”

“We can keep this a secret from the hyungs, no need to talk. You can be quiet or rant, it’s completely up to you.”

A small smile made its way onto her face as Taehyung nudged her over to Jimin’s bed. She wedged herself into the already asleep Jimin’s side and could only watch in amusement as Taehyung repeatedly poked the Busan boy to wake him. Once she found herself properly being cuddled in between the two 95 liners, she sighed.

At least there were some people she could trust to hear her out without assuming anything.

Back in her actual suite, Jungkook turned to Yoongi as soon as she shut the door behind her. “You did go too far, hyung.”

“Jungkook, you like her.” Yoongi gave Jungkook and exasperated look. “Shouldn’t you be on my side?”

“Just because I like her doesn’t mean I’m gonna turn away from or make assumptions about her!”

“Look,” Yoongi began, “I didn’t mean to invalidate her, but she is slipping away. She hasn’t been spending anytime in the dorm or in the hotel room. She barely eats with us. It’s happening.”

“If you paid close attention, you’d see that isn’t the case.” Jungkook crossed his arms and slightly glared at the elder. “She’s been spending all her time practicing because she’s been trying to distract herself from this whole situation. She’d spend a day with each member, trying to rebuild their relationship from before the whole issue. She’s even been trying to get through to you, but you’ve been pretending she doesn’t exist.”

Yoongi looked down at the words of the younger. He hadn’t noticed at all. It had seemed to him that Yoonmi would just stay out of their dorm all the time, so he assumed she had been off with her boyfriend. Well, that could still be the case. The only time he saw her going out with the members was when they arrived in Japan, miles away from her boyfriend.

“She hasn’t seen Mark since the day they became official.” Jungkook’s voice pulled the elder out of his thoughts. “They’ve kept it lowkey because that’s the type of people they are. Yeah, they message each other almost every other day, but both of them know they don’t need to be in each other’s presence all the time to know that they like each other.”

“And you’re okay with this?” Yoongi asked him.

Jungkook gave a humorless laugh. “You aren’t? Hyung, all Mimi and I have ever known each other as is best friends. I only started liking her last year. In case you haven’t noticed, those two have liked each other for at least half their friendship before mark even confessed. She likes him and she’s happy being with him. I’m happy staying by her side as her best friend because I know she won’t stop being my best friend even if she’s got a boyfriend. What about you, hyung? Can’t you just be happy for her?”

With that, Jungkook walked into his shared room with Yoonmi, leaving Yoongi to think on his words. With a sigh, Yoongi shook his head.

“I just don’t want her to grow up and realize she doesn’t need us.”

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi visits hoseok on daydream’s set, and she just wants to talk so they do something they haven’t done in a long time

⇢ set in february of 2018

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ mentions of fighting and yoonmi kinda mentions the situation from the last few months

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. feedback is highly appreciated!

Yoonmi walked onto the set cautiously. She didn’t want to disturb anyone, especially since it looked like they were starting a new take when they walked in. She also didn’t know if Hoseok wanted her there. Sure, they were all pretty much good after resolving the whole four or so months of conflict, but she wasn’t sure if Hoseok would like that Jungkook brought her along with him to the set without permission.

Jungkook tightened his hold on her hand when he felt her falling behind him.“Come on. You know Hobi hyung loves you and would be ecstatic once he realizes you’re here.”

“I don’t know…”

“Hyung!”

Yoonmi jumped at Jungkook’s sudden yell. Her eyes widened when she realized Hoseok had seen them. She nearly froze in her spot, but Jungkook tugged her forward. A shy smile reached her face when they reached the older members.

“My maknaes!” Hoseok brought the two into a hug. “When did you two get here?”

Jungkook shrugged and gravitated towards Yoongi who commented about him looking like staff. Hoseok kept his hold on her, though. She felt him rest his chin on top of her head. He was still so… welcoming. He was so warm, and the hug held absolutely no spite at all. Her eyes shut, and her fingers curled into his shirt.

“Thanks for coming, Yoon-ah.” He gently stroked her hair.

She wanted to hug him tighter, but she didn’t out of fear of annoying him. “I didn’t know if you’d want me here. I mean, I didn’t tell you in advance, and, well…”

“No, I like that you’re here.” He leaned back and squished her cheeks together. “I mean, your support means a lot, and you did help me with some of the tracks on my mixtape.”

Not knowing what to say, she just smiled and held up the drinks she was carrying. She handed one to Hoseok, keeping the other to herself.

“Oh? What’s this for?”

“It’s not much,” she looked down and shrugged, “but I want to make it up to you. I would have gotten some for Tae oppa and Yoongi oppa, but I didn’t know that they’d be here, too.”

Hoseok scrunched his eyebrows together while sipping the drink before poking her cheek. “How many times do we have to tell you that it’s fine. You don’t have to apologize for anything. It’s behind us, and we’ve all forgiven each other, haven’t we?”

Trapping her bottom lip between her teeth, she nodded. She still wasn’t fully convinced that she was off the hook yet. She wished Hoseok a good luck and offered to hold his drink for him while he filmed. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling when Hoseok pressed a light kiss to the top of her head before returning her to Jungkook’s side.

“Thanks for coming. Enjoy yourself. Look, Taehyung’s making a cameo!”

She laughed lightly, hand coming up to play with a strand of her hair. Hoseok gently pushed her hand back down to her side and patted her cheek before returning to set. She felt someone fix the bits of hair she had been messing with.

“You good?” Yoongi looked at her with slight worry.

She nodded at him. “I am, yeah. What take is this?”

“Oh, you stayed?”

Yoonmi looked up from where she was sitting and smiled at Hoseok. “Are you up for the Han river?”

“We haven’t done that in ages.” A soft smile graced his face.

When they were still trainees, Hoseok used to take Yoonmi to the Han river where he’d treat her to food, then he’d teach her how to freestyle or how to do old school hiphop dances. That’s why she was so attached to the Han river. Whenever she and Hobi went, it would remind her of when her brother used to take her to the underground scene when they were younger. After they debuted, though, they haven’t gone. There wasn’t much time for them to go off on their old shenanigans.

“Only if you’re not tired.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s been five years! Let me just grab my stuff and change my clothes before we go.”

Fifteen minutes later, they’re on a picnic blanket with Yoonmi pulling some stuff out of her backpack. There was a laptop she borrowed from the company, a large container, and a 1.5 liter bottle of cola. She wrinkled her nose a little when Hoseok opened the bottle, the smell of carbonated soda entering her nose.

Hoseok let out a little laugh and booped her nose. “Why’d you bring cola when you can barely drink it?”

“You like cola when we learn dances.”

“How about we just put on some music, eat whatever you’ve got in here, and just hang out? It’s been a long day.”

“Right,” she opened the container revealing salted caramel popcorn, “I got it. Music video filming is tiring.”

She curled her jacket up and put it on the ground creating a makeshift pillow. She heard rustling beside her before she felt something drape over her body. It was Hoseok’s coat. She turned to see him with his bag under his head the same way her jacket was under hers. The only thing blocking him from the winter-turning-spring breeze was his sweater.

“This is nice.” He turned his head towards her and gave a satisfied smile before turning back towards the sky. “It’s not our usual Han river time, but it’s relaxing. Is this the beginning of a new tradition?”

“Maybe, but I don’t think we’ll have time to go to the Han river to do this.”

“Then we can do this on the roof of the dorm. Or the company rooftop. Take your pick.”

A silence took over the two of them, Harry Styles’s voice playing in the background. She turned to look at the older. He had his eyes closed with a relaxed look on his face. As per usual, he was enjoying the music, head swaying slightly. She smiled and turned back to the sky in question.

Hoseok was the sweetest from the very beginning. He’s the one who never got upset with her, not even once. Ever since she first came to the company in the last quarter of 2010, Hoseok was the one who was always patient with her, never with any sign of annoyance.

So how is it she found herself having the audacity to yell at him multiple times?

She closed her eyes in frustration with herself. She hated that she acted that way towards someone who had been nothing but kind to her. Yet, even after all that, he’s still taking care of her. He’s still happy to have her support. He’s still making sure she’s warm, more than himself.

A chuckle brought her out of her thoughts.

“If you tug on your hair any harder, you might start losing hair faster than Yoongi hyung.”

She snapped up into a sitting position, startling Hoseok into doing the same.

“I’m sorry.” She sighed when he gave her a confused look. “I know you said I don’t need to apologize, but I just had to. You’ve been nothing but nice to me for years, yet I still blew my top off at you when you were just checking up on me.”

“It’s okay,” he reassured her, resting a hand on her back. “It was bound to happen someday. The only other time I’ve ever seen you get angry is your elementary school graduation. It’s about time you learned that bottling everything up forever isn’t going to do you any good.”

“But I hurt you!” Her voice came out choked almost as if another word would have made her break.

“Maybe a little, yeah,” he chuckled, “but I’m a big boy. I can handle it. Besides, you apologized, and I already forgave you. There’s nothing to feel so bad about, okay? Come here.”

She let him gather her up into his lap. Warmth spread throughout her, and she felt her chest get lighter after melting into the older’s hug. She tried her best to swallow the lump in her throat, but her tears slipped out.

“Aigoo,” he wiped her cheeks dry, “look at you. Has this been eating you up this whole time?”

She nodded and hid her face in the crevice where his neck met his shoulder.

“No more.” He patted her head. “Next time something weighs you down like this, just ask me to look at the sky, and we can do that, okay?”

She was amazed. Here he was again, kind-hearted Hoseok who always took care of her. “You’d do that?”

“I’m not Jungkookie or Yoongie hyung, but I’m still your older brother. Now we can have our own tradition.”

“A new tradition…”

“Mhmm.”

She looked up at him, finally a look of ease on her face. “I might just take you up on that offer, so long as you do the same.”

“It’s a deal.”

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕜❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ namjoon and yoongi call bangtan for a discussion about their future

⇢ set in late september 2017; the first of a long conflict within the group that they somehow manage to hide from the public

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ talking about disbandment, signs of anxiety, breaking down, carelessness

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

Yoonmi was nervous to say the least.

Namjoon had called for a group meeting in one of the company’s official meeting rooms. This meant something serious was happening. It couldn’t possibly be about a new album since they were in the middle of promoting Her. The only thing that could come into mind was the restraining order the company was helping her file against the sasaeng that stalked her in her school fair.

She cautiously sat next to Jungkook who could sense her nervousness and placed a hand on her knee to keep it from bouncing and to calm her down. She took a deep breath and tried to read the room. Taehyung and Jimin weren’t there yet. Hoseok and Seokjin were in their own little world. Jungkook was absentmindedly drawing something on the table with his free hand’s pointer finger.

Then she looked at Yoongi and Namjoon. She never usually felt this way, but, at that moment, it seemed like there was a glass wall keeping her from reaching them. They sat at the head of the table with grave expressions, the air around them seeming gray. At least, that’s how it felt to her.

Jungkook tapped his finger against her knee to get her attention.

“You okay?” he leaned down to whisper just as Taehyung and Jimin walked into the room. “Your breathing’s starting to quicken.”

“I’m fine,” she nodded while placing her hands on the table in front of her.

The two maknaes turned to Namjoon who had coughed to silence the room.

“I know it’s our rest day,” he began, “but I want us to be able to discuss this as soon as possible.”

“Namjoon and I were talking,” Yoongi leaned forward, “and we came to a similar conclusion. We’re at our peak as a group.”

Yoonmi smiled just the slightest bit. They had been able to break into the US Market, thus establishing them as the most successful kpop group in America. She was proud to be able to do that with her members.

“You called us to celebrate?” Taehyung questioned the two.

Namjoon shook his head. “I called you guys here today to talk about something more serious. Leaving while we’re at the peak.”

Yoonmi’s smile dropped, along with her heart. She tensed up while looking at her leader. Did he… Was he implying what she thought he was implying?

“I’m sorry,” Jimin laughed as if he heard a joke. “Could you repeat that in words that aren’t riddles?”

“I’m not so sure about this,” Yoongi began, “but Namjoon thought that ending our group activities to start our own things while we’re at our peak would be good for us.”

“Ending…” Jungkook trailed off. Yoonmi placed a hand on his, and he turned his palm upward to clutch hers. “You mean disbanding?”

I was only when Jungkook said it out loud that everyone fully processed what Namjoon was trying to imply. A silence fell over the room, letting the word sink into everyone’s minds.

Yoonmi’s chest tightened when the word hit her ears. She subconsciously tightened her hold on Jungkook’s hand and looked towards Yoongi and Namjoon.

“What?” Taehyung asked. “You want us to disband now? Just to do solo activities?”

“There’s literally no point in that,” Jungkook added. “You hyungs release mixtapes, Mimi does her solo stuff, and Taehyung hyung has acted, all while still being in the group.”

“It’s more than that, Kookie,” Seokjin looked at the younger from across the table. “People tie our image down to the group. They don’t see our solo work as our own stuff, but as a product of the group. It actually makes sense to do what Namjoon’s implying.”

“I don’t know,” Jimin added quietly. “I like being in the group. We can always release our own solo things, yeah. Then again, you have a point.”

Hoseok stared intently at the center of the table while taking in what everyone was saying. She sent him pleading eyes as if to tell him to be opposed to the idea.

“Can I get everyone’s stand on this?” Namjoon asked. “As of now, I’m for it.”

“It would be nice to leave while we’re at the peak of everything,” Yoongi began, “but I’m still not a hundred percent sure.”

“I…,” Jimin hesitated while looking at the leader, “I don’t know, hyung.”

“I’m not opposed to it,” Seokjin leaned back. “Namjoon’s our leader, and I trust that he knows what’s best for us.”

“Well, I’m against it,” Taehyung frowned.

“It makes no sense,” Jungkook agreed. “Why would we? It’s not as practical as you all think it is.”

“It doesn’t sound too bad,” Hoseok spoke up. “Maybe we can think about it for a little while.”

There was another silence after that. One person hasn’t spoken, and that person was sitting still in her seat, looking like she was betrayed.

“No,” she stated. Her voice was hoarse. She swallowed the lump in her throat, but it still felt like she couldn’t breathe. They all looked at her as if urging her to continue. “You guys said we’d be together till the end. You guys promised. This isn’t the end.”

Yoongi got up and moved to comfort her, but she stood up and backed away from him, removing her hand from Jungkook’s.

“Princess…” He lifted his hand to place on her shoulder, but she hit it away. This surprised everyone.

“No,” she said, her voice cracking as if trying not to cry, “don’t touch me. You’re actually considering this for real. You guys promised you wouldn’t leave me.”

She glared at the people who showed some sort of agreement to Namjoon’s idea before standing up and walking to the door.

“Now I know why Hannah unnie doesn’t believe in promises.”

The door shook as she slammed it shut behind her. Jungkook glared at Yoongi then at Namjoon.

“Look at what you did,” he practically growled. He grabbed his and Yoonmi’s stuff before chasing after her.

Yoongi fell back into the chair Yoonmi previously occupied. He exchanged looks with some of the other members. He was about to speak when Taehyung got up and left the room without a word. Jimin had his head in his hands. It seemed like the two 95s had their own argument on the side while Yoonmi was talking.

Yoongi looked at Namjoon.

“This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.”

Jungkook rushed through the building, trying to catch up to Yoonmi. He cursed to himself. Why did she have to be such a fast person?

He made it out of the building, and he saw her walking without any sign of stopping. The stoplight just went from red to green, and it looked like she didn’t know. Her hands were rubbing at her eyes, and he could see how she violently her body was shaking from the way she was crying.

His breath hitched in his throat when he saw a car driving forward without any sign of stopping.

Jungkook immediately ran out onto the street and practically carried her to the sidewalk.

“Let go!” she struggled against him while he pulled her over to the small reading nook that nobody went to near their building.

Jungkook briefly looked around to see if anyone was there. When he saw no one, he gripped Yoonmi by the shoulders.

“What were you thinking?” he asked her. “You could have gotten killed! You know you can barely see when you’re crying. Why would you do that?”

Jungkook could hear his heart pumping way faster than it should. Not only did their leader talk about disbanding, but he also literally almost lost his best friend. The rush from almost getting hit by a car was still making him way more jittery than he should be. It’s only when he looked at Yoonmi that he calmed down.

She was hunched over her knees on the ground, hands wound into her hair. He barely processed the fact that she was still struggling to breathe before kneeling down next to her and taking her hands out of her hair gently. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She sobbed into his shoulder, her cries filling the small nook.

“I can’t” she gasped out. “They promised! But this is happening, and Namjoon oppa brought up dis-”

She choked on the last word and never finished it. She buried her head further into Jungkook’s jacket and sobbed harder. Jungkook wasn’t sure if he was shaking because of her or because he was confused, upset, and angry himself. All he knew was that he needed to calm her down.

“I’m right here,” he reassured her. “Taehyung hyung is on our side, too, so don’t worry. We’ll talk sense into them, alright?”

Yoonmi didn’t say anything. Her hands clenched around his shirt, and she seemed to be trying to push herself closer to him.

Jungkook tightened his arms around her and started lightly rocking her back and forth. He looked up when he heard footsteps and saw the old lady who owned the nook. He bowed his head as much as he could to her.

“Is she alright?”

“No,” Jungkook admitted, “but we will be. Eventually.”

He could feel the way her muscles slightly released their tension as he continued to gently rock them back and forth on the ground.

“Stand up from there, dear,” the old lady told him. “There’s a couch just behind that wall. And maybe call her brother. Yoonmi, sweetie, would you like something sweet?”

Jungkook looked up at the lady in shock. She chuckled at his expression.

“She comes here more often than you think,” she said. “Now go over and get yourselves settled on the couch. The floor is too hard. I’ll be back with some comfort food. Free of charge for my number one visitor.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook told her.

He gently lifted Yoonmi into his arms and stood up to look for the couch the lady had mentioned. He gently set her down and pulled a blanket out of one of the open cupboards nearby. He sat next to her and draped the blanket over them.

Yoonmi immediately clung to his shirt and didn’t let him remove his arm from around her. Not that he was going to do that, or anything.

“Why would they do this? I mean, why would they even think of it?”

“I don’t know, Mimi,” Jungkook whispered while pulling out his phone to message Yoonsung to pick them up. “I don’t know.”

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕓𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi talks to a stranger, and her relationship with yoongi hits turbulence

⇢ set in late october 2017

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ mentions of disbanding, fighting

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

“Yoonmi, it’s been two weeks. Come sleep at the dorm again?”

Yoonmi didn’t even glance at Seokjin. She just continued to pack up her backpack and got ready to go back to her brother’s house. All she wanted to do was get out of there and avoid the now three boys on board with Namjoon’s idea and the two others who were considering it.

It had been a month since that meeting, and Namjoon had tried to call another meeting halfway through that. It didn’t turn out well. She hated the fact that they kept bringing the idea up. She couldn’t help feeling like she was one step closer to losing her boys.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a hand pulling on hers as she tried to walk out of the door. She turned around to see Seokjin looking at her almost desperately.

“Yoonmi, please,” he pleased.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she wrenched her hand out of his. She turned around and went straight to the building’s parking lot. Seokjin tried to follow after her, but she was already speeding out if the parking lot on her motorcycle by the time he got there.

Yoonmi used the sensation of the wind whipping past her body to calm herself. The sound of her engine revving was familiar. It was comforting. She drove straight to the Han river which was one of the two spots she’d go to when she wanted to think. After securing her motorcycle somewhere it wouldn’t be towed away, she settled as near as she could to the water, her helmet by her side.

“I’ve been going here way too often,” she murmured to herself while dipping her finger into the river and absentmindedly drawing on the pavement.

She sat there for a while, knees tucked under her chin while she thought about everything that was happening. She wondered if she should go to the SHINee boys for advice. They’d been together for nine years at that point. Maybe she could get them to help her convince the boys they can do their own thing and stay together. She let out a heavy sigh and leaned back, raising her chin to face the sky.

“Excuse me?”

Yoonmi turned around and saw a girl who seemed to be a few years older than her judging by the university jacket she wore. Yoonmi tensed a little, still on edge about the last sasaeng incident. The girl must have seen this.

“Oh, sorry to scare you,” she stepped back a little. “I know you’re still probably a little shaken up by the SOPA incident.”

The SOPA incident. That’s what people had started calling the sasaeng incident that happened during their school fair. She thought it would have stayed on the down low. But, of course, people found out about it. It involved members of BTS, Wanna One, and NCT. It was inevitable.

Yoonmi looked at the girl for a bit and decided that she didn’t seem like a sasaeng. She looked like she stopped by to destress from university life as well. Yoonmi removed her helmet and patted the spot next to her.

“No, it’s okay,” she smiled, “but how do you know me?”

“My best friend is an ARMY,” the girl responded, “and I’m an Nctzen, so I’ve seen you with Hannah and the Dreamies. I listen to some of your music as well. My name is Yeseul. I thought it would be fair for you to know my name since I know yours.”

Yoonmi smiled. She was a little bit more reassured at the fact that Yeseul wasn’t exactly an ARMY. There wasn’t much of an expectation for her, and that meant this person couldn’t possibly be some weird stalker.

“What brings you here? If you don’t mind telling me, though.”

“I come here a lot,” Yoonmi shrugged while looking out at the water. “I come here to think or to write. It’s a nice place to clear your mind. Well, while there aren’t any people. They’ll start coming in around an hour, though.”

“I do the same thing,” Yeseul gasped. “I just moved here a few months ago for college, and I usually go here after my last class right before it crowds up.”

“University has you stressed, huh?” Yoonmi scoffed, remembering the way her old parents were already deciding her college courses for her when she was nine.

“You have no idea,” Yeseul groaned while flicking some water in front of her. “I’m so stressed out especially since my parents expect me to get a scholarship. I don’t even like my course, but their expectations are so high! I don’t want to disappoint any— Oh, sorry. I got a little carried away.”

Yoonmi gave her a reassuring look. “No, it’s fine. If venting helps you destress, then go ahead.”

“That was pretty much the gist of it,” the older girl laughed a little. Yoonmi giggled a little bit. They sat in silence and stared at the water rushing past the rocks in the river.

“See that?” Yoonmi asked her while pointing down at the river. “One of the reasons I like going here is that. The way the river flows despite there being rocks in the way is like a reminder for me that I can push past obstacles and keep going.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“Not many people do,” she said before reaching down to kick a small rock over. “You know, this is like a rock for you. But I believe you can get past it. One thing I would suggest, though, is doing what you know you want to do.”

Yeseul looked at the younger girl in curiosity. “Even if my parents don’t support me?”

“Even then,” Yoonmi gave a bitter laugh. “You can’t let other people keep you from what you love. I came here to pursue music, and now I have my dream job and amazing people surrounding me. I’m sure you’ll get the same.”

These amazing people who she never wanted to leave. She frowned a little bit thinking about how she was so close to losing seven of those people. The very people who raised her to be who she was.

Yoonmi could feel Yeseul staring at her. She rubbed her knee a little nervously, knowing she implied her parents being unsupportive. If Yeseul noticed, she didn’t say anything, which Yoonmi was thankful for.

“Thank you,” the older smiled at her. “It’s amazing that you have these amazing people by your side. Your bandmates are like a found family, huh? The kind that stays together forever. Oh, can I ask a favor? But it’s okay if you don’t do it.”

Yeseul didn’t see the way Yoonmi flinched.

“What is it?”

“My best friend, Yongsun, is insecure about her name. I was wondering if you could maybe give her a small video message? It would mean the world to her.”

“Oh but her name is so pretty,” Yoonmi gushed. “It’s like she’s a sun dragon! That’s amazing! No problem.”

Yoonmi accepted Yeseul’s phone and recorded a little message for Yongsun. Just as they were going over it, Yoonmi felt someone walking up to them. She turned and saw Jungkook quickly approaching, a hard look on his face as he saw the older girl with Yoonmi.

“Oppa, this is Yeseul unnie,” Yoonmi introduced while standing up alongside Yeseul. “She goes to university, and she come here to destress like I do sometimes. She’s an NCT fan, and her best friend is an ARMY.”

Jungkook’s look softened as the girl bowed at him in greeting. Jungkook bowed back and slung an arm around Yoonmi.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jungkook told the Yeseul before turning to Yoonmi. “Haeeun texted. She’s asking if you wanna see her new place.”

“Sounds good,” Yoonmi nodded. “Unnie, is there anything you want me to pass to her?”

“If it isn’t a problem,” Yeseul’s eyes widened as she looked in her bag. She pulled out a notebook. “I have a few letters in there for them. It’s like a scrapbook.”

“You do this in class, don’t you?” Yoonmi laughed as the girl’s cheeks went a little red. “No problem, unnie. I’ll make sure this gets to them. Also, would you mind keeping the fact that I go here often a secret?”

“I’ve got you,” Yeseul smiled. “Thank you for today.”

“Thank you, too,” Yoonmi smiled. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet here again.”

The two waved to each other before Yoonmi turned to lead Jungkook to her motorcycle. Jungkook, as crazy as he looked, had brought his helmet with him when he took the cab to the Han river.

“Could you not make me worry like that?” he asked her while they slipped on their helmets and got on the motorcycle.

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t have run off.”

“No, it’s not that, I know where you go whenever you run off. “Jungkook waved his hand as she started the engine. He moved his grip to her waist. “It’s down the street of their old dorm, by the way. It’s the fact that you were talking to a complete stranger! What if it was a sasaeng?”

“I think my instincts have improved,” she shrugged before zipping off.

Yoonmi slipped into her brother’s house with Jungkook on her heels. She was laughing while He recalled how Mark really decided to try and eat the pizza they had all made together the moment it got out of the oven. Then her face fell on the couch of the living room.

What was Yoongi doing there?

They made eye contact, Yoongi’s eyes holding some kind of hope. That hope died the moment she walked straight past him and into her room. She didn’t even notice Yoonsung, who was carrying Yoonseol, standing by the kitchen.

Yoonseol looked up at her dad. “Papa, unnie mad?”

Yoonsung watched as Yoongi got up and sped his way to her room. He shook his head and exchanged a look with Jungkook.

“Unnie’s a little mad at Uncle Yoongi,” the elder told his daughter.

“We’ll give them some time, won’t we?” Jungkook smiled while taking the two-year-old from her dad. “How about oppa plays with you until Uncle Yoongi leaves?”

“Play!”

“Jungkook, her bedtime!” Yoonsung’s words were ignored as Jungkook carried a giggling Yoonseol to her room.

Meanwhile, Yoongi made it to her door just as she shut it. He rested his forehead against it in frustration. He was just a few seconds too late.

“Yoonmi-ah,” he knocked on the door, “open up, please?”

“Go away!”

The words felt like an arrow through Yoongi’s chest. She always loved having him around her, but that wasn’t the case this time. It hasn’t been like that for over a month. He missed having Yoonmi around him outside of promotions and official schedules. He sighed. Now, it just felt like she hated him.

“Please,” he called through the door. “It’s been a month. I just want things to go back to normal.”

The silence that followed felt like days to Yoongi, but he heard the door unlock slowly.

“Normal?” Yoonmi’s voice came before he saw her. The door opened to reveal her frowning. “You want things to be normal? Well, you should have thought about that before even bringing up disbanding.”

“Think about it, Yoonmi,” he explained. “It’s better to end it now than fade out into nothingness. We’ll be remembered as a group who did things no other kpop group has done before rather than the group who faded into nothing.”

He watched Yoonmi as her breath hitched. He noticed the way she straightened out and looked him in the eye, something she never really does with anyone. She ran a hand through her hair while her eyes started tearing up.

“You said it was all eight of us to the end,” she shook her head, voice shaky. “You all promised me no one was gonna leave. You all said we’d stick together no matter what, and, right now, it seems like only three of us are keeping our word. You know, I told someone how I found a family here.”

Yoonmi scoffed and looked away from Yoongi. Yoongi didn’t like that. He didn’t like the way she thought they would leave her. He didn’t like that she laughed at the idea of them as her family as if they hurt her.

“She told me it must be nice to have a found family that would stay forever. I guess that’s not the case, huh?”

“Yoonmi-ah,” Yoongi’s eyes softened.

“Don’t talk to me,” she shook her head at him. “You can’t. Not until you understand that this is nonsense.”

The door slammed in his face, and it was locked. Yoongi staggered backwards as if he was punched. His head drooped low as he left Yoonsung’s house.

Jungkook snuck out of Yoonseol’s room, key to Yoonmi’s in hand. He unlocked her room door and looked around.

“Mimi,” he stepped in, closing the door behind him. “I know you’re not okay. Come on.”

He couldn’t see her, but he could hear the sound of her sniffling. It broke his heart, but it helped him find her. He opened her closet door and saw her sitting at the bottom, head tucked into her knees, body shaking from tears.

“Oh no,” he knelt down in front of her. She looked up at him, tears running down her face. Jungkook rubbed them away with his sleeves.

“l fought Yoongi oppa,” she whispered before launching herself into Jungkook’s arms. “He hates me.”

“No, no one can hate you,” Jungkook kissed the side of her head, “especially not Yoongi hyung.”

Jungkook pulled her closer to him, trying to make sure she knew he was not going anywhere. He hated that she thought anyone could hate her. He hated that she was hurting because of the people she trusts with her life. He hated that she has been falling apart slowly for a month and that he could barely do anything about it. He hated the timing of everything.

He hated how it affected him more than it should.

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi understands that just because they aren’t together doesn’t mean people are gone. and she made a promise she intends to keep.

⇢ set in late december 2017

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ talks of disbandment, subtle mentions of jonghyun, self-blaming

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

Yoonmi hated conflict.

She also hated confrontation and the thought of being left behind, but she found herself surrounded by practically everything that she didn’t like.

She wasn’t talking to more than half of her group, she was constantly being sat into meetings where they’re telling her to choose what she wants to do with her future whether or not she stays with the people in her group. She felt like she was being left behind once again by people she cared about, and that alone broke her. Now that someone she had looked up to for so long is gone as well, let’s just say she was stuck in a quandary.

She was confused, and she didn’t like the feeling. She wanted to be sure about everything. Maybe that's why she was always studying. She liked knowing what people are saying, and she liked understanding. The moment something happens that makes her uncertain, it was like something would choke her. Now, she couldn’t breathe.

“Hey, aegi,” Taehyung’s voice popped in from the doorway. He closed the door behind him and settled on the floor next to her head. “No one’s seen you in days. We leave for America tomorrow.”

She flinched. Last time she heard something like that…

“I know,” she nodded. “Ggukoo oppa packed my stuff when he thought I was asleep last night. I swear, I meant to do it myself, I just… couldn’t.”

Taehyung sighed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s okay, aegi. We get it.”

She sat up and looked at Taehyung. Her vision was clouded, she wasn’t sure what by, and her chest felt heavy. She sighed and closed her eyes. Taehyung cooed at her and got in next to her, pulling her to his lap.

“I didn’t think he’d be gone,” she whispered. “He said he wouldn’t leave, but he’s gone.”

Her body was calm, and she wasn’t crying. That was what worried Taehyung the most. There were no signs of tears falling. There was no breaking down. There was nothing. Taehyung felt like he was looking at an empty shell. It was almost as if she had completely dried herself out of any feeling and ended up numb.

“He’s not gone,” he reassured her. “He’s still here, and he’s not leaving you. He’s right here, and he’s still guiding you, alright?”

Yoonmi let the words sink in.

Another person she loved gone, but… Taehyung says he isn’t really gone?

Her head drooped down, and she picked up Taehyung’s hand. She played with his fingers for a bit while going through her thoughts.

It had been just a little over two months, and everything was a complete blur to her. She didn’t know what was going on anymore. Her mind was all over the place, and she couldn’t even go to the main person who she normally went to because she was frustrated with him. She was heartbroken at the thought of what her members wanted to do, and now it all combined with the current situation. Yet she still couldn’t talk to her members because she was mad.

But she didn’t want to be mad. Not anymore.

“Please cry, Yoonmi,” Taehyung almost begged. “I need to know you’re still in there.”

She gripped his hand a little tighter.

“I don’t think I can cry anymore.” She gently got off of him and hid herself under her blankets. “I think I’ve cried myself dry.”

Taehyung sighed and tucked her into bed. She showed no response or reaction at all. Just like the past few days. He placed a kiss on her forehead once again and walked towards the door. He turned to look at her again, and he could see her eyes were still wide open and staring off into nowhere.

He shook his head and looked at Jungkook who was about to enter the room and head to sleep.

“Keep an eye on her.”

“Hyung, you didn’t even need to ask.”

Something that seemed almost impossible happened.

Yoonmi joined the seven boys for breakfast.

She knew they were all civil enough to eat meals together (honestly, it just made her feel worse about herself), and she knew that it would be the best time to talk to them about what she had spent the night thinking about. But no one expected it when she sat down on the seat between Jungkook and Yoongi that stayed vacant for two months.

“You look exhausted,” Jimin cautiously spoke to her as if he were afraid he’d set her off. Hoseok placed a glass in front of her, and that slightly annoyed her, especially when Namjoon poured water into it.

“I didn’t sleep last night.”

The fact that she responded made all seven boys shocked. They all gaped at her in surprise, but she kept her eyes down on the plate in front of her.

Seokjin quickly got over his surprise and moved to place some food on her plate, but he froze when she stared at him. Her eyes weren’t the warm doe eyes he had gotten used to. They were cold and lifeless. He couldn’t recognize them at all.

“I can get food by myself.” her words were straight and emotionless to the point it made nearly everyone flinch.

She felt a hand rest on her knee. It was Jungkook. She looked at him, and he nodded at her as if he knew she wanted to talk. She sighed. He always knew.

“Look,” she placed her chopsticks down and sat up straighter, “I’m sorry. Please don’t say anything until I finish talking, this took me a lot of courage to say. I’m just… I’m sorry. I know I’m being petty for not talking to you guys about this, and I’m sorry.”

She took a deep breath while recalling what Taehyung had told her last night. She took a look at the seven boys in front of her. They had raised her since she was ten. They’ve taught her, helped her, made her upset, and all that, but they stuck by her side no matter what happened. They wouldn’t just throw her under the bus like that. She knew that now, for sure. Well, she hoped.

She looked back down at her plate. “I get it now. I know you guys are still going to be there by my side until you get sick of me. I hope that isn’t for a while. But I trust you guys. You said you wouldn’t leave me, and I need to trust you. I’m learning to trust you. You guys will be here, and I see that now.”

Some heads shook while the others softened their gazes at her. “I made a promise to Jonghyun oppa. I told him I’d try to enjoy every moment as Bangtan as I can, and I don’t want to break that promise. I’m still very much against disbanding, but I don’t want to fight anymore. So, I’m apologizing for being irrational and petty. You don’t have to forgive me, but I’d like to at least be civil. And I’m sorry for snapping just a few minutes ago, I’m still trying to… Well, I’m working on it.”

There was a brief moment of silence that engulfed the room. It was like they were all afraid that speaking would wake them up from whatever dream they were having. Yoonmi bit her lip, and her hand made its way to her hair.

Yoongi experimentally raised his hand and placed it on hers. She flinched a little, but she didn’t back away. Though he was hurt by her flinching, she didn’t push him away like she would have before. It was a start.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he told her. “I’m sure we all understand that it was scary for you. The whole situation made you remember things you don’t want to remember, so you went into defensive mode. It’s okay.”

“You really have nothing to apologize for, Yoonmi,” Seokjin reassured her.

Yoonmi looked at the two eldest members in disbelief. She acted up in what she thought was teenage rebellion due to puberty. She was disrespectful to them, and she caused complications within the group. Yet, there they were, coddling her like she wasn’t at fault. She didn’t like that.

“No, I do,” her adamant tone brought everyone’s attention fully back to her. “I overreacted, and I was disrespectful. I’m at fault, and I want to apologize.”

Namjoon observed her. To him, it seemed like she was not aware of just how much the whole situation with her parents back then affected her. It was clearly her trauma of being left behind acting up, yet she was still taking the blame. She thought it was purely on her own personality for lashing out like that, and it hurt him to think that she thought so lowly of herself. He made a mental note to talk to her about seeing a therapist later on. For now…

“It’s okay, we get why you reacted that way,” Namjoon reassured her, “but, if you still think you’re at fault, I can speak for all of us when I say we forgive you.”

Yoonmi slumped in her chair, a tension released as if someone had taken a weight off her shoulders. Though she still felt guilty, this was a start.

“It’ll take me a while,” she began, “and I’m not mad. Not anymore. I just— It’s been a while.”

It went without saying. They knew she would still react strangely to them if her earlier actions were any indication.

“That’s okay,” Hoseok reassured her, “you can take your time. You have us right here if you need help. Especially Taehyung and Jungkook.”

She gave them a small smile and quickly looked back down at her plate. She couldn’t keep eye contact with them. Not while she still felt like they should be frustrated with the way she was acting.

Then there was rice placed on her plate, quickly followed by some cuts of the meat that they had on the table. She looked up. Seokjin smiled at her once she saw him sitting back down in his chair. He had tried again despite her snapping at him earlier on.

Maybe she didn’t deserve them.

“Eat up, princess,” he smiled.

No, she didn’t deserve them. Not at all.

Jimin came knocking at her door while she was finishing checking on all the things Jungkook had packed (and possibly forgotten to pack) for her.

“Need some help?”

She looked at him for a bit before reluctantly nodding. “Yes, please.”

Jimin came into the room and sat across from her, helping her fold her clothes properly. They worked in silence for a while, Jimin observing her every move. His eyes never left her, and it didn’t fly past her.

“Why are you staring?”

“I just missed you,” he admitted. “I could talk to Tae and Jungkook, but I couldn’t get through to you at all. I guess I’m just taking you in.”

Yoonmi pursed her lips as she and Jimin placed the last of her clothes into her luggage. To be fair, she has been staying at her brother’s house for a while, and she never really stayed with the boys unless they had schedules or rehearsals. She looked up at Jimin’s face, noticing how he stayed the same, but there were still some subtle differences.

His gaze reached hers as his smile softened, “You look like you’ve matured.”

“It’s constantly wondering if I should leave before you oppas leave me, I guess,” she gave the smallest of laughs. Jimin’s soft smile morphed into a frown, confusing her. “What?”

“Don’t say things like that,” his eyes showed hurt as if he was betrayed. “You know we’d never leave you. Whether we disband or not, you know we’re never going to do that.”

“I know that now,” she clarified, “well, I’m understanding it now. But I didn’t back then when they first brought it up. Maybe it would have been better for all of us if I wasn’t so childish about it.”

“I thought we told you to stop putting the blame on yourself! It’s not your fault.”

Yoonmi just shrugged. “It is what it is. But thanks for the help, oppa.”

She lightly placed her hand on his shoulder in acknowledgement before going to the bathroom to shower.

Jimin sighed. Sure, she had reacted a bit extremely, but it was for good reasons. He shook his head as he zipped up her luggage. He needed to find a way to get her to understand that it wasn’t her fault and that what happened to her years ago made her react that way.

“At least she understands that we aren’t leaving her.”

From behind the bathroom door, Yoonmi presses her back against the wall and shuts her eyes.

“I sure hope not”

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕖❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi talks to namjoon, comes to understand herself better, and namjoon delivers news

⇢ set in late january 2018

⇢ the last of angst for yoonmi for a while ✊🏻 the babie deserves her happiness

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ talks of disbandment, hints of trauma, talks of yoonmi’s biological parents, signs of anxiety and panic attacks

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

Yoonmi looked at all the article headers that she had opened on the laptop. Every single one of them were criticizing her. Again. Why were they being so quick to judge just because she cried while performing? Why were they calling her rude for not smiling? Or for being more chic on stage? Isn’t that what they wanted? For years, they wanted her to be more intimidating for Bangtan’s image, but now they’re saying she’s rude because of it.

She laughed humorlessly. “Nothing ever pleases them.”

“Nothing ever pleases who?”

Yoonmi’s head whipped around, and she saw Namjoon enter her studio, manager Sejin’s figure walking away outside. She quickly minimized the windows on her screen and swiveled her chair to face her leader.

“The voices in my head,” she stated simply. “The tracks I’m working on aren’t fitting my standards right now. Why are you in here?”

Namjoon pulled over her stool and sat next to her. “I came to check on you. And I highly doubt that. I saw words on that screen and not a software. Is it the netizens again?”

“It’s fine,” she shrugged. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. You don’t have to worry about it, I know you’re busy.”

“I will worry about it because I’m your oppa, and I’m your leader,” he opened up the windows he saw her close and looked through the articles.

Leader for now.

She didn’t say those words out loud. Starting an unnecessary argument was the last thing she wanted. It had only been a month since she started talking to the other five boys again, so she didn’t want anything to get awkward. Still, though. It was a little weird having them dote on her again now that she was trying to make things go back to the way they were. But they were being extra careful. It was almost as if they were trying to lessen the blow for when it finally happened.

She didn’t understand, though. Why were they trying so hard when it should have been the other way around. She was childish, so they had every right to get mad at her. So why were they trying that hard.

“Why are you being nice to me?” The words left her mouth without a thought. Namjoon froze and sat back to look at her while she spoke. “I was irrational and childish. I overreacted and caused you guys problems, so why are you being so nice to me?”

She braced herself as Namjoon took a deep breath and turned his whole body to face her. This was it. He was going to scold her. She didn’t know if she was prepared, but she knew she deserved whatever scolding she was about to get.

“Yoonmi-ah,” he began, “You’re a smart kid, and you know how you reacted. But we can’t blame you for that. Two years ago, something happened to you that changed the way your mind and defense mechanisms work.”

“I know,” she nodded, a little unsure of where this was going, “but I saw a therapist. I’m better now.”

“I know you’re better,” his warm smile made Yoonmi confused, “but sometimes, things happen that can change the way you react to things. Despite you running away from them, you still loved them and trusted they’d open up to you, but that didn’t happen. From what I’m thinking, the whole situation we have might’ve reminded you of that. So you went into this new defense mechanism.”

She shook her head. That wasn’t possible. She was over it. She completely cut those people out of her life after they left her behind. There was no way that they could still have that effect on her, right? But, the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

“I was scared you’d leave me behind like they did…” her voice trailed off. “So I lashed out.”

“Exactly. None of us blame you. It’s mostly normal you reacted the way you did, but you worked your way past it.”

She could barely process Namjoon’s words. She was too busy thinking about how those two people still left such a huge scar in her life even when they were gone. They probably didn’t blink an eye when they disowned her, but she was still damaged.

“It’s not fair,” her voice barely came out as a whisper. “They’re gone, but why do they still have this effect on me?”

“Yoonmi,” Namjoon held his arms out to her. She lightly placed her hand on his arm and leaned forward. She allowed him to pull her into a hug, the first she had gotten from him in four months. She felt warmth running down her cheeks while she hid her face in his neck. “I’ve got you. We’ve got you, alright? There are scars that run deeper than you think, but you don’t have to worry about them, okay? You’ll always have the people around you to help you.”

“It’s not fair.” She was overwhelmed by the realization and by her leader’s affection. “It’s not fair. How can they come out of it unscathed while I’m left here broken because of them.”

“They’re heartless, Yoonmi,” he reassured her. “You don’t need them. We’re right here, okay?”

“I’m broken,” The realization hit her like a ton of bricks all at once. She felt her heart drop. “I’m still broken. I don’t want to be broken!”

“No, it’s okay,” Namjoon brought her into his lap and rocked her, the same way he did when she first broke down in front of him seven years ago. “You can build yourself back up stronger, and all seven of us will be with you every step of the way.”

She didn’t know if it was just because of her realization or because of how Namjoon was being supportive of her, but she cried even more. She choked a little bit, her grip on Namjoon’s sleeves tightening. They sat there, Namjoon silently murmuring reassurances to her and rubbing her back to calm her down.

“Thank you,” she told him, “for everything. And for handling me well.”

“Anytime, makdungie,” he told her. “Shouldn’t you be saying this to the others, too?”

She nodded. “I will. I’d just prefer to do so when I’m not in this state.”

Namjoon just hummed and continued rhythmically patting her back. She felt one of his hands disappear. She suspected he was texting the PR team about the articles. It was either that or messaging the groupchat with the boys about her being in this state. She didn’t know which she wanted less.

“Oppa,” she began just as a silence was settling over them, “why do we have to disband?”

“You answer me this,” he curved the question back to her. “Why shouldn’t we disband.”

She knew she should feel hurt by that question, but there was genuine curiosity in Namjoon’s voice. He was asking objectively.

“Because we started this together,” she stated simply. “We all wanted to follow our dreams, and we worked together to get where we are. We work well together, too. And it’s not like we can’t do solo things on the side. I’ve had two solo promotions so far, but I’m still here.”

“You’re overworked,” Namjoon reasoned.

“I don’t care.” Yoonmi was firm with her words. “I enjoy working with you guys. I have rest days. I love working with you guys, and we all have a good work dynamic. Besides, it doesn’t matter if we fade from the public as long as we’re together, right?”

Namjoon hummed and leaned back to meet her eyes. She stared back at him with determination. She was going to convince Namjoon as much as she could.

“It’s not worth disbanding, oppa,” she told him as earnestly as she could. “You guys promised me you’d all be with me until the end. I hope you know that that means both as my family and as Bangtan, the idol group. I never knew how important the number seven was to me until I understood how much I need all seven of you to stay with me in everything we’ll experience. Each one of us have seven people by our side.”

Namjoon smiled at her and lightly pushed her off of his lap. “Well said, kiddo. Come on, we need to get some food in you. I know you haven’t been eating properly the past few months.”

She just nodded. At least he didn’t brush her off. Maybe he would think about her points and change his mind. The only thing she could do for now was try and get the boys to see her side.

A meeting was called just a few days later. Yoonmi found herself nervously bouncing her leg, hand tightly gripping Taehyung’s while they waited for Namjoon to start.

The leader walked into the room just then, Hoseok on his trail. “Sorry about that. We were just clarifying things for Hoseok’s mixtape.”

Oh. Right. Hoseok’s solo project. It was going to be released in a little over a month. She nearly forgot that she had helped him on a track while they were on tour in the previous year.

Was this it? Was this the announcement? Should she have prepared herself better for the end of their journey as an idol group? At least she knew that they’d stick by each other even if they end their contract, but was she ready for Bangtan to end? She felt Taehyung squeeze her hand as if telling her to stop. She looked up at him, and he shook his head.

She turned and accidentally made eye contact with Jungkook. He seemed to be trying to tell her not to worry, but the familiar air of the meeting room was unsettling. It reminded her of the very first meeting they had about the possibility of disbanding.

“Okay, I talked about this with each and every one of you alone.” Namjoon’s tone was hard to read. She couldn’t tell where this was going “I’ve gathered everyone’s opinions, and it seems like you’re all pretty final about your decisions.”

Yoonmi tightened her grip on Taehyung’s hand without thinking. She was right. This was it. She still hasn’t been able to talk to any of the other boys aside from Jimin and Namjoon about the whole situation, and she wasn’t even sure if she was able to convince them. Jimin, well, to her it felt like he already chose to stay as a group even before she tried to talk to him. That would make them four on each side, and she wasn’t sure if she convinced Namjoon…

“Come out with it, Namjoon,” Yoongi urged the leader. “There’s quite literally no use in making us wait.”

She was glad to know she wasn’t the only one anxious to hear it. In fact, she looked around the room. Jungkook was drumming his fingers on the table, Jimin had a hand resting on his face in worry. Hoseok’s eyes were darting around the room, and Seokjin was staring intently at the table. Taehyung was rubbing circles into the back of her hand. They were all waiting.

“We spent four months deliberating on this,” Namjoon continued, “and it seems everyone was able to actually find out what you want. The decision was unanimous.”

Yoonmi’s head snapped up. Unanimous? That would mean…

“Everyone thought the same thing?” Jungkook asked. When Namjoon nodded, she slowly looked around the room and turned to Namjoon.

“We’re continuing as Bangtan?” she asked, voice hopeful.

Namjoon gave her a warm smile. “Until the time is right, we’re staying as Bangtan.”

Yoonmi’s face slowly broke into a grin the more she understood that this wasn’t a dream or some sort of sick joke. She looked at everyone, and it looked like they were all relieved as well. She got up, pulling Taehyung along with her, and quickly went over to trap Namjoon in a hug. The leader wrapped his arms around her instinctively.

“Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

She felt Taehyung sandwich her from behind and laughed. She heard Jimin’s laughter join hers and felt more people join in on the hug. They were staying together.

“I told you, Yoonmi,” Namjoon ruffled her hair. “You’ll have all seven of us by your side for a long time. In all ways possible.”

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕞𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi decides to take risks, live in the present, and act on her feelings

⇢ set in early february 2018

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

Yoonmi knew she had been afraid of being left behind.

The countless visits to therapists as well as discussion with her brothers and members proved it. Not to mention how badly she reacted to… recent events. It never really hit her how bad it was until she processed the way she acted out on the older members.

She wanted to change that.

She realized that there is an end to everything and everyone and that, inevitably, people would one day be gone. But that didn’t mean she’d be left behind. She would have the memories to live by as well as everything she’d learnt. Sure, the fear of losing the people she held dear to her heart was still terrifying, but she wanted to push that fear away and make the most of her time with the people she loves.

She made that unspoken promise, and she intended to keep it. And she had been doing well.

Slowly but surely, she had patched up her relationships with the older members. There was still some slight tension left from the months of not speaking to each other outside of work, but they were comfortable enough. Everything was almost back to usual.

“It feels kinda nice,” she spoke aloud, catching Jimin’s attention. “Not being so worried about anyone leaving. Living in the moment.”

“Kinda?” Jimin raised an eyebrow at her before going over to her chair and smothering her in a hug, making her giggle. “I’m sure it feels way better now. Look! You’re finally working on a solo project again!”

“It’s not solo,” she reasoned, “it’s a collab with Hannah unnie. Besides, we were working on it before the whole issue happened. I feel bad for pushing it back, though.”

Yoonmi looked back at her computer screen. Hannah had asked her for help in songwriting with the hopes of being able to help in future songs. It ended up in her writing to something Yoonmi produced and SM offering to turn it into an SM Station. But then the tension rose in the band, and Yoonmi had asked for the release to be postponed indefinitely. Now, she was finalizing her own parts before sending the final version to Hannah then to SM.

“I’m sure Hannah doesn’t mind,” Jimin ruffled her hair. “You were in a rough situation. Speaking of NCT, don’t you think someone else deserves to feel the joys of your ending of your fear of being left behind?”

“I don’t know,” she reached up to pull at the ends of her hair, “should I tell him? It’s just that we haven’t properly talked about it since January last year. My main point still stands. It’s possible he doesn’t like me that way anymore.”

She knew Jimin was talking about Mark. He was one of the three people who knew what they had talked about regarding their feelings over a year ago (the other two being Chan and Jungkook). Her feelings hadn’t changed at all. She still liked him, maybe a little more. She couldn’t say the same for him, though. But Jimin begged to disagree.

“Aegi, please,” he lightly pinched the tip of her nose, “if he says he’ll wait for you, then he will. I don’t think he’d tell you that if he didn’t mean it.”

“Feelings change, oppa.”

Jimin facepalmed. “He messages you a lot. He takes you out on “non-official” dates. He sends you really meaningful gifts on days like your birthday, Christmas, and White Day. A lot of these he did even before he confessed to you. And have you seen the way he looks at you? He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky!”

“You sound like a fan on twitter,” she giggled at his mini spiel.

“Point is,” he gave her a look, “there is no way his feelings for you have changed. And I’m pretty sure they aren’t going away anytime soon.”

She chewed on her bottom lip while weighing her options. If she tells Mark that she was finally ready for a relationship, one of two things could happen. He could either be happy and ask her officially, or he could reject her leaving things awkward between them and ruining a friendship she absolutely adored.

Then again, she did say she’d try harder to live in the moment.

“We’ll see,” she gave Jimin a smile.

“Aigoo,” he cooed and cradled her face in his hands, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head, “our makdungie is growing up and dealing with love.”

“Shhh,” she laughed and wriggled out of his grip, “I want this to be a secret first, okay? While I figure out how to tell him.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks, oppa,” she gave him a kiss on the cheek before lightly pushing him in the direction of the door, “now go! I have a song to finish!”

She shook her head fondly while Jimin left her studio with a laugh. She had almost forgotten what it was like to have him around teasing her about things like boys or just her growing up. It was pretty nice.

She pulled out her phone, fingers automatically typing on her keypad as if they went on autopilot. She read the message she had typed down in her drafts.

Remember when you said whenever I’m ready? I am.

She shook her head before shutting her phone and tossing it into her bag. Telling him over text would be weird. She should save it for when they actually see each other in person.

For now, she shook the thought put of her head and turned back to her work.

She definitely wasn’t expecting Mark to call her over the next day.

She found herself commuting to the Lee siblings dorm after school because Mark had called her that morning to hang out for a bit. The timing was impeccable. Maybe it was the universe telling her to actually tell Mark as soon as possible?

“Hey, Little Star,” Mark greeted her the moment he opened the door.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Little Star?”

“I thought it was appropriate,” he smiled as he took her backpack from her, “with you being a tiny international superstar and your second name meaning star in Latin. It’s still so strange to me how you and Hannah have second names.”

“Been doing research on me, I see,” she laughed as she took off her shoes and followed him into the living room. “Are those cookies I smell?”

“Hannah made some before she left for practice,” he placed a plate of cookies on the coffee table. ���I set these aside for you. The rest went to, well, the seventeen other members. That is if Taeyong hyung and Ten hyung don’t eat it all during Baby Don’t Stop polishing.”

She smiled at him in thanks and quickly took one. She could feel his eyes watching her while his leg bounced a little bit. Her mind was working fast trying to seem casual while trying to figure out the right timing to tell him.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he began, “how have you been? Last you told me, everything was resolved, yeah?”

“Everything’s good.” she nodded. “To be honest, it’s still a little tense sometimes, but we’re working through it. I’m just happy now that it’s all been talked out properly.”

“If you eat all the cookies I saved for you then maybe you’d be even happier,” Mark smiled at her from where he was sitting down by her feet. Yoonmi sat up and smiled at him. She took the cookie that Mark handed her, noting how he looked a little bit nervous.

“Oppa, you’re being more awkward than you usually are,” Yoonmi noted as she plopped down next to him on the floor instead of the couch.

“No I’m not,” Mark retorted before processing the whole of her statement, “wait, hey! I’m not awkward.”

“Okay,” she laughed while taking a bite of a cookie. “Oh my God, these are amazing.”

“Hannah’s been working on her recipe,” Mark said.

“It’s so nice of her to bake you guys these so early in the morning” Yoonmi said as she took another bite.

“Please, she was just excited about me officially asking you to be my girlfriend.”

They both froze at the statement. Yoonmi turned to look at Mark whose eyes had grown wide in shock at his own statement. Did she hear him right? He was asking her to be his girlfriend? Did he read her mind?

“Oh shit umm,” Mark fumbled with the plate of cookies, “I mean— uhhh— This really isn’t turning out the way I wanted it to. I just saw your message yesterday and got her help to plan this out...”

Wait, message?

“My message?” she asked him and pulled put her phone, checking the messages. “I didn’t send you a message— oh.”

She had indeed messaged him. She must have accidentally hit send when she shut off her phone. It died before she got to the dorms, so she must have not noticed she sent it.

“Sorry,” she apologized, “I didn’t mean to. No! I did mean it! I just— I meant to say it in person rather than through text.”

“No, it’s fine,” Mark shook his hands. “It gave me time to kinda just put this together.”

She watched as he reached into the pile of cookies and pulled out possibly one of the smallest boxes she had ever seen. Or maybe it was just small compared to Hannah’s giant cookies. He handed it to her, and, on autopilot, her hand accepted the box. Yoonmi pulled the box’s cover off to find the smallest ziplock bag she had ever seen with a slip of paper and what looks like a small necklace. She looked at Mark even more confused.

“Open it,” Mark quietly instructed while rubbing at the back of his neck, shyer at her lack of verbal response.

Yoonmi gently placed the box down on the coffee table after pulling out the box’s contents. She took a little while to admire the necklace. It was a small “m” with little pale pink gems encrusted on it hanging on a thin silver chain. She unfolded the paper, eyes widening at what it said.

I told you I’d wait. I still like you a lot. Will you be my girlfriend? Officially?

“So?” Mark shyly asked her, “I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought I should ask you this since we’ve already told each other about how we feel last year, and we’ve been going out a lot, just the two of us. I mean, I’m more sure of my feelings now, and I thought maybe we could go up the ladder and actually become boyfriend and girlfriend now. It’s okay if you changed your mind and wanna stay friends, I mean—“

Yoonmi cut off Mark’s rambling by pressing a kiss to his cheek. Mark stopped and looked at Yoonmi while raising a hand to his cheek.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend,” she giggled at him. Mark grinned and pulled Yoonmi into a hug. This, of course, somehow resulted in the spilling of cookies all over the carpet.

“Oh, sorry,” Mark laughed, “I’ll clean this up. But first.”

She watched as he took the necklace from her hand and placed it around her neck.

“My heart is beating too fast right now,” Yoonmi laughed as Mark leaned back to admire the necklace he got her. She watched him hold his arm up and saw a little sparkle on his wrist. He, of course, had a bracelet with a similar charm except with white gems instead of pale pink.

“Mine, too,” Mark agreed. His face turned a little worried. “Now we just have to tell your members.”

“What about the rest of NCT?”

“They don’t need to know just yet, unless you want to be ambushed by 17 boys.”

She laughed a little then smiled at him. His feelings never changed, and neither did hers. Despite them deciding not to be official yet, the feelings never left even after over a whole year. There was a short moment of comfortable silence before the two looked down at the carpet then at each other.

“We should really clean this up,” she laughed.

Mark just shook his head and pulled her into another hug. “Let me bask in the fact that you’re my Little Star now.”

Yoonmi laughed but hugged him back. “I knew something was up when you made me a new nickname.”

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕒𝕕𝕧𝕚𝕔𝕖❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi decides to look for comfort and advice from someone who isn’t directly affected by the group’s dilemma

⇢ set on november 12, 2017

⇢ just a note from me, something really important in yoonmi’s life is december of 2017, but i won’t be writing about it directly out of respect for jonghyun and because i’m also still quite sensitive about the situation. for now, though, here’s jonghyun in his wise and caring nature

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ signs of panic attacks, jonghyun (please don’t read if you can’t)

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

“Hey,” Jonghyun opened the door and let Yoonmi in his place, “I thought you were going to America tomorrow.”

Yes, she was supposed to be resting before her flight. She was supposed to be back at the dorms. She was supposed to be with the boys. She was supposed to be in a group that stuck together. She was supposed to promote with them all the way until the end. She was supposed to have all seven of her members want to stay together like they promised her.

Her knees gave in, and she broke down right in the doorway.

“Oh no,” Jonghyun knelt in front of her and pulled her into a hug. “Come here. What’s wrong?”

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to say almost everything was wrong, but she couldn’t. Only nonsense came out of her mouth, words distorted by how hard she had been crying. It was too much for her. She had been holding it in for a little over a month.

Jonghyun silently comforted her, a hand gently rubbing her back.

It took nearly twenty minutes before he managed to calm her down and get her breathing back to normal. Though she wasn’t asleep, she stayed completely still, a stark difference from how much she had been shaking.

She let the older boy pull her up and walk her over to the couch.

“Stay right there,” he instructed. “I’ll go get you a cup of water.”

She nodded and watched Jonghyun go into his kitchen. His dog, Roo, made her way up into her lap and nuzzled her head into Yoonmi’s stomach. It was as if the puppy knew she needed comforting. Her hands instinctively went down from tugging at her own hair to playing with Roo’s fur.

“Thank you,” she said under her breath when Jonghyun gave her a cup of water. “I’m sorry for breaking down on you like that.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry for that,” he gave her a comforting smile and sat on the couch next to her. “Don’t feel sorry for expressing emotions. But what’s got you like this?”

She hesitated, fingers tugging a little too tight at Roo’s fur. Yoonmi immediately let go of the puppy in surprise of her own actions.

“I’m sorry,” she gently stroked Roo’s fur, avoiding eye contact with Jonghyun. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she tried to formulate the words to explain. “Oppa, have you ever— I mean, as Shinee…”

“Problem in the group?” he asked. “I could message Onew hyung. He’d have more advice as a leader.”

“He hasn’t been picking up my calls for the past few months,” she trailed off.

“Right,” Jonghyun nodded. “If I remember correctly, he doesn’t want to drag you into his scandal by having people see you with him.”

“Those people know nothing,” she huffed.

Jonghyun chuckled. “No, they don’t. Come on, Yoonmi. What’s got you all shaken up?”

“They want to disband,” she whispered under her breath. If Jonghyun was shocked, he didn’t show it. He held out his hand, which she took while continuing. “Something about leaving while we’re at the peak instead of fading away. I don’t understand.”

A stray tear spilled out of the corner of her eye.

Jonghyun wiped it away. “Did you talk to your brothers about this?”

“Yoonsung oppa doesn’t know,” she shook her head. Her voice was wavering, “and Channie oppa’s worried about keeping his team complete without JYP eliminating anyone.”

She closed her eyes in an attempt to stop her tears. Roo lifted her head in confusion when Yoonmi’s hands left her fur to rub her eyes. Yoonmi could feel the lump forming in her throat again, and her breathing was getting shallow. Her chest got heavy, and her head was starting to spin.

Jonghyun lifted her hand that was holding his and placed it on his chest. “Listen to me, Yoonmi. Follow my breathing. Don’t let this consume you. Keep your mind here, okay? Can you tell me about anything right now? How was working with Seo Taiji sunbaenim? You haven’t told us about that yet.”

“He,” she paused, gasping a little while trying to control her breathing. “He was really sweet. He complimented us a lot, and he let me call him dad during our preparations. He keeps in touch every now and then and asks me to call him either uncle or dad.”

“That’s great,” he stroked her hair. She was pretty sure he was pertaining to how she stayed conscious and kept her breathing as steady as she could. “Keep going. How about the performances.”

“We learned a new dance style,” she commented. “It was old school, like how Hobi oppa used to show us when we were trainees. It reminded me of our start as a hiphop-centric group. Oppa, they promised me it would be us from start to end, why are they leaving me behind like this?”

Tears flowed freely down her face. Jonghyun gently nudged Roo off of Yoonmi’s lap and pulled her onto his for a hug. Her tears drenched his shirt as she clung onto his sleeves.

“I don’t want to disband,” she gasped out. “I don’t want to leave them. I don’t want them to leave! They promised me until the end!”

Jonghyun shushed her. This was new to him. He had seen her upset before, silent tears or a sulking mood, but he had never seen her completely break down like this. Well, not since 2015.

“It’s okay,” Jonghyun reassured her. “No matter what happens, you know they aren’t leaving you. They care about you so much more than any of your Shinee oppas do, and none of us are leaving you. What more them?”

“They said we’d be Bangtan until the end,” she whispered.

He sighed, wondering how he could say this without triggering her. “Have you ever considered that this could possibly be the end?”

Her head snapped up as she looked at him in disbelief. He just cradled her face and wiped the tears away.

“I don’t mean the end of your friendship,” he told her. “I mean the end of the group. Personally, I think you guys can still reach higher points. But, to them, maybe this is the end they want. This doesn’t mean they won’t keep taking care of you or being your family.”

“I’m just scared they’ll leave me behind like,” she didn’t finish her words, looking down to avoid eye contact once again.

“Those people were horrible human beings that don’t deserve you,” he pulled her to his chest. “The boys aren’t like that. If anything, they’ll probably fight over who gets your attention the most. One thing’s for sure. Even if you do disband, they aren’t leaving you. Ever.”

“For real?”

“For real,” he nodded. “Do me a favor, Yoonmi? Don’t fight with them. Make the most of your time with them as a group, okay? God knows how tense your promotions must be now if you guys are divided.”

She let that sink in. Maybe she had been too tough both on herself and her members. She didn’t like being upset with them, and, if they really were disbanding, this might be their last time promoting together. If it had to end, she wanted it to end on a good note.

She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the door slamming open.

“I’m here! We need to catch u— WHO MADE MY LITTLE SISTER CRY?”

Yoonmi was shocked to hear Key’s voice at the door. She looked at Jonghyun who just shrugged at her.

“I messaged the group chat when you messaged me you were coming,” he explained. “He’s the least busy one.”

“No, no, honey,” Key approached her and squished her cheeks. “You shouldn't be hurt! Come on, let’s get that makeup off. We are going to pamper you before we ship you off back to your dorm.”

She watched as Key opened his bag and rummaged around it before heading to Jonghyun's bathroom to check his skincare things. She exchanged a look with Jonghyun.

“It’ll be fine,” he told her while tilting his head to his room. “I’ve got a pretty good birthday gift for you, and maybe it’ll come to good use when you go to America.”

(She got ready to leave the next day, a new brown knitted cardigan on top of her outfit. Taehyung looked at her curiously, tilting his head.

“That’s a new sweater,” he noted. “Why are you in a skirt?”

“Jonghyun oppa’s early birthday present,” she smiled. “Oh, and I like skirts.”

“Did Key hyung fight him and say he has a better gift again?”

Her laugh was all the confirmation Taehyung needed.)

[ggukkiedae]

can't believe i'm requesting this cause i love yoonmi but... encounter with sasaeng fan who's obsessed with her 🥺

oh i gotchu hun 🥰 alsjdj but yeah yoonmi has experienced multiple sasaeng encounters, some way worse than others. this is just one of them.

italic conversations are in english, and this takes place in 2017! the bangtan boys aren’t really here bc it happened in school soooo

WARNING: stalker, a tiny bit of blood, sasaeng getting too close to yoonmi

guys, a reminder: sasaeng behavior is not good. idols don’t deserve to feel the fear and discomfort that sasaengs give them

“I’ll be back by half-past eight,” Yoongi told Yoonmi as she unbuckled herself from her seat and adjusted her uniform.

“Got it,” she smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the car. “See you later, oppa!”

“Have fun at the fair!”

She raced right into the school grounds and looked for any one of her friends. She spotted a familiar mop of ash purple hair similar to hers and grinned. She rushed over and attacked him in a hug.

“Hwi!”

Daehwi screamed a little, eyes widening when he saw who had almost tackled him to the floor. He immediately hugged her back.

“Yoonmi, you’re back!” he cheered while squishing her.

She giggled. “We’re on a short break from tour, so I decided to come to school.”

“Only you would say that,” Daehwi rolled his eyes at her. “But damn I’m glad. It sucks enough when Haechan hyung hogs you in class, but it’s more boring when you aren’t here.”

“Don’t lie, I know you like spending time with the JYP trainee in the practical dance department.”

“I’ve got to tell Hannah to stop making it sound like gossip.”

Just then, there was a shout that caused both students to jump and look towards the open grounds.

“Must be the horror house,” Yoonmi pondered.

“Who the hell even makes a horror house in September? No way am I going in there.”

“Well, looks like we’re having a Hwimi day today then,” she looped her arm through his. “Let’s go look at the games!”

The two friends rushed off in laughter. Neither of them noticed the small scuffle at the school gates with someone apparently trying to break in.

The day was well spent between the two friends. They even called Somi at some point, but she was busy filming something and couldn’t go visit them.

There were, however, multiple instances throughout the day that seemed strange to her.

The first was when she was waiting in line to buy corndogs for herself and Daehwi, as well as Hannah who had somehow lost her group mates but found the two 01 liners. She could feel someone staring at her. She looked around to see who, but Hannah blocked her vision before she could.

“I got Daehwi to buy us smoothies,” she grinned before going into a story about the most recent time she, jaemin, and jeno skipped class by accident.

A figure across the field frowned slightly. He couldn’t get her alone. Why did other people have to hang around her so much?

The next was in the photobooth. She and Daehwi had decided to go for three rounds to get six photos for each of them. They went out to grab their photos, but there was one missing. The one that had two photos of just her and two photos of just Daehwi.

“That’s strange,” Daehwi looked up the place where the photos print. “I’m pretty sure that was the second round one, so it can’t possibly have gotten stuck up here, right?”

“Maybe there was a malfunction?” she asked.

“Maybe,” Daehwi shrugged. “Come on, let’s go watch the show. I think the practical dance students are doing a whole story through their performances.”

They walked away, missing how Daehwi’s photos of just him sat by the back of the photobooth they used, Yoonmi’s photos gone as if someone tore them apart.

The third was during the dance department’s show. Daehwi had snuck off to who knows where, something about doing someone a favor, and left her to save his seat which was right next to the aisle. Someone took the seat next to her, and she jumped.

“Excuse me,” she began quietly, “my friend is sitting here. He’ll be back soon.”

“Oh, my mistake,” the guy told her before smiling at her then moving to sit on the free seat a few rows behind her.

She tilted her head in confusion. Sure, she wasn’t around school as often as she could, but she’s never seen that guy before. It was unsettling to her.

She bit her lips nervously while waiting for Daehwi to come back. They were chapped. She went to take her lip balm from her bag, but she couldn’t find it anywhere. She squeaked when Daehwi sat next to her and handed her a water bottle.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” she muttered. “I just can’t find my lip balm. Do you have one?”

Daehwi gave one to her right from his pocket. The person a few rows away applied lip balm with a frown. He was the only one who should share lip balm with her.

Throughout the whole dance show, she could see Daehwi constantly looking down to his phone with a grin. She was going to ask him about it, but he suddenly gave her a playful grin.

“We have to go,” he told her while pulling her up. “Room 302, quick.”

They ran up the stairs, not noticing the way a third figure followed them.

Daehwi brought her into the room and had her sit on one of the desks. He told her to wait and ran out the door and to the classroom just a few feet away.

Yoonmi was confused. She was watching the dances peacefully but was dragged off by Daehwi. She swung her legs back and forth, waiting for Daehwi to come back, when she heard the door swing open.

It was the same guy from earlier.

She felt a chill go up her spine when he walked into the room. The way he smiled somehow felt very off to her.

“Oh, um,” she stuttered a little, “Hi. My friend and I are going to use this room, so if you could kindly step—“

“I don’t care,” the guy smiled at her.

She froze. He walked closer to her, and she saw his name tag. Yoon Hyunseung. Her eyes widened. The uniform had the same ice cream stain on it from when she ran into him earlier that day, but the man in front of her was not her classmate.

“Who are you,” she stood up shakily, hand sneaking behind her to look for something to defend herself with, “and where’s Hyunseung?”

“He had to go to the hospital because of an unfortunate accident,” the man shrugged, trying to seem innocent. “He lent me his uniform so I could come and see you. I missed you while you were on tour, Miya. I told you I’d visit you soon.”

Yoonmi’s breath hitched in her throat. The last two sentences... Those were the words written on an envelope that was sent to her that the members had kept her from opening.

She tried to run out the door on her side, but he gripped her shoulders and kept her in place. She screamed, but he covered her mouth with his hand.

“Don’t scream, Miya,” he whispered through a chuckle while running a finger down her cheek. “It’s just me.”

She wanted to put her jiujitsu training to use, but the remorseless and almost psychotic look in his eyes froze her and made her forget any technique.

“Get off of her!”

She could hear the desks being pushed aside while someone grabbed the man off of her and pushed him roughly to the side. She watched the man’s head hit the corner of the podium where the teacher usually stood for lectures.

She frantically looked at the person who came and nearly let out a sigh of relief. She rushed forward to hug the familiar face. It was Haechan.

“Are you okay?” he asked her, a hand settling on the back of her head. She nodded, but she was still shaking slightly. “Daehwi went to call people, don’t worry.”

She looked up and saw the man getting up, hand on his bleeding head and a glare at her friend who was still holding on to her. Her body tensed, and she panicked. It seemed like he was about to lunge for Haechan.

In a split second, she made a decision.

She pried herself from Haechan’s hold then somehow was able to get a hold of the man’s torso just as he lunged forward. Body moving on its own from her training, she was able to grapple the man down, and he hit his head on on the podium again.

She stood up and backed away. The man was bleeding even more, and it looked like he was about to pass out. She looked at her hands in fear. She had made him bleed harder.

“Hey,” Haechan pulled her into a hug, keeping the guy out of her line of vision while bringing them outside. “It’s okay. I know you never wanted to use your training on people, but it was for your safety.”

“I hurt him,” she muttered. “I hurt him. He’s bleeding. I made a person bleed.”

Haechan shushed her. “He was already bleeding before you got to him. It’s okay. He could have tried to hurt you or kidnap you or do something to you against your will.”

He glanced into the room and saw the man basically passed out. When there were no signs of him moving or getting up, he looked at the girl who was shaking in his arms.

“Sorry for calling you out here,” he apologized. “This wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t.”

“It’s not your fault,” she hugged him tighter. “I got a sasaeng letter when we got back, and I think it’s from him. I think he’s been following me the while day, too.”

The sound of multiple footsteps running towards them made her flinch. Haechan turned her body away from the direction they were coming from only to relax when he saw who was there. Daehwi had come back with Jeno, Jaemin, and Hannah.

“Yoonmi!” Hannah gasped.

She ran forward and placed a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. Yoonmi looked up and saw Hannah. She moved to give the older girl a hug.

“You’re good,” Hannah whispered. “We called Yoongi oppa, and he’s on his way.”

“I tried to get Mark hyung and Jihoon hyung, but they were on stage when I got there,” Daehwi breathed out.

“What happened?” Jeno asked. Jaemin tried to look over Haechan’s shoulder, but he shifted to block the door a little further.

“Sasaeng,” Haechan frowned. “Jeno, can you watch the door to the other side of the room? He’s knocked out inside, but we can never be too sure. Jaemin, can you go to Yoonmi and remind her that he can’t get to her with us here? Daehwi, look out for the security.”

Jeno nodded and rushed over to the other door. Daehwi ran to the staircase and looked down. Jaemin stayed a little.

“Knocked out?”

“I think,” Haechan began. ��I shoved him, and he fell, then I think Yoonmi got a surge of adrenaline and grappled him, then he hit his head again. I’m just glad I was able to come in time.”

“Why were you here anyway?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Haechan shrugged while looking back at Yoonmi.

“You know what,” Jaemin told him, “You were here when it happened. You can probably comfort her better. I’ll watch the door. Now go there before Hannah accidentally smothers the poor girl.”

Haechan just nodded and headed over to the two girls.

Jaemin looked in through the glass window on the door, eyes narrowed. Nobody deserved to experience anything like that, especially not Yoonmi.

[ggukkiedae]

Heyy if you aren’t too sick of writing about the yoonmi ssaesang incident at sopa, it would be rlly interesting to see yoongi talking to yoonmi about seeing a therapist and maybe even taking her to her first appointment? Thank you, hopefully this is ok :)

hi hun 🥰 no worries, i’m not sick of it! i’m actually planning on combining everything into one post just because aksjdhf anyway, i gotchu hun of course it’s okay!

Yoongi sat in the living room at six in the morning. He had woken up way too early, and he decided going back to sleep was almost pointless. The living room couch was a good change of scenery considering he’d been sitting in bed thinking for hours.

“Oppa?”

Yoongi’s head snapped around at the sound of Yoonmi’s small voice. She had shyly exited her and jungkook’s room and made her way towards him. He waited for her to approach him first just in case, and she did. She sat right next to him, tucking herself under his arm and resting her head on his shoulder.

“Why are you up?” he asked her.

“Nightmare,” she mumbled. “I’ve been up for hours, but I didn’t want to wake anyone. I heard noises from the kitchen just now, so I checked.”

Yoongi sighed and placed his coffee mug on the table in front of them. He pulled her legs over his and lightly ruffled her hair.

“You’ll be fine, princess,” he reassured her. “Namjoon and Taeyong have been discussing. This whole thing might have been too much for you and Haechan. We think it would be best if you two take a few sessions with a therapist.”

He could feel Yoonmi tense up. He wrapped her in a hug, lightly rubbing her back. The fact that she didn’t really like opening up like that to strangers isn’t a secret. She had trouble making close friends in recent years because opening up became a lot harder for her.

“You’ll be right there with Haechan, okay?” he told her. “You won’t be alone. We can ask them if one of us can sit in as well, if you like.”

Yoonmi thought about it for a while before nodding.

Two days later, she found herself in the backseat of Sejin’s car, Yoongi in the driver’s seat. They were waiting outside the NCT dorms.

Yoonmi stared out the window, still wondering if she was going to be able to go through with this whole therapy thing. She didn’t even notice she was tugging on her hair until Yoongi reached back and pulled her hand away.

“You’ll be fine, princess,” he told her once again. “They agreed that either Taeyong or I can sit in with you guys, and you’ll have Haechan right there for sure. Look, here they come now.”

Yoonmi scooted over to the other side so Haechan could get in the car next to her. taeyong made his way to the passenger’s seat, a little confused at the sight of Yoongi there instead of Namjoon.

“Namjoon can’t drive,” Yoongi clarified as he started moving.

“Hey,” Haechan poked Yoonmi’s arm, “miss me?”

She smiled at his somewhat sullen attempt at a joke as the two elders in the front began their own conversation. “I think you missed me more.”

“You wish,” he chuckled in response. “Are you ready?”

She sighed. Her members have been preparing her for this and encouraging her. They’ve been telling her that opening up to the therapist would be okay, and nothing would be taken against her. She looked at the NCT boy next to her and smiled.

“I think so. You might have to hold my hand if Yoongi oppa doesn’t sit in with us, though.”

“I can do that.”

[ggukkiedae]

Heyyy since it’s V’s birthday, can we maybe see yoonmi & taetae tweets? Or maybe a short scenario displaying their bond? 👉👈

I also just saw but congrats on 400! 💜

thank you so much! 🥺🥺🥺 and ack im late on this im sorry akdjdjf i was with my family yesterday 🤧

but anyway, here’s a little taemi drabble bc tae’s birthday just passed! hope you enjoy 🥰

this is set around 2017 (not an important detail but i wanted to say it aksjf)

Yoonmi quietly snuck out of her room, hoping everyone was still asleep. She wanted to go out to the park real quick and watch the sun rise, but she didn’t want to disturb anyone. That’s why she was sneaking out if the dorm at five in the morning.

“Where are you going?”

Yoonmi jumped when she heard the deep voice. She turned and saw Taehyung eating a bowl of cereal on the couch.

“To the park...” she trailed off, “but— Wait, oppa, why are you awake?”

“I got hungry,” he shrugged before taking the last spoonful and placing his empty bowl on the coffee table. “Can I come with?”

Yoonmi immediately nodded, a grin growing on her face. “Let’s go watch the sun rise!”

Taehyung laughed and pulled on his own jacket and taking her hand.

That’s how she found herself on a swing, Taehyung lightly pushing her from behind. The sunset wasn’t due for another ten minutes, so they sat in silence. Yoonmi turned her head slightly to catch a glimpse of Taehyung. He was only six years older than her, but it felt almost as if he was her parent. Especially now that he’s matured quite a lot.

“Got something on your mind, kiddo?” he asked her.

“Nothing much,” she shrugged, the smallest smile taking over her features. “Sometimes I just forget you’re not actually like fifteen years older than me or something.”

Taehyung laughed. “I know I’m twenty-three, but I’m not that old yet!”

“What I mean is,” Yoonmi clarified with a giggle, “you’ve taken care of me like you’re my parent.”

Taehyung sighed then sat on the grass in front of her. He set his jacket down before lying down on it. He patted his extended arm, inviting her down next to him. She obliged and rested her head on his arm.

“You were such a tiny thing back then,” Taehyung poked her nose. “You’re still small now, but you were like a literal baby when I first met you. The protective instinct kicked in. Then you told me about your parents at the time, and the feeling amplified. You were so stiff back then, so I wanted you to play like an actual kid. And you do, now that we’ve pushed them aside. Does that explain why I’m like this?”

“Very much,” she smiled up at him before turning to the sky.

Taehyung watched her while she closed her eyes and picked at the grass on her other side. He laughed and pulled her closer to him, making her squeal.

“Don’t think so deep about it,” he pretended to scold her while poking her stomach. “Be the carefree kid you should be while you still can!”

“Okay, okay,” she cried out, fits of giggles escaping her. “Just stop tickling me! We’re gonna miss the sky changing colors!”

As if the world was listening to them, a golden light was cast on them, and the sky grew warm. Taehyung quickly pulled both of them up then went behind the swing.

“Sit, aegi. I’m gonna take pictures.”

She smiled. He always did. She looked at him getting his phone ready and sat on the swing facing him. He got a ground to catch both her and the sky. She laughed at him.

“You’re doing more than you need to,” she giggled, double meaning just the slightest bit obvious. “Thank you.”

“Forever and always, aegi,” he promised her.

[ggukkiedae]

Hiiii! Could I request for a Yoonmi Fluff (no. 5)? I imagine it being with all of the BTS members jealous of whoever would be hogging Yoonmi’s attention? 🥺

of course!!! here you go 🥰 i apologize if it isnt up to standard aksfjhf i got my monthly life wrecker and my cramps are killing me 😪

this is set in late may of 2018~

prompt: “OH you’re jealous!”

Yoonmi waved off the two Wanna One members as she stepped inside her dorm door. “Thanks for driving me back, Ong oppa. I’ll catch you guys tomorrow for your concert’s rehearsal!”

“No problem,” Seongwoo told her.

“You better not be late,” Daehwi jokingly warned her.

She laughed and rolled her eyes at that before waving one last time and closing the door. She took her shoes off and placed them in the cupboard containing hers and Jungkook’s shoes then went straight towards their shared room.

“I’m home,” she called. No one answered her.

That was strange. She was used to at least two of the boys coming up to her and asking about her day. Something was off. She tilted her head a little in apprehension.

She smiled as she walked into her and Jungkook’s room, mouth open and ready to greet him and ask him about his day, but he brushed right past her and out the door. Her heart did a steep drop at that.

She quickly removed her coat and placed her bag on her bed before racing out the door and into the living room. None of them were there. She then went for Yoongi and Seokjin’s room, hoping to ask either one of them if they knew where Jungkook was. Instead, she found all seven members sitting there and playing some card game. She sighed in relief and settled next to Yoongi.

“So you guys were in here,” she said. “I thought you all disappeared somewhere, which is admittedly strange for this time of the night.”

There was a dry response. She gat a few nods and one sound of acknowledgement from Hoseok, but that was it. Her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Yoongi sighed next to her. “No, you didn’t. How were the Wanna One boys?”

“They’re great!” Yoonmi practically lit up at Yoongi asking her about how the day went.

She went into a little spiel of what happened and how proud she was of the eleven boys, especially Daehwi. It took her a short while, but she could see the faces of her member gradually get grimmer the more she talked about her day’s schedule. She’d recognize that look anywhere, mostly because she had seen it on her boyfriend’s face before. She realized what what was happening and cut herself off with an uncontrolled giggle.

“Oh,” she started. “Oooh you’re jealous! You’re all actually jealous?”

“No,” there was an immediate response from Jungkook. “Jealous? Ha! Why would we be jealous? There’s nothing to be jealous about. It’s not like we’ve barely seen you these past few days and every time we see you, you talk about the Wanna One boys or anything like that. Not jealous.”

There was a moment of silence before a collective groan filled the air. Her giggled turned into full laughter. Jimin was hitting Jungkook’s arm while Namjoon and Seokjin were telling him off for exposing them. She nuzzled her cheek against Yoongi’s shoulder for a bit before crawling across the floor and inserting herself in between Jungkook and Taehyung, looping her arms through theirs.

“Sorry, Yoonmi,” Hoseok began with a sheepish smile. “We’re so used to having you work that much with just us, so I guess we couldn’t help it.”

“Don’t worry, oppas,” she smiled brightly at them. “I would work with you guys over other groups any day if I had to choose, don’t worry.”

“Good,” Jungkook said while wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on too of her head. Taehyung pinched her cheeks and kissed the back of her hand. She was suddenly in a fit of giggles once again.

“I can’t believe you guys were actually jealous.”

“You’re our makdungie,” Yoongi reminded her. “Of course we’d be at least a little possessive, princess.”

[ggukkiedae]

Love Yourself: Her Era

Visuals:

purple hair again aksjdh bighit likes giving her purple hair

but it’s like a dark ash purple

her styling was much more casual and playful, so everyone loved it

a lot of denim shorts and skirts (and cargo pants for mic drop)

she grew from 5 flat to 5’2! so the company just kept her baby image by putting her in normal sneakers rather than her usual heels mostly

but she did perform in heels every now and then

her mic drop styling though

the baby is maturing 🤧

Album Credits:

Production: dimple, pied piper, mic drop, go go,

lyrics: dna, best of me, dimple, pied piper, mic drop, go go, outro: her

choreography: pied piper, best of me, go go

Outside of bangtan: Wanna One (Energetic, Wanna Be (My Baby), Always, Beautiful, Twilight, Gold, I Promise You, Boomerang, Day by Day), SMStation with NCT’s Hannah (Velvet),

Line Distribution

MV:

DNA

this is a dance centric video, sooooo it’s mostly just

for her little dance bit with jungkook, the camera spins around them like they’re a planet and it’s a moon

she had a little cut with namjoon during their back and forth

there are some solo shots every now and then but they’re mostly like close ups of her face

MIC DROP

same case as dna, it’s a dance centric video

starts with her on the table, hobi high fives her, climbs up, then jumps of the other side

the bridge part though when they were in an all white place with the old cars

she was sitting on the hood of a car and it slowly zoomed in while she spoke and slowly got off

Highlight Reels:

first one

her part had her in a uniform walking down a sidewalk looking through her school notes

she paused near the intersection where it showed the boy looking at her curiously

she looked up when motorcycles started passing by, and almost walked right onto the street like she was in a daze

the boy grabbed her arm to keep her from from getting run over and that’s when the stoplight changed

“are you okay?” “yes, sunbae, i’m sorry”

it showed her bowing to him in apology then rushing away, going back to her notes

second one

it showed the boy arriving at her classroom, leaning against her desk, and tilting his head towards the door with a grin

it flashes back to when jungkook did the same thing in the epilogue for hyyh before changing to the boy again

she smiles nostalgically and picks up her bag, taking the boy’s hand

it cuts to him pulling her out of school and running along the streets outside

it cuts to her running and laughing with the boys in the hyyh epilogue

third one

it shows the boy helping her sneak back into her house at night

she waves bye through the window but turns around to find her “parents” there

they get mad and she rolls her eyes, smashes a glass jar nearby and takes the keys that were in it

she gets on her motorcycle in the garage and drives away, ignoring her yelling “parents”

there are clips of her speeding

she sees the boy by a bus stop and just pulls over in front of him and removes her helmet

he’s surprised

and the last clip of her is her throwing her helmet on the ground and looking like she was about to cry

fourth one

(which is just the first three combined with some extra bit)

the only clips she appeared in were the clips from hyyh era

Iconic Moments:

highlight reels!

like literally armys simping over haechan in her highlight reel like they were over the girls but also uwuing over their friendship in the behind vlogs bighit and sm posted

and armys simping over her bc she got to drive a motorcycle in them (not hers bc privacy and safety reasons)

heechul talking about how often she visits smtown while bts is on knowing brother

also heechul showing of the bucket hat she got him

basically just heechul with yoonmi on knowing brother

meeting james corden and her accent just got stronger 🤧

her badass vibes during mama

she trended for looking like an angel during their mma stage

the wings tour final stages there was just something different about her energy back then

she (together with yeri) got backlash for crying during the golden disc awards

when she seemed angrier during their seoul music awards performance

when she proved that she doesn’t lipsync by skipping a line then going “sue it”

when she was constantly showing her support to haechan hannah and mark during nct 2018

her mini japan tour with daehwi (feat. legal guardian jungkook)

her vlog while helping wanna one record for their albums

when people saw her on the Stray Kids survival show and realized she was close to chan

when she released a station with Hannah that was actually quite mature

a bad iconic moment: when it was leaked that she cancelled her solo comeback for february 2018

burn the stage in general? armys were able to understand her as more of a normal kid rather than just the miya they saw on screen or on stage

[ggukkiedae]

Yoonmi’s Line Dsitributions in

Love Yourself: Her

DNA

“Urin wanjeon dalla, baby
Unmyeongeul chajanaen durinikka” (0:53-1:00)

“Taechoui DNA (DNA) ga neol wonhaneunde (Haneunde)

Igeon piryeoniya I love us (Love us)

Urimani true lovers (Lovers)” (1:39-1:47)

“Urin jeonsaengedo (Urin jeonsaengedo)

Ama daeum saengedo (Ama daeum saengedo)

Yeongwonhi hamkkenikka (DNA)” (2:24-2:30)

Best Of Me

“Haruharu

Yeoreum gaeoul

Neon mollado” (0:33-0:45)

“Neon naui guwon neon naui chang

Nan neoman isseumyeon dwae” (2:07-2:12)

“Biga naerideon na

Nuni naerideon na

Modeun bulhaengeul meomchugo

Cheongugeul deryeowa” (2:22-2:29)

“When you say that you love me

Nan geu han madimyeon dwae

Byeonhaji anhneundago

Just one more time” (3:33-3:40)

Pied Piper

“You can’t stop” (0:25-27)

“I’m takin’ over you” (1:40-1:42, 1:50-1:52, 3:35-3:37, 3:45-3:47)

“Geurae naega jom wiheomhae

Nado nareul gamdang moshae

Geokjeongma naui soneun

Neoegeman ttatteushae ttatteushae” (3:06-3:16)

Mic Drop

“World Business haeksim

Seoboe 1sunwi maejin

Manhji anhji i class gachil mankkik

Joheun hyanggie akchwin banchik

Mic mic bungee” (0:40-0:51)

“Daesinhaejwo niga moshan hyodo

Uri konseoteu jeoldae eopseo podo

I do it I do it neon maseopsneun rattattui

Hok baega apeudamyeon gosohae

Sue it” (1:03-1:13)

“Haters gon’ hate

Players gon’ play

Live a life man

Good luck” (3:03-3:17)

GoGo

“DOLLAR DOLLAR

Haruachime jeonbu tangjin

Dallyeo dallyeo naega beoreo naega sachi

Dallyeo dallyeo dallyeo dallyeo

Dallyeo dallyeo” (0:15-0:25)

Her

“Eojjaetteun nan nege choegoye namjagil wonhae

Ama dangyeonae neon naege i segye geu jacheyeotgie

Jugeul geomyeon kkok nawa gati jukgettadeon ttae

Niga wonhaneun naega doegiro

God I swore to myself

So many complex

But I'm lookin' for love

Gajja narado joa niga anajundamyeon

Neon naege shijagija gyeolmal jachenikka

Niga nal kkeutnaejura” (0:43-1:04)

“Neul geuraetteushi mask on

Hwanhoro nal bangyeojuneun her

Geudaemane byeol amu il eopshi bitnamyeonseodo

Gajang bitnaya hal shigane nan mask off

Lost star nae jimeul naeryeonwa eodumeul jeulgyeo

Jugil deushi sswadaeneun jomyeongdo eopseuni ye

Geujeo mam ganeun daero

Gam danneun daero, nal an jabneun daero

Tick tock” (2:41-3:00)

[ggukkiedae]

7/13 angst please! sorry if i didnt clarify that before

no problem luv! thanks for the request 🥰 here’s some more joonmi! except it doesn’t end in fluff aksjhdfh im sorryyyyyyy but here you go

italics indicate english conversations’

prompts: “Don’t you ever do that again!” “I’m worried about you.”

Yoonmi settled right by the Han river where she watched the water flow by. She always enjoyed watching water flow past all the rocks. It was like a reminder to just push past whatever was going on and to keep moving forward. She scoffed to herself at that thought.

“How am I supposed to move forward if they keep bringing that up?”

She kicked one of the rocks outside of the water but tripped and landed right on the ground. She heard someone call her name. She turned to the side and saw Namjoon running towards her with a worried expression. She just frowned and hugged her legs.

“Are you okay?” he asked her the moment he got there.

She didn’t answer. Namjoon knelt next to her and checked over her arms and legs just to make sure she wasn’t injured or hurt. She didn’t say anything, which she was pretty sure was the reason Namjoon looked a little disappointed. She hated it. He doesn’t have the right to be disappointed. Not after the conversation the group just had.

“Why are you here?” She asked him.

Namjoon surprisingly winced at her tone of voice. He’d seen her mad a total of two times in the seven years he’d known her before that month, but never did she sound as cold and mad as she did just then.

“I’m worried about you,” he told her.

“Oh, so now you’re worried about me? Not back in the conference room when I felt scared? Not when I could see you guys, my literal life, falling apart in front of me?”

Namjoon stared at her. She was speaking in English. That meant her emotions were just running free without a filter.

“You ran away, and you didn’t even have your phone or your bag on you.”

“That’s not the point!” Yoonmi looked Namjoon in the eye and glared. “You can’t just decide to do something like that! You’re our leader, and the most you say about this is we’ll think about it? We shouldn’t have to think about it! No is the only answer!”

“Yoonmi, listen to me!” Namjoon nearly yelled at her. “That’s not important right now.”

“Not important?!”

“Yoonmi, your safety is important! You ran away without having anything that could help us contact you. We called Chan and Yoonsung hyung. We called Haechan. We even called Onew hyung and Daehwi. We were all terrified. Don’t you ever do that again!”

“I don’t care,” Yoonmi stared back at him while shaking her head. “I don’t.”

Yoonmi stood up and slowly stepped backwards, away from Namjoon. She took a deep breath.

“I’m staying at Yoonsung oppa’s today,” she said. “I need some time to just— ugh. If anyone really really needs me, send Jungkook oppa. Or Taehyung oppa. Anyone that’s on my side. If not, I’ll be back in time for rehearsals in a few days.”

With that, she turned around and walked away from Namjoon. He watched her figure get smaller and further away before taking out his phone to message Jungkook. He’d at least get her some clothes plus her phone and wallet.