#yes. guess what i'm trying to write? an action scene!

[lucy-ghoul]

i can't write action/fight scenes for shit 😭😭

[lovelaurs]

MOVIE NIGHT

featuring : mystreet laurance, garroth, katelyn, lucinda x gn reader synopsis : tonight is your weekly annual movie night with your partner! how will the night go in terms of activites? will the two of watch the film or end up too busy being smothered by the other's lips to watch? tags : mature, romance, pre-established relationships, fluff, cuddles, kissing, making out, sharing interests, suggestive (lucinda and katelyn specifically) word count : 3.3k | around 800 words per character! a/n : this started off with me wanting to write more laurance fics, but eventually became multiple drabbles for characters! since i don't see many x readers with the girls, i knew i had to broaden their tags as well, which led me to writing some fun drabbles! this one is for you, sapphics! mwah! - also, i'm afraid to admit the garroth one was far too self indulgent towards my obsession with the film. anyway, hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

LAURANCE

Laurance leaned against your door frame as you gathered your things.

You tended to go a bit extra whenever the two of you had your movie nights. It was not a secret that you like to be snug.

You grabbed your favorite blanket along with your pillow, before grabbing an extra charger, which in turn meant grabbing your phone.

Laurance held back a snicker as he looked at you hold the pile of items in your hands. With the wire tangled up within the blanket, to your phone being placed upon the pillow on top, it truly looked like a scene from a cartoon.

You could barely see in front of you as the pillow covered your vision.

“You uh… need some help there?” He chuckled.

You sighed in defeat, giving a small “yes” before he lifted your pillow and phone from the pile.

As the two of you carefully made your way down the stairs, you eventually flopped onto the couch with a hum, allowing you to cozy up with the blanket.

Laurance sat by your head, causing you to lift yourself up and place your head on his lap.

“Do you even need a pillow when you have me?” He teased.

“Eh, you’re a close second, I’ll give you that.” You snarked back.

Laurance gasped, acting offended by the comment. “How dare you!” What a drama queen. “I’ll have you know that I am much more comfortable to lay on than a pillow!”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his act. “If that was the case, you wouldn’t have a dissatisfied customer like me.”

He turned your nose up at you. “Well, I’ll have you know that-”

As this banter seemed to continue on more than you would like, you grabbed the pillow he had placed beside him before you tossed it in his face. 

“Can we just watch a movie already?”

He puffed his cheeks with a pout, looking down at you trying to make you feel guilty. But, after a minute of a stare down between the two of you, he just sighed and reached for the remote.

“Okay, okay, you win.” He looked at the Netflix catalog before turning back to you. “So, what do you want to watch?”

You took a second to think, watching as he scrolled on the ‘For You’ tab.

It wasn’t until something caught your eye that you leaned up quickly, banging your head into Laurance’s chin, yelling, “Knives Out!”

Laurance gripped his chin in pain as you held your head, the both of you feeling the ache from the action.

Before you could fully process what happened, Laurance, with his eyes squeezed shut in pain, kissed your aching head as if to soothe the pain.

You smiled with a wince, turning around and kissing Laurance on his chin, apologizing repeatedly for hurting him.

He couldn’t help himself from laughing at the whole scenario, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer so he could plant soft kisses against your forehead. 

“You’re so goofy, you know that?” He chuckled in between kisses.

You lightly pushed him away jokingly before laying on his lap again. He playfully frowned as you moved away from his affection.

He began wiping away fake tears. “I guess you don’t want to experience love, joy, and whimsy. Okay, I get it.” 

You lightly hit him with the pillow again, giggling. “I love you, Laurance, but please stop the act so we can watch a movie already.” 

“Fine.” He sighed as he grabbed the remote. “So… Knives Out, huh?” You nodded as you looked up at him.

As he searched up the movie and pressed play, Laurance couldn’t help but gasp at every major actor/actress that appeared on screen.

“Oh my Irene- Daniel Craig? Ana De Armas? The kid from IT? How many famous people did they get in this film?!”

You tugged on his sleeve as he kept guffawing at every appearance. “Laurance, please. It’s a netflix film, of course there’s going to be actors you know in it.” “I know, I know. I can’t help but just get surprised when- wait, they hired Jamie Lee Curtis for this?!” He proceeded to boo loudly at the screen as she appeared.

Annoyed by the constant comments from your boyfriend, you leaned up off his lap and kissed him, shutting the brunette up immediately. He didn’t even argue at the action and simply melted into the kiss, pulling you closer. 

He cupped his hand behind your head, protecting your head as you began to fall against the back of the couch, Laurance now hovering over you.

You light pushed against his chest, making him pull back and look at you with eyes glazed over with love.

You breathed heavily, trying to take in the air you were missing mere seconds ago.“Do you want to watch the movie or not, Laurance?” 

He smirked as he tilted your chin up. “Honestly? I’d rather watch you all evening.”

And with that, he dived back down and continued to kiss you.

The two of you won’t be finding out who the culprit was in Knives Out any time soon.

GARROTH

You knew what to expect at this point.

As Garroth hounded you into another room as he set up the surprise movie, you wondered what film it would be this time.

First clue you had was that it was definitely an animated film, seeing as Garroth often looked to escape reality within hand-crafted movies.

But that was simply it, no other hints besides being animated. Which, thinking about just how many cartoon films there were, really didn’t narrow it down for you.

You had nothing against animated movies, so really this was just a fun little surprise watch that you two would have every other week (when he was in charge of the movie).

Garroth had been building up to this movie every week since you started this weekly routine. He had put it off initially to get you excited for it as the weeks passed by, and finally, this was the day. 

You heard him scramble about the living room, whispering to himself as he set the movie up. You heard the click of buttons, the creaking of the floorboards, and the fluffing of some pillows before finally being let into the room.

This man had set up the area with all sorts of snacks and blankets, and most notably; a heap of pillows. Your eyebrows raised as you looked at the setup with a mix of confusion, but most importantly; excitement.

Garroth always loved to tell you all about his favorite movies or series, going into in-depth conversations about the background history behind it all and more.

This is something you loved about the blonde.

He loved to show you his interests, unafraid of expressing his love for it in every way, and you simply adored it. Watching him get excited and giddy over his favorite things was just absolutely adorable to see. 

Of course, he would reciprocate the action and strongly listen whenever you would speak about your favorite things as well. His eyebrows furrowed as he kicked his legs back and forth, listening to you share your interest with a passion.

That’s the thing with your relationship; with both of you so interested in what the other has to say, it made for the perfect connection between you two. Sharing your interests was simply a love language the two of you had created during your time together.

As you plopped yourself on the couch, Garroth rushed over, sliding next to you on the sofa. He tossed your favorite blanket over both of you before passing you the bowl full of popcorn.

You smiled as you looked from the bowl to your boyfriend. “Someone seems prepared.”

He turned to you grinning from ear to ear. “So? Are you excited?!”

You nodded, smiling at just how adorable he looked. With his blonde curls flopping up and down as he bobbed with excitement. You could barely respond as you looked into his shining cerulean eyes.

He was everything.

He draped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer, before reaching to press play on the remote.

The way his eyes shined from the light of the screen was simply awe inspiring.

As the film opened up, a strange sense of deja vu filled your mind. Hadn’t you seen these opening credits before?

You turned to look at Garroth, raising your eyebrows in question, but he only responded with a wide grin. He had something up his sleeve, it seemed.

As you pressed play, it was only a matter of time before your eyes were met with the sight of the sun.

With a big headed blue alien falling from the sky.

You turned to look at Garroth with a smirk only to find him leaning on his palm looking at you expectantly.

“Well?”

“Garroth, we’re like two minutes into the movie.” You giggled. “You can’t exactly get my reaction just yet.”

He pulled you in by your waist, hiding his face in your neck. “Oh come on! I need to know!”

You giggled as you felt the scruff of his beard graze your neck.

“G-Garroth! I can’t focus on the movie like this!” He started to plant little kisses on your neck, keeping you distracted from watching the awesome, amazing, fantastic movie that is ‘Megamind’; the 2010 animated Dreamworks film.

He pulled you onto his lap, and proceeded to tickle you on both sides of your abdomen.

“I know I planned on having you watch one of my favorite movies… but Irene, is your smile infectious!” He chuckled. “I just can’t get enough of it!”

After countless minutes of pushing and pulling, you eventually were able to push his hands away, convincing him to let you watch the movie as you sat on his lap.

By the end of the film, he had already begun nodding off with a huge grin plastered on his face.

The two of you ended up falling asleep on the couch as the credits rolled, cuddled up on the couch, covered by your favorite blanket.

As Garroth began to stir, he awoke to you in his arms. He smiled as he let his head rest on your head, pulling you closer to him. He couldn’t help but enjoy the warmth you radiated.

The both of you ended up sleeping through the rest of the night huddled together.

KATELYN

As you finally finish setting up the snacks and drinks for your annual movie night, your girlfriend, Katelyn, seems to be struggling to find a movie from the endless catalog.

She groaned as she laid her head against the arm of the coach, aimlessly scrolling through the ‘Featured Movies’ tab on Hulu. 

“Have you found a movie yet?” You called from the kitchen, bringing over the trays with the assortment of goodies stacked upon them.

As you placed them on the ottoman in front of you, Katelyn swiftly picked up a handful of popcorn and stuffed it in her mouth.

“No, not yet.” She responded, the sentence muffled as she chewed the popcorn. She swallowed before pressing the arrows on the remote again and again, seemingly looking for anything of interest. “Ugh, there’s nothing interesting to watch on here! Either it’s too sappy, too long, or just straight to streaming movies!”

You flopped onto the couch next to her, offering your hand out to take the remote from her and look for yourself, in which she obliged.

Within minutes, you were stuck in the same endless mountains of titles that she was in, movie after movie not catching your eye in any way, shape, or form.

You eventually went to lay your head on her thighs, continuing to scroll, occasionally reading titles aloud as you went along.

“Vacation Friends?” “Too commercial,” Katelyn replied. “I need something different.” You scrolled once more, landing on another movie.

She started to play with your hair as you let your cheek squish against her thigh. “How about The Valet?” You asked, looking up at her.

“Too long! Plus it’s a comedy romance from goddamn Hulu, it has no chance.”

After scrolling for about five more minutes, you hovered upon another movie.

“How about this one-” “Nope!”

You leaned up, raising your head from her lap and pouting. “If you keep this up, we’ll never find a movie to watch tonight!”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault Hulu’s movie selection is utter garbage!”

The two of you only had Hulu for its shows; Brooklyn-Nine-Nine, Futurama, etc, so really it was a rare occasion whenever the two of you would find something on here that you’d both enjoy. Of course, you don’t have any other streaming services, so your options are limited.

That’s when it hit you.

“How about we use a pirate site?”

And with that, Katelyn pulled you in, peppering kisses along your cheek. “You know me so well, Sweetheart.” In which she tilted you backwards, allowing you to rest fully across her lap, giving her ample space to continue playing with your hair. 

Within a few minutes, you screenshared your iPhone to the TV, allowing you to browse the site with easy viewing.

As you scrolled through the ‘New Arrivals’ page on the site, it wasn’t long before the two of you spotted the same movie, looking at each other with a nod.

That was when the two of you began to watch ‘Bottoms’.

Of course, a satirical comedy based around girls who kiss each other would be a top choice for the evening. Straight romances were far too overrated.

The two of you tended to watch the movies you chose uninterrupted, but on rare occasions where the two of you crave affection, you’d end up cuddling so much that you’d miss the second half of the film.

This seemed to be one of those nights, as during the scene where they blew up the football player’s car, Katelyn hoisted you up to sit on her lap.

Their kiss getting interrupted by the explosion seemed to annoy her, to which she found a better solution: you.

She squeezed your hips as she began to plant soft kisses along your neck, causing you to giggle.

“K-Katelyn! Pfft- what are you doing?”

She smirked, letting her hot breath hover over your neck. “Doing what I’ve been waiting for all night.” 

She let herself wander up your neck, and across your cheek, before finally resting on your very own lips. She pulled you closer as she passionately kissed you, biting at your lip and seeking entrance almost immediately.

You pulled back to take a breath, your cheeks tinted. “Someone’s getting impatient I assume?” You teased.

Katelyn then tightened the grip on your hips, causing you to squeak. 

She giggled, “That’s one hell of an assumption, I’ll tell ya’.” Before pulling you in for yet another kiss. 

Out of nowhere she pulled your legs apart, allowing you to straddle her on the couch. 

As Katelyn kept fighting for dominance, which frankly wasn’t that hard since you weren’t trying, you let your own hands wander around her neck, looping behind her to pull her closer.

“What was that about me being impatient?” She chuckled, before heading back in to bruise your lips for the rest of the evening.

That was when her leg moved between yours, causing you to practically yelp.

“How about we take this upstairs, alright?”

All it took was a single nod before she hoisted you into her arms and began towards the stairs.

This was going to be a long night.

LUCINDA

It was no surprise to you that your girlfriend would pick a horror movie.

She pretended at first that she didn’t know what to watch, asking for any ideas from you while knowing you wouldn’t have any.

That’s when she quickly clicked onto on demand, rented a movie, and pressed play within a matter of minutes.

“Hey, babe, I rented out a movie for us!” She smiled as she shook your leg with her hand to get your attention.

You had been pretending to scroll through your phone as she looked around, when in reality your eyes were looking just above the top of your phone to watch her make a b-line towards the film she had so clearly planned to watch from the start.

The fact that she rented it before asking you in the first place was just another sign of her devious plan.

You could tell from the sinister smile that she had ulterior motives.

This witch simply wanted to scare you.

Even after being with her for months now, you still couldn’t stomach most horrors.

Lucinda knew this.

So that brought up the question; why a horror movie?

As the movie began to play, you scooched closer to her, allowing your head to fall on her shoulder.

You tilted your head just enough to which you could look at your red-headed lover, finding her menacing smile replaced with a smirk.

“So… what are we watching?”

“You’ll see.” Was all she said.

You’ll see? Oh, you were in for a ride.

As the movie began to play, you quickly took notice of what seemed to be a panicked security guard along with a screen monitor, looking through a bunch of cameras.

No goddamn way.

“Lucinda… are we watching Five Nights At Freddy’s?”

She looked at you with a fake look of confusion. “What are you talking about?” You leaned off of her, causing her to frown. As you kneeled on the couch you gestured to the TV.

“The movie we’re watching. You rented Five Nights At Freddy's, didn’t you?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Babe, you’re crazy. Why would I put on that?” 

“Well, seeing as we watched The Hunger Games last week… I’d assume to see Josh Hutcherson.”

With that, she pushed you over, pinning you to the couch. With her hands on both sides of your head, she straddled your lap, looming above you.

“You know, I’m a bit offended you thought I picked this movie simply to see an actor that starred within it.” She leaned down, breathing deeply by your ear. “Do you truly think I have such low standards for picking films, hm?” You stuttered while trying to respond, feeling her lips press against your skin, before you felt a pressure on your neck. She started to suck on the soft flesh, littering your neck with bruises of all shapes and colors.

That was when a loud scream came from the TV causing you to sit up in shock.

That was short lived though, as a frustrated Lucinda pushed you back down on the couch. 

She slowly moved her pointer finger back and forth. “Ah, ah, ah… where do you think you’re going?” Your breath hitched simply from the burning look in her red eyes.

“I… I was going to turn down the volume-” She brought her finger to your lips, shushing you. “And who said you could do that, Darling?”

A lump was caught in your throat as you swallowed. 

As she began to lean down, a stray strand of hair fell in front of her face. You couldn’t help yourself and the next thing you knew, you were tucking it behind her ear.

“Well, well, aren’t you a cutie.” Her voice was low as she leaned down again. This time she started to bite and nip at your neck as if it were a feast laid before her.

She hummed as she bit down, sending chills down your spine. All you could do was whimper her name as she attacked your neck continuously.

“Do you want to know the real reason I put on such a movie?” You nodded as she tilted her head, beginning to bite your bottom lip.

“I just wanted to slowly break you down as the jumpscares played.” She smirked. “Is it so wrong to want to see you jump and shake not just at the noises, but by my touch as well?”

So that’s why. 

“Now, be a good little Darling and stay still for me, okay?”

@lovelaurs, 2024. do not repost this work in any way!

[majycka]

Megumi stans....we won, I guess? maybe just for now..

JJK 266 THOUGHTS AND SPOILERS AHEAD!

Aight megumi enjoyers, at least one of us has been in the trenches when Megumi was getting SHOVELED PILES OF SHIT ON for losing his will to live when he's a traumatized 15 years old boy having a valid reaction to a death of a loved one (aka who may I repeat, HEAVILY REITERATED in the manga is someone whose his entire desire to live hinges on). As of from the currents chap, I'm considering Yuuji's acknowledgement/understanding to Megumi's actions a W for us or idk maybe that's just me because he gives Megumi the empathy and understanding he needs in his crazy ass suicidal life, and it raises the question of whether this is gonna fully push Megumi for his comeback moment?

More yapping under the cut

In order to explain why the magnitude of this chapter is such an important development for Megumi, his trauma needs to be discuss first and, there's four people we need to go through to reflect his stages of life. Toji, Tsumiki, Gojo, aaaannd Yuuji! :D

TOJI, the dad who left for milk.

Although we barely see any interaction with these two (only one fight scene from them), Toji no doubt kickstarted the trauma of Megumi the moment he decided to left for milk and never return again. He's traumatized by the Zenin's which explains why he acted out in that way and abandoned his child. All he's life he's treated as the outsider for being the odd one out. He lashed out from it as he got stronger, calmed down when meet Meg's mom who then died, and went back to lashing out again, forgetting that he has a tiny son waiting for him at home. Big L for Toji.

I know that Gege reiterated in his interview that he wants to craft a story where there's no right and wrong people, but I'm gonna proceed to be harsher towards Toji here because he's the ADULT situation. Yes, a traumatized adult who's fucked up and not perfect, but I still hold him accountable in perpetuating Megumi's trauma because Toji proceeded to repeat the cycle of trauma that moment he decided to leave, thinking that turning over Megumi to the Zenin is the best option cuz he got The Ten Shadows Technique. From Toji's perspective, it seemed the better option because he was raised knowing his no cursed energy made him an outcast in his family. It's drilled to him that cursed technique was everything for Zenins, so of course, he thought that his son with a valued technique will make the Zenins, olympic gold medal holder of abuse, treat him better. But, heck no! Just look what happened to that Naoya, who despite being raised differently as Toji or Maki and Mai, ended up as a piece of shit. In the end though, I gotta give him the bareeeessst minimum because he kinda pushed Gojo to interfere with Megumi being sold off to the Zenins(which has another set of problems discussed for the later part of discussion).

I try to stay true in including Gege's intention in writing here, and also other nuanced perspective cuz that's the type of series JJK is that yes, Toji DID care for his son in the barest minimum and in his most emotionally stunted way.

However, the damage is done, and Megumi is left with no prime adult caretaker to protect/guide him with only an older sis to have any resemblance of it .

2. TSUMIKI, the manic pixie dream girl sister.

To define the term (as I've stolen from Google) , manic pixie dream girl (MPDG) means "a type of female character depicted as vivacious and appealingly quirky, whose main purpose within the narrative is to inspire a greater appreciation for life in a male protagonist." They are often associated as love interest in movies, BUT I AM NO WAY SHAPE IN FORM ENDORSING MEGUMI SEES HER THAT WAY. Instead, I am using MPDG as a loose term to describe Tsumiki because like most MPDG, we barely know ANYTHING about her actually and we only saw her through the eyes of Megumi which is being pretty and dead.

Not essentially dead and not essentially just pretty because Megumi described her to be the model of a kind person and someone that Megumi wishes to protect, aka his greater purpose of life, which is yah, great, but we are stuck with this perception of Tsumiki. We don't know her, and I think the closest thing we got an unbiased perception of her is when she chucked a cartoon of milk to Megumi (she will call out his BS). This connects back with Megumi's trauma because who else are you gonna hinge your will to live on when the prime adults in your life failed you? He sees her in a brighter light in order to survive. A way of coping mechanism even.

AND YET, despite all his talk appreciating her kind traits and killing people in the culling game to get back to her, you would be surprised that instead of apologizing to her that he was all emo about, he was a dick to her when they reunited. 💀💀

And in fact, the narrative punishes him for this flaw.

To the point that when Sukuna took over his body, he "killed: Tsumiki in his hands which didn't just left Megumi the guilt and shame of being a dick to his sister before she dies but also the impression that Megumi was the one who "killed her." This makes Megumi an active participant to his own tragedy, and it serves a big slap on his face that he's also at fault here.

3. GOJO, the traumatized bro who tried his best.

This is definitely the raging hot debate of the fandom which is their dynamic, and my take breaks this perception of the uwufied Gojo a lot of the fandom seems to like. Yes, I do see Gojo as another perpetrator to Megumi’s trauma, another adult that failed him but not in such of a black and white way thinking of Gojo’s the wholly bad guy here. Believe it or not, he’s still a part of the chain of generational trauma, being a "chain" as in he's a victim AND perpetrator of the system. I called him the traumatized bro who tried his best here because as much as Gojo knows how cruel the jujutsu system is for the kids, he still unintentionally passes over the core mindset of such cruel system to Megumi since Gojo still did grew up in this system normalized in his eyes.

"Jujutsu Sorcerer is an individual sport."

I say "unintentionally passes" because no, Gojo doesn't have the same intention as Zenins/majority of the system who drills "strength is everything" in the most fucked up way possible. Yes, he enjoys Megumi’s company and treats him nicely. Yes, he sticks his neck out for him. Yes, he wants them to be strong so they can change the system. But this isn't about Gojo. It's about Megumi who still undeniably suffered from the accumulation of the few adults in his life failing him which includes Gojo. Gojo offers protection to Megumi. KEYWORD: Offers. It’s in exchange for Megumi working under Gojo as a jujutsu sorcerer. Now, for smol Megumi here, who truly going through the horror show of abandonment from his dad, agrees to it because apparently, according to Gojo, it’s the only way to protect his sister.

"I'll take care of things! But you're gonna have to work extra hard. I'm countin' on ya."

Annnd thus the cycle repeats! Although it wasn’t as bad as Zenin’s abusive environment Toji was raised, Megumi is still pushed in the same cutthroat environment of the jjk world that Gojo believed he can survive just because Megs has a valued powerful technique if only he himself fullfills his potential, like Gojo’s Six Eyes. BUT Gojo, who delights in his power, forgets a crucial part that…..Megumi isn’t like him!

Check out what Megumi has to say. (aka bud doesn't want any of that sorcerers shit and just wants a domestic life)

So the thing is, was Megumi ever asked his input in choosing to be a jujutsu sorcerer? Well, yah….and all it circles back to just protecting his sister and people like her. There’s a set of problems that comes with this mindset though that Gojo was valid to point out and that is Megumi doesn’t think about himself enough. “It’s ok to be selfish!” Gojo said in the context of being a stronger sorcerer.

But at the same time, he also gave Megumi the idea to that if he doesn’t work as sorcerer, then he won’t be able to protect his sister when he was a mere 6-7y/o boy.

You know that circulating meme of Megumi pulling Mahogora for minor inconvenience? Well, guess what that tells his suicidal tendencies in protecting anyone but himself. Kid got no sense of self-preservation because his self esteemed has completely tanked itself due to his abandonment issues, and now that he’s expressing how it emotionally and physically paralyzes him, he has every valid reason to do so.

Why, yes, Gojo was 19/20 at the time he first met Megs, still a kid, doesn't know shit, and has unaddressed issues being treated as The Strongest Weapon(here’s a dedicated gojo-centric meta I wrote previously about Gojo and his issues cuz he's one complicated fool). I describe this whole situation as an unaware traumatized kid taking in another traumatized kid which is not a fun mix to have, and I understand that Gojo ain’t exactly prepared for that kind of job.

HOWEVER, I’m way harsher to point out Gojo’s failure as an adult in Megumi in the later part of the series because at this point, Gojo's a grown adult, he waxes poetry in being responsible for the next gen , and we get to see his priorities throughout the series especially with the Sukuna’s fight, like seriously he had one legitimate fun fighting someone on par with him.

Gojo DELIGHTS in power no doubt, he chooses kids with most potential, he gets excited finding those kids, and this is the type of the closest dependable adult Megumi has in his life.

Yes, financially supported but Gojo isn't around much when he's working and on demand sorcerer almost 24/7. That's why growing up sure do sucked ass for Megumi especially when no one’s really there to guide and to keep an eye on your development AS A PERSON AND NOT JUST A SORCERER which the latter part is what unfortunately Gojo’s more eager to do.

4. YUUJI, the guy who just wants Megumi to know he matters to him as a person.

Yuuji and Megumi were definitely the highlight of this chapter because in the bleak world of JJK where everyone seemed to be succumbing to the repeated fuck ups of the previous gen (like that Yuta-Gojo situation), this chapter actually offers that THERE IS HOPE that the new gen can do better like what Yuuji just did that the adults in Megumi's life are too emotionally stunted to do. Yuuji take the time to listen to Megumi's emotional thoughts, what he feels as a person, and not just listen, but to understand and empathize. It even took lots of attempts for Yuuji to make Megumi open up.

He responds to Megumi's vulnerability with care and love, and Yuuji understands the pain Megumi is going through from losing his sister. With someone in pain like that, Yuuji knows he can't just go around saying "just live" to someone who's practically suicidal.

The treat of this all is when this scene comes next. Yuuji also shows his vulnerability and expresses that Megumi matters to him!

"It's lonely without you..Fushiguro."

This scene clearly parallels Gojo and Megumi's first meeting, so I'm gonna try to throw my two cents here and explain why Gege choose this direction. Remember what I said about Yuuji giving us the hope of the new gen escaping from the shackles of generational trauma? Well, I think this parallel is a way in saying that what Megumi needed when he was so young was someone to see him and his pain who's just a kid abandoned and forced to fend for themselves because the prime adults decided to to dip out. This is Megumi we are talking about here who's unaddressed issues stays hidden beneath all the pressure of him being The Ten Shadows Technique. He's valued for his technique. That's why Gojo showed up to meet him in the first place. That's also what the jujutsu system looked after for their child soldiers. Yuuji tries to break this chain of trauma their mentor unknowingly repeats. He'll show up for Megumi again and again because he's his dear friend even if Megumi's being difficult to be pulled out of Sukuna. And the beautiful thing is Yuuji didn't had some grand inspiring speech or grand offer to convince Megumi, he wasn't even sure Megumi will be up for it. Yuuji simply want to say that he matters to him. That understands him. That he's important to him so much he'll be sad when he dies, and it mattered.

"This is...Fushiguro Megumi's...!!"

And now that Megumi is showing signs in taking his body back, it's now his turn to save himself. Yuuji did his part, and for someone whose future has been controlled by everyone but himself, this time Megumi gets to decide what comes next.

[wutheringmights]

I finished rereading The Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce a couple of days back. I already talked about the first book in a post that garnered more attention than it deserved. I guess we were all happily reminiscing about the menstruation scenes together, or Tortall fans are so starved for content they (we) will reblog anything.(Understandable. I too am starved for a thriving Tortall fandom.)

I'm too lazy to make separate posts about each book, so we're just going to do a mega post covering the second, third, and fourth book.

Unlike last time, I will be giving a little criticism to this series. I still love it endlessly, but there were a few things about the prose I thought was interesting that I want to talk about a bit.

So, without further ado~

In the Hand of the Goddess

I think this one is my favorite one, despite how rushed the plot it. It contains all of my favorite plot points, like awkward romances with George and Jon, attending knight lessons, and a little summer war. Fun stuff.

But it definitely feels rushed. I really wish someone told Pierce to make this a 12 book series, expanding on Alanna's years at the castle. It would have gone so far to better develop the romances and the friendships in these books.

I am fascinated by what Pierce chose to skim over. Characters would die or kiss for the first time off screen, with the prose resuming with Alanna reacting to it. It demonstrates an understanding of character work that I personally adore and try to emulate in my own writing-- the real bones of a story being in how characters respond to fantastic events as opposed to the fantastic events themselves.

Also, the whole veil spell Roger cast in objectively stupid, and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. You're telling me that Roger used magic to make Alanna lose interest in doing anything about the obviously evil things he was doing? That's fucking hilarious. You know an editor came back to Pierce and asked her to come up with a reason why Alanna wasn't just going to spring into action at the first sign of Roger trying to kill her, only for Pierce to come up with this. It's so silly. I love it.

Woman Who Rides Like A Man

Did this book age poorly? Yes, but not as badly as I remembered. That's not a stirring defense, and it's really not meant to be.

The Bahzir are a mess of Orientalism, and Pierce definitely deserves criticism for not only the way she wrote them but for the ways in which she frames their cultural practices as something that needs to be fixed. Having Alanna want to force them to change their culture to suit her beliefs is not a great look for both the character and the writer. And that's not even getting into the whole assimilation plotline.

But I did enjoy Pierce's attempts to expand on the definition of womanhood, especially as a part of Alanna learning to embrace femininity. There is this running thread in these last two books of Alanna learning about all the different ways to be a woman and choosing for herself what her gender means to her. It's not done particularly well, and anyone looking for a revolutionary examination of gender roles and identity is going to be sorely disappointed. But there's an attempt here that I can't help but appreciate.

This book is also where Pierce starts to slow the plot down, which lends it to having the most reasonable pacing out of the bunch. That being said, it's also the book where the lack of development for a bunch of the side characters start to hurt. I really wish Gary or Raoul joined Alanna in the desert. Raoul gets his moment in the sun with the Protector of the Small books, but Gary remains largely forgettable. In fact, I spent this entire read-through convinced this man dies at the end of the last book, if only because I can't remember where he appears in any of the other books.

Lioness Rampant

This book somehow has the improved pacing of the third book while still feeling rushed. The quest for the Dominion Jewel really should have been it's own book, if only to give Thayet and Buri more room for development. Thayet in particular really needs her moment to shine, especially when she continues to be an important character in the other series.

But do you know who did get a lot of screen time? Liam.

Remembered shit about this guy before going into this book. I could only vaguely recalled disliking him as a kid, but not as much as I venomously hated Jon. (Speaking of which-- I love the way this man is realistically shitty. Him getting dumped by Alanna is always my favorite scene.) But Liam? Fuck that guy. Holy shit. I give full applause to Pierce for portraying the important milestones every girl goes through growing up, which includes having a situationship that is so shitty that it becomes essential character development.

Roger's return feels very... cheesy? I think Alex should have stepped up to be the final villain on the story. Unlike Roger, Alex was Alanna's friend. They have history. The betrayal would have imbued that final fight with so many more emotions than it ultimately had. I also would have liked Alanna to have at least meaningfully talked to Alex sometime before the climax.

Honestly, it's impressive how reactive Alanna is as a character in the last half of the book. She doesn't seek out how to stop Roger's plan, or fix Thom, or anything. Other characters make plans and she just... waits for something to go wrong.

That being said, by virtue of Alanna's relationships with George, Liam, and Jon all happening sometime in this plot, this book becomes a good place to look to get the full berth of how Pierce handles romances. Which, I love her approach. The romances are never over the top or, for lack of a better word, too romantic. It's very down to earth, with characters dating, marrying, or breaking up for realistic reasons.

Jon and Alanna were friends who broke up because they had different life plans. Liam and Alanna broke up for having fundamentally different values. As much as I bitch about how shitty Jon and Liam are, they're not cartoonishly evil. They're just a little shitty the way most of your exes will be. Jon and Liam are men could find love with someone else. They just aren't suited for Alanna.

Meanwhile, the most romantic things George does are wait for her and be supportive. He doesn't fight or get territorial. He makes his feelings clear, then waits for Alanna's cues. Alanna definitely loves him, but she ends up with him in the end because their lifestyles and core beliefs meld together. There's no grand romantic gesture or whirlwind affairs. They are just a good pair.

I have read stories with far heavier focuses on romance, and none of those couples feel as perfect as Alanna and George. Those stories prioritize all the gooey moments over showing why the main couple should get together. For how little romantic interactions they have, you believe these two could have a successful marriage. Perfect stuff.

---

Over all, I really enjoyed rereading these books. For all my griping, I still love the story. I love Alanna. She's a character who is fundamental to my soul. No matter where I am in life, I will always want to open these books and find her again, to walk back into Tortall and join her on her quest to be a lady knight.

My copies of the series come with forewards from a previous edition. In one of them, Pierce wrote that this series started off as an adult fantasy story that was much darker and edgier. I need to know what that story looks like, what happened in it. Pierce can claim as she wants that she hardly remembers what it looks like, but I refuse to believe that. Release the unedited first draft, Pierce. I am begging you.

[oneatlatime]

Bitter Work

Life took me out at the knees for a couple of weeks but I'm back! I'm hoping this is a nice restful episode after the relentlessness of The Chase.

I have to say, Toph's nicknaming skills are on point. I never would have thought of Sugarqueen, but it fits perfectly.

This is me. Every morning.

Full nose plant from Appa.

And the beat up Sokka quota is fulfilled. Very funny Toph, but completely uncalled for. If someone had catapulted teenage me 50 feet into the air while I was trying to sleep, it would have been fully justifiable homicide.

Aang is always trying to run before he can walk. What was Iroh always saying to Zuko about basics? Aang needs that speech too.

I was really on the ball in my post about how airbenders aren't homicidal, actually. Rock is a stubborn element. Yay me!

Aang earthbends = Earth bends Aang.

Seriously, how did he mess up that badly?

Cozy.

Thank you Zuko for the incredibly obvious exposition that's somehow completely in character. Interesting to see that Iroh and his son had brown hair, but Zuko seems to have black hair. More hair variety in the Fire Nation than I thought.

Tangent time! I love the contrast in social intelligence (I guess that's the term?) in this scene. Zuko wakes Iroh up with an infodump, some bad tea, and then gets straight to discussing strategy. Iroh's first actions are to compliment the bad tea, then dispose of the refill in a way that won't hurt Zuko's feelings (probably not necessary, as Zuko seems to be the type that's oblivious to all things other than the task at hand when he's focused). Iroh, injured and awake for all of 15 seconds, jumps straight to actions that help look after his nephew. And Zuko is trying! That's why he made tea! But still, he doesn't even ask if his uncle's feeling ok. Zuko has such a massive gap in his education - he can probably reel off the specs of all Fire Nation battleships, but he doesn't know how to be a human person. Contrast that with Iroh, and especially Katara, who makes friends and connections with such aggressive forwardness that she's at times more steamroller than teenage girl. It's funny how privilege plays into this too - Zuko comes from probably the single most privileged (on paper) family in the world, yet it's the children of the impoverished water tribe who have the more well-rounded education/socialisation.

"She's crazy and she needs to go down" go a full belly laugh out of me.

"What if I came at the boulder from a different angle?" Jesus I was REALLY on point with my post about the airbenders. Credit where credit is due, this show has such good writing/worldbuilding that viewers have picked up what Toph is laying out in this episode already. Also a little bit of stealth character work in there - since Toph is putting into words what we've been thinking this whole time, she now reads as trustworthy. This show is so good. So thought out.

Maybe it's just VLC being weird, but methinks Katara is having some trouble with her eyeball.

Katara STOP BABYING HIM. This is why I don't like Aang having a crush on her.

Honestly it's refreshing to have Toph giving it to Aang straight, no softening the blows.

I really like this texture.

Sokka's club is a giant bottle opener. Or at least a multitool.

ROCK SUITS

wait

ELEMENTAL FASHION

oh this is going to be haybending all over again.

They are totally going to have to nerf this girl. She could defeat the Fire Lord right now.

Earth beats water tribe

Someome who knows more about tea than I do: Why are both pots necessary?

"requires peace of mind" well that's out. Sorry Zuko, we'll have to get you a taser instead.

"So we're drinking tea to calm down?" "not it's to get the nasty ass taste of the sludge you brewed out of my mouth. I mean yes." For what's looking like an extended training montage, this episode is far funnier than it needs to be.

I pretty much don't notice Zuko's scar anymore (it's just part of his character design) then every so often a certain frame of animation will come out of the blue and remind me that this kid's missing half his face. I don't know if it's intentional on the part of the animators, but his scar is prominent this episode.

So it sounds like bending lightning actually corresponds with how lightning in our world works. Neat.

In an absolutely Shocking turn of events (pun absolutely intended), Zuko fucks it up. Fucking shit up: the autobiography of a Fire Prince. Has a nice ring to it.

Toph I know you go hard, but maybe apply a sense of proportion to this?

It kind of looks like Aang's about to be run over by a giant scoop of caramel ice cream.

Toph is such an interesting mishmash of bluntness and emotional intelligence. I don't think I've seen a character like that before.

Zuko being self aware for once! Everything always does explode in his face. Except when he's being the Blue Spirit. Seems he's more capable then.

It's a tragedy that this boy wasn't around for the emo movement. He would have single-handedly sustained Hot Topic.

Zuko going "WHAT TURMOIL?!?!?" is like Katara going "I'M COMPLETELY CALM!!!!!" last episode. Also got a laugh out of me.

"I'm as proud as ever." OF WHAT?!?!? What could he possibly be proud of? He's a homeless fugitive with a stolen horse bird and a half-dead uncle that he can't even properly brew tea for. The self-delusion is strong.

Is pride the source of shame? Honest question, I don't know.

There's a surprising variety of trees in this part of the Earth Kingdom. Where Zuko and Iroh are there are fluffly hardwoods, probably deciduous; Toph's training ground is ringed by cartoon pines.

This whole bit is too cute for words.

"Now come back boomerang" This is a training episode, it's not supposed to be this funny!

Are there voice acting awards? Like voice acting oscars? Sokka's actor needs one. Or several.

I should have waited to answer the ask about airbenders and just copy pasted Iroh's speech here. Except for the water = change bit. That doesn't make sense.

What can I possibly say about Iroh's speech? It's the thesis for this show in a single paragraph.

Pretty.

Are characters' eyes a different shape this episode? Aang's eyes change colour all the time, but everyone's eyes seem more cat-like.

I do love me some constructive bullying.

Sokka is so refreshingly self-aware while still totally oblivious. He is meat and sarcasm, but he's so much more!

"Have you got any meat?" He said that in an Irish accent.

"You're gonna pull my fingers off and I don't think the rest of me is coming!" Do you ever come across a sentence that is so obviously an innuendo that your brain trips over itself trying to decipher it?

Sokka's hair must be so fluffy. It's got so much volume.

Why can't he go get Toph? I think being stuck in a hole outranks avoiding an awkward encounter.

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

"You must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly." Foreshadowing?

Today in 'things Zuko thinks it's acceptable, nay, expected, for parental figures to do' - attempted murder as a teaching method! What went on in that palace?

Is this the closest Sokka's come to dying?

He's earthbending the air! Doing air but earthlike. You know what I mean.

I thought she was levitating.

Toph is so smart. She does the airbender thing and comes at the problem from a different angle. Telling Aang to stand up for himself doesn't work? Fine. Let's bully him into standing up for himself. And it works!

This episode's MVP is Sokka's patience.

"You tried the positive reinforcement, didn't you?" uhhhhh sure!

Appa getting vengeance for Sokka. Nice.

Theatre kids.

I wish Zuko would just have the breakdown he's obviously hurtling towards so we can get started on the rebuilding arc. Every time I think he's a rock bottom, he keeps digging.

Luten is Katara. Let's not read too far into that one.

Final Thoughts

I defy any episode from this point on to fulfill the Beat Up Sokka Quota as thoroughly as this one did.

In a lesser show, the 'Aang learns earthbending episode' would have had Aang & Toph as the A-plot, and Sokka & Katara doing something completely unrelated as a b-plot, and probably no Zuko at all. Sokka does have his own thing going on this episode, but the fact that they managed to weave in both water tribe siblings so organically is so satisfying. Of course a team member struggling to learn a new skill would seek out his friends. Of course his friends are in the area, observing the lesson to varying degrees. It feels so much more real to have the characters who aren't 'useful' that episode still there, rather than conveniently absent.

Zuko was very Zuko this episode. He's correct that he needs more training for his inevitable next encounter with Zuko jr., but Iroh is also correct that Zuko is a bundle of issues held together by a different bundle of issues. Not to jinx it, but I thought I detected a hint of self-awareness from Zuko this episode, although it seems to have occurred despite his best efforts to suppress it.

Iroh's Zuko-wrangling skills were sharp this episode, despite being injured. And his wisdom was off the charts. Zuko was also not as annoying as I usually find him, and unlike in Zuko Alone where I found his quieter self to be out of character, it fit this episode. Maybe he's turned over a new, quieter, leaf? I loved "she's crazy and she needs to go down" both as a joke and as a statement. Shared blood doesn't trump someone's actions, and I'm glad to see a show meant for kids acknowledge that. Although, given that this show has no problem depicting objectively BAD parents and families, I can't say I'm surprised.

In a testament to Jack de Sena's skill, Sokka get a soliloquy this episode and pulls it off flawlessly. Kudos to the animation team for making Sokka's face fit the words so well. Double kudos for whoever had the balls to approve 'stick Sokka in a hole and put an apex predator on his head to force self-reflection' as a plotline.

There was a lot of exposition from a lot of different characters this episode, but it's mostly unnoticeable. It just makes sense that that's what they would be talking about at that point in time.

I think I said it above, but I'll say it again: the worldbuilding in this show is phenomenally well done. How do I know this? Because I was able to construct most of Iroh's monologue before watching this episode, just by paying attention. This show rewards focus and attentiveness. (Almost) nothing that Iroh said was not something the audience has already observed for themselves. Not heard, but observed. That 'show, don't tell' thing.

This episode was way funnier than it needed to be too. Not just the obvious stuff like *inhales*

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

but tiny one-liners buried mid-conversation and character interactions too. Momo turning into a reed didn't have to be there, but it was, and it was funny. It wasn't exactly restful, but it was a relief to have an episode that really didn't move around after The Chase.

What I like most about this episode was that it went farther than it had to. This was a training episode. It could have been just training. Anyone familiar with training episodes would expect just training, and be satisfied with just training. But Avatar said 'nope, we'll do better than that' and organically incorporated a heap of character stuff, worldbuilding from multiple perspectives, humour, multiple characters undergoing self-reflection, the next step in the domestication of Zuko, what I'm hoping wasn't a heap of foreshadowing, and pretty backgrounds as the cherry on top. They didn't have to go so hard, but Avatar always goes hard. I like that.

[thesummerstorms]

I can acknowledge that the text SAYS that Annabeth Chase worked out her problems with her dad, that her stepmom seemed "nice", and that her "resentment" is described as seemingly unimportant in Blood of Olympus. I can acknowledge the text SAYS that Annabeth's family problems are resolved.

However. That does not mean that I actually buy it. If RR wanted me to accept that outcome, he should have done the actual work of proving it.

Yes we have the scene with the plane and Mrs. Chase telling Percy that Annabeth has a home.

But those two scenes in TTC don't actually work as a source of a resolution to that plot thread because they don't address the root of the problem- Annabeth being hurt by Frederick's neglect and her step-mother 's blame/callousness.

Even if they ARE trying to do better now (which to honest, feels like a cop out to me, almost as if RR just decided he no longer wanted to write that thread and cut it off quickly) the problem lies in what already happened in the past and how badly Annabeth was hurt by it.

She could have died so, so easily, and even if you want to argue perfect intent for the Chase adults (which I don't) she was emotionally fucked up by what happened for years. This has already happened.

But there's not even a hint of an apology or actual reflection on what caused those events and how things need to be moving forward. It's just assumed that TTC automatically fixes everything.

And yes, I actively have a post going around about how an author has to pick and choose their narratives and what they want to focus on for what characters.

But I would argue that RR already chose to make that plot line an important part of the plot- given how it drives Annabeth's motivations and actionals on an emotional level for pretty much all of TTC- it's just that he handled it badly.

If it was going to be addressed, especially if it was going to be "fixed", then we needed more to convince us that Annabeth had reason to trust her parents again. And again, for me one plane scene that doesn't go into what Annabeth has already experienced doesn't work for me personally.

Especially when you look at things like how Annabeth was still living in boarding schools full time, her description of the night she ran away in HOH, her persistent fear of abandonment.

And before anyone brings it up, I do actually have some sympathy for Frederick Chase. I personally am deeply adverse to the idea of having children of my own, so putting myself in his shoes of having been given a whole infant I never wanted and didn't know was a possibility, freaks me out a little too!

BUT. That doesn't change the fact that he had a responsibility as an adult-

to either choose to raise Annabeth fully as his child and accept the responsibility that entailed

OR

to find someone who could take care of her the way she deserved if he was not emotionally or mentally able to fulfill those needs.

I'm not saying any of it would be easy, but he did in fact have a basic obligation to make sure Annabeth was receiving care from SOMEONE. That's basic decency as an adult with some form of power over a child even if he DIDN'T want to be her father.

But his refusal to actually commit to either path just did MORE damage in the long run.

And he's free to try and make amends, I guess. People can change.

But I just don't feel there's enough to show that he really has long term, much less to give ANNABETH reason to believe he has.

[tc-doherty]

Hey! In your practical writing tips - post you said novels require lots of telling. I've noticed this too when I read, amazing books that tell a lot vs. showing but all advice gears to show and that's what I've been learning to do. Since I can't find anyone that teaches when to tell vs. show and how much tell vs. show is right and why telling is good etc. I was wondering if you could elaborate on this? Why some books that tell a lot are very engaging and others can't keep my attention? I'm so interested to see your thoughts! Thank you.

Like I said in that post, teaching people how to write isn't really my jam so this is less a teaching guide and more just my assorted thoughts on the subject based on my own opinions and the habits that I follow.

I guess what it boils down to is this. You can't really say that either showing or telling is more important in a novel, but the things that you show are perhaps more relevant.

For example, if you describe the morning routine of your character in great detail every single morning, readers are going to get bored. The story will grind to a halt. Yes you're showing us that, which most people would say is a good thing based on "show don't tell", but the information isn't relevant. If you're setting up a fantasy or sci-fi story it might be relevant once or even twice to show us how things work, but not every single time.

Similarly, if your character gets news telling them that someone they love has perished, you don't want to simply say that it made them sad. You want to show us their reaction. What do they do? What do they say? What physical sensations do they have? Are they lightheaded, do they feel out of breath, does their throat hurt because they're trying not to cry? That information is all relevant to the character, the scene, and the reader. If you simply say they're sad, then your story feels too shallow.

Many people might consider dialogue a kind of telling, but really it's both. What the characters say, how they say it, and also what they don't say can show us a lot about who they are as a person, which is relevant information to the audience even if they're simply explaining something that would be considered exposition. But what do your characters actually need to say or hear? And what can you relay to us through something happening in the background, for instance?

And what about the genre? I like to write road trip novels, which means I spend a lot of time showing the minutiae of the journey. That's relevant because the story is the journey that's being taken. But sometimes your characters just have to get from one place to another, and you don't need to get bogged down in it. You can just say that they took a bus or boat or horse or whatever.

Balancing it in any given story is the writing equivalent of "this meeting could have been email". What do you actually have to get together in a conference room to discuss (show the readers in detail) versus what can be summarized in a few sentences in an email? What will make you bored out of your mind if you see too much of it, versus what will leave you lost and confused without it?

And of course just because something is telling or summarized doesn't mean that the way that you write isn't important! Your writing should still be engaging even when you're telling. Pay attention to the words you use, the rhythm of your sentences, the variety of sentence lengths, things like that. If something is pleasant to read it will keep the reader's attention on the page. If the sentence rhythms or lengths are too similar, it becomes "monotone" and causes people's attention to wander.

Something I pay special attention to is that - unless the narrator is subjective or unreliable - I don't tell something about characters in the narration which is shown to be false. Nothing gets me riled up like supposedly objective narration which tells me a character is like so and I should feel like this about them, but then their dialogue and actions reveal that to be patently false and I feel some other way. Of course that is something that relies on the narrator being objective and having access to more information than we do. If it's a POV character who might just be unobservant, overly arrogant, biased, or kinda stupid, that's fine

When it comes to showing versus telling in regards to the background/description...well. I struggle a lot with description because I have almost complete aphantasia and can't visualize things easily. So I cheat! Anything that I describe in detail is something that my POV character is actually paying attention to. The level of detail varies from book to book based on what kind of person has the POV and what sorts of things they notice. And again, that's relevant to the audience because it's information which is relevant to the character. This is also really great way to start building up to any kind of romantic interest, because people do tend to pay a lot more attention to people they're interested in!

I feel like this has gotten really long, so if there's anything that you would like me to elaborate on more or I wasn't clear about, feel free to send another ask! I won't say I'm objectively right (usually lol) but I'm always happy to talk shop.

Hopefully some of it can be helpful to you or at least give you some things to start thinking about. And of course, it's always a good way to start by studying books that you read and seeing what you like and what you don't like and how it's been handled in both.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Role Reversal

Roman kept mentioning that he doesn’t like transformations and it kept reminding me of Patton turning into a giant frog and Janus disguising himself as other sides. It would be very cool and epic if you could make some Roman angst based off this concept (no pressure obviously) – anon

The song "I Am in Great Pain, Please Help Me" by Crywank reminds me so much of Roman (specifically, your brand of Roman angst). I was wondering if you had the spoons for it, to write something inspired by it? No pressure to, ofc! – anon

Perhaps something where Roman is comforting Logan and then after Roman leaves, Logan is like, “Wait, shit, I should have been comforting YOU!”. You know the scene in What Makes A Perfect Gift where Logan asks for Roman’s input and Roman looks genuinely surprised? The angst potential for Roman not thinking he’s needed at a BRAINSTORM is so slept on. I know you’ve had a lot of Roman angst asks lately so I understand if you don’t want to do it, but I definitely wanted to ask just in case! – anon

Roman angst disguised as Logan centric. Logan Sherlock fic about him trying to figure out why Thomas’s mental health is so bad. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman being insecure, logan being insecure

Pairings: logince can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3143

Logan feels stressed about Thomas's mental health and goes to Roman for help discussing a possible upcoming video, only for Roman to accurately guess that Logan's feeling insecure about his own role in keeping Thomas happy and healthy. Little does Logan know: there's more going on than meets the eye and it isn't until later that he realizes Roman's far more fragile than anyone could've guessed. After that, well, there's really only one course of action.

If Logan had not been paying very, very close attention, there is every possibility that he could have missed it.

He almost did; despite being entirely focused on his goal, he has to admit that it wasn't something he saw as necessarily related, and as such, dismissed initially as not relevant to solving the problem of why Thomas's mental health had been in a steady decline since the wedding. However, upon further reflection, he can conclude that not only was the sudden tightening of Roman's expression related, it was most likely the strongest indicator he's seen since he began.

"Sorry, Specs, I think my hearing cut out of a second there." Roman scratches the back of his head almost sheepishly. "Can you—can you say that one more time?"

"I believe it would be helpful for Thomas for us to do another 'low-key' video, as it were, and for you and I to work together."

"Yes, I heard that part."

"As we want to focus on recapturing some of Thomas's whimsy and zest for life—" here Roman's expression quirks towards amusement— "it would be apt for you to try and recreate some of the dreams Thomas has held onto in the past."

"Right, but not like—"

"Including transforming into those he aspired to be or the roles he aspired to fill," Logan finishes, frowning when there's that momentary tightness in Roman's smile again, "do you concur?"

"I—so I'm all for helping Thomas fall in love with his dreams again, you know, but, um…" He twists his fingers together. "I'm not sure that this is…the best way to do it?"

"You are the embodiment of Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Who else would be better equipped to help me?"

Roman blinks as if he hadn't been expecting the comment. Which is in and of itself a little odd; Roman typically never passes up the opportunity to remind them of his standing in Thomas's psyche, nor to claim credit for half of the things Thomas does even when it's far more of a group effort. "Right, but I don't see how me turning into various things would be helpful."

"Thomas is a very visual learner. It's been proven in the past via various theater productions and other activities that he thrives in environments where he can immerse himself in what it is he's doing. By having you, his Creativity, directly mimic the dreams he wishes or wished to obtain, we draw a more substantial connection between the Thomas that he is now and the Thomas he aspires to be."

Roman's mouth works. Logan frowns.

"If you have something you want to say, Roman, by all means, speak your mind. This brainstorm won't be nearly as successful if only one of us is contributing."

"Where is this coming from, Logan?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"This." Roman gestures back and forth between them. "This sudden need to 'fix' Thomas. You've been pretty clear with the rest of us that you don't think staying 'in his head' would be helpful, not when you're working so hard on your lists that you want him to do."

"Well, it's been pretty clear those aren't working, so—"

"But they have been. You know they have been—we all celebrated when Thomas finally managed to clean his kitchen and you were right, he did feel better afterwards. Your methods were working, are working."

Logan swallows. He did feel very accomplished after the last bowl had been placed in the cupboard, and no one had been happier than he when Thomas not only made himself dinner but cleaned up afterwards, but this was different. "Thomas deserves the drive to go after what he wants as well as doing the maintenance required to sustain his current lifestyle."

Roman nods. "And what sorts of things are those?"

"Roman, I don't understand—"

"Please," he interrupts, holding up his hands, "humor me?"

"You're the one who's Hopes and Dreams," he protests feebly, "you're Creativity. I'm not going to be good at coming up with them."

"Just try. You're better at it than you think."

"O-oh." He blinks. "Thank you, Roman."

"Of course."

"Uh—well, I think Thomas has a passion for filmmaking that he hasn't fully realized in shooting the YouTube videos due to the constraints of the channel."

"Okay."

"He's been enjoying doing the modeling shoots for Instagram as well. And he has a few shows that he wants to catch up on—not a dream, I know, but something he wants to do."

"That's good, Logan. What else?"

"Does he still have the dream of being an actor? On a more professional level?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Well, there you are, then."

Roman nods. "And if we go off of your transformation idea, what—what exactly would I be transforming into?"

He furrows his brow. "Well, you would be—if you were doing—I suppose you—ah. I see your point."

"It's not that there's something Thomas isn't that we need to make him into," Roman says quietly, "we can just remind him of the things that are already inside him that he can chase and pursue."

"…that is a very valid conclusion to have reached."

"He doesn't have to work all the time—I think both you and I know the dangers of letting yourself believe you can," he says with a gentle nudge to Logan's shoulder, "he can give himself time to rest and work on things that he wants to, not things that he has to."

"And I suppose making another video would be counterproductive to this aim, as it requires a level of work that would not be outweighed by the reassurance it might provide."

"I don't know if I would've said it nearly as well as you, but yeah, pretty much."

Logan sighs, closing his notebook with an almost despondent flap. "Then I suppose I have nothing else to work on."

"Good."

He frowns at Roman. "'Good?'"

"Well, now that means you can do the things that you want to do."

"M-me? What on earth are you talking about?"

"Did we not just go over how important it is to not be consumed by work all the time?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Did we not just talk about how it's necessary to rest and do the things you want to do from time to time?"

"I don't—"

"Did you not just say that you have nothing else to work on right now?"

"I know what you're doing," he says, meaning for it to come out accusatory and missing dreadfully, "it's not going to work."

"Me convincing you to take time for yourself and enjoy spending your time how you want to spend it isn't going to work?" Roman grins, leaning forward onto his elbows, propping his chin on his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Roman," he warns.

"What? It's not like I was the only one who came to this conclusion about Thomas a second ago, you were instrumental in figuring it out, Specs."

"Roman."

"And we all know that you're way smarter than I am, so if you're going to take your own advice—which you should, then—"

"Alright!" Roman laughs as Logan buries his face in his hands, trying not to smile too obviously at the praise or blush from how many compliments Roman's just given him, "you've made your point, you can stop now."

"I think you mean I've just reiterated your point, but that's alright." A warm hand pats his shoulder. "You're doing great, Logan. You don't have to stress out about this right now. Thomas has earned a break and so have you, okay?"

"…I suppose there are a few things I've been waiting to do that could occupy my time."

"There you go!" Roman claps his hands and gets up, affectionately ruffling Logan's hair and dodging his attempts to swat him. "Let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear about whatever you're working on."

Logan aims another swat at his shoulder and misses, watching Roman sink out. He shakes his head, unable to keep the growing smile off his face as he thinks about his own projects. Yes, there are several things he could do, he could work on refining the data for the experiment, he could read that study he's been eyeing for a few days, he could look over the manuscript he's drafting…

It isn't until he gets back to his room with a different notebook open on his desk that he pauses.

Why had Roman been upset at the suggestion of transformation?

They had agreed upon resting and doing what they wanted, letting Thomas do what he wanted. They had agreed that resting was good, pursuing one's own passions was good. What about transformations had rankled Roman so? He hadn't directly addressed it—something virtually unheard of for Roman. Perhaps it had been something to do with the act of transforming itself? But no, Roman had always been among the first to thrill at being someone else, or pretending to be someone else. What had caused such a dramatic shift?

What sorts of transformations had they done recently? There had been the whole thing with Remus—Logan suppresses a shudder as he remembers Remus's song and everything that happened in it—but Roman had been unconscious for most of it. Aside from that, it had been…

Well, Janus had been transforming into them more often than not, but that was him, mostly, not Roman. And Patton had become the giant frog, but that hadn't really affected Roman that much either. No, the last time Roman had been the one transforming, it had been…for…

Logan stands up, eyes still fixed on a point in the distance as his mind races.

Roman hadn't transformed for himself. It had always been at the whim of someone else. Roman was Hopes and Dreams—Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Roman did things for Thomas. He was Thomas's wants. Despite how often they all called him selfish, he…he didn't really fight for the things that he wanted.

Could he name a single thing that Roman wanted that wasn't something for Thomas?

I think you and I both know the dangers of believing you can work all the time.

There's nothing that Thomas isn't that we need to make him into.

"Oh, Roman," he whispers into the quiet room, "when did you get so good at hiding?"

He doesn't want to know the answer, but his mind is already coming up with a helpful list of every time he can remember where Roman let himself get pushed to the side, overruled, scolded, overlooked, for the sake of someone else. He thinks about the times where Roman had been obviously uncomfortable with what they wanted him to do, and then did it anyway. He thinks about how long it's been since he's actually heard Roman say what he wanted, not what Thomas wanted, not what Patton or Janus or even he wanted.

How long has it been since someone wanted Roman for Roman?

He looks back down at his desk and pulls out a different notebook. He's underestimated Roman. He won't go into this upcoming conversation unprepared.

***

He knocks on Roman's door as softly as he can, waiting for the quiet come in to push it open. Roman looks up from his—

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

"Oh, Roman," he murmurs before he can stop himself, crouching next to Roman's slumped figure and carding a hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry."

"N-no, I'm sorry, 'm sorry, I can—" he scrubs a hand harshly across his face— "it's fine. What, um, what do you—"

Another sob interrupts him before he can finish asking if Logan needs anything, which only makes his chest ache all the more. He eases himself down next to Roman's buckled legs and wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders, pulling him close enough to wipe a thumb across his cheek.

"Shh," he says when Roman tries to speak again, "don't stress yourself. I'm not here for anything other than this, little one."

The pet name rolls off his tongue before he can stop it, but at the slightly wounded noise that leaves Roman's lips, he resolves to use them as often as he can. He scratches his nails lightly against his scalp, shushing him again when he tries to stifle another sob.

"I'm here because I realized I'd hurt you earlier," he continues, still speaking gently, "and I did not attempt to comfort you in any way. No, no—don't pull away from me, dear. Shh, don't fret, don't fret, I'm not upset—look at me, Roman, do I look upset?"

Roman's eyes, still filled with tears, roam frantically over his face. Logan keeps his expression as soft and open as he can, letting the concern write itself plainly over the furrow in his brow. After another moment, Roman sniffles and he's already reaching for the tissue box he can see perched haphazardly on the end of the desk. He takes it with a grateful mumble and blows his nose with a honk.

"You were right. You don't need to change to be worth something, or to be fixed. You don't need to become something you're not—oh, darling, hush, now," he says when Roman's eyes grow wide with distress, "I'm not angry, I'm not—oh, you poor thing."

For Roman had begun to sob in earnest, trying in equal parts to pull away from Logan's embrace and push himself near into his chest. Logan slides an arm under his legs and pulls them into his lap, tucking Roman's face into the crook of his neck and kissing the crown of his head. There's a moment where Roman tenses and he fears he might pull away, but then he all but collapses into him and buries his nose in Logan's shirt.

"There you go, little one, shh, it's alright. You can cry, crying is good. You're alright, you're safe, I'm right here." He runs his hand up and down Roman's back. "Shh, shh, that's it…that's it, my dear."

"Sorry—'m so sorry—"

"Shh-shh-shh, no apologies from you, not about this. You're overwhelmed and overworked, it's perfectly alright for you to be emotional right now. You can let it out, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'm here to help."

"Help?"

"Mm. You took great pains to comfort me earlier, even when I did not ask, and you," and here he gives Roman a little shake, "have not let anyone comfort you in quite a long time. So yes, I am here to comfort you, to help, and if that means letting you cry in my lap for as long as you need, then that is what I shall do."

"It's so hard," comes the sniffling whisper from under his chin, "I keep—I keep trying to be what they want but they don't know what they want and then it's my fault and I can't—they keep changing and wanting me to change and I can't—"

"Shh, shh…hush, my dear, it's alright. That's right, just let me hold you…"

They spend a great deal of time like that, curled up on the floor. Logan keeps carding his hand through Roman's hair, soothing away the more violent of sobs with gentle touches up and down his back or patting his chest. How long has Roman been holding this in? How long has it been since their prince has let himself fall apart without remorse? And how long has it been since they took pains enough to notice?

He pulls himself from his own thoughts when Roman's head turns, bumping slightly against his chin. He tilts his head to press a kiss to his temple, leaning back just enough to see the blotchy face come into view. Taking another tissue, he carefully dabs up the last of the tears he can see, holding it so Roman can blow his nose again.

"…thanks, Logan."

"Of course, my dear." He raises an eyebrow at the little shudder that goes through him. "No?"

"N-no, yes. Yes. Very much yes. Sorry."

"None of that now, my dear. Do you feel any better?"

"A little bit."

"That's excellent. Shall we sit here for a little longer, or do you want to move somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"C-can we just stay here for a little longer?"

"Of course we can." He runs his thumb over Roman's cheek again. "I am truly sorry it took me so long to figure out what was going on, little one. But I'm here now."

Roman averts his gaze and once again Logan is struck by how different Roman is right now; no longer does he see their fiery prince who so eloquently made him take his own advice mere hours ago, instead he sees a shell of a Side who shies away from a gentle touch like a dog too scared to eat. The comparison alone is enough to coax him to lean forward and kiss his cheek, cuddling him against his chest.

"I'm here now," he repeats, "let me look after you."

"You will?"

"Yes, Roman, I will. I'm right here—" he pulls him a little closer— "I've got you, little one, you're alright."

"I don't know what to do."

"Right now?"

"…anymore."

Logan's heart clenches in his chest and he forces the ache away, running his thumb over his cheek once more. "Well, what do you want to do right now?"

"I want to stay here."

"Then we shall stay here. And when you're ready to figure out what you want to do next," he says, adjusting them until they're both comfortable as can be, "I will be here to help."

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[ficsex]

i'm going to be totally upfront -and of course lmk if this is uncouth/too much, but- what is normal, non-actor/porno sex like?

not that you need to write a bunch on the minutia, but the vibe maybe? do people laugh, or get awkward, or like, mess up? in media they just turn up there, go for like 5mins and end the scene/cut to another scene..so, as dumb as it sounds, do you walk in there together, is it longer than that usually, and how do you leave the situation? when/do people actually use protection? i can't think of a sex scene in a movie that involved a guy putting on a condom tbh. so, stuff like that i guess? 🤷

silly maybe, but i'm sitting here realizing that i have no clue lmao. can you just say no if you don't like something? can you ask to take a break? maybe i'm just lowkey dumb, but a rundown of like, normal people sex would be cool, if you're comfortable to type it ig? <3

oooh, I love this question ( I love all questions, promise).

Here is a timeline of sex that might occur between people who are not in a porn or movie, all steps optional.

before sex:

making out on a bed, or on a couch/chair, leaned up against a wall, in the shower, whatever

asking "hey, do you want to take this to my bedroom?"

confirming "yes, but I only want to do [action]"

putting on music

locking the cat out of the bedroom

just rolling over in bed and starting to kiss or grope or touch

looking at your phone and going "oh hey, it's time for that sex we scheduled"

kissing or groping or biting with clothes on or off

removing clothes in a sexy way, or an awkward way, or a utilitarian way

forgetting to remove socks, or keeping them on because the room is cold

placing sex toys, condoms, lube, or any other sex aids by the bed

taking the duvet off the bed, or putting down a sex blanket

removing one garment and kissing more, and then removing another garment and kissing more...

saying "I want to keep my shirt on today" or "can you help me unclasp my bra" or "hold on, I have to put my earrings on the nightstand" or "oy, careful of my glasses!"

if it's a new partner, discussion of safer sex practices (do you want to use condoms? when was your last STI test? do you have other sexual partners?)

as sex gets started:

kissing/licking/biting/touching someone on any part of their body at all

exploring your partner's body to find out what feels good for them

starting to gently touch your partner's genitals

touching your own genitals while making eye contact, or kissing, or talking

massaging your partner

accidentally tickle your partner or get tickled, make a weird squawking noise in response

grabbing, squeezing, lifting, or moving your partner's body

opening a condom, glove, or dental dam and applying it to the relevant anatomy

pulling the plastic safety seal off a new bottle of lube

laying down a towel

grinding your genitals (clothed or naked) together, or against another part of your partner's body

almost falling off the bed, actually falling off the bed, or readjusting your position so you don't almost fall off the bed

licking or sucking fingers

during sex:

applying lube to genitals

performing oral sex

gliding the head of a bio- or inert-penis across lips, vulva, or anus (that can feel really excellent, whether you're intending to engage in penetration or not!)

fingering any orifice, or giving a hand job, or playing with labia, or grabbing an ass-cheek

try to insert a bio- or inert-penis into an orifice and slipping, or not being able to get it in, and needing to adjust the angle and try again, or push more firmly

often, someone with a vulva will use one hand to spread their own labia to make it easier for their partner to access their vagina

slowly sliding in to a mouth, vagina, or anus

shoving in quickly (with lube, one hopes, or plenty of spit or natural vaginal lubrication)

thrusting in one position for a while

switching positions, either because you want to try a new sexy sensation, or your knees hurt, or the current position is getting uncomfortable

more oral sex!

masturbating next to each other

taking a break for a little while, to catch your breath, or apply more lube, or kick the cat out of the bedroom, or because you remembered a funny meme you want to show your partner, or to take a step back to kissing, or because what you're doing doesn't feel good, or because you've having some feelings and you want to talk about them, or because you have to pee

using a dildo or vibrator

caressing, licking, or sucking testicles

adding more lube

going "fuck, I hate this song" and wiping off one hand to skip a track on your sex playlist

going "fuck, that feels really good, keep doing this"

going "hm, can you try going harder / changing the angle / turning up the vibe / using your fingers?"

riding your partner

fucking your partner into the mattress

touching lips or nipples or neck or ears while also fucking / sucking / licking

asking "do you want to keep going, or are you good?"

saying "hm, I want to stop now, this doesn't feel good anymore"

continuing

stopping

often, if one partner is penetrating their partner and one person comes, the penetrative sex might end, and the other person who didn't orgasm might say "I'm good" or "please go down on me" or "hold on, I'm going to grab my vibrator, will you kiss me / touch my nipples / NOT touch me / say sexy things while I get myself off?"

orgasming

not orgasming

after sex:

catching your breath

if someone with a bio-penis was wearing a condom, pulling out while they still have an erection, holding the base of their penis so the condom doesn't slip off

knotting the condom, then tossing it towards the trashcan and hoping it doesn't land on the floor

snuggling

not snuggling

laying next to each other laughing and grinning

grabbing a towel or discarded garment to wipe off your genitals, or to wipe off sweat and lube

getting up to pee (especially if you have a vulva) and then getting back into bed, or not getting back into bed

saying "wow, I loved when you did ______"

saying "can we try ____ next time, too?"

kissing

showering

brushing teeth

getting all the way dressed

just putting underwear back on

staying naked

changing the sheets, putting a towel on the wet spot, removing the sex towel, pulling back the duvet, or any other method of cleaning up

taking all of the discarded garments and putting them in the hamper

looking at your phone and going "oh shit, it's after ten, I have to get home now!"

letting the cat back in

going down to the kitchen for post-sex snacks

enduring the giggles of roommates

laying next to each other and sharing memes / scrolling tumblr

okay, that ended up being a lot of minutia, actually. so here are some vibes that sex might involve:

silly

feral

nervous but excited

lovey-dovey

aggressive

so-turned-on-you-can't-think-of-anything-else

a perfectly pleasant way to spend an afternoon, but you're thinking of other things

entirely focused on one partner, who gets to lay there and be pampered

shy and exploring

focused on the orgasm count

not even sure if you've orgasmed

angry sex

jealous "I'm going to make you orgasm better than anyone else can" sex

relaxed and chill / lazy

"I'm going to miss you so much I need to be as close to you as possible"

just plain ol' having a good time together

sex has SO much variety in activities, moods, how long it takes, what the point is, how you get started, how you finish up... there's no one way to go about doing it, but as you engage in more partnered sexual activities, you'll learn more about what options exist, and which ones you enjoy!

[lunar-years]

whenever I think about how Jamie (nor really anyone) knows about Rebecca's actions I get even more and more annoyed with the writers. Jamie deserved to be hurt, he was literally a pawn in other people's games without his knowledge.

yeah, I get this. I do think it is really beautiful of Ted to not get angry with her and to also not go around exposing Rebecca's actions to everyone else on the team, rather offering her wholehearted, blanket forgiveness. That is such a wonderful and meaningful standout moment in the show. That said, of course Rebecca's actions weren't only Ted's to forgive. They affected the entire team. All the player's careers (Jamie's especially because of her sending him back, yes, but literally all of them), Beard, Higgins, Keeley. That said, from the perspective of the show, this is actually an instance where I understand why the writers let the matter lie instead of sending Rebecca on an apology tour, because I think it would have been really hard to write that organically. Like, Keeley knows and doesn't tell Roy. Ted knows and doesn't tell Beard. I think those they choose to keep it quiet not *just* to protect Rebecca but because they know it would do much more harm than good to tell other people. Beard and Roy I think in particular would have had a really really difficult time forgiving Rebecca after that, and the show wanted to move the story forward.

Similarly, Rebecca and Jamie don't talk to one another on the show, lol. Rebecca has no idea she sent Jamie back to a situation of abuse, from her pov she probably convinced herself she was actually helping Jamie by returning him to a better team. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that from the writers standpoint, I get that it would be really hard to write a scene where Rebecca calls Jamie into her office to be like "hey, by the way....you don't know me well or know that i did this to you, but i'm sorry for it!" in a way that doesn't read as super weird and forced. Ultimately, who would that have even served? Because I don't think it actually would have helped Jamie to know that.

Personally, I was most let down by how quickly Keeley forgave her. I think it would have been more impactful to let Keeley really be angry at her for her betrayal for longer. they tend to forgive extremely quickly on this show, don't they? lol. And I think Rebecca's s2 arc should have been more focused on taking active involvement with the team and their success as opposed to romance, to better demonstrate the weight of her change.

[jiyansthesis]

NOT A ROOKIE ☆ ANYMORE

SIMON "GHOST" RILEY

x fem reader

summary: it's been a few years, and you've quickly made it up the ranks with your craftmanship and sheer skill when it comes to hand-to-hand combat and guns. when you get put on a new mission, you never guessed who would be there to save you

note: part 2!! honestly some people wanted to know when pt.2 came out, so should i make a taglist for my ghost fics? just comment or msg me if you want me to put you on it! i don't really like this i feel like it's so rushed or something?? idk it doesn't click. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING A KISSING SCENE PLEASE B NICE

tw: brief mention of non-con (but does not happen to any character in past or during this ff)

pt.1 // not proofread

☆☆.

shadow.

shadows can be your greatest fear, not knowing what lies in the darkness ahead of you. an enemy, or is it your mind playing tricks on you?

it can also be a safe haven, a refuge from the blistering sun, or other things.

but that can simply be a facade, a trap for others to fall into.

using the shadows to your advantage can be lethal. being quiet, deliberate in your actions as you sneak up behind someone and take them out without causing alarm.

when harnessed correctly, shadows can be your greatest weapon.

. .

"i've got him in my sights. ready when you are." you said, staring at the back of your target's head through your scope.

you waited for confirmation, but no response came.

"captain?" you spoke, even momentarily taking your eyes off the man who isn't aware of what's about to be his untimely demise to inspect your radio.

"fuck." you wouldn't shoot without orders, having learned your lesson way back, during the mission right after you met ghost. that mission also led you to be called shadow.

you heard a crackle, and what you could make out to be, "go."

you immediately put your finger on the trigger, realigning your gun, and once you were ready, you let out a deep exhale and added pressure, the recoil always making you blink against your will. you watched as the man almost immediately slumped over.

"target down." you began packing up your gear and gun, trying to get to the rendezvous before anyone came to check out the noise.

"shadow. shadow, can you hear me? shadow, how copy?" you heard.

"captain? what's wrong?" you asked, already going down the stairs of the building, sprinting.

"did you shoot?" price sounded slightly worried.

"yes. didn't you give me the affirmative?" did you mishear him? fuck, the only reason why he wouldn't want you to shoot was probably because you shot the wrong target. "don't fucking tell me i shot the wrong person."

"no, you got the right one alright. i just need you to watch out. turns out a lot of people have already found out about your little assassination. they were ready for it. be careful making your way back. i've got a little surprise waiting for you here."

"a prize? you finally rewarding me for my hard work?" you chuckled, now on even higher alert for soldiers coming at you.

"honestly, it's up to you if you think if it's a prize."

"is it a medal? i fucking hate medals. the fuck am i gonna do with them?" you scowled, the balaclava you had on shifting as your nose scrunched up.

"nah, you might actually like this. just get here safe."

"i'm looking forward to this, price. don't disappoint me. or i'll make sure you won't touch another cigarette in your life." you grinned as you stuck to the darker areas, trying your best not to be seen by coincidence.

you paused, hearing loud footsteps. you could tell that it wasn't only one person, but multiple.

"fuck," you whispered under your breath. you took out your knife and strapped your gun onto yourself, ready to do some close combat.

you saw them turn the corner, seeing three men, all armed with guns. there was no way you were going to be able to take them all down, but you can hope that they wouldn't notice you.

you pulled your balaclava down even more on instinct, waiting for one of them to sound the alarm and shoot.

you stayed close to the wall, thankful for the shadows that were keeping you from their line of sight.

two of the men split off, turning left before they could make it to you, but one kept making his way over. as soon as he made it in arm's length to you, you quickly covered his mouth and lodge your knife into his throat, watching as he struggled.

"sorry man, i just had to." you frowned as you let him go to eventually die on the floor, retrieving your knife.

you continued on, realizing that the other two had went the way that you had to go. there was no other route that you could go on.

"fucking hell," you grabbed your gun again, ready to fire before the duo could notice you.

you followed them, and sooner or later you caught up. they kept walking, deep in conversation. letting out two quick shots, they had no time to react.

"that was unfair, wasn't it?" you said to yourself. as you made your way around the bodies, trying to get as far as possible before another group came along.

sadly enough, you couldn't get far enough before another trio intercepted your path, also all armed with guns.

you quickly raised your arms up. how the fuck were you getting out of this one?

"what are you doing here?" one of the men said, and you realized that you were far enough way from everyone you've killed for them to even known what you've done. maybe you could play off being one of them, but that would be very hard considering the fact your gear was so much different from theirs.

you looked at him questioningly as if you couldn't understand him, simply letting out a "huh?"

the trio looked at each other, then back at you. you weren't tricking anyone with the tactical gear you had on and gun in hand.

"come with us," one of them smirked. this fucking can't be good.

you knew you were outnumbered, especially with all of them having guns. there was no way you were going to be able to run away or get past killing one of them before you got shot down.

you nodded hesitantly, and the three huddled around you, one of them holding a metal barrel to your head. you could feel it through the fabric, and you began sweating. this was the closest to death you've ever been, and one wrong move could be the last move you would ever make.

they led you away from the bodies, and closer to where you were originally going to go, thankfully, and you made it to a big house, in better shape than all the other house around.

a cloth quickly made its way over your eyes, and someone pushed you to the floor, tying your legs together, but for some reason not tying your hands together, when that's the most useful thing you could have in this situation. you felt the weight of your gun being taken off your body and be set somewhere else.

"just wait a moment sweetheart, someone will be here to talk to you. they'll be so happy to see you," you could hear that guy smirk. when you got out of this situation, you would make sure you pinned his fucking balls to the wall.

you could feel their presence leave the room, and you went straight to your radio.

"price, you there?" you lowered your voice, not knowing when they could come back.

"shadow, where are you? you should've made it back by now." price responded.

"i've been captured. i'm in some big house, in better shape than all the houses around. it's not that far from the rv point. it's on the route i was taking."

"fucking hell. how many are there? you hurt?"

"i don't know. there was three men bringing me in, said they were going to go get someone. i haven't been hurt- yet." you heard a door open and slam shut, followed by what you guessed was four people.

"look who we have here. ain't you a pretty one, darling?" you made sure to take your hand off the transmission button after he spoke, so price wouldn't respond and get your radio taken away or even worse, cause you to be moved to a different building.

that must be the guy they retrieved, but what the fuck was he going to do with you. you stayed silent.

"not talkative, huh? been a while since i saw someone as cute as you walking around." you felt a force lift your chin up.

you knew that if you did anything too rash, they would shoot you. it's obvious they don't want you for any intel, so that means you're easily disposable.

"i've been looking for a sweet little girlie like you. wonder what you can do." he released you, and said. "why's her hands not tied?"

"didn't have enough rope, sir. you'll already have her tied up in that bed of yours anyways."

they all burst out in laughter and you frowned in disgust. that's what they were doing? you decided to try and get up, placing your hands on the floor to drag yourself upright, when something sharp pressed against your neck. ironic to be threatened in the same way that you killed one of their men.

"don't try anything." the guy you assumed was their superior crooned into your ear, making you shiver. and not in a good way.

sticking to not speaking, you nodded, and the blade's pressure disappeared from your neck.

"good girl," they praised, but you cringed inwardly. you would've smiled hearing that come from anyone else's mouth, especially a certain someone. a certain someone you wished could come save your ass already, but you haven't seen them in years.

simon really was a ghost. you let out a chuckle at your own thoughts.

"something funny?" another person questioned. you shook your head quickly.

"leave her here. and go get some more rope, you think some rope around her legs are going to stop here from leaving? fucking idiots."

you laid the side of your head down on the ground, and slowly began lifting up the blindfold around your eyes.

you heard the scrape of a chair, and then the guy, who you were going to call, "the boss", sat down with a sigh.

"who do you work for?" he asked. "nevermind, that's a stupid question. i bet you're with those fucking assholes who killed our leader."

you smirked a little. little did he know you were said asshole who killed him.

"fuck this. those bastards can't find anything even if it was up their ass." you could hear the rustle of clothes as he stood up and felt him grip your wrist.

"what the fuck are you doing?" you spat. you could take him on in a fight as long as no one walked in with a weapon.

"the only reason why you're still alive babe, is beca-" he was cut off by the sound of yelling and gunshots.

"is that your fucking friends?" you heard him growl.

you shrugged. "probably," you cheerily agreed as you grabbed onto his hand that was on your wrist and twisted it as hard as you could, causing him to yelp in pain.

he let go of you and you grabbed your knife, not needing to see where it was due to memory, and quickly cut through the ropes around your ankles, standing up before the boss tackled you, pinning you to the floor.

you didn't need to see to quickly flip him over, trained in being able to overpower even the strongest person. you brought your legs over his back and used your weight and his momentum to make you the one on top. you didn't know if he still had his knife on him, and didn't take any chances. you brought your blade down on his leg, and he howled.

taking this chance, you ripped the blindfold off and made eye contact with the person in front you, some ragged looking person who could be in his late 30s.

"disgusting." you spat as he held his leg, tears streaming down his face. you saw no weapon on him, and you weren't going to wait around for someone else to come along and attack you.

you got up, getting rope and tying his wrists together, doing what he and his men didn't do to you, and you knew he wasn't going to be walking anywhere anytime soon. you put the blindfold around his mouth and held a finger up to your lips.

"you should be more fucking quiet like a good boy." you stood up, running out the room with your gun to the commotion coming from the front of the house.

peering out from a corner to make sure you weren't going to run out into a bunch of bullets, you saw a familiar man with a mask, and four men on the floor, one in the grasp of who you never expected to see.

"nice to see you're alive, rookie." ghost said as the man he carried crumpled to the ground.

"rookie?" you raised an eyebrow, only to realize he couldn't see you do that since half of your face was covered.

"got a mask of your own?" he walked up to you, and he still had so much height over you, looking down at you as you looked up.

"personally, i think mine is much cooler. it looks better on me." you laughed.

"shadow, you there?"

"nice call sign, shadow," ghost let the name roll of his tongue and your cheeks heated up.

pressing a button, you responded.

"i'm here, price. is this your little surprise?"

"couldn't stop him from going. he was eager to retrieve you."

you shot a questioning look at simon, who wasn't looking at you anymore, but instead looking if anyone else was in the house.

"what are you even doing here?" you asked ghost.

"well, i came to help you guys find someone for your next mission, but i think you already found him," he pointed behind you, and you turned to see the piece of shit crawling over to the two of you. how he even made it this far was beyond you, using his soldiers to propel himself forward.

"this fucking bitch?" you scoffed.

"i see the two of you already met," he noted the stab wound in the man's leg and the rope around his wrists.

"you wouldn't believe what he wanted to do with me."

ghost narrowed his eyes.

"he wanted to do something with you?"

"how else do you think i'm alive right now?"

"sheer will. i heard you've gotten good at close combat." ghost went over to the man and crouched over, and the guy looked up in terror.

"what the fuck should we do with you?" he hummed.

"do we have to bring him back alive?" you asked. you would not hesitate to lift your gun and shoot him.

ghost didn't respond, instead going back over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder that made you jump in surprise. the last time you were this close was when he was taking debris out your arm on that first mission.

"do whatever you want. we don't need him."

you grinned. "yes, lieutenant."

☆☆.

you were happy to be back on the base. that was probably the biggest stroke of luck you've ever had, being captured by the stupidest enemies you've ever seen, and by so few of them being at the house with you.

price was happy to see you back, and presented the prize you already knew about.

"aren't you happy to see ghost?"

"beyond elated. i'm currently pissing my pants of joy right now." the sentence might've sounded sarcastic, but you broke out into a huge smile.

looking over at ghost, you saw his eyes had a glimmer of amusement in them.

"i'll be in the other room. come over if you need me,"

you took off your balaclava and tactical vest and weapons as soon as you got in the room, sitting down on the cot. as soon as you swung your legs up and laid down to take a short nap, a rapid series of knocks sounded at the door.

you groaned, going over to open it to reveal ghost.

"simon?"

"can i come in?" he said gruffly.

you gestured for him to make his way in, and you shut the door.

"anything you want, lieutenant?" you emphasized his rank, still remembering the first time the two of you met.

"you ever gonna show me some respect, shadow?"

you held a hand to your heart, letting out a dramatic gasp. "me? not showing you respect? let me apologize."

you could see his eyes roll.

"since you seem like you were going to take a nap, i want to do some close combat with you. need to see how good you got since you were a rookie." it sounded less of an invitation and more of a demand.

"you asking me as a superior or am i allowed to decline?" you put your hands on your hips, tilting your head.

"are you really going to say no?"

"absolutely not. anything to fucking beat your ass."

☆☆.

the two of you were lying on the floor, and you were sweating. hard.

"thought you were better with guns, simon." you exhaled.

"thought you were better at hand-to-hand combat," he retorted.

you glared at him. "i will pulverize your ass."

he didn't reply, and you took the chance to get up and make him get up also.

"one more. whoever wins gets bragging rights."

"bragging rights?" he questioned, but you already began throwing punches and attempting to get him to fall.

he blocked majority of them, but you didn't let him have a chance to get offensive, instead opting to simply go for his waist and push him to the floor, with you attached. this led to you bear hugging his waist, your face in his chest.

you accidentally took a huge inhale through your nose, and you could smell him. he smelled like gunpowder, dust, and. . . wood?

"are you fucking sniffing me, y/n?"

"well, i'm fucking breathing, aren't i?" you could feel him attempt to flip you over but you kept yourself grounded.

"fucking christ. check where your legs are at." ghost groaned, and you peered down to see your leg against. . .

"holy shit, i'm so fucking sorry," ghost took this opportunity to successfully flip you over, and now you were pinned down again. for the second time today, too.

the space between you too was so small, and you could feel his body pressing on yours. your breathing sped up at the distance.

you've been infatuated with the masked man ever since you met him, never being able to forget those moments you had with him. those times you got to work with him, which was barely, had you cherishing those memories of him.

price obviously caught on, which was why he was calling ghost a prize. a prize you were happy to get today.

ghost could tell the look on your face with your half-lidded eyes and parted lips.

he leaned even closer.

"something wrong?" you could hear the smirk.

"fuck off," you turned your face to the side.

"look at me." you immediately went back to glare at him, but you couldn't with how close you were. "i asked you a question."

"nothing's wrong, ghost."

"so if i checked your heartbeat, it would be normal?"

"you trying to touch me, lieutenant?"

"so what if i am?" you had no response to that, opening and closing your mouth, trying to find the words to represent how you were feeling.

the two of you stayed in silence, just like usual, until you broke it.

"can i kiss you?" you murmured.

"close your eyes." you did as he said, and heard the sound of his mask being pulled up, followed by the feeling of his lips pressing against yours. he didn't let go off you wrists, leaving you to have to lean forward to return the kiss.

you kissed as if you had been thinking about this for years, which you had, and he kissed as if this was something that his life depended on. something that he's needed and has been craving desperately.

you never opened your eyes, waiting for the moment he decides to show you himself on his own terms. besides, doesn't it add to the mystery?

he pulled away much quicker than you wanted him to, pouting. you heard him as he slipped his mask back on and told you to open your eyes.

"sorry gorgeous. remember, i'm too pretty to be showing you my face. might dazzle you too much."

you laughed.

"i'm always ready to be dazzled by you, simon. you've dazzled me since the moment we met."

"oh really? you like it when guys insult you?"

"makes me feel like i've done something." you accepted the hand he held out to help you up as he stood.

"definitely have done something to me," he spoke to himself.

you grinned. seems like you both can dazzle people.

☆☆.

i absolutely despise this. i apologize sm

tags !!

@urfavsunkissedleo @shyyxzi

[gffa]

I know this has been talked about many times before, but I still don't know what we are supposed to think of Padmé's actions when she comforts Anakin after he confesses to murder in cold blood. He feels guilty and all, but he continues his shitty behavior even before he became Darth Vader, and then does it again. It's just hard for me to see Padmé as some sort of saint in that scene. And are we even supposed to see it that way anyway? There's no official answer, which makes it all the more mind boggling to me. When people say she forgave and did the right thing, it's seems unjustified because he still did it, he regretted it, but he also said "I hate them". Idk I'm sorry if this is too long. I just have a lot of thoughts on this scene.

Hi! For me, I've settled into a balance between "there's no hard narrative intention here, so I just have to let it go" and "here's my best guess at a look into what little has been said about her" and "here's what makes sense to me as someone speculating about her character on my own". I think it comes down to two things: 1) Natalie Portman's comment about how Padme thinks she can save Anakin as a motivation for her character and 2) that as complicated as it can be in some ways, the Tuskens were written in an extremely racist way, especially in that their deaths do not register with Lucas the same way other races/cultures would. Which means that while this should be a point-of-no-return moment for Anakin's character, while it should be recognize that he's murdering children here (and I do think that's meant to have weight, that the dialogue specifies he knows he's killing innocent lives), I don't think the narrative fully does so, and instead treats it as his "first step" onto the path of darkness, one that he can come back from. And I do think a lot of that comes from Lucas, much as I applaud him for being progressive in other ways and genuinely seems like someone who was trying to do better, does portray real world elements in a racist way in the movie, they're treated as less than human here. (I will say that Padme also is willing to take Anakin back even after he murders the Jedi younglings, so there's a little wiggle room here, in the way she reacts, but the racism is pretty undeniable and a big motivation here.) But because the narrative and the author don't treat his murder of the Tuskens as a point of no return, Padme can't treat his murder of them as a point of no return, so instead her reactions are based on the idea that, yes, this was bad, but it was something that still left good in him and she's trying to reach out to that good, she's trying to save him. As much fun as it is to examine these characters from a more realistic lens, so much of Star Wars makes a lot more sense when you consider what Lucas was going for on a thematic level--in a lot of ways, Padme isn't written for herself, she's written as a baromter of where Anakin is at. When she comforts him, it's because we're meant to see Anakin in a place of emotional turmoil. When she backs away from him on Mustafar, we're meant to see him as having crossed a line, unwilling to come back. When she says, "There's still good in him." on Polis Massa, we're meant to understand there's a glimmer of hope for the far-off future. I don't think it's really about Padme's character at all, I think she's written--as SO MANY of the elements of Star Wars are--to be an extension of Anakin's character, because the story of Star Wars is the story of Anakin Skywalker. I love love love some of the excellent meta that examines these scenes through the lens of what Padme is thinking and feeling and what her character arc is about. And I may be being uncharitable to the writing for her, but it's largely where I've settled just so I can stop itching over it. For me, I don't think Padme was "right" or "wrong" on Tatooine, I don't think we're meant to see Padme as any kind of saint. I think she's balanced between "Padme thinks she can save Anakin, but ultimately she cannot, Anakin has to be the one to choose to come back himself" and "Padme is basically a symbolic dark side meter, as so many of the characters in SW are symbolic of various aspects of Anakin".

[tenaciouslyobsessed]

Evan Desiderio | He/Him |

Evan lore? Kinda (how does one write about lore help) (I haven't written in a while, I'm rusty, don't look at me-)

Evan is a lonely man, who's desperate for love.

He has dated a couple of people, but they weren't good enough. He believes love is someone who is supposed to be on the same level as you. One you never get bored of, one who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Rest of your life is a long time, of course Evan wants someone perfect. But everyone eventually get so dull, mundane, too repetitive, too boring.

He hates boring people.

A lot of his exes complain about his lack of affection. How distant he became, unlike the beginning of the relationship. How he slowly slip away from them. Some of them cried if he even loved them in the first place. He wasn't sure, he thought he did.

But they always get so boring.

The lack of effort they put it's unbearable… It’s not his fault, I guess it's not their fault for being boring either. He was starting to believe he would never find his match.

Still, he kept looking.

Eventually coming across Ryan, he found him fun and interesting. Holding hands while causing havoc to the world. Evan actually liked Ryan, maybe he found his match?

He believed so, especially on that fateful day.

Evan never felt so alive, the adrenaline, the thrill, the love of seeing Ryan shaking at scenes of death.

Most people would be mortified of what they saw their partner do. Ryan surely was, staring at the stiff body on the ground. Killed by his own hands. Evan wondered what he was thinking at that moment. Despite Ryan actions, Evan never felt his love intensify in such a way before. To love someone even in the acts of murder. The thoughts of someone going so far for him.

Isn't that so romantic?

It ignited something in him,

the desire for love that burns.

That will eat him alive.

Overwhelming love that drags him to the abyss as he drowns in it.

Ryan was not the person who will give him that. No, he was a coward. He squirms and snaps at Evan due to stress. Evan realize if the situation a bit different.

He wouldn't protect him.

He wouldn't love him, like he did.

No, Ryan would throw him out. As easy as he pointed fingers at others to save himself.

It honestly disgusted him, truly.

Just as soon as he starts loving him and admiring him, he starts to lose interest. Just like the rest. H hated him for giving him a taste of truly loving someone.

But Evan has one thing he could be grateful for Ryan.

He gave him an idea, to how to get his perfect love.

While walking at the campus, he sees Ryan doing his usual shtick. Evan found the most perfect clay, ready to shape to his desires. Cowering under Ryan was a meek little Milo, in tattered jacket. Milo reminds Evan of a cute tiny rabbit. He couldn't help but to smile.

This is just perfect.

If his perfect love doesn't exist.

He's just gotta mold one to existence.

Evan fun facts

Evan have bad reputation for being creepy and nosy

People mostly try to avoid Evan because of his reputation. Lots of rumors going around about him.

Evan loves gossip, he has very good hearing. Why yes, he will eaves drop about how Steve cheated on Cathy. Drama!

He watches discovery channel

He's very affectionate (if he likes you)

Milo felt some sort of connection towards Evan, since he thought he was also getting bullied too

Evan loves bugs, he has a jars of them little crawlers hidden in his dorm

He is very petty, he wants to ruin Ryan

Evan is delusional (if you can't tell) he loves of the idea of someone, not the actual person. He loves the thought someone doing extreme acts as sign of love, and believes that's normal. (basically like Eris, except I'm sure Eris is actually self aware)

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Writer asks -

@bittercape tagged me in this weeks ago and I’m finally doing the thing!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

215 works...

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

976,222

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Marvel and DC lately, but I’ve also written a significant amount of Supernatural and Criminal Minds.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Brains Over Beauty (SPN/CM) 

Spitting Venom (SPN/CM) 

The One With The Pottery Barn Couch (DC/Marvel) 

Quitting (SPN/CM) 

Origin Stories (SPN/CM)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Almost always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I usually just do angsty endings that are on par with the angst level of the rest of the fic, I guess — I try to end with some amount of resolution or at least hope, and so I rarely think of my endings as angsty. But probably Come Haunt Me.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sweet Home Was Home. The whole story was about sorta… figuring out what happened after the camera stopped rolling. And figuring out what “happily ever after” would look like for them. So it was the fic that I felt was most important for it to have a happy ending and to have a full resolution to all the emotional threads. I really love the ending — I love the way it mirrors the beginning scene, and I love how well it sums up the ways in which the characters have grown, and I think it gives them exactly the full, meaningful lives that they deserve. It’s not just a love story and the ending reflects that.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not particularly.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

Yes. So many kinds. But usually the “rough sex as catharsis” and “kink as therapy” kind.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Ha. Yes. They’re my favorite thing to write!

Weirdest ones were probably This Tall To Ride (Sam Winchester/Frank Iero, because that height difference is fucking hilarious), Daisies (Sam Winchester/Harry Styles on acid at Bonnaroo), and Four Super-Soldiers and Tony Stark Walk Into A Bar… (in which Slade Wilson and Soldier Boy are in the cryo tanks in Siberia).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of, but I’ve never looked.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I’m aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Marshmallows, with @noxnthea

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Winterhawk. There is something so fundamentally good and healthy about the way these two fit together, no matter which aspect of their dynamic you bring out, and there are so many - they work as grumpy/sunshine, as murder husbands, as snarky disasters... more importantly, they’re two characters who would be able to both accept each other unconditionally and help each other grow, and that is my favorite thing to read.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have any right now! My only current WIP is Map of My Heart. The others have been shelved but I either don’t have interest in finishing them or I absolutely think I will finish them, no doubts involved.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Putting the reader in the character’s emotional state, showing character growth/development, and writing relationships that are ultimately healthy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes and building suspense. Which is why I'm doing this instead of working on my fic! Oops.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I feel meh about it? I am not a fluent speaker in any other language, so I’d have to use some sort of translator, which tends to miss nuance and feel stiff, which is never what I want in dialogue. Instead I tend to use italics to convey that they’re speaking another language but write the lines themselves in English.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lords of Dogtown. On fucking Quizilla. I am a Fandom Old.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

A Muscle the Size of Your Fist. If anybody wanted to get to know me really well, get to know what I believe and what I value and how I see the world, I’d point them to that. But it’s also just well written; I’m proud of the unique character voices and the way their narrative arcs all fit together. They all make each other better over the course of the story.

Tagging (with apologies if you've already done this) @kangofu-cb @stunudo @i-know-how-my-story-ends @carcrash429 @betrayedbycinnamon

[queseraone]

Writer’s ask game: anything you haven’t already been asked or answered

😘

4. How do you channel characters' voices and personalities? I watch scenes over and over again, and honestly I find reading other fic helpful. This sounds awful, but reading examples of something that isn't in their voice or matching their personality makes it clearer when it's right.

6. Do you prefer writing shorter, standalone fics or longer, multi-chapter stories? I definitely lean toward one-shots. (And let me just call myself out here... I've written one multi-chapter fic and it's been sitting unfinished for 5+ years 🙈) So if I was to try to tackle another multi-chapter idea, I'd need to have a clear vision for how to have it play out.

8. Do you have any rituals or habits that help you get into the zone? No, but I really should try to create some lol.

9. Have you ever collaborated with someone else on a fic? Yes! It's a fun challenge and I'm excited to do it again!

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you? Feeling confident in my ideas. That feels like a stupid thing to say, but I struggle with coming up with ideas for stories. If I have a vision, I can (usually) execute it, but so often I find myself questioning if an idea is worth writing or not. (Also summaries, they're a bitch!)

16. How important is it to you to stay true to the original creator's vision while writing fanfiction? It's extremely important to me. To me, that's the whole point of fanfiction - you love the characters enough that you want to play with them! If you throw their original characterizations out the window, you're just writing original fiction and plugging in the characters' names. [steps down from soapbox]

17. What's the most memorable comment or review you've received on one of your fics? Oh man, can I say all of them??? I truly cannot express how much joy a comment brings, and I absolutely go back and re-read them when I'm feeling down about my writing. My favourite is when someone quotes my work back at me, I swear it makes my face hurt from grinning so hard!

19. What's the most unusual or unique setting you've used? I guess the ski cabin because it's so far removed from Los Angeles?

20. How do you approach action sequences or intense moments? Action scenes are scary, and I'm not super keen on tackling that again - but I will say what helps is (I sound like a broken record on this point) having someone you can bounce things around with, and (as stupid as this sounds) blocking it. I mimed kicking my husband down the stairs to figure out where Lucy's foot would connect with her attacker (and good thing I did, because it was way higher up than I'd guessed!)

22. What role does humor play in your writing? Do you enjoy adding comedic elements to your fics? I don't consider myself a funny person. I try to inject humour into my writing sometimes (depending on the situation), but I'm not sure it's super successful!

23. How do you write endings for your fics? Do you prefer open-ended or conclusive conclusions? I hate endings. Hmm maybe this is my answer for #13. I think sometimes you go into a fic knowing exactly how you want it to end (sometimes even down the closing line), and other times I find myself circling the drain, totally lost on the right way to close it. The story never really ends as far as I'm concerned, so I lean more open-ended I guess? Especially since I tend to write more missing moments.

24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction? Don't be afraid to ask for help. Check your grammar (little things like your/you're go a loooong way). And please make sure you're spelling characters' names correctly... But truly just go for it. There's an audience out there for pretty much everything!

26. How do you approach plot twists or surprises in your fics? So I'm absolutely evil and absolutely live for this kind of moment. I still feel a sense of (villainous) pride over the plot twist I threw into the end of the opening chapter of an old fic. It's fun keeping people on their toes!

27. What two (or more) fandoms would you like to see a crossover for? Would you ever write it? Do I have to pick? Because I'm truly not a fan of crossover fics, especially between fandoms! And I don't really watch many other shows right now, so it's hard to say. Chenford getting called in to break up a fight between queens on RuPaul's Drag Race? That's the best I can come up with!

29. Are there any characters, relationships, or general character dynamics you've never written about but would like to try? Nearly everything I've written in this fandom is jut Tim and Lucy. Other characters' involvement has ranged from minimal to nonexistent, so I think it would be fun to play with that more. Top of my list would be to write more Tim and Angela moments, because they're my favourite relationship outside of Chenford.

30. How do you handle writing multiple storylines or subplots? I've never tried!

31. Do you prefer writing from a single character's perspective or switching between different viewpoints? I think I prefer picking a single character and writing from their perspective (still in the third person though), but I'm certainly not opposed to switching back and forth.

32. Have you ever participated in fanfiction contests, challenges/fests? YES! @chenfordsecretsanta, we'll see y'all again next year! And I participated in Chenford Week for the first time last summer!

33. How do you incorporate world-building elements into your fics? I haven't really done this, I tend to just stick within the show's universe.

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share? If you're unsure about dialogue, say it out loud. It's weird but highly effective. And for the love of god, if you wake up in the middle of the night with an idea (because that's always when it happens) make the note. No, you will not remember it in the morning.

Now I need a fucking nap, holyyyyyy. If you've made it to the end, congratulations, you deserve a trophy 🏆

[tewwor]

get to know the rper questionnaire .

tagging: stolt from @rcguish ! tagged by: EVERYONE!!

NAME?: ro, kc, kermit, whatever yall want

PRONOUNS?: she/they

MOST ACTIVE MUSES?: uhhh cruor, jie, jackrabbit, spencer (?)

RPG CLASS I'D BE: a little bitch— bard, lets be so fr

FAVORITE COLOR: orange! green!!! purple.....

FAVORITE TYPE OF THREAD: now, if you take a look at my powerpoint and pie chart ( points to blog ) — the consensus is fighting/action, ridiculous silly scenarios, hidden angst, hallmark romance moments, found family, and integrating your muse into one of my lores :o)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY MUSE: i'm just going to blab about cruor, because jie's had his time on the other blog BUT LIKE —i just think he's neat! and it's interesting ( fucked up on my part ) how his phobia of blood wasn't innate, but rather a result of having experienced death first hand and coming to realize 'oh shit, i actually died, and i can still feel flashes of it in my head, and now i'm panicking'. also, how overachieving for him isn't something necessarily good. yes, it's wonderful that he's able to heal people. but to push himself beyond what the marked tell him to look after? just because there's this drive he's applied to himself to heal as much as he can, as if he can heal himself or his mother's grief in a way? yeah, no, it's doing more harm than good. and he's kind! the sort of kind that most people might think of a too much or silly. and he's shredded as hell, lets be real here.

HOW YOU LIKE TO RP: i'm holding everyone's hands as i say this.. it's just like consulting a magic 8 ball. i'm so serious ( pensive ). sometimes quick one liners work! other times random ask memes are good! half the time it takes some plotting and getting to know my writing partner's character a bit more! a lot of time it's just yelling in dms. just depends on my brain, your preference, and the stars aligning or something.

FAVORITE PLOTS: injured or sick + someone helping them....... oh shit, i guess we're stuck in a Situation....... literally any dumb hallmark scene ( i think it's so funny )........ fake! dating!!!!!!!!! arguing / trying to pull someone's head out of their ass to help them...... showing care, in just about any form.... horror :-)

WHERE YOU GET YOUR INSPIRATION FROM: ahem, ahem, YALL!!! we're all lil' creative generators here, even if it feels like you're in a slump! i can say with full confidence that all of my mutuals have wonderful, fantastic characters and worlds they bring to life!!! also, podcasts, the few films or tv shows i come by, books.. sometimes......... fever dreams and dreams in general tbh

FACT ABOUT YOU: the ogs know this, but i thought i could crack a glowstick with my teeth. i was right. i also happened to ingest half of the liquid inside because i bit into it too much :o)