#yet it would be easier to filter in my own blog so idk

[chemzee]

30 actually means points not level which thank god for that

Uf I did find out about that recently, so I suppose my post about Lottie is kinda outdated now :"D (wasthinkingofdeletingit)

And thank God fr tbh

But thanks for informing me nonetheless though!🧡

[kangals]

way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.

in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.

last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.

then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!

idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.

and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.

sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.

i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.

thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.

i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.

i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.

thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.

[hexenmond]

a fediverse tumblr

Dumping this here real quick because my brain is running away with me again and I can't follow fast enough.

I read some posts about transfem having to play whack-a-mole here on tumblr in the role of the mole… and it reminded me of two things:

tumblr has, for all its differences, some of the same problems as other corporate-owned social media sites, namely the users having to roll with whatever gets thrown at them.

Years ago (back when porn bots felt like the bane of my existence, ugh) I already had this idea of a fediverse, open source version of tumblr, like Mastodon is to Xitter. (is that pronounced "quitter"? "shitter"? idk)

And honestly? While I'm not currently active on Mastodon I've hung out there enough to know that it's by no means perfect, but it's a really good space to build a home in. And if you don't like the server you're on, you can move without losing any connections! That's a hell of a lot better than only being able to do an export of your blog that contains no information on your mutuals at all.

The biggest issue with fediverse is that somebody has to run, and very importantly pay for, a lot of servers. I've been looking for a PeerTube instance that accepts new people and there are vanishingly few at the moment, which I can totally understand but it's a serious hindrance to large scale adoption as it would be needed for tumblr folks.

On the other hand – there's AO3. Proving that it could be done, if enough people wanted it. And gods, we could do so many cool things with open source, user accessible code!

We could put in so many Easter eggs! Like that million and a half reblogs post that I saw this morning that summons a weird ask into your inbox. Or boops for April Fools. Or a spooky skeleton hunt for Halloween. (Or, indeed, swap the two in one year 😂😂😂)

We could keep the tags as they are but consolidate the most common ones in filters. We could optionally do reblogs with text versions of tags. We could have a fucking excellent search function! We could communicate with other parts of the fediverse, strengthening the whole.

Naturally we'd build a really well thought out import function that lets everyone import their tumblr blogs, even if they've been shitposting three times a day for fifteen consecutive years (woooo the minds boggles at that raw amount of data – I hope tumblr can even export it???), and re-link the usernames whenever someone new imports their stuff, so the usernames on posts with many reblogs would be named "iamatumblruser-not-migrated-yet" until they do, and they're maybe "ichoseanewusername (iamatumblruser on tumblr)". Opt-in of course.

Oh! We could get companies to sponsor the whole thing, or single servers maybe, and let them run ads in exchange. BUT those ads would of course be opt-in as well! So the companies would really have to up their ad game. (Not sure this would work with any crowd except the weird tumblrinas, but I think this could produce some really interesting results. I for one would pay attention to those companies.)

We could do public requests for and votes on code features. We could have a whole server only for trans women who got banned on tumblr. We could let people tag their blogs as a whole to make finding friends easier. Hell, we could give the thing a solid algorithm and make those "based on your likes" posts etc. opt-in! So if you want them they bring you cool things, and if you only ever want to see the posts from exactly three blogs that you follow religiously, that is also totally easily achieved.

Sigh… my brain is inventing paradise send help…

[devillainsarchive]

SHIPPING INFO // Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

REPOST. Don’t reblog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?: HONESTLY? I don’t know. I am such a ship whore that i love all the ships. On this blog I’d say my OTP is Mal x Carlos, and by proxy I love Uma x Carlos. In general I like the dark side to Carlos and Harry, and the soft side to Carlos and Ben. I alos love Poly Core4 with a passion. I also have a soft spot for Carlos x Chad so yeah nothing is out of bounds here. What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?: Anything and everything but rape. I will do fake dating, I will do forced engagement, i will do soulmates (ALL SOULMATE AUS) and everything. How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?: anything with someone who is of age and a minor. If both are of age I don’t care. If it is a teen and a child no. But if its like two 12 year olds who are like in puppy love, dealing with cooties I don’t see why that’s wrong (unless sex is at play then no no sex with anyone underage sorry) Are you selective when shipping?: I LOVE shipping. HOWEVER, Carlos’ two main ships are things that aren’t my biggest ships. I have to ship both of them under certain circumstances, and without a doubt I have to talk to the respective muns for a bit before anything happens. Like Jay and Carlos would never happen in canon unless poly Core4 for me. Jane and Carlos would happen in canon but with cerain parameters and such--- as i am adapting that to my canon once d3 comes out. How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?: if both characters are naked and dicks and boobs are flying everywhere, then yes i will tag with NSFW. I used to do smut RPs where nothing went under a read more, or was really considered NSFW (yeah i used to do smut rps oh the glee fandom LOLOL), so my filter for what WRITING i consider NSFW is so low. When it comes to images, lingere, faceless gifs of people who are supposedly naked and stuff that’s NSFW cause images are different than writing in that its easier to see an image than to read something at a glance at a screen. Who are other muses you ship your muse with?:  From non descendants canon, I don’t know. I haven’t gotten to experience that alot. I’m willing to try anything though. In descendants, you can look up a list of characters and I probably ship carlos with all of them with the exclusion of adults, and his own family. Does one have to ask to ship with you?: LOL, not really. Usually if I feel it the other person feels it. That’s how Dani and I started shipping Mal and Carlos. But seriously send me a meme and you may get surprised. Ari and I just let people assume, but I totally ship that, I think she might too but IDK. How often do you like to ship?: All times are a time to ship. Are you multiship?: Duh. Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?:  ships are not the end all be all. But I love ships. What is your favourite ship in your current fandom?: i am biased heavily towards Mal and Carlos as my number one. But i love Poly Core 4, Sea 3, most ships with Carlos, however a ship that isn’t Carlos based... I love me some Gil x Harry like i need more of that in my life. Finally, how does one ship with you?: Ask, send memes, try it for a thread, if Carlos shuts you down I may not be feeling it yet, so never take it as a no.

TAGGED BY: someone who is fucking trying to call me out but failing CAUSE JOBROS SANG IT BETTER TAGGING: All you Brits who know who the fuck Busted is.

[amistytown]

tbh, as much as I'm very "of course I'll be a nuisance on my own blog," I still get days where I feel as though everything is a lie and there's no point to me being online or talking about anything or my oc or trying to socialize when I'm dogshit at keeping up with people, and those times I get the strongest urge to delete my blog too. I've come close a couple times, and while sometimes I'm able to distract myself from thinking about it with stay off the site a bit, I find that... the most helpful thing for me is to remind myself that there are people who really do seem to enjoy my presence?

And while it's very easy to give in to the voices that tell you that you're annoying, unwanted, and that everyone could be lying to you about how much they like you, idk it just seems like the evidence points to no, you're not nearly as bad as you think you are. This is my thought process:

If I really were as unbearable as my mind makes me think I am, then more than half the people I'm mutuals with would've either unfollowed me or blocked me straight up already. They're not lying to me about liking me because that's just so much effort on their end when again, it really would just be easier to be rid of me. If I were unwanted, they'd have curated their feeds to where I am no longer around for them to be annoyed at. We're on Tumblr for a good time, why would anyone put themselves through the hassle of faking liking someone? This isn't Twitter lmao (and if people here are faking, well. That's on them. It's much more convenient to just block someone. What are you hate-following someone for?)

And even then, there's considering the fact that the people who do find that they don't enjoy my presence have already done something to filter me out. The people still around want me around. Perhaps it's on some level parasocial, but it's not as if we're random fans in someone's comment section having one way conversations; there's actual dialogue, a sharing of experiences on and one-to-one level. Internet friendships really are a Thing.

I think taking certain things into perspective helps as well. Simply knowing that the feeling comes and goes helps remind me that the feeling does come and it will go. And it reminds me to ask myself; if I delete my blog and cut myself off from the things I enjoy here, how much will I regret it once the feeling has passed? Would it be better for me in the long run to not have this outlet for sharing my experiences and finding others who enjoy the same things I do?

Which will sometimes bring up the question of "perhaps I should delete my blog for my better health?" and you know what? That's fair! If you really think you need to cut yourself off from it, then sure. In the end, it's still a blog and you can easily remake. (Or you can just leave it inactive and delete the app, that way if you ever change your mind, everything is still here)

I know I'm like, annoying when completely unfiltered lmao but another thing I think to myself is that there is are whole communities of people here who are fucking unbearable and whose ideals and content actively harm others, and I think they should all delete themselves off the internet but they're still here.

If TERFs, transphobes, racists, and all the like get to freely have their presence on here (and even actively intrude upon others' spaces to spread their agenda), why can't you? When you're literally just here enjoying your blorbos with your friends?

You've got every right to be here and have a good time.

But yeah. Tl;dr I kind of try to ground myself in some way by considering the external since like, I get the impulse to delete blog at least once a week yet I know it's an intrusive, unwanted thought. Hope some of this helps even just a little; I like having you around. We can be annoying together <3

That's exactly how I feel! You described everything really well, and I'm sorry you have those thoughts and feelings too. They can be difficult to deal with. Though a part of me is relieved I'm not alone lol. I think there are a lot of people who share our worries, but don't want to voice them because they're afraid to. I love reassuring and comforting others when they need it; your feelings are completely valid, and you shouldn't be ashamed of them. I know I enjoy you and your blog, and Tumblr wouldn't be the same without you!

Yeah, sometimes my mind goes to a place where it convinces me I don't matter to people or I'm a burden. I've been better at controlling those feelings, but my therapy session seemed to make me relive some of my darkest moments, and I felt very anxious and dissociated after. Maybe it's something I should mention to her, but I imagine talking about those memories becomes easier over time. I'm feeling a bit better today after getting out of the house at least. I hope you're doing well!

I really like your thought process, and I'll have to practice changing my way of thinking when I spiral. It's crazy how your own mind can pit you against yourself! I know I'd regret deleting my blog because it brings me more happiness than anything. My anxieties seem to seep into everything when I get in that frame of mind, but I need to stay positive and think things out logically. And this definitely helped and put things in perspective. I really appreciate you reaching out and being supportive! If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here ♥