#yk it's for a reason 😉

[myauditionfordrphil]

Rutu scoring 77* on Mahi's birthday after posting a story of them on facetime 🤌✨️

[kisses4tom]

Sooo, since we got Uncle Billy do we now get GirlDad!Tom ?? I’ve looked high and low for a Tom X Reader family story😂😭 your writing is amazing <3

ᡣ𐭩 DADDY TOM

───────────────

YAYY FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTED THIS!! 😭 I've been dying to write something like this since I have already made an uncle tommy hc! and thank you so much ml 💕

I think we can ALL collectively agree that Tom would be the BEST girl dad, right? 🌚 so the baby will be a little girl!

also I'm gonna make this a teen pregnancy (18), so from the very start up til now!

───────────────

when he finds out he would probably freeze for a moment before finally reacting (gotta soak it in yk)

he would be happy but shocked and confused at the same time

scared not to be present enough because of tour and the band

he would always kiss and touch your stomach

he'd cry when hearing the baby's heartbeat to the doctor 🥹🫶🏻

"I want the baby to be healthy, but if I had to guess I think it's a boy" (he 100% wants a girl)

idk I feel like he would call the baby "kleine Prinzessin" (little princess) or "kleiner Soldat" (little soldier) !!

when you go into labor he tries to keep his cool but deep down he's in full panic mode

the first time he met/held her it was like love at first sight for him even if he didn't quite know how to act since he never really had any past experiences with babies

he's very careful and gentle with her

always holding her

he would attack her with tickles to hear her little laugh

kiss attacks also

playing with her all the time

he wouldn't essentially spoil her (that's uncle Billy's job 😉) but he definitely gets her most things because he can't say no to that little face!

likes holding and showing her around: "look who's that in the mirror? it's you!"

definitely hiding her from the media

yet he LOVES talking about her in interviews!

though very very VERY rarely he would bring her out on stage and hold her like mf simba when she was about 1/2

his heart is always full whenever she's around

he would kneel down to talk to her‼️😩

always pushing her stroller or carrying her on his shoulders

don't ask me why but he'd get into play fights with her at the dinner table 😭 (especially when she's still learning to talk so she's speaking gibberish 😭)

he loves to take her baths and put fun toys in the tub

finds her extremely adorable in everything she wears

he'd give her his yellow dog plushie‼️😭 currently sobbing

I feel like he would try his best to let the baby's first word be "papa" 😭

when she's older he would start being more himself (so talk about things freely and make dirty jokes all the time)

he's not a regular dad, he's a cool dad! 😏 (please get the reference 😭)

he'd give her the talk 🫢🐝

he would pick her up in weird ways and make her laugh (like upside down etc lmfao 💀)

would let her do his hair but not his make-up

like I said in my uncle Tommy hc, i feel like he would love to play with the toy kitchen for some reason idk 💀

he's the overprotective girl dad FOR SURE (AND ITS THE HOTTEST AND CUTEST THING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE)

he'd go down the slide with her 😭

at lunch/dinner he would always sit next to her

looooves when she's at their concerts and would ask Bill to dedicate her a song (especially her favorite)

he'd definitely write her a song too

he would make her try to eat a lemon 😭🍋

it's important to him that she has a good bond with her uncle Bill and the boys too! (uncle Georg and uncle Gustav 🥹)

"Y/n she looks more like me than you, gotta be honest"

he would give her what he didn't have growing up (if you read Bill's book, like I have, you'll know)

he wouldn't let anybody hurt or say anything wrong about her

hype man fr

high-key a very chill and permissive dad

he would make sure she knows her worth and to always be herself, without listening to what others say

always saying that she's the better copy of him

since he had her young, people (maybe even teachers at parent teacher conferences) mistake him for her brother and it's needless to say that he's very flattered while his daughter is just like 😐

they have a great bond

LITTLE FUN FACT‼️ Tom said in his podcast that if he ever has a daughter then his dream is to name her Nala like in the lion king movie 🤭😭 crying rivers rn part 2

your daughter tags along on tours, especially because it's very important for Tom and she loves it (idk if I already said this but oh well lmfaoo)

I have a feeling almost all her friends have a crush on Tom (i know i would 😋)

Tom is such a basic dad istg, he does bbq every sunday

if y'all ever become parents a second time then he would definitely have a happier reaction than the first one, yet he would be scared to take care of two little creatures~

his fans always ask about her during meet and greets and give her little presents, which he appreciates a lot

your daughter is pretty much popular in the entire fanbase you guys have and is considered a "lucky charm" from the band

Tom would give her the longest and most comforting hugs known to mankind

he'd make her a memory book with Bill 😭

and he'd give her some old goodies of his!

like some of his old clothes, hats, glasses etc..

overall he's the best dad and UGHHFHSJENF I cry just thinking about him not having any biological children :(

i hope you enjoyed this !! 💕 (also i apologize for any spelling mistakes but your girl over here is too lazy to re-read 🤪 love y'aaaallll)

[done-with-the-shit]

->Relationship Headcanons<-

Chuuya x Reader

This is the first time I write headcanons so it may not be very good.. Also English is not my first language, please keep that in mind while reading! Ty and enjoy♡

Anime: Bungou Stray Dogs

Characters: Chuuya Nakahara

Note: GN!Reader

///SFW///

I imagine that after an eternity of denying his feelings, he angrily confessed to you without even realising he did😃

Like you'd be minding your own business and he just randomly comes to you screaming in your face about how he hates the fact that he loves you or something...

After that he will most likely lock himself in his office and regret his life decisions😕

But you will go to him and also confess your undying obsession love for him so it's all fine!

Anyways as for when you two start actually dating he would be such a lovely boyfriend♡

Very romantic for sure~

Like definitely buys you flowers 'cause why not?

He'd also spoil the hell out of you.

He works for the mafia after all so money isn't a problem for him😉

If you are taller than him please don't tease him!! (my man's only 5'3🤭)

After all he is still growing!

Lots of PDA.. that's all I'm gonna say

He enjoys taking you out to fancy dinners, but he also loves spending nights in, just watching TV and maybe drinking some wine with you~

You are the only person who can wear his hat and coat^-^

He secretly likes to see you in his clothing but you didn't hear that from me~

Chuuya is very good at cooking😌 so if you can't cook he will do it for you... he may even teach you if you want!

He also loves all the affection you give him!!

Even if you just hug or kiss him he will be melting in your hands literally

Being his usual self fucking tsundere he won't admit that he likes cuddling with you, but don't be fooled, he very much enjoys being spooned and loved by you!

Chuuya needs to be the little spoon! My boy deserves all the love you can give him!! (Just don't tell Dazai 'cause he won't stop bothering our chibi about it😔)

He's also secretly scared of hurting you with his ability, so he's super careful around you.

All in all he is such a softy with us🥺

Anyways.. let's get to the interesting stuff~~

///NSFW///

Let's be honest this boy is a fucking switch😤

So I imagine him as a soft dom and a braty sub (don't ask why though👀)

And he is definitely open to trying all your kinks you nasty whore😒

But who am I kidding I have no right to judge..

Anyways.. I bet he has a knife and bandage kink

I mean just imagine yourself all tied up with this small man on top of you!!

Or the other way around😏

He enjoy biting you.. (that's all I'm gonna say)

I personally think that he only dom's in two occasions..

First being if you had a rough day and he just wants to make you feel better~

Another reason for you to let him dom is when he is angry at something or someone.. yk to help him relieve stress (if he doesn't ask you to fuck him instead😉)

All the other times?

Oh this boy will be begging you to fuck him while explaining how he is still the one in control denial

I mean as a said earlier he is pretty much a tsundere so..

Because of that you'd have to be someone he really, really trusts for him to let you take control

But once you get his trust? Oh boy you are in for it I'm telling you😩😩

He is going to be such a brat and would love to push you to your limit~

But don't worry he is actually pretty easy to handle

Just pin him beneath you and he will shut up..

And if he doesn't just tug at his choker! What else would he wear it for!?

Oh boy do not forget that beautiful hair of his😍

It's just made for pulling~

PRAISE KINK PRAISE KINK PRAISE KINK

Do I really need to say more??

Loud? Yes..

His moans are so incredibly loud like he doesn't hold back😩😫

Edging and overstimulation?

He loves hates it.. And will not tell you otherwise

But his favourite part is the aftercare~

Baby is so tired he needs your help!!

Take him to the bathroom and give him a nice warm bath (he deserves it for being such a good boy for you😖)

Loves it when you give him a lots of kisses and cuddles afterwards~

>>MORE OF MY WORKS<<

[formulaa-1]

Instagram au! 📸

driver!y/n x charles leclerc

off season comes with some new developments..

y/nusername

y/nusername: off seasons spent in my homeland are always the best ones🌺🍇

Liked by Charles_leclerc and 805,672 others

view all 8,488 comments

@user64: SHES SO AESTHETIC OMG😩

ferrarifann27: right?😩😩

charlesleclercfan139:CHARLES LIKED !!!

@user3183: wait what she’s from Hawaii???

@McLaren: 🌺🍇

@lorenzotl: have a good time !

y/nusername:thankuuuu🫶🏻

user092: WAIT WAIT WHATS GOING ON??

Charles_leclerc

Charles_leclerc: Hawaii🌺

Liked by y/nusername and 808,500 others

view all 7,544 comments

@User64:wait a minute…y/n and Charles are both in Hawaii?

y/nsbiggestfan21:they’re good friends they’ve probably been on a group holiday plus he’s only recently broken up with Charlotte

@scuderiaferrari:🌺🌺

@Pierregasly: have fun guys😉

Charles_leclerc:we will!

user38: WE???GUYS??

@Forzaferrari183:OMG

F1Updates

F1Updates: @y/nusername and @Charles_leclerc spotted getting cozy in Hawaii !

Liked by user629 and 3,461 others

view all 620 comments

@user629: NO WAY!!! my two faves 🥺

@y/nluveer: they’ve got to be dating!!!! For sure !

Chacha19:he’s literally only recently broke up with Charlotte…bit weird if you ask me…

2_user48:good job no one’s asking you then.

@leclercdaily: is it just me who wants them to actually be together?

y/nsbiggestfan21: I want them together but since they’re both drivers I feel like it won’t end well if they are together yk?

user9219: idk I feel like they’ve been friends for ages and they’ve managed to keep there friendship strong so idk

y/nusername

y/nusername: I should start a .jpg 📸

Liked by landonorris,Charles_leclerc and 925,028 others

view all 53,028 comments

landonorris: join the club y/n 😩

y/nusername:you’ve tempted me lan🙄

landonorris:I DID IT GUYS😆😆

@user629: WHOSE HAND IS THAT

@y/nsupporterz101: that’s deffo Charles hand!

user88:this is deffo a soft launch!!!

arthur_leclerc: did my invite get lost in the mail?

y/nusername: yes😔😔

arthur-leclerc: 😠😠

@F1Updates: ARTHUR COMMENTED ITS DEFFO CHARLES!!!!!!!

@user121:OH MY GOD😫😫😫

Charles_leclerc

Charles_leclerc: part time drivers full time surfers 🌊😉 @y/nusername

Liked by y/nusername, pierregasly and 1,080,455 others

view all 123,015 comments

@y/nusername: you fell off more than 15 times…

Charles_leclerc: no need for lies y/n 😔

y/nusername: 🤨🤨

Charles_leclerc: ❤️

@lorenzotl: ❤️

@arthur_leclerc:still waiting for that invite…

@F1Updates: OMG ITS CONFIRMED 😍

@Chacha19: seriously Charles? it’s barely been a month ..

User71:omg just leave them alone! him and Charlotte obviously broke up for a reason. Charlottes happy ,Charles is happy ? Stop trying to cause drama.

@scuderiaferrari: @mclaren me n u ?

McLaren:in your dreams

(AUTHORS NOTE:this is my first time ever writing and doing an Instagram au sooooo please let me know if its any good or not lmao )

[dirty-little-mind33]

Hi I have kind of a silly thought to share. Please imagine Tangerine going down on his girlfriend, who is unable to stop laughing because she’s thinking of a ridiculous animal picture or a meme. Bonus points if she shows it to him and it makes him at least crack a smile. She’s ridiculous but it’s one of the reasons that he loves her! (I may send a couple of asks, please don’t feel pressured to react to them! I’m the 💜 anon from your writing blog btw.)

omg hi 💜 anon!!!!

i've been kinda MIA on this account but i do wanna answer them all! (i received your kraven ask on pretty-little-mind33 and have been keeping it in my back pocket for a future smut that's why i never responded!)

silly sex with Tangerine is something so personal to me bc it feels ooc when you first think of it BUT then you realize…Tangerine is SO silly. like he'd constantly make his girl laugh (unintentionally in the beginning) and he'd l o v e it.

he'd loving seeing you have the giggles yk? like imagine you're giggling too hard and he begins to get frustrated because you aren't paying attention to his wonderful work

"Oi, sweetness. Focus on me, yeah?"

but the moment you explain and show him, he ends up laughing with you and you guys talk until you become horny again and Tangerine can continue 😉 he's surprisingly patient ✨

[star-girl69]

you would be so loved and cherished with lottienat like… touch starved reader who tears up every time one of them plays with your hair or even just holds ur hand and they get concerned😭😭 i think they’d be even more touchy after the crash too esp if you got hurt like they’d never leave your side.

THIS!!!! THIS IS IT!!!! THIS IS THE ONE!!!!

tbh…. everyone in that relationship is a little touch starved 😭😭

but like let’s say that if nat and lottie have been together for a while before you came along so they’ve gotten a little more comfortable

i feel like lottie is definitely the one to initiate the most physical touch

whether she’s asking you to braid her hair or climbing on top of you and demanding you scratch her back, or just putting her hand on your thigh when she drives, her hand on the small of your back when you’re out in public…. (i could go on and AWN)

natalie is definitely a little more hesitant in initiating anything but once she gets more comfortable, she really does have a lot of love to give, and will shower you in it if you let her

definitely the type to just kinda put her face in your neck when you’re near each other, pulling you into her lap or just near her at any social function, sitting with your legs in her lap, she LOOOOVVVEESS playing with yours and lottie’s hair (i have no explanation for this i just know it)

if you ever just kinda like flinched from shock or started crying a bit they would be so concerned??? “baby please what’s wrong??? are you hurt??? did something happen??? who do we need to kill???”

and when you’re like no no nothing like that i’m just a little… touch starved

they’re just kinda like oh! bc i mean it doesn’t really matter to them yk? they’ll shower you in love and affection either way tbh

and now…. sleeping is such a fun experience with these two

most of the time if you have sleepovers they’re at lottie’s house, bc her parents are never home and she has the biggest bed

at first natalie was definitely kinda stiff just because it was a new and unknown place but lottie made both of you feel comfortable! (wink wink 😉) (i’m sorry)

natalie is probably just on top of you let’s be honest like you wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe drenched in sweat and you have to PUSH her off of you

five minutes later she’s rolling right back onto you

lottie is probably on your other side, her arm around yours and natalie’s waists, and she’s just happy when your legs all tangle together like girly is literally falling asleep with a smile on her face going “mimimimimimi”

post crash is cray!!!!!

not only is there a literal biological survival NEED for you guys to be close bc hello??? winter = cold

they’re definitely a little too happy about that part bc like…. now natalie has a REASON to crush you!!

“GET OFF OF ME I CANT BREATHE”

“IM LITERALLY JUST MAKING SURE YOURE WARM”

and lottie is just all happy with her arms around everyone like she’s so cute i cant 😭😭

[kamiversee]

“I like both ideas too bc I feel like they’d have just a split second of genuine intimacy before they start bickering with one another— probably one exposing the other for checking them out even tho they were both thinking & feeling the same things yk? ^.^”

KAMIIIOI UR GONNA KILL ME😫😫 THE WAY MY WHOLE BODY ACTUALLY TWITCHED HAS TO BE A CRIME.

THEY NEED TO FALL IN LOVE. POLY ENDING WHEN🗣️🗣️🗣️

“probably one exposing the other for checking them out even tho they were both thinking & feeling the same things yk?”

yes! keep talking! keep me delusional!!!! YES

YES

YES

i need them to have that argument in the third part.

“erhm why were you checking me out”🫵

“uhm you wish”😒

“you know damn well you were, stop hiding it”😩

“okay and so what if i was”😳

they stare at eachother for a long time and then start kissing so hard they swallow eachother<3

what a bunch of queers💀🙏

-🍦

Something came over me so here;

Most likely it’d be Gojo that loses himself staring at Choso’s lips. Sure, you’d be in between the two getting fucked like a whore but who’d care about that in the heat of the moment? Gojo’s probably spaced out bc you’re squeezing around him so tightly & he didn’t really know where to look so he just finds himself staring at Choso’s wet lips.

Yup, and then Choso would catch him staring and raise a brow, immediately sending him a disgusted look, while saying something like “Fuck are you staring at?”

Gojo would scoff and roll his eyes before glancing off to the side, “Not you, fuckin’ weirdo.”

“Yeah, says the one who was starin’ at my lips. What, you wanna kiss or somethin’?” Choso would joke, totally not offering one in anyway.

And for whatever reason, Gojo’s eyes would trail back over and he’d lean closer just to test the guy, “Yeah, sure,” He’d tease with a wink.

Again, Choso is disgusted but a bit more baffled that time around, swallowing hard and barely looking down at Gojo’s pretty blush-tinted lips.

He’d scowl at the guy before shaking his head at him, “Of course you do,” Choso would result in saying instead of moving to give Gojo what he seemed to have wanted.

Then Gojo’s smirking like crazy, all fucked out and dazed by you below him and the odd entertainment he finds in whatever banter he has with your boyfriend. “What’s that supposed t’mean?” He’d ask with an innocent tilt of his head.

Choso would again meet the man’s gaze, as if he weren’t burring himself into your throat right now, before scoffing, “You’re jus’ like my girlfriend.”

“Meaning?” Gojo blinks so slowly, as ig he didn’t know what Choso was implying.

And even if he really didn’t know, Choso clarifies what he means anyway, “You’re a fuckin’ slut.”

Gojo’s smiling, “Am I now?”

“Yup,” Choso would grunt out.

There’s another moment of the two gazing at one another before Gojo’s face twists up and Choso’s cock would twitch at the sight.

Then it’d only get worse when Gojo moans, “Fuuck, call me that again, m’close.”

Choso’s body would go rigid, “W-What?”

“What?” Gojo hums.

“…the fuck is wrong with you two?” You’d suddenly chime in outta’ nowhere.

To which they’d both look down at you and tell you to shut up in unison :)

—

Anywho this isn’t what’s gonna happen but yeah, felt cute, might delete later 😉

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: addiction, serious illness

Totally done and still sad because I saw Daniel and this stupid girl today I came home after work. Nico wasn’t home yet. I was kind of relieved about that. I wasn't sure, if I should tell him? I mean, nothing happened, but what I said to Daniel today was just not ok! It was totally unfair and selfish.

As soon as I got home, I went for a walk with N.’s dog. Back home I took a shower & I lay down on the bed. I wasn’t feeling so well. I got serv pain in my right knee and my hands also hurt. It bothered me so much, that I had to take a painkiller. After that it slowly got better while I fell asleep.

A little later N. came home. I heard him come up to the bedroom and watch me sleep. Nico has an extraordinary talent for disturbing me while sleeping. No, tbh it's really cute. Every morning before he leaves the house, he comes back to the bedroom to me, while I’m mostly still sleeping. He kisses me and tells me quietly that he loves me. In the beginning I found it hard to get used to. It's annoying to be woken up by him in the morning (5.00 am!) just because he has to kiss me. Yk? It wasn’t until he was gone (abroad), that I realized how much I missed being woken up by him in the morning.🩷 But back to that day, it was not in the morning, but in the evening.

N. saw the painkillers I had taken next to me on the bed, thinking I was sick or something.

Nico: Hey babe.... Are you ok?

Me: M-hm... Yea, I'm ok.... Where were you? I missed you.

Nico: I said good-bye to Damien and the others. They’re going back to Italy tomorrow.

Me: Yea, without you.... You stay here, with me. So happy about that. Right now I need you with me. I've had a really, really bad day N.... And you? How is your new team? Are they nice?

Nico: Agh...well, what can I say? Germans, yk?🤷‍♀️😉 But it was ok and it’s nice to be home, not somewhere alone abroad ..... Did you see Dilek today?

Me: No, she’s sick. She stayed home.

Nico: Are you sick too? I see you’ve taken painkillers.

Me: My knee hurt again. Somehow my whole body hurts, my hands and legs... But I'm fine. 🙂

Nico: You should tell your doc. You are pregnant. Maybe it has something to do with it?

Me: Yea, but don't worry. I know this pain. It's nothing. I’ve had this pain since I was a kid. It comes and goes, but it’s not serious. My muscles and bones are just very sensitive to pain. 🫤

Nico: It’s all right, babe. But if I see you get pain again, I’ll take you to your doc. I don’t want to scare you, you know that! But you don’t hurt for no reason. Sure, it's nothing, but it’s better to get it checked out before you need to take painkillers again.

Me: Chill Nico!! I know you’re afraid I might get addicted to painkillers . But c'mon, N.! It's just ibuprofen. 😄🤷‍♀️My pill addiction is past. I know I was difficult for you back then, but I promise, this won’t happen anymore. Love you.

Nico didn’t worry about my pill addiction, but actually about the pain I had. A few days ago, my knee hurt so badly that I could not walk. I even cried. But after I took a painkiller, it stopped again. That pain I had in my muscles and bones will get really bad after delivery. Not immediately after delivery, a few months later. But I do not want to draw too much attention to this issue now. Later, when the time comes, I will explain this in more detail. These were the first symptoms of a serious illness. Since CML is not so easy to diagnose, it will take a while for me to get the diagnosis.

And about Daniel I didn't tell Nico. I was happy with N. and we’re about to have a Baby, so I decided to somehow forget Daniel and let him go. But something happened that night!😞 Daniel texted me at 1:00 a.m. I’ll see him tomorrow again. 😢

Previous/Next

[cancerianfille]

So as a pre-2020 tumblr user, mayself 😌👸🏻*hehe🤭*

.

I used to find those posts that say : reasons why im loosin’ weight :

Or : reasons why im a th1nsboo (written in it’s original way fo’ sure) :

.

N those typpa posts yk !

.

But now , post-2020 . Tumblr is restrictin’ our community . N it pops out a warnin’ board notification once u search “th1nsboo” 🔍

-*written in it’s original way fo’ sure*-

.

So, now that im back at my @n@ shit again .

Im findin’ that every @n@ gurlie like me is makin’ her own way o’ typin’ @n@ related stuff here on tumblr .

.

N some enjoyable posts that i used to find pre-2020 , now I can’t find them post-2020 !!!!

Which makes my @n@ journey , suckin’ 🤮 .

N it also makes me sad ! 😢 that tumblr is changin’ .

.

Buuuuut ! 😮

They say : if u wanna make a change , start w urself 1st .

.

Soooooooo ! 😯

Im gonna make those typpa posts n make them comeback slowly but surely ! Again, to this magnificent platform !

N u can also make ur own version o’ this post so u can inspire me on my journey , n also inspire urself on ur journey , n every other @n@ on here !

.

Jus’ stay tuned . 😉

N tell me what u think ‘bout that in the comments below ?!

[asherlockstudy]

i need thoughts from the fav rhink truther

regarding the kiss, since it was scripted, it means randl approved it (or even suggested it themselves?).. I like to imagine they're testing the waters, feeling out and being a little more open. because if they are in a relationship, the crew know by now for sure. yk speculating is kinda fun when it's harmless

Faaacts 😉

Okay. The kiss was the 3S: scripted - staged - strategic.

You can tell it was scripted by how desperately it is pushed into the intro. Rhett seems to find no alternative response to Link’s “Give me some sugar” except to kiss him. Everyone who has watched them more than a week however knows very well that such lines are relatively common from Link and Rhett never responds to them likewise.

One can easily tell it’s staged from their reactions prior and after. Rhett is a little tense before it and they both (try to) act mildly grossed out afterwards. Rhett turns to the crew members (who are supportive) and instead of accepting their approval he makes an apologetic gesture conveying the meaning “sorry, I didn’t know how to respond so I did that”. It’s very basic acting at best. Link on the other hand, his job was to look a little weirded out by Rhett’s kiss, however you can see a part of him wanting this to happen so there is this tiny smile that he tries to suppress throughout which gives him a confusing expression. Instead of looking awkward or weirded out, he ends up looking flirty pouty. He unintentionally (or maybe intentionally: read further below) looks exactly like the angry partner who is swayed by their SO’s charms and he tries hard to not show he’s melting inside. He recovers from it by quickly calling out sarcastically the crew for being fond of this moment.

Aside from Link’s contained and very suppressed contentment, you can see that the kiss itself comes very effortlessly to Rhett but he has the scripted sour expression fixed on his face regardless.

Of course we know that if this wasn’t staged the natural reactions would be totally different. Compare with Link’s kiss on Rhett’s head at a moment Rhett was acting like a dying Italian grandpa.

This was Link’s improvisation (it wasn’t exactly impulse because you could see him thinking it over and over and landing on it) but he genuinely wanted to do it and Rhett truly did not expect it. As a result, Rhett went into a sudden frenzy of going with Jessie to Italy for the wedding anniversary plans, while Link had a frozen unnatural smile on his face for the rest of the episode and his eyes had gone very glassy. Compare it also with the much heavier duty of Rhett sucking Link’s nipple on GME3, in which case Rhett looked totally unbothered, almost in his element, so being hesitant for a clean kiss on the cheek simply makes no sense. Link on the other hand was reaching his limits and demonstrated distress, which IMO was because he felt too vulnerable and exposed - even stimulated - to be okay with this going public. His boundaries were pushed there that day but everyone has collectively chose to ignore this. Another reason I dislike GME.

Of course, all these reactions are not because it was “finally” a kiss waiting too long to happen (Chuck Testa voiceover) NOOOOPE. It’s because of the stark contrast of doing something like this in public, outside of the familiar full secrecy of the closet. This is what makes Link’s eyes go glassy and Rhett panic, not the kiss itself. So, we are not in another Newsical Kiss situation, when it was indeed the plexiglass kiss that made them lose their minds. NOOOOPE. That phase has been long gone.

Consequently, the kiss was truly squeezed in there out of necessity because I don’t see any other reason for it to be there. There wasn’t even any sort of association to the theme of the episode (which is why it seemed so forced with the “give me some sugar” line). Since it was added to an irrelevant episode out of need, we should start asking what special or different thing happened yesterday, so that they would go for such an atypical choice out of the blue?

The special thing that happened yesterday was the Wonderhole trailer. If you watched said trailer, you must have seen that there is hardly any frame that does not feature a heavily gay innuendo. The humorous scenes featured in the trailer are all simply gay jokes. It’s not even adult humour in general or sex humour or straight sex humour (since that’s what they are, huh?👀👀👀). No it’s all gay sex humour between the two. So glaring that finally some eyes were opened in the comment section - the video has both comments digging the gayness however it now also has commentators finding it “too inappropriate”, “too much”, even an unfollow declaration I think. That’s good - Rhett must start getting used to the fact that this is how it’s going to be from now on, unfortunately.

The kiss however drew a lot of the attention that would normally be given to the trailer. In the GMM episode comment section, people talk about the kiss (“aww I wish I had such a friendship!” 🤦‍♀️) and the food… of course (💀). Between the two, the wild shit happening in the trailer is somewhat overlooked, unlike in the standalone trailer comment section.

The question is: whatever they were trying to achieve with the kiss, did they achieve it? Was the purpose really to draw the attention away from the trailer? Counterintuitive as it may seem, I believe the kiss was a “not yet” reminder before the wildness of the trailer. Think about it: the message sent through the kiss is not that Rhett loves Link. The message is that they looked out of their element during the kiss “haha look how awkward they are when they are trying this, bless their straight bro souls”. The intention was for this to happen immediately before the trailer, so that the naysayers and the cishets and the conservatives won’t be scared away. So, one would see the trailer and be like “woah what is happening here, this is being too gay…but oh yeah they just kissed and it was awkward and Link didn’t like it so I guess it’s all jokes for silliness in the show, it’s all good, I can rest easy”. In short, the “forced” kiss aimed to mellow down the edge of the show. And if anything big comes out of the show (which is in no way guaranteed, let’s be real, Rhett is too scared for me to trust that he won’t back away at any moment) they want viewers to move through all of it until they get to the truth of it, they don’t want to drive away people in advance.

The fact that Link then criticises the kiss further strengthens the notion that it was supposed to be perceived as a somewhat unpleasant experience. But it’s very important, it was supposed to be SOMEWHAT unpleasant. They were supposed to look MILDLY awkward. Rhett was supposed to entertain it finally “Want some sugar? Okay I am gonna try it out… I guess.” Rhett was supposed to turn to the crew in confusion and be cheered by them and Link was supposed to remain receptive to Rhett’s advance and not be like “whoa homie what’s that for?” even if he didn’t look crazy about it. Maybe even the suppressed contentment was actually part of the segment.

The ultimate purpose is to ease people in it VERY slowly. Slowly slowly. Keep them when there’s distance. Keep them when the distance narrows. Keep them when there’s no distance but hey at least there is awkwardness. KEEP them when the awkwardness lessens. And then POOF!!! The awkwardness is gone as well. It’s a torturously slow process. Like I have said before, it is manipulation and conditioning of the viewers. They know they will lose the conservatives and bigots but they try to ease in and keep the oblivious and the confused. The crew’s cheering despite R&L’s MILD discomfort is a subliminal message to urge us to see the sweetness, the love of it and cheer them too.

And yes, the crew is obviously in on it. It has been for quite a while. I have been seeing evidence of this since early 2023 already, which is insane. It makes you wonder how can so many people know (even if it’s just the main writers and producers), what is the TRUE status with real life friends and relatives then?????

[fl0w3r-33]

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

If You Think Im Pretty...

summery: you realized you took the teasing a bit to far when your girlfriend had you pinned to the bed

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

masc!bella x fem!reader

(idk why bella’s the first name that came to mind🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️)

WARNING: smut!!, lots of plot bc im feeling this character lowkey, wlw, teasing, kissing, cursing, fingering, squirting, praising, !POC friendly!,!plus sized friendly!,heavy petting, ma/mama, baby, babe nicknames

a/n: not what i normally do but yk😉 i tried to stay away from the y/n crap as best as i could 😶

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

I watched Bella run her hand over my side of your bed looking for me, through the partly opened door leading to our room. I continued to scrambling the eggs in a pan hearing movement from my room. “Morin’ mama” she grumbles waddling out of our room. “Hi baby, how’d you sleep” staring down at her abs and slight v-line that peeks above her basketball shorts. She lets out a long sigh , “I slept fine, thanks for getting up to make breakfast” i feel her presence behind me and her chin dropped on my shoulder. I slowly back into her as she jokingly pushed me off her with a smile, “ here” i turn around and hand her a plate full of pancakes with a side of egg, walk around to the bar stool giving me a wink while settling down at the counter to eat.

“Baby do you want to go shopping?” i yell from our room. “Yeah , when?” she asks focusing back on the tv. “ I was thinking like now but can you come help me i can’t pick between two outfits” i pulling a shirt over my head that was her favorite for a certain reason. I see her appear in the body length mirror looking between my face and my boobs slightly hanging out my top. “ok so i had this one and then hold on-“ i say taking my shirt off throwing in to the bed and pulling down my shorts. i smiled to myself watching her eyes widen and her cheeks flushing pink. Bella clears her throat tearing her eyes away from my half naked reflection. ”so uh what’s the next one ma” she whispers “secretly” adjusting her pants ignoring the heat between her legs. I step into the light purple dress, pulling it up and holding the top over my boobs. “ i got you baby” she runs her hand over the small of my back slowly zipping it up. i spin around jokingly doing poses infront of her. “i like this one i think your pretty” she wraps her arms around my waist , i lean in giving her a small kiss on her lips. i wiggle out of her grasp giggling and running out the car.

I watched as the wind blew around her long blonde hair and how the sunlight perfectly lit up her beautiful green eyes. I look down at her tattooed thighs bring my hand over to trace them, she stiffened up in her seat, gripping the steering wheel till her knuckles turned white. i run my hand closer to the hem of her shorts. her sucked in a hard breath parking the car and turning it off.

Walking through, i came across the candy isle, i grabbed a bag of mini skittles and sour patch kids. I ran up to bella holding the bags in either hand “movie night??” i say hand her the candy, “yesss cmon let’s go get popcorn and drinks” she throws the bags into the cart turning the corner. I walk over to the drinks purposely bending over to see to bottom shelf’s. Bella rolls over the cart with her eyes only fixated on my ass, i push my hips up giving her a glimpse of my light pink panties underneath.(i can’t be the only one who hates “panties” like just say underwear) I hand her a dr.pepper grabbing myself a sprite turning around to look at her.At this point her face was almost beat red and her legs shaking for how long i’ve been teasing her for.

I threw the bags in back of the car and shut the trunk. I opened the passenger door sitting down with a sigh as Bella turned the keys. I did the same thing i did before outlining her thigh tattoos inching closer to her core. She was avoiding eye contact making little noises when i would “accidentally” let my hand travel to far. Her fingers were impatiently tapping the steering wheel at every red light and her eyes stared straight ahead trying to ignore the pit in her stomach.

i laid out the treats on the nightstand, turning on the tv to netflix. i switch into pj shorts and a black crop top laying in the bed on top of the covers. Bella came from the bathroom with wet hair wearing a sports bra and the same basketball shorts from last night. i made grabby hands at her and spreading my legs so she could lay in between them, i wrapped my legs around her waist hugging her back into me. i start rubbing my hands on her shoulders and stomach, feeling the muscle is her abs. I rub my fingers slowly up and down her v-line.

“Baby i know i what you doing” i put a hard stop to my movements waiting for her speak again. She chuckled moving my hand off her stomach, turning over so we’re face to face while she’s on top of me. “You’ve gone all quiet you don’t want to tease me anymore?” she tilts her head. She lowers her face down, kissing my lips. Her hand came over to touch my hard hardened nipples through my thin shirt, i gasp, allowing her tongue to slip in between my lips and explore my mouth. She pulls away moving her kiss down to my neck, leaving small marks everywhere she goes. Tugging at the hem of my shirt, i sit up a bit letting her take of my shirt. She move down my body, grabbing and sucking on tits, “baby please” i whine. “wait” placing hickeys down my stomach and across the waistband of my shorts. “Take em’ off” she whispers, i raised my hips pulling them down to my ankles, throwing them off the bed. She slips her hands in between my legs spreading them open to lay there, she slides her fingers through my folds spreading them open, “ god you’re so wet, i didn’t even touch you yet” she pouts and looks up at my through my legs. “f-fuck please stop teasing me” with that she latched her lips on my clit, twirling her tongue around it. “oh my g-god” i tangle my hands in her hair. She teased my entrance which two of her fingers, she pounded her fingers into me roughly keeping her tongue flat on my clit. I grip her hair tighter squeezing her head with my things, arching my back off the bed. She groans, vibrating my clit, i feel the pit in my stomach grow clenching around her fingers. She curls he fingers inside of me, causing me to fall over the edge, squirting up her arm and dripping from her chin.

“Oh fuck baby” i say with a shaky smile. “God you taste so good” she crawls back onto me, giving me a quick kiss and laying under the blankets with me drifting away to sleep…

[kisses4tom]

ᡣ𐭩 UNCLE TOMMY

───────────────

okay so basically Bill had a child with either you or another girl, (we're going to pretend the baby is a girl named Kimberly 😉), but nevertheless Tom is an uncle and uhm yeah i think it's adorable

───────────────

He would be the cool uncle that teaches fun things

He would get her anything she wants from the toy store

Always holding her

Playing with her a lot

He would teach her bad words to piss off Bill 😭

Since him and Bill are very close, he would always be at Bill's house to help him

Would let her eat loads of candy

When Bill told him he was going to be an uncle he couldn't believe it and even if he tried to keep his cool as much as possible, it was impossible for him to hold back tears of joy for his brother

He's very careful and gentle with her

He would pick her up in weird ways and make her laugh (like upside down etc lmfao 💀)

He would tickle her a lot to hear her little laugh

His heart is always full whenever she's around

Personal babysitter

"Come to uncle Tommy, come!"

He would genuinely treat her as his own baby (kind of yk)

Role-playing all the time because she makes him 😭 (lmfao imagine him in a fairy costume that's waaay too small for him 😭 GIRL BYE I WOULD MARRY HIM)

I feel like he would call her "bro" or "dude" at times whenever she does something unexpected or unhinged 😭 (lmfao she's a babyyy)

Always pushing her stroller or carrying her on his shoulders

He would organize Carnival nights with the whole family and take her to as many rides as she wants

He would win prizes to give her

if you're dating Tom, he would ask her if she wants you as her auntie and if she accepts you as his wife 🥹

He would kneel down to talk to her (😩 have my babies)

He would get into play fights with her at the dinner table 😭

Whenever Bill is dropping her off at his house, he would run to the car and get her out of the car seat himself. "come here! uncle Tommy missed youuu!"

He would play guitar for her and when she was younger he would play little lullabies

He could go crazy over that baby's cuteness

He would take her baths every once in a while and put fun toys in the tub

He would take her to the park a lot to get her tired for nap time

The first time he met her it was like love at first sight for him even if he didn't quite know how to act out of shock and confusion (his mind was like foggy idrk how to explain it)

When she's older he would start being more himself (so talk about things freely and make dirty jokes all the time)

I feel like he would try his best to let the baby's first word be "uncle Tom" 😭

He's the overprotective uncle

He loves having her around

Having her around makes him wish he had a child (NO WORRIES BABE COME HERE)

He would be so sweet and cuteeee 😭 I can't guys I'm ovulating sorry 😭

I feel like he would love to play with the toy kitchen for some reason 💀

He would let her do his hair but not his make-up

Kiss attacks when he gets the chance

He's always at Bill's house just to hang with her

"Bill I swear she looks more like me than you"

They have a great bond

When she's older it won't stop him from taking her to places or spoil her

He loves when she's at their concerts

He claims to be the best uncle in the world, and that she's lucky to have him as one

At lunch/dinner he would always sit next to her

At the table he would teach her funny slangs or words

He would make her try to eat a lemon

He'd go down the slide with her 😭

You get the vision right? 🥹🫶🏻

[maochira]

I know you won't do Snuffy as a father figure yet, so can you do the father trio reacting their child being a mukbang star when they're not playing soccer? Like their child is wearing a disguise so they won't find out. I can imagine their child being put into some kind of boot camp after the father trio found out because they need to stay fit when they are playing soccer. I asked this because I am currently obvious with watching mukbang because of the yummy foods.

Sorry if you expected something serious, but I had no ideas what to write for this. So I let my friend @deerangle3 write this and the way I know them, it's gonna turn into a crackfic. I hope it at least makes you laugh LMAO (Edit after Claire wrote this: we made @wasfuerpainman read this out loud it was the funniest shit ever)

A/N: I FUCKING LOVE SNUFFY!!!!! I WILL ABSOLUTELY INCLUDE HIM!!!! *kisses snuffy passionately on the cheek in a platonic way* ALSO!! "Y/Nzilla" is the username, yk like godzilla but with your name (because youre a god😉😉)

"MHhhhhh~ whis food is so goowd!" Y/N stuffed their mouth with fresh deep-fried shrimps, breaded generously with crunchy panko. The camera was focused on their visage. The live-chat was speeding by at insane speeds.

Footsuckurerer:'Y/Nzilla! I love your content! Eat my flesh please Y/N-Sama!'

Germs985:'HIHIAHIHUGIUAHDASKJ YNNYNYNNYNYNNN!!/"(!")( I LOE YOU PLEASE GIBE ME OYuR ATTENSHPM!!!😍😍🌹❤️❤️🥰🥰🫶'

Such were some of the silly comments Y/N would see every day in the Live Chat.

"Pahahah, they don't know..." Y/N thought to themself, almost snickering. The 'Y/Nsters' as they liked to call themselves, were so obsessed yet they weren't even aware of Y/Ns true appearance.

Yes! A disguise! Y/N wore an obnoxious green wig, though it was worn perfectly, in a way that it looked completely natural (well, dyed, but attached to the head). On top of that, some nicely bedazzled Sunglasses, completely hiding the eyes.

Y/N's Parents were completely unaware of Y/N doing Mukbang. They made good money as well, but knew that their parents probably wouldn't fully approve of Mukbang, because they would rather have their child play soccer. This was also the majority of the reason for the disguise. Another reason was just not wanting to be recognized, or not wanting to show their face to the entire internet.

Y/N lived in a large house with their 4 dads, Noel Noa, Marc Snuffy, Chris Prince and Lavinho. Who knew if they were dating or just friends raising a kid together. From a young age, Y/N was playing soccer. As soon as they learned to walk, there was always a ball o kick. They were never super insistent, never forced soccer on Y/N but it was still a relevant part. In school, Y/N was known for their great soccer skills, as well as captain of the soccer club!

Y/N takes another passionate, big bite of the shrimpilicious sustenance. "mmh mmh mMMMMHH!!! whe fwawors awe mewting on my tONGUE!" Y/N mumbled, the food making their words hardly coherent.

timeskip

"HEYY Y/NNNNNNN MY LitTLE MOUSE!!!" Lavinho jumped at Y/N, hugging them. "WAnna play some FOOTBALL!!""!"!"§"§"!?"??"§???"

Y/N nodded, they assumed their other dads would also be there, and they were right! They kicked the ball back and forth until Chris mentioned something. "Guys, have you seen this new Mukbanger? They're like, totally silly." Chris chuckled. Noa looked at Chris with a "HM?!??!"-ish look. "Since when are you in the Mukbang-Community?" "I'm in it for the nutritional knowledge! Y'know, like, whats good for my muscles." He proudly closed his eyes with a confident expression and flexed his biceps. "I do that too sometimes." Snuffy said.

"Who do you mean?" Y/N asked, slightly afraid of if Chris meant them. "Uhhh they wear a green wig I think!" He raised his finger in an intelligent manner. "Oh, I don't think I've heard of them..." Y/N pretended.

"I think I have"

The conversation went back and forth about this mukbanger. Eventually, Chris pulled up a picture of you in your disguise. "They seem kinda familiar don't they?" Snuffy asked, scratching his chin in thought. "Ya think so?" Lavinho asked, looking a little more closely. "HmMMmmMmmmmmm.... let's just eat dinner." Noa said, walking back toward the house.

The five of them enjoyed a yummy yummy dinner. "I could use these leftovers for my stream tomorrow..." Y/N thought to themself.

timeskip

"Y/N!?!?!?? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A GREEN WIG??? AND EATING???? aRE YOU ajsdk---.ajniu THAT MUKBANGER!??!?!?!??" Chris was in utter shock. He caught them red-handed. Y/N immediately shut down the stream. Chris wasn't supposed to be home! "DAD THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!" but Chris had already run out of the room and called your other dads. Oh No!!!

"Mukbang? You??" Snuffy looked at them, a little shocked, or was it amazement? "Do you at least make money?" Lavi asked. "Yea..." Y/N looked down at the ground, perhaps slightly embarrassed. "How much?" Noa wanted to know.

"Uhm,,, like around 3000 on average, but it all depends on how many donations I get..." They mumbled quietly. They all looked a little shocked. Good shocked. "That's pretty... pretty good." Snuffy nodded approvingly.

"Please don't be mad at me..." Tears started welling up in Y/Ns eyes.

"Oh Y/N, Why would we be mad about such a thing?" Noa went in to hug Y/N and the others soon followed, leading to a comforting group hug. "As long as you're safe, happy and healthy, we don't have an issue with it." Snuffy gave them a gentle smile. Chris agreed "As long as your grades don't slip, or you reach an unhealthy weight or something, were totally fine with you doing this as a... side job?"

"Yeah, and you're using a disguise right? So it'll be harder for strangers to find you." Lavi added.

They weren't mad in the slightest, just a little confused maybe, but proud for sure, because they had gotten quite successful! Y/N promised them they would play more soccer, or at least do more physical exercise with them, so that Y/N would stay healthy and not become the next Nicocado Avocado. Surprisingly, Snuffy even suggested that they could join Y/N on a stream sometime. It would surely bump their viewers if a world-class soccer player ate Mukbang with Y/Nzilla! Yet alone four!

timeskip

Sockersucker: "WHAT !?!?!? NOEL NoA STUFFING HIS FACE WITH HOT DOGS?!??!?!"

KeineHoelle: "THIS is the most epic colllabb ever! How did you get into contact with the pro soccer players?"

SalesBadman: "CHRIS PRINC?!?? LAVINSNO!?!?????ßßß?? SNUAFY!? NAO NOEL!??? WHAAAATT IS GOING ON!?!?? I better call my wife."

SnuffyLover69: "OMGOMGOMG SNUFFY AND Y/NZILLA THIS IS INSANE I AM GOING INSANE I WILL SELL MY ORGANS FOR YOU Y/NAND SNUFFY I AM IN ABSOLUTE FISBELIEF HOLY MOLY MACKARONY WHAT INT EH FUCKING BANANAASS!!!!!"

Chat was going absolutely insane, seeing these world-class players eating yummy hotdogs with this odd-looking Mukbanger. The viewer count spiked up to 20k, from the usual 3-5k. More and more people joined the stream, the viewer count kept rising and the donations went insane as well. This was the best day yet, career-wise.

It was a very wholesome eating session with Y/N and their dads.

YUM!

[imraespace]

HELP hi guys😆😊 I have a funny story to share(it has a serious topic(?) just anemia so don't worry too much abt that) it will probably be long idk and also it's the reason I didn't updated the megumi smau yesterday so I say blame the discordians!

ALSO why did I blink and saw that I have 441 followers it probably went up but I'm too lazy to check.

okay anyways so my friend and I have this small server on discord it was originally my kpop server I made back in 2022 bc I wanted txt friends but then we kinda shut it down last year AND NOW ITS BACK UP! so we talk a lot in that server and SHE ASKED ME to pretend to be boys on the Greg bot yk the phone bot thing! so I was like oh okay! BC PPL ALREADY THINK IM A BOY ON MY REGULAR ACC so I used my second acc and created a whole other person(his name is ezra and he's a bleach fan.) right and it was harmless when we went on the Greg bot right made some mini bro friends right! I think someone actually wanted us bc they asked for our ig but um anyways.

EVERYTHING WENT GOOD UNTIL these two girls.

to understand my story better I have to over share on some stuff. my race is black and I'm anemic so since yk that my story will make some sense.

firstly when we said hi I said "yo" bc idk boys say that and my friend she had gave up on being a boy I just continued bc being a boy is fun.. AND WHEN MY FRIEND SAID HI she was like "HELLO" and boom drama started BC APPARENTLY THEY WERE LIKE "ik this call abt to be ass" and started talking abt how she said hello in all caps and my username (it was fw.ez HELPME) and I didn't notice them talking abt my friend first and only saw when they talked abt my username so I was like "dang dawg I'm.not even a boy" bc i thought yk harmless prank! but apparently I was using the word "dawg" wrong? WHAT😱 AND THEN PROCEEDED TO CALL ME WHITE. WHITE PPL CANT USE THE WORD DAWG? AND THERES A RIGHT WAY? so I was confused at first then I understood what they meant and told them im black I think they short circuit but still carried on with their arguments so I got mad and my chest began to race bc my anemia sometimes affects my emotions and I will get a tad bit emotional! so um I couldn't think straight I wanted to tell them some very bad words in dialect but they wouldn't even understand me so I was like I bet yall annoying as hell and it shut them up apparently AND YK MY FRIRND WASNT EVEN ON DISCORD I HAD TO DEFEND FOR MYSELF AND HER AND SHE CAME BACK AND WAS LIKE what's happening. GIRL. I told her what was happening and she called them dumb HAHAHA anyways then we came off the phone but THANKS TO THEM I HAD A RACING HEART AND A SEMI WEAK BODY with cold fingers and toes so I couldn't do anything I was going to write a new chapter for the megs smau bc I forgot to do it eariler in the day but I couldn't even think straight so I was up until 4am😒 with a racin heart and random emotional changes with my mommy gossiping abt some game we play(romance club it's like episode but better i recommend that you play the story called song of the crimson nile hehehheheja) and now IM HOME FROM SCHOOL BC OF THEM🤨😒😒

lesson of the day- ignore THOSE discordians!😉

oh and um a megumi update later when I'm feeling better🤫😉😉

[neostarreset]

I dont understand something 😭did shuichi do the yk to those poor girls and kokichi or not, my reading comprehension is really bad, or will it be answered next chap

No worries! 😉 It hasn’t been explicitly said yet, so there’s reason to still have that as question in mind. I’m saving the details for that so they can have a discussion post-trial but before the execution!

That way, everyone gets a chance at the “punch Shuichi in the face first, ask questions later” dogpile! 😁

[utterlyinevitable]

↪ series masterlist  

29. Birthday Babes

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington   Format: textfic   Chapter Rating: T+

Summary: Colin's been weird since V-Day, but then he takes Pen to a romantic cabin for her birthday

Penelope: Happy birthday, superstar 🌟♥️ any big plans?

Hungry One🦛: Thanks, P. Nothing too exciting. Having dinner with a few travelers I met up with

Penelope: What's on the menu?

Hungry One🦛: Cajun I think

Penelope: Hey, you ok?

Hungry One🦛: Yea

Penelope: You can talk to me you know. You've been weird since you left.

Birthday blues?

Hungry One🦛: Just unplugging for a bit. Don't worry. I'll see you 3rd April, yeah?

Penelope: Yeah if that works for you. Don't go rearranging on my account.

Hungry One🦛: My tour will be done by then. There won't be a sleeper train in the US I haven't tried when I'm through

Penelope: Can’t wait to read your review. I'll see you then.

Promise me one thing?

Hungry One🦛: I WILL be taking you for a birthday meal. Allow a man his small pleasures.

Penelope: No not that but thank you.

Be kind to yourself. Whatever this is that's got you in a funk will sort itself out. You're very funny and wonderful and charming and so bloody brilliant it's unreal. No matter what grief they give you, your family loves you dearly and just want to help.

You're also much too good looking to be sad 😉

Hungry One🦛: Thanks pen

Penelope: I hope you know you're my best friend. I care about you so so much, Colin.

Hungry One🦛: You're my best friend too <3

Penelope: If you're taking me out for my birthday, let me take you out for yours. Lets have a big bash (theoretically speaking, i'm poor yk)

Hungry One🦛: Deal

-

She’s mucked things up.

Penelope doesn’t know how but she knows something has undoubtedly changed between them. They've barely talked since he left whilst she was still asleep some three-odd weeks ago.

It can’t be the fact she’s sharing her place with him when he needs -- he's stayed around hers a countless amount of times these last two years and there has never ever been weirdness.

And it’s not that they share a bed -- they’ve never not shared a bed since they reconnected. She has some of her best sleep with him wrapped around her, legs intertwined and his heartbeat her lullaby.

Maybe it’s…

She does the quick math: they haven’t fucked in months. Since she moved in and christened nearly every room of her flat to be exact.

That can’t be it, could it?

Colin could just as well initiate; he’s certainly woken up with enough hard ons to get her hot and bothered. God, are they too comfortable with each other? Has the spark dimmed on their sex friendship? Are they well and truly only flatmates at this point? Or worse…

Has he met someone else?

Colin wouldn’t be cagey for no reason. He’s been backpacking across North America and bound to make a connection with some beautiful worldly woman with long legs and blemish-free tanned skin. A model, probably. Penelope always figured he'd fall in love with a model. One that will always feature perfectly in his posts; a muse for his media. Is Colin worried about pieing her off? Is that why he's been so odd?

It doesn’t matter. None of this matters. All that matters is that they stay friends.

Nearly a decade later and Penelope Featherington is still content savoring whatever scraps Colin Bridgerton deems to give her.

***

Colin: Pack a bag.

Pen: Why

Colin: Birthday surprise!

Pen: Colin...

Colin: And maybe an assignment I need to do in Wales and could not rearrange for next week....

Pen: How long we staying?

Colin: 2 nights.

Pack for hiking and swimming! 😊

-

They’re in for a ride. A 3-hour drive over to a private nature reserve in Wales known for beautiful scenery and six luxury cottages scattered across a few hundred acres of woodland. It's just an ordinary early-spring day - there is a chill in the air but the sun is still shining in strong warm hues. 

One hour in and the conversation has lulled comfortably. The Birmingham cityscape has turned to rolling hills along the motorway as they looped on Radio 4. Colin's lost a bet - or so he laments. Makes a grumble and a show of Pen changing the playlist he had programmed in when he picked up the rental car.  

Not even two seconds into her choice of tunes and Colin’s groaning. His distaste (more so at losing than the songs playing) reverberates the same second Pen’s mouth drops open to sing along. Her fingers turning the volume dial up and rolling down the window to scream-sing even louder. 

He watches her out the corner of his eye; one trained on the empty road ahead, the other gazing at Penelope. Her face fresh and glowing from a goodnights sleep, cheeks rosy with daylight highlighting her freckles since she foregone makeup (come to think of it she hasn't worn a full face around him in ages...? not that Colin is complaining. he prefers her natural beauty, much like he still prefers her with unruly red hair). Her fingers tapping on the windowsill. Happiness radiates from her half as intense as the waning sun over the horizon. 

Colin silently wishes he could watch her for hours, just existing in this space together like two normal people.

Another hour or two or twenty minutes ticks down and then…   

Colin’s eyes light up with the first chord. He hasn't heard this song since they were rowdy teenagers causing havoc all those summers at Aubrey Hall. God he's thrown back in time.

Pen feels it too; all the flashes and memories taking up space in the small sedan.

She doesn’t dare break the moment. Her gaze trained on the outside world passing by. Her fingers tap along as she mouths her favorite lines. 

He breaks the silence just after the second verse, voice low and reverent; "I haven't heard this in ages."

"Me either."

"Do you remember when...?"

"Yeah," she sighs fondly. "Yeah, I do."

Both Colin and Penelope relish the companionable silence surrounding them as the song plays through and into a '00s pop piece neither pay much attention to. 

-

“We made it,” she breathes as she fiddles to find the right key to the cabin that's been left in the lockbox for them. Colin holding his denim jack over the two of them as huddle under the awning in the freak hailstorm. 

He grumbles an agreement, still angered that the weather app could not predict this turn of events - so much for modern technology. It's Wales; he should be used to the unpredictable UK weather by now but the shift from a cloudless spring day to this and a drastic drop in temperature was so not on his bingo card today. Guess the hike's out of the question...

They enter the dark cabin, testing the switches, the lamps and even the fridge light as one last hopeful saving grace. Nothing’s working. With twin groans from opposite sides of the one bedroom cabin, they realize there’s no electricity. Stuck in the middle of some foresty hill estate in a storm with no electricity and no neighbors for miles, fucking perfect.

Colin paces around the living room as he calls his useless contact, then the inept property manager. He uses an authoritative voice that rivals Anthony's to borderline berate the person on the other end into fixing this nightmare of a compt'd stay before he has no choice but to publicise the poor facilities. Penelope hears his exasperation, his agitation radiating off the wooden pillars as she stokes the fire to life. Busies herself through the awkwardness by moving about grabbing blankets and pillows from various closets on fuzzy sock-clad tiptoes as he continues his bellows.

So many minutes pass for Colin in frustration. Enough that once he's hung up the phone after the fourth call out, he flops on the couch, hunched with his head in his hands. He barely hears when Penelope returns from the kitchen but he feels the old paisley-patterned couch dip as she curls up beside him. 

“The earliest they will send someone is 5AM," he groans through gritted teeth. "And the imbecile couldn’t even tell me where the breakers are. So much for a relaxing weekend.” 

“Glass half full,” she says as she offers him a mug. 

“What’s this?” He takes the ceramic in one large hand, pads of his fingers tingling with heat. 

“We have warm water, that’s something.” 

He grumbles once more. 

“It’s enough,” she justifies. 

Penelope looks at her watch. Then to where the couch is positioned too many feet from the fireplace. She unzips her bulky winter coat, discarding it on the armchair before effortlessly turning her attention to her pile of mismatched bedding. With a delighted sense of determination she wraps two thick throws around herself, cuddling all bundled up on the floor in front of the fireplace. 

Colin watches her every graceful movement shadowed in an amber glow. Intrigue setting in and eclipsing the distain souring their sacred time together, quickly morphing into admiration for the little pile of green and red tartan before him. 

In no time he’s grabbing his own blanket and settles next to her - around her. Penelope’s back leaning against his warm chest, Colin’s hands cradling her blue-tinted fingertips. His palms curling around her cold acrylic nails positioned in her lap.

“You’re freezing. Let’s go to a hotel.” 

“I’ll be fine,” she assures him, relishing in his embrace as she snuggles in closer. “I’ve got snacks, the fire and you.” 

He doesn’t need to see her face to know she’s donning a small simper. The way her head nuzzles against him and her hands tugging him tighter around her tells him all he needs to know.

Minutes upon minutes pass with them staring into the flames and Colin's hands mindfully mapping the edges of her body (and if he leans in and buries his nose in her hair, taking in the comforting scent, so be it).

An idea pops into his head - a silly little idea that makes him feel childish.

Colin extracts himself, much to Penelope's displeasure. He wanders in the ever-darkening space of the cabin to the sole bedroom. He finds the bed stripped of the duvet and pillows from Pen's nesting and grabs the rest of all he can find - pillows and throw pillows and a spare set of thermal sheets.   

Penelope watches him keenly when he returns, a raised brow as he chucks the couch cushions onto the floor. Stares intently as he pushes the coffee table far from the sitting area leaving a space for his grand plan - a plan that gets better the moment Pen rises and surmises - 

“The mattress would fit.” 

Colin's grin could light up the whole cabin.

Penelope helps him move the furniture and carry the double mattress in. They strip off the rest of their day-soaked clothes leaving them in their underwear and cuddle in the bed they make, talking and enjoying one another’s company like planned.

"So.." she begins "What's on the plan for the rest of the day?"

"We were supposed to go on a hike and have dinner at the pub in the woods."

"Is that the only way to get there?"

"There should be ATV's for us to use in the shed."

She looks at him incredulously.

"Or not," he chuckles. He can't blame her for not wanting to go out in this weather.

"Think they deliver?"

"Doubt it."

She hmph's. And a beat later asks the most important question:

"Can you survive on our rations or will you waste away?"

"I'll be fine for one night," he gallantly, confidently reassures. Colin isn't so melodramatic that the mere idea of skipping a meal or two would throw him and his endless stomach into a fit of despair. However... "What did we pack again?"

"Crisps, biscuits, sweets and cheese. A balanced diet if ever there was one."

"What kind of biscuits?"

"Does it really matter? You'll eat them regardless."

He makes a little noise somewhere between a huff and an agreement. His mind wandering to the food in their possession, how much there is and if it will be able to sustain them until morning when they can wander back to the welcome centre.

"Stop thinking about food."

"You put it in my head!"

"I can show you where to put your head."

He blanches. He didn't - This isn't what - my god woman. Pen is on her knees facing him, he feels hot and undressed by her heady gaze. She licks her bottom lip, fingers coyly tracing patterns across her bare stomach.

Colin's mouth is on hers before she can even implore further methods of seduction.