#yes this whole post is an excuse for me to talk abt them again

[ponuchuu]

thinking about niko returning to fontaine for a holiday break and he prepared a shit tons of gifts for everyone, like fresh sumeru water for neuvillette, local sweets for furina, fresh ingredients for sigewinne, ect...

he likes to say he doesn't care but he really can't can't care yknow

[arolesbianism]

Oh no. There's gonna be a 25ji animation and ppl are going to instantly forget everything abt Mafuyu's character. Get behind me boy

[ad-hawkeye]

wanted to know if you ever got to read artem’s pool/8 ball card i thought the event story was cute but i was a wee bit curious on your thoughts on the card

I JUST FINISHED IT!!!!!!!!! AS WE SPEAK!!! i have a whole list of my thoughts HAHA SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING IN ADVANCE

"artem had to join a pool club for work" is one of the better excuses to give him a new hobby, ill begrudgingly give them that

im glad artem still has the alcohol tolerance of a squirrel. do NOT let this man go off by himself he will accidentally take a sip of alcohol and then need a time out in the corner.

"is it that obvious?" yes, artem.

mc making sure artem eats a fucking meal is rly cute LMFAO

mc ordering artem a non-alcoholic drink is also sweet. i remember i wrote a fic (all the way back in like 2021 after reading atmospherics) where i wrote abt artem going out of his way to drink mocktails after all of that. genuinely really happy to see that's canon.

i've noticed newer ssrs are just. shorter? first year ssrs tended to be like, over an hour long when put on auto. but newer ones are only 40 mins on auto. laaaame. but then again with the overall writing quality, maybe they're just putting us out of our misery.

ah yes. artem getting surprised by mc kissing his cheek in public. what a sly sex chad. did they get the only good artem writer left at hoyoverse on this card or something

artem being exhausted from socializing is a mood. girl same.

the way these two talk about alcohol sends me. dear god artem we can let you have a sip oh god. OH JESUS CHRIST ARTEM NO --

this story is cute enough to make me sad. godddd. it's really nice to see artem more casual and open, esp since this story is more in character.

THE IRISH GOODBYE?? ARTEM LMFAO.

mutuals meet me in the secret passage of the pool place

sneaking out by running is giving the same energy as his revisiting youth ssr where they decided to sneak to the school's roof and hide from the security guards lmfao. ah. the nostalgia.

AND this ssr acknowledges artem's love of movies?? YES

STOP KISSING IN THE STORAGE ROOM GUYS THE CINEMA STAFF IS GOING TO FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAR GOD

"this should be filmed in slow motion" LMFAO

JUMPSCARE. JUMPSACRE. NEW ARTEM EXPRESSION. JUMPSCARE. HOLY FUCK

i sincerely think a full on artem smile is all i ever wanted back in the day i cant believe i fucking got it in the POOL CARD OF ALL CARDS

"was something set up incorrectly?" "[artem pout] probably."

mc taking a pic of his stupid distracted expression is amazing and him getting blushy about it is even funnier

"was it too sour?" "yeah...."

thank god pathetic artem is back

nevermind he is licking her arm like a dog. tot's fascination with licking will never fail to amuse me. this is like when my dog licks my leg in the middle of the night

if one sip of alcohol fucks him up this bad i'd hate to see what happens when he's a few shots in. mr wing breaking it down sloppy style on the floor (not clickbait)

STOP LICKING EACH OTHER YOU FREAKS

i think artem should trip a few more times it's funny

this is the closest we've gotten to artem fessing up about atmospherics i can fucking taste it

NOOOO THEY FUMBLED IT. NO ATMOSPHERICS MENTION. ENDING IT ALL. GOD DAMN IT

i can forgive this bc the running joke of them missing scenes in a movie is back

all in all as far as post second anniversary cards go, this one wasn't bad at all and had a lot of cute moments. a few weird ones (which is to be expected at this point ig), but mostly cute!! it made me miss my fav artem cards but in a good way. siiigh ;_;;;

[drifloonz]

Hey bestie✨love your fanfics! May I humbly request a Glitchy Rex x insecure reader? Perhaps autistic too? If not thats cool ✨

im gunna answer this in a bulleted headcanon typa post, which is hopefully fine bc if i write One more fanfic, esp w glitchy i Will explode ( and yes i am still procrastinating on the one i have a draft of. i got two of my back teeth pulled out and am recovering so thats my excuse + its so long and too much writing for me to comprehend rn + I do not have many "new" ideas )

newayz, ofc ofc!! we love our autistic couple

glitchy red x insecure ( and autistic ) reader !

♡ guess who's also autistic. thats right babey its glitchy!!!!!!! he's the ADHDtism creature. along with a lot of other stuff. but rlly whatd u expect. he's a red.

♡ due to this, he'll happily listen in on your rambles or partake in activities that make you happy. you got special interests? he might not understand a word of any of it for some things, but he'll happily listen and intake the info and try to add to the conversation by asking questions. he likes your voice as its an extreme comfort of his, so your rambling is very nice.

♡ i like to imagine before he somehow gets out you twos day to day life when hes still inside of the cartridge is just turning it on and you idly rambling to him while he listens, gives input, and updates you on how he is over there. you are a v comforting presence to him and you give him a reason to want to leave.

♡ he himself would ramble so much abt pokemon to you. my mind is mentally metronoming glitchy hcs between "he would hate a lot of pokemon stuff" or "he would be so autistic abt pokemon" . prob changes depending on the time of day and what he's talking abt specifically, but he does like at least explaining or talking about his whole... living situation in the cartridge, along with pokemon and their stats and whats the best for certain gyms, and strats and stuff like that, along with really obscure facts. he's seen it all and he's seen a bunch of different players playstyles, so it's natural to him to have absorbed that kinda info and be interested in it. competitive mf...

he is literally this image.

♡ if you're ever self-deprecating around him or something of the sort, he's going to verbally attack you with compliments. moreso responding with like "What? That's stupid." and maybe following up with a compliment to the part of yourself you insulted, eg "Your face is the prettiest thing I've set eyes on. It's not ugly." he'll also be sure to kiss around that spot more often and compliment you more often and more casually.

♡ similarly, if anyone insults you intentionally or not he is on their ass, like a fucking rabid guard dog if he was present for when it happened. he'll be yelling at them, or quietly telling them off with like, a simple "Shut up." or something, depending on how bad it is. if you feel bad about it he'll once again try to reassure you that you're perfect the way you are to him and that whoever told you that was scum. he likes to be aggressive and make clever yet insulting quips since he doesn't have much of an outlet for his internal rage, and it also makes him act all cool so he sort of enjoys when somebody is being a dick because it just means he can make you watch him verbally destroy them. and he likes to impress you.

♡ if this happens but its like, prolonged harassment, he is literally going to doxx whoevers being a bitch towards you /hj. moreso, he's going to track them down and try to threaten them so badly that they don't do jack shit to you after that.

♡ i like to think glitchy is constantly moving some part of his body. he's pretty impatient, and will usually resort to thumping his foot quietly or drumming his fingers along a table. stuff like that. he will also often shove his hands in his pockets and play around with the fabric inside of it. give him a stressball, that shit will be popped so quickly. he also likes to idly throw something up in the air and catch it if hes reaallly bored. he usually does this w/ his pokeballs.

♡ this is good in a relationship if you like touch, cuz' glitchy will put his attention on you when hes bored or zoning out, and will instead often touch you or kiss you or talk to you. one of his favorite things is brushing his thumb over your hand, or running his hands through your hair or something.

♡ because you are probably pretty open with your interests to him, finding gifts for you comes pretty easy. he also just has a good natural sense for gift-giving, i'd think. like he subconsciously sees something and goes "oh, maybe you'd like that" in his head. don't ask how he gets these, he probably doesn't have money ( he manipulates his glitchy powers to duplicate the item like missingno, or just straight up teleports it to you/your home or something. likely both. )

♡ he really just thinks your the sweetest thing ever, and also you know a looot of stuff he doesn't. he's new in the real world, so watching you explain very specific things that happen in real life to him fascinates him, genuinely... its another reason why he loves your rambles. he could listen to you explain anything with a lovestruck expression ( ...which is constantly a resting neutral expression with a small smile sometimes, he's not super expressive unless hes mad. )

♡ if you're averse to certain foods or textures, he'll learn that quickly, since he does try to cook for you on occasion... maleeewife.. on first impression to most people that aren't you, he acts like he doesn't really care about you but he really really does - he's just not that expressive a lot of the time and he also is awkward with PDA.

♡ he himself probably gets overwhelmed with or icked out by a lot of food tbh so he eats pretty slowly and also has to gradually get used to certain foods with overwhelming flavors. he's used to literally not eating anything so this makes sense. its also the 'tism tho.

♡ he likes to cuddle while you do any activities you like. its comfy and he gets to see what ur doing. win/win.

♡ he's touchstarved but also hates getting touched suddenly. if you are the same he relates. due to this, early on in the relationship he'll instinctively flinch if you touch him w/o warning probably. but the further u get the more he follows you around like a lovesick puppy yearning for your touch

♡ overall he just loves u soooo sooo much.. you can say literally anything to him and he'll hum and nod and go "Uhhuh." with a small tiny little itty bitty smile on his face... this is where he feels safest. in your arms or holding you in his own while you just talk to him.

[wildissylupus]

re: scraping genji off the concrete

i was talking to my friends in my discord server abt how demonized ashe is for being a loud country woman who’s also in a position of power

i was bringing up how characters like hanzo and gabriel get their actions excused because they’re attractive men and i was like “yeah people hate ashe for slighting cassidy but apparently thats way worse than hanzo literally hacking away at his younger brother with a sword?”

like i feel like people undermine how brutal it was like he didn’t just stab him one and done it was a massive fight and genji has everlasting scars + his legs are either very broken or cut off considering he mentions wanting to walk again in retribution

and yeah i get it GENJI forgives hanzo but i don’t

Yeah I do agree that people forget how brutal what Hanzo did to Genji was. It was too the point where it was only Angela who could save him. In a world where medical technology has far surpassed our own, do you know how bad it would have to be where only one of the worlds best doctors can save you? It would be bad-

I found a post awhile ago that goes into Genji's cybernetics and what would have been injured;

Yes's it's speculation but it's still worth noting that Genji lost more than half his body mass.

And with Gabe he was pulling a bunch of Bullshit before he even joined Talon. Going behind Jack's back, the Rialto incident, actively putting more people in danger by not thinking things through to point he should have. Let's not forget the little comments he makes towards Genji about Hanzo, and the fact that he let Moira into Blackwatch, someone who no one trusted and who ended being the catalyst of Talon infultrating Overwatch.

Contrast this to what Ashe has done, which is gang activity and being mad at Cole. It really is kind of unfair how the treatment of the two is so different. Yes it's hinted that Ashe somewhat lost her way in the early days of Deadlock's founding;

Putting the gang in danger and possibly even getting some members killed because she was going bigger and bigger too quickly. This didn't just cause problems with law either, but with other gangs too;

Deadlocks rapid growth got them being attacked from all sides, but do you know what she does in contrast to Hanzo? In contrast to Gabe?

She realised that what she what she was doing wasn't working, she look at what she was doing, corrected it, then went for a more diplomatic approach. Ensuring the safety of both her gang, her family, but other gangs around the west too. After Gabe and Hanzo lost something they seemed to just double down and accept what happened while also trying to do something that at least gave the choices they made meaning. Trying to at the very least get something out of what they lost.

Ashe lost Cassidy. Though I don't think that is the only reason Ashe took the diplomatic approach, personally I think Cassidy and Ashe had a fight about morals and what was happening with the gang before he was captured and that's why she took the diplomatic approach, because she knew Cassidy was right. Either way she didn't double down, she looked at her behaviour and corrected.

Honestly the whole situation with Hanzo is going to be interesting, people say that the interactions in game between Hanzo and the other members shows that he'd get along with everyone instantly. But I think that would only be true for Mei, everyone else who were close to Genji while he was in Blackwatch are going to be very distrusting at first. Hell the fact that Angela and Hanzo have not interactions says to me that if they interact outside of story missions it would be a spoiler. (I am of the opinion that Cassidy and Angela are going to meet Hanzo together purely because Genji needs someone to stop Angela from committing a murder)

I think people forget that Genji forgiving Hanzo is a big thing for Genji's development, not just Hanzo's, and I do think that people are expecting them to get along like brothers when that dynamic can't really happen, I think it's part of the reason the writers added in the "your like a brother to me" interaction with Cassidy and Genji. It's also why I like that Kiriko was introduced, it gives Hanzo the ability to have a familial connection again. Neither of them can forget the damage that has been done, even before Hanzo tried to kill Genji.

I personally look at Hanzo and Genji in the same way I look at Cassidy and Ashe. Yes, they can become close again, but things can never go back to the way they were. Trust has been broken, people have changed and damage has been done. All they can do is move forward, with, or without each other.

[chrono-art]

Okay, just putting out some of my random ass, balls-to-the-walls theories about Dai dark. None of these are actually based upon fact, mostly just gut feeling or little things that have happened so far in the series (btw, don't think I've read past either vol. Five or Six (it's hard to remember for me cuz I read them online lol) So if anything I say doesn't add up to how the story is right now, that's why.)

anyways, spoilers abound ahead!

I think Avakian is actually Zaha Sanko. Like, Idk it's hard to explain ig...but I think the Older Sanko we see in that one weird dream/flashback that Sanko had is actually Avakian. I can't remember what the pannels looks like exactly, but I believe it kinda looked like old Sanko was being sacrificed or something, and carried by what could possibly be two light head members. But I think that it's more likely Zolar "members" possibly? Depends on what "Zolar" really is. Where ever he (Old Sanko) is really at could also be "Zolar".

I also maybe think that it isnt actually Sanko that has the "wish bones" like most people think. I think it's Avakian. Idk not much to back this one up either other than a one off line that was something like Avakian saying that if Sanko dies, he dies too. Also kinda of think that it could connect with the sort of "reincarnation" theory I think is going on with Sanko/Avakian.

I also think that it's possible that Shimada could have killed Sanko previously. Maybe that's why Avakian hates him so much? Seems like Shimada's relations run much deeper with Avakian (and Sanko, to a certain extent) than the series is letting on.

ALSO ALSOO. I think it's REALLLY kinda suspicious that shimada just hangs around Sanko all of the time. Like, Yes he technically has a reason to do so, aka. eating lots of "the flesh of death" and saying they " taste better when it's not him that's killing the person" but I think the whole thing is kinda fishy tbh.. Seems like an excuse to me for some reason? Like I said, pure speculation, but I find it hard to trust Shimada, especially because it seems like the series WANTS you to.

I also don't really think Shimada death is actually "death". (atleast, in the grim reaper sort of way that I believe he's supposed to be like) I think just because he can kill on demand, doesn't mean that he's death.. Sounds funny, since he literally has " death" in his name, but I think maybe the "death" part could be some sort of alias that he picked up from being a space menace, lol. (Also, wish I knew Japanese, since I think that could possibly give more context clues to what's going on with him. Sorta like the thing Q did with aikawa, kai, and ai, possibly?) I also don't think he's immortal (I talked abt this in another post lol). Again, not really any solid evidence to base this upon other than a gut feeling that a being thats actually "death" is going to show up and fuck the group up lol.

Anyways done throwing out some of my theories that will probably be bogus, because you never really know for sure with Q's writing style until the plot twist is revealed, then it all suddenly makes sense in hindsight, lol.

[desudog-gone]

do you mind me asking why your blog says people who are anti proship won't like you? /gen

[Read the whole post if you read any of it, not @ the asker just @ everyone who cares abt this discourse. Bc I think all of it is important for the understanding.]

I don't believe in censorship of fiction basically.

[Long ramble under cut. Not aimed at u entirely, moreso so I can make this a FAQ response later]

Tldr: I have a very grey stance on an issue treated black and white, but I share more in common with proshippers than antis.

(I say both words with a bit of a rolled eye.)

(Essentally I'm anti-censorship and belive in the block button. Antis disagree with me, and while I am critical of some points some proshippers have, I agree with most points of proshippers/align with multiple of their beliefs, so if you hate them, chances are you'll hate me. Any discourser based on "person whos defined by hatred" is gonna dislike me, chances are.)

Because I read/play a lot of yaoi VN a lot of the stuff I like is also also often in line to be considered "irredeemable media"

Etc.

I bring a "if you don't like something, close the tab or block the artist." Vibe to the blog space that a lot of antis don't appreciate.

I used to consider myself an anti because I was forced to by an old friend group and the time I spent in the community was actually downright traumatizing and even if you're a picture perfect enforcer of harassment, people would treat u like shit.

I was just done with being treated with suspicion all the time, with being told openly by people I was "for now", knowing that I was walking a tight rope, and if I acted in a way they didn't like, if I engaged with a media they had even a sliver of reason to dislike, they'd throw me to the wolves.

I understand their talking points and when I actually sat around to think about it I realized how stupid everything I parroted was.

If you hate proshippers, you'll hate me, because I'm a firm believer in people being able to write whatever. I'm a firm believer that fiction shouldn't be censored but it should be accurately tagged/warned/otherwise disclaimered for if it contains commonly triggering content. Like how things work in the real world.

I was also always frustrated with the double standard of so many "antis". Once again, I know this issue FROM THE INSIDE. It's absolutely encouraged to be done as well. The idea that "the thing I like gets an excuse because I like it... but not your thing I think is cringe, even if they have the same issues." Its unspoken but entirely true

The anti community runs entirely off the idea of assuming the worst of every person ever. They give clearance to anyone who submits to them, and as long as they vaguely say they're "critical" of the thing they like. This causes antis to assume anyone who doesn't explicitly submit to them as being NOT critical of what they read/write etc, which is just an insane thing to do to what is mostly adults.

Antis also encourage the "ticking time bomb" mindset on other people that I despise.

Antis run off the idea that someone who hasn't hurt anyone should be punished for the crime they assume the person *could* commit.

I was treated like shit for being a babyfur even when I bent over backwards to justify myself to them and suck them off.

I honestly got fucking tired of it. I noticed one day, well actually after multiple days of deep thought, just how violent it all was. How much control was demanded over me, how everyone was literally waiting in anticipation to hurt me.

These days I don't label myself.

I think the whole discourse is dumb. I think taking a SUPER nuanced discussion, with MULTIPLE opinions in it, and saying "well you can only be one side of the pole. It's black and white only you can say no to everything, or yes to everything." Is just idiotic and a poor way to handle the situation.

I also don't label myself out of spite

I don't see any reason why I should have to fit other people's boxes even if I fit their definition.

My MO at the end of the day is "don't harass people just move on." And apparently that's the proship motto. So if you dont like "blocklist the tag idgaf" than you won't like me.

I'm a babyfur. I fucking play hadaka shitsuji. I think quadruped furries in nsfw is fine. I am far from the perfect image of an "anti"

Every day I get more and more comfortable with being morally impure in fiction. & I love it. Fuck evangelical style refusal of critical thinking. I'm never going back to being that scared again.

I encourage people to be mindful of the things they write but never in a million years would i think enforcing actual censorship on fiction is a good course of action and ESPECIALLY not while an ACTUAL BOOK BAN is happening in my country.

Also in the state of any kind of nsfw etc...

My fiction is not a person, IM a person, and an adult. This doesn't mean I control the consent of every character it means I AM THE CONSENT of every character. My consent to the media I make is the only consent that is real. Everything else is fantasy.

If it was 2 people, and we roleplayed characters, we said face to face we consented, it was fantasy- fake, this would be okay, right? It's safe between two adults, it's between 2 consenting adults.

When it's one person making fiction, it's the same thing. I am the ONLY PERSON in the situation. There are fake characters doing fake actions which I all consent to.

"What if your art is used to make other ppl thing bad things are okay?"

Was not, has not, will never be the fault of the artist. Predators will always find a way. This is literally repeated from other people in the past who want to censor writing. The freedom of art is more important than the potential of someone who could use anything else to hurt someone being shut down. Even if all art deemed 'bad' was destroyed, predators would find a way. It's shifting the blame. You'd think with all the glorified murder in the world we'd have more slashers dressing up in the skin of humans or something, right?

"But anyone who wants to write about those things are clearly abusers in wait!"

Once again, the ticking timebomb approach is heartless. First of all- no it doesn't say anything about their character. TWO, so fucking what? Literally anyone in the world can be an abuser. Anyone in the world can go, "huh today I'm gonna rape someone" or something! Anyone! But until someone does something, you can't claim they're actually hurting people. Everyone has the potential to hurt someone. It's taking people in the worst faith possible, it's heartless and inhuman. Nobody is made an abuser by birth, thought crimes aren't crimes. Actions are what matters. And until someone acts? You have no reason to pretend you're a fucking time traveler or psychic who will "know" that someones an offender. The slippery slope speaks for itself.

"But writing real people doing bad t-"

Didn't say real people I said fictional characters.

"But Ao3-"

Don't use the site. Frankly don't care. I'm not big on fanfic I just think people should be allowed to write their fiction without being suppressed.

This isn't even getting started on how western the whole thing is and the issues with racism, and recent clashes with ENG fandom vs JPN fandom, etc.

[weirdo09]

ok so i just got back from seeing atsv and just oh my fucking god.

like first of all THE ENDING?! LIKE HOW OUT OF ALL THE (honestly small amount of stuff) SPOILED FOR ME HOW DID NO ONE TELL ME THERE WAS GONNA BE A TBC AT THE END?! I CANT WAIT HOWEVER MANY YEARS ITLL BE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT LIKE-

and like half the stuff in this film felt like a maaaaassssssiiivvveeeee metaphor for coming out like the “promise u won’t love me any less” (or whatever see said i’m bad at remembering exact quotes) and the fact that during Gwen’s speech to her dad EVERYTHING TURNED FUCKING PINK BLUE AND WHITE like cmon they aren’t even being subtle abt it u guys (@ the ppl who r denying it not u) just don’t wanna see queer ppl in media they literally could not make it more on the nose w/o making it an actual queer coming out story and not a metaphor (also when Miles and Rio were talking and he was trying to tell her “a secret” aka that he was spider-man and he was going all “i- i’m- i’m-” before bailing she 1000% thought he was trying to come out to her like as queer idk what other way she couldve interpreter that like srsly)

also not to be horny in asks but i need Miguel to fucking rail me for fuck’s sake hes hot and usually it’d be more likely i’d be into a mosquito than a muscular guy (it’s normally too generic yk)

and yeah that’s all my thoughts on the movie that’s i can turn into words (final random ones that idk how to format: Gwen and Miles were like extra baby in this one esp Miles + ik he has a wife and all but Peter and Miguel r definitely doing smthn like the vibes r there u cant deny it + Gwen x Miles is one of those ships that i don’t rlly care whether they’re romantic or platonic but i prefer them platonic and unfortunately the writers don’t seem to agree with me (kinda like Jopper except Jopper kinda grew on my entirely because of Willel being siblings bring extra extra canon) + not related to the contents of the film but there were these group of rlly annoying Neds sitting behind me and my friend who wouldn’t stop talking and going on their phones and i only heard one but according to my friend 2 ppl yelled at them to shut up and i heard them stop for like 2 seconds then start being bitches again it was so fucking annoying) and yeah damn that was a kinds long final thoughts thingy but yeah will this become my entire personality? idk we’ll have to see now if u’ll excuse me i gotta remember how to be a normal human again (hope this wasn’t too long lmao) :p

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(sorry had to let that out) (it’s happy btw)

yes yes the metaphors, made me cry n everythin,, miles n rio were just !!!!!!! i loved it mostly bcuz i wish that was how my mom would’ve reacted if i ever came out to her (spoiler alert, she didn’t and she found out on her own. she was not at all accepting which is typical)

i mean at first, i thought miguel was comical very comical for having beef with miles, who is half his age!!!! yeah after i got out the theater, i wanted to beat his ass 😡😡😡 but then i could kinda see his attractive still not an excuse, i’d still fight him on sight

peter + miguel, i mean mj would obviously approve,,, they’re my poly couple ok??? miguel n mayday get me in my feels,,, 😭😭😭 like i’ve posted before PETER B PARKER AND MIGUEL O’HARA ATE EACH OTHERS ASSES!!!!! yeah great times

miles + gwen, i don’t really see or care for them romantically.. idk i just can’t see their romantic coding… them platonically just seem so much better to me

sorry abt those Neds,,, they seem like total bitches and you make this movie your whole personality bcuz it will be worth it (secretly goin to make the movie my personality again)

[gavinom123]

3 + 11 + 13 + 16 ?

You didn't specify a fandom, so I'll just pick ones I feel passionate about LOL

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

FUCKK it has to be after Muu's MV came out, I saw someone say she faked her T1 MV... which is literally impossible... The Milgram fandom lost all of its reading comprehension the second the series became more character studies than murder mystery and you can see it in the T2 results... her whole MV is her lying to herself about how she felt about her murder and her ex-friends/bullies... she doesn't want to see herself as a victim, so since her MV isn't presenting her as one since it reflects her mental state, suddenly she is lying about something that she literally has no control over.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

Honestly... not too many? I pretty much only filter for spoiler reasons, I'd rather know whos reblogging/posting things that make me uncomfortable so I can block them rather than filtering it out of my dash. I think I have like 4 spoiler filters up currently

13. worst blorboficiation

I already answered this for WH, so I'll answer this for ZENO now! The way people characterize Kuro in a lot of the fandom really rubs me the wrong way.. They tend to reduce him down to solely his need for love, and not only that people tend to put that focus on specifically his need for love from Aki. While I understand it's a significant part of his character, it's also something he grows past in his development, and I see a lot of focus on it only after his Zeno activates but before Aki regains his own memories so it's just not to my taste to be completely honest. I'd love to see deeper analyses into the nuances of his character outside of his search for affection, but honestly I'm not sure if we'd get it from this fandom LOL. I would write analyses myself, but I'm more of the passively absorb every aspect to this character type than "ah yes he acts like this because of this aspect of his past here is the evidence" character essay type...

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

OH MY GOD I FINALLY HAVE AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THIS WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE QKAI. Like it's cute, don't get me wrong, but I dont understand the basis for it outside of Q-taro being one of the people to bring Kai up again later. They don't have like any super significant interactions together, and it ends up feeling a lot like a case of them being the leftovers of pairing everyone else off with one another...

Questions! (Still taking these its nice to chat abt fandom opinions :) )

[t4tpumpkinduo]

aheem heem 12 and then like. all of the 20s?

YES KISSA YOU O7 doing dsmp ones uhm

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

well you already know what the hell i'm going to say...ceeschlatt i'm so sorry he only did some of that you guys are so annoying. i think a huge chunk of his story is just like. Canonically Textually way deeper and more sympathetic and more complicated than people want to acknowledge. guys will have direct blatent narrative foil parallels of their mistakes to their blorbo of choice but only one side will get a million excuses and only one side will get their pov analyzed. OK 👍. telephone game ass fanbase. read the parallel storyline of what would've happened had pogtopia won read the nov 16 script look at the canonical smplive isms analyze why someone would want to "revive someone for political power" desperate style after a funeral where it was Blatantly Clear that person has absolutely Zero Power and it paralleling the post charlie death insanity. and then you will calm down!!

honorable mention to ceefundy as well. i wouldn't say he's unpopular unpopular but goddamn. despite the fact he's so interesting and cool and inpactful and represents huge chunks of Core Themes, he just gets ignored and infantalized and has so much of his story plain Erased because it's inconvenient to other characters. Fucked!!!

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

ceeranboo so sorry ok. iget why people like him i do but he is so so bland to me. shepards tone empty promise of a character. to me. some of his implications were pretty interesting, especially when it came to things that were more complicated, the exile isms the being knowingly complicit in ctommy prison murder or him drinking ableist copium abt tubbo being kind of unhinged. the centristism sometimes feeling less waffly and more like he's trying to people please to the point of exploding. too bad i do not care ☝️🔛🔝

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

and if i say tntduo..it's been so overhyped it overshadows everyone else it overshadows their own damn characters entire arcs and decisions and then the whole story itself they are not allowed to be anything except eachothers klance bait which was equally as mid. i do think there is value to it but at this point i am so exhausted about the oc versions being treated like canon when on screen its so bad out here sometimes. ppl going ohhh we never got resolution :[ ,,,.ccwilbur blatantly said what would've happened in the final tntduo stream. cwil would show back up to lnv in the same set up of his apologies but its a bait and switch that pivots into insulting q again and then finish it up w oh hey maybe yr not so bad after all 😂 and then he gives him a fist bump and leaves. there's yr closure. lea me alone

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

i already said i think pumpkinduo is like funny comedy mallets for crazy people but i think most other things get attention properly? el rapids deserved more hype tho i srs think it would change how people see a lot of the characters involved

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

im not sure? weird shit is a given but other than that who rlly care <- edit: HELP i misread the question i thought it was asking what you are Unwilling to come around to. so sorry. to answer the actual question uhm,,still not very sure hheheh im very solid in my dislikes and likes and complaints

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

exile and the prison for sure :heart_hands: /RETCH. sure other things are very annoying but the levels these two arcs get to are Awful and Telling and Shitty the media illiteracy is off the charts. how you can watch streams with your eyes closed and ears closed and without registering the words or characters on the screen. what's going on. anyways if cdrm thinks torture is so bad maybe he should not talk about eye for an eye when he had tortured three people before he was even in the prison. but okay. also rip prison arc sam the world wasn't ready for a character like you 🙏

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

i'm not sure? what are the most common complaints i do happen to agree with a lot of them i think

[asterekmess]

Been seeing you getting hate mail and while I absolutely can't understand why anyone would go to all the trouble to make some one else feel bad... I also kinda really love the discourse on Scott? Like YOUR RANTS oh man. On point. Always. Tbh I tried giving Scott a chance... He is the main char after all... But I was like??? Wtf? That dude does nothing but refute others and does whatever he wants. And this was when I didn't particularly like Stiles either (first time watching Teen Wolf). But then I got to know more of him and like Tony he went asshole to lovable asshole—seriously, Stiles might not be the ‘nicest’ but he tries and his heart is in good place—while Scott is just... self-righteous. Someone pointed out that he sees people as possessions and that irks me too that I can actually see it being true. The dude has literally nothing going on except for being the one that gets bitten. And the Romeo-and-Juliet-esque romance he has.

Okay, okay, where was I going with this?? Right. LOVE YOUR RANTS. People need to understand that Scott not being liked isn't because of his race or anything trivial like it—he just happens to be—but because of his actions. Or inactions, as it were. *remembers the pool scene and Scott saying he's busy and resists the urge to chuck a shoe at him*

Basically, love you, love your work, and love your words! ❤️

I've talked with some friends about it, and our number one issue sort of...boiled down to the hypocrisy of the show? I....sort of rant a lot here, and I would add a Read More, but I can't find the option anymore?? I fucking hate Tumblr. EDIT: I found a post that told me how to do it!

So, since he's the character I focus on the most, let's talk about Stiles' morality. Because, you're right. Stiles is an asshole. He does some fucking awful shit in the first season, and even if he had a Reason to do it, it was still bad. And I still don't like it. But I understand it.

Stiles' lack of shits about what is 'lawful' is literally established in the first ten seconds of the show. He's a sheriff's son who sneaks onto people's roofs in the middle of the night bc they aren't answering his calls, who listens in on his dad's work conversations and is willing to fuck up a crime scene because he's so excited about getting to see a dead body. He doesn't care about laws. He doesn't even care about most basic manners (invasion of privacy much, with having Scott sniff Lydia to see if she liked him?). He's a dickhead, even to the people he cares about sometimes. But personality and morality aren't the same. Stiles' entire actual morality system is based around whatever he needs to do to keep the people he loves safe and happy. Lying to his dad so he doesn't get murdered by hunters? Totally fine. Telling Scott that it was "Jackson's own fault" that Scott attacked him with superstrength and dislocated his shoulder, so Scott doesn't feel like an asshole? That's just best friend duties! He will lie, steal, cheat, and he will kill to keep his loved ones safe (let's not forget this boy threw molotovs at Peter, knowing damn well what they would do to him). We can headcanon all we want about all the different people who are in this group of loved ones, but the list is canonically very short: Scott, his dad, and Lydia. Later on, like, past s3B? It includes Derek. Canonically. Stiles puts his life and the lives of others he cares about on the line while he lies to the matriarch of the Calavera hunter clan, to save Derek Hale. Derek is just canonically a part of that group now, and he fucking knows it bc Stiles is his anchor (that's canon too bb). End of Story, Sterek or no Sterek. It's why we get that insane number of lookbacks when Derek is dying before his evolution. Because Stiles is being forced to choose between two people who are BOTH in his ride-or-die group. He Cannot Pick between Scott and Derek, until Derek begs him to leave.

SO, yes, Stiles does fuckface things, and I don't always agree with what he does, but it is ACCURATE TO HIS CHARACTER. He is morally grey. He NEVER CLAIMS to be pure or good or just or righteous. Stiles knows who he is, and he stays true to himself. And I love him for that.

The same goes for a bunch of other characters! For Peter, who is strikingly similar to Stiles, in that family goes above literally everything. Screw the idea that he was following Derek around waiting for the chance to steal back the Alpha spark. That man put his life on the line (his second life, no less) to get the shit beaten out of him until Derek let him help save Derek's life Again and Again. Family Comes First.

Scott's morality is...confusing as fuck. I thought at first he was similar to Stiles, in that family came first, but...while he's protective of his mother, he also does a lot of stuff that puts her at risk without seeming to care/worry (like leaving Peter alone with her once Stiles hits their car, so he can chase Jackson) (or asking her to come to the high school when he's convinced there's a bomber in it)? Seriously, he's more protective over Allison, than his mother. It's very black and white the rest of the time. Very "this bad" "this good." And if you do "bad" then you are bad forever, while if you do "good" you are only good until you do "bad." The Betas were "good" until they asked for the bite, and then they were "Bad." Derek was "bad" when Scott met him and scared him, so after that, no matter how much "good" he did, he remained "bad." But only when it suits him. Allison is good even when she does bad, because he wants her to be good. Chris is good even though he's done mountains of bad, because of the minuscule amount of good that Scott has seen him do, because Scott wants him to be good. Even DEUCALION is good, despite the crazy CRAZY amount of bad he's done and despite having seen him do NO GOOD, just because Scott wants him to be good. Lying to those closest to you is bad, unless Scott is doing it, and then it's good, because he knows HE is good. Killing people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Letting villains go is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Biting people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Protecting family is good even if it requires killing or lying, unless it's not Scott doing it. Revenge for past slights is good, unless it's not SCOTT doing it. And you try to understand it! You try to say, okay, then he's morally grey, got it. He plays with the rules to suit his own morality, whatever. Except that Scott, the other characters, and THE SHOW ITSELF, are all telling you otherwise! They all say that Scott is morally pure. That he is good and righteous and lawful. That he always does the "right" thing, and that when he does "bad" things, it's justified and he had to. THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES say Scott is somehow better or more righteous than the other characters by MAKING HIM AN ALPHA OUT OF NOWHERE. (I'm talking abt canon here, not going into deaton conspiracy theories) It's like....Like in the hate mail response I did, where I pointed out that Every Single Thing people get angry at Derek for doing, Scott did too. Lying, killing (or at least attempting it), attacking innocents, losing his temper, keeping secrets, refusing to work with someone who could help, etc etc etc. Everything Derek has done that is morally "wrong," Scott has also done. And that's okay! Doing a bad thing doesn't make you a bad person, and even if it did, Scott is ALLOWED to be bad! GO FOR IT.

Except that he is sinless. It isn't that he learns from the bad things he does, it's that they aren't treated like bad things in the first place. Because Scott did it, and Scott always does the right thing.

Derek's behavior is reprehensible at times, but the show ADMITS that and frames it as bad. Frames it as him doing a bad thing when he scares Isaac or throws Peter or tells Erica who to date. And that's fine, because Derek is established as not being morally pure.

But SCOTT IS. And because they were so desperate to make him continue being "Pure" they didn't frame the things he did as wrong, or if they did, they absolved him of it immediately, using the exact same reasoning that works for Derek's situations, but this time Actually Accepting it.

He scares Stiles, well it's because he's scared. He throws Isaac, it's because he's upset. He attacks Jackson well it's because Jackson was being a dick. He orders Allison to date Matt, well he had a goal to accomplish. Every reason is treated like a fucking doctor's note that erases the bad things he does.

Being scared, or angry, or retaliating to someone being an asshole, or trying to protect himself, was NEVER a good enough reason for Derek to do ANYTHING "Bad." It was never an acceptable excuse.

IF IT WERE: If the show were making a statement about how fallable people are, how they do bad things, but they do them for a REASON. How people will do wild and terrible things out of fear, and how that doesn't make it less bad, but it makes it understandable, so don't demonize them out of nowhere. If that were the case, I would HAVE BEEN FINE WITH IT.

Scott is held to COMPLETELY different standards than everyone else in the show! And I DON'T mean that people held him to higher ones. They dropped that bar so fucking low. Anything was allowed, and any excuse was good enough.

He made out with a girl who was dating someone else, who his best friend was in love with? It's just the full moon, he's angsty about losing Allison. He ducttapes Liam to a bathtub and starts throwing random phrases at him that he hated Derek for saying to him? He's freaked out! He doesn't know what to do with a bitten wolf! It was an accident! He works with a mass murderer behind people's backs without telling them the whole story? Am I talking about Gerard or Deucalion? Who fucking knows. Either way, it's okay, because he was protecting his family. He plots to murder a cancer patient slowly and painfully by replacing meds that likely included painkillers with mountain ash, and the uses someone else's body to deliver the killing blow, and it's okay because he was just being smart! He was just working ten steps ahead! He was saving his mom and the whole town! Who cares if it DIDN"T WORK?

He walks into his ex-girlfriend's hotel room and scares the SHIT out of her while she's naked and alone in the shower? It was the wolfsbane. It doesn't matter that no one else's impulses included HARASSING someone. He lies to his girlfriend's face about her own life because he doesn't think it's important enough for her to know (who am I talking about, come on, take a guess, which one is it? Allison or Kira? Trick question: it's both). He was just being kind! He didn't want to worry her! He didn't want to make her feel bad! She didn't need to know!

I'm so far off track it's not even funny. My point was that Everything the other characters in the show are demonized for or framed as evil or bad or wrong for doing, Scott is shown to do and it's treated like at minimum a comedy, if not a Perfect Brilliant Strategic Move.

God, fucking hell. I mean, the PARALLELS you see in this show, between Scott and others. The scene of Alexander Argent going to the hotel after being bit? That bit where he pulls his shirt up in the mirror? It's a near PERFECT replica of Scott looking at his bite at Deaton's. They paralleled SCOTT MCCALL with AN ARGENT. Deaton has this whole line in S2 where he's bitching at Derek about "the person you should trust the most doesn't trust you at all" And then seasons later, we have Scott look his best friend in the eye and refuse to trust him, only to get upset later because Stiles doesn't want to work with him anymore and he "lost them." Scott goes running into Derek's house in S1 to accuse him of killing the bus driver, and when he can't get a real response, he EGGS HIM ON by accusing him of Murdering his SISTER, just to get Derek to react. Which is the EXACT same thing Kate did when she showed up and wanted Derek to lose his temper. Scott is CONSTANTLY paralleled with villains and assholes, and constantly does the things that others are persecuted for. But instead of feeling regret or learning something from it, instead of growing AT ALL. Those actions are treated as good. We are told they are righteous. And clever. That they are what heroes do. AND YES: There are parallels between Derek and Stiles' behaviors and villains/morally grey characters! Of course there are!

BUT THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THE TRUE ALPHA MAIN CHARACTER. SCOTT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GUY. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MIMIC/EMULATE THE VILLAINS, AND HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REWARDED WHEN HE DOES IT ANYWAY.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I understand the urge to think that the Teen Wolf writers did all of this on purpose. That they built Scott up as an unreliable narrator, so that we're forced to come to terms with a protagonist who isn't good, and we watch them fall into a villainous role while thinking all the while they are a hero. That all these parallels are intentional and the writers just couldn't Tell us what was going on bc they didn't have enough power.

And sometimes I play into it. I will lie to myself about Scott being the 'narrator' of the entire show, and that we're seeing it all through his eyes so of course things are biased and conflicting, just so I can actually Enjoy watching it.

But I think it's absolute bullshit that this was done on purpose. It wasn't. The parallels appeared because they Wanted Scott to do the badass things that they had all the villains doing, throwing people and being sneaky and clever, and stopping the bad guy, and they didn't want to deal with the fact that they were having him do bad things. So they just pretended he wasn't and refused to acknowledge that they'd already punished other people for doing the same exact shit, but somehow Scott was getting rewarded. They wanted Scott to be the hero, so they made him the hero, and screw everybody else.

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[subterra-elico]

i have an idea i wanna convey but im not quite sure how to word it but here goes anyway??

okay so like basically we all know that the way neathia is painted to be perfect and stuff is a bit unsettling (?), especially when u find out abt the power that the element had that neathia had kept to themselves, and the fact that gundalia, or at least barodius' father, was scared of neathia.

and then u got the obvious gundalia where the major 12 are obviously garbage apart from nurzak who redeems himself i guess but like. the minor 12, we dont get motivations for, apart from ren. like they all know the fate that awaits them if they mess up so like. why? are they there? were they chosen like the vexos? were they threatened? bribed? propaganda? what's!! their!! motives!!!

but of course we're looking from the perspective of our beloved heroes or something and theyre the good guys! and they're on neathia's side! so neathia good, gundalia bad, bc thats how heroes work, and to be fair there's not much of a reason to think otherwise until way later on. BUT what if we had a different perspective, like the perspective of a former villain?

one of the things i liked about new vestroia was mira!! i mean her writing went really really downhill later on bc she ended up becoming a damsel in distress unfortunately but anyways. when you think abt it, mira was a sort of former villain! before she realised, she was treating bakugan just like everyone else! obviously she was never on the same levels of batshit crazy the rest of her family was on but she gave some sort of nuancy to the people of vestal i think? and i think its kinda what they try and do with ren? but i don't think it works as well bc he just ends up. regular villain. and then former villain later on. idk it feels like the impact just isn't there especially since again it doesn't help explain the minor 12 order's motivations.

ANYWAY back to former villains, *slides alice, spectra, and gus your way* hey~ yes this whole rambling was kinda an excuse to talk abt my faves bUT HEAR ME OUT

okay actually i dont rlly have much of a specific reason for alice, i just like her, she deserves better, she knows what its like to have to do things against ur will, and she has a bit more of an understanding i think? also shes more mature than everyone too!

NOW spectra my main reason is actually, the scene post redemption w mylene and shadow prove where they try and save them, which always seemed so wild to me bc they literally just threatened mira's life, and also its been like a week at most since his redemption how has he changed that fast- ANYWAY spectra is someone who has lived under a corrupt authority, has lived around other people affected by that authority, has BEEN that corrupt authority, can apparently?? be sympathetic and try to save those who have done bad shit (same w gus interacting w hydron at the end of the season too), plus spectra is wicked smart when they want to be, which is a key distinction bc he does some dumb shit, but anyways they would probably click on pretty fast that "hey! neathia seems kinda off-putting!" and "hey! gundalia is also obviously fucked up but how willing are these kids in this whole thing?" LIKE THERE WAS GENUINELY SO MUCH POTENTIAL W SPECTRA'S CHARACTER POST- REDEMPTION THAT NEVER GOT EXPLORED (include gus in that too obviously)

basically tl;dr- the black and white morality in gi is kinda unsettling sometimes and there's so much more potential to making it more grey, also if we had the input of former villains itd help that

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ A FIRST DATE ❜

with Johnny ‘Coco’ Cruz.

Request: Can I request a fluffy Coco imagine?? From his POV about their 1st date and his thoughts abt her and stuff? I really want some coco fluff lol. ❤❤🔥

BY ANON

Word count: about 1.7k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author.

Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

“Brother, just be yourself”.

Angel thinks that Coco is giving it more importance than it really has, after trying different outfits, without finding the perfect one. He doesn't have many clothes, because he doesn't really need it. But now, he's really pissed off.

“If I act like usually, she'll kick ma' ass in fucking seconds”. He grumbles sitting over his bed, rubbing his face with both hands.

You two met at the hospital some week ago, when he suffered some kind of accident that left him blind in one eye, for some time. He felt his heart pumping because of love for the first time, when he saw you after cleaning his healthy eye. And before that, he was already truly fascinated by the way you had to calm him down using your voice. A sweet and honeyed tone that he could be listening to his whole life. He couldn't help but think how good falling asleep every night hearing you talking would be. It took him almost two weeks to ask you out, but he couldn't feel more happy when you said yes without letting him finish the question. Coco felt strange when he left the hospital after it, experimenting a bunch of sensations stuck in his chest that made him feel better than ever.

Now, his insecurities are coming into the light. Everything he touches ends up destroyed, broken. You are too pure for his shit. You don't deserve to take that risk. Taking off his phone from his pocket, he searches for your number. Gilly and Angel are looking at him intrigued, until they find out what he's going to do. The big one takes the phone off from his hands, while the oldest Reyes holds him to guide him towards the door.

“You're not gonna flake on her, pendejo”. He grunts, pushing him outside his house.

His brothers follow him to the meeting place, watching you sit on a bench waiting for him, after twenty minutes standing up and walking around the big fountain. You look beautiful, dressed with a pair of shorts, a baggy white shirt with the sleeves rolled up on your shoulders and black sneakers. He turns around, trying to run away from your life again, facing his friends.

“I can't”. He just says, with his hands almost sweating. “She's too much for me”.

“She's perfect for you, man!” Gilly rolls his eyes.

“C'mon, Coco, don' be a chicken and get the girl”.

Licking his bottom lip, he just nods in silence, trying to find the perfect words to encourage himself. Turning over his Vans, he starts his way towards you, doubting for some seconds. And he's about to leave when you raise your eyes from your phone. The smile you draw with the corner of your lips gives him a heart attack, knowing that he could die full of happiness right now.

“Hey, I thought you weren't coming”.

Maybe it wasn't the greeting he was expecting and he feels so sorry for having made you wait. Stroking the back of his head, he forces a grin.

“Yeah… I was… 'bout to not comen'”.

Your gesture turning from enthusiasm to disheartening, causes him some bitter shivers inside his chest. He has already fuck up the good vibes between you two, that borned in the hospital. Seeing you nod in silence, shrugging your shoulders, makes him feel out of air; trying to think something to fix it up.

“I really… appreciate that, at least, you came to tell me that this isn't going to happen… It would be… humiliating”. You whisper putting your gaze away from him.

Coco can see the way your lips are trembling, as if you were about to cry, and it's painful. For him, it's painful.

“No, mami, lis—”.

“It's okay, Johnny, you don't have to excuse yourself”. Waving a hand on air, you try to make it easy for him. “I get it”.

He's missing the boat, watching you turning around and focusing your attention on the screen of your phone again. Maybe typing to some friend to pick you up, maybe about to call anyone else. But finally, the orders from his brain move his body to stop you.

“No, wait!” He says somewhat loud, grabbing your left wrist. “I wanna date you. I wanna have a lot of dates with you. This ain't you, mami, but me”.

Looking at his hand confused, you travel his arm until finding his dark and desperate eyes, talking to you in silence. Begging you to listen.

“My life is a shit. A mess... A chaos. I… had this accident with my eye because… of a dogfight with another gang. I didn' wanna lie to you, you know? I think you're smart, and pretty and… you don' deserve a guy like me who is… always in fuckin' trouble and that… used to ride a bike that probably would never ride again, just… with a shitty work on a scrapyard”. Coco is getting more and more nervous because you're not saying a single word back. He gulps with some difficulty, taking a step closer to you. “I ain't a good man, I don' do good things, but… I really wanna date you, mami. I've never been so true in ma' life”.

And he's about to give up with a crappy sensation running his body, when you tangle your finger with the ones that were gripping your arm.

“Maybe you can teach me to drive a bike, so I can ride for you”. You just say, hoping that it's enough for him.

“That sounds good, ma'”. He replies with no hesitation, feeling like for the first time he's having a good opportunity in his life.

Watching you smile again it's like seeing a rainbow after a destructive storm, putting his arm over your shoulders to start a low walk.

“Do you like pizza?” You ask then, raising your head toward his.

“Yeah, 'course”. He answers with an incredulous gesture on his face.

“Okay, do you know a food truck close to the hospital, with red and blues stripes?”

“No”.

“Seriously?” You almost scream, breaking into laughs. “You like pizza and you have never tried it before?”

Coco shakes his head, falling in love a little more after hearing your laughter. That simple gesture has made him feel more happy than ever before.

“You're gonna really, really love it”. You say with emotion, moving a hand on air to highlight your words.

“I'm sure”. He chuckles nodding. “You look pretty convinced”.

And you weren't wrong. Maybe not everybody would think that sitting on an edge of a sidewalk, eating pizza, it's the perfect date. But for him, it's the perfect one. He can ask for anything else that hearing you talk for hours about your hobbies, about what you would like to be in five years, about the things the two of you have in common. And he has never talked this much, either. But it's too easy for him to follow the conversation and flow it into another one, until the night falls over the town.

Coco insists on walking with you back to your home, just to be sure that you come safe. And even if he has had so much fun, he's doubting if you would like to repeat it. Maybe at the end you were just trying to be kind with him, because he seemed so desperate for being with you for a couple hours, to not make him feel bad. And maybe that was the reason why you didn't want him to take you home. But the real reason is that your housemates are waiting on the porch for you to tell them how it was. As soon as they see you coming closer, they run into the house ashamed and laughing, making your cheeks burn when Coco notices what is going on.

“Sorry, they're like children…” You say hastily, stopping your steps and placing yourself in front of him.

“It's okay, ma'. My… friends are waiting too”.

Between the two of you gets installed an uncomfortable silence for some seconds, until he sees you holding your bag, looking for something inside it. He breaks into loud laughs when his healthy eyes focus on the heart shaped lollipop, that you're offering him.

“I heard you the day you visited the hospital, so… there's your reward for being a good boy”.

Coco takes it, shaking his head and showing you a funny smile, before catching you between his arms. Embracing you tightly, he places a kiss on your cheek. A lovely one. Pulling himself away, he opens the candy to tuck it into his mouth.

“The best one”. He says tasting the strawberry flavor of it.

“Okay, ah… I have three kids to take care of”. You joke about your friends, pointing at your house for a second. “I had so much fun today…”

“Yeah, me too… We can repe—”.

“I'm free tomorrow”.

Hearing you interrupt him, after realizing that he wants to have another date with you. Taking off the lollipop from his mouth, he leans forward to press your lips with his, shortening the distance between both. Feeling your fingers getting tangled in his shirt give him some pleasant chills, ending up pecking your lips gently.

“What about breakfast? I know a place with the best pancakes”. He proposes then, giving you an eskimo kiss.

“I like it”. You nod, kissing his lips a last time.

“Pick you up at ten?”

“Pick me up at ten”.

“Have a good night, mami”.

“You too, pirate”. Puckering your lips, he laughs again. “Enjoy it, you're gonna see again in a couple months”.

He frowns a little confused, drawing slowly a huge smile on his lips.

“Spoiler of your next doctor appointment”.

“Is tha' why you told me tha' I could teach you?”

Walking backwards to your house, he sees you happily nodding.

“'Am gonna marry you one day, you know'et?”

These words may have been somewhat precipitate, or at least that's what he's thinking until seeing you nod again.

“I hope it”.

“Shit”, he thinks to himself, licking again the lollipop; not leaving your hood until you're inside your house.

[danteinthedevildom]

yes! i hate it when people say belphie doesnt care for mc, this is a personal opinion but i feel like even if we werent related to lilith (and somehow we came to life again) he would be close to us, and try. seeing how the people he cares about the most react to someone he thought was just a human dying would probably push him to get to know MC. i know some people also think and argue that beel sees MC as a replacement for lilith too; but i know 100% he doesnt, he hasnt been able to verbally talk about his sisters passing to anyone, i mean almost right after she died belphie was taken away and beel assumed he was in the human world on "buisness", so for beel to openly talk about lilith with us as much as he does it feels special. i know he sees mc as their own person because of how much hes able to share with us, beel talking with mc about his feelings means hes able to finally move on, not to say that he'll forget about her, but he knows hes ready to finally stop beating himself up for it yk? i feel like people were also conflicted about seeing belphie as someone who cares for mc, especially the 180 he does when he finds out we're liliths relative; but belphie has had so much trauma, seeing the person he loved the most die, being separated from his brothers for years and years, etc. he was locked away with his mental illness for a long time, the anger bottled up and he took it out on mc, of course it explains it but it doesnt excuse it, you can still continue to hate belphie idc but i feel like he loves mc more than the other brothers do because of it, its the same thing with beel, mc allowed both of them to cope and talk to them about their sisters passing, yk?

Honestly the whole of Chapter 16 and associated fallout is p. controversial simply bc of it being us that it happens to; the game's written for us to imprint on the MC, and because of that, some scenes - like Belphie's betrayal and his glee at having killed MC - becomes very, very personal. It's very easy after that to become biased against a character, because there's genuine emotional scarring that we're left with as players that the game then just... fails to acknowledge to its fullest. (Which is why we get so many "MC might have forgiven Belphie but I haven't" fics on AO3.)

But to say that Belphie doesn't care for MC is just. Wrong. And I can def. get your annoyance on that!

He didn't care for MC to begin with, yes; MC was a random human he knew nothing about, a ticket to freedom and the first step into enacting revenge for something he's carried with him for millenia. They didn't matter to him outside of that because he never got to see them - or spend actual time with them - outside of the short visits they could afford to update him on their pact progress. That's undeniable.

But to say that he still doesn't ignores the entire point of the Lilith revelation. Being related to her gives Belphie something to connect with MC over. It gives him a reason to overcome his hatred of humanity and to bond with MC in general - which is selfish, yes, and kind of shitty, true, but so much of Belphie's (admittedly misplaced) anger comes from being a survivor of an incredibly one-sided war and (arguably, in his mind) the reason Lilith died to begin with. Because Beel saved him instead of her.

It's not like any of them were ever given a good way to cope with the trauma of the Fall, or Lilith's death. It's not like any of them even knew her actual fate until Chapter 16. Belphie's way of coping was to become apathetic, and to try and place the blame onto something he could take action against.

To him, that meant humanity. Because she fell in love with a human. Because they'd already fought God and lost, so he wasn't going to get closure there - but maybe ending the cause for her death would help the hurt.

He hated humans because of Lilith. In the realm of good story-telling, the best way to end that hatred is likewise through Lilith. Stories are best when they have that cyclical nature to them - especially since it can then transition into Belphie overcoming his trauma (and Lilith's death) through humanity.

So, yeah; it's a selfish reason to get close to someone, to take back the really horrific thing you were going to do, but all of Belphie's anger stemmed from the Fall and what he perceived as her death. Finding out that she didn't actually die? That she became human - became the very thing he wanted to destroy - and lived out a long life? That she had children, and that her family line is still alive in MC? Of course that's going to stop him dead in his tracks. And of course he's going to want to get close to MC, the last remaining fragment of the sister he's dedicated his entire life post-Fall mourning.

Belphie's an incredibly apathetic character by nature. He doesn't care about a lot of things, and everything he cares about is overshadowed by how much he loves Lilith. He needs that connection to get him out of his natural apathy. He cares about Lilith above all else; he'll care about MC at the drop of a dime if they're anything to do with her.

But that's not a bad thing. It means there's an opportunity for him to genuinely get to know who MC is, in a positive light.

It's an opportunity for him to try and make a connection with MC that simply wouldn't have existed otherwise, and through them, to finally, finally put his memory of Lilith to rest. And he does! He gets to know MC, gets to know why Beel adores them so much - outside of just being "Lilith's descendant" - and ends up loving them for who they are.

He puts his hatred of humanity and his single-minded attachment to Lilith behind him, and he still cares for MC. He wouldn't do this if he'd really not formed some sort of bond with them before that point. If he only cared for them because they're a fragment of Lilith, then they'd mean nothing to him once Lilith wasn't such a fervent part of his daily life.

I think the game's just... really bad at showing that, however. You put it really well when you called it a 180, because in all honesty? The game glosses over it much too quickly, and doesn't do a totally good job explaining the logic behind why he'd change his mind so fast.

There's not enough time spent on allowing MC - and the player - to overcome the emotional wreckage of Chapter 16 + fallout. We're not given the chance to process it before Belphie has, to build up a natural relationship with him that transitions slowly from him seeing MC as a Lilith-connection to him seeing them as their own, defined person. It's way too easy to still be emotionally hung up on it while he seems perfectly fine and dandy.

On your bit abt him overcoming it even without the connection to Lilith - I agree tbh! There is a lot Belphie would do for Beel, and I genuinely think seeing how against him Beel is after killing MC, even if they're brought back to life, would ruin him. Belphie being locked up, trying to convince Beel that he was doing the right thing, only for Beel to disagree with him and show genuine anger/disgust, would knock the world from under his feet. If he thought trying to hurt MC would make him lose Beel too - if Beel pleaded with him to just play nice, because he can't choose between them both, not again - he'd likely (albeit begrudgingly) postpone his intended revenge plot.

And he'd try to stay bitter, and for a long time he likely would - but then he'd see how happy Beel is with MC around, and how much it means to Beel that they seem to get along, and how much Beel opens up to them about Lilith, and he'd start to... reconsider. Just a little. Just a bit. Moment by moment, day by day, until he realises that MC isn't a replacement for Lilith, but that they bring something to the table that the brothers have been missing for a long, long time.

Which would afford Belphie the moment of catharsis; where he finally, on a quiet night, opens up about the Fall. How he felt, how angry he is, how helpless. How much he misses her, how the pain and hurt consumes his every thought. And then the player would get the chance to overcome the emotional strain with Belphie, showing him that his anger shouldn't be aimed at humanity when his Father is the one at fault, and Belphie, very quietly, admitting that they're right.

It could work, and work well. It's just a point of finding - and hitting - the right story beats.

On the topic of Beel - honestly, the concept that he sees MC as a replacement for Lilith is just... I personally couldn't imagine it. I can see how someone else could - being her descendant, the attic sandwich club, their little escapade together once Belphie's back in with the family - but that includes seriously misreading/ignoring a lot of Beel's character arc/development.

Beel talks to MC about Lilith and Belphie way before he knows anything about their relation to her. He sees a lot of her in them, yes - he mentions this a few times, I think, in relation to little things they do - but he also sees a lot of what he wants to be in them - which is best seen in their ability to defend both himself and Luke, which be very subtly compares to his own inability to save both Lilith and Belphie.

To Beel, MC stands as something a little idealised. MC is everything good he saw in Lilith (as well as some of the things he loves most about Belphie), and everything he wishes he could have been. MC is a reason to be better, stronger, more capable - both so he can protect them the way they protect others, and so he can feel as if he's on their level.

But that doesn't mean he sees them as a replacement to the people he's lost. It's arguable that he's projecting, sure, I'll admit that; he sees things he misses most of the people he's lost in MC, and I'm sure forming a bond with them helped him cope while he was without Belphie. But MC is still always MC to him. They're always still their own person, and someone he cares for because of that fact.

Beel cares too much about his family to replace them with someone else. Lilith meant too much to him as a person for him to look at MC and actually see Lilith. He misses her, not the idea of her. He feels guilt that he couldn't save her. His trauma revolves almost entirely around the failure of (self imposed) duty and the subsequent loss of life. His Survivor's Guilt is the main reason Beel can't put her memory to rest - because he's constantly haunted by the thought that he could have saved her.

His trauma, the way it is, does not create a setting where he would believably see MC as a replacement for Lilith. He's all too aware that she's gone. He's all too aware that he lost something he can never get back that day. Her memory is special to him, and being unable to talk about her hurts him because that's a bit like killing her off for good.

MC can't replace Lilith, even being Lilith's descendant, and I genuinely can't believe that Beel would even want them to. He's so defensive over Belphie and Lilith, even just over the memory of them; to suggest that MC could replace one of them I feel would anger him more than anything. Not only because it's an insult to Lilith, but because it's an insult to the person MC is. To the person Beel admires.

With just how much he cares about Lilith, I think Beel's enhanced attachment to MC is more the steadfast defence of her lineage to make up for what he couldn't do for her. He still sees MC as their own person, it's just that now... now he has a chance to make up for what he failed at before. And bit by bit, he can learn to forgive himself. Can learn to stop blaming himself for something that was never his fault to begin with.

Belphie and Beel have a special relationship with MC because MC is a direct link to Lilith that helps them overcome their individual Lilith-related traumas. They're naturally going to be closer to MC due to this, yeah, but that's... not the only reason they're close to MC. To try and push down everything they feel and do with MC to "it's only because MC is Lilith's descendant" is to. Well. A) make an incredibly unsatisfying story and character development, but also B) completely ignore that MC helps them bury the memory Lilith. MC helps them move on. Their care and love for MC is what helps them finally let go - to stop living in the past, in hurt, and to finally take a step forward to a future without the weight of Lilith's death constantly burdening them.

Like. If Solmare had just spend a little more time on these two, that might be clearer. Because it's definitely there! And it's why I love Belphie and Beel so, so much. But it's also fully understandable why some players still really dislike Belphie, or why they're not convinced that Belphie/Beel see MC as anything outside of Lilith, bc the game does kind of fail on that a little by rushing a bit too much. Just. Aagh!! You know?

I could honestly go on abt them for hours. So I should prolly stop here before I go on too long adfgh.

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖