#yes most of those are ghouls leave me alone

[sigmundthesorcerer]

convinced people who like the original fallouts are lying to look cool

[ghulehunknown]

Teach Me Tonight

Primo x F!Reader

Day 7 of KINKTOBER is {finally} here! 🎃

**WARNING - EXPLICIT/NSFW**

“Teach Me Tonight”

Summary: You’ve been shadowing as Primo’s intern in the gardens for weeks and share your affections with him. After opening up, you realize that he could teach you a thing or two about watering your own garden.

CW/Tags: teacher/student, age difference, F!Reader, reader is somewhat inexperienced, vaginal fingering, CMNF, semi-public nudity and sex, sex outdoors, praise, mutual masturbation, handjob, dry humping, oral sex (M receiving), P in V sex, unprotected sex

Word Count: 3600

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For several weeks you were shadowing Papa Primo in the gardens. Truth be told you only had a normal-sized interest in plants, but you marveled at the thought of alone time with your favorite Papa.

“So,” he had said after many days of near silence. “What is your interest in plants? Surely you could have picked a more exciting adventure for your future career here, fragolina?”

“Who better to learn things from? I’ve always admired the work you’ve done at the Ministry,” you had said shyly with a smile, the first full sentences you formed other than your name when you first met and “Yes, Papa” when given instructions.

“That is refreshing to hear. Most young folks are here for the youthful, more energetic Papas and they fall into a certain ‘party’ lifestyle when they arrive, and burn out quick.” Only this silly old geezer would be calling his brothers “youthful,” and it brought a smile to your lips.

“It might not be exciting work what we do here, cara, but I can assure you that your time with me will be fruitful and rewarding,” he continued.

You could have melted when he said that - did he know somehow, that you had fancied him since you were a girl? Did he know the candle you held close in your heart for him, always lit?

The weeks went by and you would chit-chat as you gardened. He would tell you tales of his time as a young Clergy member, how he used to party like his brothers. Then things changed as he grew older and weary, and he found solitude in the quiet greenhouses.

His touch with the plants never wavered - his hands were always steady when carefully snipping the vines on the pumpkins, trimming the hedges, or snipping off dead leaves. Your interactions were always harmonious and polite, with the occasional brush of the hands - his strong, yet delicate, hands.

But today was different. Sister Imperator would soon be rotating the Siblings’ work responsibilities based on productivity or “fit,” unless either their respective Papa or ghoul specifically asked for them to stay as an apprentice.

Today you walk into the gardens, head held high, a confidence you had never felt before now surging through you. He wouldn't make the first move, you think to yourself - as it should be. Imagine the complications then, if there was ever the slightest implication that your job was on the line all because Papa wanted your affection. No, it has to be you.

You work together in silence again for most of the day, focusing on mixing the right compost for the flowerbed soil.

“Papa, I want to discuss something,” you say.

“What is it, bambolina?” he asks, finishing up.

Those names! How he makes your heart flutter with just his simple words. Even though you hardly know what he is saying half the time, you know his words are sweet and genuine.

He gestures to the water spigot and watering can and instructs you to fill it up. You shake yourself to get out of your daydream and nod, walking over to the side of the greenhouse and filling up the can.

“Well, Sister…she’s giving all the new Siblings their performance reviews soon, and I was just wondering��if, well, if you were happy with mine.” You waddle back over to the table with the watering can, a little too heavy for you to carry.

He picks it up with ease. “Sì, I have given you all good marks. You are very studious and I have enjoyed your help here.”

“Oh - erm, grazie Papa. So will I be continuing to work with you in the gardens?”

“If that is your wish, then yes.”

“Oh good, good. That’s…good,” you say awkwardly, scratching your head.

“Mm, it is,” he remarks gently, not pushing the subject any farther. He begins watering the smaller plants on the tabletop.

“I’ve been enjoying my time here so much, Papa. And I need you to know, the real reason I came here was to get to know you better.”

He pauses, listening to you intently, then continues tending to the plants.

You swallow the lump forming in your throat then continue. “I have gotten to know you, for who you truly are, and I…I want to spend even more time with you, in a more intimate setting.”

“Hm - me, donzella?” he says, still watering the plants on the tabletop, though he does not sound surprised. “No, non è possibile. You do not want this old fool.”

“You aren’t a fool,” you say, stepping closer. “Though you may be a bit…advanced, in more ways than one.”

He eyes you from his peripheral, and you aren’t sure if he’s giving a warning glance or teasing you.

You gulp nervously. “I just meant, Papa…that you are very wise and…experienced.”

“Sì, cara, I have lived a full life. Some things I would rather not remember, and others were…” He pauses in thought, then says with a smile, “..hmm, fun.”

“And what about having another fun time…teaching me something else?”

He flashes you another look, this time setting the watering can down and raising an eyebrow while glancing your body up and down, perhaps unsure of your intentions. “Have you not explored the pleasures of your own body before, coccinella? Have you not lain with another?”

“I have, Papa…but I’ve only slept with one other before. I know how to make myself feel good, but…” You pause, trembling. “I was hoping you could show me what true pleasure feels like,” you blurt out the rest - knowing if you didn’t, you could never say it. You can’t believe what you just confessed to Primo.

He ponders for a moment before saying anything. He removes his gloves, revealing his long and slender fingers, slightly leathery and the top of his hands wrinkled - and your mind immediately goes to where he could put those fingers. He takes off his gardening hat as well, and you notice a few age spots on his bald head. None of that matters to you, though. In fact, he’s just your type. You can’t explain it, but the very fact he has lived a long and full life before your very existence turns you on. Like a forbidden romance, but also the thrill of experiencing what he’s done so many times before you.

It’s not about what he can do for you - it’s about being with him, to be chosen. To feel special in an otherwise unspecial world and push beyond whatever limitations you had put on yourself before, all in the pursuit of an orderly and plain life. If everything went just the way you had planned, nothing could hurt you. But what kind of life was that if there were no surprises?

He gathers a couple of blankets typically used for covering the delicate plants during frost or other harsh weather, and lays them down on the ground and over the pumpkin patch. He turns on the space heaters on the patio then takes you by the arm towards the pumpkins.

He lays you down in the patch - the leafy fronds and plump gourds surprisingly comfortable. A medium sized pumpkin fits the arch of your back perfectly. He lays down next to you, propped by pumpkins so he is laying on his side. He reaches over you, his hand grazing over your breasts to caress your shoulder. You swallow another lump in your throat as your nerves get the best of you. You haven’t experienced this sort of feeling before, but you think it’s…thrill.

“Are you comfortable, Sorella?” he asks, massaging your upper arm.

You nod quickly - too quickly.

“Are you sure? We do not have to do this,” he says soothingly, pausing as he begins to retract his hand.

“Wait, Papa -” you begin to say, then pull his hand back over your body, lightly touching your chest again before reaching your shoulder opposite him.

He strokes your arm again, this time pulling your sleeve past your shoulder, revealing your bra strap. He takes the strap in between his fingers and gently grazes the fabric. “Pesky thing,” he says, then looks into your eyes.

“It hooks in the back,” you say with a gulp.

He continues looking you in the eyes, then holds your face in his hand. You close your eyes and exhale. He won’t make the first move, will he? He has to know you want this, truly want this - and that you aren’t at all uncomfortable with the dynamic. At least, that’s the only thing you can surmise. Afterall, he is Papa and you are merely his intern.

You lean in, tilting your head - but falter before reaching his lips. Fuck, what is it? Nerves? The undeniable shame you know you’ll have to battle later - the kind of shame that only a former Catholic schoolgirl would know in the late hours of night?

But that one move is just what he needs; he needs your invitation. Still holding your face in his hands, he pulls you in close, and kisses your lips.

Suddenly, even if just for now, your ex-Catholic guilt subsides. And all you want is here before you. You kiss him back and your arms find their way around his shoulders. You place one hand on the back of his head and feel the smoothness of his scalp in your palm.

He kisses the side of your face and down the crook of your neck, trailing his hand there and then down your back. He unzips your gown halfway, then slips it down your shoulders. You pull your arms out of the sleeves, revealing your upper body. He cups one breast in his hand over your bra, massaging while continuing to kiss you.

You quietly moan under your breath, feeling your nipples harden at his touch. He slips his hand inside your bra, exposing your nipple to the crisp air, repeating the same motion to your other breast. He softly pinches your hardened flesh between his thumb and index finger, massaging you with the palm of his hand. He alternates on both sides, kissing your lips - working up the friction between your legs.

“Mmmn, Papa - ” you gasp, breaking away from his embrace. You look around frantically, suddenly remembering you were in the gardens, where the Cardinal and Imperator often liked to stroll. Occasionally you had even seen Terzo’s legs entangled with another Siblings’ through the bushes. “Won’t someone see?”

“No one will bother us here, bambolina,” he says assuredly. When you still seem skeptical, he explains further. “There is Mass tonight. They will all be in the Abbey.”

Relief washes over you. You could only handle one new experience at a time; perhaps exhibitionism and voyeurism would come later.

Still looking beyond the gardens towards the stained glass windows of the Ministry, he turns your head gently to face him. “We do not have to do anything you are not comfortable with - capisci, Sorella?”

You nod, and lean in to kiss him again. “It’s okay Papa. I’m ready.”

“Ecco una brava ragazza,” he says with a comforting smile, while reaching behind you and unhooking your bra, placing it beside you. Your nipples harden again at the sudden cold (though they were already halfway hard), goosebumps all over your body now.

He slowly lifts the skirt of your habit up past your hips, revealing your pink lacy panties. The chilly autumn air stings, but his hands give you warmth. “No one should ever touch you without your permission cara, is that understood?” You nod, your teeth chattering in your mouth. “Good,” he continues. “In that case…is this alright?”

You nod again. “Yes Papa,” you whisper.

He pulls your underwear down past your knees, tantalizingly slow, then finally past your ankles. He tosses them to the side, landing on the stem of a nearby gourd. “Che bel fiorellino,” he remarks upon seeing your trimmed cunt, running his hand over your body. The space heaters’ warmth finally reaches you and you stop shivering.

“It should be easy to find your g-spot,” he says, gently entering his middle digit into you, moving around for a few seconds until you coo. “Ah, there it is,” he says, grazing the soft, raised spot inside your walls. “And already so wet,” he remarks. “Sei la brava ragazza di Papa.”

Your back arches and you curl up next to Primo’s chest, hand clutching onto his chasuble. Your mouth opens in an “Oh!” as you exclaim while he brushes along your walls.

He massages inside you for a few moments while keeping his other hand over your abdomen. “You should be relaxed and molto, molto bagnata before going any farther.”

He continues to pump his finger in and out of you slowly, curling upwards and petting your sensitive spot when he re-enters. “You are still quite tense,” he says matter-of-factly.

You blush - you could tell now that you were involuntarily seizing up around him, your whole body clenching as if preparing for pain. You didn’t think he could, well, feel that.

He smiles warmly down at you, still curled up into his chest. “Non preoccuparti, cara mia.” He kisses along your neck, along the curve of your collarbone. He moves down to your chest, then sucks on your nipple - and you moan quietly again. He alternates breasts until his finger slides inside you more easily and your shoulders slack, your muscles no longer holding tension.

“Are you ready for another finger, la mia bambolina, mm? I think you are,” he says, sliding another finger inside you. You cry out, feeling the stretch, your body inviting him much more easily this time. “Such a good little thing, you are doing so well,” he coaxes.

He pumps in and out of you several times, then brings his fingers upwards to your clit - covered in your slick. He slides around your bud in small, slow circles. You sigh happily, your hand moving down his chest closer to his navel.

“What are you doing, fragolina?” he asks.

“I want to do something for you, Papa,” you whisper.

“I am not worried about my pleasure, pet.”

“I want to,” you say as you continue down his body. Your hand hits his erection and you begin to palm him through his robe.

“Mmm,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and breathing heavily through his nose. His gentle circles in between your legs falter for just a moment as you begin to stroke him, but he continues, your breathy sighs now matching in rhythm.

You turn to face him, dangling one leg over his so you are straddling his knee. You begin to grind on his leg, his bony knee providing you relief between your thighs. He removes his hand from your entrance, then holds your waist by both hands and guides you along, helping you build friction on your throbbing clit. You place both hands on his shoulders to steady yourself.

He grabs you and places you over his clothed erection, sliding his prodding member in between your folds. There’s a dark spot on his knee from your arousal. A few times he almost enters you, the soft silk catching inside you, rubbing a new sensation. Your back arches again and you reach around you to gather up the fabric of his robes. You lift it over his hips - and to your surprise, he is wearing nothing underneath.

The sight of his throbbing cock bobbing towards you sends a chill down your spine - right to your core. Christ, he really is as big as everyone rumors. He’s long and slender just as you imagined, with an upwards curve that you know will be able to hit you just right. He’s pale just like the rest of his skin - with a pink tip, a bead of precum resting in the slit of his hood.

You get on all fours before him, looking up at him from beneath his cock, a hunger in your eyes.

He looks at you while running his hand through your hair, then gently pulls you towards him. You take his cock in your hand, stroking slowly from base to tip, thumbing the head on the way up. “That’s it, Sorella. There’s a good girl,” he says.

“Ahh,” he sighs as you lick the precum off his tip, delicately dancing your tongue around. He puts his hand over yours, guiding your hand up and down his shaft as you lick around his first few inches, not knowing how in hell you’ll be able to fit all of him inside you.

Sensing your hesitancy, he pulls his hips backwards. “That can be enough for now, cara. We do not have to go any further. You have done very well this evening.” He pats the side of your face.

“I want to go further,” you insist, crawling up to him closer.

He pauses. “Coccinella, I do not have a condom with me. Unless we go to my bedchambers, we -”

“I’m on birth control,” you blurt out, inching closer to him. “I’m ready.”

“Condoms do more than prevent insemination,” he adds, forgetting you are not completely ignorant in the world of sex.

“Papa, I have not been with anyone else in a while,” you assure him. “Have you? - I mean, shit I’m sorry. That was way too forward.”

He rubs your arm soothingly. “I assure you, I have not been with anyone else as of late. And I do not think I will be…for some time,” he says, looking at you after his pause.

Oh. Does he mean…? That he never wants to be with you after this, or that he won’t be with anyone else aside from you?

He says your name, and looks you in the eyes while holding your chin in his fingertips. “Sei la ragione di ogni mio sorriso.”

What the fuck does that mean? He sounds so sweet saying it…

“You are the reason for my smiles, bambolina. You are the reason I keep getting up everyday. My life lacked purpose until you reminded me that I am needed here. I have felt cast aside for years now, withering into a shell of my former self. You,” he says while rubbing your chin. “You are my reason.”

“Oh Papa,” you say, crawling up into his lap and holding his face in your hands, kissing him. “You’re very important to me.”

“E anche tu sei importante per me…”

“I need to feel close to you…” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck and straddling him again.

He tucks your hair behind your ear. “Così bella,” he whispers breathlessly as you stroke his cock once more, rubbing yourself against his shaft. He lifts your hips over his, lowering you over his tip.

You stand yourself up on your knees to ready yourself for his length. You wince as he enters you slowly.

“Careful, cara mia,” he says gently, holding you up firmly as your knees begin to buckle under you. “That’s it, brava ragazza. Slowly now.”

You tremble as his first inches enter you, stretching you much more than his fingers did earlier. He grabs onto your rear, massaging your cheeks and gliding you up and down, not going past halfway down his shaft. Your legs start to shake uncontrollably and he lifts you off of him easily like a doll. He gently places you down on your back, propped up by the pumpkins.

He glides over top of you, entering you only as far as you went before. He is carefully holding himself up so as not to enter you fully.

“Papa, is that comfortable? Will you be able to get off if you’re not um, fully inside?” you inquire.

“Your comfort is much more important than my pleasure, cara.” He slides in and out very carefully, kissing you. “I assure you, I will enjoy myself. But at your pace.”

You feel your walls stretch to accommodate his size, his cock grazing against your g-spot perfectly the way he’s angled. Your chest rises and falls, each breath getting heavier and heavier. He dips his head down to suckle at your breasts while he pumps in and out of you, now moving quicker the more you moan. He reaches down to massage your clit as he thrusts, every sensation in your body now overwhelmed.

“Oh fuck,” you moan - a little too loudly this time, as your pleasured sounds echo off the patio tiles and into the courtyard beyond. Every few thrusts he adds another inch inside you, slowly filling you completely - until finally, you feel his hips meet yours, his balls hitting your nethers.

Without realizing, you squeeze around him, and he groans out loud.

“I’m sorry Papa, did I -?”

“No, no cara that feels so good, please continue. You can practice contracting your pelvic floor muscles - Gesù Cristo! Ahh, that’s it Sorella, don’t stop!” He pants, riding through his building orgasm.

He continues massaging your clit, your climax coming soon, with his. He’s timing your breathing patterns perfectly - you feel so close. Your mouth opens but you can barely make a noise as your vision starts to go hazy. He pumps into you a final time, grunting into your shoulder. You both moan, panting, coming down from your peak, and lie exhausted in one another’s arms for a few moments.

“Should we go inside?” you ask, breaking the silence and looking up at him from resting your head on his chest.

“Let’s stay out here a bit longer,” he says, looking up at the stars above you while stroking your hair.

Italian to English Translations

- fragolina (little strawberry)

- cara (dear)

- bambolina (little doll)

- grazie (thank you)

- donzella (damsel)

- non è possibile (it’s not possible)

- coccinella (ladybug)

- capisci (do you understand)

- Ecco una brava ragazza (There’s a good girl)

- Che bel fiorellino (What a pretty flower)

- Sei la brava ragazza di Papa (You are Papa’s good girl)

- molto, molto bagnata (very, very wet)

- Non preoccuparti, cara mia (Don’t worry, my dear)

- Sei la ragione di ogni mio sorriso (You’re the reason for all my smiles)

- E anche tu sei importante per me… (And you are important to me too)

- Così bella (So beautiful)

- Gesù Cristo (Jesus Christ)

[kidstemplatte]

I know this might be a heavy ask (feel free to ignore), but the way you write Terzo brings me so much comfort. I had a really scary experience tonight with a man, I won’t go into detail but he was weird with me on my train journey and then followed me for the most part of my walk home. If you’re ok with it, I would love for you to write how Terzo would comfort his s/o when they get inside their home a little shaken up.

Thank you for everything you write, it’s amazing 🤎

silence

pairing: terzo/reader

summary: reader enters house shaken after being followed on the way home by a man.

i have so much to say in response to this, so there's gonna be a message at the end of this for you, anon, and everyone.  i always kind of feel the need to include a message in my fics but this one is gonna be longer. sorry i know i’m typing like im accepting a nobel peace prize or something but this really means a lot to me <3

Do I pretend I’m on the phone? No, I’ll look distracted. Should I go on the other side of the street? That’s too obvious. What if I turned around and walked the other way? No, then we would cross paths, and then he might- Satanas- What do I do?

You strode down the sidewalk at full-speed, adrenaline pumping as you sought to complete your one objection: Make it home.

As you approached your block, you turned the corner rapidly. The sound of the man’s footsteps had quieted down, leaving you in an ominous silence. Was he still following you?

Taking a leap of faith, you counted to three and turned around.

One, Two, Three.

Gone.

You let out an audible sigh of relief.

The train ride home today, typically uneventful, had been a very unpleasant one to say the least. A perverse man sitting near you had taken it upon himself to say some drastically inappropriate things to you, things that made you squeamish and sick to your stomach. Even when you got off the train, gathering your things in a hurry, his harassment didn’t stop. You could hear his persistent pacing behind you for the majority of your walk home.

Things like this came with adulthood, they unfortunately happened to many people.But that didn’t make it any easier. Moments like these made you long for the innocence and naivety you possessed as a child. When strangers weren’t potential harassers, but potential friends. When a man’s smile signified kindness instead of danger. You were so innocent, so blissfully unaware of the cruelties of the world.

You safely made it back home, swiftly unlocking the front door, before entering, slamming it shut, and locking it again.

“Hello-“ Terzo’s lively greeting came to a quick halt when he caught sight of your panicked state.

“What is wrong? What happened?” he questioned, his voice softer than usual.

“I just- on the train ride home this guy was saying things to me, and he was behind me most of the walk home and I was scared he was following me.” You explained.

Terzo, immediately going to protective mode, dashed to the windows and looked outside. “Do you need me to call the police? Should I summon some of the Ghouls, perhaps? They could-”

“It’s okay, Terzo. Thank you. He’s gone.” you assured him wearily.

“Are you positive?”

“Yes.”

Terzo took a deep breath in and out, turning around to face you once again.

“Okay.” he responded. “Come here, lovely.” he cooed, holding his arms out. You eagerly accepted his invitation, melting into his warm embrace as he moved his hands lovingly up and down your back. “Nothing will hurt you when you’re with me. Nothing.” he whispered, gently kissing the side of your head as it was buried in the crook of his neck.

“I just- I feel gross.” You sniffled.

Terzo gently pulled away, placing his hands on your shoulders and looking you in the eyes.

“You? Gross? No, no no, cara mia. What is gross is that imbecile shithead who was saying those things to you. Is there anything you want me to do? To make you feel safe?”

“I just don’t want to be alone.”

“Lucky for you, neither do I.” Terzo smiled, “I never do now that i know you.”

You smiled at his affection, placing your hands on each side of his face before giving him a kiss.

“Want to order dinner? I burnt the spaghetti earlier.” Terzo confessed.

“Terzo- How did you burn spaghetti?”

“I am a culinary talent.”

He actually was, that’s what made it so funny. You and Terzo settled on ordering pizza. Not fancy pizza. The greasy fast food kind that Terzo secretly loved. Despite his efforts to be perceived as a “foodie”, the man secretly loved eating like a teenage boy. It’s a little fun fact about him you thought was very adorable. You two weren’t strangers to 1 am McDonald’s runs or late-night Doordash shenanigans.

“Movie? What do you want to watch?”

“Nothing scary, please.” You laughed.

“Nothing scary it is, then.” He replied.

As you two started a movie, a comforting favorite of yours, and settled on the couch, you took a seat, but were interrupted by Terzo wrapping his arms around your waist and rearranging your position.

“Hey!” You laughed. “What are you-“

Before you could protest, Terzo had snuck behind your spot on the couch, wrapping his arms around you.

He ran his hands up and down your body, in a way you knew wasn’t suggestive, but purely out of affection. He played with your hair, gently scratching your scalp in circular motions the way he knew you liked.

Terzo had a wickedly adorable trick he loved to play on you. Sometimes, when you were laughing at something, Terzo would devilishly tickle you to amplify your laughter even more, eager to hear more of his favorite sound in the world. You knew of this little game, so you often stifled your laughter during funny scenes to avoid his tickling. However, Terzo knew you long enough to recognize even a slight laugh from you when he felt your body jolt even in the slightest.

“I felt that…” he would say ominously before you would beg for mercy, even though you both knew you loved it.

“I didn’t laugh! I swear! I promise!”

Your pleas meant nothing. Before you knew it, you were nearly screaming as Terzo viciously tickled you in all the places he knew were your weak spots.

“No! Stop! Stop! Satan, please, help me!” you squealed through a fit of laughter.

Your struggle resulted in you and Terzo both falling onto the ground.

But he did not stop.

“Why are you doing this to me?” You cried, smiling so hard your face hurt.

“You must pay the price.”

“The-haha- the price for what?”

“For being adorable.”

Eventually you made it back to the couch, stomachs hurting from laughing so hard. And when you cried at a touching scene, he peppered kisses on your face and neck, holding you even tighter than before. You two had laid together for so long, so comfortable in silence with each other, that eventually some other movie had begun playing automatically.

“I love you, cara mia.” He whispered, his breath in your ear sending a warm shiver down your spine and making your eyes grow heavier.

There was no person, no place, nothing in the world who made you feel as safe as you did with Terzo. Safe enough to let go, fall asleep in their arms, without fear of what may happen when you weren’t fully present.

“I love you too.” you whispered, falling into a peaceful slumber in the arms of your lover.

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

a little message:

first off- i'm so so so sorry that happened to you. that stuff is so terrifying.. we live in a very scary world full of scary things and scary people and i’m so sorry you had to experience that. you deserve to feel safe.

second off- i can’t ignore this ask. i know this sounds silly, i’m on tumblr writing fanfiction about a satanic band for christ’s sake, i’m not trying to act like some saint,  but this is really why i do this. fanfiction has brought me so much comfort throughout my life and given me a safe space. i want to be that for someone else. i wanted so badly to bring this fic to you last night when i first read your request,but i was sleep-deprived and couldn’t finish it, and i didn’t want to rush it. ❤️

finally- thank you for your support and for your kind words. i cannot even describe how happy i am to bring anyone comfort. thank you for trusting me with your experience and for your kindness. i am so honored that you requested this from me. seriously. it made me tear up a little bit.

thank you for reading this.

if you have send me a request, it is coming.

i love you all, stay safe out there❤️

<3, alice

[duskspring]

A Picnic and Magic - Ghouls&Human Children

Domestic December- Day 19

Summary: The Clergy hosts a picnic to teach its children about the ghouls

Content (do let me know if I forgot anything!): No dialogue, they/them AND chronically ill Zephyr

Word count: ~1.2k

The Ministry saw a lot of new faces each year. Yes, most new recruits came with the success of the Ghost Project, but there was also a portion of children being born into it by Siblings of Sin. And although some new parents chose to leave the abbey after birth, others wanted their kids to grow up there.

The grounds housed a second, smaller building for families, one where children wouldn’t be exposed to some of the more egregious sinning by accident and where they could attend various classes.

Raising those kids at the ministry did come with a few challenges, mainly their understanding of the ghouls. At first, most kids either didn’t understand or flat out feared them. Thus, the upper clergy had to come up with a solution.

The plan was simple, on one particular warm summer day there would be a picnic for all to attend, where the ghouls would get a chance to interact with the children and try to win them over with the use of their powers.

Although not everyone got to attend. More stoic, quick tempered or sensitive ghouls had been kindly asked to not show up. At least not on that day, but maybe next time. The kids had to be eased into it, you see. Most of them didn’t complain, not minding the lack of responsibility towards the most frail individuals.

Another hurdle came with their masks. A real discussion was raised of if the children would be more afraid of the masks or their glamoured forms. Eventually it was decided into a split, where if there was more than one ghoul representing an element, one of them would be wearing their mask.

Different parts of the grass field were dedicated to said elements. Children were encouraged to visit them all by means of offering a variety of foods and games at each section, as well as a showcase of the ghouls’ powers of course. For every ghoul there was a sign with some basic facts about them, to humanize them further in the eyes of the kids.

At the water section it was just Rain. Although six more (partially) water ghouls walked the ministry halls, all had been deemed either too scary or too… Dewdrop. Still, he was excited to show off a bit, and most of his fellow ghouls came to stand with him from time to time. Especially Ifrit who also stood alone.

He was mostly in charge of keeping everyone cool by, when given permission, summoning splashes of water to spray people with. He did so mostly by conjuring it from his index fingers while he held his hands in gun gestures.

As stated, Ifrit was the second lonesome ghoul. Once again, the other fire ghouls were either too scary or too… Dewdrop.

He was acting like a firebreather, but mostly summoned shapes and letters of fire in the air, spelling out kids’ names, much to their amazement. Although he was the most directly dangerous, he made sure everyone stayed at a safe distance.

Omega and Aether worked together to represent the quintessence element. Phantom had been considered as well, since he mostly came across as harmless, but his packmates knew he would probably get overwhelmed very fast.

Quintessence was a hard element to show off physically, so they mostly helped hurt kids feel better or read their emotions, in an attempt to impress.

Omega was already more well known, helping out families from time to time and having been there for the delivery of most of the children. Many asked to hug him as a familiar, which he never minded. He’d accidentally turned into the posterghoul for all of them; someone friendly and approachable, who would help you out in times of need.

Mountain and Pebble showed off plants and flowers they’d helped grow and even summoned some brand new ones on the spot to hand out. Most children, however, only focused on giggling about their height difference. The smaller of the two was not at all amused at first, but got less annoyed at it throughout the day, while the other kept awkwardly trying to laugh it off.

And finally there was air. Zephyr, Cirrus and Cumulus had been easy picks, since they were already known among adults as nice and calm individuals. As part of the older generation of ghouls, the only missing air ghoul had always been less concerned with being family friendly, although Secondo did drill into his mind that he should try his best not to scare anyone. Still, it was best for him to sit this day out.

The present three worked together very carefully to raise some of the children a little bit off the ground. Their small feet dangled maybe a few inches high at most, but every last one was ecstatic. Most of them ran to their friends afterwards, telling anyone who would listen that they had just flyed.

There was no representation for multi ghouls that day. Copia had tried to explain to Swiss as kindly as possible that his smile would probably scare the kids more than comfort them. And Aurora still hadn’t properly adjusted to interacting with adults, let alone children.

As the day progressed, even some of the more cautious kids had at least admired the ghouls from afar. All parents were very supportive of them, encouraging them to approach the ghouls and telling them they were all friendly.

Every last ghoul had been popular with someone throughout the day. Some kids had jokingly retaliated against Rain by getting their own water guns and it turned into a whole game of him versus the children, where they would oh and ah when he managed to stop a spray midair.

Some other kids had discovered Ifrit’s functionality as a jungle gym, and were climbing up to his shoulders and hanging from his outstretched arms. All the while he stayed very still, treating it as a work out to try and keep them all up.

Omega had already been liked, but when it got time for the kids to go home that sentiment had spread to Aether as well. He’d probably be able to help out in the family infirmary from that point on as well, something he felt immense pride for.

Pebble ended up getting his hair braided by two little girls, summoning flowers Mountain suggested for them to weave through it.

Zephyr had gotten quite a few questions about their wheelchair in the blunt, frankly rude way that children asked questions about those sorts of things. They’d answered them in as simple terms as possible, kindly correcting anyone who had accidentally said something distasteful.

Cirrus and Cumulus had started singing a few songs throughout the day, getting a small choir of children together and helping them sound their best. A few of them asked to receive vocal lessons more often, and although Cirrus was a bit nervous about interacting with such young kids so much, Cumulus was nothing but excited to make it a reality.

Eventually the time came for everyone to go have dinner. The ghouls all got a lot of goodbye hugs, and although the day was a fun success, they were all glad to finally get a break again.

Needless to say, the picnic worked wonders, with the Clergy already trying to plan the next one.

[My Main Masterlist | Domestic December Masterlist]

[you-know-honey]

How does it feel to be in a relationship with the Nameless Ghouls (Based on songs)

I've been listening to music while I prepare a lot of fanfics and have ideas for others and…have you ever thought about what it would feel like to love Nameless Ghouls (in a realistic way)?

Well I think I have the answer...

𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔰

Mountain

Say Yes To Heaven - Lana del Rey

He is quite a fan of dancing waltzes and is sure that soft, deep music makes plants and their relationship grow better in those small, intimate dance sessions.

If you dance, I'll dance And if you don't, I'll dance anyway

Mountain is like calm. Not calm before the storm, just calm.

Give peace a chance Let the fear you have fall away

He is a calm and silent child, he has the look of a sweet deer that surrounds your heart with sweetness and keeps it warm and loved.

I've got my eye on you

Even if you doubt his love at first since you wouldn't expect the most serious ghoul to be interested in you, he will reinforce the idea of ​​accepting the happiness and peace that is offered. As if it were about touching the sky.

Say yes yo heaven

He only wants one thing in return: commitment. You have his heart and spirit in your hands, he only asks that you take care of him.

Say yes to me

He could never tie you down, he wouldn't be able to keep you from your dreams. If you leave he will stay at the door waiting for your return. He could change his life but never his love.

If you go. I'll stay You come back, I'll be right here

He will be your lighthouse in the darkness, even if the earth moves and the tide covers everything, even when you think it's all over. He will be there holding you close to his chest.

Like a barge at sea In the storm, I stay clear

Even if everyone told him that going out with you is a bad idea, he would never stop, he has accepted his love for you and has the courage to face life with you with or without the approval of others.

I've got my mind on you

Phantom

Golden Hour - JVKE

Phantom can promise you a young love, you are his first love, the first person for whom his heart went crazy.

It was just two lovers Sittin' in the car, lintening to Blonde, fallin' for each other

It will be like living in a cheesy movie, dates full of hope and overwhelming emotion.

Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish, no Donald Glover

He doesn't mind taking risks, he could invent some excuse, no matter how bad it may be, the scolding goes on deaf ears, if it were for you he would do it again.

Missed call from my mother Like: Where you at tonight? Got no alibi

Every second with him is intense, part of a song. He admires you like a deity, the most beautiful and charming person in his eyes.

I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin, my radiant beam in the night I don't need no light to see you

An hour with you is like a dream for him and a dream is an eternity. A golden dream.

Shine It's you golden hour You slow down time

He's not afraid to do stupid things for love, he'll steal the car and disappear all weekend with you.

Feet up on the dash, drivin' nowhere fast Burnin' through the summer

I would dedicate every romantic song that comes on the radio to you, I would write the lyrics in a notebook for you.

Radio on blast, make the moment last She got solar power, minutes feel like hours

Love hit him hard, he has fallen for your charms and will refuse to free himself from them.

Can you even imagine fallin' like I did?

He would give himself completely to your wishes, there are no "No" for you.

For the love of my life She's got glowon her face, a glorious look in her eyes

He would give himself completely to your desires, there is no such thing as a "No" for you. You have an eternity to spend with your first and only love.

My angel of light

Rain

Aengus' Fool - Sleep Walking Animals

Romance hadn't been an option for Rain until you showed up.

Love looks good on you

Explore sensations you don't know you have, he swim upstream to you. He will fight against the current instead of going with the flow like he used to do just for you.

Light as a feather but tough as a stone

It makes him blush to see how you love everything that others consider boring about him, he doesn't understand how he lived without you all this time.

When you're barely together But never alone

He will know how to be there for you when things get bad and will protect your heart from the waves that threaten to break it.

When a hand on the leg is the best you can do

Everyone can see that something has changed in him, there is something refreshing in his heart, a tide of emotion. There is a gift in front of your door always at dawn, you should never forget how much he loves you.

I read you a passage From yesterday's paper

Feelings do not come and go, they stay with him every day and always grow a little more, he has never tried so hard to make someone happy.

With a smile that escapes you

¿Do you know that you bring out the best in me too?

He will leave his love story marked in history, to meet you again in the next life and walk back into your heart.

I've been waiting since the last time i was here For you to come home Took a while but know your here

He feels wild and willing to break the rules, he would pay the price for you. I would raise the waters of the sea if it is part of your wishes.

And somehow Nothing matters Matters now

Live in a dream that he never imagined, delivered to you. Keep discovering something else to love you.

I'll stand by yhe bedside And watch how she sleeps

He never thought that love looked so good on him, he feels that romance was a gift you gave him.

Sifting through poems For phrases to keep

Watching you breathe makes him happy like the sound of the sea, there is always an adventure wherever you go and he is willing to let himself go.

She'll open her eyes- there's a day to pursue

He feels so proud of receiving love that if you are mentioned at the slightest in a conversation, he will divert everything to talk about you unconsciously.

II'll shout from the mountains LIke Aengus' Fool

Swiss

I See You - Jutty Ranx

This man doesn't play games, he likes you even before you like him. He could spend months flirting with you to bring out the crush in you. The way you refused to let yourself be loved only made it more fun.

You were never young, my love I can tell, not by the way that you smell

When you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and crashed his lips into yours, his heart exploded. He didn't expect the intensity of emotions you released in him, as if he were a first-time lover.

But by the way you move your tongue, my love Somebody shake me, what can I do?

He touches your body as if it were going to break, it's like being drugged with you, he sees the stars in your eyes.

Am I in love with the night? Am I in love with you?

He knows that with you everything is different. Real. It's not just one night, it's one of many nights alone with you, you will see a hopeless romantic more than a sexy flirt. He has a lot to give, centuries of love to give.

Will you take what I've got? Will we die on the spot?

He is addicted to emotion, to the eternal flutter of butterflies in his stomach, he doesn't want to call it love until you do.

You make me, make moves

He moves like a puppy after you, he likes everything about you. He wants to know everything about you, even what you don't like about yourself. He will let you know that no matter what happens, you won't get rid of him. He will walk over your thorns with a smile, nothing could stop him.

I see you, you know I see you I break through to get to you Its so true

Sometimes he feels like a fool for having wasted his time on other people before meeting you.

How could I How could I pretend I didn't notice? An incision when you looked back

The world stopped existing when your refusals to go out with him turned into a "Yes." Maybe he doesn't have much but it's all for you.

I want you to myself Can we take this somewhere else?

There is nothing hidden from you, see what you want to see, touch what you want to touch. He will make you feel how you deserve to feel.

My heart's an open book and you just took it off the shelf

(The song looked very good, don't you think? *wink, wink*)

Sodo

Teeth - Five Seconds Of Summer

He got angry with himself when he found himself smiling when talking to you. As if he couldn't feel that happiness with anyone else, day and night you're going to be in his head and he doesn't want that.

Some days, you're the only thing I know Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold

He is a distrustful boy, he will shout for you to leave only to beg you to stay. He doesn't understand his feelings and fears that they will end up devouring and destroying you.

Can't look away, can't look away

He tries to maintain balance so as not to scare you, he doesn't want to see himself in need of love but he also doesn't want you to think that he no longer feels anything for you.

Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed

He has a complicated heart and fears that you are smart enough to let him drop and look for something better.

Don't know if you love me or you want me dead.

He wants to deceive himself. Pretending that all your love for him is just a cruel joke but he knows when he hears your voice that it's just him being an idiot insecure.

Something in the way you're looking through my eyes Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

He is eager to devour you, to show you how strong, suffocating, eternal and perhaps painful his love is. Like a fire demon he fears that his intensity might scare you, deep down he just wants to burn in a pile love and desire with you.

Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth Late night devil, put your hands on me And never, never, never ever let go

He doesn't consider himself a romantic in public, one lucky day he might leave a kiss on your lips while walking around. He is not predisposed to be sweet, "I love you" sounds complicated to say. But you can bet that at night he fantasizes about it.

Some days, you're the best thing in my life Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife

He knows what he is capable of, he takes your heart so high that letting it fall would make it turn to dust. He satisfies your happiness, as he savors the sweetness you pour on him.

Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth

Sometimes he thinks that you have fallen in love with a version of him that only exists in your mind and wants to become that fantasy inside you. He wants to become the best version of the demon he is.

Blood on my shirt, a rose in my hand You're looking at me like you don't know who I am

Deep down and perhaps in the solitude of his room you can see how desperate he is for you, how he simply became addicted to who you are and how he wants to destroy your heart so he can take you with him forever.

Never, never, never ever let go

𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔰

Cumulus

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

She saw you from the first day and knew that sooner or later she would fall for you, she's not stupid, she just knew it. She was clear that she loved you.

I want the world in my hands

She makes the world seem only for both of you and her, even when the situation is not pleasant she would do anything to make you smile.

I hate the beach, but I stand In California, with my toes in the sand

His heart breaks when you cry, he just can't stand it, he will tuck you in and stay with you, sometimes you don't need a solution, just a long cuddle session and some tears.

Use the sleeves of my sweater

Even if you are afraid about the veracity of her feelings, she will make sure to take your hand and go through that haze of insecurity with you and let you know that you are and will be the only one in her life.

Let's have an adventure Head in the clouds, but my gravity's centered

Even though she is always in control of her life, when the water becomes turbulent and icy, she knows that she can find a warm home in your arms, just you and her. Holding your heart next to his.

'Cause it's too cold For you here and now So let me hold

He will always make small gestures for you, maybe that cool breeze on that hot summer afternoon was a gift from him, the cup of hot tea after a long day of work. Sometimes you don't need words, just hide your face in the crook of his neck, breathe in his scent and know that you are safe. A touch says a thousand words and she has proven it to you.

One love, two mouths One love, one house Just us, you find out

He has a habit of nuzzling your neck, he likes to see you shiver from his touch, sharing only a long game of glances. A strong and intense connection. She is not a girl of many words, she loves you and will show you in every possible way.

And if I may just take your breath away I don't mind if there's not much to say

When you are together, regardless of whether there are other people around you, all that goes into the background, she will hold your hand with pride and teach the world to see you the way she sees you, like the most beautiful star in the sky.

The goosebumps start to raise The minute that my left hand meets your waist And then I watch your face

She feels nostalgic for the first beautiful moments shared, don't misunderstand her, she loves the present with you but she likes to travel from time to time at the beginning and admire how far you have come together.

Sometimes the silence guides our minds To move to a place so far away

Aurora

Dandelions - Ruth B.

She was extremely excited when he identified that what he felt for you was love, she walked from one place to another with a smile on his face. She had always read about how magical love was and experiencing it with you seemed like a dream to her.

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

She longs with all her soul to spend the rest of her life with you, to have a little house in the country and to live in a fairy tale forever. You are her special person, her world, her hope, hers everything. More than once you will catch her daydreaming about that beautiful future.

But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you

You're always nervous around her, she has too much energy and everyone basically adores her, like you're afraid that one day her feelings for you will just disappear. Every morning she will ask you if you want to be her partner, a cute and tender way to make you understand that every day she gets out of bed and her heart decides to continue loving you.

Maybe it's the way you say my name Maybe it's the way you play your game

Will she make true works of art for you, paint stars on your ceiling, embroider small details on your clothes, ¿did you see something in a store that interested you? It will appear in your room the next day. She is not a superstitious girl but she knows how fragile and ephemeral the nature of dreams and the desires of the heart is, she wants to give you everything it desires so that when she looks into your eyes she sees the living spark of dreams come true.

When you're looking at me I've never felt so happy

His feelings are a clear example of purity and innocence, he is dying of excitement to recreate each of the cheesiest scenes from romance movies with you. He cannot understand jealousy, he runs away from it and will need your kisses and your loving gaze to calm down.

I think that you are the one for me 'Cause it gets so hard to breathe When you're looking at me

She looks at you and knows that you are HIS person, unique and incomparable, perhaps destiny she is grateful that you came into his life and he does not plan to lose you, like a shooting star that does not pass twice.

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

When distance separates them due to the band's tours, she longs more than ever to be with you, there wouldn't be a night without making video calls almost until dawn. She knows that when she is with you she is free, free from the Ministry, free from his duty to the band, she is simply complete when she is with you.

I've never felt so alive and free

His dreams have come true, she has the deep and true love she always wanted, she will wake up every morning to look into your eyes and smile and know that his deepest desire is real, tangible and completely his.

And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

Cirrus

I Was Made For Lovin' You - KISS

You have liked her for a long time, you tried to declare yourself several times but you were very shy so she had to take the initiative, it was a direct declaration full of love and desire.

Tonight I wanna give it all to you

Free time is something that Cirrus doesn't have as often as she wants, so when the night comes and she's finally free, she'll sneak into your room to completely surrender to your arms in the privacy of the night.

We're going to make it all come true

Both of you are predestined to love each other, in some other life she knows that he must have done something very well to deserve you in this life one again.

I wanna lay it at your feet 'Cause, girl, I was made for you

Everything suggested itself organically little by little to end up forming a healthy and symbiotic relationship. They are not together all day, she understands that you may need your space but she will always keep his eyes on you, even if you don't know it. It's his little secret.

And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me?

It not only talks about physical love, but also about a deep emotional connection, it knows what you feel even before you know it, it will give you your space if you are upset, it will hug you when you cry and kiss every part of your body to let you know that in his eyes you are the real figure of a goddess and he will not hesitate to fulfill all your wishes.

I wanna see it in your eyes Feel the magic

She has secretly created songs just for you, like a hymn to the passionate love that runs through her veins since she has been with you, a girl who gives her all to make you touch the stars.

There's something that drives me wild

The connection is inescapable between the two, destined to be together or an excellent coincidence of life that finally came to pass.

I was made for loving you, baby You were made for loving me

[vitchimage]

—YESTERDAY;

Summary; Heated argument makes Swiss blurt out words he regrets. But maybe those words were something good for you both after all..

Pairing: Swiss x GN!Reader

Type; One-shot/fic

Theme: Angst, generally no happy ending but it’s open ending ig, hurt/no comfort really (maybe just a glimpse.)

Warnings: Argument, mention of very slight toxicity within the relationship, Angst

A/N: Yesterday a song by AFTRHOURS, Had ‘Right person, wrong time’ trope in my mind so here we go. Also sorry if it’s a bit bad, I’ll try to do better next time. :)

Looking in the same eyes, that I should’ve gotten lost in.

“Swiss, this is what you wanted remember?” You breathed exhausted, as his eyes pierced yours,“Please just…let go,”

Hearing you say goodbye, hurts knowing that I caused it.

Swiss forms trembles, he did remember. He remembered the heated argument that led to this point — his biggest regret.

Yesterday, I thought I needed a break.

—

You both didn’t know when the argument got so heated. It was a light topic really, asking Swiss to be more around you or at least give some of his time to you, clearly missing his presence.

But the man quickly shut it down and got more agitated when you egged on.

“But you have time for others and not me?”

“Is it so bad I just want spend a little more time with my boyfriend?”

“You ditch me in the last second every time we hang out, Swiss!”

“You say that, but you literally dropped everything just to be with another Sister of Sin.”

He was clearly on the defence and refused to look on your side of the view.

Stuff was thrown around, screams and shouts from both parties that was sure to wake the whole dens up.

It took a while till silence prevailed for a moment.

“Maybe we need a break,”He lets out into the empty cold room where you both stand into the night sky.

“What?” Your anger was quickly shoved aside, shocked by those words.

You couldn’t see his expression with his back turned to you.

“It’s clear that we need a break from each other.” He repeats, “or at least I do. I can’t deal with this right now, Y/N.”

Those words hurt a lot more than you thought. It was like a knife to the back and to the heart.

“How could you say that..after everything..”

He doesn’t reply. He was never a man who knew how to deal with raw emotions.

“At least fucking face me when saying it!” You reached out but he pulled away, tears from your eyes threatening to fall, “So you hate me Swiss?! Have you grown tired of me, is that it? Please tell me! Tell me what I did wrong!”

“Don’t.” He lets out, his voice ice cold, “Just don’t,”

“No tell me! Cause I have done everything I can to make this work, but somehow it’s still not enough, so tell me!”

Your voices you desperation for him to stay, to find a way to fix it together.

“There is nothing you can do.” A cruel truth from his part.

“Swiss..don’t say that..”

“ I’ll take my leave.”

“Swiss!” You tried to call out run after him, but to no avail.

“Swiss! If you walk out of the door, there will be no turning back.” Your breathing was shaky, and for a moment he did stop by the doorway.

But he blocks the shouts of your cry as he slammed it shut, leaving you all alone.

—

It was just a break, and he was the one to initiated it. Yet why did his blood boil when seeing you hang out with another ghoul?

But then, I saw you out with him.

What hurts him the most was your laughter and the bright smile you gave the ghoul.

When what the last time he had seen it? Hell, even seen you at all?

A regret twists from his stomach to his chest.

He had wondered if he didn’t blurt out those regretful words, would you look at him like that? Like the way you do with him?

Yesterday I made a huge mistake, and now I need you back again.

Reflected since yesterday, he wanted to reach out and apologise for those cruel words.

But your words echo yes back in his mind,

“If you walk out of the door, there will be no turning back.”

He thought he needed this, a small break for a price of freedom but why did freedom taste so bitter. Why did this freedom make him long for you?

The moment he finally saw you by yourself, he took the chance to talk it out.

However, you confirmed the voice of the back of his mind.

There was no turning back.

“You said you needed a break, Swiss. So why..” You looked down, hurt.

He lifts his hand to stroke away the tears threatening to fall, but you pulled away like his touch burned you.

“Y/N..” words he wanted to say but nothing came out after saying your name.

You hugged your frame, and the way you pulled away and showed discomfort towards him hurts him even more than he thought it would.

Yesterday..

“I thought I needed a break, but then I saw you out with him.”

This makes your eyes shots up at him, widening.

Yesterday..

He closed his eyes shut, although not wanting show guilt through them, his expression betrays him.

“I made a huge mistake, and now I need you back again.”

“Swiss..” You let out a small laugh, but it’s not the laugh he wants to hear.

It was disbelief, a small mock, ice cold just like the tone of his last night.

“Yesterday you should’ve said something..”

Cause I never saw it coming,

You took a step back, looking away with a bitter smile.

He wants to say something anything, but you beat him to it.

“Maybe you’re right, maybe we do need a break. It’s clear we’re hurting each other and just not…”

You didn’t want to say the words, rubbing the salt of both of your wounds.

“Don’t say that, don’t!-“ Swiss grits his teeth, shaking even more, “It’s my fault I..”

He doesn’t know what to say. Anything to have you back in his arms.

Yesterday,

“I should’ve changed my ways..”

He should’ve listened, trying to understand when you came to him. He should’ve been there for you when you needed him, he shouldn’t have walked out the door.

He should’ve…he should’ve..

There was many things he could’ve done differently. Yet here he was, feeling you slip from his finger.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered, ready to get on his knees if that was what it took, “I should’ve seen how much you did for this relationship, I shouldn’t have taken it for granted..I should’ve listen to your cries, I..”

“Y/N?” Someone else calls out to you, the same ghoul you’ve were with earlier.

Inner him, begs you to not go,

to stay.

His eyes looking at yours desperately as you shift away.

‘Please don’t leave with him..leave with me, stay with me..’

Was this how you felt when he had left you alone? Ditched you in every last second the moment someone or something else came up?

It hurts, it aches.

It hurts knowing you were slipping away, that you weren’t with him anymore.

It hurts not knowing if you still love him the same way he loves you — and always has been.

It hurts when realising it might be too late to realise that.

A shaky sighs leaves you as you finally looked up to him, finally with your thoughts together.

You were ready to sacrifice everything to make everything work, but right now…it didn’t feel the same. And though you loved him, it was regretful to say his mistake might have helped you realised sooner or later that this was what you needed.

A break — a break from each other. Cause right now you both were poisonous to one another.

“Maybe there will be a day where we can get back together, but not today or tomorrow.” You reached to touch his mask, so feathery light he leaned into it; starving for it.

You pulled away with a mournful smile.

And with that you left with the other ghoul who questioned what happened, but your shrugged it off.

And never let you leave with him.

You left him all alone in the empty cold hall as he watched your back retreating with someone else.

M.list

[gravehags]

someone more talented than me needs to write this, so i'm begging: copia/aurora first kiss. (i may have put this in your inbox before, i can't remember.)

more talented than you?? you are way too kind to me omg…i’ll give it a shot though 🩵

~~~

He’s hesitant to perform the summoning at all, to replace his beloved Sunshine but when he finishes the ritual and sees her he is immediately smitten. She’s hunched over, long hair hanging in her face and looks up at him with a snarl. Cumulus and Cirrus grab her as she lunges at him, hissing and spitting and flailing her limbs in a desperate attempt to claw at the man who brought her here. They whisk her away to the ghoul den before he can even say another word but the look on his face must be a sight as Swiss claps him on the bicep and gives him an exaggerated wink.

Despite her feral arrival, she acclimates astonishingly well to life outside of the pit. She’s cautious around him at first - all darting eyes and tense shoulders - but when he tells her one of his signature stupid little jokes one day her face splits into the widest, sharpest smile he’s ever seen. The sight makes his heart clench as he’s filled with adoration for the tiny ghoulette. They begin to spend more time around one another in rehearsals and he loves the way her voice sounds alongside his. He wonders if she feels the same when he catches her blushing after they finish the final verse of Per Aspera Ad Inferi. Cumulus sees the writing on the wall and gives him two kisses on the cheek before airily announcing her departure, leaving him alone with his as yet unnamed ghoulette. When the door to the rehearsal room snaps shut behind her, his eyes fly to hers and widen.

“You, eh…sounded beautiful today, my ghoulette,” Copia begins, wiping his sweaty palms on his thighs, “thank you.”

She smiles just wide enough for him to see her fangs peeking out.

“Am I your ghoulette, Papa?” she asks, all sweetness and softness. He wants to fall to his knees for her, tell her than in actuality he is hers, just as he has professed to all of his other ghouls.

“Of course you are, cara,” he nods and she takes a step towards him, making his breath stutter in his throat.

“Papa?”

“Y-yes?”

“I think I’ve decided on my name. Dewdrop told me about something called an aurora borealis that looks like bright lights in the night sky. So I choose that - Aurora, that is.”

“Oh,” Copia sighs with a smile, “perfetto. As beautiful and rare as yourself.”

She takes another step towards him, rocking forward onto her toes.

“Papa?”

“Yes, my g—Aurora?”

Her new name is softer on his lips than he intended and the ever-sharp ghoulette’s ears prick up at this.

“The other ghouls…they’ve made advances towards me. Told me of their desires. And I reciprocate them, however…”

His throat is dry as he nods for her to continue.

“I want you most of all.”

She’s practically toe to toe with him now, looking up at him with wide eyes. He exhales heavy and when she reaches up with a small hand and runs her bright blue painted claws down the side of his face, he folds. He was never a strong man, anyway.

“Do you want me?” she asks, cocking her head to the side, her breath sliding over his lips.

“Sì…Sathanas yes.”

It’s all she needs before she pushes up onto her tiptoes and wraps her arms around his neck, lips sliding over his own. Her kisses are fierce, hungry and he’s more than happy to let her take control. When their tongues begin to dance, her fangs teasing at his bottom lip he lets out a low moan and eagerly grabs her back to pull her closer. He’s not sure if she’s making those sweet little whimpers for his benefit but they make his pants tight and his head swim. When they finally separate, a thin string of their shared saliva joining them, she chuffs a little laugh into his chin.

“I wanted to kill you, you know. When you first summoned me.”

He chuckles, running a thumb along her jawline.

“And now, little Aurora?”

Her smile is positively vicious as she nuzzles into his touch.

“There are other deaths more suited to us, I think.”

He can’t help but agree.

[iamthecomet]

So how do you think the ghouls sleep, like are they stomach sleepers or do they thrash around a lot i need to know.

Hi! Yes! I'm sorry this took me a minute, my brain power for headcanons was severely lacking over the weekend. But I'm back to being a hermit and I have time (and energy) for fun stuff again. Sunshine is a sprawler. She usually sleeps on her back, but tends to stretch her arms and legs out as much as possible while sleeping. Takes up way more physical space than seems possible. Can occasionally be wrangled onto her side and into a little spoon position if she's with the right ghouls. Cumulus sleeps sort of half on her side, half on her stomach. She always has a pillow tucked into her arms. Occasionally that pillow is replaced by Sunshine. Cirrus moves around a lot in her sleep. Not in a restless way. She just moves, in her sleep. She's generally impossible to wake up. She is also, sometimes, a sleepwalker. Usually only in times of high stress. In the weeks leading up to leaving for a tour the other ghouls will lock her room from the outside. They don't need a repeat of The Incident.

Mountain sleeps on his back. Usually with a ghoul tucked up against him with their head on his chest. He very rarely sleeps alone--not because he doesn't like it, but because others don't like it and Mountian doesn't move in his sleep. So he makes an optimal pillow.

Rain refuses to sleep alone. He hates it. No one really knows why. He usually sleeps on his side, curled up with someone. His positioning in that depends on who he's curled up with. The only ghoul he will not sleep with alone is Cirrus. Prefers to sleep curled up on his side in a small ball. Does not move once he's fallen asleep, but can be restless until he gets there. Aether sleeps on his stomach, sort of sprawled out like Sunshine. Usually with an arm reaching out for pillows, or nearby ghouls. Very good cuddler. But you are not getting away once he has you in his grasp. He and Mountian provide the base for most ghoul piles. Dew sleeps on his side. He's prone to dreaming, so he tends to thrash a little in his sleep depending on the dream. But otherwise is much calmer than anyone anticipates. He doesn't sleep well, or for long though. And rarely makes it through a whole night before he's wiggling out of bed, wide awake, in search of something to do. He and Rain take a lot of naps. Swiss one of those rare people who falls alseep in any position. He doesn't have a preference. He can fall asleep anywhere, with anyone. On his back, on his stomach, curled into a ball, sitting in the chair, on the floor, whatever. He's the kind of ghoul who falls into bed, drags the blanket over him, and falls asleep until morning.

[aballadforbarbatos]

scawy monster D: (SOLOMON)

lucifer encounters a (tokyo) ghoul. the ghoul is YOU! the post is in the form of bullet points below the cut :) more details in the main post. [posting this from my phone, i’ll do all the hyperlinks when i get back from work]

warning: briefly mentions eating a demon

main post

masterlist

“could you please be a little more helpful”

“all my “being-helpful” is spent not doing what i want to solomon sorry”

oh yes it is

solomon smells so nice… mmm… yummy…

he cuts his finger and you pretend that you can’t stand the sight of blood

unfortunately this just makes him want to shove his bleeding finger in your face

watch out solomon, one day he’ll do it at a bad time and then he’ll have something to cry about

one time he really annoys you so you hunt down one of the demons he has a pact mark with and eat them

he notices the mark disappear from his body and goes ???

you say “fascinating. interesting, even.”

he figures the demon just took it a step too far with you and mammon got the bastard

when more demons disappear from his body he asks mammon to stop killing his demons directly

“just let me know if they cause problems okay???”

“wdym killing demons”

“uh. wdym you haven’t been killing them”

serial killer?? demon serial killer?

the way he finds out is you trying to sate yourself via his human flesh smell. it is not working

solomon is wholly distracted though

i mean why would he not be. you have your body entangled in his and keep murmuring things like “mmm” in a half-dazed state

doesn’t notice the demon sneaking up to kill you. or him.

you do though

the demon comes up to you with a knife, he goes to stab your neck

and he would’ve done it too if it wasn’t for you meddling kids! your kagune

you’ve been hunted down so much that it’s literally just a reflex at this point

you raise your arm and a rock hard kagune forms a shield

the blade flies out of the demon’s hand and solomon looks up because, sudden shadow, and they all just kinda stare at you

your kagune disappears and you untangle yourself from solomon

time to eat, you think

solomon misses you :(

you’re too busy filling your stomach to notice

you finish your meal and then start walking away

“uh, don’t you want to cuddle me some more mc?”

“no it’s okay. i’m full now”

give him a couple of seconds to figure it out

WAIT DID YOU EAT THAT DEMON

WAIT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING MY DEMONS

HAVE YOU JUST BEEN USING ME SO YOU DIDN’T EAT LOTS OF THEM

MC DID YOU WANT TO EAT ME

that’s the most important one. you don’t answer any of his questions

FASCINATED by your kagune though

it’s really heavy (as all kokaku kagunes are) so you only bring it out in the most dire of situations

because of how much you’ve Eaten though it’s typically a one hit kill whenever you strike, so you don’t notice it too much

“ooOooOO don’t make mc mad or else they’ll eat you!”

“eat me out???”

“outSIDE, yeah. don’t want to get your blood everywhere!”

solomon is just taunting the brothers. and freaking out luke

“am i yummy, mc?”

whatever those brothers are thinking, it can’t be good

judging from the expressions on their faces you can figure out what they’re thinking though. get your minds out of the gutters. damn.

“sometimes just the thought of you make me drool”

they want you six feet apart at all times now. lucifer even separates you in classes now

solomon finds you anyway

now that he knows you can just form a spear with no warning out of your shoulder blades you’ve just become so much hotter

saying “i need you” and “i need you too” and you both mean completely different things, but also the same thing at the same time

solomon barely escaped death when satan found him cuddling you in bed. barbatos was disappointed

seriously though, stop killing his demons. he’ll get you the meat you need just leave them alone :(

[ryuzatodraws-archive]

If your doing writing could we hear some omega x copia being really spicy?

tag : Omega x Copia , knotting. ye sex!

Copia lets Omega enters his chamber. It's small yet filled with trinkets and amenities. The ghoul goes over towards the corner where his tricycle is.

Nervously, Copia chuckles and sets down his biretta. ''Eh its a bit messy but welcome.''

The ghoul had offered to walk him home that night. It was awfully cold and most of the sibling had returned to their designated room, Terzo as well had retreated earlier into the night. He, however had sent Omega after Copia. ''Make sure he makes it back and didn't stay over at the library. After that you can do what you want.'' The ghoul remember watching the Papa smirk as he pats his back.

''Did you know that rats have t-'' Copia trails off as he turns back towards Omega who had taken off his mask and shirt. The Cardinal's face turns red as the bigger ghoul approaches him and lands a small kiss on his face.

''rats h-have..'' Copia mumbles trails off as he continues kissing Omega, unable to break free from his spell. ''Fuck.'' He gasps before he takes off his cassock hurriedly. The ghoul purrs as he helps him with it, not leaving his lips alone for too long.

Stark naked, Omega picks the cardinal up and sets him on the sofa before he continues his kisses and love markings. Copia runs his hands all over him, taking him the sheer size the ghoul is. How his pecs mountains over his torso, the veins on his arms and his ...satanas those abs are a killer. No wonder Terzo stayed with him, and now he wanted it too.

''Omega I-I'm a virgin...'' He managed to blurt it out for a moment, still arms tangling around the others body.

a chuckle from the ghoul before he pauses and looks down on him. ''I guess it's my lucky night''.

''Oh.''

Omega sits back up on the sofa, pulling his pants low enough that Copia could see his trails leading lower and lower towards his growing bulge. His face turns another hue of red as he looks up at the ghoul.

He's smirking, he certainly knows what he's doing to the poor cardinal. ''You can touch it.''

Slowly Copia crawls towards him on the leather couch. His hand shaky as he grabs hold of the other's length, pulling him out. His own hand didn't even manage to wrap fully around Omega's. He moans at the sheer size of him before slowly kissing his tip. This will definitely break him...how did Terzo handle this every night?

The ghoul purrs, letting him take his pace as he settles against the couch watching him take him slowly. Copia maybe a virgin but he seems to know what he's doing with his tongue. Occasionally the cardinal looks back up at him and he would simply nod.

''Go on''

Copia nods and decided to take his chance. He takes in as much of Omegas he can without gagging, his other hand slowly works on his length. His drool soaks the ghoul's cock as he goes deeper and faster. Omega cant help but to moan, holding onto his head as he tries not to move his hips.

''Stop...lay back.''

simple instructions for the cardinal, he does as so. Showing Omega his hardened cock and hole as he keeps his hands to himself. The ghoul leans forward and lines himself with the other's hole. ''You really gonna make me burst...hold on.'' He pushes in slowly, watching Copia's reaction to the sensation.Midway in the Cardinal starts to mewl softly, the ghoul leans forward and slowly kisses his neck, hoping to relax him. A moan, a mumble and a gasp before Omega bottoms himself inside the man. Slowly his hips takes pace and he can feel Copia wrapping his legs around his waist. A growl coming from the ghoul as he picks up his pace until Copia starts to moan his name out loud.

''I-I'm so close Omega...'' He holds onto him, another hand on his own cock as he pumps in sync.

''Are you gonna take my knot Copia?'' wet skin slapping noise starts to increase around the small apartment, accompanied by Copia's frantic mumbling of yes.

He didn't have to wait for long as Omega pushes his knot in, just in time for his seed to fill Copia up. The Cardinal's back arches as he reaches his peak, staining the ghoul's tummy and chest. Panting and shuddering he holds onto Omega as his eyes rolls back.

The ghoul didn't fall on him, he simply braces himself above the cardinal, catching his breath. Watching Copia coming back to reality with his half - doozy looking face, he smiles a little. He couldn't slide himself out of Copia just yet, and the Cardinal wont stop shooting his seeds at him.

''That good huh?'' Omega chuckles, still hovering.

the tired man simply nods, running his hands over the ghouls' face.

''si, that good''

[captain-astors]

17, 20, 42 & 49 from the ship ask with Seidou x Akira??🙂

Ooh haven't seen seiaki around for a little. Presuming this is all post-ghoulification?

the ask game

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

More reserved, by nature and by extensive trauma respectively. Also if Seidou stayed quiet about his feelings for god knows how long so it's not like this is entirely new. But if anyone can pry this guy open like a clam, (lovingly) it's Akira, and she'll open up pretty quickly verbally about anything she doesn't like, and more positive stuff Seidou's actually alright at sniffing out, and that assurance that if he does something "wrong" he'll be told gently actually brings him a lot of reassurance. He's already aware of the consequences so even if he worries about messing up, he's not worried that she'll be angry at him.

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

Akira's rather blunt about it, but not in a rude way. "No I don't hate you, your brain is being stupid. Hug me if you want or keep your personal space but I'm here for you." And it's a pretty good matchup for Seidou's feral cat of a mind. Sometimes it freaks him out but for the most part that lack of vagueness and straight "yes I do care about you, stop that" doesn't leave his mind much space to fill in the gaps with fears. For Seidou, he's more wordless about it, just sort of hugging her in a little "I hope you feel better soon and I'm sorry." This is a huge testament to his trust and Akira is conscious of that, so often the significance alone is enough to be effective. But just like how occasionally her bluntness frightens Seidou, his touch and lack thereof sometimes makes it worse but she does her best to be understanding.

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

Surprisingly pretty good when it comes to their closer friends. Seina teased Seidou a lot the first time she met Akira, but is genuinely super supportive of this. She's so happy to see that her brother is alive, happy, and finally absolving that rivalry that consumed him for years. As for Akira well- Rest in Peace Kureo. Obviously a lot of the CCG is still a little apprehensive about ghouls, especially one who's brutally slaughtered so many of their ranks and realistically could do the same but as much as their fear the Owl they tend to fear Akira a little more for long enough to warm up to him. He's kind of skittish and keeps to himself anyways, kind of funny for someone who's probably killed a friend of yours. Amon is a little confused but supportive.

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

Absolutely. They do their best to create environments where they both feel comfortable sharing, but they still both have an inclination to keep it quiet until they remind each other that it's alright. There are some things they'll never revisit, not because they don't trust each other but because those events are just too traumatic and recent. And that's alright for now, one day maybe, but currently they're both still within a couple years of some wild nonsense and those boundaries are mutually respected.

[danieyells]

Oh yeah if he thinks he deserves it it's not like. An active thought that keeps him up at night. It's somewhere deep down, influencing his decisions, masquerading among some other feelings he has about that it's fine if he's in a little danger because someone else who deserves it is going to suffer in the end or because he's getting what he wants. He's got backup plans usually--and if he doesn't it's because he thinks failure is relatively inconsequential in that case.

The thing about risking losing Sho is that he's probably been risking that for years. He's probably been treating Sho kinda badly for most if not all of their relationship--he'd probably be a little sweeter on him if he was worried about that. . .then again there's a big difference between Sho being used to him after years and years and Sho finding someone else to hang out with and something else to do. Leo complains about him being boring lately and mostly focusing on the food truck and sparring with Alan, so it does bother him when he has other things to do and other people to hang out with. On the other hand, if Leo has something he's engaged with he has no problem telling Sho to leave him alone too.

So I wonder how worried he really is about losing Sho. . .Sho comes to him if he wants something even though Sho is perfectly capable of shaking people down himself. He probably doesn't think it's really possible that Sho would never come back to him. Then again Sho has another source of income now, so maybe it's starting to be another one of those things he doesn't realize he's feeling. . . .

But yeah there's definitely a thrill in the possibilities. Sho's probably never had that much control over him before--he's probably lost one or two bitch bets before but that's a week at most of punishment. Two or three years is a lot more exciting. Even if he doesn't think he deserves it being on the receiving end of hardship would probably excite him more than a little bit. And that's not even including the thrill of things going unexpectedly like you said.

He is absolutely bored. On the other hand he's always trying to figure out what's going on in Darkwick--even Sho said he knows about Subaru because Leo knows "way too much about this place." He's probably pretty entertained by the treasure trove of information and lore backlog he has access to in the library, not to mention anything he can hack into. And then there's trying to unravel all the information Tohma and Alan are keeping from him and finding out about the ghouls' pacts. . .but it's slow going so he's definitely still bored anyway lmao! Even he relies on social media dopamine. . . .

He is absolutely going to end up either getting hurt or nearly getting hurt--probably doing something for someone else and getting mad at himself for it. Not a ~redemption~ arc but. A good look at what's going on in his head. The fact that he says he wants to make the people who make life suck suffer for doing so tells me it's not all selfishness. He comes first most of the time, yes, he will make life suck for other people if it improves his own life, but he's also not targeting just anybody or only the people who make things rough for him. And even with Sho, he compensates him monetarily and offers him opportunities to take control back with their bets. Maybe it's not balanced but he's not just taking. The fact that he wants in on the spy thing doesn't just feel like "i wanna know what's going on" either. If Alan and Tohma are in pursuit of some enemy then it's probably a common enemy and he wants to take them down too. Everybody wins. But he wouldn't point out that everybody wins. If people knew he cared they'd take advantage.

He really is such a good character and we haven't even seen that much of him sishdusidn I FEEL LIKE HE'S GONNA BE IMPORTANT IN THE LONG RUN IF ONLY BECAUSE HE'S SO NOSY and i cannot wait to see what happens to him. He really is super fun. Even if he were shallow he'd be fun tbh but like. There's more.

Oh yeah people are going to end up changing their tune lol maybe not everyone but. You can tell Leo's not just some selfish, malicious bully if you squint. And once that becomes more obvious people might be more on board with him.

Was looking for something and I was reminded that Leo and Sho's 'Sho becomes Subaru's friend and learns why he made a pact' bet. . .

. . .has Leo willing to give up his control over Sho--and instead Sho gets control over him--in exchange for information.

And you can tell Leo expects Sho to win this--he says that if he wins he gets the food truck. That's not something Leo cares about, that's a threat to make Sho participate. He doesn't get anything out of this if Sho fails aside from the entertainment value of seeing Sho struggle, and maybe the fun of manipulating their situation. Maybe he takes a commission from all of Sho's sales. Nothing major or life-changing for either of them. But I also don't think he's losing out if Sho wins--because he gets information that he wants. And he trusts that Sho wouldn't do anything to harm him--even Sho said that what Leo wants out of being vice captain is freedom and that Leo would get that freedom even if Sho were vice captain.

Alternatively he doesn't care if Sho does something bad to him. . .because he's prone to being a little careless, and even Alan clocked him for it. Maybe Sho's got some resentment he's been holding since they were in middle school and maybe he takes it out on Leo if Leo loses, but Leo knows Sho well enough that he wouldn't keep that up. Sho could have turned on Leo at any point--he's always been bigger and stronger and what's Leo gonna do about it?--and he hasn't. Worst case scenario he has a somewhat humiliating next three years of his life. But Sho doesn't have it in him to treat him too badly.

Or maybe Leo wants him to take it out on him. He's a cynic after all. Maybe he wants to see Sho be selfish and vengeful towards him. It'd justify his worldview. Maybe he thinks he deserves it. Idk.

[alucardownsmyass]

Hi! I'm new to the Hellsing fandom and want to start fanfics for Alucard! I really love the way you write him and you seem to have so much understanding of him so I was wondering if you could help please? So say his bride is a virgin and they are about to bed each other. Would he make sure to turn her into a vampire first? What would he be like and what would their lives possibly be after? If you have any hc's or opinions, I'd love to hear! It's probably very self explanatory but I'm new and he's difficult to write haha! It is okay if you don't want to answer!

WELCOME AND THANK YOUUU! i've been waiting for someone to ask me something like this for so long!! i've never posted them, but i have a bunch of notes written down regarding his lover being untouched. most are from years ago though and need to be edited lmao. i'll type up something new for you that hopefully helps you understand his character a bit more! if not, PLEASE tell my dumbass to redo it.

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just to set you in on some background! being a virgin had so much more meaning back during the times when he was human. the real, historical vlad drăculea literally used to demand that women who lost theirs before marriage suffer impalement, so it's pretty precise how significant one's virginity was to him! 😭 bram stoker of course based his dracula novel on some of the history of vlad iii, so this is probably why the whole 'vampires loving virgins' became a thing. hirano based his version of dracula on both the real vlad and the novel, so this also explains why maintaining your virginity in the hellsing universe is important, and why deflowered humans turn into ghouls. it's a very clever reference imo!

not to mention, it's all just a bunch of religious nature—like where the bible says that you can only participate in sex after marriage, and ancient christianity put virgins on such high pedestals because it was viewed as being pure. of course, vampires are seen as demonic beasts, so that is also where their obsession with virgins stem from—they want to taint their innocence; your typical demon vs. god / good vs. evil trope. but you'll find that alucard is quite far from demonic or evil despite the things he's done. you have to look deep, but there is a layer to him that doesn't make him so much the monster that he thinks he is. he cries, has nightmares, cares for people even if only a few and harbors regrets. monsters don't have, feel or do any of those things.

he'd want his partner's first time to be extremely beautiful and eventful. keep in mind that he was sexually assaulted once; he wouldn't wish what he went through on anyone, so he'd want them to also enjoy their first time because he himself did not get the chance to. if they want him to be gentle, he will. if they request he roughen it up, you bet he will. it's their virginity. he's not going to put himself first during a moment in one's life where he was taught had value. he adores them and wants to show them just how much he does. i have always viewed him as an 'actions speak louder than words' kind of man. perhaps it is rare that he'll say "i love you" but he will damn sure show it.

you also requested headcanons and questioned if he'd turn his lover, so i'll put a few examples below! god, writing them is probably gonna make me tear up lmao. i hope these end up helping you, and thank you for coming to me for the question!

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he'll give you a choice if you want to become a creature of the night or not before he begins, hovering his lips over your fluttering pulse. he'll leave a few kisses against it, just for you to know where his bite shall implant lest you desire vampirism. immortality, in his eyes, is only to be given to those who are deserving—and to him, you deserved his kingdom and more.

say yes, and he will ask if you are sure in your decision one final time. have confidence in your answer and look him in the eyes so he knows for certain that you're willing to place your hand in his for the rest of your life. for eternity. say yes again, and you will feel his hand gently craning your chin to the side for the exposure of your neck. "it's going to hurt at first, my queen, but you wouldn't have come this far if you were unfit of bearing the brunt of a little pain, now, would you?"

if you choose no and wish to remain within the womb of humanity, he will most definitely respect your decision; not only out of love, but because you chose to stay the same. that's something he didn't do in his past, so he admires that. he will be more protective of you, though, since you did not choose to be a vampire and are more vulnerable in comparison.

he appreciates humanity and it's ongoing cycle of ages, and would adore witnessing you grow as the years begin to mold your skin into wrinkles and your hair to grays. even when you become too old that you can barely stand, he will vow to be the reason that you continue to walk. of course, the most difficult part will be having to witness you in your deathbed, but he will always remember you as the light that casted upon his darkness, the one that gave motive for him wanting to walk the dreadful earth for a bit longer. your grave will remain the very first thing he visits every moonrise, a reminder that perhaps, for the first time in his existence, he isn't truly alone.

[pleasantanathema]

The Witcher’s Woes

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x Fem Reader

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: bruising/marking, rough sex, dirty talk, light degradation, mentions of blood/injuries, very mild angst, porn with plot

Word Count: 10k

A/N: This is a collab piece for the Pleasant & Strider Present: Fantasy AU Writing Collab hosted by myself, @present-mel, and @linestrider​ 

You can find all the other wonderfully creative and smutty pieces on our masterlist!

P.S.: This is a long one, if you feel like only reading smut, feel free to jump down to the second line break and begin there. 

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         A Witcher: someone who has undergone extensive training, ruthless mental and physical conditioning, and mysterious rituals, which take place within Witcher schools such as the Wolf, Cat, and Griffin in their respective hidden Kaers, or home castles, in preparation for becoming an itinerant monster slayer for hire. (source: fandom.com).  

          The storms were raging on the coast, salty waves crashing into the shore like heavy hands attempting to crawl out of the sea, only to get dragged back into the abyss. The winds were howling, lightning crashing, yet the storm was the last thing on your mind as you opened the door to your lowly estate.

           Ushijima of Velhad still had his arm raised from where he knocked on the wood, his yellow eyes glowing against the darkness of night. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him, his chestnut hair tousled, lines of rain water dripping down his nose, his cheeks pallid. Even still, The Witcher looked to be a living memory, no new wrinkles or scars that you could detect when the rumbling flashes lit the sky. If it wasn’t for the rain, he would’ve looked entirely the same since you last saw him years ago, smiling in the evening glow of the countryside before departing for a new journey.

           You ushered him in quickly, silently, your instincts for hospitality taking over before you could begin to think of questioning him about his sudden arrival. His armor was damp, heavy, sloshing and clinking as he undid the leather and meteorite laced straps from his shoulders. He was breathing slowly, deliberately. You rushed to grab towels from a chest, blanketing him in warmth as he sat before your rolling fireplace. He uttered a quiet thanks, never one to use words out of place.

           The tea you had been brewing above the fire began to boil. You quickly poured two cups, adding a dash of the alcoholic white gull to his and using a burst of fire magic between your palms to keep the cup warm. You settled into the chair beside him, noticing how his gaze leered into the sparking fireplace.

           “Ushijima,” you finally called him, after time had passed and his hair began to dry, “are you hurt? Is that why you’re here?”

           He grunted from beside you, moving the hand you noticed had been clutching his rib cage.

           “Yes, but not badly. I needed refuge from the storm more-so than a potion.”

           “How did you know where to find me?”

           He was quiet for a moment, perhaps pondering if he should simplify the truth.

           “A sorceress, even in hiding, is never hard to find. The townsfolk talk, you know. I knew you were nearby before even beginning my hunt.”

           “You could have asked for more than the tea I gave you, you know I’m here to help.”

           He leaned back in the chair, his thick, long legs spreading out before the fire, his socks still damp and clinging to his toes, a big cat uncurling his weary limbs.

           “It would have been rude to barge in begging for assistance.”

           Ah, yes. He was still as courteous as always, his Griffin School teaching still ingrained in his mannerisms. Most Witchers were not so polite, but that school in particular valued traditional teachings. You knew you’d have to indulge his small conversation before getting more answers from him; he always played the chivalrous game, after all.

          “Tell me, what brings you to the shores of Blaviken? Last I saw of you, you were riding north, returning to what is left of Kaer Seren.”

           “There is nothing left,” he sighed, both arms now resting on the chair, the last remnants of tea staining his cup, “everything was destroyed, save a few books I found amongst the rubble.”

            “What a shame, that library was a marvel. I would’ve liked to visit it myself.”

             The story of the destruction of Kaer Seren was only well known to those acquainted with the last remaining Witchers. The keep was tucked away amidst the edge of the sea and the snowy mountains of Kovir to the north. The Witchers of that school, all of Ushijima’s kin, were well acquainted with magic and kept a vast library of mystic tomes within their home. But they were secretive, protective of their knowledge. Witchers, men created by magic to become the monsters they killed, were guarded for good reason. Years of persecution had left their numbers in ruin.

            A group of mages felt scorned by the Witchers’ refusal to share their wealth and toppled the castle of Kaer Seren in an avalanche, leaving bodies and crumpled books in the wake, all never to be used again. You could almost picture the blood and ink that stained the snowy graves.

           You’d only heard this story from the mouth of Ushijima himself, one night after too many scuffles and too many drinks.

            “I brought some for you,” he smiled then, warm and soft, full lips on display, “that’s the real reason I’m here.”

            His eyes were especially luminous in the firelight, gold irises reflecting the flames like the most precious of coins. His cheeks were flushed now, color regaining across his skin. Freckles smattered his cheeks like dried blood; you had to hold yourself back from reaching to him, from caressing his skin to see if the marks were lost war paint or new stories etched into his skin. He was tanned from all his time spent meditating in the sun, truly a unique specimen to behold. It was rare to see someone so brutal be so beautiful.

           You were excited at his words, your fingers digging into the grooves of your cup at the mention of magical books awaiting you to peruse them.

           He could see the eagerness behind your eyes and he laughed, then coughed, but continued his soft chuckling again. You paused, realizing he must be in more pain than he was letting on. His arm had returned to his torso, the thickly corded muscle clutching and protecting whatever injury was lying beneath.

           “They’re in my bag by your door, you should go look at—.”

           “Ushi, you’re hurt. Let me take care of you.”

            Before becoming friends with the valiant hunter, you would’ve leapt at the opportunity to read hidden knowledge. But years of acquaintance with the hardened man had your heart tugging in another direction; suddenly, Ushijima was becoming more important than all your years of study and practice in sorcery.

            He had a habit of breaking everything he touched: monsters, glass cups, weapons, he had a very powerful grip, and perhaps you were just the next thing in line to come undone by his hands.

            You stood from your place by the fire, strolling over to a cabinet where you kept all the alchemy ingredients you had collected from your years living alone here by the sea. Many travelers had come by, having heard of the witch by the shore, bringing elements and components to sell at a high price. And you had taken them all, emptying your purse at even the faintest glimpse of a rare material peeking from their bag. You loved your craft, you had perfected it, almost, and every day you spent toiling away finding new ways to create potions and expand your magical knowledge.

          “I need to know what you were hunting earlier.” Your fingers began rustling within the crowded shelves, grabbing an empty bottle as you heard him sigh behind you.

          “A Hym,” he said softly, “it scratched my side, it’s deep, but not fatal.”

           You stilled, eyes darting across all your ingredients. He said the word so easily, so nonchalantly, like he didn’t just battle a demon.

           “A slice from Hym’s ethereal claws drains the life force from their victim, the longer that wound sits untreated, the worse you will get.” You mentally cursed at him, blaming his chivalrous nature for hurting him for longer than he deserved to be in pain. If he had said something when he came in your front door, you could have had him on the mend already.

           “I know that, but a small potion to get me through most of the pain until now.”

           “You’ll need more than that. You’re lucky, I just went to town last week and managed to find vitriol. I can make you a superior swallow drink, just…stay still.”

            Quiet mumbles tumbled from your lips as you worked: measurements, ingredients, small musings as you set aside all the components to begin assembling them upon your alchemy table. Plants like white myrtle, celandine, crow’s eye fell into the bottle of enhanced swallow you already had on hand; you added fruit, nothing too exotic, just the common berbercane, and finally the blue tinted vitriol powder.

           You eyed the hunter as you mixed the potion, swirling the now red liquid within the high neck of the bottle, speeding up the mixing process with a little magic of your own. Only he would have such insouciance concerning a fight with such a wicked creature. He was talented, perhaps not as much as the more legendary Witchers that roamed the lands, but Ushijima was strong, sturdy, nimble and smart when in battle. His stoic nature allowed him to distance himself from the horrors of his life, a life you knew he had not chosen.

           He was an orphan, brought up by the Griffin School and transformed into a monster hunter without much consent, though you knew he had none to give. But he wore his profession like a badge of honor, looking at his life through a lens of helping those who could not help themselves in a world infested with demons, ghouls, and humanoid monstrosities.

           You’d always wanted to admit how admirable you found him, but you knew he was never one to take compliments.

           Standing next to where he was patiently sitting, you offered him the small bottle, the glass precariously dangling in your fingers.

           “Take this,” you pulled the flask away just slightly as he reached for it, “but only after you tell me what the hell you were doing fighting a Hym.”

          “You said it yourself, I get worse every moment I don’t drink that.”

          “You’ve lasted an hour, Ushi,” you chided, “I think you can take a few moments to tell me why there was a Hym near Blaviken.”

           You sat the bottle back on the table, moving to stand behind him and press the towel around his shoulders a little tighter into his neck. He gave you a contented sigh, eyes closing. He never liked to talk about his work, but you always pressed him. You lived in this monstrous world as well, had killed a few drowners while walking along the sands, aided an earl with a botchling, once even made friends with a rather tempting succubus. Everyone in this world was plagued by wretched creatures, he was just more qualified to kill them with his training and silver swords.

          Your fingers pressed into the soft cloth around his neck, picking up the fabric and using it to brush against his hair and continue drying the damp spots still lingering around his ears, the back of his neck. You normally weren’t so blatant with your affection for him, but you knew you had him as a captive audience within the chair. He’d have to tell you his story before earning what he desired, but you might as well humor him with soothing touches while he did.

         “Hyms are nasty things, you know. Demons that feed off the guilt of others.” He began.

         “I found a note from a daughter in distress about her father on a notice board not too far down the road. He was going mad, she wrote, she thought perhaps he had become possessed. I did some searching in their house, found love letters tucked away under the old man’s mattress addressed to his sister-in-law. He wanted her, he loved her, so he killed his own brother to have her. But then she threw herself into the sea from her own grief; I think the Hym could’ve gotten to her first, then transfixed itself onto the man.”

         “Hm, the things we do for love.” You mused, hands coming to rest on his shoulders once again.

          Somehow, he felt stronger, broader than the last time you’d touched him. You sunk your fingers into the sinews on display in his damp shirt, humming to yourself. You’d thought about this before, about having the strengthened hunter sit vulnerably before you, only your thoughts involved the two of you in much less clothing and talking of much less rotten things.

          You closed your eyes for a moment, remembering the sketches you’d seen of Hyms in bestiaries. They were murky, shadowy beings, devilish horns upon their faceless heads, long black claws dripping from their hands. You would have cowered at the sight of such a creature, yet Ushijima sought out to destroy it.

          His gruff voice continued on, “I confronted the man, called out the Hym, and it began to attack. Its claws are long, it scratched me from the very beginning. But it’s gone now, perhaps banished to the dark realm from whence it came.”

          You plucked the bottle from its resting place, handing it to Ushijima over his shoulder. He took it with a simple thanks, head tipping back as he drank the entirety of its contents. You watched almost gleefully at his thick, irresistible neck on display. Everything about him was so strong, so well kept, even as he sat before you dampened from a storm.

         “You know, Ushi, I could listen to you talk like that for hours.”

         “Oh yeah? Then maybe I’ll stick around for a bit this time, let you listen to all my seedy tales.”

         “Mhm, they’re only seedy when that bard friend of yours is around. Is he still alive? Tendō, that is.”

           A flash of red hair and a catlike smile flashed before your mind’s eye as you thought of the dangerous, yet comical bard who often clung to the Witcher’s side.

           Ushijima laughed, clutching at his stomach as you circled his chair and came to stand before him, arms crossed delicately in front of your body. Your figure cast a silhouette across his own, making you seem larger than life in the firelight. He was enraptured in the inky vice of your shadow.

          “Yes, somehow he is still alive. Last I heard of him, he’s off singing songs in the capital of Redania to some rich heiress.”

          “Good to hear,” you shrugged, “I always liked him.”

          “No, he always liked you.” He wiggled his eyebrows, the action sending you into a fit of giggles as well. “And I can’t blame him.”

          Your laughter subsided at his words, a warm tingle spreading across your body. Normally Ushijima was not one to flirt without the aid of alcohol; perhaps you’d given him more than you thought in his tea earlier? You watched him relax in his seat, lifting his shirt to reveal a quickly fading wound upon his tawny skin, the old blood sinking back into the muscle where it belonged.

           Thunder rumbled outside the walls, a heavy boom resounding from the gods above.

           “You should bathe, Ushi.”

           “What, do I smell?”

           He was suddenly so playful, so charming, his grin making you feel flustered.

           “You will soon, I’m sure. Go beyond those doors,” you pointed over your shoulder, “It’s a heated pool, one of the reasons I chose this god forsaken estate.”

           “Will you join me?”

           You took a pause. This man was always making you pause, making you step back and evaluate your words and actions around him. Surely, he was joking. But the gleam in his bright eyes told you a different story, there was more lingering behind his words that you did not yet understand.

           “I will, but only after I take a peek at those books you brought me. Now, off with you.”

           You brushed by him as he stood, arms stretching above his head, his body shifting as he evaluated the healing wound upon his flesh. His heavy boots clunked against the floorboards as he followed your command, the sound of an enhanced predator marking his path. He slid through the door at the back of the great room and left you alone once more.

           You would’ve been ashamed if he saw how quickly you rushed to his bag, gathering the cold, dusty books in your arms before setting them gently on the table. They were relics, ancient, undoubtedly hiding secret runes and magic within their spines.

           Your fingertips brushed over the titles of the four books he brought you, but despite being entranced by the knowledge lying in wait for you, you were imagining your fingers to be elsewhere. You flipped one book open, your nails following the lines of ink, but your mind took in no words you read.

You were somewhere else; you were mentally with Ushijima, your fingers back in his hair, your hands exploring places unknown to you on his skin. He was the well-guarded book you desired to read, to hold, to explore.

______________________________________________________________

           Ushijima was astounded by your bath. He knelt to the stones on the ground, using his keen senses to feel the heated rocks and look for their source. There were some offshore vents that were connected to this place, feeding in warm water to the bath. He took in a deep breath, smelling the lingering hint of salt in the air, but the scent didn’t entirely match the ocean.

           He dipped his fingers in the water, finding it smooth, warm, unsalted. You must have put magic in place to filter all the sediment from the pipes. You always were clever, even in the smallest of ways. Your wit was something he admired about you.

           He took his time undressing, his ears perked as he heard you rustling paper in the other room. He had felt embarrassed at first about being so sentimental towards you; he had known from the beginning of his journey that any tomes he found would be placed into your care for you to enjoy. He’d read them, of course, the journey from Kovir and Poviss still a long one to the border of Redania where you lived. As he divulged himself in the ancient knowledge of his Witcher school, he always pictured you reading the same words he did; he felt your presence nestling into his skin, enveloping him like a magic spell. He liked to imagine how you’d react to the pages, how many notes you would scribble down from certain intriguing sections.

           Ushijima thought about you more than he cared to admit.

           Naked, he stepped into the bath, his screaming muscles finally silenced under the hot press of water against his body. The bathing pool had a ledge around its border, and he took a seat at the back, arms spreading out like heavy wings along the rocky edge. He sat where he could watch the door; it was instinct, he told himself, to always be aware of his surroundings, but he knew he was just waiting to glimpse your figure appear before him.

           Some nights, when preparing his tent under the stars, he would think of the first time he met you. He had traveled with Tendō to some opulent gathering in Toussaint, one filled with wine and vampires he knew were hidden amongst the crowds, but any thought he had of a hunt had vanished when he saw you. You were delightful, enchanting, eye-catching amongst the throngs of people. It didn’t take long for his friend to seek you out, to gain your friendship, and Ushijima watched patiently from the sidelines, watched how you held yourself with such poise and dignity. But all the while, he was aching to get closer to you, to touch you, to know you.

          You had become his guilty pleasure over the years, a fantasy he envisioned as he lay alone at night. Even when he was meditating, he was hard-pressed to not find himself seeing your skin behind his eyes, imagining how your body would feel within his hands. The hands of a killer, a fiend, hands that crushed whatever he held all too easily. But you, you were so powerful, so seemingly untouchable, and he found himself unworthy to behold you. He was just another creature, a man turned monster, someone wholly undeserving of a divine sorceress.

          He huffed to himself, a shy smile pulling at his cheeks as he thought of your words from earlier.

         “The things we do for love.” He repeated the words to himself, sinking a little deeper into the water.

           He didn’t have to wait long for you to enter. He was unexpectedly aware of his nakedness as you entered, fully clothed still in your corset and trousers. He felt heat rising to his cheeks, spreading down across his belly, at the prospect of watching you change; it would be impolite to ogle you. He turned his gaze instead to the water, watching how the surface lapped at his skin as he shifted his weight.

           “Are you comfortable?” You called out to him from across the room. He could hear your clothing shuffling, hear the laces coming undone one by one from your body. The room felt quiet, the air smothering. He’d felt so bold earlier, but now he felt almost ashamed that he had asked you to join him.

           “Ushiwaka,” you implored with a little more strain to your voice, “don’t tell me you’ve gone shy on me.”

           His gaze shifted up for only a moment, catching a glimpse of your naked back as you peered over your shoulder at him, your hands ready to pull down your breeches and become fully naked. He couldn’t help himself, he gawked at your beauty, tracing every curve, line, and dip across your splendidly sculpted skin. You looked more beautiful than any constellation he pointed out with his finger in the night sky. He unabashedly gazed at the planes of your shoulders, the gentle slope of your spine. He imagined taking his time to map the uncharted waters of your body, of discovering every hidden cosmos tucked away within your curves.

           “Yes,” he cleared his throat, “I think I’ve become even more comfortable at the sight of you.”

           He held his breath for a moment, waiting for your reaction. Upon seeing you smile and turn your face away, he sighed, sinking deeper into the pool, arms barely keeping him afloat from where they rested on the edge.

           He heard splashing as you waded into the water, submerging yourself up to your neck before you came to sit just a few feet away from him. From here, he could study you more closely, see the elegant slope of your neck into your shoulder. He was pleased to note that he could still make out the form of your breasts in the water, the lovely globes just barely dipping out of sight.

           “I must say, even in the given circumstances, you’re still a sight for sore eyes.” He always loved how silky your voice was, always melodious to his ears. He always worried he’d forget how it sounded, but your timbre matched the tone he had been playing in his head since he last saw you.

           “I haven’t heard the name Ushiwaka in a long time,” he confessed, “it’s always Witcher now, or Ushijima of Velhad since that’s where I did most of my work.”

           “Well, you lost that name—Wakatoshi—a long time ago when you were picked up by the Witchers, but I know it is sentimental to you still. If you prefer, I can just call you Ushijima.”

           “You know I don’t mind it.” He felt like he said the words too quickly.

           “Hm, well, I’ll call you anything you let me, Ushiwaka.”

           A shiver hit his body at your words, he was keen enough to know there was innuendo laced behind them.

______________________________________________________________

           You closed your eyes, head leaning back against the warm stone as you allowed the steamy water to wash away the grime of the day. You moved your hands over your body, feeling the sticky sweat melt away. You reached for a small towel, tossing one in Ushijima’s direction and watching how he caught it so effortlessly, like a cat swatting at a shadow on the wall. He received a small bar of lavender soap with the same ease, his nose wrinkling at the flowery scent.

           You both took a moment to wash, you humming an old tune, Ushijima remaining silent aside from the sloshing of water made from his heavy limbs beneath the surface.

           You’d never been in such an intimate space with him before. A bath is time of solace and cleansing, but also one of exposure and susceptibility. Water intentionally brings forth feelings of intimacy and ambivalence. You knew he was there, watching, his heightened senses attuned to every sound, smell, every minimal movement around him. You couldn’t take his silence any longer.

           “I—,” you began quietly, “can I ask you something?”

           His movements ceased, those radiant eyes now focusing entirely on you. You instantly felt heat spread across your chest, climbing up and darkening your ears with blush. You wondered for a moment if he could see through you, in you, see how fast your heart was pounding blood through all your veins. His intense stare made you feel like he was closer, his deadly hand wrapped acutely around your heart, aiding it as it struggled to beat harder, faster.

           “Of course.” His words were direct, poignant, the deep vibrations almost tingling the water itself.

           “When you were facing that Hym, at any moment, did you fear it would sense your grief?”

           You could tell he was taken aback by your words. He placed the wet cloth to his chest, his long fingers digging into the fabric as he pondered what you said.

           Once again, he wasn’t sure if he should simplify the truth. He mulled over your question, let the words seep into his consciousness as he looked up to the ceiling. He should’ve known you were astute enough to see through him.

           “Yes,” he stated, “I did.”

           He didn’t wish to elaborate any further, but he could tell his curt response didn’t satisfy your internal reasonings.

           “I see.” You noted somberly.

           “How did you know?”

           He watched you slink farther under the water, searching for cover, searching for a way not to express your thoughts. He noticed how your legs crossed beneath the surface, the light from the hanging candles glittering through the water.

           “I know you didn’t choose this path, didn’t choose to be a Witcher. That was forced upon you; you were lucky you even survived the Trial of Grasses that made you into what you are—.”

           “A monster.” He interjected flatly.

           “You’re not…” you sighed, dipping your head into your wet hand, “you’re no monstrosity, Ushi, not even a miscreation.”

           He tensed at your words, catching how you regarded him with a solemn look.

           “I didn’t choose a life of sorcery, you know. I was torn away from society when I was a girl, taught to use my source of magic to heal wounds, but also how to kill someone in an instant. People…powerful people used me to their advantage. It’s why I stay hidden now, I’m running from my past misdeeds. I know what it is like to have regrets; to grieve.”

            He only nodded in understanding, afraid of using the wrong affirmations.

            A heavy silence fell between you once again. You plucked the soap from its resting place behind you, thoughts tumbling through your mind like the waves crashing at the shore outside. So many words were desperate to leave your mouth, to be birthed and said and made into reality between you, but you dared not.

           If anyone understood the weightiness, the hidden meaning behind silence, it was Ushijima.

          But even he couldn’t bear it much longer. He grunted, running his wet hands over his face as he contemplated his next move.

         “Well, tell me this. What would you be if not a sorceress?”

         “Hm? Oh, I’ve never thought about it before. I’ve just…always accepted my fate.”

          “I’d have been a sportsman,” he declared, a slight uplift in his voice.

          “Oh really?” He watched as a grin pulled at your cheeks, the heaviness of the conversation before dissipating. “And what sports are you good at, Ushiwaka?”

          “Anything with a ball,” he shrugged, “some kids down south play games with poorly strung nets, and they do their best to keep the ball from hitting the ground as they toss it back and forth. I think I’d be quite decent at it; I am agile, after all.”

          “Powerful, too.” You remarked.

          “You think so?” He teased.

           He eyed you carefully as you set the cloth and soap aside.

           You began to move... towards him. His eyes narrowed, his hands mimicking your actions and setting his bathing instruments to the side, freeing his hands.

           You were ethereal in the water, gentle waves lapping at your skin, the ebb and flow of it shimmering around your body.

          “Now that I think about it, I know what I would at least be proficient as if not a sorceress.”

           The smirk that tugged at your lips intrigued him. Before he could stop himself, he was reaching out for you, taking your arms and pulling you towards his chest.

          “And that is?”

           Time stopped for a moment as you settled yourself into his lap, the sound of your breathing, the feeling of skin upon skin, touch upon touch, the only increments of time needed.

           His body was so hot, so willing to accept yours upon it.

          “I’d be a wonderful whore.”

          Golden eyes flickered up to you, lashes low, his lips parted.

         “Care to show me?”

          Your skin was cold to his warm touch, his hot breath fanning across your cheeks. He was so close, so eager, you could feel hardness begin to form between where your thighs cradled his.

          Your hands slid across his shoulders, feeling the grooves and puckers of scars pass under your touch. You settled your grasp onto his neck, steadying yourself above him. His hands played against your skin under the water, the heavy fingers finding your hips and sinking into the smooth flesh he found. You gasped aloud at the feeling; his grip was strong, iron-clad, daring to leave marks behind. You wanted to break under his touch, collapse against his chest and allow the water to pull you both under into euphoria, but you secured your inner desires. Your back straightened, your fingers clawing into his thick skin.

          “Ushiwaka,” you whispered it like a humble prayer, your lips brushing his, “kiss me.”

         He groaned, pulling you a little closer, spreading your thighs a little wider.

        “Why don’t you kiss me, little temptress? Show me how much you want me.”

         You felt bewitched, wondering for a moment if he had placed you under a mind control spell with his words. Your thoughts were jumbled, but they were still yours: kiss him, touch him, read the hidden words on his inky pages like you had long desired.

         Your lips met his tenderly, hesitantly, tasting the salt of water and sweat against his awaiting mouth. He breathed through his nose like he was exhaling life into you. He moved his mouth against yours, testing you, pushing at you, and effortlessly you gave in. Your eyes were closed, but you felt like you could still see him, felt like you knew every step in the dance he was leading you in. It felt so natural, so smooth, and you found yourself clinging to him with every press of his lips against yours.

          Then his mouth fell open; an invitation. You followed him, sliding your tongue in, finding his own past his teeth. He felt like true sin, his tongue tempting yours to reveal its secrets to him. It was slow, methodical, a mutual exploration of tastes and pleasures you had both long craved to discover.

          Your chest fell to his, your breasts meeting the hard planes of muscle found there. You moaned, the sound of water moving igniting your hunger as one of his hands meandered up your back, fingers lapsing into your soft muscles. He offered you a groan, and you took it desperately, hastening your kiss and plunging you both deeper into one another. One of your hands wandered from his neck, slipping down his chest, pressing him back against the edge of the pool. Your nails pulled at his flesh, wanting, needing, unknowing how to gain purchase against such solid muscle.

          He tasted like tea leaves: earnest, alluring, but also like the earth, like something natural and primal. It was a taste that was familiar, enticing, and every time he took a moment to breathe, you found yourself diving back in for another taste, another glimpse of what lay hidden beyond his lips.

          “Mhm,” he moaned as he finally pulled away, chest rising and falling, “perhaps I’ll mold you into my own personal whore.”

          “I’d like that, Ushiwaka.”

           The blood within his veins rushed to his cock at the sound of his name, of that personal name, falling from your sweet voice. Fuck, he would give anything to have you, but it seemed that he didn’t have to. He could feel by the way you clung to him, by the way you kissed him with such fervor, that you desired him all the same. It was thrilling to know you wanted him, and he wondered how far he could take you.

           His hand glided away from your back, circling around to your chest. He cupped one of your breasts in his hands, holding back a groan as he felt the weight of it within his palm. He watched how the water lapped at your skin, the ripples from his movement brushing against a hardening nipple. The small sound of delight that left your lips had him refocusing his gaze to your face. You wore a sly smile, your own hand upon his neck tightening in anticipation of his next move.

           “I’m a dark man, my love. Hardened.”

           He was toying with you, but his words offered some truth. Ushijima had been envisioning you like this for far too long; there many devious things he wanted to do to your body.

           You leaned forward, pressing a wet kiss to his ear, your voice low, “hardened indeed…I can feel you between my thighs.”

           He smirked at your words, taking your nipple between his fingers and listening to you gasp as he gave it a simple tug. Your teeth found his ear in response, nipping tenderly.

          His eyes fluttered at the feeling; a groan caught in his throat. He wondered if you could sense it. You pulled back slightly, angling your head to give him another kiss. He accepted it gladly, tongue ready to find yours again.

         “You can be an obedient little whore, can’t you?” He rumbled against your lips; his words being lost inside your mouth.

          You ate the words like you were starved, a hot moan swallowing them down as you felt a shock of pleasure race down your spine. He grunted at your action, the hand upon your breast squeezing in response.

         “Yes,” you said softly, as he allowed you to escape his kiss, “where did all your chivalry go, Ushiwaka?”

         He smirked as you teased him, his lips dipping to your neck, tongue tracing the lingering water droplets that fell down your skin.

         “It’s waiting between your legs.”

          It was a growl, the sound of a predator marking his prey, the sound of a man holding back his lusts.

         You sucked in a breath, eyes closing as you dipped your head back and allowed him more access to the length of your throat. The hand at your breast squeezed harder, his thumb and forefinger rolling languidly across your straining nipple. You felt like you were lost at sea, the weight of the water around your bodies feeling heavier as Ushijima pulled you into his tides. He was the moon, pushing you, pulling you; he always has been. For so long he kept you at arm’s length, toying with you, teasing you, bringing you so close to him but never close enough. But tonight, the moon was waning, his control faltering as he finally gave in and allowed himself to fall into the calling sea.

         He held you back on his thighs, but you could feel the heat radiating from his body below the surface. One of your hands trailed down his chest as he sucked dark red marks into the junction of your shoulder and neck, staining your skin with colors from his own making. He bit your skin especially rough when your wandering fingers found the hard lines of his stomach.

        You were tentative, taking a moment to feel if his wound was finally gone from the magic bestowed upon him. You could only feel scars underneath your palm, though one felt particularly puckered and new. But his stomach wasn’t your goal, it was what was straining against it.

        He cursed into your skin when you wrapped your hand around his cock, fingers pumping against the silken skin within the water. His lips fell lower, his eyes closing as he littered open-mouth kisses against your chest, now using both hands to cup your breasts and bring a nipple within his mouth. You moaned loudly, a rush of ecstasy coursing through your veins. He pulled you forward, forcing your hand away from his cock. Instead, he shifted to where his cock was nestled between your pussy and his stomach, allowing just enough friction to keep you wanting.

        He needed to keep his head clear if he was going to please you in all the ways he had dreamt of. He was going to taste you, tease you, earn the right to claim your body as his own.

        “Ushi—,” you went to whine, but a calloused pinch to your nipple ripped his name away from your mouth.

        “Be quiet.” He demanded against your breast, teeth lightly tugging at your hardened bud.

        You only gasped in response, hands smoothing across his broad shoulders as he worked his way to your other breast, hands needy, mouth exceptionally hot. Your hips pressed down and you felt the length of his thick cock against your aching pussy. You experimentally slid yourself against him, desperate to feel more touch against your most sensitive flesh, against the place that had wanted him for so long.

        His hands moved to your hips to still you, his vice-like grip returning.

        His mouth left your breast, his chin tilting up to look at you. Those glowing eyes were dark, ravenous; perhaps there was something monstrous sleeping inside of him, ready to awaken.

        “Stop tempting me. You’ll regret it.”

         His reflexes snapped as your lips parted to speak. Two thick fingers slid onto your tongue, pressing it down, the taste of water and leather swirling in your mouth. His taste was a mixture of his worn gloves and the floral soap he’d cleansed himself with. You groaned, head tilting back as you let him have his way, your mouth suctioning around his fingers for some kind of relief.

        He eyed you carefully, watching the sinews in your neck come on display for him. Bruising marks of his design were blooming on your skin, little fragments of memories coming to life before his eyes. Your mouth felt like sin and he could already imagine how it would feel to have his cock sliding against the supple lips wrapped around his fingers.

        Ushijima twisted your nipple again, a little harder, a little tighter, feeling pleased with himself as he heard and felt the grumble of a groan against his skin. A small drip of saliva trickled down your chin and he used his thumb to smear it into your cheek.

         He could’ve held you like this for all eternity, had you pressed against his cock, his fingers padded against your tongue, your beautiful breasts on display as he groped one, watching the flesh mold into his hand. He had you subdued, compliant, a wondrous creature caught in a dangerous trap. He could do anything he wanted to you right here and now, and the realization had his cock twitching against your cunt.

         For his own enjoyment, he was going to mark you, leave something behind on the picturesque pallet of your body.

         You would never be allowed to forget him, as he knew this vision of you would forever live inside his mind.

         He took his time, each bite and suck carefully and meticulously placed. Ushiwaka was never one to use his mouth without purpose, whether it be for his words, or his kisses. Your shoulders, your chest, your breasts, nothing was forgotten, and you felt like you had been sitting on his lap for eons. Each time his mouth curled into your flesh, his hair tickling you, you felt hotter, more alive than before. You pressed down harder against him, searching for some kind of release to the pleasure he was building inside of you. But he had you pinned, a strong arm encircled your back and kept you exactly where he wanted you.

         When he sucked your nipple back into his mouth, you cried out against his fingers, your tongue darting between the digits as you sucked a quick breath in through your nose. He paid you no mind, his own tongue licking meticulously at your nipple, up and down, slow and steady. The bliss that erupted from your breast was almost mind-numbing. Your thighs clenched around his, your head lolling back even farther than before. You needed more, you were desperate to feel that talented mouth back on yours, to feel his fat cock slip inside you were you needed it.

         Finally, he released you, his mouth leaving your breast as he slipped his fingers from your mouth. You took a moment to catch your breath. He splashed his drool covered fingers in the water, bringing the wet digits back to your face to wipe you clean, his thumb tracing your lips with care.

        “See what being quiet gets you?”

         You nodded your head in agreement, your nails finally releasing his shoulders where they had been clawing into his skin.

         “I need you,” your arms wrapped around his neck, your mouth finding his in a tender kiss, “please, Ushiwaka.”

         “You beg so prettily, my love. Perhaps I should have you beg a little more.”

         “No! Fuck, please…” you entangled yourself around him, legs curling around his toned waist, your face nestling into his shoulder. You brushed the skin found there with your mouth, hungrily moaning against him. You were frantic; you had already waited for him for so long, thought about him for too many nights, too many years.

         His strong arms enveloped your back and he lifted you easily from the water. You adhered yourself to his body, ready to have your muscles clench around him to assist, but he needed no such help. Your weight was effortless to him.

         Ushijima used the ledge of the pool as a step, faultlessly exiting the pool like a nautical divinity coming to soft shores. He was cautious as he laid your wet body upon the heated stone, careful not to crush you under his weight. He watched your eyes alight as you took in the sight of him out of the water, now hovering above you. Your gentle fingers traced over his biceps, his shoulders, his chest, finding the constellations of scars upon his skin, his own physical galaxy for you to explore.

         He took your face in his hand as one of his muscled thighs spread your legs. You were entranced in his gaze, finding yourself lost in the molten amber of his eyes as his pupils danced across your face. He was taking in every bit of you that he could, burning this vision of you below him into his memory. You were flushed, lips parted, slightly swollen from his ardent kisses. Your delicate hands moved to rest beside your head, palms facing him, submissive.

        “Please,” your voice broke him from his trance, “don’t make me wait any longer.”

         He nodded in response, eyes tracing down across your body. He relished having you before him like this, back arching towards him, breasts falling, your hips shifting against his legs. The hand on your face trailed away, making a path down your torso, fingers swirling against the lost dewy droplets against your skin. And then he finally peered down farther, having to steel himself from groaning as he found your awaiting pussy.

        Your skin was prickling from the cool air meeting it, gooseflesh creeping up your legs, down your arms. Your heart was pounding in your ears as you watched him, waiting for him. You could practically see the thoughts racing through his mind, though you wished you could know them. What was he thinking? Was he hesitant?

        Your own contemplations vanished when his warm, wet fingers spread your pussy, two fingers deftly sinking along the sides of your lower lips. You moaned, eyes fluttering closed, heat pooling within your belly. He took his time exploring you; he was a man of patience, after all.

        You could feel his weight shift back as he sat on his knees, spreading your legs across his thighs. He curled one leg back for him, opening you up more for his viewing pleasure. His finger slowly traced up the center of your cunt, finding your sticky wetness coating the digit as it carefully curled against your clit. You let out a quick gasp, hips twitching, and he repeated the motion, watching you slowly come apart from the simplest of touches.

        His other hand found his cock, fisting it as he played with you. You could hear the slick pumping of his hand against himself, and you moved your weight upon your elbows to sit up and watch him. Even on his knees, Ushijima of Velhad was intimidating, all broad shoulders and heavily corded muscle across his body. You admired how his arm flexed as he stroked himself, how his toned stomach was clenching with need. Your mouth fell open as you glimpsed his thick cock within his palm. It fit so perfectly in his big hand, throbbing, thick veins calling out to be inside of you.

         You wanted to beg for him again, but your words were lost when one of his fingers slid inside of you, stretching your walls to fit around him. You dropped back against the warm stone, mouth falling open.

         “So tight,” he said it like a fact, like he expected it, “you’ll feel so good stuffed with my cock.”

          You bit into your lip in a whimper as he curled the digit inside of you, pumping it once, twice, with agonizing slowness. But soon, he added a second finger, the thick digits spreading you, testing you. His pace was calculated, fingers pleasurably systematic. You moaned at every twist and plunge, hips arching off the floor to meet his pace. His thumb began to circle your clit and you swore that stars overtook your vision, bursting in the corners of your eyes as you tried to focus on the ecstasy churning deep within your stomach. His long fingers were stroking your velvety walls just perfectly, each plunge feeling deeper and deeper than before, fanning the flames beneath your skin even hotter.

        “Ushi, please…”

       “Please what, my love? Tell me.”

        He was particularly cruel, electing to rub your clit faster, harder, making your words choke in your throat. You cried out, feeling the orgasmic coil begin to tighten in your belly. You were already so strung out for his love, for his touch, and you knew your little death was just around the corner.

       “Make me cum, p-please!”

        You felt his heavy body come back to yours, the hand on his cock ceasing its movements and instead finding your hand beside your head. His strong fingers wrapped around your flesh, curling into your forearm, thumb tactfully pinning down your wrist to the stones below.

       He repositioned the hand between your thighs, now using the palm of his hand to press against your aching clit. His fingers found the soft patch of flesh inside of you, petting against it skillfully, like he already knew exactly what you needed, knew exactly what made you fall apart to his immoral hands.

       His face dipped to yours, causing your eyes to flicker open to find his adoring gaze above you. He pressed a lazy kiss to your lips, muffling your moans as your legs began to press against his forearm, thighs begging for the release he could bring you. His mouth matched the rhythm of his fingers within you, his body in harmony with your own, pulling you tightly like the strings on a well-played lute. You were so ready to snap, so ready to sing songs of praise up into him, but all too soon his mouth and his hand left your body.

        He could read the bewilderment on your face, feel you try to press back against him, but he held you down easily with the weight he forced onto your wrist.

        “I want to feel you come undone on my cock,” he whispered against your lips, “are you ready?”

        His hand, now slick from your pussy, pushed your thighs apart wider, curled your legs back farther, his own thighs pressing into your soft flesh. You felt his cockhead brush between your dripping folds.

       “Yes! Take me, for the love of all things hol—!”

        His hips slammed into yours, his throbbing cock filling you, stretching, pressing you far beyond what you expected. He hushed your cry with his mouth, his hand cupping your thigh and urging your body to move with him as he began to thrust within you. Your hand that he pinned to the floor fisted in on itself, your nails threatening to break your own skin as your mind struggled to catch up with your pleasure. You were so full, so fucking full, so overwhelmed by him.

        His dewy, tawny skin felt so sinful against yours, the lingering moisture on your bodies bleeding into one another. His hips were strong, fast, each plunge of his cock going deep, deep, deep into your awaiting depths, finally uncovering every hidden place on your body to have as his own. You gasped and moaned into his mouth, and his sighs melded with yours, his kiss desperate, lips crashing into yours with more fervor than the storm that raged outside.

        You felt so utterly lost, yet so wholly encompassed by him, by his earthy scent, by the weight of his body against yours. Your breasts slid against his chest, nipples pebbling as they brushed against his downy hair. Your back was skating against the warm stones below, the pressure against the hard surface enough to make you ache, but it paled in comparison to the jolts of pure pleasure that resounded through your body with every thrust of his massive cock inside of you.

        “More,” you pleaded softly, lips peppering him with ardent kisses, “more, more, more.”

         You felt him place more pressure on your trapped wrist and you gasped, worried for a split moment that your bones would splinter under his power. But he was cautious, moving your arm gently to rest above your head. The hand on your thigh crept up your body, stopping for only an instant to grope at your bouncing breast. But his fingers quickly moved on, skimming up your other arm, palm smoothing against your dampened skin. He soon found your wrist, now using both his mighty arms to pin your own above your head, leaving you entirely at his mercy.

         “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

          His words were a dare, a wicked promise.

          At the nodding of your head, he smirked, lips coming to your ear.

         “Tell me to stop if it becomes too much, you promise?”

          His thrusts had never faltered, the air in your lungs still hot from all your heavy breaths. You closed your eyes again, finding your voice.

          “I promise.”

          The primal sound that left his chest startled you; you could feel the rumbling spread across your body like aftershocks of an earthquake. His hands around your wrists tightened, arms tensing. He shifted forwards, pushing your hips up, legs wider.

         And then he began to pound mercilessly into your body. You screamed, the high-pitched shrill echoing within the room, rebounding off the walls, soaking into his naked skin. Every fantasy he ever had of you suddenly came alive inside his mind, burning like a roaring fire, making his vision go blind as he pounded himself inside of you. You were so warm, so god damn tight, your pussy sucking him in with every unbridled thrust that he felt like he would break open from all the euphoria that was crackling within him.

        He called out your name, over, and over, and over again, reminding himself who he was with, who he finally had coming undone below him. He was still holding back, too afraid of breaking you, but even still his hips moved faster, harder, the sound of skin slapping against skin ringing in his ears like the constant moans and praises that feel from your mouth.

         “Ushi, fuck, fuck, yes!”

         He was being cruel, he knew it, slamming into you like this, making your body bow into the floor, but he didn’t care. He needed to feel that coil that was tightening inside of you earlier come to fruition on his cock, he needed to spill his seed inside of you.

         You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, could only feel what was happening to you. All your focus was upon his cock stretching your pussy, filling you so perfectly that you knew you’d never want to feel another again. It was like you were made for him; all your limits were being pushed at once. Your wrists ached within his grip, surely bruising under such an immense hold, but you felt secure, safe underneath his power.

         Your knees were bent to their threshold of flexibility, your ass now well above the floor as he curled you to fit him. His cock was so deep, his thrusts now remaining almost entirely inside of you, pounding away at your insides like a man gone mad. You were at the borders of your composure.

         “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted, eyes watering, mouth open, body stinging, longing, begging for him, “g-gonna, gonna, cum!”

         “That’s right,” he murmured, tongue daring to skim the shell of your ear, “cum on my cock, baby, cum for me.”

          Your nails finally pierced the flesh of your palms as you came completely undone around him, orgasm bursting forth and blooming around you in euphoria. All your senses came crashing down, every small detail becoming more alive and ever present than ever before. It was all so much, the pleasure pooling in your belly and spreading across your body faster than lightning that raced across the sky. His hot breath was against your neck, your legs aching, blood dripping down your palms, water still cooling against your skin, his balls slapping against your ass cheeks. You could hear every sound: your screams ringing against the stone, his grunts into your hair, the wet suck of your pussy around his cock, even the still water resting in the pool.

          Your body was wrecked with tremors as he continued his ruthless assault, sweat beading at the nape of his neck. Your orgasm drenched his cock with thick, wet slick, encouraging him to drive a little harder, push a little deeper. He heard little pained gasps from your mouth, but he warned you he was corrupt, told you to stop him, yet you were taking him so fucking well, so fucking perfect like he knew you would. He was so close, so painfully close, his cock throbbing, his rigorous pace becoming unsettled as he felt your sweet thighs wrap around him.

          Then there it was, the sound of your voice, the sound of his goddess calling to him.

          “I want your cum, n-need it, please, fill me up, make me yours.”

          He finally crashed, your words like the irresistible call of a siren. Hot cum filled your tight pussy, his cock thumping deep inside your womb. You felt like you could breathe again, his inhuman strength finally laxing upon your ruined body.

          His mouth found yours again, his lips tender and now so familiar and welcoming. The tension in your body washed away, his loving hands tracing over your body as he allowed your legs to finally rest. Your heart was hammering in your chest; you could feel every beat inside your rib cage as you finally calmed down, mind returning, body waking up from its lust.

         Ushijima slid himself from inside of you, leaving your body with a groan of satisfaction. He watched his cum pool between your thighs, pearl white and stark against the stones. He looked up at you, all of you, admiring your spent body below him. He watched how your breasts heaved with breaths, how your eyes were blinking mindlessly up at the ceiling as you came down from your high.

        But then he recognized the bruises on your arms, the bites on your chest, the indentions of the stone upon your sides, the bloody nail prints in your open palms. He cursed himself, cursed his monstrous hands—he knew he was never meant to hold you, that he was unworthy.

        “I hurt you.”

         His simple words brought you back to reality.

         You sat up then, stretching your body as you came face-to-face with him once more.

         “Oh please.” You chided, a smile forming on your face as you cast a simple spell within your torn hands. He eyed you curiously as the blue tinge of magic twisted within your palms, your small wounds closing, even the marks upon your chest healing to a more reasonable color. They were still there, the small reminders he created, but they would fade on their own in a few days.

         You took his face in your hands, thumbs caressing his handsome cheeks.

         “No more grief, Ushiwaka. Please, for me?”

          He only drew you closer in response, cradling you in his arms.

          A few words of thanks came forth from his mouth, but you paid them little mind, too caught up in his embrace. You remained entangled in one another for a moment longer, both at ease in the company of each other’s breaths, your heart beats, the feeling of fingers skimming over skin.

        “Stay with me awhile?” You questioned softly into his chest.

        “Did you think I was going to leave after that?”

        “You always leave, you know, at some point.”

        “Not this time, my love. I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me.”

         You both felt the pull then, the same tug that you had both longed to feel for so long.

         You were at home.

         Ushijima pulled you to your feet, wordlessly leading you to get dressed and follow him back into your great room. You saw the books still open on your desk, forlorn and nearly forgotten.

         He settled back into the chair after stoking the fire in your pit, bringing the flames back to life. He stretched out, yawned, and appeared wholly comfortable there, magnificent arms crossed upon his chest.

         You could get used to seeing him there, and you knew little by little, he’d allow you to read his pages, too.

_______________________________________________________________________

Note: I don’t own anything from Haikyuu or the Witcher Universe. 

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[tonguetiedraven]

can you do something with the prom of the cram school kids going to the monastery yukio and rin were raised for a mission? like lets pretend lighting never went or smth

Thanks for the prompt! I'm sorry it took me a while to answer it. It took me a while to think of a good story to go with it.

I'm not quite sure this is the sort of thing you were wanting (feel free to let me know if you wanted something a little different), but it's the cram group getting an assignment to go to the Monastery, and Rin working through some things (not particularly well) and dealing with having to see the place Shirou died again.

Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and mentions of Shirou's death. No ships, but could be bonrin if you want it.

————— “Nagatomo will be your lead.” Tsubaki snapped his file shut, gave his head a short nod, and turned to exit the room.

“Uh,” Yukio stepped forward, stopping Tsubaki’s exit. Rin watched him in mild confusion, not understanding Yukio looked so tense. It was just a report of a few lowly dog ghouls. It was something they could easily handle. Honestly, it was probably a bit beneath their current skills.

“Did you say Nagatomo?”

Tsubaki nodded. Yukio adjusted his glasses and nodded. “Of the Southern Cross Monastery?”

Rin’s tail abruptly went straight in the air as he realized the glaringly obvious. Of course they were part of True Cross. Of course that was the Nagatomo that they were talking about. Of course it was the group having a problem with ghoul dogs. Rin had been attacked by dozens of those things on his dash back to the Monastery with Shirou.

“Yes. Is… is that going to be a problem?”

“No, sir. Not at all.” Yukio held his and out for the file with the politest of smiles. Rin could feel the other exwires, all of their friends, watching Yukio, and he could feel his own expression was one of utter shock.

Tsubaki left and Rin moved up to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Yukio so he could peer at the file.

A picture of the Monastery they’d grown up in decorated the front of the report. Rin raised his eyes and shared a thoroughly concerned look with his twin.

“Right,” Yukio swallowed, forced a smile, and regarded the rest of the exwires, “everyone, gather your gear. We’ll be leaving in an hour.”

Ryuuji, unsurprisingly, was the one that asked the question. “Everything okay?”

Yukio’s smile widened, and looked all the crazier for the motion. “Of course. We’ll meet by the front gates.”

A beat passed, and then another, but finally the exwires left them alone. Yukio’s smile vanished as his eyes dropped back to the file.

“They’re okay?”

“Probably. They’re high enough in the order that ghouls of any sort wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Good. Then… it’s not like they’ll need to see the whole place. They probably won’t need to go past the offices. Hell, they may not even hafta go in at all.”

“Of course,” Yukio murmured. He didn’t look at all convinced.

—————

It wasn’t that Rin didn’t want his friends to know about the place he was raised it was just… well, a lot of things.

He hadn’t seen any of them since he left for True Cross. Since the funeral and every horrible thing around it. His friends didn’t know a lot about his childhood, and most of those memories were embarrassing or bittersweet.

He’d sworn he wouldn’t go back until he’d defeated Satan. He’d promised himself he would avenge his father, and only then would he be able to go back without drowning in guilt.

But… mostly, he didn’t want to face the sanctuary again. They’d have repaired it by now, but it wouldn’t erase the memory of what it was.

Going back now would feel like a failure.

Rin didn’t know if Yukio felt the same way, but he did know Yukio did not like the idea of the exwires seeing where they grew up. It was the same reason he still went tense when they had a shared meal together. Yukio would probably always feel the need to stay at least a little apart from all of them.

It still meant they were both sitting at the front of the car, shoulder to shoulder, quietly murmuring about the ‘plan’ when they arrived.

“I’ll handle the introductions. If we’re formal, they should follow that lead. They know we’re all professionals.”

“Yeah,” Rin was not convinced, but he could feel Ryuuji, Renzou, and Konekomaru watching them like hawks. Shiemi had Izumo distracted, or they’d be staring too.

“We’ll get the information we need, and we’ll leave.”

At least Shura wasn’t here so she couldn’t out rank him and draw the whole thing out. Because she absolutely would if she thought Yukio was embarrassed.

“Just don’t act odd.”

“We’re already acting odd.”

Yukio immediately glared at him. Rin grinned, and tried to remind himself that the last thing Nagatomo had said to him was that he was always welcomed back. He was stronger than when he left. Maybe… maybe they’d be waiting outside and he wouldn’t have to go in. Maybe… maybe he could keep his promise to himself.

—————

They were all out front. Nagatomo, as the head priest, was the only one they had to meet. The others should be going about their business, but they weren’t. They were waiting for them to arrive.

“Rin! Yukio!” They were immediately waiving like wild as if Rin or Yukio might miss them. It made him immediately blush and duck his head. Tadashi ran the fastest and grabbed them both in a hug before they could even reach the gate.

“Hey,” Rin choked as Naoya joined the hug. Izumi and Maruta stood in the doorway to the Sanctuary, both laughing as Naoya messed up their hair.

“Stop!” Yukio sputtered. “We’re here on business!”

Rin could hear someone snickering behind them.

“Let them breathe,” Seishiro called with his own laugh. “And at least introduce yourself the others.” He tugged the gate open, walked past Rin and Yukio with an affectionate pat to their shoulders, and moved on towards the rest of the exwires. He introduced himself and asked for their names in turn.

Rin finally broke free and stepped back as Seishiro motioned for them to go up to the monastery.

“Uh,” he sputtered, suddenly terrified, “shouldn’t we just, uh, go to the office? Get the info and stuff?” He could see into the sanctuary from the open door, not clearly enough to make the details out, but enough to feel like he was going to throw up the sandwich he’d eaten on the way over.

Tadashi let Yukio go. “Would the kitchen be more comfortable? We have coffee and tea?”

Rin could get to the kitchen without going through the sanctuary. He could just go in the side entrance.

“That will be acceptable.” Yukio, having also freed himself, fixed his glasses and tie, “we’ll convene inside. The report mentioned ghouls?”

Seishiro nodded as Yukio started up the steps. Rin took a nervous step back, and bumped right into Ryuuij.

Rin forced a huge smile, stepped away from Ryuuji, and almost bumped Shiemi. “Kitchen?” he managed hoarsley, “right.” Without waiting or saying anything else, he dashed like an entirely crazy person and ran for the side entrance. He reached it a moment later, tugged the door open (it wasn’t locked, why wasn’t it locked?) and stepped into the hall.

It still smelled the same, and Rin hadn’t even realized the place had a smell, but it hit him, like a brick to the face. It was enveloping, familiar, and it was enough to instantly make his throat thick.

“Yes, uh, we can go this way?” Rin jumped, just a little, as Seishiro came up behind him with the rest of the exwires. Yukio shoved his way to the front and stepped in next to Rin.

“Why the hallway?” Yukio muttered as he continued past him towards the kitchen. Rin, too thrown off by the scent of home and the sounds (had it always been this noisy? He could hear pipes, creaking, the hissing of all those candles, things settling, and the quiet shuffle of familiars at the other side of the Monastery.)

Rin didn’t get what he meant until Shiemi had shuffled past him as well and gasped. “Oh! Look how little you two were!”

Izumo and Renzou immediately joined her to peer at the pictures lining the wall. Konekomaru and Ryuuji did as well, at a far less eager pace. Yukio’s eyes went wide and shot to Rin like he was the reason they were seeing them.

Rin didn’t care about the pictures. He cared a lot about the door at the left of the hall.

It was just a picture of their first school year. He could see Shirou kneeling next to him, and they were all smiling. They were happy and together.

The crackling of the candles seemed to get louder.

“Did you make the lunches?” Ryuuji motioned towards the photo and grinned back at him.

Rin squinted, and yeah, he’d made their lunches for that day with only a little help from Shirou, and he’d been super proud of himself. Probably why he was holding his bento box with a huge smile and looked like he thought it was the most impressive thing ever.

“Yep!”

Ryuuji gave his head a fond shake. “Course ya did.”

The pictures were helpful in that they at least distracted everyone from the sanctuary and whatever else might have happened here. Rin was able to laugh about the numerous pictures, he got to see Yukio blush, the priests all grin and laugh as they pointed out the most embarrassing photos, and he got to urge them towards the kitchen without seeming weird. He could just act embarrassed about the pictures.

There was indeed tea and coffee set out, and a few cookies. Rin gave it a look over and tried not to stare too hard at the actual kitchen. It didn’t look right without Shirou leaning on the counter, trying to steal bites and teasing him about his lack of a social life.

He had one now. Shirou would still have been teasing him about them. He’d have given them one look and probably beamed, punched Rin’s shoulder, and asked him something embarrassing.

Rin grabbed one of the teas — the coffee was too bitter for his demonic taste buds — and added a generous helping of sugar before taking a seat at the table. Shiemi sat next to him (coffee with more cream than coffee), and Ryuuji did as well (tea, no sugar.)

“They’re coming at night, obviously,” Seishiro explained once everyone was sitting comfortably. “They haven’t done anything violent, yet, but we suspect that’s because they can’t actually get in. The ghouls in and of themselves would be a problem, we’re capable of dispelling them. No, the problem is the quantity. They’re gaining at least five a night.”

“At least?” Yukio asked, “What’s the largest increase you’ve seen?”

“Twelve.”

“The neighborhood pets are starting to disappear as well.” Tadashi added.

“Pet’s? It ain’t just dogs?” That seemed weird.

Seishiro nodded. Izumo and Konekomaru covered their mouth and Rin felt grateful he’d left Kuro at home. Better to be safe.

“Where are they attacking?”

Rin stared down at his cup as the others continued to talk, and tried not to think about how wrong their voices all sounded without Shirou’s mingled in. Even the tea didn’t quite look right. Shirou always over steeped it. He insisted he got more caffeine that way.

Ryuuji poked his arm. It was subtle enough of a motion that no one else would notice it. Rin blinked, offered a smile, and took too big of a drink of his tea.

Yukio was staring at him with a worried frown. Rin didn’t look at Ryuuji or the others. He was pretty sure Yukio wasn’t the only one staring.

—————

Rin actually did a pretty bang up job of avoiding the whole thing for most of the day. There were plenty of little things to distract the others with whenever the sanctuary or childhood was brought up. Despite how nosey his friends could be, they also knew some of the story and were kind enough not to poke at that particular and obvious wound. No one knew just how Shirou had died, but they knew he’d died here, and that Rin had seen it happen.

So Rin avoided the sanctuary, he volunteered to patrol the front yard at night, and he changed the subject whenever it seemed like he might have to leave the kitchen.

The others could tell something was up. Yukio had probably known the minute he got to the gate, the Ryuuji by the time they were drinking tea, Shiemi when he told her to go explore by herself, and the others after he refused to leave the kitchen after the third time it was brought up.

It came to a head when Tadashi started on dinner.

“You don’t need any help?” Yukio asked in a falsely polite way that let Rin immediately know he had soemthing else in mind than dinner.

Tadashi confirmed he didn’t need help.

“Wonderful, we’ll just check the seals around the windows then.” Yukio snagged his elbow. “Rin?”

“Nah, I think I’mma stay and —”

“Rin,” Yukio’s pitch lowered into an order, “we have to—” he tugged Rom towards the sanctuary door, and it wasn’t like Yukio could make him move, but the panic of it happening surged up his throat, choking him until he couldn’t breathe past it.

The flames came unbidden. They surged over his entire body until all he could see were flames. Someone yelled, and Rin jerked free. He stumbled back, dousing the flames, blinking the bright spot in his vision away.

The priests looked terrified.

Rin turned on his heel and ran.

—————

It took ten or so minutes for someone to find him. He wasn’t that surprised it happened, but he was surprised it was Ryuuji.

Ryuuji sat on the swing next to him without a word and passed him a marble soda.

“How’d ya find me?”

He smiled a little. “I asked Yukio. He gave me a few suggestions. We split them down the middle. Figured this one made the most sense so I started with it.” He typed something out as he spoke. Probably a message to Yukio.

Rin popped his top and took a long swig. He didn’t really know why Ryuuji would seek him out. Especially after he’d flamed up like an idiot.

Ryuuji sent the message and stuffed his phone in his pocket. “You’re upset?”

“Gee,” Rin muttered, “What gave it away? The flames?”

Ryuuji rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna let that go ‘cause you’re upset. But watch it.” He opened his own drink and took a sip. “Did you make a promise?”

Rin swallowed the soda and found his mouth felt dryer than it had before he drank the soda. “Huh?”

Ryuuji pushed back in the swing to stretch his long legs. “After everything went down, did you make a promise to yourself?”

Rin fiddled with his bottle. “Why?”

“‘Cause I did. With Kyoto? Swore I wouldn’t go back until I’d proved them wrong. Until I was strong enough to fight and lead and rebuild it all.”

Oh. Wow. He hadn’t known that. It made sense, but he’d never thought of it. The first time at Kyoto had mostly been a tense blur. Everyone had been so tense, but…

He probably wasn’t the only reason for that. He’d been too stuck in his own head to consider that they might be upset about other things. They’d had a lot to be upset about.

Rin took another drink. “No matter you were so pissed.”

Ryuuji almost smiled as he rocked forward on the swing. “Yeah, it was a shitty couple of weeks.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It worked out,” Ryuuji stated. Rin gave him a long look. “Eventually,” he conceded with a poorly hidden smile.

Rin didn’t hide his own smile. He just leaned back in his own swing and stared up at the clouds. Ryuuji didn’t try to continue the conversation. He simply continued to swing and sip his tea until Rin broke the silence again.

“It happened here.” Rin’s hands tightened around the chains. “In the sanctuary.”

Ryuuji kept swinging, and Rin was grateful for that. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It wrecked the entire thing. The first guy tore through the seals and gate, and then Satan just… fucked up the Sanctuary. Opened a gate. Right in the middle of the crossing. Broke the lectern and pulpit. Ripped up the floor and smashed most of the pews.”

Rin tried very hard not to remember the way it had looked, and failed entirely. He could smell the blood and hear the cracking of the wood as it had burned. The memory consumed him as his swing stilled.

Ryuuji reached across the space between them and pinched his wrist. Hard.

“Ow! What the hell?!”

“Looked like you were remembering some shit.” Ryuuji shrugged. “That kinda memory isn’t gonna do you any favors.”

“Forgetting it seems like a bad idea.”

“I didn’t say forget it, but you shouldn’t just dwell on it. You’ll get caught up in the memory and miss the now.”

Rin stopped swinging and crossed his arms over his chest. “Will not.”

“Then why are we out here when they’re serving dinner?” Ryuuji kept swinging and staring at the monastery’s windows in the distance. The stained-glass was glowing from the inside lights and just looked like a colorful blur. A warm, colorful blur. Welcoming. It always had been. Even after everything he’d done.

“I swore I wouldn’t come back until I killed him.”

Ryuuji’s swing stilled.

“I swore I’d make him pay, and then I’d come back. And now I’m back, and he’s still out there. Still ruining lives.” The tears pricked at his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. “I promised and I failed.” Just like he had that night. He always failed.

“You didn’t fail. You’re not coming back. Not really.”

“But I did. And I just…” Rin shook his head with frustration at himself. “I failed that night, and I failed now. I haven’t gotten any closer to killing that bastard.” The angry tears were getting harder to hold in. They were threatening to spill over at any moment and he didn’t want to cry in front of Ryuuji.

“That’s not even remotely true.”

“And every time I go in there, I just, all I can see is the gate and —”

“Then don’t go back in.”

“What?”

“There’s a lot of the monastery. Don’t go back in the Sanctuary. We don’t all have to go in there. There isn’t any reason for that. We’ll be able to finish the ghouls tonight. We’ll go home tomorrow, and we’ll keep getting stronger. Then when you come back, and I mean really come back, you can come back the way you want.”

Ryuuji got up off the swing as he spoke, determination making him look almost angry, though anger seemed to be what his expression defaulted to. He turned on Rin, suddenly shoving his hand forward and motioning for Rin to take it. “Come on,” he added, “we’re gonna get our dinner, keep a wide berth to the sanctuary, and we’re gonna go over the ghoul information Yukio kept trying to tell you about on the train.”

Rin, with an overly dramatic groan, accepted the hand and let Ryuuji pull him out of the swing. “Fine, but I ain’t promisin’ I’ll remember any of it.”

Ryuuji laughed and shoved him towards the monastery. “That’s why I’m on the team. You’re just here to burn and stab shit.”

“Hey!”

With another laugh, Ryuuji dashed towards the building, and Rin followed after him, feeling almost like he could laugh himself.

One day he’d come back here for real, but in the meantime, he was grateful for the people he’d brought with him.

[ash-rabbit]

Reading Recs for Each Entity

When Magnus ended, I thought back on different media that I've enjoyed, some of them fit very neatly into the dread powers, unsettlingly so in some cases, others not so much. If you enjoyed the show for it's horror, and want more of that, then I've got a list for you.

Assume everything here is rated M and has some gore, death, and general dark themes.

Beneath the cut, because there's 15 of these fears. Feel free to add on if you like. By the way, I'm citing writers, not directors when there's a movie.

Beholding

1984 - by George Orwell: Classic surveillance society. Very boring to start off with classical lit, but it was and still is a relevant commentary on society.

Psycho-Pass - by Gen Urobuchi: Has anyone read Hobbes' 'Leviathan'? It's like if that met psychological horror. This anime engages in what it means to live in a world where crimes can be stopped before their ever committed due to the Psycho-Pass system. This system allows authorities to monitor ones emotional state and likelihood of turning violent. I think there's a brief mention of sexual violence, but it's been a hot minute since I've watched.

Panopticon Theory - by Michel Foucault: Yes, political theory. I've read it multiple times (not by choice) and it offers some interesting insights into the world of the Magnus Archives. It's greatly influenced how I regard the dread powers, that being that Smirke's 14 is incredibly limiting.

Buried

Nutty Putty Caving Incident - A real life news story. The only time I can say I've felt properly horrified and deeply unsettled. If 'Lost John's Cave' was the statement that gave you nightmares, avoid this. It's true and it's tragic.

Corruption

Fate/Zero - by Gen Urobuchi: Another anime by the Urobutcher. If you thought Jane Prentiss was excellent this is the show for you. It's excellent for all sorts of reasons, and engages with other avenues of horror but when I heard the Prentiss statement, I was brought back here. Living hives, magical evil wasp larvae writhing beneath someone's skin, it happens. Your warning is that anything bad that can happen to a child, will happen to children here. I mean it.

The Picture of Dorian Gray - by Oscar Wilde: Moral decay, and it's just a damn good read. It's not conventional Corruption material, but the corruption of one's soul in the pursuit of beauty and pleasure is somewhat fitting I should think. I like it, so it's here. Also Jonah Magnus vibes.

Dark

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - by a bunch of people: it's a movie. Not an orthodox choice but I feel the dark deals better in ignorance then the literal. Err, no spoilers, but nothing particularly bad happens, it just sort of tugs.

The Flowers - Alice Walker: A short story about innocence and ignorance. Not particularly spooky, but it hits you at the end.

Allegory of the Cave - Plato: Just a good preliminary reading that provides an alternate lens. It's not spooky, I just like it.

Desolation

All is Quiet on the Western Front - by Erich Maria Remarque: The effects of war on the youth, child soldiers, and the death of innocence. It's bleak, and miserable, but it's honest and Remarque and his family were persecuted by Nazi-Germany because the book carried 'anti-german' (anti-war) sentiments. There's a movie as well.

Pan's Labyrinth - by Guillermo del Toro: Also anti-war, with bad things happening to good people and children. A bit heavy handed with it's symbolism, but hey it's a two hour movie. Also be prepared to read subtitles. It's very good, and if you haven't seen it, I don't want to say too much.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - by Ken Kesey: There's a more popular movie version as well. Corrupt systems, cutting people down until they fit into a socially appropriate mold. It's fairly dark, and has lobotomies since that was what, the 60s? I watched this in my catholic high schools film studies class, so I don't think there's anything overly egregious. But an interesting lens for the Desolation.

The Count of Monte Cristo - by Alexandre Dumas: For a fun revenge romp. The titular count gets his revenge after everything he's ever loved has been stolen from him and looks to do the same to his betrayers. Err sexual violence happens here as well. A bit of background that might inform the reader: Dumas' father was half black and affected by the 1802 discrimination laws, causing him- a high ranking military officer to be dismissed. The precursor to Monte Cristo, 'Georges' deals more heavily in themes of colonialism and racial discrimination.

End

Masque of the Red Death - by Edgar Allen Poe: You know why this is here. Warning for plague allegories and people not properly social distancing.

Nothing in the Dark - (Twilight Zone): No words needed, it's the Twilight Zone.

Death Parade - by Yuzuru Tachikawa: This is your fun suggestion. It's light for the most part, but there are scenes and moments that will absolutely hit you.

Extinction

Godzilla - A whole bunch of people: Atomic bomb fear during a time of censorship. Everything is an allegory.

Flesh

Tokyo Ghoul - by Sui Ishida: It's the most Magnus-y out of all my suggestions and I desperately want to see a crossover between them. The manga is better as the anime tends to brutalise plot points and water down the horror. Deals with becoming a cannibal, the nature of humanity, and other things. Warning for mentions of child abuse. Kaneki has a sort of - if Martin was the Archivist vibes. Not 1-1 of course, but if I had to make a comparison, that's the one.

Lamb to the Slaughter - by Roald Dahl: Arguably more slaughter, but hey I'm not giving you any warnings. I read this short story for ninth grade english, so I'm sure you can survive this one.

Hunt

Se7en - by Andrew Kevin Walker: A movie about a detective hunting serial killer. It's excellent, there's gruesome murder scenes. It's from the 90s go watch it.

Frankenstein - by Mary Shelley: From the perspective of Mr. Frankenstein it's the terror of being hunted, from the monster's perspective it's the horror of being alone. It's good, a pillar of sci-fi written by a teenager, don't snub this because it's classical lit.

The Bone Collector - by Jeremy Iacone: Another detective hunting a murderer. Also from the 90s and also excellent. Look, the 90s don't pull their punches, it's got blood and lots of it. A favourite film of mine.

Lonely

The Metamorphosis - by Franz Kafka: Turning into a big bug does not a corruption/flesh story make.

Passengers (2016)- by Jon Spaihts: I hate this movie, it's clearly a horror, but they try to pass it as a romance. Anyway, for psychological lonely horror and manipulation, this is a movie for you.

Slaughter

Go watch a classic slasher film. I don't care for senseless violence, so I don't like most of this sort of media.

Read up on a war or a riot. Learn how your nation's government discriminates and persecutes minorities historically and today.

Sweeney Todd - by Hugh Wheeler: The musical is the better known version. Some flesh horror here as well. It's not really senseless, as I think the Slaughter should be, but hey, we need substance here.

Spiral

The Giver - by Lois Lowry: A utopia that is not quite right. Read for school when I was nine, I'm sure you can all live without a warning list.

The Matrix - by the Wachowskis: Reality is an illusion, and the Universe is a hologram.

Truman Show - by Andrew Niccol: You know why this is here.

Stranger

Coraline - by Neil Gaiman: The scariest children's book. Other!Mother and all that jazz are so very Strange.

The Landlady - by Roald Dahl: Taxidermy.

Vast

Lovecraft: I'm sorry, I can only think of him. No one else is so ignorant as to be able to capture the horror of things beyond their ken.

Web

Medea - by Euripides: The God's suck, it's a Greek tragedy, bad things happen to everyone without discrimination. Children are harmed, Medea is dosed by Aphrodite, Jason is literally the worst.

Animal Farm - by George Orwell: It's anti-authoritarian and deals with the mutability of laws and how uneducated masses are sheep. . . literally. You will feel horrified, it's a short read.

There's also some children's story about a spider/snake(?) and gluttony that I've been looking for, for the past year. It's pretty similar to Mr. Spider, but the villain consumes so many victims that he becomes too large to leave his den and is blockaded in by those he terrorized, and it's heavily implied that he starves to death. For the life of me I can't remember a title, but then, it's been 15 or so years.