#yes that's him near the conspiracy board

[grey-viridian]

Long time coming - The TF Boys Club!

Enjoy the absolute chaos!

(Previous: TF Girls Club 1 2)

This sketch was waiting for me to clean it up since last summer, wow.

[rallamajoop]

That time Heisenberg stabbed Ethan with a rusty fencepost

Thanks to this one fic project that needed a pornographically detailed list of Ethan’s most memorable injuries, I've spent some time trying to figure out exactly what Heisenberg stabs him with when they first met. Working mostly from a free-camera version from youtube, I settled on calling a metal pipe with a square profile.

Tumblr: I was wrong. The reality is so much worse.

Having cracked the game files and installed my own free-camera mod, I tracked down the original asset for this thing, and, well...

No, really, this is it! Check out those matching cross-bars if you doubt me.

FWIW, it isn’t actually a spear. Those semi-mangled crossbars flag it instead as a spear-headed fence-post. (This may not be a distinction that Ethan would find very comforting after being stabbed with the thing, but there it is, regardless.)

In fact, if you poke around the cemetery area just outside the castle gate, you can even find the fence it presumably came from.

Look in on the cemetery near the church from the lane leading up to the Duke's shop beside it, and this is what you'll see.

It's not a perfect match (in fact, it's even worse viewed from the opposite side, because someone has clearly stuffed up the textures on different sides of the same asset). I'll also note that if you go back to this fence again after meeting Heisenberg, you won’t find any suspicious gaps in it where a post was recently ripped out. So I’m going to just go ahead and assume this particular piece was lying in a pile of surplus scrap in the cellar somewhere, and Heisenberg did not, in fact, drag the thing all the way there from well outside the whole damn building. I mean, at that point, you’re just showing off.

The fence post is, admittedly, pretty hard to get a good look at in the actual game. Unlike all the other crap Heisenberg already has levitating around him in this scene, the fencepost doesn’t appear at all until Heisenberg stabs Ethan with it. It actually seems to emerge at speed from between a couple of barrels at the back. But if you’re enough of a lunatic to play around with the various slow motion/rewind settings that came with the free camera mod, you can get a decent shot of it in flight, cleaning up any remaining doubt that this is the same asset that was used in game.

It even freaking spins in the air as it moves. FTR, yes, it does go in pointy-end first. And the whole fucking spearhead ends up buried in poor Ethan. (Please feel free to insert your own dick-joke here.) Those paying really close attention might even note that the blood on Ethan's shirt is present even before the spear hits him, but that's just going to be virtual-stunt-coordination having a normal one.

I can offer you no similarly definitive insight into why Heisenberg would think stabbing Ethan with this thing was a good idea. I can’t even tell you if he knew for sure that it was Ethan Winters he was talking to at this point (maybe he's just playing dumb, pretending not to recognise him. Or maybe he legit didn't know that Ethan himself had made an appearance until Miranda told him. Sure, he's already got that whole conspiracy board, but finding real pictures of this Ethan-guy is surprisingly hard.) But whether Heis was already testing out Ethan’s ‘interesting body’, or whether he’d just generally assumed that anyone who could survive a full lycan assault on the village wouldn’t be too seriously inconvenienced by a little stabbing, hoo boy was this one way to make a first impression.

I’m not even sure which of these losers is the bigger idiot here: the one who imagined Ethan might still agree to work with him even after inserting a very convincing imitation-spearhead into his intestines, or the one who never thought to seriously question how he keeps shrugging off injuries just as exciting as this one.

They probably deserve each other.

[mccoyquialisms]

my fantasy high red-string-conspiracy-theory-board-of-the-main-mystery lore tracker (a long ass post) (because I love both mysteries AND organization of inconsequential information):

rough chronology of events:

In ages past there is a wedding attended in the Chaos Mountains by Sol and Galicaea of their sister the Witch Goddess to an unnamed giantkin god. This god is a summer god, sibling of the giant winter goddess Ruvina

Over centuries, the unnamed god's domain changes from the sun and summer to fire

This unnamed god is killed and their name was wiped from history. The other gods remember who this being is, but due to obliviati mori, cannot reference them directly to mortals. Red shatter stars appear around this time

850 years before present day, the Witch Goddess's name is erased by her followers (encouraged by followers of Galicaea) and she is transformed into the Nightmare King. Before she does she performs the 4 trans-substantiations to resist being "unmade". Her familiar Kalina becomes a plague and begins to spread through the mortal populace. These events likely happen after the death of her spouse, as there is no reference to a spouse when the Witch Goddess was previously mentioned

Roughly 4-6 years before modern day, the pit fiend Bakur attempts to resurrect his god, whose name was lost "so they could not be worshiped." The return of this god is felt to be a significant threat to the world. Lydia Barkrock and her adventuring party stop him by sealing Bakur in a red gem in Lydia's chest, where she keeps him imprisoned with her rage

The Ratgrinders, then called the High 5 Heroes, meet in freshman year and consist of Kipperlilly, Oisin, Mary Anne, Ruben, Ivy and Lucy.

They xp level up by killing rats, twig gremlins and other small magical creatures in the woods behind Aguefort

The events of freshman year happen and Kalvaxus is released. During prom, Ragh spots Jace Stardiamond talking to Arianwen. He is later "barbarian healed" by Porter and after this can see Kalina. Kalina finds Ragh later and threatens Lydia if he talks about what he's seen

Sophomore year spring break happens and the Nightmare King is transformed into the goddess now named Cassandra

At some point Lucy began to return to the woods after party sessions to revive the rats they killed. She did this long enough and with enough regularity that the rats remember her name/face well and think of her fondly

Paperwork is submitted for Lucy to change her god from Ruvina to a god whose name cannot be read, just before her disappearance. A few days later a second request is submitted to withdraw this change. Neither form was ever seen by Lucy's teacher Yolanda Badgood

Lucy was killed near Lake Shimmerstone by multiple assailants with both weapon and magical damage towards the end of sophomore year, in the period of weeks after grades were complete, but before summer break. The area has multiple uprooted trees, some of which were used to hide her body. Unholy rites were performed over her body to force her soul to the beyond, so she cannot be revived.

Lucy is reported as dead but her body was never found. She was described as "not alive in this material plane" via divination

Because of the timing of her death, her party was not moved to pass/fail as all grades for that year had already been submitted

Night Yorb and the long dark summer happens

Buddy Dawn, a cleric of Sol, is specifically requested by the Ratgrinders to be their new cleric for junior year

Also over the long dark summer, the Loam farmers are accused of embezzlement and the Frostyfair festival is moved from there to the Thistlesprings tree at the recommendation of Lola Embers. Sklonda Gukgak is assigned as the Loam couple's public defender

Kipperlilly finds or is found by the rogue teacher and has passed the whole of junior year

Junior year begins. On her first day, Kipperlilly questions Jawbone on where YES! was created

Kipperlily announces she is running for student body president and her primary platform is for uniform equity under the rules without "favoritism"

In the mall of the Synod, the event that kicks off the battle is Cassandra becomes angry hearing Kristen isn't coming to help find followers. She says "This isn't fair!" as a razor-sharp flickering star of red light emerges from her chest. 24-point, red shatter stars infect nearby wizards and turns them into rage-filled, violent, giant versions of themselves. The people taken over by the shatter stars are instructed by an unknown voice to attack Cassandra

Cassandra is able to be calmed by a high persuasion and when she does, she expels multiple shatter stars. She seems to recognize them and says "I thought you were dead.”

Before Kalina is taken over by the shatter stars, she looks to Riz and says "Ragh Barkrock". She then slits Cassandra's throat, triggering a new round of rage in Cassandra

Cassandra suffers multiple attacks and begins to transform into a giant, red raging version of herself and attempts to kill the party. Before she's successful, the gang are swept away in a time loop back to Spyre. The Bad Kids see the Synod is destroyed, and Kristen finds she has shards of Cassandra in her pocket

Kristen attempts to commune with Cassandra and hears a voice say "She is at my side once more." The voice then mocks Kristen with YES!'s body and then tells Kristen it is coming for her, and it will break her irrevocably.

Ivy sees Fig disguised as Lucy at the party at Seacastor Manor, and has an inscrutable reaction to it, but did not seem surprised

The cloud rider engine in Fabian's basement is broken and a piece is found missing

Kipperlily does the food truck event with the subliminal OK messaging on the packaging

Ruben Hopclap performs at FrostFaire when he is attacked by Principal Grix. Grix is eventually killed by Fabian. The Bad Kids determine Ruben was doing some kind of ritual with a song about anger above an arcano-tech array in a 24 point star pattern, successfully releasing a large amount of some type of magical energy.

Simultaneously, Yolanda Badgood is killed at Lake Shimmerstone by immense concussive force damage, and afterwards her body is expertly hidden. She is subjected to the same unholy last rites that Lucy was.

The Bad Kids find Lucy and Yolanda's bodies, and Kristen releases their souls, who travel to the beyond on a "trail of moonlight"

Sklonda's clients are found murdered

Mazey reveals that the Vice Principal (i.e. Jace) does not become the Principal, and it would be the student body president who becomes the new principal of Aguefort

additional info we can reasonably infer or that don't fit neatly in the timeline:

Buddy's grandparents, and likely Buddy himself, have a vested interest in his grandfather becoming the cleric teacher. He went to Aguefort and is familiar with the school. Presumably he wants this to be able to preach about Sol and spread his influence

At some point before her death, Yolanda told Jace about her concerns regarding Lucy's deity-transfer paperwork

Cassandra is not dead, but is "beyond reach"

Lucy and Yolanda were noted to be in "realms beyond", which Brennan specifically noted they were taken from and "whatever was happening there"

The Ratgrinders are gunning for the bad kids and seem to be orchestrating situations to try to get them to take drugs

Porter's philosophical discussion with Fig regarding the concept of protection and how that is often inextricably tied with rage, that one can act as a fuel for the other

Porter is a paladin of the ancestors, and at some point was mentioned to be a goliath, though this seems to be debated in canon. If true, it's possible he's a descendant of giants

Kristen bring's up Sol's wrath and Buddy does not refute this, agreeing Sol's wrath is a well known aspect of him and he has been quite angry because of the dark summer/night yorb situation

As above so below. What the gods do affect their mortal followers, but conversely, what the mortals who follow them do also affect the gods

A god can only come back from death in a place a god had been born or created, meaning Bakur's decision to try to revive his fallen god in the Red Waste was what doomed it to failure

Bakur's documents are written in the language of giants, and his deity is said to be from the same region as Ruvina. Combining this with Adaine’s research, and the “mitochondrial magic print”, Bakur’s god is Cassandra’s former spouse

The cloud rider piece was likely stolen by the Ratgrinders as Kipperlily asked Aelwyn to research schematics of the device

Kipperlily seems to be keeping information from some of the other Ratgrinders, telling Aelwyn she needs to "protect Oisin" from their shady deals

Kipperlily's mother works for the city treasury and her father is in real estate. Neither are super wealthy, but Kipperlilly has been paying Aelwyn large amounts of money to obtain arcane components. Given the timing of this with the disappearance of a large sum of money from the Frostyfair accounts, the timing of the murder of the people who were blamed for it, and that the new chosen location happens to be the home of one of the Ratgrinders rivals, the Ratgrinders involvement is thought to be likely

Cassandra's whispered clue of "spies, tongue, curse"

Places outside Spyre, like the Synod, are easier for dead gods to reach

For whatever the Ratgrinders have planned, a student being the principal of Aguefort is essential for it. A lot of people have had to be conveniently absent or dead for this circumstance to occur.

This is all not even touching Aguefort's whole journey through time and possible time quangle issue and whatever the fuck Fig's Bad Luck Thing is. I'm not convinced that these are related to the god stuff and are likely their own separate issues. also, I am tired lmao. If you want to hear my rambling theories, I'll be making a separate post.

[manygeese]

ok we’re so back guys (shoutout to @demigod-shenanigans)

Piper and Leo’s Book Club

Piper was lingering near the doors of the library, waiting for a certain best friend of hers to arrive for book club. They’d joined it after the great schedule fiasco, taking weeks to settle on a club to share with each other. At one point, they’d had a conspiracy board laid out in Piper’s bedroom, with a list of clubs, their pros, and cons on it.

YEARBOOK CLUB

PROS: looks good on college applications

CONS: child labor

COOKING CLUB

PROS: for all ye poor souls who have not family and consumer sciences

CONS: Piper has never touched a pan in her life and may spontaneously combust

LGBTQ+ CLUB

PROS: like minded individuals

CONS: we were going to join this anyways and we need something ✨special✨

Finally, they found one they could agree on:

BOOK CLUB

PROS: media literacy!!! hell yeah

CONS: ain’t none (honorable mention: nerdy as fuck)

So there Piper was, at one end of the campus while Leo had to make his way over from the other one, on a hot August day. Piper flipped through the pages of her book, which she had narrowly finished before the meeting, hoping to whatever gods were real that nobody asked her comprehension questions about it. She was barely awake when she had read the last few chapters of it last night.

Two figures turned the corner, making Piper look up from the book to see who it was. She scoffed when she made eye contact with Leo. “Took you long enough!” She yelled, putting her hands up to her mouth to make the sound travel farther (not needed; his eardrums would have burst either way).

“Oh, I’m sorry your highness, I had to haul my ass all the way here from the 100 building. That’s like, 17 miles,” he hollered back.

Jason laughed from where he walked next to Leo. Shucking off one of the backpacks hanging off his shoulder, he handed it to his boyfriend, who hugged it to his chest. Leo leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek. “Thanks for carrying it, babe. Have fun at football practice.” Leo fell into his spot beside Piper and waved goodbye as Jason continued walking.

“Bye, Leo. Bye, Pipes.” Jason waved back.

“Bye, Jason,” Piper and Leo said at the same time. “Jinx. Jinx again.”

They squabbled over who had to buy who a soda as they entered the library, lowering their voices to whisper-shouts when they noticed nobody else was nearly as loud.

“Oh, by the way, did you read the book? ‘Cuz I sure as hell didn’t,” Leo drawled, slamming his backpack down on a random table. Piper followed suit.

“You had two whole weeks, man.” Piper eyed him judgingly.

Leo rolled his eyes in a fashion that looked painful. “And those two whole weeks were used to study for my first multicultural literature test, idiot.”

“How does one study for a literature test, hmm? Does one, mayhaps, read?”

“I hope you get Juliet in the play so I can watch you die.”

Piper laughed a little louder than was appropriate. “Ok, but what were you really doing? Because I know for a fact that you never study.”

Leo held his hands up in surrender. “You caught me. I was, like, a quarter into the book yesterday afternoon when Nyssa came in asking for help on a project. She was building a model for her world geo class, something about replicating the Parthenon, so naturally I accepted. I didn’t spend hours listening to Annabeth yap about Greek culture for noth-“

“Hi, Annabeth!” Piper greeted cheerfully, looking between Leo and the girl coming up behind him.

“Did I say yap? I meant expound. Expound elegantly and gracefully, which I am forever grateful for.” Leo turned around quick as a flash, gesturing theatrically with his hands to explain himself.

Annabeth had a smirk on her face as she flopped her book bag down next to theirs. “I’m glad you liked my expounding, Leo.”

“Always, smartypants.” Leo sent a few finger guns her way. She returned them half-heartedly. “Actually, could you take a look at the blueprints? Nyssa was kind of uncertain about the details. Apparently she doesn’t trust me. Tragic.”

“Tragic, indeed.” she said, pulling her reading glasses off of the collar of her forest green sweater. “Let me see.”

~*~

Piper was stuck among various kinds of nerds, she thought with a bored sigh. Annabeth and Leo, obviously, were geeks. Annabeth’s friend Malcolm was so clearly a dweeb. And Piper herself was a dork by proximity.

It was nearing the end of book club, around 3:00. Leo had somehow bullshitted his way into getting others to think he read the book, while Piper and Annabeth had squealed about how cool the premise was. Piper talked about the sustained metaphors, Annabeth rambled about the imagery, Leo tried to derail the conversation to discuss what happened in his fifth period, Annabeth shushed him, Piper shushed him, Malcolm shushed him, Leo grumbled under his breath about them being no fun, so on and so forth.

The librarian shooed them out of the library at 3:05, fretting about a meeting of the school committee of something or other in 10 minutes. Piper and Leo gladly left the premises, with Annabeth heading out to study with Malcolm at Town Center.

“I’m gonna go watch the football practice. I think Hazel’s there, too, should be fun if you want to tag along,” Leo offered, already walking backwards towards the football field. He swung his backpack back and forth, having not yet put it on.

Clang, said the support pillar that Leo ran into.

“You should really stop walking backwards,” Piper stated after she stopped laughing. Leo rubbed at the back of his head, giving her a glare.

“Fuck you. I meant it when I said I want to watch you die.”

Piper pulled out her phone and opened her text messages. “Sorry, my dad’s already here for pickup. Have fun watching your himbo boyfriend work out, you sap,” she spat as she ran out to the parking lot.

“I’ll tell him you said that!”

[blooming-amaranth]

The more that I think about it, the more the "Danny is a banshee" headcannon makes sense and I've had thoughts about this swirling in my head for ages since you can find justification for it in canon.

incoming (long) ramble

So, first of all, yes ghostly wail since banshees wail yada yada BUT ALSO Danny's ghost sense could be an aspect too! Banshees are seen as an omen of death, since their cries are a warning that death is near. How could they know death is imminent unless they could sense it? (the dots are connecting hopefully).

I double checked the wiki, and it's not a halfa thing since Vlad doesn't have it (it was apparently implied but we never saw it, so). Dan and Danielle have it yes, but there's the obvious Danny connection there; Tucker had it that one time when he made that wish, but he specifically got Danny's abilities, and Paulina had it briefly that time with Spectra, but that leads into my next point.

Banshees are usually women. Paulina getting the ghost sense briefly makes sense then (if we're looking at it as a banshee thing) since she's female. For Danny, him being a male banshee (called a farshee when I looked it up) plays into his rare and unique circumstances thing he's got going on, so it still makes sense, while also explaining why we don't see any other farshees really.

"But his ghost sense is due to his ice core" I raise you, "Danny's ghost sense manifests that way due to his ice core." Remember Dan is a mix of Danny and Vlad, and since they have different cores it can be assumed that Dan has a different core from Danny. And what do you know, Dan's ghost sense manifests differently. Thank you very much.

puts conspiracy board away

[wolveria]

You've got more planned for Yielding???? 👀 Also gimmie Revan x Reader I love me some old republic 👌

Sadly no, that's just the original doc for Yielding XD I'm sorry!! But you know I've got more Crosshair lurking in the wings

YESSSS BABE I'LL GET YOU SOME REVAN GOODNESS

The bridge was dark, empty of crew, which was odd considering the ship was currently being boarded by the enemy.

You wouldn’t have seen it with your eyes, the light too dim and sporadic, but you sensed the presence, as old and familiar as a much-beloved blanket, though this one had grown strangling around your neck.

The dark robed figure waited, motionless, in front of the massive viewport. He’d been… expecting you? A small, hopeful voice tried to make itself heard, but you crushed it down before it could speak. You gathered your focus and calmed your emotions. There were too many to name, vying to be at the top, but there was only one that ruled the others.

Rage.

You unclipped your lightsaber from your belt.

“Hello, Master.”

You ignited the blade.

The hood of the figure slightly turned, its wearer moving his head in your direction, and words filtered through a mask, twisting the once familiar voice into something alien and cruel.

“Not the greeting I expected.”

You shifted on your feet, one sliding back as the other moved forward. Readying your position.

“But it is the one you deserve.”

He paused, another tilt of his head.

“Perhaps.”

You crept closer, blue lightsaber raised in a defensive position, watching for the snake to strike.

“By order of the Galactic Republic and the Jedi High Council, you will surrender yourself into my custody.”

“For what crimes?” he asked, amusement flitting at the edges.

“Treason,” you spit out, unable to keep your own tone anywhere near civil, rage bleeding into the words. “Sedition. Conspiracy to kidnap high-ranking officials, assassination of high-ranking senators, and war crimes against the galaxy.”

“That’s quite the list.”

You wanted to bare your teeth, but that would carry you forward to the action of biting.

“I’m not done. You will also be charged with the near complete genocide of the people of Telos IV.”

Finally, some emotion other than amusement.

“I did not order that bombardment.”

The slope of his shoulders were stiff against the constellations and battle outside, bursts of orange and yellow where lasers and torpedoes hit their targets.

“And yet, it was carried out in your name,” you said, voice low, the words simmering around the hum of your lightsaber as if the blade agreed. “For your glory. Don’t turn away from it now, Lord of the Sith.”

He still wouldn’t turn to look at you, as if unconcerned there was a lightsaber at his back, and his lofty words confirmed it.

“Where are the rest of my jailors?”

You bristled.

“They’re coming.”

In the distance was an explosion somewhere on the ship, and your old master tilted his head once again.

“Yes. I’m sure they’ll be here any moment.”

You leapt at him before you realized what you were doing and swung your lightsaber down.

A crimson lightsaber ignited and arched over his head, blade parallel to the ground, and he blocked your attack without even bothering to turn around.

You pulled back your blade and swung again, but he ducked under it, moving behind you as you spun. He brought his crimson weapon down and hit your blade so hard you were forced back against the cold transparisteel of the viewport.

The severe mask stared down at you from inches away, reflecting the blue and red dance of the locked lightsabers. Even after all your training since he left, Revan was still stronger than you. Faster. More experienced.

But he hadn’t been hurt the way you had. He didn’t have your pain.

The rage of his betrayal, the agony of his abandonment, the loss of your old mentor, you poured it all into your limbs, your strength, and with a scream in your throat, you shoved him back.

[symphonic-scream]

Here are more thoughts from the Siblings Au stuff

It's about time I. Talked about the Thieves all meeting up. Most of this au is just happy family times but, they do all get ot be friends

Starting with Haru, Makoto, and Goro, in their first year at Shujin.

Makoto and Goro head in together, both unwilling to admit they're happy to be in the same class, and wind up sitting halfway back, near a rather shy looking student. It takes a week for them to really start talking, but, Haru considers the two friends. Well, one more than the other

There would be a funny ongoing bit that their classmates are convinced Goro and Makoto are twins. Yeah they have different family names but maybe it was a separated at birth thing? There's a mini conspiracy about them

If you've been around my blog for a while you probably can guess where this will end up. Spoiler alert, by the end of their first year, Goro will be third wheeling for study sessions.

Haru falls first, Makoto falls harder. Makoto is over at the Sakura residence more because it's less chaotic, and gradually earns the trust of a very protective younger brother. Akira pulls her aside one night and tells her Haru likes picnics, and tells her what flowers to get. And, he smiles knowingly when his sister comes home from her date smiling all wide, and rambles to him on his bed

Across the city, Makoto climbs up to her top bunk and grins and kicks her legs all full with joy, and her three younger siblings make barfing noises and shout "Gross!" as she calls her big sister to tell her all about it, Sae's wife Tae calling her gay in the background of the call

Then, the friend group expands. Second year for the older three means first year for their siblings. And, a chance encounter with two blonds, one natural, one dyed, which leads to More Gay

Ann and Shiho my beloved I am not budging from that BUT. Akira is hella gay, and now has his own crushes to ramble about when spending time with his big sister Haru. The athletic, kind-hearted, sometimes stupid, Ryuji Sakamoto. And, the angelic, odd, quite autistic Yusuke Kitagawa. It'll take him a year to get Ryuji on board for Operation: Blue Twink Seduction, but they'll get there

And by that time, Futaba is in her first year, and befriends three siblings in her class; Kasumi, Sumire, and Sophia

And. High school happens. Shit happens, but they're there for each other. Is this a cop out to finish this post now? Yes. But y'all are also free to ask about this or suggest shit

[taags-old-account]

I posted 22,731 times in 2022

That's 2,656 more posts than 2021!

285 posts created (1%)

22,446 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kydrakinetic

@draal-the-deadly

@theminecraftbee

@talesofarcadiaforever

@pacificwaternymph

I tagged 3,073 of my posts in 2022

#the arson human talks shit - 130 posts

#favourite - 126 posts

#ask game - 116 posts

#ask games - 116 posts

#thanks for the ask! - 74 posts

#gods and hunters - 47 posts

#writing tips - 43 posts

#tales of arcadia - 38 posts

#yes - 32 posts

#:) - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#'don't let her see your power in the daylight' could be a reference to the trollhunter amulet and sword of daylight and how jim needs to hi

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sometimes a family isn't a mom, dad, 2.5 children, and a white picket fence. Sometimes it's:

- A near 1000 year old punk wizard boy who needs a hug.

- A very sarcastic talking cat with poor eyesight.

- A plant goddess.

- An Akaridion warrior queen.

- Her little brother, who gives off pure aroace vibes and can build a mind reader in 2 hours.

- A short gremlin king with a very large conspiracy board.

- A dude who's a fan of hard rock, and has a warhammer.

- A very sassy blue child who needs 10 years of therapy.

- The troll history teacher that tried to kill the sassy blue child 10x over. He's also dating the sassy blue child's mother. Troll dad #2 of sassy blue child.

- The Mother Of The Sassy Blue child. Who for some reason didn't think that something was seriously up with her kid. (Plot Armour.)

- A guy who was there for comedy relief, but somehow got a bully redemption arc.

- Purple punk child who got posessed by former evil sorcerer lady once.

- Troll dad #1 of sassy blue child, he likes reading and burning books.

- A Troll covered in moss, he's the wingman and a former pacifist.

- Former evil sorcerer lady with a similar aesthetic to a Marvel Norse God, but actually had a point.

- Adoptive dad of punk wizard boy. Who says he doesn't care that much. But he cares A LOT.

279 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#4

It's time for some Empires Propaganda...

Come watch Empires SMP Season 2! We have the following:

A little scrunkly goblin man who lives in caves and likes pickles and scams

A catwoman that actively commits crimes against humanity A totally normal human. Yep absolutely a human

A Princess in a pretty pink tutu that will fight entire monster armies (it's secret though hush)

The Sheriff who's definitely not a toy

The witch that got expelled from the academy for destroying reality as we know it

The Dungeon Master who keeps his dubious amounts of smooth stone inside a tomb

A 5ft 11ft god complex personified whose obsessions include dirty jokes, gold, and the word 'Lore'

A reality traveler who decides that trusting nobody and stealing clothes off of corpses is the best chance at survival

The self-appointed princess who decides to trust the little blue lights leading her into the dark cave is a smart idea to get a kingdom banner.

The hardwood seller, whose adoptive father is part rabbit and whose idea of father-son bonding is animal slaughter

Heterochromia but through nefarious skull means. And he's not straight

Pirate who asks nicely first before stealing any of your belongings

The one-night stand of a child who consistently has to deal with both of his 'daddy's' excessively worse-by-day dirty jokes

286 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

#3

"If your wondering why I use he/him pronouns for the allays, I just think of them as himbos"

Thanks, Pixl for this new mental image /pos

289 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#2

Despite TOA being done, I am creating propaganda...

Come Watch Tales Of Arcadia! We Have The Following:

A magic amulet, which gives you really cool silver armour and a death sentence!

Cheeky Wizards x4

Murder board created by a small teen who has the ability to 'Tokyo Drift' a car

A literal hacker/Queen of an entire planet

Crispy

Jim Lake Jr, one of the best animated TV protags I've ever seen.

A hellfire of a movie

Magic Siblings :)

A dog who pisses explosions

MMMMMMMM GLORY

*enters Janus Order* *two aliens are playing techno music* *bones are everywhere* TEEN CENTER!!!!!

Getting possessed by eldritch wizards intent on destroying the world is completely normal.... IT'S FINE.

Strangely specific threats.

Really cool CGI animation.

"bUT A GnoMe IN A DOLLHOUSE??"

an insane amount of AUs

Haha what is this sadness? Why is everyone dying? *Play's STARSET's Unbecoming*

I suggest looking up the definition of 'Moppet'

The entirety of the word 'Buttsnack' being used so casually

"SHUT UP STEVE"

The Goblin Revolution

Jim Lake Jr, one second being the definition of a sweetheart. Two minutes later, "Hey Strickler. *spits in his mouth*"

The Breakfast Reckless Club

Steve's screams.

Troll Jim.

Toby being the bestest friend you could ever ask for

The murder of a highschool principal.

Assassins and Bounty Hunters galore.

See the full post

346 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The defining traits of humanity are NOT sex, romance, and empathy.

The defining traits of humanity are our creativity, adaptability, and our boundless amounts of hubris.

As well as arson.

1,730 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[d1stortedsky]

About that dsaf actor au you did a few days ago, do you have ANY more information?? You skipped over him so fast/lh

I'm unsure if you're specifying a character so I'll drop a few for Matt since I didn't talk about him much

-He somehow shows up exactly on time every single day without fail, not a second too late or early

-In the time it took for filming, Matt's appearance never changed. Ever.

-Has an unblinking stare that creeps everyone out

-Yes the wide smile is just as freaky in person as it is in the films

-No one is entirely sure he's human

-Theres a community conspiracy board in the break room and so far the theories are that Matt is 1. An alien 2. A demon 3. A cryptid 4. An unfortunately creepy looking person 5. A lizard man. No one knows which one he actually is

-He frequently responds to people with rather creepy sounding responses. Whether or not it's intentional isn't clear

-Some people *cough*Dave*cough* believe that Matt lives in the forest and is secretly Bigfoot attempting to blend into human society

-While filming Matt is always near the prize corner. He Never leaves it, at least, while someone's eyes are on him

[murderessdominatrix]

Where did I gush about how amazing Biden is? All I did was shit-talk Trump and point out Biden isn't directly responsible for conservatives passing transphobic state laws.

The post posed a question: 'would it matter either way?' and my answer is 'yes it would'.

Biden might be bad, but Trump is far far worse.

As a minority myself, I've felt much safer living under the Biden administration than the Trump administration. I DONT LIKE BIDEN, but I still feel safer living under him than I ever did with Trump. Biden has never rallied his supporters to kill me, or blamed me for the issues in the US. Biden supporters haven't committed acts of terrorism under his name, and Biden didn't go 'great job at committing terrorism you guys!'

As a minority, did you genuinely feel safer living under Trump than Biden?

Sidenote- since you're evidently educated on the subject, tell me, what exactly are Americans supposed to do now? And what are your thoughts on Project 2025?

Edit: I saw your bio and I just realized something. If you're really 20 now, then you would have been 12, 13 when Trump was elected. You might not have realized how BAD things really were under Trump because he's the only president you'd really remember. He's your baseline, your 'normal'. But he wasn't a 'normal' president.

It's not normal for presidents to fight with other world leaders on Twitter and threaten WW3. It's not normal for presidents to tell people to drink bleach instead of following the advice of your Cheif Medical Advisor. COVID would not have gotten as bad as it did if Trump had taken it seriously from the beginning the way he was supposed to instead of espousing conspiracy theories. COVID is still around partly because he didn't do his job correctly.

The day after Trump was elected, I went to volunteer at an LGBT center. And EVERYONE was terrified. One person was damn near tears. Because a man who had publically called for the eradication of queer people had just been elected. Trump emboldened the homophobes to do the shit they're doing now. People were finally getting on board with equal rights for gay people. Gay marriage was enacted federally just one year before Trump was elected. And Trump essentially ruined it.

When Biden was elected, every queer person I knew breathed a sigh of relief, because he NEVER called for the eradication of queer people. He said he would enact protections for LGBT+ people, and he did! (Like, it wasn't all him, but he helped enact federal protections for queer people). For example government health care and insurance cannot discriminate based on people's sexual orientation or gender identity. Trump would do his best to eradicate that law.

In general, when people vote for presidents, they don't vote for who they like, they vote for who will do the least amount of harm, and that's Biden.

i don’t know how to feel about all these anxious posts talking about how trump’s shooting is going to be a rallying point for the right & how they’re going to use it to win the election. because while yes, i’ve already seen people making a martyr of a living man because of this, it’s been obvious for months — if not well over a year — that biden is not winning this fucking election. it was obvious before tonight; it was obvious before the debate: biden’s ass is losinggg!!!!

and even if it hadn’t been obvious, even if biden actually had a fighting chance in this upcoming election, please be honest for a second: would it matter either way? 200 palestinians were killed just today in an ongoing genocide funded and supplied directly by joe biden, which has killed — in the course of only nine months — well over 180,000 people. and if you seriously believe trump would be worse for gaza than biden, just look at where gaza is now: hospital bombings are routine and un-newsworthy, just as is children as young as a day old being shot at, bombed, or buried under rubble. how much meaningfully worse can it be?

and if you are somebody who only cares about domestic issues, — a cowardly and remarkably selfish political standpoint to have in the united states, the most powerful country on the planet whose fingers are in the affairs of every other country on earth — be clearheaded. biden has done nothing but further push the democratic party right. more police killings have happened under his tenure than trump’s; roe v. wade was overturned during his administration; and he has done absolutely nothing to stem the tide of reactionary transphobic bills being passed in state after state.

it’s joever. it’s been joever. if you don’t see that now and you’re still seriously campaigning for this man, i think you are naïve, stupid, selfish, or all three.

[chaoticyumelikes]

The Devil (Cuphead) x GN!Reader headcanons

Warnings: Possible spoilers?

·        SO! You managed to catch the attention of none other than the King of the Underworld – The Devil/ Old Scratch/ The Big “D” himself. Congratulations!

·        While at first he just thinks it’s the novelty of a brand new soul he wishes to collect, he strangely finds himself trying to sabotage his own tricks to get it. As if he actually cares not to get you hurt which is completely strange to him.

·        In one such cases in which he sabotaged purposely his own schemes, he shape shifted into a random person and while pulling you away from his set up, you two got to take a walk and just talk. You find him extremely charming and intelligent while his interest on you just grows. After a little soul searching (and a big help from Henchman) he finally gets it. And as soon as he understands these feelings….Oh boy…. He’s on a mission!

·        Despite being overly confident in himself, he is still The Devil. He cannot do anything just straight on. Which means he is SCHEMING. Every detail as if he was doing a conspiracy board on how to get you to fall for him (both figuratively and literally) and confess your love to him FIRST! (Yes, he IS that prideful. Hey he invented Pride™)

·        I mean, how could you resist him? – he thought

·        As a powerful entity, he would use and abuse every trick up his sleeve. From shapeshifting into others to tell you about how great he is and to know how far along you are into falling for him or just getting to show off how powerful he is as a whole.

·        Fortunately for you, before he can set all these complex and idiotic plans into motion, Henchman intervenes by conveniently placing books on “normal” mortal ways to flirt/date.

·        Henchman does not tell his boss how these books just randomly pop-up at random places. He may be a simple demon but he has an outstanding sense of self-preservation thank you very much.

·        The Devil would try to approach you casually and trying his best to look the least menacing yet fabulous as possible. This would include talking to you in a more private setting because (since his reputation precedes him) people KNOW him. And trying to properly meet you with every denizen screaming and running would not only be less than ideal, it could make you afraid of him as well.

·        If you ARE afraid of him at first, he just applies Cuphead’s philosophy and “DOUBLES DOWN” on his efforts at trying to court you.

·        Same thing happens if you are somehow too oblivious to his advances.

·        He tries to reduce his anger outbursts around you. Can’t have his s/o have third degree burns over his tantrums from not getting a certain cup’s soul.

·        Speaking of Cuphead, he not only roots for the relationship, he and his brother totally take advantage of it by sticking to you.

·        Mugman is obviously more reluctant than his brother to cheer for your relationship, on the account that “IT IS THE DEVIL WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” and is overall concerned (like the rest of the friends and family that love you) for your well-being. BUT! If you are both happy, then maybe the Devil will leave Cuphead’s soul alone. Win-win.

·        The Devil will totally NOT leave his goal of getting Cuphead’s soul. However, whenever you are near the boys, he will be at his best behavior, toning down his poorly concealed rage while the brothers make funny faces at him every time your back is turned.

·        If the Devil feels particularly frustrated about the boys you try to soothe him by reminding him they’re just kids – “Just wait till they’re teens, they’ll willingly give their souls to you”. You meant this as a joke. He didn’t get it as such but his mood improved so…..win?

·        His minions appreciate you very much. Whenever the Devil is with you his mood improves and his treatment towards them also gets….a bit tiny little less severe (they know they are in Hell, they take any nano improvement they can get).

·        Usually Henchman acts as the bridge between you two. There are significant differences between you and the Devil, culture or otherwise, so Henchman fills in the gaps and as he advises his boss he is there for you too.

·        In fact, Henchman is the one to tell you to say you love the Devil first cause of his ridiculous pride. Both of you roll your eyes at the Devil’s antics which results in the beginning of your friendship.

·        Whenever a fight erupts between you two all of Hell knows (hard not to when the Devil makes a tantrum so big the walls vibrate and the flames rise). And all of Hell is quick to intervene. Henchman deals with the Devil (only one who can do it without risking major injury or death) while all the others talk/beg/bribe/trick/anything to convince you to forgive their lord.

·        Let’s face it, if they can, they WILL make sure you two get hitched for life. They just got used to a little less torture in their life, they do not want to let that go. Which includes not letting YOU go. Even if you are a kind soul ready to go to Heaven upon death….they are all plotting into making you do any type of crime to make sure you stay in Hell after your end. They can get desperate.

·        Meeting the family….well…. it’s going to be awkward at first. Every family member will keep a great distance while the Devil is on the couch sipping tea. Fortunately the Devil has loads of experience deceiving/convincing mortals with his wits and charm and by the end of the day your family warms up to him. They are still quite wary and they even make threats on his life should he ever hurt you (something he finds simply adorable).

·        Yes, unfortunately for you, many keep their distance should they slight the King of the Underworld in any way, shape or form. Even being too friendly might rub the Devil the wrong way. Or so they believe. In actuality, he doesn’t mind your friends. He thrives on attention so he gets the needs to have friends. But, should anyone be foolish enough to forcefully flirt with you, his mere presence usually deflates the intruder and if not, well his sharp pointy trident can be quite the convincer.

·        He never resorts to violence in your presence unless someone is dumb enough to hurt you.

·        If you defend him in any situation he finds it so adorable he gets literal heart eyes and just tries to place you behind him to protect you.

·        His tail unconsciously makes the shape of a heart sometimes while he’s looking at you. Do not tell him that though, he will actively deny it and try to correct his tail.

·        If you pet his head or massage his shoulders he will purr, but just like a big cat, once he realizes he is purring he will shoo your hand and try to act more dignified.

·        If you happen to have self-esteem issues… Well, that won’t do at all! Have you met him? And his ego? He is THE BEST! And he CHOSE YOU! As soon as he suspects even the tiniest bit of self-deprecation – b*tch, he is seething! Immediately he is by your side to prove how wrong you are. He wants the names of the ones who offended you in any way so he can get their very souls to suffer. If it is just you, he will take things as a challenge. How dare you even think bad things about yourself?! He will do anything to change that mind set. He will read books, introduce you to better self-care rituals, talk to you about it and actively listening while taking notes on his brain on how to “fix it”. “Provoke him” enough and he is setting a whole slide presentation on how amazing you are. You. Will. See yourself. How he sees you dammit!

All in all he is in it for the long haul. Whatever it takes. He just gives you the illusion of a choice in the matter.

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[nevertheless-moving]

Star Wars Aus

I have so many star wars time travel aus in my head. writing fanfiction is really, really hard (mad props, no idea how you do it). it is 1:26am. and i have come here to shout into the void.

crack/rock star fluff fix it: obi wan several years post ROTS travels back to the very beginning of TPM. Had enough time to mostly process/repress Order 66 and imagine 10000 if-i-had only-done-things-differently, so after a fairly brief freak out he can pass off as an intense force vision, he’s a pretty effective time traveler. Frees Anikan AND Shmi, keeps qui-gon from dying, properly kills maul on Naboo. Anikan is brought to the creche so he has time to befriend other initiates and learn Jedi culture before becoming a padawan. Obi wan is a young knight, he privately tutors Anikan and works with him on his issues and also his issues. The very first second Palpatine starts sniffing around he point blank tells Anikan do not let yourself be alone with him, I can’t explain completely but trust me and Anikan does. 

Obi wan also has the independence to go off on missions and start covertly undoing only-visible-in-hindsight complicated sith conspiracies that have been eroding the republic and trying to gather actual evidence to take Chancellor Palpatine down cleanly without people turning on the Jedi. Doesn’t confide in anyone because a) he’s still a crazy hermit man and b)his biggest advantage is that Sideous has no idea he’s on to him. He has to disable all the back up destroy-the-Jedi plots before he plays his hand.

But this is all just background plot for the real meat of this au! Which is Obi Wan Kenobi is secretly a famous mystery pop star! Bear with me!

Obi Wan needs covert money to work against sideous.

 He has knowledge of the future! Easy money. 

He could invest in stocks or gamble on famous races, but... 

 Just in case his covert ploting and secret money ever gets uncovered (yeah, he’s Xanatos gambiting) he needs his source of space cash to be clean, and not seem like everyone’s worst fears about Jedi seers.

What was that ridiculously viral pop song towards the end of the clone wars that got stuck in every human and near-humans head? That never stopped playing on space radio? That obi wan of course knows all the words to because its the most viral, slightly irritating but so catchy song ever made?

And wasn’t the guy who wrote it just, the worst? Like, Obi Wan wasn’t exactly following celebrity gossip, but towards the end of the songs replays someone would feel the need to ‘you know what that guy does to’- ‘yes. its a pirated version’. R Kelly problematic. Absolutely fine stealing his art before he makes it, noble even.

And hey, Obi Wan’s got a decent singing voice. 

So! Obi Wan goes down a few levels. He finds a sketchy recording studio, picks up some backup musicians from dive bars, and records a demo.

The song goes out from a big recording studio who got it from a small recording studio who got it from an agent who got it from a lawyer who got it from a mysterious B.K who never reveals his face, who was absolutely convinced it would go viral, just protect the copyright, don’t ask or answer any questions, and channel the money into these discrete untraceable accounts and you can be ridiculously wealthy. 

It takes a year or two, Obi Wan is a little concerned that the cultural influences just didn’t come together. or he didn’t replicate the recording perfectly enough. oh well.

And then it becomes an even bigger hit then the original timeline

He has enough money to fund his one man campaign against the trade federation. Success.

B.K’s mystery identity fuels a ravening, obsessive fanbase. The random band he picked up become overnight stars, and they literally have never seen B.K’s face, he appeared out of the ether, paid them in beer for a couple days while they jammed together and arranged with the lawyer for them to get a cut of the proceeds ‘once the song took off’

A few people who know obi wan do make jokes that the singer kind-of sounds like him. Bant and Garen tease him a little and try to get him to come to space karaoke to sing it but they never actually think its him. 

Qui-Gon, who listened to him sing in the shower for a decade asks him about it the first time he hears the song and Obi-Wan just acts offended that he things he would write trash like that. He’s still a little suspicious but he know Ob-Wan doesn’t even like pop music so he just chalks it up to the force working in mysterious ways. 

Quinlan is convinced its him. Obi-Wan won’t flat out deny anything, just scoffs and responds sarcastically. It drives him absolutely insane. Because it is just such a stupid song and Obi-Wan writes sad poetry how did this happen. WHO even are you. Makes conspiracy boards with yarn. Obsesses over it. Tracks him and finds him doing convert anti-trade federation/banking clans stuff. HOW DO YOU HAVE TIME TO DO THIS AND BE A SECRET POP STAR.

[shizukateal]

Penny Spender and Ángel Guerra are Doorman's "Angel"

So today's update had this line:

"Tool..." Ángel squinted, distaste clear in his smile. "That is my father's term. His people's, your... Consortium's. The book is haunted, yes, but not a tool unless treated like one."

And the gears in my brain silently turned until the lightbulb popped with realization.

Aside from the name, Ángel preaches pacifism and empathy similarly to Doorman (although I think the latter does it better), and Penny is the only character we know off with white spectral energy that could be hosting a Wight who would speak in rainbows. As I noted in that shitty paint graphic I did before, I found it strange that the Angel could communicate in the physical world, even if it was by phone spirit. If she was a spirit with a physical form then she probably wouldn't need to rely on Doorman and Nin to do her work, or even need Forge as a reinforcement, since all dialogue surrounding her makes her seem like a very powerful presence. My guess is that Penny practices some form of Spirit Fusion or possession to talk to Doorman like that, but we still are a bit too short on info to guess that.

As to why Penny and Ángel would do that, my best guess is that it all has something to do with whatever conflict is brewing between Francisco and BL. It seems father and son share the same disdain for the Consortium after all.

This also puts certain things into perspective. For one, maybe the master Guerra that Isaac was talking about on this page might be Ángel instead of Francisco, although admittedly Isaac mentioning the agents in Isabel's house puts a damper on that. Still, if I'm right that could say something about how he made his connection to Doorman. Also, assuming that the theory that Forge used to be Max's Mom/Agent Summers' spirit is true, maybe the reason the Angel knows about him is because Ángel knew her when she lived in Mayview. Both of them have kids the same age after all, so if Ángel was ever a part of the Consortium it makes sense that they would work somewhat near each other.

So yeah, I'm adding this one to the conspiracy board alongside the one about Dimitri telling BL about Max, which for some reason doesn't seem to appear anywhere at all when I post it.

[rayshippouuchiha]

S&B au Shouto is just showing off his conspiracy theory board while wearing the sweater and matching socks Izuku made him while Izuku is going “that’s lovely dear, how did you come about that conclusion? That’s so interesting, sweetie, you’re such a clever boy” while crocheting in the way grandma’s do, and Shouto will glare at anyone who comes near them and is straight up ready to kill a man if they interrupt his grandma *coughcoughfuturehusbandcoughcough* time. Like Shouto is living his best life here, showered with Izuku’s affection and validation for his theories and he is down for murder (preferably Endeavor’s) to keep it that way

Dabi just takes one look at this entire situation, senses that he is in danger of being taken care of & just nopes on out of there.

Oooohhh yes absolutely.  Shouto is staking his claim early in this one cause Izuku really is the entire package for him.

Meanwhile Izuku is totally making him sweaters and all kinds of stuff with nods to his favorite conspiracy theories on them.

Dabi would see that entire situation and just fucking book it in the opposite direction, not that that’s 1000% guaranteed to save him.

[celticcrossanon]

Reading on Harry’s energy

(PA) Hi CC, here’s my reading on Harry’s energy. Buckle up, the narrative of Meghan being the monster and harry the poor kid is completely false : Harry isn’t doing okay. He’s very unhappy in his daily life, he takes recreational drugs but doesn’t seem to take antidepressants. He’s wants to come “home” in UK, he misses it : the admiration and royal life. He doesn’t want to come alone but would want to come back with Meg and the kids. He wants William’s and Kate’s life. He’s very much in love with Meghan and he likes her. He’s happy and on board with everything she does against his family. The attacks are usually joints idea by them both. He was surprised at the racist talk because Meghan is a pathological liar and messed up the timeline because she wanted to sensationalise it. There was no racist comments EVER. But he does wants to name someone as racist to hurt them : it’s Camilla. It’s a way of avenging his mother and it’s a bonus if it hurt his father. The pendulum said no for Charles, Queen or William as racist. It’s particularly Camilla. He really wants to hurt his family. He’s very scared of William so he doesn’t want to attack him but he’ll have no problem going for kate as it will hurt William. So Meghan attacking and obsessing over kate doesn’t bother him he’s entirely okay with it. I COULD NOT read on Harry/Charles, the pendulum wasn’t moving at all so I can’t tell you anything on if he wants to hurt his dad or not. I even asked if he was Charles son but again the pendulum did NOT move, that was very weird. Charles does give Harry money. Less than £1M/month : just enough for daily expenses and to feed the kids. Meghan and Harry are in HEAVY debts, they will need to leave the house ASAP bc they can’t pay the mortgage (but they won’t get evicted) He’s okay with hurting his grandma, he wants her to suffer because he doesn’t get his way but he doesn’t want her dead. He just want her to cease being the monarch. Her being the Queen stops him from getting what he wants. Meghan doesn’t want the Queen dead either, she wants drama and suffering. Someone dead cannot suffer (that was very disturbing to write and read on ngl) He doesn’t particularly care about his children they are just here. He’s very immature emotionally so his children are draining because he wants to be babied, not have babies. He doesn’t intend to leave the marriage or separate from Meghan in the near future but he regrets some things he told her that he shouldn’t have said. He doesn’t know secrets but he told her a lot of fake stuff : he sensationalised and blew things out of proportions and also told her a lot of conspiracy theories that could fit her narrative post divorce. He’s aware of that. He would love to be king. Oh, he would LOVE to be king so damn much. I couldn’t calm the pendulum. He doesn’t want anyone dead but if everyone could abdicate or give him the throne he would happily take it (I’m really really emphasising his envy. It’s a secret dream of his). His memoirs is pointless but if it hurt the family it’s okay for him. That’s the whole point, get media attention and admiration and hurt the family. Kill two birds with one stone yk. He wants to take part in the jubilee 100% YES. he wants to be a VIP, and have an active part in the events. For me he apparently won’t get the right to - which is a relief. But it’s still one year away so it might need to be read on later. Right before reading Harry’s energy I’ve seen rumours of Harry cheating on Meghan when he was in Colorado (would love a reading from you CC) : energies says he isn’t faithful despite loving her (she isn’t faithful either apparently) and yes he cheated when he left for two weeks with a celebrity??. Which Meghan feels humiliated, hurt and will punish him for it IDK how but the pendulum said she might cheat in retaliation (what even is this relationship they are very toxic) It kinda felt a lot so I stopped there :) So yeah that’s all I’ve read on Harry, it was tiring in a different way than Meghan. Kinda more disturbing because he wants to hurt his family so much. I’m also weirded out by the fact that the pendulum stopped working when I asked if he wanted to hurt Charles. I would love to know your or PA2 input on that. Even if I reset the pendulum and flick my wrist it would stop working immediately ? It never happened before. Please, if you’ve got any further questions feel free to ask xx