#yolanda is the worst liar

[faelanda]

Wait... was there a little cat? Why has nobody told me about it >:(

... I wanted to pet it too (´；д；｀)

[faelanda]

no that is not me >__<

i never bite i am a good fairy

i do not have rabies

The urge to just go into my moots dms like

"🥺 can I please bite? 🥺 May i bite? 🥺 Sir can I bite? 🥺Ma'am, just a lil bite? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?"

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Pack it Up

This is something based upon a headcanon that I have about Beth bringing lunch to Rick on a daily basis because she obviously likes stuff like that (she’s usually using food as a way of connecting with her parents when they’re distancing from her, and I see it as one of her love languages and also something that Rick needs, as pointed out in this post.) 

She had seen him do this before. Sometimes, he HAD lunch, but it was… lacking, to say the least, and some days, like today, he had nothing. He used to just vandalize the table or something whenever he didn’t have lunch, or skip and get into trouble at some point before the day was over. Rick had been turning over a new leaf, though and the things that he used to do to cope were no longer “how he is.” 

But, some things he COULDN’T change. That was definitely just two slices of bread and mayo. Like… she’d seen him have lettuce on a bun before. He’d barely eaten it, even though he was probably hungry. He wasn’t a small dude and teenagers had pretty significant appetites. But, he WAS somewhat of a proud dude, and still at times a tad bit… standoffish. She didn’t want to offend him. She didn’t want to presume that he didn’t have money or food or worse, to ASK him and make him mad.

So… she… decided to try to play it smart.

The first time was pretty simple, at least from her POV. She came into the lunchroom, where Yolanda and Rick were already sitting and talking. Court wasn't there yet. And Beth, making sure that she was noticed and heard, laughed as she came to the table. Yolanda jumped, a little startled by the sound and Rick narrowed his eyes, suspiciously, but followed it with a smile and a, "Something funny happen, Beth?" 

She gestured a finger towards her brain and commented, "Just realized that I left the house with TWO full lunches today!" She laughed more than was necessary and now Rick and Yolanda both looked at each other, u sure of where Beth was going with this. "I mean, what am I gonna do with an ENTIRE extra lunch? I can't eat them both."

"You can bring one home," Yolanda suggested, at the same time that Rick said,

"Just eat it later."

"OR!" she cut them off and pulled out the plastic container, "Rick… you look like you packed a light lunch today."

"I didn't pack lunch today."

"Well, what do you know. Maybe the universe DOES help things sometimes, because I very accidentally packed an extra one, as we've established!" She cheered and excitedly slid him a plastic container. Yolanda was still confused. Rick just shrugged and accepted. 

Beth felt good. In her mind, that went well. She didn't even notice the looks that Yolanda and Rick exchanged to indicate that she was being totally odd. 

Rick ate pretty eagerly and Beth felt proud of herself. He had needed that. She was sure of it. He hardly breathed as he shoved pasta salad and broiled chicken into his mouth. When he did stop to breathe, he put a hand over his belly, seemingly satisfied and offered her a smile as he picked up the dish to go clean it out and bring it back.

The next time… she thought it would be too much if she tried for the next day, which she ultimately hated, because he didn't have lunch again and he laid his head in his arms on the table while she couldn't make herself enjoy her own lunch and Yolanda and Courtney didn't seem to even… notice. But Yolanda DID ask, "You okay, Beth?" To which, Rick looked up, head still on his arms and Beth turned from him, sadly.

"Yeah. Just… not much of an appetite, I guess." She pushed her food to the center of the table, "if anybody wants this, I can get the container later. Gonna hit the library." 

Rick sat up and looked at the other girls before pulling it in his direction, with a shrug of his shoulders.

Yolanda and Courtney gave each other knowing smiles, but then glanced at Beth's back as she left the cafeteria. "Okay, so like… she's definitely feeding him on purpose, right?" Courtney asked.

"Absolutely," Yolanda said. 

"Why doesn't she just say that?"

"Probably worried that Grumpy's gonna be a meanie about it." 

"What?" Rick asked when he saw the two of them looking. "You want some?" 

"No," Yolanda said, laughing. 

Courtney texted Beth, "Hope you feel better soon. He ate it ALL." 

Beth smiled when she saw the message. At least one of them did. The next day, she'd be more prepared! She had a big breakfast and she packed a big lunch. Just ONE day of being hungry was far too much for her, and there was no way that she was gonna leave her friend in that condition again, even if it was just for a day. 

He had one of those struggle sandwiches. A bun with a slice of cheese. He didn't even have a drink! "Boy, oh boy!" She started. Yolanda snorted and buried her face in her hoodie. Rick looked exhausted already. "I guess not having lunch yesterday made me big eyed this morning. I had SUCH a big breakfast, I'm barely hungry today. If anybody wants some of this casserole, I definitely can't eat all of this myself." She was only looking at Rick and he stared back at her, incredulously.

"Is… that an entire casserole?" Yolanda asked, on the verge of tears from stifling her laughter.

"What? No! I mean… it's very close. Neither of my parents were home last night, so it's… like… I had like two helpings and this is the rest, so like… a whole casserole...ish…" Yolanda got up, "I have to pee…" she was snickering and practically cackled as she stopped to chat with Courtney on her way out.

"She's in a joyous mood today!" Beth said, turning back towards Rick. "Soooo… want… some?" 

He eyed her and she felt her core warming up. Was he suspicious? Was he about to call her bluff? Call her out? Go off on her? "If you had a large breakfast, why did you bring so much? This container is twice as big as the ones you usually pack."

"Oh! I… didn't plan on eating so much this morning and I just took the whole leftover container with me, since they let me use the appliances in the lounge… so… I didn't prep my lunch. I just grabbed the container and left…" he saw that she was nervous. He also knew, for sure, at this point that she was definitely lying.

But, he just said, "Okay." She split the container down the middle and passed him an extra fork. An extra fork from her bag. He didn't bother with why she had it. It was clear to him, by now. She'd been doing this all week long. 

Courtney and Yolanda came to the table together and Court exchanged glances with Rick, who rolled his eyes and looked back at his food. Beth was watching him. That's what she did when he ate. She watched him and felt better, knowing that he had at least one decent meal for the day. Whenever he'd glance at her, she'd smile and look down. 

"Yolanda, can I have some of your milk?" He asked. 

She handed it over, "Finish it," she said with a shrug. 

Beth made a mental note to remember to bring him a drink tomorrow. The last few swallows of a pint of milk was… not ideal.

They were all three at the table whenever she showed up the next day. Courtney and Yolanda perked up when she arrived while Rick slumped a little. She noticed, but she decided to presume that had nothing to do with her.

"Ohhhh, that looks appetizing," she said towards the trays that Yolanda and Courtney had. Yolanda's face said it all, but still, Beth persisted. "I may just skip my sandwich and go buy a tray today. Rick do you want a sand.."

"You've GOTTA stop this," he said, shaking his head and sitting up. "Beth, I'm not stupid. I know what you're doing. EVERYBODY here knows what you're doing!" Yolanda and Courtney looked nervous and a little sad as Beth sank into the seat, obviously feeling defeated. Rick smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Thank you. I appreciate it. Just PLEASE stop with the lies, you're terrible at it." Beth laughed and covered her face with a hand. "You're honestly like… the worst liar here." Yolanda nodded, laughing too. 

"I thought you'd be insulted if I mom-friended you at lunch, everyday. I didn't want to insult you."

"I'm not insulted. It's actually pretty sweet, but I mean… that's who you are. We're friends. There's no need to lie to me. And why would I turn down free meals? Especially good ones. Like, you never miss. What are we having today? Or… I mean, I'll take the tray if you were gonna buy a…"

"I was gonna buy one to keep my cover, but I absolutely have an additional lunch in my bag." They laughed and she pulled them out, "We've got pot roast sandwiches with side salads and a bought juice so you don't have to hydrate with Yolanda's milk backwash." She pulled out a carafe of juice and a cup. "I only have one cup, so you can have it and I'll… drink out of this…" she stared at the carafe and frowned.

"Would you feel better if you had the cup?"

"I really would. Drinking out of this thing seems very improper." He laughed and accepted the container, filling her cup as much as possible and pouring juice into his own mouth whenever he did drink, in case she wanted more in a little bit.

It was SO MUCH EASIER to just pack two lunches with no excuses and slide him one when she arrived in the cafeteria. And, everything went back to flowing smoothly without her trying to figure out an excuse. Yolanda and Courtney still gave the two of them looks that Beth didn't quite comprehend, though. Sometimes, Rick would notice and throw them an expression of his own that she couldn't quite place, either. They'd always look away, but with knowing smiles. Great. What the heck was it that they all seemed to know that she didn't THIS time? 

The looks she didn't notice - all those soft ones from Rick, when she wasn't paying attention. But the other girls noticed. They sure did.

[perfectly-twisted]

2017 TV Show Thoughts - Not Including Stranger Things Season 2

**Waiting until finals are over to watch season 2 of Stranger Things but I have a feeling it would’ve been/will be in my favorite category anyway because I LOVE the show

***THESE ARE MY OPINIONS FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE! Even if a show disappointed me this past season doesn’t mean I won’t still give it a chance in the future!

****For TV Show that aired over the Fall- I have not watched ANY of the new episodes/season with the exception of my #1 favorite tv show of 2017

Disappointing Tv Seasons/Series:

5.  The 100 - Season 4

It was sad because we lost so many amazing characters in season 3, but season 4 for the most part things didn’t heat up (pun intended) until last 3-4 episodes, which was the best part of the season. The season as whole wasn’t that great and we did lose one of my favorite characters (again) but it wasn’t the worst, it was still somewhat entertaining.....    

4. Girl Meets World - Season 3 & Series Finale

WARNING SPOILERS: The once funny/goofy show fell hard on season 3, with stupid plot twists and being super cliché when it came to the “ships” of the show it just wasn’t that great. Very disappointing. They dumbed down Riley and here I thought they were going to do a whole deep storyline about how she was acting more childish because she was scared of the idea of growing up after high school, but nope, even when the writers talked about what they were planning if they got another season, it wasn’t there! And don’t get me started on the whole Maya becoming Riley “twist” which made NO sense to me. I think I can count the amount of good episodes of this season on 1 hand. Since this show was based on Boy Meets World I was expecting SO much more, but then again maybe it shouldn’t have been on Disney to start with.

 3. Supergirl - Season 2 

It was honestly just bland, but the show needed to get it’s footing now that it’s on the CW, but I was just barreling through the episodes waiting for the good part and that didn’t really happen. I also didn’t care for/about Kara & Mon El (Even though I loved Chris Wood since I first saw him on TVD back in season 6) which was a huge part of the season. The only good additions to the season was Tyler Hoechlin (loved him from Teen Wolf) , Katie McGrath (LOVED her since Merlin) and giving James SOMETHING to do, aside from being a once love interest. 

 2. The Flash - Season 3

It felt like a “been there, done that” season, yet ANOTHER speedster villain as the big bad… The reveal took too long and was disappointing. Flashpoint was a waste but it’s great as a loophole for the writers to explain something that doesn’t make sense, just blame it on Flashpoint…  The two parts of the season don’t seem to flow together and the season finale was very disappointing due to the fact that it was basically a combination of the season 1 & 2 finale. Iris West was basically just a plot device this season, so disappointing. HR, Cisco, Joe and Wally were the best characters this season. 

1. Pretty Little Liars - Season 7 & Series Finale

WOW. JUST WOW. I have loved this show since the first season and read most of the books, so I was ready for an epic and well deserved ending….But I was horribly wrong. This season and the finale was just SO DISSAPPOINTING. We got a half assed ending, which we only got because the original A.D. actor couldn't stay long for the finale (seriously that’s why they didn’t go another route) and they pulled a plot twist THAT THEY USED BEFORE ON OTHER CHARACTERS in the show and was one of the major plot twists from the books. The fanbase is VERY VOCAL when the writers do something they don’t like, so it felt like everything became fanservice to please fans and everything just didn’t make sense anymore. If you thought the Gossip Girl ending was bad, just don’t watch this. To quote Emily “I WASTED SO MUCH TIME ON YOU”   

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overhyped TV Shows:

5. A Series of Unfortunate Events - Season 1

As a fan of the books I just didn’t enjoy the show as much as other people, I mostly had to power through the episodes to finish it. I was mostly cringing when I watched it. With the show coming out on Netflix in January with only 8 episodes, it took me about 4-5 months to finish them. I just didn’t enjoy it. I was expecting something different, and I have an open mind if I don’t like a show at first but I couldn’t get over this. If there’s another season I may watch it due to curiosity, but I’ll try to go into a new season with different perspective. 

4.  Young & Hungry - Season 5

They recycle the “will they, won’t they” storyline too much and makes the chase for the couple that you’re supposed to want to get together just unbearable to watch. The only good parts of this show is when Sofia and/or Yolanda are on the screen. Still sad Young & Sofia didn’t get picked up; Gabi is much better and more interesting as a side character. I mostly watch this show now when I’m bored or need to laugh. 

3. The Fosters - Season 5

CAN THIS SHOW JUST END?! I do admit I watch the new seasons when it comes on Netflix and loved this show when it first started but now it’s just another show where they’re recycling storylines between characters. Between replacing actors, boring storylines, no character development for most of the “kids or teens”, and just reaching for more or wildly odd drama is just too much for me. Stef and Lena are the only characters I like now. 

2. Riverdale - Season 1

It’s a good show, I like most of the cast and the actors are good. I do like  and very much enjoy Riverdale, but it’s becoming larger than life and the hype has just been too much for me, personally. I do still recommend it, but it’s not the best thing since sliced bread, you know what I mean? I will probably watch season 2 after finals when they go on hiatus. 

1. 13 Reasons Why - Season 1

Okay, you knew this was probably coming with the overhype title. I really loved this show, it’s just with all the hype around it and it getting renewed for an unnecessary season 2 is the final nail in the coffin for me. (pun not intended) Hannah’s story has been told and they could’ve easily made a 2 hour movie to end the cliff hangers from season 1 instead of milking the show that was supposed to raise awareness. I don’t think I will be watching season 2, but who knows. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Favorite TV Seasons/Series:

9. Baby Daddy - Season 6 & Series Finale

I enjoyed this season, it was just as funny and entertaining as others. Everything was just tied up in a little bow as the “perfect” ending. I would’ve liked to see just one more season from this show to feel fully satisfied. I am sad that this show didn’t get renewed because it’s “competitor” Young & Hungry just recycles the same relationship storyline and gets renewed.

8. Switched at Birth - Season 5 & Series Finale

Let me just say that I’m biased towards Bay, she is by far my favorite character on this show and I have loved (almost) all of her storylines and this season was no different, we really got to see her and Daphne mature. It was a great ending to the series, I just wish they would’ve been able to get 20-22 episodes for the season to finish up some other characters storylines in more than just 5 minutes. But hey, at least they made sure everything and everyone had an ending. I also appreciate how they tackle more serious subjects with racism this season, it was so different that subjects that they have discussed in the past.

7. Legends of Tomorrow - Season 2

This season just got wacky and random but I really loved it. Nate and Amaya were great additions to the team and it was great to see Sara as captain. She did do a much better job than Rip. I also liked the character development for Mick, one of the best developments from the Arrowverse. They also brought in some great villains this season as well. Only complaint: USE FIRESTORM MORE THE HE’S AWESOME AND MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYONE ON THAT SHOW. I will be catching up on all the DCTV shows after finals as well. 

6. The Originals - Season 4

I just enjoy this show so much, there was A LOT less romance this season which was great! We really got to dive more into Vincent’s (who is one of the best characters) past as well as learn more about the werewolves. I loved that they brought back some characters this season. I also like how they sorta tribute horcruxes from Harry Potter in the finale with the main cast. (The solution very much reminded me personally, of horcruxes). I’m just not ready for this show to be over because season 5 will be the last season. 

5. Arrow - Season 5

After the DISASTER that was season 4 this season finally restored my faith in Arrow, the villain this season was not the most powerful, but was the most effective and really made Oliver come to his breaking point. On top of that they revealed the big bad identity to the audience first and I personally love seeing the villain unmasked playing our heroes in the daylight without them knowing it. 

4. Prison Break - Seasons 1-5

Just an amazing show, I finished it so fast. There’s great character development and great actors. I still think the first season is the best, there’s a few plot twists that I don’t really understand, but it might be because I didn’t get a chance to watch the revival this year. But I’m ready to binge the original series again! (I was unable to watch the season/revival that aired this year)

3. The Vampire Diaries - Season 8 & Series Finale

WARNING SPOILERS: They brought out all the stops they could think of for this season, between shocking and sometimes unfair deaths to bringing back characters for one last victory lap this season didn’t disappoint. To be nitpicky I would’ve loved to see Nina Dobrev for more than just 1 episode, have Stelena be endgame due to Nina and Ian’s lack of chemistry, and Bonnie get something a little bit better than traveling the world. In the end though I really liked how all of my favorite characters ended up being happy and that Bonnie didn’t die, plus I’m ready for Klaroline on The Originals.

2. Reign - Season 4 & Series Finale

 If you’re looking for a historically accurate, to the books tv show then this isn’t for you. I had to get over that when I decided to pick this show back up this year. I binged it from start to end when season 4 arrived on Netflix and my opinions completely changed. I watch shows and movies to check out of my reality for a little while and this show just really grabbed me, plus when events don’t go historically accurate, I have the need to look up how they really went. I think this show needed one more season, but due to the lower ratings they couldn’t pull it off. Considering that they were told only a few weeks before filming their season 4 finale that it was actually going to be their series finale they pulled it off way better than other shows that ended this year. I have to give props to the writers on this one for actually KNOWING where they wanted their characters to end up at the end of the series in advance. 

1. The Good Place - Season 1

I CAN’T STOP WATCHING IT. It’s forking hilarious! (If you watch the show you’ll get it) I love all of the actors and their characters are all so different and funny. Each character has their own unique sense of humor. Also when they tell you things that can people sent to the bad place is hilarious! I hope to get so many more seasons of this show. Such an underdog on tv right now, I can see this show going to the same level of HIMYM or Friends. Because of the twist I can’t give away too many details, but you won’t regret watching it! 

[kavuyi]

Nkani: All That Glitters 23- A Reaction for Every Action http://bit.ly/2w1MfqS

4th February 2016

Tangled limbs.

Sweat. 

Lips on lips.

Lips on skin maybe.

Chills on skin, tongue licks. 

What was that thing he did with his tongue again? 

Skin on skin.

Hands rub.

Gripping parts. 

The whispers in the dark.

Warm sweaty bodies on ……

“Yolanda!!”

“Hm.” I respond.

I blink and meet the eyes belonging to the object of my thoughts. Masulani. Shit. Was I staring at him all this time? Shame, guilt and a pinch of glee hit me all at once. If only he knew what was on my mind right now. I give him a weak smile hoping my eyes do not give me away. Oh my, it should not be this hard. But it is. He is making it hard for the both of us. Though, taking into account his clean shaven face, crisp white shirt, purple tie and gray smart pants, I am inclined to think he is just fine with what he thinks he’s doing.

And what is he doing?

Well, looking at me the way a boss looks at his subordinate – as if things did not happen between us five days ago. It’s only been five days. Five and I am already losing it. I am not supposed to be losing it. His brown eyes look into mine just like five days ago when I was on top of him or was it him on top of me. Who cares? His eyes were still brown either way. I watch him look away from my face, watch his moving lips, the gestures his hands make as he talks. I can’t help but look at the man and sigh inwardly.

I am never like this. This crazed into a man. Not even that stupid Mutale had me this lost. Isn’t that why I was able to move so fast on to another man. Well that and my love for sex had me moving on too fast instead of going through the denial depression period. But this is something else. 

Way out of my league.

And the man who has me lost? He has no care in the world about the after effects of what happened five days ago. What happened to the man who caressed my skin? The man who kissed every exposed part of me as if it was the most natural thing in the world? No calls. No check ups. Nothing. It’s as if he wants nothing to do with me.

So odd that Masulani has gone as far as ignoring me at the office, out of shame or guilt I have no idea. Probably for the best I think. It’s not like I want my colleagues to know I was opening legs, lifting my weight in sex positions that would have them staring at me in horror. Plus I don’t need Mr Forty knowing I am sleeping with another man from the office. So this is a good thing. Having Masulani ignore me is good in the long run. 

Besides if I continue on this path of staring at supervisor man, Mr Forty will find out about my one night stand. Bad enough I have been avoiding him in the past few days. I need to get passed this soon. Sleeping with one office man is enough as it is. Why the hell do I love drama so much? 

“I need to get passed this.”

“What Yolanda?” 

I look at Mr Forty behind his desk, his eyes on me. Well he is definitely not flirting with me either.

“I need to get a grip on this. Shit.”

Wait. Did I just say that out loud? 

******

“I think I am in love with you.”

His words run through my mind for the umpteenth time.

  “I miss you Mable and maybe you don’t want to see me but I need to see you.” 

“I need to talk to you Mable.” 

“I love you. I’m in love with you. Nothing will change how I feel.”

I have been unable to get the words off my mind. Isaac loves me and I still haven’t responded to him. It isn’t that he hasn’t tried to get in touch with me, he has, but I have ignored his calls and texts. Out of respect or guilt? I know not which one triumphs over the other anymore. What am I supposed to do anyway? I am a married woman and my husband wants to make things work again. So why should I encourage another man’s advances even if I want him too?

Want not need.

I want Isaac. That is the honest truth. I need my Husband. The father of my children. I can not ruin that relationship now. Chinyama is making an effort to be a good husband, and Isaac will be a distraction. To think I never slept with the man makes me whisper a silent prayer. What if I had and Chinyama had found out the truth? What if Isaac came out to reveal the truth? Or what if sleeping with him had made me leave Chinyama, destroy the lives my children have now? Gosh no.

And besides I still love Chinyama. And speaking of the devil himself I hear his voice before he opens our bedroom door, on the phone probably talking to one of his clients – work never ends even if he has an off day. He leans against the door looking at me. He rolls his eyes and makes a gesture to throw his phone away and I laugh. 

“Yes. Yes. I am still here.” He says pretending to be serious. “Ahh. Yes.. I am not at the office today and tomorrow.” 

He rolls his eyes again. 

“I assure you, Mr Chanda is capable of handling your problem efficiently.” He responds. 

Poor man. Working from home must really suck. I smile at him. He smiles back at me. 

“I will inform Mr Chanda to expect you. Yes Mr Moyo. Thank you. Have a good day.” He says before he cancels the call.

“I swear you need to turn that contraption off if you really want to rest.” I tell him 

He walks into the bedroom, closes the door with his foot and walks to the bed. 

“If I do I will have a desk full of complaints and paper work waiting for me next week.”

“Hmm. That would be bad no?” I ask

“Woman! Do you want me home for dinner most nights?”

“I do. So you’re saying it’s bad to leave work at the office?”

“Very very bad. Might as well sort out the few I can manage from here and leave the hard stuff for next week.” He responds. 

He lays down on the bed next to me and I instinctively like a moth to a light I snuggle up next to him. 

“You’re not heading out to meet the ladies today?” He asks 

I shake my head. That was a lie I used to see Isaac; now since that is over I don’t need “to see the ladies” as often. I am working on my marriage.

“You have me all to yourself.” I respond. 

He laughs. “I like the way that sounds.” 

“Of course you do.” I respond. 

He easily lifts me and moves me from his side and on top of him.

“You’re one fine woman.” He says.

I look at him and smile.

“Trying to charm me are you?” I ask teasingly

He laughs. “Well if it makes you smile then I’m all game.”

He looks happy. I know in this moment he is happy. Here with me. It’s as if there is no place he’d rather be. He’s making up for the time we spent being distant. The time he spent being away from me and putting work and that bimbo before me. He’s trying, and that should be enough for me. This close to him at this time of day looking down at his face, I notice he looks tired even though his eyes tell a different story. Whatever he’s been going through has taken a toll on him. Work? Cheating? I wish forgetting was as easy as saying the ugly sentence. Forgive and forget. It’s not. 

“This reminds me of something.” He says 

“What? Tell me.” 

“After Samba was born. Remember that time when she was about six months and she got a fever?” He asks 

I nod. “What about it?”

“When we got back home from the clinic and we couldn’t sleep because we were so worried.” 

I smile. “Gosh, that was one of the worst days ever.” I respond. 

“I remember you refusing to sleep after staying up for so long. And I got you onto me like we are now and just like that you were out.” 

When Chinyama and I were close. When we did everything together. When all we had was each other. 

“I’m surprised you still remember that.” I tell him 

“Who said I forgot?” He asks jokingly. 

I touch his cheek and pull his beard gently. It’s just us two again. I’m in his space and he is in mine. Like old times. 

“You think you made the right choice?” I whisper 

He knows what I mean. He knows why I’m asking. What if it’s my fault he’s unhappy. What if he actually found love with that Cynthia woman and I’m standing in way? What if he’s trying to save face for the children. Like I am. Or maybe I’m looking for a way out of this relationship by letting him have his say. Cynthia or me.

But then if I want him to have his say then why I am I holding my breath for his response. Why do I feel if he tells me we were a mistake then I will be heart broken for the rest of my life. 

“I took the only choice I had.” He responds.

“Only choice you had?”

“Yes.”

“You had no way out?”

“I did. But the other options were never on the table. It was always you and Samba. And it was the best choice. I wouldn’t want it any other…..” 

Without letting him finish his sentence, I kiss my husband. 

*****

“You do know you could have called me che.” I tell Sampa. 

“Why?” She asks as she cuts into her steak. “I wanted to see you.” 

I take a sip of the cold cranberry juice. Lunch at Nico’s. She knew I wouldn’t be able to say no the minute she told me. She knew I would imagine having my favourite steak and fried rice. I didn’t even have to say yes. She told me the place and time. 

“How’s James?” She asks. 

“He’s great.” I respond. “Excited about the baby. I’m sure he will be calling soon. I’m a walking phone receiver.”

“That’s so sweet hun. So romantic. I’m so happy. How are you? How you feeling?”

“Much better. The same anyway. Morning sickness woes but it’s okay.” I respond. 

“You’re glowing already.” Sampa says happily. 

Glowing. I’m glowing? What is glowing?

“Liar.” I tell her. “I know I’m not showing yet.”

“Are you kidding? You don’t need to show to be glowing. Or are you trying to make yourself feel better about getting fat one day?”

“Oh come on Sampa. I am not showing. Yet.”

“Uh, you look slightly bigger hun. Those jeans have got to go. Is that a little bulge on your tummy?”

I lower my hand to my abdomen, quickly pulling my vest lower over my abdomen. A little bulge? Already?

“I swear that’s a bulge hun.” She says exitedly.

“No. Calm down. Not yet. Soon enough. I’m enjoying not showing the world I’m with child. Yet.”

We laugh, I more nervously than Sampa.

“Now tell me. How are you really.” Sampa says 

I look at her and smile.

“Whatever do you mean love.” I ask 

“Oh come on Thandiwe. You’re not yourself hun.” Sampa responds. “I noticed it. The ladies noticed it. You asking about abortion clinics? For your maid?” 

That little big mouth Yolanda. She told Sampa? The hell? What the hell did she tell Sampa. Did she tell the others too? I will slap her! What do I say now? I can’t even lie through my teeth anymore. Sampa will see right through me. I curse my breath.

“I’m fine.” I assure Sampa.

“What happened?” 

“Nothing.” I start and stop. 

The look in her eyes tells me she won’t tolerate me lying to her today. 

“I was going through a bad patch. That’s it.” I respond slowly 

“What bad patch. Tell me. You know I’ll listen to you.” 

She’s right. Sampa always listens to me when I talk. She understands me better than the others. That’s why I usually trust what she tells me. I sigh and shrug. 

“You know already I had issues with marrying James in the first place.” I start.

“Are the problems that bad?” Sampa asks.

“You know my issues. It was about getting over that pig of an ex. And then James proposed and boom I was married with my own everything.” 

“Is James a bad man?” Sampa asks shocked 

I shake my head. “No. He’s the opposite. He’s the best man ever. He’s an amazing husband. I swear.” 

“Then what’s wrong?” 

“I was hoping we could be alone as a couple for a while longer before bringing in kids. You know?”

“How much longer?”

“A year or two.”

“But why that long hun?” 

I look at her and close my eyes. How do I tell her what’s been on my mind. What was on my mind before. Why lie to her anyway? What’s the use? She’s my best friend, maybe she will help me.

Here goes nothing.

“Just in case I left the man.” I respond. “Just in case.” 

Sampa looks at me surprised. 

“You don’t want to be married to him?” She asks 

I shake my head. “It’s not that. We got married too soon. James loved me from the get go. And it took me time. Love is still coming. What if we are not meant to be?” 

“Are you serious?” Sampa asks 

“I can’t even find it in my heart to tell him I love him sometimes. Like I have to lie.”

“It’s that bad?” Sampa asks shocked. “You hate the man?”

“No. I don’t hate James. I think I just thought love would come easy you know. Like the way I had it with you know who. But it’s different. It’s so different.”

“How different can it be?” 

“Like.. I don’t know. The man is so gentle. It’s not a bad thing I promise. But oh my gosh he’s more gentle now with the pregnancy. Foreplay is longer. Like he just over does it.”

“That’s your complaint. You are so funny.” Sampa laughs. “Sanga is gentle. Never rough. That’s the issue with being with bad boys for too long. They ruin what a good man has to offer you.”

“What if we are not meant to be? What if I leave?”

“You want to leave a good man like James for a bad boy or rough sex?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” 

“How long have you felt like this?” 

“A while now. And being pregnant or finding out I was pregnant didn’t help much.” 

“Wow. So what was on your mind about the pregnancy then?” She asks 

“I thought of abortion. Don’t judge me. I wasn’t ready for this. Having a kid. Me? How? You guys call me diva and now diva is pregnant.” 

Sampa doesn’t say a word. She looks at me and gives me smile. Gosh I’m telling a woman who might never have kids that I’m thinking of aborting my own pregnancy. She must think I’m selfish. And I am selfish. I’m already a bad mother. I already suck at this. 

“I wasn’t ready. I’m afraid of what kind of mother I’ll be.” I tell her. “I didn’t want to have a baby now. But it’s happening. Mum says if I keep thinking I’m a child then I’ll lose James to another woman.” 

“Well believe her. Women out there are brutal. They will take from you if you don’t take care of what you have with James.” Sampa responds. “They want what you have. A man like James is a rare diamond. Believe it.”

“I know. And I’m working on my marriage. I’m working on it all. Though it’s hard but I’m trying and James is so accomodating. And so far it’s been good. James and I have our days like any couple. We are working.”

“And the pregnancy. How do you feel about the baby now? You say you weren’t ready. What about now?” She asks 

“I believe I’m accepting it. It’s a baby. My kid. My little me. There are days I’m cranky and other days I’m so happy. It’s different.”

“Hormones.”

“You know. And James is just the best. He’s an amazing husband.” I tell her. “He’s great. I have a supporting husband. He’s always there.” 

Sampa reaches out across the table and takes my hand. 

“You know if you were marrying a bad man I wouldn’t have let you go through with it right?” She asks 

I nod. The ladies wouldn’t have let me be. The same way they made sure I knew how they felt about my ex. 

“James is perfect for you. You needed happiness. You craved it. And God gave it to you. After the things you went through God said she needed this and he provided it.” She says. “James loved you because you are worth loving. You are amazing. I’m happy you married him. He made you happier. Better.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes. And yes love takes time. I understand. But in your own way you love James. You might not think it now but you do. And this baby will bring you two closer.” She says. “You’ll see. You two are so perfect for each other in your imperfections.” 

I smile. Her words sooth my soul. And I agree with her. James makes me happier. I’m a much better person with him around. 

“Marriage is hard but you two will be fine.” Sampa continues. “No more thoughts of abortion okay?” 

I nod my head happily. No more bad thoughts. She looks at me and smiles. That’s what friends are for. My eyes well up with tears blurring everything in sight. Overwhelmed with emotion. 

“And if you feel like this call me or anyone of the ladies. Believe me we all care about you. We want you to be happy. We all love you.” 

“Thank you Sampa.” I respond. 

My phone on the table next to my plate rings. James’s name flashes on the screen and I laugh as my tears call down my cheeks. 

“Speaking of the husband.” I laugh as I pick up the call 

“Hey honey.” James says happily. “I missed you.” 

“Hey you.” I respond. I look at Sampa and mouth a silent “Thank you” to her. “I missed you too.” 

******

I walk into a crowded Nico’s panting. I look around for Thandiwe and Sampa quickly catching sight of them sitting in the middle of the resturant. I exhale and head towards them as fast as my heels can let me. For the first time today I wish I had worn my pumps; but I was in such a good mood that I thought wearing my favourite print heels would be perfect. 

“Hi. Hello. I am so sorry I am late.” I say breathlessly when I get to the table. 

I quickly give a very distracted-on-the-phone-Sonia and a fascinated Sampa kisses on their cheeks before I sit down. 

“Oh my gosh. My boss decided I needed to stay through lunch and be more creative.” I tell them. 

“Breath.” Sampa laughs. “We figured something had happened ‘at’ the kitchen.”

I roll my eyes and laugh. “I swear that man wants to kill me. It’s Sonia this, Sonia that. Gosh there are five chefs in that restaurant alone and it all comes down to me.” 

“Well you’re the best aren’t you?” Sampa asks. “Your CV says so.”

“Well if you put it like that then it’s okay.” I respond.

“Thandiwe and I are about to have desert. You should order your lunch.” Sampa continues. 

“Hm. I do not think I am that hungry. Had a light snack about an hour ago. I can have desert and some coffee though.” I respond.

“Awesome.”

Sampa lifts the restaurant menu and squeals in delight. She looks at me and smiles.

“They have cheese cake!!” She says happily. “I am so having this today. What do you wanna have? They have dark chocolate cake, carrot cake, black forest cake and cheese cake.”

“Dark chocolate for me. As usual. What will Sonia have?” I ask.

Sonia points at the menu and she lifts her finger and points at Sampa. “Cheese cake?” I ask.

She nods her head and smiles. Sampa calls for the waiter and makes the orders while I try to catch my breath and relax. 

“How are you guys? Tell me all. What have I missed?” I ask as soon as the waiter leaves. 

“Nothing much. Shouldn’t you be the one telling us everything. The exciting news.” Sampa responds.

I clap my hands excitedly. “Well, it is done my love. Ian informed me that he paid part of the lobola amount yesterday. I called Aunt Leah last night and she was excited about it all. I am happy Sampa. And it’s all moving along so fast. Ian says he wants us to be married before the end of the year.”

“Awww I am so happy for you my love.” Sampa responds. “But end of the year and this is February. Wow. He is serious.” 

“I know right.” I tell her. “And to be honest I want us to be married soon. Why have the big wedding when the result is the same?”

“And his parents?” Sampa asks. 

I sigh, “Well that’s one issue. His mother.. Ian says she will be fine in time I guess.”

“Are they still around?” Sampa asks

“Yes. They are leaving for The UK next week. Monday I think.” I respond. “And Ian thinks it will be a good thing if we have dinner on Saturday.”

“Hmmm. What do you think?”

“I think no. I would like to still have some respect for his mother. I am afraid that if she goes off the bender again then I will give her a piece of my mind.”

Sampa rolls her eyes and laughs. “You? Give you piece of mind to someone uh huh. Right. You’re too sweet to be true.”

I smile. “Fine. I will be sad and I will cry.” 

“Cry about what?” Thandiwe asks as she puts her phone aside. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Me being finally engaged officially and Ian’s family and I having dinner before they leave next week.”

“Ian’s mother still giving you grief?” Thandiwe asks.

“Imagine ayi. I swear for the life of me I can’t understand her. It’s not like I will be a stay at home wife.” I respond. “And I love Ian so much.”

“Awww mothers are like that hun.” Thandiwe starts. “They hold onto their young. She will be fine in time. I am so lucky I don’t have to go through that.”

“Yes you are lucky Ms Mother to be. And you are going to have your own child soon. Will you hang onto your young one?” I laugh. “But you guys are right. It will be okay. I just have to believe that.”

“That’s the spirit. Now where is my cake?” Sampa laughs.

******

Me:

Did I do something wrong?

Too weird.

Delete.

Me:

Is everything okay?

Too worried.

Delete.

Me:

So It’s been five days not that I am counting but do you mind coming over?

Too desperate.

Delete.

Me:

Hi. Can we talk?

No.

Delete.

I sigh and shake my head. 

“This is so weird.” I tell myself. 

I place my phone on my desk and look at my laptop screen. The words blur up into dots in front of me and I close my eyes. I am definitely tired. I open my eyes and lift my head my eyes heading straight for Masulani’s office. No need to pretend anymore that I am not staring at the man. The office is almost empty anyway. I can see the man sitting behind his desk, on the phone, a smile plastered on his face. Well at least one of us is having a jolly good day.

All I need right now is to head home, have a glass of whiskey and take a nap. That would surely do well for me. After the embarrassing day I have had I am surprised I am still here right now. Mr Forty had gone as far as suggesting that maybe I had a fever and needed some rest while Masulani had simply kept silent. More like agreeing with Mr Forty. Talk about awkward. I assured Mr Forty I was fine enough to work. Maybe I should have gone home then. To try and get the man out of my system. My phone rings and I quickly grab it off my desk, heart racing. 

Mr Forty:

If you have nothing to do then come over.

Remember our usual spot.

The lodge of silk?

Come by

I can’t wait to see you. 

I sigh and force a smile as I read his message again.

Maybe this is what I need. A reminder of why I went back to Mr Forty in the first place. Yes. This is exactly what I need. He will be the much needed distraction I have been looking for. Knowing Mr Forty he will help me unwind with good music and a bottle of whiskey. Why wait?

I put on my black heels and stand up from my desk. Patting down my polka dot flared skirt I reach out for my handbag from the table. Where the hell is the red lipstick I wonder as I search the bag. There you are, I grab the lipstick and quickly apply a coat on my lips before I take out my mirror and look at my reflection. I give myself a hearty smile and I can just make out the dimples in my cheeks. Perfect. I look towards Masulani’s office and I catch sight of him looking at me. I smile. Your loss. I say my goodbyes to a few colleagues smiling brighter than ever.

I leave the building humming to “Let’s talk about sex” as I walk to my car; heels off, loud music later I am driving and deciding which route I will take to get to Kabulonga fast enough. I need to get him to make me forget I strayed. Have a man pamper me and tell me I am the best he’s ever had; get me in the mood and call me tomorrow when he misses me. Mr Forty can definitely do that. 

Getting to Kabulonga at this time doesn’t take me long. Ma Nyumba yamu ma yard, the place of the well to do, spoilt children that never knew how to use feet for movement. The neighbourhood is beautiful. It smells rich because well it is for the rich. I drive into a quiet road, reducing my loud car volume to something acceptable. Besides I do not want to bring attention to myself. I know where I am going. I have been here countless times, I know the route like its the back of my hand. I turn to the left and drive through the gates of Mumana Lodge.

I drive right past the reception and to the car park, situated at the back of the lodge rooms. I see his car then. The black fortuner. I park my car next to his car and switch off the engine. Gosh when was the last time I went to see Mr Forty at our secret place. Too long. Way too long. The nights I spent there most weekends had me forgetting I had a home out there.

I smile at the memories.

I grab my hand bag from the passenger’s seat and open the door. I feel nervous. Just like the first time I came here years ago. I wear my heels and step out of the car, locking it as I walk away towards the lodge rooms. 

Room 17. 

Lucky number 17 we called it before. I can never forget it.

  He loves this number. Something about the number representing the age he was at when he realised his dream. Weird. But I understand him. I look around and knock on the door. Thank God no one is around to see me. I’m just as grateful the room has always been separate from the rest of the lodge. That way I can leave without being seen or judged. Zambian eyes and judging go hand in hand. I lift my hand to knock again when the door opens. 

There he stands.

Mr Forty. 

The black shirt, dark blue office pants he has on does him justice. How did I notice this earlier? The man looks attractive today I think. Concentrating on Masulani had me forgetting I had another man waiting for me. His lips break into a smile and his smile tells me everything I need to know. I’m were I’m supposed to be. With bae. I smile at him and walk towards him.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to come over.” He says 

“Why?”

“Well you’ve been a busy woman. I do not know if you want to punish me but it worked I missed you. I want you right now.”

“Good. I missed you too.” I whisper. “I want you too. Right now.”

His hands wrap around my waist and he leads me into Room 17. I let my bag fall to the floor. I don’t care who calls me for now. I need to get this done. 

“You look beautiful.” He says. “You drive me crazy. You need to stop with the punishments.”

“Done.”

I touch his cheek and lean towards him. He does the rest and his lips land on mine. 

Home sweet lodge. 

Welcome to the good life.

*******

I smile. 

He’s my boyfriend. 

I am allowed to do it. 

I want to call him. 

I really do. But I can’t. He’s probably busy with a patient. Maybe a dying patient. And if I call him I’ll be disturbing him. He might kill the patient as he injects her with something that needs his all his attention. But he hasn’t called me all day – and he was supposed to, is supposed to- and I don’t know if he’s okay. I should just call him, ask him if he will be home for dinner or not. That’s a good excuse. 

I look at the wall clock, 21:50 it reads. He’s late. I’m certain he has no night shifts this week unless something came up and he forgot to tell me. He always tells me. Or he used to tell me. He doesn’t anymore. He just shows up late and I the good girlfriend hugs him, feeds him and lets him rest. Plus It’s bad enough the man has been off in the past few days citing long hours at work as the reason for his silence. I believed him of course, because why else would he want to lie to me anyway. I bite my lip in anticipation of what might happen if I call him. What if he gets angry with the call. Gosh I do not know what to do. I dial his number.

Better now than later I surmise.

His voice comes on the line within seconds of the first ring. 

“Sampa. You okay?” 

He doesn’t sound angry. Maybe worried. I exhale in relief. 

“Hey. Hi.” I respond. “You okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m good.” 

“Where are…..”

“Sampa can I call you back? A few minutes. I’ll be home soon if that’s what you were calling for. Kinda bit busy. I’ll see you later.”

And the call cuts. I stare at my phone wide eyed.

“Definitley not calling him again.” I say aloud.

I place my phone on the table and look at the decorated table

“I should not have called him. At all.” I continue. 

The empty wine glasses next to the bottle of red wine staring at me crying to be tasted; the white plates waiting for a meal to placed upon them. For crying our loud the candles want to be lit. I had it all planned out. A romantic dinner setup for me and the love of my life who seems too busy to find time to come home. 

“There goes romance. Out of the window.” I say. 

I was in a good mood. I had a great day. A very great day at the office. And I actually hoped dinner with my Sangu would be a great way to end the day. Maybe a kiss or two. Maybe more. Who knows. But no hope for that now.

“The least you could have done was call Sangu.” I tell myself. 

I close my eyes and breath in. Deeply. Twice. Calming myself. Something is up with the man I can feel it. He’s changing right in front of me since my birthday. I do not know what is up with him anymore. He won’t open up to me anymore. I can’t force him to. But one way or another he will have to. I stare at the wall clock, counting seconds. Do I wait for him or not? What if he gets here at three in the morning? Might as well sleep. But he said he would be home soon. So maybe I can wait for him. Give him an hour or so. 

“The good thing is I can drink this wine alone!!” I yell. 

I grab the bottle of wine and an empty wine glass. I open the bottle with ease, fill up the wine glass with the red liquid of life and drink. 

It’s going to be a long night. 

To be continued…

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2w1MfqS via IFTTT http://bit.ly/2w3X77Q May 16, 2019 at 07:30PM

[faelanda]

...

that's a gesture of lifelong hatred.

And since when did YOU get an account?

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2rAmiNP

What many people don’t realize is that not all social media platforms are the same. This should become blatantly clear with the way Myspace was completely pushed to the side in order to bring forth Facebook. Rather than copying code to get your Myspace page to look like poster boards to describe your personality, Facebook arrived to offer a simplistic mode of interacting with friends and family all over the world. Yet, that doesn’t mean that other social media sites have to follow the same sort of model. Twitter doesn’t work in the same manner, but it offers a whole new way of interacting. Retweets allow messages to be spread throughout the Internet, and strangers are able to interact with one another without being “friends.” When the prototype for Snapchat was first cultivated under the name “Picaboo,” people couldn’t understand the concept of wanting photos and videos to delete automatically. In fact, it took awhile for people to grasp the idea that short-lived content would actually encourage people to use it more. While Instagram has started to become far more orchestrated and contrived, Snapchat brings a realism aspect from its “Live Stories” and video chat. The platform has become hugely popular with celebrities, especially since they can continue their stories without getting overly obsessed with whether or not each snap is “perfect.” Snapchat encourages frivolous posts, which is great for celebrities who like to share anything and everything. Check out our list of the 10 hottest celebrity Snapchats (and the 5 worst), and see what you’ve been missing.

#1 Bella Thorne Bella Thorne has recently made headlines due to her latest trip to Cannes. While there, photographers snapped pictures of her hanging out by the pool with Scott Disick, and the world couldn’t get over the relationship between this 34-year-old and the 19-year-old. While the snuggling photos didn’t exactly prove that they’re in a relationship, it did get the world talking a bit more about Thorne. For those that haven’t already heard, Thorne’s Snapchat account is definitely worth following. She makes sure to post a myriad of scantily clad photos (including some where she’s showing off her new nipple piercing), and she mixes in videos that keep things interesting. She made huge headlines over the Snapchat video where she showed everyone the experience of getting a bikini wax (being barely covered).

#2 Chrissy Teigen While models are often known for being incredibly beautiful, they’re not always thought of as the wittiest women in the world. Oftentimes, they’re shown devoid of personality and stoic in their appearances. Yet, Chrissy Teigen has completely torn down that analogy. She already started winning over the public with her bubbly personality before she married the famed singer, John Legend, and then the public began seeing much more of her. She landed roles as a television personality and created a huge fan base due to her ever-popular social media accounts. Her Snapchat is constantly updated, and the photos and videos just keep getting better. Besides the adorable and sexy filter pics, she’s also been known to post some great intimate moments between her and Legend during their private life at home.

#3 Bella Hadid While the world was once only interested in getting to know the blonde daughter of Yolanda Foster, her dark-haired daughter has become just as popular. Bella Hadid has become a favorite to walk the fashion runways and has landed some coveted endorsement deals. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that she’s a huge force to be reckoned with on social media since she’s evolved to become thought of as one of the world’s most beautiful women. Yet, there are some surprises that come, and that’s just what her Snapchat followers love about her. She constantly updates her Snapchat with photos and videos of her and her famous friends, and it’s often the elite of young Hollywood. If you’re looking for a behind-the-scenes look at Bella Hadid’s life as a celebrity, her Snapchat is definitely a win.

#4 Ashley Benson Ashley Benson may have started off acting through the soap opera Days of Our Lives, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know her way around in the big leagues. She’s appeared on the big screen and various television shows, but her best-known role is on the hit series, Pretty Little Liars. Her Hanna Marin character is a favorite of fans, which is a big selling point for following her on Snapchat. Rather than limiting herself solely to selfies, her Snapchat isn’t just about showing off her amazing beauty and physique. She often mixes in the behind-the-scenes fun from the set and showcases other favorite cast members on the series. This is a great way to see the cast in a natural and more intimate way and gives a boost to fans wanting to see her outside of her character.

#5 Selena Gomez The power of social media is starting to reveal itself due to the newest features on Snapchat. While it was once only used to show off individual “stories” and promote updated posts, it’s become the latest new route in releasing never before seen content. Selena Gomez used it to share a snippet of her newest song and uses her Snapchat to continue to build her brand. She’s already solidified herself as one of the hottest celebrities on Instagram, so her Snapchat has a hard act to follow. Yet, she seems up for the challenge with her constant updates. She gives her followers behind-the-scenes access to her life in the fast lane, and the selfies and videos are always fun and just the right amount of sexy.

#6 Kylie Jenner While Kylie Jenner was once thought of as the forgotten little sister in the Kardashian/Jenner clan, she’s since become the new “It” girl when it comes to social media. People have criticized her for the evolution of her look, but that hasn’t stopped her from garnering a huge fan base. People think of her as the next generation version of Kim Kardashian, and her social media constantly delivers. She obsessively updates her Snapchat, which is great for those looking to follow a celebrity account that’s always changing. She shows pictures from behind the scenes at photo shoots, as well as the inner workings of her lip kit endeavors. Yet, the best of all is the fact that her followers can be up-to-date on the hottest new looks she dons in real time.

#7 Ashley Graham Ashley Graham is a plus-sized model who’s defied all sorts of barriers when it comes to moving up in her career. She was the first-ever plus-size model to grace the cover of the famed Swimsuit Issue of Sports Illustrated and has become a celebrated television personality. She’s commended for promoting a positive body image for women of all sizes and even more so for being successful in the modeling world. While there’s still a standard of the typical size zero for models, Graham has started to open people’s eyes in terms of what can be deemed a beautiful physique for a woman. Her Snapchat offers a constant reminder that not all women have to be toothpick thin in order to be considered beautiful. She’s known for posting scantily clad photos and even showing off her bubbly personality whenever she can. If your version of sexy is a bigger woman with a lot of spunk, this is the Snapchat celebrity account for you.

#8 Kate Upton When Kate Upton first started making a name for herself in the modeling world, there were already a lot of things going for her. She had a natural beauty that was reminiscent of Old Hollywood beauties like Marilyn Monroe and a body that seemed to defy the laws of gravity. The videos of Upton doing the “Dougie Dance” circulated on the Internet and created an instant buzz surrounding this up-and-coming actress. Upton even started to branch out and was featured alongside Cameron Diaz in the film, The Other Woman. Visions of Upton frolicking on the beach were like a gift for moviegoers, and her Instagram page was the same. When Upton finally opened a Snapchat account, it became an instant favorite with fans. From scantily clad photos and videos to a few controversies to make it interesting, Upton will never disappoint.

#9 Demi Lovato Demi Lovato started out with the stigma of being a Disney kid since so many before her succumbed to the trials of fame. Once she transitioned into a full-blown pop star, there were rumors of Lovato fighting her own demons. From signs of cutting on the red carpet to dealing with substance abuse and mental illness, fans were worried that she would never again return as she was. Yet, she managed to beat the odds and seemed to come out even stronger. She’s become a champion for body positivity and often shares photos of herself sans airbrushing or makeup. This is what makes her Snapchat the most interesting because she likes to lift the veil from many of her glamorous photo shoots. She gives her fans a behind-the-scenes peek at her life when the cameras aren’t rolling, and there’s an incredible amount of sex appeal in a woman that can be confident in her own skin.

#10 Rihanna While Rihanna was first seen as a fresh-faced girl from Barbados with an amazing voice, she’s since evolved into one of the most controversial music artists in the industry. The years have definitely hardened Rihanna, and she doesn’t ever feel the need to censor her online posts. She’s known for posting outlandish photos of her at the strip club, partying on expensive yachts, and letting her freak flag fly, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that her Snapchat is definitely one to follow. It seems like even when she’s just updating her followers with her regular activities, she can’t help but look sexy. In this particular Snapchat story, Rihanna was using her finger in order to stir her alcoholic drink. The snippet video on Snapchat was worth the price of admission.

#11 Chelsea Handler Chelsea Handler is often thought of as a pioneer when it comes to her success as a female comedian and actress. She’s best known for her late-night talk show, Chelsea Lately, but calling it like she sees it on television hasn’t been the only time when she’s garnered attention from the public. She’s never been a stranger to controversy, especially since many claim that the only reason why she got her talk show was through the romance between her and E! Entertainment chief, Ted Harbert. She’s actually had a few romances under her belt, including a very public affair with 50 Cent. While all of these factors may make it seem like she would be the perfect candidate for an exciting Snapchat account, Handler has utterly disappointed her followers. She often released videos of her attempting to rap horribly, and no amount of sexy photos can erase that from your memory.

#12 Kim Kardashian The world seems completely out of whack when Kim Kardashian has fallen into the “worst celebrity Snapchats” category, but recent events have definitely made an impact on her presence on social media. Kardashian’s robbery in Paris seemed directly related to the live photos she shared of her newest piece of jewelry, and it caused her to take a step back from social media. Yet, this wasn’t the only snafu that was caused by Snapchat. While the world already knew about the drama between her husband, Kanye West, and Taylor Swift, it wasn’t until the infamous video that they began to see Kim’s involvement in their feud. Kardashian released recordings on her Snapchat during a phone call between West and Swift, presumably to tarnish Swift’s reputation. Yet, it backfired and people began to question the ethics of recording someone without their knowledge and then releasing it on Snapchat. Nowadays, Kardashian’s Snapchat seems quite guarded and isn’t exactly the most exciting to follow. Perhaps she’ll one day return as the Queen of social media, but many wonder if people will still be interested once she does.

#13 Paris Hilton There was a time when Paris Hilton was thought of as the hottest celebrity in young Hollywood. From her reality TV series to her endless romance drama, people just couldn’t get enough of this hotel heiress. Yet, a lot of time has passed since her days cruising around with Nicole Richie. The public has grown tired of her contrived baby voice and the same old photos of her jet-setting around the world. There seemed to be some animosity between her and Kim Kardashian, and Hilton pretty much lost the hidden competition they were in on who would become the Internet’s most sought-after celeb. Although Hilton has managed to remain in the limelight through her successful endeavors outside of the U.S., she’s by no means as popular as she once was. Her Snapchat stories try and play up the fact that she’s still being sought out for being a DJ, but it just seems completely played out at this point.

#14 Anna Ewers The best Snapchat accounts are from people who are willing to share their lives as they happen and post continuously to keep an updated account of what’s going on in their world. The accounts that aren’t updated are pretty boring to follow, and they don’t keep their “Story” interesting. The 24-year-old German model, Anna Ewers, has made the choice to limit what she shares on social media. There’s no denying that she’s a beautiful woman and a major contender in the world of modeling. There are some who have compared her to a young Brigitte Bardot due to her stellar look. In an interview with Independent, Ewers talked about her conscious decision to limit her social media accounts. She stated, “I’m very lucky. I’m not too exposed to social media and is [sic] going quite well for me. I like to have my privacy.” So, if you’re looking for a celebrity account that will really give up the dirt, this one isn’t the one for you.

#15 Dani Mathers As a rising figure in the modeling world, Dani Mathers was starting to garner some real celebrity attention. After getting the label of being a Playboy model, she was a favorite to follow on her social media accounts. The gorgeous blonde continuously posted scantily clad photos of herself, and it was easy to see why Playboy would want her for their own. Yet, that all changed when Mathers chose to share a photo of an elderly woman changing in the women’s locker room at an LA Fitness gym. The caption read, “If I can’t unsee this then you can’t either.” Mathers claimed that she only meant to send it privately and blamed being new to Snapchat as the reason why it was released online. Mathers pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor charge of invasion of privacy and has taken some time away from social media. Yet, if she ever decides to truly come back, this is a Snapchat that definitely wouldn’t be worth following.

Source: TheRichest

[faelanda]

i did not kiss anyone. melos is a liar it was all cgi

[faelanda]

bleh i hate cuddles >:0

[faelanda]

I DO NOT WANT TO NUZZLE YOU. IT IS INVOLUNTARY, I MOVE AGAINST MY WILL!! (((￣へ￣井)

waittt-- what time is it..?

for how much did i sleep..?

i thought i'd just take a little nap... my hair looks crazy.