#yikes i answered this at 2am

[botanikos]

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you’d like to get to know a little bit better.

Roleplayer name: Jude

Roleplayer pronouns: They/Them

Muse name(s): Stolas

Preferred communication: Discord doesn't gobble up messages, so that's truly the best place! However, I still try to answer tumblr IM's as well. I also have telegram if anyone wants it. . . . it's collecting dust!

Experience: Yikes, this dates back to when I was much younger, and before I even used the internet for roleplaying. I started off writing on pen and paper with my cousin and a bunch of friends. We would pass paper or journals back and forth, taking turns writing out scenes or responses from a variety of characters. Mostly, at those times, it was for Teen Titans, Naruto, Bleach, and a few others. I'm going to safely say that early high school was when I took it online, starting off on a couple of forums and chat rooms [ namely, Chatango ]. I frequently roleplayed via text message, email, and instant messengers. I still do this with like, one person via FB Messenger, lol. I occasionally roleplay on Discord, too.

Preferred roleplay type: I gravitate towards whatever my mood and energy seeks out. Unfortunately, I used to do things in a very organized manner, but that time has long since passed me. I am easily exhausted, distracted, and just. . . can't keep up! I prefer things with some substance, but I'm not strict on moving larger plots unless we've communicated it or have a larger goal in mind for our writing. I love just having fun and going with the flow! I'm open to most types, too, though I don't typically do single-liners unless it's like. . . me being goofy on the dash.

Pet peeves & dealbreakers: Automatic assumption of our characters knowing each other! Unless we have talked it over, or your muse is a canon character within the universe that he's interacted with, please don't do this! It makes me [ and Stolas ] uncomfortable!

Absolute dealbreaker - If you think Stolas is an abuser / disregard his being in an abusive relationship, my blog is NOT for you. I've made this clear a few times and wrote up a whole PSA for my portrayal!

Shipping - I've said it a few times, and I'm always willing to go over it for anyone curious, but my Stolas WILL NOT have any sexual or romantic interest in women. At most, if talked through with the other mun's, you'll get a little drunken flirtation. But there will be NO follow up. That being said, I can be a shipping whore [ affectionate ]. I love shipping! And if Stolas finds you attractive, then damn, he WILL flirt! However. . . . I will never just auto-ship with anyone, and I will be taking into consideration how Stolas would / wouldn't feel with your character. There needs to be some sort of interactions to base these things off of before we get into the big stuff. Again, though, if you see something that makes you tilt your head, it's probably because the mun and I have talked privately and are in cahoots with the idea!

Drama - Please don't pull me into it if it can be avoided. I am 30 years old, I did my time of tumblr dramas back in like, 2010. I am here for a good time, not a long time! If I gotta just up and leave, I will. Unless there is some serious shit I need to know, I will NOT be getting involved.

And one last dealbreaker. . . If you're treating this and your partners like there's a time limit, you definitely don't want to write with me! This is what I do for fun, to relax, to explore my writing abilities, sharpen them, and interact with people that don't exhaust me! So if you're going to put a time limit or anything of the sort on our interactions, I'm gonna' lose interest sooooo fast. Absolutely NOTHING I ever send or offer expires. You're also free to just delete it if you lost interest. That wonky ass 2am ask I sent you? Delete it if you don't wanna answer it!

Best time to write: The weekends, since I don't work. And, honestly, night time! It's when things are the calmest for me.

Are you like your muse? Do I gotta' answer this question? Yes, yes, I am like my muse. Stolas and I share quite a few similar qualities, both in terms of hobbies and interests, and emotional states. I have an excessive amount of plants, I love watching the stars, I have an unholy amount of books and love reading, I enjoy tea and intimate conversations. I've been in abusive living situations, I suffer from anxiety & depression, and while some people think highly of me, I think rather low of myself.

Tagged by; @strikers-saloon

Tagging; @flamesignite ; @witchysang ; @distortiism ; @lapetitemxrt ; @siriuslord ; & anyone else! Feel free to say I tagged you if you want.

[lauvra]

I shot guns in a videogame. I abstained from sex and masturbation. I quit caffeine. I wrote your last words, painted over them then turned them into an acrostic poem. I smoked one cigarette every ten minutes to fill a rental apartment with smoke and my lungs with tar. I sugar-soaped the walls and moved into the crawlspace of a place by the beach. I ushered the wrong people into forgiveness and said far too much to curious folks who didn't care. I wouldn't watch romance in movies or hug men. I danced in gay clubs and bought drugs. I walked on the opposite side of the street from the bar. I screamed while my friends apologised to strangers, laughed and corrected chairs in my path of destruction. You messaged a day later, asked how I was doing, "fine," I said. I drank coffee 'til 2am and sold my car. I leaned over the rooftop facing Luna Park, looking for you in happy strangers on the street below. I put the link in bio. I took on debt to move farther from you but ended up in a studio beside a skate park. Yikes. With each move I refused to let others carry your painting, fearing they'd damage it. I tanned, stretched, lifted iron and listened to subliminal sleep tapes for self esteem. I quit smoking and stopped answering calls. I caught planes not caring whether they'd land. I underlined text in A Lover's Discourse in Prahran square. I bought a piano and passed you in the rain. I convinced myself I caused the earthquake. I had a second ocean baptism and got a new job. When I panicked in the second week, my boss said I had stuff to resolve. I watched milestone fireworks and felt nothing at all. I grew sharp claws, painted them cherry red. You walked past me standing with a friend, caught the wrong end of context. Karma, I guess. I lived by your perception and treated everybody with suspicion. I got a gym membership and therapist. He dropped me, said "maybe you aren't ready to change yet". I touched a petal on every roadside flower and thought about something you said. Mouthed thank-you in silence at pedestrian crossings remembering, "they can't hear you!" I got a new job and two cherubs tattooed on my forearm. They did not bring love. Cops checked my welfare again. I went on a date to a jazz bar, then an open mic poetry night and fled before the end. I wrote you bad, I wrote you fair, I wrote you real. I had sex with a divorcee. I sang sad things and sought religious experiences at gigs. I met with a deployed American soldier thinking maybe he'd kill me, a mercy, then didn't give him an opportunity. I searched up, beneath and inside. I bought a gold ring to feel a little like you at the end of each day. I wished the non-follower view was you, knowing it wasn't. I got a new job, moved to the other side of the city and said I was free. Two weeks later you tagged down my street. My bad, another Goliath mishap. I brushed my hands against the paint, drank four bottles of wine in a week and wrote in recollection. I moved once more. Quit the workforce. I had Penny's teeth cleaned, mine pulled and stumbled through the city in a borrowed jacket. I wondered what exactly you were afraid to say under general anaesthetic. I forgot I, then remembered again. I put a painting in an exhibit, got a new therapist and joined a support group. I've walked you off, taken over a thousand showers, laughed, cried, scowled, searched obituaries and whispered sorry too quietly for the wind to carry. I've read, turned you into art, prayed for and ignored you, envied people you moved onto, forgiven but still can't walk past the stranger I loved on Rose Street without my knees weakening. But really, when I write to you it's another brick wall spoken to. It's as Steinbeck once said: money removes the charge of insanity. At least I gained one penny for my grief. It was real for me but you were right, we have nothing to say to one another. I've felt, thought and written it all. You were more precise: "All good, I'm out."

[ieatsurveys]

100

What’s the most worthwhile thing you’ve done in the last year?I quit working and healed.

What foods make you want to gag?Peas.

Do you consider yourself to be organized?Not at all.

Have you ever made out with someone?Plenty of times.

What time do you get sleepy?Depends. Like, last night, not until 2am.

What music do you listen to?Worship music, heavy metal, R&B, lofi.

How old were you when you started to walk?I have no idea.

Which member of your family do you get along with the best?Plenty.

What cheers you up when you’re sad?Being with friends.

What do you sleep in?Sweatpants and t-shirt, or an oversized t-shirt, or naked. Haha. There’s really no predicitng what I’m feeling that day.

Have you ever tanned topless?Nope.

Wear jewelry?I do not.

What’s something you’ve been told you’re good at?Writing.

How much can you eat?A lot, haha.

What’s the furthest away you’ve ever traveled?Xi’an, China.

Are you a cat or dog person?I love cats <3 

Have you ever done drugs?Just weed.

What does your room look like?A little bit disheveled. Not too bad, though.

Recommend a really amazing book.I’m reading “The Teacher” by Freida McFadden and I’m obsessed.

Recommend a really amazing song.Litost by X Ambassadors. 

Recommend a really amazing movie.The first one that popped in my head was The Sound of Music, heh.

Who’s your favorite actor/actress?Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts, Will Smith.

Have you ever run away from home?Yes.

Do you exercise ever? Not anymore.

Do you like your hair, the way it is and the color?Not anymore.

Do you have any friends named Baloo? Or is he just in the Junglebook?I do not.

Are you a Disney movie fan?I have Disney+, but if I’m not feeling nostalgic, I won’t watch it.

Do you eat seafood?I love seafood.

When was the last time you cried?Two days ago.

Do you have good working habits?I used to :( 

So where the hell do you want to go in life?Work with Deaf children.

What are your boundaries?I have a lot. 

What are some of the funniest things you can think of?Hm.

What are two quirky little things about you?

I hate the word quirky. Save that for the millennials. That said, if I'm alone eating potato chips, I first lick the spices off the chips and then eat them. Also, I talk a lot in my sleep. → Yikes. I am a millenial, so I’ll answer ;) My whole personality is dork, so who knows.

Are you claustrophobic?Yes.

Do you like getting wasted?

I like the social-tipsy phase the most, but not wasted.--> Yep.

List three things that you look for in a friend.Loyalty, authenticity, kind.

Do you prefer Angels and Airwaves or Rihanna?Angels and Airwaves.

What religion are you, if any?I’m a Christian.

If your house was on fire (and your family escaped), what would you save?I live by myself in an apartment, so….me. I have no pets or roommates.

Do you have any sash belts?I do not.

What do you have on right now? Include everything, nail polish, makeup, etc. An oversized t-shirt and underwear. I don’t have anything else. Does caffeine make you hyper? It does not.

[moreracquetball]

What happens to Marvin after the musical??? This question has plaques my mind for ages and I was wondering your take on it

Okay, well, here’s my personal interpretation. Obviously, since Marvin’s future is not explicitly disclosed in the musical, it all depends on you personally and what you choose to believe. But for me:

I believe Marvin contracted AIDS from Whizzer and died soon after the events portrayed in the musical.

And here’s why I think this: 

1. Charlotte sings “Something Bad is Happening (Reprise)” directly to Marvin (as we see in the proshot, she does this off to the side, in private -  as if what she is telling him is a private matter concerning only him), and it is pointed in the fact that the only real lyrical addition to the reprise is how the disease “spreads from one man to another.“ This is clearly heavily hinting at the fact that, at the very least, she is warning Marvin that he is at high-risk of already being (again, at the very least) HIV positive.

Bonus: In “Unlikely Lovers,” Cordelia says that “We don’t know what time will bring,” to which Whizzer replies “I’ve a clue” and Marvin reaffirms, “I have too/two.” Though the official lyrics state that it is “too” (meaning that Marvin is agreeing that Whizzer’s death is in near future), William Finn also does a lot of double-meanings in his text, so depending on what you interpret, it can also be “two” (as in, Marvin has two clues for the future: Whizzer will die, and Marvin himself will die). It really depends on how you want to interpret that part, so it’s not official “proof” or anything but the first time I heard it, I thought it was “two” and my heart broke. Obviously this is mere speculation on my part and isn’t “proof” and actually contradicts the real lyrics so that’s why I’m crossing it out, but I still feel this information is important to at least be aware of because it had helped form my early opinion of what happened to Marvin post-musical.

2. In “What Would I Do?” Marvin says, "Once i was told that good men get better with age. WE’RE just gonna skip that stage.” This, again, is heavily implying that Whizzer and Marvin are going to not make it to old age. 

3. This is not really “proof” but i feel like - if Marvin did contract the disease - it would add even more importance and emphasis to the lines “I’d do it again. I’d like to believe that I’d do it again and again” because it demonstrates that Marvin is essentially losing his life for loving and being with Whizzer but he still doesn’t regret it. And it just makes that line so much more profound and heart-breaking??

4. (and this is less proof and more me being all editorial and expressing my own views) But I feel like it just - makes more sense, story-wise?? Given that William Finn was emphasizing how the AIDS crisis didn’t “pick and choose” its victims and how utterly unfair and devastating it was to loved ones (it left many friends jaded and many families torn apart). Idk,,, it just makes more sense to me because of the themes established in Falsettos.

So like,,, as you can see, there’s not a lot of “proof” but this is why I believe that Marvin contracted AIDS and subsequently lost his life. It’s very tragic and devastating, and I should emphasize that this isn’t a “proven,” 100% factual account of Marvin’s future because we honestly have no idea since the musical ended right after Whizzer’s death. It’s really all up to your personal interpretation and what you believe better fits the story in your mind. If you believe that he lived a long, happy life, then your interpretation is no less “right” than mine.

[bringthepop]

Do braxton hicks hurt?

They don’t necessarily hurt, they’re just making me very uncomfortable. Like I know I won’t be able to fall asleep eventhough I have to get up at 6am in the morning

[transhitman]

It's 2AM but Mon Fucking Dieu. Ok. I think how bad Harry was before the game is sort of up to interpretation but for me sooo much points to him being truly miserable and toxic like. Jean's opinion of him is so low, and even Judit who is sympathetic was willing to leave him when he told them to fuck off despite how obviously unstable he was. Like there's an Esprit De Corps passive where it's implied that Jean legit thought Harry would just give up and go home after they left. As if Harry has had episodes like that and threatened suicide before to the point that his friends don't take it seriously anymore. He's worn them down. That's just how he is. All the angry outbursts he had during his bender. The fact that he had Dora's NEW number committed to muscle memory, implying he has called her a lot, which is fucking yikes. Even if he's not working for la Puta Madre the fact that people think he is says a lot about how ruthless/corrupt he might have been. The case where it says he beat the shit out of a guy for a minor infraction while drunk/high. And like. Obviously he's extremely depressed but there's also this spiteful overtone of "it would hurt the people who love me if I killed myself," implied if he threatens suicide in front of the Hardie Boys, and stated EXPLICITLY in the Finger on the Eject Button thought. ("Think how much they'll *miss* you.") Even after his memory loss there's nothing inherently good about him. Like he can hit Cuno, he can KILL Cunoesse, he can be a fucking asshole, he has the capacity to be a straight up fascist and say racist/sexist shit. Most of this descent into fascism seems to be a result of bitterness towards Dora -- how alone he feels and how he wants someone else to blame for his misery -- and if barely-remembered heartbreak can make him do that, what else has that bitterness driven him to do? And then you get to the contrast of how Jean sees him vs how Kim sees him, both extremely biased. Jean doesn't realize how fundamentally he's changed because of how consistently awful he used to be. Kim jumps to his defense and doesn't realize how toxic he was because all he knows is the version of Harry who wants to be a better person -- at least in the ending I think most people consider canon. They're both entirely justified in their perception but there's no correct answer. Idk it just makes me feel deranged to think about. The whole thing with Dora and the line about "Mourning someone who's still alive." The way the game opens up on a death-like void. The way Half Light says "Monday morning. The moment you arrived in this reality," as if Harry didn't exist for the last 44 years. The way loss of self and memory is framed as akin to oblivion. The way you as the player can effectively kill the old Harry and replace him with something new, even down to his name. Raphael Ambrosius Cousteau. Tequila Sunset. "I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore."

[tcookies777]

So I just noticed something after re-reading some TAOL chapters and it’s that Kakashi always (literally always in every chapter) seemed to get turned on by Sakura no matter what she does. At this point, I am convinced that he would probably have a boner just by watching Sakura do nothing but stand and breathe. I am not complaining at all but I thought it was interesting and wonder if that was intentional in terms of having Kakashi just be horny for Sakura 24/7? I know this is a weird ask and I am sorry for asking it. I was also wondering if Kakashi being like this every time Sakura is near will change somehow after they do the “devil’s tango” or ���shaking of the sheets.” I am not a man so I don’t know what it’s like to have a boner but I can’t imagine functioning well when you have a boner and horny for someone every day lmao. I don’t know if what I am saying makes any sense but I do feel insane for bringing this up to you so I am sorry about that.

No need to be sorry for asking an interesting question but thank you for asking politely. And thank you for asking such an interesting question - it's not weird at all, and I don't believe "weird" questions exist when it comes to fannish content. Interesting? Yes. Weird? No.

But to answer your 2 questions:

People can argue that this is canon or not - personally for me, I'm going to treat it as canon - but in the Rock Lee SD series, there was a scene in which Jiraiya categorized the male characters into what type of pervert they were.

This is his chart from that scene:

As you can see, Kakashi was categorized as a Closet Pervert lol.

Kakashi being a closet pervert was a huge inspiration for his horniness in this fic. Because... I mean it's kinda impossible to write a closet pervert character and NOT let him be horny about it. So yeah, you bet your ryo Kakashi's thinking perverted stuff behind that porn book of his. And you can bet I am going to write in explicit detail what those perverted thoughts are about. But that he's specifically horny for Sakura is because I wanted to approach the emotional side of his character as like a teenager. I'm not a man either but, having had some open discussions with male peers in my adult years... well, suffice to say teen boys get easily horny for the girl they like. Kakashi is not a teenager of course, but... he's not as mature as anyone might think just because of his adult age. And this applies to real life too where you'll meet teens who are wiser than their years, and you'll also meet adults who are childish for their age. It really depends on the individual's background, life experience, education, and the way they were raised.

Kakashi is, in many ways, immature- which maybe you noticed in the way he handles his emotions and has trouble with intimate communication. He wasn't raised like a normal child. He grew up without parents to guide him, he flew through his education, and was too busy with war/military to properly woo and date a girl let alone learn how to (not counting the romance books he uses for reference). So it's a complete first for him to develop really intimate feelings for a girl and he doesn't know what to do, especially when it's his underage student (double yikes). Nobody taught him. What he grew up learning instead was to rely on instincts. His biological instincts take over and his dick turns on at the sight of someone his body and heart recognize as his potential mate (even if he may not understand yet). Excuse my blunt language btw it's like 2am for me here lol. I probably shouldnt be answering this when I'm half awake but I hope it makes sense when I say: Closet Pervert Kakashi + emotionally immature Kakashi + biological instincts + experiencing first love + forbidden love = Kakashi horny for his crush like a teen boy.

Ooh wait, also - canonically, Kakashi has a heightened sense of smell, right? There is an actual scientific phenomenon where some people's olfactory senses are attuned to certain kinds of pheromones. So there are some men in real life who get turned on by the smell of certain women - often these are women they are attracted to such as their own wives. Some men claim they are even able to smell when their girl is about to have her period, is ovulating, and/or is pregnant - just by smelling the pheromones the girl exudes. So it's actually not unrealistic for Kakashi to pop a boner when he smells Sakura, especially when he smells her ovulating because her scent is actually triggering a surge of the sex hormone testosterone in him. This is a real biological response in men as part of their primal mating behavior. I briefly mentioned the science of this in the chapter with the naked run where he smells Sakura ovulating (on top of her dripping arousal) and gets turned on by it.

So with all the aforementioned reasons explained, when Kakashi smells Sakura, you can imagine it's easy for a pervert like him to pop a boner.

But realistically speaking, the average man experiences an erection 10-20 times a day. And just to be clear, not every boner happens necessarily because the guy is sexually aroused. Sometimes the guy has an erection for no real reason. It's why men may experience morning erections (or "morning wood") when they wake up despite nothing sexual happening - it's sometimes just because their testosterone levels are running high at that time and it produces an erection.

So with or without Sakura, guys like Kakashi will just be popping boners daily regardless of whatever reason or lack thereof. It just happens sometimes, and that's why none of us gals should be making fun of our male peers if we catch an awkward tent in their pants. Please y'all don't be mean like that.

2. For that question, you will have to wait and see!

Although... I must admit, this is the first time in my life I've heard of "shaking of the sheets" 😂 idk who coined that term but I can't say it's the most appealing. Got me all giggling with this image:

[mello-jello]

Preview:

Levi lay in his bed, glaring at the ceiling, frustrated beyond all hell. Another sleepless night. He turned to look at the clock. 2am. His eyes felt heavy in their sockets. He had been getting concerned looks all week from other Scouts. He must have looked as tired as he felt.

He closed his eyes once more, willing himself to sleep. He had already cleaned his room to an immaculate state. He was caught up on all his reports and he even helped some of the other squad leaders with theirs. Maybe Four-Eyes is still up, he thought to himself. He tried to stay as still as possible, focussing on taking deep, even breaths. He focussed on trying to relax the muscles in his back, his arms, then his legs. He looked at the clock again. 2:04am. He made an audible tch and got out of bed.

He got dressed in the standard uniform. At this point it’s not likely he’ll be able to sleep before reporting for duty. Might as well get started for the day.

He walked down the winding staircase to where Hange’s lab was located. The last door on the left. He saw light coming from beneath the door, but past experiences taught him not to assume she was still awake. Many times he would find her passed out, face down in a pile of papers, having worked herself until her body demanded rest.

This time, however, he could hear her through the door, muttering to herself and shuffling various objects around. She sounds frustrated at whatever she’s doing. Good, Levi thought. She’d probably be up for a while still. He turned around, and went to the kitchen to brew enough tea for two.

He returned with the teapot and two cups. He knocked on her door, but there was no answer. He could still hear her prattling on about whatever. She didn’t hear him. He let himself in. She had her back turned to the entrance, her hands resting on her head, musing to herself.

The usual state of Hange’s lab was infuriating to Levi, but tonight he did not have the energy to care. He haphazardly pushed a pile of papers out of the way and placed the tea set on the table. She still didn’t notice his presence until he started to pour.

She paused mid sentence and sniffed the air. Then a knowing smile graced her lips.

“Ah, Levi! Thank you, just what I needed,” she turned and took the cup from Levi’s outstretched arm, bringing it to her face. She inhaled the scent once more before taking a sip. “Ahh,” she sighed, “No one makes it like you do.” Levi made a non committal sound and sipped his own tea.

“Yikes,” Hange said, when she finally got a good look at him.

“Shut up,” Levi muttered into his cup, and took another sip. “I haven’t been sleeping,” he sheepishly admitted. Had he napped at all in the past three days? He couldn’t remember. Probably not. He rested his elbow on the table, gently rubbing his eyes. They were sore and stinging and watering up against his will.

“You often don’t sleep well… but… I’m guessing this is worse than usual?”

Levi nodded his head and rested his face in his palm, his fingers gripping his hair.

“I can tell because you missed the perfect opportunity to say something like, ‘I still look better than you on a good stay, Shitty Glasses’”. Levi huffed a short laugh out of his nose at her impression. It was pretty good.

Hange’s face fell at the half hearted reaction. “I wish I could help in some way,”

Levi looked up at her, touched by her concern. “It’s fine. I came here so you could bore me to sleep with your digressive rambling, so,” He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and threw his feet up on the table, knowing she wouldn’t object. “Continue,” he said, closing his eyes.

[compassionatereminders]

do you mind if i vent? so, it is me and my fiancé's anniversary today and well, it didn't go quite well actually. we were on the call then, suddenly, he hunged up and sent me a message saying "baby, I love you. can we talk later? muah". he initially told me that he got into an argument with his mom. and well, it was going alright since i let him have his space and everything BUT when he called me back which did take almost 8 hours of me patiently waiting? i asked him if he was alright and THAT if he is feeling any better, he said yes and that he just wanted to sleep with me over the call.

well, i was quite worried about him so i started to ask him about what kind of argument did him and his mother got INTO but he kept answering to me like "oh, it was nothing. please, it's nothing. alright?" but it seems so unfair to me because whenever i've had personal family issues at hand and cried even IF i wanted to be alone and have my OWN personal space? he would always ask me about what was going on and i'd always tell him everything. like is it bad that i just wanted to be there for him and he won't open up to me?,

couple of minutes later while we were texting, i kept asking him questions about it and so he insisted on telling me which all he said was "it was the same thing as before. she was yelling at me for no reason". then, he told me to stop making him mad like alright damn. i just wanted to be there for you as your fiancé?????? that kind of broke my heart reading that message from h i m. yikes-

was i in the wrong? like damn, also, i sent him A HAPPY 3 YR anniversary paragraph only for him to tell me that it was cute and that i was being such a sweetheart to HIM. he also reread my own paragraph out loud to me over the call then, asked me if i missed him like wow. not even a thank you? or an i love you back?

ah, he was probably sleepy since it is 2am at that time and we were on the phone. idk, am i overthinking and overreacting way too much? because i'm starting to think that i am,,, :((

so yeah. i yelled at him and told him over the phone like "wow, at least an i love you baby? how's your day, baby? did you eat well today baby?- then he FINALLY said "I love you, baby. muah, muah, muah!" while he is half asleep. i asked him if he wants to talk tomorrow and then, he says "why do you always want to start an argument with me for? let's sleep together".

well. i hunged up on him afterwards, *sigh*

I don't necessarily think you were in the wrong - but it sounds like you gotta work on communicating your needs before you explode and he gotta work on actually taking your needs into consideration...

[ajnata]

1, 6 & 14 🌟

01: Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

im going to talk about ttvd because it’s the only one that im *actually* writing but if u want to read abt iog or unofficial check out this and this! (they’re a little outdated but we’ll take what we can get </3)

anyways - ttvd! my darling, beloved. im going to be real with u i have no fucking clue what this book is about. it was SUPPOSED to be a short story about this creature named the void that stole aspects of humans to become one itself and the impacts of its actions but then i started actually writing it and…ive rewritten the beginning at least five times now because i keep bullshitting man like. it’s a story but it sure as shit aint short. it’s now a convoluted mess featuring a mystery following several serial killers, celestial bodies except ✨ alive ✨ & two gays trying to live w the fact that one of them is slowly killing the other. im considering branching this story off from ttvd altogether and sticking with my original plan for this one because this is not the direction i was planning on going with this at all yikes! but i also like the idea enough not to want to abandon it u feel me ALSO like. they’re similar enough that i feel like id be repeating a bunch of it idk 🤷🏽 anyways i did not expect this to be a rant i dont think i’ve actually answered any of the questions help

06: What character do you have the most fun writing?

i’m going to cheat and name two characters only because the reason i love writing about them is because of their dynamic - igor and esmerelda. their relationship arc is friends to perhaps something more to enemies like wow that is already gold right there anyways i dont think ive talked about them here so!! basically, these two are the creators of the imminence, which is this super cool international society that helps dreamers connect with one another wow much sparkles also i apologize for literally everything i’ve written it’s 2am i simply am not 😌🙏🏽 anyways basically they both learn x major fact about dreamers and have opposing viewpoints on it, which leads esmerelda to turn her back on igor and the society that they have built and create one of her own in favour of shutting the imminence down. it’s nice and angsty and they’re both really bitter and old and snark at each other whenever they make an appearance in iog so i absolutely love writing about them. yes simply what a vibe

14: At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

titles haven’t really ever been hard for me and i don’t really feel the need to give my wip a title before writing it so when i come up with a title is a wildcard sometimes it’s in the outlining phase sometimes it’s in the middle of actually writing it 🤷🏽 usually ive figured out the title before ive figured out character names though because those are the true pains in asses

send me writing asks!

[hvlfwygod]

aquaman | griffin, zoey & reid

summary: does anyone even knock anymore? tw: teen angst

Griffin was on Zoey's couch, and Aquaman was playing on her TV, but he wasn't watching. Instead, he was angled toward Zoey, awkwardly leaning, kissing her. They'd started without really discussing it, and he hadn't had the time to adjust his position in a way that was more comfortable or even remotely cool. But he didn't really want to stop for long enough to shift, so he just dealt with the weird angle and the quiet protest in his back.

It was like this every time he came over now. No, they never talked about it, but it was more an unspoken rule at this point. They start movie, or a TV show, or maybe a game. It didn't really matter, because whatever they did they hardly ever finished. (He could still feel the ghost indents of the Battleship pieces pressed into his hand when they started making out before clearing it away.) At least the couch was soft and his shoes were off so he could, if he wanted, tuck his legs up and make himself more comfortable and— did he always think this much while he was kissing her? He could never remember, everything always blanketed out into white noise by this point. Griffin pulled back for a breath, and he quickly rolled his shoulders as he pressed into her lips again.

Zoey was in an apparently more comfortable position than Griffin, not at all bothered by the explosions in the background. She was always tempted to turn off the movies or shows that they had running, since it was pretty obvious that neither of them were actually interested in watching them, but the idea of kissing in silence was weird, and she wasn’t quite desperate enough yet to make a make out playlist.

She ran her fingers through his hair before she snuck them under the hem of his shirt at the back of his neck, and felt satisfaction curl in her stomach at the contact. How lame. She moved unconsciously towards him as he pulled away, felt dumb, and made a small, pleased sound as he kissed her again. She hoped that Griffin would react to it positively instead of making fun of her; something he hadn’t done yet but something Zoey feared any time she gave him opportunity.

“Ten minutes is enough of a heads up, right?” Reid didn’t wait for an answer, not like they’d get one from Koa anyway. The enormous dog just kept chewing on one of his toys. They grabbed the boxes of hair dye on the kitchen counter and checked their hair in the mirror, admiring Devin’s 2am handiwork. Taking a few steps, Reid reached the kitchen door, checked their phone one last time, and disappeared.

It was dark. And fuzzy. “Which way is the— fuck. Where’s the door?” Reid grumbled, pushing past clothing until they bumped their shoulder into the closet door.

He made a small, pleased sound in return to Zoey’s, his own hand moving tentatively from her thigh to the small of her back. He paused there, trying to decide without pulling away where his line was. He liked it when she splayed her fingers along his neck, so maybe she would, too… But before he could continue, he heard something. Maybe he was imagining it, but Griffin heard the faintest thump from… somewhere. Further in the apartment? Reluctantly he pulled back, just long enough to ask, “Did you hear…?” But he didn’t wait for an answer before he was kissing her again.

Zoey moved closer at Griffin’s touch. Maybe one day she’d tell him about how much she wanted to bottle up the sound that he just made, but any opportunity she’d had was never taken. If she ever said that out loud, it would be so embarrassing that she’d combust on the spot. She looked at him through a heavy lidded gaze when he spoke, and realized that she made a mistake immediately. He was gorgeous and she wanted to make him pay for it. Too focused on the task at hand to process his question or any distant sounds, she moved her hand to his jaw, and pulled away this time to kiss Griffin’s neck.

A pair of Zoey’s sunglasses sat askew atop Reid’s head as they burst into the common area. They threw out their arms, calling to their best friend. “Honey, I’m hooo—“ Zoey was on the couch, tangled up with— “-ly SHIT. Griffin?” Reid’s hands flew up to block out the euphoric expression on Griffin’s face before it was burned into their retinas. “MY EYES!” They wailed, turning away from the couch.

He knew he heard something. As soon as he was recovering from the near-euphoria of Zoey’s kiss against his neck, he heard an ungodly yell. The first thing he did was scowl. Something that piercing and grating didn’t belong in this moment. And then, his mind caught up with him and he leaned backwards, but not by much. The scowl remained, and he glared at Reid, hoping they felt it through their hand. “Dude!”

It was a lot to process at once. The yelling began once her lips met Griffin’s skin, and in a moment of panic, she pulled away. And then Zoey realized that it was not Griffin yelling but her teleporting best friend. Better? Not by much. She felt the heat rising up from her chest all the way to the top of her head. For a single, horrible moment, she was afraid that she might cry in front of Reid and Griffin. Instead, she pressed her hand to her forehead and laughed.

One arm over their face, vision obscured, Reid turned back around. “Dude? Dude!” They did their best to jab a finger in Griffin’s direction, but completely missed the mark, pointing a few inches too far to the right. “What are you doing?! Zed, blink twice if you need help.”

"Oh my gods," Griffin grumbled, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He just wanted to go back to kissing, but Reid of course had to ruin everything. Zoey's laughter only grated him further, and he felt his whole body getting way too warm. "She doesn't need— can you leave?" Griffin crossed his arms over his chest.

Zoey sucked in a short breath before laughing again, Reid’s appearance and continued reaction getting the better of her. She finally contained herself, rubbed the space between her eyes, and sighed. “Can we, like,” She wasn’t really sure which one she was speaking to or where she was going with the sentence, but she felt pretty swindled by the fact that she didn’t get the teleportation powers that her friends did, because then this wouldn’t be a problem for her anymore. “Let’s just– look, let’s,” she kept expecting the rest of the sentence to fill itself in. She groaned and pressed her fingers into the space below her eyes. “Can we just, like, Reid, can you give me like, ten minutes?”

“Can you leave?” Reid countered, crossing their arms. Eyes still screwed shut, they turned in the direction of Zoey’s voice. “I gave you ten minutes already.” Their voice sounded whiny, even to their ears, and Reid scrunched their nose in distaste. “Didn’t you get my text? I thought we were doing my hair. Is that still, like, on the table?” They tried to point at Griffin again but this time their aim was a few inches too high. “Or did you knock it off the table while you were eating each other’s faces off?” Reid shuddered dramatically.

The heat spread and got more intense, not only because of Reid, but also because it seemed to him that Zoey was planning to blow him off. He wasn't sure if he felt hurt or annoyed more. His jaw clenched and unclenched as something loud crashed on the TV screen. "I got here first," he grumbled." And then, louder: You texted her and she didn't answer and you came anyway?" The acid was clear in his tone. "Who does that?"

“The one fucking time I’m not on my phone,” Zoey huffed. She’d picked up a nearby pillow and was running her hands over it. “Dude, you can open your eyes, we’re literally just sitting here.” She turned the pillow and ran her hands in a different direction. They hadn’t set a specific time for hair coloring, and she didn’t think that it would end up a problem. She was going to request that they push it back a few hours, but frowned as Griffin spoke. “Woah, dude, chill out.”

Reid twitched slightly at the sound from the TV. A scowl passed over their face. Opening one eye, they squinted at Griffin. “I got here first.” Mimicry was not Reid’s strong suit but it was clear that they were poking fun at Griffin. “Yikes, did you really say that?”  They had been about to offer to give the couple (ew)  some space for a few minutes but the way Griffin was talking to them frayed on Reid’s nerves.  It felt good to have Zoey back them up— even if she had been sucking face with Griffin, at least she wasn’t blind to the fact that he could be a dick. There was another loud sound from the TV and Reid finally opened their other eye, face turned towards the screen. They jabbed a finger in its direction, taking the excuse to turn away from the couch. “You made Aquaman witness that too? Eugh. A crime.”

"What?" Griffin looked to Zoey this time, his nostrils flaring as she turned on him, too. Hurt flashed across his features, but then he just looked annoyed yet again. "Are you actually—" He didn't know how to continue without turning this into even more of a disaster, so his mouth just hung open while Reid continued, pointing now to the TV screen. Eventually he pressed his lips together, then grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. "Happy?" He tossed the remote back on the table then sank into the couch, his head dropping into the back cushion. "Didn't realize this was so..." That, too, he didn't know how to finish, so he didn't.

Zoey glared back at Griffin. “You can’t–“ But her jaw twitched as Reid continued, and the background noise and distraction was cut. She made a disgruntled sound and threw the pillow across the room, vaguely in Reid’s direction, but there wasn’t enough force to actually pose a threat of hitting anything but their ankles. “Stop acting like you don’t walk in on Devin and her fucking pick me boyfriend doing way worse. At least this is my place. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want in front of Aquaman.”

Reid raised their eyebrows slightly at Griffin, the room feeling too quiet now without the buzz of the movie in the background. "Son of a shit," they muttered, not caring if he heard them. The pillow Zoey had thrown collided with one of Reid's ratty Converse and settled limply on the floor. "Ow," they deadpanned, looking over at her. Immediately their face screwed up in an expression of disgust. "Don't remind— Yuck. Okay, yeah, and it's awful every time. I have to ask Logan if he can wipe my memory like he's one of the Men in Black but he hasn't yet." They shrugged, jamming their hands into the pockets of their jacket. It would be easier to leave, since their dramatic reaction had been less funny than Reid had thought it would be. But leaving meant that Griffin was getting what he wanted so they stayed where they stood, waiting to see if Zoey would ask them to go again.

His jaw clenched again at the mention of Eli, and he sat up again, this time glaring at Zoey. "Dude. If I can't talk back to Reid when they're the one who walked in on us, then you, neither of you," he swung his angry stare to Reid and then back to Zoey, "can talk shit about my friend." He didn't want to be the one to leave, but the longer he sat here, the less he wanted to stick around. "I think I should go," he grumbled, but still he didn't rise from his seat.

Griffin had a fair point, Zoey guessed, but she was too angry about the situation to admit that. Her eyes burned as she watched him. She didn’t want him to leave, but the fact that he hadn’t actually moved to do so riled her up until she was the first one to stand. “Cool, take your time thinking about it.” She walked around the back of the couch so that she wouldn’t have to pass Griffin on the way to her bedroom, and kept her gaze on the door so that she didn’t glare at Reid as she passed them. “Just–“ She opened and closed her mouth but just made an exasperated sound as she slipped into her room and slammed the door behind her.

The desire to say 'yeah, maybe you should' was so strong, Reid had to turn away to avoid making the situation worse. They closed their eyes, tilting their face upwards as they inhaled through their nose. Zoey's retreating footsteps were expected, as was the following slam of the door. The look they cut in Griffin's direction was icy. It's message was clear: look what you did. Reid took a few steps down the hall, their voice drifting through the cabin as they knocked on Zoey's door. "Zed?" It would be easier to use their powers and pop into the room but, with the way the day was going, Reid decided against it. "Zed, you dramatic ass Leo. Come back out here, this is your house."

Griffin felt the slam of Zoey’s door through his whole body. He stood as soon as she was gone, all the pent up energy escaping through his limbs as he stalked around, picking up his things. He sneered at Reid once he noticed their accusatory look. “This is all your fault,” he sniped, returning the blame right back to them. And even though they were already walking away, he continued, speaking to their back. Somehow he seemed to be getting even angrier with every word he spoke. “Thanks for always making my life a little worse. You suck.” He ground his teeth together as Reid spoke to the closed door, evidently ignoring him. He couldn’t believe Zoey was picking them over him. “Yeah!” he shouted, hoping she heard from her room. “The gross boy is leaving so it’s safe!” Suddenly, the strap to his backpack broke clean in half, and the bag crashed to the floor. Griffin glared at it, confused and frustrated that nothing seemed to be going his way, then quickly snatched it back up and then stormed out.

Zoey pressed her back to the door and slid down it to the floor. She felt like screaming, but apparently not everyone knew that slamming a door meant that an argument was over, Zoey wasn’t actually available, try again later. She pressed her palms into her eyes until she heard Griffin make his exit. “Go. Away!” She brought her fist down against the door with the second word, hoping that it covered up the shake in her voice. “Just fucking leave, Reid. Like, literally get the fuck out.”

He couldn't see it, but Reid rolled their eyes at Griffin's words. When his backpack crashed to the floor, they snorted. He deserved it for the way he'd spoken to them. The tension only left their shoulders when he stormed out.  Zoey's words, however, were a different matter entirely. A defeated groan rose in the back of their throat and Reid tapped the door twice with the side of their hand, almost too softly to make a sound. "I'm going," they said quietly, already heading for the door as the past ten minutes replayed in their head.

[sachiwrites]

Can I get some "what if you were college roommates or something with Sakusa" HCs? Also I love your writing and I've also been struck by thirsting over Sakusa disease lol.

i got you !! awe ty ty. stay thirsty by friends.

— whether you’re in a relationship or not, cleanliness is next to godliness. meaning that if you don’t clean up after yourself and maintain an immaculate living area free of germs, sakusa kiyoomi will personally send you to hell. guaranteed.

I that being said, he at least has some trust in your hygienic abilities if he’s agreed to share his space with you. he’d already been randomly paired up with someone once before and would not willingly put himself through that. the boy has standards though and you better comply. there is no Wednesday trash day or friday mop day. daily chores are a requirement especially if you plan to sleep peacefully that night. he can’t physically force you spend all evening cleaning, certainly not after a long day of class. but good luck getting sleep when he’s clanking around trying to meet his standards.

is sakusa really that clumsy? no, every dropped broom is straight up pettiness. and oh look, 2am, it’s vacuum time.

cleaning guru aside, sakusa actually turns out to be a pretty solid roommate. he’s a reliable individual who never misses his half of the rent and is respectful of personal belongings. you never have to worry about him digging in your leftovers. he’s pretty practical and frugal with his spending as well, so you rarely have to worry about him taking up too much pantry space.

— it’s college. do i hear a party? well, not at home, that’s for sure. sometimes after a long stressful week, it’s nice to drink away or chat through your frustrations with a social unit. the likelihood of sakusa joining is about zero, 100% of the time. another habit you realize, more often than not, is how conveniently awake he is every time you come home. he’s not sitting on the couch always but when you walk past his room, you can still see the light from his lap under the door.

oh yikes, that one time you decided to leave a party early and didn’t think you’d need a cab home and ended up getting lost? talk about a hesitant call despite the circumstances of your precautions. but too many streets were passing without recognition and the hour was already getting late.

he’s awake- as you expected but you still curse quietly in apology when he answers anyway. he sounds bothered at first, grumbling about the hour and accusing you of being drunk. but then something catches your eye- a figure? or was that a cat? and you whimper.

there may have been some background noise on the other side of the line but it’s muted now. “how are you lost? you got there fine didn’t you?” it’s such an obvious question and you can only laugh wetly and shrug, despite his inability to see. oh, but he hears it though and his shoulders stiffen unwitnessed. his fingers are already closing around the metal of house keys. “can you list any of the street names?” because you certainly couldn’t have ended up in a different city and with his team travels he’s vaguely more familiar with his surroundings. the ones you list of give him a general idea and he instructs you to stay where you are. he’ll be there soon.

— somehow, all your life you’ve never realized how efficient grocery shopping could be until you’re with sakusa. sure you have your lists but occasionally you can get distracted and spend more than your allowances that much on foods that will likely waste away in the fridge. he prefers to go late at night when he can, the larger stores are less crowded and the night staff are typically replacing most of the goods at that time anyway. he pushes the cart, always but sometimes you hold onto the handle as well just to keep pace with his long strides.

you absolutely cannot ever sit in the cart, no matter how tempting it is or how strong he can be. it’s unsanitary and he will not have your body contaminating his food. regardless if you’re dating at the time and how cute it would be. he’s not budging and no sneaky kisses are going to change his mind. he does however, allow you to snuggle in his warmup hoodie and hold his hand as you roll through the refrigerated section.

he’s pretty hyper aware of what’s already in the house or what your tastes are and vetos any unneeded items.

“no, you had frozen pizza all last month. let’s get things for hotpot instead.”

“i had to give that brand to shoyo last time because you never ate it- no you’re not going to be better about it this time. you weren’t the last three.”

“we don’t need … alright but just one box.”

— so you’re dating and decided to share a room now to save space. sakusa is 300% a blanket hog and you can’t fight me on it. he’s subconsciously so aware of his body temperature, that he just fights against potential colds naturally. even under a simple summer sheet, you’re forced to sleep right under him to guarantee even an inch of coverage.

you’ll grumble in his ear about it around midnight, effectively rousing him from sleep because you can’t just tug it from underneath him. he’ll grouse back, but then the sheets are rustling and you feel a brief breeze before they’re falling flat against your form.

occasionally you start off as a clinger and don’t really need the warmth of a blanket. head tucked under his chin and leg thrown over his hip. he’s not too restless so it’s not something he’ll complain about too often. and you’re sure to thank him with morning kiss to his jawline.

“could you at least brush your teeth first?”

“love you too, yoomi”

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @myriadimagines!!! Sam!!! Another trip around the sun!!! FUCKIN SUPERB U FUNKY LI’L ANGEL!!!! :D I love you so, so much and I hope today (and everyday) is as lovely as you are, and I hope current events and mental health improve going into the new year, bc yikes!! Thank you for your continued presence in this crazy messed-up world, because rest assured you brighten it just by existing and I speak for everyone when I say I am so, so grateful for that!! 💕🌷✨💕🌷✨💕🌷✨💕🌷✨

(Uhhh note: I have been trying to write this since I watched TOG but for some reason it just?? refused to come out right?? and I’m writing this now @ 2AM?? and it still hasn’t come out right?? and you deserve so much better than this but?? it’s all my dumbass brain has got?? and I hope I post this at an okay time for the time zone difference?? and I’m so sorry???? :’) asdfghjkl I love you so much I hope you like it ahhHHHHHUUhhHH)

Booker + Sam

Death clung to him. It waited, patient, filled every footprint he left on this earth and the shadows over his bed at night. It was strange that death stalked him this relentlessly, for a man who couldn’t die. Maybe it wasn’t waiting for him. Maybe it was waiting for him to love again, to take its recompense for his long evasion of it once more.

Never again, he thought. He had all he needed; his family, who hated him, and his guilt, which rotted through every crack in his soul.

Never again.

He didn’t realize he had failed his one rule till it was too late.

You were a neighbour, like the millions of others he’d had over his lifetime. He only knew you by your voice at first, and through it, he knew you. You sang in the shower, and you weren’t half bad. You were exuberant when you had friends over, but not loud enough to be irritating when he was trying to sleep off a hangover (and when your friend was crying, your voice dropped to a soothing murmur. He almost wanted to hear what advice you had to give.) You laughed so hard at what sounded like stupid romance movies that he almost worried you were choking. And when the smell of burning toast wafted from under your flat’s door, your panicked curses were very loud.

That was the day he put a face to your voice. He had dragged himself off the bed and went to knock on your door, just in case you were in danger of burning alive. The only thing that was on fire, though, was your face when you saw that the person standing outside your door with eyebrows raised in concern was the neighbour you’d been admiring from afar for so long. The aforementioned neighbour would have been content to leave your relationship at that: smiles and half-nods in the hall, if you hadn’t been drawn together like gravity afterward. The moment your eyes had met, something had changed, and you fell together like you had just been waiting to meet.

He couldn’t remember exactly when he realized he loved you. Was it a quiet night made for quiet questions, a bottle of wine between you? Or the night of traded music played through the wall, after he had heard you playing a song from a band he liked as well, and replied with his favourite from the album, the first time he had smiled genuinely in what felt like centuries? A thousand little moments made falling in love easier than falling asleep, a thousand brush strokes forming a picture of a new life. Questions blurring the evening into the night, the wonder in your eyes when he showed you his library and your hesitancy with the older books that looked like they would fall apart under your eyes, the night you fell asleep on his bed beside him because you locked yourself out of your flat… and the day you saw him die.

He would never forget the look on your face. He held your shaking hands in his, blood smearing from his fingers onto yours. “I’m okay. Sam, look at me. I’m okay.”

“How?” The word was breathless. He could still hear you pleading for him to hold on.

“It’s…”

Despite everything, your voice was stronger when you said, “Don’t say it’s complicated, Booker.”

That got a half-smile out of him. “Alright. That’s fair. Do you want me to explain now, or after I shower?”

Your face had paled from just the mention of the blood congealing on your floor, your shirt, his chest, and you had just nodded. He had left the room quickly then.

It had taken all night to explain. Once you had exhausted your questions you hugged him fiercely, refusing to let him move further away. The emotions tying you together beneath the silence were unspoken, but his answer came in his arms around you. Even when your breathing softened, he refused to move, barely even breathing in fear of the moment shattering. In fear of fucking it up. Your hand rested where the bullet had bored through his chest only hours ago, and the shame came for him – came for him, and left.

He had been attracted to you, and you to him, not by looks or personality, but by something deeper. Of course, he could be wrong, he had been before, and he would rather suffer a real eternity than prove it, but… You were special. You were one of them, he was sure.

The words came for him in the early morning, vicious in their simple honesty:

“Till then, you’re alone.”

“Not so alone anymore, Andy,” he murmured to himself. With a smile, brand new and fragile, he kissed your forehead to wake you. Who knows, one day you might meet her, might meet all of them.

[shaechans]

ask game!!

the answers are under the cut in case it goes too long hehe

Last Song You Listened To?

from home by nct

Relationship Status.

single!!

Did You Wake Up Cranky?

no in fact i woke in a really good mood cause i didn’t have school lmao

How Many Followers?

426 holy shit thank you

Take A Vitamin Daily?

nope

Do You Sing In The Shower?

of course. but sometimes i just think of shower thoughts

What Books Are You Reading?

started the hunger games series recently

Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“information technology (IT) is the study of design, development, implementation, support or management of computer based information” that’s my sisters’ 8th grade social textbook lols

Favourite Anime?

death note (thats the only ive watched so far, gonna start haikyuu soon)

Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom sigh i cried cause of this terrible headache i had and couldn’t handle anymore

Do You Collect Anything?

...albums?

What Did You Have For Lunch?

fish curry and fish fry yum

Do You Dance In The Car?

more like sing than dance but then again, it depends on the song and the mood im in

Do You Watch The Olympics?

as of now, no but i might have to soon

What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

11pm on school days and 1-2am on weekends

Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

nope

Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

none. i don’t like swimming. but if i chad to choose, pool. i’m thalassophobic

Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled!!!

What Makes You Happy?

making people laugh, the noise of laughter, kpop, and spending time with people i like annoying

Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

with music. but like music i haven’t heard before otherwise i get distracted and sing along

Dogs Or Cats?

dogs!!!!!!!111!!!! but cats have been coming at me recently

If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

ngl red or orange

PlayStation Or Xbox

hmm playstation

Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

lake better than ocean

Do You Believe In Magic?

yesss except black magic that’s bullshit

What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

juniper green

Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup!

Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

yes my shorts

Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

yes treasure (and superm’s super one album)

Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

noooo they’re scary

Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

yes VERY easily. i’m a trend follower

Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the time, it’s fun to think about in the morning

Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

oh yesss i love plane rides

Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts

If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

nct / the 1975

Are You A Picky Eater?

yes, VERY. and i have a small appetite so i can never really eat too much

Do You Like To Read / Write?

hmm write more than read

Do You Like Your Music Loud?

in between. sometimes it depends on my mood. but i’ll often lower the volume than increase

Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

hmmm present wrapping would be fun

What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

it’s the autumn > winter transition

What Are You Craving Right Now?

cookies and french fries:(( even though i ate those an hour ago

Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

lmao my ask and yes i use my laptop so

What Is Your Gender?

female!

Coffee Or Tea?

i don’t mind really but i would prefer coffee over tea

Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

nope but i do have a marketing test on the 29th yikes

Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

yes im tidy like that

Favourite Pokemon?

squirtle and snorlax cuties

Favourite Social Media?

ngl right now really proud of my tumblr. but it’s usually my instagram

What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

i love them

Do You Get Homesick?

YES ALOT, like i feel like that as soon as im out my house for like 5 minutes

Are You A Virgin?

yes and im 15

If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

fuck that motel i’d sleep in the car wtf

Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

yes<3

Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

hmm i don’t really yet

Do You Miss Your Ex?

don’t have one woohoo

What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

if beyonce can forgive jayz, i can forgive you ~ kevin moon

Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

the swings were are my favourite on the playground. i LOVE going on them and will fight 5 year olds to sit on one >.<

What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

banana

Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

OF COURSE. i would help anyone in need of help, homeless or not, outcast or not. if you wouldn’t please unfollow me thank you

Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

...yes

Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

..........yes

Do You Like Meeting New People?

sometimes yes sometimes no. it depends on the group of people, i’m attracted to lively and playful groups pf people

Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

nopeee

Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

opennnn

What Are Three Things You Did Today?

made myself a sandwich, replayed enhypen’s teaser a billion times and watched nct world’s latest episode

What Do You Wear To Bed?

comfy clothes

List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

none

Are You A Day Or Night Person?

day hmmm what

Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

i.... cannot remember.. i briefly remember this one dream where i, along with a group of people were locked up in this tower thing and it was a test???? and the judge was rain. he trained us for a week or something to rock climbing. and then i remember sunwoo helping me win when he was in the opposite team and he was about to kiss me woop but i fell.. and suddenly i was running away in a getaway car there were sirens in the beat of your heart kjakjahsj and then i woke up whew

Favourite Soda Drink?

ginger ale

Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

jeans

How Do You Look Right Now?

face oily, neck sore and eyes falling woooo

Name Something That Relaxes You

this playlist

What Tattoo Do You Want?

lowkey want a mmdiii (2503) or Yea, Simon says Hurry up 거리에 널린 flat hoop들 멈춘 순간 널 향해 조준 다 쏜다Hands up 뒤돌아 Hands up 흔들어 숨이 가득 차도 여기 법 계속 달려왜 또 눈치만 보고 서있나 우두커니 왜 또 겁먹은 표정을 짓나 이걸 원해?주문을 외워 I'm God 너희를 홀려 like wow NCT we all so sexy NCT noise you can't break me 누가 날 욕해 who Bless me achoo Simon says be cool Don't be such a fool Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind Yo 꽉 막힌 차 사이로 길을 여는 siren 니 맘에 그 체증을 밤새 뚫고 달려누구보다 빨라 전부 뒤에 가있어 거침없어 모든 건 내게 달려Eh 점점 분위기는 high high high high 우릴 막는 소린 bye bye bye bye 신경 다 끄고 놀아 밤새 누가 뭐라 하든 상관 안 해주문을 외워 I'm God 너희를 홀려 like wow NCT we all so sexy NCT noise you can't break me 누가 날 욕해 who Bless me achoo Simon says be cool Don't be such a fool Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind두려워하지마 널 막는 건 너 일 뿐 yeah 착각하지마 우린 오늘 break the rules 눈을 뜨고 깨어나 이 순간 깊숙이 빠져들어가 현실과 꿈의 사이 진짜 널 찾는 그 순간Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (aye, real vibe killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (aye, real vibe killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind We don't pay no attention but i don’t maybe the mmdiii.

whew that was a long one...kudos to whoever read all this bullshit

[starbuck]

So please do consume nutrients (it’s important!!) but also I was already having Irving @ Carnevale thoughts just now, and I hope you know I am waiting on tender hooks to hear about Irving? Getting laid? At Carnevale? 👀

okay i think that i will Very Much regret allowing myself to answer this question so late at night but I have no self-control anymore so HERE WE GO!

As I’ve mentioned, my point on this is far less one of concrete evidence (unfortunately) as it is my saying, simply, If There Was Ever A Time..., based on my own personal interpretation of canon. But hear me out here.

Irving was clearly having.... Problems before Carnivale... I mean, it seems that the problems began the moment Hickey first stepped onto Terror (as shown in the flashback in ep 7) but, for the sake of this not becoming an even longer essay, let’s just summarize his issues with Hickey pre-canon thru ep 3 as intensifying emotional stress due to repressed attraction. And things take a nosedive in ep 4 when he not only has to witness Hickey being flogged but is also fully aware of the fact that Hickey blames him for the addition of the “dirtiness” charge, even though he probably didn’t have anything to do with it (I don’t feel like finding it but Harvey and I discussed it at some point awhile back... my personal feeling is that Crozier tacked it on himself to ‘justify’ Hickey’s more severe punishment to the men as well as adding on extra humiliation but that’s a whole nother situation). 

Then we have ep 5 where Irving’s only significant scene is one where he yells at Manson for no reason, nearly becoming physically violent, while appearing to be drunk and then bolting with a horrified look on his face at the sight of Hickey. So, there is A Lot to unpack here... Firstly, there are a few scenes earlier on in the show in which Irving might be slightly buzzed but it seems that he kicked it up a notch in the month between eps 4 and 5 which makes sense due to stress from the issues already discussed plus Crozier’s increasing instability and lack of leadership and their ever-dwindling stores of food and supplies. Secondly, the fact that Hickey’s presence triggered Irving’s flight response, although Hickey did not even so much as acknowledge him. Certainly the fact that he had been caught in a moment of such poor judgement and so easily undermined would be bad enough, but I feel that it was more-so Hickey’s being there in general, especially in the vicinity of the hold, that was specifically upsetting to Irving. I’d imagine that part of the reason he was drinking was to try not to think about Hickey but now that was out the window too.

And now, we finally arrive at ep 6 and things are sort of a disaster. The opening scene of the command meeting is the last time we see Irving before Carnivale itself and um. Yikes? As if everything already happening were not enough, Fitzjames doesn’t take his rationing recommendation (4/5ths, 3/4ths, what’s the difference, right? Can’t risk demoralizing the men!) and hints at the impending walk-out. We don’t see Irving’s reaction to the announcement of Carnivale later on but I’d imagine that it wasn’t fantastic since he had just informed Fitzjames of how dire their situation was, only to be mostly brushed off and now, surprise! they’re going to be wasting a lot of food and supplies for no reason. 

So, I just went on for entirely too long about my Take on Irving’s mental state but that’s because I think Carnivale being announced was where he sort of reached his breaking point. At least most people’s issues didn’t start until after the ships got frozen in.. Irving’s had problems since day one which have gotten progressively worse and worse and I feel like this was the moment where he just said to himself “Fuck it. We’re all gonna die. I don’t care anymore.” and I have no idea what happened after that.

Well... I do know that he dressed up as an angel, got incredibly drunk, and sang his heart out (and like. Good For Him.) but I guess what I’m trying to say is that, not only is it true that anything could have gone down that night (you know, before everything Actually went down) but, if there was ever a time that Irving would have truly been down for Whatever (and possibly even actively sought it out) it was that night. As I mentioned before, I have no guess as to who it might have been because 1) this is all so speculative anyway that any guess would be a shot in the dark. 2) he was so drunk that I’m not sure he would have been picky. and 3) I don’t personally care who... it honestly doesn’t matter to me.

So hmmm... perhaps this is a bit anticlimactic... I did warn you that I didn’t have actual evidence. There are only so many Carnivale-related miracles I can perform. Nevertheless, The People wanted my Take so here it is! 

It’s almost 2am now and I’ve been typing this for two hours so I’m gonna stop but thank you for asking and I apologize for my delayed response. Hope it isn’t too much of a disappointment!

[flawlesspeasant]

From @writing-prompt-s:

You’ve never been able to grasp the fact that your spouse died in a car accident. Every day, you go to your phone and give them a call, not expecting a response. And every day you hear that monotone voice stating that they “weren’t available.” Until one day, they answer. 

wow ok so this isn’t my best work, but this prompt was reblogged on my dash and i saw it and i couldn’t help but think about quinn & rachel so i wrote it super quick and yikes it’s shitty but i couldn’t help myself

     -----------------------------------------------------------

it was the same thing over and over again, day in and day out.

she didn’t blink as she watched the snowflakes sprinkle down from the sky and land gently on her windowsill, collecting in the pile of snow that hadn’t yet melted from yesterday. truthfully, she somewhat doubted that she even remembered how to blink. it seemed like she didn’t remember how to do much of anything anymore.

with her hands folded and nestled up under her cheek, she laid in bed with her head permanently glued to the pillow, and let the blanket fibers tickle her nose when they rustled with her breathing. she heard the mailman’s truck slow to a stop just outside the window, and she knew that he would soon be there. she didn’t remember how to tell time, at least not the way she used to. for the last week, she learned to tell time by relying on certainties.

like how every day except sunday, the mailman would stop on their street and shortly after, kurt would knock three times and ask her if she wanted something to eat. and then a few hours or minutes -- she couldn’t tell which, everything ran together anymore -- after the mail came, the school bus would chug down their street and she knew that kurt would watch the drag race show in the living room, and she’d have something to listen to. in and out of sleep, in and out of consciousness, that was what her life was.

like clockwork, kurt knocked and told her he made soup. she didn’t answer, and he didn’t come in and that was the end of that. no forceful conversations, no blatant intrusion. just him living his life outside that door and her living what was left of hers.

nobody knew what to say to her, and she wasn’t interested in hearing it anyway. she’d heard a thousand “i’m sorrys” and maybe a million takes on “she’s in a better place”, but all those meaningless condolences did nothing but make rachel want to scream. she wanted to climb on top of the highest surface in all of lima and tell everybody to stop trying to make it better because it was never going to get any better. it was always going to be this bad, it was never going to be the way it should be, and the way it should have been was with her.

they didn’t know quinn like she did. they may have thought so, but they didn’t know her. not in the way that mattered. they didn’t know how her eyes twinkled when she was really excited about something and how her lip twitched if she was uncomfortable. they didn’t know the sound of her laugh at 2am, or the way her hair curled up when she just got out of the shower.

rachel rolled onto her side, smashing her face deep into the purple and white body pillow to her left. she inhaled. long, deep, uninterrupted. her scent was fading, just a little bit. but if she did it -- if she really inhaled deep enough -- she could still catch the little remnants of coconut shampoo and aloe lotion. the scent of quinn.

it was crazy, she thought. crazy the way that somebody could be gone so quickly. it was just last week that she was there, in bed next to her, laughing at nothing but everything and then the next day, she was gone. like she was a pair of car keys or television remote. there one second, gone the next. and the only thing she had to prove that she was ever there was the old pillow that she slept on.

her voice was fading too, and she didn’t know that it would happen that quickly. she figured she still had a few months before that started to happen, but she was wrong. it was happening all at once, happening so fast, like being swept up in a wave of the ocean with nothing left to grab onto...

...except for when she would muster up the strength at some point during the day and grab her phone.

she pulled her face out of the tear-soaked pillow and felt around on the mattress beside her for the smooth, silicone-covered rectangle. when she found her phone, she cleared the tears from her vision and unlocked it. and it was muscle memory by then, something she could do with her eyes closed. because it was something she’d been doing since she got that call last week.

she tapped on quinn’s name and laid the phone against her ear as it rung. in her head, she kept count. one...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight. eight rings was what it took for it to go to voicemail and after eight rings, she would be able to hear the sound of the deep, raspy voice that she would give anything to hear once again.

hey, it’s quinn. leave me a message. the words bounced around in her head like a soccerball, she memorized them the second day she resorted to doing this.

the phone rang longer this time, but she was too dazed to notice. it was on the tenth ring when it finally stopped, and it stopped the way her heart did when she heard rustling on the other end.

“...quinn?” she croaked, surprised at the sound of her own voice. she didn’t know she could talk anymore. that ability seemed to have gone away as soon as she walked down the hallway of the hospital and saw quinn’s mother collapsed, crying on the floor.

“hello?” she heard it. deep, raspy, her favorite sound.

she sat up in bed, hand glued to the phone, heart racing. “quinn?”

“rachel?”

“quinn!”

“rachel!”

she opened her mouth to say more, but the words just wouldn’t fall out and she needed them to. she needed them to, she needed to talk to her, she needed to know if she was okay. she needed her more than she ever thought she needed anyone, needed her to be okay, needed her to tell her that this was all some big elaborate hoax or a disgusting mistake. but why couldn’t she talk?

“rachel...” quinn’s voice faded as rachel felt her body being jolted from side to side.

“rachel,” kurt said softly, shaking her awake. “wake up... you’re having another one of your nightmares.”