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notashadowbutawave · 4 months ago

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finally talked my wife into watching 8x06 "confessions" with me and WOW there's quite a lot going on in this breakup scene in buck's apartment (and the infamous glee scene for that matter) that I haven't seen discussed much on this website (though maybe I'm just not finding it?) like this show is always yelling the themes in your face but...

first of all I think it's somewhat intentional that Buck is being written as kind of regressing. So far in the show, he's gotten his confidence in romantic relationships by fulfilling the role with the person that he thinks he should fulfill. with Abby, Buck had just learned about serious adult romantic relationships and how they work and was trying to Be A Partner in a complete speed run. But he learned that no amount of devotion is a substitute for functionality. with Taylor, he was trying to Be A Functional Partner - and he learned that being a partner Has To involve trust, and that trust comes from somewhere else other than just our actions - it has to come from our hearts.

Tommy is the first person he's ever dated where he doesn't know what the next steps are and that's because this isn't something he has a blueprint for - being a Partner and a Functional Partner for somebody who sees right through him and sees exactly what he's trying to do, to make Tommy never leave. Abby was completely clueless (sorry I really dislike Abby) and Taylor didn't realize that an adult man could behave so badly without utter malice in his heart. Both of them kind of make the mistake of being vulnerable to Buck's charms.

Tommy is of course vulnerable to Buck's charms but Buck is more transparently himself with Tommy as well - and what Tommy sees, then, is a person who is deeply insecure and may be trending in the right direction but ultimately still thinks there's a lever he can pull to make Tommy stay and never leave him. He doesn't know that he's not done cooking yet because every new thing he learns about the world or others makes him feel brand fucking new.

So yes, the glee scene:

Josh was absolutely gagged that Tommy was Abby's ex fiance

Buck's first instinct is to see the situation from Abby's side and go into protective mode which is adorably loyal to be fair but also like ; get a grip

I actually love Josh's framing of "you care about this person and if you want a future in a queer relationship you need to learn that we don't all come to this the same way"

Did they need a cultural reference? No. Were they going to self referentially congratulate Ryan Murphy for inflicting it on the world? Yes.

And regarding the breakup itself:

What is wrong with this fandom's sense of humor that I haven't seen a gif of "I'm the himbo" ??? Like yes babe u sure are come here

Buck is really working so hard in this scene to make sure Tommy knows that he's serious. He's like... this freaked me out but I've decided I'm cool with it. She changed my life but not like you !!!

Like bless his heart, Buck thought he was really doing the right thing by telling Tommy about Abby BEFORE ASKING HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. like MY CARDS ARE ON THE TABLE??? SEE??? LOVE ME FOREVER !! it's adorable and it's also cringe as fuck.

I think the real sin of the writing here is making Buck so completely clueless that this is the wrong move. Like he's kind of an idiot (Eddie Diaz's words not mine) but moving in with someone after dating them for six months in your 30s is WILD behavior and I don't think even Evan Buckley would fail to realize that this is a bit much in this moment.

But idk being in love makes one do stupid things? I did all of my messy bitch relationship shit before I turned 30 but I guess it is buck we are talking about

I completely understand why Tommy reacts the way he does in this scene and bless Lou Ferrigno Jr for acting it with such nuance, much more depth than the scene frankly deserves. What a heartbreaker. Like you see him tense up at Buck's request

"I'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you." such an insane thing to say to your boyfriend. Whoever approved this script was trying to take me out like with a gun.

You then see the absolute grief in Tommy's eyes like oh god this kid is killing me. He's so sweet. He's so cute. He doesn't get it. I love him. He doesn't get it.

As an aside, Eddie being stalked in the juice bar by the hot priest was absolutely incredible.

I didn't hate this episode but wow the writing does suck shit, however I fully believe it makes sense for them to break up here and get back together in the future ??? because Buck DOES have some shit to figure out. Like moving in with someone is a lot of fucking intimacy REALLY fast and baby boy sometimes you NEED to pump the brakes a little ESPECIALLY when you think someone might be THE ONE and you just figured out you like guys six months ago.

I get it and yeah the writing is tragic and the inclusion of Abby in general is just unhinged and unnecessary but like I don't hate the broad strokes here. how else does the blorbo learn if not by ritual torture by the writers. Lou is too good to not have back though. My god what a treasure.

end bucktommy endgame truther transmission

#bucktommy #911 abc #911 abc spoilers #evan buckley #tommy kinard #lou ferrigno jr #wee woo post episode madness

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lovelaurs · 11 months ago

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MOVIE NIGHT

featuring : mystreet laurance, garroth, katelyn, lucinda x gn reader synopsis : tonight is your weekly annual movie night with your partner! how will the night go in terms of activites? will the two of watch the film or end up too busy being smothered by the other's lips to watch? tags : mature, romance, pre-established relationships, fluff, cuddles, kissing, making out, sharing interests, suggestive (lucinda and katelyn specifically) word count : 3.3k | around 800 words per character! a/n : this started off with me wanting to write more laurance fics, but eventually became multiple drabbles for characters! since i don't see many x readers with the girls, i knew i had to broaden their tags as well, which led me to writing some fun drabbles! this one is for you, sapphics! mwah! - also, i'm afraid to admit the garroth one was far too self indulgent towards my obsession with the film. anyway, hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

LAURANCE

Laurance leaned against your door frame as you gathered your things.

You tended to go a bit extra whenever the two of you had your movie nights. It was not a secret that you like to be snug.

You grabbed your favorite blanket along with your pillow, before grabbing an extra charger, which in turn meant grabbing your phone.

Laurance held back a snicker as he looked at you hold the pile of items in your hands. With the wire tangled up within the blanket, to your phone being placed upon the pillow on top, it truly looked like a scene from a cartoon.

You could barely see in front of you as the pillow covered your vision.

“You uh… need some help there?” He chuckled.

You sighed in defeat, giving a small “yes” before he lifted your pillow and phone from the pile.

As the two of you carefully made your way down the stairs, you eventually flopped onto the couch with a hum, allowing you to cozy up with the blanket.

Laurance sat by your head, causing you to lift yourself up and place your head on his lap.

“Do you even need a pillow when you have me?” He teased.

“Eh, you’re a close second, I’ll give you that.” You snarked back.

Laurance gasped, acting offended by the comment. “How dare you!” What a drama queen. “I’ll have you know that I am much more comfortable to lay on than a pillow!”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his act. “If that was the case, you wouldn’t have a dissatisfied customer like me.”

He turned your nose up at you. “Well, I’ll have you know that-”

As this banter seemed to continue on more than you would like, you grabbed the pillow he had placed beside him before you tossed it in his face.

“Can we just watch a movie already?”

He puffed his cheeks with a pout, looking down at you trying to make you feel guilty. But, after a minute of a stare down between the two of you, he just sighed and reached for the remote.

“Okay, okay, you win.” He looked at the Netflix catalog before turning back to you. “So, what do you want to watch?”

You took a second to think, watching as he scrolled on the ‘For You’ tab.

It wasn’t until something caught your eye that you leaned up quickly, banging your head into Laurance’s chin, yelling, “Knives Out!”

Laurance gripped his chin in pain as you held your head, the both of you feeling the ache from the action.

Before you could fully process what happened, Laurance, with his eyes squeezed shut in pain, kissed your aching head as if to soothe the pain.

You smiled with a wince, turning around and kissing Laurance on his chin, apologizing repeatedly for hurting him.

He couldn’t help himself from laughing at the whole scenario, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer so he could plant soft kisses against your forehead.

“You’re so goofy, you know that?” He chuckled in between kisses.

You lightly pushed him away jokingly before laying on his lap again. He playfully frowned as you moved away from his affection.

He began wiping away fake tears. “I guess you don’t want to experience love, joy, and whimsy. Okay, I get it.”

You lightly hit him with the pillow again, giggling. “I love you, Laurance, but please stop the act so we can watch a movie already.”

“Fine.” He sighed as he grabbed the remote. “So… Knives Out, huh?” You nodded as you looked up at him.

As he searched up the movie and pressed play, Laurance couldn’t help but gasp at every major actor/actress that appeared on screen.

“Oh my Irene- Daniel Craig? Ana De Armas? The kid from IT? How many famous people did they get in this film?!”

You tugged on his sleeve as he kept guffawing at every appearance. “Laurance, please. It’s a netflix film, of course there’s going to be actors you know in it.” “I know, I know. I can’t help but just get surprised when- wait, they hired Jamie Lee Curtis for this?!” He proceeded to boo loudly at the screen as she appeared.

Annoyed by the constant comments from your boyfriend, you leaned up off his lap and kissed him, shutting the brunette up immediately. He didn’t even argue at the action and simply melted into the kiss, pulling you closer.

He cupped his hand behind your head, protecting your head as you began to fall against the back of the couch, Laurance now hovering over you.

You light pushed against his chest, making him pull back and look at you with eyes glazed over with love.

You breathed heavily, trying to take in the air you were missing mere seconds ago.“Do you want to watch the movie or not, Laurance?”

He smirked as he tilted your chin up. “Honestly? I’d rather watch you all evening.”

And with that, he dived back down and continued to kiss you.

The two of you won’t be finding out who the culprit was in Knives Out any time soon.

GARROTH

You knew what to expect at this point.

As Garroth hounded you into another room as he set up the surprise movie, you wondered what film it would be this time.

First clue you had was that it was definitely an animated film, seeing as Garroth often looked to escape reality within hand-crafted movies.

But that was simply it, no other hints besides being animated. Which, thinking about just how many cartoon films there were, really didn’t narrow it down for you.

You had nothing against animated movies, so really this was just a fun little surprise watch that you two would have every other week (when he was in charge of the movie).

Garroth had been building up to this movie every week since you started this weekly routine. He had put it off initially to get you excited for it as the weeks passed by, and finally, this was the day.

You heard him scramble about the living room, whispering to himself as he set the movie up. You heard the click of buttons, the creaking of the floorboards, and the fluffing of some pillows before finally being let into the room.

This man had set up the area with all sorts of snacks and blankets, and most notably; a heap of pillows. Your eyebrows raised as you looked at the setup with a mix of confusion, but most importantly; excitement.

Garroth always loved to tell you all about his favorite movies or series, going into in-depth conversations about the background history behind it all and more.

This is something you loved about the blonde.

He loved to show you his interests, unafraid of expressing his love for it in every way, and you simply adored it. Watching him get excited and giddy over his favorite things was just absolutely adorable to see.

Of course, he would reciprocate the action and strongly listen whenever you would speak about your favorite things as well. His eyebrows furrowed as he kicked his legs back and forth, listening to you share your interest with a passion.

That’s the thing with your relationship; with both of you so interested in what the other has to say, it made for the perfect connection between you two. Sharing your interests was simply a love language the two of you had created during your time together.

As you plopped yourself on the couch, Garroth rushed over, sliding next to you on the sofa. He tossed your favorite blanket over both of you before passing you the bowl full of popcorn.

You smiled as you looked from the bowl to your boyfriend. “Someone seems prepared.”

He turned to you grinning from ear to ear. “So? Are you excited?!”

You nodded, smiling at just how adorable he looked. With his blonde curls flopping up and down as he bobbed with excitement. You could barely respond as you looked into his shining cerulean eyes.

He was everything.

He draped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer, before reaching to press play on the remote.

The way his eyes shined from the light of the screen was simply awe inspiring.

As the film opened up, a strange sense of deja vu filled your mind. Hadn’t you seen these opening credits before?

You turned to look at Garroth, raising your eyebrows in question, but he only responded with a wide grin. He had something up his sleeve, it seemed.

As you pressed play, it was only a matter of time before your eyes were met with the sight of the sun.

With a big headed blue alien falling from the sky.

You turned to look at Garroth with a smirk only to find him leaning on his palm looking at you expectantly.

“Well?”

“Garroth, we’re like two minutes into the movie.” You giggled. “You can’t exactly get my reaction just yet.”

He pulled you in by your waist, hiding his face in your neck. “Oh come on! I need to know!”

You giggled as you felt the scruff of his beard graze your neck.

“G-Garroth! I can’t focus on the movie like this!” He started to plant little kisses on your neck, keeping you distracted from watching the awesome, amazing, fantastic movie that is ‘Megamind’; the 2010 animated Dreamworks film.

He pulled you onto his lap, and proceeded to tickle you on both sides of your abdomen.

“I know I planned on having you watch one of my favorite movies… but Irene, is your smile infectious!” He chuckled. “I just can’t get enough of it!”

After countless minutes of pushing and pulling, you eventually were able to push his hands away, convincing him to let you watch the movie as you sat on his lap.

By the end of the film, he had already begun nodding off with a huge grin plastered on his face.

The two of you ended up falling asleep on the couch as the credits rolled, cuddled up on the couch, covered by your favorite blanket.

As Garroth began to stir, he awoke to you in his arms. He smiled as he let his head rest on your head, pulling you closer to him. He couldn’t help but enjoy the warmth you radiated.

The both of you ended up sleeping through the rest of the night huddled together.

KATELYN

As you finally finish setting up the snacks and drinks for your annual movie night, your girlfriend, Katelyn, seems to be struggling to find a movie from the endless catalog.

She groaned as she laid her head against the arm of the coach, aimlessly scrolling through the ‘Featured Movies’ tab on Hulu.

“Have you found a movie yet?” You called from the kitchen, bringing over the trays with the assortment of goodies stacked upon them.

As you placed them on the ottoman in front of you, Katelyn swiftly picked up a handful of popcorn and stuffed it in her mouth.

“No, not yet.” She responded, the sentence muffled as she chewed the popcorn. She swallowed before pressing the arrows on the remote again and again, seemingly looking for anything of interest. “Ugh, there’s nothing interesting to watch on here! Either it’s too sappy, too long, or just straight to streaming movies!”

You flopped onto the couch next to her, offering your hand out to take the remote from her and look for yourself, in which she obliged.

Within minutes, you were stuck in the same endless mountains of titles that she was in, movie after movie not catching your eye in any way, shape, or form.

You eventually went to lay your head on her thighs, continuing to scroll, occasionally reading titles aloud as you went along.

“Vacation Friends?” “Too commercial,” Katelyn replied. “I need something different.” You scrolled once more, landing on another movie.

She started to play with your hair as you let your cheek squish against her thigh. “How about The Valet?” You asked, looking up at her.

“Too long! Plus it’s a comedy romance from goddamn Hulu, it has no chance.”

After scrolling for about five more minutes, you hovered upon another movie.

“How about this one-” “Nope!”

You leaned up, raising your head from her lap and pouting. “If you keep this up, we’ll never find a movie to watch tonight!”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault Hulu’s movie selection is utter garbage!”

The two of you only had Hulu for its shows; Brooklyn-Nine-Nine, Futurama, etc, so really it was a rare occasion whenever the two of you would find something on here that you’d both enjoy. Of course, you don’t have any other streaming services, so your options are limited.

That’s when it hit you.

“How about we use a pirate site?”

And with that, Katelyn pulled you in, peppering kisses along your cheek. “You know me so well, Sweetheart.” In which she tilted you backwards, allowing you to rest fully across her lap, giving her ample space to continue playing with your hair.

Within a few minutes, you screenshared your iPhone to the TV, allowing you to browse the site with easy viewing.

As you scrolled through the ‘New Arrivals’ page on the site, it wasn’t long before the two of you spotted the same movie, looking at each other with a nod.

That was when the two of you began to watch ‘Bottoms’.

Of course, a satirical comedy based around girls who kiss each other would be a top choice for the evening. Straight romances were far too overrated.

The two of you tended to watch the movies you chose uninterrupted, but on rare occasions where the two of you crave affection, you’d end up cuddling so much that you’d miss the second half of the film.

This seemed to be one of those nights, as during the scene where they blew up the football player’s car, Katelyn hoisted you up to sit on her lap.

Their kiss getting interrupted by the explosion seemed to annoy her, to which she found a better solution: you.

She squeezed your hips as she began to plant soft kisses along your neck, causing you to giggle.

“K-Katelyn! Pfft- what are you doing?”

She smirked, letting her hot breath hover over your neck. “Doing what I’ve been waiting for all night.”

She let herself wander up your neck, and across your cheek, before finally resting on your very own lips. She pulled you closer as she passionately kissed you, biting at your lip and seeking entrance almost immediately.

You pulled back to take a breath, your cheeks tinted. “Someone’s getting impatient I assume?” You teased.

Katelyn then tightened the grip on your hips, causing you to squeak.

She giggled, “That’s one hell of an assumption, I’ll tell ya’.” Before pulling you in for yet another kiss.

Out of nowhere she pulled your legs apart, allowing you to straddle her on the couch.

As Katelyn kept fighting for dominance, which frankly wasn’t that hard since you weren’t trying, you let your own hands wander around her neck, looping behind her to pull her closer.

“What was that about me being impatient?” She chuckled, before heading back in to bruise your lips for the rest of the evening.

That was when her leg moved between yours, causing you to practically yelp.

“How about we take this upstairs, alright?”

All it took was a single nod before she hoisted you into her arms and began towards the stairs.

This was going to be a long night.

LUCINDA

It was no surprise to you that your girlfriend would pick a horror movie.

She pretended at first that she didn’t know what to watch, asking for any ideas from you while knowing you wouldn’t have any.

That’s when she quickly clicked onto on demand, rented a movie, and pressed play within a matter of minutes.

“Hey, babe, I rented out a movie for us!” She smiled as she shook your leg with her hand to get your attention.

You had been pretending to scroll through your phone as she looked around, when in reality your eyes were looking just above the top of your phone to watch her make a b-line towards the film she had so clearly planned to watch from the start.

The fact that she rented it before asking you in the first place was just another sign of her devious plan.

You could tell from the sinister smile that she had ulterior motives.

This witch simply wanted to scare you.

Even after being with her for months now, you still couldn’t stomach most horrors.

Lucinda knew this.

So that brought up the question; why a horror movie?

As the movie began to play, you scooched closer to her, allowing your head to fall on her shoulder.

You tilted your head just enough to which you could look at your red-headed lover, finding her menacing smile replaced with a smirk.

“So… what are we watching?”

“You’ll see.” Was all she said.

You’ll see? Oh, you were in for a ride.

As the movie began to play, you quickly took notice of what seemed to be a panicked security guard along with a screen monitor, looking through a bunch of cameras.

No goddamn way.

“Lucinda… are we watching Five Nights At Freddy’s?”

She looked at you with a fake look of confusion. “What are you talking about?” You leaned off of her, causing her to frown. As you kneeled on the couch you gestured to the TV.

“The movie we’re watching. You rented Five Nights At Freddy's, didn’t you?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Babe, you’re crazy. Why would I put on that?”

“Well, seeing as we watched The Hunger Games last week… I’d assume to see Josh Hutcherson.”

With that, she pushed you over, pinning you to the couch. With her hands on both sides of your head, she straddled your lap, looming above you.

“You know, I’m a bit offended you thought I picked this movie simply to see an actor that starred within it.” She leaned down, breathing deeply by your ear. “Do you truly think I have such low standards for picking films, hm?” You stuttered while trying to respond, feeling her lips press against your skin, before you felt a pressure on your neck. She started to suck on the soft flesh, littering your neck with bruises of all shapes and colors.

That was when a loud scream came from the TV causing you to sit up in shock.

That was short lived though, as a frustrated Lucinda pushed you back down on the couch.

She slowly moved her pointer finger back and forth. “Ah, ah, ah… where do you think you’re going?” Your breath hitched simply from the burning look in her red eyes.

“I… I was going to turn down the volume-” She brought her finger to your lips, shushing you. “And who said you could do that, Darling?”

A lump was caught in your throat as you swallowed.

As she began to lean down, a stray strand of hair fell in front of her face. You couldn’t help yourself and the next thing you knew, you were tucking it behind her ear.

“Well, well, aren’t you a cutie.” Her voice was low as she leaned down again. This time she started to bite and nip at your neck as if it were a feast laid before her.

She hummed as she bit down, sending chills down your spine. All you could do was whimper her name as she attacked your neck continuously.

“Do you want to know the real reason I put on such a movie?” You nodded as she tilted her head, beginning to bite your bottom lip.

“I just wanted to slowly break you down as the jumpscares played.” She smirked. “Is it so wrong to want to see you jump and shake not just at the noises, but by my touch as well?”

So that’s why.

“Now, be a good little Darling and stay still for me, okay?”

@lovelaurs, 2024. do not repost this work in any way!

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majycka · 9 months ago

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Megumi stans....we won, I guess? maybe just for now..

JJK 266 THOUGHTS AND SPOILERS AHEAD!

Aight megumi enjoyers, at least one of us has been in the trenches when Megumi was getting SHOVELED PILES OF SHIT ON for losing his will to live when he's a traumatized 15 years old boy having a valid reaction to a death of a loved one (aka who may I repeat, HEAVILY REITERATED in the manga is someone whose his entire desire to live hinges on). As of from the currents chap, I'm considering Yuuji's acknowledgement/understanding to Megumi's actions a W for us or idk maybe that's just me because he gives Megumi the empathy and understanding he needs in his crazy ass suicidal life, and it raises the question of whether this is gonna fully push Megumi for his comeback moment?

More yapping under the cut

In order to explain why the magnitude of this chapter is such an important development for Megumi, his trauma needs to be discuss first and, there's four people we need to go through to reflect his stages of life. Toji, Tsumiki, Gojo, aaaannd Yuuji! :D

TOJI, the dad who left for milk.

Although we barely see any interaction with these two (only one fight scene from them), Toji no doubt kickstarted the trauma of Megumi the moment he decided to left for milk and never return again. He's traumatized by the Zenin's which explains why he acted out in that way and abandoned his child. All he's life he's treated as the outsider for being the odd one out. He lashed out from it as he got stronger, calmed down when meet Meg's mom who then died, and went back to lashing out again, forgetting that he has a tiny son waiting for him at home. Big L for Toji.

I know that Gege reiterated in his interview that he wants to craft a story where there's no right and wrong people, but I'm gonna proceed to be harsher towards Toji here because he's the ADULT situation. Yes, a traumatized adult who's fucked up and not perfect, but I still hold him accountable in perpetuating Megumi's trauma because Toji proceeded to repeat the cycle of trauma that moment he decided to leave, thinking that turning over Megumi to the Zenin is the best option cuz he got The Ten Shadows Technique. From Toji's perspective, it seemed the better option because he was raised knowing his no cursed energy made him an outcast in his family. It's drilled to him that cursed technique was everything for Zenins, so of course, he thought that his son with a valued technique will make the Zenins, olympic gold medal holder of abuse, treat him better. But, heck no! Just look what happened to that Naoya, who despite being raised differently as Toji or Maki and Mai, ended up as a piece of shit. In the end though, I gotta give him the bareeeessst minimum because he kinda pushed Gojo to interfere with Megumi being sold off to the Zenins(which has another set of problems discussed for the later part of discussion).

I try to stay true in including Gege's intention in writing here, and also other nuanced perspective cuz that's the type of series JJK is that yes, Toji DID care for his son in the barest minimum and in his most emotionally stunted way.

However, the damage is done, and Megumi is left with no prime adult caretaker to protect/guide him with only an older sis to have any resemblance of it .

2. TSUMIKI, the manic pixie dream girl sister.

To define the term (as I've stolen from Google) , manic pixie dream girl (MPDG) means "a type of female character depicted as vivacious and appealingly quirky, whose main purpose within the narrative is to inspire a greater appreciation for life in a male protagonist." They are often associated as love interest in movies, BUT I AM NO WAY SHAPE IN FORM ENDORSING MEGUMI SEES HER THAT WAY. Instead, I am using MPDG as a loose term to describe Tsumiki because like most MPDG, we barely know ANYTHING about her actually and we only saw her through the eyes of Megumi which is being pretty and dead.

Not essentially dead and not essentially just pretty because Megumi described her to be the model of a kind person and someone that Megumi wishes to protect, aka his greater purpose of life, which is yah, great, but we are stuck with this perception of Tsumiki. We don't know her, and I think the closest thing we got an unbiased perception of her is when she chucked a cartoon of milk to Megumi (she will call out his BS). This connects back with Megumi's trauma because who else are you gonna hinge your will to live on when the prime adults in your life failed you? He sees her in a brighter light in order to survive. A way of coping mechanism even.

AND YET, despite all his talk appreciating her kind traits and killing people in the culling game to get back to her, you would be surprised that instead of apologizing to her that he was all emo about, he was a dick to her when they reunited. 💀💀

And in fact, the narrative punishes him for this flaw.

To the point that when Sukuna took over his body, he "killed: Tsumiki in his hands which didn't just left Megumi the guilt and shame of being a dick to his sister before she dies but also the impression that Megumi was the one who "killed her." This makes Megumi an active participant to his own tragedy, and it serves a big slap on his face that he's also at fault here.

3. GOJO, the traumatized bro who tried his best.

This is definitely the raging hot debate of the fandom which is their dynamic, and my take breaks this perception of the uwufied Gojo a lot of the fandom seems to like. Yes, I do see Gojo as another perpetrator to Megumi’s trauma, another adult that failed him but not in such of a black and white way thinking of Gojo’s the wholly bad guy here. Believe it or not, he’s still a part of the chain of generational trauma, being a "chain" as in he's a victim AND perpetrator of the system. I called him the traumatized bro who tried his best here because as much as Gojo knows how cruel the jujutsu system is for the kids, he still unintentionally passes over the core mindset of such cruel system to Megumi since Gojo still did grew up in this system normalized in his eyes.

"Jujutsu Sorcerer is an individual sport."

I say "unintentionally passes" because no, Gojo doesn't have the same intention as Zenins/majority of the system who drills "strength is everything" in the most fucked up way possible. Yes, he enjoys Megumi’s company and treats him nicely. Yes, he sticks his neck out for him. Yes, he wants them to be strong so they can change the system. But this isn't about Gojo. It's about Megumi who still undeniably suffered from the accumulation of the few adults in his life failing him which includes Gojo. Gojo offers protection to Megumi. KEYWORD: Offers. It’s in exchange for Megumi working under Gojo as a jujutsu sorcerer. Now, for smol Megumi here, who truly going through the horror show of abandonment from his dad, agrees to it because apparently, according to Gojo, it’s the only way to protect his sister.

"I'll take care of things! But you're gonna have to work extra hard. I'm countin' on ya."

Annnd thus the cycle repeats! Although it wasn’t as bad as Zenin’s abusive environment Toji was raised, Megumi is still pushed in the same cutthroat environment of the jjk world that Gojo believed he can survive just because Megs has a valued powerful technique if only he himself fullfills his potential, like Gojo’s Six Eyes. BUT Gojo, who delights in his power, forgets a crucial part that…..Megumi isn’t like him!

Check out what Megumi has to say. (aka bud doesn't want any of that sorcerers shit and just wants a domestic life)

So the thing is, was Megumi ever asked his input in choosing to be a jujutsu sorcerer? Well, yah….and all it circles back to just protecting his sister and people like her. There’s a set of problems that comes with this mindset though that Gojo was valid to point out and that is Megumi doesn’t think about himself enough. “It’s ok to be selfish!” Gojo said in the context of being a stronger sorcerer.

But at the same time, he also gave Megumi the idea to that if he doesn’t work as sorcerer, then he won’t be able to protect his sister when he was a mere 6-7y/o boy.

You know that circulating meme of Megumi pulling Mahogora for minor inconvenience? Well, guess what that tells his suicidal tendencies in protecting anyone but himself. Kid got no sense of self-preservation because his self esteemed has completely tanked itself due to his abandonment issues, and now that he’s expressing how it emotionally and physically paralyzes him, he has every valid reason to do so.

Why, yes, Gojo was 19/20 at the time he first met Megs, still a kid, doesn't know shit, and has unaddressed issues being treated as The Strongest Weapon(here’s a dedicated gojo-centric meta I wrote previously about Gojo and his issues cuz he's one complicated fool). I describe this whole situation as an unaware traumatized kid taking in another traumatized kid which is not a fun mix to have, and I understand that Gojo ain’t exactly prepared for that kind of job.

HOWEVER, I’m way harsher to point out Gojo’s failure as an adult in Megumi in the later part of the series because at this point, Gojo's a grown adult, he waxes poetry in being responsible for the next gen , and we get to see his priorities throughout the series especially with the Sukuna’s fight, like seriously he had one legitimate fun fighting someone on par with him.

Gojo DELIGHTS in power no doubt, he chooses kids with most potential, he gets excited finding those kids, and this is the type of the closest dependable adult Megumi has in his life.

Yes, financially supported but Gojo isn't around much when he's working and on demand sorcerer almost 24/7. That's why growing up sure do sucked ass for Megumi especially when no one’s really there to guide and to keep an eye on your development AS A PERSON AND NOT JUST A SORCERER which the latter part is what unfortunately Gojo’s more eager to do.

4. YUUJI, the guy who just wants Megumi to know he matters to him as a person.

Yuuji and Megumi were definitely the highlight of this chapter because in the bleak world of JJK where everyone seemed to be succumbing to the repeated fuck ups of the previous gen (like that Yuta-Gojo situation), this chapter actually offers that THERE IS HOPE that the new gen can do better like what Yuuji just did that the adults in Megumi's life are too emotionally stunted to do. Yuuji take the time to listen to Megumi's emotional thoughts, what he feels as a person, and not just listen, but to understand and empathize. It even took lots of attempts for Yuuji to make Megumi open up.

He responds to Megumi's vulnerability with care and love, and Yuuji understands the pain Megumi is going through from losing his sister. With someone in pain like that, Yuuji knows he can't just go around saying "just live" to someone who's practically suicidal.

The treat of this all is when this scene comes next. Yuuji also shows his vulnerability and expresses that Megumi matters to him!

"It's lonely without you..Fushiguro."

This scene clearly parallels Gojo and Megumi's first meeting, so I'm gonna try to throw my two cents here and explain why Gege choose this direction. Remember what I said about Yuuji giving us the hope of the new gen escaping from the shackles of generational trauma? Well, I think this parallel is a way in saying that what Megumi needed when he was so young was someone to see him and his pain who's just a kid abandoned and forced to fend for themselves because the prime adults decided to to dip out. This is Megumi we are talking about here who's unaddressed issues stays hidden beneath all the pressure of him being The Ten Shadows Technique. He's valued for his technique. That's why Gojo showed up to meet him in the first place. That's also what the jujutsu system looked after for their child soldiers. Yuuji tries to break this chain of trauma their mentor unknowingly repeats. He'll show up for Megumi again and again because he's his dear friend even if Megumi's being difficult to be pulled out of Sukuna. And the beautiful thing is Yuuji didn't had some grand inspiring speech or grand offer to convince Megumi, he wasn't even sure Megumi will be up for it. Yuuji simply want to say that he matters to him. That understands him. That he's important to him so much he'll be sad when he dies, and it mattered.

"This is...Fushiguro Megumi's...!!"

And now that Megumi is showing signs in taking his body back, it's now his turn to save himself. Yuuji did his part, and for someone whose future has been controlled by everyone but himself, this time Megumi gets to decide what comes next.

#jjk 266 #jjk manga #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #yuuji itadori #itadori yuuji #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #fushiguro toji #toji fushiguro #tsumiki fushiguro #fushiguro tsumiki #jjk meta #jjk spoilers #yall this is the fastest i pulled words out of my ass and provided evidence for it #my uni paper would never see such treatment kdngjksd #it's very messy but gah i gotta type this shit out or it will be forever be stuck in my head and messes with my daily routine lol #meta attempt

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compendiumofdecay · 2 months ago

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the ink that never dries

chapter two

professor shigaraki x reader

cw/tags for this chapter: slow burn, tension, yearning

tags for entire fic: age gap, slow burn, professor x student, older!tomura, non-canon university au

"The difference between acting and faking is the emotional connection. When you act out a scene, you use memory as a baseline for your actions and reactions" The professor walks up the small, rotting staircase to the stage. He sways as he speaks, a small hunch in his shoulders.

You lock eyes with him as he continues. His red eyes glimmer behind the lens of his wiry glasses that perch loosely on his nose, his voice lilting. "When you act out a scene, you have to immerse yourself in the role. You are not an NPC. You are the focus, you are the reason for the scene. See this, for example-" he slides off the stage and grabs a small book, flipping it open to a tabbed page, before hoisting himself back onto the stage and reading aloud.

"Fortunato’s step was not sure," he moves, his feet falling softly against the lacquered wood. "...Because of the wine he had been drinking." Professor Shigaraki makes his movements a bit shakier now, swaying as he looks around, his head tracing the room with a wondrous gaze. "He looked uncertainly around him, trying to see through the thick darkness which pushed in around us", he squints his eyes just slightly, almost unnoticeably, as he holds a hand up, feeling down an imaginary wall.

He tosses the book down by his feet with a thud. You, along with some other classmates, jump at the sound before he smirks to himself, and comes to the front of the stage.

"See how with every line, my body falls effortlessly into the role, how I play it out like its me? Don't let the script run you- you run it. You're the human, the paper is just a guideline". You nod as you jot a few pointers down in a notebook.

Shigaraki clasps his hands together. A student raises their hand and he points to them.

"But, isn't the whole point of a script to tell you what to do? How to act it out?"

The professor smiles and tilts his head, "In a sense. But the paper can only suggest how to act it out. You can hang your head to show shame, but, its more natural if you react how you would in real life". He comes down the stairs and approaches the front rows of desks, yours included. He grabs the notebook from your hand, flipping to a different page. "Pen?" He holds his hand out to you.

As he scribbles down, he nods.

"How do you react to your dog dying?" He asks out, and a few students mumble. He points out, and one student answers.

"I cry", she says. he writes something down.

"Good. How about you?" another student responds, "I also cry".

He points around to a few others. "It depends on how I find out, how young it is, if they're sick" one student says, and he smiles with a "Yes!"

"It's situational. You have to read between the lines". he keeps writing down, and shows the class the page briefly. "Most of you said crying, or accepting it, or screaming. But the truth is- how would you know how you'd react to a specific situation? You have to accumulate emotion, collect the eggs, unlock a range of memories to use as your weapon."

He hands the notebook back to you. In the corner, he left a small note.

"Does that mean we have to kill dogs?"

He turns with a furrowed brow and raises his hands up in confusion. "No? No- don't kill dogs, Jesus Christ. No. The point I'm trying to make is, you have to live. Experience life, and get to understand yourself and your emotions. That's how you reach peak performance. Acting is just as much a science as it is art. Understand yourself so you may help others understand."

A few students begin grabbing their bags. He checks the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. "That's time, I guess. Finish the Cask reading, on Thursday we'll discuss how to act it out. It's a short story, please don't slack. If you can't read five pages, I have no hope for you. Oh, and remember to submit your imagery assignment by Friday morning..!" His voice trails off as he watches the students leave, pinching the bridge of his nose.

As the last of the class files out, you remain seated. he loosens the red tie around his neck and sits at his own desk across from you.

"I wanted to talk to you about your most recent submission," he begins, and you suck in the air through your teeth. "It's not bad, just...where did you get the idea for that?"

The assignment was to write a short opening scene set in a dystopian society. You'd set yours in a universe where, instead of wealth or power, their ranking system was based off of how many times their soul had been reborn.

"I particularly liked the line where you had the protagonist, I assume, speaking with the "big bad,"" he clicks his teeth and tries to paraphrase the line. "I will find you again".

You feel something light in your chest as he re-reads the paper again after finding it. "In every life, my soul will latch to yours".

You pick at the skin around your nails. Hearing it out loud, especially from him, was way different than reading it to yourself. You'd raked over the draft over and over, eventually turning it in in defeat. "It's a bit cliche, I know-" you start, but he holds up his hand.

"No, no. If you can execute it properly, cliche can work" "I have plans to make the villain win at the end" Your voices overlap and he stops talking. With a brow lifted, he urges you to continue.

"I want it to be cliche at first- but throughout the script, its unveiled that the actual dystopia is the curse of rebirth itself." As you speak, he nods. You can't help but feel his eyes rake over you, the way he leans in, the tension between you both in the small classroom. "The antagonist is actually just someone who wants the cycle to end, but the protagonist is the supposed "hero" who only cheated life for their role in society".

He adjusts his collar slightly, scratching at the pale skin beneath it. He stands from his own seat and steps up to yours. "Conceptually, its great. In the opening act, it sounds like your hero is making a promise to protect society- when really-"

"Its a threat" You look up at him, and his lips curl. He places a hand firmly onto the desk's surface, and lowers himself down to meet your gaze.

"I love the sound of that" his voice lowers just a few notches, like it's a secret between the two of you. You look away for a moment, but the sting of crimson floods your brain. His words chain you back to the ground as he finalizes his thoughts. "You're a damn good writer. Don't let our own dystopia steal that from you".

He's managed to sear himself into your mind.

Every step you take through the now melting snow leaves a trail from the 310 building, like sprinkling breadcrumbs for carnivores. The invisible red thread, the same cherry-wine red of Tomura's eyes, the red of the velvet curtain on that old stage.

His voice plays like a haunting as you stare up at the sky, counting every star like you count the markings on his face. There's a small, but distinct crease between his brow whenever he reads something. His tired eyes that light up like traffic markers as he demonstrates a scene. When he smiles, the birthmark below his mouth shifts slightly upwards. Every word that leaves his pale pink lips hangs heavily with the weight of understanding. Everything reminds you of him.

So cliche- cut it out.

"If you can execute it properly, cliche can work".

Just because it can, doesn't mean it should. Fate is cliche, invisible string is cliche. Professor and student is...No.

The fortitude you'd built over the years would not crumble for the first person who acknowledged you, especially not a man double your age. This wasn't a Nabokov novel- this was real life, and fantasies were merely that. A subject of fantasy, fiction.

Though, it gave you a pretty good idea of what to write for the next assignment.

#decay.txt #decay.fic #bnha #mha #my hero academia #shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #tenko shimura #tomura shigaraki

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thesummerstorms · 9 months ago

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I can acknowledge that the text SAYS that Annabeth Chase worked out her problems with her dad, that her stepmom seemed "nice", and that her "resentment" is described as seemingly unimportant in Blood of Olympus. I can acknowledge the text SAYS that Annabeth's family problems are resolved.

However. That does not mean that I actually buy it. If RR wanted me to accept that outcome, he should have done the actual work of proving it.

Yes we have the scene with the plane and Mrs. Chase telling Percy that Annabeth has a home.

But those two scenes in TTC don't actually work as a source of a resolution to that plot thread because they don't address the root of the problem- Annabeth being hurt by Frederick's neglect and her step-mother 's blame/callousness.

Even if they ARE trying to do better now (which to honest, feels like a cop out to me, almost as if RR just decided he no longer wanted to write that thread and cut it off quickly) the problem lies in what already happened in the past and how badly Annabeth was hurt by it.

She could have died so, so easily, and even if you want to argue perfect intent for the Chase adults (which I don't) she was emotionally fucked up by what happened for years. This has already happened.

But there's not even a hint of an apology or actual reflection on what caused those events and how things need to be moving forward. It's just assumed that TTC automatically fixes everything.

And yes, I actively have a post going around about how an author has to pick and choose their narratives and what they want to focus on for what characters.

But I would argue that RR already chose to make that plot line an important part of the plot- given how it drives Annabeth's motivations and actionals on an emotional level for pretty much all of TTC- it's just that he handled it badly.

If it was going to be addressed, especially if it was going to be "fixed", then we needed more to convince us that Annabeth had reason to trust her parents again. And again, for me one plane scene that doesn't go into what Annabeth has already experienced doesn't work for me personally.

Especially when you look at things like how Annabeth was still living in boarding schools full time, her description of the night she ran away in HOH, her persistent fear of abandonment.

And before anyone brings it up, I do actually have some sympathy for Frederick Chase. I personally am deeply adverse to the idea of having children of my own, so putting myself in his shoes of having been given a whole infant I never wanted and didn't know was a possibility, freaks me out a little too!

BUT. That doesn't change the fact that he had a responsibility as an adult-

to either choose to raise Annabeth fully as his child and accept the responsibility that entailed

to find someone who could take care of her the way she deserved if he was not emotionally or mentally able to fulfill those needs.

I'm not saying any of it would be easy, but he did in fact have a basic obligation to make sure Annabeth was receiving care from SOMEONE. That's basic decency as an adult with some form of power over a child even if he DIDN'T want to be her father.

But his refusal to actually commit to either path just did MORE damage in the long run.

And he's free to try and make amends, I guess. People can change.

But I just don't feel there's enough to show that he really has long term, much less to give ANNABETH reason to believe he has.

#annabeth chase #frederick chase #pjo #percy jackson

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wutheringmights · 1 year ago

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I finished rereading The Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce a couple of days back. I already talked about the first book in a post that garnered more attention than it deserved. I guess we were all happily reminiscing about the menstruation scenes together, or Tortall fans are so starved for content they (we) will reblog anything.(Understandable. I too am starved for a thriving Tortall fandom.)

I'm too lazy to make separate posts about each book, so we're just going to do a mega post covering the second, third, and fourth book.

Unlike last time, I will be giving a little criticism to this series. I still love it endlessly, but there were a few things about the prose I thought was interesting that I want to talk about a bit.

So, without further ado~

In the Hand of the Goddess

I think this one is my favorite one, despite how rushed the plot it. It contains all of my favorite plot points, like awkward romances with George and Jon, attending knight lessons, and a little summer war. Fun stuff.

But it definitely feels rushed. I really wish someone told Pierce to make this a 12 book series, expanding on Alanna's years at the castle. It would have gone so far to better develop the romances and the friendships in these books.

I am fascinated by what Pierce chose to skim over. Characters would die or kiss for the first time off screen, with the prose resuming with Alanna reacting to it. It demonstrates an understanding of character work that I personally adore and try to emulate in my own writing-- the real bones of a story being in how characters respond to fantastic events as opposed to the fantastic events themselves.

Also, the whole veil spell Roger cast in objectively stupid, and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. You're telling me that Roger used magic to make Alanna lose interest in doing anything about the obviously evil things he was doing? That's fucking hilarious. You know an editor came back to Pierce and asked her to come up with a reason why Alanna wasn't just going to spring into action at the first sign of Roger trying to kill her, only for Pierce to come up with this. It's so silly. I love it.

Woman Who Rides Like A Man

Did this book age poorly? Yes, but not as badly as I remembered. That's not a stirring defense, and it's really not meant to be.

The Bahzir are a mess of Orientalism, and Pierce definitely deserves criticism for not only the way she wrote them but for the ways in which she frames their cultural practices as something that needs to be fixed. Having Alanna want to force them to change their culture to suit her beliefs is not a great look for both the character and the writer. And that's not even getting into the whole assimilation plotline.

But I did enjoy Pierce's attempts to expand on the definition of womanhood, especially as a part of Alanna learning to embrace femininity. There is this running thread in these last two books of Alanna learning about all the different ways to be a woman and choosing for herself what her gender means to her. It's not done particularly well, and anyone looking for a revolutionary examination of gender roles and identity is going to be sorely disappointed. But there's an attempt here that I can't help but appreciate.

This book is also where Pierce starts to slow the plot down, which lends it to having the most reasonable pacing out of the bunch. That being said, it's also the book where the lack of development for a bunch of the side characters start to hurt. I really wish Gary or Raoul joined Alanna in the desert. Raoul gets his moment in the sun with the Protector of the Small books, but Gary remains largely forgettable. In fact, I spent this entire read-through convinced this man dies at the end of the last book, if only because I can't remember where he appears in any of the other books.

Lioness Rampant

This book somehow has the improved pacing of the third book while still feeling rushed. The quest for the Dominion Jewel really should have been it's own book, if only to give Thayet and Buri more room for development. Thayet in particular really needs her moment to shine, especially when she continues to be an important character in the other series.

But do you know who did get a lot of screen time? Liam.

Remembered shit about this guy before going into this book. I could only vaguely recalled disliking him as a kid, but not as much as I venomously hated Jon. (Speaking of which-- I love the way this man is realistically shitty. Him getting dumped by Alanna is always my favorite scene.) But Liam? Fuck that guy. Holy shit. I give full applause to Pierce for portraying the important milestones every girl goes through growing up, which includes having a situationship that is so shitty that it becomes essential character development.

Roger's return feels very... cheesy? I think Alex should have stepped up to be the final villain on the story. Unlike Roger, Alex was Alanna's friend. They have history. The betrayal would have imbued that final fight with so many more emotions than it ultimately had. I also would have liked Alanna to have at least meaningfully talked to Alex sometime before the climax.

Honestly, it's impressive how reactive Alanna is as a character in the last half of the book. She doesn't seek out how to stop Roger's plan, or fix Thom, or anything. Other characters make plans and she just... waits for something to go wrong.

That being said, by virtue of Alanna's relationships with George, Liam, and Jon all happening sometime in this plot, this book becomes a good place to look to get the full berth of how Pierce handles romances. Which, I love her approach. The romances are never over the top or, for lack of a better word, too romantic. It's very down to earth, with characters dating, marrying, or breaking up for realistic reasons.

Jon and Alanna were friends who broke up because they had different life plans. Liam and Alanna broke up for having fundamentally different values. As much as I bitch about how shitty Jon and Liam are, they're not cartoonishly evil. They're just a little shitty the way most of your exes will be. Jon and Liam are men could find love with someone else. They just aren't suited for Alanna.

Meanwhile, the most romantic things George does are wait for her and be supportive. He doesn't fight or get territorial. He makes his feelings clear, then waits for Alanna's cues. Alanna definitely loves him, but she ends up with him in the end because their lifestyles and core beliefs meld together. There's no grand romantic gesture or whirlwind affairs. They are just a good pair.

I have read stories with far heavier focuses on romance, and none of those couples feel as perfect as Alanna and George. Those stories prioritize all the gooey moments over showing why the main couple should get together. For how little romantic interactions they have, you believe these two could have a successful marriage. Perfect stuff.

---

Over all, I really enjoyed rereading these books. For all my griping, I still love the story. I love Alanna. She's a character who is fundamental to my soul. No matter where I am in life, I will always want to open these books and find her again, to walk back into Tortall and join her on her quest to be a lady knight.

My copies of the series come with forewards from a previous edition. In one of them, Pierce wrote that this series started off as an adult fantasy story that was much darker and edgier. I need to know what that story looks like, what happened in it. Pierce can claim as she wants that she hardly remembers what it looks like, but I refuse to believe that. Release the unedited first draft, Pierce. I am begging you.

#it probably has on screen gay sex for thom and roger #anyway that's the alanna series. the library book i ordered is still not here yet so now I'm off to find another short-ish book to read #this book better come in before june or else i will lose it. i am putting off reading the illiad for this #me rambling #bookish #books and reading #books #bookblr #tortall #song of the lioness #tamora pierce #me reading

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oneatlatime · 2 years ago

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Bitter Work

Life took me out at the knees for a couple of weeks but I'm back! I'm hoping this is a nice restful episode after the relentlessness of The Chase.

I have to say, Toph's nicknaming skills are on point. I never would have thought of Sugarqueen, but it fits perfectly.

This is me. Every morning.

Full nose plant from Appa.

And the beat up Sokka quota is fulfilled. Very funny Toph, but completely uncalled for. If someone had catapulted teenage me 50 feet into the air while I was trying to sleep, it would have been fully justifiable homicide.

Aang is always trying to run before he can walk. What was Iroh always saying to Zuko about basics? Aang needs that speech too.

I was really on the ball in my post about how airbenders aren't homicidal, actually. Rock is a stubborn element. Yay me!

Aang earthbends = Earth bends Aang.

Seriously, how did he mess up that badly?

Cozy.

Thank you Zuko for the incredibly obvious exposition that's somehow completely in character. Interesting to see that Iroh and his son had brown hair, but Zuko seems to have black hair. More hair variety in the Fire Nation than I thought.

Tangent time! I love the contrast in social intelligence (I guess that's the term?) in this scene. Zuko wakes Iroh up with an infodump, some bad tea, and then gets straight to discussing strategy. Iroh's first actions are to compliment the bad tea, then dispose of the refill in a way that won't hurt Zuko's feelings (probably not necessary, as Zuko seems to be the type that's oblivious to all things other than the task at hand when he's focused). Iroh, injured and awake for all of 15 seconds, jumps straight to actions that help look after his nephew. And Zuko is trying! That's why he made tea! But still, he doesn't even ask if his uncle's feeling ok. Zuko has such a massive gap in his education - he can probably reel off the specs of all Fire Nation battleships, but he doesn't know how to be a human person. Contrast that with Iroh, and especially Katara, who makes friends and connections with such aggressive forwardness that she's at times more steamroller than teenage girl. It's funny how privilege plays into this too - Zuko comes from probably the single most privileged (on paper) family in the world, yet it's the children of the impoverished water tribe who have the more well-rounded education/socialisation.

"She's crazy and she needs to go down" go a full belly laugh out of me.

"What if I came at the boulder from a different angle?" Jesus I was REALLY on point with my post about the airbenders. Credit where credit is due, this show has such good writing/worldbuilding that viewers have picked up what Toph is laying out in this episode already. Also a little bit of stealth character work in there - since Toph is putting into words what we've been thinking this whole time, she now reads as trustworthy. This show is so good. So thought out.

Maybe it's just VLC being weird, but methinks Katara is having some trouble with her eyeball.

Katara STOP BABYING HIM. This is why I don't like Aang having a crush on her.

Honestly it's refreshing to have Toph giving it to Aang straight, no softening the blows.

I really like this texture.

Sokka's club is a giant bottle opener. Or at least a multitool.

ROCK SUITS

wait

ELEMENTAL FASHION

oh this is going to be haybending all over again.

They are totally going to have to nerf this girl. She could defeat the Fire Lord right now.

Earth beats water tribe

Someome who knows more about tea than I do: Why are both pots necessary?

"requires peace of mind" well that's out. Sorry Zuko, we'll have to get you a taser instead.

"So we're drinking tea to calm down?" "not it's to get the nasty ass taste of the sludge you brewed out of my mouth. I mean yes." For what's looking like an extended training montage, this episode is far funnier than it needs to be.

I pretty much don't notice Zuko's scar anymore (it's just part of his character design) then every so often a certain frame of animation will come out of the blue and remind me that this kid's missing half his face. I don't know if it's intentional on the part of the animators, but his scar is prominent this episode.

So it sounds like bending lightning actually corresponds with how lightning in our world works. Neat.

In an absolutely Shocking turn of events (pun absolutely intended), Zuko fucks it up. Fucking shit up: the autobiography of a Fire Prince. Has a nice ring to it.

Toph I know you go hard, but maybe apply a sense of proportion to this?

It kind of looks like Aang's about to be run over by a giant scoop of caramel ice cream.

Toph is such an interesting mishmash of bluntness and emotional intelligence. I don't think I've seen a character like that before.

Zuko being self aware for once! Everything always does explode in his face. Except when he's being the Blue Spirit. Seems he's more capable then.

It's a tragedy that this boy wasn't around for the emo movement. He would have single-handedly sustained Hot Topic.

Zuko going "WHAT TURMOIL?!?!?" is like Katara going "I'M COMPLETELY CALM!!!!!" last episode. Also got a laugh out of me.

"I'm as proud as ever." OF WHAT?!?!? What could he possibly be proud of? He's a homeless fugitive with a stolen horse bird and a half-dead uncle that he can't even properly brew tea for. The self-delusion is strong.

Is pride the source of shame? Honest question, I don't know.

There's a surprising variety of trees in this part of the Earth Kingdom. Where Zuko and Iroh are there are fluffly hardwoods, probably deciduous; Toph's training ground is ringed by cartoon pines.

This whole bit is too cute for words.

"Now come back boomerang" This is a training episode, it's not supposed to be this funny!

Are there voice acting awards? Like voice acting oscars? Sokka's actor needs one. Or several.

I should have waited to answer the ask about airbenders and just copy pasted Iroh's speech here. Except for the water = change bit. That doesn't make sense.

What can I possibly say about Iroh's speech? It's the thesis for this show in a single paragraph.

Pretty.

Are characters' eyes a different shape this episode? Aang's eyes change colour all the time, but everyone's eyes seem more cat-like.

I do love me some constructive bullying.

Sokka is so refreshingly self-aware while still totally oblivious. He is meat and sarcasm, but he's so much more!

"Have you got any meat?" He said that in an Irish accent.

"You're gonna pull my fingers off and I don't think the rest of me is coming!" Do you ever come across a sentence that is so obviously an innuendo that your brain trips over itself trying to decipher it?

Sokka's hair must be so fluffy. It's got so much volume.

Why can't he go get Toph? I think being stuck in a hole outranks avoiding an awkward encounter.

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

"You must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly." Foreshadowing?

Today in 'things Zuko thinks it's acceptable, nay, expected, for parental figures to do' - attempted murder as a teaching method! What went on in that palace?

Is this the closest Sokka's come to dying?

He's earthbending the air! Doing air but earthlike. You know what I mean.

I thought she was levitating.

Toph is so smart. She does the airbender thing and comes at the problem from a different angle. Telling Aang to stand up for himself doesn't work? Fine. Let's bully him into standing up for himself. And it works!

This episode's MVP is Sokka's patience.

"You tried the positive reinforcement, didn't you?" uhhhhh sure!

Appa getting vengeance for Sokka. Nice.

Theatre kids.

I wish Zuko would just have the breakdown he's obviously hurtling towards so we can get started on the rebuilding arc. Every time I think he's a rock bottom, he keeps digging.

Luten is Katara. Let's not read too far into that one.

Final Thoughts

I defy any episode from this point on to fulfill the Beat Up Sokka Quota as thoroughly as this one did.

In a lesser show, the 'Aang learns earthbending episode' would have had Aang & Toph as the A-plot, and Sokka & Katara doing something completely unrelated as a b-plot, and probably no Zuko at all. Sokka does have his own thing going on this episode, but the fact that they managed to weave in both water tribe siblings so organically is so satisfying. Of course a team member struggling to learn a new skill would seek out his friends. Of course his friends are in the area, observing the lesson to varying degrees. It feels so much more real to have the characters who aren't 'useful' that episode still there, rather than conveniently absent.

Zuko was very Zuko this episode. He's correct that he needs more training for his inevitable next encounter with Zuko jr., but Iroh is also correct that Zuko is a bundle of issues held together by a different bundle of issues. Not to jinx it, but I thought I detected a hint of self-awareness from Zuko this episode, although it seems to have occurred despite his best efforts to suppress it.

Iroh's Zuko-wrangling skills were sharp this episode, despite being injured. And his wisdom was off the charts. Zuko was also not as annoying as I usually find him, and unlike in Zuko Alone where I found his quieter self to be out of character, it fit this episode. Maybe he's turned over a new, quieter, leaf? I loved "she's crazy and she needs to go down" both as a joke and as a statement. Shared blood doesn't trump someone's actions, and I'm glad to see a show meant for kids acknowledge that. Although, given that this show has no problem depicting objectively BAD parents and families, I can't say I'm surprised.

In a testament to Jack de Sena's skill, Sokka get a soliloquy this episode and pulls it off flawlessly. Kudos to the animation team for making Sokka's face fit the words so well. Double kudos for whoever had the balls to approve 'stick Sokka in a hole and put an apex predator on his head to force self-reflection' as a plotline.

There was a lot of exposition from a lot of different characters this episode, but it's mostly unnoticeable. It just makes sense that that's what they would be talking about at that point in time.

I think I said it above, but I'll say it again: the worldbuilding in this show is phenomenally well done. How do I know this? Because I was able to construct most of Iroh's monologue before watching this episode, just by paying attention. This show rewards focus and attentiveness. (Almost) nothing that Iroh said was not something the audience has already observed for themselves. Not heard, but observed. That 'show, don't tell' thing.

This episode was way funnier than it needed to be too. Not just the obvious stuff like *inhales*

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

but tiny one-liners buried mid-conversation and character interactions too. Momo turning into a reed didn't have to be there, but it was, and it was funny. It wasn't exactly restful, but it was a relief to have an episode that really didn't move around after The Chase.

What I like most about this episode was that it went farther than it had to. This was a training episode. It could have been just training. Anyone familiar with training episodes would expect just training, and be satisfied with just training. But Avatar said 'nope, we'll do better than that' and organically incorporated a heap of character stuff, worldbuilding from multiple perspectives, humour, multiple characters undergoing self-reflection, the next step in the domestication of Zuko, what I'm hoping wasn't a heap of foreshadowing, and pretty backgrounds as the cherry on top. They didn't have to go so hard, but Avatar always goes hard. I like that.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #bitter work

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queervegancryptid · 4 months ago

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I just rewatched the last two episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena. I just suddenly had a burning desire to see that in particular, and fortunately, it's on YouTube, the whole series.

And I gotta say, it hits differently now. It was always a powerful show, and the ending in particular is beautiful and kinda makes the show, in my opinion. I adored it immediately, and I'm really happy they had 39 episodes as opposed to maybe a dozen, which is how it would be if it were made today. You absolutely could make it today, though; the beautiful and terrible thing is, it actually is timeless in a lot of ways. And rewatching the ending episodes in particular now, like I said, it hits differently.

I've seen it at least a couple dozen times, but I don't think I've ever cried at it that much before. I guess maybe that's part of growing up. I really want to write about it, actually. It haunts me, in a good but lately very painful way.

This is about the political situation, if that's not clear. But it's about a lot more than just who the president is. It's about the lies people tell themselves, how people in power gaslight others into doing their dirty work for them, and yes, how patriarchy fucks things up for literally everyone but a fraction of a percentage of the population who have a vested interest in promoting it.

It's a good metaphor for a big part of what's going on in terms of political and social attitudes. One thing I don't see talked about much is the scene where the student council are doing their spiel, riding up the elevator together one last time. They each put a rose in a vase on the table. As they go in, they are shown to be different colors, based on each person's signature color. After Touga puts a white rose in, for Utena, the vase is shown again. Now, all the roses look the same.*

The meaning, I think, is two-fold. First, all of them being there together to hold a kind of vigil for Utena as she fights Akio unites them. They entered as individuals, but as long as Utena is fighting in this final duel, they're together, so the old differences and divisions don't matter.

Second, I feel like it should be considered along with the planetarium and Akio's tendency towards manipulation. That is to say, maybe all the roses are actually the same color, but his planetarium makes them look different; in the same way, his manipulative actions can't work without sowing division between people and pitting them against each other, and against their own interests. He literally gaslights everyone; the social hierarchy in terms of the school's nobility class (the student council) is itself a manipulation designed to keep them competitive with each other rather than being cooperative towards their shared best interests. Or like. Actually doing student council stuff.

Sound familiar? There's a lot more I want to say, but I need to get my thoughts in order. Anyway, I haven't rewatched the movie in a long time, but I'm guessing that will hit me a little differently now, too. I really don't like the voices in the dub, which is all I have access to streaming. But life finds a way, as the saying goes.

Expect more Utena-based posting in the near future as I distract myself from the things I can't control that are scaring me. But as always, if it's political, I try to tag it with "nik gets political" and 'us politics" if relevant, so people can block those tags if they want to.

* I posted this without that sentence, which really clarifies my point lol sorry

#revolutionary girl utena #shoujo kakumei utena #us politics #nik gets political #utena meta #this show is bursting at the seams with allegory and shit tho #i adore it so much

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miss0atae · 4 months ago

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Random Thoughts about The Heart Killers (EP 1 – 6) : An interesting Rom-Com with morally grey characters.

The long awaited post I've wanted to make, but always failed to do properly. Since we are not getting an episode today (which is a damn crime because the wait is killing me!), I've decided to feed my poor soul with some writing about the series. I won't add anything that haven't already been said on here, so I won't feel sad if you don't pay attention to this post. It's just me screaming in the void of internet to try thinking about something else. I knew I would like this series (I like the actors, the directors, the plot… everything has been set according to my own taste), but I try to reason with me. You shouldn't put too many expectations on a series, otherwise you're at a risk of being disappointed. I also give better advice that I never really follow, so yes I had expectations and until now they have been fulfilled. I would be lying if I didn't say that at one point or another I was really annoyed by the characters' actions. I tend to forget that the series is 12 episodes and I'm looking forward to seeing the sweet scenes between the main couples (real ones with no lying). I was promised a rom-com, so don't be mad at me for being a little fool here. I'm a bit impatient as you can see. However, I know that I shouldn't react in the heat of the moment so I waited until now to write something about The Heart Killers.

Usually, in a rom-com you get characters that are archetypes usually found in this type of story. In the Heart Killers, most of the characters are neither good neither totally evil (except maybe Mother, but she may also have a good side, who knows). All characters have their strengths and weaknesses and they may appear on different sides, but they all have a strong, justifiable reason for doing what they are doing. I've making this grid for a while now. I may have forgotten some information, but it's just my own perception of the series so far. Things may change in the coming episodes.

So why was I annoyed by the characters at one point or another? I guess one part of the reason is that I forgot the structure of a rom-com because of the unique setting the screenwriters and the director put our main characters in. Any rom-com follows a certain structure in three times I would say.

• The first part is the presentation of the setting, the characters and their unfulfilled needs.

• The second part is when you have the meet-cute (or not so cute) between the characters. It is followed by the honeymoon stage until obstacles arise at the midpoint and the relationship is in jeopardy (that's where we are right now in the story). Usually, it's when the couple break up or start to have doubts.

• The third and final part is the moment of realization where the characters can view themselves outside the relationship and decide what are their new desire and goals. It leads everyone to the final of the story that usually ends on a happy note or at least give the viewers some hope for the characters if they don't end up together (my personal choice would be a happy ending for everyone, but I like to be surprised).

We've seen the first part already and have moved on the second part. I believe in the Heart Killers the break-up part could be different. Will the characters really break-up now that they think they have understood the needs of the others?! I don't think so. I believe they are all going to pretend to be together to try to outmatch the other ones and to learn the truth. They believe they are in opposite sides, but the truth is their main enemy who is working against their desire/happy ending remains Mother and to a lesser extent Keen (until Mother works against him and he may become an ally to the main leads). We could probably add the Captain too.

So, even knowing that, the question remains: why was I annoyed by the characters, despite loving everything else?! It's because I viewed them through my own sets of value while forgetting who they are and the setting of the series. To be fair, I'm used to rom-com characters who usually are not morally wrong. Here, in this story, none of them is really right or wrong. After all, they are on different standpoints and the perspectives they can reach are not the same. They represent different sides with different views (sorry I'm rambling here). I would say, Style may be the only characters who didn't have a criminal past and his worst fault is that he didn't flirt (at first) with Fadel for love, but for greed to possess Kant's car. The other characters, Kant, Bison and Fadel, all are or were a criminal at one point. Does it mean that criminals can't fall in love because what they are doing is morally wrong? The story doesn't agree with this point, as all of them were dragged to this because of something external. Kant needed money to take care of his brothers and Fadel and Bison were forced into this line of work by their “guardian” Mother who pretends to make them go after other “criminals” because the justice system isn't doing the right wrong. In some way, she isn't wrong, as the only “justice” figure we meet in the story is Captain Christ. He isn't a nice guy too as he is threatening Kant to force him to do his work in exchange for freedom from his past.

The idea of writing morally grey characters is interesting as it maintain the suspense, both in the relationship between the main leads, but also in the core structure of the story. The characters had needs at the beginning of the story, but their desire slowly changed by interacting with their lovers and other characters. It is also good for viewers as they have the opportunity to prefer one side over the other one. I changed my mind a lot during those six episodes. I was feeling terribly sorry for Bison when I saw Kant's playing with his heart, but in the last two episodes, I understood how hard it must be for him to keep pretending while also falling in love, despite knowing the truth. I was amused by Style's aggressive flirting with Fadel, but also felt annoyed on behalf of Fadel as I noticed how his "secret life" was putting a toll on his mental health. Choosing to have morally grey characters work better with the setting of the story. Otherwise, who would root for hitmen to fall in love? The fact we care so much about the actions of the main characters and what impact it will have on their romantic relationship, confuse us and make us anticipate the next move they may make. It also allows the true villains of the story to actively continue working against our main leads' happiness. The ones who really gain from the new feud between the main couples are the Captain and Mother. They may believe they are in their rights, but they use the main characters as chest pieces, without regard for the toll it can have on their well-being.

Mother is using the maternal figure she has set to control Fadel and Bison's action. She is pretending to care about them. She willfully taught them how to be hitmen to supposedly kill other criminals. The reason may appears good, but the actions are not valid. You can't Pay Evil unto Evil. She pushed our characters in this place by using the death of their parents as an example of failed justice. She knows much buttons to push to keep them in the place she wants them to be. Mother pretends to understand that they are tired of being hitmen and that this job will be the last one, but will it really be the last one? She also purposely and actively works against their happiness, by keeping them lonely. Bison and Fadel may think they are in controls, but the viewers can see, they don't really have a say in their actions or life. They never settled before and they don't really know how to. They find a different way to cope with this, but deep down they are still prisoners of what Mother has made of their life. As for Kant, he is also being controlled by the Captain who knows about his desire to protect and care about his younger brother. He uses his criminal past to make him an informant. Unlike Mother who pretends to act as a true mother to the brothers, he doesn't lie about his real view of Kant. However, just like her, he knows much buttons to push to keep Kant working for him.

As for me now, I can’t wait for Bison, Kant, Fadel and Style to overcome the lying part and the feeling of betrayal they will have regarding their relationship, so they can all be on the same side and fight against their real enemies.

#bl series #bl drama #thai series #thai bl #my thoughts #random thoughts #the heart killers #the heart killers the series #episode 1 to 6 #It took a while to write this post but I'm happy now #thanks again to all the gif creators you made this post even better with your beautiful creations #could be a perfectible post but I did my best #A bit sad we didn't get an episode today but I tried to comfort me with this post #fadelstyle #kantbison

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tc-doherty · 1 year ago

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Hey! In your practical writing tips - post you said novels require lots of telling. I've noticed this too when I read, amazing books that tell a lot vs. showing but all advice gears to show and that's what I've been learning to do. Since I can't find anyone that teaches when to tell vs. show and how much tell vs. show is right and why telling is good etc. I was wondering if you could elaborate on this? Why some books that tell a lot are very engaging and others can't keep my attention? I'm so interested to see your thoughts! Thank you.

Like I said in that post, teaching people how to write isn't really my jam so this is less a teaching guide and more just my assorted thoughts on the subject based on my own opinions and the habits that I follow.

I guess what it boils down to is this. You can't really say that either showing or telling is more important in a novel, but the things that you show are perhaps more relevant.

For example, if you describe the morning routine of your character in great detail every single morning, readers are going to get bored. The story will grind to a halt. Yes you're showing us that, which most people would say is a good thing based on "show don't tell", but the information isn't relevant. If you're setting up a fantasy or sci-fi story it might be relevant once or even twice to show us how things work, but not every single time.

Similarly, if your character gets news telling them that someone they love has perished, you don't want to simply say that it made them sad. You want to show us their reaction. What do they do? What do they say? What physical sensations do they have? Are they lightheaded, do they feel out of breath, does their throat hurt because they're trying not to cry? That information is all relevant to the character, the scene, and the reader. If you simply say they're sad, then your story feels too shallow.

Many people might consider dialogue a kind of telling, but really it's both. What the characters say, how they say it, and also what they don't say can show us a lot about who they are as a person, which is relevant information to the audience even if they're simply explaining something that would be considered exposition. But what do your characters actually need to say or hear? And what can you relay to us through something happening in the background, for instance?

And what about the genre? I like to write road trip novels, which means I spend a lot of time showing the minutiae of the journey. That's relevant because the story is the journey that's being taken. But sometimes your characters just have to get from one place to another, and you don't need to get bogged down in it. You can just say that they took a bus or boat or horse or whatever.

Balancing it in any given story is the writing equivalent of "this meeting could have been email". What do you actually have to get together in a conference room to discuss (show the readers in detail) versus what can be summarized in a few sentences in an email? What will make you bored out of your mind if you see too much of it, versus what will leave you lost and confused without it?

And of course just because something is telling or summarized doesn't mean that the way that you write isn't important! Your writing should still be engaging even when you're telling. Pay attention to the words you use, the rhythm of your sentences, the variety of sentence lengths, things like that. If something is pleasant to read it will keep the reader's attention on the page. If the sentence rhythms or lengths are too similar, it becomes "monotone" and causes people's attention to wander.

Something I pay special attention to is that - unless the narrator is subjective or unreliable - I don't tell something about characters in the narration which is shown to be false. Nothing gets me riled up like supposedly objective narration which tells me a character is like so and I should feel like this about them, but then their dialogue and actions reveal that to be patently false and I feel some other way. Of course that is something that relies on the narrator being objective and having access to more information than we do. If it's a POV character who might just be unobservant, overly arrogant, biased, or kinda stupid, that's fine

When it comes to showing versus telling in regards to the background/description...well. I struggle a lot with description because I have almost complete aphantasia and can't visualize things easily. So I cheat! Anything that I describe in detail is something that my POV character is actually paying attention to. The level of detail varies from book to book based on what kind of person has the POV and what sorts of things they notice. And again, that's relevant to the audience because it's information which is relevant to the character. This is also really great way to start building up to any kind of romantic interest, because people do tend to pay a lot more attention to people they're interested in!

I feel like this has gotten really long, so if there's anything that you would like me to elaborate on more or I wasn't clear about, feel free to send another ask! I won't say I'm objectively right (usually lol) but I'm always happy to talk shop.

Hopefully some of it can be helpful to you or at least give you some things to start thinking about. And of course, it's always a good way to start by studying books that you read and seeing what you like and what you don't like and how it's been handled in both.

#writeblr #writing #writing advice #thanks for the ask #I hope I could help :3

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 8 months ago

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Role Reversal

Roman kept mentioning that he doesn’t like transformations and it kept reminding me of Patton turning into a giant frog and Janus disguising himself as other sides. It would be very cool and epic if you could make some Roman angst based off this concept (no pressure obviously) – anon

The song "I Am in Great Pain, Please Help Me" by Crywank reminds me so much of Roman (specifically, your brand of Roman angst). I was wondering if you had the spoons for it, to write something inspired by it? No pressure to, ofc! – anon

Perhaps something where Roman is comforting Logan and then after Roman leaves, Logan is like, “Wait, shit, I should have been comforting YOU!”. You know the scene in What Makes A Perfect Gift where Logan asks for Roman’s input and Roman looks genuinely surprised? The angst potential for Roman not thinking he’s needed at a BRAINSTORM is so slept on. I know you’ve had a lot of Roman angst asks lately so I understand if you don’t want to do it, but I definitely wanted to ask just in case! – anon

Roman angst disguised as Logan centric. Logan Sherlock fic about him trying to figure out why Thomas’s mental health is so bad. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman being insecure, logan being insecure

Pairings: logince can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3143

Logan feels stressed about Thomas's mental health and goes to Roman for help discussing a possible upcoming video, only for Roman to accurately guess that Logan's feeling insecure about his own role in keeping Thomas happy and healthy. Little does Logan know: there's more going on than meets the eye and it isn't until later that he realizes Roman's far more fragile than anyone could've guessed. After that, well, there's really only one course of action.

If Logan had not been paying very, very close attention, there is every possibility that he could have missed it.

He almost did; despite being entirely focused on his goal, he has to admit that it wasn't something he saw as necessarily related, and as such, dismissed initially as not relevant to solving the problem of why Thomas's mental health had been in a steady decline since the wedding. However, upon further reflection, he can conclude that not only was the sudden tightening of Roman's expression related, it was most likely the strongest indicator he's seen since he began.

"Sorry, Specs, I think my hearing cut out of a second there." Roman scratches the back of his head almost sheepishly. "Can you—can you say that one more time?"

"I believe it would be helpful for Thomas for us to do another 'low-key' video, as it were, and for you and I to work together."

"Yes, I heard that part."

"As we want to focus on recapturing some of Thomas's whimsy and zest for life—" here Roman's expression quirks towards amusement— "it would be apt for you to try and recreate some of the dreams Thomas has held onto in the past."

"Right, but not like—"

"Including transforming into those he aspired to be or the roles he aspired to fill," Logan finishes, frowning when there's that momentary tightness in Roman's smile again, "do you concur?"

"I—so I'm all for helping Thomas fall in love with his dreams again, you know, but, um…" He twists his fingers together. "I'm not sure that this is…the best way to do it?"

"You are the embodiment of Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Who else would be better equipped to help me?"

Roman blinks as if he hadn't been expecting the comment. Which is in and of itself a little odd; Roman typically never passes up the opportunity to remind them of his standing in Thomas's psyche, nor to claim credit for half of the things Thomas does even when it's far more of a group effort. "Right, but I don't see how me turning into various things would be helpful."

"Thomas is a very visual learner. It's been proven in the past via various theater productions and other activities that he thrives in environments where he can immerse himself in what it is he's doing. By having you, his Creativity, directly mimic the dreams he wishes or wished to obtain, we draw a more substantial connection between the Thomas that he is now and the Thomas he aspires to be."

Roman's mouth works. Logan frowns.

"If you have something you want to say, Roman, by all means, speak your mind. This brainstorm won't be nearly as successful if only one of us is contributing."

"Where is this coming from, Logan?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"This." Roman gestures back and forth between them. "This sudden need to 'fix' Thomas. You've been pretty clear with the rest of us that you don't think staying 'in his head' would be helpful, not when you're working so hard on your lists that you want him to do."

"Well, it's been pretty clear those aren't working, so—"

"But they have been. You know they have been—we all celebrated when Thomas finally managed to clean his kitchen and you were right, he did feel better afterwards. Your methods were working, are working."

Logan swallows. He did feel very accomplished after the last bowl had been placed in the cupboard, and no one had been happier than he when Thomas not only made himself dinner but cleaned up afterwards, but this was different. "Thomas deserves the drive to go after what he wants as well as doing the maintenance required to sustain his current lifestyle."

Roman nods. "And what sorts of things are those?"

"Roman, I don't understand—"

"Please," he interrupts, holding up his hands, "humor me?"

"You're the one who's Hopes and Dreams," he protests feebly, "you're Creativity. I'm not going to be good at coming up with them."

"Just try. You're better at it than you think."

"O-oh." He blinks. "Thank you, Roman."

"Of course."

"Uh—well, I think Thomas has a passion for filmmaking that he hasn't fully realized in shooting the YouTube videos due to the constraints of the channel."

"Okay."

"He's been enjoying doing the modeling shoots for Instagram as well. And he has a few shows that he wants to catch up on—not a dream, I know, but something he wants to do."

"That's good, Logan. What else?"

"Does he still have the dream of being an actor? On a more professional level?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Well, there you are, then."

Roman nods. "And if we go off of your transformation idea, what—what exactly would I be transforming into?"

He furrows his brow. "Well, you would be—if you were doing—I suppose you—ah. I see your point."

"It's not that there's something Thomas isn't that we need to make him into," Roman says quietly, "we can just remind him of the things that are already inside him that he can chase and pursue."

"…that is a very valid conclusion to have reached."

"He doesn't have to work all the time—I think both you and I know the dangers of letting yourself believe you can," he says with a gentle nudge to Logan's shoulder, "he can give himself time to rest and work on things that he wants to, not things that he has to."

"And I suppose making another video would be counterproductive to this aim, as it requires a level of work that would not be outweighed by the reassurance it might provide."

"I don't know if I would've said it nearly as well as you, but yeah, pretty much."

Logan sighs, closing his notebook with an almost despondent flap. "Then I suppose I have nothing else to work on."

"Good."

He frowns at Roman. "'Good?'"

"Well, now that means you can do the things that you want to do."

"M-me? What on earth are you talking about?"

"Did we not just go over how important it is to not be consumed by work all the time?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Did we not just talk about how it's necessary to rest and do the things you want to do from time to time?"

"I don't—"

"Did you not just say that you have nothing else to work on right now?"

"I know what you're doing," he says, meaning for it to come out accusatory and missing dreadfully, "it's not going to work."

"Me convincing you to take time for yourself and enjoy spending your time how you want to spend it isn't going to work?" Roman grins, leaning forward onto his elbows, propping his chin on his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Roman," he warns.

"What? It's not like I was the only one who came to this conclusion about Thomas a second ago, you were instrumental in figuring it out, Specs."

"Roman."

"And we all know that you're way smarter than I am, so if you're going to take your own advice—which you should, then—"

"Alright!" Roman laughs as Logan buries his face in his hands, trying not to smile too obviously at the praise or blush from how many compliments Roman's just given him, "you've made your point, you can stop now."

"I think you mean I've just reiterated your point, but that's alright." A warm hand pats his shoulder. "You're doing great, Logan. You don't have to stress out about this right now. Thomas has earned a break and so have you, okay?"

"…I suppose there are a few things I've been waiting to do that could occupy my time."

"There you go!" Roman claps his hands and gets up, affectionately ruffling Logan's hair and dodging his attempts to swat him. "Let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear about whatever you're working on."

Logan aims another swat at his shoulder and misses, watching Roman sink out. He shakes his head, unable to keep the growing smile off his face as he thinks about his own projects. Yes, there are several things he could do, he could work on refining the data for the experiment, he could read that study he's been eyeing for a few days, he could look over the manuscript he's drafting…

It isn't until he gets back to his room with a different notebook open on his desk that he pauses.

Why had Roman been upset at the suggestion of transformation?

They had agreed upon resting and doing what they wanted, letting Thomas do what he wanted. They had agreed that resting was good, pursuing one's own passions was good. What about transformations had rankled Roman so? He hadn't directly addressed it—something virtually unheard of for Roman. Perhaps it had been something to do with the act of transforming itself? But no, Roman had always been among the first to thrill at being someone else, or pretending to be someone else. What had caused such a dramatic shift?

What sorts of transformations had they done recently? There had been the whole thing with Remus—Logan suppresses a shudder as he remembers Remus's song and everything that happened in it—but Roman had been unconscious for most of it. Aside from that, it had been…

Well, Janus had been transforming into them more often than not, but that was him, mostly, not Roman. And Patton had become the giant frog, but that hadn't really affected Roman that much either. No, the last time Roman had been the one transforming, it had been…for…

Logan stands up, eyes still fixed on a point in the distance as his mind races.

Roman hadn't transformed for himself. It had always been at the whim of someone else. Roman was Hopes and Dreams—Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Roman did things for Thomas. He was Thomas's wants. Despite how often they all called him selfish, he…he didn't really fight for the things that he wanted.

Could he name a single thing that Roman wanted that wasn't something for Thomas?

I think you and I both know the dangers of believing you can work all the time.

There's nothing that Thomas isn't that we need to make him into.

"Oh, Roman," he whispers into the quiet room, "when did you get so good at hiding?"

He doesn't want to know the answer, but his mind is already coming up with a helpful list of every time he can remember where Roman let himself get pushed to the side, overruled, scolded, overlooked, for the sake of someone else. He thinks about the times where Roman had been obviously uncomfortable with what they wanted him to do, and then did it anyway. He thinks about how long it's been since he's actually heard Roman say what he wanted, not what Thomas wanted, not what Patton or Janus or even he wanted.

How long has it been since someone wanted Roman for Roman?

He looks back down at his desk and pulls out a different notebook. He's underestimated Roman. He won't go into this upcoming conversation unprepared.

***

He knocks on Roman's door as softly as he can, waiting for the quiet come in to push it open. Roman looks up from his—

Oh.

Oh, no.

"Oh, Roman," he murmurs before he can stop himself, crouching next to Roman's slumped figure and carding a hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry."

"N-no, I'm sorry, 'm sorry, I can—" he scrubs a hand harshly across his face— "it's fine. What, um, what do you—"

Another sob interrupts him before he can finish asking if Logan needs anything, which only makes his chest ache all the more. He eases himself down next to Roman's buckled legs and wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders, pulling him close enough to wipe a thumb across his cheek.

"Shh," he says when Roman tries to speak again, "don't stress yourself. I'm not here for anything other than this, little one."

The pet name rolls off his tongue before he can stop it, but at the slightly wounded noise that leaves Roman's lips, he resolves to use them as often as he can. He scratches his nails lightly against his scalp, shushing him again when he tries to stifle another sob.

"I'm here because I realized I'd hurt you earlier," he continues, still speaking gently, "and I did not attempt to comfort you in any way. No, no—don't pull away from me, dear. Shh, don't fret, don't fret, I'm not upset—look at me, Roman, do I look upset?"

Roman's eyes, still filled with tears, roam frantically over his face. Logan keeps his expression as soft and open as he can, letting the concern write itself plainly over the furrow in his brow. After another moment, Roman sniffles and he's already reaching for the tissue box he can see perched haphazardly on the end of the desk. He takes it with a grateful mumble and blows his nose with a honk.

"You were right. You don't need to change to be worth something, or to be fixed. You don't need to become something you're not—oh, darling, hush, now," he says when Roman's eyes grow wide with distress, "I'm not angry, I'm not—oh, you poor thing."

For Roman had begun to sob in earnest, trying in equal parts to pull away from Logan's embrace and push himself near into his chest. Logan slides an arm under his legs and pulls them into his lap, tucking Roman's face into the crook of his neck and kissing the crown of his head. There's a moment where Roman tenses and he fears he might pull away, but then he all but collapses into him and buries his nose in Logan's shirt.

"There you go, little one, shh, it's alright. You can cry, crying is good. You're alright, you're safe, I'm right here." He runs his hand up and down Roman's back. "Shh, shh, that's it…that's it, my dear."

"Sorry—'m so sorry—"

"Shh-shh-shh, no apologies from you, not about this. You're overwhelmed and overworked, it's perfectly alright for you to be emotional right now. You can let it out, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'm here to help."

"Help?"

"Mm. You took great pains to comfort me earlier, even when I did not ask, and you," and here he gives Roman a little shake, "have not let anyone comfort you in quite a long time. So yes, I am here to comfort you, to help, and if that means letting you cry in my lap for as long as you need, then that is what I shall do."

"It's so hard," comes the sniffling whisper from under his chin, "I keep—I keep trying to be what they want but they don't know what they want and then it's my fault and I can't—they keep changing and wanting me to change and I can't—"

"Shh, shh…hush, my dear, it's alright. That's right, just let me hold you…"

They spend a great deal of time like that, curled up on the floor. Logan keeps carding his hand through Roman's hair, soothing away the more violent of sobs with gentle touches up and down his back or patting his chest. How long has Roman been holding this in? How long has it been since their prince has let himself fall apart without remorse? And how long has it been since they took pains enough to notice?

He pulls himself from his own thoughts when Roman's head turns, bumping slightly against his chin. He tilts his head to press a kiss to his temple, leaning back just enough to see the blotchy face come into view. Taking another tissue, he carefully dabs up the last of the tears he can see, holding it so Roman can blow his nose again.

"…thanks, Logan."

"Of course, my dear." He raises an eyebrow at the little shudder that goes through him. "No?"

"N-no, yes. Yes. Very much yes. Sorry."

"None of that now, my dear. Do you feel any better?"

"A little bit."

"That's excellent. Shall we sit here for a little longer, or do you want to move somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"C-can we just stay here for a little longer?"

"Of course we can." He runs his thumb over Roman's cheek again. "I am truly sorry it took me so long to figure out what was going on, little one. But I'm here now."

Roman averts his gaze and once again Logan is struck by how different Roman is right now; no longer does he see their fiery prince who so eloquently made him take his own advice mere hours ago, instead he sees a shell of a Side who shies away from a gentle touch like a dog too scared to eat. The comparison alone is enough to coax him to lean forward and kiss his cheek, cuddling him against his chest.

"I'm here now," he repeats, "let me look after you."

"You will?"

"Yes, Roman, I will. I'm right here—" he pulls him a little closer— "I've got you, little one, you're alright."

"I don't know what to do."

"Right now?"

"…anymore."

Logan's heart clenches in his chest and he forces the ache away, running his thumb over his cheek once more. "Well, what do you want to do right now?"

"I want to stay here."

"Then we shall stay here. And when you're ready to figure out what you want to do next," he says, adjusting them until they're both comfortable as can be, "I will be here to help."

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #logan sanders

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havenesc · 14 days ago

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fic writer ask game

i was tagged by @spiritsglade THANK YOU DEAREST DARLING <3

1) How many works on Ao3?

7 :')

2) Total Ao3 wordcount?

209,766 (one work is 129,453 words and counting....uhghghg)

3) Top 5 fics by kudos

nothing grows to burn

lay down, you're slow

i'll grab my light (and go with you) <- crazy because that feels like a really young fic somehow LOL

how do you do (cause i'm feeling so cool)

catch my breath, hold it for me

4) What fandoms do you write for?

jujutsu kaisen -- specifically, the (once) rarepair inumaki/okkotsu or inuokko.

d(epression)c comics <3

5) Do you respond to comments?

i try to! i let them marinate for a bit just because i usually get very scared immediately after i post things and hide for a little while LOL but i love replying and seeing people's thoughts.

6) Angstiest ending?

oh by far, or redecorate. it's a jjk fic, not DC, but it deals with the hubris of a man who has never met a challenge he could not beat and it costs his student everything he is and has.

7) Fic with the happiest ending?

i'll grab my light (and go with you) is my happiest (finished) ending! happy is probably a very simplistic word but i don't know. i like thinking about the door to a relationship opening up between dick and jason :)

8) Do you get hate?

i don't get hate but i do get people being a bit demanding about asking for updates on older works. which is almost arguably worse, even if well intentioned i'm sure :')

9) Do you write smut?

i have written smut! i have two smut fics in my wips right now and one published lol. smut is extremely hard to balance but great for developing how you write scenes that are action-focused in general. do i think the nsfw i've posted is good? i dunno. but it's fun.

10) Do you write crossovers?

technically i guess writing the crime matriarch and the dog she didn't want au is a crossover....... but generally no. i just write really self indulgent (usually hockey-based) AUs.

11) Ever had a fic stolen?

to my knowledge no! my art, yes, but my fics are just that specific brand of niche that i think i get saved lol

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! nothing grows to burn is currently being translated into russian here.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic?

sometimes it genuinely feels like i cowrite wips because i'm always talking through writing choices with friends -- and i used to RP a lot which felt like cowriting. HOWEVER. i have not actually sat down and cowritten anything in the same doc with a friend before. could be fun :^)

14) All-time favourite ship?

this is going to have zero context if you are not syd but jackliv i fucking love you. you have been in my head for almost a full decade now and i think of you with love and fondness.

i don't really ship anything in dc outside of like. night watch LMAOOO. i will read a lot of different fics with ships attached to them and be like "i see the appeal" but not really. jump in. yknow

15) WIPS you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

okay so. i had a dc fic forever ago. strong bones on the plot. case fic. got real fanon-y back when i was a fresh baby into dc comics and in college. reread it. orphaned it, kept the plot, plan to rewrite it one day.

i do not think that will happen. but the actual underlying plot outside of the family drama bullshit was good.

16) Writing strengths?

action and unreliable narration........ i loooove writing action and i love the Internal Thoughts of a guy who is deeply paranoid or anxious so deadset on believing/gaslighting himself on some real untrue shit. i feel like those are my two big'uns.

17) Writing weaknesses?

hmmm. i tend to write longer works, which means when i'm trying to get to a point Very Fast instead of taking my time, i feel like the pacing goes out the window and gets all fucky. feels disingenuine. struggling real bad with that rn.

also dialogue IS very fun but i do not Feel Bonita about it being a strength HAHA

18) Thoughts on mixed language dialogue?

when it is done appropriately and well-researched, godsend. hot soup on a cold winter day. exquisite.

if it's some saison marguerite "how do u sey.... boohk?" kind of bit, it gets real old real fast.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

king arthur's horses. i don't even know if that counts as a fandom but he had horses and they talked and they were in love. i was 10.

for a LEGIT fandom that i wrote oneshots for, the last of us i think? ellie my bbg.

20) Favourite fic you've ever written?

honestly non-dc is for sure nothing grows to burn. i still want to finish it. it's wildly self indulgent, it's hockey, it's slow burn, it's about learning to move on from an all-consuming grief when you don't know who you are without it. it's about learning how to love yourself and your place in a world that is not traditionally "meant" for you.

for my dc-related fics, out of the ones published, i'll be gone in the dark is also a niche indulgence. i love writing this thing even though i have never been so scared in my life to post a chapter 2. i just love the idea of a jason todd that gets to decompress and not be consistently mired in a life that is deeply inherently triggering to him (even if he doesn't know he's being triggered) idk....... smth about it.....

also horses. and a jackass named goose. lol.

iiiiii believe everyone i would have tagged has already done this or has already been tagged, but feel free to steal this and tag me if you would like to do this :)

#ask game #this was fun ty!!!

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