#yknow many of my problems would be solved by living alone

[artificer-real]

ive been tryna put into words exactly how and why ISAT crushed my mental state like a soda can so effortlessly for a while. Never really succeeded. Its just so... sigh. Siffrin's thought patterns up to Act 4 mirrored my own almost perfectly. The only difference being that while i handle defeat by giving up and accepting rock bottom, Siffrin handles it by saying "Give me a pickaxe."

Its impressive really. Still makes every inch of anxiety in my brain explode instantly but yknow.

[literaphobe]

hopping over here from leaving leviathan-sized comments on ao3, and bearing in mind the recent tumblr discourse about how everyone should be doing Asks and reblogging with reckless abandon like the good ol days really just gotta ask how you GOT SO GOOOOOOD

HELLLO!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR UR EPIC COMMENTS. I had so so so much fun reading them and they SO made my day when I saw that it was u!!!!!!!

u really flatter me but tbh I don’t think there’s any real metric for good it’s just - like if I could give any writer advice it would be to play to ur strengths!! AND play to ur desires!!! if ur great at dialogue make your story dialogue forward, have that be the driving force of most plot points, if you’re very good at symbolism and like making stuff flowery fertilize away!!!! ensure that what ur making is something you would love and want as a reader ifl is an important thing. its like. obviously there’s time constraints for everything and stuff, people have busy lives, it’s hard to maintain energy levels high enough to write let alone review ur own work, but i do genuinely think i spend more time reading over and trying to Experience my writing than i do actually writing it out. also I do a lot of rewriting. not everything needs to be rewritten or improved upon, u could have banger scenes that u wrote in one go and barely changed, or you could have banger scenes that u revised and grappled with multiple times… at the end of the day a banger is a banger…!! even if it takes over a year. which is what happened with me…! JFJSJDJD

plus like. just really love whatever it is ur making. be a storyteller and love ur story!!! stand by it!!! as a person im very anxious and i do get those AHHHHH WHAT IF THIS SUCKS WHAT IF EVERYONE HATES IT I SHOULD JUST—blah blah blah yknow. i realize the further away i get from my work the less i believe in it. aka i get less WHAT IF IT SUCKS feelings when i actually read my work. and if u read ur work and u think it sucks! challenge why you feel that way. figure out if you have a genuine story related problem you need to solve OR if it’s just your brain being mean to you. sometimes i feel like leaning into that voice in your head can help you realize what is it you TRULY want. in a story that is. in real life idk what i want at all

okay this got so long SORRY also tvl chapter 6 is coming out soon!!! if like idk 5 more people comment on ch5 ill post on Sunday if not ill wait till more people have caught up w the fic to post ch6!! maybe Monday or Tuesday in that case!! <- I want as many people caught up as possible before ch6

[effyoudumbler]

Notes written while I was going insane, 10

Ohhhh

I see

I am irrational

…

Is it not weird

However is it so?

I think I see how

I am distracted

Too oftenly to form a change in my mind

I see

However can i be irrational

When I KNOW I am false?

If I know I am wrong

Why then do I not… yknow

Make decisions based on facts and reality

Instead of on what I know is wrong?

…

Well

I dont like the reality

There ya have it, am I right?

No

[Redacted] 

We are in private here

Tell the truth

Nobody will hear it

Fine

The answer is I am not exactly sure, what I feel. I feel weird. I want, things. But, I cannot have those things, I do not have those things, to put an understatement on it.

That’s, well, its not really a problem. A problem has a start and end. This is confusion. I am not exactly sure, not where it stopped making sense

But

When what makes sense to me, is now not reality anymore

What can I do

I see backwards in time

I see backwards in time

I am fine in the past

I am correct about things

Now I am not

But

I do not see where it stopped being correct

In fact

It still feels correct

I suppose

I never really understood it, hadnt I

I guess it was never correct after all

Only semi approximately correct

I didnt understand anythinf

How else could it be

That all of a sudden

Nothing makes sense

I feel weird

I am starving, my body, it yearns and it aches

But its way too anxious, and scared

I cant figure out what to do

I am held back by nothing, empty air

[Redacted] 

How can I do anything, I am me, I only exist because these problems exist to make me

Problems dont

Problems do not solve themselves

God damn it

[Redacted] 

Damn it

[Redacted] 

I should jump off a building

I go into these, stupors, these fugues

I avoid pain

I dont want to live

[Redacted] 

I dont want to live alone

But my body craves only to be alone

Well

Then I should just kill myself

I will bring my body its ultimate wish

Is it not so?

Well

I’m fine alone, if I… I don’t know

[Redacted] 

It isnt that I crave to be alone

Its that I crave to escape that awful feeling of being around other people

[Redacted] 

My brain does not make any sense

Why

Its just a horrible feeling

Not any different from pain

True

But pain is whatever

[Redacted] 

And I dont WANT MORE PEOPLE

I WANT LESS PEOPLE

…

[Redacted] 

Making it worse and making it worse

Why do I care

I can unleash my pain onto others to relieve myself

[Redacted] 

[Redacted] 

[Redacted] 

Even more pain

Even more

[Redacted] 

Ughhhhhh

[Redacted] 

[Redacted] 

I…

I dont know anymore!!!!!

Too many moving parts goddamnit

Goddamnit goddamnit goddamnit

ARGHHH

…

And I trust no one, too.

Constant pain

Or constant loneliness

Ouch

Im not sure which is worse

Really

I would be angry all the time

Yep

Well

If I was drunk I wouldnt be angry

Or maybe if I was high

Hm

…

Or painkillers

Once I didnt want to depend on drugs

Now I dont even want to live

So who cares what I do

I’ll die alone anyway, regardless of anything I do

Yeah…

Yeah…

I dont have hope

In being rewarded

Whats the point

[Redacted] 

Its all superficial, small, messed up, imperfect, wrong, incomplete

I’m alone

Even around others

They dont see me

I wish I was dead

Why dont I just kill myself

That sounds funner, better, right?

I dont see any solution

Well

I see 1

If I took like

A bunch of dopamine, or whatever

Right

…

I guess…?

[Redacted] 

Nobody sees me

And likely nobody ever will

…

…

So why live at all

I dont want to eat

I give up

[just-a-dumb-gay]

I think I just found out why i crave validation online from strangers (like comments on fanfics). And why praise and compliments on something I done always make me so happy.

I rarely got rewards as a kid for doing good things. And Ive gotten even less as I've grown up.

TL;DR (because there's explanation and tangenting below the cut): I pretty much never get or have gotten praise or rewards or anything similar because I was doing things that I should be doing anyways because society perceives it all as normal and easy and it's only gotten worse as Ive gotten older. So now my achievements and cool stuff being acknowledged with genuine enthusiasm means the world.

SO GO GIVE POSITIVE VIBES TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY, ESPECIALLY ANY KIDS IN YOUR LIFE, EVEN JUST A REALLY COOL STRANGER ONLINE!! IT MAKES SO MUCH MORE OF A DIFFERENCE THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE REALIZE!

Actual accomplishments? Nope. Perfect report cards (minus attendance because I'm not superhuman, I got sick like 99% of other kids. And just gym ew it was so boring) and endless praise during parents night (because gifted kid plus a pile of anxiety and autism that was scared to get in trouble).

Now I wanna specify I did get little things like some sweets or like a couple pounds as pocket money but that was 9/10 times for helping with chores or something that I didn't HAVE to help with. Those things I done because I wanted to help, and ngl a few of the tasks were fun so I wanted to do them without expecting anything in return. So just a quick side note but still somewhat relevant.

I should also specify since the adult Im closest to is my dad, his opinion and everything means way more tor me than it should.

I never even got a simple "I'm proud of you" from my dad (who has seen me every day minus like a month in total in my entire 18 years of living). And he taught me A LOT outside of school. Life skills, creative skills, problem solving skills. Even when I do good with all of that honestly I don't think he's ever said that to me even Once. Now I don't have it as bad as many many others because I would still get things like "Good job" or "Well done" but they were kinda half hearted and its still taken its toll on me. (Because even though others have something worse doesn't mean we're not allowed to have strong feelings about our personal situation)

I have an abundance of health issues and doing so many things has became extremely challenging for me. Yesterday, I went to my first medical appointment completely alone, and it was a dentist appointment and I have deppresso teeth so dentists are terrifying. When my dad got home from work I was telling him about it and everything and how happy I was it went well despite now having a temporary filling in a tooth Im most likely gonna lose. Yknow what his reaction was after I had tangented for like 10 minutes out of happiness then had to stop and take a breath? "Okay I'm gonna finish eating my dinner now" in his 'im pretending to joke yet I'm being serious' tone (which is a whole other issue). Like... dude... I managed to do my first bus journey, medical appointment and mild medical procedure completely 100% alone, 3 things that absolutely terrify me, AND YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR FOOD?!

My partner said they were proud of me multiple times yesterday. My friend hyped me up and offered enthusiastic and entertaining support. Those 2 and 2 other friends (one I dont speak to quite as regular and another who ive been friends with for roughly 9 years and am super close to but we talk like 1 or 2 times a month) are always super supportive in their own individual ways and Im still not used to it, and I don't think I ever will be.

So I guess long tangent short. My accomplishments were always just treated as average things that were expected of me similar to just simply being at school on time. And anything I created usually had a flaw pointed out (not in a constructive criticism way, Im always open to constructive criticism) and the most that'd be said is "Looks good" or "Thats nice". So now praise and/or enthusiastic support (both are equal to me) for accomplishments mean the absolute world. And comments on fanfics or any other sort of positive acknowledgement of something I created makes me feel like what I done was actually a good use of my time.

I could say a lot more but I just need to rant for a bit, and this is probably gonna get like 3 notes max.

[lunar-magnolia]

@honestlyshamelesscollector thank you for asking me this!! I'm really happy to share my thoughts, I hope to answer your questions in the best way possible akdjsk

I absolutely agree with you about Xie Lian. He does indeed grow a lot, even though he does so in a traumatic way.

***A little disclaimer: these are just my thoughts here, first impressions having read the novel once, plus watched the donghua and read the manhua a couple of times. I'm no expert at all, but I have lots of feelings about this akdjskfmf

**Putting a read more because long lmao

Young Xie Lian's dream was to become a god and save the common people. And present Xie Lian does it everyday, as much as he can. The biggest lesson he got growing up was probably the fact that he can't save everyone at the same time, but saving (or helping) even just one person was enough. He might be a god, but he is still one person. Having godly powers doesn't make him omniscient or give him the ability to suddenly work on a bigger scale than he could when he was human.

Book 4 in particular highlights just how much the present Xie Lian has changed from the Crown Prince that Pleased The Gods, filled with the idealism of a young man and maybe just a little bit spoiled, to the kind and humble Scrap Immortal that does everything in his power to help the people he comes across.

We see him starting to change as soon as book 2 though. When he tries to both save the Imperial Capital from being invaded and save the Yong'an people from the draught, it's the first time Xie Lian faces the limits of his godly status and power. He divides his time to keep it going for a bit, but in the end he's exhausted and overwhelmed, and he can't do it anymore. Even though he is a god. The inevitable consequences of his own actions and the fall of Xianle challenged his idealism and destroyed his heart so hard that he almost gave in and took his revenge on innocent people. But one person is enough, right?

One could argue that Xie Lian never really had it in him to do it, and I'd probably agree. The whole waiting for someone to help him before releasing the curse, and then trying to sacrifice himself when it eventually was too late to avoid it was enough of an indication for me. It only took the kindness of one person to make him change his heart. If he truly sought revenge, one person wouldn't have been enough. And damn if that didn't ruin Bai Wuxian's plans wonderfully lolll

Xie Lian knew in his heart that the people of Yong'an didn't deserve to pay the price for what happened to Xianle. Even though Bai Wuxian tried (and for a while succeeded) to make him believe it.

Straying from the path that Bai Wuxian wanted him to walk was not as easy as it seems. Bai Wuxian carefully paved all the paths for him, pushed Xie Lian in the directions he wanted him to go with the most violent methods I've ever seen, but Xie Lian always found a way to avoid it, also thanks to Hua Cheng's presence, even when he didn't know it was him (I have so many feelings about that imma cry skfjkefj). Hua Cheng always believed in him and knew what Xie Lian was truly capable of, and boy was he right gdi.

When Xie Lian went through the betrayal of Jun Wu, Hua Cheng's presence reminded him of who Xie Lian is and what he's become. The doubts Bai Wuxian put in his mind, the danger of the Human Face Desease threatening to be freed again, and the resolution to not give in into grief and pain and staying true to the person he had become were again overcome thanks to one person. Xie Lian could have never actually become what Bai Wuxian wanted him to, no matter what he threw at him.

In the end, Xie Lian learnt how to save the common people for real. And he realized that didn't have to do it alone! Instead, the common people themselves were part of the solution (the human array to contain the resentful spirits yknow). It does send an important message, and it's probably the most important thing that Xie Lian learnt: that one person alone cannot save all, if all don't want to be saved. It's a group effort, it takes time and heart and not everyone has it in their heart to risk their lives for the sake of others. Godly powers can only do so much, and a god cannot change fate from above. A god must instead support and protect the people, work with them, give them a boost, and in the end the people will save themselves.

It's a really nuanced and complicated process, I don't know how to explain it properly ajdkfjdl.

It's also worth mentioning that the relationship with Mu Qing and Feng Xin had all the potential to prevent much of what happened to Xie Lian. But just as Xie Lian was young and inexperienced, so were they. And despite all, until Xie Lian stopped thinking of them as servants, he couldn't grow. He had to lose them to truly understand the depth and worth of people believing in him. Which doesn't make it any less painful or sad... Things could have indeed gone differently, but the outcome would have never been the same. I'm glad in the end they kind of sorted it out though.

And the fact that Mu Qing and Feng Xin still cared for Xie Lian when he ascended for the third time was so evident in hindsight. Made me smile when I realized.

Also I liked that in the end Xie Lian didn't go rule the heavens or even go back to it, and instead stayed in the mortal realm to continue doing what he did for the past 800 years. Considering that young Xie Lian said clearly that he wanted to become a god, it's an important thing. It shows that in his mind the concept of gods and their role has changed, and he will stick to his new views despite the possibility of achieving what his young self wanted. Though this isn't just a consequence of book 5, it was shown even earlier when he first visited his palace in the heavens. Xie Lian didn't want to enter it, it made him uncomfortable, and instead sat outside waiting for Shi Qingxuan.

There are so many things to say about Xie Lian but idk if I have the competence to express them all akdjskfj I love his character to bits. His development was not banal in any way, and even though we didn't see all the 800 years it took for him to change, we do feel how gradual that was. Just think of when he met Banyue.

He was still a bit idealistic, telling her that his dream was to save the common people, but he already grew enough of a thick skin to understand when it was worth to pick a fight or not, and he wasn't picky on food (even cooking it himself in his helmet, with outrageous results). It might not seem much, but all things considered, it was a change.

In his first banishment he learnt how hard life was without his Crown Prince status, but he still picked fights with people and refused to eat some things because they weren't as high quality as the food he used to eat at the Royal Palace.

During his second banishment, he learnt to be humble and how problems couldn't be solved with just the right idea. He learnt the grayness of morality and life, how right and wrong are not absolute concepts. He experienced the worst fortune (by his own choice) and learnt how to not let it get to him, how to grow enough of a thick skin to get up each time and not take his frustration out on others.

Truly, Xie Lian is a great character. I have read the novel only one time so far, but I'm planning to reread it soon. So who knows, I might notice more things next time around! This was just my first impression Ahah

As for things I wish that were better explored in the story, I'd say Pei Ming's growth and maybe Ling Wen's motives (though I might have just blinked and missed this last part, because I was still reeling from the Black Water arc lmao).

About Pei Ming, I think he went through a considerable growth since the first time we see him, when he tries to save Little Pei from banishment. At first he gave me the impression of being the usual arrogant womanizer, who would do anything to avoid having his reputation tarnished. But blinking to book 5, we see that he's... Idk, it feels like he's taken that shameless arrogance and put it away, especially after interacting with the Rain Master. Their story is extremely important to his development imo. Their shared past held a place in his heart, and it resurfaced when he met the Rain Master again. I think he was deeply signed by her actions in the past, and he never forgot her.

It's shown when Pei Ming refuses to be saved by the Rain Master and refuses the sword she wants to give to her (which incidentally is the same sword that, yknow, she used to sacrifice herself in front of him back in the days). He says (or better, the people around him say) that it was out of pride, because he couldn't accept that a woman saved him. But he never confirmed or denied it, instead he ran after her "to help".

At the end of the story Pei Ming is not as loud and proud of his reputation as he was in the beginning, instead he seems humbled.

I think the Xuan Ji case also had an important role in his development. Considering how we see her dissolve having found peace after talking/fighting with Pei Ming during the Mount Tong'lu arc, I do think that Pei Ming himself must have reflected on himself a bit too.

He also lost his two best friends, Shi Wudu and Ling Wen, so... Yknow, my hualian ship captain must have had some changes.

Especially when it comes to the Rain Master, I feel there are good basis for a good friendship between them, despite the past. The Rain Master never showed open animosity towards him, instead she helped him. It seemed to me that Pei Ming is the one who believed she hated him, but it was never confirmed.

And maybe if you squint there could be more between them, if you're into that ahah. I wish we could have seen more of his grown version, though I do understand that it happened in the epilogue and the book is already as long as it can be ahaha. So really I'm not that sad it didn't happen, I'm happy that there are signs in the background that "hint" at that instead (if they can be considered hints, idk ahha).

About Ling Wen, ehhhh I want to reserve the right to reread and reconsider. Right now I feel like the Brocade Immortal thing was almost unnecessary? I like her background, how she became the biggest civil goddess of the heavens, but I didn't get why she created the brocade. Again though, I might just go back and reread that part later. Tbh I was reeling really hard after the Black Water arc, so I just blanked on some things akfjskf

Did the Brocade serve any purpose in the end? Aside from being the catalyst of Ling Wen's story arc and being one of the two mighty ghosts in Mount Tong'lu (and also giving that nice hualian scene where Hua Cheng was trying so hard to get kissies from Xie Lian ahaha). Idk, I'd like to hear your thoughts about this!!

I think I rambled enough, if you got to this point wow you're amazing! And thank you for going through this long rant Ahah. I hope it makes some sort of sense! Thank you again for the questions, talking about tgcf made me really happy!

[ghostpeblewrite]

Paradoxical - Chapter 9

~~~~~~

��We need a gameplan,” Toast says, addressing the two sat in front of them.

After the other two showered, he called them both into the living room for a meeting. Toast looks stressed, but he’s doing his best to stay calm.

“Can’t we just kill them?” Spooker asks.

“Spooker, you saw better than I did how many are out there. Do you honestly think we can take them all?” Toast asks, looking at him.

“No,” Spooker admits, looking down.

Toast sighs, looking at Colon, “Any ideas?”

“Nope,” Colon shakes his head.

“Great,” Toast mumbles. If Ghost were here, this wouldn’t even be an issue. He would’ve come up with some outlandish idea that probably would’ve gotten them killed but would’ve solved the problem. Yet here they are, the sun beginning to set, and they’re still stuck. Toast is trying his best to be hopeful but it’s hard to. They’re stuck.

Toast jumps when he hears a quiet knock at the back door. He grabs his trusty shotgun, motioning for Colon and Spooker to stay put. He heads for the back door, shotgun ready.

He takes a breath before opening the door a tiny bit.

Outside, he sees a figure. Shorter than him, pale complexion. They turn towards Toast, and Toast almost believes for a moment it’s Ghost.

And then he sees the dark hair, and he curses, going to close the door quickly.

“Wait-!” Jimmy hisses, shoving his hand between the door and the doorframe, almost like he’s asking to have his hand broken. “Wait- I’m not here to hurt you!”

“That’s a lie,” Toast says, pressing the door into Jimmy’s hand.

“No, please, I’m here to help!! I have information!!” Jimmy pleads.

“Why should I trust you?” Toast says, pushing the door more.

“OW- Okayokayokay please- They’re really mean to me!!! I wanna help you!!!” Jimmy frowns.

That catches Toast off guard. Jimmy never frowns, and he looks so much like Ghost when he does…

“Fine,” Toast huffs, opening the door. Jimmy smiles.

That’s when Toast lifts the shotgun, hitting Jimmy over the head with it.

“Colon, go grab rope!” Toast calls, setting his shotgun to the side as he drags Jimmy’s body into the house. It’s not hard to do, Jimmy is very light.

When Jimmy suggested this plan to Gavin and Maxwell, he didn’t expect it to work.

He didn’t expect to get knocked out and tied up either, but he’ll take what he can get.

When he wakes up, he’s in a dark room. It’s pretty small. He’s tied to a chair, like how Ghost was not too long ago. Only difference is, Jimmy can’t timeline hop.

“Heeellooooo?” he calls out. Doesn’t like being locked up alone. Reminds him too much of Before. He misses Gavin- Why’d he have to leave? This was a stupid idea. Why did Gavin let him do this. Stupid Gavin.

The door opens, and Jimmy hisses at the light, closing his eyes and turning away. So bright-

“So, Jimmy,” a certain brit says, turning the lights on before closing the door. “You said you have info?”

“Those are bright lights!” Jimmy says, squinting at him.

“Jimmy-” Toast sighs.

“What? That’s information!!” Jimmy smiles, his eyes adjusting a bit.

“I meant about the people who did… whatever’s outside,” Toast says.

“The zombies?” Jimmy asks, like there’s anything else outside.

“Yes, Jimmy. The zombies,” Toast says tersely, trying to keep his patience from leaving him.

“Oh, that was Gavin!” Jimmy says simply, smiling. “He’s so cool!!!”

Toast stares. “Gavin? As in, my brother, Gavin?”

“Noooo, Gavin from the gas station- Yes your brother!!!” Jimmy laughs.

Toast blinks. I mean, he knew Gavin had powers but… Toast didn’t know he was this powerful. How is he this powerful? It doesn’t even make sense. He turns away, opening the door again.

“Hey!! Turn the lights off at least!!” Jimmy calls to him, but to no avail. Toast just leaves.

Colon looks up at Toast when he walks into the room. Colon’s sitting on the couch alone, Spooker off in the other room seemingly on the phone.

“So? Is he useful?” Colon asks.

“Somewhat,” Toast sighs. “He’s… Incredibly stupid, apparently, but he did reveal to me who did that.” He motions vaguely outside.

“Oh? Who?” Colon asks, sitting up more.

“My brother,” Toast says. His eyes look far away.

Colon is about to ask something, but then Spooker comes back in.

“Toast, I got help!” He smiles, holding his phone away from his ear.

“Really?” Toast perks up. Spooker’s actually done something useful?

Spooker nods, putting his phone on speaker.

“Alright, lithen up, nerdth,” a familiar voice crackles over the phone speakers. “I don’t have the motht time in the world here.”

“Spencer!” Toast says, sounding pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah? Who elth? Thtupid… Anyway, I hear you guyth have a problem with undead?” Spencer says, sounding very focused on something else other than the conversation.

“Yes, they are… quite literally surrounding us, and there are… alot,” Toast says.

“I would athk if Ghoth ith there but I know he’th not, so Toath you need to lithen up,” Spencer says, not pausing again for input. “Hopefully you know by now that you can’t take all the undead on your own. If not, newth flath! You can’t. Tho, what now? Well, you have a few optionth; Wait for Ghoth, could take a few dayth, try to thin the herd, could be dangerouth, or try to take out the main man himthelf. Hopefully I don’t have to tell you thith but I’m thaying it anyway jutht in cathe, when dealing with powerful necromantherth, it’th better to take out the necromanther than to try and take out all the undead. Take out the creator, the creationth go with him.”

“Yes, Spencer, I know that,” Toast says, “But- What did you mean when you said we could wait-?”

“I don’t have time for thith!!” Spencer groans, “I helped you, I no longer owe Fred a favour, I’m going back to my gameth! Don’t bother me again, you abtholute nerdth!!”

Spencer hangs up. Toast sighs.

“That… Didn’t tell us anything new,” Toast says, turning away to think. “We can’t get out there… How are we supposed to take him out? We don’t even know where he is!!”

“Well, we have Jimmy?” Colon says. “Maybe we can use him to bait your brother out?”

“Wait, brother?” Spooker looks between them. “What? Are you guys keeping things from me???”

“No- I just found out,” Toast sighs, looking at him. “From Jimmy, actually.”

“What’s his name? Is he older than you? What’s he look like?? What’s he-” Spooker starts asking questions, and Toast holds a hand up to stop him.

“Okay, no more. His name is Gavin, and he’s my twin brother,” Toast says simply.

Spooker and Colon look at eachother, wide eyed. Spooker looks back at Toast.

“You have a twin brother?!?!?” Spooker cries out.

Toast sighs, rubbing his temples, “I’m going back to Jimmy. I have more questions. Don’t burn the house down.” He turns away, walking back to the room.

Toast opens the door slowly, making sure Jimmy’s still tied up. Upon seeing he is, he opens the door more, stepping in.

“I have more questions, Jimmy,” Toast says, leaning against the door behind him.

“I have answers!!” Jimmy says, smiling up at Toast. His dark shaggy hair hangs into his eyes.

Toast is still unnerved by how much he looks like Ghost. He supposes it makes sense, he did come from Ghost’s mind, but that doesn’t mean it looks normal.

“Alright,” Toast sighs, “Where is he? Gavin.”

Jimmy seems to study him for a second, which unnerves Toast further. It’s like a predator observing his prey, determining the best time to strike.

“Oh, y'know… There! Yknow, we had Ghost there for a bit. He’s gone now,” Jimmy smiles wider, the corners of his mouth twitching, pulling back further than they should be able to. It makes Toast feel nauseous.

“What? What do you mean? Gone?” Toast asks. Ghost can’t be gone. It’s just- It’s not possible.

“His blood was so red… I’d seen it before, but… It was so much better from a third person point of view! Red, red blood…” Jimmy mumbles, his smile never faltering.

Toast stares at him, the words forcing their way out of his mouth before he’s sure he wants the answer to them. “What did you do to him?”

“He’s gone, Toast,” Jimmy giggles.

“No- No, he isn’t,” Toast says firmly. Yet, he can’t shake the feeling that Jimmy is telling the truth. Ghost is no longer in this world. The thought settles on him like a thick blanket of snow, freezing him to the bone, smothering any other thought that dare try to cross it.

“You know he is,” Jimmy says in a low voice, sounding so much like Ghost that Toast can feel his heart twist.

“Shut up,” Toast says.

Jimmy begins to cackle, twisting Ghost’s face into horrific, inhuman shapes.

“Stop it!!” Toast yells, feeling his body begin to shake. He finds himself closer to Jimmy. He doesn’t remember moving. Jimmy continues to cackle.

Toast can feel someone shove past him, and sees the back of a blue beanie. He doesn’t hear what’s said, but he’s somewhat snapped back into reality when he sees Colon’s fist collide with Gh- Jimmy’s face. Jimmy’s head snaps back to an unnatural angle.

Toast can hear yelling. It takes him a second to realize it’s his own voice. He’s fighting against Colon, his eyes on the limp form of Jimmy in the chair. Colon’s dragging him out of the room.

The door closes, cutting off the body from Toast’s vision. The sound brings him back to his senses.

He can feel something wet on his face, his breathing coming way faster than it should. He feels hands on his arms, and then he registers the face in front of him.

Colon.

Colon just killed Jimmy. Toast saw his head snap back. Jimmy looks so much like Ghost.

Ghost.

He can’t be gone. Toast has known that man for 24 of his 32 years on this planet.

Ghost has always been there for him.

Always willing to talk him through scary situations. Always talking. Toast remembers his voice clearly.

Someone’s shaking him.

Ghost can’t be gone. It’s not possible.

He’s being led somewhere. He can’t focus. Ghost can’t be dead. It’s not possible. It’s not right.

Toast never got to tell him how much he cared.

It’s not fair.

He can’t be dead.

~~~

I'm not sorry for any emotional damage caused during this chapter.

[vincent-frankenstein]

32: “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” With Logicality?

Ooh? I haven’t written Logicality in months! This’ll be fun :)

Summary: Logan comes to a startling conclusion, late one night.

Warnings: Uh insomnia, panic, it’s Very Soft but also the ending is ambiguous and not very happy, lemme know if there’s anything else!

Logan was hardly one for sentimentality.

This came as a surprise to absolutely no one. He understood the concept of nostalgia, knew that some people could benefit from the occasional bout of reminiscence — but he also knew that Thomas was not one of those people. Nostalgia only served to hinder them, in small doses, and incapacitate them in big ones.

Furthermore, nostalgia had nothing to do with his core duties. Sure, a side could stray from their core duties and enjoy other pastimes, if they were so inclined, but Logan was not so inclined. Each of his hobbies looped back to his own core; he even carefully structured his relaxation so it would contribute to his duties. Everything he did, he did for Thomas. Anything that didn't fit his role couldn't be allowed to be a part of his routine.

Nostalgia hardly fit his role.

So why couldn't he stop reminiscing?

It was late, later than he'd usually allow himself to stay up, and he was unfortunately cognizant. He found himself dwelling on a series of memories, each just as strange as the last. They had no connecting qualities, no hint towards why his brain had decided to string them together like an ill-advised PowerPoint presentation.

Well... that wasn't entirely true. Each memory had exactly one thing in common: they all involved Patton.

Odd, was it not? They cycled through his mind in a seemingly endless loop — Patton bringing him tea, Patton listening to him read, Patton wrapped in blankets on the couch, Patton Patton Patton —

He sighed, dragging a hand over his face. It was becoming increasingly evident that he wasn't going to get any sleep that night. A frustrating outcome, but an unavoidable one; the more he stressed himself out trying to force sleep, the harder it would become to actually fall asleep. He needed a distraction.

He stood, pulling his tie into place around the neck of his onesie, and left his room. A book and a cup of tea would do nicely as a distraction, and maybe he'd be able to salvage a few hours of sleep from the relaxation they'd bring. He figured it was possible, so long as he was able to banish the thoughts of Patton from his mind,

He turned the corner into the kitchen and froze.

"Oh!" Patton whirled, slipping into a twirl on his soft socks, a smile lighting up his face. "Hey, Lo! What's got you up so late?"

Logan took a split-second to curse his very existence before he snapped away his onesie, his formal clothes appearing in their place. Patton's face fell ever-so-slightly and Logan pretended his chest didn't jolt at the sight. "Salutations, Patton," he said. "I came down for some tea."

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" Patton said, with a sympathetic grimace. At Logan's nod, he turned back towards the counter, sliding the kettle onto the oven with a little hum. "Me neither, hun. Any particular reason?"

"I don't know," Logan said, his least favorite phrase in the entire English language. He stepped further into the kitchen, leaning up against the counter as Patton poured water into the kettle. "You don't have to do that."

"Nah, it's okay! I was re-heatin' some of the cookies I baked earlier, might as well have 'em with some tea." Patton's hands fluttered down by his sides as the kettle began to steam, and he bounced on the balls of his feet. "You want some cookies, too?"

He shouldn't. The excess sugar would only worsen his insomnia, making sleep all the more difficult to obtain. But... "Of course," he said, stepping around Patton to reach the fridge. He drew from inside the greatest of the indulgences he allowed himself, and Patton grinned.

"I was planning on reading until I feel capable of falling asleep," Logan said, as Patton lifted the kettle and poured steaming water into their two mugs — Logan's a deep blue, freckled with stars, and Patton's patterned with puppies. "Would you care to join me?"

"Only if you read to me," Patton said, with a soft smile that sent Logan's heart into an illogical bout of arrhythmia. He hadn't read aloud to Patton in... quite a while. Once, they had all gathered to listen to him read each and every night, but one by one the other sides had left him behind until only Patton remained. And even then they had grown apart, until Logan stopped reading aloud entirely.

He hadn't noticed how sharp the absence of that one small pastime had felt until Patton mentioned it just then, and he paused, eyebrows furrowing ever-so-slightly. Patton lifted a brow, and he cleared his throat. "I don't see any reason not to," he said, with a forced air of nonchalance, and Patton beamed.

Patton — who was the best at summoning, next to Roman — led the way out into the living room, where he snapped his fingers, sending a deluge of blankets and pillows cascading through the room, gathering into a large fort in front of the couch. Logan settled into the center, placing his mug of tea on the table.

"Impressive design, Patton," he said, admiring the fort's spires, the twinkling fairy-lights spilling down inside, casting golden light across the room.

Patton chuckled. "I dunno, teach," he said, and Logan internally braced himself. "Are you sure it's fort-ified enough?"

"And you ruined it," Logan said, with the tone of someone who had to truly force their annoyance.

"Ah, you're right," Patton said, settling down by Logan's side. "This is the best I could get unless I built it by hand! But that would've taken a —"

"Don't you dare —"

"Fort-night," Patton finished, stifling his giggles behind his hand as Logan sighed. "A whole fort-y days and fort-y nights, yknow —"

"Cease immediately or I won't read to you," Logan said, his eyes narrowed. Patton pressed a hand to his mouth to stop his laughter.

When he finally had it under control, he smiled up at Logan. "The floor is yours, teach!"

"Falsehood," Logan said, lifting an eyebrow. "The floor is Thomas's."

"There we go," Patton whispered, pulling the plate of warm cookies closer. Logan shook his head; Patton was an enigma he could never truly hope to solve.

He closed his eyes and scanned along his bookshelf, fingers tapping against his thigh as he searched for an adequate book. He allowed himself the barest hint of a sentimental smile when he found it: a very old, very worn edition of The Secret Garden, bound in velvet. He lifted his hand, and the book appeared.

"Oh!" Patton gasped, eyes widening. "Oh... oh my goodness! Is that the copy that Thomas' teacher gave him in fourth grade?"

"The very same," Logan said. "Or, well. A metaphysical approximation of it. Does this suffice?"

Patton only cooed in response, his hands pressed up against his cheeks, his eyes closed as a happy smile spread across his face. "So many memories," he whispered, and Logan nudged against him to rouse him from his reminiscence. He opened the book and Patton leaned against him, his head dropping to rest on his shoulder.

"Chapter one," he read, his voice soft. "There's no one left."

Young Mistress Mary had only just reached her uncle's mysterious manor when Patton fell asleep, head drooping down towards his chest. Logan shifted, settling the book in his lap as he guided Patton into a more comfortable position.

Patton sighed gently in his sleep. He looked so... serene. It was a stark contrast from his usual demeanor; Logan could hardly remember a time when Patton wasn't absolutely full to bursting with energy, bouncing and twirling and jumping. Even in his saddest moments he still moved, shifting from one foot to the other, hands fluttering around. But now he was just... still. Quiet. His glasses askew, his golden hair falling in twirled ringlets across his face, his cheek pressed into Logan's chest, he breathed, peaceful.

And Logan found, somehow, that he was peaceful as well. For the first time that night, the cacophony in his brain had slowed to a quiet buzz in the background, easily ignored. Sleep tugged at the edges of his vision, blurring the world at the corners; he slid his glasses off his face and shifted again, falling into the warmth that Patton exuded.

It was odd. The very thought of Patton had been enough to keep sleep at bay before, but now his presence alone had calmed Logan down enough to sleep. The conclusion to be drawn was that he benefited, somehow, from Patton's company, that the other's existence was of great importance to him, that —

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh no.

How? Why? He wasn't built for this; he wasn't supposed to feel love! A healthy camaraderie with his fellow sides, perhaps, but not this. Not this.

"How did you do this to me?" he whispered, his thoughts pouring out of him. Sleep fled; he shifted again, twisting his hands in his lap, foot tapping against the ground as he thought. "This makes no sense! I'm not supposed to — that is to say, I shouldn't even be capable, and yet —"

The conclusion was as obvious as the existence of gravity, and came to him as easily as breathing. It weighed him down into the ground, stacks of doubt placed on his shoulders, and yet filled his lungs with air all the same, until his chest felt lighter than it ever had before.

"And yet," he said, whispered, breathed. He looked down at Patton, at the mess of curls pressed up against his chest, breathing ever-so-softly, and his eyebrows furrowed. The next words spilled from his mouth without forethought, with the hazy abandon of late-night honesty. "And yet, I — I think I'm in love with you, and I'm terrified."

He truly was. What did this mean? For him, for Patton, for Thomas? For the mindscape as a whole? If Logic was capable of something so... illogical, what other flaws existed in their system? What other problems would eventually come to light? There was no denying the feeling curling through his gut; it was just as Roman had described it, once. It was fire, but it didn't burn. It was air, but he couldn't breathe. It was love, and he couldn't believe it.

"...Do you mean that?"

He stiffened, a sharp gasp piercing his lungs. Patton pulled away, his eyes wide, a soft pink flush painted across his freckled cheeks, and he searched Logan's eyes. "Are you... are you really...?"

With a strangled noise, Logan shoved himself to his feet, tripping over the blankets piled around them as he forced as much distance between himself and Patton as he could.

"No, please —" Patton scrambled to his feet. "Lo, it's okay —"

Logan shook his head. His chest ached; freezing panic crystallized through his bones, and he took another step back. Patton struggled to reach him over the sea of blankets and Logan forced himself to breathe, forced himself to tear his gaze from Patton's.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and sank out.

[valdotpng]

Can the Gay art bugs also help Myla?

while she definitely Could join hallownests coolest new art club/therapy group, i dont really think that her problems being solved by becoming some kind of an artist would fit her character… arc? i guess??

see, i picked the ‘quirrel gets dragged to sheo’s and becomes a landscape painter’ route for several reasons (tw for suicide mention/discussion btw!!): 

the first one being, obviously, the nailsmith - a character that has a lot of similarities with quirrel when you think about it. he also helps you on your quest throughout your big adventure– he upgrades your weapon til he forges the pure nail and so, after doing the thing that he was meant to do, wants to end his life. if we take the ‘quirrel kills himself after the blue lake scene’ theory into consideration here, you can definitely see the similarities in their… approach to fullfilling their ‘life purposes’. and imo thats exactly the kinda thing that both of these guys could bond over if quirrel is given the same opportunity to recover from this kinda mentality. if the nailsmith lived through this, then so can quirrel

the second one is related to the thing that people like to point out a lot - quirrels nail, how he always iterates the vital importance of having one, and how he symbolically abandons it by the end of his journey. this is where sheo comes in! sheo is basically a bug whose whole life used to revolve around the nail… until it didnt; he was able to find a new calling in life by abandoning his old one. ‘abandoning’ is a strong word though, cause he definitely held on to most of his knowledge and mastery of the nail, repurposed it. after all, “the wielding of a nail, the wielding of a brush… these things are not so different”. maybe quirrel could learn this lesson, too

the last one is that i just think that becoming a traveling landscape artist just… fits him?? quirrel LOVES exploring and sightseeing, so why couldnt he become passionate about trying to capture the many wonders of hallownest (and possibly other lands)? preserving those awe-inspiring places, recording those moments of discovery on a canvas. to archive them, if you will.

i hope they dont mind the tag (i’ll delete it if u do), but @wingmould added some really nice tags on my original post about the idea, and, Yeah. i wholeheartedly agree

now to myla. first and foremost, i gotta say that im one of the people desperately clinging to the hope that if you dont touch her and then get rid of the infection, she gets cured and lives happily ever after. that being said, i know that some of yall accidentally (or purposefully, out of mercy) kill her. so! heres what i got for our sweet miner girl in vals ‘theyre FINE shut up’ au:

in my understanding, the main cause of myla succumbing to the plague are two things feeding into eachother: her obsession and her loneliness. 

(presumably) like many explorers before her, myla came to hallownest with a specific goal in mind -  to get wealthy. and them mysterious, powerful crystals near the mines sure do look like a jackpot, dont they? especially when they start singing about ‘something even more valuable hidden deeper in’. that’s the reason she comes down there, the reason why she stays AND the reason why the radiance is able to invade her mind so easily. but i think that if she just had someone that could stop that obsession from consuming her, she could get saved??

like, sure, little ghost might pop in now and then to listen to her singing, but i dont think theyre really able to tell her ‘myla for the love of god stop overworking yourself and go outside’. and, from what we know, she doesnt have any friends/acquances besides the knight who could do that, either. “This is hard work, but I don’t mind. Down here, I can k-keep working without even sleeping. It’s fun!” see what i mean????? shes been down there for god knows how long, sleep deprived, probably starved, and alone, and NOBODY tells her that, hey, maybe she should, like, take care of herself? please??

so my idea is that someone actually does that and saves her. im thinking maybe sly? or cornifer?? cornifer deffo would be a better candidate since, in-canon, he could find myla while doing some exploring. and then he could take her to dirtmouth at some point, to, yknow, get some fresh air and maybe a cup of bug tea or whatever. and, after speaking with iselda, she Possibly could get hired as the new map shop keeper? since iselda is interested in going on an adventure with corny. it would be a way for myla to earn some geo and not risk her life while doing that. plus she could make some friends in dirtmouth! that way she’d be surrounded by people that wouldnt let her reach that rock bottom again, yknow?

woof, thats!! a lot of text. sorry about that! im just really passionate abt HK discussions!! anyways, it’s 5 am and im still not sleeping so i should. probably go do that sdhfuashdffus. good night

[cutemoniic]

a not so friendly reminder, because im pissed off as hell, that i keep a lot of stuff quiet to avoid ooc drama and stress. this is NOT one of these occasions, because i shut up about it for far too long. the person who is involved actually thinks that theyre getting off scotts free, but hoho and fucking HO theyre not.

i have despised those who played sweethearts, then revealed themselves as addicted to ic/ooc/whatever drama if it gave their muse(s) the spotlight, impulsivity and not really thinking about ic consequences over ooc and vice versa thus possibly harming their rp partners and the shared trust they have, those who only made their muses bond with fucking traumas because its the easiest way to both get attention and 'develope their character' (spoiler; its not!) and with people i cared about that revealed themselves as completely unwilling to take blame for anything that they caused unless it was to gather pity points and try to trick the other person in dropping it due to feeling bad for them waa waa waa. oh, and it includes trashtalking or making up sudden problems about other people who are supposedly close to them because its the easiest way to gather, you guessed it, attentions and pity points! its easier to blame things on people than to look at ourselves and say ''hey, maybe i am the problem, i should work on that...'' and while i can understand that you may not have the correct help network or even the meanings to help yourself, its very hard. but the moment you start hurting people, its when your mind should be dead set in getting actual fucking help. with ANY means necessary. bull-fucking-doze through everything just to get help.

the problem in this is that you promised me to try and change, or fuck off from our lives forever, which is a very convenient alternative of saying ''i do not intent in changing how i behave ever so ill leave you alone''. to quit rp because it was harming your mental health with various drama, and you said that ''you were plenty pissed at yourself'' for ''letting this happen'', when in reality you could have changed it around with a bit of spine put into it, but all the sweet words of support me and others gave to you were better than try and forcing yourself in an uncomfortable position of struggling to change and improve yourself. guess what you did? you never stopped rping. you took some days off cowering to see if there was gonna be backlash, then noticed that we werent going to call you the fuck out for your behavior, and went back to it immediately with 0 remorse, keeping the stuff our muses gifted you because we did not stopped you or told you anything about it so hey a loophole to exploit for muse purposes! it didnt mattered that another person was hurt by the fact that you were finicky and kept making up excuses to keep your muse in a cute uwu relationship as long as you had what you wanted and you could get yourself out of trouble by squeezing out a few tears. im very convinced that you only kept it around to have an excuse to have other relationship, so as soon as you got your #1 prize nothing else mattered to you, but you ALSO wanted that. for your impulsivity, you put muses and muns through uncomfortable, VERY alarming scenarios just to fullfill your need for your muse to be at the center of a fucked up show, and when confronted about it, you would pull the guilt trip card. im over that.

and not only this shitshow, you conveniently retconnected our muses from yours too, instead of addressing the situation properly or giving me more of a ''im sorry i suck sooooo FUCKING MUCH ill go now forget about me since im trash and please beat me to death on the way out''! you received 0 consequences for what you did, so you basked into it and ran like the wind back to what you were doing without a care that you hurt people who cared about you. you were ''still allowed'' to do things, making your final and victimistic speech to me completely and utter horse shit. you lied to me in your intentions because it got me off your back faster, despite me not being even remotely aggressive despite being pissed, but you never had any intentions of bettering yourself. it takes too much work, too many opportunities of attention wasted, so why actually sticking to it? you were deeply overwhelmed each time a muse was into drama, or better, when one of your muses wasnt at the center of attention, while stuffing your own muses FULL OF IT. FULL. OF. IT. i swear to fuck, i have never seen more drama filled muses than yours, and thats NOT a compliment or how a muse should even remotely be. a muse shouldnt be characterized by traumas and have them coddled and cuddled at every step if you want to bond with them. oh, and therapy for your muses to ACTUALLY solve their issues was a long, drawn out attention-filled endless journey that you forced my muse into, but the second someone else that you cared more about suggested it, you made your muse jumped over it like willy the fucking coyote would jump on beep beep, fully knowing that it would have appeared on our dashboards, since you were still following us and unfollowed me shortly after i unfollowed your muses. in case youre wondering, THIS THING was my breaking point. you are addicted to ic and ooc attentions both, and you feel no need to be better about anything until you can get what you want or need. this is entirely fucking malicious, and i cant stand it.

i dont have any other words for you, except that i could still very well give you an ample dose of backlash by simply going back into our chat, copy what you said about certaint people and how much ''trouble'' they were giving you, and paste it to them with no explanations. because, yknow, thanks to your inability of solving simple problems and blowing them WAY out of proportion to get sympathy out of it in hope to get peoples mind off other bigger problems, maybe caused me to misjudge some people who were probably clueless about ''what they were causing you'', because ooc communication is a thing from another planet, yeah? despite me actually CHEERLEADING you the fuck on to talk to them about the troubles you had with them, it never happened. im personally a very screenshott-y person in cases this shit happens. so no use going back and editing or even deleting the messages. i got what i needed already.

i know who i am speaking about. i will not name any names because i wanted this, originally, to stay quiet since it seemed ''solved'', but i know that this shit will reach them, and they will of course do absolutely nothing because of the reasons i listed upwards. maybe whine and moan and play victim as usual, probably trashtalk me around or twist the narrative instead of yknow trying to fix stuff. which i dont expect them to do, which they have NEVER done until they had no other way to receive attentions or to slip out of a situation, yadda yadda yadda. peace the fuck out. im done with this bullshit.

[spicyicymeloncat]

Ooh ooh! For my s11 rewrite I just had to frick up zane a bit more bc he had a villain arc and it should’ve been more angst yknow.

It’s under readmore bc i ended up writing kinda a lot but tl:dr I think Zane has many problems he never confronts because he’s too busy trying to be a hero and a protector

Imma link my rewrite also

So I tried to give him more agency bc the amnesia thing kinda just feels like an excuse for his accountability for his war crimes (looking back I kinda think the fact he lost agency and his memories is actually more of a theme so I feel like maybe I could’ve reworked it to acknowledge that but oh well).

Instead I changed how corrupted ice works. Corrupted ice has been around long before zane arrived (additionally, there’s no time travel bc it doesn’t make sense), and the ice functions like the mirror from the explorer’s club. It reflects people’s greatest fears. It also has the power to create ice monsters out of fear as well which is fun.

Also the scrolls of forbidden spinjitzu are explicitly stated to convince the wielded that the only way to solve their problems is through immense power and it heightens emotions (this was explored with Aspheera who in the rewrite, is ever more so slightly tragic).

So Zane is sent to this realm surrounded by the angst ice tm which makes the already bad situation worse, he’s worried he’s going to be alone forever etc etc, and he tries desperately to fix the mech so he stands more of a chance at crossing the ice and finding help. At this point he is kept company by Kataru who I also changed drastically. Kataru ended up never finding his animal form and has effectively run away from his village, and ends up staying with Zane and honestly he’s pretty depressed about it all. He and Zane kinda just wallow, as they’re unable to leave the cave they’re in because of the snow and ice and generally weather conditions.

Zane keeps trying to fix the mech, getting worn down or injured in the process, maybe sacrificing parts of his body as material to repair the mech and he uses the scroll of forbidden spinjitzu to replace his body with ice (corrupted ice). That’s not great also because now he’s literally made out of trauma ice. At some point Kataru tries to take the staff of him, I think I said that Kataru does it out of worry bc it’s kinda an unhealthy coping mechanism that if Zane used again, would completely lose himself. Zane didn’t take it well and the conflict caused the ice to create a huge ice monster (idk it might be a reflection of a dragon or the overlord or something) which Zane ends up having to use the staff anyways to defeat it (there are many yetis living with them, kinda random but the yetis are in Zane’s tragic backstory anyways so he has something to protect).

In the fight, Zane uses the scroll and after sustaining critical damages, he uses it to strengthen himself. But afterwards he’s replaced most of himself with ice and it’s kind of the last straw for him (also the scroll gets to his head) and he goes full on dictator to cope. His reasoning being is that his only purpose is to protect, and the entire realm is riddled with ice monsters that threaten everyone and his only way to protect (himself) is to completely shut himself and everyone else off. So he begins his conquest to use the scroll to freeze everyone so they can’t be in danger and their consciousness’s only exist in a sort of dream world state. Kataru only survives by convincing Zane that he needs someone on the outside who knows the realm to assist him on his conquest, and only manages to scare Akita away in an attempt to get her to save herself, whilst appearing to be loyal to the ice emperor (yeah Kataru is Vex).

That would’ve all been unpacked in the episode Corruption, and in other episodes, the ice emperor would’ve faced off against Lloyd and specifically highlight how both Zane and Lloyd both have the need to do things alone because both of them are more resistant/powerful than the other ninja and they have hero complexes (Zane being a robot with expendable parts, and Lloyd being the green ninja grandson of god). Lloyd eventually would’ve got frozen and would’ve had to confront Zane in the dreamscape world and would have tried to convince Zane to have hope again and also not to just try and cope by hiding his pain away, both by ignoring his own needs and sacrificing himself because he thinks he’s only built to protect others and not himself, and also by trapping people in a world where they can’t feel pain because they can’t live life either.

It turns out alright in the end and the entire season is just a big metaphor for coping with hardship (at the end it’s alluded to the idea that the fsm, creator of the scrolls, made them whilst going through things too, and had also been to the never realm, probs causing the corrupted ice in the first place)

To anyone who has a Ninjago rewrite, fan-season or anything, what kind of problems did you give the characters or how badly did you make the preexisting ones worse?