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lnc2 · 7 years

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Object Permanence

Summary:

Adrien makes a mistake.

Also on AO3 and FF.net

The Mistake

Plagg never told him how much it would hurt without the suit.

They had been at this for so long that he took for granted just how much his leather-slick second skin absorbed. He was Chat Noir, savior of Paris, righter of wrongs and fearless defender

except when he wasn’t.

Sometimes when he lay awake at night Adrien could still hear Ladybug’s screams as the akuma’s claws sank deep, deep, deep into his shoulders and remember the phantom pain even her miraculous couldn’t cure.

She wore red much better than he ever could.

But as he lay bleeding out on the cobbled path of the Left Bank with Ladybug’s curses and Plagg’s damn you, kid ringing in his ears, sure in the truth that he was going to die and just as sure that she would bring him back, Adrien let their admonishments roll over him like waves.

Dying for her was like an old song, one that vibrated through him like the strings of a violin. From his veins to his toes to his ears every part of him that was Chat Noir and every part that wasn’t was a symphony of devotion to her. Like a soldier follows their general, like a lover follows their hands

Adrien could and would think of a thousand ways to tell her she mattered but on days like this his tongue was weak, his fear was strong, and sometimes Plagg was just too slow.

Could she really expect Adrien Agreste to stand by while Chat Noir recovered?

Call it a gut feline but it sounds like you could use a little help.

And when it was done, when the akuma was purified, when a million magical insects surrounded him and the streets and Paris, he could feel her arms around him, crushing and punishing and so, so, angry that he could only smile.

“You stupid boy. You stupid, stupid boy.”

Ladybug visited him that night.

Or rather, she visited the rooftop across from him. He caught her silhouetted against the city lights as she kept her silent vigil. A statue amongst the chimney tops, he could read indecision in her shoulders like words on a page.

Adrien felt pulled towards her but he didn’t dare disturb Plagg. After berating his charge for the better part of an hour he collapsed into a disgruntled pile of exhaustion in an unreachable corner and hadn’t moved since. Adrien had a sinking feeling it would take more than camembert to fix the rift he had cataclysmed between them.

He continued watching from the window as his partner stood unmoving for a few minutes more before shaking her head and yo-yoing off into the night.

The stalemate continued for two days before Chat Noir stepped in.

Catching up with her on the beams of the Eiffel Tower, Ladybug was a red and black ornament staring down at the lights of a city that knew darkness and none of its consequences.

“What if I can’t save them all, Chat?”

“The best we can do is try,” He said and the way she smiled told him he was wrong.

But she didn’t stop him when he sat down beside her and it felt like breathing when she moved closer to lay her head on his shoulder.

“I’m not strong all the time,” She said and Chat thought of the way Ladybug screamed when Adrien Agreste leapt in front of her.

“You don’t have to be.”

There was something in her voice, an echo of fear and frustration and pain that told him his time for secrets was over. He slammed that door closed the same way he’d been slammed into the pavement.

“I’m sorry,” He said, to say anything.

“But you’re not,” She sighed, pulling away because she knew.

“No,” Chat wrapped his arms around himself to make up for her distance. “And I’m sorry about that too.”

It was all over the Ladyblog.

Of course it was. Alya Cesaire would never find herself on the wrong end of a scoop and although she hadn’t been on the scene when Chat Noir disappeared she and her camera were far too present by the time Adrien made his appearance.

It was his worst nightmare.

All weekend long Nathalie had been fielding calls from hungry newspapers, radio stations, and talk shows alike that wanted a piece of the most recent akuma attack and the civilian that saved Ladybug.

His father was not pleased.

And if Adrien thought he would find any respite at school that illusion was quickly shattered when he heard Alya’s excited voice carry out over the clamoring of his classmates and into the hall.

“Did you see the way he just dove in front of her like that?”

Adrien stood half-frozen in the classroom’s doorway, unwilling to enter, unable to turn around and flee.

“I didn’t think Adrien could move that fast!”

“It wasn’t that fast.”

“Shut up, Kim.” Alix said. “You’re just jealous because you’ve never saved a superhero yourself.”

Rose sighed. “Well I think it was romantic.” “What about you girl?” Alya grinned, nudging Marinette’s side with her elbow. “What do you think about Prince Charming’s new savior status?”

Marinette caught Adrien’s eyes as he finally entered the classroom.

“I think it was incredibly stupid.”

Her answer was mostly drowned out by the others but Adrien couldn’t look away from Marinette. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on the receiving end of her scowls but there was something about disappointing her that made him ashamed in a way that all of Nathalie’s proxy parenting never could.

“I’m sorry,” He said, but whether it was to her, to Alya’s probing questions, or to himself he did not know.

Plagg was furious with him.

His kwami was lazy enough on his best days but it wasn’t until his reckless superhero debut as Adrien that he really understood the term passive aggressive.

He was getting very used to waking up with mushed camembert in his bedsheets.

But that wasn’t even the worst of it.

Adrien didn’t know how much he’d miss Plagg’s complaining until it was gone. The little god hadn’t said a word to him in days.

“Give him time,” Ladybug said as they wound down their latest patrol. After an evening of half-started conversations and prolonged silence Chat was at his wit’s end.

“It’s been two weeks.”

“Tikki said Plagg’s been known to hold grudges for decades.”

“Fantastic.”

She frowned, her hand hovering at her waist above her yoyo. “What did you expect, Chat? You could have been killed.”

“I wasn’t!”

“You were.”

Chat stared at his partner as she avoided his gaze. His stomach sank.

“You’re mad at me too.”

She sighed and it was as good as an admission.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Chat.”

He was suddenly very, very angry.

“What the hell was I supposed to do?” He snapped. “Let you take the hit? He would have sliced you open the same way he got me and then where would we be?”

She didn’t say anything so he continued.

“You’re the one who can fix everything, LB. At the end of the day, miraculous or no miraculous, my job is to protect you.”

“Your job is to protect Paris.” She scowled, finally turning to look at him.

“Which I did by saving you so why the fuck should I feel guilty about what happened?”

“Because you didn’t give us a chance!” She snapped. “You didn’t give Plagg a chance and you didn’t give me a chance and you just rushed in like you always do. God Chat I’m so tired of watching you die because you don’t take the time to just think.”

“Excuse me?”

“What if Miraculous Ladybug didn’t work, huh? What if this time I couldn’t bring you back? Everything else aside, Adrien, that’s a terrible thing to put on a person. And I bet if you ask your kwami he would say the same thing. He wasn’t ready so you just say fuck it and go? He’s probably hurt and angry and so goddamn worried that next time he won’t be enough and you’ll do it again!”

Oh.

His anger fell away from him as quickly as it came only to be replaced by a gut-wrenching sense of shame.

“I didn’t think about it like that,” He muttered.

Ladybug watched silently as her partner seemed to shrink in on himself and sighed. She really didn’t want to fight with him.

“Just… just give him time.”

“And you?”

He looked up to see her worrying her bottom lip. His heart felt stone-heavy as Ladybug’s miraculous gave off its first warning beep. She shook her head and unclipped her yoyo. Chat resisted the urge to scream.

Ladybug still didn’t want him to know.

He laughed, but there was no joy in it. “Even now?

“I’m not the one who jumped in front of an akuma as a civilian, Chat.”

God, he’d really fucked up.

He clenched his fists together to stop his hands from shaking. As she threw out her arm he said,

“I’m sorry. I just wanted you to be safe."

“I know.” She looked over her shoulder and gave him a small, sad smile. “Next time try to remember that’s what the rest of us want for you too.”

#*drops into the tumblr ether*#yo idk either but there's like four parts maybe #miraculous ladybug #ladrien #LadyNoir #it's been a rough week so goodnight ya'll #fan fiction #mine #text #lnc2 writes

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writer-loogi2 · 3 years

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♡︎𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙼𝚒𝚌 𝙷𝙲𝚜 ( 𝚙𝚝. 2 )♡︎

A/N: I'm really really bored. And since I haven't received any requests at all, I'll just do something productive, like idk, write random crap that nobody asked for.

Anyway, I'mma write with Present Mic again because I love him sm lmao-

♡︎𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: Read part one [ here! ] Read part three [ here! ] Read part four [ here! ]

♡︎♡︎♡︎

♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝: Random Present Mic headcanons! ( part two!! )

♡︎𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐!! None! ( just random funny stuff )

♡︎♡︎♡︎

( ♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚝!♡︎ )

• Very random but I have a feeling that he always sends text messages or emails in ALL CAPS. ( it's not because he's angry or anything like that, he's just trying to signify how loud he is lmao ). When he doesn't send messages in ALL CAPS it's either because Aizawa stole his phone, or something's wrong. ( Basically no ALL CAPS equals BAD )

• I feel like if he had social media he would most likely have Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, ( Tiktok would probably be an option too). But I like to think he uses Twitter the most, and he only uses Facebook ( not very often ) to look at crappy memes.

• His sneezes are TERRIFYING. Like he's the type of person that sneezes so loud it scares the crap out of you and it can be heard from a mile away. 💀

• ( Remember that stupid headcanon I said where he can mimic voices or whatever? ) Well, he can mimic sounds too! ( and again he uses it to do harmless pranks on people ).

• Another random sleeping headcanon I have is that he moves A LOT in his sleep. Like there's a huge chance that if you sleep next to him he's probably gonna accidentally hit you with an arm or a leg. He's like a cat when they stretch-

• I also feel like he sometimes talks in his sleep? He doesn't say much, just random things. ( it's super creepy the first time he does it though- )

• Y'all can't argue with me on this but I just know that he totally sings in the shower. ( and his shampoo bottles are microphones now lmao )

• (Okay so this is really weird but I've seen people headcanon, or well, actually draw Present Mic with tattoos all over his body, mostly on his arms, back or chest) But I like to think he has a tattoo on his butt- and I have 3 reasons as to why he got it..

1) It either symbolizes something important.

2) He probably got it as a joke.

3) He lost a bet and had to get one.

• ^( Sadly I don't know what he would tattoo on his butt, just imagine something cool since I got nothing in mind )

• Why do I get the feeling that he talks with his mouth full? I just know he does 😖

• ( Bro, I just thought of somethin' stupid he most definitely does- ) he tries so hard NOT to say any curse words ( especially around the students ), so instead he says "Sugar Honey Ice Tea" a lot. ( which stands for S.H.I.T. 🥴 )

• I kinda like to imagine his eyes can glow in the dark- idk why, it just seems like a cool concept.

• His hands are really pretty and they feel so soft??? Like you'd probably think his hands are maybe kinda dry and rough but nah, his hands are super soft and smooth like wtf- ( mans does manicures sometimes lmao )

• Yo yo, I just know he takes FOREVER washing his hair. ( not only it's because it's so long but also because he uses SO much hairspray )

• ( Hear me out, have you ever done that thing were you listen to a really good song and you start to gently tap a surface with your fingers to the beat? ) Well, Present Mic does that too! He does it a lot actually. ( mostly while grading papers or when he's driving- )

• ( I've been thinking about this a lot but I headcanon that teen Present Mic hitting puberty is probably the funniest shit ever ) He kinda sounds like he's using some weird autotune for whenever he talks but sadly that's just his voice going through some changes so he kinda sounds like that. ( poor baby )

• ( And finally ) This is super random and kinda stupid but I get the feeling that he tries to watch animal documentaries about bugs to try to get rid of his fear but he just c a n ' t. For him it's the equivalent of watching a horror movie.

A/N: Oh boy- I finally did it! I wrote more headcanons with my favorite loud banana-

I hope you enjoy these as much as the first one!

°.♡┈┈∘*┈୨୧┈*∘┈┈♡.°

♡︎𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝♡︎

#by neko loogi #do not repost #headcanons #present mic #present mic headcanons #mha headcanons #🎁🎤

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binniesthighs · 4 years

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hello stranger | reader x changbin |

a/n: I sincerely apologize for the pain caused with last chapter...so naturally, i had to go and write more pain muahaha. i also apologize for the wait on this one, for some reason i had a weirdly hard time getting this one out of my head, ahhh i think I’m just lil sad about it all ending :( but! we’re almost out of the woods cuties!! thank you so very much reading as always!! <3 this is the second to last chapter and idk how to feel ahhhh

Part 7

Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung

Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst

Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!changbin, rapper!jisung, establishedfwb!jisung, artist!reader, skz side characters, bestfriend!chan, bestfriend!felix, roommate!minho, explicit language, some kissin’ and that good, good makin’ out, soft n’ intimate body touchinggg, mentions of getting drunk in the past, mentions of a toxic familial relationship, gahhh lots of crying and emotions in this one but it’s bc we’re figuring things out :)

CW: dub-con-ish scene due to conflicting feelings but it gets stopped pretty quick

Word count: 7.6k

Chapters

Jisung shared his apartment with two equally messy boys. You had forgotten their names despite meeting them and seeing them around on more than one occasion. Lucky for you, they each had distinguishing features so you named them as such: tall one and younger one with white hair. Once upon a time the four of you had hung out and they weren’t unbearable, just a bit cookie-cutter as you had called it. Both of them were in the same music school as Jisung and didn’t have many other interests outside going to music shows and playing PC games while loudly shouting.

There was never food in that apartment but somehow there was always dirty dishes in the kitchen. Sure, it smelled a bit like dirty socks, but you never paid too much attention to that when you would clambering in the door with your lips locked with Jisung’s. It was strange walking in not doing so. Tall one and younger one with the white hair sat on the couch eating pizza with feet kicked up on their banged up coffee table. They didn’t say anything as they watched you walk in, but merely rolled their eyes and pretended that you weren’t there anymore.

“We can go to my room.” Jisung raked his hand through his greasy brown strands, then kicked aside approximately ten pairs of sneakers. He held onto your hand tightly--so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

You nearly slipped on that rug that lined the wooden floors of their hallway. It wasn’t the first time.

Just as the rest of the apartment was, Jisung’s room was strewn with all kinds of random articles such as dirty clothes, tangled up cords and old to-go containers. His bed was unmade; it was those navy sheets that likely hadn’t been washed in several weeks. You could never really pinpoint what they smelled like, just that they smelled like him. You had spent nights there too, but they were nothing memorable. No groggy mornings with coffee or sunlight streaked onto his features for you to admire in the golden sheen. It had been running late to class and the dozens of times that you had left jewelry and hair-ties.

“Wanna sit down?” Jisung patted the spot next to him, and you did so.

The two of you sat in silence, the atmosphere became thick with the tangible sense of disaster that hung around the both of you. It was catastrophic.

His trembling hand came reaching for yours, and you let him take it. He sniffled, and it triggered your eyes to fill with the same hot tears.

For the first time, you wondered, what am I doing here?

“You want to lay down?” His puffy eyes asked you.

You nodded, crinkling those bedsheets that were probably full of dust.

In all your months of knowing him, you had never, never cuddled. This was the first time and you really weren’t even tied together anymore.

His nose had turned pink, and he rubbed a bit of snot away with his wrist.

“Thank you for coming here.” Jisung whispered. “But--what are you doing here? I thought that you were with Changbin now?”

I am. You thought briefly. Am I?

“I just...so confused right now. I don’t know...there’s just...I don’t know...”

A tear fell down Jisung’s cheek, and you couldn’t fathom why he would be the one crying when it should’ve been you. You wiped it away. You had never thought of it before, but seeing him cry brought a sting to your chest.

Jisung leaned forward, and the bed creaked lightly, then he kissed you. It wasn’t really a passionate one, but one that he had used to say more than he could himself. His lips tasted salty running over yours, and your brain froze deciding what to do. Jisung never changed: as broken as it felt, he was still starving, needy, and rough. You tried to find meaning in it, or if it made you feel.

It didn’t.

Jisung held your face in his hands, and with a hesitant sigh, he said, “I really, really wanted to do that for so long.”

As desperate he had seemed for you, you couldn’t find the same desire if you had tried. Maybe, you had to find it?

“Kiss me again.” You hushed.

He licked his lips with a gaze softening. “Okay.”

This time he swung his legs around your hips and straddled you with the kind of pressure that you had craved, once upon a time. He bent down to press even more of his heated desire on your skin. He was a good kisser, and you remembered once again how you really had wanted to have him kiss you like this, once upon a time. His tongue slicked against your bottom lip and you gave him the permission, testing it out just to see.

You had thought back then that he was unreal.

Jisung rutted his hips down into your waist, and you had already felt how he had hardened in his sweatpants.

You knew how it would go...or how it used to.

“Baby, I want you so bad. You have no idea. I-I don’t think that I want anyone else besides you--” He broke to meet your eyes. Your world blurred, and sobbed out from under his gaze.

What am I doing here?

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Worry flooded over his face.

“I-I can’t do this, I shouldn’t do this, fuck--what the fuck am I doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please just...get off of me. Please...”

He did so, but still looked just as shocked. “Did I do something wrong?”

He too started to tear up again. At last you could finally name what it was that tugged at his soft brown eyes. Fear.

“Can you please tell me what I did wrong? Y/n, I don’t understand, you’re confusing me so much--”

“--This isn’t right Jisung!” You nearly yelled with broken sobs. “We aren’t right.”

Jisung’s face fell, crestfallen. “N-no--”

“--We destroy each other!! Don’t you see?? Never have we ever been happy together, we’re just...coping! That isn’t love!!”

“Then why the hell am I in love with you??” Jisung spat out the words, and then it was immediately evident that he had regretted saying them.

A deadly silence fell over the room, and all that was left was the both of your weak sniffles.

“What did you just say?”

Jisung grabbed one the pillows then threw it down on the floor with a poof.

“Fuck!!!” He literally shouted. His face had turned red, and snot dripped down to his lip. “I have fucking feelings for you okay?? Is that enough for you?”

“Ji...yo-you can’t--”

“I can’t what?! Is it a fucking crime? Listen, I’m scared out of my fucking mind saying this to you, alright? I don’t know why the hell I am but--”

“--We-we can’t, Jisung..”

“Can’t what?!” He threw his hands up into he air in his exasperation. “Stop fucking confusing me!!”

“We destroy eachother.”

Jisung grabbed another pillow to pummel to the ground, but then stopped himself, digging his fingers into the fabric until his nailbeds turned white.

“We hurt eachother too much. An-and...I don’t think that it’s really our fault either. It’s just...who we are. I can’t give you what you want and you can’t give me what I want.”

Jisung sobbed out horribly, then buried his face in his hands.

“But I fell in love with you...?” His voice was terribly cracked.

You watched as tears dropped into your lap and made little wet dots on your jeans. “I fell in love with Changbin...”

His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, but still glistened, like the way that oil would slick in rainbows with the snow.

“Then what are you doing here?” He asked one more time, but now he had appeared to be utterly broken.

You rose from the bed, looking down at him and drying your face. “I...think I know why.”

“And?”

Outside of Jisung’s window, the view was similar to your own: city lights in an array of colors; each of them like stars on the ocean. On the wall adjacent from his bed, you noticed there was a crack. You had never realized that it was there before.

“I’m admitting something that I should’ve a long time ago.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

You had likely forgotten to close a window in your apartment somewhere because the winter cold had pervaded the whole space. It took you about ten minutes to realize that it was in your bathroom from when you had taken a shower earlier to air let out the steam.

The second thing that you noticed was the crumpled up blanket resting on the couch from before. For some odd reason, you felt the strong desire to wrap it all around yourself like you could capture some essence of him in it. Sure enough it did smell like that scent of his that you had grown so used to. You let the blanket trail behind you has you made your way to your room to pull on one of his shirts over your head.

“Who told you that you could look so cute in that?” He had said one time.

[23:16] Bin

me: can i call you?

[00:18] Bin

me: if you’re asleep, can I call you in the morning? if that’s okay? i said things that I didn’t mean...i just didn’t know it then.

i’m so sorry

how i treated you...you didn’t deserve that

i understand if you’re mad at me. you have every right.

i’m sorry that i couldn’t see that things that you were trying to show me.

i see them now.

You had thought that now the snow had finally faded into the edge of the winter that near it’s conclusion. Early March, and you wanting nothing more for spring buds to peep from the snow capped floral beds on street corners and for the white hugging the trees to dissapear forever. The winter had felt as if it had lasted for a year--even though this year you had seen less snow than other years.

There had been a time when you firmly believed that once the snow melted, it would get better. Snow was a bitter memory, and it was curse that had to happen each and every year.

The night that you had met Changbin, it had been cold. Cold like the winter that you had tried to hide from. You hadn’t thought of it until now, but he was much like the way that snowflakes melted on your skin. It reminded you of the icy coldness of the world for fleeting moments, then faded just as quickly as it arrived. The little wet mark of him warmed on your skin.

Outside of the miniscule window to your living room, snowflakes got caught up in the edges of the frame, and sprinkled the surface of the glass in their variety of gorgeous fractals and unique shapes. A full moon was painted into the sky with a brightness that could’ve paralleled the sun on this clear night swimming in deep azure.

You hugged the fabric of one of his shirts even closer to your frame, pretending for a moment that it was him that had been hugging you and not the cotton.

“I’m so sorry.” You cried out weakly to the empty room.

Your phone screen flashed with the time: [00:42]. You wondered, maybe he really had given up like he said that he would’ve. Maybe he walked home in the shivering cold, hands shoved into his pockets and decided that he was done waiting; that you weren’t worth his time and the effort. Maybe he walked in his front door, closed it behind himself, and said the words, This is it. No more. Maybe he walked into his room and cried. Maybe he didn’t. You couldn’t decide if you had wanted him to cry for you or not. Both hurt.

[01:13.]

Your eyes dragged with sleep, but your mind moved faster than the pace of your dry eyelids. Dust had settled on the white sheet that you had drawn over the painting in your room. On the underside of the sheet, globs of acrylic had dried and turned into multicolored flecks: a bit like the sheet was a piece of art and and of itself. It was nearly finished, and only had about one more quadrant left that was void of color.

Your wooden pallet had been resting by the window, so it was cold to the touch--as were the little aluminum bottles of paint resting beside it. You used your shirtsleeve to dry away one tear that had battled its way to your lid, then sat back on your desk chair, facing the easel head on.

Black first. Then deep blue, then bright yellow, burnt orange and gold.

Hairs brushed over the canvas, and swept in wide strokes back and forth. With an empty mind, you smeared over the dark colors that faded to the edge of the canvas into the glowing light of the edge of the alleyway painted here. His figure was prominent, even though you couldn’t see his face. He wore black clothes that were simple. Frankly, you didn’t really remember what he had worn that night, but it didn’t matter much. Neon blue and red restaurant signs met on as reflection on his dark black hair.

It was as if your chest and hand had been weighted down even further, but you fought through it to raise them. While you let the tears fall at first, they dried after long and made the skin of your cheeks tout. The room was silent, and so it was outside with the drifting snow. Soon, the painting would be finished, and you could sleep. You couldn’t sleep until then.

if your art didn’t mean anything, what even was it?

The pink lights lining your room provided the only light to the room, however not much else was needed than that.

You bit your lip, now mixing yellow with red.

If you couldn’t tell him. You hoped with every fiber that this would.

[04:51] Bin

me: if you’re up to it, can we talk? or, i can call you?

goodnight

wait its morning

good morning then.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Chan was good at keeping his promises. There was not one time in your whole time in knowing him that he hadn’t kept a promise, no matter how absurd it might’ve been. He had promised you to buy you ice cream on the first day of snow, and he had promised to share his lyrics with you, no matter how much they would make him cringe. He promised that if you ever needed someone to watch your guilty pleasure reality shows with, he would be over as soon as he could. Next to Felix, you had figured a long time ago that if there were ever people in your life that you were destined to meet, he was one of them. Admittedly, there had been a time when you had harbored a crush on him, but as usual, you had been best at getting in your own way before anything could’ve happened. This, and you loved him as a friend too much.

Too many jell-o shots were both of your enemies. Halfway into the driest seven minutes in heaven of your life, and halfway into your confession to him, he had passed out right in your arms. You were lucky that he had forgotten the event entirely. Or, he was keeping his promise that you had hurriedly made asking him to forget that it ever happened when you and Felix carted him out of there.

While he was good at keeping promises, you more so wished that he had forgotten that one.

Chan had promised that he would personally use his ID card to get into the soundproof booth in the music department to scream.

You hadn’t ever taken him up on the offer until today.

It was nearly midnight and unopened text messages still sat in in empty bubbles on your phone screen.

Even though you had consistently texted “good morning” and “goodnight” for three days straight, the action of sending them didn’t make you feel any better.

Chan didn’t ask any questions, but merely let you through the halls which echoed from your squeaking wet shoes. The green light of emergency signs appeared to be the only guiding lights, but Chan knew the way well.

“Careful. The floor is slippery. They mop after everyone leaves.” He hushed in the silent hallway.

Your fingers and lips cracked from the cold and felt tingly warming up in the dry heat of the building. The two of you turned two more corners, then Chan carefully wrapped his veiny and red hand over the handle to the door marked with “Studio Five.” He tapped his key to the reader, and it beeped with flashing green and orange lights.

“Here. This is the entrance to the booth. I’ll enter from that door to get to the other side of the glass. You don’t...want me to go in with you?”

“Want me to wreck your ears?” You have him a feeble smile.

He mustered his own kind of strength that he had been keeping up just for you. “Hm. You’re right.” Your friend clicked on the light, and it burned your eyes at first compared to the black hall. “Take...all the time that you need, I’ll just be over there. If you wanna...talk about things, I’m here for that too.”

The booth was an ugly shade of lime green, and you wondered how anyone could ever be creative in a place such as this. On the other side of the tinted glass, you watched as Chan flicked on the light, then made his way to push the button to the little intercom system. His voice buzzed with a tinny sound.

“No one can hear you, so....go nuts.”

The walls were too padded with black foam insulation, and for a moment you considered how strange it was, that you, had entered that place to scream--not make music like the room had been used to. Even though the walls were lime green. It still brought a sense of sadness to your chest.

The room spun lightly behind your eyes, and you panted out frantically.

What the hell am I doing in here?

[23:29] bin

me: I hope that you sleep well tonight. i’m thinking of you.

“Is everything okay in here?” Chan’s voice said over the speakers.

“W-what am I doing here?” You repeated the question, feeling panic rise up your throat.

“Getting your anger out?” He tiled his head. “I-I don’t know why else because you didn’t tell me. You angry at someone? Something?”

“N-no? --I mean, yes...I-I don’t know.” You said with uncertainty. Suddenly the foam walls of the room started to close in. “I need to get out of here.”

“Woah! Woah! Y/n! What’s--” Chan chased you out of the room, back into the empty hallway with the squeaky floors and the green light.

“Hey, let’s just...take a breather here for a sec.” Your friend reached out to smooth down your arms. “If you wanna talk about it, I can help maybe?”

You tore from his gasp, then slumped against the wall to slide all the way down and sit on the cold linoleum floors with the heaters pumping steadily above your head.

“He’s not...messaging me back, and I think that I royally fucked up this time. I think that I finally did it, I finally pushed him too far.”

“Who? Changbin?” Chan crouched down to sit next to you. “Is that what this is about?”

Shallow breaths filled up your lungs, “I think...I think I just lost everything that I could’ve had with him, and it’s all my fault...I’m fucking angry at myself, Chan.”

“A-are you sure?”

“I basically told him that I didn’t know if I wanted to be his girlfriend...after everything that’s happened, everything that he’s done and how patient he’s been...but...there was Jisung an-and...I realize that I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean any of it, I want to be with him so fucking badly and I was just too caught up to see it and--”

“--Stop!” Chan barked. “Stop and give yourself a second to breathe! Did you realize that you’re not doing that?

You hadn’t. Nor had your noticed your shaking hands. However, Chan had seen them, and held them with his.

“You said that you do want to be with him but you told him that you didn’t?”

Somewhere in the hallway, one of the emergency floodlights blinked with a harsh white light.

“Yes.”

“And did you tell him that you didn’t mean it?”

“I have but he hasn’t gotten back to me? He would always get back to me, no matter what it was--it makes me worry--”

Chan cupped your hands then brought them to his chest where he held them earnestly. “Some things are out of our control, Y/n. And, I hate to say it but, now, I think you need to come to accept the possibility that maybe...” His gaze softened. “I’m sorry. I wish I could say something more or better but I’m not him and I can’t know...”

You scoffed, “Is that supposed to be comforting?”

Chan tsked, as he often would do with a little sarcastic drag to his voice. “A long time ago I promised you that I would always be honest with you, and you know that I hold to my word.

He rubbed his thumb into your hands.

“Do you want me to say then to go running after him? Throw it all to the wind? Even if it doesn’t end up going your way?”

“...Maybe.” You swiped a tear from the corner of your right eye. “Would it be worth it?”

“Maybe.” He sighed.

A silence filled the hall and the space between you two, and Chan kept holding your hand. It was a simple touch, but you hadn’t realized that you had craved something as such.

“Y/n? Can I say something?”

“Yeah?”

“Even if it isn’t him that it ends up being, I think that you should know that you still deserve happiness in someone. Even after all that you’ve been through, you still do. It sounds like to me...you’re finally realizing it.” He smiled with a bit of a wrinkle to his lips. “I’m proud of you.”

You squeezed his hand. “Thank you. Its...been a long time coming.” Your head hit the wall behind you with a slight thud. “I’ve been painting recently. And...it means something to me. I feel like I found something, like I’m seeing something for the first time in a long time and it makes me really... full. Like he does.”

Your friend let go, then went to play with his shoe-laces.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what was the final straw?”

“He just...loved me different. Better than I ever could myself, and I think that it made me realize that in order for me to love him too, I had to make peace with myself, and just...” You breathed out a laugh, “...Chill the fuck out. But--I know that I can’t let go of it forever. What happened, made me. I can’t give that up, but that doesn’t mean that I should wallow in it forever. I don’t deserve that.”

Chan leaned to give you a light slap to the arm. “Look at you.”

“I...saw Jisung too.”

While anger laced his voice, Chan remained level headed. “...And?”

“Me and him just dug ourselves into a deeper hole. Even he...he could do better. He needs a “Changbin” too. You know? I can’t be that for him. I never was even close. I feel sorry. I should probably see him one last time...”

The image of Jisung’s disparaged face burned in your memory in the midst of it all. Somehow you had forgotten that he had gotten feelings tangled it up in it all, and you had just left. Through all that you had been through with him, you couldn’t let it just go so easily.

“There’s a lot of things that I need to make right.” You sighed out with finality. Next to you, your best friend did the same.

“Whatever happens, Felix and I will be here for you. Like always.”

“Mm. Thank you, Chan. Really. Thank you so much. The two of you are the best friends that I could ask for. I don’t know how you put up with me...”

“Ahhh, don’t mention it.” He shoved his shoulder into yours playfully. “Ya know, if this goes south, we could just date.”

“What?!” Your head whipped over to him so hard it hurt.

“As I recall, about a year ago all it took were some jell-o shots...”

You smacked him upside the head, causing him to burst out laughing in that empty hall.

“I told you to forget about that!!”

“I’m just joking!! Jeez! Can you take a joke!?”

You laughed with him, your goofy and kindhearted best friend. You realized it hadn’t happened in quite some time.

“Yeah Changbin is alright, but me and Felix are forever. Got it?” He teased, and you slumped your head on his shoulder.

“I know.”

In your pants pocket, your phone vibrated and flashed with a white light.

[01:36] L. Minho

minho: i fucking hate that i’m in this position

but

bin’s in a bad way and i’m fairly certain that he hasn’t told you about it all

idiot.

anyway, his parents are being shitty assholes and i think that he really needs you right now, even if he isn’t saying anything about it. actually i know that he does.

i also wanna ask you to kindly resolve whatever shit that you have going on before you walk in our door. out of kindness for both yourself and him.

sorry not sorry. i really do love the both of you and it hurts me to see it be like this.

i suggest that you come over as soon as you can.

Your heart beat its way into your throat with a million emotions, but out of them all, fear for Changbin ached the most.

“Chan, I have to go.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

It was likely Minho who had buzzed you in.

Luckily, the night had somehow gotten warmer--at least warm enough to where you couldn’t see your breath in front of your face any more. Unfortunately though, you had still worn the shoes that Changbin would scold you for wearing on snow-packed nights. Luckily, the snow had started melted too.

The door clicked when it unlocked, and you slid inside the glass entrance that was smudged with fingerprints and the wet from dog’s noses pressing on the surface.

For a reason unknown to you, you decided to take the stairs--even though he had lived on the seventh floor. Partially you had decided that you had done so because it meant that you had more time with your thoughts; more time to decide if you really had resolved all the shit that you needed to leave on the outside of his doorstop.

You thought back to the painting sitting finished in your room. It waited in all of it’s beauty for the sun to shine on it and the rest of the world to see it. For him to see it. It was for him that you had painted it in the first place. Every ounce of pain and confusion was lathered across the canvas, it was bare for anyone to see after you had kept it concealed for so long.

He would see it.

You took each step slow and carefully, and listened to the way that the sound bounced off of the walls and how the carpet matted on each stoop.

Chan had said, “Even after all that you’ve been through, you still do.”

Minho opened the door after three clicks wearing a bathrobe and slippers. For being so distressed like his message had said, he looked perfectly cozy. You remembered that Minho really was one to keep it all together when shit would get intense. Somehow he had the ability to write whole papers over the course of one day and had passed tests after studying for only four hours. You wished you could manage as well as he could.

“Fuck. It’s late.” He rubbed his eyes. “Come in. Take off your shoes please.”

You did so, and rubbed your toes into their carpet. It was almost as if you were waiting further instructions, but you knew full well what you had to do.

Minho glared at you expectantly. “Well? Shits left outside?”

“Shits left outside.” You repeated with a nod.

“l’ll let him explain. It isn’t really my place. Just--listen to him okay? I think that’s what he needs right now.”

The apartment itself was a bit barren, the only things that were placed in the small space were the things that the inhabitants needed: a dining table, a leather couch, a TV set, a few beanbags and a kitchen kept clean by Minho. It was strange seeing a place so organized and...neat. It was as if this apartment was from an other side of the world compared to what you had grown used to previously. Changbin’s thick and dark black coat hung on one of the dining chairs, the same that he had worn the night that he had last seen you. You wondered if it had been sitting there these past few days.

“Go on.” Minho flapped his hands to usher you down the hallway to Changbin’s room. At the end of the hallway was the bathroom, and seeing it flooded your skin with the feeling of warm water and defrosting skin, lips on lips with heated desire; tracing fingertips that got caught with the translucent stream of water as they brushed down spines and hips. If you could’ve gone back to then and done it all over...you wondered if you would’ve.

“Knock first.” Minho mouthed.

You did, breath hitching when it opened slightly, and you called out his name. “Bin? Its me. Can I...can I come in?”

His hesitant voice called back to you, “Yes.”

He was a crumble on his bed, black socks twisted up with his dark bedsheets and his hoodie riding up his back to expose a sliver of skin where he laid facing away from the door. His beautiful dark hair was knotted.

“B-Bin? A-are you okay?” You advanced forward carefully, reaching out to touch his arm. You had never seen this confident and headstrong man reduced to something so small, it broke your heart into shards to see him as such. You didn’t know what to do with yourself: sit with him? Stand? Crawl in to bed next to him? Unspoken words filled the air, and he sniffed out loudly into it.

“Thank you for messaging me still.” Was what he had said first. “I saw them a little bit ago. I was...too scared to open them at first...your messages. I was...ashamed to...”

“--Bin,” You took two steps closer. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

He sniffed in with a clogged nose once more. “I’m sorry.”

Two more steps. “No, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t listen to you, and took all of your patience with me for granted. I really don’t deserve it. I tore you up, and that was awful of me. You somehow ended up being collateral damage to me figuring my shit out and I can’t say I’m sorry enough. I understand if you don’t want to keep this going that we--”

“--Can you get into bed with me?” He suddenly interjected. Changbin twisted his hand back as if he knew that yours was there in some superhuman way, and grabbed at it. “It’s...cold.”

Your heart paused, uncertain if you had heard him correctly.

“Please?” Changbin muttered. “Two bodies is warmer than one.”

Silently, you crossed the room and shimmied off your coat so it fell to the floor. It had been partially absentminded, but you had pulled on one of his shirts that day. It was light grey, and had nearly lost all semblance of his scent on it. You pulled the covers over both of you, peering just enough to see his puffed and red eyes and red wet nose. Seeing him like this, you had to fight every instinct to pull him into your arms, but rather keep a respectful distance.

From seeing the way that he dominated the stage to how he looked under the soft glow of your pink lights, to how he had looked as thin and as fragile as glass now, it had all finally made sense to you. As brash and forthcoming as he was, it wasn’t all of who he was in the slightest. If anything, it was who he had pretended to be.

Tears fell over his pink lips. “I didn’t tell you because...I was embarrassed. Fuck,” He laughed a little, “It’s so fucking pathetic. I’m so pathetic for getting so messed up over this all. I-I shouldn’t. That and...it’s not something that you should--”

“--Don’t you dare say that I shouldn’t worry about this Bin. How many times do you need me to say it?” You traced his dark hair over his ear. “What happened to being each other’s problems?”

He smiled with a weak grin, then wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Minho didn’t tell you?”

You shook your head. “He said that you should be the one to.”

Changbin sighed out, then pulled the comforter up to his nose, adjusting himself to meet your eyes with his that were strained with pink.

“They’re disowning me. For real this time. They asked me to do a legal name change and everything...as if...they’re cutting me out of the family line. Fuck, I mean, they basically are.”

His chest shook with an inhale, and a thick and burning mucus felt as if it had clung to your throat. It was anger and rage, the kind that was so foreign to you, it even started you to feel such a thing.

“Bin, I’m so sorry. They’re...they’re fucking less than human is what they are. Treating you their own son like this...like they think that they can reverse time so that you were never even born of them...” Under the sheets your knuckles clenched so hard it bit the skin of your palms. “I-I’m sorry too...that you were going through this by yourself--”

In one single motion he had spread out his arms to circle them around your upper body and pull it into hm.

There he was again. Rosemary and cedarwood.

You were in shock, but feeling the warmth from his body on yours made you shiver--it was the contact that you had craved so intensely now that you had it, it was so all encompassing that your brain scrambled feeling it.

“Thank you for coming.” He whispered to the top of your head.

Your hands snaked around his body, and you held him back.

In that very moment, you had decided that you would spend the rest of your life holding him back if he would let you. If there was someone out there listening to your thoughts, you prayed that they would let you hold him.

Changbin patted to top of your head with a trembling hand.

“What the fuck do I do?”

Your fingers tugged at the thick cotton of his hoodie.

“They said that either I meet with them to sign away my name, or I pack up, and go back with them as if nothing happened. They said that they were willing to “forgive” everything that I had “done” if I chose to come back home with them, so to school, and forget everything that I’ve ever written, performed...”

“They said that??”

The young man remained silent, but instead nuzzled further into you.

“They said that they could arrange for a meeting with their legal team to finalize it in as little as two days if I decide to do it. Those assholes expedited the whole process and called up their lawyers to make it happen as quick as possible...”

“Bin...” You cooed, and smoothed up and down his back. Being close to him like this you could nearly feel his own heart breaking in his chest against yours.

“Do I forget everything that I was to chase this...dream? Or do I go back, get their support, live a normal life...”

“--Stop.” You gently pushed his hand away to look up at him. “This, all of this is your life Changbin. It’s what you’ve worked hard for relentlessly and it’s what makes you happy, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s harder to do, but you’ve gotten so far, people love you! You’ve made a name for yourself, people want to hear your music--”

“--Yeah, my names gotten itself out there a little too well for my parent’s opinions.”

You wiped a tear cascading from one of his exhausted eyes. “They should be proud of you, not trying to suppress you.”

“They...don’t want me to be Changbin any more. Do you know how that feels? I’ve lived my whole life being me and now they just want to take away the very last thing that I have that they didn’t touch?” He stifled a sob.

“Hey! Just because you change it on paper, doesn’t mean we have to call you that!” You laughed out gently, “If you want to get a driver’s license or something it might be important...but, you’re always going to be Changbin to me, and Minho and everyone else who knows you. A name is just a word. You make up who you really are.”

Changbin laughed out, then returned his hand to pat at your head.

“Who told you to say that?”

You chuckled back at the way that he had turned your words back on you. “No one.”

“I’m just me, but...” Under the covers, your legs intertwined. “I think that if we compare a life of missed oppurtunties to a life where you leave a couple things behind, its worth leaving.”

Body heat swirled between the two of you, and it was as calming as a song. Changbin brought his hand down to caress the side of your cheek with as much gentleness one would with those fragile snowflakes.

Past his shoulder, your eye caught a small piece of paper that had been pasted to the wall above his desk: right in a space where he could see it if he had sat at his desktop. It was crinkled and held several creases and the lead that had been used to draw on it had smudged as if it had rubbed up against itself.

It was a picture of a bench, some Christmas lights, and the city skyline behind it.

Tears flooded your eyes, and then fell freely onto his his fingers where he held your face. They caught in the corners of your mouth, and heated up your eyes.

“Woah, hey, what is it?” Changbin rubbed away the wet and pulled you even closer to him.

“Y-you kept it?” Your voice wavered.

“Kept what?”

You pointed a shaking finger to your drawing posted on the wall, and his eyes widened at first like he was embarrassed, then he slowly faded into something much softer.

He nearly whispered the words, “Of course.”

“W-why?”

“It reminded me of you and that night. I think that I realized something then.”

“What’s that?” He wiped your tears once more, stretching the skin of your face as he did so.

“I realized that, well...I’m in over my head here.” He laughed out lightly. “Do you need me to say it again? I love you a fuck ton, alright? Getting over things, and healing from things...it’s not easy. You...don’t have to apologize for the mess of things and what it did to you. It’s not your fault.”

You threw your head into the crook of his neck to sob openly. But I hurt you. I made you wait...I-I don’t wait you to wait any longer.”

“And I made you wait too. My stupid...my parents fucked me up too, and I couldn’t get over the fact that this fucking mess that they made of me put a wedge between me and you. I didn’t feel like you deserved...I’m a mess too. A fucking nervous, cocky bastard at times and I don’t know how to talk about it. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“What?? No--”

“You wanna call it even then?” He grinned out, and it was his sly little smile that you had found yourself thinking of after you had seen it for the first time those months ago.

“I--”

“Damn. It does feel kinda good to talk about things.” He joked.

You cried out his name even harsher, then melted into his whole body. He was boundless in the way that he had understood you, and how he had looked you without condition or pause.

You don’t have to be scared any more.

With your face muffled in the fabric of his shirt, you let the words fly of your tongue with reckless abandon, and it felt as if you had finally been rid of the crushing shroud fogging your mind, and chaining your heart.

“I-I want you to be...my Changbin. An-and I want to be--”

“--Wait!” Changbin pulled you back by the shoulders with a new and wild smile on his face that only grew wider by the second. A type of excited panic flamed in his chocolate brown eyes. “Willyoubemygirlfriend???” He said at light speed.

You were confused as to why he had said it as such, but you nodded, finally feeling the sense of respite that you had searched so hard for. “Y-yes?”

Changbin startled you with his sudden crack of laughter, then squeezed you so tight that it became hard to breathe. Once he let go looser, he bowed in deep to press dozens of kisses on your mouth and around it. Most of them missed the mark, but that didn’t matter to him. He only stopped for a couple moments to mutter the words, “I wanted to say it first.” You would’ve laughed had he not been attacking you incessantly with more and more pecks that you struggled to keep up with.

“I-I’m sorry again that I made you wait--”

Changbin rolled his weight over to lean carefully over your body tangled up in the sheets, then kissed away at your lips with “don’t say that’s “ quietly. “Thank you for trusting me.” He said quickly, then returned, pouring out oceans of admiration onto your lips until they felt a little raw. You kissed him back too, and you kissed him like you wanted to spend your whole life holding him back. His blissful little “oh’s” tickled at your lips, and you giggled at the way that they vibrated.

Once you had properly kissed nearly all of the air out of each other’s lungs, you laid back, gasping, and each still a bit bewildered.

“Thank you for trusting me too.” You turned your head to look at him where he lay with quickened breaths quaking his chest.

“When I go through with this name thing, can you...be there?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.” He said, barely loud enough for you to hear. His strong hands fell down his shirt which you wore; down to the small of your back where he snuck up the fabric. His fingers tickled at your tiny hairs there.

“I have one more loose end to tie myself. One more place that I need to make peace.”

Changbin nodded. “Mm. We’ll get through it together.”

To your surprise, Changbin then took to pulling his sweater over his head, revealing his bare chest, then pulled off his pants from his legs a bit awkwardly under the covers.

“W-what are you doing?”

He giggled, then pulled at the hem of your shirt for you to do the same.

“Trust me.” He whispered.

You held his eyes as you did, and your bare skin too met the crinkling edges of the sheets which were a bit colder than you had expected. Changbin watched as you did so with a prideful little grin.

“I-I’m confused.” You hugged your arms over your cold torso.

“You’re so gorgeous.” He merely muttered, uncrossing your arms for him to look at you fully, then pulled you by the under sides of your chin back to his lips. He pulled gently at your bottom lip with his teeth. “Clothes were getting in the way.” He hushed, then set to unhooking your bra behind your back.

“Getting in the way of what?”

“Me being as close to you as I possibly can.”

While he had said the phrase calmly, it still sent heat rising straight to your cheeks.

“I want to hold my love like this for as long as she’ll let me. Can I?”

Your two bodies met in the middle, flush, buzzing with a kind of giddy energy that only heightened the more curious that your hands got eating up each other’s presence.

“As long as you’ll let me do the same.”

You couldn’t quite tell, but it had almost felt as if Changbin had scribbled little invisible messages into the skin of your back.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He answered.

You took his wrist to kiss at the line of a scar that lived there. Naturally, Changbin blushed rosy from the action--then promptly pretended that he just hadn’t.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz

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lumin3xe · 3 years

Text

Hq Characters and how they play Genshin Impact!

Love letter 💌: omg hey! So I’ve been obsessed with genshin impact and aswell haikyu so my sexy small brain though ‘what if the hq character played genshin impact?’ And here we are!

Characters: Dachi Sawamura, Koshi Sugawara, Asahi Azumane, Chickara Ennoshita, Yu Nishinnoya and Ryūnosuke Tanaka

(Will this become a series? Maybe 👀)

slighty edited and fluff!

˚ ↠ Dachi Sawamura ↞ ˚

˚ He plays sometimes, mostly with the other third years, he does play with the team tho!

˚ He probably plays it in his free time and if he feels like it

˚ Does he have a strategy? He kinda just plays it, really good on maining on a certain character 🥴🥴 (dw I’ll share it later HAHHSH—)

˚ Is he good? Yeah I like to think so! since he doesn’t play often he doesn’t really practice or grind but If he tried he could be a really powerful player.

˚ He does try to do his daily commissions but he mostly forgets it 🧍(someone has to remind him hehe, he’ll be like “oh shoot yeah— give me a minute” but he won’t play it when he’s practicing volleyball or doing hw or smt)

˚ A lot of Mora and Primogems— he knows how to wish but he just doesn’t do it often LMAO—

˚ One time he got a five star character on his first wish and asked ‘are they good?’

˚ Never has spent money on the game no, he was tempted but he’s like nah.

˚ I feel like he would have Jean and main her well.

˚ his team would be, Jean, Kaeya, Xiangling, and probably Aether (male traveler)

˚ ↠ Koshi Sugawara ↞ ˚

˚ He plays in his free time and sometimes during volleyball practice, plays mostly with the other third years and ofc plays with the rest of the team 😌😌

˚ Hmm I feel like he would try to have a strategy? Maybe when against a boss battle or smt, he looks up how to play certain characters and where to get a certain items, y’know just regular player tbh

˚ He’s an average player—nothing much. sometimes screams when one of his characters dies HSHSHD

˚ Does his daily commissions if he has time too, doesn’t mind if he misses or forgets them (but will be like “oh whoops, I’ll do them later haha” or something of the lines of that lol)

˚ Has more mora than primogems, he knows how to wishes and does it once or twice but sometimes when he‘s bored he kinda wishes alot and wastes his primogems LMAO-

˚ Same as Dachi, never spent money on the game...is what he says HAHSGH

˚ Funny thing is that he got pity once and got Ganyu IAJHAJAJW

˚ Hmm I could see him main Sucrose! tbh he really wants Albedo omg HAHA-

˚ His team is Sucrose, Ganyu, Yanfi, and Xingqiu

˚ ↠Asahi Azumane ↞ ˚

˚ To me Asahi would really like the game and try’s to play as much as he can but he feels like he would get made fun of poor asahi omg🥺Again he mostly plays with the third years and with the team 🥰🥰

˚ Yeah he would have a strategy, and he would be a good player! ( he would have a good strategy too omg)

˚ He would probably be the most best player besides someone else 👀

˚ You guessed it- he actually does his daily commissions! He either does it when he wakes up for school or when classes are done hehe ☺️☺️

˚ Decent amount of Mora and Primogems! He saves them up for new characters but he’s really tempted to just use them in a day LMAO-

˚ I don’t think he would no🧍

˚ Since he’s such a sweetheart, I feel like he would main Noelle! Her background almost made him cry but SHHHH

˚ His team would be Noelle, Barbara, Diluc and Keqing

˚ Wtf he has so many characters??? Like huh?? And he knows how to use them?? Wtf 😭😭

˚ ↠Chikara Ennoshita ↞ ˚

˚Since I don’t know much about his character—I might be OOC so pls bear with me YVGFGDRD—

˚ He plays when he’s bored, maybe when he’s walking in the halls or during volleyball practice breaks. He mostly plays with the second years and aswell the whole team!

˚ No he doesn’t 🧍HAHAHSHS— hmm he looks up strategy’s, play certain characters and etc etc but he doesn’t really do anything

˚ For some reason yeah he actually does his commissions but like,, its creepy weird LMAO?? IDK HAHSH—

˚Same as Asahi, decent amount of mora and primogems lmao, doesn’t use it often tbh, wishes once or twice, somehow gets five stars often???

˚ Nah he probably wouldn’t, if he really wanted a character tho? Yeah he would.

˚ Hmm he probably mains Aether (male traveler) or a five star character rlly good, like maybe even insanely good?

˚ His team would be Aether, Chongyun, Tartaglia, and Diona

˚ Yes he got Tartaglia HAHSHHS—

˚ ↠ Yu Nishinoya ↞ ˚

˚ This dude plays all the time I BET AGAHAHA (Passing time during class, volleyball practice breaks, during the halls etc etc!! Like I swear HAHA—)

˚ He plays a lot with Tanaka! And like try’s to play with everyone else on a regular, he wants to get better at the game and likes to grind/practice a lot on the game!

˚ Is he good tho? Hmm that’s up to you really!

˚tbh his strategy is too smash the buttons— IM KIDDING IM KIDDING HAHHS— I feel like he knows what he’s doing? But like not really 🧍but he’s trying!!

˚ Tho it’s really cute when he wins a battle with a huge boss 🥺🥺(Tanaka hypes him UPP—)

˚ He does like two of his daily commissions and forgets about it— he thinks he’s done them but no LMAO—

˚ A lot of Mora but literally no Primogems— he has like 40 or 60 but his boy Tanaka helps him save them up!!

˚ As much as he wants to spend money on the game, he doesn’t, he wants to get his Primogems fair and square.

˚ He mains Lisa. HSHSHSH— tho in all seriousness he’s really good at maining electro characters!! Like for example he really likes Fichel! He thinks she’s cool 😎😎

˚ Part of him actually believes her story’s HAHA

˚ His team is Lisa, Razor, Fischl and Keqing

˚ Tanaka was nice enough to gift Keqing to noya 🥺🥺

˚ ↠ Ryūnosuke Tanaka ↞ ˚

˚ Like Noya he plays alot! But little less more than him lmao

˚ Knows a little bit of what he’s doing, but just the same with noya but with a little knowledge :)) he’s not bad tho

˚ Yo ngl when noya and Tanaka co-op, there kinda insanely good 😳😳

˚ Talking about co-op they like to call eachother and do boss battles together and it’s like so wholesome?? (Ignore the screaming tho HAHA-)

˚ Surprisingly he does his daily commissions! He try’s to remind noya while he’s at it but kinda forgets lmao

˚ Nah he probably wouldn’t due to noya (fair and square my dude)

˚ Hmm decent amount but not a lot of Mora and Primogems, but he gets characters!! He gets a lot of four stars but somehow he’s good at maining them!

˚ My guess he mains Rosiaro! He thinks she’s pretty— pretty cool! (Shhhh, you didn’t see that)

˚ He also thinks Fichel is cool too, and yes, he believes the story’s she tells.

˚His team would be Rosiaro, Lisa, female traveler (Lumie) and Beidou

HOLY SHIT—THAT TOOK A LOT OF BRAIN POWER TO CONTINUE THIS— YES I KNOW IM WEAK STFU SJSBJAHAH— ANYsways,, I hope you enjoyed this :))))

Also if you wanna play with me in genshin impact send me a dm or ask 🥴🥴 Btw if your wondering my team is, Lumie, Xingqiu, qiqi, and Yanfi!! I mostly main Lumie and Xingqiu hehe

Also my next part will include the rest of the Karasuno team so keep an eye out hehe! Also remember to take care of yourself ilysm!! 💖💖💖💖

reblogs are appreciated :))

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willowistic22 · 4 years

Text

Soon You’ll Get Better (Redfinch)

It was four months ago when his world burned into flaming embers. But after some time, he’s starting to heal from all the pain. And so, his mind starts screaming the same question in a million different ways which all hurt him like knife cuts from different angles : How could he?

Words : 3682

Part : -

Warnings : Death, grief, hospitals

A/N : Abt damn time I post a fanfic huh?? hehe i set a 2 fanfic a month goal for myself to keep the momentum going, so that would kinda explain it. Anyways here a fanfic. Inspired by a post I made a while ago the post is long gone idk where tf it is anymore now and there are elements of Taylor Swift’s ‘Soon You’ll Get Better’ but it’s not a songfic bcs in the fic the song is used as a song Albert wrote. Just read the fic and you’ll get it! Enjoy!!!

@fifty-for-the-racer since you were really passionate abt this idea, this one’s for you <3

Walking through the hallway of his college dorm, backpack on his shoulder while clutching a few books he brought to class close to his chest. It’s full of other college students minding their own business. But they’re loud and fast, while Albert is slow and quiet. His mind is the one going at a fast pace.

The weight and hollow feeling he has grown used to since four months ago doesn’t feel the same way as before. It doesn’t hurt as much. And somehow it felt wrong that he is moving on. He couldn’t move on. How could he?

His brain gets louder and louder with all these new thoughts that he’s been developing lately. As if the loud noises of fast paced college students isn’t enough to make him suffer. Albert lets out a deep sigh as the sight of his own dorm slowly comes to view. He can get some peace of mind for the time being since his roommate still has a class at this hour.

Albert slowly opens the wooden door but stops in the middle of his tracks upon his new discovery.

“I didn’t— I wasn’t— Race let me in before he left for class!” A boy, that obviously doesn’t belong here, sits on Albert’s bed with a few of his messy clothes on his lap. The boy stands up to approach him while frantically moving the clothes away from him, “I didn’t mean to snoop around your stuff, I swear! Your clothes were just- they were a mess and I thought I could fold it—“

“Woah, calm down there, Finch” Albert cut him off, closing the door behind him before he takes a few steps closer to the worried looking blond boy, “You know I trust you with my stuff”

He lets out a deep breath upon hearing those words, “I know, but… I never asked for permission”

Finch’s eyes meet Albert’s, blue and hazel orbs locked in a soft gaze. He sighs out, “I’m sorry”

Albert simply chuckles through his small smile, dropping his bag onto his desk along with the black snapback he’s been wearing all day which reveals his bright red hair in a messy floof, “No need to be sorry. Besides, I really need to start cleaning up”

Finch chuckles at that, dropping his guarded shoulders down. Wordlessly, Albert starts picking up his clothes. Separating them to two big piles on the bed, one dirty pile and another clean one for him to fold and put back to his closet. Finch hesitated on approaching to help. But after the redhead flashes him a warm smile over his shoulder, Finch gladly skips next to him to help.

For the most part, they don’t talk. Finch isn’t sure if he should, not that he’d know what to talk about anyways. But he doesn’t mind it. They could still hear other college students through the walls as it isn’t that thick. And the birds chirping outside makes its way through the single window next to Al’s bed, along with the rays of light coming from the afternoon sun.

“I’d hear an earful from mom if she ever finds out that my dorm is messy” Albert finally broke the silence upon feeling the little tension from the other boy next to him.

Finch steals a small glance to his side, a little surprise with the topic he chose to speak up about. But he doesn’t complain. If this is how Albert mourns, then he’s willing to help.

“Yeah?” Finch asked softly, stacking a clean pair of pants he just folded to a clean pile of other pants.

“Yeah” Albert replied, eyes still glued to his task of separating his clothes. He can feel a little smile makes its way on his face, “She’d tell me to put them back in my closet as soon as it's clean so I won’t forget”

By now, all the out of placed clothes are picked up since Finch had already started beforehand. The wooden floor and the rest of the furniture in his dorm are free from Albert’s clothes. He reaches for the drawer under his bed to grab the laundry bag.

“But… I always end up either forgetting or procrastinating” Albert smiled to himself with a chuckle as he rose up to put the dirty clothes in the laundry bag.

Finch laughs along with him, glad to see him smile while he talks about his mother. It’s been some time since he last saw it. He’s glad there’s progress being made.

It didn’t take long to put the dirty clothes in the laundry bag. He carelessly tosses the bag to a forgotten corner of his dorm, turning to face the neatly folded clothes on his bed so he can organize it in his closet. His focus however, caught on to a strange sound that came from the corner where he threw the laundry bag. A loud thud between a hard solid object with a mixture of unorganized notes originating from strings.

The two boys flip their heads towards said corner, on the remaining space between the wall and the edge of Albert’s bed. There, lay a dusty guitar leaning against the corner created by the wall. The light brown of the wood reflects the minimal rays of sunshine that reached that forgotten corner, making it more majestic than it actually is.

“You didn’t tell me you brought your guitar here!” Finch exclaimed upon taking note of the guitar’s presence. An exciting energy buzzing through his veins all of a sudden. Everyone could instantly tell from the way his blue eyes lit up and his lips splitting into a smile.

“Didn’t thought it’d matter” Albert replied with a little chuckle. He watches as Finch gets his hands on the instrument, all while putting his clothes back in his closet.

The moment Finch gets his hands on the guitar, he puts it on his lap and sits down on the now spacious mattress. The spring bounces up and down with the weight of the blond boy and his new discovery. He starts to lightly pluck the strings, creating a lovely tune while waiting for Albert to finish up cleaning.

As the last item is placed back to its rightful place in Al’s closet, he closes the doors and turns to Finch. He’s still busy getting entertained by the guitar to notice the warm smile creeping its way to Al’s face.

Though, he doesn’t linger in the gaze. Seeing that he’s been wearing the same outfit for the whole day, he decides to slip into some warm sweatpants and a clean t-shirt.

“When did you brought it here?” Finch asked, eyes gleaming at the sight of a freshly dressed Albert walking towards him on the bed. His finger still mindlessly strumming the guitar, the same soft melody still echoes around the dorm.

“After like, what, two and a half months maybe? Dad decided to do some cleaning” Albert explained, ruffling his bright red locks with a hand, “I found this guitar after forgetting about it for a while and decided to keep it. It kept me busy for the most part”

The pair moves to lay down on the bed together. It’s technically too small to fit two people but neither boys mind cuddling towards each other.

Albert takes charge of the guitar while Finch gets comfortable lying next to him. Arms slightly wrapping his shoulders with his head tucked warmly in the crook of Al’s neck. Finch’s small blond curls slightly brush against the coarse skin of the other boy, almost as softly as Albert’s own fingers strumming his guitar.

“Turns out mom had always kept it” Albert suddenly spoke up, soft yet still deep. Finch looks up as best as he can to meet his eyes, though the boy doesn’t seem to be making any efforts on trying to do the same. His eyes turned blue, looking down at the strings he’s strumming, “At first I thought she threw it away since I wouldn’t be needing it for college. But I found it in her closet one time when I had to pick something up for her”

Albert plucks one last string of his guitar before stopping the tune, he let’s the last note resonate around the room. A long drawn out sigh leaves his nose, the aura of this dorm drooping along with his sadness.

Finch looks up to study his face. Hazel eyes clouded with a secret rainstorm behind it. Lips still smiling, but it was cracked by the thunderous thoughts that are now occupying his head.

“Hey, you okay?” Finch dared to whisper. It might be a bad idea, but it’s the only thing he could do right now.

Albert doesn’t answer. He seems to still be lost in whatever is running around in his head.

To which, Finch continues, “It’s okay to be sad, Al. I know you miss her”

“Yeah. I miss her a lot” Albert finally replied. He shifts his head down towards where Finch is already looking up at him, “But I don’t know. Lately it… it doesn’t hurt as much as it first did”

The other boy could only tilt his head to the side with a question mark drawing the lines of his face. Albert just smiles down at the face and chuckles at the cuteness before continuing, “I still miss her but… It’s getting easier to move on. And I know it’s supposed to be a good thing but… I feel kinda guilty ‘bout it”

Finch softens his face at the explanation, offering a comforting smile. He cuddles closer to Albert, which was received with open arms. Al slightly pushes away his guitar to let Finch cozy up next to him a little further. Once they find a comfortable position, they take in the smell of each other and then let it out with one huge sigh.

“It does make you feel guilty if you start feeling like moving on from someone’s death” Finch acknowledged Albert's previous words, gentle and slow, “But nothing in this world would ever make you forget about your mother. I can promise you that”

The redhead snorts out a little laughter, “You sound like my therapist”

Finch, not knowing how to respond to that, laughs along with him. Which only makes Albert tighten his hug around the boy.

“You’ll get through this. I know you will” Finch said, after pondering about his next words for a minute. It was only replied by a squeeze to one of Finch’s hands but he knew it was a way to appreciate his words without verbally saying it.

“Y’know…” Albert suddenly began after a few moments of silence, gently pushing Finch away from the hug so he could sit up on the bed properly. He sits slightly on the end of the bed, opposing Finch so they’re now face to face without needing to turn their heads. He props his guitar on his lap again and looks down to the other boy, “... I uhh… I wrote a song while she was in the hospital. Hoping she’d get better”

Sensing a little private performance coming up, Finch excitedly sits up along with him. Legs tucked in close to his chest, letting his hands rest on his knees. A hopeful smile rests on his face, shining as bright as day.

It makes Albert giggle a little while his fingers start to softly strum the guitar again. It’s a different tune from before, but this one doesn’t sound like something he made up in the moment. It has a pattern to it, soft and comforting.

“I wrote it in the summer after our high school graduation. It’s called… ‘Soon You’ll get better’” Albert explained, looking down to the vibrating strings, “Mom really liked it when she first heard it. She always asked me to sing it any time I visit her in the hospital”

“And… you’re gonna sing it to me now?” Finch asked hopefully, getting impatient from the absence of his boyfriend’s vocals.

Albert chuckles at it, but nods along to answer his question. To which, Finch settles in his seat and waits for Albert to start singing.

“The buttons of my coat were, tangled in my hair

In doctor's-office-lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared”

He keeps his eyes glued down to the strings. Finch isn’t sure if he’s doing this on purpose, but he won’t question it. It’s a song that stuck pretty close to Albert’s heart it seems, and for a good reason too.

“That was the first time we were there

Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you

Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too”

His voice is nasally but still strong and sweet as honey. Finch was captivated by the deep baritenor vocals, slipping out of reality with every gentle note echoing around the dorm. Unknowingly, a smile spread across his face as the song progressed.

“And I say to you

Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better

Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon”

Briefly, Albert drags his eyes up to Finch. A sad kind of happiness paints his face and Finch could only reply with the same look on his face.

“'Cause you have to”

Every word he wrote in the song made him sound so vulnerable, something not many people get to witness. Every sad lyric he wrote sounds like a rain parade sent from hell. The same feeling he felt when his father called him to get to the hospital as quickly as possible to say one goodbye to his mother.

Finch remembers that day too. The couple were with some of their other friends on a night out. When the phone rang, Albert had a bad feeling because the last time he went to the hospital his mother looked worse than before. Nonetheless, he still picked it up and it sucked the joy right out of him. Albert had to ask Finch to come with him. No one wanted to know what he would’ve done if the poor boy walked there on his own.

Mr. DaSilva, his two older brothers along with their wives and Albert’s only niece from his oldest brother had said their misty goodbyes. It left their eyes so watery, they couldn’t recognize Albert running in the room. A woman laid helplessly on the hospital bed, skin too pale for her own good and the same red locks she and her three sons share fully shaved off her head. Their other relatives aren’t here which Albert had assumed was because they’re still on their way. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was saying goodbye to his beloved mother.

She still had the energy to smile at Albert and Finch when they first stepped in the room. Albert had knelt down next to her, taking his mother’s hand and soaking up any warmth left in the palms which was next to zero. They had exchanged words in whispers, and by the time Albert got up to hug her the water starts staining her clothes.

“And I hate to make this all about me

But who am I supposed to talk to?

What am I supposed to do

If there's no you?”

The song was meant to be a get-well-soon prayer for his mother. Albert had his doubts that this time she’d make it out alive since it’s the third time her cancer came back. And for a while, he believed that she would. She had always been a fighter and she did fight like hell at the start of it, saying that she wanted to see Albert graduate college.

Of course, the universe had its own plans. She was too weak to fight any harder and thought that it was enough. As much as Albert hated it, he still had to let her go when the heart monitor stopped beating. The long ringing noise was so deafening, it pierced like dagger right through his eardrums.

As the doctors and nurses took over to do their jobs, the family mourned her death. The pain from every teardrop felt like a stab to the heart. It kept on feeling like that for some time after her funeral as they mourn in their own different ways.

“This won't go back to normal, if it ever was

It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because

'Cause I have to”

Albert was lucky he had all his friends to be there by his side as support. Giving him the necessary space any time he needs it, a shoulder to cry on when he needs it, giving him their therapists’ contact number when he asked, or welcoming him back to the group when he feels like going out with them. Overall, they’re the most amazing friends Albert could’ve asked for.

At first it was hard to keep up with how fast the world is spinning. But Albert soon relearned the pace and slowly healed from the pain. And that’s his new problem. The term ‘healing’ in this kind of situation felt so wrong, to use and to do. Albert feels guilty for trying to feel normal after his mother’s death, because it’s obvious nothing is normal.

Take the rest of his family for example : they used to have family dinners every month in the DaSilva household. Albert, his brothers, sister in-laws, his only niece, and both parents. Four months after the funeral they haven’t had their monthly family dinners. Maybe it was for the best. His father didn’t even seem okay when he was cleaning out his wife's stuff.

“Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better

Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better

Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon

'Cause you have to”

Strumming the last few notes of the song, Albert could feel the water forming in his eyes again. He ignores it till he strums the last chord. Bringing his gaze back up to meet Finch’s, he can tell the other boy noticing the little drops of water threatening to trickle down his cheeks.

They stayed silent for a few seconds, Albert waiting for the little wave of sadness to properly sit while he puts down his guitar on the floor and Finch waiting for a cue to do something.

“She always liked it when I sing it to her” Albert exclaimed, trying to play it cool while he wipes his tears away, “I don’t think you’ve heard it before”

“No, I haven't,” Finch replied. He shifts closer to Albert to help him wipe his tears away with the sleeves of the hoodie he’s currently wearing. After it dried, Finch’s hands cupped his cheeks gently and he whispers, “But it was very lovely. I love it”

To that, Albert smiles. It made Finch smile along as well. But he knows better not to mistake that smile for happiness.

“Thanks for stopping by, Finch” Albert finally said, “I really needed it”

Finch smiles, letting out a little sigh, “Glad I could help”

He leans his head closer to Albert. Sensing a kiss coming up, Albert does the same and their lips meet halfway. Softly brushing against each other while their eyes closed to focus on the warm feeling. Albert gently holds one of Finch’s hands on his cheek with his own as the kiss deepened, still gentle and loving.

A jingling noise followed by loud chattering and laughter coming from the other side of the door got them to pull apart quickly. In storms, the door opens and a tall messy looking figure enters the room still packed with energy and excitement.

“Oh! Uhh… I didn’t know there was a date scheduled here!” Race exclaimed, freezing like a deer caught by headlights in the middle of the room when he noticed his roommate already had his own company.

The two boys looked past him and saw a bunch of their other friends standing in the doorway, waiting for a cue to enter the dorm. They wave at each other politely, all while Finch slowly backs away from his boyfriend. It made the group chuckle, and the couple a bit embarrassed.

“Yeah, uhh…” Race awkwardly said, scratching the back of his head, “...We were about to have a game of poker here—but it’s cool! We can go somewhere else—“

“Nah, it’s okay, Racer!” Albert exclaimed, swinging his legs down the bed. He approaches the door where his friends are still waiting around, greeting them with a big smile, “You guys comin’ in or what?”

To which they all laughed, happily piling in the dorm. They simply put their stuff on an empty space in the floor before they make their way to where Race was already sitting on the floor.

“You playin’, Al?” One friend called out, Romeo.

“Yeah, deal me in” Albert replied, closing the door after waiting for all of his friends to pile in. He trails behind the last friend, Crutchie, towards the little circle his friends had made.

“Last time I was here the floor was covered with your clothes, Al” Crutchie observed the dorm while he slowly lowered himself to the floor in between Finch and Romeo, “Did you finally pick them up?”

Albert sits himself down next to Finch, exchanging a laugh with the other boy before answering, “Yeah, Finch came by to help”

“Took you long enough!” Race joked, still busy prepping the game for the others. Everyone laughed at it, all while Al reached his hands out to playfully smack his knee.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough” Jack stopped the two, growing impatient with the inevitable poker game, “Let’s get this game going!”

So now he’s playing a game with his friends like normal. Of course, the conversation he just had with Finch still lingered in his mind. Of how much he misses his mother and how guilty he feels for trying to move on. But the promises Finch made gave him a little glimmer of light. It’s not something he can technically promise, but it’s definitely something to hope for. With a glance shot towards his boyfriend next to him, which was replied with a soft gaze from Finch himself, he knows that everything will turn out alright eventually.

#newsies #random writing #redfinch #redfinch newsies #albert dasilva #finch cortez #albert newsies #finch newsies #tw grief #tw death #tw hospitals

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yelenasdog · 4 years

Text

bonnie and clyde (billy/4 x fem reader)

genre: angst

summary: there were five people at the funeral of billy jones. why did two, more specifically one, of them leave?

words: 1.3k

warnings: just vv sad my guy. literally no fluff i hate it here </3 mentions of death, billy’s funeral, and crying.

a/n: yo so idk if billy’s last name is jones but i saw someone on here refer to him as billy jones and i think it’s just bc of ben’s last name but anyway LMFAO. i for some reason couldn’t stop thinking abt this and so i wrote it (as one does fkefnkerjn). also y/n was not used so if u wanted to read this as an x another character or x an oc it would work as well. enjoy :)

🌃🌃🌃

There were five people at the funeral of Billy Jones.

This was common knowledge who would listen long enough to hear the vigilante talk about the experience he had only seen from afar, his own heart growing tender during, or at any mention of, the moment.

But Billy always failed to explain the situation with a full grip, to its entire truth. As to why, most anyone could figure out.

He was afraid.

Afraid of getting her hurt, afraid of thinking of her for just a moment too long, afraid of his impulse driving him to get his ass right back up and go say he still loved her.

Four was afraid of a plethora of horrible scenarios that could occur if he let the truth about his funeral slide to anyone except One (which was bad enough that he had to know by default as it was).

And the irony of it all, was how miniscule and ineffective something like who had left his funeral early and as to why, would be to anyone else on the team.

Sure they all had their secrets that would seep into the pool that was their little family, Three’s mother, One’s lover, Two and Three’s infatuation with each other (though, that one wasn’t really a secret).

Not to mention, Four despised painting her in a bad light, allowing others to think for a fraction of a second that she didn’t leave because her already frail heart couldn’t handle to see her beloved’s name etched onto a gray stone in a patchy field of a horrible green, couldn’t handle the idea that their Bonnie and Clyde reminiscent days (minus the killing of 13 people, that is) had come to an end.

There were two people at the funeral of Billy Jones who left early.

The first? An old friend from his hometown.

He was a wealthy businessman now, having abandoned the life of pretty crime and rush of his youth. He showed up to Four’s not-so-celebration of life in an ashen tux with an obsidian tie and shiny oxfords, and barely a minute into the service he had begun checking his shiny Rolex, probably counting down the seconds until he would be considered late to some important meeting for whatever corporate hoax he was a part of to be able to stay afloat. How ironic.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

The sound was like nails on a chalkboard to her, while the action itself felt like somewhat of a betrayal, even though Billy and the businessman hadn’t talked in years. It was a kind enough gesture that he had even come to begin with.

But she didn’t care.

Because before the service had even started, salty droplets were rolling down her reddened cheeks, dampening her hoodie, his hoodie, that she had coiled so tightly around herself and her limbs, almost like a corset.

So when the businessman turned to go after what could maybe have been a measly few minutes, she could barely control her anger.

But she did, for Billy. She sucked it up and stayed put, keeping her eyes trained to his mother who was now speaking, her striking emerald eyes also obviously wet. But in reality, Billy had wanted his former lover to turn around and smack that prick square in the face.

But then 4 took some time and realized that if it were the other way around and she had been dead, he could conjure in his mind how distressed he would be to where he would prefer to focus on wallowing in his sadness for her and her only, not be consumed by anger for some random fellow.

Billy truly wanted to leave One where he stood, wanted to run to where her shaking was escalating from ever so slightly to violently as could be, wrapping her in his strong arms she already missed. The strong arms that she believed should have kept him safe when he was dangling from that damned building with that damned necklace in his mouth.

The image could have been some renaissance painting with how beautiful he looked, even then, on the brink of what the world would know as the death of Billy Jones.

In fact, most of Billy’s and the girl’s adventures could be different renaissance paintings. Alive and free, bursting with vibrant colors and emotions that weren’t able to be captured with words, so rather, they were thrown on a canvas in what was somehow a meticulously put together flurry.

On that rainy day, the weather so fitting to what she had been feeling, she wished for nothing more than to somehow place herself back into those non-existent paintings, to even for a fraction of a second bask in his never ending love like some sort of oasis.

She wanted to run her fingers through his golden curls one last time, kiss his forehead goodnight one last time, to tell him she loved him more than anything in this universe, one last time.

But she didn’t, and she wouldn’t ever get to.

And her one final chance to say what she wanted him to hear, she had missed out on, as that’s when she had left.

It was long after the uptight man in the fitted suit, long after his crying mother had gone from where she was speaking up front, back to the shadows of her baby’s grim event that she should never have had been alive to see.

She had managed to drag herself halfway up to where his casket was sitting just above the ground, trying to not look at the box a second too long.

Rather, she pretended there was a pair of rose colored glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose, helping her pretend that this was all some big misunderstanding, that Billy was just pulling one of his infamous pranks.

He would pop out from behind the tent covering the few who stood with their feet shifting on the damp soil, or perhaps from the headstone of his very own grave. She would gasp or shriek and then smack his arm, lecturing him as he grabbed his chest, doubling over in laughter, the sound like music to her ears.

God, what she would do to hear that sound one more time.

Nevertheless, in the end he would stand up, and wipe her tears from her sweet face, pressing gentle kisses on either of her cheeks to rid her of that pout he hated to admit he loved. She would crack a small smile and he would punch a celebratory fist in the air at the gesture, leaving her to only shake her head at his antics. He would sling an arm around her shoulders, nustling close to her as they would exit the graveyard, never coming back until the inevitable day they both had lived their happiest and fullest lives together.

He would say “You know you love me.” And without a doubt, every time, she would say “Yeah, I do.”

But not this time.

This time, she would let her eyes wander to a tall tree just over the hill, slimming her puffy eyes. She rubbed them and did a double take, and swore that for a moment she had seen what looked like his figure next to one of someone she had never seen before.

And that’s when she left.

She let out an ugly sob, running as fast as her feet could take her to wherever that wasn’t there, the sound of her shoes against the cold ground muted, but the sound of her uneven breathing was anything but.

As for all she knew, it was her mind playing a cruel, cruel, trick on her. Or even her mind trying to give her some sort of closure to move on.

Whatever it was, though, was simply too much for her to process, too much to handle. So she had left, given up on what she didn’t know was her only chance to give a proper goodbye.

“You think she saw you?”

“I hope so.”

🌃🌃🌃

we vibing w this?? i hope so hehe. WAIT PUN NOT INTENDED LMFAO I DID THAT PERIODT! anyway, have a wonderful day/night, and go drink water and eat protein, it’s all abt intention!! i love u! also if u have any questions abt this fic pls do lmk bc ik some of it was kinda weird!

p.s., pls pls pls reblog this! this is my first ben related fic and ik when it’s ur first fic for a fandom they can flop so it would be very cool if y’all could help me out a lil bit :) either way ily, thank u! kk bye

xx hj

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eeriefeelingsat3amuwu · 4 years

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What were the octopus and the spider doing?

Characters: Remus, Virgil (Sanders Sides), Janus mention, Roman mention- minor spoilers for SvS Redux

Tw: cursing, blood, slight gore (it’s Remus, what do you expect)

Relationships: platonic Dukexiety because it’s my JAM bro

Genre: Idk man, fluff? Something like that but not quite as fluffy? Just...my boys doing shit together

Like, dudes, I love these two idiots, they’re my boiis and I would kill for them. Enjoy...this and I apologize for any mistake that was made by me being a clueless Europian Who’s shit with English spelling. Especially double letters. Ugh.

Virgil was laying on his bed listening to one of his playlists and being really bored. He didn’t wanna show face up there because everything hurt (physicaly, for once) and he just wasn’t in the mood to deal with the others’ shit right now. He fucking hated everything. The wedding was a total disaster and he had to keep Thomas’ head down during it, so he was tired. He very well knew that the callback would’ve been a better choice, but that would be siding with Janus and he kinda hated him. A...lot of stuff happened between the two of them and they had a falling out a few months back, so they acted like bitches around each other now. So, thanks to that, he was exhausted, everything hurt and he was done™️, all because he held a grudge. He sometimes really hated himself. So he just started singing along to the songs and pulled out his sewing kit and a dress he was working on right now and just got himself into work. He was so lost in the music and work that he hadn’t heard another side pop up in his room. And so he was notified of Remus’ presence only when he threw a hand on him. Just. A hand. He screamed and fell off the bed. “Jesus fuck!”| “Remus would be just enough Virgey.” answered Remus with a smug smirk. “Oh fuck off bitch! And why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be, like, driving Deceit crazy or laying in a ditch full of mud and blood by now?” Remus snorted as he leaned down, grabbed the hand of off the bed and placed it back on his wrist, moving it around until the bone clicked back. “Well, I don’t know what you’ve been doing down here, but Double D went up there,” he said pointing towards the ceiling, “and laying in a ditch seems boring, so I came to either A: annoy the shit out of you; or B: beat your Just Dance high score. It’s up to you emo.” Virgil rolled his eyes snapping his fingers (placing his dress safely in the closet) and stood up, dusting his hoodie. “That ain’t fair Dukey, you’re gonna annoy me whatever I choose. So, I present this: we beat Janice’s high score in Just Dance, since he’s still better then the both of us, and if they ain’t done by then I’ll show you a few pieces of clothing I’ve been working on recently and we’ll have a show. How ‘bout that?”| “Great ideas Virge. I approve! And...I’ll be there first!” he screamed and took a running start towards the door. Virgil yelped and ran out behind him. They raced down the hallway towards the Dark Side commons and it looked like Remus was winning, but there was one place where they needed to turn left and since Remus was running really quickly, he rammed right into the wall whilst Virgil summoned his spider arms and swung like Spider-man around the corner, landing in front of the sofa. Remus groaned and got up from the floor stumbling over to Virgil and patting him on the back before colapsing on the floor again, face down this time.

“Yo Re, you alive?” asked Virgil poking him with his foot. “Ughhhhhh, fckng waaall, tht wsn’t fairrr.” could be heard from Remus. Virgil turned him around and helped him get up, laughing out loud when he noticed that he broke his nose. He grabbed it and with the words “Dude, don’t cum please.” snapped it back into position. Remus groaned, but thankfuly obliged Virgil’s request. The two of them were playing Just Dance for the next half an hour or so until they FINALY defeated Janus’ high score by switching when one of them got tired in the middle of the song. They cheered and then a loud bang could be heard from upstairs. They screeched like the demons that they were and jumped onto each other. “What the fuck was that?!” Virgil screamed as soon as the sound stopped, his voice warped. “I don’t have a fucking clue, but I sincerly hope that Jany deals with it before it comes down here and eats us alive like fucking oysters leaving only our skin!”| “That isn’t helping you cunt!”| “I know! Sorry, defense mechanism.”| “I know, sorry, I’m KiNdA stressed right now!”| “Please stop screaming.”| “Sorry...”| “Yea...could we maybeee go to your room? It’s a bit more soundproof then the commons.”| “Oh sure! Let’s go.” Virge said and teleported them.

He exhaled with relief when they landed in his room and went to the closet. “Let’s just do this shit. Still better then going up there.”| “Agreed. And you are actually really good at making clothes. What am I gonna wear? Skin? Uncleaned fur? Dead bees?”| “No. You’re gonna be wearing a dress Rere. I’m not making them out of dead bees. If you’re a good bitch and don’t rip them/ cover them in blood or any other substances, I’ll let you do my nails after. Deal?”| “Deal! Oh! Are they long? Maybe I could use them to scare the shit out of Roman in his beaaauuutiful castle...I should write that down!” Remus said and snapped a torn up notebook into his hand along with a pen. He poked himself in the thumb with said pen and used his blood as a filling, writing down three or four lines. Virgil could see only a few words (Remus wasn’t known for his amazing handwriting), but even with the words he did see, he knew that maybe he should stop by Roman’s room afterwards and tell him that he probably shouldn’t stay in the imagination during the next full moon. He pulled the dress out of the closet and checked them. Everything seemed to be fine, but one can never be too careful, so he checked the inside as well and grabbed a tape measure, measuring Remus’ chest, hips and waist. After he was sure everything was fine, he gave him the dress. Remus looked at them and actually stayed silent for a while, so Virgil counted it as a win on his part. Remus then jumped into the dress and got tangled up in the cloth, falling to the ground. Virgil snickered, helped him up and untangled him, moving the dress so that they would fit better. After he was done he turned around and gave Remus a pair of shoes to go along with the dress and when he put them on, turned to look at him. He nodded to himself. Re looked good. The dress was made from a lot of different layers of green cloth, each of them in their own shade of the colour. They were short, only going down towards the knees, but one part of the dress were black leggins, which went all the way down. The skirt was layered and looked like a flower, with multiple layeres of green in the bottom and a black overcoat on the top; the top of the dress was made from black leather with neon green laces tightening it. The sleeves were puffed and made from two types of cloth - a silky dark green that made up the sleeve and a seethrough lime green on top, slightly scrunched up. Neither the sleeves nor the skirt would be restraining any movement, so they were both pretty and practical. The boots that went with them were tall and black going almost all the way up to the knees and they had neon green laces - they looked the same as the top of the dress. They had platforms, but no heels, again, made to slay with style (and slay dragon witches without tripping over something, it is Remus we are talking about). Remus’ eyes actually sparkled when he saw how he looked in said dress and he twirled around, laughing when the skirt spinned. Yes, he was obnoxious, loud, had a very specific style and most of his thoughts and ideas were gross, but that didn’t mean that he hated looking cute. He was actually very soft, but he rarely let anyone see that. Virgil been knew tho. Like, what would you expect? He grew up with him and even though they were supposed to hate each other now, they were still best friends. And that won’t change. There was this one night, a pretty long time ago, Virgil still lived with the ‘Dark Sides’ and he and Remus were sitting in a tree, laughing about some new prank they pulled on Janus (hence why they were in a tree and not inside), when Remus looked at Virgil and told him: “You’re my brother, right? You might not be Roman, we might not be related, but you’re my brother!” And Virgil, even though he was a bit surprised by this, responded with a “Yep!” And that hasn’t changed.

Tags: @nyamafriend @exhaustedauthor @definietlynotsatan

#virgil sanders #remus sanders #platonic dukexiety #svs redux #singing #just dance #boys in dresses #what even is this #idk man #a little bit of fluff #brothers from another mothers #lol #don’t know how to put that sentence in plural

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cynthiaandsamus · 3 years

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Custom Toonami Block Week 69 (Nice) Rundown

Code Geass: So this episode is kind of a ride, like fuck. We kinda yadda yadda how Lelouch fucking escaped from Nunally’s sinking airship and just have Rolo sitting over him in bed kind of conflicted that he’s still stuck on his old little sister, so therefore he programs the tvs in Lelouch’s train to blast Nunally’s appointment but it’s funny because he probably didn’t even have to do that because directly after that Lelouch runs into the station and Nunally shit is just everywhere, like I get it’s a metaphor but it’s just funny that Rolo had to plan for him to run into something Nunally-related only for him to run out of the plan and run into ten times more Nunally shit. Then we get Kaguya claiming herself, Kallen and CC as Zero’s harem directly followed by a depressed Lelouch hypnotizing a bunch of street punks to exercise, about to do drugs and asking to fuck Kallen, like this episode is fucking ridiculous and parts are hilariously contrived, thankfully Kallen slaps the shit out of him and Rolo’s like “yo bro we don’t need that bitch, come on and live it up in this ridiculously racist system and the one place where it’s slightly less racist with me” and then they go back to school and have the “Happiness is Like Glass” scene which is genuinely amazing and moving, like for all the weird zany stuff that happens in the first part of this episode, this is a little oasis of pure sincerity and quality where Lelouch makes a promise he knows he won’t be able to keep. Inspired by this amazing moment, Lelouch returns to the Black Knights with the thought of “Maybe there are other reasons to destroy an oppressive dictatorship aside from my one ridiculously crippled sister” which he probably should’ve thought of before. And then he defeats Suzaku’s navy with the power of FUCKING BUBBLES, like yeah, this episode is right back to being crazy ridiculous but Lelouch is back and wants in on Nunally’s special zones… okay, phrasing.

Inuyasha: So we open with a scene of Kagome playing cards with Miroku which is genuinely adorable if pointless, but it just makes me laugh that Miroku and Sango seem to know all the rules of the game but are still stumped when Kagome tells them they’re Playing Cards, probably a culture thing. Anyway, Inuyasha has to kill a Barrier Demon to get the power to break barriers, which is a bit of a conundrum because Barrier Demons have, you know, barriers, which Inuyasha currently cannot break. Worse still said demon is a little girl and a half-demon like Inuyasha which understandably puts him in quite a quandary. Inuyasha does his usual thing of “Let’s just go in swinging and figure out the rest later but Shiori’s grandfather deflects the admittedly cool-looking Water Wind Scar Inuyasha throws at them with Shiori’s barrier. Shiori’s mom is all “Gimme back my daughter you said you’d stop attacking us if I let you have her” and he’s all like “Well make me, I have a fucking barrier and can hold you hostage” so everyone’s generally pissed off about the situation and Shiori’s granddad with the long name sends all the bat demons to go destroy the village which makes no fucking sense because the only reason she’s still cooperating is so they won’t hurt her mom, without her she has no reason to keep doing it but I guess he’s hoping having nothing to live for will make her do what he says out of nihilism or some shit.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Yusuke gets to face off against Suzaku, the final boss of the Saint Beasts and the gang get to demonstrate the teamwork lessons from this arc by doing a reenactment of the jumping Bahamut scene from Advent Children so Yusuke can get up the tower to fight him. It’s really pretty cool how they splice in Keiko’s Day of the Dead montage with Yusuke fighting Suzaku, tying things together thematically and culiminating in Yusuke and Keiko both fucking decking their opponents. I also really like how Yusuke’s so confident Keiko won’t go down to a zombie hoard so easily, like she’s not a fighter but she’s smart and has got guts so he’s pretty sure she can last a while while he pretends to punch Suzaku with his shoes. Overall a really good start to the fight that means Yusuke still has to wiggle his way out after using his Spirit Gun already and Suzaku still has a lot of shit to pull.

Fate Zero: So Saber and Lancer do their fight and there’s a bunch of fightnobabble talk that someone who’s actually held a weapon in their life would probably enjoy but to me is just “Oooh cool jabbies, flashing lights” which is still fun. Basically everyone’s watching though, Kirei has his ninja squad on the job, Kiritsugu’s Black Ops is monitoring things and Iskander is watching from the Radical Highway Bridge from Sonic Adventure 2. Eventually Iskander is like “Well damn they might kill each other if this keeps up” and Waver’s like “yeah duh.” And Iskander shows who wears the booty shorts in this relationship by storming into the fight against Waver’s wishes cause he wants to fight everyone anyway. So yeah, giant lightning chariot in the middle of this First Boss battle.

Konosuba: Now that the party’s all formed the group settle into a daily routine of Kazuma being Megumin’s wheels for her Explosion training, Aqua being a waitress and Darkness doing… probably better not to think about what Darkness is doing. Anyway, Megumin bombs the shit out of a Dullahan’s castle and before the Dullahan can call his friend Celty to come kick her ass, Darkness gets hit with a death spell and he issues a challenge to Megumin to come to the tower of the Four Saint Beasts and (wait wrong anime again) but Aqua just breaks the curse on her own and they just don’t bother showing up. In the manga this is really funny because Aqua’s in a maid outfit from her waitress job and just does it like it’s nothing and then they show a panel later of the Dullahan waiting for them like “The fuck when are they getting here…”.

Sailor Moon Crystal: So for some reason even though we only have three of the five Sailor Guardians, Luna decides this is the time to give a recap and reintroduce our protagonists for the first part of this episode. Anyway there’s a big party to celebrate a dated princess Di reference that’s kind of in poor taste at this point and Usagi and friends get in based solely on having fancy dresses and being hot, man I had no idea getting in with rich people was that easy. Anyway, Usagi gets a new tiara because of love and shit and gets an upgraded Ancient Egyptian Laser Beam from the moon. The Four Kings show up to be all “Ha-ha! You defeated my demon but now there’s all four of us and even though we still think you have the crystal and outnumber you and there will never be a moment when you’re weaker than this we will now… LEAVE FOR NO REASON!” like the logic of people in this show oh my fucking god. But of course the dated princess reference’s treasure isn’t the crystal they’re looking for and Tuxedo Mask kisses Sailor Moon while she’s asleep which is definitely sexual assault there was no fucking consent there, I don’t care if they’re moon soul mates or whatever she barely knows who he is and wasn’t conscious. But yeah Luna calls him out on his shit and despite clearly being an ally he has to be all edgy and be like “Well maybe I’m a friend, maybe I’ an enemy, who knows~” because I think he gets his power from how mysterious he is, like he’s going to be utterly useless if anyone figures out who he is, not to mention Luna already knows his identity but for some reason doesn’t tell Usagi. Idk man I just have a hard time following the logic of this fucking show…

Durarara!!: So yeah, this is the “The Yagiri Family is fucked” episode Namie has a weird fucked up brocon yandere thing going on, Seiji’s an asshole that because of having two stalker yanderes going after him has become a fractured manchild that thinks love is everything and pretends he knows shit but knows less shit than pretty much everyone around him and has his sister do all the shit for him. But yeah, Celty sees Seiji with the girl with her head and freaks out, and Shinra A DOCTOR if you remember says “Hey maybe your head just attached itself to a corpse Parasyte style” like either he’s a terrible doctor and really thinks that or this is a smokescreen to make Celty think her head has moved on and she should too which is a fucked up level of gaslighting. But yeah, Mikado takes Head Girl, Seiji keeps stabbing people with pens for some reason, luckily it’s mostly Shizuo so it doesn’t do anything, and Izaya’s just like “oh shit, chaos, I’m down”. Basically everyone is awful in this episode except for Mikado who just wants to help and doesn’t know shit, Celty who’s doing her best, and Shizuo who’s just awesome as usual.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Code Geass #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Fate Zero #Konosuba #Sailor Moon Crystal #Durarara!!

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fizzingwizard · 3 years

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;______; just heard that from September we’re gonna have three students in our cluster who are under 1 year old... (5 in the school total)

aaahhh im exhausted just thinking about it

and whats crazy is in one of the classes with under 1 yos there is a kid who is between 1-2 yo and she cannot walk yet. We have been trying to help her learn and have begun wondering if there is some reason beyond her mother just didn’t really encourage her to walk before. (Like maybe she needs leg braces etc.) So far no news on that but this kid only drags her feet around, obviously she needs constant help, and there are 12 other kids in the class, two of whom are under 1 and three teachers, HOW are they supposed to do it???

and the class that will have three under 1s has two first year teachers in it, that makes me so nervous... They’re both awesome coworkers, this is no shade on them, but under 1s can be TOUGH, it’s SO easy for them to get hurt. idk it feels like an accident waiting to happen.

i’ve been at schools where 5 students was an entire class, if we’re gonna have this many under 1s we should just have a class for them, come on! I love them but they are twice the work of kids on year older than them.

Also the recommended teacher-student ration for 1-3 yos is 1:6, which we abide by, but I believe it’s actually 1:3 or 1:4 when the kids are belong 18/12 mos. Apparently the head office does not care.

These kids are not in my class, I currently teach 2-3s, however I am a long care teacher and I look after them during morning and after care. I do their nap and their snack and play time supervision etc. From 10-2 they’re part of their class, but the rest of the day they belong to all of us.

More work ranting under the cut because I guess I just need to vent to the air.

And we have a LOT of students now - two clusters of going on 30 in each, in very small classrooms where the teachers are expected to watch them like a hawk AND keep constantly busy with numerous tasks at the same time.

Plus our prep time has been cut down this year despite additional work getting put on us, and we have no extra help.

If one teacher is out sick, no one gets prep time.

Don’t remember if I whined about this before, but a month or so ago we had a meeting in which the leader said “If you find you don’t have enough prep time, that’s on you to manage your time better.” It was super condescending and annoying. I’m like, dude, my contract says I get 1 hour prep and 1 hour break. We never ever EVER get the full two hours (and I should mention this is never consecutive, it’s 15 min here, 30 min there, 1 full hour if you’re really lucky). It’s usually at most 1 hr 45. But a 30 min break is fine! I’d love to take a 30 min break. Almost never do. Way too busy.

Like, I won’t get into it, but the laundry list of Stuff To Do recently has been ENORMOUS. In my class, I have 19 students. One of my co-teachers is part time, meaning she’s not around to help during much of prep time, and the other is a leader meaning she’s constantly in meetings or doing leader assignments. They are both fantastic co-workers, but yeah, this means I do ALL the class stuff. I prepare all the crafts, I do a ton of the organizing, and I’m often the only teacher from my class available in the afternoons because part-time teacher went home and leader teacher is in a meeting. So I end up with a lot of the after care stuff.

We have to hand out these big projects that teachers are responsible for preparing for each student on 8/16. We know these are coming and prep for them as soon as possible, but like, I won’t get into this either lol, but it’s so hard. It’s time-consuming by itself, and made worse because all the school computers are crap (like takes-15-min-to-start, another 10 to open the browser, 5 to go to the website, then it freezes, then 5 more, another freeze, etc) and like you have 15 min break time hahahahaha.

I wanted to get such a head start that I just started doing what I could back in the beginning of the year but we lit can’t do the bulk of the work until a certain kind of envelope is delivered and that doesn’t come till summer for some stupid reason. Soooo our long prep days in April when there are no kids around... can we use those to prep for this project? Heck no!

Anyway. This year’s is due on 8/16. This coming week we are off for obon break. This year also, the company is doing the project slightly differently. Instead of staggering what class gives out their projects to their students when, we all have to do it at once. We are our company’s biggest school, sooo my honest thought is no one at the head office thought about us when they made this change. The other schools don’t have to stagger anyway, they have at most two classes. We have four.

So this means everyone is printing their projects at the same time. For one student, you need 10 sheets on A3 paper. For my class of 19, that is 190 sheets of paper. For four classes, we’re over 700 sheets total. THAT IS A LOT OF PAPER.

So I get to work this morning and boss says “Yeah so we’re out of A3 paper.”

!!!

IT’S DUE MONDAY.

There was a little bit left so I just charged and printed as much of my stuff as I could in the morning before anyone else could. Then, miraculously, another packet of A3 paper appeared out of nowhere, and we were able to print most of the rest of our students’ projects. (My coworker who is a leader has not printed hers yet because she is super busy and isn’t finished. Again, she’s an awesome coworker, I wish I could have helped her more, but uh, I’m also swamped and not taking breaks, so. Hopefully she can do it before we really do run out of A3 paper.)

Getting more paper is no big deal, it’s just that no one has the time, and this is due Monday.

So I was super stressed. Sooooo super stressed for such a dumbbbb reason. And I don’t understand why these projects have to go out on Monday anyway. Some kids don’t even come to school on Mondays. Like. Just make sure they get them next week, isn’t that good enough?? Why make us stress and panic.

Everyone else seemed fine though, I was the only one tearing my hair out because I’m the type who finishes everything a day early so I have a day to check it over... I am not spontaneous and I hate to rush...

I lit told my coworkers, because regardless of the paper situation we are still behind because we have not had any time to organize the projects, that I will just stay late tomorrow to do it. It’s the Friday before a break so I don’t mind too much. I am really tired tho and would of course rather just go home and sleep but. I’ve done this before. Finishing up this project will take 1.5 hours - 2 hours at the current state it’s in, IF I can just sit down and do it uninterrupted. (Have I mentioned these projects are HEAVY?? And there’s 19 of them?? It’s a big job just to take them out and start putting them together >.<)

So tomorrow evening that is what I will likely be doing -.-;

There are INNUMERABLE other STUPID parts of this project - the idea behind it is great, but the way we are required to make it is absolutely bonkers and desperately needs a revamp but does anyone listen to a preschool teacher? heck no lol

uggh.

I feel better after venting tho.

I like my job, I just wish humans in general gave a shit, not even about quality of life (since obvs that’s expecting too much lol, also as a person with privilege I’m aware I’ve already got it pretty darn good), but just about not making jobs that are ridiculous. Just plan them out better, sheesh. There’s no reason for all this running around. The projects don’t need to be printed. Or they don’t need to be so huge. They don’t need all this fuss and nonsense. They are a good idea, but we could do them in a way that would be sooo much less stressful.

(The funniest part of all being, it’s a project for the parents mainly, and the parents... don’t like it x’D No they really don’t. They are happy to have the project, but first they’ve got to get it home, and it is HUGE and HEAVY and UNWIELDY lmao. And some of them are carrying twin 2 year olds and both of their futons home as well, and we’re like “here you go, two giant projects for you to take home!” And the parents are like “thanks????”)

#fizz's life #work

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martinskis-lydias · 4 years

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🤤😂🥰I rewatched Wolf Moon yesterday (honestly it’s been a while) and I had some thoughts

hot start to a pilot episode tbh: police radio and dogs, phenomenal; good song playing when you see scott in his room

pull ups, yes, thank you

Scott’s sink is kinda gross? like rusty and shit idk it bugs me every time i see it

But look how cute! a soft boy and his fluffy hair! I kinda love his fluffy hair, but I do like his hair shorter in later seasons

the jaw too, i LOVE posey’s jaw

love that he was ready to fight a predator barefoot also ICONIC STILES ENTRANCE

This interaction is prime Sciles

Scott is always portrayed as the dumb friend (and yes Scotty has done some dumb stuff I will admit) but he’s the one of the two of them that questions what they’re doing and what could possibly go wrong so... maybe not that dumb

they’re trying to hide from the police: stiles loudly running through the woods, scott yelling “Stiles!” pretty loudly (immediately makes me question the thoughts on either of their intelligence)

And why didn’t Scott just admit he was there in the woods with Stiles? What could the Sheriff do that was worse than being stranded in the woods at night with no ride home?

The CGI deer and flying inhaler were just 👌

Also don’t know if Posey’s doing it on purpose but I love the asthmatic breathing as he’s walking through the woods

And i’m soRRY BUT HOW DID HE NOT NOTICE THE BODY ALMOST IMMEDIATELY IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING DARK

His back hitting that tree when he fell down that little hill had to have hurt, it looked really hard

Why did Peter look like he did as the Alpha but Derek and Scott never did? and yes i know they started insinuating that Scott might end up getting there but is it just that murder makes you look more like a monster? am I missing something?

Baby Colton! Jackson’s a dick but I fucking love Colton

STILES WEARING A TSHIRT, A HOODIE, AND A SUIT JACKET JUST WTF why did the costume dept keep putting him in suit jackets the first few episodes?

is it just me or is this principicals suit way too big? apparently i’m a snob about suits

literally the first time i saw Crystal i was in LOVE she’s gorgeous

Lydia’s outfit 🥰

Who is this girl that’s friends with Scott and Stiles? Where did she go?

(Stiles thinks Allison is hot hello Stallison feels)

Posey’s hat hair is so fucking cute

THE LACROSSE! COBRASTYLE MONTAGE! JACKSON STOPPING A PLAYER WITH HIS STICK FOR THE DRAMA!

Lydia and Jackson have such a toxic relationship 🙃 and i hate it honestly

Scott gets enhanced senses and immediately thinks he’s dying: a mood

why does stiles know off the top of his head when the full moon is? i couldn’t fucking tell you when the full moon is ever unless i looked at a calendar

STEREK STEREK STEREK

Hoechlin’s cheekbones - hello sir

also his eyebrows

you ever think about the fact that Derek can hear Stiles just casually mention the massacre of his family like that? and that this probably happens a lot when he first gets back in town?

Posey’s hair is so inconsistent in this episode it’s kinda hilarious

So... did those cats just not get fed that night?

“She’s just frightened” “That makes two of us”

that dramatic head tilt when Scott glows his eyes at the dog in the trunk

also that dog is SO CUTE

this scene is so cheesy but it’s so cute

“Tougher’n that” IDK WHY BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT THERE IS KATE ARGENT

AGAIN with Scott not being as stupid as everyone thinks he is! just throwing out a word like litigious? Nah man my boy is smart

I wish “Definitely yes” became a bigger thing with them idk

POSEY’S BUTT WHEN CLIMBING THAT LITTLE HILL ON ALL FOURS

Posey in a pool, Russel with the hose, iconic

“Where. Are you getting. Your jUiCe?” “...My mom does all the grocery shopping” Literally one of my favourite scenes

Coach pulling Scott aside to say he made first line is such a bad scene but i love Orny so much and Scotty boy’s lil smile is so cute

Stiles “researching” 😂

Why is Stiles’ bed at such a weird angle?

Melissa Ponzio is fucking GORGEOUS

Did ppl actually go to a highschool party like this? Or was I just a hug loser?

Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that guy in purple hoodie dancing Dylan?

Scott couldn’t walk straight but got in his car and drove home i mean...

DEREK IN HIS LEATHER JACKET 🤤

You can’t tell me that a small part of Allison wasn’t a little thrilled that such a hot guy drove her home, no matter how annoyed she was at Scott

Scott wearing pants in the shower; the fake hand; phenomenal

I like the first show of his fangs though! they were good fangs, and he had a cute lil lisp

Scott jumping to it being Dere after literally seeing him twice is a bit of a leap (yes Derek is a werewolf but Scott goes way past that and assumed that because he seemed a little sketchy or mean he must have murdered that girl??)

The dramatic jump out the window and landing in the puddle

i’m really glad they changed the look of Scott’s shift a bit? idk i just didn’t like it

awkwardly running on all fours through the woods

Victoria just looks so affronted at the sight of Stiles lol

CHRIS JUST TURNING AND WHIPPING OUT THE GUN YES (i have a thing for Chris)

derek just say you didn’t bite Scott you dumbass

“The bite is a gift... we’re brothers now”

Why hadn’t Stiles changed by the time he picked up Scott? What had he been doing all night?

Let Stiles be excited you’re a werewolf Scotty boy, someone has to be

YO i remember seeing the Chris being Allison’s father reveal the first time and being absolutely FLOORED

Honestly I love the Pilot episode, it’s so good

I mean, there are parts that are bad or cheesy or whatever but I still love it?? probably the nostalgia

#teen wolf rewatch #teen wolf #liveblog #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #derek hale #allison argent #lydia martin #jackson whittemore #melissa mccall #sheriff stilinski #chris argent #victoria argent #kate argent #tw: 1x01 #tw: wolf moon #shut up alex

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five-wow · 5 years

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now that i’ve had at least twenty-four hours to let the news of the impending end of our show sink in, here is my disjointed post with thoughts, to add to the wealth of voices already out there:

this is probably not a surprise and definitely not something nobody has said before, but i do think it’s important to be said, first and foremost: i am sad about this!! and that is okay and i fully understand and respect this decision by the cast and crew, but that doesn’t necessarily make it less sad.

i’m also very anxious about the sudden countdown. five episodes left to go feels very suddenly very limited for a show that always felt kind of endless to me. i thought i was looking at an ocean stretching towards the horizon and instead what’s left is a puddle. (by which i don’t mean anything bad about the remaining episodes - i have no negative feelings towards puddles. puddles could potentially be wonderful.)

related to the previous point, i’m only realizing now that i fully expected them to push this show into an eleventh (and probably twelfth) season come hell or high water, even if scott might have left (which always seemed like the more likely option than alex needing a break). so even though this is not really a surprise, it is more of one than i would have thought. (at the same time, it should be said that i’m very glad they didn't go the route i thought they would take. it's an unpleasant surprise to see the show end, but it’s also a strangely reassuring one, though it may take some time yet to fully feel the benefits of that over the more immediate sadness.)

to bring something a little more positive into this: i’m very excited for the cast and crew to be able start a new chapter their lives after this! it’s sad to see a thing end, and very emotional after it’s been in some cases a full decade of their lives and careers, but change is good and human and healthy.

not the most salient point, but it does make more sense to me now that we suddenly got irrefutably canon and together tani/junior. maybe that would have happened regardless, i don’t know (they have been building towards it for much longer, obviously), but it still seemed pretty “boom, there it is” to me in the end, because i expected them to draw things out even longer because i don’t think they wanted to write a show where two main characters are happily dating each other even though obviously they have been doing exactly that with steve and danny, but they don’t know that, so sshh.

another story thing: i SO HOPE this news means we get to end the show with steve and danny single and living together. THAT IS ALL I ASK FOR. ALL. I. ASK. FOR.

as a fic writer, this whole thing is making me a little anxious because a) new canon content is good to get the creative juices flowing and b) there is always a surge in readership after an episode airs. with no new episodes so soon, i feel a weird kind of pressure to make the most of this last month of content that will get the fandom active in large groups at specific times, even though that’s not something i’ve ever really taken into consideration while writing or posting fic before.

also, PLEASE show us grace again before the show ends!! she’s been very absent this season to the point where i’m not even entirely sure we’ve heard her name mentioned, let alone that we in any way know where she went to college or how she’s doing there.

same feelings about mary, to be honest. they’re both characters who have been a part of this show since all the way back in the very early episodes of season 1, and they’re also both very important people to steve and danny.

it’s been said, but i’m just. so so sad this thing i really enjoyed and that has been something i spent hours and weeks and months of my life with is now coming to an end. throughout all the other thoughts, that’s definitely one that keeps coming back.

but at the same time, i’m also strangely excited for the idea of series codas, because those are the only kind where no canon content will ever come along and tell us we were mistaken in assuming steve and danny finally figured their shit out. once canon is done, we will have complete free reign. (i’m assuming here that both steve and danny survive the series finale, because killing either of them off would honestly be a very bad way to end ten seasons of making us like them imo, but it would still be true regardless of whether they’re alive in canon. fix-it fic, yo.)

as down as i am, i do also keep returning to the near certainty that it’s better if they quit at a point where there is still some heart to this show left, instead of milking it until it's a walking husk of a thing that nobody recognizes. i’m thankful for that.

BUT ALSO. season 10 was SO GOOD so far. i was genuinely excited for this shift that they seemed to have made from season 9, so it's a little heartbreaking to feel like they're quitting just when things were looking up. (again, though, also a good thing in a strange way.)

totally different approach: i’m glad we're all being respectful about this whole thing! that is wonderful to see and just, generally, thank you all for being cool people.

i’m also grateful i haven't seen anyone say we need to fight to revive the show, especially because this seems to have been a decision made at least in part by alex for his health, which just. it’d be very bad to try to lobby for more in this kind of situation, but it sometimes seems like campaigns to reverse a cancellation have become a set part of the end of very nearly every show with an active fandom. i was a little scared to see that kind of thing here, but it hasn’t happened as far as i know, and that’s good.

in the end, idk, it just continues to be such an odd thing to have a show you love end. it feels like something died, but nothing really did (we still have ten seasons of content, and that’s not going to go away!) and nobody around me irl really shares that feeling, which is a little awkward. i'm in a weird mourning phase where i keep being reminded of The Sad Thing by little stuff and i feel a pang every time, but i can't keep going "this reminds me of h50" over and over and over, because i do that enough on a normal day as is, and it really doesn't need to be tripled. for that reason more than ever, i'm grateful for this fandom, and, weird as it may sound on the surface, grateful to see all of you be sad, too. it takes away the feeling of loneliness it would have carried with it otherwise, and it soothes the sting, and just generally helps process things.

so thank you. let’s make something wonderful out of this last hurrah for the show and characters, and, obviously, there is nothing to stop fandom even after canon is over. what’s left of the show may be a puddle, but fandom really is that ocean with no visible limits, and that should be some small consolation. ❤

#h50 #i feel like this post goes in circles but that's also what my brain is doing so i wouldn't know how to uncircle it at the moment #anyway #MANY HUGS FOR ALL OF YOU #*

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kinetic-elaboration · 5 years

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February 23: Writing Projects - Help?

I’m really floundering in terms of what I should be writing, since I’ve finished the Clarke/Maya draft and I apparently can’t work on my Bellarke fic right now. So I’m writing out potential ideas partly for myself, and partly to outsource the process--which is to say I’m not expecting assistance but I would welcome assistance.

Any thoughts, tumblr? Anything you would like to see me actually finish and post? Anyone want to talk writing in general?

I have put this in a random order so as not to give away any of my own thoughts re: priorities.

Or Anyone Like You - Bellarke. Modern AU in which Bellarke have a stereotypical summer romance, and then later Clarke returns to the scene of the crime to Reminisce.

This is a series of writing exercises that almost has a plot. It’s supposed to be lowkey but somehow it’s been literally over a year since I worked on it.

oh well you’ve got me under your spell (chapter 2) - Bellarke. All the cliches: high school au, best friend’s brother, pining.

I loved this fic with my whole heart and fully intended to continue it but I got stuck and couldn’t unstick myself and now it’s like the Grail of writing. I have some plans/outlines/whatever but it’s not cooperative.

A Watch With No Hands Interlude - Bellarke. A canon-divergent AU in which the Ark stations come down all at once. Bellamy escapes Alpha Station to look for his sister and the rest of Prison Station, and runs into Grounder!Clarke and her peaceful, art-loving clan. Part One was my Bellarke Big Bang in 2019. It left off with Bellarke seeing flares from a potential Ark station.

The interlude is going to be two chapters and one has been written, the other outlined. I won’t post either until they’re both done. I haven’t worked on it in a long time and I’m a little intimidated by it, not just for that reason.

And They Lived: A Sleeping Beauty AU (chapter 5) - Bellarke. Clarke is Sleeping Beauty, trapped in the City of Light. Bellamy wakes her up.

I have the first two chapters up on AO3 and another two written in draft form, plus part of chapter five. There are only six chapters. I... don’t even know lol. It just feels like a mess.

The Party Fic - Various pairings. Modern/hs au. Nothing happens, I just wallow in my favorite style.

This is super self-indulgent and I don’t know if I’ll ever post any of it. Nevertheless I wrote one whole chapter of it and always thought it would be fun to write another.

Sequel to Where I’ll Spend Through Winter - Bellarke. A modern AU that’s basically just them pining for each other, a lot. In the sequel, Bellamy pines yet more, and Clarke (appears to?) move on.

This is the fic I’m fucking stuck on.

All Pair Challenge - various pairings, each stand alone. I’ve been working on this series for over a year and I’m literally 7 away from finishing.

Bellarke Bingo: Love Potion: Bellarke (unsurprisingly). The Blake siblings own a weird-stuff-and-antiques shop. Clarke takes a love potion and falls in love with Bellamy.

I have this mostly outlined but it has a lot of Issues, and I’m having a hard time figuring out both how to fix those issues, and how to start.

South - Murven. A modern AU in which Murphy and Raven take a road trip, stay in a bed and breakfast, share a bed, and maybe eventually make it to their destination.

Like Or Anyone Like You, this is in the form of a series of writing exercises, but it almost wants to become a real fic. I’m shocked by how long it’s been since I last wrote it.

Dual Timeline Fic: Jonty. Two stories--in one! A modern AU in which Monty can’t figure out his feelings and a canon-divergent AU in which both Monty and Jasper end up in the bunker and Monty still can’t figure out his feelings.

This one is straight up From the Vault lol. I haven’t worked on it in ages and I have no idea what happens next but I do like what I had.

Bellarke Exes - Bellarke. Clarke returns to town with her new boyfriend but her relationship with Bellamy remains complicated.

I’ve been working on this one off and on for a while. I continue as long as it works and then abandon it as soon as I get stuck.

The Marriage Fic - Jonty and Bellarke. Fluffy modern AU, est. relationship Jonty react to Bellarke wedding.

I only wrote one scene that I actually like but basically it’s the self-indulgent fluff universe that makes me happier when I’m sad.

Never-Contented Things! - Octaven. My original idea for the first round of Chopped 1.0. Raven works in a coffee shop. Octavia is a fairy who follows her home from work.

I have a decent idea of the Feel of this universe, plus an outline, but I want to do it justice, which is an intimidating prospect.

There’s Only One Bed!: Jonty. This is a request. I have no ideas for whatsoever other than what it says on the tin.

Autumn ‘Verse: Various pairings. Indescribable, in part because this fic has been 20 million different things over time. I realize this isn’t helpful. It’s sorta magical, maybe, and there might be ghosts?

Ark AU: Various pairings, including Bellarke, Wellven, Briller. The Ark never ran out of oxygen, and the delinquents are out of the Sky Box and trying to make lives for themselves. Some politics, some Law Nonsense.

This is a freaking epic and I’m having a good time planning it but will it ever be written? Other than the first two scenes? Idk.

Chopped: Maya and Octavia: For Chopped 2.0 Round 1 (?). Lexa doesn’t take Dante’s deal, and the Sky People/Grounder alliance destroys the Mountain. There are many casualties, but some survivors, and now no one knows what to do. I call it the “Maya and Octavia” fic because I had this idea they’d be the two main characters.

I don’t really want to write yet more MW and/or Maya fic right now but this one is tempting because I have this idea (lol) that it will be short?

Chopped: Briller: A reject from a round I didn’t write for, I think 1.0 Round 2? The one with the time loop. Farm Station takes over Mount Weather, then secedes from Arkadia. Briller are exes.

This one fell to the bottom of the pile once I decided I didn’t want to write a time loop or otherwise use the Chopped tropes for it. So now it’s just a universe, no plot. But I had fun writing Briller again recently so I’m wondering if I should resurrect it.

Frog Sounds: Jasper, Maya, Monty, Raven, Bellarke. The first four visit the last two in the woods.

I wrote this series initially just for some Atmosphere Practice / Nostalgia and then I just kept going. And then I stopped again. But sometimes I think I’d like to write more of it.

#the 100 #the year 2020 #2020: writing projects #this isn't even everything everything it's just what i could describe lol

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kae-karo · 5 years

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like i’m bakugou (a todobaku fic)

hbd to todoroki, our favorite deadpan humor conspiracy theorist icyhot boye

like i’m bakugou - 2.1k

baku takes todo on a froyo date

tags: todobaku, fluff, getting together, first date sorta, crack treated seriously (but was it ever crack to begin with idk)

if you haven't heard the song (x) go listen to it then watch this tik tok (x) which was the inspo for this fic

dedicated to my wife @dabidevito who laughed so hard at that tik tok that she literally couldn't speak for several minutes (so obviously i had to write a fic abt it)

[read on ao3]

---------

Katsuki can’t help but fidget in his seat, and his hands tighten on the steering wheel - Icyhot’s been sitting in total silence for the entire drive so far, staring out the window like he’s deep in thought. It’s setting Katsuki on edge.

Well, even more on edge - he’s been nervous since the second he decided to suggest Todoroki come get frozen yogurt with him. A part of him had wondered if it was a weird suggestion, or if Icyhot would think it was weird, or if he just didn’t want to hang out with Katsuki at all. He’d stared at him for several seconds before responding, and Katsuki had been that close to taking it all back, playing it off as a joke.

But Todoroki said yes, didn’t he? So Katsuki’s just overthinking it, right?

They’re almost there, anyway. Besides, if everything goes downhill, he can just pretend it wasn’t meant to be a date at all. He hadn’t really specified, and neither had Todoroki - but if it goes well, how is he supposed to make sure Icyhot gets that it was a date?

He nearly jumps out the goddamn window when Todoroki starts mumbling something under his breath, and he can barely make out the words.

“Like I’m Bakugou, turn that shit into a fro- a fro…”

Katsuki frowns at the windshield, absolutely certain he’d heard wrong.

“Into a fro...yo…” He turns to find Todoroki’s eyes widening. “Like I’m Bakugou, turn that shit into a froyo- like, like a frozen yogurt?” He glances over at Katsuki, who’s now got his brows arched so high his forehead kind of hurts. Katsuki blinks.

“Like- like a frozen yogurt, right?” This. This is what Todoroki’s been so pensive about this entire drive? He’s been thinking about that stupid song, and- does he really think that’s how it goes? Katsuki coughs out a laugh, unable to help it - however he expected this car ride to go, this was not it.

Todoroki just stares him down, repeating the line again.

“Like a frozen yogurt, right?” Katsuki’s lost it completely, he can’t fight the laughter that keeps bubbling up in his throat at Icyhot’s insistence, and he glances over to find Todoroki’s lips have curled up in a grin himself. “What is it?” he asks, finally catching on that maybe, just maybe, those weren’t the right lyrics.

Katsuki takes a hand from the wheel and covers his mouth, doing his best to hide his grin - he can’t, he cannot right now. Icyhot can’t be serious, can he? But Todoroki’s just staring back at him with wide, expectant eyes.

“Do you know the lyrics?” Todoroki asks, and his smile falters, replaced with a confused look of concern. As if Katsuki wouldn’t know every word to the song that’s literally about him. He flicks on his turn signal - they’re finally at this damn froyo place.

“I know the lyrics.” He inhales a deep breath. “I’m gonna cry.”

Todoroki frowns, and Katsuki wonders if he’s taken that literally - he has a really hard time reading Icyhot’s lack of expressions, determining whether he’s serious or joking. But his earnestness here...he really thinks those are the lyrics, doesn’t he?

Katsuki’s not sure he can keep a straight face and walk into this froyo place. He’s not even sure he can get out of the car - he’s got an image to keep up, that he’s above everyone else, and breaking into a fit of laughter is definitely not the way to do that.

“Are we- are we going in?” Todoroki asks after a few moments - Katsuki’s turned the car off, but he’s still trying to steel himself to get out. ‘Turn that shit into a froyo’...he’s gonna lose his damn mind over this.

Without a word - mostly because his jaw is clenched in an attempt to keep from smiling - he opens the door and gets out. Todoroki does the same after a moment, and he walks beside Katsuki into the little shop.

He lets Katsuki order first, and all of Katsuki’s nerves rush back in - is this a date, and should he treat it like one? He wants to, but he has no idea what Todoroki’s thinking. He wishes the guy would give a little clearer indication about what’s going on in his head. Hell, he’d been stressed that Icyhot was regretting agreeing to come with Katsuki when he’d really been thinking about those stupid lyrics.

Unintentionally, Katsuki huffs out a breath of laughter. The employee gives him a quirked brow as he hands over Katsuki’s cup, so he fixes his face into a frown.

“Vanilla chocolate swirl,” Todoroki says the moment the guy’s moved on - Katsuki does his best not to laugh at Icyhot’s order.

He debates, very briefly, waiting to see if Todoroki will offer to pay for his own froyo, but he scraps the idea at the last second. He asked Icyhot out, he wants this to be a date. And he wants to pay. He wants to do little, simple, kind things for Todoroki. Things that nobody else would really notice or think twice about - he has a reputation to maintain, after all - but things that would mean something to Icyhot. He pulls a few bills from his wallet and hands them over before Todoroki can say anything.

Katsuki glances to the side to find Icyhot just staring, though he finally blinks when the cashier hands over the change. His lip quirks up in a tiny half-smile, then, and Katsuki’s heart flips over in his chest.

“Thank you, Bakugou.”

Katsuki doesn’t offer a response, too afraid that if he moves his mouth, it’ll turn into a wide grin and someone will think he’s gone soft. So he shrugs, whirls on a heel, and finds the table farthest from the door, tucked back in a corner where nobody will likely notice them.

The last thing he needs is some tabloid speculating about him and Icyhot - or worse, some of their classmates. It’s exhausting being both in the public eye and under the scrutinizing gaze of all of 1-A. Bunch of damn gossips.

“So really...” Todoroki interrupts his simmering frustration, and Katsuki looks up to find Icyhot’s got his spoon halfway to his mouth, head tilted. “What are the lyrics? Is it not about frozen yogurt?”

Katsuki sputters out a laugh, then digs into his own mint chocolate chip and shakes his head.

“No, no it isn’t.”

-------

Katsuki is left feeling...weird.

They’d talked a little bit about inconsequential things, like the lyrics of that damn ‘Bakugou’ song and about class work and the upcoming exams, but mostly it’d been eating in silence. But it’d been a nice kind of silence - the kind he doesn’t get when he’s in the dorms or class or at home.

Except he’s still not sure if it was a date or not.

Todoroki hadn’t said much and had gotten out of the car without much more than a ‘thanks’ and a half smile, and Katsuki can’t even tell if he had had a nice time or not - Katsuki did, or he thinks he did, anyway.

And now it’s been nearly twenty four hours of wondering, and he’s no closer to an answer. Katsuki pushes through the door and into the classroom, surrounded by prying eyes and loose lips, and he has a hard time deciding how to act. Icyhot looks just as cool and indifferent as he always does, but he catches Katsuki’s eye before looking back at his desk.

Katsuki doesn’t smile, but fuck he really wants to.

If he were to ask Todoroki to have lunch with him, would that be too much too quickly? It’s only been a day, and he doesn’t really know what’s going on in that guy’s head. Besides, what if he’s got other plans?

Not that Katsuki’s ever seen him have lunch with anyone, but his head swirls with doubt and confusion.

“Bakugou.” Aizawa’s voice makes him jump, and he looks up to find not only their teacher but the entire class now staring at him. “Care to enlighten us?”

Katsuki blinks - he’s been too spaced out to know what they’re talking about, he can’t even remember what topic they’re covering. He can feel his face flush with heat. He doesn’t have any notes either, and his eyes flick back up to find Aizawa’s hard stare boring into him.

“I believe it’s mentioned in the quirk laws, the subsection regarding quirk use in public.” Icyhot’s voice startles Katsuki, but he doesn’t dare turn around - he’s grateful, in a way, but he didn’t need saving. He’d rather have just taken the chastising for not paying attention.

“Thank you, Todoroki. Bakugou, whatever’s distracting you, figure it out. Exams are in a couple weeks, I’d hate to see you fail,” Aizawa deadpans. Katsuki has half a mind to call him out for worrying over something so fundamental and well-known as the quirk laws, but he’s too fired up and it’ll only get him in more trouble. He’d rather everyone forget this whole thing ever happened.

-----

“I didn’t need saving.” Katsuki catches up to Icyhot in the hall on the way to the cafeteria - it’s been simmering in his head for the entire class, though he made a point of paying extra close attention and taking extremely detailed notes. He’s better than everyone in that damn class and he won’t have Aizawa or anyone else forgetting it.

“No, you didn’t,” Todoroki says, voice even. “I just got bored of waiting for you to determine what was being asked and what the correct answer was.” He glances sideways at Katsuki, but his face is unreadable and emotionless. Bakugou can’t decide whether to punch him or kiss him.

He probably shouldn’t do either one.

“You should pay better attention.” Todoroki adds, and Katsuki swears his lip quirks up in a smirk for just a moment. He’s definitely leaning toward the ‘punch Icyhot’ option.

“Hey, Todoroki!” Katsuki flinches at Deku’s voice, and his frown deepens when that green-haired nerd bounds up beside Todoroki. “I was thinking, you wanna come join us for lunch? Uraraka and Iida and me,” he clarifies, and Katsuki can practically feel his chest folding in on itself.

If there’s anyone Todoroki would probably want to spend time with, it’d be Mr. ‘It’s your power!’ and his gang. Katsuki lets himself fall back a step, intent on getting away from this conversation - he doesn’t need the embarrassment or the irritation.

“Actually, I was going to sit with Bakugou,” Todoroki says, and Katsuki nearly trips over his own feet - Deku definitely does. He gives a small, startled ‘oh’ before casually adding they could get lunch another time, and Todoroki nods, an evident dismissal. Katsuki speeds his pace to catch back up with Icyhot, then does his best to stop his lips from grinning.

“Having lunch with me?” he asks, trying to keep the surprise out of his tone. “Pretty presumptuous of you.”

“I thought you wouldn’t mind,” Todoroki says, and Katsuki genuinely can’t tell if he’s concerned or just having a bit of fun. “Besides, I brought you something.” Katsuki’s brows scrunch together, but Todoroki doesn’t say anything more. Curiosity eats at Katsuki’s thoughts, but he’s not about to cave in to whatever reaction Icyhot is hoping to get from him.

So he waits until they’ve gotten food and Todoroki chooses a table, then Katsuki sits down with a thud.

“Alright Icyhot, I’ve been patient, what the hell did you bring me?” He’s a little surprised when Todoroki looks up from his tray, a small smirk on his lips. After a moment of stillness, he unbuttons his jacket and pulls one side open.

Katsuki stares for a solid second at the two cups of frozen yogurt nestled against his side, obviously kept cold by his quirk.

“I thought you might be interested in some froyo.” Todoroki gives him a real smile this time, one bordering on the edge of laughter.

Katsuki actually does sputter out a laugh, too overwhelmed with the sheer hilarity of the whole situation. A part of him worries that people will notice, but the vast majority of his brain tells him not to give a fuck - this is funny and he’ll laugh about it if he damn well pleases.

His laughter must be contagious, cause Todoroki dissolves into a fit of subdued giggles that takes him a while to recover from. When he finally does, he pulls both cups of frozen yogurt from his jacket and sets them on the table with a clunk.

“Next date,” Todoroki says, already removing the lid and spooning a bite into his mouth. Katsuki does his best not to react, but his heart rate triples in speed - so Todoroki had known it was a date, then. Icyhot points his spoon at Katsuki. “You’re teaching me all the lyrics, otherwise I’m just gonna keep thinking ‘like I’m Bakugou turn that shit into a froyo’.” Katsuki scoffs as he grabs his own cup.

“I don’t even know what the real lyrics are anymore, you’ve ruined it,” Katsuki shoots back. Todoroki just grins, the self-satisfied bastard, and lifts another bite of froyo to his lips.

#bnha #todobaku #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #fluff #bnha fics

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edelgoth · 5 years

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matchup commission

@seaweedsallyandhercacklingturtle (it won’t let me tag you for some reason?) thank you so so much for commissioning me!! i actually find it quite touching!!

i hope you enjoy it (i did my research so!! i hope i did a good job hhh), and if you have any issues or questions, do let me know. thank you once again!!

so, out of the royal siblings, your main match is...

xander!!

i’m a big fan of contrast in relationships, because i think it keeps things interesting and can encourage a ton of growth. and you and xander balance each other out quite well

firstly, you said that you’re very bubbly and optimistic. i think that would contrast delightfully with xander’s more somber, stern demeanour (this, of course, melts during alone time)

i think xander fits the bill when it comes to balancing out your fire; he complements you quite well, and as i said, you could encourage a lot of growth in one another. there’s much you can learn from each other!

dare i say, a power couple?

xander can be quite stubborn, so i think your open-mindedness could be good for him!! i think you could help him consider a different perspective every so often, and a very fresh one at that. and that’s something that could help him in every aspect of his life!!

conversely, i think he would be a good balance for your impulsiveness. xander seems to think through everything (at least from my perspective), and would likely encourage you to stop and consider whatever impulsive action you might be about to take

furthermore, because he’s so cautious, xander might be able to pick up on whether or not someone is untrustworthy before you do. but, he wouldn’t want you to stop being trusting; i think a lot of his cautiousness comes from being so world-weary. trusting too much often comes from a space of loving people wholeheartedly, and he wouldn’t want you to lose that

but, he’d probably prefer it if you deferred to his judgement when he decides someone really isn’t worth your trust

i think xander really needs to be spoiled every once in a while. he’s a hard worker, and he puts a lot on himself, and he doesn’t have the self-esteem to show for it. on top of it all, he’s also doing his best to be a good brother. i think how you go overboard with making your loved ones happy would be very meaningful for him; mayhaps, it makes him tear up from time to time? but do not tell the others

something that sticks out to me about xander is how he keeps notes on all the little details and interests of his siblings; you mentioned that you also keep a bit of a mental catalogue of details about people (favourite food, love language, etc.), and it think that’s an interesting trait you share!!

i think it’d make you both very thoughtful in your relationship, simply because you have similar approaches to loving people? if that makes sense?

and going off that, i think he’d be excellent at remembering the little things you like; every so often, he’d bring home your favourite flowers, or favourite food, usually coupled with an apology for working so late (because whether it’s in-game or au, you just know that xander is the type to work himself to the bone)

i think he’d love your creative side, and he’d be very encouraging

i think he’d find your goofiness and sense of humour endearing!! he’s quite straightforward himself, so i imagine there’d be some delightful contrast there. alternatively, i think he could be the type who has a surprisingly goofy sense of humour! either way, it works

he has a harder time grasping the self-depreciation, just because i feel like,,, he’s struggled with self-image in the past, and with feeling good about himself and his own abilities. so, when he hears you make a joke at your own expense, his instinctive reaction is to be like “NO you’re wonderful!” it’s charmingly sincere, even though you have to reassure him that it’s just a joke

i think it’s important to highlight that in elise and xander’s supports, it’s revealed that he acted as a surrogate father for her, giving her the support and love that garon didn’t. this links back to the point earlier about how he remembers details; i think you and xander just love in similar ways?

you’re both very loving and giving to the people who matter to you. and i think it’s something that would be a key foundation in your relationship

furthermore, i think it all points to how he can be very, very reassuring!! i think that’s just in his nature when he cares about someone

side note: i think he’d learn to love your brothers, as well!! he’s naturally more introverted, and may need the four of you to lead the conversation, but he’d make a sincere effort

side note on the side note: your people-person nature would help him out a bit!! while he’s definitely trained and taught himself to be more extroverted and more comfortable with people, he’d be relieved that he can defer to you sometimes

also thinks it’s really cute when he sees you with young children

i think he generally fits your profile of an ideal partner; first of all, as touched on several times above, he has the capacity to be very gentle and patient with his partner

and he’s definitely protective!! i think there’s a bit of a worry-wart in him

that being said, i think he could be encouraged to try out some of those more adrenaline-fuelled activities you enjoy. he might find trying them out calming, since he’ll probably understand what you’re actually getting yourself into

idk how tall you are, but xander has such tall energy. so, he’s the type to give those all-encompassing hugs that just swallow you up

and like honestly? i think he’s kind of touch starved; which means endless cuddles

i think the two of you would be able to understand what it means to have people walk over you. while xander is capable of standing his ground, his relationship with garon shows a different side of him. while it’s only his father who can push him around, xander would, at the very least, understand; and he’d be very harsh about the people who used you

definitely tells you to cut them out, or to stand up for yourself. if you feel you can’t do the latter, then he’s got some Words for them

i feel like xander would handle your seizures quite well? he’s a trained warrior, after all, and that means he’s good at thinking on his feet and responding in kind. it’s all very instinctual.

dotes on you forever after the fact. once his adrenaline-fueled response is over, he starts to freak out. he’ll stick by your side for the rest of the day, constantly bringing you water and snacks and blankets and whatever else you might ask for

it’s not that he hasn’t done his research, it’s just that i feel like he might,,, be the type to catastrophize when overwhelmed with information. because he cares about you, and because seizures are something he doesn’t quite understand, he tends to freak out a little

xander is quite busy, however, and sometimes he struggles to fit time for the two of you into his schedule

but, when he does get time with you, he goes all out. he pushes himself to remind you how much you matter to him, to encourage you to speak your mind, and to shower you with the care and attention that you show other people

those quiet moments he gets with you are his favourite, and whenever things are bearing down on him, he’ll recall them; and he’s always looking forward to the next time

i think he’s be very mindful with it if you told him about your emotional abuse and the toxic people in your past, tbh. because he knows that you haven’t been treated right, he’s going to go above and beyond to show you what you’re worth

whenever you two do have conflict (which i don’t think would be super common?), he’d still be mindful not to give you the silent treatment and to give you the space to speak your mind; he doesn’t want to put you through the very same

xander evaded me a bit when i tried to think of his mbti type, but i’m going to tentatively put him down as an istj

that’s not usually listed as a highly compatible type with infjs, but i perceive that as meaning that there’s a lot of growth and development that you could offer each other

i don’t have much to say on the point but please just imagine: xander, his arms overflowing with your three bunnies. that is all

as for your alternative matchups...

leo!!

i,,, kept changing my mind over which nohrian guy to match you with. kept flipping. i mean i chose xander but leo surely gave him a run for his money,,,

once again with the contrast; like xander, i think your personality complements leo quite well!!

you balance each other out, and honestly i think it’d be quite cute. you definitely have the “someone will die.” “of fun!” vibe going on

he’s more of a ‘behind the scenes’ kind of guy, whereas you’re the people-person. i think this can work quite well in a relationship (even when it comes to things like your forgetfulness -- leo takes notice of those details instead), and i think you can offer each other a new perspective??

leo appreciates your open-mindedness not so much in that he wants to do things with you, but more so because he enjoys being able to just,,, talk to someone about the things that he studies and that he’s interested in

so, as long as you’re willing to lend an ear and maybe ask a few questions, he’s going to be (secretly) delighted!!

i feel like,,, leo’s going to make you smile and laugh and he’s not even going to realise why, if that makes sense? you’ll just start giggling to yourself over something he said and he’s just like ?????

but a part of him feels very proud that he’s managed to do that, even if by accident. it just makes his heart feel very Full

i get this vibe that he has a bit of a ‘magpie eye’ and he just,,, collects crystals and what not to bring them home to you

that or just,,, random shiny things that he’ll think you like. you’d amass quite the collection

leo is much less trusting than you, and i think his critical eye would help protect you from people who might walk all over you

on the other hand, i think your temperament would help him open up and trust people a bit more? i think he’s always going to be cautious, but you’d help him,,, not assume the worst, if that makes sense

leo’s a bit of a romantic at heart, and i think he’d be surprisingly affirming and patient!!

he’s a smart guy, and he’s going to pick up on the fact that you tend to be self-conscious in your relationships

so, he’ll try to do and say things to help you feel comfortable and seen. whether that’s encouraging you to speak up, or paying close attention to the things that upset you and rectifying his behaviour, leo definitely would make an active effort to help you feel more comfortable

he’d also be able to see that in how much you give to other people; so, he’d make sure that he could tell you, as best he could and in his own way, that he genuinely appreciates you

balances out your impulsive side quite well. leo thinks through everything, and once again, he’s cautious. but, on the flip side, i think you could help encourage him to,,, relax every so often

not as much a fan of your more adrenaline-filled hobbies, though. i think those are more likely to stress him out

genuinely enjoys your creativity!! i sort of headcanon that, if things had been different, he might have a bit of an artistic streak himself. he loves seeing what you’ve made, both with a constructive critical eye and the gaze of a proud partner

covers your ass when it comes to forgetting the very day things. leo’s just very observant, i think, and he takes stock of everything; so every time you walk out without your wallet, leo’s only a few steps behind, ready to slip it into your pocket

i think he’d get your humour a bit more than xander does? while he has a bit of an inferiority complex, i feel like leo would be able to see the comedy in poking fun at yourself, and may even find it cathartic idk

like xander, leo would be quite good at handling your seizures. he’s level-headed and clever, and he’s definitely studied up on them to know what to do

however, i feel like he’d be calmer with you afterwards, unlike xander. because he would’ve researched it deeply, he’d know to trust you in your nonchalance; and if he was worried, he’d know exactly how to take care of you.

i keep changing my mind on leo’s type, but i think a strong case could be made for intp!!

funnily enough, the differences between auxiliary fe and auxilary ti is nicely summarized in that portion where i talk about how you two could balance each other out

(alternatively i can easily see him as an intj which i think still works despite being vastly different but,,, infj & intj have the potential to get along quite well, largely due to their shared ni. i do think fe and te have a lot to learn from each other, though!!)

and finally...

hinoka!!

you said you’ve been matched with her twice and i can see why!!

you both have this energy that i think will mesh really well, and she definitely matches your fire

first of all, you both enjoy high-adrenaline activities. i think that’s something you’d really bond over, and would usually the centre piece of your dates

probably how you got to know each other, tbh

loves how open-minded you are; hinoka seems like the type to want to try everything with you, and to show her all the things that she loves

i hope you’re not afraid of heights because you bet she’s getting on the back of her pegasus

i think she’d quite enjoy how bubbly and optimistic you are, and she’d bounce off that very well. while she can be quite serious, i think hinoka would really let her guard down around you

hinoka’s tough and hard-working, but she also has a sensitive side; i think you’d be someone she could sincerely trust with those emotions

you can both be impulsive, which is a double-edged sword. while it’s something you can certainly connect on, idk who’s going to rein the both of you in

it’ll probably end up being ryoma, let’s be real

hinoka’s naturally very protective, and she’d be furious at anyone who walked all over you. she’s definitely the sort of partner who would stick up for you (for better or worse), and is constantly reminding you of your worth and how important you are to her

hinoka gives the best hugs. no, i do not take constructive criticism--

hinoka definitely has a goofy sense of humour too. like without a doubt. you two have a ton of inside jokes that the rest of the hoshidan family either cringe at or don’t understand. but who cares? you’re having the time of your life

you both have a lot of love to give, and you care so much about the people close to you. i think that’s a really important thing to share in a relationship, and it’d do the two of you a world of good to know that the amount of emotional energy you’re putting in will be reciprocated!!

definitely gets embarrassed when you go all out for her, though. never knows how to respond. usually just blushes to the high heavens

you’re both very forgetful when it comes to the mundane, though; idk how you two are going to work your way out of that one

would love hanging out with your brothers though!! i feel like hinoka is quite extroverted and as long as you guys were doing something fun, she’d be down

i think she’d also be the type of partner who’s good with surprises? like she pays attention to those close to her, and she really wants to show you that she loves you. so if that means grabbing food on the way home or a bouquet of your favourite flowers? she’s going to go out of her way to do it

i feel like she’d have a major soft spot for animals? she has her pegasus, of course, but i think that affection does spread out. i get the feeling she might not be the best at handling animals such as bunnies (smaller animals need a certain touch of delicacy, it seems), but she very much adores them

loves dogs though, and definitely bonds with each and every dog she meets; maybe it’s her own puppy-like nature that draws them to her?

while i’m not 100% on my analysis here, a good argument could be made for typing hinoka as an estp. she has the extroverted sensing (se) presence and brashness, but the extroverted feeling (fe) compassion and attentiveness. estps can work quite well with infjs, as they have the exact same functions, just inversed

so, there’s a lot of potential to teach one another and to grow from the relationship!!

and since you only requested a small group of characters, i thought i may as well give you my thoughts on your compatibility with the rest of them!!

elise - i tossed up whether or not to make her one of your main or alternate matches, but i’m really not sure on how old she’s supposed to be? of course, these sorts of things are written with the assumption that the character is older than 18, but,,, she still acts quite young, i think? so i think that might be something that could cause (albeit small) issues for the two of you.

however, i think you would have a wonderful bond!! you’re both bubbly, optimistic, and deeply loving, and elise definitely has a lot more levity than some of your main matches. i think she fits the bill for being very reassuring, since she just needs to tell people that she loves them So Much (and she’s very active in her relationships!! she’s not afraid to tell people how she feels!!) and, she’d love group hangouts with your brothers; the more the better, tbh. and, i think she’s absolutely the type to bring you home surprises. that just seems very on brand for her.

furthermore, i think she’d jive quite well with your energy and your enthusiasm for life (that’s the vibe you’ve given me!) so i do think elise is a great fit. with both leo and xander, she absolutely adores you as an older sister figure. easily the member of the family that makes you feel the most welcome.

ryoma - i couldn’t figure out where to place him, and i kept putting him in your alternate matchups then taking him out, and vice versa. for whatever reason, i have a hard time getting a grasp on how you two would get along?

i think you have this,,, vivacity to you that contrasts with ryoma’s very calm, collected demeanor. i think that there’s a nice contrast there, but ryoma comes off as the sort of person who has a difficult time “letting loose”. i guess a simple way of putting it is that i feel like he’s just a bit too serious?

but at the same time, ryoma can be very impulsive? he sort of just,,, charges into battle. and i don’t think having two impulsive people together is always the best thing?

funnily enough, i could level that same point of conflict at xander; but, i feel like you and xander just have more to connect over?? but, like i said, i’m having a hard time grasping how you two would work in a relationship. it’s an enigma. i think it’s because xander gives off more of a ‘vulnerable’ vibe to me (which may just be because the events of the story tends to put him in positions where he has to grapple with his inner conflict), whereas ryoma seems a bit more wise and grounded? i’m going to stop myself before i write a whole essay i’m so sorry

sakura - i have a similar issue as i did with elise, in that,,, the age is so vague ddlkfdj BUT i think there’s definitely potential for you and sakura, but it’s something you’d have to work for. sakura is a darling, but i think she might find your exuberance for life overwhelming sometimes. i think it’s a case where she’d struggle to keep up with you at first. furthermore, i think she’d share your tendency to be self-conscious in relationships, which would likely create an anxiety loop.

that being said, i think the two of you would still get along really well. you’d both flourish in a friendship, and while it seems like she’s a lot quieter than you (and certainly more reserved), i think she’d really enjoy your personality? i think you’d have a great rapport, where you can play to your strengths in your relationship.

camilla - i think that you and camilla would be able to connect quite well, as you’re both very loving and giving. i think regardless, you’d be able to have quite a good understanding of each other on the best of days?

but, all that being said, i think that camilla can exhibit some toxic tendencies from time to time. that’s a big reason as to why i haven’t put her higher up. camilla is so loving and cares so much about those close to her, but she can be very emotionally dependent. i think if you guys found ways to work through those behaviours, that’d be good, but overall,,, i just think everyone listed above would be a better fit?

but, like elise, she would be very welcoming when you joined the family (after she’s worked out that she can trust you, though, and you don’t mean any harm to her beloved siblings), and i really do think camilla at her best emulates a lot of your most admirable traits!!

takumi - honestly? i think he can just be a bit too harsh. while i think there’d be that balance that i love in relationships, your differences may be too extreme at the beginning. the clash between his more cautious approach and your tendency to trust people illustrates this quite well. i think there’s also just,,, a lot to work through for the both of you, and tamuki can be abrasive when it comes to dealing with his own insecurities. he’s very loving and he cares a lot for those close to him, but it’s going to be a long trek. i think that there are certainly elements that could work well, but it would be so much work.

#matchups #fire emblem matchups #matchup commission

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