#yes the cool and swag faceless man

[xoxzso]

yes hi um can iiiiiii have legend but as a concept please

[creepypasta-fandom-is-trash]

Lingo

Okay, so this is a fic based on  a wonderful conversation I had with @asktehslenderbros , they gave me some wonderful HCs to work with and I honestly had a great tme developing the idea with them. Please go check out their blog bc they’re pretty dope. 

Flickering firelight dances across the floor, the warm rays illuminate the large ornate carpet in the center of the room. The soft scent of bourbon and birchwood lingers on the surface of the dark coffee table in the sitting area of the room. Two large chairs are angled toward the fireplace, the smell of books wafts from the old fabric of the armchairs. A large, clearly tired creature sits in one chair, his expressionless head facing the fire as he lets his mind slip from this reality. Slender is known to be an incredibly stressed-out being, his mind always racing with ideas and possibilities that a typical human could not fathom. Behind the Slenderman sits his desk, a large thing that takes its location across the room facing the fireplace. Large windows behind the desk and chair reveal the starry night sky. 

Tiredly, Slender drags his gaze across the walls and bookshelves in the room. His office was always such a restful place, yet here he finds himself tenser than ever.  Thick tendrils curl and uncurl restlessly around the legs and back of Slender's chair as he struggles to keep calm.

There's just too much going on right now. 

What with the strange beasts lurking outside the mansion, clawing at the door, waiting..... waiting...

Glancing down to the large glass of liqueur in his long bony hand Slender silently and internally sighs. Stress remains built up in his chest like a coil of wires. Why can't he just do what he's supposed to do? Why can't he protect everyone? He can't even protect himself! The barely audible shuffling sounds across the room hardly faze Slender as he rises up from his chair, clenching his glass in one hand and his head in the other. 

Why can't I just do things right? Everyone will be safe then. I won't have to protect anybody from the Operator. I wont have to worry...

"Hey Richard." A deep voice interrupts Slender's wild and paranoid thoughts. Turning, Slender faces the darker side of the room and sees his guest. Well, part of his guest.  Eyeless Jack sits on his haunches, balancing precariously on a small stack of books on Slender's desk. A faint glimmer of candlelight illuminates the creature's mask as he tilts his head, regarding the Slenderman like a child looking at a cartoon. The Nightcrawler-esque pose doesn't concern Slender in the slightest as he slowly moves toward the doctor. 

"Jack," Slender greets, hiding the panic behind a monotone mask "What brings you here?" Eyeless chuckles quietly, shifting to fold his legs under him as he makes himself comfortable on Slender's paperwork. Naturally, EJ doesn't care about the state of the desk or what he may be sitting on.  Is it an important document? Birth certificates? Contracts? Eyeless Jack doesn't care. Slender finds himself briefly pondering the likeness between the eyeless demon and a large clumsy cat. 

"Me? Oh I just decided to drop by, I was in the vents, yknow..." Jack speaks while he examines one sharply-clawed hand like a prissy middle-aged soccer mom bragging about her 11-year-old honor roll student "... that and there may or may not be a large crack in the TV downstairs." The Slenderman sighs in response, waving away the fact that his panic had broken yet another appliance in the house. 

"I'll fix it later," Slender groans, walking back over to the fireplace and sitting down "Come, Doctor, join me. Feel free to get a drink while you're at it." Slender returns his contemplative gaze to the fire as the shadowy man moves forward. Eyeless shifts toward the empty glass and bottle of liqueur on the center of the coffee table. Instead of pouring himself a glass like a sane person, however, Eyeless merely picks up the large bottle and curls up on the second chair with it. Slender casts an exasperated look toward the awkwardly coiled creature next to him. 

"O...okay... Um..." Slender finds himself searching for a word to use that a young man like Eyeless may understand "Thats... cool? Um... my guy?" Eyeless, who previously was trying to gnaw the cork out of the bottle, snorts violently and begins laughing hysterically. Slender sighs, he was always trying to relate to the doctor, knowing full and well that the man is far younger than he is. But Slender finds himself falling short of 'cool' to the young man. Eyeless continues laughing, though Slender understands that it's not a mocking laughter. Letting his voice slip from the false deepness it usually holds, Slender continues. 

"What?" the faceless man chuckles "at least I'm trying." The ancient being's voice is shockingly average when he's not manipultating it. 

"I'm sorry, b-but it's just....heeehhehe.." Eyeless coughs loudly into one elbow, balancing the bottle between his legs while he laughs violently "It sounds so w-weird coming from you." 

"Well if you're so entertained," Slender chuckles, thinking of any and all 'hip lingo' he can usue "my dude, maybe you should take a chill pill" 

Eyeless chokes on his own spit, coughing and sputtering through his laughter. Slender smiles (sort of) and relaxes, his tendrils uncurling and waving in the air gently. Something about Jack always calms him down, and his laugh is... how they say... dorky?

Yes, that's the word. 

"You're such a dork." Slender states bluntly, searching for his next phrase "It's totally not hip, um, fam." Eyeless lets out a second graceless snort and struggles to get air into his lungs. 

"Richard. Please," Jack tosses his head back with another round of laughter, "I c-can't breathe! I-I need to-*cough* take my mask off..." Slender's 'smile' widens as the doctor pulls off the blue mask, something about the gesture has always been sacred to the monsters. Maybe it's because the monsters enjoy the privacy of their own identities. Eyeless tosses the mask onto the coffee table, taking a swig out of the bottle and relaxing. 

"Well thanks," Slender states sarcastically, placing his glass onto the coffee table and crossing his legs. 

"For what, my good sir?" Jack chuckles, folding his legs underneath him and putting on a faux posh accent. 

"For ruining the mood, it was totally....Um..." Slender thinks for a moment, Eyeless' smile vanishes completely as he jumps to the obvious conclusion.

"Richard, don't say it." Eyeless growls, lifting one hand like he's scolding a dog "Just don't, nobody wants to hear that."

"It was lit."

"What the fuck Richard??" Jack shouts, tossing his hands in the air in anguish. Slender finally lets out a loud laugh, the sound of his delighted chuckling filling the air as he watches the look of utter horror on Jack's face morph into disgust. Soon, that look of disgust turns into a large sharp-toothed grin.

"Fine, I'll just fight fire with fire." EJ grins, "You ninnyhammer. you white-livered wrinkler, how dare you bite your thumb at me??" Slender's laughter grows louder with each of EJ's old-timey insults.

"B-Bro, you're not being very, um, dank right now." Slender retorts, holding back his own laughter.

"You Fopdoodle! how dare you??" Eyeless growls, glaring mockingly at Slender. 

"swag. Radical. Groovy!" Slender laughs loudly, tossing his head back as his tendrils sway happily around him.

"What, you egg??? How dare you say that!" Eyeless mockingly growls, chuckling under his breath "fine, you asked for it. you...you whiffle-whaffle!"

The two grown adults burst out in loud, obnoxious laughter as they finish exchanging horrible insults and lingo. Roaring laughter shakes the ground and walls as the demon and the faceless creature let go of the ridiculous paranoia that had previously consumed them. The laughter dies into chuckling, which fades into soft giggles. Silence finally fills the room as the two relax in their chairs. 

"So..." Eyeless hums, taking a long drink from the bottle in his hand "Are you gonna go fix the TV?" 

"Fuck no."