#yes these are all from my insta stories im sorry im bad at taking pictures of my work

[fruit-punk-art]

🔐 progress so far on some pompom keychains 🔐

[therosevest]

i won’t screenshot the dms bc i don’t feel like opening the latest message but EYE posted on my story abt the tiktok pictured below basically about how i got horny thinking abt someone working through a difficult math problem lol don’t worry abt that anyway sam slides up bc i cut part of it out so as to avoid insta censors and my slight embarrassment lol and was like does that say c*m and i was like well yes and then he was like haha what you’re into math… girl u have to walk w the thought process 😑 which i know you’re incapable of anyway so i vaguely responded like ah yeah what being away from stem for so long will do to u and he responds with like ten messages. including. ‘you gotta do it yourself’ that’s not the point 🙄 ‘you know how i’m terrible at talking to women’ wow really ‘so i realized i can calculate the speed of cum’ ‘bc i have some data’ DID I ASK?????!???!?!!!?!!!!! hello there’s oversharing and then there’s this… does the girl you’re having sex with know you share to this extent. and then he said how he accidentally brought this up to someone irl to be like haha awk whoops and i was like yeah well there r times where perhaps we need to self censor. and then i also get a message that’s like ‘hang on im doing the math’ IM NEVER EVER EVER GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO U I HOPE U KNOW THAT SCREAAMMMMM (and u need to know bc he’s genderfluid. im only using one set of pronouns for clarity on here ok i promise im not a dick. but he thinks he’s like. an exception for lesbians basically… like he doesn’t Count…. and like look im no essentialist im all for like freaky gender sex but also at so many other turns you do take advantage of being seen as a white male so. i don’t. yeah.) he’s kind of like the creepy dude at the edge of the friend group in high school named matt who would constantly harass me and my ex but like tried to be so lowk abt it. and it’s so bad basically. ‘17mph is crazy’ i hope you fall in an intersection sorry i can’t do this anymore 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 so pissed i have to see him tmrw i should be able to watch mmxxl w scully in peace

[arhvste]

can i maybe request some comfort hq’s w any of your favorite boys (but maybe throw in some oikawa) when their s/o doesn’t get invited to hang out w her friends but like all her friends are hanging out and they didn’t invite her so she just has to watch them all have fun on social media and stuff? totally not speaking from experience haha.. take your time if you’re busy! i love your writing so much 🥺✨💘💖

hi bby i love u a lot <3 ✨🐉🦋

-

OIKAWA, BOKUTO AND TSUKISHIMA COMFORTING LEFT OUT S/O

-

OIKAWA

you’re minding your own business at home in your room scrolling through instagram when your heart sinks 

you see your friends have posted group photo they took today when they went out and failed to invite you

you felt silly being bothered by it but you couldn’t hep it 

friends are meant to invite each other out not leave individual members out

while you’re staring at the picture, you’re interrupted by a facetime call from your boyfriend

you answer and see his smiling face on your screen

“hi y/n-chan i- wHATS WRONG?!”

he sees you’re not smiling back and he immediately knows somethings up

“its nothing tooru, don’t worry”

you give him a little reassuring smile and he frowns a little 

so anyway you guys go about your call just talking as normal and you casually mention that your friends hung out without you

you can’t actually see oikawa’s face because he has you on pause and kept muting and unmuting by what you assumed was accident

rude

but you just assume he’s on his daily run because you can hear him doing so

you carry on telling him about how you’d been left out and just talking about it made you tear up a little

“i know it’s stupid, but i can't help but feel annoyed.”

as you’re explaining to tooru you hear a knock at your door

muttering a quick “hang on” to your boyfriend you go downstairs to see who’s at your door

you open the door to reveal your panting boyfriend with a bag containing, one of his favourite hoodies you like to borrow, his laptop, another bag of take out food and a bunch of sunflowers gripped under his arm

“sorry i took so long y/n-chan”

“tooru? what's all this?”

“as if im gonna let my pretty girl feel upset all by herself, come here”

he pulls you in for a tight hug and you let him inside where he unpacks the contents in the bags 

the fact he did all of this for you make you want to tear up again

and you do just that

he pulls you back into his chest and wraps his arms around you 

“what did i do to deserve you?”

“i should be asking you.”

you guys eat your take out, oikawa has a shower because he was lowkey sweating with all that running about, you pull on the jumper he brought round for you (he only took it back in the first place because you mentioned his smell wasn't as strong on it anymore)

you watch a few films before you both start to just lay there and cuddle

“come on, lets take cute photos!”

“why?”

“so we can show your stupid friends that you don’t need to be with them when you have me”

you guys take some immaculate pictures and upload them to your insta story where a ton of people are swiping up compliment how cute you both are

including a few of your friends who swooned over your boyfriend saying how they wished they had a boyfriend like tooru

oikawa looked at their messages and sneered

“ignore them it’ll piss them off”

he is so petty

but so are you fdshfghu

he’ll stay over for the night because he refuses to leave you until you’re totally over it

best boyfie

63/10 experience would die for this boy 😼

-

BOKUTO 

bokuto is actually the one who points out that your friends are hanging out without you

you two have just left grabbing breakfast together when he sees your group walking and laughing together across the street

“hey y/n? aren't they your friends?”

“huh?”

you turn to look and you wish you hadn't 

bokuto saw the drop in your face and suddenly felt sad too

“do you want me to say something?”

“don’t worry kou, it’s nothing”

you give him a weak smile and pull him back to your house

the walk back is quiet which is unusual for the two of you as usually you two never stop talking to each other 

when you get back home you turn away from your boyfriend and wipe a few stray tears that you’d been holding back the whole time

bokuto notices and grabs you shoulder and turns you to face him

“oh y/n please don’t cry! shall we make a blanket fort? do you want to go out somewhere? shall i get akaashi to come over and we can plot muder against your friends?”

the boy isn’t used to seeing you upset

he’s used to seeing you so happy and cheerful around him because he always does his best to make sure you’re comfortable 

you laugh dryly and smile at him

“no baby it’s fine, i just need to let it all out and i’ll be good”

he pulls you and and wraps his big arms around you as your sobs grow louder into his chest

“k-kou am i stupid for feeling like this? it’s not even that serious i just feel kinda betrayed they didn't even ask me you know? like this isn't even the first time -i”

you look up when you feel chest chest move and you sees HE’S got tears falling down his face too

“kou!! i know why i’m crying but why are YOU crying?”

“i-i don't know?? seeing you cry makes me cry??”

the two of you are laughing and sobbing together you forget why you were even sad in the first place

he picks you up bridal style and carried you over to the couch where the two of you proceed to just cuddle and enjoy each other’s presence

“hey, y/n you should hang with me and akaashi at lunch if you want”

“maybe...”

“come onnnn, if your so-called ‘friends’ don’t wanna hang with you, we most certainly do!”

he’s giving you his big toothy grin you can't say no to

“okay kou, i’ll start spending my lunches with you”

he doesn't even hide the fact he's excited lmao

“yES!! we get to spend even more time together now and everyones gonna see how cute we are together!”

bokuto just wants to make sure that wherever you are, he can make you smile and forget about all the bad things 

so the fact you agree to spend your lunchtimes with him makes him ecstatic now that he knows he can make it his mission everyday to make you smile more

he won't ever leave you alone when you’re sad so you spend the rest of your day playing on your switch and making tiktoks together

because bokuto will always want you to feel like you’re having fun with him because it’s your smile that first caught his attention before you started dating 

-

TSUKISHIMA

you and tsuki are at his house in his room together

both of you are going through your phones until your group chat starts spamming with photos and videos 

your notifications are going off like crazy and its driving tsukishima mental

“since when were you popular?”

you glare at him as you open the messages and your face drops 

your supposed friends were all sending videos and photos of each other into your group chat

they had all gone out and hadn't mentioned it to you

tsukishima glanced over to your phone and watched as you mindlessly tapped through the never ending stream of content 

“i don’t know why you surround yourself with such loser’s y/n, i’d be embarrassed to send videos of my friends screaming like babies”

this made you smile ever so slightly

you’re not a mean person

but there's something about tsukishima’s snarky comments which make you feel better about the situation

tsuki has obviously noticed you were bothered about not being invited but he won't tell you he knows because it may trigger you to get upset

instead he pulls your back into his chest as the two of you lay in his bed together as he rests one of his arms on your side and the other over your shoulder

instead of being overly comforting, tsuki will encourage you to tap through the group chat but he’ll make a snarky comments for each picture or video

“ew she really left the house with confidence looking like that?”

“why has the girl on the right done her make up like that? did they go out for a day at the circus or something?”

“you can see the people in the background literally cringing, i can feel the second hand embarrassment through the screen”

the two of you sit there for a while laughing and making snide comments 

tuski’s are way worse than yours because he literally doesn't know how to stop 

after you finish tapping through everything, you set your phone down and smile at your boyfriend 

“hey, thanks for that”

“for what? being myself”

“for making me laugh you idiot”

“i was being honest but okay then”

you’ll just lay there together in a comforting silence

“you know... you’re too good for them anyway, ditch them”

you hesitated before answering

“but, they're my friends? i can't just ditch them out of nowhere”

“they had no problem doing it to you”

harsh words 

but he’s right

they didn't have a problem ditching you so maybe tsuki was right

“i don't mind doing a bit of charity work and letting you be with me at school”

“oh? how considerate of my boyfriend, the one who’s meant to love and be there for me unconditionally! you’re too kind!”

you both snicker at this before he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head

“go on, leave the group chat... if you’re bad 😈”

he gets lowkey excited watching you leave it he’s got a stupid little evil smirk 

tsuki may seem like he enjoys conflict and malicious behaviour 

but really he just wants to make sure you’re kept away from people who clearly don't value or deserve you

‘their loss’ he thinks to himself as he pulls you closer

[halfgclden]

EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE

The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.

JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.

More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.

JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?

JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.

JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready! He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.

JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.

JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.

JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.

JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?

JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.

Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.

JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?

JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.

JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!

JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.

JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!

JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.

JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.

JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.

JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?

JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.

JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!

JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.

JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?

JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.

JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—

JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.

JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—

JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—

JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—

JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.

JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?

JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.

JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—

JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.

JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—

JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—

JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?

JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.

JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?

JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?

Another spooky sound plays

JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.

JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.

JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.

JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?

A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break

JOEL: Take it away!

JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.

JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.

JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?

JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!

JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.

JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?

JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.

JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.

JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.

JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.

JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.

JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.

JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of  Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?

JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.

JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.

JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?

JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.

JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?

JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?

JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?

JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!

JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?

JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.

JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?

JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...

Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.

[hufflautia]

hI this is a tOTALLY ANONYMOUS PERSON ASKING. and i am asking u to answer everything on here😌

lmajfniasnf yall i forced menna to send me this ask and i was kinda kidding but also a bit serious but also kinda kidding- ok anwyas here we go 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? closed 

(2) Do You Have Freckles? no 

(3) Can You Whistle? yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To. “Needed Me” by Rihanna

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? grayish green

(6) Relationship Status. in love with loki<3! 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? cold, my fingers are cold and menna knows this 

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? no i did not, quite the opposite actually! 

(9) How Many Followers? around 650 

(10) Zodiac Sign. taurus

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? brown

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? yea

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? usually 

(14) What Books Are You Reading? no book bc i have no brain cells 

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. 

“i cannot imagine,” replied the scarecrow; “but we can go and see.” -the wonderful wizard of oz! i forgot i had that book, i got it from library for school last year but then quarantine hit and i couldn't return it bc the library closed 

(16) Favourite Anime? i barely watch anime, so i guess “Attack on Titans”, being that its one of the few animes I've watched

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? my math teacher 

(18) Do You Collect Anything? only the souls of the innocent. also chapstick. 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? wontons that fucked my stomach up bc the meat was not cooked properly :D don't we love that?????????????!!!!!!

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? not rlly 

(21) Favourite Animal? dog 

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? no 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? usually 11 or 12- depends on day

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? no 

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? pool 

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? clandestineloki

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? i don't care as long as its safe

(28) What Makes You Happy? my siblings, my best friends, loki, tom hiddleston

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

i saw this and thought it was a good fit but then i realized it was too calm so

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? without

(31) Dogs Or Cats? DOGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? yellow 

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. i don't care

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? I've never swam in a lake before, so lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? yea

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? gray

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? no 

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? depends

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? yes 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? of course, loki will always be an obsession of mine bruh 

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? nO BC IM SCARED OF BUTTERFLIES 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? yes:’( 

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? of course

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? yes 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. ParaNorman

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? sunflower seeds

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? the neighbourhood

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? kinda 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? eh 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? kinda 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? yes 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? depends on mood

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? wrap 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? sleepy hallow ft foushee- deep end freestyle 

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) winter?? 

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? l o k i (my original answer was warmth but its basically the same thing) 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. 

(58) What Is Your Gender? female

(59) Coffee Or Tea? tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? nope, i finished it on Friday and Saturday like a bad bitchhhhhhhhh

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? bisexual

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? depends on day 

(63) Favourite Pokemon? squirtle i guess

(64) Favourite Social Media? insta 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? they're fine 

(66) Do You Get Homesick? kinda 

(67) Are You A Virgin? ill leave it up to ur imagination bitch (MENNA IM SO SORRY IM NOT CALLING U A BTICH IM JUST SAYING THAT IN GENERAL) 

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? i forgot the name, but its white and fancy and from the same brand 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that is a very good question, probably the motel 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? AHAH depends on what u mean by “still in my life”!!!!!!! i guess technically yes, but I've already cut off those bitches in my head 😌 manifesting it into existence <3 

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? avatar 2 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? i don't have one 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? “not you, i didn't wanna hurt you”

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? brown bc if i say any other color, its probably a yt person and also brown be smexy

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? yes, yes 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? honey buttered biscuits 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? among us, maybe Minecraft 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? no bc i don't know how and i would call for someone else to help 

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?probably bc I'm a hermit

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? amsifnda this is ME ur talking to 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? yes kinda, unless they're awkward (aHEM BREAKOUT ROOMS WITH NEW BUT AWKWARD PEOPLE-) 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. i used to but not anymore 

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?  i want it closed but the person i share the room with leaves it open bc they say we’re gonna fuckin suffocate if we leave it closed and i hate it bc ✨trauma✨! DONT WE LOVE TRAUMA??!?!?!?!??!?!?!? :D............

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? i baked biscuits, i did college stuff, i showered

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? usually mismatched pjs 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. chapstick, natural skincare serum, lotion, face masks

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? day 

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. don't have any

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

a snake chased me and it was weird as fuck

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? don't have one 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? people laughing, violin and piano, my friends voices, my siblings voices

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? SWEATS

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? comfy 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You. showering

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want? maybe an important quote? “dont trust owls” imprinted on my face

(96) Favourite YouTuber? stephanie soooooooooooooooooooooo 

[lena-haloways]

Can you say what you like the most in every remake? Like, what do you think every remake has done the best or something like that.. basically, what is your favorite thing from every remake or something you like the most, something positive.. I hope you understand a question haha ❤

Sure, I think I do understand, and thank you for the question anon! 💜

Okay, so...

Skam France - well, I already said this but even though this is not my favorite remake, their version of season 3 is my favorite. I think they did an amazing job with that season, and they generally made lucas a great character. He is my favorite isak and they developed him so good, along side with his relationships with everyone - mika, manon, eliott, emma, imane, daphne... He is so much more approachable and friendly than any other isak to be honest and I really believe in his friendships with everyone and love them. I will forever be sorry we didn't get a developed noora x isak friendship from the og, but I am so happy we got lucas x manon and it was great. Also, eliott is a great character and I really love their relationship and I think they handled bipolar storyline very well. So, for me, the best thing that came from skamfr is season 3.

Druck - honestly, the crew. They really developed them awesome, their friendship is the best thing ever. Druck was the best in making girl squad and boy squad one squad (or crew 😂) and it was done so naturally. You really believe in them being such a great friends. This abi clips we got last week were a real blessing and I just love how everyone were having fun, really as one. Everyone were dancing and having fun with everyone and they were all taking pictures with each other and were making insta stories with and about each other. Also, they included alex in that whole dynamic perfectly, he is not fully in the group, but he is a part of it just enough. They are all really best friends and it seems so natural. So, the best thing that came from druck - friendship between girl and boy squad.

Skam Italia - I think they have the best boy squad dynamic and giovanni is great and his friendship with martino really is the most like isak x jonas if not better. The scene in the og where isak tells jonas he likes even is my favorite scene from season 3 and one of the best in the whole series. I like it sooo much and I have rewatched it so many times. Jonas is great in that scene and everything feels so natural. I got the same feeling while watching giovanni x martino scene. Giovanni was amazing, just like jonas, and my boys were so precious. So, I would say the best thing on skamit is boy squad.

Skam Austin - SA storyline. I didn't like season 1 of this remake, and season 2 was better, and wilsen grew on me while watching season 2, but it was still not the best. But, SA storyline was. They nailed it. It seemed so realistic and was handled the best im my opinion. Kennedy was so good, she proved that she can be an amazing actress when she has a good material, and grace was so relatable. She also came to be so strong and right when she told daniel that she was the victim and not him. I also like how they developed jo much more. But, definitely the best thing here is how they handled SA storyline and kennedy's portrayal of grace during that storyline.

Skam España - just how druck has the best boy x girl squad dynamic and italia has best boy squad dynamic, I think skamesp has the best girl squad dynamic. They are so suppprtive and connected and probably the most healthiest. I really see them as best friends and, along side with skam nl girl squad (I will talk about that one in a bit), skamesp has really bulit this squad the best.

Skam NL - their girl squad is also greatly developed, and I think is the best along side with skamesp girl squad. But, there is actually one more thing skam nl did the best - it's focus on the characters individually. In season 1, we got a bigger insight into isa than we got when it comes to any other eva, and in season 2, thah was emphasized even more. Season 2 of skam nl really was about LIV, instead of NOLIV. Yes, noliv played a big part, but most of the season was focused primary on liv and her relationships with everyone, instead of just her relationship with noah. Skam nl is just the best in focusing on the characters they are telling a story about more than any other remake or even the og, and I think they give the best insight into their characters.

wtFock - zoenne. Or more specifically, senne. Season 2 is still not done, and we didn't see senne's reaction to everything, but they gave us the best william in senne because they gave us the best insight into him and zoenne. They developed him more and actually made us care for him and how he would feel about everything. They got us actually understand him better and his reaction even if they make it bad or like the og. They gave us reasons to understand his side too. They made him the most like the og william, but better because it's like they realized everything that was wrong with the og and change it with senne. He understands his mistakes, he apologizes for them, but also gives valid reasons for them. And they also developed zoë x senne relationship more and with all the extra scenes we got of them, we believe more in their love because it feels so natural.

~ask me anything skam/remakes related~

[markleetrashh]

Boyfriend Yukhei

• i wrote one for jungwoo,,, so im gonna write one for yukhei or lucas • don’t you just love him too?? • also dedicated to @onlyjihoons • let’s start!

• how you met him • so you actually hold cooking classes at a nearby community centre near your neighbourhood, as it’s your hobby and also to earn money • and he’s actually one of your students there • he actually came to attend the class with his friend, mark • i had to do this im sorry both are b a d at cooking,, who am i kidding i can’t cook too- • and it was the first time you actually saw people this bad at cooking?? • like how yukhei forgot to wash all of his ingredients before cooking, • which led to you having to throw the whole dish away • because “you didn’t mention that we needed to wash them??” • “iT’S COMMON SENSE YUKHEI!!!” • about mark,,, another story- HAHA • but everytime yukhei attends the class you can’t help but fully focus on him majority of the time because he’s super clueless • which of course, he felt bad about • so he decided to text you one day • “i know im super hard to deal with every week, but can i repay your patience with a movie date??” • and you’d always thought he was really nice and funny, so of course, you agreed • on the date he shows up with his usual black and dark outfits (which suits him perfectly) and you can see him being awed by the dress you were wearing • and when you ask him why • “you look pretty today- i mean, you look pretty everytime i see you but today you look prettier?” • “must be because im not wearing an apron and my hair’s not tied up in a messy bun” • “hmmm maybe” • and throughout the whole movie/date yall are super comfortable and got to know more things you both didnt knew before • like how mark & him are the same age,, you always thought mark was younger • and he also tells you how he’s learning and practicing everyday to cook meals • and promises that one day he’ll cook one for you after he improves • interacting between classes slowly turned to small dates after class, with him waiting for you to clean up even after class has finished • to chatting everyday on the phone and going over to each other’s houses, you both became inseparable • and before you even knew it, you realised you have feelings for him,, but you didn’t bring it up, and didn’t plan to • until one day he just randomly texts you “i have something to tell you” • and without even replying he just confesses • and when you reply “really?” • he calls you right away • “Yes im serious. After thinking for weeks, that is” • “I…. like you too..” • “OH MY GOD REALLY??” • and that was how both of you got together • ^ right after the call he rushed down to your house just give you a hug and to celebrate but both of you ended up cuddling in each other’s arms to sleep • a relationship with yukhei would be pure fun and youthful • he’ll always try his best to make you laugh and make sure you’re happy • like how he teases you 24/7 • and how he would attack you with random tickles when you’re in the middle of doing something • dates?? yukhei is always ready • he seems to always have places to go to and bring you to • and they never fail to disappoint • which is why your phones are full of pictures and memories of the both of you at the many different countries • and he promised that one day he’ll bring you overseas to explore even more places • loves to surprise you • like that one time he specially cooked for you • and he’s improved A WHOLE LOT,, it’s actually on par with yours?? • “it’s all thanks to you,,, my first successful and most delicious meal for my babe!” • “i’ll cook more for you in the future” • and of course you’d be touched so!! • probably also has many meme photos in his phone, which he’d randomly send you • especially when you’re not together • like how he just randomly sent you one at 4am one morning • with a “this made me laugh so it should make you laugh too” • and you almost slapped him because you were woken from your sleep • whenever you call him cute though, • he gets all whiney and denies it “i’m not cute, i’m handsome” he said that himself on the insta live • but he gives in after he realises he cant win against you so he just pouts and frowns • which makes him even cuter!!! • but when you’re sad?? goofy yukhei would take over and he’ll do all sorts of funny and silly things to cheer you up • but there are times he’d also be very serious and ask you about what happened and listen to you talk • he’ll give you his most honest opinions and advice too because he wants the best for you • very supportive boyfriend • always the first to like and comment on your social media posts • and always sends a screenshot to you right after • “YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO POST THIS????? wow how pretty” • “where’s the credits for this wonderful picture????” • “you already look good in this picture but you know what will make it better??? having me in it!! go post a picture of the both of us-” • doesn’t always initiate hugs but when he does it’s usually because he’s tired and needs your affection • but he loves kisses though • especially on his cheeks,, he’d always get all happy and excited after you kiss him • in conclusion yukhei is your boyfriend & bestfriend • he’s always there to brighten things up and make your day much more fun and happy • and although he may be a dork sometimes and you wonder why you even love him, • like how he stares at himself in the mirror and asks you whether you think he’s handsome (kun, thanks for exposing him) • you still love him a lot • and he does too!!