#yo momma joke

[vexwerewolf]

When you are having a very normal day at the Secret Anomaly Research Facility

[smolestboop]

Bilbo: I have another riddle for you, dear.

Thorin: (Deep sigh) Alright, tell me.

Bilbo: What's larger than the moon yet fits inside your house?

Thorin: (Long pause) I have no idea. What is it?

Bilbo: Yo momma.

(Wide shot of Bag End with muffled sounds of pots and pans crashing from the inside)

[choralendall]

this is also the face he'd make if someone made a dragon deez nuts joke

laois i am so happy you didn't grow up in the american public school system they would have fucking got you

[badboy101]

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator the World Trade Center collapsed

[shitpostroundhouse]

[starblitzie]

My life revolves around “your mom” jokes.

I find that I can’t have a conversation these days without making at least one. And it’s interesting when you do it that often, because I swear 80% of the time the response is “Hah! You’re not wrong!” And I think that’s both sad, and hilarious.

The best ones are the ones I tell to my brother. For obvious reasons. Irony keeps my blood flowing.

[scoobydoozombieisland1998]

one thing about me is i'll never be convinced south park is funny or smart

[blackvahana]

Words in the brain. Too many. So many. A few at least.

Because everything I'm working on and most of today is things I'm guarded about... for no reason other than I'm very territorial and nest-focused at the moment... Let's pick a peripheral topic: I'm currently chewing on and dissecting the symbolism of the mechanical horses beasts, we'll say, not horses. Every plate corresponds to a planet or celestial something, gateway. It's a beast of gateways, mostly hidden, powered by the inverse projection of the Abyss. That's to say the Abyss "sinks downwards" and this therefore sinks outwards, water moves - the sound of water plays in my music - outwards like fat bodies relaxing. That's a blissfully pleasant image by the way, I love fat bodies.

Except... It's pulled to push. Like ice screams outwards, except... I mean. It's just the Abyss listening to me and doing what I say, programmed to not just support but, like velcro, push against the inwards pull of the armour by interlocking laws, snogging lips.

Metals. Strange things in relation to the Abyss. Celestial. Many feet, more than four pairs because... Because. Nothing I do or am or say has less than five limbs. Reflective. Opportunities to shed visibility. Fuelled by god-energies themselves, look, if I have a nuclear reaction of a body -

Stars are plotted on them. Navigational impulses. Programmed by running starstuff into grass - the process of transmution of the illimitable to the tenderly organic, muscles hydraulics and minds vacuous. God that's a great word I'm so glad I got to use that phrasing. Wahoo.

Can't help but send a bit of a glance towards the flesh web on my mind. I think really what I might do is chew up a place in ANVD like that - oh. Right. Yes. Floating, abstracted stairways, suspended dreams, dreaming geometries. Suggestions. Matter becomes alive when you string patterns, patterns are consciousness, if I create something which mirrors myself - the Web mirrors the Spider - then it'll be alive. Hall and [redacted] of mirrors which add colours to what they reflect. Ice cold nothingness, star-catcher, star-eater worshiped spared on the pike, and fish below, and between, and the galaxies brought down to a pressure where they collapse into pitifully soft-touching strings of pillowy fibres.

Hmm... Not quite ready for that yet. But I see it on the horizon, a knitted spectre. Get it. Like sweater.

[rocknbolan]

OMG BABE ARE YOU OKAY?? WHAT HAPPENED???

I'm fine. Guy got lippy and insulted the band and took a swing at me when I told him I knew his mom's phone number and now his nose is no longer centered on his face.

Scotti got me out.

[s-s-s-senp-p-p-pai]

I wonder if this happened

because we know that medieval kids had doodles of creachers on their books and stuff

Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

[hexdeathmixx]

Yo Moab so fat it… cool aid… oh yeah

[4denthusiast]

You may have heard that resurrecting yo momma will take 35l of water, 20kg of carbon, 4l of ammonia, etc., but given her particular composition, a supplemental hydrogen source such as parrafin wax may be necessary to reach the appropriate ratios.

[davidaugust]

Harsh Freudian burn.

[the-stars-sigh-when-i-get-high]

MIKE DID WHAT TO SCOTT’S MOM?!

[badboy101]

Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.