#yes these are things that annoy me why do you ask

[traveler-at-heart]

Doctor's In - Part 13

Summary: Your life in Boston after Wanda.

The air is cold, and just your luck, today you left the car outside of the building’s parking lot.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all, as a cute woman is inspecting the black Corvette, in awe of the elegant and expensive car.

“Want a ride?”

“This yours?” she says, genuinenly fascinated.

“Yeap” you nod. “She’s a beauty, 490-hp 6.2-liter V-8 engine”

Do you know what those words mean? Not at all.

“My father and I used to fix cars. I need to send him a picture. Can I?”

“Sure, go ahead” you smile. “I’ll even take one of you standing next to it”

You pull out your phone.

“Oh, wait, I should have given you mine” the woman says, and you smile.

“Or you could give me your number and I’ll send the pics” you smile at her, offering your phone.

“Very smooth” she blushes, taking it.

“If you wanna talk about smooth, the leather seats are just…”

“Ugh, it’s too cold to take my motorcycle, can you give me a ride to the hospital?” Yelena interrupts, coming out of nowhere as usual.

“Shh, go away” you push her behind you.

“God, we’re gonna be late. Just skip to the part where you lie about texting the girl and get on with it” she mumbles, and luckily only you can hear her.

“Sorry, she’s being annoying” you elbow Yelena’s side. “I’ll send you the pictures, and my offer for a ride still stands”

“Well, alright then. Have fun babysitting” the woman comments, which earns her a glare from the blonde.

“Get in the fucking car” you mutter. “Why can’t you ask your mother for a damn car? She has lots of them”

“Like the one you borrow and use to get phone numbers? I don’t understand why you do it, you never call them”

“It’s not about having a date. It’s just fun to talk to girls. I never really did it outside of college” you shrug your shoulders.

You never call them because the thought of being with someone who isn’t Wanda is simply absurd.

But you don’t expect Yelena to understand it.

“I never ask for a car because then she’d be like See, I was right, a motorcycle was a bad idea”

“Get both, like your sister”

“No, because then she’ll say I’m copying her, like when she went to school with a green backpack and I got one that was similar the next day. But green has always been my favorite color” she rambles.

“Are all the Romanoffs this complicated?”

"Is your music taste always this random?" Yelena points at the screen. "Yesterday it was ABBA and now it's Metallica"

"Don't even think about changing it" you say, slapping her hand away.

You finally get to the hospital, parking in your spot, which is one of the best ones in the entire facility.

Melina is trying to convince you to stay beyond your three month contract, and she’s not shying away from providing a life of luxury, with a penthouse and a fancy car included.

If it wasn’t because you’re busting your ass in the ER, you’d feel like a sugar baby.

“Go and check on the people waiting, I have to sign discharges and look at some post ops” you tell Yelena as soon as you walk in, and she nods.

“Morning, everyone” you greet the front desk. “Is Patrick ready for his recital today?”

“Yes, he’s very excited” Nurse Roman says.

“Well, as a doctor I don’t feel comfortable saying break a leg, so let’s just leave it at good luck”

“That sounds perfect to me, Doctor Y/L/N, thank you” the woman says. You’re smiling until you notice the frown on Peña’s face.

“Don’t look at me like that. Not my fault you keep betting on Shelton when he’s literally playing against Alcaraz”

“Shelton is the future of American tennis”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the resounding noise of your debt” you say, going back to the charts but keeping your palm open. You don’t look up until he gives up, putting a 20 in your hand. “Pleasure doing business with you, Peña. I’m so looking forward to Indian Wells and Miami back to back”

You don’t realise that Natasha is also at the front desk, signing a couple of discharge forms.

It’s been a month and you’re already friends with half the people who work here. Natasha’s glad, because it can be miserable to be isolated while you’re away from home.

The other side of her can’t help but feel really stupid too, because all this time she thought you were flirting and in reality, this is who you are with most people.

Now that’s a fast way to humble someone.

“Hi, Doctor Romanoff” you say, finally noticing her. “Ending your shift?”

“Yeah. How about you?”

“Starting a 48”

“Didn’t you just do one 12 hours ago?” she says.

“Yeah, but my brother and sister are coming over so I need the weekend off” you smile, actually excited. Natasha is probably one of the only people who could understand how good it is to reconnect with your siblings, but she’s been distant with you ever since you came to Boston.

So, you wish her a good day, and walk to the madness of the ER.

“Fuck my life, fuck it hard” you mutter when you notice who’s there. Ed Lorne, aka clown nurse. He’s a young one, practically fresh out of college and with an unhealthy obsession to behave like Patch Adams in that movie that always puts you to sleep (No disrespect to Robin Williams).

“Please tell me his shift is almost over” you plead to Yelena.

“Don’t be mean. He’s trying to make an impression”

“He already did and it’s a fucking awful one”

The fact that there’s no swear jar around has turned you into a sailor on leave. Not that you keep track, but if the twins could hear you, they’d be set for an Ivy League education.

Stop thinking about this, you mentally scold yourself, trying to breathe to settle that uncomfortable feeling at the pit of your stomach.

Yelena mistakes your frustrated sigh with a protest as Ed approaches you. Truthfully, it’s a bit of both.

“Top of the morning to you, Doctor Y/L/N” he says, removing an imaginary hat.

God, you’re gonna strangle him with a stethoscope.

“Guy in bed six has problems with urinating and I’m like well, more like ur-out of my bladder!”

“Boy, you’re really bringing the theater kid energy today, aren’t ya” you complain, ignoring Yelena’s smack on your arm.

“Why, thank you for noticing”

“No, that wasn’t a compliment. Check all of my post ops and medication, then fill out the medical records in the computer”

That should keep him busy for the next two hours and away from you.

“Evil” Yelena mumbles, but she’s laughing along.

You take care of a few people, ordering lab tests and other stuff that is quickly taken care of by the staff. It’s nice to have an ER that is never short on medical personnel.

You finish your exam on a patient just in time to get your daily call.

“Hello, Judas”

“Darcy!” you say, always with the same enthusiasm.

“I hate you” she repeats, every day since you left. Well, minus the first week. You didn’t have a phone at all. “Carol hates you too and you’re no longer invited to her wedding”

You can faintly hear Carol’s voice in the background, shouting that what Darcy’s saying is not true.

“I’m trying to get her to come back” Darcy explains. “Look pal, it’s either the good way or the bad way aka getting you in the Psych ward until you go back to your senses”

“I don’t suppose you could get my stuff and send it over?”

“No, for two reasons. One, if I see Wanda I’m going to kill her and dos, you belong here. So it would be stupid to send stuff that you’ll need when you’re back. Besides, how do you know Wanda didn’t throw them away?”

“I just do. Ok, it was nice being emotionally manipulated by you, but I gotta scrub in. Same time on Monday? Remember I’m seeing Zach and Jenny this weekend”

“Yes, get me all the deets on the gossip and yes, same time”

“Love you, pal”

“Screw you”

Darcy hangs up, but stares at her phone for a moment longer. She does miss you and even if she’s giving you shit for it, she understands where you’re coming from.

“Are these the CVs for Chief Fury?”

“Yes” his secretary says, carrying a couple of files. “He doesn’t like to read on the computer”

“Oh, here, I’ll take those”

And Darcy does take them. Straight to the trash can.

Gotta make sure the job’s open when you come back.

—

You’re out of shape. It’s been 27 hours and the work keeps on coming. It doesn’t help that Boston is so much bigger than Westview.

As you sit in one of the front desks, looking over paperwork and lab results, Ed comes in, holding a deck of cards.

“Pick a card”

“Did you get the lab results for Mrs. Pattmore?” you say, resisting the urge to slap the deck to the floor.

“No, they said it would take another hour…”

“Can you check again? Thank you”

Fortunately, he leaves and you sigh.

“He’s quite the character” a man shows up next to you, and you nod.

“He is very useful when I need urgent results from the lab. The technicians can’t stand him so they rather not see him around” you laugh.

 “I haven’t seen you before. I’m doctor Stephen Strange. Yes, that is my last name” he adds when you frown.

“Oh, nice to meet you. Yeah, I’m the interim Head of Trauma. Just until they find someone new”

“Huh. Not what I heard”

Well, there’s no way Melina will convince you to stay. But then again… you never thought you’d take the job in Boston.

“That’s definitely my plan” you assure him. “Were you on break?”

“Honeymoon. We just got back” he nods towards another woman who joins you, her smile wide. “Doctor Christine Palmer, meet… sorry, I didn’t get your name”

“Y/L Y/L/N. Congratulations to the both of you” you shake her hand.

“Thank you, how are you liking it here so far?”

“Everyone’s great” you say, but Christine catches your exhaustion.

“Lorne was just here asking to do a magic trick”

“Ah. That” she nods.

“Yeah” you get paged, and then wave at them. “See you around, and welcome back”

There’s a man coming in with a stab wound. Another shift from your work in Stark Hospital; the frequency of people who come in as a result of fights is a lot higher.

It was very rare to treat these kind of things in Westview.

“BP 130/70, no external bleeding or fractures” Yelena says and you nod, encouraging her to continue. “I want a chest X-Ray, transthoracic echocardiogram and blood work”

“The patient’s yours, Doctor Belova”

You’re honestly impressed. Yelena has been putting the work, and she’s very talented, especially while working under pressure.

“She has a good teacher” Melina speaks. The woman has a talent for knowing what people are thinking.

“Well, it’s in her blood, isn’t it? The whole Romanoff dinasty”

“Yes. By the way, this is your last patient. You’re not to be on call for so many hours in a week. The workload is very different here. And we will talk about a bonus so you can buy something to that girlfriend of yours to thank her for letting you be here”

About that.

Nobody knows Wanda kicked you out.

Except Yelena, but that’s because she kept asking about what Wanda said when you decided to come to Boston. The only way to shut her up was by telling her the truth.

It’s impressive that she’s kept the secret for so long.

“No need for a bonus, I’m doing my job as usual”

While you wait for the results of Yelena’s patient, the man begins to complain about pain between the shoulder blades.

“Lorne, book an OR and page Yelena” you say, knowing that’s a bad sign.

The blonde scrubs in as you begin the laparoscopy.

“What’s wrong? I’m still waiting on the results” she says, standing next to you.

“Pain between the shoulder blades is not a good sign for this type of injury. I’m seeing blood cloths in the anterior surface of the stomach and the liver. We’re switching to a laparotomy”

You find three lacerations in the liver and one in the stomach. Well, Melina’s plan didn’t work; you’re staying here for a bit longer.

As you move to inspect the pericardium, you look at Yelena, asking if she sees anything.

“No, it’s fine. Aside from the diaphragmatic perforation”

“And how are we closing that?”

“Ethibond suture with pledget” she answers after a slight hesitation.

“You’ll do it and I’ll be watching” you nod, moving aside. Truth is, your shoulder is hurting. It’s the old injury combined with the extra workload.

“Need any help?” Natasha walks in, and you shake your head no.

“I thought your shift ended”

“Came to do some post ops, and Doctor Romanoff asked me to help so you could go home”

“I’m fine” you lie. But Natasha stays in the OR, looking over Yelena’s shoulder.

“You’re making me nervous”

“Good. You could use some pressure. Y/N’s going soft on you” the redhead teases.

“I’m not!” you say, laughing. “I’ve been told I’m a great teacher”

“I’ve heard” Natasha nods.

Though Yelena takes a little bit longer than you would have, her work is excellent. Once you check everything’s done, you give the team instructions and scrub out.

“What are you doing with your siblings?” Natasha asks, joining you.

“Well, Jenny’s looking at NYU to apply. So I’ll meet them in New York, take them to a Broadway show. I was hoping they’d wanna go to the Met but not holding my breath for two teenagers to choose a museum”

“That’s fair. Have fun with your family” she smiles.

It’s weird to think about them as your family. They are, of course.

But to you, family is an entirely different group of people. One that you’ll never see again.

“Thanks. See you around” you nod, hoping to get some rest.

—

You never thought you’d be eager to see your family, but here you are, waiting in the airport, looking for Jenny.

As soon as she spots you, she runs towards you.

“Hey, kiddo”

“Make room for me” Zach says, jumping right in and making sure his sister has no room to breathe.

“You’re so annoying!” Jenny complains. Even if she’s three years older, Zach is a lot taller, being in that awkward teenage phase. “This trip was supposed to be just me”

“Y/N invited me” he says.

Well, kinda. He inserted himself in your conversations with Jenny, and as soon as he heard the words weekend in New York, he was ready to go.

“Well, I didn’t alter my girls weekend schedule for you, Zach. So just so you know, you’re getting a manicure and we’re plucking your eyebrows” you tease, walking them to where you parked. Of course they argue over who gets to ride in the front. “Alright, this is a rental. So, rule number one, no eating in the car. No throwing stuff at each other. No feet on the dashboard. And no one changes the music”

“Fine” they agree.

“First stop, the penthouse, then NYU”

Melina had heard about your trip and went out of her way to offer you everything at her disposal. Exclusive tickets, the Romanoff penthouse (apparently they have one in every major city), a reservation in a very nice restaurant.

You took most things happily. In a way, this is your compensation for emotional damages.

“So, what happened between you and Wanda?” Jenny says.

“Wow, can we at least have lunch first?” you accidentally hit the brake, making Zach hit his head against the headrest of your seat.

“I’m blind!”

“You’re fine” Jenny shushes him, turning to you. “I’ll tell you about our parent’s divorce”

“Ugh, deal. But you go first”

So, as you get food, Jenny tells you everything, with the occasional intervention from Zach. It’s nothing exciting, not technically. Their father finally realising your mother is an evil witch and taking their children away from her. It would have been ideal to do it when they were younger, but whatever.

“And you guys are doing good?” you ask, making sure things are better.

“Yeah… I just feel bad for her sometimes” Jenny admits. “Like what if she’s lonely or sad, you know?”

“That’s because you’re a good kid” you smile at her. “Let’s go get changed, we have to be ready for your college tour soon”

“What about your part of the deal?”

“Later” you say, trying to avoid talking about it.

By the time you reach the penthouse, you can’t help but admire the view to Central Park. It’s even bigger than the one they gave to you back in Boston.

“I want the biggest room” Zach says as soon as they drop their bags.

Of course, they’re engaging in a fight that involves some name calling and a lot of finger flicks on the forehead.

“You guys are worse than…”

They turn to look at you and you smile, trying to keep it together.

“Worse than…” Zach says but you shake your head.

“Nothing. Come on, better change fast”

Worse than Wanda and Pietro.

Will you ever stop thinking about her?

—

Earning the title of cool sister only takes a borrowed penthouse, Broadway tickets and exclusive seats at Yankees Stadium.

It’s day two and though you haven’t been able to convince them to go to the Met, you’re still enjoying yourself.

Kind of.

“So how long do these last?” you ask again, even if Zach explained the rules a dozen times already. “Ok, next time we’re going to the US Open because at least I’ll understand the game”

“So, you’re planning on staying here?” Jenny asks and you shrug your shoulders.

“There’s no plan for anything, really. I have two months left on my contract”

Zach goes to get more food and you keep watching the game in silence.

“Are you ok?” Jenny asks. Truthfully, though you’ve enjoyed spending time with them, Wanda’s been in the back of your mind more frequently than when you’re busy with work.

You can’t help but think about all the trips you never took with her, or wonder what she’d think about the city.

“Want the grown up answer or the big sister being brave answer?”

“I’d like the truth”

“Well…” you take a deep breath. “I’m not ok. I fucked up big time. I had everything I wanted within reach and just… I don’t know. Maybe it was never meant for me. It was too good”

“You are good enough for it, come on. Don’t say that”

“It’s hard to believe it when I hurt her so much. And the kids. But, it is what it is I guess”

“I’m sorry. If you wanna talk…”

“I know, sis. Thanks” you smile at her. All of the sudden you hear the crowd roaring and look up to see a ball that’s coming straight your way. You catch it, thinking nothing of it, while some people around you begin to speak to you. “What? Do I have to throw it back?”

“Are you insane?” Zach comes out of nowhere, taking it from you. “This is the coolest thing!”

“It’s a ball” you say, looking at the field.

“Nu-uh. It’s Camarena’s 50th home run. You know, the most promising baseball player of the season”

“Ok, if you say so”

Turns out it is a very big deal, as the player wants the ball back and is offering to meet you in exchange for it. You let Zach decide for the two of you, and his answer is an excited yes.

So, you take a couple of pictures and thank him when he hands you a signed baseball bat.

“Thanks, Carme…”

“Camarena” Zach elbows you. “I’m your biggest fan”

Yeah, you definitely earned the award to coolest sister, and it had nothing to do with all the money you spent. It came down to your ability to catch a freakin ball, like a competition with a golden retriever.

“We still have some time before we have to take the plane. What do you wanna do? You’ve been doing everything we want to” Jenny says, and you think about it.

“Let’s have a picnic in Central Park”

“Sounds fun” she agrees, while Zach keeps taking a million pictures of the bat.

As you walk around the park, you find something that unlocks a memory that was totally lost on you.

“Balto!” you point at a statue of the sleigh dog. They both look at you with blank expressions. “You’ve never seen Balto? Seriously?”

“I don’t know. Mom wouldn’t let us watch some stuff. She said it was silly to have a movie with speaking animals”

“That and Ghostbusters. But we never learned why”

“Oh, that’s because she and dad watched that movie on the day I was born” you explain while you pull out your phone to take a picture of the statue.

“Mom is such a bitch” Zach mutters and it makes you laugh.

“Come on, kid. Screw the picnic, I’m buying you the biggest burger we can find”

“See? I’m her favorite already” he teases Jenny and they begin to argue again. You hug them, staying in the middle to prevent a fight.

“Love ya both, kiddos”

—

Coming back to an empty house stings a bit more when you spent the weekend surrounded by playful banter and pleasant company.

The silence is unbearable and you know that at moments like this there’s only one thing that can make you forget.

So, even if you have to go to work tomorrow, you get changed and head for the usual club.

“Thought you found a better spot” Laura greets you as you approach the bar.

“Work was crazy” is all you say. No one knows your name, or what you do for a living. You just get drinks and dance to loud music.

“The usual?” you nod, accepting the glass of scotch. You enjoy it slowly for a bit, watching as some people dance and party. The outfits and the music are different from your time in college; plus Darcy and you used to go to shitty bars.

Either way, what hasn’t changed is how drunk people act; messy, unaware. You love it. No one’s asking if you’re ok, or why you're there.

“I was gonna buy you a drink, but you’re not done with that one yet” a woman offers with a flirty smile.

You finish what’s left of the scotch in one swift motion, and wink at her.

“There”

“Are you that thirsty, huh?” she teases, and you laugh, sipping from the new glass. “I’m Eve. You?”

“I’m… really thankful for my drink, Eve” you say, because you’re never gonna share your name with anyone else. “Wanna dance?”

The woman rolls her eyes, but follows you to the dance floor. It’s the perfect place to get lost, and avoid any conversation. The music’s loud, there’s people everywhere and you can simply disappear when you’re done.

It’s what you do best, isn’t it?

As you go out for another drink, there’s an impulse to talk to Laura.

“That was the name of a friend”

“What?”

“Laura. Well, not my friend. My ex girlfriend’s friend”

That’s about everything they have in common. This woman is covered in tattoos and has dark hair, styled in a mullet. Very Joan Jett, which is every girl’s type.

But my type is Wanda.

“Is that why you drink until I have to call you a cab?” Laura says, and you nod, taking a shot of tequila and asking for another one.

“Yeah. Come on, just one more” you plea when she’s doubting about giving you a third one. You pout and Laura rolls her eyes. “Thank you. Ah, I love this song!”

You blow her a kiss, running back to the dance floor. Wait, no, you don’t even know this song but it’s cool anyway.

And then the next one is good enough, until you’re a bit too drunk and have no idea what’s playing.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

To your disappointment, it’s a man.

“I’m fine!”

“Yes, you are” he says, putting his arm around your waist.

“I’m gay, dude. Stop it!” you push him away.

“Come on, you just need a good di…”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, not when your fist crashes against his nose.

Stupid move, as he’s tumbling to the floor, creating a commotion. You can tell he’s pissed when he stands up, but he never even gets to yell at you, because someone is pulling you back until you’re out of sight.

“You really are trouble” Laura tsks and you try not to laugh.

“He was an asshole”

“Yeah, he is. If it were up to me he wouldn’t go in at all. I have to get back to the bar. Stay here, drink some water. Then I’ll call you a cab”

“I’m sorry” you say, reaching for her when she walks past you.

“That girl did a number on you, huh?”

“I only have myself to blame” you smile sadly. “Thanks for the help”

Following the woman’s advice, you walk around the room, drinking some water and breathing to gather yourself. You’re vaguely aware of the pain in your hand, and remember that it was stupid to risk yourself that way.

If you can’t operate, Melina’s kicking your ass.

After a while, Laura comes back.

“Car’s waiting”

���Thanks… I owe you...”

“A cup of coffee”

You’re about to protest when she rolls her eyes.

“Not as a date. You have too many issues for me to handle. But I’d rather we stop meeting like this, with you starting a bar fight”

“Yeah, that’s fair” you smile, looking back before leaving the room. “My name’s Y/N, by the way”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N”

—

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

That’s all you can think about as you get ready for a 24 hour shift, sporting a massive headache and hangover.

You’re leaning against the elevator when the doors open, and you speak without opening your eyes, handing the keys of the car to Yelena.

“You’re gonna have to drive me today”

“Yelena already left”

You look up a little too fast, eyes meeting Natasha’s.

“Ah, jeez” you complain, feeling your head pound with the sudden movement.

“Rough night?” she says with a mocking tone, but then pays attention to your bruised knuckles, taking your hand. “What the hell? Are you ok?”

“Dude thought he could touch me and get away with it. It’s fine” you promise, though she doesn’t let go of your hand.

“You know mom’s gonna freak out when she sees this?”

“Don’t be a snitch, Romanoff” you say, stepping out of the elevator. “What are you doing?”

“Get in my car” she says, rolling her eyes. “You’re in no condition to drive”

“This is nice” you look around the Mercedes-Benz, reaching to touch the controls in the dashboard. Natasha slaps your hand away.

“Nicer than the Corvette?”

“Nah, let’s not get crazy”

“Did you have a nice weekend with the family?” she asks, rolling into conversation naturally.

“Yeah, we went to see Wicked because Jenny wanted to, then to a Yankees game where I caught the ball, which is apparently a big deal”

“It is, congrats”

“They made me buy some clothes that are not scrubs or…”

“Mini skirts? Like the one you wore last night”

“How did you…”

“My penthouse is in the same building, remember? Same as Yelena’s. Mom was smart enough to get a house away from everyone”

“Right”

“Doesn’t Wanda mind?”

That shuts you up real fast. And honestly? You don’t feel like lying. But as you’re about to answer her, she stops in the parking lot.

“Sorry, it’s none of my business” she mistakes your silence with annoyance.

“No, that’s not it” you explain, but then your phone pings. It’s a message from Jenny, sending you the Instagram post she made for the weekend in New York.

J: You made it to the gram!

Youths. You don’t even have instagram but click the link nonetheless. Yeah, those are nice pictures.

“Oh, you two came together?” Melina greets when she meets you in the hallway.

“Y/N can explain why” Natasha smirks and you glare at her.

“I was just feeling tired after the family trip”

“Natalia, who will be your plus one to the gala?” Melina changes the subject abruptly.

“I’m not taking anyone”

You direct your attention back to your phone, knowing they’re about to argue.

As you swipe through the pictures, a name catches your eye.

w.maximoff

What?

Does Wanda follow your sister?

She saw the pictures and liked them? Even if you were in them?

Don’t be an idiot, don’t think this means anything, she hates you, she’s better off without you.

The sudden urge to throw up has nothing to do with your hangover. You look around the hallway, and feel the desire to turn around and beg her to take you back.

You miss her too much, you can’t do this without Wanda.

Who are you kidding?

“Take Y/N” you hear all of the sudden.

“What?”

“Take Y/N to the gala with you” Melina decides, making Natasha roll her eyes.

“She doesn’t want to…”

“Yes. I’ll go” you interrupt Natasha.

Anything, anything at all to stop thinking about the one person who made your life worth living.

“Then it’s settled” your boss nods, pleased.

“Excuse me” you walk away, hoping there’s a ton of work that can keep your mind off everything else.

There is, and you’re grateful for the distraction it provides.

“I’m exhausted. How are you managing with a hangover?” Yelena complains after a few hours.

“Get some rest,” you mutter, looking at the lab results. “The OR won’t be ready for another hour anyway”

Unfortunately, it gets very slow as the day progresses. Everyone in the hospital is focused on a kidney transplant that is happening next week.

You see a woman walk in with her son to the ER and approach them.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Y/L/N. How can I help you?”

“Hi, yes. My son fell and I’m not sure, I think he might have hurt his wrist”

You turn to look at the kid, who is probably ten or eleven, and he looks back at you scared.

“I understand. What’s your name?”

“Kyle”

“Hi, Kyle. I’m Y/L. Can I take a look at your wrist?”

It takes him a moment to nod, but once he does you take him to one of the hospital beds where he sits. As you put on a pair of gloves, he looks around, clearly nervous.

“Cool shirt” you make conversation, noticing his Yoshi shirt. “My favorite is Rainbow Road, but the best time I ever did was on Vanilla Lake”

“Really? My favorite is Koopa Troopa Beach”

“That’s a good one” you agree, applying pressure on his wrist. “Ok, I don’t think anything’s broken but we need an X-ray to confirm. I’ll walk you there, it will take a minute”

Thankfully, it’s just a sprain.

“You’ll just wear a brace for a week, I’m also sending some medication for pain. Now, you’re gonna have to hold up on playing Mario Kart for a bit, as the movement isn’t good for your hand. Take it easy and if there’s any more discomfort or pain, come back to the hospital”

“Thank you” the woman nods, relieved that it’s nothing major. You’re about to say goodbye when her son hugs you.

“Take care, kid”

As you watch them walk away, your mind goes back to Billy and Tommy.

You miss them so much.

“Everything ok?” Yelena asks when you leave in a rush, walking towards the stairs.

Instead of answering her, you go down the steps, until you push the emergency exit, breathing heavily.

Don’t cry at work, don’t cry at work.

It’s not working. You squeeze your eyes shot, pinching the bridge of your nose.

A sob leaves your lips the minute Yelena catches up with you.

“It’s ok. I’m here” she says, hugging you.

“I miss them”

“I know. I’m sorry” is all she says, allowing you to cry as you lean your head on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be…” you finally gather yourself, wiping away the tears. Your face is hot with the embarrassment of being so emotional in front of Yelena.

“I understand. There’s nothing to be sorry about. Come on, you should get some sleep. I’ll cover the ER for a bit”

“Ok” you nod. But she still follows you to the break room, and as you lay in bed, Yelena makes small talk, asking about your trip and telling you some funny things that used to happen to her and Natasha when their mother would leave them to roam the city while she had board meetings.

As she tells you about her favorite things from the Met, your eyes feel heavy and you fall asleep, exhausted.

The younger woman looks at you, feeling a bit guilty. She understands that everyone in this situation is an adult, and sometimes relationships don’t work.

But it’s still hard to see you so heartbroken and lonely.

“Hey” Natasha walks in the room, and Yelena shushes her, leaning her head towards you. “Is she ok?”

“I don’t know” the blonde admits, closing the door behind her.  “What’s up?”

“Mom told me you’re bringing a plus one to the gala! I thought we agreed no dates for this one”

“Oh, yeah…” Yelena blushes, and Natasha tilts her head.

“Who is it?”

“So, what are you doing? Should we find you a date?” Yelena rushes to change the subject, walking with her sister to the cafeteria.

“No, Y/N volunteered. Or, my mother kinda forced her to”

“Maybe it will be good to have a distraction. She’s having a rough time”

Natasha stays silent as they get some food. To be honest, she has been distant with you. It was hard to get close again after all the hard words you exchanged.

Natasha was just trying to protect herself.

“So you’re not gonna tell me who it is?” Natasha insists after a moment of silence. Yelena laughs, shaking her head.

“You’ll find out soon enough”

—

You open your eyes to the sound of your pager. The OR was busy for longer than anticipated and you’re about to go and check if everyone’s ready.

While you yawn, you dial Yelena’s number.

“Hello?” you hear Natasha’s voice.

“Why are you answering Yelena’s phone?” you say, doble checking that you indeed called her sister.

“Oh, crap. I took her phone by accident”

“Hey” you step out of the room, and find none other than Natasha, ready to leave for the day. “Guess your mother bought these phones in bulk”

You show her the mobile Melina gave you, though you insisted in keeping your number. It’s identical to Yelena’s and Natasha’s and every head of department has one as well.

“Heads up, she might be tracking your location”

“What? Can she do that?” you say, shaking the phone. Natasha smiles at that.

She forgets not everyone is expecting the worst from Melina.

“I better go and exchange phones with Yelena” the redhead says.

“Sure, can you tell her that the OR’s ready? Thanks”

You leave, but then Natasha’s voice stops you.

“Do you wanna do something tomorrow?”

There’s a hint of shock in your face, but you nod and smile.

“Yeah, sure. Wanna come over to watch a movie?”

“Sounds good” she agrees.

“Alright. See ya then” you wave goodbye.

Between this and the gala, Natasha doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to spend so much time together.

She’s about to find out.

—

Natasha is questioning her choices as she knocks on your door, thinking it might be unwise to spend alone time with you.

She had felt like you both got some closure after the emergency surgery on that woman. And then, one week later you had shown up at her hospital, as if you hadn’t refused the offer a number of times.

As if the thought of leaving your precious girlfriend behind wasn’t the craziest thing in the world.

“Hey, come on in” you greet, opening for her.

“Love what you’ve done with the place” she teases, watching as the only real decoration is a Polaroid picture of you and Yelena that is taped to the fridge.

“I’m happy this thing came with furniture or we’d be having dinner on the floor”

“Martha Stewart would be proud” she says and you roll your eyes.

“Come on, food will be ready in a bit” you say, asking her to open the bottle of wine.

“Where’d you get it from?”  she asks as she hands you a glass.

“Uh, the grocery store?” you look back from the stove.

“Wait, you’re making it? From scratch?” she puts her glass down, looking over your shoulder.

“Well, not from scratch, it’s not like I made the pasta”

“I thought you didn’t cook”

“I didn’t” you smile, offering her a taste of the sauce. “But I got used to the finer things in life, like a good old homemade meal, and had to figure out how to get something done”

“This is actually really good” she says, surprised.

“I will give you a pass because I am also surprised that my cooking’s not so bad”

It must have been because you used to watch Wanda cooking all the time.

Ah, shit.

Maybe eventually you’ll go a day without thinking about her. Or not, and that’s your karma for being an idiot.

Once everything’s ready, you pull out two plates, and serve the food.

“What do you wanna watch?”

“Not sure, could we eat first?”

“Why, want to check that I won’t give you food poisoning?” you joke, but Natasha doesn’t laugh. “Oh, come on! I’ve never gotten sick and it’s been a month!”

“Let’s just eat”

“Fine, are you sure you’re gonna be ok talking to me? You’ve been avoiding me since I arrived in Boston” you comment, though you can’t be mad at her.

It was easier to blame her for your screw up that own up to it. You’re not particularly proud of it.

“I wasn’t sure if your girlfriend would give you shit for talking to me”

“We’re not together anymore” you blurt out, making Natasha stop chewing.

“You’re shitting me”

“She broke up with me” you shrug your shoulders. “So I quit my job and ran away like the asshole I am”

There’s a beat of silence, and you keep eating. You’re not expecting anything from Natasha, like pity or words of comfort. It’s just the way things are.

“I had no idea… I’m sorry. I feel responsible”

“Nat, don’t. Honestly, you weren’t wrong. I am attracted to you, and I didn’t set boundaries. If anything, I’m sorry for being a jerk and ruining our friendship”

She keeps eating quietly, and you know that she accepted the apology without making a fuss about it.

“Crazy, stupid love” you mumble after a couple of minutes.

“Yeah, I guess it can be”

“No” you snort out a laugh. “I mean that’s the movie I wanna watch!”

“Oh, I don’t know it” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Of course not, it’s not a Bond movie. Come on, now that you’ve seen my food won’t take you to the ER, let’s get everything ready” you say, picking up the dishes. Maybe you’ll make popcorn, even though you are full.

“Wait a minute” Natasha says, and when you turn around, she’s got you cornered against the kitchen counter.

“Huh?”

“You said you are attracted to me. Not were. So you still are” she smirks, eyeing you up and down.

“Well, yeah. Have you seen yourself?” you stutter. It’s not helping that you’ve gotten used to physical intimacy and you’ve been craving it for the past weeks.

But that makes you think of Wanda again.

“I just… you deserve more than being a rebound, Natasha. And I am serious when I say I’m not staying beyond my contract”

You know you can’t be someone who isn’t heartbroken and in love with Wanda. But you can at least be honest about it.

“I know. It’s just fun to watch you get all flustered” she says with a sultry voice.

“Not funny” you say, pushing her away.

“Let’s watch that silly, corny movie now” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“You’re gonna love it”

“Doubt it”

As you suspect, she’s critizing Cal at every possible turn, calling him a loser. She’s also constantly texting about the hospital in between complaints.

“Hey!” she protests when you snatch her phone.

“I know we’re both workaholics, but you’re missing the parts with Emma Stone which are arguably the best ones. And this big reveal will blow your mind”

So, you put both of your phones down in the coffee table and take it as a win when she’s laughing at some of the moments in the film.

“Hannah is Cal’s daughter?” Natasha screams when you get to that scene.

“See?”

“Damn!”

“Bathroom break” you announce a while later, leaving the movie playing as you know the dialogues.

Natasha is actually interested in the movie when her phone rings and she picks up without looking away from the screen.

“Hello?”

She’s met with silence, which makes her actually pay attention to whoever called her.

Shit.

Wanda.

She took your phone.

But before she can explain or tell the other woman to wait, the call disconnects.

“What’s wrong?” you say when you return, sitting next to Natasha. “I know it’s sad, but I promise it has a happy ending”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry”

“Nat, you’re scaring me”

“I thought it was my phone, I picked it up. Wanda called you” Natasha says, handing over the phone to you.

“Oh” you tilt your head, shocked. “What did she say?”

“Nothing. She hung up. I’m so sorry”

“Well, maybe she just wanted me to get my stuff. That’s the only reason she’d call me, honestly” you say, returning to the movie.

“Why aren’t you freaking out?” Natasha insists.

“I don’t know” you confess. Maybe you’re in shock. It feels surreal to have Wanda call you, after everything she said to you.

You left your old phone at Darcy’s house before jumping on a plane. You only got your old number back after Melina gave you one of those fancy phones.

Now you wonder if she ever tried to call you.

“I should go”

“And leave me to drown in obsessive thoughts?” you say dramatically. “Look, what’s the harm here? That she’ll think the worst of me, and then what? We broke up. She kicked me out, I’m gone like Wanda asked me to. I’ll just text Pietro and ask if the kids are ok”

That was your real concern. You had a feeling that it could be a mistake or something very serious. And you’d always put your pride aside for the sake of the kids.

“We’re watching a horror movie now” Natasha snatches the remote as soon as the credits roll, looking for Insidious. “That will distract you for sure”

—

“You’re evil” you say when Natasha walks out, laughing.

“And you’re a baby”

“There was a demon! Sewing while that creepy song played. You’re sick, Romanoff”

“Sweet dreams, Y/N” she says, whistling the song as she closes the door.

Now you won’t be able to sleep.

But there’s also another thing in the back of your mind.

Pietro hasn’t answered which can mean that it Wanda's call was a mistake and he’s choosing to ignore you.

Or something so monumentally horrible happened that he doesn’t even have his phone on him.

“Fuck it” you say, trying to control your breathing as you dial back.

You begin to feel like an idiot, especially when it’s pretty obvious Wanda won’t pick up the phone.

Hands squeeze the device as you deal with the disappointment. You are about to hang up when you hear it.

Wanda, saying your name.

And for a moment, you feel like everything’s ok again.

[sexlapis]

one shot. angst & fluff.

“Don’t even look at me!” You spit at Nanami. “You don’t even fucking love me anymore.”

Nanami sighs. “Baby, that’s not-“”

“No, no,” you storm away from, going back to furiously washing the dishes like you were doing before he arrived home from work, “seriously. Just go back to your coworkers and have fun with them instead of me. Go have drinks with them or something. Since that’s clearly what you want.”

Nanami gulps. He watches you angrily scrub at a dish, fireing away at an annoying stain.

He takes off his suit jacket.

“Sweetheart.” He walks up behind you, like you’re a skittish, feral cat about to pounce. He wraps his arms around your waist from behind, an act which you surprisingly accept. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t give you your kisses.” Nanami kisses your temple. “I was just in a hurry.”

You and Nanami had a routine - he gives you one kiss in the morning, your voice croaky and the crust still caked in the corners of your eyes and one kiss before he leaves for work.

He seems to have forgotten this, much to your dismay.

You huff, not facing him. “…I’m not being ‘sensitive’ or ‘crazy’. They’re important things and you forgot.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy.”

You turn your head to face him this time. “Just sensitive?”

“Well…yes.”

Rolling your eyes, you whip back around to continue washing the dishes.

“Wait. Wait.” Nanami prevents you from turning away from him again. He asks his next question softly. “Is it really just two kisses you’re upset about?”

“Because it’s not fair, Kento!” You shout. The sudden outburst stuns him a little, his heart jumping. “You can’t just leave without saying goodbye!”

Your last word is choked out in a sob and Nanami is quick to pull you to his chest.

He thought you were only joking, being light-hearted and would go back to your usual self after a few kisses, but now? He doesn’t think so.

How long have you been feeling like this? Carrying all of these feelings of worry and distress inside of you, keeping them all stored inside of you until, inevitably, all would be revealed anyway.

It pains him that you didn’t tell him almost as much as the fact that you’re feeling like this in the first place.

It makes him even more resolute in his decision.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this?”

You sniffle. “Because of your stupid job and your stupid long hours and your stupid-“”

“Okay, okay.” He shushes you, cupping the base of your head. “Alright”.

You groan. You’ve seemingly come to the realisation that you’ve been acting unreasonably.

“Kenny, I-“”

“I’m going to quit.”

You pause. You look at him, teary eyes wide. “What?”

“I’m going to quit. Do something else. Something…safe.”

“But…but what about when you said-“”

“Forget about what I said. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. I can’t do this forever. And…I want you to…I don’t want you to always be worrying about me. Especially if it makes you so stressed out.”

“Kenny…”

A few seconds later, your face is being cradled in big, rough hands. Nanami makes sure you’re looking at him. “You’re my number one priority, okay? Not my coworkers. Not my job.”

Waters ripples in your eyes once more. “Kento…”

“Don’t cry.” He wipes a stray tear away with his thumb. His eyes are soft. The weight of the job is already being lifted off of his shoulders. “I love you. I love you.”

You hiccup. “I love you too.”

Nanami can’t help but smile at your wet face, red nose and runny nostrils. He cradles the back of your head with his hand. “You’re so silly, angel.”

You whine into his chest and he knows everything will be alright.

[mxrtixnzwrld]

What's Wrong w/ Nanami?

Synopsis! you've working for Jujutsu Tokyo for a while now as Nanami's secretary and you're sick of how your schedule leaks into your personal life. you go to quit and nanami isn't havin' it.

Pairing! kento n. x fem. reader

Content. MDNI! office au, ceo. nanami, jealousy, 'work wife' usage, series, piv, proposal, petnames, gojo mention, higuruma mention, intern itadori + more

Word Count! 2.1k

Authors Note! this story is very loosely inspired by 'whats wrong with secretary kim' and it kinda gave cocky nanami so i decided to write my own little version of it as my first series of this page. i'll add tags as i post more chapters of the series but please let me know if you have any recommendations for the series.

You have been working for Mr. Nanami for a couple of years now and finally understood why he was so feared respected by his coworkers. You were hired as an assistant secretary and bound to replace his current secretary.

-

"He's not that bad once you work here long enough.." Shoko mumbled as she exhaled the deep breath of smoke from her cigarette.

"I'm not too worried about it, but what'd Miss Yuki get fired for?" You asked, looking at her as you took a bite of your lunch. Her eyes met yours as she chuckled.

"She had relations with President Gojo, and Nanami found out," Shoko answered for you to pause.

"As long as you keep your head down and do your job, you should be good-" Shoko continued before the door swung open to reveal Kiyotaka.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Miss (name); Nanami would like to see you in his office." He says, walking up to you and Shoko's table. The umbrella above you rustled with the small gusts of wind as you looked at Kiyotaka, annoyed.

"Can it wait a bit? I wanted to finish-"

Before you can get the sentence out, Nanami walks out the door with an irritated look on his face, coming straight towards you. Kiyotaka shrunk and silently snuck away as Nanami got to your table.

"Miss (name). You clearly didn't understand your job description if you are 4 minutes late to a meeting as important as this one." Nanami huffed as he stood before you and Shoko, who mirrored the same look of surprise.

"But sir, my scheduled break is-"

"I can move it back to later. Please pack your things and follow me; it wouldn't look good if I had to fire you your first couple months here for your incompetence." He stated in a calm, chilling tone, making you straighten up and throw your belongings in your bag before standing and waving back at Shoko as you followed Nanami to his meeting.

-

Now, in your years here, you have his schedule down to the letter. You come early to meetings, and he doesn't even have to ask you for daily documents. But the longer you work at Jujutsu Tokyo, the more you realize that your life revolves more and more around your CEO. All of which brings you to your current moment now.

"You're quitting?" Nanami asked as he looked at your resignation letter.

"Sadly, yes, Mr Nanami." You answer, bowing silently as he stares at you in disbelief. You had been the best secretary he's had in a while. Always on time: punctual, you had even stopped to do the little things like fix his suit and run and get his lunch no matter how big the order. All while staying on top of your work with your intern Yuuji Itadori.

"I don't see the issue, sir. You have Itadori to help you with your tasks and-"

"He isn't as experienced as you."

"Well, whip him into shape the same way you did me." You huff, maintaining your tone of respect, causing him to sigh and rest his head in his hand.

"Can you wait until after the company's art gallery opens?" He pinched his nose as his room filled with thick air.

"I suppose.. but after that, I must take my leave." You sigh as he looks up at you.

"Of course; you have until then to train Itadori to be your work clone." He says for your eye to twitch. Getting in your position with Nanami took years, and he expected you to do that all in 6 months?

"I will try my best, sir."

"Good."

You exited his office and softly closed the door before returning to your desk to text Shoko and the Marketing Manager Tsuki about what had just happened.

Nanami slouched in his office. He had just gotten used to you, and you just want to quit? You were the best candidate for the job, but something else pulled at him. You were completely right; he had Itadori, so why couldn't you leave?

He didn't want you to leave.

You were too important to the company.

Too important to him.

No! He sat up in his chair and sighed, focusing back on the pile of paperwork on his desk that seemed to pile up with upcoming events and meetings. Although well spaced out, it was all still so stressful.

His mind wandered and wandered before he reigned it back in. He couldn't think of you as anything more than an employee. An asset to his company... a big asset that he was going to lose if he didn't convince you to stay, and he would have to figure out how. And quick.

–

“Shoko, Mr Nanami would like to see you.” You walk up to the cubicles as eyes turn to you. Childish oo's went over the desks as she stood and chuckled.

“Did he say what for?” She asked for you to shrug with Itadori following you in toe. Ever since that meeting, you made sure to keep Itadori around at all times possible to make sure he got the most information about her job as he could.

You walked through the hallway with sounds of clicking from heels, shoes, and typing, filling the silence as you led Shoko to Nanami’s office, which was covered by a huge door. 

“Good luck, soldier.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m good.” Shoko chuckles as you knock on Nanami’s office door. He replies with a quiet ‘come in,’ causing you to open the door to see Nanami sitting at his desk writing, not even making eye contact with you. Shoko stepped through the door, and you swiftly closed it, sitting back at your desk.

“He seems real intense.” Itadori sighed as you nodded and opened your tabs on the two monitors on your desk to pull up Nanami’s schedule along with your emails.

“He is. That’s kind of the reason I’m leaving..” You sigh as you look at him.

“You seem so good at your job, though! And it seems to pay well.” He says, watching your screen as you go through emails, swiftly replying and occasionally sharing emails.

“The pay is good, but I heard Higuruma is hiring a new secretary for his law firm, and since Jujutsu Tokyo and his law firm are in good connections, I thought it’d be better to move over there.” You explain.

“Is your job hard? I’ve only been here for a month or two, but it doesn’t seem that busy.” Itadori asked. The two of you sit in silence as the sound of your computer fills the area. Nanami wasn't horrible to you when it came to your office. If it was empty, you could snack on something small before your lunch, and your desk was decorated and even had a humidifier that sat on the edge of your desk.

 “It’s not too hard, but it gets in the way… I haven’t been out anywhere in a while, and I don’t like using my PTO unless it’s an emergency. Especially since I’m so close to Mr. Nanami at all times, I usually just go to work and sleep because of his overtime. If he’s in a good mood, I can go home early, but my schedule doesn’t clear up at all.” You rant lowly to the younger man.

“Higuruma’s past secretaries have said that he’s not as bad when it comes to scheduling since his law firm isn’t as big as Jujutsu Tokyo overall.” 

“Do you think I could live up to that? The expectation, I mean.” Itadori asked before you rested a hand on his head. You ruffle his hair and smile at him comfortingly. The job was hard, but with encouragement, it was manageable. The only difference is that when you started, there was no encouragement unless it came from Kiyotaka or Shoko, and it took a while for one of them to even speak to you outside of regular work conditions.

“Of course, you could. If he selected you as an intern, then he sees enough potential for you to be his next secretary.” He smiled and lifted his arm to flex, pulling back his sleeve to show his muscle.

“For you; I’ll do my best!” His optimism always made you smile. It was so infectious. 

You chuckle and make small talk, asking him how he even ended up applying here to this dead-end job.

–

“You asked for me, Nanami?” Shoko asked for Nanami and looked up at her with tired eyes that could pierce someone's soul. He had stayed up the night before, making sure everything was perfect for the concept of an art show. Making sure his pitch and tone were perfect for the upcoming meeting.

“Jeez, you look stressed,” Shoko said with a lopsided smile as Nanami pushed up from his mahogany desk to stand tall. His suit perfectly highlighted his muscular body.

“You’re close with Ms.(name) correct?” He asked, ignoring the informality due to their high school years.

“Close enough.” 

“How would I stop her from quitting?” He asked for Shoko to pause. That was out of the ordinary for him. Nanami, to everyone else, was the type to fire someone at the drop of the hat. Even in scenarios where good secretaries left the company, he was never usually caught up on it and just hired another one. 

“Why, if I may ask, are you concerned about her quitting? Don’t you usually hire a new one?” She asked as Nanami walked around his desk and leaned on it so they could speak face to face. 

“Well… I’ve noticed before she resigned that she was already unmotivated, and she shows a good amount of talent that I haven’t seen in any of my past secretaries.” He explained, knowing that it was only half of the full truth. 

“Well, she doesn’t get out much. She probably feels the way you do since you two basically have the same schedule.” She sighs for Nanami to respond with a pinch of his nose along with a frustrated sigh. 

His office sat silent as the two talked. He knew that he was stressed, but she didn’t do much when they were in the office together. At the most, she fetched paperwork missing from his pile and made sure to inform him of any meetings that were added last minute to his schedule.

“So, give her more days off? She could’ve asked for that any time before that.” He huffed.

“The last time she did, you had an attitude about it, so I guess she decided not to do it after that.” 

“So what should I do?” He asked again

“Well, you can try being more lenient with her. Try to be more nice. Like if I didn’t know you, I would have thought that you’re a no-shit CEO who won’t tolerate any mistake.” She sighed.

“Hmm, I think I came up with something. Thank you for your information, Shoko, please make sure to give Ms.(name) her documents before the end of the work day; I’d rather not have her stay longer than she usually does.” He nods as she nods back. She leaves with a bow, being met with you and Itadori giggling at your desk as the two talk amongst eachother. 

“Ok! Ok! I’ll organize the files the way you showed me.” He laughed as you put him in a playful headlock. 

“What are you two doing?” Shoko asked, getting a gasp from you before you moved away from Itadori.

“Shoko! You scared me!” You say, straightening up in your chair.

“Ms.(name) was just showing me where each file goes, but there are so many I lost track,” Itadori replied.

“Well, you two should tighten up. Nanami seems irritated.” Shoko said for you to nod. She walked back to her cubicle before Nanami came out moments after.

“Itadori, are you good with notes?” He asked Itadori for the boy to scramble to his feet and enthusiastically nodded.

“Good. Ms.(name) take the rest of the day off. I will teach Itadori anything he needs to learn while you are off.” He says calmly, for you and Itadori to look at eachother as if the sky started falling.

“D-Did I do something wrong, Mr.Nanami?” You asked him to shake his head in response.

“Of course not, Ms.(name). You have seemed stressed as of late, so I would like you to take a day off to recuperate; take some time for yourself.” He said for you to look up at him amazed without a sound.

“Wait, Ms.(name)! Before you go, can we exchange numbers, just in case?” Itadori asked for you to smile and hand him your phone. After you exchange numbers, you begin to pack your bag to leave.

What's going on with him?

©mxrtixnzwrld. do not copy, modify, translate, repost any of my work! reblogging is greatly appreciated!!

next page ->

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

As I’m writing my responses for the character asks, I think it’s about time I did somewhat of a character ramble on Cold.

(At least, my personal reading of him. I may be wrong about him, since he’s the one who had given me the most trouble[due to how emotional I am as a person]. Or maybe you can see this as a different perspective? Feel free to add more or correct me though.)

(This will be long though (and really messy), so I’m putting a cut here)

One thing that I feel is important to Cold’s character is that he is not completely emotionless. Emotionally suppressed, yes, but not completely emotionless.

I personally think it’s more accurate to describe Cold as “being detached” than “emotionless”. He can feel emotions and care for the other voices(in his own way), as you can see in routes like Moment of Clarity where he attempts to teach the voices to be unfeeling(and later feeling frustrated about not being about to help them numb it down) and in PatD, where he had acknowledged that he had missed “The Decider” and showed annoyance towards Oppy in his lack of ability to commit to his choices.

The most notable example of him showing emotion is his hostility towards the Narrator, which is quite a feat to be made since Cold really doesn’t seem to hate any of the voices. Annoyed, sure, but he doesn’t seem to dislike any of them.

His interest towards Anger

For a voice claiming to be unfeeling, he sure is attracted to the emotion of anger and prodding the one who’s angry to inflict it on him.

One thing I’ve noticed about him is that he would often push a person to act acts of violence on him, specifically those who had lost their sense of purpose and are furious about it. Three clear examples I can think of at the top of my head are Stubborn, Smitten, and Fury. All three of them are furious, or at least feeling really crummy about losing their purpose.

Stubborn, as his purpose was to enjoy a fight with the Princess and win against her, or just to fight her for the rest of eternity.

Smitten, as his purpose was to be the knight in shining armour for Damsel and save her from her prison.

As for Fury, depending on the route you get her from, was given a purpose by you. She is to be the Adversary that could handle your every punch, or the Tower who is destined to end to world.

And yet, because of your choices, their purpose have been taken away from them.

What is an Adversary without her opponent? What is a God without a believer?

Out of all the emotions for Cold to choose and take an interest towards, why anger?

Anger is one of the most intense emotions to ever be felt. But at the same time, it comes from a place of hurt and vulnerability. Your heart.

In Wraith, Cold’s more spiteful side is amplified when you had paired him up with Cheated, with the both of them ganging up on the Narrator and had decided that they don’t want to listen to the Narrator anymore and would much rather free the Princess. In many of the routes featuring Cold, he is shown to be opposing Narry in every way, and would do anything to annoy and piss the Narrator off just to spite him. Unlike how he provokes the voices, which is for his own amusement, he genuinely hates the Narrator.

Which makes me wonder if that’s the emotion Cold felt before you stabbed yourself—anger and betrayal. But before those emotions were settled fully, it was quickly gone away with a stab in the heart. Perhaps a part of him wants to feel that same anger again? Because that was the first ever emotion he had ever felt before it was quickly taken away from him and was replaced with that numbness? Or perhaps, he seeks understanding from the others?

Cold and Purpose

Cold is unique in a way where he really isn’t active at all when compared to the other voices. He’s even more passive than Broken. He has no goals, no ambition, no drive to do anything. In fact, he’s really more of a spectator. He isn’t a knight to come save a damsel in distress, or a broken soul seeking refuge in a god, or an unfortunate guy getting screwed over by the world around him and seeks justice. He’s just here to watch.

After all, he had already fulfilled his purpose a long time ago in chapter one. And at the end, that purpose meant nothing at all, as he is discarded like a used tool after his purpose had been fulfilled. There is no point doing anything else but to watch. All he could do now is to encourage you to do literally anything that isn’t nothing.

(That also explains why he’s so angry at you in the everyone hates you ending, since you have discarded him and the other voices carelessly like tools you could use. In his eyes, you are being just like the Narrator. He’s got abandonment issues I feel.)

In conclusion???

I… don’t really have a good conclusion to this. I really just wanted to put my thoughts regarding Cold as a character and then share it.

Cold is an intriguing character to say the least, with him having many contradictions and yet coming together perfectly to create him. He is playful as much as he is tragic. He is unfeeling and yet he cares anyway despite the fact that he really didn’t have to. He is rooted in the present, but longs for something that had already been lost in the past. He holds grudges as much as he is easygoing.

He prides himself in having the ability to distance himself from the pain and doubt in order to get the job done. And yet in the end, he yearns to feel again.

There is a warmth underneath his unfeeling skin. You just have to really dig for it.

[dokjafang]

the yan vn community is a bit hectic,

Whats your opinion on the indie visual novels with yandere characters?

People get intense with games to be honest. Though, root cause is pride to be honest. Unfortunate. Hopefully, things cool down sooner rather than later. I don't get involved with networking, so I'm not a direct associate to the yan vn community.

WARNING: My controversial opinions. Things I keep to myself. But, you did ask for my opinion so here. Also, casual and unstructured content.

Well I like playing them, or watching gameplays of it. Usually, though, I wouldn't say a lot of characters are my type. Most of the characters are my friend's type, not mine. So rarely will I play yandere visual novels. Usually on the emotional side or um, just know a lot of them aren't my type!

Also, ANY visual novels... well, I honestly treat it the same way as any other story or book. It's just another story to play through. Sure, it has visuals, but what matters most to me is story and characters. Like, if the MC genuinely irritates me (usually ENFP's, ESFJ's, or ENFJ's protagonists irritate me most), then I will not play the game no matter what. I can tolerate things; but honestly I can't play a game, where I have to constantly deal with an annoying character.

It's also one of the reasons why I didn't get so far playing Love and Deepspace. I heavily dislike the MC there. Too emotional for my tastes, too outspoken, and frankly? I'm no dom, you won't find any dom bone in this tiny body of mine. haha So yeah. But mostly, MC personality irritates me. Things like that. It also goes for yanderes and plots in general.

I play games to have fun, and I don't have any expectations for yandere visual novels. I play for just relaxation; because I know it's once-in-a-blue-moon will I ever find an actual yandere that vibes with me.

Because most of the time, the male yanderes I like are what people consider "abusive" and what most consider not yandere. People say it's plain abuse shiz and all. But for me? Food. Like for me, my favorite "love story" manhwa of all time is this one:

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THIS STORY. WHO IS THE PREY.

BOTH THE NOVEL AND MANHUA. YES I LOVE IT. Why?

Don't ask. Reminds me of my husband and I hardcore. Like among all stories I've read (that I haven't written), it's this one that resonated most.

So... you can already tell I have unconventional tastes. People hate this man. lol. But I love this story. Hardcore, reminds me of my own love story wahhhh so it's really close to my heart. 🖤🖤🖤

OH WAIT! I REMEMBER. I love this character because reminds me of my husband. People hardcore say he's not yandere, but I consider him one:

YANNNGGGG. I love this man.

Among all yanderes I've seen, this guy was most memorable for me. Yes, choke meee.

A lot of yanderes are on the soft, emo, creepy but wholesome, or what you generally read on most manhwa, for example. But, truly unhinged or unapologetic villain yanderes? Rareeee.

It's why I'm starving hardcore for content. Like actual confident + doesn't need validation from darling + unapologetic + sadistic + intelligent + truly black flag yanderes. That's my type.

Listen. I play games, write, or do anything really because I love my husband. Truly do. So anything that reminds me of him makes me happy.

Anyways.

There's this one story my friend played. People may not like or vibe with it, but it's called "Boyfriend to Death (BTD)". Never played it but my friend chatted it about it with me since she finished the game, and it's my kind of vibe. I don't like the graphics so I wouldn't play it. But the survival horror and genuine aim for your life? Well, that's dope. So, basically stuff like that is my kind of vibe.

Sorry, I do play otome games and visual novels, but usually it's not even yandere. The personalities are never vibing with me :((. It's difficult to even find fanfiction or stories in general with truly confident, unapologetic yanderes. Like truly strong.

My husband is like that, and well... I can't find any wahahahha. Oh well. At least I have food now in the form of writing.

Rambled but yeah. To me, visual novels, whether yandere or not, well, just another video game to me. As long as the game is generally fun to play and doesn't irritate me, then I'll play it. I don't really care nor get involved in community stuff; because I just want to have fun playing. And, I keep to myself, so yeah.

[persicipen]

i could write essays at this point. i do not want valid criticism to just sink in between mindless hate or words from people who repeat someone’s opinions without forming their own. i love this game. i love it enough to play every single day and still enjoy many aspects of it while simply growing more and more disappointed. experimenting with style usually happens at the beginning. not at the end of the story. yes, we are in the fifth out of six nations and around two years from finishing the main plot.

the game already has an established fanbase. we all started playing because of how it used to look and feel. why do they now feel like changing the iconic and recognisable core design traits just to fit in with their other titles? why even make different games if eventually all of them start to look the same? and it’s not about the new character anymore. it just put me over the boiling point. she’s another one in a row with obvious tricks catering to specific target audiences. and it’s not about natlan only either. this region is just filled with issues that were already there in previous nations — issues that were already annoying and worrying me if they ever improve. and they didn’t. well, one thing improved and the other got ignored, rinse and repeat, a vicious cycle. i just don’t understand how a game that has been constantly a number one popular title since 2020 still cannot act as a trendsetter and do its own thing without worrying about the revenue because it will always be on top instead of falling for the same cheap gimmicks that maybe boost niche titles but feel extremely bland if put against what’s already been established. pain, agony, suffering even, if you ask me…

[eulaliasims]

Round 3, Midwife 4 / 8

Soon after the wedding, a familiar face wanders in from the forest.

Angus: Hi, Mister Deer Man.

Arturo: Hello, small child who can apparently see me.

Angus: Of course I can see you. I'm Angus.

Arturo: So you are.

Arturo: Little mortal.

Helenet: Ah! By the gods, we need to put a bell on you. Or teach you how to knock.

Arturo: Ah, but that would ruin the surprise.

Helenet: Oh, so you are doing it on purpose.

Arturo: Your child is a witch.

Helenet: Angus? You can tell that so easily? I didn't think he was old enough yet for the magic to manifest, if he inherited it.

Arturo: That, or I have utterly lost my touch for concealment charms.

It's important to stop by and argue with the mortals once in a while. For fun. Gotta keep them on their toes. I'm sure I had a reason for taking these pictures three months ago, but damn if I remember what now.

Elmet, meanwhile, has another important question to ask Helenet later that night, when she's getting ready for bed...

Elmet: Netty, do you think we should have a baby?

Helenet: I'm not opposed to it, but… you realize a baby might be wirokū like you, right?

Elmet: No, I don't think so. I mean, I wasn't born a werewolf. People aren't born werewolves, are they?

Helenet: Yes. I told you about the werewolf family my grandmother knew of, didn't I?

Elmet: I kinda thought they were all just really, really unlucky.

Helenet: *sigh* I would be happy to raise a baby with you, but maybe first you should think a little bit more about what it would mean if they are born a werewolf.

You want Elmet to THINK? idk about that, Helenet.

But Elmet obeys her anyway, contemplating the matter during his nightly excursion while he watches the fire and waits for Arturo to show up.

He's not convinced Helenet is right, that their children would be born werewolves. He wasn't, after all. If a redheaded man dyes his hair dark with walnut hulls, it doesn't mean his children will be born with black hair instead of red. Lycanthropy is like, uh... walnuts? The metaphor has gotten away from him somewhere, but Elmet's point still stands.

Arturo: You are unusually thoughtful tonight.

Elmet: Netty thinks that if we have a baby, it'll be a werewolf.

Arturo: Helenet thinks many things. In this case, she is probably correct. There is a good chance of it. The lycanthropy has become a part of your blood; it is how it keeps its hold on you.

Elmet: Hm.

Arturo: I take it that is not the answer you desired.

Elmet: I… I don't know? I want to have a baby with her, so bad, like, I finally understand what my brother was going on about. It's wild.

Arturo: Many, if not most, humans have a strong biological urge to reproduce. It is the lingering nature of our animal pasts.

Elmet: Uh, okay. But remember the things I told you, the things I don't like about being wirokū? And I think, why would I want my child to experience that too?

Arturo: Consider that your condition came about as the result of a traumatic event; your child would be born to it naturally and never consider that it should be another way, unless you were to actively pass your anxieties onto them. You seem to have adjusted significantly since I met you.

Elmet: I still hate the shedding, though. It makes my pants itch.

Arturo: All mortal bodies are annoying sometimes. Some men hate having to shave their beard every day, you hate having to shed your fur.

Elmet: Who's shaving every day in this cold? Wait, Arturo, can you grow a beard? Have you been shaving it all this time?

Arturo: This isn't about me.

Elmet: But now I need to know!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 13 thoughts

how’s everyone doing tonight?

there may be a super bowl on, but i have more important matters at hand. and their names are mulder and scully.

mulder is not on my top 10 list of favorite men right now, though. i’m glad everyone was just as annoyed as i was after last episode’s “you’re making this personal” nonsense. i don’t forget. forgiveness might be arranged if the weather is nice.

but it seems that the weather will not be nice tonight, because this episode description mentions a hurricane. and arthur dales. was that the guy who took them out to the boat where you become old? i feel like i remember that name. 

(author's note: he was not that guy ❤️)

you guys remember the boat that makes you old episode? that was a wild one.

well. best to dive in!

post-episode thoughts: i am gently cradling scully's face. i am tossing her a warm blanket and a thriller novel to read on the couch, and bringing her a glass of water so she doesn't have to move when she's thirsty. i am the designated driver when she gets wine drunk at the bar, laughing on the ride home as she mumbles about high school. the way we hold hands in the car feels like stealing something terribly valuable. MULDER, YOU CAN COUNT YOUR FUCKING DAYS!!

thunder is rumbling in florida. someone yells for evan. i hope she finds him. she’s boarding up the house door, but i don’t think that will keep it from flooding. so i’m not sure what the end goal here is. 

they are trying to get clean water, it seems? but the water is coming in through a drain… and i assume it is NOT clean

wait, is arthur dales the guy from the florida mothman episode??? who got lost in the woods? is this his family?

(author's note: no ❤️)

this woman says she needs water NOW. and their cat is here, too. but mom doesn’t care. she says evan needs to push the washing machine NOW. to get the water out. 

HE’S TRYING TO PUSH GIRL!! I GET THIS IS A HIGH STAKES SITUATION, BUT STOP YELLING AT HIM…. HE LOOKS ALL OF 15...

WHAT THE FUCK, IS AN EEL THING EATING HIM???

she’s telling the creature to let him go and then it starts to get her, too!!!!

hmm. 

it has tentacle things. that were serrated.

free my boy evan AND his cat!!!

(intro time)

“hi, this is fox mulder. you can leave me a message after the beep” <- awww. he has a very boring voicemail. 

where is mulder…? his apartment is empty… he has been ordered by this arthur fellow to get down to florida.

i feel so stupid. WHO IS ARTHUR? am i supposed to know him?? am i supposed to recall?? there are so many side characters that we never see again!! was he a fan-favorite or something that they brought back??

someone is listening to the radio, drinking some nasty looking sink water. 

LMAOOOOO he opens the door and scully and mulder are there. very wet. “there’s a reason that people don’t head out into hurricanes” yes this is very true!

okay, i googled the guy because i was going crazy. he was one of the first people to investigate the x files. FROM THE FELLOW TRAVELERS EPISODE? hold on. i have to go consult my notes.

YES. THAT is the guy. not the florida guy, not the ship guy- the guy who watched roy cohn put spiders in people. which i honestly haven't thought about since seeing that episodes. or even registered how wild that as a plot point is.

but now, with that mystery solved, i can go back to watching the wet agents.

“who’s this?”, he asks (cut to a sopping wet angry cat of a scully) LMAO

she does not believe in a damn sea monster! so why did you bring her, he asks.

“she has a knack for getting to the bottom of things”, says mulder (she sees his trash can is filled with empty liquor bottles) “apparently, so does mr. dales” <-GET HIS ASS, SCULLY!!

dales says his friends, the shipleys, gave him a call in a panic. sara said something in the house grabbed her husband jack.

“it was your description that caused agent scully’s… dubiousness” <- LMAO. oh, someone should make that a username somewhere. scullys-dubiousness.

sara said it had tentacles that it used to choke jack. and she and her husband are both marine biologists. so they know tentacles!

now sara is missing as well. and dales has a bad hip, so he can’t go himself. so he called mulder. i find it hard to believe he didn't know anyone closer!

scully asks him why he came down here, and he says the weather, which gets a smile out of her, LMAO <3

“don’t sneer at the mysteries of the deep, young lady. the bottom of the ocean is as deep and dark as the imagination”

she’s a scully, motherfucker. the ocean is in her blood.

“young lady” is also crazy… arthur dales, you’re on thin ice. 

they brave the storm to go visit the shipleys, breaking through their door that sara worked very hard to board up. 

i bet filming this episode was unpleasant at best. so damp….

the music is mysterious as they investigate the place. mulder finds mystery goop!!! he can’t get it off of him!!

and now the washing machine is popping open. get that mop ready to poke whatever is in there, mulder; you look so scary. is it going to be the cat?

YEAH! cat! jumpscare of a cat. reminds me of the episode with the cat puppet. hehehehe.... a silly memory.

they investigate the boarded up bathroom, when someone comes in!! telling them to keep their hands up!!

LMAOOOO, the flashlights are in their mouths so they can't answer his questions... i’m cryingggg, this is so silly

they mumble as they try to explain themselves. and there is no backup for the guy who is trying to get them in trouble. he does not give a fuck. he says dales called him drunk as a skunk- what’s new?

the cat distracts him, and mulder steals his gun. “you’re going to kill me” “no, i’m not, but i’d like to” <- a rare moment of mulder self-control

scully shows him her badge and then leaves to go in the car. she has had ENOUGH. and can we blame her?!

the deputy politely asks for his gun back and helps mulder rip the boarded up bathroom door down. i am suspicious. maybe somehow HE is the sea monster.

scully is in the car yelling on the phone. mulder comes in and says they only found slime and water, as if someone left the tap running, and she says we have to get to the airport before they close it.

“aren’t you even curious what happened to these people?” <- don’t weaponize her curiosity, omg…

“he’s seen things i’ve only read about” “because sea monsters can only be read about, mulder, because they don’t exist” <- LMAOOOO

scully says she’s done what she can for her job and her conscious, but mulder says they should at least tell dales they’re giving up. which seems like a trap to get them to keep investigating in very dangerous weather.

the deputy is still bumbling around in the shipley’s house. but something emerges from the drain again!!!

he pulls out his pliers to open the drain…. and something bubbles up! WHY WOULD YOU STICK YOUR HAND IN THERE, DUDE?!??

well. all he pulls out is evan’s jersey. he was lucky. THIS TIME.

the agents are forced to pull over and are told by cops that they must find somewhere to stay!!! the road is washed out!! and there is no getting to the airport!!! noooo!!!! 

scully tries to argue with the guy and tell them they’re FBI, and they REALLY need to get going, and she’ll show you her ID, but mulder rolls up the window and gets out of there. unfortunately, i do think he was right here- they need to be safe. it makes me sad to say it, too. but where will they find a place to stay?!

the deputy pulls into a condo complex to try and help some people stranded without power. 

the cat hitched a ride onto his car!!!! the kitty is a survivor!

also, his name is deputy greer! feels a little late to learn this, but better now than never. he is yelling for people in the condo… he finds one open door and goes in 

AUGH!!!! someone is SLIMED on the TOILET!!!!!!! awful awful awful way to go!!!!!

and it’s moving!!!!!! a tentacle reached out and GRABS HIM!!! 

eeeeew. 

“the good thing about zero visibility, scully? can’t get any worse” <-bro is going to jinx them

WAIT. THEY DIDN’T PULL OVER AND FIND A SAFE PLACE LIKE I THOUGHT? MULDER JUST DROVE OFF? LMAOOOOOOOOO

she’s on the phone with the local police department, telling them where they are: “no, it isn’t very smart, is it?” (stares at mulder)

but they lose service as soon someone on the phone agrees to help them find shelter 💔

“you know, scully, someday we’re going to look back on this and we’re going to laugh. we’ll just think of it as, uh, you know, man pitted against the forces of nature. think of it as a test of our mettle” 

don’t go trying to make this better now!! you got y’all stuck in this situation!! but i guess he’s trying to put a positive spin on it.

scully’s not buying lmao. “i don’t need my mettle tested” and this is true! her mettle has been peer-reviewed

debris starts hitting the roof of the car, and scully says they need to pull over- but mulder says debris will still hit them if they’re pulled over. i mean, driving when you cannot see where you are going seems very unsafe. they might drive right into the ocean! but he keeps going, and says there might be someone who can give them directions.

they arrive at the condo!!! and they see greer’s car!!! 

they find him gasping on the floor, covered in terrible sucker marks around his neck!!!! he needs a trach, she says, or he will die. and mulder goes in to investigate the toilet, which is covered in goop and a singular watch. 

scully is going into DIY doctor mode while soaking wet, telling mulder to hold greer’s head steady. and i’ll say it. it’s hot. you want me to censor myself? 

that being said!!! i will faint if i try to watch this. she’s pulling out a knife to stab him in the throat and WHREEUGH. WHEEEWEIGH. looking at my phone looking at my phone. why did he pop. 

AUGHHHHH. AUGHHHHHH NO MA’AM. BLOOD POURING OUT. 

i’m shaking my hands over here. you can’t see it. but i am. 

mulder says that he thinks whatever it is that sucked greer up and is giving him the allergic reaction is in the plumbing, and runs off to investigate. 

scully radios for an emergency evacuation to save greer, and dales is listening. he hears her name and laughs. WHAT’S SO FUNNY ABOUT HER NAME BEING SCULLY? HUH? YOU KNOW HER DAD OR SOMETHING?? or are you laughing at her daring nature and ability to save lives? is this a laugh of respect? i'm watching you...

dales mumbles that the monster is not unidentified. well. you didn't seem to offer any hints on the subject...

mulder finds a guy upstairs, one who is hauling a giant TV- he must be stealing- and another fellow, who asks if he’s a doctor, because they called 911 and no one came. his wife is pregnant and a week past her due date. oh lord. this is not gonna be good.

you can almost always tell that shit is going to go down in an episode when it features a heavily pregnant side character.

his name is walter suarez. the guy with the wife. not the guy with the TV. who says he will put it back. 

LMAOOOOO, MULDER WAS TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND IT ONCE AGAIN DID NOT PAY OFF, I’M CRYING:

“stay there, mrs. suarez. we’re going to make sure your baby makes it safely into the world”

“well, thank you, but i’m not in labor. and my name is not ‘suarez’, it’s villareal. he tells people i’m his wife. like he’s so macho”

okay. yeah. i giggled. the universe truly hates his ass. possibly deserved.

also, what exactly was he going to do if she *was* in labor? he said “we” are going to make sure your baby makes it safely. bro. there is no “we” in this operation. unless he has a side hustle as a doula or something- that’s gonna be all scully. 

do medical doctors working in non-OBGYN fields even know HOW to deliver a baby? she’s a forensic pathologist. kinda the opposite of a delivery doctor.

maybe he’s read books on the subject. he reads a lot of books. maybe he picked up a book on how to deliver a baby and was like “i might need this someday”. surprise me, buddy.

anyway, he tells them both to please go downstairs. “why, you got a car? oh, walter here doesn’t have a car. not to mention a job” <-LMAOOOOO ANGELA. 

he just wants to get them to safety, and she is mad as hell she can’t use the bathroom LMAO. girl is going through it!!

“kid’s gonna be a fighter” <- oh, mulder. once again, i remind you that you have to at least get a real bed before you start thinking about having children. we need to think practically here. i know. you want a little kid SO bad. but we need to take steps to get there.

he asks if there’s anyone else in the apartment, and there’s a guy named george on the first floor. mulder goes to find him- knocks on his door- and george refuses to open it. he says he’s armed for all things. which i guess includes sea monsters.

scully is trying to tend to greer, now with angela and walter in the audience. angela wants to know what the hell was chewing on his neck, LMAO.

“it may have been some water-borne parasite” (angela turns to walter) “uh-huh, you see that? you see what happens when you live in a dump?” <- LMAOOOO

they want to know where harry is. he is the one who owns the place!

the thief also comes down to the first floor and angela has words for him too LMAO poor her!!!!!

mulder calls scully to the hall and says they need to leave now. but the paramedics won’t even send greer a rescue vehicle, so they can’t go anywhere. this is NOT good.

george down the hall is getting his guns, mumbling on the evils of federal agents. and this dude has a wild amount of guns. and the tentacle beast in his room. please focus on the bigger issues at hand than federal employees, george.

OH. scully has on a bandana and glasses to DIY investigate greer’s wounds. for when you do not have a surgical mask.

she says there is something under his skin! and angela hands her the tongs she had been holding over a candle’s flame LMAOOOO an excellent surgical assistant!

he’s at 106 degrees!!! which is simply far too many!!!

scully tells the thief to fill up the tub and get ice and he’s like “but… the thing in the plumbing…” and she tells him to GET MOVING!! BAHAHA, do NOT mess around with dr. scully when she is in life-saving mode!!!

oh my god. she’s pulling something out of his neck wound. oh my god. i didn’t see that coming and i paused on it. which makes this so much worse. she’s pulling something out. did i mention that? and it keeps coming.

it’s a tentacle. she demands a container to store it in and for mulder to lift greer into the tub!!!

the thief pockets the slime-covered watch from the bathroom, knocking some epsom salt into the bath in the process. but they hear tons of gunshots!!! george is in his room firing into the ceiling!!! he must be trying to hit the beast!!!

mulder opens the door and tells him to drop his weapon, but george says it’s gonna take a lot more than what he has to kill the thing he just saw.

scully has the bandana wrapped around her neck <3 she just wants to go home <3

scully says they all must remain calm. as the thief with greer is soaping up his hands to try and steal his wedding ring. and then he leaves!!!

angela needs to go to the bathroom, but walter is telling her she can’t, because the beast lives in the pipes, which makes mulder realize this thing must be coming from the hurricane!!!

angela goes in with a bucket from scully and tells greer that even though he is in a coma, he cannot listen to her use the bathroom, LMAO. but!!! he’s pulsating in there!!!!

scully is still not buying the sea monster allegations: “mulder, there is no evidence of any creature here. those organisms might just be waterborne parasites. but something from jules verne they are not”

lmao. she’s such a nerd. that’s the second time she’s referenced those books.

also, she’s soaking wet, has on a bandana around her neck, yellow rubber gloves on her hands, and a chef’s apron tied around her waist. she’s never looked more beautiful.

angela starts screaming!!! she saw it!! it’s in the tub with the deputy and looks like an octopus!! we have an eye witness account!!

mulder heads in there…. he opens the curtain to look into the tub….. please be safe... but he doesn’t see anything in there. just the clothes from the deputy. but no him.

“i think the deputy went out with the bath water” <- mulder, you’re so stupid. i can’t stay mad at you for long.

he thinks the evil octopus might be water!! it only takes shape when it attacks!! but she holds out the tentacle in the jar and says she can see it, and it seems that water actually kills it.

OH. he thinks it uses bodies to lay eggs. because... humans are mostly water. this is a horrible image.

mulder says they need to get out NOW. they can take the deputy’s prowler. but the looter isn’t there with them!! he stole the car!!!

mulder sees the beast in the ceiling!!! it breaks through the glass!!!! he’s falling over.

OHHHH…. HER VOICE WHEN SHE ASKS IF HE’S OKAY……… please kill me. pleaaaaaaaase.

AUGH!!!! his neck is covered in those terrible marks!!!!!

george locks scully and the others into the room!! holding them at gunpoint!!! leaving mulder outside!!! she’s furious!!! 

she wants to keep him breathing!!!! and, of course, angela is now going to start giving birth.

oh man. this is a sticky situation. 

poor mulder is in the hallway and sees the beast in the ceiling. 

george has the gun pointed at scully and is making her deliver the baby!!! but she says she’s never done it before!! “so stand back, or make yourself useful, but stay out of my way” <- YES MA’AM!!! you TELL HIM!!!!!

mulder is running from the beast…..

and poor scully is forced to help this stranger give birth. she’s trying to tell angela she’s doing a good job. you know. pushing and whatnot.

she needs some towels and she asks george politely at first, but now SHE NEEDS SOME TOWELS, DAMN IT! but he sees something in the ceiling light……

angela is giving birth and mulder is being tormented by neck wounds, when he hears the kitty meowing!!! save him, kitty cat!! named reggie!! they’re staring at each other….

meanwhile, scully has her hands up angela and feels the baby, but the beast is up in the ceiling. right above their heads.

scully realizes it’s the water!!!!!!!!!!! and the baby is coming out while the gun dude george is literally being choked to death by the beast!!!

she has a baby in her hands and is yelling at walter to shoot at the sprinklers. she hands him the gun...... and he fires. eventually. it felt like it took forever.

that is a woman who gets things done. 

cutscene to her on the phone… somewhere. 

mulder is showing dales his wounds, who agrees that they are terrible. they laugh about how disgusting they look. he has bandages around his neck and it looks like a turtleneck, which is kind of funny.

dales says that its is amazing that scully could come down here in a hurricane, chase a sea monster, deliver a baby, kill the beast, AND save mulder. and look at her little smile when he says she’s amazing and she looks down OH!

“she didn’t save my life, really…” <- OH??? THE DISRESPECT?? she’s trying to be polite and say he wouldn’t have known to go out into the rain until she pointed out the fresh water killed the octopus beast… but he says he did know!!! he saw the cat!!!

dales isn’t gonna stand for that, LMAO. “if agent scully had not been there with you, i shudder to think what would have happened to you. i’d say you owe her your life.” (she looks shocked at this)

(mulder sighs)

“it takes a big man to admit this, but… if i had had someone as savvy as her by my side all those years ago in the x files, i might not have retired” 

and she’s SMILING IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE HE SAYS THIS, OMGGGG

and he gives them a toast. and they both refuse water. the end.

AWWW. they said “let’s do a silly one”

i was worried at first about the scully-dales dynamic when he started with calling her "young lady", but an entirely pure friendship was born on this day. as well as an actual baby. and that is beautiful.

mulder… i am trying so hard to crack you… why do you insist you saved yourself? what pretense are you operating under??? why does it take dales to make you see how lucky you have it??

i feel like that was some sort of hint to a bigger picture, but i can’t crack exactly what or why. same with his weirdly empty apartment at the beginning.

this was a very good episode. it felt to me like those early season episodes, like humbug and jose chung. not QUITE as good as those, but in that vein. i think those writers left, though, didn’t they? so. it wasn’t really them.

scully in an apron and a bandana delivering a baby with a gun to her head…. yeah <3

mulder was just kinda here this episode. it was a scully one for sure. and i am not complaining. 

but. what is it that he is up to? i just can’t place it!!! what did he think there was to prove in saying he saved himself? is he trying to show dales how strong and smart he is, and how he is a worthy successor? i just can’t crack it. 

and then, other times, it is clear he’s trying. or at least it seems he is. making that comment about looking back and laughing at this with scully implies he sees a future with her in it as inevitable. then why is he saying that, then pushing her away?? unless he was just saying that to try and placate her for dealing with his nonsense, dragging them into a hurricane... but it seemed to me like he meant it.

it makes no damn sense…

okay, other thoughts: angela is a queen. she had me howling. 

scully…. save me, wet hair and DIY doctor scully… save me....

the beast was activated by saltwater, so when the salt fell in the tub, greer got eaten. so the beast must have eaten the shipleys as well. this is a bummer for all parties involved.

mulder should have taken the orphaned cat with him. maybe the kitty could have cracked his… whatever it is he has going on. a little friendly kitty. it could cure his angst.

i thoroughly enjoyed this episode, but when i woke up this morning after having watched it, i could not stop thinking about how disgusting the suction cup wounds were. and about scully removing the tentacle from one of them. good lord. i might need to sit down for a bit.

STILL. it was a very good one! do not let the mental images of holes with tentacles in them make you think i didn't enjoy it. now. let scully nap for many moons.

[kanerallels]

(rant incoming)

[langernameohnebedeutung]

.

[thewalrusespublicist]

overthinking paul mccartney BUT it is my opinion that his no cuddles testimony is about how he feels about that time rather than what he thinks literally happened. like he feels like he held something back with john and george, like he was a little protective of his space and his ego and especially as things got bad didn't really want to put himself out there all the way and face yet more rejection, and it comes out like "we weren't cuddly" because it's a translation of how he feels being projected back across the whole relationship. and he's very old and has done a lot of drugs. but he's in his eighties so it's probably relatively easy to be like "god they were just babies we were all so young and dumb i should have just held them and told them i love them literally who cares if the dumb baby is mad at you and makes a face and says you're a loser you've gotta offer affection anyway." which yes repression but also is something that's really only possible in retrospect.

Hi anon!

Yeah you know what I agree with this. I think the whole 'non-affection' thing partially started from a lie, not-lie that kind of warped into a 'truth' over time. One reason for it was the aftermath of John's death where Paul's comments were all over the place because he was all over the place. There's some in the mid 80s where he was going 'yeah we weren't that close and didn't open up to each other because men but also we were the best of friends' (this was like in the same sentence btw). I know he told Julia later it was because he wanted to play down the relationship, which is a very Paul thing to inexplicably do. I think then that 'oh we weren't affectionate' thing stuck as part of his narrative.

The second was I believe as you said, some retroactive projecting on an emotional regret onto the landscape of the past. The thing about John's change and transition from the 60s to the 70s was it was clearly a bit baffling to Paul. He never understood John and Yoko in his own words and he never quite got why John turned on him. When you're as self-loathing as Paul and faced with that, if one of the criticisms you constantly face is that you're too aloof and closed off to let people in (we know George critiqued him for his 'pleasant insincerity'), you might cling to that as a reason for the whole shit-show. We know Paul regrets not putting his arms around John and saying listen when it comes to the break-up, suggesting that he sees physical affection as part of being open and openness as a potential solution that he didn't do. It's also weirdly self-soothing. If he blames the break-up on not being more emotionally available, he can also rationalise it and take some of the 'blame' off himself. He was a 'northern man', how else was he meant to behave? It's not on him if he couldn't open up.

God actually it just hit me, if Paul associates physical affection with being truly open and honest it does shed a whole new light on the fact that Paul keeps going back to physical affection when asked what he would do if John was alive. Ow.

[fragmentedblade]

The "Dan Heng is Dan Feng" dogmatics annoy me a lot. It entirely brushes off one of the most interesting and prevalent questions posed by the game, incarnated by several characters and stories that give the question different hues with different potential answers, and a constant also in HI3, like a thread waving the two games together

[valerieality]

"im shifting to get dick idc 🤭" "hot take but permashifting is actually fine" "my s/o soo fine" "the easiest way to shift" omg idccccc your honor who gafff like come onnnn. please make this worth your time

[hsslilly-blog]

huntclaire divorce au. everything is exactly the same but wait i was going to make a joke here but i’m actually very invested in this

[wellthatschaotic]

neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"

[ratatatastic]

okay FIRST of all you cannot just TEASE that bobby was speaking from experience u menace!! luosty being a nightmare is so endearing but then i had to do a full brain reset at maffhew using lundy as a knot toy, that’s diabolical and true god bless! now i’m here begging sasha to reach the end of his metaphorical rope (pour one out for benny, maffhew is gonna be more insufferable not less when it happens) okay cool luv how we’re throwing the Yap back and forth

i can and i will we like to have twists and turns around here it adds a certain pizzazz if you will

i like to think when bobby doesnt want to spend his heats alone (which he usually does not for any lack of partners but sometimes he just does want to spend it alone as a goalie who missed scf practise to haunt the local beach for a bit is wont to do) he treats it like a lottery because its bobby ofc he does he doesnt have any particular preferences and anyone is honoured to be a part of it that theyre clamouring over each other to be first in line for heat privileges and like ofc sasha has been involved he knows how to treat his goalies well

and bobby would have more of his heats with sasha but sashas pretty adamant about not taking up his time

"No, you should spend more time with others," Sasha urges, already shaking his head to dissuade further dialogue. It's been how many times he's said that ever since Sergei brought it up. The tea has gotten cold by now, both of their mugs forgotten in front of them.

"Who will take care of Captain?" is all Sergei says back. The resounding silence is answer enough, the way Sasha diverts his gaze in shame is a treat though. "As I thought. Then I spend heats with others if you spend rut with me."

"Seryozha..."

"Sasha," Sergei answers back evenly.

"You make this difficult," Sasha sighs out.

"Not supposed to be easy." And concerning their Captain nothing ever is. "You spend ruts with me if and when you can. I'm not going to force you."

Because Sasha doesn't spend his ruts with anyone—at least not regularly. He doesn't mind helping out with heats, quite honestly if his Omegas don't have anyone else he's happy to step in. But his own ruts are spent mostly in solitude sans a stray packmate here and there but even that's rare. Sasha is private and that privacy extends to his own biology. If he barely invites the team over to his house, who's to say he invites someone over for his ruts? Sergei can relate though, to that isolation, it's why he offers.

Being alone together is better than being alone apart.

"I—..." Sasha's starting to run his fingers through his hair, obviously frustrated with how this conversation is going but his face doesn't give much away. It's only his fingers tightening as he combs his hair back that really signals anythings amiss—his scent is as even as ever at least to an untrained nose. Sergei can start to smell the hints of bitterness permeating the air—like the tea that's boiled over in front of them because they forgot their tea in the midst of this, leaving the strainer in for far longer than they should've. It's over-steeped, but Sergei has always left his tea in for far longer that he should've. Jam usually sweetens it enough, he finds.

"Just know I'm option like Aaron and Luosty. Sasha, you treat us so well. Let us treat you."

It could be hours that crawl by or it could be mere minutes, the only accompanying sound to the silence is Sergei's stirring, his spoon hitting the side of his mug in a rhythmic lull until eventually, eventually Sasha looks up again.

Defeated, he slumps his shoulders and nods. "Okay."

Sergei blinks, not quite expecting how easily Sasha gave in, he was expecting more convincing, more back and forth, more... well, just more. "Okay to spend rut?"

"...okay to spend rut..."

And if anything there's a particular reason why Sasha's last resort is a warm body during his rut. For someone who's so controlled, who's emotional highs at most reach mild in front of the cameras when he can help it—he's quietly intense.

Emphasis on quiet. Stress on intense. Which is the per usual for him, he's always quietly intense. But the focus is on something completely different, not hockey, not being a good captain or a good pack leader—it's on finding the nearest wet hole he can sink into.

Sergei can't say he's too shocked when Sasha pushes him onto his back, catching his ankles with a heavy hand to bully his legs up by his ear—he's a goalie, he's flexible after all, it doesn't faze him—he even lets out a hushed trill that his Alpha is using him as he likes, as he told him to. Not that Sasha needed any encouraging in the first place, he practically herded Sergei onto his bed, pushing him along, the second his rut started to first hit him.

In place of laying bites at his neck—a neck covered with a neck guard that Sasha urged him to put on—he litters marks elsewhere, and he's liberal in them. His canines dropping down means he's itching to place them somewhere, anywhere; Sergei's soft skin is a good a place as any.

The first knot is not so bad, Sasha for the most part is pushy but not overbearing. By the third, Sergei can't even shift to get more comfortable because he's met with a low growl rumbling from behind. A stern warning, despite the fact Sasha's knot has gone down considerably enough for Sergei move without tugging on it. So Sergei waits, waits until his member softens enough it can slip out before he attempts to shift again—he's met with the same growl, this time a lot more pointed, a nip leveled at his shoulder to stay still. Really the first thing Sasha has said the whole time.

Sometimes he wakes up with Sasha licking at the back of his neck, tongue wetting the polyester cover of his neck guard, making it stick even more to Sergei's already sweating skin, breath coming out in puffs that further dampen it. His hips nudging against the back of his thighs insistently as he waits for Sergei to come to enough. Sometimes he doesn't wait at all, arms encircling his hips as he pants into his ear, setting a punishing pace from the start and there's not much more he can do but take it. Despite the whines that get forced out of him from how tender he feels—Sasha merely shushes him, hips quickening their pace.

There's not much rest to be had when Sasha is adamant that he warms his cock even if Sergei is limp from exhaustion, crying out as he pulls him back.

In the moments of reprieve even that doesn't last long when Sasha finds that his seed is leaking out and the only solution is to stuff a few fingers inside when Sergei is already sensitive enough.

It's a lot, Sasha is big, his knot is big, everything about him is big and unapologetic and and

"...sorry..." Sasha breathes into his shoulder blade when he's finally conscious enough to not rut in between Sergei's thigh for the fifth time that night. In fact his hips are unmoving, his grip has gone terribly lax they feel soft instead of punishing.

Sergei reaches back to pat at his head, a soothing gesture, "Welcome back, Captain."

-

"Be prepared. Captain will work you hard."

Matthew laughs, "Yeah? I hope so."

Sergei just smiles serenely, pats him on the shoulder and doesn't elaborate whatsoever. Matthew will know soon enough—like they all have.