#yes she was more proud and dramatic as a teen than she’d ever admit

[favoriteblogonthecitadel]

WIP Wednesday!

Haven’t posted any writing in a while, but I was sitting through some old docs and found a lonely little snippet that gave me young!Xiomara feels.

Less of a story and more of a character exploration drabble, but still :)

When she was sixteen, her teacher told her she wouldn’t live past twenty-five. The statement was a cheap repeat of the age-old speeches meant to keep teenagers out of gangs. He screamed it on a day she ran his patience thin, and she could see it in his eyes that it was meant to make her hurt. But all she could do was stare, because to her, it was obvious. She had known from the first time she had shot someone on the street: you sign into that life with someone else’s blood, and know that someday, someone might claim yours in turn.

Hearing it from him only made her feel powerful. It showed her that he felt the need to knock her down a notch. She saw him for the small man that he was, someone who could not control her any more than he could step out and challenge someone his own age. She leaned back in her chair, feeling herself grow drunk with immunity. Feeling like nobody could touch her. Wearing the pride of knowing that she chose to live quickly at the end of a gun barrel, rather than rot slowly in front of a dirty classboard.

She threw one hell of a twenty-sixth party. She took every shot she was handed and privately toasted to her teacher. Here’s to staying alive on spite and a paycheck.

Two months later, she led forty marines to their deaths.

[hopelikethemoon]

Christmas in Laredo (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: christmas in laredo  Rating: PG Length: 3300 Warnings: Fluff Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in December 1996. Starts with Javi POV but goes back to Reader. Summary: Javier and Reader head to Laredo for Christmas

Taglist:  @grapemama​  @seawhisperer​ @huliabitch​@pedropascalito​ @rogrsnbarnes​@thewallpapergoesorido​ @twomoonstwosuns​ @gooddaykate​@livasaurasrex​ @ham4arrow​ @hiscyarika​ @plexflexico​ @readsalot73​ @hdlynn​@lokiaddicted​ @randomness501​ @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @just-add-butter@snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian​​ @lukesrighthand @historynerd04@mrsparknuts​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​ @awesomefandomsunited​

Javier headed out of the house towards the old beat up pick-up truck Chucho used for driving around the ranch’s acreage. The same old hunk of junk he’d had since he had been a teen. Not much had changed on the ranch. His childhood home was still decorated exactly as it had been in the sixties, save for a handful of updates he’d helped with before he left for Colombia. 

“They’ll probably both be out for an hour or two.” Javier explained as he settled into the passenger seat, glancing at his watch. “I don’t think she feels well.” He continued, brows furrowed as he glanced back at the house as Chucho started down the dirt road. “I don’t want her having to deal with Josie alone.” 

Chucho chuckled quietly, drumming his thumbs against the steering wheel. “I’m proud of you son.”

Javier swallowed thickly, “Don’t get sappy on me.” He said gruffly, looking out the window. 

“After all the shit you pulled as a young man, you’ve finally got it all figured out.” He shook his head. “The two of you are good for each other.” 

“Nah,” He clicked his tongue against his teeth. “She’s way too good for me.” Javier sighed a little, picking at a piece of lint on his jeans. “I worry I’m gonna wake up one day and be back in Colombia. That all of this — my family — was a dream.” 

His father hummed thoughtfully, “And what would you do if that were the case?” 

Javier rubbed at the back of his neck, “Go back to sleep?” He shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know pops. I’ve been hung up on her for a long time.” 

“I know you have.” Chucho reached over and patted his shoulder. “You don’t still beat yourself up over Colombia, do you?”

Javier clenched his jaw and shrugged again. “I try not to. But it took a toll on me and I can’t just… It’s not something you just let go of.” He stared out the window. “I’m just trying to focus on the future. You know?”

“Mhm.” Chucho nodded. “You excited about the new baby?”

“So fucking excited, pops.” Javier grinned, turning to look at his father. “We were starting to lose hope. Almost six months of disappointment and then…” He shook his head. “I get to be there this time around.” 

“If you need help with Josie when chiquita goes into labor, you do know my number, right?” 

Javier rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah.” He pushed his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to call you the first time around, pops. Get advice, all that shit. But…” He shook his head. “It’ll be better this time.” He looked towards Chucho then, “I’ll have to talk to her, but it would be nice to have you in Miami when the time comes.” 

“When’s she due exactly?”

“Mid-May.” Javier smirked. “Probably a week after Josie’s birthday.”  

Chucho chuckled and a comfortable silence settled between them. He’d spent so many days throughout his childhood riding shotgun down dusty gravel roads; skin tanned by the afternoon sun, hands calloused from hauling fence posts and cutting wire. 

Back then he’d never pictured that he’d come back with a partner, a daughter, and one on the way. The future was never something he thought about back then. He never thought he’d have a fraction of what his parents had as a couple. As a boy, Javier always looked forward to the long rides in the pick-up with his father. That was when Chucho would talk about her, telling stories from when he was just a baby — stories from before he was born. She had died when he was only thirteen. 

“She’d be proud of you.” 

“I know she would.” Javier swallowed thickly. “I think about her all the time.” 

“Sofía would’ve loved your lady too.” Chucho chuckled. “She doesn’t let you get away with anything, does she?”

Javier huffed and shook his head. “Never has. First day we met she called me out on my bullshit before she’d gotten her desk unpacked.” 

“That’s what you needed.” Chucho told him, veering off the main road and down a worn path towards the far end of the ranch. “I never had a problem with Lorraine, nice girl… but not right for you.” 

“I didn’t love Lorraine.” Javier admitted. “Not like I love her. We realized the other day that we’ve been together for ten years. Five as partners and five as… partners.” 

Chucho looked at him, “You ever think about marriage?”

He shook his head, “Neither of us want that.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “It’s better this way. We don’t need some church or piece of paper telling us what we have. We know. We always have.”

“I really am proud of you, son. You finally got your shit figured out.”

Javier smiled as he looked towards his father. “Yeah. I have.” 

 ———

 “Here chiquita, try this.” Chucho said as he sat down a small container of candied ginger on the coffee table beside you. “Sofía swore by them when she was pregnant with Javier.” He tapped the top of the container. 

“Thank you.” You smiled as you sat up slowly, rubbing your stomach. “It’s not as bad as it was with Josie. I was miserable.” You peeled the top of the container and fished out a piece of ginger. “I hate being down for the count.” 

“You’re pregnant, you’re allowed to be down for the count.” He settled down on the chair across the living room, sinking back. “Javi’s got Josie out visiting with the horses. Figured you could use a break.” 

“I appreciate it.” You offered, grabbing another piece of ginger. “These are good.” 

“I keep them around for heartburn.” Chucho explained, “Gets worse the older you get.” 

“Doesn’t everything?” You laughed softly, getting comfortable on the sofa. “Thank you again for letting us come out here for Christmas. I know Josie’s enjoying seeing her abuelo again. She talks about you all the time.”

“She’s a good girl.” He offered with anod. “You and Javier did good with her.” 

“Thank you.” You popped another piece of ginger into your mouth. The sweet and tangy combination was more than a little addictive. “She’s a really good kid. I don’t know how that happened, considering Javi and I are who we are.” 

Chucho sighed heavily, “Javier only got rebellious after Sofía passed.” 

“He showed me pictures of her yesterday,” You smiled softly. “She was beautiful. I think Josie looks like her.”

“Uncharacteristically.” Chucho grinned. “I see it in her eyes.” 

You rubbed your hand over your stomach as you stared across the room at Chucho, “If we have another girl… I want to name her after your wife. I have no idea if Javi and I will have more after this.” You weren’t certain you could endure another six months of struggling to conceive. 

“She would’ve loved that,” Chucho answered. “But I’m warning you, don’t name a son after me.” He teased. “I don’t trust those gringos not to butcher it.”

You laughed heartily, rolling your eyes. “They can hardly pronounce Javi’s name.” You grabbed another piece of ginger. “We haven’t discussed names yet. I think we’re waiting until we find out what we’re having.”

“What do you think you’re having?”

“I don’t know,” You started. “When we were in Colombia, I was told my morning sickness was a sign that I was having a girl. And that was right.” You glanced down at the small curve of your stomach. “

“What do you feel like you’re having?” Chucho questioned again, “What does your intuition tell you?”

“A girl.” You answered. 

Chucho nodded his head slowly and smiled warmly. “Another little girl to have Javi wrapped around her finger.”

“He’s a fantastic father.” You mused, “Must’ve learned from the best.” 

He waved his hand dismissively. “I think it had to do with other influences.” 

Your cheeks warmed, “He was all in, right from the beginning.” You chewed on another piece of ginger. “Did you two talk?”

He shrugged, “You know how Javier is. He’ll talk when he’s ready to talk.” 

You definitely understood that aspect of Javier’s personality. Neither of you were very good at talking, unless you reached the boiling point. But you were trying to be better. “I know he’s excited about being part of it this time. From the start. Did he tell you he told everyone he ran into?”

“And still didn’t call me.” Chucho shook his head slowly. “That boy just can’t call his father.” 

You snorted. “I promise I told him to!” 

The backdoor opened and closed and you heard Javier’s voice as he fussed at Josie to remember to take her boots off. 

“But I wanna wear them!” 

“I’ll be back.” You sat the ginger aside and peeled yourself off the sofa, wandering out of the living room towards the backdoor in the kitchen. “You can’t wear your cowgirl boots in the house, sweetheart.” 

“Momma!” She whined, sticking out her bottom lip. 

“Were you out with the horses?”

“Yes.” 

“Do we let the horses in the house?”

“We could.”

Both of you laughed. 

Javier shook his head, “You’ve got to leave them off for right now. I’ll clean them and you can wear them this evening.”

Josie sighed dramatically before she flopped onto the floor to pull her boots off. 

“How was your nap?” Javi questioned, smiling warmly at you.

“Good.” You leaned into him as he wrapped an arm around you and kissed your forehead. “Your father gave me some ginger. It’s helped with the nausea.” 

Javier rested his palm against your stomach, stroking his fingers over your shirt lightly. “I’m sorry, baby.” 

“Momma,” Josie said as she kicked her boots off. “Are you feeling yucky?”

You crouched down to her height, “Your little brother or sister is making me have a tummy ache.”

She threw her arms around you and you laughed, curling one around her. “Get daddy to kiss it and make it better.” Josie urged, pulling back to show you a little scratch she had on her hand. “He made this all better.” 

“Did he?” You looked at her hand. “I don’t know, I think it needs another kiss.” She giggled as you pressed a kiss to the spot. “Better?”

“Much!”

Javier offered you his hand to help you stand back up. “Hey princesa, why don’t you go see if your abeulo needs help with something.” 

Josie didn’t need to be told twice, she was already off in hot pursuit of her grandfather. You laughed softly, leaning into Javier’s side again. “She never wears out, does she?”

“Never.” He stroked your back. “You good, baby?”

You smiled at him, “Chucho and I were talking about you.”

“Oh God.” He groaned, dragging a hand over his face. “Should I be worried?”

“No!” You shook your head as you laughed. “We were talking about what a good father you are.” 

“Well, that’s a relief.” He leaned down to press a quick kiss to your lips. “He took me out to the other end of the ranch to mend the fence. Not nearly as bad as he made it out to be.”

“I think he just wanted some time with his son.” You told him softly. “There’s still a few things we need to get from S-A-N-T-A. Do you want to run to the store with me while he keeps her occupied?”

Javier nodded, “Sure.”

——

“They didn’t have places like this when I was a kid,” Javier grumbled as you wandered down another aisle. 

“Yes, well… Josie isn’t living in the Dark Ages. She doesn’t have to play with rocks for entertainment now.”

“It was sticks.” 

You rolled your eyes. “It’s the last thing that was on her list.” Your gaze scanned up and down the aisle, before you spotted the action figure she had asked for. “We’ll probably live to regret this.” After all, it had multiple different sounds, buttons, and buzzers that would keep her entertained. 

“Hey,” He started, running his hand down your back. “They didn’t have this over in the ridiculously pink aisle.” Javier pointed to a play pretend cop outfit. 

You fixed him with a look, “I wonder why.” You pulled it off the hook, flipping it over to look at what all came with the set. “I don’t know if Santa should bring this.”

“What? You don’t want her pretending she’s like you?” 

“I’m pretty sure she wants to be a princess. Unicorns and all.” You tossed it into the cart anyways. It would make a decent stocking stuffer. 

“Princess Police Force?”

“I’d watch it.” 

Javier continued pushing the cart forward as you stared at the rest of the Toy Story toys that were on display. Josie had taken a liking to Buzz, but you were tempted to get her the matching Woody toy as well. Especially since she was obsessed with the boots Chucho got her. 

“Javi, do you think she’d like to have both?” You questioned as you rounded the corner. “It also makes noise, but we could take the batteries out.” 

Javier took it from you, brows furrowed as he read over the back of the box. “There’s only five phrases.” He sat it in the cart with everything else. Neither of you were very good at saying no to spoiling her. “She’ll get a kick out of matching Woody.” 

You stopped abruptly as you rounded the corner, spotting a familiar face down the next aisle. Of all the people you could possibly run into in Laredo, it just had to be Lorraine. 

She turned, eyes going wide as she stared at Javier. “Fancy seeing you here!” Lorraine said lightly, her smile faltering slightly as she looked towards you. You were fairly certain she was even more surprised to see you, than she was to see Javi. “Are you spending Christmas at Chucho’s?”

“No, we drove all the way from Miami to shop at Toys”R”Us.” You remarked with no small amount of sass. “How are you Lorraine?”

“Last minute Christmas shopping.” She smiled, avoiding your rather hostile comment. It was pretty obvious why you were in Laredo — as if everyone didn’t already know everything. It was a small town and everyone talked. “How is your daughter, Javi?”

“A handful.” Javier answered, his hand sliding over your shoulders before he slid it down to settle at the small of your back. “She keeps us on our toes.” 

“How old is she now?”

“She’ll be four in May.” You said as your hand went instinctively towards your stomach, rubbing over the slight curve there. 

“Oh.” Lorraine laughed awkwardly, her eyes following the path of your hand. “Are you…” 

You nodded. “I am.” 

“Another happy accident?” Lorraine questioned. 

Javier looked between the two of you, lips drawn into a thin line. There wasn’t really any animosity between the two of you, but there was certainly an awkward tension. It had been three years since you had talked to her at the wedding and you still hadn’t forgotten how she’d gotten under your skin with her blatant judgment.

He cleared his throat, his hand snaking around to rest at your hip. “Actually, no.” Javier shook his head. “We’ve been trying.” 

Lorraine flustered at that, “Wow. Look at you Javi. Really embracing being in the family way.” She folded her arms across her chest and looked towards you. “I’m impressed.” 

“How is your husband?” You questioned, crisply, your brows rising upwards as you stared at her.

“Randy’s great. Just got a big promotion at work.” She looked to Javier then. “Are you still with the DEA? I heard a rumor you got a new job.” 

“No. I’m teaching at the University of Miami.” He pulled you a little closer, not entirely oblivious to the way you had tensed up beside him. “This one is still kicking ass and taking names.” 

You laughed a little, rolling your eyes at Javier’s praise. “I’m just consulting for the Miami Police Department. It’s much nicer than working for the federal government.” 

“I’m so glad I didn’t have to work while I was pregnant.” Lorraine sighed. “Especially with my second. I felt like I needed to be home. You know?”

“I can’t relate. There is no way I could stay stuck at home during this.” You made a face. “I have to keep busy.” Your eyes flickered towards Javier, “He makes a much better stay-at-home parent.”

“Really?” Lorraine’s brows drew together as she turned to look at Javier. “I honestly didn’t think this would last. No offense,” She offered to you, “But I know how Javi is.” 

Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, before clicking it against his teeth. “I hate to break it to you Lor, but you really don’t know me.” He shook his head slowly. “Not the same guy who left you at the altar.” He pointedly looked at his watch. “Shit, pops is going to want to start cooking. We need to go relieve him of Josie-duty.” 

“It was so good to see you Lorraine.” You said with a too-cheery grin. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas.” She offered in return, matching your cheer with a faux-cheer of her own. 

 ——

You stretched out on the bed, sinking into the mattress as you ran your hand over the curve of your belly. Your mind wandered back to the toy store encounter with Lorraine. You understood her — she had been left at the altar by someone she had loved more than they loved her. But it was years ago and you hated that she still had Javier pegged for being that guy. Even over the course of the ten years you had known him, he had grown and evolved.

Even from just last year he had changed. 

He wasn’t trying to outrun himself anymore. 

Javier walked into the bedroom wearing just a pair of boxers and a white tee shirt that was see-through in spots from where his chest had still been wet after the shower. 

“I thought you’d be asleep.” 

“That nap did not help.” You scooted further up on the bed, tucking your legs beneath the covers. “And I keep thinking about the whole Lorraine weirdness.” You admitted. You were trying to be better about communicating. “I hate how everyone just assumes they understand our relationship.” 

“I know.” He pulled back the covers and slid under them. “I don’t get the weirdness. She said there were no hard feelings.”

“You’re precious.” You teased with a snort of laughter. “You left that woman at the altar… there will be hard feelings until the day she dies.” You shoved him in the arm playfully. “Why did you even get engaged?”

“We were fresh out of high school and it seemed like the logical next step.” He shrugged a shoulder, sinking back into the pillows beneath him. “Everyone put a lot of pressure on me to do it. We’d been sweethearts through high school, you know how it goes.” 

“You really don’t do well with pressure do you?”

Javier huffed and dragged his hand over his face. “Fuck no. I wanna have a choice. A say.” 

You scooted closer to him, draping your arm over his chest, tracing your fingers over his collarbones. “I’m sorry I took that choice away from you when it came to a lot of stuff with Josie. I know you hated keeping it a secret.” 

He squeezed your arm, before he ran his hand down the length of it. “That was different. You gave more of a shit about the DEA than I did. That was your dream and… Sometimes you’ve got to make sacrifices in a relationship.” 

You tilted your head and smiled at him. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment. “You wanna wait for Christmas to do gifts?”

“I told you not to get me anything.” 

Javier rolled his eyes. “I know what you’re getting me. I had to get you something.” 

“I like surprises.” You met his gaze and smiled, “How about we open them tomorrow. After everyone goes to sleep?”

“I suppose that’ll do.” Javier reached down to stroke your stomach. “How are you feeling?”

“That ginger your father gave me really worked.” You smiled at him, brushing your thumb over his cheekbone. “I love you.” You whispered, feeling particularly affectionate in your exhaustion. 

His lips twitched at the corners as he smiled back, “I love you too, baby.” He turned to kiss the center of your palm. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Javier shut the light off as you rolled onto your side beneath the covers. He scooted close and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck as he curled behind you, an arm wrapped securely around your middle. People could assume that they understood your relationship, but only the two of you understood it. 

[allthethingamabobs]

family sticks together, bruh

Notes: I was re-watching the Bay-verse movies and suddenly got irritated at the no last name thing at the end of the second one. April O'Neil was right there. Their ride-or-die, their badass older sister, their hogosha. So here's my first contribution to the TMNT fandom. I literally wrote this in half a day, so if you see any writing errors all I gotta say is...my bad. Enjoy the found family fluff!

Rating: G

Also on AO3.

April figured it all started with a package hastily stuffed in her mailbox. It was barely small enough to fit, wrapped in that tough paper-cardboard material, and took a few careful pulls to get out. She couldn’t recall ordering anything recently, so the least she could do was try not to destroy what was most likely her neighbor’s mail. But when she flipped it over for the addressee, she was surprised to see “Mikey O’Neil” on it.

April and her “childhood pets” had been reunited four months back now, and it continued to throw her life upside down. A happy upside down, though. Those two names together were doing a number on the loner habits she’d built up since her father’s death. Apparently, all it took was four mutant teenagers and their father to start breaking down those walls.

She snapped a photo of the package and sent it to Mikey as she walked up to her apartment. Her phone lit up with a video chat request seconds later. The boys were just like any other teens when there weren’t bad guys to fight—they loved texting (on their one-of-a-kind turtle phones), sending her snaps, and video chatting whenever they could. April supposed that 15 years alone in a sewer could make one a little starved for new attention, and she was always happy to talk.

One of Mikey’s eyes filled the screen first, and then his grinning face when he pulled back. “You got it!” he hollered.

There was a thump from somewhere behind him, and Leo yelled something about peace and quiet when meditating. Then all she could see was a blurry carapace as Mikey quickly escaped to some other part of the lair. “You got it!” he cheered again, down to a whisper-yell.

“Sure did,” she answered with a smile, while making sure her apartment door locked behind her. “A little heads up would be nice, though. People do steal packages.”

“Man, that would’ve been no bueno. It has my name on it and everything.”

She shrugged—it was New York, what could she say. “About that… Mikey O’Neil, huh?”

He brightened. “Yeah! Makes sense, right? You’ve always been family even if we got separated for like, way too long, and who wouldn’t want to be a badass O’Neil?”

“Hm.” Her smile was fond even as she bit her lip to keep herself from doing something dramatic like tearing up. “You make some excellent points.”

Mikey nodded, seemingly proud of his reasoning. “You get me, April. So when are you gonna come hang out?”

“Not until tomorrow at least.” She set the phone on the counter as she turned to mess with the oven dials. “I’ve got to eat, and then a grimy bathroom and donation boxes are calling my name.”

Two weeks ago, a great aunt she hadn’t talked to since her father’s funeral had passed away and apparently left her succession rights to a New York miracle: a rent-controlled apartment above a quiet antique store. It was a dated unit and still smelled a bit like old people, but she was making it work.

A whine came from her phone. “Aw, shell… Oh, hey! We could help! Four mutants and a human are better than one!”

“That’s sweet, Mikey, but I’ve got this.” Plus, she was starting to pick up the brother’s dynamics. That visit would devolve into complete chaos in no time, given the cluttered mess. There were a lot of breakable objects she was still in the process of either packing up or donating.

“Your loss, Ape. Guess we’ll see you tomorrow.” He got up close to the camera again and whispered dramatically, “You’ll bring the package, right?”

She snorted and leaned over so he could see her face. “Pinky swear.”

“I don’t have a pinky, so I’ll have to believe you. Bye, April!”

The screen went blank, and April had a glimpse of herself in the reflection. She had to admit… her smile looked a lot more genuine these days.

In work news, however, life had been a lot of sucking up to Bernadette and the team after getting her job back, so she didn’t get down to the lair until late in the evening. Entering through the water system wasn’t exactly ideal, so they’d built a biometric, heavily enforced door as an alternative. Leo spotted her first as she shoved her way in and waved from where he was cleaning his katanas.

The new lair seemed to change every time she visited—more light-up signs or beat-up furniture appearing—and she still felt a little guilty for being the reason behind the move. The guys had assured her that they didn’t blame her, and they were having fun with the tall ceilings and tunnels in the new space. Splinter had even claimed one to start a bonsai garden.

“Hey, April! How was your day?” Leo called, carefully setting his weapons aside to get up.

“Not too bad, mostly research on some detox craze—”

“April!?” There was a crash from the back where they had set up a gym area in an upper opening. Mikey came tumbling out, almost right on top of where Raph was exiting the lower tunnel, and he gracefully avoided retaliation. “You got the goods?”

Leo shot her a confused frown, and she answered with a fond “don’t ask” look before rummaging in her bag to pull it out. “Yes, Mikey, I have the goods.”

Mikey bounced over and pulled her into a quick, bone-crushing hug before taking the package out of her hands. He ripped into it and pulled out a gaudy gold chain that looked like it once belonged in a 2000’s music video.

“Bling, bling!” he crowed and threw the shell necklace off to be replaced.

“Wait a minute, is that what was so important you had to order it?” Donnie said as he and Raph joined the group. “That’s such a waste of money!”

“Some ninja you are,” Raph snorted. “You can see that ugly-ass chain from a mile away.”

Leo hummed at that and then frowned. “Mikey, did you even ask April if you could send that to her place before you ordered it?”

Said turtle shrugged. “I knew she wouldn’t mind.”

The others seemed to erupt at once.

“Except it’s an unknown package being sent to her place, especially with the Foot Clan knowing her association with us—”

“Even worse, it’s inconsiderate to just assume—”

“Even worse, Leo? What kind of bullshit is that—”

April was an only child (well, not so much anymore), so she wasn’t used to how quickly one small thing could turn into a full blown argument. If pushing got involved, then 6-foot mutant turtles or not, she would break up that fight—yup, there’s the shoving.

“Guys, GUYS!” April moved forward and intercepted the beginning of whatever as they all avoided bumping into her. “It’s fine. You can have stuff sent to my place, I don’t care. As long as I can get it down here.”

It took a little more convincing to assure them that no, they were not imposing on her, and then they seemed excited about this new opportunity. Apparently, they’d had to scout out addresses before and sneak the package away before the occupants realized. Obviously, this was much more convenient.

Steadily, they all started to order stuff online (with what money or credit card she had no idea) and have it sent to her place. Parts for Donnie, books for Leo, and though she only felt it through the packaging, yarn for Raph. At first, Mikey was the only one who used O’Neil for the address. Then something changed, and they all started to use it too. A package of tea addressed to Splinter O’Neil gave her a small laugh one day. Raph had been the last to address himself as O’Neil, always so stubborn, and seemed almost shy when she delivered it.

April knew she was very biased on this, having seen them as teeny-tiny babies, but her little-big brothers could be pretty adorable sometimes.

---

The last name thing had come up with Splinter one day as they sat in his quiet bonsai garden, enjoying some tea while the boys burned off energy around the rest of the lair.

“I don’t want to overstep any boundaries or anything, but I’ll admit it’s… nice. My dad was really all I had for family, so it was just us and then me for so long. It’s almost like this has all… I don’t know, come full-circle? If that makes sense?”

Splinter smiled and reached out to lay his hand on hers.

“I was not lying when I said I modeled my parenting after your father. One way or another, you both cared for this family, and you know we consider you a part of it.” April nodded, a little choked up, and grasped his hand. He’d said it himself, but she wasn’t ready to fully relive how Splinter felt so familiar, so comforting.

“Besides,” he continued with a chuckle. “Michelangelo has quite enjoyed having a last name, and I think the others were a bit hesitant before they saw that you didn’t mind.”

“Of course not, I’m all for it,” April laughed, wiping under her eyes. “Now there’s more than just me to make the O’Neil name proud.”

---

One other thing she had discovered about being a big sister to four trouble-prone teens: full names were extremely effective.

“Donatello O’Neil!” she shouted the second she stepped into the lair, and all movement ceased. Leo balanced on one foot, mid-throw, Raph was mid-swing across the lair, and Mikey had an orange soda titled towards his face, where it slowly dripped down his front.

A weak “Oh, shell” came from the direction of the lab, and she stormed over. A taunt from Mikey followed but was quickly cut off with a grunt. Donnie was hunched over his desk, head turned slightly to look up at April’s furious approach.

“Why the hell did I just find a tracker in not one but all of my jackets?” She reached into her pocket, grasped the tiny devices, and tossed them on the desk. “I almost had a panic attack thinking I was being tracked by someone else. You know that’s been one of my worst fears ever since the Shredder, and we’ve talked about privacy and emergency plans, Donnie. I have a panic button on my phone, and I gave you permission to track it when absolutely necessary.” She let out a frustrated huff, pointing at the trackers. “What. Are. These?”

He’d sputtered a bit and avoided her eyes as she spoke, but he finally looked up when she stood silent, waiting for an answer. His shoulders drooped, and he wheeled back from his desk to face her. Even sitting, Donnie was only slightly shorter than her.

“Contingency plan,” he finally bit out. “Phones are most likely the first thing a kidnapper would get rid of to avoid tracking.”

“Wh— kidnapper?” That caught her off guard, and the tension in her shoulders released a little. Was there a new danger she didn’t know about? “But who… Oh.”

Movement on his tablet drew her eye, and the footage there followed a shady van that looked very familiar.

The Foot Clan—because an organization that big could still survive with their leader in jail for a year now—had disabled her turtle-approved security system and ransacked her apartment a couple of weeks ago. The cameras from across the street told them that and how the intruders had missed April coming home by a mere 12 minutes. They had obviously been searching for something specific, and she eventually realized it must have been the box of notes from Project Renaissance. Luckily, they had been stored in the lair for safe keeping.

After coming home to that mess, April called Donnie right away and started packing up her necessities. All four of the turtles had met her at her usual sewer entrance, and they formed a tense detail on the trip back. She worked out-of-office that week as she laid low in the lair and waited for the all-clear while they doubled up her apartment’s security. Splinter and the boys were good about giving her space when she was working, but she could still feel the hovering and worry. The guys had been in and out more often, Splinter always had some tea ready for her, and she just knew there had been many hushed conversations out of earshot.

Sure, deadly henchmen being in her apartment had freaked her out, but it had really freaked out her new family. April held her own against all of the weird shit they got dragged into, but there were always reminders that she did not have a shell or ninja training; a sprained ankle, one small concussion, too many bruises to remember, and even a few less inches of hair when it got singed in an explosion.

She looked between the tablet and Donnie, but now he held his gaze steady. “The Foot know where you live, and you refuse to move. This was the best way for us to always be there when you need us.” His voice was even, calculated, but his hands were clasped tightly and one foot tapped insistently.

Oh, her sweet, overprotective boys. Under all that bullet-proof shell, they were all just teenagers who had five people in the world to call family, and they did not take that for granted.

April sighed and turned to sit against the desk, holding out one hand. Donnie took it and held on, grip tight. “It comes from a good place, Donnie, but you have to tell me about these things. Trust goes both ways, okay?”

Leo, Raph, and Mikey were hovering around the entrance to the lab, and she gave them all a stern look to reiterate her point. “I know I don’t have a shell, but I am scrappy, stubborn, and awesome at running in heels.”

“Way better than the Jurassic World chick,” Mikey piped up, and Raph lightly punched his arm.

“You’re damn right,” April answered, smiling at his effort to lighten the mood. “So I appreciate the worry, guys, but you need to talk to me. I worry, too. You might forget, but you’re not invincible.”

“Better off than you,” Raph grunted. This time Mikey punched him, not as lightly. “What, it’s true!”

April sighed. “Come on, Raph, you know muscle isn’t everything.”

“No,” he grumbled, “but you got us. Whether or not you like it, we can take the hard hits.”

“What he means to say,” Leo said, shoving Raph back with his shoulder, “is that we were worried, and we didn’t think you were taking the threat seriously enough.” Donnie’s hand gripped hers a little harder, and she looked back to see him nod in agreement. “We are sorry about the secrecy, though.”

April sighed. “Fair point. You know I love you guys,” they perked up at that, “but having back-up is kind of a new thing for me. It’s habit to go solo, and it’s habit for you four to be a team.”

She held out her other hand. Leo was closest, and he took it with some hesitation. “Still a learning process all around.”

Mikey eagerly grasped Leo’s other hand and then Raph’s, refusing to let go even as Raph gave a shake, so they were all joined. “Family sticks together, bruh.”

---

The O’Neils had been a thing for awhile now, but writing it down was very different to actually saying it outloud. Mikey had no trouble claiming his new last name, and had even dubbed some pizza monstrosity he concocted from as many toppings he could get as the “O’Neil Special.” For the others, it took some time to say it—at least when she was around to hear.

Eight months. Donnie had been talking a mile a minute about a phone meeting set up with an award-winning engineer currently teaching at NYU. He’d been given 30 minutes to ask her all the questions he wanted. April had kind of bullied Vern into setting it up with his new connections, and Donnie had asked her to be there for moral support. She assured him it was all going to go great and to just make the call already. His shoulders went rigid under her hands when the call connected. “Hi! Hello, uh, this is Donatello O’Neil, I got your number from Vern? The Falcon?” She squeezed his shoulders in comfort, grinning proudly for many reasons.

One year and 2 months. Raph had been playing a one-on-one basketball game with Donnie while April refereed. Even as the self-proclaimed muscles, Raph was agile, and he did a quick maneuver around Donnie to score a perfect 3-pointer. “And Raph O’Neil makes the shot!” he whooped, doing a quick victory dance. He didn’t seem to realize it, but April certainly did. She felt warm and fuzzy after that, so she let him get away with traveling a couple minutes later.

For Leo, it just hadn’t come up yet. Although, one day she’d been stress cleaning their mess of a kitchen, and opened one beat-up book in curiosity to see “Leonardo O’Neil” neatly written on the cover page. That was enough for her.

Then her amazing family had finally gotten the acknowledgement they so rightly deserved.

“To you, brothers. Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo.” Chief Vincent paused. “Last name?”

The guys all glanced her way, and April didn’t care if her eyes were a little watery at Leo’s answer. “O’Neil.”

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 56c

"She's not going to have the baby here is she?" Peter asked.

“No, she shouldn’t be.” Megan frowned. There was a knock on the front door.

"I'll go answer that." Peter dashed back downstairs and pulled open the door. "Dad!" He exclaimed, throwing himself at his father.

“Hey son. What’s the matter?” Charlie kissed Peter's head as he hugged his eldest son.

"Mum..." Peter began to explain but then her screams echoed down the stairs.

Charlie’s eyes widened. “Labour! I knew something was wrong.” Charlie admitted.

"We tried to call you. She wanted to stay here til you arrived." Peter explained as they headed upstairs.

“Baby?” Charlie called as he reached the bedroom.

"Charlie!" Duffy gasped. Things had deteriorated rapidly in the few minutes Megan and Peter had been downstairs.

“Yes baby, it’s me.” Charlie sighed sadly and kissed her forehead. “You need to go to hospital.”

"I can't move." Duffy panted.

“Peter, will you sit in the hall for a minute whilst Megan examines your mum? Please?”

Peter was rooted to the spot, terrified, his eyes wide as he noticed there was blood on the sheets. That hadn't been there when he'd left her last.

Noticing Peter hadn't moved, Charlie gently reassured him. “A little bit of blood is normal when having a baby. Please don’t be scared. Will you ring an ambulance, explain it’s urgent.”

"OK..." Peter replied shakily.

“Thank you son.” Charlie kissed his forehead and watched as Peter headed out of the room. Charlie felt sick with nerves.

Duffy let out another scream as her waters broke, causing more blood to seep into the sheets.

Charlie wasn’t going to lie. He was terrified! “Baby, you’re doing really well.” He encouraged Duffy, holding her hand.

The pain was constant and worsening. She couldn't respond verbally but her body was gripped by the urge to push despite her fearing it was too soon. Things were moving far too fast for her to keep up.

“You can do this. I know you’re exhausted but you can. Come on baby,” Charlie kissed her forehead.

Duffy tried to push but she felt so weak from the pain and rapid blood loss.

“Please baby, you have to.” Charlie begged. “You can’t stop.”

Duffy tried to speak but couldn't. Her eyes were struggling to focus on him, her skin deathly pale and clammy.

“I love you.” Charlie kissed her forehead again, “Keep pushing. I know you’re struggling but I need you both to be ok.” He whispered.

With each contraction Duffy pushed as hard as she could, her body growing weaker each time. More blood pooled around her as the baby's head crowned.

Charlie caught Megan’s eye and they both knew this wasn’t good. The amount of blood Duffy was losing. He continued to encourage her.

Peter reappeared upstairs. "They... Mum!" He cried in terror.

Duffy's head was rolling backwards and her lips had turned blue.

“Peter, what did they say?”

Noticing the change in Duffy, Charlie panicked. “Megan! That baby needs to come out now!!”

"Ten minutes." The teen stammered.

“It’s too long.” Charlie swallowed. “Duffy? Darling?” He touched her, “Not yet. Please keep going...”

The contact seemed to bring her back slightly.

Megan looked anxiously at Charlie. "The baby's shoulders are stuck." She whispered.

“Where do you need me to press?” Charlie asked.

Megan moved his hands to what she hoped was the right place. This really wasn't her area of expertise.

“We’re both just winging it.” Charlie whispered. They really were. “Sweetie? If a baby’s shoulders are stuck, what do I do? You’re the midwife, tell me.” He whispered to his wife.

"Huh?" Though severely disorientated Duffy shifted his hands slightly.

“Show me honey where my hands need to be if the shoulders are stuck.”

Peter crept closer and sat by his mum's head. "Mum, you need to help dad!" He begged.

“Honey, show me. You’re the midwife, tell me what I need to do.”

Duffy weakly pushed Charlie's hands a little further.

“Keep doing that.” Charlie encouraged hoping it was enough.

Duffy made one last move before briefly resting her hand over his.

“Now what do I do? Do I push down on you?”

Duffy mumbled incoherently.

“Blink once for yes, two for no.”

She blinked once.

“This is going to hurt baby, I’m sorry.” Charlie pushed down hard against her, trying to free the baby’s shoulders.

Peter held his mum as best he could as she screamed. Tears were running down his face. Was he about to lose his mum just like his little brother had?

The baby’s shoulders came unstuck.

“Well done darling, that’s it! You’ve almost done it!” Charlie smiled sadly as he stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead once again.

"You can do it mum." Peter tried to encourage.

“Listen to Peter.” Charlie told Duffy.

Peter repeated the phrase several more times, partially in the hope it would help but mainly as something to focus on other than the screams from his mum.

Charlie reached over and squeezed Peter’s hand reassuringly. He was doing a fantastic job.

It felt like an eternity but finally the baby was born.

Despite the trauma of his arrival the baby was healthy and strong.

"No wonder you caused your mum such trouble!" Megan remarked as she took hold of him. "You're a bonny big boy!" She exclaimed.

Charlie stroked his fingertips against Duffy’s cheek. “Come on Baby, hold on for me.”

"Where's the ambulance?" Peter cried, starting to really panic.

“On its way.” Charlie attempted to reassure Peter.

Peter lifted his gaze from his mum to his baby brother. "He's OK?"

Megan nodded, “Perfectly healthy and strong.” She told Peter over the sound of the baby crying. She wrapped him up in a towel.

"Can I hold him? So you can help mum." Peter asked.

Megan nodded and placed the baby into Peter’s arms.

“Darling?” Charlie touched Duffy’s cheek again. She was breathing but just.

Peter stared at the baby. He'd not been able to hold his siblings after their birth so this was new to him. The lack of noise or movement from his mum was scaring him, there was so much blood. He tried to block out how much of his mother's blood was splattered on his jeans.

The next ten minutes seemed to pass in slow motion but eventually the paramedics arrived. Duffy and the baby were taken to the hospital, quickly followed by Megan, Peter and Charlie.

Peter sat in his dad's office with Megan. As the adrenaline started to leave his system he began to shake.

Megan wrapped her arms around the young boy and hugged him tightly. “You did fantastically! You should be proud.”

"Is mum going to die?" He whispered.

“I don’t know, that’s the truth.” Megan replied honestly.

"I don't ever want kids." He shuddered.

“You’ll change your mind one day.” Megan smiled, “They're just not always a pleasant experience.”

"Its not the first time it's happened though."

Whilst the doctors dealt with Duffy, Charlie held his son for the first time. He’d been weighed and was a healthy 8lbs 4oz! No wonder he’d got stuck. He was much bigger than his siblings!

Megan sighed, “No but some women have complications after birth. Your mother is one of them, unfortunately.”

"So why does she keep having kids? It's crazy!" Peter questioned.

“Because being a mother outweighs everything else.”

"If she was trying to put me off ever having sex then she's succeeded!" He muttered.

Megan laughed gently, “I don’t think that was her intention but I’m glad to see you might be reconsidering your choices.”

Peter looked over at the door. "What's taking them so long to tell us what's happening?"

“I don’t know, they probably want to ensure your mum is stable.” It was an attempt to reassure Peter. But Megan found herself trying to reassure herself - not that she’d show that in front of Peter.

"Or they're trying to work how to tell us she's dead..."

“Peter.” Megan sighed and hugged him again. “Your mum’s tough.”

"So was Louis' mum." Peter replied darkly.

Megan sighed but didn’t comment. What could she say to that?

"I don't want mum to die." He whispered.

Megan hugged him tighter.

It was at that moment that the last vestiges of Peter's strength gave way and he sobbed and sobbed.

She rubbed his back and cradled him, trying to give him some sort of comfort.

Harry entered the small side room next to resus where Charlie was sat with his newborn son.

“Please tell me she’s ok?” Charlie didn’t even look up, too busy staring at his son.

"We managed to stabilise her enough for surgery but she's lost a lot of blood."

Charlie nodded and looked up, “She has to do everything dramatically doesn’t she?” He smiled sadly.

"Certainly seems that way. How she overcame the pain enough to deliver naturally is bloody impressive!" Harry remarked with awe. "Do you really want to hear all the details?"

“She’s remarkable, isn’t she?” Charlie nodded.

"The fact we managed to stabilise her for surgery when we had to resuscitate her twice and we estimate she's lost close to three litres of blood... Well that speaks for itself!"

“I thought it was heading off that amount.”

"The biggest problem was that she was still losing it almost as fast as we could pump it into her."

Charlie nodded, “But she’s stable for now? To be able to go for surgery?”

"Yes. I'll be honest with you though, it's touch and go."

Charlie nodded, “I know. Promise me you’ll do everything you can? I don’t think I’ve got the strength to witness another death...”

"I've done all that I can to give her the best possible chance. It's now up to the surgeon."

Charlie nodded. “Thank you.”

"Does this little chap have a name yet?"

“No name as of yet.” Charlie replied. “We couldn’t agree.”

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?"

“Duffy didn’t like any of my suggestions.”

"Which were?"

“I think we finally agreed on Oliver or Thomas.”

"Both good solid names. Do you want me to talk to Peter about what's going on?"

Charlie nodded, “Please. Unless you want to bring him to me and I’ll break the news to him?”

"He's in your office with your friend currently."

“With Megan?” Charlie smiled, “I'd have fallen to pieces if it wasn’t for Megan.”

"She had the air of someone who knows what she was doing."

“Took me and Duffy a very long time to earn her approval.”

"She's a nurse? Makes sense."

“The old SEN’s.” Charlie smiled. “I mean with everything. She’s a strict Catholic...”

"Ah... I see." Harry smiled. "Do you want me to bring them here or are you going to go to them?"

“Will you bring them in for me? Please?”

"Of course." Harry left and returned a few minutes later with Peter and Megan.

“Hi.” Charlie looked up and smiled reassuringly.

"Is mum OK?" Peter asked. His face was still red and damp from crying.

[letitrainletitsnowbutdontletmego]

One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I love you’ - 82 : “I was in the neighbourhood.”

Thank you all once again for the amazing feedback! Please let me know what you think  - I seriously love, love, love reading all your thoughts. It truly makes my day(s).

This prompt is from @queseraone (who also added ‘because before they feel an electric pull to each other and have to stop by each other’s places’ so I tried to keep that in mind) and @sophiaxjesse , and once again huge thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait for her amazing beta’ing help :)

As always - if you have any prompts off this list you’d like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I’ve so far :))

A knock on at the door at near 9am was not how Erin had expected to start her day off. Lounging around on her couch with some coffee and a pile of Pop Tarts whilst dressed in the most comfiest clothes she owned, yes. Answering the door in said clothes and probably looking a mess, not really.

Peeking through the peephole in her door, she bit back a groan of frustration at the sight of Jay on the other side. Of course her partner had to be here to see her like that. Her partner who could be much more than just a partner if she allowed them to. Or rather, if her somewhat of a father figure did.

Sighing in resignation, she unlocked the door and pulled it open. On the one hand, it was always great to start her day seeing her partner. On the other, seeing him sweating through his t-shirt that probably wasn’t originally stuck to his body but now showed off his well-defined muscles was not helping her keep things professional.

“Hey,” Jay greeted her when she failed to say anything. She narrowed her eyes slightly at his wide grin, ignoring his heavy breathing as much as she could.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in reply, leaning against her doorjamb.

Shrugging, he flung a hand around to gesture between them and the building in general. “Well, I was in the neighbourhood and I thought we could grab breakfast or something,” he told her innocently.

Erin couldn’t help but be mesmerised by the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, probably dry from his morning run. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she knew the most polite thing to do would be to offer him some water, but her brain couldn’t co-operate with her common sense when she was stood in front of a panting Jay Halstead.

“How do you know I haven’t already eaten?” she questioned him.

“Have you?” he rebuked immediately, quirking a brow challengingly. They both knew she wouldn’t have because, as much as she hated to admit it, she was ever so slightly predictable. The reason why Jay could turn up randomly at her door on their day off without a word of warning and ask her out for breakfast without being turned down immediately.

Choosing not to answer him, she eyed him instead and finally addressed his state. “Did you run all the way from your place?”

“Seems like it,” he replied nonchalantly, as if the distance between their two apartments wasn’t over 7 miles away when they took into consideration the park he had run through for a change of scenery.

Scrunching up her nose, she shook her head. “You need to shower before I even contemplate being seen out in public with you,” she informed him, opening the door and stepping back to give him a wider berth than was necessary to enter.

“Is that an invitation?” Jay asked suggestively, his gaze roaming her body all far too quickly for both of their liking.

Erin scoffed. “It’s an order,” she demanded, closing the door behind them and pointing towards the bathroom.

“Yes, ma’am,” he teased over dramatically, even offering her a half-hearted salute as he followed her direction towards the other room.

It wasn’t the first time he would be showering there, and as Erin retreated to her room to grab him a change of clothes, she wondered if it had been part of his plan all along. There was no way she would have gone out for a meal with him in the state he was, and he clearly had no spare clothes with him. But she definitely did.

...

The bright sun did nothing to warm her up as she knelt in the damp grass in front of Nadia’s grave. Summer was just ending but she was sure the chill in her had nothing to do with the weather itself. Tugging her cardigan sleeves further down her hands, Erin pursed her lips as she struggled to think about what to say. It had never been an issue when Nadia had been alive, but that was mainly because the other girl could carry on a conversation with practically anyone. Talking about work was too painful, but talking about something mundane was almost disrespectful. She knew she could talk about Bunny, and her rehab, but having to tell a gravestone about how she was now back in her teen bedroom didn’t really feel right.

A shadow approaching from her right side gave her a slight reprieve from her internal debate of self-depreciation and blame, lips curving naturally at the sight of her partner. “Jay.”

“Morning,” he greeted, taking the final two steps until he was able to crouch down beside her. “I was in the neighbourhood, thought I’d stop by and see how our favourite girl was doing.”

“You tend to hang out around cemeteries often?” Erin teased, squinting up at him before his movements stole her attention. Reaching out, he laid a small bouquet of yellow tulips onto the grass, fingers softly brushing over Nadia’s name momentarily and then returning to his lap. Shock colouring her words, she asked incredulously, “You bring her these flowers?”

There had been a bunch of wilted stems when she had arrived, the flowers already dead with the rain having softened them into decomposition. She had noticed the odd colourful petals around the grave on her previous visits, but had never really questioned them, having figured they had been brought over by the wind from another grave. Erin had certainly never thought they had been for Nadia, or that it had been Jay who had been bringing them.

“She liked them,” he reasoned with a casual shrug, and she bit back a wince at his words.

“She didn’t. She tolerated them at best,” Erin confessed to him. Nadia never found any joy or fondness for flowers, finding them annoying and too high maintenance for her. She would scowl and roll her eyes at the detective whenever she pulled out a vase for the new flowers she had bought. Or the ones Jay had brought her one time during their brief relationship.

“She lied to me?” Jay asked, looking completely aghast at the thought. But then again, that was truly Nadia; never one wanting to hurt or disappoint those she was fond of.

“About a lot of things, I’m sure,” she told him, smiling softly at the small indignant pout that formed on his lips. Shaking her head, she tilted it upwards as she weighed her options before deciding to confess one of her and Nadia’s biggest secrets. “She had this huge crush on you, you know? Like seriously, it got borderline disturbing at times.”

Pout disappearing, Jay’s boyish grin slid into its rightful place. “I wanna say I’m surprised, but…”

“Shut up,” Erin laughed, giving him a light shove to the shoulder so he teetered slightly in his unsteady position. Rolling her lips between her teeth, she allowed herself to think back to the happier days only a few months earlier when Nadia was still alive, and she and Jay were still together. “But she knew about us and she was happy. Didn’t stop her from asking about all the sordid details.”

Arching a brow, he gave her a questioning look as a boyish smile lopsidedly curved his lips. “What did you tell her?”

“What do you think I told her?” she shot back, mimicking his features.

“That I’m as amazing between the sheets as I am on the streets?” he replied casually, albeit with some dramatic hopefulness.

“Jay!” Erin chided, trying to look appalled but dissolving into laughter with him instead. They had fallen back into their friendship effortlessly, their partnership coming in a close second, and she wasn’t going to deny that her rehabilitation was twice as easy with him back in her life.

“She’d be proud of you right now,” Jay stated, breaking out of her thoughts as if he was reading them. Keeping her eyes upon the gravestone ahead of her, she took in a deep breath to steady herself. Hearing him tell her that Nadia would be proud of her after she had pretty much given up and gone down into the rabbit hole she had tried to save the teenager from brought up far too many emotions she was comfortable dealing with right then. “Turning your back on your mom, getting sober, coming back to work. It definitely wasn’t the easy way out.”

Exhaling slowly, Erin offered him a watery smile. “But it was the right one.”

Nodding, Jay pressed his fingers to the engraving once again and murmured something that sounded awfully a lot like ‘see you later’ before standing up. Looking down, he offered her a hand as he said, “C’mon. Let’s go get some munch.”

Her stomach growled unashamedly at the mention of food, having left the Voight house that morning on a single cup of coffee. Glancing back at Nadia’s grave, she carefully pushed the fresh flowers back so it was protected from the elements as much as possible and whispered her own farewell.

Grabbing onto the proffered hand, she allowed Jay to tug her to her feet. “Kuma’s?” she suggested, relaxing for the first time since rolling out of bed that morning under the heavy but familiar weight of his arm when he slung it comfortingly over her shoulders as they headed back towards their cars

“I think I could be convinced,” Jay somewhat agreed with an easy smile that told her without words that things were going to be okay.

…

On the third ring, Erin began to feel guilty. It wasn’t late but she had blown him off to hang out with Kim for a girls’ evening at her apartment, and clearly he had found something else to keep him entertained. Just as she was about to hang up and shoot Jay a text instead, there was a click and a voice far deeper and huskier than she was used to hearing. He was rarely a deep sleeper, meaning after the initial wake up, he was pretty much awake.

“Hey,” he greeted her, the single word slurring slightly.

Catching the time on her dashboard once again, Erin smirked and settled back into the driver’s seat of her car. “Hey! What were you doing?”

“Um…” Jay began, clearing his throat with a pause. She could hear the soft rustling of sheets in the background, a subtle groan to his words as she imagined him stretching out on his back as he always did when she woke him up. “Well, I definitely wasn’t sleeping at 9:45 in the evening.”

Laughing softly, she dug her keys into the ignition to turn on her engine. “Jay,” she said simply, tone laced with amusement and an obvious hint that she hadn’t believed him.

“What’s up?” he asked her instead, sounding more and more awake by the second.

Guilt flooding her once again, she shook her head to reprimand herself for disturbing his very rare early night. “Nothing, go back to sleep, old man. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“You sure?” he asked her sceptically.

“Yeah, sleep. I’m gonna head to bed too,” Erin told him, already looking forward to the idea of her bed even if it was without her boyfriend.

Jay’s hum of agreement warmed her ear, and she could practically feel his gentle breath against her skin like she did almost every night.  “Alright. Love you,” he told her softly, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Love you, too, babe. Night,” she replied, waiting until he returned the sentiment before hanging up and pulling away from outside Kim’s apartment with the full intention of heading home.

Only, Jay’s place was easier to get to. Or so she told herself when she accidentally-on-purpose, deliberately took a wrong turn which meant turning back towards her apartment would take twice as long as it would to get to Jay’s. Plus, they both had work tomorrow and it was always an added bonus if she got to spend time with him outside of work too. They might just get hit with a heavy caseload, keeping them busy for days on end from the moment they walked in. Or even worse, before they even got up to their alarms.

Having reasoned with herself why going home simply wasn’t the best option that night, Erin smiled contently as she parked her car next to Jay’s and made her way up as quickly as she could. He had given her a key long before they had become anything more than partners, but it was only now she used it for more personal reasons. Such as sneaking into his apartment when he was in bed to snuggle up with him.

“Er?” his voice broke through the darkness and the silence of his bedroom. Peering up from where she was pulling off her jeans, she caught his eyes with a sheepish smile when he pushed himself up onto his elbows to get a better look at her. “What are you doing here?”

Happy in just her underwear and a camisole, she slipped in under the covers he had pulled back for her. “I was in the neighbourhood and figured your bed was closer than mine,” she informed him matter-of-factly, pressing herself up into his side when he settled back down again.

“Uh huh,” he murmured half-heartedly, clearly not believing her but far past caring to question it. The fact he hadn’t even side eyed the pile of clothes she had left on the middle of his bedroom floor was testament enough. Laying her head upon his chest, she allowed her eyes drift close with the feel of his arm wrapped around her shoulders and his hand in her hair. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Pressing her lips to his warm skin under her cheek, she smiled and cuddled up as much as she could without ending up completely atop of him. Not that he would ever complain, and not that she hadn’t ever done so before. Sighing contently, Erin squeezed his waist gently with the arm slung across it. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”