#yet every week I'm sitting here ready to be hurt
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respectthepetty · 1 year ago
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And they lived happily ever after.
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James gets the MVP award.
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Ming is still my best boy but is looking exhausting. DON'T HURT MY PRECIOUS BABY!
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And second wife is my best friend.
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End of story. Nothing bad will happen because the story is over. Close book. Stop reading.
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HAPPILY EVER AFTER FOR ALL OF THEM!
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ggukiepie · 2 years ago
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one of your girls (jungkook x reader) (part 1)
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we don't gotta be in love, no i don't wanna be the one, no i just wanna be one of your girls tonight ~ i wanna take your light inside dim me down, snuff me out ~ give me tough love leave me with nothin' when i come down
pairing: fwb!jk x oc, brief jimin x oc
tags: smut, angst, a little bit of fluff (like teeny tiny)
warnings: two smut scenes, kissing, marking (hickeys), fingering, brief handjob, protected sex, slight dom!jk, sub!oc, praise, dirty talk, grinding, edging, oral (f. & m. receiving), throat fucking, dacryphilia, spit kink, brief masturbation (m.), squirting, brief anal play, back shots, cum shot, multiple orgasms (you'll see), aftercare
word count: 5.8k
a/n: been in my feels lately i had to write it out lol; wrote this in one sitting my hands actually hurt omg; inspired by the song "one of your girls" (ik don't roast me idk why it's stuck in my head fml); if this gets taken down then bye bye i literally just wrote it here directly lmaooooo; anw enjoy !!!! part 2 / drabble i (flashback)
..••°°°°••..°°••....••°°..••°°°°••..
You knew what you were getting yourself into the night you said yes to Jungkook. You knew you'd fall for him, be under his spell. You knew you'd end up getting hurt. You prepared yourself, you really did, yet you were still surprised when you woke up each morning and he wasn't beside you in bed. You felt your heart break a little bit more when you saw him with another girl, whether she'd be one of your friends or a complete stranger to you.
You tried to guard your heart. Reminded yourself to prepare for the worst. Forced yourself not to fall, not to be blindsided. I'm just having a little fun, you told yourself for the nth time.
jk: u busy tonight?
you: not really! just writing a paper that's due next week
That was sent hours ago and you mentally cringe at your reply. You always find yourself oversharing to Jungkook when you didn't even need to. You wanted to make it seem like your whole situationship was just casual. Like you didn't care. He rarely shared much about his personal life and so should you. But that hardly happened. You didn't want him to think that you cared, that you were clingy or waiting for him to text. You didn't even wait five minutes before replying and he hasn't even texted back.
You know what his text means. He wants to fuck and that's it. But he doesn't say it outright. No, never. He wants to make it seem like he cares, that he wants to know how your night is going. But he just wants to know if you're free to fuck and once you reply, he'll keep that as a reminder in the back of his mind, like he has a mental list of girls he can sort through at the end of the night when he's bored or when he wants to have a little bit of fun.
You know you're just one of his girls on his roster and you're fine with that. You're not his girlfriend and he's not your boyfriend. Though it does seem like that on some days, which is when you get the courage to not reply to his texts. When you try to shut him out and move on. He usually shows up outside your lecture hall with a cup of coffee in hand, bunny smile on his face as he waits for you to walk into the hallway. Like he's waiting for you, picking you up from class like a good and loving boyfriend.
It's all for show and it's only to get himself on your good side again. It works every time. You don't question yourself anymore. Jungkook likes the chase, likes the adrenaline of going after girls and trying to get them to fall for him, or sleep with him, or whatever. It's all the same to him.
You sigh again as you check your phone, hoping for a reply but knowing he won't text back. It's a Friday night and he's probably at some party. You go through your texts and open the conversation with your best friend.
jihyo: see u later! im picking u up so u better be ready >:(
You can't help but laugh at her insistence. Jihyo knows what you're going through since you tell her everything. You tell her you don't care though, that you're not looking for a relationship right now and your "thing" with Jungkook is just casual. But you know she sees right through your lies. It's even more obvious when you ghost all your friends and lock yourself in your apartment every night. She's trying to make you forget and move on and have some actual fun so you indulge her every time.
You get ready in less than an hour and actually put some effort into your appearance. You're not sure which party you're going to but you won't be surprised if Jungkook will be there as well. Maybe if you look hot enough he'll choose you tonight.
You hear a knock on your door and open it immediately, finding Jihyo laughing at something her boyfriend has just said. Most of the time you end up hanging out with her and Mingyu because she's always dragging you with her to keep you from being lonely. You don't mind it though because they're fun people to be with. Even though Mingyu is Jungkook's roommate and best friend. But Mingyu isn't anything like Jungkook. He looks at Jihyo like she's hung up the stars and moon. Loves her with all his heart and doesn't leave her second guessing. You always wonder why him and Jungkook are friends when they're so different.
Jihyo turns to smile at you, but it's still the lovestruck smile she gave Mingyu just seconds ago. You know you have the same kind of smile reserved for Jungkook. You wish you didn't but at the same time you're glad you do, like you have a part of yourself only Jungkook can see. Even though he doesn't do the same.
"You look so hot tonight!" she squeals as she pulls you in a hug. You laugh and roll your eyes, making eye contact with Mingyu as he nods his head in greeting. Jihyo steps back and grabs your hand, dragging you out your apartment so fast you barely have time to lock the door behind you. "Let's go before all the good drinks are gone."
It's a short but fun walk to the house where the party is being held. You find yourself laughing with Jihyo and Mingyu the whole time. They're the type of couple that doesn't make third wheeling a bore.
Loud music blares in your ears the moment you step inside. You feel your heels sticking to the floor. A typical frat house throwing a typical Friday night party. You immediately take shots with Jihyo and Mingyu. You need it to be able to survive the night since you already feel yourself tensing up at the possibility of Jungkook being in the same place as you.
You spot your other friends and hangout with them for the rest of the night. It's when you're playing beer pong with Jimin as your partner do you see Jungkook at the other side of the room. He's talking to some girl which is nothing new. It shouldn't phase you but it does. You thought you were going to be his pick for the night since he texted you a while ago.
You feel your heart fall at the sight of them, your chest physically hurting that you make Jimin throw the ball twice for the both of you since you can't focus. You feel all the fun and happiness slowly leave your body. You feel your stomach churn at the way he's got her trapped against the wall, tattooed arm placed beside her head, mouth whispering right against her ear. She's smiling and giggling at whatever Jungkook is telling her. You wish that were you.
"Forget about him," Jimin mutters in your ear. He's watching your beer pong opponents take their turn as you're watching Jungkook and the girl.
You shake your head at Jimin, turning your head to smile at him just to make it seem like you're okay. Just like Jihyo, he sees right through you.
Jimin's another close friend of Jungkook. They're not so different. Jimin likes to sleep around but he makes it clear that he doesn't want anything serious. Always nice and gentle with the girls he sleeps with. Jungkook makes it seem like you're his and only his. You wonder again why they're friends.
"Seriously, Y/N," Jimin says, a little bit of urgency in his tone. It's probably the look of longing on your face that raises concern in your friend. Everyone sees how broken you look when you catch Jungkook with another girl.
"I know," you say after a while. You talk just a little bit loud enough to be heard over the music. "Jungkook and I just sleep with each other. It's casual and that's it."
You hear Jimin sigh. He nods his head and it's his turn to throw the dirty ping pong ball. You've had this conversation with him and Jihyo numerous times already, sometimes it's the both of them and sometimes it's on separate occasions. You say the same thing every time. You think your friends are starting to give up on you. Maybe you should as well.
You force yourself to have fun for the rest of the night, always trying to be in a room where Jungkook isn't. You're not sure if he's spotted you. You don't know which hurts more—him not spotting you because he doesn't even bother looking for you in the crowd, or him spotting you but not talking to you because you're not his choice for the night. Either way, he doesn't care. You know he doesn't but you wish you did. You thought you'd catch his attention with the black dress you're wearing. Or with the way your hair is styled. But it doesn't work and you tell yourself that it's okay. You always see him in your peripheral though, either talking to someone or flirting with that girl.
You decide to leave when you see Jungkook leaving as well, fingers tangled with the girl's. She looks like a giggling mess and you can't blame her. Everyone falls for Jungkook's charms. You try not to dwell on the fact that they're going to have sex.
It's Jimin who walks you home. He can tell you're sad so he talks about his day and his classes, avoiding Jungkook's name even though you're positive that they hung out today. Jungkook's intertwined in so many people's lives it's hard to leave him out. But Jimin makes an effort just to distract you. You're grateful for it though and he keeps up the act all the way to your apartment. He asks if he can use your bathroom and you say yes, mindlessly changing into your pajamas once the bathroom door closes behind you. You thought you'd have a little bit more time to finish changing but you suddenly hear Jimin swear behind you. You live in a little studio apartment so there's not much room to hide.
"Oh fuck— Shit," he says. You turn around laughing to see him with his hand over his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbles.
You're in your underwear but you don't mind. "It's not like you haven't seen me like this before," you chuckle.
"Still," he reasons.
Because you're stupid and heartbroken and hurt, you walk up to Jimin and gently grab his wrist, bringing his arm down to his side. You look at him looking at anywhere else but you. Eventually he looks down at your body for a split second and you laugh at him.
"We shouldn't," he whispers.
You shrug your shoulders. "Just a little bit of fun, right?" you ask with a smile on your face. "Like old times?" you giggle.
Jimin lets out a scoff but it's more of a laugh. Like he can't believe you're both doing this again. "You sure you're not drunk?" he asks as he makes eye contact with you. Bingo. You got him.
"Nope," you say sweetly.
"But Jungkook?"
You roll your eyes to mask the hurt. "Don't care."
Jimin looks at you intently to make sure you're not bluffing. While you wait for his answer you unclasp your bra and let it fall down your shoulders, exposing yourself to him. His eyes widen at the sight.
"Okay," he breathes out. He suddenly holds you by the waist to place you on the kitchen counter. It has you giggling at him.
"Eager?" you ask when he starts kissing your neck. You feel him drag his teeth across your skin, like he's thinking if he should mark you up or not. You stretch your neck out even more and feel him biting at your skin, sure to leave a bruise.
"Just excited," he mumbles against your neck. You feel him smile.
You unzip his pants while he's busy sucking your nipples. He's hard already when you start pumping your hand up and down his cock.
"Feels good, baby," he moans in your ear. You're still wearing your underwear but Jimin doesn't mind, just pushes it to the side to insert two of his fingers inside your pussy.
"Oh," you choke out. He finds your spot right away and rubs his fingers against it. He doesn't make you come, just fingers you to make sure you're prepped. It's quick when he takes his fingers out and grabs the condom in the back pocket of his jeans. You watch him tear the packet open and roll the condom down his length.
You both don't say anything else as he pushes his cock past your tight walls. Doesn't give you a moment before he starts pounding, his skin slapping against yours.
It's always like this with Jimin—just quick and easy and no feelings attached. You both don't do it much, it happens at the most random times. Usually when you want to forget or when he's stressed from school. And after this you're both back to being friends. It's never awkward. You wish it were like this with Jungkook instead.
"Jimin," you moan when he starts rubbing your clit. "Gonna come."
"Go ahead, baby," he breathes out, placing a soft kiss on your cheek and leaving his lips there. You push yourself to release and Jimin follows right after. You're both breathing heavily when he pulls out, taking off the condom and throwing it in the bin. He zips up his pants and starts looking for something on your bed. You're still trying to catch your breath when you feel a shirt being put over your head. Jimin's sweet like this—does aftercare in the most platonic way possible.
"There," he says after helping you wear the shirt he found. He doesn't know it belongs to Jungkook. You don't think he minds if he does though.
"Thank you," you say quietly and give him a small smile.
"Anytime. I'll see you around, okay?" He kisses your forehead and you watch him leave your apartment.
The silence engulfs you and you think you should feel disgusted with yourself—that you're pining over a guy but you just had sex with another. With his close friend out of all people. But you push the thought to the back of your mind as you jump down from the kitchen counter and walk into your bathroom. You're just like Jungkook, you tell yourself. Just casually sleeping around and nothing else. He doesn't care and you don't either. You feel a teeny bit better.
You take a warm shower to wash all the remnants from tonight. You actually take your time just to clear your jumbled up mind. It's almost 30 minutes later when you step out and check your phone while you're drying off, heartbeat stopping at a text you've received almost an hour ago.
jk: u up?
jk: hey reply to me :(
jk: coming over
Your eyes widen at the last text. It was sent just 10 minutes ago. You don't know where he's coming from but the campus isn't that big so he'll probably be here soon. You quickly finish drying off and change into comfortable clothes. You hear a knock on the door the moment you finish changing. You take a deep breath before walking to the door and opening it.
You notice Jungkook's wearing the same clothes from the party but his shirt is a bit wrinkled. You think he just came from the girl's place. Probably fucked her and is here now because he's not satisfied. You should feel disgusted and mad but you're not. You're no better. You just slept with his friend.
"Hi," you mutter.
He smiles at you and leans in to kiss you on the lips. "Hey, sweetheart." It has you swooning.
You step to the side to let him in and he walks straight to your bed, sitting down to take off his shoes before lying down comfortably. You follow him and sit down on your bed right by his waist. He stretches out his arm to drape it over your thighs and you start tracing his tattoos absentmindedly. This is your usual routine.
"Did you stay in all night?" he asks. Just a little bit of conversation before he does what he's really here for. At least he has a little bit of decency. You don't mind though, it makes you think that he cares about you when he asks things like this.
You shake your head and smile at him. "Nah, Jihyo and Mingyu dragged me to that frat party." You can tell he's trying to hide his surprise.
"Oh, I didn't see you there," he mumbles.
"It's okay." You shrug. "There were a lot of people."
"We could've played beer pong together, I know you like doing that every time you're out."
Your heart clenches at his remark. You're surprised and hurt every time he remembers little things about you. "I was with Jimin, don't worry." Jungkook doesn't know the double meaning to it.
He nods and runs his fingers across your thighs. "Missed you. Sorry I didn't reply to your text earlier, got caught up in something." You know that's a lie. "Just got back from the party too, that's why I came here late." Another lie.
You nod and smile as if you believe him. And you force yourself to because it's easier than knowing the truth. It's silent for a moment before he mumbles c'mere and brings you on top of his lap.
"Missed this," he says quietly as he squeezes your thighs. His hands trail up your waist till he's squeezing your tits beneath the shirt you're wearing. You start grinding on his cock, getting out of breath too quickly. You missed this too. It's been a week since you last had sex with Jungkook which is a long time for the both of you.
"Kook," you pant. He's pinching your nipples knowing that's where you're most sensitive.
"I know, sweetheart. Take your shirt off for me, hm?"
You nod your head dumbly and do as you're told, watching Jungkook stare at your body. He stops moving beneath you and you're about to ask what's wrong when he brings his hand up to touch the hickey on your neck that Jimin left.
"Who's this from?" he asks. You can't tell if he's mad or just curious. Jungkook isn't showing any emotions on his face and you're starting to get nervous.
"Just..." You think if you should tell him the truth. You look into his eyes and try to see if there's any semblance of care. You don't know. You really can't tell. Then your eyes trails down his body, to his neck and the wrinkly white shirt he's wearing. There's a red stain on the collar and you know it's lipstick. From the girl he slept with earlier. "Someone," you finally mumble.
"Someone?" He continues rubbing the spot gently until he presses down on it with his thumb. He doesn't press down too hard, but it's with enough force to have you hissing slightly.
"It's from Jimin," you finally say. He doesn't say anything but raise an eyebrow at your reply. You don't know if he already knows that you and Jimin have slept together. He doesn't look so surprised, or maybe he is and he's just really good at schooling his expressions.
He makes eye contact with you again and you feel his hand going to the back of your head, grabbing a handful of your hair to press your lips against his. The kiss feels urgent and rushed, his tongue instantly slipping in your mouth and tangling with yours. You're on top of him yet you feel defenseless as he holds you by your hair and kisses you hard. You let Jungkook do as he pleases and forget about the little conversation you just had. You start grinding on his cock again and he reciprocates this time, hips moving against yours.
Before you know it, he rolls you over and pins your arms above your head. You stare at him with wide eyes and he smirks at you in return. He holds your wrists with one hand and takes off your shorts and underwear with the other. He's fully dressed while you're not and you know you're at his mercy. He knows this too as he spreads your thighs apart with his hand.
"Keep your hands there," he whispers. You hold your bed frame for good measure. You just want to please him. He trails kisses down your body, from your neck to your nipples to your tummy. He stops by your thighs and you feel his breath against your skin. You squirm beneath Jungkook to get him to do something, to touch you and pleasure you. He shakes his head, still with that damn smirk on his face. He starts kissing your thighs, close to your pussy just to tease you.
"Didn't know you and Jimin have a thing going on," he says against your skin. You shiver at the vibrations his voice provides.
You feel Jungkook bite down on your inner thighs. "We don't," you choke out. He scoffs and starts kissing your pussy. Just light kisses that start making you crazy because you just want his mouth on you. "We're just friends," you say weakly.
He looks up from where he's laying between your legs. "Like us?"
Us.
You know what he means but at the same time you don't. You're friends with Jimin like you're friends with Jungkook. But you don't long for Jimin like you do for Jungkook. You don't yearn for Jimin the same way, don't look for him in every place you're at, don't pine for his affection or his touches. Jimin isn't like Jungkook and you both know that. You just don't know if you're different from the other girls Jungkook fucks.
"No," you say truthfully. It's said with defeat and desperation because you know he's not going to touch you till you answer him. "Not like us."
You know Jungkook won't pry anymore because he finally starts licking your pussy, starting with your outer lips until his tongue is inside your hole licking every crevice. Then he starts sucking your clit and that's when you truly lose it, legs going around his head to keep him against your cunt.
"Fuck," you almost scream. You're so close already that you should feel embarrassed but you're not. Jungkook knows your body too well. No one holds a candle to how good he eats you out. "Please," you whimper.
"Please what, sweetheart?"
"Please make me come!" you beg. "Need it, need it so much." You starting grinding your hips against his mouth.
"You're so desperate," he chuckles. It's said meanly but the comment flies over your head. You don't care anymore; you just want some sort of release. "But not yet."
You suddenly feel cold because Jungkook removes his mouth from you, standing up and getting out of the bed to remove his clothing. You continue holding the bed frame above you because you want to be good for him. You watch him strip his clothes off till he's naked just like you, tattooed hand wrapping around his cock.
It's long and thick and it splits you open every time he fucks you. You really don't know how you manage to take him every time.
Jungkook is so mean and unfair with the way he's teasing you right now, pleasuring himself while you lay on the bed. You're about to open your mouth to complain when he finally nods his head, motioning you to get up. "Kneel. Hands behind your back, okay?"
You nod your head and get in position on the bed, head tilting up to look at his cock. It's so hard and the tip is already leaking. You just want your mouth around him.
"Open," he says.
You open your mouth and stick your tongue out, just the way Jungkook likes. As expected, he spits directly into your mouth and you swallow right away.
"Good girl. Now suck."
He brings his cock to your lips and you immediately start sucking. You push your length all the way in till you feel him at the back of your throat.
"Gotta take all of me in, pretty. Or else I won't fuck your little pussy."
You know Jungkook takes his threats seriously so you back up a little to catch your breath before taking him in your mouth again. God, he's so big and thick your jaw is already starting to feel sore. But you power through and keep taking him in your mouth until your nose touches his tummy. You try not to gag around him but it's no use. You also feels your eyes tearing up.
Jungkook doesn't care you're struggling. In fact, he loves it because he's got that stupidly handsome smile on his face. He strokes your cheeks for a while and you try to even out your breathing.
"I wanna fuck your throat, sweetheart. Can you take it?" he asks sweetly.
You know it's a rhetorical question but you nod anyways, as much as you could with a dick down your throat.
"Let me in then."
You close your eyes and relax your throat even more. Jungkook holds your head then and pushes you towards him even deeper. You're helpless since your hands are behind your back. You gag again and start feeling lightheaded.
"There we go," he finally says once his whole length is in your mouth. You feel the tip down your throat. You're struggling so much but you try not to move. You just want to please him. "Gonna move now," he mumbles and starts moving his hips. You let him fuck your throat for God knows how long. You're full on crying when he stops and withdraws his length halfway out your mouth. You take the time to gasp for air and you even cough a little, head bowing down to regain your breathing. You faintly hear Jungkook laugh above you.
"I'm not yet done, love. Was just feeling nice enough to give you a little breather."
You nod your head and look up at him, mouth opening wide to let him know you're ready again.
"You just let me do whatever I want, huh?" he chuckles. You're not sure if he means something else but to you it does. You willingly let Jungkook do anything to you. Even if it results in heartbreak.
He stares at you for a while and spreads the spit and precum that's on your lips. "So messy." Then he's back to inserting his length inside your mouth. The glide is smoother this time since you're already prepped. "There we go," he groans out. He stays still and feels the imprint of his dick on your throat. "Look so pretty for me."
Jungkook starts moving again but thankfully his pace is slow this time. You're sure you'll have a sore throat by tomorrow.
"Keep your eyes open, okay? Wanna see you cry."
You look at him while he's fucking your mouth, looking at the way his cock moves in your throat. You're starting to lose your breath and you think Jungkook could tell as well because he grants you reprieve and steps back. You're coughing more this time, hands catching yourself in front of you. You barely get enough time to regain your breathing before you feel Jungkook grabbing your head and bringing your lips to his.
"Did so good for me," he says against your mouth.
You're trembling in his hold and you grab his arms to steady yourself. "Fuck me please," you try to say but your voice comes out hoarse and ragged.
He kisses your cheek and then your jaw. "I will, don't worry," he coos. "Always gonna give you what you want." Another lie. You know that's not true.
You're putty in his hands as he maneuvers you to the position he wants to fuck you in, which is on your hands and knees with your ass high in the air.
"Just like that," he whispers. He pushes down on your shoulders even more so that you're wide and open for him. He starts rubbing your pussy and you can't help but moan out loud. "You're so wet, sweetheart. All from sucking my cock?"
You nod wordlessly from your position on the bed. "Jungkook!" you scream as he plunges two fingers in your pussy. He's ruthless as he fucks his fingers fast and hard, hitting your g-spot right away. "Please," you cry out. You're so wound up and tense and you just want to come already but he won't let you.
You hear Jungkook chuckle from behind you. "Still so tight, baby. Thought Jimin stretched you out already." You're about to reply but you feel his thumb press against your rim and your senses go haywire, mind going blank because you're so overwhelmed.
"Please, please," you beg quietly. You're crying again and you'd do anything at this point to get Jungkook to fuck you. He withdraws his fingers from your holes and you hear the crinkling of plastic behind you. You turn your head slightly to see him slipping a condom on. Jungkook has never fucked you raw and you never asked why because you already know the answer. You'll get hurt hearing the truth anyway.
He holds your hips to steady you. He rubs the head of his cock up and down your folds. "You want this?" he asks roughly.
"Yes. Please."
Finally, finally, Jungkook pushes his cock in your pussy. It doesn't take long because you're so wet he slides right in to the hilt.
"You feel so good around me." He stills for a moment and you grab your ass to spread your cheeks even more.
"Please move, Kook."
You hear him groan. "God, baby, you're filthy." He starts fucking into you and your mind goes blank. You feel his thick cock slide in and out, the tip already kissing your cervix.
"Feels so good," you mumble incoherently. Jungkook fucks you quick and hard, holding your hips so tightly you know it's going to bruise. You feel his balls slap against your clit which adds even more pleasure. You feel yourself getting close again and arch your back.
"Can I please come?" you ask through your moans. "Please let me come, Jungkook. Please—"
"Come," he finally says. It's the only word you need to hear before you let go, that coil in you snapping and bringing pleasure all over your body. You don't know you're moaning so loudly you're almost screaming. You feel your pussy just gush and it gets so wet and sticky you're surprised Jungkook doesn't slip out. It's so filthy that you hear squelching noises as well. Your orgasm goes on for so long you don't know how you're still holding yourself up.
"You creamed my cock so much, baby," Jungkook says. He slows down his pace but he's still moving so you can ride out your high. "Got me wet and even your sheets."
You barely hear him and there's just a buzzing sound around your head. Your body feels so heavy and you just want to collapse but you arch your back even more for Jungkook.
He laughs. "Think I fucked you stupid." He increases his pace again and you just kneel there and take it. "Gonna make me fucking come," he growls as his hips snap against yours. "Fuck." He fucks you some more and you groan every time he hits your g-spot.
Suddenly, he pulls out so fast. "Don't move," he groans. You stay in place and watch him remove the condom off, hand going to stroke his cock as he brings himself to his release. You feel his come on you, right on your pussy and asshole. "Fuck, baby," he groans. You feel even stickier with his load on you. Then he bends down to kiss your neck, and then your cheek, and then a gentle one on your lips.
"You okay?" he asks quietly. His arm goes to wrap around your waist and you slowly start sinking onto the bed.
"Mhm," you mumble and try to keep your emotions at bay. You always feel so overwhelmed after sex with Jungkook. You let a few tears fall down your cheeks but it's the kind of tears of relief from an intense orgasm.
Jungkook presses his front against your back, not caring that his come is still on you. He starts kissing your face again then rubs his nose up and down your throat. "Just breathe, yeah?" he says quietly. You nod weakly against his hold and do just that. The both of you say nothing as you try to calm your racing heart.
You don't know how many minutes pass by until Jungkook stands up. You don't have the strength in you to move your position on the bed or ask where he's going. A few minutes later you feel a wet rag on your back. You let Jungkook clean you up while the both of you still don't say a thing. Then he's moving you on the bed again so your head is on the pillows and he's right behind you, lying down comfortably to be the big spoon. You feel him kissing your head.
"Sleep," he mumbles against your hair. With Jungkook holding you and with his steady breaths guiding yours, you fall asleep right away.
..••°°°°••..°°••....••°°..••°°°°••..
You don't know what time it is when you wake up but there's still sunlight peeking through your curtains so you suppose it's still morning. You turn to face the other side of the bed only to find it empty. You don't know what time Jungkook left, if he stayed the night or left the moment you fell asleep. You're used to it already but it doesn't mean you're not hurt. Your heart constricts at the empty space beside you. You move again to lay on your back and cover your face with yours hands, letting out shaky breaths while trying not to breakdown. God, maybe Jimin was right. Just forget about him.
But it's hard not to. It's hard to forget about him when you have sex constantly, when his touches are gentle but also rough. When he wants you to reply to his messages and when he wants you against his body. It's hard because he's friends with your friends. It's hard when he takes care of you after every intense orgasm. It's hard when he makes it seem like he wants you just as much as you want him.
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vanteguccir · 1 year ago
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── ୨୧ ! 𝗟𝗘𝗧'𝗦 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗘𝗦
        𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N feels pain in her feet from wearing high heels for hours, and Matt gives her his sneakers to wear.
WARNING: None.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
From an outsider's perspective, the dynamics of the relationship between Y/N and Matt were incredible and unique. The two had their hearts overflowing with love, and they were not ashamed to show it.
Nick joked that the five love languages ​​were few compared to all the ways they loved each other.
But it was safe to say that out of the five, the one that was most part of their daily lives was the language of acts of service, precisely because of their busy schedules and daily tasks.
Matt would do absolutely anything to make his girlfriend's day easier, from turning on the coffee maker in the morning while she took her sacred morning shower, to combing and drying her hair after she washed it. He is always watching her from afar, making little mental notes of new things she does, so he learns and fits them into his routine so that he can help her in the future.
And Y/N isn't far behind, knowing how heavy the routine of recording three times a week can be - sometimes more, when the triplets need to catch up on some podcasts or car videos -, she always comes forward to help his day get lighter, from starting the car in the garage on cold days so the engine is ready when Matt gets in it, to helping him shower after a tiring day, washing his hair with his favorite shampoo while watching him nap in the warm water of the bathtub.
It was Thursday, and Matt and Y/N were leaving yet another weekly date night.
Matt and Y/N had created a habit almost a year back that, every Thursday after the triplets recorded the car video that would be posted the next day, they would have a date night, with the aim of always dedicating quality time together and cultivate a healthy relationship.
Y/N mentally cursed herself for her choice of shoes that night, having opted for high heels.
Don't get me wrong, the girl loved wearing heels and always felt prettier in them; Besides Matt, who was completely in love with the way his girlfriend's legs looked in heels, he said that they looked longer and more appealing, leaving him drooling and staring more than usual.
But if there's one thing they both knew, it was that when Y/N wore high heels for long hours, she always ended up with pain in her feet.
And that was exactly what was happening at that moment, the girl had been wearing those heels on her feet for about three hours and her toes were starting to hurt, squeezed by the front strap, while her heel screamed with every step she took.
It didn't take Matt long to notice her face contorted in pain and how she squeezed his hand - which was intertwined with her own - with every step they took.
The two were walking through the streets of the restaurant where they had dinner, observing the various restaurants and bars open, full of people of all types and music of all tastes, while chatting a bit about their day. This meant they were far from the car, and it would be at least a 10-minute walk to get back to it.
Therefore, Matt abruptly stopped in his tracks as they approached a wooden bench, followed by Y/N, who watched him with a confused expression.
"What is it, baby?" She asked worriedly, traveling her eyes down the street briefly, trying to find what could have made her boyfriend stop so suddenly.
Matt knelt on the sidewalk and removed his sneakers from both his feet, keeping his socks on.
"What the hell are you doing? Are you crazy?" The girl looked down at him, watching him with a frown.
"Sit here, baby. Please." Matt asked, standing up on his socks and pointing to the bench, taking Y/N's right hand and helping her sit down on the wooden surface. "Give me your foot." He kneeled on the ground, placing his sneakers near her feet and reaching his hands towards his girlfriend's right foot.
"What? Why?" She asked, eyes wide, feeling cimpletely lost, bending her body slightly forward so that she brought her face closer to his, a sound of pain escaping her lips from the movement.
"You're in pain, my love. Come on, give me your foot. I'll give you my sneakers." Matt explains, touching Y/N's right ankle and pulling lightly.
He raised his blue eyes, looking into his girl's eyes, staring at her so that she understood that he wasn't open for arguments.
Y/N sighed before resting her left hand on the cold and hard surface, lifting her right ankle so that her foot was off the ground. Matt unfastened the buckle on her high heel, leaving it on the sidewalk on his side before reaching for his right sneaker, fitting it onto Y/N's foot with ease.
He untied the shoelaces and tied them again so that they were firmer, knowing that they were bigger than Y/N's feet and could escape with her steps.
The girl kept her eyes on Matt the entire time, feeling her heart speed up more and more and her skin heat up, taking on a reddish tone. She didn't deserve him. He was so kind to her.
Matt carefully lowered the foot he was holding, waiting for her to steady it on the ground before taking her left ankle, doing the same process as before.
When Y/N had both feet inside Matt's white sneakers, the boy adjusted his posture, still crouched, so that he could fit his feet one at a time into the high heels, leaving them unbuckled due to the difference in size, knowing that if he closed it, he could ruin them.
Matt slowly stood up, regaining his balance on the pair of heels that he wasn't used to wearing before intertwining his left hand with Y/N's right, helping her stand up. He briefly adjusted the strap of the black sparkly purse on his left shoulder.
"I can't believe you're doing this." The girl commented as the two walked back to the car, a laugh escaping her throat as she shook her head, watching the wobbly steps her boyfriend took.
"I won't let my princess feel pain. And I didn't want to get dirt on my socks from this sidewalk. Our washing machine thanks us for that." Matt responded with a smile on his face, watching his girlfriend's reaction from the corner of his eye, keeping his focus on his steps in order not to fall.
"I love you, Matt." Y/N squeezed his hand lightly, massaging the soft skin with her thumb.
"I love you more, my love." The boy responded quickly, returning the squeeze.
He let go of his girlfriend's hand as they reached his car, opening the purse on his shoulder and looking for the key, before unlocking the doors, opening the passenger seat for his girlfriend.
Y/N smiled in gratitude, approaching Matt and sealing her lips over his cheek chilled by the cold of the night, stroking the soft skin with the tip of her nose before taking a step away, finally getting into the car.
She felt her heart warm with love while observing him walk around the front of the car with slow steps. She knew that there was nothing in the world he wouldn't do to make her happy and comfortable.
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taglist:
@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore
(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)
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lilasamaaa · 9 months ago
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A lapse in judgement | Carlos Sainz x Reader
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Genre | Angst (of course), Hurt/Comfort, Fluff.
Word count | 3.8K
Warnings | Mention of sexual activities, rejection.
Summary | The long-awaited dinner with your in-laws doesn't go as planned... Will you and your boyfriend manage to change their minds about your relationship?
Author's note | I'm back, bitches! This lovely prompt was requested, thank you for the idea Anon! I hope you all like it, please let me know what you think! ✨ (not proofread lmao)
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Being the new girlfriend after the one who got away fucking sucks. Even when your lover was the one to end things. It's quite something to be the girl after the one he was supposed to spend his life with. Get married with. Have kids with. You wouldn't wish anyone to be in your place. Yet, here you are, all because you fell in love with him. Carlos Sainz. Him and his doe eyes. His impeccable hair. His charming smile. Frankly, you didn't stand a chance.
You knew who he was, of course. Formula 1 is among your fondest childhood memories, sitting in front of the TV with your siblings and parents. Each Grand Prix was a household event, and you could never bring yourself to part with the Ferrari-colored jacket you wore every race Sunday. It's been years since you've fit into it, but the memory is too precious. So, yes, you knew who he was. And you recognized him immediately when he walked through the door of your workplace, sunglasses perched on his nose.
You don't follow Formula 1 as closely as before. Just enough to keep up with the news. You don't pretend not to know who he is. What's the point in pretending?
"Back from Monza already?" you ask, wiping your hands on a clean towel.
He smiles. A polite smile, but one that seems to indicate he's not keen on chatting. Or at least, not about that. You ask him what he'd like, and he asks for anything with soy milk in it. He orders two, to go, and you smile again. Okay, you think. Understood. The exchange lasts no more than two minutes, and soon, the driver exits the coffee shop, leaving behind a lingering woody scent.
Weeks pass without crossing paths with him again, and honestly, the encounter has completely slipped your mind. That one early morning, though, you're sitting at one of the café tables, contemplating new drinks, new recipes to implement based on some customer feedback, when the little bell chimes behind you. You definitely need to stop leaving the door open to let the floor dry after your morning cleaning session.
You turn around, ready to inform the friendly customer that the café doesn't open for another twenty minutes, when you catch his gaze.
"I know you're not open yet," he starts, putting both hands in front of him. "I saw the sign. But I really need some coffee, and all the other shops are closed."
"I suppose I can make an exception for such an emergency," you say as you rise from your seat, smiling kindly at him. "What can I get you?"
"I don't remember the name of what you made for me last time, but it was incredible. There was..."
"Soy milk?"
"Yeah."
"I'm on it," you say, turning around. "Two?" you ask, feeling like you already know the answer.
"Yes, please."
You hurry behind the bar, preparing the two coffees, and you place them in front of him a few seconds later. He takes out his phone to pay and places it on the terminal, which emits a soft "beep." Then, he picks up one of the coffees before sliding the second one towards you.
"This one's for you," he says, and you barely manage to hide your surprise.
"Oh," you say. "If I had known, I wouldn't have charged you for the second one."
"But it wouldn't have been the same, then. I wouldn't have offered it to you," the driver says, winking at you before taking a step back. "Thank you so much for the favor. Have a good day!"
With that, he's gone. As you sip your hot coffee slowly, you wonder when you'll see him again next time. But already, your employees arrive and pull you from your thoughts.
"That guy outside kinda looked like Carlos Sainz, no?" Lucia, one of them, asks while tying her apron.
"You've seen him? I thought so, too," you reply with a smile.
The next time you see him is the exact opposite. You've just bid your last employee a good evening, and you're putting the chairs up on the tables in preparation for the morning cleanup. A knock on the storefront makes you look up, and you smile when you see him. You open the door, and he slips inside, slightly damp from the light rain falling outside.
"Have you ever heard of opening hours?" you ask while wiping down the countertop.
"Can't say I have," he replies with a grin, the sight making your stomach flutter.
"I think congratulations are in order," you begin, throwing the towel over your shoulder. "That was a clean win in Singapore."
"Thank you. It might be a bit late for a coffee, but would you like to grab a drink with me?"
The proposition takes you by surprise.
"Like? Right now?"
"Yeah. Right now. I know a place not far from here."
"Aren't you afraid of being seen or something?" you ask, arching a brow.
"Never with beautiful women, no."
You chuckle, rolling your eyes. You've been living in Spain for ten years, yet you don't think you'll ever get used to the natural flirty nature of its inhabitants.
"Give me ten minutes to change and close up, and I'll join you," you say, while he nods, sitting on one of the bar stools.
Carlos takes you to a dancing bar, obviously run by friends since he spends five minutes shaking hands and greeting everyone as you enter. He leads you to the back of the bar, to a secluded corner where the music is much quieter, and you can actually have a conversation. You have no idea what to say. Where do you even start with a Formula 1 driver? Someone whose life is so different, so far removed from yours. Sensing your discomfort, Carlos takes the lead, asking you questions about your café, (Did you open it by yourself?) and about your life. (Where are you from? You have an accent).
The evening passes, and the drinks flow until you find yourselves tightly pressed together on the dance floor. Your back against his chest. His hands on your hips. Yours on his neck. Swaying to the rhythm of the music, all senses heightened. His lips don't take long to seek yours, and from the wall of the bar against which he pins you, you transition to his mattress, his warm body pressed against yours.
You don't sleep much that night. You don't know if you'll ever have the chance to see him again. To have him like that again. So, you lavish your lips on his, your body against his. And in the early morning, as you wake up entangled in each other's arms, and you almost expect him to kick you out... He climbs back on top of you instead, pressing warm kisses against your mouth, your collarbones, your navel... You arrive at the café thirty minutes late, with bags under your eyes. It's never happened before, and your employees are so surprised that none of them even think to joke about your poor state.
You don't hear a word from him for the next ten days. Occasionally, you glance at the app you downloaded, which informs you about upcoming races. You know he's in Qatar. You try not to let the little voice in your head win. The one that laughs at you. That tells you that you'll never see him again. He's working, you think. He's busy. Your life goes on, though you can't help but watch for him early in the morning and late at night, your eyes lingering on the storefront.
Then, one day, he comes back. Right in the middle of the shift. Seeing him walk into the café, Lucia lets out a scream and drops the cup she was holding. "Dios mio," she says, clutching her heart. Several seated customers turn around, but nobody seems to pay attention to the tall brunette with caramel eyes whose gaze is fixated on you, from across the counter.
"Soy milk?" you ask, trying to contain your smile.
"Yes, please. Only one."
And then, he starts coming every day. Every day he's not on the other side of the world, that is. By his seventh visit, Lucia can almost serve him his coffee without spilling any, her hands shaking so much.
Outside of the café, the two of you slowly start going to museums. To restaurants. To the cinema. But there's one place you both prefer. His bed. You spend hours there, exploring each other's bodies or talking about everything and nothing. Exchanging thousands of kisses or sharing your worst childhood embarrassments. Moaning against each other or talking about your very first pet. And one evening, as you were recounting how your respective parents had met, he asks you the question.
"Speaking of that, would you like to meet them?"
Your heart skips a beat. It's been six months since you've been seeing each other. Since you've been exclusive. Since you've been a couple, in reality, even if neither of you has dared to say the word. That one, and the other. The one that starts with an L. Even though you know you do... And you sense he does too.
"I don't know," you say, resting your head against his bare chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "Have you talked to your family about us?"
"Of course," Carlos says, pressing a kiss to your head. "They know I've been seing someone. And they know it's serious."
"Do they even want to meet me?"
"They haven't asked, if that's your question," your boyfriend replies. "But they never have, with anyone. They know it's something I like to do at my own pace."
You nod, and a few minutes later, the fateful dinner is set for the following Saturday. Already, the ball of anxiety that has lodged itself in your stomach grows. And soon enough, you find yourself standing in front of the door of the imposing Sainz mansion, your throat tight and your hand sweaty in Carlos'.
"Relax," the driver says, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before stroking your thumb. "They're not that bad."
Carlos knocks on the door, and a young woman opens it before jumping into your boyfriend's arms. You recognize her instantly from the pictures in Carlos' phone. Blanca. As if pronouncing her name in your head had reminded her of your existence, Blanca turns her head, smiling politely in your direction.
"Nice to meet you," she says rather blankly before gesturing for you two to come inside.
You encounter his other sister, Ana, in the hallway a few seconds later. She isn't much warmer, not even offering a smile and simply saying "Welcome" before rushing to hug her brother. The reception from the two women surprises you a little, and doesn't really help you feel confident about the evening. Carlos doesn't seem phased by the situation, helping you out of your coat before guiding you to the living room where the two young women have already disappeared. You're about to walk through the door when your eyes stop on a series of frames hung across from the front door. Your heart skips a beat. Feeling you come to a halt, Carlos stops as well, following your gaze.
"Fucking hell," your boyfriend says before taking the frame off the wall and placing it upside down on the buffet below. "I'm sorry. This photo has been there for so long that they probably don't even notice it anymore," he adds, his tone apologetic.
You know he's trying to reassure you, but his words have the opposite effect. You've briefly talked about your exes. Well, more about his. Isa. The girl he was with for seven fucking years. The one his parents loved so much. Seeing a photo of them together right before meeting your in-laws is like a knife to the heart. A reminder that you're the new girl. The one replacing her. You muster a smile that you know is fake at Carlos before continuing on your way. As you arrive in the living room, his two parents stand up from the couch, rushing to their son to hug him.
The embraces last a few seconds, until they turn to you. You greet them politely, handing his mother a huge bouquet of flowers and his father a bottle of fine wine, as they thank you with strained smiles.
"I also brought chocolates from my shop for you," you continue, turning to his sisters sitting at the dining table. "They're from a small producer in Andalusia, a real treat..."
"How kind of you," Blanca says dryly.
You miss the glance that Carlos shoots his sister, behind you. A stern look. One that scream "be careful". One Blanca pretends not to see.
"Let's sit down," Carlos' mother announces, gesturing for everyone to take a seat.
Intimidated, you stick close to Carlos, sitting next to him. The table is beautiful, adorned with fine porcelain and various flowers. You smile as you spot silver napkin rings and pick up the one in front of you. Your next breath gets caught in your throat when your eyes land on the letters engraved in the metal. Isabel.
"Ah yes, sorry," Ana begins, following your gaze. "We didn't have time to make a new one. I hope you don't mind."
"It's fine," you say, looking up and smiling at her.
"So, dear, what do you do?" Carlos' father asks. "Carlos told us about a café, but we didn't quite understand."
"I opened my own café a few years ago. We also serve fresh pastries that I bake every morning. It's really taking off; I have several employees now, and I'm planning to open a second one soon..."
"Did you study culinary arts?" her mother asks.
"Uh, no, I don't have any degree," you reply with a nervous laugh. "School just wasn't my thing."
Ana and Blanca exchange a glance, and you lower your head, feeling your cheeks flush. You feel Carlos' hand on your thigh, and you cast him a grateful glance, which he doesn't see, his eyes fixed on his sisters.
"And so, the two of you met at the café, is that right?" his father resumes.
"Yes, that's right," you reply with a smile. "In May, the first time."
"In May?" Ana asks, looking at her brother. "Weren't you still with Isa?"
"Are we gonna mention her all night?" Carlos snaps.
"It's just a question, no need to get upset," Ana replies, rolling her eyes.
"Did you know who he was?" Blanca asks, holding your gaze.
"Uh, yeah, I recognized him. But I served him like any other customer," you recount.
"It must be weird," Ana continues, as your attention turns from her sister to her. "To see a celebrity walk into your little café."
"It's actually not so little," Carlos says. "It's pretty well-known in Madrid. Lots of customers."
"Never been," Blanca says curtly.
Carlos's mother gestures for her daughters to follow her, and the three women disappear in the kitchen before returning a few minutes later with their hands full of various dishes.
"Carlos told us you love to eat," his mother continues, giving you a genuine smile. "It's good that he didn't choose a very slender girl, for once," she adds, as you tilt your head. Was that supposed to be a compliment?
"What are your plans after the café?" Carlos' father asks, chewing on a piece of chicken. "Now that this first project has worked out?"
"I beg your pardon?" you ask, genuinely confused.
"What are you going to do with your life now?" Ana asks.
"Well... I'm going to keep running the café? It's my sanctuary, my biggest project. I'm so proud of it, I'm not going to give it all up now."
"Oh," his father replies, eyeing you. "I'd understood it was temporary. That you were a kind of investor."
"No," you reply, feeling your cheeks heat up again. "That's... That's what I do."
The silence falls over the table, punctuated by the clinking of utensils. After a short while, Carlos's mother clears her throat, meeting your gaze.
"Forgive our questions. We're curious to get to know the person Carlos shares his life with. You have to understand, after seven years... You always know what you've lost, but you can never know what you've gained."
"And that was quite a loss," Blanca chimes in, sipping on her wine.
"You can't trust anyone these days. You never know if they love you for you or for your wallet," Ana states, looking at her perfectly manicured nails.
"Or your contact list," Blanca adds, shooting a glance your way.
"Okay," Carlos suddenly says, throwing his napkin on the table before getting up. "That's enough. We're leaving."
"What?" you say, looking up at him.
"They're clearly not ready for this. We'll come back when they finally understand that my ex is just that - my ex. Get your things, love."
You stand up, feeling your legs tremble, as Carlos' hand find the small of your back, pushing you towards the hallway.
"Don't be ridiculous," his mother says, standing up as well. "You can't expect us to forget seven years just like that."
"I'm not asking you to forget. I'm asking you to respect my partner. But apparently, that's too difficult."
A few seconds later, Carlos is backing out of his parents' driveway, one arm around your seat, his gaze fixed on the rear window. In the passenger seat, you fidget with your fingers, staring at your hands and biting your lip nervously. His brows are furrowed. Jaw clenched. None of you exchange a word until you hit the main road, headlights from passing cars casting shadows on your faces.
"I'm so sorry," he finally says, stroking your thigh. "If I had known..."
"You couldn't," you reply, placing your hand on his. "I don't blame them. Seven years is no small thing."
Turning his head, his gaze meets yours.
"I won't pretend that those seven years didn't matter to me, that they meant nothing. Even though I don't have any romantic feelings for her anymore, she will always be a part of me in some way," he says, as you feel your heart tighten in your chest. "But she no longer occupies my thoughts. She's no longer imprinted under my eyelids. It's not her fingers that give me chills, her voice that makes my heart race. All day long, I think about you. I talk about you. Even at night, I dream of you. You're right beside me, so close, and yet it's not enough. You still find a way to get closer, to flow through my veins, to infiltrate every breath, every heartbeat."
"Sometimes I wish I could see myself through your eyes. That girl sounds exceptional," you say, laughing as you wipe the tears from the corners of your eyes."
"She's quite something," he replies, eyes on the road. "I can't wait for them to realize."
After the disastrous first encounter with your in-laws, over six months pass before Carlos comes join you on the terrace of your shared hotel room in Jeddah, placing a coffee in front of you. Bending down to sit beside you, the pilot winces, a hand on his stomach.
"Are you okay?" you ask, running your hand through his hair.
"I feel so fucking sick," your boyfriend says, a painful grimace on his face.
"Shouldn't you see a doctor, babe?" you ask, stroking his arm. "You look awfully pale. And you haven't eaten since yesterday morning."
"I can't keep anything down," Carlos replies, throwing his head back before closing his eyes.
"Carlos Sainz Vázquez de Castro," you start, earning a small grin from your boyfriend.
"I just love when you call me that."
"There's no way you're getting in that car tomorrow," you insist.
You didn't think you'd be so right. Well, not to this extent. Hurrying through the corridors of the hospital, two large aluminum trays in each hand, you dodge doctors and nurses along the way, weaving through visitors until you reach the door marked with the number you're looking for. You knock on the door, slipping inside before turning around to close it behind you.
"I wasn't sure what you'd prefer, so I got both," you begin, still facing the door, handle in hand. "The paella was quite easy to find, but I admit I had to cross the entire city for..." your sentence dies in your throat when, turning around, your eyes meet those of your mother-in-law. Then your father-in-law's. And your two sisters-in-law, crowded in Carlos' small hospital room.
"Oh," you utter, eyes wide. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know you'd be there. I'll leave you alone," you start, turning around once again.
"No! Stay," Carlos' mother says, rising to take the trays from you.
"We're really happy to see you again," his father says, rising as well to embrace you. "Carlos was telling us how well you took care of him. Thank you so much for being there."
"That's the least I could do," you reply, feeling intimidated. "He would have done the same for me."
"I may love you, but I'm not sure I would have slept in that armchair. Or changed your blood-soaked bandage," Carlos replies, eyes half-closed, still under the influence of anesthesia.
"You did what?" Blanca asks, turning to look at you, eyes wide.
"Well, his nurse was busy and it started leaking," you shrug.
"You slept here?" his father asks.
"They wouldn't let me at first, but I didn't feel like leaving him alone in a foreign hospital."
"She annoyed the staff so much they just gave up on throwing her out," your boyfriend lets out in a laugh.
"I didn't annoy anybody," you reply quickly, fearing what his family might think.
"You threatened an intern to tie yourself to the chair."
"I didn't do that," you half-laugh, shooting your boyfriend a warning look.
Seated on the side of Carlos' bed, bickering with your boyfriend while running your hand through his hair in a loving gesture, you don't see the glance exchanged between the Sainz family.
"We were thinking about something, before you arrived..." Ana begins, her eyes finding yours. For the first time, you're not met with her harsh, cold gaze, but with gentle eyes. "We have a family house in Mallorca. We thought it would be nice to all go there together, so Carlos can recover in peace. We would be very happy if you joined us."
"It'll be a chance for us to get to know you. And to apologize for our pathetic behavior last time."
"Carlos chose you," his mother starts, smiling warmly at you. "And we all understand why."
You could cry with happiness at the thought of finally being accepted, being welcomed into the family of the person you've shared your life with for almost a year now. At no longer being the new girl. The one after the love of his life.
At the though of maybe, simply being the one.
The real one, this time.
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severeturttism · 3 months ago
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[SFW] rottmnt! leonardo | hurt w/ comfort - post rise movie.
'you save everyone, but who saves you?'
Leo knew something was off with you and his brothers. It was easy to spot the collective whisper-y gatherings he wasn't invited to, or the way everyone seemed to hover a little closer than normal.
He didn't know how to feel about it all.
Your behaviours, above all else, had him the most worried - ever since the Kraang invasion, and subsequent stopping of said Kraang invasion, you always had this far away look in your eyes that he couldn't quite place.
The red-eared slider turtle had, in fact, pestered his twin about the matter; insisting you needed a check up. Donnie had refused, adamantly and confidently, every time he was asked - stating there was nothing wrong with you. So the soft-shell must've known what was actually going on behind your glazed eyes.
He had noticed that Mikey seemed particular about your meals; making sure you always had your favourite dish, and, without fail, giving you a friendly pat on the head. So the box-turtle must've known what was going on behind your less-than-enthusiastic demeanour.
And then there was Raph who, despite his insistence on never sharing any of his cuddly stuffed toys with anyone, had given you several (several of which Leo knows he would've been chased around the lair for, had he stolen them). So the snapper must've known what was going on behind those occasional tremors your hands would have.
He was curious - but you were his partner, and until you were ready to tell him what was plaguing your mind... it was none of his business.
| ONE WEEK LATER | The turtles had been cleared for missions and, to no ones surprise, they had come back in pretty bad shape - it had been nearly three months since the Kraang invasion, and since their last fight, so it was bound to occur. That was what Leo convinced himself.
Until he saw you. Maybe it was then he realised the weight of his actions, now and three months ago.
The way your hands shook involuntarily as you looked him over, your brow furrowed with such contained anger, yet tears welled in your eyes in a way he hadn't seen since Mikey had pulled him through that portal. Guilt welled in his stomach as his hand grasped yours, and watched as you broke in front of him.
That was an hour ago, and now, he laid with you in his bed after promising his brothers that he had it handled - protectively curled around you, with your forehead rested against his plastron, listening intently to your soft sniffles, whispering affirmations in your ear the more you calmed and rubbing soothing circles into your back.
"I'm," he paused rubbing circles at the sound of your hoarse voice "sorry... It was just," you took a deep, shuddering breath "a lot to see - after everything that happened."
Leo hummed softly, understanding - and pressed a soft peck to the crown of your head "I know," he affirmed "I'm sorry." He stopped for a moment, letting out a gentle sigh "I'm not dismissing how it feels for you... but you know this will happen again, right? We've got people to save." Leo reasoned, almost not convinced himself.
He felt your breath hitch through the tenseness of your body "You can save everyone, but... but who saves you?" You let out a warbled sob, and Leo felt his entire world crash around him - sitting up suddenly and bringing you with him, cupping your cheeks in his hands as he tried to soothe the tears away.
"Mi amor," he began, his own eyes beginning to sting "you'll save me," he pressed his forehead to yours; eyes never leaving your own "my brothers will save me," he continued "I have my family."
Leo brought you in close to his plastron again, tightly - he was here. "I love you, I'm sorry," he felt himself croak out, burying his face into your shoulder "I'm sorry."
"I love you too," you whimpered out - basking in his touch "I'll save you." You repeated like a mantra, seemingly to convince yourself more than him.
"You'll save me." Leo reassured.
Physical wounds healed easily enough, but the emotional scars would last a lifetime - somehow, though, Leo thinks things will be alright.
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bellaxgiornata · 10 months ago
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All These Years [Part 21: "The Sound of Your Voice"]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.7k [Series Masterlist]
Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut [Comfort now exists in this series!!]
a/n: It has be SO LONG since this series got a much needed update!! But here we are with yet another little bittersweet installment. Though I'm working on a happier next part already tentatively titled "Declarations and Desire." And hopefully the tags at the bottom of the post worked, tumblr was giving me issues with the tag list for a few days. Feedback is always appreciated!
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Lowering yourself down onto your couch, your eyes focused on the show you'd thrown on to watch while you ate, you felt your tired body relax into the cushions. Adjusting the plate of food in your lap, you made yourself comfortable for the evening. 
You'd had a meeting at work which had run late with your boss tonight and that was the reason behind you sitting down to eat takeout for dinner at almost seven tonight. You were tired and ready to just relax for the evening, looking forward to the phone call later that you’d come to expect from Matt just before you went to bed. It was usually when he’d return from his night out as Daredevil, giving the three hour time difference between you both at least one positive advantage because it meant that you could go to bed at a reasonable hour and still know he’d gotten back home safe.
You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been difficult trying to navigate your new relationship with Matt ever since you’d come back from your brief visit to Hell’s Kitchen a month ago, though. The pair of you still talked everyday, whether it was via phone calls or texts periodically throughout the day. Matt had even begun leaving you sweet voicemails some mornings when he first got to work, knowing that shortly afterwards you’d be waking up on the other side of the country getting to hear his voice first thing. It always managed to make you smile starting off your day with one of those messages from him, and you’d quickly come to realize just how incredibly sweet and thoughtful he really was every time he left one. Which unfortunately also made you only miss him just that much more, desperate to be able to wake up beside him and hear him say all those things straight to you instead of over a voice message.
You’d also quickly come to realize that Karen had been right. You’d found yourself regretting not taking the opportunity to be more physically intimate with Matt while you’d been in New York and had the chance. You found yourself frequently thinking about Matt in sexual scenarios more often than not since you’d returned to L.A., which often resulted in you being quite sexually frustrated most of the time. His outright flirting with you over the phone hadn’t helped, either. Sometimes once you’d finished a phone call with him before bed, you’d found yourself needing a few minutes with your vibrator just to ease the ache he’d–sometimes intentionally–created between your legs. And often as you’d gotten off, you’d wondered if he was back in his own apartment in New York taking care of himself, too. And that thought only equally further frustrated you and turned you on more every time.
Without a doubt in your mind, when Matt came to visit you in Los Angeles in a matter of weeks, you were certainly not taking sex off of the table. Especially now that you both were officially a couple and with how many years you’d both been waiting for and wanting the other. Because who knew how soon you’d have another opportunity to see him again afterwards for that chance? You’d certainly spent enough years trying to imagine what it would be like to sleep with him, and you were without a doubt tired of only imagining it.
You also knew you wanted to tell him how you felt when you finally got the chance to see him in a few weeks. Of course the word ‘love’ had been mentioned between you both quite a few months ago when you'd first discovered your feelings had been reciprocated for each other, but neither of you had ever actually said it to the other since. Many times you'd found yourself biting your tongue when you were on the phone with Matt, struggling to not blurt it out to him. Often you found yourself overcome with the urge to tell him those three words at the end of a phone call, or to call him up after hearing one of his morning voicemails just so he knew exactly how you truly felt without a question of a doubt after the years of misunderstandings. But it was something you wanted to say to him in person when the moment felt right, not something you wanted to blurt out when he was too far for you to hold in your arms. Though you were dying to finally say it to his face after all these years, and you were even more anxious to hear him hopefully say it back to you in return.
As you were halfway through eating your sandwich wrap, your attention focused on the mindless show you’d thrown on, you heard your phone begin to loudly ring from across your apartment. Chewing the bite of food you'd just taken, you glanced over your shoulder towards your kitchen where you’d left your phone on the countertop once you’d gotten home. Curiously you eyed the device and its lit screen from a distance, wondering who would be calling you right now. Normally Matt didn’t call for another couple of hours; it should have been far too early for it to have been him. But then the fear that something might be wrong hit you and you quickly swallowed down the bite of food, feeling a little sick to your stomach at the thought. Especially with you being too far away to do anything to help.
Leaning forward, you set your plate down onto your coffee table and rose to your feet. You quickly made your way towards your kitchen, your phone still ringing loudly from its place on the countertop as nerves swirled in your stomach, mixing with your dinner. When you were near enough to your phone to see the name displayed on the screen, you were surprised to see it was in fact Matt calling you. Brows furrowing at the sight of his name, you felt worry and concern further fill you as your hand darted out, picking the phone up in a rush before frantically sliding the button over to answer the call.
“Matt?” you asked, feeling slightly panicked. “Is everything alright? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“What?” he asked, sounding confused. “Yeah, of course everything is okay, sweetheart. Why would you think something was wrong?”
You sighed in relief, the tension easing from your shoulders as you leaned back against the counter behind you. You didn’t even know what you’d do if he’d called because he was bleeding out in his apartment right now.
“Because it's a bit early for your usual phone call,” you pointed out. “Normally you’re out later than this so you call me later. I just figured something was wrong.”
“Ahh, I see,” he answered. “I’m sorry to have scared you, sweetheart. I didn’t think calling you early would have you thinking something was wrong. But I actually wasn’t planning to go out tonight, which was why I figured I’d call sooner.”
“Not going out as Daredevil?” you questioned curiously. “Because you have too much work to deal with?”
Matt laughed, the sound sweet and soothing as it came through the line. You couldn’t help but relax even more at the sound of it, a smile sliding onto your own face as your racing heart began to slow. You longed to hear him laugh in person again, to be able to actually see the way his eyes lit up when he did.
“If that was the case,” he began, “calling you would be a far bigger distraction than just running out as Daredevil for a bit tonight.”
That usual warmth you felt whenever you spoke to Matt soon flooded you, your body sinking down into one of the nearby breakfast bar stools behind you at your counter. Your dinner and the show you’d been watching were quickly forgotten in the other room as you focused on your conversation and the sound of his voice instead.
“How am I the bigger distraction?” you asked him.
“Well for starters, if there isn’t any crime, there’s no need for Daredevil,” Matt explained. “So if the city is quiet, which it thankfully is tonight, there isn’t much need for me and therefore there’s nothing for me to do. But you on the other hand are always there for me to call. And most importantly, sweetheart,” he continued, his voice dropping to that sultry register he often used to flirt with you over the phone–the one he somehow knew had an effect on you, “I could sit and listen to you on the other line doing literally anything, even just snoring, until the sun came up. Whereas eventually I have to come back home and be Matt Murdock again when I go out in the suit. Therefore you’re the bigger distraction to me.” He paused briefly before adding, “But no, that’s not the reason I'm staying in tonight, either.”
You crossed your legs in your chair, curiously noting the sudden shift in his tone. He almost sounded…sad? Like something was bothering him. You’d certainly known Matt long enough to know when he sounded off, even over a phone.
“Sounds like something is wrong, though,” you gently pointed out. “What’s on your mind, Matty? Did something happen?”
Matt expelled a long, drawn out sigh over the line. The noise had your lips curving into a frown, especially with how exhausted he had already sounded when you’d first answered. You wished you were there with him in his apartment now, wished you could pull him into a hug because it sounded like he needed one. You'd happily sit there and hold him, comforting him as long as he needed it.
In that moment you found yourself missing the way you’d always had such easy access to each other in college; all you’d had to do back then was walk over to his residence hall and take the elevator up to his dorm. If you wanted to stay up all night talking and drinking, you really could have just skipped a class in the morning. Things had certainly been much simpler back then in some ways more than they were now, though you definitely didn’t miss the heartache you had always carried around not knowing Matt had been within your reach in more than one way that entire time.
“Nothing really,” he told you, his voice sounding a little dejected and worn. “It was just a really difficult week this week and I was having a…bad day, I suppose. I just missed the sound of your voice, if I’m being honest.”
You felt the ghost of a smile cross your lips at his words. You knew that feeling all too well. Truthfully you felt it every single day when you thought about him, but even more on the days that were long and draining. Days like today.
“I’m always just a phone call away, Matty,” you assured him. “But I miss you, too. I’ve been missing you more than usual lately myself.”
“Little less than three weeks and I’ll be right there with you, sweetheart,” he reminded you softly.
There was a smile in his voice, you could hear it in the way it had coated each and every word of his. Matt was not alone in counting down the days until you could pick him up from the airport and have him all to yourself in L.A. for a little while. You’d already been trying to plan things out, wondering what he might enjoy doing with you the most while he was here.
“I’m excited to show you around out here,” you told him, a small smile making its way back onto your lips. “Take you away from that cold New York winter for a bit. Maybe I can bring you to a beach out here, one not filled with tourists. My coworker showed me a good place shortly after I moved here.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked, a brightness returning to his voice already. “I’ve never been to the ocean before. Or a beach.”
“I know,” you told him. “Figured it might be a fun experience. Or at least…I’m hoping it is for you, considering your, you know, heightened senses.”
“Anything I get to do with you while I’m out there will be amazing, sweetheart,” he assured you. “I'm just going to be happy to be with you again. It's already been far too long.”
You ducked your head, your nails nervously toying with the hem of your cotton shorts you’d thrown on after work. He always knew the right thing to say to you, but you could also hear the truth to his words. Honestly you felt the same. You’d easily be content to never leave your apartment for a single minute over the few days he’d be staying with you. If you could curl up with him on your couch for the entire duration of his visit, you’d be blissfully happy.
“Plus,” he continued, his coy tone breaking through your thoughts, “a beach date most likely means you’d be in a swimsuit, right?”
Heat began to creep up your neck and into your cheeks. You’d certainly thought about the implication of a beach date meaning Matt would most likely be shirtless and splayed out on a towel with you, cuddling under the warm California sun. Giving you ample opportunity to appreciate his body and the muscles that his clothing always hinted at, something you’d never once been able to do before as his friend.
“I mean, yes,” you answered softly. “But what does that matter, exactly?”
“Ohh trust me, sweetheart,” Matt began with a deep, amused chuckle, “there’s plenty of ways for me to appreciate you partially dressed on a beach. Where my eyes might fail me, my hands certainly won’t.”
Your cheeks began to flame at the thought of what he might mean by that, your eyes slowly closing. Once more you found yourself mentally kicking yourself for not sleeping with Matt when you’d had the chance last month. Because once again you were beginning to feel that all too familiar dull ache between your legs that was begging to be relieved by him and him alone. 
Clearing your throat, you tried to change the topic before you found yourself too worked up. Something you weren’t entirely sure wasn't intentional even now.
“So what exactly was on the agenda for you tonight then?” you asked him. “If you weren't going out?”
“Ahh, well,” he began, sounding a little sheepish, “truthfully I was just going over some documents and counting down the minutes until I could realistically call you after work. But I eventually caved because I couldn’t make myself wait any longer.”
You sighed, spinning around in the breakfast bar stool towards your counter. Leaning forward, you rested your chin in your hand. “Why couldn't you have gotten the ability to fly with those heightened senses of yours, too?” you joked. “Or like, the ability to teleport? Then you could just show up here whenever you want.” 
Matt laughed lightly over the line and you closed your eyes, trying to pretend he was here sitting beside you. You would’ve given anything for that. 
“I'm sorry, I didn't exactly get a choice in what those chemicals did to me as a kid,” he joked back. “Nor could I have foreseen the usefulness of that for a long distance relationship in the future.”
“I know, I know,” you murmured. “I just wish you weren't so far. I miss you.”
“Me too, sweetheart,” he whispered back, the mirth disappearing from his voice. 
A silence fell over the line, the only sound being Matt’s quiet and even breaths. Those three words once more rose to the surface in your mind, dancing on the tip of your tongue. You wanted so badly to just say them already as you sat there, but you knew now wasn't the right time. Thumbnail slipping between your teeth, you began to half-heartedly chew it as you fought to shove the urge to tell Matt how you felt about him back down. That ache in your chest returned as you did, reminding you that even though you finally had Matt, you didn’t have him how you’d always wanted him. Not exactly. Not yet.
“So how’s work been for you this week?” he asked, voice breaking through your thoughts.
“Eh,” you said, shrugging a shoulder. “Busy, even though nothing much exciting is happening at the office. Still certainly a lot less stressful than your week sounded with that big trial you were dealing with.”
A sigh slipped out of your lips as you continued to distractedly chew your thumbnail. If only you had a way to leave L.A. and realistically move back to Hell’s Kitchen. If only things could be different between you two now that you were finally together. If only you could just decide that you wanted to stop by his apartment and then just go there. Like how things used to be back in college.
“Something on your mind?” Matt asked.
“Not really,” you answered. “Was sort of just…missing how it was easier for us to get together back when we were at Columbia. All those Saturday nights I could just show up with a pack of beer at your guys’ dorm and lose track of time. Go grab breakfast together at the dining hall the next morning with you two while we were all still hungover.”
Matt laughed lightly on the other end of the line. “If only I wouldn’t have been an idiot and just told you how I felt, maybe we wouldn’t have wasted so much time. And maybe you wouldn’t be…”
His voice trailed off, his thought left hanging unfinished over the line. Though you knew what he’d been about to say without him having to say it. Maybe if he’d told you how he felt, you might not have been so far away in L.A. right now. If you’d known how he felt, you might never have left in the first place.
But there was no way to change the past now.
“Hey, do you remember that one night at the bar?” you asked Matt, sitting up straighter in the stool as a memory came back to you. “Back at Columbia, when you called me a female version of Foggy?”
Matt groaned loudly over the line, a grin growing wide over your lips at the sound of it. You could just picture him throwing his head back as he sat on his couch, remembering that moment from all those years ago. 
“Yes, I remember,” he told you. “Though I don’t think I’d thought about that night in a long time. That was the real reason why you left crying that night though, wasn’t it? Because I’d called you a female Foggy?”
“Yeah,” you answered. “Definitely not the thing you want to hear your crush tell you. That you’re basically the equivalent of their best friend.”
“Shit,” Matt cursed, laughing a little. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t truly know just how hurtful that comment was. I hadn’t meant it to be. But what has you bringing that up?”
You shrugged, aware he couldn’t see the gesture. Slipping your nail out from between your teeth, you began to trace the patterns in the quartz of your countertop.
“I’ve always wondered why you’d said that,” you confessed. 
“Because I’m an idiot, clearly,” Matt replied, causing you to giggle. “But honestly I’d meant it as a compliment. And I think when I’d picked up on how awful you’d felt thinking you weren’t good enough for Fog at the time–because that’s who I’d suspected you might be talking about–I was hoping it would help your situation. As much as I didn’t want to see you two together, in that moment it pained me to feel how bad you were hurting sitting there next to me. I was hoping that if you’d possibly meant Fog, that the comment would get him to see just how much you both had in common.” Matt exhaled a deep breath, pausing for a moment. “Though it was…clearly a stupid comment to make at the time. And it killed me to know how much it upset you that night after the fact. I’d never meant to make you feel like that.”
“Yeah,” you said softly, finger still tracing the stone of your counter, “I know.”
“Suppose I wasn’t always as smooth as I thought I was back then,” he muttered.
“As long as you don’t feel that way about me now,” you teased back. “I’m certainly hoping you view me a little differently than a female Foggy.”
“Oh trust me,” Matt said, his voice dropping back down to that sultry tone, the one now raising the hair along your forearms as it rumbled right into your ear, “there’s only one of you that I’d like to crawl into bed with and do all sorts of things to, and it’s certainly not Foggy.”
You felt the heat not just creeping back into your cheeks at his words, but now flooding your entire body and sending your blood rushing south. Raising your hand from the cold stone, you pressed the back of it against your burning cheek. Tongue slipping out, you nervously wet your lips.
“Well maybe in a few more weeks you can finally do a few of those things,” you shyly whispered back.
Matt made a pleased noise in his throat, the sound only causing your thighs to press together on the stool. Swallowing hard, your eyelids dropped closed. You could feel your pulse beginning to race, your heart pounding hard in your chest.
“I was certainly planning on it, sweetheart,” he whispered back. “Now you’re only making me look forward to my visit even more.”
“You’re not the only one,” you replied. “I uh, don’t exactly want to waste anymore time when it comes to that.”
“I think we’ve already wasted enough time,” Matt agreed.
And just like that, you knew tonight would inevitably be another night spent with your vibrator when this call finally ended. But you knew you’d be lying in your bed wishing you had Matt between your legs instead, and that only made you more desperate to somehow find your way back to Hell’s Kitchen and back to him.
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wileys-russo · 1 year ago
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I just saw a recent interview Stanway where she says she’s learning how to tattoo, so maybe something where Georgia convinces reader to tattoo them and it’s just cute fluff
inkmaster II g.stanway
"she's getting pretty good you know?" you looked up from your book as vik appeared, nodding to your girlfriend working away in the corner of his tattoo studio. "she harassed you to try it on some real skin yet?" the man grinned as you playfully rolled your eyes. "only every single day."
"you any closer to saying yes?" he smiled knowingly. "maybe a little. like you said, she's getting pretty good." you admitted fondly, marking your place in your book as vik disappeared to greet a client out front.
not wanting to throw her off you walked behind where georgia was tattooing, watching over her shoulder as she concentrated, hair thrown up into a messy bun and the sleeves of her baggy t-shirt rolled up out of the way showing off the dozens of little tattoos littering her arms.
"hello you." she paused, flicking off the tattoo gun and carefully place it beside the prosthetic fake skin she was practicing on. "looks good amor." you complimented as she swiveled her chair around to face you, tugging you down to sit on her lap.
"you look good." she grinned cheekily, her thick accent sending you swooning. "would vik let you tattoo someone yet?" you questioned with a small smile, watching georgias face absolutely light up at your question.
"wait here!" she gently moved you off of her and raced away making you laugh quietly and take a seat, admiring the small designs she had been practicing just moments before.
"he said yes! he has to supervise me and i can't charge ya, not that i would do that obviously, but he said yes!" georgia beamed, grin from ear to ear as she came sprinting back into the room. "do ya know what you want?" georgia asked and you nodded, standing to retrieve your phone.
"wait. baby are ya sure?" georgia grabbed your hands, interlocking your fingers and sweetly kissing your palm. "very sure. why? are you scared of what my sisters might say?" you teased, smile widening seeing the way her face instantly paled.
"er i didn't think bout that! maybe not then." georgia worried as you grinned. "baby they both have tattoos too, they will not care!" you assured, reaching up to move some flyaways out of her face.
"anyway. i want these, can you do them?" you showed her your screen, worry replaced with a frown as she inspected the two small designs. "yeah, i think so." she nodded confidently, bending down to reward you with a kiss before running off to grab what she needed.
"okay. ready? ready?" vik sat down beside georgia to watch on as you both nodded, georgia kissing the crook of your elbow as you sent her a smile, laid down on a chair as your arm was stretched out and ready.
"baby tell me if i'm goin too deep and it hurts." georgia warned, eyes glazed over with concern. "it's supposed to hurt, no?" you teased but nodded in agreement making vik chuckle, instructing georgia as she flicked on the tattoo gun.
your chosen designs were all linked in with your family, and though you'd been tattooed before you had seldom in visible places so a lot was on the line here and your girlfriend knew that.
you flinched just a tiny bit as her needle met your skin but once you adjusted to the buzzing and the slight sting you mumbled encouragement over and over to the blonde in front of you whose confidence grew as each minute passed, watched over carefully by vik.
"ya alright love?" georgia checked in as she wiped down the first little tattoo she'd now finished, vik nodding he was also happy with it. "you're doing so good baby, barely hurts." you complimented, your girlfriend blushing slightly which the man beside her was quick to tease her about as she rolled her eyes and flicked the gun back on.
"just try not to think about that you're tattoing la reina's baby sister a week before you play her." "shut up vik man! your makin me dead nervous."
~
"did you forget your barca jersey in germany hermanita?" you rolled your eyes before you even turned around, your older sister pulling you into a headlock and ruffling your hair before you pushed her off.
"im not picking a team today." you glared at her, refusing to choose between your sister or your girlfriend as they lined up against one another for the champions league, much to the annoyed protests of both parties at your decision.
"hola mami." you smiled, your mother pulling you into a tight hug, not having seen you in over a month now you held her for as long as she needed before you released her and she wiped away a few tears, you quick to promise you would try and come home to visit more.
"you got new tattoos!" your sister realized the moment you'd pulled away from the hug with her. "shut up alba!" you hissed smacking her arm as you all walked into the stadium and up to your seats, your mother well in earshot who only turned with a smile.
"i have long given up reasoning with any of you about what you put on your bodies mija."
"i like them but they are a little....wonky?" you yanked your arm out of her grip as the three of you sat down. "georgia did them. be nice!" you warned only causing her to throw her head back and laugh.
"oh hermana just you wait till ale hears that, your little girlfriend is a dead woman."
~
"assist and a goal. you played so well gee baby!" you greeted your girlfriend by the barrier with a grin and a kiss, pulling her sweaty form into a hug, murmuring a more quiet condolence for the loss.
"wish my name was on your back." the blonde frowned causing your smile to widen as you kissed away her pout. "any other game you know it would be." you promised softly, glancing up and seeing your eldest sister marching her way over.
"incoming. be strong! don't let her boss you around." you warned as georgia's eyes widened but before she could even speak it was too late. "stanway!" you shot alexia a firm glare as she arrived, slinging an arm over your girlfriends shoulder and steering her away.
"no. you stay!" she warned as you tried to jump the barrier to follow after them, watching on sympathetically as your sister marched the poor girl away from you. "you had a good game." alexia started, georgia stammering out a thank you with wide eyes.
"whats all that then?" keira appeared beside you, pulling you into a hug as you congratulated her for the win. "i let her do it." you smiled, holding out your arm with the fresh tattoos as keira inspected them with a whistle.
"well its been nice knowing her, but she's a dead woman now." "why does everyone keep saying this!"
"so. you have been permanently marking my sister now stanway?" alexia accused, moving to tower over the shorter girl whose face pale as she tried to stammer out an excuse.
"no more. if i find one more single tiny mark on her that i know she was not born with, i will make sure to have the barca crest inked on your face. that is a promise!" alexia warned firmly, georgia nodding repeatedly and rambling out an apology over and over, a satisfied smile settling on the eldest putella's face as once again her arm slung over the midfielder and she walked the two of them back toward you.
"i'll see you at dinner hermana, you too stanway." your sister kissed your forehead and winked to your girlfriend before striding away toward the change rooms.
"are you okay baby? what did she say?" you asked a very pale georgia, keira doubled over in laughter at her best friends expense, having been the one who introduced the two of you in the first place.
"er well i think i need to learn tattoo removal now."
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bteezxyewriter12 · 3 months ago
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Lazy Cuddles/ 2
Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader
Word count- 1.9k
Includes- Soft cuddly boyfriend Yoongi, lazy sex from behind, cock riding, multiple orgasms, so much fluff
Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist
📝Lazy Cuddles 1
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Yoongi POV
"Jagi?", I call, coming into the living room
"Mmmm?", she answers
"Jagi, where are you?"
I walk around the couch to find her laying on it, her face buried in the pillows, blanket pulled up to her chin
"What are you doing baby?", I chuckle, sitting next to her
"Dying"
"No baby, you can't die", I joke, "I need you jagi"
"Yoongi", she whines
Something's wrong
She'd usually joke back with me
"Tell me what's wrong baby", I ask, running my fingers in her hair
"Bad headache", she whispers, "Hurts so much"
"I'm sorry jagi"
She gets bad headaches from time to time
Even with meds it still hurts
Sometimes they last hours, sometimes they're short
Sometimes she gets one every day for a week or two then none for months
She's been checked out and there's no explanation for them
"Did you take meds?"
"Three Advil"
"Three?", I gape
That's a lot but it's normally what she takes when the headaches are severe
"Very bad headache", she whines, "And it's not working anyway"
"I'm sorry baby. Did you drink water? Maybe you're dehydrated?"
"I did naekkeo", she answers, "I'm just trying to nap. Maybe it'll go away when I wake up"
Sounds like a good idea
I don't want to leave her alone though
"I'll stay with you jagi"
She lifts her head, squinting at me, "You don't have to work?"
"Yeah but I can do it here. Use my laptop and headphones and I'll be right next to you"
She nods, "Ok naekkeo. Thank you"
"Of course Jo"
Leaning over her, I kiss her forehead then get up to get my stuff
--------------------------------
Half an hour later, I stop the music to change something when I hear her whimper
Reaching out, I rub her back as I fix what I need to fix
Then I hit play and listen to the melody
She moves, turning around, her back to me, trying to get comfortable
She hasn't been able to fall asleep yet
I'm trying everything I can- play with her hair, massage her forehead, rub her back but nothing is working
I don't know what else to do for her
Once the music stops playing, I decide it's good and I open a new file to work on
"Yoongi", she whispers
"Yeah baby?"
"Can....you hold me?"
I smile at her back, saying, "Yeah jagi. Of course. I can use a break anyway"
I'll do anything for her, drop anything for her, to help her, to comfort her
Taking my headphones off, I put them and my laptop on the floor, then lay down under the blanket next to her
Wrapping my arms around her body, I pull her against me, her back to my chest
I cuddle into the back of her neck, pressing kisses to her skin there
"Better jagi?"
"Yeah naekkeo. Thank you"
"No need to thank me. I'll always jump at the chance to hold you"
"I love you Yoongi. So much"
"I love you Jo. More than anything", I tell her, "Now try to sleep baby ok? I don't want you hurting anymore"
"I'll try", she says softly
"Good"
Pressing a kiss to her neck, I hold her, my eyes closing as well
I'm not planning on sleeping as I'm not tired but I don't want to just stare at nothing
A few minutes later, I hear her even breathing and I smile
Seems like she just wanted me
Which is fine because she can have me whenever she wants
I'm not ready to get up yet so I just keep a tight hold on my jagi
--------------------------------
Movement against my dick wakes me up
She's moving around in my arms, her ass rubbing against my crotch
What time is it?
I don't even remember falling asleep
It's not a big deal
That's our thing
Naps
A nap with my jagi is never a bad thing
But her wiggling around is making my dick hard
"Jagi", I murmur, moving my hand down to her hips and stopping her movements, "Don't wiggle baby"
"Huh?", she asks sleepily
"Don't wiggle. Your ass is rubbing against me and making me hard"
"Mmm", she whines, still pushing against me
"Is your headache gone?", I ask, trying not to think about sex
"Yeah. Just needed a nap", she says softly, her body still pressing and moving against my dick
"No more wiggling jagi", I say softly, my cock fully hard against her
It'll go away, I just need her to stop moving
"Put it in naekkeo", she murmurs
"What?", I ask, not sure I heard her right
"I feel how hard you are. Want you. Put it in"
It takes a second for my sleep riddled brain to comprehend what she's saying
"Are you sure?", I ask, once what she says sinks in
"Yes naekkeo. Want you"
I definitely want her so I pull her pants and panties down as far as I can
She lifts her legs to her chest, pulling everything off as I pull my pants and boxers down
I pull her back against me, then align my dick to her entrance and start pushing in slowly
"Yoongi", she murmur, her tight pussy opening for my cock, sucking me in as I move
"Jagi", I whimper, my arm moving around her, keeping her body against mine, "Feels so good baby"
"Mmm", she moans, her cunt getting wetter, leaking around my cock with each inch in
I'm almost in and I shove my hips forward, burying entirely in her sweet cunt, feeling the hard clenching her pussy is doing
The pleasure rolls over me as we both moan
"So good naekkeo", she says softly
"Always good jagi", I tell her, kissing the back of her neck
I move one of her legs back, over mine thigh, spreading her legs open
Moving my hand in between her legs, I run my fingers up her pussy, collecting the juice she's leaking around my cock
Then I press on her throbbing clit, hearing her gasp, and start moving my fingers in a circle
"Yoongi", she moans, shaking against me
Her pussy tightens so hard around me, spasming so blissfully
With each massage of my fingers, her cunt creams my dick more and more
I keep my cock firmly buried in her cunt, starting to grind into her, making sure my head rubs her spot
I slide my free hand up her shirt, groping her boob, pinching her nipple
"Oh god", she cries, "Yoongi, don't stop"
"I'm not baby", I murmur against the back of her neck, pressing soft kisses to it, "Not until you cum all over my cock"
She whimpers, her pussy spasming wonderfully hard around my length
She's so fucking tight, it like her pussy is choking my cock and I'm living for every pulse
I play with her throbbing clit faster, her cunt a waterfall, soaking my pelvis and my thighs, her pretty moans music to my ears
She's close, I can tell from how her pussy's gripping my cock, how she's throbbing
And I know what she needs when she's right there
"Cum for me jagi", I murmur in her ear, "Want your pretty pussy coming all over my cock for me"
"Yoongi, oh god"
She falls apart at the next move of my fingers, orgasming all over me
"Yes baby. Don't stop", I murmur, her body shaking against mine, pleasure from her orgasm washing over me
It feels so fucking good and I wouldn't have it any other way
Her legs start to close as her orgasm continues
Letting go of her boob, I grip her thigh, holding it open
"Keep your legs open", I demand, "I didn't tell you to close them. I'm not done with you yet baby"
She nods, "Ok naekkeo"
"Good girl"
After she finishes, I hold her around her waist and keeping her leg over mine, I pull my hips back, feeling every inch of her pussy tug on my cock as I pull out to my head
"Ready for me jagi?"
She nods
I thrust my whole cock back into her, slamming her spot, her scream of pleasure sounding in the room
I move quickly, fucking her pretty pussy, incredible pleasure washing over me
Her pussy squelches with every thrust, the pornographic sound turning me on more
I pound into her, spreading her hole around my length, making her cunt cream every inch of my cock
She leans back, her arm moving around my neck, her lips crashing into mine
I throw myself into her kiss, my tongue against hers, kissing her hungrily as I fuck her pussy wide open
The kiss is messy, our tongues all over each other's and it's so right in this moment
She moves, pulling me out, then climbs on top of me, sliding down my cock to the hilt
"I need you baby", she murmurs, bouncing on my cock right away
Fuck, I need her
I move us, leaning against the couch cushion, my hands on her thighs
As she comes down, I thrust up into her cunt, going in so deep
"Yes, Yoongi", she cries, grinding on me when I'm all in
I watch her slide up my cock, her pussy cream coating my cock, making a big beautiful mess
She comes down, her pretty swollen lips wrapped around my length, her hole opening and straining as she takes me
Sliding my hands up, I push her shirt up and off, watching her pretty boobs bouncing in my face
She tugs on my shirt, whining as she rides me and I get the hint
As soon as my shirt is off, she leans her hands on my shoulders, fucking the life from me
The pleasure is exquisite and the view of her on my cock, the pleasure in her face is mesmerizing
I love this girl more than anything in this world
I start moving again, thrusting up into her pretty hole as she bounces down, the bliss increasing for both of us
"Yoongi, yes...yes baby", she pants, her gorgeous brown eyes on mine
"So fucking good jagi. Such a good girl for me", I murmur, the throbbing of her pussy becoming extremely hard and tight
We fuck each other, both sweating and the next thrust has her screaming as she cums
"Yoongi", she cries, her pussy squirting, soaking me, her head back, her hips rocking, eyes closed, her fingers digging into the skin of my chest
Ecstacy tidal waves over me, stars explode in my vision, my hand squeezing her thighs hard as I go over the edge, filling her cunt with my cum
"Joanne! Jagi!"
"Yoongi! Yoongi!"
I help her rock on me to prolong the bliss for both of us, my body shaking involuntarily
God, it's so fucking amazing
She's amazing
As we finish, her rocking slows down until she stops
Her eyes meet mine, a soft smile on her face
Her hand cups my cheek, her fingers stroking my skin, a loving look on her face as she gazes at me
"I love you"
My heart pounds in my chest, like it always does when I hear her say those words
"I love you", I tell her, smiling at her too
She leans down, her lips meeting mine
I immediately fall into her kiss, her arms moving around my neck, mine around her waist
As we kiss, we move, laying down, her body against mine, her soft skin against mine, our legs tangling together
Holding onto each other tightly, we cuddle and kiss each other with no intention to stop
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natsgrave · 10 months ago
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YOU'RE LOSING ME | wanda maximoff
how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? do i throw out everything we built or keep it? and you know what they all say, you don't know what you got until it's gone. i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist whispers of heartache m.list
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Y/N's POV
What are you really willing to do for love? For someone so important to you?
Well, for me, I'll do everything and anything for that person. Even though it hurts. So much.
I rolled to my side and smile instantly crept into my face. There she is, my girlfriend looking so peaceful. I admire her sleeping state and curved her figures inside my mind.
"You know, it's rude to stare." She suddenly spoke making me laugh.
"What? Can't I admire my gorgeous girl?" I teasingly asked.
She slowly opened her eyes revealing my favorite green eyes, "Good morning, Y/N." she whispered with a smile.
"Good morning, witchy." I softly said with a little laugh that I tried to hide causing her to throw a pillow at me.
I love morning like this. Just us not caring about the world.
Just like the clock works before we know it, we already have to leave the bed to face reality.
"It's nice to finally see you awake, love birds." Tony said as he took a sipped of his coffee.
"We're not love birds, Stark." Wanda replied with the roll of her eyes.
Ah, yes, we're secret because she said and I quote she's not yet ready to come out. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt me one bit because it does. All I want is to love her, out in the open and not like this.
I felt a hand touches my shoulder causing me to go back to reality, I look infront of me and met Wanda's soft gazes, "Are you okay? I've called you so many times."
"Oh, yeah. Don't worry, I'm good." I breathed out and walked away not giving her any second glance.
I walked towards the kitchen and make myself coffee when Natasha spoke.
"Still keeping it a secret?" I didn't even notice she's here. And yes, she's the only one who knows about our relationship. We didn't tell her for the record, she just walked in on us… making out.
Anyway, I look up at her and gave her a defeated smile, "Isn't it obvious?"
"How long are you going to ignore that pain inside your chest?" she asked and I didn't answer because honestly… I don't know either.
"Y/N, when are you going to choose yourself? When are you going to see what your worth really is?" She continues holding my shoulder forcing me to face her.
"I love her." I whispered.
"And I know that, I can see that. Hell, you wouldn't even ignore and bare all this pain if you don't." Nat said and lift my chin, "You're like a sister to me and I don't say this often but I do love you, Y/N. I care for you and it's really hard seeing my little sister getting hurt whether she does it unintentionally." She softly added.
"Nat, I-" The words I was about to say instantly cut off when I heard Wanda's laugh ringing loud. I look behind us and see her laughing with Vision. The fucking red walking toaster.
"Are you sure the reason why she's keeping you both a secret is because she is not yet ready or…?" She asked trailing her last word knowing that I'll know it instantly.
"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I reassured her but deep down, it was for me.
Days turns into weeks which also turn into months. Months and nothing changed, not even a single thing. Every time I try opening the subject to Wanda, she always find a way to divert it into different subject but today, I wouldn't let it happen. Not anymore.
"Wanda, we need to talk." I sternly said as I enter her room.
"Hi to you too, baby." she replied still sitting on her bed.
"We can't go on like this." I directly said starting the topic.
"Y/N, can we–"
"No, we can't. We're going to talk about this right now. God, we've been together for almost three years, Wanda. Three long fucking years and not even single effort you made to change our status."
"Y/N, you know damn well I'm not yet ready to make us public." She said nearly shouting.
"Three years is not enough for you? I didn't say that you make us public, all I want is for the team to know. Just them. I'm tired being your little secret, I'm tired of you being mine just around this goddamn four walls. I respect what you want and need, Wanda. For three years, I prioritized what you want, this, but you have to understand that I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I kept pushing my needs aside because I love you, but I can't do it anymore. I want to love you, freely. I kept choosing you, I kept giving you all my best me's until there's nothing left for me. I can't choose you anymore." I ramble, on the verge of crying but I kept all my emotions under control.
"Y/N, I… I'm sorry." Wanda softly said standing infront of me.
"Are you apologizing because you're now realizing all of this or are you apologizing because you still can't give the only thing I want?" I asked quietly.
"I'm sorry because I hurt you and I keep on hurting you."
"THEN TAKE IT AWAY! MAKE THIS GO AWAY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THIS! DO SOMETHING!" I shouted as my tears finally left my eyes.
"Y/N…"
"Wanda, I don't know anymore. Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? I'm getting tired. I tried, I keep telling myself to wait until you're ready but every time, this voices inside my head kept telling and asking me, are you even going to get there?" I cried out.
"Are you… Are you tired now, Y/N?" she shakily asked.
I nod and wiped my tears, "I'm so tired, Wanda. I feel so lost, this between us made me doubt myself so much. Am I not worth the risk for you? I'm tired of wondering how can you just pretend everyday like we're nothing." I sobbed and sat on the bed as I rest my face on my hands, "I'm tired of saying that I'm okay, that it doesn't hurt. I'm tired of pretending everyday. I'm tired of waiting for you to fulfill your promises. I'm tired of defending you against Nat especially myself. I believed in you, Wanda. I kept waiting but it seems like in this relationship, it's not us against the world. It's me against you." I said between cries looking at her to see her crying as well.
"Y/N, I know whatever I say right now wouldn't change anything. It won't take the pain that I've caused you but trust me, I love you. I really do. I can understand how hurtful it must have been for you. I know that I failed to treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. I am truly sorry for any pain or suffering that I have caused you. It was never my intention to hurt you, and I can only imagine the amount of pain that I have caused you. I want you to know that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things right between us. I am willing to work on myself and our relationship to ensure that this does not happen again. I know that sorry is not enough to fix the mess I have made. I promise to do everything I can to show you how much I love and value you as my girlfriend." Wanda sobbingly said as she held my hand.
"There, you're making promises once again. How many time did you promise me that you'll make it up to me? at first you'll make such effort but eventually, you'll stop and forget about it. I don't even know if I can trust anything that's coming out of your mouth right now." I said and walked away from her, "It hurts me to think that we can't share this part of our lives together with those who are important to us. Am I not important to you? Do you not trust me? Or is it just too scary to go against the norm? I can't keep pretending not to be in love with you when we're around others. I want to hold your hand, introduce you to my friends and family, and just be able to love you openly without any fear or shame." I added. "I don't understand." Wanda said. I chuckled, "I know you don't."
"Do you want to end this? Us?" She asked with fears in her eyes.
I stayed quiet for few seconds thinking what I really want before looking back at her meeting her eyes, "Yes." I husked out causing more tears to fall out of her eyes.
"I'm just so tired, Wanda. I'm tired of the stress and the pressure that surrounds us every day. I'm tired of asking 'how long?' I'm tired of feeling like there's never enough time to do everything we want to do. I'm tired of constantly feeling like we're not doing enough, or that we're falling short somehow. Most of all, I'm tired of feeling disconnected from you. It feels like you've been so busy, so caught up in your own life, that you don't take the time to connect with me. I miss those intimate moments where we could just talk about anything and everything, and I feel like we don't have those as often as we should. It has to be done and I don't want to place blame on anyone— not myself, not you, not anyone else." I walked towards her and wiped her tears before pressing our foreheads together, "I'm sorry, I never thought that this day will come. I'm sorry I got tired and couldn't wait anymore. I love you but I can't be with you anymore. My heart won't start anymore." I finished before lingering a long kiss on her head.
"I love you, Y/N. I'm sorry for not showing it enough. I'm sorry I failed us." She sniffles before looking at me and caressed my cheeks, "I love you… in every universe."
I finally understood that true love isn't always about being together; Sometimes, it's about letting go. Because love alone, wasn't enough.
Both ends of rope were held, but they were held by me, and only me.
I love her too much and that's my biggest mistake I'll never regret, and if I'd ever meet her again in another lifetime, I'll beg the god to let me have you this time.
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sturniolo04 · 26 days ago
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The Confession 4 C.S.
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Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader
A/N: I tried something different :)
A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)
*Really long you have been warned.
it has been a few days and you have been staying at Madi's house the whole time we havent hung out with the triplets since that last time when literally all of them were mad at you. Which they probably still are mad at you but you all are leaving for hawaii today so which means you have to been with the triplets for two weeks and you couldnt help but think about the deadline nick gave me you dont know how you am going to do it honestly. You sighed out as Madi came in my room
"hey how are holding up jess"
"its going to be so awkward  Madi i really fucked up because i didnt want to get hurt"
"its going to be okay plus Nate is coming i found out from matt"
"you ready to go"
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Chris hasnt talked to Jess for a few days and it is killing him that he cant talk to her honestly she truly is his other half like he cant every think of a time besides now they didnt every hang out. She literally is always with him and everytime he was with her he would feel extremely safe with her and maybe it was the way she smelled like vanilla or when he would hug her or just oh my god..
"you ready to go dude"
"hello chriss"
"uh huh yeah give me a second"
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me and madi pulled up to the triplets house and you were already immediately ready for this trip to be over even though it hasnt even started yet. Me and made climbed out of my car walking over to the boys loading the van
"hi"
he states as he noticed madi's presence behind him
"hi you"
she states quietly waiting for him to be down doing what he was doing to hug him
"Jess"
"nick im so sorrry i know you are mad at me about chris and everything"
"im not mad at you i was actually hurt you didnt text me these past few days i thought you were mad at me for giving you a deadline with chris"
"no i wasnt mad and i am going to do it"
"tell him"
Nick questions you to make sure you two were on the same topic
"yeah i have to"
you sigh out slowly
"good for you and if he breaks your heart you know i am here for you"
"of course"
"hey"
Nate states as he walks up to the two
"Nathan whats up"
"hey nate"
"i feel like i havent seen you guys in years"
"it kind of has been at least a year"
"what did i miss then in that year then"
"jess likes chris"
"NICK SHUT UPP"
you exclaim quietly smacking nick's arm
"what for real"
he questions you chuckling
"no i dont"
"she does"
" Stop shut the fuck up dude"
you huff out walking away from the two running into you guessed it
"oh my god I'm sorry"
"it's whatever"
he states blowing you off completely walking away to get loaded up in the car with everyone else
"hey you good"
she asks walking up to you
"yeah um are you sitting with Matt"
you reply shaking that encounter off
"yeah you can sit with nick or Nate if you want"
"okay then"
"you guys ready we are leaving"
he shouts as everyone climbs into the van heading to the airport
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Time has passed and we made it to the airport and well chris had to sit next to Matt and Madi and he wasn't too happy about it but it wasnt until she asked him to move  that he realized he would be sitting next to Jess
" oh um I can move because I know you're mad at me so I can just go over and seat with Nate"
you state uncomfortably getting up slowly and sitting next to Nate in the aisle behind
Chris wanted to stop her so bad and talk to her but he was mad at her she ignored him for Christ sake his is her best friend at least he thought he was
"whatever Jessica"
he states abruptly focusing on his phone screen in front of him
wow the full first name he is mad at me for real. you walk over and sit next to Nate letting out a big sigh
" so you and Chris"
"not here Nate and no I fucked that up"
"what how"
"it's a long story"
you state closing your eyes for take off as nate places his hand on yours. you smile at the soft contact
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we finally got settled into our Airbnb in Hawaii and Matt knows his brother he is bothered by something other than the obvious of jess completely ignoring him last week but this was different
"matt can I ask you something... does Nate like have something going on with Jess or"
"No and even if they did why does it matter to you"
"I mean no it doesn't-  I just realized that I mean I thought they were something is all"
"what the fuck Chri- wait- you like her don't you"
"what the fuck matt no I don't"
he exclaims standing up from the couch they were sitting on
"okay then you don't maybe you should just talk to her"
"maybe I will where is she"
he replies giving in finally regardless to his past feelings
"maybe in her room or outside exploring with Madi"
"well I'm right here so the first one chris "
she states sitting next to matt resting her head on his shoulder
"word"
He states walking into her room which was a few feet away
"nate"
"uh hey what's up"
he greets awkwardly
"what are you doing"
"just chilling why"
"um yeah it's whatever"
"Nateee I couldn't find the the hat you were talking abou- Chris"
you trails off as she spots Chris
" uhh it's okay"
he says noticing your movement after realizing Chris was in the room
"can I talk to jess for a minute nate"
"uh sure I'll be out here with Matt and Madi"
"umm do want to sit"
"actually can we maybe walk on the beach"
"yeah sure"
you nod her head following Chris outside
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you two ended up walking on the beach in complete silence. Chris was being weird he was just being completely mad at me and now he wanted to talk to you. Just 2 hours ago he couldn't stand being next to you and now this
"jess are you and Nate"
"what!!!"
you exclaim at the thought
"no Chris just friends promise"
"just asking"
"yeah no I like someone else"
you state quietly
"even though he may not want nothing to do with me at least relationship wise"
"what do you mean you're amazing anyone who wouldn't want you is fucking stupid"
"thanks Chris"
"yeah"
he trails off
"hey so listen I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for being a douche to you"
"no I'm sorry for being weird all week and even now I guess I'm such a bad best friend"
"yeah you are'
he chuckles out
"hey"
you exclaim playfully pushing your shoulder into his lightly
"but seriously I miss you Jess like hanging out with you I feel like we used to talk about everything and when you got mad at me I literally had no one else to talk to"
"I'm sorry and I missed you too"
you say quietly
"why were you even mad at me"
he asked as you freezes at the question
oh my god Jess now is your chance just say what you have always been wanting to say.. rip the bandaid off now. You stop in my tracks and go for it finally
"umm Chris I was trying now to say anything to protect myself but I was only being weird to you and mad at you I guess because I"
taglist
@mintsturniolo @wh0resstuff @dirtylittleheart333 @emely9274
@stayingstromboli @spicymuffins03
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ofstarsandvibranium · 2 years ago
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My You-niverse: Marc Spector & Steven Grant
Fandom: Oscar Isaac
Pairing: Marc Spector x F!Reader, Steven Grant x F!Reader
Summary: You and America get stuck portal jumping until you reach your universe again. In the meantime, you meet various versions of your husband.
A/N: the last chapter is finally here! thanks to all of you who enjoyed this series!
Series Masterlist
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When you wake up, you're at the Sanctum. You know from how the room is decorated. Your body feels heavy, like it's made of lead. You wiggle your fingers and toes, trying to bring some circulation back. With a groan, you're slowly pushing yourself up into a sitting position.
You look to your left and see Marc resting his head on the bed. You're sure his neck and back are probably hurting from the position. His snores make you smile and you decide not to wake him.
Slowly and cautiously, you drag yourself out of bed. You stagger a bit, nearly falling to your knees, but you catch yourself on the bed.
The movement of the mattress wakes Marc up. His head shooting up and his eyes rapidly blinking. When he looks at the empty bed and then you standing beside it, he's on his feet.
"Shit, baby, what're you doin' outta bed?" he rushes around the bed to your side, holding you up at the waist.
You shake your head, "Marc, I'm fine. I-I need to use the bathroom."
"Could've woken me," he mumbles in disapproval as he guides you to the attached bathroom.
"Didn't wanna wake you. Seemed like you needed the sleep. Speaking of, how long have I been out."
"About a week."
"What?!" You look at him in shock.
"Strange says all of the multiverse hopping took a toll on you mentally and physically. We've been keeping an eye out on you. Strange has been a lot of help."
"And America? How is she?"
"She's been visiting you every day after her lessons with Wong. Other than that, she's still doing her thing."
You nod in approval, "Good. I'm glad she's moving on."
Marc proceeds to stay in the bathroom with you as you do your business. He keeps a careful eye on you, leaning against the sink, arms crossed over his chest, with a stern look on his face.
When you finish up and begin washing your hands, arms wrap around your waste and Steven's voice fills your ears, "How are you doing, lovey?"
You softly smile at him through the mirror's reflection, "I'm good." you dry your hands and turn to him, "How are you?"
"I've been worried sick for the entire week, but I'm glad to see you're okay," he cups your face and places a gentle kiss to your lips, "Do you remember anything?"
Blue. Laurent. Nathan. Bud. Santi. Richard. Leto. Poe.
You nod, "Yeah. I remember everything. I remember them all."
"Is that a good thing?" Steven asks, pure curiosity on his face.
"I-I'm not sure. I-I feel kind of...sad? I feel like I've lost someone and I have this sense of yearning but...but they're not mine to yearn for."
Steven looks at you in a way that you know he understands what you mean and yet he's not mad at you, "It's okay, Y/N. You're here. And those versions of us, they have you too. We're all okay, lovey. We'll all be okay." he pulls you into a hug, a hand cradling your head as it rests against him.
You let out a deep breath of relief as you let yourself melt into Steven's warmth.
_________________________________
"Y/N!" America cries out as she throws herself at you and you catch her in your arms, "I'm so glad you're awake!"
You chuckle at the young teen, "Hey, America. How are you?"
"I've been good. Definitely getting better at honing in on my powers! Wanna see?"
Marc steps in, "I think it's too soon for that, kid."
"Right. Got it. Sorry." she looks at you guiltily and deflates a bit.
"Next time. I'll be at full strength and fully ready to take on the multiverse this time." you nudge her and give her a smirk, letting her know that you two were okay.
It's been two days since you've woken up. Each day, a bit of your strength comes back. Eventually, you'll be good as new. Marc and Steven has been great at helping you get back to it. You see the love and devotion in their eyes, and you're forever grateful that, whether it's in this universe or the next, you'll always be loved by some version of them.
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xoxoamyas · 1 year ago
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Alone Without You (But I'm Still Here)
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rating : hurt/comfort, petnames used on reader [ love + sunshine ]
wilbur x gn!reader [ use of you/yours, no use of y/n ]
☆ wilbur finally comes home from touring after you have had a long few months day. <3
masterlist [ ☆ ]
note : n/a [ enjoy ! ]
⋆˙⟡
It had been a long day, and you were ready to curl up into your bed. Getting home was hard enough for you because you had to go through the motions you went through every day.
You didn't bother with flicking the lights switch to the living room, just walking about almost automatically till you reached your horribly empty bedroom. Fighting back tears as you flicked only that switch up, standing in the threshold to your bedroom, staring at the messy and unmade bed.
Usually, you'd have someone to share it with, someone to kiss away the bad and ugly terrors of the harsh day. But your love had been gone for nearly two full months now, having been on tour with his band.
You were proud of him, him being Wilbur. You texted him good morning, and I love you. As consistently as possible, anyway. You usually got a response, whether it was right away or delayed. Today had been a no response day, a day he was meant to go out on stage.
You don't know how long you stood there for, but eventually, you managed to move your heavy feet towards Wilbur's dresser. Pulling the top drawer out and picking one of Wilbur's sweaters you had seen him wear before, pushing the drawer closed after and trying not to stumble over to your bed as you tried to take your clothes from the day off. Now sporting the sweater and, eventually, some soft shorts to rest in.
You almost forgot about the light, trying not to cry over how overwhelmed you already were from the events of the day. You didn't want to walk all the way back over to the light switch, the idea of it all making you feel worse than you initially did.
After a long internal debate and disagreement, you found it better to turn the light off, seeing as that would make resting much easier. You were quick to find yourself in the bed on Wilbur's side right after, curling up around one of the two pillows Wilbur usually used to sleep with.
Just a couple more weeks, you tell yourself.
It's difficult, though, especially with how lonely it's gotten. You haven't been the same since he started touring. You tried hard to stay in contact with at least your own friends, and you tried talking to them about stuff you would usually discuss with Wilbur. Yet it all felt wrong. It felt out of place.
Wilbur was your best friend as much as he was your lover. He meant the world to you, and you wanted to stay by his side throughout it all. But you loved him to an unsurprising fault. You wanted him happy, and if that happiness for him was singing his heart out on stage for fans rather than being in bed with you after a long day? Then you supported it.
Sometimes, like right now, as tears silently trail down your face and against the pillows you used, you wonder what would've happened if you told him honestly how you felt about the touring. It was breaking you, tearing you apart at the heart.
You fall asleep, swarmed with the negative thoughts and the feeling of longing for a lover that's not where he could've been. You're asleep long before the front door opens.
Wilbur had been at the airport, seeing the notification for an "I love you" from his favourite person, yet he's distracted before he gets the chance to respond. The gates to his flight had been announced, meaning he had to rush and get to his plane with the rest of his band and crew.
It's long, longer than Wilbur would have liked, but they eventually had finished the process of everything. Boarding the plane and sitting for what felt like forever before it finally touched ground once more.
Tiredly, each individual took their respective rides to their own homes. It was nearly four in the morning by now, and Wilbur was definitely struggling with jet lag, yet that didn't deter his own growing excitement.
He was headed home to his beloved, happy to finally get to hold you in his arms once more. Wilbur was silly, yes, but he knew you'd be long asleep. That's why he remains silent when he finally makes it home, not daring to utter a single word as he clicks the front door shut behind him. Taking a deep breath of the welcoming air before letting out a sigh of relief and thanks.
Wilbur takes his time, knowing that he's likely to stay up until later into the evening. His first stop after abandoning his shoes by the front door is your shared room. He hadn't bothered to knock, not wanting to awaken your slumber as he slipped into the room. His heart melted as his gaze landed on you in the dark room, able to tell that your form rested in his usual spot, clutching a pillow in your grasp.
Momentarily, he had to stop and remind himself it was a pillow. He would not be jealous of a pillow.
Wilbur steps closer after a moment of basking in the atmosphere. He has to strain his eyes, but he can tell from anywhere that you had gone to sleep upset. Gently, he presses his hand to your cheek and can feel the old tears dried on your face. His heart breaks for you as he momentarily notices that you're wearing his sweater.
For the time being, he carefully removes the pillow from your hold. Not bothering to change out of his own clothes, the idea on the back of his mind more than anything. His arms effortlessly slotted around your waist after sliding you both closer towards your side of the bed.
“I'm home,” He hummed out softly, knowing you weren't conscious to hear him but that at least your subconscious and body would pick up on his presence. He hoped he could ease you more than you already were, if you even were.
When you wake up, it's not an alarm that wakes you. Something you had forgotten to set in the midst of getting caught up with your feelings the night before. You wake up to a foreign yet familiar warmth surrounding you, an arm around your waist and a hand combing through your hair gingerly.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize Wilbur was in your bed holding you. However, it does take a minute to realize that your tears have started up again.
“You're alright, love, I'm right here.” Wilbur gently hushes you as he moves his hand in your hair to gently cup the back of your head. Successfully, he pulls you closer so that you're comfortably pressed against him, head against his chest as his chin rests atop your head.
“I thought you weren't coming home anytime soon?” You manage to mutter, the words muffled. It takes a minute for Wilbur to process the words in full, but he softly sighs when he realizes what you've said.
“I know, sunshine, and I'm so sorry. But I'm home now, I'm safe, you're safe.” His reassurances help you even just slightly.
You can't bring yourself to say anything, none of the words you want to say are going beyond your thoughts. The thoughts that circle you like vultures waiting for their snack.
You just sigh, letting your body relax as your arms move to hug and curl around his back. Holding him just as close and tight without hesitation. You've been without him for too long, and you think the hold is enough to start with for the moment.
Though Wilbur can tell there's more that needs to be said, he leaves it be. He knows you'll talk to him when you're ready.
For now, he's holding you as close and tight as he possibly can. Pressing a sweet kiss to the top of your head as he lets himself properly relax with you.
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fir3ylolol · 1 year ago
Note
Hello :) I saw your requests are open and wanted to request MK1 Raiden/reader where she works at Madam Bo's and he frequents Madam Bo's just to see her. And then he finally works the courage to ask her out? Turns out she's also been eyeing him everytime he visits. They share a first kiss on the date too. Can get smutty if you want I just love Raiden and your writing hahaha thanks 💕 I may be back to request again 🫣
lightning in a bottle
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pairing: Raiden x Reader
summary: you've been working at madam bo's for a while and noticed one young man who comes in a lot. it doesn't hurt that he's cute and nice. that is, until he starts acting a little weird one day
tw: mentions of drinking, surprise date, first kiss
a/n: my first non-johnny fic! this was requested (obviously lol) and it was so much fun to write! also, expect a second chapter, i'm not done with raiden just yet ;)
word count: 1.53 k
pt. 2
Ao3
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This was the 10th-no-11th time he had come in this week, and you were starting to worry about him. Sure, he was cute and always tipped well, even complimenting Madam Bo directly every time. But eating here multiple times a day wasn’t going to be good for his body. Or his wallet. Yet, you said nothing like that to him and his friend. You had a system at this point. He would walk in and flash a smile, bowing slightly to you as you bow back. You would show him and his friend to their usual tables, not even bothering with menus at this point. You put in the order for their usuals and get back to your cleaning duties, sneaking looks back at him. You can’t help yourself, it’s hard to get sweet, handsome customers who aren’t drunk off their asses.
That seemed like the same thing was happening again, the bows and warm smiles shared between you too. But he was alone this time, no friend following shortly behind. As you start walking to the table, you hear a cough from behind you and you turn to realize he’s not with you. For the first time in a while, you hear him say something other than “The usual,” “Yes, please,” “Thank you,” and “The food was incredible, Madam Bo.” 
“I’d actually like to sit over there if that’s okay,” he points to a small table on the other side of the restaurant. “Yeah, of course!” You smile and pick up a menu, not wanting to assume again and lead him over to the sun-baked corner. He sits as you set the menu down, smiling with an expectancy of an order. But he just smiles, grabs the menu, and says, “Some tea, please,” before browsing his options.
You walk away, half-stunned, and find Madam Bo. She looks up at you, ready to hear the usual. But as you walk in, a confused look on your face, she grabs a glass of water and forces you to sit. “What’s wrong? Another drunk idiot mean to you?” She pats your back slightly as you look up at her. “He didn’t want the usual. He just wants some tea.”
“What??” She looks just as stunned as you but suddenly bursts out laughing. “Oh, I know what’s going on. Good for him, hm?” She forces you back on your feet, shoving a warm teapot and glass in your hand. “Go on, he’s getting thirsty without you.” You shake off how weird she was, even weirder than usual, and walk back to his table. As you pour the tea for him, you ask with as much confidence as you can muster, “Do you know what you’d like to eat?”
He clears his throat and looks behind you quickly. You turn after him, noticing Madam Bo leaning around the corner with a wink, disappearing a second later. Turning back, he stood up and pulled a chair out. “Could you sit, please?” Normally, you wouldn’t. He’s a customer. But he’s so kind, and he said it with such confidence, that you sit down across from him. He plants himself back down with a large grin. “Thank you. I know you’ve served me quite a bit, which I appreciate. And I know your name because…” He gestures vaguely to where a nametag would be on his chest before continuing, “But I don’t think you know mine. I’m Raiden. I’ve been coming by a lot lately, and I figured I wasn’t getting younger. Also, Madam Bo told me to. But, I think you’re really cool, and attractive, and I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me.” He paused to take a deep breath. “Now, if that's alright with you.”
“H-huh?” You take a long minute to process what he’s saying. “Madam…Bo?” You turn around again and see her waving at you, with a wide, conniving smile. You turn back to him, his smile starting to falter slightly. But honestly, you did need a break and you had noticed how cute he was for a while. When else would you get this chance? “Well…yeah, I’d love to.” You smile at him, which gives him another surge of confidence. “Great! Do you care what we order, or?” You shrug, untying your apron from your waist, “I’m not picky, I’ve tried everything twice.” He nods to Madam Bo behind you, hearing her shuffle away quickly. “Really? Are you a big fan of Madam Bo’s cooking?” 
“I guess you could say that,” you smile at him, he’s even nicer than you thought. “So what spurred this on? I’m assuming that it wasn’t all her doing,” you say with a general nod in Madam Bo’s direction. “Oh, no! I’ve been by a lot lately, and it’s mostly because of you. Not to sound creepy, but you’re quite attractive and nice and…well, I just think you’re cool.” His nervous smile widens, pouring a cup of tea for both of you. “Why, thank you. You’re pretty cool too. But I was wondering where your friend was.” He laughs slightly, “Oh, Kung Lao? He was busy with training today.”
“Training?” You tilt your head slightly, taking a sip of tea. “Yeah, Kung Lao and I are training under Madam Bo in various fighting styles. You know, Shaolin Fist, Nan Chuan, Jujustu.” “I only know one of those,” you laugh out slightly. “But you do a lot according to Madam Bo. Is she your grandma or something?” He coughs slightly, choking on the sip of tea that is in his mouth. “Oh, no no no. She’s just a good teacher.” “That I am!” Madam Bo appears out of nowhere, holding a large tray of food and placing it down. “You better eat up! I made this just for you two.” And she’s gone as quickly as she got there. Raiden looks at you and gestures at the food as if he’s asking you to eat first. And who are you to deny such a tempting request?
You both end up eating slowly since you can’t stop talking. He’s very humble and funny and genuinely likes hearing about you and your life. You learn more about him as well, that he’s a farmer and that he’s the Champion of Earthrealm. That sort of confused you at first, but he started telling the most incredible stories about another realm of fantastical beings and beautiful scenery, the backdrop for a massive showdown. You found yourself captivated by him, his words, and his charisma. Much too soon, the food is done, and you can feel Madam Bo shooting daggers into the back of your head. “You know, my shift is well past over. I should probably head home,” you say while standing up, grabbing your apron, and bowing slightly to him. He scrambles up after you, following as you walk towards the door, “Well then, allow me to escort you.” You giggle at his eagerness but nod slightly. “Alright, just follow me.” You wave to Madam Bo as you leave, her smile even wider. As you walk out the door, you hear her call out, “I knew you would be cute together! Lots of cute babies!” You hear Raiden cough next to you at how blunt she is, but you can’t help but laugh at her words. “What a typical elder! Only focused on what we can bring her, which is more kids to dote on.” He laughs along, glad you see the humor in it, “She just can’t help it, can she?”
You both walk down the dark street, shoulders bumping against each other and laughing quietly in the dark of night. You finally reach your house and lean against the door frame, looking at him sweetly. “You know, I had a good time today. I’m glad you asked me out. I’d love to do it again.” He lets out a sigh, a content smile on his face, “Oh, I’m glad. I don’t mean to sound weird, but I’ve noticed you for a while, and…I wanted to shoot my shot.” You reach your hand out, lightly tracing down his arm until you reach his hand, “You’re not the only one, you know. I’m always happier when you come in.” He twists your hand slightly, finally interlacing your fingers lightly and pulling you closer slightly. There you are, mere inches away from him under the moon, heart racing faster. His breathing is heavy, intense eyes looking into yours, and you finally close the gap. Leaning closer, you meet his lips with yours, light and gentle, which he gladly accepts. His free hand cups your face, pulling you closer. You’re lost in the moment, your hand against his chest, as your senses are full of him. You only feel his touch, smell the dust from the fields, hear your heartbeats synced up, taste his lips on yours. And then, when you pull away for air, all you can see is his gentle face, eyes lit up in joy. “We should do this again, yeah?” You whisper, still slightly out of breath. “Yeah, we should,” he whispers back, resting his forehead against yours with a smile.
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thewalkingwillowtree · 1 year ago
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Safe Haven
Series Part Listing Found Here
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Neteyam x Original Na'vi Female Character
Summery: Seeking refuge, Xilä and her father venture to the lands of the Omatikaya clan, in the hopes that the Toruk Makto would be generous in allowing them to stay. This is her story about not only finding her strength, but finding love. 
Warning: This story contains smut, violence & abuse (please don't read if these topics will affect you)
Some characters have been aged up. Neteyam in particular is 24.
Xilä is my own creation.
Warning! Cliffhanger Ahead
~
Part 15 - Mated Bliss
In the week that Xilä and Neteyam moved into their new home together, their lives had quickly settled into a comfortable routine.
Xi would easily say she'd been enjoying every moment of domestic bliss with her husband.
With every kiss and touch, every sweet moment they shared, even their bickering disputes- he was the best mate she could ever hope for.
Sometimes, when she sat back and really thought about it all, she felt giddy, finding it difficult to contain her happiness.
Eywa, was she blessed.
~
Neteyam groaned. Wiping sleep from his face, he blinked awake. Sitting up with a start when he realized the hour, he cursed, "Shit."
He was late.
Due to meet Tasam at the border before first light that morning, he mentally berated himself for staying up so late. It was his own greedy self to blame really and the culprit over said greed laid right beside him with her tail entwined with his.
Yet still with an uncontrollable smile, he scooted forward to lean over and stare down at his sleeping mate. She had evidently rolled away from him at some point.
"Xi, sweetheart. I'm late. I have to get ready to leave now," he whispered, kissing her exposed shoulder blade.
He leaned up on an arm, peeling away the blanket that covered her bare form, before combing back the loose, soft strands of hair to see her sleeping face.
Her hair smelled intoxicating. She had washed it last night with whatever new made up concoction D'avi had gifted her, and while Xi's intention was to re-braid it, Neteyam had gotten to her first, distracting her from the task.
"Baby, I'm going, okay?" he whispered, having every intention of getting up to leave, even though he further curled himself around her whilst nosing at her ear and down her cheek.
Xilä sighed softly, stretching as she slowly woke. A face nuzzled into her neck from behind as she yawned, while a large palm smoothed up the curve of her hip, dipping into her waist before spanning her ribs. Its journey ended when it began to fondle her left breast.
"'Teyam?" she mumbled groggily, squirming backwards, gravitating to the heat of his body.
He hummed against her skin, peppering tender kisses wherever he could reach. "Don't forget my mother will be coming by this morning," he reminded softly. "She's excited to finally spend a whole day with you."
That had her much more awake now, because she had actually forgotten. Xi rubbed her eyes and asked in a hoarse scratchy voice, "Did you ask Kiri if she would come too?"
"Hm?" He was very much distracted by now. His hand had wandered down the length of her body to inspect the mess between her legs.
Testing to see if she was still drenched from last night's events, he was quite glad to feel there hadn't been much leakage.
"Kiri," she emphasized, breaking him from a naughty fantasy. "When you saw her yesterday, did you remember to ask her to be my buffer for- ooh Ow!" she gasped, hissing with a pained wince when two thick digits suddenly entered her.
Neteyam froze. "What? It hurts?" he asked, easing his fingers out to peer over her in worry.
"Yeah, a bit. I'm sore but it's fine," she assured him quietly as her tail wound tighter around his in comfort. He always got worked up if he ever crossed a line with her in bed, she realized. "Just go gentle."
"No, if you're-" he cut off when she shot him a look. Hesitating, he asked, "Are you sure?"
At her reassuring smile and nod, he relaxed again and continued, moving far more gently than before. He twirled slow circles around her clit with the pads of his fingers, then carefully dipped a finger in knuckle deep.
"Teyam, did you find out?" she asked again, squirming from the sensation between her legs.
Extremely sensitive, puffy and still filled with his seed, her breath hitched when he began to sink in and out of her entrance, testing her readiness this time.
Neteyam snickered. "Yes, babe. I did ask, but Kiri said you don't need her, and that you'll be fine- which by the way I agree with. But don't worry Tuk overheard and invited herself. So you'll have company after all- something about a girls day..." he mumbled.
She let out a breathless, "Oh okay," as the single digit stretching her continued its pace- fingering her until she was ready to accept another one.
Two fingers working her now, every pump caused the insides of her thighs to become painted in the come she'd been stuffed with.
She sighed, giving in to the pleasure. It felt good. So fucking good. Her head collided with his shoulder when she arched backwards and he hummed his approval since the shift seemed to give him more skin to attack with his lips.
Xi rocked against his fingers greedily. She was a squelching mess- his seed mixed with her own arousal. An exasperated whine escaped her when he abruptly stopped, slipping his hand away.
Neteyam gripped under her knee, hooking it over his own to spread her wide. Sticky coated fingers trailing over her skin, smearing his come wherever he touched.
"Look at me," he ordered as his thick digits sank into her again, fucking her at a leisured pace. Filling her up yet giving her nothing at the same time.
"No teasing today," she whined, rolling her hips pathetically, chasing after more.
"Then look at me and I won't tease."
The moment she locked eyes with him, he withdrew his hand from between her thighs again, making her curse in protest. His gaze bore into hers when he pressed those two fingers against her lips, prompting her to open. She held his wrist still as she sucked them clean, humming at the taste of them both, eyes glinting seductively.
Neteyam's pupils dilated and he groaned at the sight. He was fighting the powerful need to devour her- to fuck her ruthlessly as she sobbed and begged him to make her come.
"Tsaheylu, sweetheart," he said huskily, dragging her hips downward so she was closer to his throbbing dick. Tauntingly, he rubbed his tip against her clit.
Xi felt drunk off of his affections. She wanted to scream in frustration. Her being overly sensitive from last night, made his usual teasing exceedingly torturous.
Quickly grappling her queue from behind, she swung it over her shoulder, panting in anticipation as Neteyam did the same.
"Good girl," he praised, sagging against her the instant the bond was made.
He ducked his head with a commanding, "Kiss me," and claimed her mouth as he lined himself up, sinking deep between her folds.
Moving slowly, he stretched her, inch by inch until he was fully sheathed. He pressed down gently on the bulge of her stomach where he sat, amazed every time he felt and saw the outline of himself there. He savored the snug fit inside of her, warm and wet and squeezing him just right.
Xi moaned against his lips, releasing an unhappy whine when made no effort to move.
Breaking the kiss, he grinned wickedly at the scowl she shot him. He loved how needy and desperate she would get for him. The sight of her flushed cheeks and pouty lips- and her eyes...fucking hell, he was done for.
Unable to stay still a moment longer, he rolled his hips, taking hold of hers, controlling her to his liking.
Their lovemaking was slow and sweet that morning. A far cry from the wild, sweaty night they'd shared a mere few hours ago.
Neteyam's movements were lazy, almost as if he had all the time in the world to fuck her. He sensually licked and sucked at her neck, practically feasting on her skin. His tail had abandoned hers- it was now wrapped around the thigh hooked over his, keeping her spread wide.
A nagging part in Xi's mind knew she should care that he would be late for his duties but she couldn't find it within herself. The pleasure was too much, too good, too addicting.
"Faster," she pleaded, hands fisting in their sheets with a wanton whine. "Faster, plea-"
"No. Just like this," he said, denying her request. "Sorry baby, you're sore, remember?" he teased, slowing his pace even further. "You said to be gentle. I'm being gentle."
She wanted to cry, his rhythm was tormenting. About to curse at him for using her own words against her, he suddenly pinched hard on her nipple and a moan escaped her- mingled with pain and pleasure, it echoed around their tent.
Neteyam sank deep into her, ever slowly dragging back so that just the tip of him sat against her slit before delving back in at the same speed, over and over and over, hitting all the right places inside of her.
Body quivering from the pleasure, Xi mewled. She felt like she was going insane, it was too much, too intense.
The build up was torturously good, but yet it wasn't enough. She wanted more- she wanted to come- she needed it.
"I can't- Teyam, please, please, p-"
"You close, sweetheart?" he asked, nipping her pointed ear. His breath was labored, and it was taking everything within in him not to flip his mate onto her stomach and fuck her hard.
The position was also killing his back since he had to practically contort himself around her because of how small she was.
"Mmhmm. So-so close, but I need-" she broke off into a sob.
"What do you need, baby?" he asked in faux concern, tightening his hold on her when she began to squirm.
"More- ugh. Teyam, make me come- Oh Eywa!" she cried when he changed his angle.
She turned to peer up at him, tears welled in her eyes as she bit hard on her bottom lip. "Please," she begged, reaching downward to touch herself. But before she could, he snagged her wrist away, shooting her disapproving look.
Xilä clutched a nearby pillow. Stuffing it into her face, she released a muffled, ragged scream. She was on the cusp, she could feel the rupture right there. All she needed was just a little more.
Finally taking pity on his poor mate, and on the verge of bursting himself, Neteyam gave in.
The hand that had been playing with her breasts- pinching and rolling her nipples, sailed downward to work her clit.
Xi panted and babbled incomprehensibly as he began to rub tight circles on her swollen nub. Her body was tense and shaking, feverishly awaiting the impending crash of her orgasm.
Her hand shot towards his moving wrist, squeezing desperately as her walls clenched around him, causing him to growl against her cheek.
Neteyam came first with a guttural groan, which pushed her right over the edge as she too came with a silent cry- body tense as she snapped. Almost on the verge of pain when she exploded, her thighs trembled- everything trembled as heat licked her inside out.
He continued to lazily thrust into her, pushing his seed as far in as possible, until he couldn't physically continue, limbs gone limp in protest.
They were both panting and spent as they laid still for a couple minutes, gathering their energy, basking in the aftermath.
Neteyam felt like sludge, he felt as if she'd taken everything from him, leaving him weak and boneless. Meanwhile Xi couldn't move a muscle as she recovered from her brain numbing high. She closed her eyes, fatigue fighting her.
It wasn't until Neteyam began to move her, did she rouse from a light doze.
"You're late," she chastised with a blissful smile as she settled more comfortably into the cocoon of his arms, feeling coming back to her numb toes and legs.
He made an offended sound. "Well good morning to you too," he laughed, gently easing his dick out of her. "I just gave you an orgasm. And a good fucking one at that. Are you really complaining?" he teased as he set her thigh down and rolled her onto her stomach to brandish a playful smack to her ass.
She squealed, gasping when he leaned over and bit the flesh he'd just smacked. Huffing at his antics, she complied when he manhandled her into his arms again- front facing him this time.
"How do you feel? Are you okay?" he asked, brushing her bed hair from her face. "You were quiet," he murmured with a frown, eyes tracing her features as if they would tell him what was wrong.
"You mean I wasn't screeching at the top of my lungs like a mountain banshee as usual?" she smiled, voice still soft. "I'm fine, promise. My throat's still a bit sore after last night," she admitted with a blush. "It hurts whenever I talk- but hey, it's nothing a bit of brewed char'mill leaf can't help," she quickly assured when she saw his horrified expression.
He grew panicked at her meaning. Spluttering, he said, "What? Oh shit, Xi. I'm sorry. I- fuck, I should've been more caref-"
Tugging him down by his nape, she shushed him, silencing him with a kiss. Lips and tongue forcing his squawk of protest away, halting his distress.
"Handsome, it's going to be light soon. You should get going," she suggested when they broke apart, trying to distract him from the topic.
"Xilä," he said seriously, cupping the back of her neck, trailing a thumb down her throat. He had fucked her mouth last night not realizing how rough he'd been. Guilt tore at him.
"Stop fretting," she chastised. "I'm already nervous about spending an entire day alone with your mother. You're not helping with that guilty expression of yours right now. It's too early and I'm too tired to make you stop worrying. I told you I'm fine, okay?" she said, forcing a funny looking smile on his face by pushing up the corners of his mouth with her thumbs.
"Fine- but say something next time. Please," he stated firmly, unmoving from the discussion.
'He was so bossy sometimes,' she thought, holding in a snicker. For his sake, she nodded in agreement anyway.
It would be too difficult to try to explain how she'd very much enjoyed what they had done last night, and that she was simply feeling the after effects. 
Disconnecting their queues, he untangled himself from her, and leaped out of their hammock. He hurriedly cleansed his body, chewing on fresh van'eela bark as he washed only the necessary parts of himself for now, before throwing on his warrior garb.
Xi eventually got up too, wrapping a woven blanket around her bare waist as she headed to their kitchenette.
She cleaned her hands first before putting her Qla'ira root tea on the fire. While it boiled she then began to leaf wrap a few thick slices of HoneyCornbread and some tender leftover seared fish.
Grabbing an empty water pouch, she met him at the tent's threshold where he was securing his knives to his chest and hip.
"Have I told you the guys are jealous of all the meals you pack me?" he asked, accepting his breakfast with a smile and a sweet kiss, bending to tuck it and his water pouch into his riding satchel. "All of a sudden the unmated ones want a wife now," he chuckled.
She laughed. "Should I start packing extra then?"
"No. You only get to spoil me," he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at her. "I've got a meeting later today, so we'll try for the hunt to not take too long."
"Be safe," she said, hugging him around the waist as he hooked up his comm device to his neck and ear. "Who's your hunting partner? Tasam again?"
He nodded, adjusting his visor, taming down a few askew braids.
Since the increase in palulukan attacks, there was a temporary ban on all solo activities outside of the perimeter of Home Camp- including solo hunts. Xi was relieved to hear Tasam would be accompanying her mate. He was sure to have Neteyam's back, out past the borders.
"You smell like me," he voiced, bending to nuzzle and lick at her neck. "Am I dripping down your thighs yet?" he asked, reaching through the flap of the blanket to drag his palm up her slick coated skin.
"Neteyam!" she laughed, mildly scandalized, stopping his hand before he made contact with her core. "Go already you skxawng. You are making me blush."
"You are pretty when you blush and I like when you smell like me. People know you are mine," he said, swiping a thumb along her swollen bottom lip.
Her blush deepened down to the tips of her flushed, exposed chest. "And you say you aren't barbaric," she teased.
He shrugged as he stepped away, swinging his bag on his back- the strap crossing his chest, bow in hand. "I am but a man who loves his woman, is all."
Xi internally swooned. "You should go now before I seduce you to stay. You keep saying things that make me feel needy, husband."
Neteyam laughed. A bubbling sound disrupted his response however.
His smile dropped and he pulled a face at his offending enemy when he glanced over her shoulder and saw the little pot on the fire, boiling. He could smell the fragrant scent of Qla'ira root from where he stood.
Clearing his throat and not meeting her eyes he said, "Hey um, if you're still sore, you should go lay down in that position I told you about the other day...you know the one with your hips in the air and the pillow under you? It's supposed to be a really good stretch."
Xilä snorted at her mate's subtlety. Hooking a finger into his belt, she tugged him close again- fronts pressing, bare breasts brushing his upper abs. "Ah the position, riiiight...you mean the one that humans use in order to aid in conceiving little ones?" she asked in faux confusion.
His jaw ticked at being found out, and Xi thought the whole thing was entirely entertaining. It was honestly incredibly cute how hard he tried.
"Nice try handsome," she said sweetly. "Now go, Tasam's probably furious that you've kept him so long."
"Fine," he said sourly, stealing a final kiss with a grumpy muffled, "love you,"before raising the flap to head out.
~
After breakfast, Xi hummed as she did a quick tidy of their home.
There wasn't really much to do, but the thick pelt lining their hammock was disgusting after numerous rounds of lovemaking, so she stripped it and put on a new one.
When she finished, she got herself ready for the day and took her time to braid her hair, making sure to put back Neteyam's gifted beads.
Her braiding skill had improved by far. For the most part, Tuk and D'avi loved to style her hair for her but Xi had to learn. Salveen had told her Omatikaya females usually braided their mates' hair once bonded. So Xi of course wanted to learn for Neteyam...and maybe too for their future children when the time came.
"Xilä," called an all too familiar gruff voice from outside her tent. "Are you there?"
Xi's humming ceased. She then scrambled to make her way to the entrance. Peaking out, she saw her father standing at the base of the steps leading to the tent. Her shoulders slumped in relief when she noticed he was guarded by three male Na'vi, all armed with guns.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, stepping out onto the landing, peering down at him in uncertainty.
T'shteyo's eyes narrowed at her response before schooling his face into something more uncharacteristically sincere. "It's been a while...I was badly injured. I thought you'd come visit me..."
When she gave no response he asked, "Won't you invite me in?"
Xi observed him, taking in how different he looked from the last time she saw him two months ago. Two months ago. So much had happened in her life since then. She was a wife now- she was no longer tied to him.
Her father looked good however. Well fed and healthy for someone who was rumored to be on his deathbed. The lingering bruises brandishing his body were the only tells he'd been in a fight.
A fleeting flash of guilt pierced her for not caring or even thinking about him during that time but the phantom ache of her wrist was the reminder she needed to not give a shit.
"Xilä?"
Blinking out of her reverie she shook her head. "No. I'm not going to invite you in," she said, hiding the tremor of her hands by folding her arms. "What do you want?"
He sighed, clearly unhappy with her response yet his face remained passive. "I'm being exiled tomorrow...I came to say- I don't know," he frowned, seeming to have trouble putting his words together. "Those two months of solitude gave me much to think about...I should have done some things differently...it could have been better. We could have been happy."
Xi stared, fidgeting ceased. 'Was he trying to apologize? No. He was capable of no such thing,' she reminded herself.
"Say something," he said.
"What would you like me to say?"
He looked taken aback by that.
"Would you like me to hug you goodbye? Wish you safe travels and tell you that I will miss you? I wish I could. I wish it hadn't come to this."
"It doesn't. If you ask them to let me stay-"
"I can't do that," she said with a frown, cutting him off.
"Can't? Or won't?" he spat, showing her a glimpse of his inner monster for a split second. His features quickly morphed back into that ugly polite expression of his that had her unnerved.
Xilä said nothing.
"It's fine," he scoffed. "What's done is done. I'll be going, I guess."
"Father, wait..." she said, and his head flickered back to her, pausing his departure. "I truly do wish you well and...thank you," she said softly, surprising him, "for bringing us here. For taking me with you. I gained a home and happiness...and I pray you find the same thing one day."
T'shteyo's lips curled into a smile. It felt foreign seeing him look so sincere. He nodded at her once in parting before motioning to the guards he was ready to leave. And without another word, without another glance, he left.
Xilä released the breath she'd been holding as she watched him walk away. This would be the last time she ever saw him, she realized. She searched her inner being for some form of sadness, but there was none.
'This is good,' she thought.
Her father being gone meant she could finally move on without that lingering nagging reminder that he was still around.
This would be a fresh start, not only for her but for him too.
~
By the time Neytiri and Tuk showed up, Xilä had gotten a grip on her emotions.
The duo had arrived with a basket full of goodies and an announcement by an overly excited Tuk, that they'd be spending the day out at a nearby glade.
Although Xi was originally a wreck of nerves at the prospect of spending the day with her mother-in-law, she quickly realized there was no need to. Neytiri was easy going and quite lovely company to be honest.
The day spent together with the Sully females was enjoyable. They picnicked near a waterfall where other roaming clusters of friends and families milled about as well. Their conversation flowed from topic to topic with ease and Xi felt relaxed and carefree as they lounged.
Tuk deserted them at some point, choosing to chase after fluttering woodsprites. She grew bored of those too then trotted off to dip her feet in the pool of rippling water where a few others were also doing the same and Xi and Neytiri watched her with matching smiles as a peaceful silence washed over them.
"Xi," Neytiri, called gently, breaking the quiet between them. Hesitantly, she asked, "Will you tell me about your mother?"
Words eluded Xilä from the sudden question and Neytiri, picking up on her shock, was quick to calm her.
"It is only of course if you want to. I don't mean to pry- well I do actually but- When I asked before...Sal and Neteyam both said it was not their story to tell...I simply wish to know."
Awkwardly shifting under her in-law's gaze and feeling her throat tighten, Xi avoided her stare.
"What would you like to know?" she croaked.
Neytiri laid a palm over her hand in comfort. "Where is she?"
"Gone."
"Gone...gone where? Why? Did- did your father send her away."
Xilä shrugged. "In his own way, maybe he did...He has never been a kind man, but over time he became worse. My mother- I think there was only so much she could take. Sometimes it felt like he was rubbing off on her- she'd always push me hard in my studies...but sometimes was cruel."
Xi took a breath before continuing. "There were plans to escape- months of planning. I never told my father because I thought-"
Staring out unseeingly, Xi swallowed hard. "My mother and a small group stole away one night and I thought- I thought she'd take me with her. I saw when she snuck away. I tried to run after her, but she...she told me to stay."
Neytiri's brows narrowed.
"She told me to remember everything she'd taught me...and then she just...left." Xilä blinked rapidly trying to tame the sting of her eyes. "She didn't even look back...not once."
"She left you," Neytriri said, voice laced in a quiet rage. "She chose to leave without you?"
Xi nodded and that seemed to irk the mother even more.
"Where is she now? Do you know?"
"The Wetlands maybe. Rumors said they went to the Hulanta clan. I don't know for sure."
Neytiri scoffed, glancing away. "She left you," she muttered to herself again, jaw jutting in fury as she pursed her lips. "She left her only child."
Xilä would bet that her mother-in-law was probably mentally cursing her mother. The thing was, she hadn't even told her the whole story- just the gist of it. And the fact that Xi hadn't even told her everything, she felt touched by Neytiri's reaction all the same.
The night she told Sal and Jxo everything about her past, Xi was in shambles after. It was a long emotional night for them all, ending when Jxo left the tent without comment- angry tears and silent outrage rolling off of him in waves.
Meanwhile Sal sobbed hysterically as if all what Xilä had said had physically hurt her- had physically caused her pain.
Neteyam had found out the story in bits and pieces, through scattered conversations during their training days.
From since early on in their friendship he'd had a knack for getting her to open up. And although most times he'd be quiet and brooding after she'd share something new about her past, he never made her feel bad over it.
If anything, he'd constantly remind her of how strong she was, that she was safe, that she was never going back there.
"Over his dead body," was what he'd say.
And Mo'at. Well Mo'at was the first soul she'd ever told. Tsahìk was the first person to hold her while she cried as she spewed the truth. And though Xi had seen a crack in the elder's demeanor, Mo'at was strong- she showed Xi true strength.
"Thank you for telling me...you didn't have to, but I'm glad you did. Being a mother, deep down I needed to know," she confessed, tone soft as squeezed Xilä's hand again, comforting as best she could. "You deserved so much better my child," she said sadly. "Parents who loved you."
Xilä gave her a wobbly smile. "It's in the past now. And I have Sal and Jxo, they are my parents...It- it may sound horrible to say this, but...I would live through it all over again if it meant I'd end up here. I found a home. I found Neteyam," she declared.
Neytiri stared at her through shining eyes. "You know, I prayed Eywa would bless my son with someone strong. Someone with heart. Someone the people would admire and stand by. Someone who would love my 'Teyam down to the core of his being...I thank Eywa for answering my prayers. I thank Eywa for blessing us with you, Xilä."
If it wasn't for the interruption of an oblivious to the moment and overly animated Tuk, Xi knew she'd have burst into happy tears.
~
Later that night as Xi puttered around their kitchenette, she told her husband about her day. She left out the part about her and Neytiri's little heart to heart however.
"-oh, and the waterfall was amazing! We should go sometime for a date night. What do you think, handsome?"
"Sounds good, baby," her mate mumbled distractedly.
She glanced at him and snorted in amusement.
He was crouched at their workstation, frowning in concentration. Xi had put him to work, asking him to dice the root vegetables she'd layed out for dinner. The poor man was incredibly focused on the task at hand, cursing under his breath when he realized the pieces weren't cubed as she'd asked him to cut.
It wasn't usual for them to have dinner at home. Most evenings they ate with the rest of the clan or with either of their families but Neteyam had asked her to stay in tonight and she didn’t mind one bit.
He was reserved when he got home, she'd noticed but she didn't comment on it. She knew he'd eventually open up when he was ready.
When they'd finished preparing a hearty stew, they made themselves comfortable around the beautiful table Jxo had crafted. The main room felt cozy too since her husband, ever the romantic, had lit little candles all over the space.
Conversation flowed between the two as they ate. Half way through their meal however, he'd had enough distance from her.
"Come here," he said, patting his lap, pulling her into the cradle of his thighs before she could try to move herself. He kissed her ear before offering her a bite of food.
"You know I can feed myself, right?" she laughed, accepting the vegetable anyway.
"Humor me," he smiled, popping a piece of tender meat into her mouth this time before licking the juice off his fingertips.
"So, I have to tell you something," he said, after chewing on a bite of his own.
"Oh?" She turned to see him better, giving her full attention.
"There's a small team flying out to the C'ontiqu mountains tomorrow," he said, mindlessly wiping away a drop of sauce from the corner of her mouth and sucking it off his thumb. "It'll be a two day- three day trip at most, just to clear the area and mark it as a safe zone...I'll be heading the trip though."
"Oh...this is for the whole, war clean up thing, right?"
He nodded, "Yeah, the RDA left their marks all over Pandora. It's a long overdue project but it'd be worth it in the end. Better to be safe than to stumble onto an old landmine ten years from now."
She nodded. "Alright...I miss you already," she said, hugging him round the waist. And it was the truth, she felt a little pang of sadness from his news. It also occurred to her that this would be their first time apart from each other for longer than a few hours.
As if reading her mind, he lifted her chin and bent to kiss her jaw in apology. "I'll be back before you know it, sweetheart. And hey, you've got that practice with Lo'ak and his trainees tomorrow, so you'll be plenty busy and distracted until I get back."
Lo'ak had been promoted a few days ago. Since then he'd promised her a place on his team for whenever she wanted to improve her skills, citing he'd be, "a much better mentor than her skxawng husband."
"That's true," she replied. "And maybe I'll invite my parents over the next day? They haven't been over since we moved in," she pondered, already thinking of inviting D'avi and her family as well.
"See? I bet you won't even notice I'm gone."
"I'll notice," she frowned, snapping her head up to eye him.
Neteyam openly stared. Gaze roaming over her features, he observed her as if trying to memorize every inch of her face.
"What?" she asked, lips quirking upwards in amusement. She poked his cheek, waking him from his thoughts. "What?" she laughed.
"Nothing...I'm just trying to decide whether to fuck you and fill you with my come tonight and cuddle you in the morning, or to cuddle you all night then fuck you and fill you in the morning. It's a kind of a tough decision," he said in faux seriousness.
Her eyes glinted and she bit her lip to stifle her laughter. Her husband was always saying such wild things. Half the time she either blushed so furiously, she was pretty sure she turned purple all over. The other half of the time she couldn't help cracking up at his absurdity.
"Liar," she said, fighting a grin. "Tell me the truth."
His knuckles caressed her cheek. "Fine...I'll miss you, is all," he mumbled. "You're turning me soft, you know that?" he teased in mock fury, shuffling her around so she straddled his thigh, large hands palming over the skin of her waist. "How'd you manage to have me wrapped around your little finger? Don't you know I have a reputation to uphold?"
Xi scoffed. "Everyone already knows you're soft for me though. So I don't know who you're trying to foo- OW! That hurt!" she complained, swatting his hand away to rub at her stinging backside.
He had flipped up her skirt to smack her on the butt because of her sass.
"Want me to kiss it better?" he asked with a wild grin, leaning forward to nip her pouting bottom lip.
"I don't trust you near my ass, honestly," she said, gaining a loud cackle from her mate who tossed his head back with a hoot.
When they finished their meal, they decided to go out for a night stroll. Xilä loved observing the activity of the clan around this time.
Hunters, gathers, fishermen, warriors, healers, all reuniting with their families and settling in.
The smokehouses and food tents were stocked with the day's harvest and prepped for the next day.
Teenagers mingled about until the last second-until they were called home by their yelling parents.
And Xi love to hear the muffled conversations and laughter emitting from homes when they strolled pass.
It was comforting.
It was home.
"Hey, can we take the ikrans out when you get back? Journey is going to miss her boyfriend. Buddy is so much more calm around her," she mused.
He groaned in mild annoyance. "Xi, baby. They aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. Stop listening to Tuk's make believe stories...But yeah, we can do that when I get back."
She grinned triumphantly, plastering herself to his side even more as they continued walking.
"'Teyam," she said, remembering something. "Tell me the joke you didn't want your father to say the other day."
"No."
"Why not?" she grumbled.
He sighed, shooting her a fleeting side eyed stare. "Baby, you'll only be embarrassed, trust me."
"Wait...am I part of the story?" she asked in suspicion.
Neteyam bit the inside of his cheek. He contemplated whether he should say. "You remember that one night I ate you out behind the labs?"
Xi stopped walking, peeling herself away from him. "What about it?" she asked in dread.
Her husband wiped a palm down his face with groan. "I sent you away after, remember?"
She nodded, clearly remembering it was when they'd still been fooling around. Neteyam had dragged her behind a link shack, determined to have his way with her.
"Well I uh-" he cleared his throat, "I stayed behind to take care of um, my-" he gestured to his dick. "I was just sneaking back out from our spot when dad and Gwuyle caught sight of me. It was kind of obvious apparently...And even more so, when you came back."
The moment clicked for Xilä when she realized what happened after.
"Oh Great Mother," she said, hiding her face.
"Yep."
That night, Xi had returned to the side of the labs when she noticed she'd forgotten her undercloth. Jake, his second in command and Neteyam were all further away, talking by the time she'd gotten there.
They'd all shot her varying looks she was too distracted to interpret, and not wanting to interrupt them, she walked ahead and snuck back behind the trailer to search for the abandoned flimsy material that was torn off her.
Unbeknownst to her, Neteyam was the only one to feel the knowing stares from his dad and his second, embarrassment clouding his face as they so clearly put the pieces together, figuring out what he and Xi had been up too.
The worst part- the part he decided to keep to himself, was when Gwuyle smirked and said, "Brother, you've got a bit of something right here," as he pointed to the corner of his own mouth.
Neteyam flushed, hastily wiping away the remnants of Xi's slick, while Jake coked on air and averted eyes before quickly changing the topic.
"I am never looking your father in the eyes again," Xi stated in utter mortification.
He laughed in agreement. "Aww, baby. I'm sorry," he sang in awe of her cuteness. He pulled her into his arms so she could hide from the world as she cursed him.
Grinning into her hair, he received his scolding without complaint. He knew damn well it was all his fault.
~
Neteyam was wrong.
Xi did notice his absence. She missed him like crazy.
On the first night, she barely slept, not only due to his missing presence but also because she was completely alone. She was half tempted to sneak into the little room she had at her parents' place.
She hated being lonely.
Xi woke extremely early on the second day after a shitty night of sleep. Stretching out her sore muscles, she snuggled into Neteyam's side of the hammock, wishing he were there.
Even though she hadn't chosen Warrior as her path, her husband still pushed her to keep at her training when she could and Lo'ak- the liar, was brutal on her and his group of trainees yesterday.
He made them run through drill after drill with no remorse. So it was no surprise that her body was aching, tired and begging for one of her mate's delicious, full body massages.
It was still quite dark out so Xi mentally planned her day as she relaxed.
She had an early morning class in a few hours with Tsahìk who no longer referred to Xi's lessons as healer training, but Tsahìk training.
And after that, Sal and Jxo were coming by for a late lunch, so she made a quick note to get her laundry out of the way before then.
Xi also had to request some cloth from the tapestry tents since the skirt she wore to training yesterday was badly torn. She would have to sew a new one- or maybe she'd just ask her mother to do it.
Her thoughts were interrupted however when she heard a nearby twig snap. Thinking nothing of it, she closed her eyes, intending to go back to sleep for a few more hours. But then another rustle was heard from just outside her tent- too close for comfort this time.
Ears twitching, she strained to hear if the sound was just her imagining things.
It was far too early for visitors, so Xilä slung herself out of bed and headed out into the main room. She frowned when she saw a shadow grow at the tent's entrance and gasped when her father pushed the flap aside and strode in, completely uninvited.
"Nice to see you again, Xilä," T'shteyo said pleasantly, eyes greedily taking in the interior of her home- walking about as if he owned it.
Shock taking hold, Xilä stared, completely at a loss for words.
He was supposed to be gone.
Jake and a team of warriors had personally escorted her father out of the Omatikaya forest yesterday. Jxo had even told her that they'd sent him off with more than a generous amount of provisions.
Fear rippled down her spine and her jaw hung in disbelief. "What are you doing here? Please leave," she managed to get out.
"You didn't think I was actually going to leave without you, did you?" he asked, head titled as he seemed to be admiring the colorful tapestry hanging Neteyam had gotten made for her.
"How'd you think I did with my goodbye speech? I thought I did quite well- Oh come now, don't look at me like that. Don't you remember? I told you, we are going back home. About damn time too."
She gaped at him. He was crazy. He had to have been. "Father...you need to leave, I-"
"Didn't you hear me girl? Pack your shit. Let's go."
"No!" she snapped.
He looked almost stunned for a moment before he was quickly advancing on her.
She jumped at his sudden movement, scrambling backwards on shaky legs. Xi tripped, knocking over a basket of sewing materials, knee colliding with the fort of assembled cushions and blankets Tuk had made when she, Lo'ak, Kiri and Spider visited last night.
Her father made a wild grab for her but she dodged him, causing him to run into Neteyam's collection of weapons- a few of them clattering to the floor with a loud CLANG.
Xi made a run for the tent's threshold but he caught her, grabbing hold of her queue, fingers clenched tight while she cried out in pain.
Thinking fast, she rammed her head backwards, catching him in the face with force.
She made a dive for one of the fallen weapons, snagging a small dagger just in the nick of time.
"Stop!" she yelled hysterically, brandishing the knife in front of her as she backed away.
The Li'ona male had no care however, he advanced towards her, dodging her skilled swings of the weapon, trying to catch her wrist.
Xi managed to nick him twice before slicing a deep gash to his stomach.
When he was momentarily stunned by the cut she inflicted, Xi used the opportunity to stab the short blade into his shoulder, twisting it for added measure. He roared in pain and anger and Xi made another attempt to flee.
She screamed when he clamped a fistful of her hair and roughly slammed her to the ground. Xi rolled and kicked his knee with all her might, making him buckle and grunt in pain. She crawled on all fours, trying to get to the exit but it was futile.
T'shteyo grabbed her ankle and dragged her backwards, rolling her over to restrain her thrashing. She struggled against him and scratched at his face- fingers digging into his flesh as he growled and seethed.
Xi released a gut wrenching scream for help- hoping someone would possibly be up or nearby at this hour but she was just as quickly silenced.
T'shteyo smacked her cheek so hard she went mute. Seeing stars as her cheek stung bad, she whimpered.
Her father stood at his full height, pulling her up with him as his palms circled her throat, squeezing whilst he fixed her with a murderous glare.
She clawed at the backs of the hands crushing her windpipe- her fingernails drawing blood as she struggled for breath, her feet dangling off the floor.
She was no match for him.
"P- p- please-" she gurgled when he tightened his grip.
"Try that shit again, and I'll kill you," he threatened. "Answer me."
"Ye-" she made a choking noise, blinking frantically as her vision swam.
"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to pack your shit like I told you and then we are going back to Li'ona. Understood?"
He let her go and she crumbled, catching herself on center table, gasping and coughing as she cupped her bruised neck. He laughed when she tried to call for help again but was unable to. "Now you can't scream."
Xi's throat burned and frightened tears stained her cheeks.
Panicked now that she couldn't yell for help, she tried to make another dash for the exit but he fisted her hair again- pulling at the roots painfully.
Ignoring her cries of hurt, he dragged her by the braids as she tripped over her feet, leading her towards her and Neteyam's private quarters.
He shoved her onto the bed roughly and backhanded her for the trouble she caused him.
He winced, looking down at the knife still embedded in his shoulder. With a simple tug he removed it, barely blinking an eye at the blood gushing from his wound.
Tearing apart a blanket from her bed, he dabbed away the excess blood. Taking a fresh strip, he tied the cloth tightly to his injury. And then, turning away, he began rifling through their possessions, stuffing item after item into a spare sack he found.
"Pack!" he barked, making her flinch.
She was too terrified to move however.
He admired one of Neteyam's chokers before taking it too. "It will go well with my staff once Su'ko returns my title to me. After all, what I've offered him, the bastard couldn't possibly refuse," he said almost conversationally.
He smiled when he found the boots Sal had made for her and tossed them at her, catching her in the face. "For the weather," he snarled, shouldering his stolen items onto his good shoulder.
Xi stared at the pretty boots in her lap- she hadn't worn them in months.
"I- I don't want to fight Father..." her voice was hoarse, raw from the trauma he'd inflicted to her throat. "I don't- I'm not going. My life is here...please don't do this."
She was shaking, fear rooting her to the spot. She was almost mad at herself for not fighting harder, for seeming to forget everything Neteyam had taught her in their lessons- for not trying to escape at the first sight of the man before her- for forgetting what he was truly capable of.
"Well tough because I didn't ask what you wanted, did I? I need you to complete the deal anyway," he said, walking back out into the main room.
Xi blinked, mind blank as she tried to process the situation. She gingerly walked toward the main room again, holding her side with a wince. T'shteyo was busy stuffing another pack now with the food from her kitchenette- blocking her from escaping.
"What deal?" she couldn't help asking, quietly.
He merely glanced at her. "You."
"M-me?"
"Su'ko sent a message. He agreed to take you in exchange for the title," he said mindlessly, moving on to scrutinize her husband's scattered weapons, stealing a few as he spoke. "He gets a whore and I become Olo'eyktan once again. A fair fucking deal if you ask me."
Xi blanched. "What? No- I am already mated! Neteyam is my hus-"
"That love sick fool is nothing! You're lucky he's not here tonight. I was planning on killing him before we left."
At the fleeting thought of her father killing her mate, fear and nausea wrecked Xilä.
"I gave no permission for him to have you. I decide who you are given to. Me! Don't forget it. We are not forest pests. It is not our way."
"Then what was the point of us fleeing here father?!" she yelled as loudly as she could manage. "Su'ko wants us dead, and you're going to- give me- to him? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Completely enraged, her words hissed like venom, "I am Omatikaya. I am the wife of the future Olo'eyktan, daughter-in-law of Toruk Makto! I will be Tsahìk. So you will treat me with resp-"
SMACK!
Xi crumbled in a heap to the floor from the blow and T'shteyo crouched in front of her to grip her jaw hard, forcing her to look up at him.
He smiled cynically and said in a calm, almost conversational manner, "Oh, but you are nothing, darling, you are beneath me. So fuck you and your plea for respect. You disappoint me Xilä. What about our ways? What about our people? Do you not care?"
He shoved her away looking disgusted. "Of course you don't care. You are just like her. Just like your fucking mother. I should've killed the bitch when I had the chance." He spat a blob of saliva at her as he got to his feet again, striding over to his loot to continue his packing.
Xi blinked back tears as crimson liquid pooled from her mouth. It was staining the pretty floor tapestry her in-law's had gifted them. Her ribs ached from when he'd tossed her to the ground and her cheek burned, she was sure that it was split open.
The clinking of glass had her head flicking up. The items in her father's hands were foreign- obviously from the lab.
A needle and a clear vial.
"You know, these blood demons aren't as useless as I thought," he said, clumsily filling the syringe with liquid from the vial. "The fuckers kept me...what was it they called it? Oh right sedated with these funny little contraptions. Wasn't hard to steal a couple while they weren't watching," he smirked.
Xilä's stomach clenched in fear.
"Get over here," he ordered, walking towards her. "You've stalled me long enough. Let's go already. I want to get away while it's still dark out," he ordered, "and before the chaos begins."
She shook her head frantically, trying to back away but it was no use. He grabbed her throat roughly and stuck her with the point. Xi gasped at the slight prick on her neck, frowning up at him in confusion when he released her.
"What was that?" she demanded, fingertips pressing at her skin in terror.
Limbs turning heavy, she blinked rapidly as darkness began to cloud her vision. Her head swam and she felt herself begin to slip away.
"Wah id yoo doooo," she slurred.
Panicked, she eyed the exit to her tent. If she could just move- if she could just scream.
Just before Xilä's eyes rolled up into her head- just before she collapsed into the abyss, she heard the loud familiar roar of a palulukan, followed by a slew of screams.
~
Neteyam was shaken awake by a member of his team. Immediately alert as he sat up, his eyes darted around for sources of danger.
"What is it?"
"Neteyam," Tasam said gravely. "There's call waiting for you. It's the chief's personal line. Answer it, quickly."
Fumbling with the earpiece he had popped off before going to sleep, he frowned as he watched his team hurriedly packing up their makeshift camp, called ikrans flying towards them at speed.
On his feet, he pressed on the device circling his neck, "Sir, you there?"
"Neteyam...bro, it's me." It was Lo'ak...and he sounded, off.
"What in Eywa's name is going on brother? Why is my team scrambling at this hour? We're set to leave first thing in the morn-"
"Neteyam."
Neteyam stilled in trepidation. Hearing the seriousness in Lo'ak's tone filled him with dread.
"I don't know how to say this but- look you need to come home alright? It's Xilä-"
"What about Xilä?!" he shouted, ignoring the concerned glances from his team as they hustled around.
"She's gone man. She- we can't find her. We think something happened- we think it was T'shteyo." Blood rushed in Neteyam's ears, muffling the rest of his brother's words. "We have units out searching for hours now-"
"Hours?! How long has she been missing? Why the fuck are you only telling me this now!" he hissed as he grabbed his bow and bag, blowing out a loud whistle as he strode straight to the edge of the cliff they were camped out at.
"I'm sorry but we thought we'd find her by now. There was an attack and- It's like she disappeared into fucking air! There are no tracks, her ikran is still here-"
"Have all the borders been checked?" Neteyam asked, mounting Buddy the moment he landed, flying off immediately- his team following behind.
"Yes, multiple times! We have teams set up incase they-"
"Who was the last person to see her?" Neteyam demanded, cutting his brother off again as he urged his banshee to fly faster, the wind whipping his braids backwards.
"I was. We all hung out late at your place and-"
"When did you realize she was missing? How long till someone noticed?!"
"Bro will you calm d-"
"Don't you tell me to calm down, Lo'ak! My mate is missing! MISSING! She is missing while I have been here strolling through a fucking mountain when I should have been out there searching for her! But no I wasn't, know why? Because I wasn't told anything until HOURS later! So don't you dare tell me to fucking calm down!"
He ended the connection and urged Buddy to go faster, praying to Eywa to keep his wife safe and praying for sanity since he felt himself spiraling.
There was one thing for certain however. If it truly was T'shteyo behind his mate's sudden disappearance...
Neteyam knew.
Without a doubt.
He was going to kill him.
~
I would just like to apologize in advance...as a reader who absolutely detests cliff hangers herself, I'm so so sorry.
But I do hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. I can't promise when the next part will be out, so please bear with me lovelies.
And of course, once again a big special shout out and hug to my friend Tori. 💛
As always thank you for reading, please let me know your thoughts :)
Tags: @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @granddearduck @riatesullironalite @strawberri-blonde @earthling55 @innercreationflower @duckworthbean @gyuventure @btsiguess-kpop @blkmystery @neteswife @luvteyams @isnt-itstrange @erenjaegerwifee
If you'd like to be tagged or I forgot you by accident, please let me know.
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mymegrokosmos · 1 month ago
Text
Jeonghan - Paradise
The way that you're dancing in the moonlight. I think I'm falling in love with all these big signs.
I really just have to make Jeonghan x Reader angsty and hurt myself. Anyway, happy ending? Background for this one - Mutual obsession, not sure it’s healthy but you both cope by using each other. At the end of the day you’re the only one who really understands. You call it love but you’re both still fucking around seeing other people on the side. Eventually it's time to sit down and make your relationship exclusive after agonizing for a while over whether it’s really real or just you both wanting the version of the other person that you think they should be.
Enjoy I guess?
You shouldn’t be here. You know this. He knows this. And yet, when Jeonghan’s name shows up on your phone screen you don’t ignore it like you know you should. You pick up. When he pleads for you to meet him at the beach, you don’t say no. So here you are, again, shivering as you make your way across the sand at some unholy hour to find the man standing under the moonlight staring out at the sea.
He looks beautiful like this. He always does. When he turns, and that smile that means he’s about to rip your heart out again without really meaning it, the light paints his profile in silver. You could swear he glows. If he was anyone else you’d swear he was an angel but Yoon Jeonghan, if there's anything angelic about him anymore, must have fallen from grace a long time ago.
The way he beckons has you shaking your head but when he steps out of his shoes, and then his pants, wading into the water in nothing but a pair of dark boxers, you follow without a word.
Once, you would have done anything he asked. Maybe you still would if he asked sweetly enough. He’s good at that. At asking ridiculous things in ways that make them feel so normal you don’t stop to think until you realize you’re too far in to back out. Until you get home and wonder where you went wrong, how you got here, but yet still agree to the next big scheme without learning your lesson.
He seems so perfect from the outside. Handsome. Polite. Sweet. A gentleman. A catch. A little sarcastic, with the cutest little laugh, and so effortlessly stylish models would be jealous. Your mother still asks when you’re going to make him her perfect son in law. Once, you thought he might deserve that title.
Until you took him off the pedestal he had been placed upon by the person you wanted him to be and reality hit instead. He’s far from perfect but then so are you. You watch him as you wade deeper, wondering once again why you would follow this man into the depths if he so much as suggested it. He must have been a siren in a former life because you think you would gladly drown just for the chance to glimpse upon Yoon Jeonghan up close like this.
The water is warmer than you expected, as you sink up to your chest, and you stop to watch the way he ducks under the surface for a minute. The droplets cling to his perfect skin as he pushes his hair back out of his flawless face. He might have been sculpted by heaven. You’d believe Michelangelo made this man.
“You always did look so pretty in the moonlight.”
You roll your eyes but can’t help the way the corner of your lips tilt up just slightly. “And you’re a flirt who probably tells every woman you’ve seen this week that same thing.”
He shakes his head, not denying that there have been others. There always are. It’s part of what keeps this cycle fucking with your head. You both keep coming back to each other but still straying. He’s been a constant since the first time you kissed at a party when you were sixteen, one game of spin the bottle setting off a decade of on and off flings and everything in-between with the man in front of you. You’re finally ready to admit that maybe you’ve had enough when he speaks again.
“You’re the only one I ever bring here. The only one who’s ever heard that line. Who ever will.”
You snort, arms crossing over your chest. “Nice try casanova, but I don’t believe that for a second.”
Something like hurt flashes in his eyes for just a second before he turns to look back at the beach behind you. “I deserve that.”
You shake your head, sinking a little deeper into the water. Maybe if your chest is covered you won’t feel so vulnerable. So naked under that gaze. Something about the way he looks at you, those brown eyes piercing through every layer of your soul, always seems to get through to the very core of you. He sees everything you try to hide. He knows you too well, knows every tick and tell. He sees parts of you that you don’t know how he found but he always seems to break right through every wall you put up without even trying. It’s part of why you keep coming back. All these years later and that hasn’t changed.
“You deserve worse than that. I should have blocked you a long time ago. I should turn around right now and leave you here alone and change my number. Move away. Do anything but listen.”
He blinks at you. “But you won’t.”
You sigh. “But I won’t.”
You stay in silence for a few minutes. It’s never felt more tense. Not with Jeonghan.
“I’m sorry.”
You don’t think you’ve ever heard him say those words before. Your eyes snap to him. He doesn’t look away, eyes meeting yours. You can read the sincerity in them. You don’t know what to say. So you say nothing.
“I should have said that a long time ago. I just didn’t know how. And then everything spiraled and I’d waited too long and it didn’t feel like enough anymore.”
You shrug. “Back then, it might not have been.”
“And now?”
You consider him. “How long has it been?”
His smile is sad, not the mischievous life filled entity that usually sends shivers down your spine, and that’s how you know he’s not lying. Not this time.
“Months.”
You stand. “Since when?”
“Your birthday. The bonfire here on the beach.”
“When I got drunk and kissed Cheol?”
He nods. You see the way he swallows, struggling with what he’s about to say next. You know this admission is going to cost him something. So you listen.
“I’ve never wanted to kill him, not really, except then. Only, I had no right to feel that way. You were free to do whatever you liked with whoever you liked. We’ve never been exclusive.”
“Maybe that was part of our problem.”
He smiles again, nodding as he leans back to look up at the moon. “Maybe it was. Can’t run away if there’s nowhere to go when you’re trying to hide from the inevitable.”
You smile this time. “You act like having feelings is some kind of curse.”
His face is serious as he meets your eyes this time. “If only you knew how rent free you’ve lived in my brain for ten years now.”
You take a deep breath, Decide it’s now or never. If you take this plunge and end up drowning maybe you’ll finally call it quits with him.
“Then show me.”
He doesn’t hesitate.
You wake up still cradled in blankets that smell like Jeonghan’s cologne, head pillowed on his arm. Back pressed to his chest, his breath in your ear, his hands tracing shapes on your waist. You shiver and lips you would know anywhere press softly to your shoulder.
“What does this mean?”
You take a minute, rub the sleep out of your eyes and roll onto your back to meet his eyes. “For us or in general?”
He reaches over to trace his thumb over your bottom lip. “Is there still an us left to fix?”
You smile softly. “I think that there might just be enough of us to salvage. If you’re serious this time.”
His expression is curious.
“If we try again, this is the last time. We’re all in. We’re monogamous. It’s just us. And we either really mean it or I’m finally done.”
You reach up to cup his jaw. “You sure?”
He nods. Takes a minute to study your face and nods again. “Okay.”
“Darling, I’ve tried everything I can think of for a decade. I can’t live without you. It sucks. So yeah.”
You want to believe him this time. So you do. You hold out your pinky. He grins, linking your fingers and pulling you up to rest against his chest. Long since dry, you slip back into your clothes with a little help and that’s when he brings out the bottle of soju from his jacket.
“You’re insane.”
“I think this deserves at least a little celebration.”
You shake your head but you’re smiling as he pops it open and offers you the first sip.
“Do you remember when we first met?”
“In Hansol’s basement during our first year of high school or that party Seungcheols parents still don’t know about?”
He laughs and it’s the most beautiful sound you think you’ve ever heard. No matter that it’s the billionth time you’ve heard it. Every sound he makes draws you further in, like a moth to a flame.
“Vernon’s basement.”
You just grin. He sighs and shakes his head.
You nod, head resting against his shoulder as you bury yourself deeper into the sweater that still smells of him weeks later. “You were such a loser back then.”
“Excuse me, you met me through your friends.”
“You were terrible at Mario Kart but you made Seungkwan laugh harder than anyone I’ve ever met besides Seokmin.”
You shake your head. “Why is that the first thing you remember?”
He shrugs. “You were cute, but that wouldn’t have mattered if my friends didn’t like you. You and Vernon were always glued at the hip, and I was curious why he stuck so close to you until you came over and even Minghao liked you right away.”
You shake your head. “He took a while to come around. So did Wonwoo. Jun and Jihoon were cautious for a while too.”
He shrugs. “It made me curious about you.”
You sit in silence for a minute, nursing the bottle while he plays with your fingers. The breeze blowing through his dark hair makes you smile, it’s so ruffled but still it suits him. 
“That’s dangerous.”
“Mm, tell me about it.”
“So, you and Seungcheol?”
You sigh. “You could ask him, you know.”
He scrunches his nose at you. “That feels like crossing a line.”
“When has that ever stopped you before?”
He blinks. You sigh.
“Nothing happened. He was a perfect gentleman. He took me home, tucked me into bed and slept on the couch to make sure I wasn’t too hung over in the morning.”
He hums softly, relaxing slightly. If he was anyone else you might not have noticed but you’re so tuned into every aspect of Jeonghan.
“Is it awful that I’m happy you two never worked out?”
You laugh softly. “No, he said the same thing. About him and me, not us.”
Jeonghan looks at you. “I feel less mean about it then.”
You smile at him, reaching up to brush your thumb over his cheek. “Cheol is like a brother to me, he’s a great friend but that’s all we are and all we’ve ever really been.”
“Good, because you’re mine. For real this time.”
“You’re still terrible at sharing.”
He frowns. “Hey, I share my friends with you.”
“Do I count?”
“Not really.”
You stretch, getting up and holding out a hand. He takes it, raising a brow at you when you reach for his phone. He lets you slip it out of his pocket. You open his playlist, finding the one he thinks you don’t know about. The one with no name, just a little heart, and press play. Your song starts. The one that had been playing when you left the room where all your friends sat, flushed from drinking and embarrassment, only to feel a hand take you by the wrist and lead you into the nearest bathroom.
You’d barely turned to face him as he locked the door behind you both before his lips were on yours. Jeonghan hadn’t left you alone since. Not really.
He grins, but you see the way the tips of his ears go red as he takes you by the waist and pulls you into a slow spin. You sway with him, head on his chest as you listen to the way his heart beats faster even while he pretends to act cool about it.
“If I’m yours, then you’re mine Hannie.”
He hums, pressing a kiss against the top of your head. “Planning to keep me this time?”
You nod.
“I think maybe I can live with that.”
“Maybe?”
“I’m still thinking about it.”
You can hear his smile as you narrow your eyes at your boyfriend. “You’re still on thin ice, mister.”
“I know how to skate.”
You snort. He grins.
“You’d better be sure.”
“I don’t know, you’re kind of annoying.”
“And you’re kind of an asshole.”
He pouts. “Well, yes, but we knew that. You like me anyway.”
You sigh. “You’re so lucky that I love you.”
You’re not sure you’ve ever seen his smile so bright. And just like that, you know. Despite everything it took to get here, answering his call tonight wasn’t a mistake. Not this time.
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softandsourcream · 1 year ago
Text
Stop, you’re losing me~ - two
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pairing: idol! yoongi x vet!f reader.
Words: 8,5k
genre(s): angst, hurt- comfort, slow burn, fluff, smut (+18) (not this one tho)
au(s): childhood friends - to lovers, idol yoongi, normal vet reader, entertainment industry, denial and resentment.
Episode warnings: complicated relationship with food, description of diseases, curse words, family drama, grief, loss of loved ones, damaged mental health, a LOT of struggling.
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IMPORTANT: this fic contains a lot of sensitive topics touched upon explicitly. Please, if any of the tags trigger something in you, stop reading. You are more important, and there is much more content you can consume here. Take care please! ♡
enjoy!
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main masterlist
—————————•。・. two゜・。________________
“Y/N, honey~”
Okay, wait. Here. It was from here where you remembered.
 
You were at home, in the bed that was almost yours. You cry just for that, under your sheets. Lucky you could remain silent; it was almost an empty cry at that point. Automatically, you were crying because that’s what you have to do.
You were exhausted. And you remembered having a bad feeling about all that situation.
“Not ready~”
“It's been a week.” Your mom closed the door, gently sitting on your bed and touching your back with a care that made you cry more. You were already drowning. “Did you think about a therapist yet?”
No. For a lot of things.
 
The first and most important is that you were already starting to improve a week ago. You haven't felt this miserable in months now, almost three. You had started to get up, eat better, and cry less. You talked, you walked, you wanted to laugh, to go out, to go back to work. Everything was fine. You didn't need a therapist.
Oh well, you did. At least you thought about going to one when you were already feeling better. You had the energy to want to be well and for this not to happen. Because the second was that now you didn't have the energy to try to lift yourself up in every way possible.
It was too heavy. But why. Why else would you have relapsed?
“How can you all be so… fine about it.” It wasn't retaliation, because everyone in that house was like that at the time, but you seemed to be the only one still there, and that frustrated you so much that it made things worse.
“We’re not.” You know. “We just know how to-“
“Live with the pain.” You end the sentence, revealing your face slowly to your mother. She looked tired and worried, but she still looked at you with love.
She brushed your hair out of your face, sighing and wiping away your tears softly. It was the only look of pity that you didn’t hate. You allowed it because you didn't have the heart to tell her that it bothered you. She was a mother; she couldn't help it.
“Your brother always told me to take care of you once he died.” She nodded, starting to cry. You haven't seen her cry in a long time. “He assured me that even if I were his mother, I would be able to understand it sooner and miss him differently than you. It's questionable, but that’s what he thought.” She took a breath, as if she had suddenly forgotten to breathe. What was he thinking when he said something like that to a mother? Many times you thought that Kija had no brains to boast about.
"'Don't let her die like this too.' " She quoted, “ ‘If I see her, whatever I end up to, I'm gonna hit her until she comes back to life." I’ll never forget how he told me that.” You smile a little. He also told you that in person days before.
“I've been remembering that non-stop all these months, but I realized that in the end, Y/N, I can't help you if you don't. Not because I don't want to; it's because I'm human, and I don't do miracles, honey.” You nodded like that didn’t hurt you, just because it was true. “I came here to let you know that we love you, we understand, and that if maybe I can’t do anything more for you, if you have a plan, I will always be here for you to help. It’s up to you from here, but you’re not alone.”
He prepared you for his death; everybody knows, what you were doing.
Why now. You were starting to make friends with the feeling that you were fine. You were in that stage of grief that isn’t too tragic.
What might have made you remember the loss as a thing in your life?
Of fucking course.
It took three days for you to use your little desire to continue like this and do something about it. Seun opened his eyes when he saw you entering the kitchen at breakfast, watching your movements cautiously.
“Where’s everybody.”
He blinks, chewing the cereal that was left in his mouth.
“All of them are in school; the rest of them are working.”
“What are you doing here, then?”
“What do you mean?”
“You still live at your parent's house without working? At 28?” He smiles. You were making fun of yourself as you said your age instead of his. He continued eating, calmer. “Embarrassing.”
“Guilty.” He says. “I needed the time, though. Things have been complicated lately.”
You looked at each other, and you thanked him for the gesture with your gaze, taking out a cup to make yourself some tea. Seun worked in Seoul. You didn't see him much, but he had been traveling home very often to see how everyone was doing in general after what happened, to see Jae too, and to be with his family more. Paradoxically, he was a lawyer, a very good and serious one, exaggeratedly contrary to what you were seeing right now, who wore a horrible duck shirt that he had worn as pajamas for as long as you can remember and always left at home, eating colored cereals in the bowl of one of your younger brothers.
When you went, nothing really belonged to you; all your things were already in your respective houses, but there was always room for you. Seun, being the second oldest, had left his room empty a long time ago, but he wore clothes that he had left in case he went.
Being there was like going back in time; you had taken your mother's clothes because you didn't go out much, and the ones you had there were no longer to your taste. The noises in the morning, hearing your mother sing from the kitchen, and seeing how they still danced together from time to time
It was nice.
You ended up eating the remains of yesterday's dinner with him at the inn, in silence. It was difficult for you to eat while like this; it was as if something in your chest prevented you from feeling any kind of human need. You left half the plate, and Seun after seeing that, took a breath.
“Eat that, and I’ll give you a prize.”
"Uh~ surprise me.”
You settled into the chair, ready to really listen to whatever it was. Seun was… you know.
“Dad asked me to take care of the garden outside.”
You frowned deeply, and you laughed because he was serious. “Great. Like when you were seventeen. I woke up with you complaining about it.” He made a face. “How would that be a prize?”
“It’s kind of fun, though. How about you come with me, hm? You don't have to do anything; eat that and just get some sun.
You didn’t eat it. But you go out still.
 
You didn’t even get dressed; you were still in pajamas, sitting on the grass, watching your brother cut leaves to shape bushes. Your father still took great care of that place; you could see that it was even better than before. He quite enjoyed it. You used to sit and look at him this way when you were younger.
“Didn’t know this could be emotional for you. You’re unbelievable.”
You laughed, wiping away your tears. It was stupid; you felt better, honestly.
“Sorry.”
“Sure.” He reached out to place a flower in your hair. It was small, white, the ones that fell from the tree that was right in the middle of everything. You smiled.
“How are you?”
“Better” you were, at least right now.
"Why did you get up today? What’s the occasion, hm?"
He walked away, beginning to pick up the remains on the floor. He was done.
“I just don’t want to feel terrible today.”
“Exiting.” He says this, stretching his back. “You know how hard it’s to force yourself to do that, kid? I am very happy to see you today. It's so brave of you. I'm serious.” It gave you a chill; you weren't used to hearing him talk like that. You simply nodded. “Here.” He gave you another flower; you play with it in your hands. “I'm going in to make lunch; are you coming with me? I can call you when it’s ready.
"No, I'm going to stay here."
Because it was quiet, you heard birds, and it didn't feel like your bed. You were a little desperate when your mother told you to go outside because you would feel better. The last thing you wanted was to get up, but you also hated that she was right.
You didn't open your eyes until you heard a noise that scared you, and it was almost bizarre to see Yoongi, standing with a garbage bag in his hand, looking at you without knowing what to do, giving all meaning to your search for triggers.
 
You blink. Maybe you were hallucinating.
 
Your gardens were together. His family hasn’t moved in all these years. The only thing you knew was that it was their property now, not like yours, which still rented the place. It had more floors than it used to, and instead of having old red wood walls like it used to, it was white and pretty. Yoongi had made sure that his family lived well. Many years ago, the house had been in constant repair; inside, it must have looked different too, but its patios still had no division.
Because they were neighbors, best friends, and family, sometimes they got together right there; why separate it? If they completely trusted each other, they could see each other more that way.
 
Why was Yoongi still in Daegu.
 
You couldn't find enough reasons for him to still be there. He must have been very busy doing his things, far, far from there, far from you.
And it was overwhelming to see him in that garden where you once saw him. It was difficult for you to make yourself believe that this person brought back that ugly feeling of looking like a lost cat.
You touch your chest.
He bowed. You had to cover the sun with one hand to be able to look at him better, and respond in the same way.
“You’re still here.” You say it quietly. 
Yoongi had those eyes, unkind ones. 
That and a sleepy look. He had always had them. If you hadn't known him since forever, you were sure that you would never have spoken to him, and if he did, you wouldn’t feel like speaking to him or maintaining any type of contact with him just because of his look. It was heavy, as if he was constantly having the worst time of his life, but by nature. His father had the same eyes and the same attitude; they communicated nothing with their expressions. At least that was what you knew—what you had stuck with.
But he looked at you in a way you didn't understand right now. That was one thing you didn't understand about the new Yoongi. Before, you used to catch him better because, although he expressed nothing with his eyes, you were the only one who could know how; you could read him in a certain way, and now he was just strange.
Softer. Almost warm but intimidating.
“Hm.” He didn’t move. “What are you doing, Park?" It was a mocking question, almost as if your brother had asked it, but with less emotion and coming from him, of course.
“Sunbathe.” You look dumb trying to look at him. The sun wouldn't let you. “It’s healthy from time to time," he tilted his head. “You need a little bit too. You’re too pale.”
He smirks, looking away, almost like taking the courage to ask. “Can I sit there, then?”
You analyzed the space with your eyes narrowed because you were trying to identify the natural division that existed between his patio and yours. Right on the floor, a few meters from you, there was a fairly thin cement line that divided the two spaces. You pointed your finger at it, moving a little closer so he could see it.
“Don't cross that line, and you'll be fine.”
Yoongi also squinted his eyes, looking at what could barely be seen on the ground. It took him a few seconds, but he managed to spot it and neutralize his gaze, lowering the hand he was using to block the sun coming from above. He snorted before approaching in silence.
You had forgotten what he looked like, and you wanted to say that during the day, with the sun on his face and casual, white clothes, he looked even better. He glows, and you want to punch him in the face.
“You don't fit in here anymore.” You said it simply. He leaned on his hands, leaning his body back, understanding that you didn't mean it with bad intentions. It was simply an observation, but he still didn't quite understand it.
“What do you mean?”
“Here, in Daegu.” He loses his eyes. “You look... expensive.”
You made him laugh unintentionally. Genuinely, he even sat properly so he could look at you. You were facing each other, a considerable distance away, divided by a line of asphalt covered by grass, but there it was.
“What?” That question makes you feel stupid.
“I don’t know, just- you look like you belong to another place. Too handsome and well dressed to be here.
“Ah~ handsome, huh?”
“Yes, Yoongi, too handsome.” It was a fact; he wasn’t stupid. He knows he’s attractive. You played with the flower between your fingers, feeling your heart begin to pound. You didn't even know why; you were sure he knew it wasn't his intention. You heard him laugh again. “You know what I mean.”
At least, you hope so.
“Maybe I don’t belong here anymore.” He says. When you looked up, he was playing with the grass between his fingers. “I don't feel welcome, either.”
“What are you doing here, then.”
He looked at you from there, raised his eyes for a few seconds, then closed them again. “I want to spend time with my family before enlisting. Hyung it’s going on his honeymoon in a few days, and... well, I'm running out of time.”
You had forgotten that.
You had to fight a lot not to ask when he was leaving, because it was two years, and although you hadn't seen him ten years ago, in a way you also had him constantly in your face, always. Now you wouldn't see him at all.
It was none of your business; why would you ask?
“That’s good.”
“You’re still living in he-?”
“Y/N, honey, hello. I thought you had returned to Busan since I didn't see you leave the house. You look tired; are you okay?”
You jumped for that.
“Hello, Mrs. Min. I’m, thank you.”
You had always been surprised by how intimidating that woman seemed to you and how much she loved you. She seemed more loving right now; maybe her age had made her softer, but in her younger days, every time she spoke to you, it was terrible for you. She always spoke to you as if she were making fun of you, with the most beautiful voice you had ever heard and the most studied words there were for a cordial conversation. Over time, you learned that it was genuine happiness, like right now.
“Then why-“
“Mom.” Yoongi stops her, and you realize.
You looked bad, perhaps unstable enough if it was at first glance. You did look tired; you hadn't slept well in months; you were still in your pajamas; and your hair was tied up. You hoped it wouldn't matter to you; you wish it were that way.
You had a flower on your head, at least.
“It's okay.” You told him, more for him than for her, and he looked at you, remaining silent for a few seconds. When you heard the woman's voice again, you were still sharing a look, surprisingly.
“Sorry. I was about to go to your house. I know your mom's working, but Seun it’s at home, isn’t he?” You finally looked at her and nodded, smiling slightly at her.
“Yeah.” It was weird, almost like she was checking to make sure you weren't alone. “Do you want me to leave her a message, Mrs. Min?”
“Oh no! It’s okay. I'll go tonight, but also," you take a deep breath. “It was just to invite you all to dinner tomorrow. Jae will be leaving in a few days, and the rest of his time will be spent with friends, so we can have dinner as a family.”
“I- don’t know. I’ll ask them-“
“I'm telling you, honey.” And you wish she didn’t. “Would you like to come? I know… You've had a tough time, and in the whole year you've been here, I've only seen you twice. We want to help.”
There it is. And just because you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, you smiled slightly and nodded. You only had those types of reactions at the beginning, when the topic was mentioned. You hate to have them again now. It was directly a discomfort that made you want to sink into the ground because it made you cry instantly and peel off your skin in one go. It was extremely uncomfortable.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want. Just think about it, okay?”
You said your goodbyes; she kissed your forehead and left, leaving you two alone again in an awkward silence. Yoongi didn't have pity in his eyes now, but it was as if he had been reminded of something he had done wrong.
“I can tell them you couldn’t make it.”
“No need to.” You tore up the grass by a handful. Why did everyone think you couldn't do anything for yourself? “I will go. I miss your father's cooking.”
“Okay.” Another silence. “I’m sorry about that. She doesn't have any bad intentions; she cares. She doesn't even treat me the way she treats you."
You smiled a little, and for some reason, your heart started to beat less hard. Just as fast, but it didn't make you want to die. And you didn't like that.
“No problems.” You say, getting up. "It looks like I do fit in here anyway.” You shook yourself for nothing exactly; it was just to feel less uncomfortable as he watched your movements, and you looked at him as you walked to the entrance of your house. He had a lopsided smile, soft eyes, and the flower Seun had given you between his fingers. “you still have twenty minutes left.”
He smiled at you, knowing that you were running away. Still, he didn't stop you.
 
That was one. The next one was a little less exciting.
 
You weren’t an events' person.
Not because you felt too bad to attend social things; in fact, you had discovered that it was very efficient at not making you think too much. Being alone was the worst thing you could do, but you didn't like going. It felt almost like a charity event since Kija died; at least that's how it felt. Seun told you it wasn't like that at all, but you feel like it.
Like a charity object.
 
They give you extra food, extra attention, extra compliments, and the comfiest chair. And it was nice sometimes, but today you didn’t want that to happen.
"So... you want the red one or the purple one?” You held them both up, showing them to your sister in the mirror.
“What do you think?”
“I think… I like the purple one.” She didn't seem to like your decision, so you had to convince her. “ Look, it has flowers and sparkles inside. “You’ll look cool, don’t you think?”
“But it doesn't match my outfit~” Hyunji whines, and you smile, pushing away the purple hair tie to comb her hair into a ponytail again. You'd end up convincing her anyway.
“What do you mean? You have purple here.” On her shirt. It was yellow on its own, but it had purple bubbles, and even though the basic style doesn’t work like that, it seemed to make sense to her child's brain.
“You’re right… Okay!” She says, playing with her doll again.
Living with children always makes you wish life was that easy sometimes.
Hyunji has a twin too. It was because your father was a twin of another; the gene was there. They were the youngest in the family, and you had been combing their hair all year. It was complicated because every time they did it, they were together, and they reminded you of the dynamic you had had with Kija your whole life.
At that point, it didn't hurt you so much anymore. The first few times, it had been complicated for you to see, but now the other twin was in the other room, and she had no one else to talk to other than her doll. Nara, your other sister, enters the room.
“You’ll go?” You were dressed.
"Uh-hu,” you responded, checking that everything was in order in the mirror. 
“Yoongi will be there.”
"I know." You spoke with the purple garter between your teeth, so your voice came out funny. “Are you going?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Yoongi will be there.” She rolled her eyes as she turned to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub, leaning against the wall. You laughed softly.
“Not you too.”
Nara wasn't particularly a fan of his group, at least not at first. Since you hadn't been paying much attention, you didn't really know what the story was like, but apparently, she was starting to listen to them recently, and she genuinely didn't believe that this was the Yoongi she remembered. Now all her siblings were bothering her for refusing to do so.
“I didn’t know! Stop. It's almost overwhelming to see him leave the house sometimes. Last week, I met him twice! Here! In this town, Y/N! He looks like-“
“He doesn't belong in here.” You mumbled, and Nara nodded at you, wrinkling her nose. 
“Nothing good ever happens here; this is too much for me.”
And for you too. But you didn’t say that out loud.
“Go on, kid. Call your sister.” Hyunji thanked you and ran off to find the other twin. You stretched your back.
“Can you tell me what happened between you two?” You scoff, sorting out the chaos you had made to find the purple ribbon in the box your mother had for them.
“Why do you want to know? It’s not that exciting.”
“There's no way.” She got comfortable, almost as if emphasizing her words. “Everybody in this family knows it's something happening to him and you, but nobody asked because they say you stopped crying about it like yesterday.” You laughed at the exaggeration. "Tell me."
“Well.” You took Ara, the other girl who had already been talking about how she wanted her hair, to sit her in the chair that you had placed on the sink counter, so you could see them better. Your mother always did it, and you didn't understand why. It was too unsafe. "The same thing as your sister?”
"No! I want them... like this.” She held up two fingers to you, and you nodded, wetting his hair and carefully untangling it. Ara liked to wear her hair long, so it took you longer, and you were already starting to get tired.
“We were friends, best friends, and things ended. That's all."
It took a second for the teen to sigh and start complaining about how little information you had given her. But you didn't like to talk about it. Not because you couldn't, but because it was something you already had behind you, very far behind. You didn't feel like it was any use to you to talk to anyone about it.
“Did you two kiss at least?"
“Yeah, we did."
Now, she looks excited.
“So you two date!”
“No. We didn’t.”
“Hm, date, but didn’t formalize anything?”
“No.”
“Friends with benefits?”
 
“Hm~ no.”
 
“Fuckbuddys?”
“Jesus Nara. How old are you? Twelve?”
She rolled her eyes, briefly looking at her cell phone”
"Haha. Why are you responding like Seun now? Don't do that; we have more than enough with one.” You responded to something the youngest was telling you, and you handed her a jar of cotton balls that she was asking for. “And I'm seventeen. “So you can tell me if you two were only fu-”
"Well, she, right here it's seven, Nara. So don’t say that ever again.” You saw her grimace in the mirror. “And we were friends. Best friends. Friends don’t- yeah.”
At least that’s what he told you. That you were friends.
“Friends don’t kiss either.”
And you told him that, too.
“I know.”
“Hm.” It seemed as if she didn't want to ask more, perhaps knowing that with the background she had, nothing could end well.
“I’m okay, though. I don't see the need to talk about it now. Yes, I suffered a lot because of it, but that's it; things are the way they are now.”
You had even realized that being around him didn't affect you like you thought. On the day of your wedding, you were sensitive; you knew it; you were predisposed to have a bad time. Now that you are at home with your family, what could go wrong?
“Do you plan to go dressed like that, then?”
“Hm?” You looked at yourself in the mirror in front of you, starting your sister's last ponytail. “What's wrong with it?”
“You’re kidding? You’re literally using mom's clothes.”
Yes, but because yours doesn’t fit in with you like they used to.
“I think it's pretty.” You defend yourself, but not really, finishing your job and taking the creature down from the inn. You heard her say thank you as Nara took your arm. "What-“
“Y/N, I won't allow you to go see your celebrity-famous ex dressed like that, without makeup and wearing ladies' shoes. You even did your hair! Come here.”
“He’s not-“
“Yes, wherever.”
She ended up dressing you in your clothes. Nice clothes of yours that you haven't worn in a while, but they made you feel pretty. Then she tried to do your makeup herself, but you knew how to do it yourself, so you ended up giving in. Your mother scolded them because they were late, and Nara left home with a smile on her face.
 
And you look beautiful. Yoongi thinks that when he saw you enter the house with one tween in your arms and a baby blue cardigan on you,
Of course, you were wearing baby blue.
“Do you think Seun will hit me in the face tonight if he gets drunk enough?” Yoongi asked his brother, receiving the beer he offered him. They could stop by to say hello later. The Parks had always been a lot of people; they had time to greet their parents first. Eun snorts before Jae can say anything.
“He doesn’t have to get drunk for that. You’re currently hurting the two people who matter most to him just by your existence. What do you think will happen?"
He agreed with a gesture, opening the bottle and taking a long drink. Yoongi didn't really like beer, but he would need it today.
“Well, I think,” Jae emphasized himself, shoving another beer into Yoongi's chest for him to hold. He was pulling out some to offer, he assumed. “that you can always talk to them to make them understand. Just like you did with the two of us.”
Make them understand. The problem was that neither of you seemed open to listening, which was fine, but oh well.
Yoongi had taken it upon himself all those days to fix as much as he could in that stretch of time. He had a different way of thinking and handling things, and he was too old to have unresolved issues. He didn't know if it was because he had time before he left or because Daegu and his house, his parents, and the streets where he walked for so long, dragging a useless dream, brought his emotions to the surface.
With you, it was different because he saw you, and it was difficult for him to remember all that he did wrong.
He had been thinking. Enough to have him overwhelmed in so few days, and while apologizing to Eun, for example, for having been so absent in her and her brother's lives, or to his parents, for... exactly the same thing, he saw you, and he knew that it wasn't just him who had to ask for forgiveness.
“They’re good at listening and apologizing for things they have done before. You're a lucky bastard to have to apologize to the most understanding people on earth.”
Eun had found it difficult to forgive him. She spent maybe a week talking to him, thinking about it, talking about it with Jae, and coming to the conclusion that, in fact, he had changed a lot and had given him an opportunity that he was sure he could fulfill. Yoongi was genuinely in another stage of his life, but having things to take care of was exhausting.
He realized more things that night at dinner as well. He didn't know the youngest members of the family, but they turned out to be quite shy compared to all of you, and talking to your family in general was quite easy. Not only that, but he didn't feel strange, out of place, or treated differently for who he was now; catching up with your parents and siblings was nice. Yoongi felt good”
“I would love to, Mr. Park, but I um, I return to Seoul tomorrow. I have commitments there before I leave for service.”
Nara had her birthday in a few days, and they were going to throw her a party. They were inviting Yoongi. He didn't know why his throat hurt from saying no lately. He was never a complacent person.
“Tomorrow? That soon? Will you enlist soon?”
It was impressive how those had been the first words Seun had spoken to Yoongi all night.
“No, it’s- not about that. I have work stuff. recording and practice.”
After that, he started answering questions about his life, which wasn't necessarily a bother. It was okay; he knew your family didn't have bad intentions either. He noticed it.
He also noticed that you barely touched your food.
“Can we talk?” You asked him when you were clearing up the dishes in the kitchen. ‘Sure’ and you took him outside because there was too much noise inside.
"So... you return to Seoul tomorrow."
You look disturbed, but he doesn’t hurry you.
“Hm.” He responded in affirmation. “My last concert is soon, and I have things to take care of before that.”
“Awesome.” 
You look untouched by the situation. By everything. As if you were there by protocol. You hadn't laughed genuinely all night; you just smiled and responded kindly, briefly at that, knowing how much you liked to talk.
He didn't want to say that it had to affect you, but it was as if you had no reaction in your body. Quite the opposite of when he saw you at marriage, where you were with all your feelings on the surface. And he was worried. He has no right to be, though.
“I thought you missed my father’s food.” He tries, and you look confused at him.
“I did it.”
“You barely touch it.”
“Well, that’s none of your business.”
Oh, well.
You covered your face. Yoongi heard you sigh.
“Sorry.” You say.
He nodded, calm. At least trying.
“Didn’t mean to be disrespectful, either. It’s okay.”
Then he waited.
Enough. It was almost ten minutes of pure silence in which you thought about what you would say, and he smoked because you made him nervous and made him want to be doing anything but being aware that you were there.
"Okay," you say. Your words sounded loose. As if you were complaining about something. “Before seeing you that day, at the wedding," you start. “I was fine. I was feeling okay. I was- eating very well, I was starting to go out more, and I had this... silly feeling in my chest that maybe this situation wouldn't mean the end of my days, my life, and that I could do things by myself.”
Yoongi settled back in his place, attentive. It was just that he didn't understand, but he wanted to.
“I knew you would be there.”
“Yeah. Jae, he mentioned something to me.” After the weeding, of course. He would’ve liked to know that, too.
“Yes. So I mentally prepared myself for that, to see you, because it affects me to do so, and I thought I had handled it well that day. It didn't add up to me, because I spent weeks thinking about it and preparing myself for things that didn't happen and would have made everything much worse. I felt bad again, and I started to think a lot about... everything. About Kidja's death and what would happen to me without him in my life. It wasn't even about you. I had gone back to my beginning of grief, Yoongi. And I didn't understand why all the effort I had made to be well was gone so suddenly.”
He blinks. A lot of times.
“I’m- not understanding.“
“I have this theory.” Okay. “When you left, I had this same reaction. I don't really want to compare them because they are different in very big ways, but it reminded me of a lot of things, and seeing you there... I wanted to ask you not to leave. Not again, not like everyone has done it recently, so I can feel better.” His heart was a mess; this information was too much. “And it's stupid, because I don't know you, and I can't trust you, and the fact that you're here does me any good.”
“Y/N.” He insisted.
“I just want to put an end to this.” He could swear you were shaking. “Forever.”
Yoongi's head was going very fast; he felt somewhere else, something surreal. He had lived peacefully for a long time; his heart almost burst out when he heard you say a few more things, like you didn't blame him for anything, but you needed to know that he wouldn't be there anymore, and when you wished him a good life, he went a little crazy because you were leaving.
“Wait!” He was in a rush for some reason. “Just like that? May I… apologize for everything at least?”
He saw how many things went through your head, and he was desperate not to be able to know what. You took your distance before you talked.
“Yoongi, I don’t care.”
Now he was mad. You were acting like a child; resentment was speaking for you. He didn't blame you, at least not entirely, because he knew you were smarter than this. You had more valid, more accurate, and even stronger answers, but you were deciding to run away.
That wasn't what really bothered Yoongi, but the fact that you didn't tell him directly, like you would.
“If you want to live, then do it. But give me a voice too; I'm involved too.”
You snorted and crossed your arms to look at him with a smile on your face.
His blood boiled.
“You know what? Forget it. Have a good night.”
“Oh fantastic.” You move fast, getting closer to his garden but staying on the other side of the small line that divides it. Yoongi stopped, now not willing to listen to anything, nor to say anything constructive, really. “So you’re mad now?”
“It’s just—you're so stubborn! I’m trying to do something here!”
“And what do you want me to do, Yoongi?! Hug you and dry your fucking celebrity tears and tell you that the fact that you broke my heart like it wasn’t a big deal was okay? Oh, so now you want to be involved. You’re living tomorrow! And you want to fix things now? Shut up. You’re doing the exact same thing you did when you left.”
Your voice broke off as you swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat. Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes.
“We both did things wrong; I just wanted to talk about it before… that's all.”
“Everyone suddenly wants to talk about it.” It wasn't cold outside. Daegu wasn't a cold place, but you hugged yourself and cringed as if it were. “Everyone asks me what happened between us and why we stopped talking. Your father apologized to me in your place today too; he told me that whatever happened, he hoped we could fix it.”
Yes, I had told him that too, since it happened years ago, honestly.
“But I don't see any sense in it. Why talk about something that is already broken? Why do you insist? I just want to close this, okay? It was already dead; leave it like this.”
Yoongi took a moment, because it was true. But you look too real in front of him, and that makes him weak.
“So we can heal, can't we? That’s why you are doing this.” Your eyes look at him. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I had no choice.”
"Yes, you did.” You cut him off. “Do things right, or do things wrong. Those were your options. And you chose.”
Because you had always understood that he was leaving and that Yoongi had bigger things to do outside that place, and you were happy about that, but he didn't tell you until one day before he left forever.
He was completely blinded by having signed recently, by having an opportunity, by doing what he liked, and by the promises that were being made to him. Leaving everything behind, his parents, who did not believe in him, his "friends” who constantly told him that he would not make it, in that place that hurt him so much only excited him.
And unfortunately, you found yourself involved just by being part of that place.
“I know. And I’m really sorry.” You closed your eyes, and you denied it slightly. As if you didn't want to hear those words. “I understand that I made a mistake back then; I was young and dumb, and I- didn’t- I’m not the same person right now. I’m really sorry. I mean it.” 
So... insignificant.
“Why.” And that was the question he didn’t want to hear. “So you can feel better about yourself, or because you're doing me a favor? Why now, Yoongi. If you hadn't seen me that day at the wedding, would you have traveled all the way here just to apologize before you left?”
No. The answer was no.
It wasn't something Yoongi thought about much. In all those years, he had convinced himself that he had done what he had done because sometimes in life, you have to be selfish to prioritize your well-being as a person. To put himself first over others because he had a dream, and fulfilling it meant sacrifices.
He hadn't done anything wrong, you know?
Now he apologized only because he saw you sick, and he felt guilty because he knew that it had affected you more than him. He was stupid because he blindly believed that the fact that he apologized would mean something less in your life, even if he didn't know how important you were to the whole thing itself. And you were sad and depressed, and you had big dark circles in your eyes, and you weren't eating well. You didn't really smile, you had a hard time getting up, and he hadn't seen you leave the house even once in all the time you had been there.
 
He felt responsible.
 
He did it because it left him and only him clean. He was being selfish.
He kept quiet. He wouldn't admit it out loud. 
“I spent nine years of my life on pause waiting for you to care enough to come back to this damn city, so we could fix things. To talk about it. But that was nine years ago, and it’s a little too late right now.”
"I'm,” he stops, getting close to you, pressing his words in his throat so as not to have to raise his voice. “apologizing.”
“Well, you’re not forgiven.” He tense.
“For something I made when I was a teen? I don’t know, but you made some dumb shit back then too.
You kept quiet about that. It was true.
“You don’t seem to mind too much, though.”
“And what do you know about how I feel?”
Because maybe the fact that it didn't stop his life completely was something, but ignoring it didn't mean that it didn't hurt him either.
“Nothing.” A whisper. “I just- I don’t know, okay? But that stupid thing you did as a teen still hurts me and haunts me to this day, and you- I continued to believe that you would have the decency to come to my twin’s funeral. it’s- all that, everything, that’s just my fault.” You firmly acknowledged it. “But I would’ve to be so stupid to believe that you are still that person, because people change, and we were very young, and that’s fine, but Yoongi.” You touch his chest, or at least you had the intention because you didn't get to do it. You stopped and backed away a little. “The problem here is that you still don't care enough. You didn't even want to come here of your own free will... And that's fine, but don't come and- try to talk to me as if that were the case. 
Your eyes soften, and so do Yoongi’s, because you do that when you want to cry.
When you cry, you’re completely harmless; that’s what he knows. If you cry out of anger, happiness, or even just empathy, any emotion automatically transforms into sadness. You leave yourself vulnerable; that's why you didn't allow it in arguments; it was losing instantly. 
So you put yourself back together. 
“That's fucked up, Min, and I don't need to forgive you to live in peace; I don’t want this; I don’t need your apologies; I don’t want to have any kind of contact with you because I don’t want you in my life anymore.”
“Then why are you still here?"
He can smell your perfume from how close you two are to each other now.
 
So he realizes.
 
It was difficult for him to have you so close. Because he felt the heat of your body, and your breathing was agitated. He remembered the touch from when he touched you at the wedding and squeezed his hand so as not to claim it again. His eyes traveled to your lips accidentally, twice trying to stop them without success, nor to his body as he moved forward, seeking to kiss you directly. He stops himself with all the strength he had and a little more, but you didn't move either.
You were both too dazed, feeling the tension in the air. As Yoongi looked at your lips again, this time closer to you, as you licked yours, trying to feel something. He breathed hard, like a bull, feeling almost dizzy. Yoongi had never wanted something so much in his life, and you weren't helping.
You looked down too, raising big eyes to the level of his before whispering, ever so slightly, to answer his question, and Yoongi couldn't believe you existed, looking like this.
He was fucked up.
“I still have a lot of appreciation for you, Yoongi.” You say. “And I respect you enough to do things right.” He closes his eyes when you distance yourself. There was nothing more to do. “I'm still here, but doing all this, doing things you don't want to do, lying to yourself, lying to me?... you're losing me.” 
His eyes were wide open. You looked at him with sadness because you were crying. 
“Leave it as it is, and keep the small part of me you still have with you. Because if you keep trying, I’m gone.” 
And maybe that was what you both needed. A closure, a proper goodbye.
 
The problem was that neither of you had said goodbye, technically.
-
Big big brother, lovely and always available, Seun 💪🏻 - 1:32
‘How is it?’
‘Spooky?’
1:40
‘u’re allergic to dust, kid. You need a hand? 👋🏻👋🏻’
There were so many things you regretted in life.
One of them was to regain the closeness you had with Seun having so many brothers to choose from. Because he was sweet, yes. Maybe if you didn't have him there (knowing that you often live in fear of losing the people you love, it was very clear to you), you would miss him a lot, but he could be very annoying at times.
Don't judge yourself by the contact name by the way. He had set himself up that way, and every time you tried to change him, he found a way to make it longer.
You - 1:41
‘Sure, want you here in ten minutes.’
Big big brother, lovely and always available, Seun 💪🏻 - 1:43
‘Don't tempt meee’
‘You know I’m crazy, right?’
You stopped him immediately, telling him that you were fine, that everything looked fine, and that he shouldn't worry.
It was a two-hour trip. And it wasn't a lie that you were okay.
Moving to Busan was your idea; maybe two years before Kija relapsed and got sick, he wouldn't stop getting worse. He followed you with nothing in mind because, unlike you, he hadn’t been able to study anything. His health was weak, and that weakened his mind as well.
You wanted to get him out of that mentality, to meet people, to go out, and perhaps to look for a job that would help him understand that he could do things well. And you did it, or, well, he did. You didn't see much of the many people he had plans with; he worked in a café near your apartment that was still there; they had even remodeled it. He had a boyfriend, money; you two were together, you always laughed.
It was when you began to set up your clinic (because that was what you had gone to Busan for, aside) in the city that he began to cough very lightly, almost like a cold, and when you took him to see the place where you would start to build your first dream, he passed out at night when they were trying to clean the place. After that, he didn't stop coughing until that same cough took his breath away completely.
You thought he would get better, he looked weak but fine. He talked, he ate, and he didn't sleep as much as he does when he gets that sick. The only thing that told you that he was really struggling was the blood in his cough and that sometimes, when he got up to go to the bathroom, he would call you out of breath because just getting out of bed was too much for him. He was in serious condition, but you didn't think you would have him with you for so little time.
“Open that thing, Y/N. You have everything you need. You’re smart, you’re pretty, and your lungs work wonderfully. Sorry you don’t have any excuses.”
He spent the last days of his life there, in that apartment that you didn't want to return to, because now your whole family wasn't sleeping on the floor, nor was your mother's voice singing to him while everyone was sleeping, and he couldn't do it because the pain was killing him slowly, nor was your father offering you help to open that damn clinic.
Kija died two days before opening it, and he swore he would be there when you did. You believed him.
The door to his room was closed now. When you came into the apartment, it smelled musty, and there were many letters on the floor that were passed under the door while you were gone. His shoes were on the shoe rack at the entrance; your mother must have forgotten them when she cleaned, so you sat there when you arrived; you weren't ready.
It was when Seun spoke to you that you decided to enter the things you were missing.
And you clean the place. You dusted, packed your things, and called the clinic to inform that you were going to return to work that week. You were the boss anyway.
Maybe it was you deceiving yourself, but the more you looked for discomfort within yourself, you couldn't find it. You thought that facing that place would be more complicated, but there you were.
In Busan, and in Busan you didn't want to die.
“I trust him.” Kija could barely speak; he was intubated and medicated, sitting right where you were now, waiting for the medication to completely wear off.
You had stopped talking about it hours ago, that was when you understood that your confession had been hanging around in his head.
‘I have been thinking about Yoongi lately. I think I'll- need him when you’re gone.’
“Text him.” He told you.
You had already told him it was impossible. You had even told him possibilities of a schedule of imaginary activities that he would have at that moment.
“Kija, forget it.”
“I trust him.” He repeated. “He’ll come. He cares about you still, I know.”
You had believed him, and you had smiled slightly at the thought of a possibility.
Now you’re disappointed. It was dimly lit, it was starting to get cold, and your hands covered your face because, wrapped in, now, a gray room, you were giving Yoongi tears for the first time in years.
And Yoongi's tears were different from Kija's. They felt old, meaningless, but they weren’t automatic.
You sob, because maybe this way you could do this the last time you cry about it.
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