#yes this is about selling sunset and emily in paris
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loverbobby · 2 months ago
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the trend of the mean girl ruining everything MC touches in games lately needs to stop, why are you, the developers, setting up our characters to be bullied for the plot every single episode. drama doesn’t always equal good writing
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sickenoughsteve · 4 years ago
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Each Month of the Pandemic’s Biggest TV Show and What it Says About That Point in the Pandemic
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As human beings, we were designed to consume content. Nothing more, nothing less. 
Don’t let anyone lie to you and try to claim we once went outdoors. It’s not true. We didn’t. We belong indoors with no friends, watching shows. These are simple facts, my friends. I hate to break it to you if this is news to you. But I will say, you are a little naive.
Do you remember March 2020? Oh my goodness, what a time that was. The pandemic had just kicked off, we were told we’d be able to work from home (or WFH, if you don’t have time to write the whole thing out) for maybe a week or two while this “whole virus thing” blew over. 
No direction whatsoever from the government or our leaders. Just a general “we gon be aight” Kendrick Lamar type vibe. 
Trump was saying it was the flu! I’ve had that. That’s nothing. Coughing is not that bad. “Oh shit, people are dying, though?” we gasped. Oh well, let’s just not think about it!
Everything was novel and exciting! “This is so cool,” we all thought. “My first pandemic. Let’s goooo!” exclaimed the masses.
In March we were introduced to perhaps the wackiest show of the whole Demic, but an undeniably PERFECT way to kick us into this new life we now all know far too well...
Tiger King (March - Netflix)
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This show had everything we possibly could’ve asked for to get us started. LGBT representation, tigers, white on white crime, multiple subplots, Shaquille O’Neal, and a woman who murdered her husband and got away with it. Nice!
We had no idea where this year would take us... the rock bottom many of us would hit, the loneliness, the despair. But we got to see what wacky ass motherfuckers in Oklahoma do with their time and it was just as absurd as we thought it would be.
A truly great start. Which leads nicely to our next month...
The Last Dance (April - ESPN/Netflix)
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From the GOAT of Tigers to the GOAT of basketball, both of which are assholes, we have The Last Dance. This show was basically Michael Jordan’s chance to further prove he’s a dick.
We all loved it!
Keep in mind, there were no sports being played at this time. We were all desperate for ANY kind of action, even NBA footage from the 90s. 
Perfect timing for a self congratulatory documentary on stuff we already kind of knew about. Lots of memes came from it. Scottie Pippen being vastly underpaid came to light. Just generally, a nice way to continue easing into lockdown. Nicely done, MJ. 
Too Hot to Handle (May-ish - Netflix)
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I know what you’re thinking. Yes, a show about horniness did make the cut. 
This was more April than May, but it’s on Netflix so it’s hard to really say. This was a show about trying to not have sex on an island of hot people with a monetary prize arbitrarily made up on the fly by the show’s producers!
Perfect. By now, none of us were having ANYthing even remotely resembling sex, and if we were it was with... our partner? Ugh!
Another perfect show for this time of the year.
I May Destroy You (June - HBO)
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I’d venture to say, by this time in lockdown, I was more interested in trying to find a show I actually thought was good, rather than continuing to tarnish my brain with filth.
This show and Michaela Coel are both actually very good, to the point where I can’t really even make a joke here.
Good show, right as we needed it, being locked in our apartments for the fourth straight month.
Dating Around (July - Netflix)
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Also difficult to determine whether this was in July. But again, we were not dating so the idea of not only dating but dating AROUND was pretty fucking compelling.
If you’ve seen the show, you know how toxic the photo I chose is, and I’m sorry for giving you PTSD. 
I will admit I watched the entire show as well as the Brazilian spinoff. Absolute banger.
Selling Sunset (August - Netflix)
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Came for the drama, stayed for the unbelievable homes and weirdly subtle moments of humanity.
“Bald, short, rich twin brothers who also happen to be real estate tycoons? Ok... I don’t think this show is for me.” -Everyone, before watching Selling Sunset.
“OK, I get it” - Those same people 15 minutes into episode 1.
This show has multiple seasons but you can literally watch any episode and kind of figure out what’s going on.
Perfect background noise, which at this point in the Demic, we desperately needed.
Ted Lasso (September - Apple TV+)
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At a time that desperately required wholesome goodness, Ted Lasso more than delivered.
I’d argue one of the most slept-on post-SNL careers belongs to Jason Sudeikis. We’re the Millers is an iconic film, deserving of an Oscar (or two) but nobody is ready for that conversation.
This was by far the most important release from Apple TV+ (I think that’s what it’s called). Also disclaimer for those of you who hate sports... it has very little sportage, if that’s a word. But yeah, not too many sports! Don’t worry!
Emily in Paris (October - Netflix)
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So, without namedropping (because I’m not tacky) the star of this show went to my high school. Therefore, how could I not include it?
Don’t say “weird flex, but ok” to me. It’s not that weird of a flex. Her career is taking off! I like being able to say I knew her before! Sorry!
An undeniably silly and not very good show, it still swept the nation due to the fact that all of us now DESPERATELY want to travel.
We’d go anywhere! But Europe would take the cake. Literally send me to a random industrial town in Germany. I will eat that shit up.
Show is cute enough and pretty entertaining. Perfect as we headed into... Surge Winter™.
CNN (November - CNN, duh)
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I know I run the risk of losing you... which I may already have considering how long this damn piece is getting... but I’m going to delve into politics (briefly).
There was no show that could outperform the drama unfolding IRL with trump and biden. Joseph calmly dismantling fascism was really cool to see.
And yes, I’m aware there are other news channels and that CNN is probably fake news, but you know what? I don’t care. I watch CNN because I like my news SASSY! Sue me.
The Flight Attendant (December - HBO)
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This show is not even that good, but a psychotic alcoholic who gets caught up in a murder mystery is basically exactly what the content gods knew we were asking for.
Pure recklessness. No redeeming qualities in the protagonist. Just a generally lost and bad person. This is who we all have become.
Kaley Cuoco, you represent us all. Thank you. We now feel heard.
--
I was going to do January but the month isn’t over and this piece is too long, so uhh... holla at me IRL if you want to know what I’m watching rn. Peace!
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katelides · 6 years ago
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Walking on sunshine - Bechloe mini fic pt 4
Chapter 4: Don’t you want me
It’s a quarter to ten, way too early for a Saturday morning, during the summer. Yet Both Beca and Chloe are impatiently waiting for the clerk of the jewelry store to come and show them the wedding bands. The redhead is tapping her fingers on the surface of the counter, while Beca tries to make time go faster by staring at the clock on the wall. But the brunette can’t help but look down at the tapping fingers, which of course catches Chloe’s attention who immediately stops.
Their eyes meet for a brief second and Chloe looks away, not wanting to feel uncomfortable. The redhead crosses her arms because she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. They stay in complete silence for only a brief moment, but Chloe can’t help it, she can’t stay in silence. “I thought you wanted to kite-surfing the world?” She suddenly says slightly accusing.” Beca takes a deep breath. “We are… on our honeymoon.” Chloe huffs in amusement. “Funny, Maddie always said she wanted Paris.”
Thankfully for Beca, the clerk comes out with the wedding rings and a huge smile on his face. “Would you like to try them on?” He asks politely. Chloe’s eyes widen in shock, and she shakes her head. “Oh no no no, I’m not the bride, it’s uhm someone else she’s going to marry, I’m no one.” The redhead rambles to the great amusement of Beca, who of course takes her ring and tries it on. Chloe sadly keeps rambling on, making the clerk a bit uncomfortable. “I’m just a friend, the sister of the bride.”
“I guess when people want, they change,” Beca says as an answer to Chloe’s previous statement. “Perfect;” She tells the clerk and hands him back the ring so he can put them into their correct boxes. The clerk shoot Chloe an awkward smile, that the redhead easily returns.
“I didn’t change Beca, I just couldn’t drop everything and just run off into the sunset with you,” Chloe says with a huff as they walk out of the store. “I know, your real life, right? How is that working out for you now?” Beca knows she shouldn’t be so cocky about it, but she can’t help it. “Great.” Chloe shoots back dryly. “Cool,” Beca says with an indifferent shrug.
Beca rubs her hands together devilishly, ever since she saw the redhead she wanted to know the answer to one question, and one question only… “Are you seeing anyone?” She asks with a sly grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chloe answers back semi defensively. “Oh, sorry,” Beca says, trying to control her grin. This was perfect, Chloe definitely isn’t seeing anyone. Whoa wait, she has to get her head screwed back on correctly, she’s getting married tomorrow with Maddie.
“Why are you sorry?” Beca gets pulled back from her thoughts in a flash when Chloe makes her stop by pulling her by the arm. “Well, that’s a no.” Chloe rolls her eyes and continues walking. “No actually, it’s not necessarily a no, I just don’t want to talk about it. I think that sort of thing is private and shouldn’t be sung from the rooftops.” Beca smiles to herself and follows the redhead. She remembers how private the redhead was about the whole falling in love thing. Beca wasn’t so lucky though, she was best friends with Stacie, and her brother Jesse is a movie fanatic.
“Ha, I forgot, never say what you feel, right?” The brunette shoots back. “I just don’t see why people have to make such a spectacle of their feelings.” Beca makes Chloe stops by standing in front of her. “Because if someone sings it from the rooftops, you know that they really mean it. And that’s what weddings are all about.” Beca flashes a cocky smile at the redhead and walks away in victory.
The two of them enter the bridal shop. “Buon giorno.” Hello. Beca greets the woman inside with a smile that turns into. “What did you want me to do, Chloe? Become a monk?” They each accept the clothes they are offered by the shop’s staff while they keep their argument up. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe not fall in love with my sister?” Chloe shoots back sarcastically. “How could I know she was your sister? I have never met two people who are less like each other.” Beca says casually. “What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks offended by the statement.
They each step into a changing room. Sadly the two are only separated by a pink curtain. “Non posso credere che stiamo ancora parlando.” I can’t believe we’re still discussing this. “You’re the one that broke it off and forgot all about me.” The hurt is very evident in Beca’s voice, yet Chloe doesn’t seem to notice in her angry state. “I didn’t forget about you, I was working on my degree.” Beca lets out a huff as she puts on her wedding clothes. “Whatever.”
“And anyway, I’m not the one that spends all her days on the beach surrounded by hot girls in bikinis.” The two are so deep into their argument that they don’t hear the new people enter the store. Maybe they should have kept it down as the newcomers are their friends. “Oh come on, you know I wasn’t interested in them, I was waiting for you to come back like you said. But then I realized you weren’t, and then I met Maddie… she was open, so positive and full of life. “ Chloe pulls off her flowery dress in anger. “Full of life? So I’m not full of life?” Beca huffs for the umpteenth time that day. “Maybe you are, but how can anyone know?”
Outside of the stalls Mikey, Emily and Benji are listening in on the conversation. All with pained expressions clouding their faces. “We shouldn’t be listening to this, come on let's go,” Emily whispers. She pulls Benji away from the commotion and taps Mike on his shoulder. All the while as the two are still bickering. “Don’t make a spectacle of your feelings.” Beca shoots out mockingly. “Maddie made me happy again,” Beca states cooly as she shrugs on her jacket. “Okay? She brought me back to life.”
“How many times do I have to say how happy I am for you?” Sarcasm is dripping from Chloe's voice as she grows more frustrated by the minute. “Why are you so angry?” Beca asks, stepping out of her cubical and checking herself in the mirror. “I’m not angry,” Chloe shouts, ripping open her own curtain.
They both freeze when they see the other in their respective wedding outfit. Beca’s eyes roam over Chloe’s gorgeous figure, admiring the redhead in the beautiful pink and white bridesmaid dress.
Chloe’s jaw falls open slightly. Beca had always looked great in a pantsuit, but the dark blue one she is wearing right now makes the brunette’s eyes pop out even more. She looks sexy with the necktie loosely hanging around her neck. It makes her… undeniably hot.
“Oh belli che siete, siete veramente una meravigliosa coppia, e vi meritate in sieme tutto che la vita vi fa dare.” Oh, you are both beautiful, you are truly a wonderful couple, and you deserve all that life gives you. Beca and Chloe look up at the two older women that are cooing at them, making the two feel uncomfortable about their rapidly regrowing feelings. They share a look and can agree on the first thing that day. “I think we’re done.” The two rush back into their cubical and get dressed again but this time in utter silence.
Meanwhile, Maddie is roaming around, carefree, at the weekly farmer’s market.  She loves going there every Saturday, it’s a fun way to spend your morning, and you always go home with fresh fruit and vegetables. The busy hustle of people trying to sell their products, the many smells, the relaxed families all around her… Yes, that’s life she enjoys more than others might think.
The brunette is picking out some vegetables when some grabs the cucumber she just picked out, she’s ready to scream but stops herself when the smell of strong cologne that she would recognize anywhere fills her nostrils. “Doug…” The man chuckles playfully. “Oh, you do miss me.” Maddie pulls the cucumber out of Doug’s hand and puts it back on the pile. “What are you doing here?” She asks rather aggressively. “I’m here to rescue you from making the worst mistake of your life.”
The condescending tone Doug is speaking in irritates Maddie to no end, but she doesn’t show it. “That is so sweet… oh, but you were the worst mistake of my life so…” Without sparing the man another glance, she walks away. She doesn’t get far though, Doug follows her and spins her around. “Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but that’s all part of our things, isn’t it?”
Maddie tries to ignore the slightly greying man in front of her and tries to push past him but to no avail. “It’s a ride, it’s a great, big, fun, sexy rollercoaster.” Doug lets his ‘R’ roll for effect, one that does not seem to really faze Maddie. “Yeah alright, maybe we’ve had a big down these last few months,” Doug says with a shrug. “You dumped me!” Maddie shouts exasperatedly. “That just means we’re due for a big up. Know what I’m saying?”
“Doug, I don’t want your great, big, sexy,” Maddie’s eyes flicker down to her ex’s crotch but quickly looks back up again. “ride anymore… I want to get off.” Once again Maddie tries to walk away but gets stopped by Doug. “I should have never let you go Maddison Beale.” Maddie agrees with the arrogant douche. “I’m man enough to admit that.” Maddie lets out a bouldering laugh. “Come on, we’re incredible together, you know that.” Maddie rolls her eyes. “Just go…”
“One more chance. Come on, you owe me that.” Maddie keeps trying to get away but gets stopped with every turn. “I don’t owe you anything, except maybe a smack.” She says in an exasperated voice. “How can you say that?” Doug fakes being hurt, but slowly a  grin creeps up on his face. “Remember when you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?” He asks? “It was the day I first met you.”
Maddie rolls her eyes and turns away, but Doug grabs a piece of fabric of one of the stands and wraps it around the brunette. “Out of all the girls there that night I picked you and I shook you up, and I turned you around, into someone new.”  Maddie wriggles the fabric off and gives it back to the annoyed stand owner with an apologetic smile, all the while as Doug keeps talking.
“Now it’s five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet baby, success has been so easy for you.” Maddie grunts when Doug pulls her into a hug, she refuses to talk to him. “But don’t forget it was me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too.” Maddie is really close to slapping the boyish grin of off Doug’s face forever but manages to keep her anger inside and shoves an apple into his mouth. She walks away towards her car, trying to get as far away from the rich, self-absorbed, sex-crazed idiot she used to date.
“Come on Mads, you can’t tell me you don’t want me?” This is the last straw for the engaged brunette, she has to think quick to get rid of Doug. A simple idea pops into her head and turns to face the jerk. “Yes, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.” She manages to corner him on an empty table and comes really close as if she would be ready to kiss him. “But even back then I knew I’d find a much better place either with or without you.”
Without sparing Doug a second glance, she leaves him on the table, but she knows he’s following her swiftly. “The five we have had been such good times. I still love you…” Maddie takes a deep breath when she realizes what she just said and releases it just as quick. She’s in love with Beca, Beca is the one that makes her happy, the one that truly ever took the time to understand her. “But now I think it’s time to live my life as my own, I guess it’s just what I must do.”
“I truly don’t believe a word you’re saying sweet cheeks, and you just admitted that you love me so…” Maddie finally reaches her car but gets blocked from driving away. She pretends to let Doug into her vehicle, but the second he is out of the way she drives off. She lets out a relieved breath when she thinks she’s safe but that relief quickly vanishes when she sees Doug pull up next to her.
She manages to cut him off and drives through a little road towards the mansion. Everything seems to be finally clear, but when she enters inside, she finds Doug waiting for her with a grin. Maddie takes a piece of tape and wraps it around Doug’s mouth, so he doesn’t say anything stupid anymore. Thankfully she did because he was ready to do so. She also grabs a chair and is ready to use it on Doug’s head. “Which part of ‘I don’t want you’ don’t you understand?” She asks angrily.
Doug pulls the tape off his mouth so he can speak. “The 'don’t'…” He says seriously. “I've been out with some jerks, but you are a category of your own.” Maddie manages to huff out in annoyance. Doug, on the other hand, takes it as a compliment. “Why did I put up with it for so long? Well, I suppose I thought that one day you would go down on one knee.”
“We certainly have tried every other position,” Doug mumbles more to himself than to Maddie. “Ugh, just leave me alone.” Doug throws his hands up in defense. “Alright, I get it, I could try… but uhm yeah, I’ll go.” Doug slowly turns around but stops in his tracks. “On one condition, have dinner with me tonight.”
Maddie casually shrugs her shoulders. “It’s my hen night.” In her head, she's doing a happy dance because she can get out of it. “We’ll go early, really low key.” Maddie shakes her head. “Come on, have those five years meant anything to you? One last meal, I can wish you well, prove there are no hard feelings.
Maddie thinks about it. “And then you’ll go?” She asks to clarify. “On my honor,” Doug says. The brunette huffs, deep inside hoping that it’s true. “Okay” She didn’t see that Doug crossed his fingers behind his back, though. She doesn’t really get a chance to say or do anything else when she hears footsteps approaching them. “What is he doing here?”
It’s a quarter to ten, way too early for a Saturday morning, during the summer. Yet Both Beca and Chloe are impatiently waiting for the clerk of the jewelry store to come and show them the wedding bands. The redhead is tapping her fingers on the surface of the counter, while Beca tries to make time go faster by staring at the clock on the wall. But the brunette can’t help but look down at the tapping fingers, which of course catches Chloe’s attention who immediately stops.
Their eyes meet for a brief second and Chloe looks away, not wanting to feel uncomfortable. The redhead crosses her arms because she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. They stay in complete silence for only a brief moment, but Chloe can’t help it, she can’t stay in silence. “I thought you wanted to kite-surfing the world?” She suddenly says slightly accusing.” Beca takes a deep breath. “We are… on our honeymoon.” Chloe huffs in amusement. “Funny, Maddie always said she wanted Paris.”
Thankfully for Beca, the clerk comes out with the wedding rings and a huge smile on his face. “Would you like to try them on?” He asks politely. Chloe’s eyes widen in shock, and she shakes her head. “Oh no no no, I’m not the bride, it’s uhm someone else she’s going to marry, I’m no one.” The redhead rambles to the great amusement of Beca, who of course takes her ring and tries it on. Chloe sadly keeps rambling on, making the clerk a bit uncomfortable. “I’m just a friend, the sister of the bride.”
“I guess when people want, they change,” Beca says as an answer to Chloe’s previous statement. “Perfect;” She tells the clerk and hands him back the ring so he can put them into their correct boxes. The clerk shoot Chloe an awkward smile, that the redhead easily returns.
“I didn’t change Beca, I just couldn’t drop everything and just run off into the sunset with you,” Chloe says with a huff as they walk out of the store. “I know, your real life, right? How is that working out for you now?” Beca knows she shouldn’t be so cocky about it, but she can’t help it. “Great.” Chloe shoots back dryly. “Cool,” Beca says with an indifferent shrug.
Beca rubs her hands together devilishly, ever since she saw the redhead she wanted to know the answer to one question, and question only… “Are you seeing anyone?” She asks with a sly grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chloe answers back semi defensively. “Oh, sorry,” Beca says, trying to control her grin. This was perfect, Chloe definitely isn’t seeing anyone. Whoa wait, she has to get her head screwed back on correctly, she’s getting married tomorrow with Maddie.
“Why are you sorry?” Beca gets pulled back from her thoughts in a flash when Chloe makes her stop by pulling her by the arm. “Well, that’s a no.” Chloe rolls her eyes and continues walking. “No actually, it’s not necessarily a no, I just don’t want to talk about it. I think that sort of thing is private and shouldn’t be sung from the rooftops.” Beca smiles to herself and follows the redhead. She remembers how private the redhead was about the whole falling in love thing. Beca wasn’t so lucky though, she was best friends with Stacie, and her brother Jesse is a movie fanatic.
“Ha, I forgot, never say what you feel, right?” The brunette shoots back. “I just don’t see why people have to make such a spectacle of their feelings.” Beca makes Chloe stops by standing in front of her. “Because if someone sings it from the rooftops, you know that they really mean it. And that’s what weddings are all about.” Beca flashes a cocky smile at the redhead and walks away in victory.
The two of them enter the bridal shop. “Buon giorno.” Hello. Beca greets the woman inside with a smile that turns into. “What did you want me to do, Chloe? Become a monk?” They each accept the clothes they are offered by the shop’s staff while they keep their argument up. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe not fall in love with my sister?” Chloe shoots back sarcastically. “How could I know she was your sister? I have never met two people who are less like each other.” Beca says casually. “What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks offended by the statement.
They each step into a changing room. Sadly the two are only separated by a pink curtain. “Non posso credere che stiamo ancora parlando.” I can’t believe we’re still discussing this. “You’re the one that broke it off and forgot all about me.” The hurt is very evident in Beca’s voice, yet Chloe doesn’t seem to notice in her angry state. “I didn’t forget about you, I was working on my degree.” Beca lets out a huff as she puts on her wedding clothes. “Whatever.”
“And anyway, I’m not the one that spends all her days on the beach surrounded by hot girls in bikinis.” The two are so deep into their argument that they don’t hear the new people enter the store. Maybe they should have kept it down as the newcomers are their friends. “Oh come on, you know I wasn’t interested in them, I was waiting for you to come back like you said. But then I realized you weren’t, and then I met Maddie… she was open, so positive and full of life. “ Chloe pulls off her flowery dress in anger. “Full of life? So I’m not full of life?” Beca huffs for the umpteenth time that day. “Maybe you are, but how can anyone know?”
Outside of the stalls Mikey, Emily and Benji are listening in on the conversation. All with pained expressions clouding their faces. “We shouldn’t be listening to this, come on let's go,” Emily whispers. She pulls Benji away from the commotion and taps Mike on his shoulder. All the while as the two are still bickering. “Don’t make a spectacle of your feelings.” Beca shoots out mockingly. “Maddie made me happy again,” Beca states cooly as she shrugs on her jacket. “Okay? She brought me back to life.”
“How many times do I have to say how happy I am for you?” Sarcasm is dripping from Chloe's voice as she grows more frustrated by the minute. “Why are you so angry?” Beca asks, stepping out of her cubical and checking herself in the mirror. “I’m not angry,” Chloe shouts, ripping open her own curtain.
They both freeze when they see the other in their respective wedding outfit. Beca’s eyes roam over Chloe’s gorgeous figure, admiring the redhead in the beautiful pink and white bridesmaid dress.
Chloe’s jaw falls open slightly. Beca had always looked great in a pantsuit, but the dark blue one she is wearing right now makes the brunette’s eyes pop out even more. She looks sexy with the necktie loosely hanging around her neck. It makes her… undeniably hot.
“Oh belli che siete, siete veramente una meravigliosa coppia, e vi meritate in sieme tutto che la vita vi fa dare.” Oh, you are both beautiful, you are truly a wonderful couple, and you deserve all that life gives you. Beca and Chloe look up at the two older women that are cooing at them, making the two feel uncomfortable about their rapidly regrowing feelings. They share a look and can agree on the first thing that day. “I think we’re done.” The two rush back into their cubical and get dressed again but this time in utter silence.
Meanwhile, Maddie is roaming around, carefree, at the weekly farmer’s market.  She loves going there every Saturday, it’s a fun way to spend your morning, and you always go home with fresh fruit and vegetables. The busy hustle of people trying to sell their products, the many smells, the relaxed families all around her… Yes, that’s life she enjoys more than others might think.
The brunette is picking out some vegetables when some grabs the cucumber she just picked out, she’s ready to scream but stops herself when the smell of strong cologne that she would recognize anywhere fills her nostrils. “Doug…” The man chuckles playfully. “Oh, you do miss me.” Maddie pulls the cucumber out of Doug’s hand and puts it back on the pile. “What are you doing here?” She asks rather aggressively. “I’m here to rescue you from making the worst mistake of your life.”
The condescending tone Doug is speaking in irritates Maddie to no end, but she doesn’t show it. “That is so sweet… oh, but you were the worst mistake of my life so…” Without sparing the man another glance, she walks away. She doesn’t get far though, Doug follows her and spins her around. “Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but that’s all part of our things, isn’t it?”
Maddie tries to ignore the slightly greying man in front of her and tries to push past him but to no avail. “It’s a ride, it’s a great, big, fun, sexy rollercoaster.” Doug lets his ‘R’ roll for effect, one that does not seem to really faze Maddie. “Yeah alright, maybe we’ve had a big down these last few months,” Doug says with a shrug. “You dumped me!” Maddie shouts exasperatedly. “That just means we’re due for a big up. Know what I’m saying?”
“Doug, I don’t want your great, big, sexy,” Maddie’s eyes flicker down to her ex’s crotch but quickly looks back up again. “ride anymore… I want to get off.” Once again Maddie tries to walk away but gets stopped by Doug. “I should have never let you go Maddison Beale.” Maddie agrees with the arrogant douche. “I’m man enough to admit that.” Maddie lets out a bouldering laugh. “Come on, we’re incredible together, you know that.” Maddie rolls her eyes. “Just go…”
“One more chance. Come on, you owe me that.” Maddie keeps trying to get away but gets stopped with every turn. “I don’t owe you anything, except maybe a smack.” She says in an exasperated voice. “How can you say that?” Doug fakes being hurt, but slowly a  grin creeps up on his face. “Remember when you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?” He asks? “It was the day I first met you.”
Maddie rolls her eyes and turns away, but Doug grabs a piece of fabric of one of the stands and wraps it around the brunette. “Out of all the girls there that night I picked you and I shook you up, and I turned you around, into someone new.”  Maddie wriggles the fabric off and gives it back to the annoyed stand owner with an apologetic smile, all the while as Doug keeps talking.
“Now it’s five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet baby, success has been so easy for you.” Maddie grunts when Doug pulls her into a hug, she refuses to talk to him. “But don’t forget it was me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too.” Maddie is really close to slapping the boyish grin of off Doug’s face forever but manages to keep her anger inside and shoves an apple into his mouth. She walks away towards her car, trying to get as far away from the rich, self-absorbed, sex-crazed idiot she used to date.
“Come on Mads, you can’t tell me you don’t want me?” This is the last straw for the engaged brunette, she has to think quick to get rid of Doug. A simple idea pops into her head and turns to face the jerk. “Yes, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.” She manages to corner him on an empty table and comes really close as if she would be ready to kiss him. “But even back then I knew I’d find a much better place either with or without you.”
Without sparing Doug a second glance, she leaves him on the table, but she knows he’s following her swiftly. “The five we have had been such good times. I still love you…” Maddie takes a deep breath when she realizes what she just said and releases it just as quick. She’s in love with Beca, Beca is the one that makes her happy, the one that truly ever took the time to understand her. “But now I think it’s time to live my life as my own, I guess it’s just what I must do.”
“I truly don’t believe a word you’re saying sweet cheeks, and you just admitted that you love me so…” Maddie finally reaches her car but gets blocked from driving away. She pretends to let Doug into her vehicle, but the second he is out of the way she drives off. She lets out a relieved breath when she thinks she’s safe but that relief quickly vanishes when she sees Doug pull up next to her.
She manages to cut him off and drives through a little road towards the mansion. Everything seems to be finally clear, but when she enters inside, she finds Doug waiting for her with a grin. Maddie takes a piece of tape and wraps it around Doug’s mouth, so he doesn’t say anything stupid anymore. Thankfully she did because he was ready to do so. She also grabs a chair and is ready to use it on Doug’s head. “Which part of ‘I don’t want you’ don’t you understand?” She asks angrily.
Doug pulls the tape off his mouth so he can speak. “The 'don’t'…” He says seriously. “I've been out with some jerks, but you are a category of your own.” Maddie manages to huff out in annoyance. Doug, on the other hand, takes it as a compliment. “Why did I put up with it for so long? Well, I suppose I thought that one day you would go down on one knee.”
“We certainly have tried every other position,” Doug mumbles more to himself than to Maddie. “Ugh, just leave me alone.” Doug throws his hands up in defense. “Alright, I get it, I could try… but uhm yeah, I’ll go.” Doug slowly turns around but stops in his tracks. “On one condition, have dinner with me tonight.”
Maddie casually shrugs her shoulders. “It’s my hen night.” In her head, she's doing a happy dance because she can get out of it. “We’ll go early, really low key.” Maddie shakes her head. “Come on, have those five years meant anything to you? One last meal, I can wish you well, prove there are no hard feelings.
Maddie thinks about it. “And then you’ll go?” She asks to clarify. “On my honor,” Doug says. The brunette huffs, deep inside hoping that it’s true. “Okay” She didn’t see that Doug crossed his fingers behind his back, though. She doesn’t really get a chance to say or do anything else when she hears footsteps approaching them. “What is he doing here?”
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novacabtaxi · 4 years ago
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Everyone Loves Anna Shay, ‘Bling Empire’s Uber-Rich, Unbothered Queen
If you’ve binged Bling Empire already, then you’ll agree that Anna Shay is easily the most iconic person on the show.
For those who might not be up to speed with who Anna Shay is or even the phenomenon that is , let me get you up to speed: Bling Empire is an eight-part reality series that follows the lifestyles of the wealthy Asian elites residing in Los Angeles. To make sense of it, your best off thinking of the series as the reality TV version of Crazy Rich Asians, Selling Sunset on steroids, and absolutely everything Real Housewives wishes it was.
Amongst the cast is an array of Asian and Asian-American socialites who have each come into wealth in their own ways. For example, new money Christine Chiu is married to a popular plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, who just so happens to be a direct descendant of the Song dynasty, too. Meanwhile, Kane Lim is the son of Singaporean billionaires, who beyond being in the real estate, shipping and oil sectors, also “own the shopping malls you go into in South East Asia”.
For some balance, model Kevin Taejin Kreider is thrown into the mix to act as the everyman, who lives in a share house while his millionaire and billionaire friends casually drop $19,000 on hotel rooms. But then there is Anna Shay — the oldest, wisest, and, most importantly, the richest member of the cast, who is wildly entertaining without even trying.
Whether it’s her whizzing off to Paris because she feels like dining at her favourite restaurant, or having penis pumps laying around her house be the only cause for her drama-fuelled storylines, Anna Shay is everything I want to be when I grow up.
But what exactly makes Anna Shay so iconic? Let’s dissect.
2020 brought us Joe Exotic. 2021 has gifted us with Anna Shay.
It is now clear to me 2021 is going to be amazing. #blingempire pic.twitter.com/rlRakjxvXM
�� Kim Ber (@indiekimmy) January 18, 2021
Who Is Anna Shay And How Is She SO Rich?
Anna Shay is one of the main cast members on Bling Empire, and, by a significant amount, the most wealthy of the group.
The 60-year-old is American, Japanese and Russian, and the child of billionaires, Edward Shay and Ai-San Shay. Her parents found their wealth in arms trade, with their company being later sold in 2006 for $1.2 billion in cold, hard cash.
Kane, a cast member on the show who is also the child of billionaires, described Anna as “super, super-wealthy” as “her money comes from weapons [with] her father selling bombs, guns, and defence technology [that’s] worth, like, a few billion”.
after watching episode 1 of bling empire i’ve decided Anna Shay is who i want to be when i grow up
— sexually active shut-in (@emoveganslut) January 15, 2021
Watching #blingempire I now realise that my ideal career is “daughter of an arms dealer”.
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) January 18, 2021
Specifically, Edward Shay founded, and created his billion dollar fortune through, Pacific Architects and Engineers (PAE) in 1955, which is described as an “architectural and engineering firm [that assisted] the US government effort to rebuild Asia in the wake of WWII”.
After his death in 1995, Anna and her sibling inherited their father’s shares and sold them off to Lockheed Martin in 2006 in an all-cash deal. This means Anna Shay’s personal net worth sits around the $600 million mark, which is about $400 million more than the second-richest star on the show, denim empire heiress and the woman with the placenta Anna wanted, Cherie Chan.
While Anna is not currently married, she’s been divorced four times (iconic) and has one son in Kenny Kemp, a 27-year-old with a $500,000 collection of glass bongs (also, very iconic). Icons breed icons, clearly.
Why Is Anna Shay So Damn Iconic?
I just wanna say: I C O N I C#blingempire #blingempirenetflix #annashay pic.twitter.com/jRPeEQz3I7
— Lady Trashington (@BigFabi_) January 18, 2021
When we first meet Anna Shay on Bling Empire, she is literally dressed in a ballgown and throwing a sledgehammer at her walk-in closet wall. But actions like this aren’t even a one-off — this chaotic introduction is basically the exact energy Anna Shay exudes throughout the rest of the series, too.
If Anna Shay is one thing beyond being crazy rich, it’s being impressively unbothered about quite literally everything. Not once throughout Bling Empire does Anna ever seem troubled by the events happening around her — even when Kim Lee and Guy Tang snoop through her home and throw her penis pump out the window.
The simple fact is Anna is so rich, so well-off, and so comfortable with her life that she doesn’t care what people think or do around her. For example, a huge storyline in Bling Empire is Anna’s “feud” with Christine, who seems adamant on proving she’s better than Anna for the entire season.
Christine wears certain jewellery in an attempt to get a rise out of Anna, which fails. Christine tries to flex that she stays in a certain presidential suite when she’s in Paris, but Anna doesn’t care. Instead of giving Christine any of the reaction she wants, Anna simply calmly says in her confessional that “she cannot compete with what I was born into”.
I mean, think about when, at her own dinner party when Christine is being annoying as hell, Anna simply moves her to the end of the table because she just can’t be fucked speaking to her or dealing with her drama. Iconic.
“She can never compete with what I was born into”….This is what you call classy wealthy shade
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. Love her… Anna Shay is fast becoming a fav of mine and I’m only on episode 2
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#BlingEmpireNetflix #blingempire pic.twitter.com/Vj8mRwqkd8
— Ms_LVW (@Vonn69) January 18, 2021
But beyond being an unbothered queen, Anna Shay is also extremely generous, a great friend to everyone on the show, and always delivers the best one-liners.
Take, when it’s her friend Kelly Mi Li’s birthday, and Anna flies Kelly and her shitty boyfriend, Andrew, to Paris (first class, of course) just to eat at her favourite restaurant, for example.
While in Paris, as Andrew sleeps off his jet lag, Anna takes Kelly out to buy her a friendship ring for her birthday, which causes drama. Andrew, who is basically just verbally abusing Kelly via speaker phone, ends up calling Kelly and berates her for leaving him as he slept.
In response, Anna constantly tells Kelly she deserves better, and just puts it bluntly for everyone at home who may be in a similar situation: “There ain’t no dick that good”.
Forget Emily in Paris, I want Anna in Paris. #BlingEmpire pic.twitter.com/yTYeO85s0E
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) January 18, 2021
And just like that: Anna Shay became reality TV gold.
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#BlingEmpire pic.twitter.com/0rpehfQ0JR
— Angel Huracha (@AngelHuracha) January 15, 2021
Anna also buys Kevin a new wardrobe without a second thought, dishes out helpful advice only a 60-year-old daughter of an arms dealer can, and doesn’t even raise her voice when Kim and Guy disrespect her after she opens her home to them for a spa day.
Instead, Anna simply expresses her disappointment in them and continues on her merry, unbothered, rich way. As she should.
Is Anna Shay Really That Iconic In Real-Life?
Simply put, yes. Anna Shay seems to be exactly who she is on camera in real-life.
After Bling Empire started booming, Oprah Mag interviewed the star and Anna’s responses only worked to solidify her icon status. For example, when asked about what she did with her Netflix cheques from Bling Empire, Anna shared she was “confused” by the whole thing so she never even cashed them. Goals.
“It was so confusing when I got the checks. I didn’t know what to do with them. I didn’t cash them, then I got in trouble for not cashing them,” Anna shared in her interview. “I have them in a savings account. I’d like to have a party some time. I don’t think the money belongs to me. I think it belongs to the crew that had to put up with me.”
As Anna said herself on Bling Empire, her father never wanted her to have to work, which explains why she was so confused about the concept of working and getting paid for that work. Again, goals.
Anna from #BlingEmpire is my new fav reality star pic.twitter.com/UmEOFtAM4o
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) January 17, 2021
In the same interview, Anna was asked about Crazy Rich Asians and the ways in which her upbringing was similar, but she shared that while she hasn’t seen the film, she acknowledges her privilege.
“I didn’t watch it. I was going to say, ‘I live it’ but I thought that would be too snobbish,” she continued. “In the world I was raised in, ‘crazy’ is not a good word to put next to the lifestyle I was born into. I didn’t do anything except be born. My mother said, ‘You were born in a crystal ball with a silver spoon.’”
But it’s the answers like this that makes Anna Shay so likeable despite her ridiculous amounts of money. She knows she’s wealthy, and owns it, yet it’s not her entire personality. I mean, that and her clear, but classy, distaste for Christine, of course.
All in favour of skipping Anna Shay’s house when we eventually eat the rich, say I.
You can stream ‘Bling Empire’ on Netflix now.
Michelle Rennex is a senior writer at Junkee. She tweets at @michellerennex.
from TAXI NEAR ME https://taxi.nearme.host/everyone-loves-anna-shay-bling-empires-uber-rich-unbothered-queen/
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florencefolly · 7 years ago
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Lost In Translation
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July 3, 2017
The best-laid plans of mice and men / Go oft awry
-Robert Burns
The day starts later than we would like but this is how it tends to be with more than just a couple of people. Each of us has our morning routine and no matter how the pressure is applied, the timing remains constant. You can’t put four pounds of shit in a two pound bag. It just won’t work.
Earlier in the morning, my twin sister Rani had gone over to the local boulangerie for pastries. She’d done so willingly. Arriving back promptly with a bag full of goodies and a gleeful smile, “I spoke perfect French!” she says. I love it. A few weeks ago I received a text from her. “I’m sad,” it read. “About what,” I replied. Her daughter Claire was joining us for three weeks and all the sudden it had hit her. She was wishing that she was coming with us. So, I egged her to join and she worked it out.
She had arrived the morning before and several hours before us to Paris. The apartment manager had agreed to let her in early. She managed to navigate her way downtown with minimal effort on little sleep. A day later and with a few more hours of sleep, she’s rallying to get us out the door.
Out on the street, the six of us are on our way up Haussman Street towards the Arc de Triomphe. There is a FNAC store on the Champs-Elysees that sells the Paris City Pass and we are on our way there to purchase it. We spill out on to the fabled tree-lined street with a bazillion other tourists, get our bearings and head away from the top of the street. Emily and I choose to wait outside, opting instead to go into to the Tissot watch store. They peg us immediately for Americans. “You speak English?” the shopkeeper queried. “Yes but I prefer to speak French, I need the practice,” I reply. He is not playing along. We look at a few watches as we try to pass the time.
Impatiently, we decide to head down into the store to find the others. FNAC is like an electronics store meets book store—like a Barnes and Noble and a Best Buy in one building. We spot them towards the back of the store. “They don’t sell them here,” Robin laments. “We need to go to another store.” It is a metro ride away. We head down the street towards Franklin Roosevelt Plaza and into the Metro tunnel. There is a beautiful Georgian building behind tall black gates frosted with gold at the tips. I have no idea what the building is but it is amazing to look at. I often think about places like this in relation to my own City, San Francisco. There are many incredible buildings there too but because I see them routinely, they don’t have the same splendor. Do Parisians give these buildings a “Meh” too? Maybe but not me. They are special, even if I do not know their significance.
We hope the train and head towards the Opera House. The tickets can be bought near there a city run tourist office. I think that we can get them at the Big Bus (Hop On, Hop Off) office. I had actually suggested that we go for the more expensive pass that includes this monstrosity because it really is a good way to see a lot of an unfamiliar city. We pop out on to the street after the short ride to find that we are a couple blocks short of our destination. Making our way through the crowd we step into the tourism office. There are about 30 people in line. Robin needs to use the restroom but there is none. After a few minutes, we learn they do not have the pass we want. Back on the street, we need lunch. The younger generation is starting to melt. Boco is a French cafeteria style restaurant where you pick hot and cold items that they will heat up for you. We select our meal and find our seat. Getting the meal into us, we regroup. The plan is to head over to the Big Bus store and buy our passes there.
Standing at the counter of the store, the ladies are speaking with the agent about the Paris City pass. We had looked up the pass on the web and felt like this is what we wanted to do. It gives us the bus tour, the museum pass and a few other things. However, it is more than 500 euros for just four of us. I just can’t sign off on that spend. Besides, this is not even the correct pass! We wanted the City Pass and tell the agent so. “You must go elsewhere for that one. We don’t sell that here,” she explained.
Out on the street, we regroup-again. We need to get the Rex Theater. 15 minutes walk. Busting out the GPS, we head over and up through Japan town and then the design/textile district. It is an entertaining but hot walk. The GPS has us close but we need to go another couple of blocks. Finally, we find the theater only to learn they no longer sell the pass we want but the agent directs us to the location where they are sold. We go back to whence we came, turning down the lane we had passed to get to the theater. We arrive to find the building shuttered. The kids are losing it. We have gone in circles for a few hours now. My beautiful sister reads the signs and announces, “I’ll take the kids back to the apartment. You guys can figure it out.” She does so with a smile because she’s smart and knows that the situation could’ve quickly run off the rails. I put them in an Uber back to the beauty of the 8th Arrondissment. The section of the 2nd Arrondissment that we are currently standing is no prize, likely playing a larger than bit role in the prevailing attitudes.
Robin, and this one of the many reasons that I love her, not one bit bothered by the goose chase we’ve been on. She sees it as part of the sauce. This is travel in foreign place. You have a plan and that plan can quickly disappear. Sometimes, if you are lucky, the plan is replaced with an adventure that delivers a life-long memory. Rani and the kids inside the cool of the air-conditioned car, Robin and I are left to our own devices. Smiling at one another, thinking how the fuck did this just happen? We are alone in Paris—sans les enfants. “Want to get a drink?” Absolutely! We wander down the street towards the Seine. We spot a few places to catch something with bubbles but the original task is nagging. We opt instead for a trip over to the other FNAC in Les Halles.
Arriving at the massive shopping mall at the center of Paris, we make our way through yet another throng of people. Down to the lowest level of the mall, level minus three is actually above the Metro lines that feed into the transit hub of Châtelet-Les Halles. We find the ticket desk only to be told that “It is finished.” We just laugh. What else can you do?
Robin needs a restroom. I need a strong drink. We find a map for the building to locate a toilet. Snaking our way around the maze of stores we are approaching our destination only to find it cordoned off with cops everywhere. I’ve no idea what is happening and I don’t want to know. We need to get the fuck out of here. NOW. We make a beeline for the Metro but not before hitting the cash machine. Euros in hand we buy our tickets, heading BACK to the Big Bus store. We arrive and anticlimactically buy our tickets, opting for the cheaper museum pass. This will do the trick.
Back in the apartment, we prepare dinner, drinking good Rose while the kids have their precious screen time. Dinner is simple but requires deciphering a back-of-the-box recipe for rice pilaf. The result is too much water. It called for 1 ½ Liters of water, only determining about three minutes away from its nine minute finish that they meant half a liter. Dinner consumed it was decided over the meal that would do a river cruise. Ubering over is only moderately more expensive and certainly more timely. We arrive literally just in time to get the last boat before a 10:15pm sunset—meltdown averted. The cruise is lovely. Pictures are taken, breaths stolen and smiles all around.
We end the evening with a walk on the left bank and dessert served by a show off Italian on one of the very touristy streets. He is charming and the sweets don’t disappoint. A metro ride back leaves us standing on the platform at almost midnight with a number of others. In the shadows of the track below me I see something moving. It is a raildust covered mouse. Not a rat but a small black mouse with a crooked tail. It is shuffling along, in an out of the light making the best of its existence. The train arrives over the top of him and we hop on. Bed soon. Thankfully.
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