#yes this is because i am a chubby girl and highly relate to her

[agentcooperownsmyass]

not trying to self insert but blue seems like a chubby girl. idk why exactly(i actually do know) she just has chubby girl energy.

[sugar-petals]

Hav u done predictive readings for who the boys will end up with & how their career will go etc?

a 2020 career prediction i’ll publish at the end of december! their future partner we’re doing now. i added some angel oracle cards today ♡ those describe the theme of their relationship.

Jungkook: QUEEN OF CUPS

Hallelujah! Oh yeah. That’s an ideal card, picture perfect. The Queen of Cups is quite possibly one of the best partner allegories to have because a) Cups rule smoothness of relationships and emotions and b) she’s a royal card which indicates a highly developed state of mind where things finally come to fruition unlike with the aces and pages. Jungkook will mean so, so much to his partner. That’s a twin flame or soulmate connection we’re talking here. A really beautiful and dignified person, a little touchy feely, but experienced with love. They can really depend on another. Maybe they’re from Busan like him or the shore generally, the sea plays an important role for the Queen of Cups. There are tiny little cherubs on the card, I’m thinking he’ll be treated like an angel. It’s a very healthy relationship that leaves nothing left to be desired. As for looks: It might be a blonde, taller person whose favorite color is blue. There are cliffs on the card that remind me of Cornwall’s coast. The English theme is pretty consistent in his readings lmao we’re dealing with an excellent speaker. And, because it’s a court card with quite abundant imagery, it’ll be a S/O of quite some status. I am sure the person will be known to us already, or at least a big deal within his or her family. It’s queen energy, so the mom friend is right on their way into JK’s heart. Another aspect is that his partner might be rather spiritually inclined — mind you, every person is spiritual, how aware you are makes the difference — or even psychic. Water signs ahead; Pisces, Scorpio, Cancer.

— angel card: “Playfulness — To bring about romantic feelings, allow your youthfulness to shine with delight.”

Taehyung: THE EMPRESS

Yet another powerful female archetype, this reading does not mince words.  And also a very wholesome outlook, it’s very similar to the Queen of Cups vibe, or Queen of Pentacles if we’re looking at other tarot suits. I was really happy when I saw this card come out. The Empress almost always signifies kids, the theme is fertility. Taehyung will live a very lavish life with this partner. The card has so much opulence and positivity on it. Nature, food, pillows, ample garments, jewelry, good weather, and harvest time. And, of course, the Empress is fairly curvy, so expect either Taehyung gaining weight in the future or his partner being chubby. It’ll be the good life, in a good place, with the right person. There’s a settled and satiated feeling there. Stagnation could be possible after a while because this card gets too cozy. However, loyalty and a ripe sexual life are like glue to the union so I don’t see Taehyung stress anytime soon there. The card gives me plenty of clues how his home will look like as well, it’s highly decorated and comfortable. Interestingly enough, we see a huge wheat field surrounding the Empress — hence the card symbolizes fertility — so I wonder whether Taehyung’s dream of getting involved in farming will play out. I mean… coincidence? The countryside will take on an important role in any case, maybe with photography as well. Tae marrying a farmer’s girl, who knows! Beautiful card, definitely. It’s a good prospect for him. The Empress is major arcana so, this state of happiness will last him for a giant while and it’s destined. The boy will shed a tear no more. 

— angel card: “Attraction — you receive love by enjoying the moment.”

Yoongi: KNIGHT OF SWORDS

It’s the fastest card of the tarot! The power of swords paired with a knight on his speedy horse is quite a combination. Yoongi’s future partner is not going to waste time to charge right into sweet honey boy’s life. We’re dealing with a hothead, athlete, extrovert. I don’t think Yoongi has to do as much as crook a single finger to get things going. In fact, he’s the one waiting it out. He’ll just lean back and poof there is his significant other bursting into his life. Though I gotta say, the Knight of Swords has a detriment and that is: He leaves as fast as he arrives, and you have to be sure of your boudaries. Major burnout dangers there. The relationship might be short compared to say Namjoon’s or Tae’s reading. It’s Yoongi’s part to make this last if that’s what he’s going for. It’s a sword card, there have to be efforts and mental clarity involved to solve the problem. Though, someone rushing towards their love interest with so much passion has a good reason why he or she does that. Yoongi could get snatched away by someone else, with so many people interested in him you really have to be determined. With the archetype being a knight I also know it’s going to be someone younger than him, there’s a certain rebellion to the card. It has military energy. Yoongi’s partner will be one outrageous and direct person. They are 100% unafraid to face off with Yoongi, they have better comebacks than the master of sharp remarks himself. When it comes to sex, Yoongi will probably forget his own damn name after that ride. This person is wild as hell. It’s not a fellow sleepyhead as we saw in the ideal type reading, but a S/O bringing him out of his dreamy world. There’s a strong encouragement for Yoongi to achieve a lot more when he enters that relationship, it’s a power up to be expected here.

— angel card: “Worth the Wait — Divine timing predicates your relationship.”

Namjoon: TEN OF PENTACLES

Nice! Wow. The tarot says Namjoon is blessed. This is the card of wealthy, happy old age. He’s headed right for it already. In all tarot suits, the 10 indicates fulfillment. E.g. the Ten of Cups shows relationship completion because cups stand for love, the Ten of Swords shows total defeat because swords symbolize conflict, the Ten of Wands signifies complete effort/exhaustion since wands represent impetus. So the Ten of Pentacles equals coming full circle in terms of material things as pentacles are responsible for all tangible value in life. He’ll be living blissfully with his S/O. Everything is cared for. We’re talking long-term relationship here. The card shows an old man settled in his favorite coat and spot. Namjoon has a kind of master plan to gently arrive in his 80s, 90s. It’s not a surprise, we know he looks ahead, the tarot is aware of it, too. And yes: He will finally be able to answer his question “Who the hell am I?”. Ten of Pentacles means: Identity found. I had to wipe away a tear for that one man. I think it has to do with the location. The setting of the card is like a polished type of town with castles. A bit Italian, Mediterranean. Not as modern as say Seoul, bigger cities. It could be him moving to a warm country where things are slow, antique, and indulgent. I once said Namjoon has a type of European mindset going on, if he moves there it with his loved one or his partner is European it wouldn’t be shocking. There are two dogs on the card so, Joon will have pets involved in the partnership. The 10 of Coins also shows a couple immersed in a chat. His S/O is primarily someone he can talk to about the world, it’s a very conversation-heavy union. Now, the old man on the card could also show that he finds another old soul— we’ve had that topic come up in the other readings as well, the tarot is sure he’ll meet someone on par. Earth sign energy here.

— angel card: “Love Without Fear — Open your heart to give and receive the highest of energies.”

Hobi: THREE OF PENTACLES

Even more pentacles. Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn is possible. His partner is a darn good team player, their friendship bond is strong. First thing that came to my mind, they’ll build a house together or get busy working around their home in some kind of way, that’s interestingly enough the central theme I get from the card. Distribution of chores and general tasks is a big thing, and they’ll be planning a gazillion industrious things from what I got through the imagery. There’s an abbot, architect/craftsman, and monk seen on that card working on a church wall embellishment. One gives directions, the other has drawn a sketch that illustrates what kind of decor the abbot wants to have on the church wall, and the third guy does the crafting, hammer and chisel in hand. It’s not a love-related card per see so it’s important to point that out. It could hint at some pretty huge artistic collaborations coming our way instead. If you combine that, it could happen in a way like… Hoseok gets with someone he collaborated/collaborates with sometime soon, or a little later. Yup. Chicken noodle soup with Becky G on the side! Their chemistry is amazing and she is so cute, it’s very much possible. Or, in a wider sense, it’s someone from an upcoming project. That’s interesting. It seems quite sure that Hoseok won’t retire after BTS even if he’s pretty damn rich already, he’ll stay in the industry and foster (=embellish) his career with a strategy behind it much like the abbot on the card. We’ll get to know his partnership(s) along the way, but the tarot says it’s not top priority. Pentacles are earth sign energy so Mercury, Saturn and Venus are what will dictate that union, it’s the overall pragmatic energy that’s taking center spot. Also, since the church is so prominent on the card, Hoseok is working towards marriage nine times out of ten. 

— angel card: “Fresh Love — A new person has stirred your romantic feelings.”

Jimin: FIVE OF SWORDS

That one is… sigh. The odd one out in this post. How do I put it. It’s a series that just doesn’t break. Jimin constantly gets the messy cards and not so love-friendly swords when I do relationship readings on him. There is something going on and I kind of hate it already. But the tarot is being adamant so we have to decipher what’s going on and see the resolution, there’s more to it than just the cards doing him dirty. The Five of Swords pictures a battle aftermath with a mischievous winner and two defeated parties walking away sore. The winner picks up the weapons left behind to hoard then. So when it comes to his future S/O, we’re talking someone wants to play win-lose with Jimin’s insecurities and will get away with it because they’re strong, sly, and full of themselves. They don’t have his best interests in mind, especially when quarrels go down. Lack of harmony overshadows the relationship. There’s some major bullshit and that’s scary. The partner is like a leech, leaving only Jimin pissed, it’s not a lose-lose situation, things are wholly unequal. Picking on Jimin leaves their ego inflated and intensifies resentment. Working against each other over working with another is going on. Jimin has to walk away from that situation and mend his wounds, and never return. It’ll be a period of growth in his life ahead where he becomes aware just how giving too much and being defeated by that does him no good, as well as learning how to spot douchebags who don’t care about him. The Five of Swords is among the quintessential breakup card, it’ll be what defines his future relationship unless or until he has the grit to stop the fight and search for equity and affection instead of put-downs.

— angel card: “You Deserve Being Loved — You’re worthy of love.”

Jin: SIX OF PENTACLES

Pentacles, pentacles everywhere. I see that the hyungs have some financial themes going on, Jin’s card is emblematic of that. First let’s have a look what’s going on with the imagery. A wealthy man holds a scale on this card. He distributes coins to poor men kneeling before him. It’s an interesting symbol for a relationship, if not for another more important area of Jin’s life which could very well be philanthropy. He is the wealthy man on the card, sharing in just ways as the scale indicates. That could be providing for his partner a lot or simply doing charity together with them. I do have to say, and that is similar to Hoseok’s card, I don’t see too much of a romantic theme here which is surprising, but the tarot knows its ways. Some members might be doing partnerships much later in life or eschew them. With Jin here, I get a sense that business relations and deals will be an overarching theme in the near future. It could be the situation with his dad’s business in Germany the card is hinting at, and if marriage is involved, there’s a major exchange of valuable ideals and things involved between parties. A recurring theme is class difference though, the same popped up in the last reading. Jin’s status will be much, much higher but he can tip things into balance with a fairness mindset, Libra energy. A huge gap will be bridged. Last but not least, mea culpa: I think I’ve been missing the obvious interpretation there. The signs are everywhere in the cards for his readings, and oh my god: Jin is the member who’ll get together with a fan. 

— angel card: “Children — Kids will have an influence on your love life.”

[solastia]

Day 5

Feel So Right, Yoongi x Reader, 3/? Chapters, 5.8 K words so far, mention of Domestic Abuse

Ok, so I was trying to hold off on writing about this one, but like...I have no self control, hehehehe. It kept calling my name and I said fuck it, I’mma read it again right freaking now. 

If anyone, ANYONE, comes at me for liking this fic because it’s a cliche Knight in Shining Armor fic, I will punch you in the throat! Let me live in my beautiful, rose tinted delusion. Thanks!!! And if I ever feel the need to be rescued by a man, please believe I’mma let it be Yoongi. 

Ok, let’s start with some extremely endearing details I just freaking love in this fic. Yoongi ruffling his hair early in the morning, wearing Iron Man jammies, the MC’s Bulbasaur slippers, and ofc the fact that the chubby pug in the story it PoTAEto. I know it’s not written that way in the story, but that’s how my mind read it. :D

UUGH HOW CUTE CAN THEY BE?!?!

Ok, let’s get into this beauty!

Warning to anyone reading this, there are mentions of domestic abuse, please skip this if it bothers you.

“She was sporting a few bruises that she must have gotten during the move, making him wonder why she didn’t have help.” 

I’m ready to throw down. This ONE statement coupled with an earlier one about screaming...GURL I am ready to throw down for our MC. We don’t even really know her yet and I’m ready to throw hands for her. We know where this is going! You are able to very quickly have the audience rooting for our MC. Amazing!

Ok, our MC’s “man”. Talk about wanting to punch people in the throat. You could feel her light diminish the instant he walked in. And Yoongi was ready to throw down too! Bless his heart. AHHHH and now for chapter 2…

Our mans Yoongi over there being able to gauge our MC’s mood by what she’s playing on her guitar :D 

Someone is smitten!!!

And I have to ask, that one comment about our MC liking the Chainsmokers and Yoongi  being “highly offended”. This was before our boys collabed with them, right? Any comments about this line? Lol

The banter between our MC and Yoongi is so freaking sweet. His comments still have a little bit of bite to them, because it’s Yoongi of course. But you can see that it’s all playful, and she reciprocates. It’s so freaking sweet and cute AHHHHH!

“Yoongi snorts and brings two heaping bowls of stew to the table, purposely ignoring the giant wedding photo above it. He’d already inspected it a few too many times; his wayward imagination often envisioning himself next to the beaming beauty draped in ivory lace.”

YOONGI...my man...maybe you’re waay past smitten. Dayum our boy has fallen hard in just a few months!

“He smiles softly as she enthusiastically eats the food he made, every now and then releasing a pleased moan that made his pants feel a little tight.”

:]

I’mma just leave that right there. Enough said, really.

“She quirks her eyebrow and waves to signal ‘go on you slow asshole.’”

OUR GIRL HAS BITE TOO! YESSS! I love female characters who are complex like this. She has a personality! She’s funny, sweet, smart, and cute! You flesh her out with just a few descriptions and lines. Something you do very well! Do you plan all this out in advance, or do you just wing it?? I’m curious!

“As they enjoy their dessert together, Y/N spends the time asking about the song and trying to get a feel for the emotions behind it so she would know how to play. Yoongi did his best, describing the sense of melancholy and wonderment behind the words without giving himself away. Words of adoration and every other emo emotion that Yoongi felt poured onto paper. 

Words about her.”

Just like...kill me now. I cry. I CRY.

Wow, our boy is a goner, waxing poetically about her skill, her smile, her scent. Your descriptions are gorgeous. Madam...are you the reason I now have a double bias??? (Please don’t tell Jimin, it would crush him lol) 

“It was against his very nature not to speak up over some injustice he saw.” Why you gotta make him so damn perfect!?!?!

“Your nose has gone all scrunchy. You’re either hungry or you need a nap. Maybe both,” she giggled as she exited the booth and sat at his desk.”

AAAAHHH SHE ALREADY KNOWS HIM SO WELL. Gurl, throw that pile of garbage to the curb, you got a whole Yoongi pinning over you!

“I’ve never even been allowed to work before” This hit me hard! She has become completely dependent on that asshole husband, and he did that shit on purpose. Do you understand the implications of all of this ( I mean, I know you do, but do the readers realize it?!?). IF Yoongi makes his move and she reciprocates his feelings, she’s going to be apprehensive about becoming dependent on another man. Poor Yoongi, he’s already in deep and IF she leaves him, she’s going to need time to heal. But I hope she gets a taste of Yoongi dick before that happens. I’M JUST SAYING SHE DESERVES SOME GOOD LOVIN BEFORE TAKING TIME FOR HERSELF.

“You make me want so many things I shouldn’t, Yoongi.”

YES GURL, GET ITTTT!!!!

“Fuck, you have no idea how much I want you. I know I shouldn’t, and I try to fight it. I would treat you so well, baby. So gentle. Give you the whole world and the only marks would be from my lips.”

Yoongi….I’m right here. I am literally ready for the taking, come get your girl!

“The first time I make love to you, it’s going to be while we’re both sober and in my bed where I can take my time”

I literally cannot be more in love with this man. 

“I’ll be here if you want me to be”

Do y’all see what he’s doing?? He’s telling her that he’d be there for her, but it would be under her terms. He is giving her the power! He’s saying that he’ll back away if she wants him to. HE SAID FUCK YOUR TOXIC MASCULINITY. This is how you win a girl over!

Ok, I am emotionally exhausted, but I love it!!!

I don’t even know what to think about what’s to come for this fic because I feel it’s going to HURT! Can I ask for a happy ending please? They don’t have to end up together, but I need them to be happy in the end!

Until next time!

💜💜💜 Puppee Anon 

*Potato the pug is a real boy. My pug’s name is Potato, and yes, I usually call him Tae.

*I did write this before the Chainsmoker’s collab. This has happened a few times where I write about something and then something related happens with BTS and I’m starting to get concerned lmao. But I did fully enjoy how obvious it was that Yoongi didn’t like dealing with them at all.

*It IS going to have a happy ending. I think this story only has one full chapter left and an epilogue. I’ll get to it soon 😘

[vegils]

im... a sucker 4 surveys hey!!!

1: What is your name and does it mean anything?

marinella, someone told me it means “traveller” but i highly doubt that i like the break down of my name more marina, meaning “of the sea” and ella for “guiding light”

2: How long have you known your best friend? 

my best friend sweetlana!!! been my good friend!!! for 7 DANG YEARS!!! 

3: What position do you normally sleep in? 

i sleep in fetal/yearning position and i think the description of the personalities that sleep in fetal/yearning position is very accurate

4: Were you a part of any “clique” in high school?

mmm i hung out with a lot of different people in high school i went through several cliques in the span of my four years i hung out with “popular” people, artsy groups, anime nerds, and drama people

5: Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why? 

my biggest inspiration was my speech and drama teacher!! i love u miss macuha!!! one time i was crying about her leaving and she grabbed me by the shoulders and told me to never back down and keep doing what i’m doing and that some day i’ll be a great performer and i bawled on her lap she’s an angel and to this day her words still haunt me!! i never felt the reward a teacher reaped from seeing a student reach their full potential

6: Do you wish to travel a lot?

because im so young i do think about travelling a lot but it makes me sad to think about never being able to travel and i have gone to places but i wish i could see other grander countries i never had the opportunity to see

7: Did you participate in any sports while in school?

um...... i played badminton lmao 

8: Show a sample of your handwriting:

how tho

9: Have you ever given blood?

apparently if ur anemic or have history of anemia then u can’t donate blood which makes me sad if i could i would!!!

10: Do you like the way that you grew up?

besides all the fun i had i wish i grew up more confident i am a very doubtful person and i grew up in a pretty hostile home and it felt very scattered and broken to me and i just wish those situations were different, other than that i think i am lucky to grow up ok

11: Do you like your siblings? Why or why not?

i like all of my sisters but they can get very frustrating at times i think we stand better now than we did as kids

12: How did you meet your best friend and why did you become friends?

i met sweetlana on the strokes tumblr tinychat back when they had a roaring fandom and we discovered that we’re both from chicago and we’d talk about silly things and we lost touch for a while but then we reconnected and she’s so darling!!! she would show me her paintings of the blues brothers and we’d talk about our hopes and wishes and now i realize we’ve been doing that for 7 years!!! all we do is exchange selfies and drawings and fantasize about crushes !!!i love her! i can’t imagine not knowing her and never meeting her!

13: Name one movie that made you cry.

my girl.......... shit dude

14: Do you prefer to read poetry, write poetry, or neither?

i’m not poetic but i like to HEAR poetry i love hearing the delivery 

15: Things about someone that you find attractive?

i love people who are kind and thoughtful which is rly generic i also love the funny it doesn’t even have to be calculated jokes it can just be the way you said something or a facial expression i like people who manage to share a language with me that can’t be figured out by other people i think having a connection to a person where you can read each others minds can b creepy but also cool cuz u hang out w them so often that you can basically understand each other without much effort 

16: What song are you currently listening to now?

year of the rabbit by eskimeaux

17: Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how?

nope 

18: A random memory from you childhood:

going to chinatown and racing to the chinese zodiac signs and climbing up the stairs with my sisters, getting sponge cake and walking around the old sanrio store pointing out what i want

19: Where did you grow up? chicago 

20: What was the last thing you watched on tv?

lmao we’re watching 13RW and its not for everyone but i read the book and im v invested

21: Do you think you’d make a good parent?

really!! hope id be! i mean i am cool with or without having kids but i want to be a good parent

22: Would you like to meet any of your Tumblr friends in person?

i already met some of my tumblr friends!! i met sweetlana and coney!!! i would like to meet @iamonmy-way when will i meet u!!! 

22: What was the last dream you remember having?

my phone was hacked and it looked like internet explorer on my iphone and my cousin tried to retrieve back to normal by playing against my hacker on a boss battle level of mario

23: When is your birthday?

june 2 :---)

24: How many pillows do you sleep with? 

2 and 1 reading pillow ^_^

25: Do you wear glasses? If so, how long have you been wearing glasses?

i’ve been wearing eye glasses since i was 6 and i’m 21 now so u do the math bud

26: What color is your hair?

black/brown

27: Name 5 facts about your appearance:

ive been told i have a nice complexion, small mouth, chubby cheeks, small hands and long torso

28: What is your favorite soda?

cream.. soda... i need to go to Hell

29: What is a strange talent that you have?

reading peoples moods online lmao 

30: How’s the weather right now?

a cool and calming evening 

31: Why did one of your friendships end?

this question makes me sad lmao

32: Who do you miss right now?

oops i can’t reveal who or what or when but i am missing someone

33: Why did your last relationship end?

because i realized i don’t like them that much and that i don’t understand dating I AM A VERY CONFUSED PERSON when i reflect on dating i realize i hate it so much but also crave it but when i have it i’m very repulsed

34: Are you still figuring out who you are? 

yes!!! i am frustrated at myself because i don’t know who i am or what i want and i feel like it has set me back so much that i’m stagnant 

35: Have you ever been admitted to a hospital? Why? 

ya i had dengue fever and it was probably the most concerned i’ve seen my parents with me

36: What is your favorite restaurant?

pastaria!!! in st louis!! it’s so good!

37: What is word that you always seem to spell wrong?

privilege 

38: Would ever adopt kids?

not against the idea of adopting children!!! 

39: What is your favorite kind of pizza?

i like spinach on my pizza

40: What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why is it so dreadful to find yourself in bed with a whole day ahead of you

41: When was the last time you got really really happy and why? 

um!!! my crush!!! k*rt !!! when we played the game!! and they were teasing and attacking me during the game! ah!!! 

42: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

defo dinuguan (pigs blood stew)!! i dont recommend!! i just dip my puto in the sauce and call it a day! not a laman fan! 

43: How do you start a conversation?

i tell them something embarrassing that’s also relateable and revealing and hope they find me somebody to be comfortable around!!!

44: What’s a band you’ve been obsessed with lately?

i hate answering this....... but joji........

45: Do you come from a family “of money?”

nah dude

46: Do you have a bucket list?

i think that’s what my life was missing tbh

47: What is your favorite series of books?

i don’t know i haven’t read a series of books in quite a long time i think i pretended to like percy jackson in high school lmao and i was such a nerd for hunger games but i don’t think anything could replace my deepest love for series of unfortunate events, the boxcar children, judy moody, and horrible harry! ooh! and amelia bedelia!!!

48: When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt?

i laughed rly hard last night cause patrick was so invested in 13 reasons why and my sister n i kept asking 4 justice 4 zach dempsey and patrick threw a pillow at me for saying that what zach did was severe in hannah’s eyes

49: Where do you go when you’re sad?

i slip into bed and silently cry or if i don’t need that i cry in the shower ahhh how pathetic

50: 5 random facts about yourself:

i actually am rly good at acting and i don’t think anybody but high school and college ppl know this, i’m painfully shy, i don’t like mayo!! all of my goldfish in the past have all been named variations of “Freddy” and !!! i am rly good at stitch (from disney’s lilo and stitch) impressions

[justanoldsoutherngirl]

Insatiable...or as I like to call it “life in the south”

I watched the Netflix series Insatiable last week. And rewatched it again this week..Ok, maybe not watched...inhaled might be a better word. I have never had Netflix and decided that since my friend, Bill Alverson was the Producer and it had Alyssa Milano in it I really needed to see it. After all, I have always loved Bill’s wicked sense of humor and his flair for the dramatic; and Alyssa, well during my Charmed years I could relate to her, and her relationship with Cole (who hasn’t fallen in love with a very bad boy). And I watched it because there were critiques online saying it was fat shaming...so of course, being a chubby southern girl I decided to see what was up. 

  I started watching the first episode and immediately thought, this is what it would be like if Hairspray, and Pretty in Pink, met up with Desperate Housewives, and then they all meet up with Dark of the Moon, and they all join Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, in THE SOUTH! What’s not to love about it? First, Patty (Fatty Patty played by Debby Ryan, from THE SOUTH) gets in a fight with a drunk guy outside a convenience store after he insults her and tries to take her candy bar. OK...been there done that. Do not get in the way of me and my Peanut Butter Cups or Three Musketeers! I will hit you! And, of course, due to the fight, her jaw is wired shut and of course she loses weight, and of course becomes a hottie. Actually, yeah...this makes sense right? Girls disappear over the summer and sometimes all of a sudden become hotties, usually due to hormones and not having their jaw wired shut. Those of us who never managed to actually have this particularly special summer, well...we were super jealous of those that did! 

In comes Bob Armstrong, a lawyer who does pageant coaching on the side (or who used to. That is another whole story and I won’t ruin the series for you!). But clearly having grown up with Bill, Bob is Bill...and Dallas Roberts (another cast member from THE SOUTH) is PERFECT! You may remember Dallas from Walk the Line as Sam Phillips, or Dallas Buyers Club as David Wayne (as Ron Woodruff’s defense attorney), or in The Walking Dead as Milton Mamet. Frankly, in Insatiable, Dallas reminds me of Bill and a very young John Ritter (drool). 

Bob Armstrong is married to Coralee Huggens-Armstrong played by Alyssa Milano (who has too many films/shows to mention!) and while not from the south has a great southern accent (Brooklyn, the coastal south...not too far away really due to the drawl and the non-rhoticity!). Coralee is the epitome of the white-trash southern trailer park girl gone gorgeous/wealthy and trying to become a member of the Junior League. Growing up in the south there were quite a few of those. 

As a former member of a Junior League (yep...it is pretty funny to realize that I was in a Junior League and have the paper to prove it!), I will never forget a member insulting me and saying that I shouldn’t be in there (she was later charged with embezzlement). A dear friend told her, “well...you gotta remember her momma and her aunt were in it, and her aunt was the President. So she stays!” 

I digress...the fat shaming is at the very least, low on the priority list in Insatiable. The south has this very dichotomous relationship with food...we insist you eat, eat, eat...think Jewish mother stereotype, and then at the same time try to get you, especially as a female, to maintain your weight and appearance. I don’t feel like it is fat shaming, it is the south. Hell, we are brutal on people who are too skinny too! In other words, we can be equal opportunity offenders of pretty much anyone or anything. To me Insatiable actually brings all of these offenses out and puts them on display!

Such also is the whole religion crazy Miss Magic Jesus Pageant...reminiscent of a scene in Drop Dead Gorgeous with Denise Richards, dancing with a Jesus Crucifix statue singing, Can’t take my eyes off of you. Oh and let’s just say that DDG was highly acclaimed during its debut!

  Clearly some are getting that this is a pure campy fun time! Daniel Schroeder recently wrote a piece on Slate “What all the critics misunderstand about Netflix’s Insatiable.” [https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/08/insatiable-netflix-review-critics-are-missing-its-camp-sensibility.html]. Lea Palmieri (@littleleap) agrees that the series tells you they are upfront, in the first few minutes and you can decide whether to stream or skip (she suggest streaming!). But, it is also clear that some are stomping on the series without having even watched it. Melissa Barnhart of Christian Post writes, Patty is called into Pastor Mike’s office (Michael Ian Black) with her father…yeah, it is Bob Anderson not her “father,” and Ms. Barnhart also notes the sexual connotations of a song during the Magic Jesus Pageant. Honestly? How is this any different from a “father-daughter” dance or virginity pledge ceremony? Are these also a little too crazy as well? Moreover, as a college professor I would give Ms. Barnhart an “F” for critical analysis of the film simply for not following the story line and understanding the characters!

  And seriously people….for News Busters to comment on Bob’s effeminate behavior is pretty damming and shows their bias/discrimination toward gay men and toward effeminate heterosexual men as well! Bullying? Yeah. Many of us who grew up in the church in the Deep South know that our plays and musicals would totally suck if it weren’t for gay men in the church making sure that the sets were gorgeous, the costumes were appropriate, and the songs were perfected.

  From a sociological standpoint there are numerous other topics covered. Why is no one talking about Dixie (an adopted child)? How Patty manipulates her best friend? Suicide? Oh yes…so many people were so angry over 13 Reasons Why instead of actually having conversations about suicide prevention. Coming out? Another reason why this show is terrific! Characters are coming out and embracing who they are…Nonnie, Bob, and the other Bob. In a way, even Coralee comes out, as white-trash…hello? Yeah…someone will be pissed I used the term white-trash. Whatever! Bullying? Revenge? Absolutely! Who hasn’t wanted to get revenge on people who made our lives miserable? And, sometimes we actually have a chance and we don’t take it because of social norm expectations! But, sometimes we do, “Bless her heart.”

  This show is about life_ real life_ very messy, funny, crazy, presentation of life. I am also reminded of Goffman’s dramaturgical theory, of Berger & Luckmann’s Social Construction of Reality, as well as the Aristotelian mimesis of art imitates life, and Oscar Wilde’s anti-mimesis of “life imitating art more than art imitating life.” Insatiable does a much better job at real life than soap operas (like Luke and Laura were living a real existence?). 

You go Lauren Gussis for making the characters come to life...all of them. BULLYING HAS CONSEQUENCES and I truly believe this show brings that out in one of the funniest ways possible. Revenge is sweet...well sometimes it is sweet. And one friend told me “after I heard Patty say, ‘screw those bitches’ I was HOOKED!” Nice Deep South Southern Girl who goes to church agrees...and is hooked!

  Critique it if you must, but you are missing life_ real life_ in all of its messiness. As my friend Paul Odom and I agree, we saw a lot of real life intertwined within the series, and recognized storylines that could parallel within our own growing up in the Deep South in a small town in junior high and high school.

  #IheartInsatiable #reallifeismessy #growingupintheDeepSouth #highschoolangst #sociologythemesinNetflix #cantwaitforInsatiableSeason2