#yes i started watching apothecary diaries

[peanutable]

Oh i missed tag games <3 (Heyy Vin! 👋)

Favourite Colour: Yellow and orange!

Currently Reading: I started reading "Berserk" some months ago and it's amazing!

Last Song: idk, some j-pop anime opening or Porter Robinson lol

Last Movie: either "The Boy and the Heron" or "I saw the TV glow", very different vibes but i don't remember which was the last one i watch (they're both great tho!)

Last Series: "Asterix: the big fight" and the current animes airing: "Black Butler" new arc, "The apothecary diaries" and "Anne Shirley" (Yes, i love animes/mangas as you can tell lol)

Sweet//Salty//Savory: I think it's sweet first, but salty comes close

Tea or Coffee: Neither? I like tea but i rarely drink any, except if you put iced tea in it lol And I don't like coffee. But if we're talking about hot drinks, i'm a hot chocolate type of girl, the invisible third option!

Working on: Not much, I didn't draw a lot recently, maybe i'll doodle a little this weekend! 🤞

Tagging cool people >>> @arrietty-rune @rileylastname @just-jayy @naryu-n @eroshiyda @advanced-dawn (only if you want to do it of course, no pressure!)

Nine People I Wish I Knew Better

i've never gotten tagged in these before, it's kinda exciting :D -> and so a very special thanks to: @rose-margaritas n @robyngoesrogue

Favorite Colour: green!!! or grey, or sage

Currently Reading: Like We're Gonna Die Young (Again) by RoseGanymede95 [go read it, it's amazing >:3c]

Last Song: E.T. by Katie Perry

Last Film: i don't really watch movies that often, so i couldn't say ^óWo^ |u u |__

Last Series: last one i watched all the way through was Étoile, and i'm currently debating watching Red, White, and Royal Blue :3

Sweet//Salty//Savory: i prefer more savory things, but my drinks are sweet enough to give ya cavities hehe

Tea or Coffee?: my sociology teacher told me that if i replaced all the coffee i drank with hard drugs i'd have a serious addiction problem

Working On: ooh... so much actually.. so so much. i've got a post-canon Étoile fic i've gotten like- halfway through [featuring jayenne AND gabias] a pokemon Étoile au [bc i love pokemon] a stobotnik fic i'm struggling with, two wbk fics, a link click fic i'm stuck on, QUITE a few polychampions fics, annnd a few more in the beginning stages of fleshing ;3

Tagging [i hope it's not a bother]: @sun-shine-lolli-pops @noteofjoy @technically-human @justcallmeemily @littlepocketuniverse @zephie-zee @candy-coated-eyes @notthemonthbutmarch @starguardianniom

[captainkirkk]

Maomao slaps a lady-in-waiting and brings her to tears for accidentally poisoning the concubine she serves, AND tells said concubine how to give the emperor a boobjob all in the space of one episode. No wonder Jinshi is obsessed with her. I'M obsessed with her.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Touching kny men's frogs by accident

Pairings: Sanemi x fem!reader; Giyu x fem!reader; Rengoku x fem!reader; bonus: Tengen x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,7k

Warnings: Not smut but it's getting heated y'all, heavy inspiration from apothecary diaries hehehehe, enjoy babes

I didn't feel like writing for quite some time and would totally appreciate you showing some love and support 🤍

Sanemi Shinazugawa

“I can’t fucking stand you”, you hiss through gritted teeth, body feeling like exploding any given minute.

Out of all the people around you, why does it always have to be him you’re assigned with? Why not Giyu, why not Rengoku? No, it’s always the asshole himself, the devil in person.

“Join the club. I can’t stand you either, but at least I’m having fun with it”, he jeers back, the veins on his forehead almost popping.

If there’s one thing he hates more than anything else on this planet, it has to be you. Sanemi’s eyes glare you up and down as you walk in front of him, feet stomping onto the ground demonstratively while you make your way to the mansion you were assigned to.

No, that’s not true. If there’s one thing he hates more than anything else on this planet, it has to be that you hate him.

“Let’s just get this shitty mission over with”, you mumble under your breath.

Fuck, you’re almost able to feel his gaze burning through your back while it takes all your focus not to trip like an idiot. You hate to admit it, hate to even think about it, but somehow…

Why does the way he holds his sword have to be so damn attractive? Why does his voice force your heart to skip a beat, your knees to feel oh so weak? Why does it have to be him, the guy who hates you more than anyone else? You’re nothing but a fool for falling for him so hard. God, you really need to pull yourself together. Maybe telling yourself over and over that you hate him as well will finally force some sense back into your brain.

Will it? Or maybe, just maybe telling him about those things might help. Maybe you need to get this off your chest, maybe you need to feel him rejecting you to finally move on. You clench your hands into tight fists, heartbeat picking up in an instant. Yes, you just have to do this. There’s no way you’ll be able to act like that forever. And after that, after he rejected you like the asshole he is, you’ll definitely be able to hate him like you’re supposed to.

“Sanemi, I really have to-“

But just when your courage took over, you aren’t able to complete your sentence. A pair of razor-sharp teeth shoots just barely past your throat. An animal? A demon? You didn’t even realize that the sun is already fully set, didn’t even hear this lower-ranked demon coming. A dangerous mistake that right now, might cost your life.

“Watch out!”, Sanemi cries out behind you.

Images start to blur and overlap, you feel your body falling towards the cold hard ground. Are you dead, injured? Time seems to stand still, the only thing you’re able to do is pressing your eyes shut.

Until you land.

Softly.

“(y/n)…”

You clench your hands even harder, body not able to comprehend what just happened. You were on your way to the ground, without any doubt. How is it possible that you landed so softly? Did the demon eat you, eventually?

“Can you just…stop?”

“Sanemi?”

Immediately, your eyes dart towards the sound of his whiny voice.

Underneath you.

Sanemi Shinazugawa is lying under your very own body, trapped between your legs, kept in place by your hand.

Your hand…What is that soft feeling? A frog, maybe? You squeeze a little tighter. To be honest, you never really touched a frog-

“(y/n)!”, Sanemi cries your name in a way he’s never done before, his cheeks so bright red that it leaves worry lines all over your face.

“Did you catch a fever? No wonder considering that cold wind you’ve made earlier while training. I told you over and over that-“

“Your hand”, Sanemi presses out.

“Remove your fucking hand.”

Your hand? You shake your head in sheer confusion. What on earth does this have to do with your hand?

While one of your palms rests flat against the cool ground, the other still holds onto that squishy but somehow comforting thing. Your eyes wander down your own arm, searching for what might be a frog.

You swallow hard, hand snapping away in an instant.

God, you want to die. Right here on the spot. Without any last words.

Is this really, did you really touch him…there?

“It wasn’t a frog”, you mutter in sheer horror while lifting yourself off the boy underneath you.

“A frog!?”

“I…I thought this was a frog! Why didn’t you tell me earlier that I…that I touched you there!?”, you cry out in nothing but horror.

“Why the hell did you think it was a frog, idiot? I definitely don’t feel like a frog”, Sanemi gives back while grabbing your arm.

“And stop wiping your fucking hand like you just touched something dirty!”

“I…I need to go now”, you announce in a haste.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You really touched Sanemi down there. Sanemi Shinazugawa, the boy you always hated. No, the boy you secretly love.

And that’s definitely worse.

“Stay right where you are, (y/n)…We…We still have this stupid mission going and I don’t wanna get scolded by Shinobu for scaring you away”, the white-haired man mumbles, the pressure he puts on your wrist now becoming more gentle.

“Right.”

Get yourself together. Acting like a dumb teenager doesn’t help the situation either. As if nothing happened, you straighten your shoulders and start walking towards the estate again.

An uneasy silence begins settling between both of you, Sanemi just strolling by your side without even looking your way. Fuck, this is so awkward and strange. What are you supposed to do? Not saying a word until the mission is over, talking about the weather?

“Thank you for saving me from that demon earlier”, you blurt out without thinking twice.

“I’m still not over the fact that you called me a frog…”, he mumbles while shaking his head.

“What else was I supposed to say? I really thought it was a frog!”, you try to defend yourself.

In the split of a second, you find yourself pinned against a nearby tree.

“A frog, huh? No problem, I’m gonna show you it’s anything but a frog”, he hisses though gritted teeth.

„S-show me what?“

Giyu Tomioka

„You need to listen to your surroundings. The only thing you’re fighting with are your eyes”, Giyu explains briefly while putting a blindfold over your eyes.

Word of protest get stuck in your throat. No, it took you way too long to convince the water hashira to train you. To be exact, a couple of letters from Sakonji and you begging on your knees. You’ll definitely won’t risk him turning his back on you again over something as stupid as a blindfold.

“You need to focus on your other senses as well.”

Like the sound of his calm voice that makes your heart skip a beat? Or the faint smell of grapes that sticks to his clothes and tingles your nose?

“I said focus”, he warns you.

You blink into the darkness and straighten your shoulders. He’s right. You’re here to get trained by the water hashira and not to pine after him. You have to prove yourself. You have to show him you’re worthy of his time.

“Go.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice. With a swift motion you dart forwards, follow the sound of his steps. You furrow your eyebrows while desperately trying to focus on the ever so slightly crush of branches underneath his feet, your bare skin eager to feel the tiniest brush of wind.

But before you’re even able to detect him, you feel his hand roughly slapping the back of your head.

“You’re not trying good enough”, he comments calmly.

That’s it, the moment you’ve been waiting for. You turn around as fast as possible, your arm on its way to hit him.

Now you have Giyu, now you’re finally able to strike back.

Your hands hold onto something when he forces you around swiftly.

And then you hit the ground.

“What the hell was that?”, you bark while yanking away that stupid blindfold.

But when your eyes meet his, your breath gets stuck in your throat.

“Giyu? Are you…alright?”

His cheeks are bright red, a thin coat of sweat covering his forehead while he stares at you with widened eyes. What is going on? Is there something behind both of you?

“(y/n)…”

He breathes out your name like a prayer, a minor whimper escapes his oh so beautiful lips.

“Hey, your worrying me. What’s going on?”, you question, eyes scanning him up and down.

Until your gaze wanders to your very own hand.

That rest just where his private parts are.

“Oh!”

Immediately, you stumble backwards while wiping your hand against your uniform like the idiot you are. How the hell did you not realize that you were touching him there?

“I-I…I’m so s-sorry! It wasn’t on purpose!”, you cry out immediately.

You’re screwed. What if Giyu thinks you’re a disgusting freak, a pervert? You never touched a man like that in your entire life, never knew what it would feel like. But…you never imagined it to feel this big. No wonder though, Giyu definitely seems like the kind of guy who keeps his secrets to himself.

“(y/n), can you…stop staring at me like that?”, he mumbles.

Your dirty eyes widen when you start to notice that you were still staring at his pants.

“I’m so sorry!”

“I think I need to go for a few minutes”, he announces awkwardly while getting up.

“What? Please don’t leave, I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself! I will be more careful, I will make sure something like this n-“

“(y/n), please just stop talking. I need to calm down. Now excuse me.”

“But Giyu, please don’t leave me hanging! I don’t want us to stop training, there’s still so much you need to teach me-“

“I need a couple of minutes to…take care of something.”

“To take care of something?”, you repeat visibly confused.

What on earth does he have to take care of now? His very own hand wanders to his pants, adjusting what looks like a visible bump.

A bump.

You swallow hard.

“Oh.”

Instinctively, you turn around, your cheeks now bright red.

“O-okay. Got it. Sorry”, you mutter.

Kyojuro Rengoku

“(y/n), stay by my side!”, Kyojuro instructs you while dashing down the dark forest.

Your heart pumps rapidly, mouth already tasting like iron. To be honest, you are exhausted. Exhausted of running, exhausted of fighting, exhausted of this cruel night. What time is it? When will the sun finally rise again? The only thing that keeps you going is him. The man who runs in front of you and shields you from demon attacks as often as possible.

Him, Kyojuro Rengoku.

“I can’t do this anymore”, you mutter when your sight already starts to get foggy.

Kyojuro turns around, eyes springing back and forth between you and the army of demon who dash behind both of you.

What now? He can’t watch out for you while killing off all those demons. No, he’s forced to wait until help arrives. Otherwise, you might get hurt. Or even worse…

He shakes his head ever so slightly, eyes focusing on what’s in front of him. Kyojuro was never the type to hide like a coward, but right now, this might be your only chance.

“Follow me.”

Gently, he grabs your hand and drags you behind him, dashing towards what looks like a small cottage at neck-breaking speed.

“Kyojuro, what are you doing?”, you question in sheer confusion.

He managed to leave all those demons behind, now running straight towards the cottage in front of them. What is his plan?

“We will hide until help arrives”, he explains briefly.

With a swift motion, he opens and closes the door behind your trembling figure, eyes darting around the room without a real aim.

Until they land on a closet.

“Hiding? But-“

“I’m sure Uzui will arrive within the next few minutes. But with you injured like this and countless demons chasing after us, I’m not able to defeat them by myself while still making sure you’re fine”, he explains briefly while gently shoving you into the closet.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat when he pushes himself inside next to you and closes the door, so close that you’re able to feel his breath tickling against your cheek.

“Thank you for thinking about me”, you breathe into the suddenly so private space.

“I always will, (y/n).”

A warm feeling spreads in your stomach as well as your now pounding heart. It’s hard not to fall for a perfect man like him. Him who engulfs you with the sheer heat of his body. Him, who has never been this close to you before. Him, the man you love since the first time you saw him.

Your feelings threaten to overpower you just like your dizziness. In the search for hold, you adjust your body in the tiny space, hands searching for support.

A minor whine fills the otherwise quiet place, coming straight from Kyojuro’s lips.

“Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself as well?”, you question, now pulled out of your trance.

You didn’t even have the time to think about Kyojuro with all those demons chasing after you. What if he got injured? How careless of you to not check on him sooner.

“No, it’s just…You’re squeezing my pelvic area”, he presses out.

“W-what?”, you shriek, instantly removing your hand.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought I was holding onto a knob!”, you try to explain in an instant.

“(y/n), you are killing me”, he suddenly mutters with unusual low voice.

“I do…what?”

In the matter of seconds, you find yourself trapped between his strong arms, the heat radiating from his body threatening to burn you alive while your glossy eyes stare at him through the darkness.

“I had my eyes on you for quite some time now. If I’m being honest, I developed feeling for you a long time ago.”

Feelings? Kyojuro Rengoku developed feelings? For you? You have to be dreaming, hallucinating due to blood loss. But the pressure of his hands against your back is real just like his breath that caresses your face gently.

“Kyojuro, I-“

You aren’t able to finish your sentence. The split of a second is all it takes for the doors of the closet to swing open.

“Now, look what we have here. Two lovebirds cramped into a tiny space with (y/n)’s hand…Oh, I might have interrupted something here”, Tengen jeers at both of you with a dirty smile plastered onto his face.

“Get away from here right now!”, you cry out along with slapping his shoulder roughly.

“Embarrassed because I caught you?”

“You didn’t catch us! This was…an accident.”

“And accident?”

“An accident”, Koyjuo confirms.

“You can’t fool me, lovebirds. But for now, let’s focus on those demons”, Tengen comments dryly while drawing his swords.

Bonus: Uzui Tengen

“You need to help me”, your beloved husband presses out through gritted teeth, his face twisted in pain.

“Yeah, sure I’ll do anything!”

You have to blink a few times against the wave of panic that threatens to take you over, Uzui’s blood sticking to your hands uncomfortably. You need to get yourself together, need to focus on helping your husband after this rough mission.

“Press your hand against my leg and stop the bleeding”, he chokes, his head now resting against the rough ground.

“Okay, I can totally do that!”, you mutter.

There’s no time to waste. As fast as possible, you press your trembling palm against the warmth of his body, your eyes scanning his face for any reaction when a sudden whimper escapes his lips.

“(y/n)…I always love when you touch me there, but right now, I need you to press your hand against my leg.”

“Oh!”

Immediately, you remove your hand from his groin and press it onto the gaping wound on his leg.

“I guess that was habit.”

"Well, now I'm horny and injured...", Tengen mumbles under his breath.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you like what I came up with <3

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @sugu-love @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san @kentocalls @barbuse @sunshine7queen @lavenderdrxp

@yaninnaacu @hopefulbelievertimemachine @laurencrsnt @sanemifucker @blunderland

[nashusglasses]

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

i finished s1 of apothecary diaries recently and for some reason high ranking military official!zayne x courtesan!mc will not leave my head!!! (>/////< " ) (cw: extreme yearning!!!!!!!! intimate kisses!!! this may or may not have been inspired by absolute zeal huehuehue)

he visits you once every two weeks. the attending staff like to tease you when he arrives (7pm sharp – no later, no earlier) by saying the prince has come to steal you away, and all you can do is roll your eyes. yes, he's devastatingly handsome and has some money to his name, but you can't imagine him buying you out of here anytime soon. you don't mind the job, anyway – you're paid to play chess, serve tea and the occasional glass of wine, stealing a kiss or two when they're drunk enough – and you refuse to imagine leaving your sisters behind.

zayne is different, though. he only requests tea (jasmine white, every time), requests exactly three games of chess, and always asks you to fill the silence with stories of the previous two weeks he'd missed.

one night, it changes.

zayne is fifteen minutes late.

you don't care for the schedule, but it's a change of pace you didn't know you'd kept. when he does finally come to your room, he is flushed straight down his neck, his uniform unkempt like he'd been clawing at the fabric.

when he sees the concern on your face, he has the decency to look sheepish. "i apologize," he breathes, then gulps. "i – the barracks had an impromptu party and i–"

"please," you interrupt. in the low light of oil-licked lamps, he calms. "you have no need to explain yourself. would you like to sit down?"

he gulps again. blinks stupidly for a quiet few seconds. a part of you wants to warn him the manager will probably charge him for the full two hours regardless of any excuses, but you don't think he can process anything in what seems to be an incredibly muddled brain.

you gently grab his arm, and he looks hypnotized.

"come. i'll make you tea," you say.

the next five minutes of crushing leaves and boiling water is hilariously silent. zayne's posture is sagged where he sits in front of the chess board, he's still blinking stupidly, and you already know the reason why. you smelled it the second you came within one metre of him.

"so did they force a cup of sake down your throat?" you tease, readying a small porcelain plate for the hot teacup on a serving tray. "or was this your own doing?"

he watches your careful steps toward him. keeps his hazy eyes on your form when you lean over to place the tea in front of him, and he's a second too late to ignore your tits. (you wear this low-hanging hanfu for a reason – and if your words aren't getting to him, he may as well use his sight to communicate. your game sense isn't the only thing that's keeping you in the highest ranks of courtesans.)

zayne licks his lips, then remembers himself. he immediately turns his attention on a high-point of the ceiling. you watch his ears turn sun-red in record time. "the former," he answers.

"i figured as much. let me put this tray away then we can get started. please don't burn your tongue."

he's already finished his cup when you come back to seat yourself in front of him.

"are you sure you're of the right mind?" you reassure him. "i wouldn't want you to waste your money on trivial conversation."

zayne almost looks offended. "no conversation with you is trivial."

oh. now you're burning up. "i understand. shall we play?"

he hardly sobers after your first game. he loses so spectacularly you'd thought he was teasing you when he let you take his bishop way too early in the game, but you realize he's just that drunk. you let up in the second match when you start to see him swaying in his spot.

"maybe we should stop for the night," you suggest. zayne ignores you, eyebrows furrowed with intent to continue, dangling a pawn over a column you know he's contemplating with zero strategy.

you stop him before he drops it down with a warm palm on his knuckles. he freezes. "i insist."

zayne looks at you, teary-eyed. you're almost tempted to smother him in your chest and croon. so you stand up, beckoning him over to your bed where he can relax.

he keeps a respectable distance from you at the edge of the mattress. but in the warmth of your pink blankets, all his harsh lines soften. underneath his uniform, you know he's made of hard muscle. trained strength. he could probably lift you with one finger.

he makes a strangled sound when you cup his face, tracing the thin skin of his cheek.

"you're safe here," you whisper. truthfully, you have no idea how to comfort him. all you can offer is another cup of tea, and you scold yourself for being such a terrible host.

zayne closes his eyes, then leans into your touch.

you stay still. he kisses your palm. you squeak.

"oh," you say.

zayne offers no explanation, waiting for you to retreat. inevitably, you are star-struck.

with his eyes still closed, he grabs hold of your arm, trailing a light kiss on your wrist, the inside of your elbow. the middle of your bicep. your shoulder.

he stops, and says: "may i please?"

the neurons in your brain are firing at sonic speed. you tingle where his lips rained. and because you are the most indulgent person in the world with a beautiful man in your bed, you nod. "you may."

he aims for your jaw but misses terribly. his kiss is wet on your chin, and you can't help but laugh. he smiles, hovering his mouth over yours. letting you take the lead.

you make him swallow your joy.

he is a pliant lover, tasting you only when you tongue at him first. he is so, so gentle. when you break for air, he pants.

"you have all of me," he whispers.

he yelps when you tackle him onto his back.

.

.

.

(later that night, your manager asks you how the hell you doubled your rate for your service. you shrug, wiping your bottom lip, savouring what you can.)

[kainabunny]

Hiii

*ahem*

Is this thing on?

We'll say yes for now

Hiya everyone! My name is Kainabunny, aka Kai. My online homies due call me bunny but I prefer Kai.

I am excited to be active here(tho won't lie my main social media is Blusky and Twitter.) I'm mainly on this platform due to recent projects I'm apart of sparking this new found fanbase.

I really hope you guys are OK with me. I'm still fairly new to tumblr. So learning...

I will say a little bit about me:

💙I am a she/her.

💜I love purple and blues a lot

💙I've been part of the MCRP space for 10+years, VA for 8+yrs, and an artist for 15+! (Yes I also draw cool right?!?!)

💜i have a morkie dog named Cookie.

💙I've adore playing video games(current fixation is Marvel Rivals) and watch anime(atm watching Apothecary Diaries and rewatching rise of the shield hero)

💜I'm part of a lot of projects with friends since I find a hard time to say no. But I always enjoyed a new adventure

I will say now I do have some boundaries. I will prioritize myself MCRP projects a little more since those are passion projects I enjoy. I will try to see all the fanart/comments/lore but if I know I'll miss a few so forgive me. I do want you guys to know me better but please try not to bombarded my personal YT channel with Femme questions... I won't reply to them and be hidden.

My channel is my hobby/experimental zone. I wanna just try new things or grow into a better creator. Which leads to my final statement (that I can think of)

Please please do not harass my friends about me or projects that I work for. Already know how bad fan harassment can be but I don't wanna see it start here and now. I wanna be able to enjoy this fanbase just as well as you are.

Sorry for the essay folks... I just wanted to get this clear as possible. Anyways glad to meet here and hope you enjoy my work!

[bitofmaehem]

Tag game time! :D

from @conscious-naivete ty ty :)

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

Last song: I Didn’t Use To by The Wrecks!! guys it’s such a good song, the whole ep is actually so so good I am begging everyone who sees this to go check them out. i might be a bit obsessed. but in my defense they’re SO GOOD

Last movie: uuhhhh tbh i’m not sure, i think it was Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again? i think. also a fantastic film, it’s one of my go-to comfort movies it’s just so fun

Last book: I’m putting two cause I just finished one and started another, but I just finished the Apothecary Diaries LN 13 (so good, can’t wait to read the next one) and I just started the 4th Thursday Murder Club book! Not really sure where it’s going yet, but I’m having a blast reading it!

Last tv show: … the apothecary diaries. guys it’s getting to one of my favorite parts i’m so excited

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Depends on my mood, but usually sweet or spicy

Relationship status: single (😔 but also :D \o/)

Last thing i googled: operation mincemeat musical, my friend just saw it and i got curious

Looking forward to: ummm not much atm… OH doing more pc research! I’m looking into building my own pc and i’m having so much fun planning it all out!

Recent obsession(s): guys. there’s too many. music wise -> the wrecks, the wldlfe, black pontiac, half•alive, plus a couple more but I’ll leave it at that :) been playing a ton of stardew in the past couple days experimenting with mods which has been SO much fun, the giggs REPO streams have been playing in the background of majority of my life recently, and of course, lots of time watching pc building and tips videos!

tagging: @a-chilly-pepper @ostewell @ohheyitsgray @i-maybe-exist @cozymagnolia @squirrelplus @hello-there-world @oh-itskitkat @sushirens and you 🫵 yes you

no pressure but yeee :))

[mapofsouthdakota]

Maps rambles (and writes) - Caleb in a the Apothecary diaries/Forbidden City AU

I should not have started watching Season 2 of The Apothecary Diaries this afternoon because my brain exploded—again.

Details: 550 words of AU doodle. We’re talking non-MC!Reader, inspired by Maomao (bless her introverted brilliance)—but instead of Jinshi, we’ve got General Caleb. Yes. That’s right. Just summon CNY Caleb and you’ve got it. Poll below! Please kill my creativity.

Story direction + vibes: kind of like court intrigue meets emotional damage, with hidden identities, war-touched childhoods, and slow-burn tension you could cut with a hairpin.

Reader (you) — The forgotten consort with a polyglot brain

Your backstory is a little fuzzy. Foreign parents. Stranded in the empire. Dead now.

You speak Italian(?), English, and Chinese (now), but belong nowhere in particular.

The court took you in when you were small. Not out of pity—more like, hmm, exotic, let’s stash her somewhere quiet and pretty.

So now you’re one of the low-ranked consorts. Pretty. Obedient. Boring.

Or at least, that’s what they think. What you actually are:

Dangerously observant.

Fluent in more than just words—you read power shifts, secret glances, and the silence between lines.

Quiet, yes. But because you’re busy listening. Watching. Remembering. Funny in your own way.

You’re the knife hidden in silk. The girl no one expected to matter. Until, of course, you do.

——————————————————————————

The war-touched childhood (aka back when everything went to hell)

You and Caleb? Same village. A weird crossroads kind of place—traders, whispers, border tension.

You: the strange foreign child. Him: the half-wild local boy with a smug grin and a habit of climbing rooftops barefoot.

You taught him Italian cuss words. He taught you how to steal dumplings without getting caught. The pinky swear vibe. Soulmates, kind of.

“You were always watching,” he once said, squinting at you. “Like you could see something the rest of us were missing.”

And then:

War. Screaming. Fire.

He hid you. You remember his face lit by the glow of burning roofs. His bloodied hand. “Stay here. Don’t make a sound.”

He ran, luring soldiers away. You never saw him again.

Or so you thought.

Spoiler: He never stopped watching (peak Caleb behavior lol)

He never told anyone what he did. But he didn’t forget.

Over the years, he rose through military ranks. All steel and strategy and “don’t get attached.”

Except:

He kept tabs on you.

Pulled strings.

Made sure you were safe, educated, warm.

Never interfered directly. But always… there.

——————————————————————————-

The reunion aka Caleb goes “oh no, she’s hot”

Years pass. You grow up in the court. Memory turns blurry.

You’re calm now. Graceful. Dangerous in a whole new way.

Caleb walks into the palace on official business. Something something investigation.

He expects some sweet, scared thing in a silk robe.

Instead he finds you.

And you have no idea who he is.

But he remembers everything.

——————————————————————————

Caleb keeping his finger hovering over a flame:

He keeps his secret for a while. Watches you. Tests you.

You throw him off by not being impressed by his rank. Or obedient. Or afraid.

You look him in the eye and speak like someone who knows more than she says.

He tries to be professional. Fails spectacularly. Aka Caleb merges with horni boi Jinshi lol. Perfect match imo

The more he watches you solve things the court can’t, the more he realizes:

You don’t need him anymore. And it (probably) guts him.

——————————————————————————

Plot (aka hard Apothecary diaries inspiration)

A diplomat dies. Poisoned.

Strange letter is found—some foreign tongue. No one can read it.

Except, surprise: you. Lol

Suddenly, the court turns its gaze to the little consort in the corner.

And Caleb is summoned to investigate, officially.(Unofficially? He was already halfway there. Heh)

He expects a mystery.

He finds you—now fluent in Chinese, poised and totally unwilling to play dumb.

——————————————————————————-

Vibes

So like… I’m thinking dialogue like thiiiis, occasional POV switches, and the whole Forbidden Palace aesthetic absolutely drenched in sexual tension:

Caleb: “You. The consort with a tongue full of secrets.”

You: “I speak only when addressed, my lord.”

Caleb: leans in slightly, tone low “Good thing I can’t seem to stop addressing you, then.”

You: “You may want to consider restraint, my lord. I hear it’s a virtue.”

Caleb: quiet laugh, eyes dragging over your face like he’s cataloging it “So is discretion. Yet here you are, tucked behind a silk screen with enough languages in your head to unravel half the empire.”

There’s eye contact. There’s tension. There’s something ancient stirring in your chest you do not want to deal with right now.

Curtained hallways. Lingering glances. The kind of conversations where they’re technically discussing poison but actually flirting to death. THE YEARNING

You know—that vibe us Caleb stans LOVE.

——————————————————————————

Me, for the second time today, thinking about undressing General Caleb in prose:

——————————————————————————

Writer’s note: Yep. That’s the post. Can’t even blame the trees today—I ran along the beach. So unless the seagulls are whispering ideas now, this one’s on me. I don’t know Italian or Chinese, so fleshing this out will be a beautiful nightmare. Total Shogun vibes with the whole polyglot situation. And yes, since I dropped that MaoMao gif last post, just know—I worship her. Okey then, thank you for reading my doodle 🫶🏻

[hemlockesprings]

omg you liking BTS and ATEEZ is such a joyful surprise ?? i used to be very into the kpop scene but now life has gotten busier and i just chime in to these 2 groups every now and then. also, lockets is such a cute fan name, i didn't know we were called that :0 !!

again unrelated skdjjd but what are some of your favorite animes ?

YESSS honestly miss my early kpop days (I'm still in the loop, but I feel you on LIFE 🤣)!

And yes we are the lockets! A fan came up with it (whoever you were, thank you)!

Official name: lockets 🔒💖

Unofficial name: hemorrhoids 😳😭

I LOVE THIS QUESTION OMG WAIT I GOT YOU!!!!

So it changes daily (probably), but here have been some of my recent faves:

Solo Levelling: SO GOOD, but particularly the first three episodes. I've never gasped so hard! I don't know if this is going to make sense, but the scenes are really dynamic and genuinely gave me nightmares 😭 That being said, the rest of the series is pretty good as well, and also has an interesting premise (I got sooo giddy yesterday because S2 just started!!)

The Apothecary Diaries: LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS SERIES IT IS SOOOO GOOD!!!!!!! I think it's one of the first times where the main character is one of my favorites! Everyone thinks she's a weirdo (and honestly she kind of is) but she's so fun to watch! Episode 24 (I'm pretty sure) blew my mind because everything started tying together and I was like "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I'm waiting impatiently for S2

Spy X Family: There are a lot of premises in anime where I'm like, "I would not have come up with that," but this one particularly is one that would never cross my mind that doesn't involve magic (to my understanding) or supernatural things (love those elements though)! It's so cute watching their family dynamic and I love all the three mains! I have absolutely no idea when they're all gonna find out about each other though 😳

-🔒📺

[ecargmura]

The Apothecary Diaries Episode 32 Review - Maintaining Good Relationships

Before I start this review, I’m sorry that I haven’t been updating The Apothecary Diaries. I wanted to focus more on the ones that would end for the season, hence why I’m very behind. Fortunately, The Apothecary Diaries Season 2 will be continuing for Spring season, so I can pause and start whenever I want. I’m in the mood to watch Apothecary Diaries now, so here I am!

This is mainly a buildup episode to what could be Maomao’s biggest request to date as the Empress Dowager Anshi asks for Maomao to solve a mystery: why was the late Emperor’s corpse still pristine years after his death? Maomao’s reputation as the palace’s case solver is really getting to her in a positive way but there are still some negatives to it. While it’s good to build and maintain good relationships with the officials in the palace, Maomao also knows to not overstep her boundaries. Heck, she was trying her best to NOT solve the Imperial Family’s lineage drama as she knows knowing too much could result in huge consequences. Since the next episode is about the former Emperor and more of the royal family’s lore, I might save my updated theories about Jinshi for the next episode review.

It also is the reason why Hongniang is being very strict to Maomao. She doesn’t want Maomao to be in a position where she could betray Gyokuyou whether it be usurping her position as consort or be in a position where she could be above the other consorts. Given how intense political drama can be in the Imperial Palace, I’m sure Maomao does not want more drama in her life—she’s already got enough in her hands.

But now, Maomao is in a position where she can dig her nose into the royal family’s drama. There’s a lot of backstory regarding the former Emperor and his mother. Apparently, the former Emperor was a weak-willed man not fit for ruling, so his mother, the Empress Regnant, essentially ruled the nation while using her son as a stand-in. It was also known that the former Emperor was a pedo who was into young girls as Anshi was ten years old when she gave birth to her first son and Lishu, his former consort, was eight when she arrived in the palace. Yes, he was a disgusting man, and I don’t condone his actions at all. His behavior stemmed from the Empress Regnant and it made me wonder if she had SA-ed her son because instead of instilling confidence into her son to help him be fit for ruling, she didn’t do anything. Was it SA or was it being too abusive and controlling? Was she verbally abusive?

The fact that the royal family drama had transitioned from Maomao’s conversations with Shisui can’t help but make me wonder if she’s involved in this. I am still clinging onto the idea that she’s Loulan in disguise. Since Maomao was talking about how the flowers she saw can be used as an abortion drug and that such knowledge is impossible for someone like Shin to know, either someone from the caravan or the palace probably provided it to her. I do think it’s Shisui from the fact that she’s knows a LOT about bugs despite being a servant girl. She’s peculiarly intelligent. On top of that, Maomao has met her in the thicket where the abortion flowers grow and also saw her at the caravan where perfumes that can cause abortions can be bought. And if she’s a master of disguise, she can use that ability to pose as a servant girl or as someone who can sway Shin’s desires. This story does contribute to the fact that knowledge can be used as a weapon. Speaking of Loulan, I did read a post that the events of the previous episode, where the Emperor, Jinshi and Maomao were at the escape room all happened because Loulan asked the Emperor about that specific building, which caused the investigation. This only fuels my Loulan theory even further…

The beginning of the episode was funny with how Maomao enjoyed being in a storage shed as it meant she got more room to store her herbs and plants. Anything that is deemed a bad thing for ordinary people is a good thing for Maomao. The part where Shisui catches bugs is also hilarious because Maomao felt offended when Yinghua indirectly compared her to her. The comedy in the beginning was great.

Also, what is with Mamiko Noto voicing moms these days? Not that I hate it—she got a great voice for them. I feel like this is the third anime I watched where she’s a mom. But fortunately, she’s a mom with a backstory.

I want to give a big shout out to @salaamdreamer for being the person who motivated me to resume my reviews for this show. Just the fact that someone was waiting for my reviews as they enjoyed reading them seriously moved my heart. Thank you. Let me know your thoughts on this episode as well!

[mrmathmanwr]

started watching the apothecary diaries and ngl, i like it. So far, Maomao seems like a little ye olden drug dealer, which is inherently cool asf. I'm typically a total prude, but I think the fact Maomao seems to also be one actually kinda sells the show for me. also maybe or maybe not jinshi don't judge me. I'm still far too early to really know much about the characters, but so far, it seems really interesting.

[cookiesdippedinanime]

I normally don't ever put my reviews online get out my feelings about a anime or show, but I have to talk about

Apothecary diaries🌿

⚠️Warning: Slander. Angry dialogue and a few bad words. Don't interact if you like Apothecary diaries.

Due to a super cool Youtuber I like (Classic man D) I got intrigued by the show. Seeing Maomao brutally slap a dumb later in waiting was choice. That was 2 years ago, and since I've been casually looking for ways to get into it. Manga? No library. Anime? Crunchyroll? Kept forgetting to ask my parents to subscribe. Watch moments? I didn't want to spoil anything big.

(Oh, how I wish I did)

Pan to about 8 days ago, it's finally available on Netflix. I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, though. It wasn't what I thought it was.

Maomao was kidnapped to the palace first off and was tremendously passive about the whole thing. (I'll explain why that's bad later) Don't get me wrong, if I was kidnapped, I'd totally keep my head down too. Next it's unfortunately brought up about a lot of infant demise. Then, there's Jinshi😒

Now, I love pretty boys as much as the next shojo fan girl, but he wasn't hitting for me. Lemme explain better. When we're first introduced to the beautiful menace, he's curious which servant girl (I can't remember what they're called) could not only read and write, but also knows the cause of Lihua's son's death.

I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but I know he tried to "seduce" Maomao in the same first episode. I found it adorable how he was getting blocked and how she was not feeling pretty boys. Notice how I said "found" as in past tense.

I was already a bit turned off by the "rich people pull" he and Gyokuyo pulled by making Maomao the poison tester, when she wants nothing to do with the royalty. But, then the "aphrodisiac" part turned up. Both me and Maomao were rightfully grossed out because she was technically supposed to taste the spiked steamed buns. Chew and swallow.

I don't doubt Jinshi's slick ass probably knew her razor sharp wit would catch on before it went into her mouth, but still😬 My red flag indicator did go off because of that, but I turned them off and hoped for the best. I was wrong. At the end of the episode, quick as a horny cat (Yes, I said the H word) He swooped behind Maomao, touched her and got very close to her neck.

He practically kissed it. Before she could react, he was ghost. (Or backed up. Can't remember!) But, she didn't do anything about it or call him on that. And as I recall, that was technically sexual harassment. I tried to Jinshi a chance after that, but the inner feminist in me and eventually the rest of me, decided I didn't like him.

I tried to just ignore him, but everytime he came on screen, I was just disgusted. He's so...slimy. Besides being extremely nosy (actually being an imperial detective) and handsome, I couldn't find any redeeming qualities. Maomao constantly getting the ick from him didn't help either.

So by episode four, (or five) I REALLY wasn't digging Jinshi. He was giving annoying second lead who couldn't take a hint, rather than elegant main lead. I actually started shipping Maomao with Gaoshun instead, lol. My final straw though, was right before the garden began.

Our Apothecary dame was all dressed up and preparing. Jinshi, (still being Gyokuyo's best homie) enters and was in awe of Maomao's beauty. And surprisingly lack of freckles. Now, I'm not bagging Jinshi too hard about learning about the dangers the common folk go through. I mean, yay for awareness. But, with my hate shades on, I was ticked he wanted to police the joint better now, because Maomao (his "girl") had talked about her struggles.

Talk about favoritism. I was hoping he'd go away after that, but I barely get what I want in media. Jinshi gets this horny blushy look on his face and is once again way too close for comfort. He sticks his hairpin thing in her bun. Not only did he put it wrong and actually prick her a bit, they tried to portray it as a "moment" between them.

And when she was like "what the hell" Jinshi mutters that it's hers now and rushes off to take care of his boner. (Yes, I consider him driven by lust. Sue me.) I was happy when Maomao removed his claim on her, but I was pushed over the edge Gyokuyo put it back in her bun. Once again, trying to make his constant harassment romantic.

Mad, didn't even begin to cover how I felt about it. I was enraged. I see all these moments between them posted on Crunchyroll and honestly thought it'd be a legit relationship. And hell, maybe it is? Maybe Jinshi's slimy personality does do an 180 and he's actually does treat Maomao like a person?

But, I for one, can't vomit in my mouth 'till he does. Jinshi's a sleaze with a pretty face. And I hate that Maomao hasn't done anything about it and it's condoned. And I'm usually pretty loose and understanding with shaky beginnings of relationships. Not to mention, I wished his attempts at rizzing were made comedic like Tamaki (Ouran highschool host club) but, I've already been ranting too long.

Thank you to anyone who lent listening eyeballs about my recent anime failure. If you have any opinions or agree with me, please comment🌿

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Hello, mod. Because of your recommendations, I've watched Hell's Paradise and The Apothecary Diaries and started Black Clover. All of them have been great. Can you please start an anime recommendation list beyond your top 10?

I'm glad you like my recommendations. Yes, I can make a list. Now, It will take time. Is anyone else interested in this so I know where to put this on the priorities list?

[hardworkandguts]

Weekly Catch-up #5

Nothing major, only thinking of figuring out some of the stuff in headers, like author (where I put the mangaka or adaptation director without any sort of consistency) and adding which studio it is primarily from. That's the problem of the backlog, Tumblr sucks when you have over 70 queued posts and I get lazy from thinking about editing all that.

(last week)

What was on?

The Apothecary Diaries

(ep 2.18) While Maomao ia still on parts unknown, and Lady Gyokuyou is about to give birth, Jinshi almost accidentally uncovered the conspiracy in the rear palace, picking up a lead about the mysterious eunuch, and investigating the graves of the victims of the previous emperor, runs into Shenlu, and from there visits Consort Loulan and reflecting on the Addicted To Love thing she has going on with her maids, notices she has the moles of one of them, which he thoroughly memorises, and immediately goes from your friendly sparkly eunuch into "Ka Zuigetsu" mode and deeply terrorises her (and the other maids) into confessing she has indeed abandoned the palace. So, huh, is bug girl Consort Loulan? She looks like them, only with less makeup. Anyway, adding to his worries of his missing cat and having to think about Shenlu's terrified reaction to seeing the previous emperor in him, he also knows Lakan discovered Maomao is missing and is about to do something about that, but before had sent his adopted son to investigate and discovered a suspicious rise in the price of grain and metal, adding to the case of a greater conspiracy against the emperor and the bloodline. Good for Lakan, because those palace repairs look expensive.

Kowloon Generic Romance

(ep 6) Around the start, looking at Hebinuma and Gwen and thinking of the retro style and making a joke about them being cousins in the English dub (seconds later) wait nevermind. So, the second Kowloon was also destroyed, but some people can still see it by resonating with it in a way Generic Terra is involved? Over on bsky I've mentioned this illusion theory would be more interesting if we never saw them go up a bunch of stairs. Or is the opposite, everyone else thinks it was destroyed, but only some can still see it? Ahhh, anyway. I'm sure next week we'll be fed a few more hints of mystery that will make me sound like a total fool.

Witch Watch

(ep 6) First things first, is it me, or was the character design a bit off this time around? I usually get a few screencaps of Nico doing funny faces but this time there was very little of it. As for this episode, spring is in the air and everyone is or wants to be in love. Except Moi, for Nico's annoyance. It's a nice episode that build in their relationship, but really, the animation felt off.

Uchuujin MuuMuu

(ep 5) Well, can't complain about the weirdness factor on a episode where we see Akihiro casually eat a box of tomatoes over a few minutes, and he's completely useless with technology, making his choice to join the refurbishing club very strange, and Tenkubashi being abducted by aliens who have decided to get the knowledge they need the hard way. I still think this show kinda lacks an extra gear I don't think it has, also, still don't get the point of Akihiro's girlfriend, most interactions are of her getting jealous of Sakurako being next to him, then after 30 seconds she disappears until the next episode. Last time I'll complain about that, because it's a weird recurring bit. On today's lesson, troubleshooting an AC that shuts down, and how x-rays work.

Gundam Soldering Pump

(ep 5) it's the beach episode! Only instead of a beach it's the belly of the Red Gundam in a damp recess of a space colony, and if you're wondering if it's a bad idea: yes. Also the "war is hell, huh?" episode, which is a weird mix but if you have only 12, you have to make them count, same with newcomer kira-kira action, now from Nyaan, who had to get in the Eva as Machu was too busy giving the ol' Kamille treatment to some guards and was running late for the match, and later seemed oddly thrilled with all the killing. Something I haven't mentioned so far is Machu has quite a range of faces, all good. Also: saw this theory on who Annqi might be, and you know what, yes.

mono Weekend Animation

(ep 5) This is more of an observation rather than criticism, but it feels the initial premise of the show around the cinephoto club just went out of the window. After an episode where Kako convinces Haruno and the club to go for a wine tasting trip, now she gets her on a cured ham trip, and what makes it weirder in the context of what I've said above is looking up the location this episode takes place and noticing this went unmentioned. Once again, not a criticism, just an observation, as in, if you are looking for a hobby anime about photography, after the first episodes this is looking like it probably ain't it. Second story is a ghost story, and those are generally fun, and no exception. But here comes a problem...

Food For The Soul

(ep 5) uh, with the cinephoto club now being mostly about going to nice locations and eat the local delicacies, where does it leave the do nothing / food appreciation club? Well, you put Kurea and Shinon getting their driving licenses, and by now, you should know how that plays out with Shinon. Second half of the episode have them driving Kurea's mother work van for practice, and as Shinon gets into the freeway and overshoots the exit, they decide to go Tsukiji, where Kurea used to go to the local food market with her mother, and decide on a seafood barbecue for today's meal and to give Nana some memories together. It's a fun and chill episode, although I feel mono straying away from what I expected would be the hobby show with tourism highlights isn't helping either show to stand out.

Tis Time for "Torture", Princess

(ch 269) In a Hime-less episode for a change, we get to see Inki terrified about a big-budget sequel to her favourite movie, so she goes with Youki just in case it's bad.

Flying Witch

(ch 85) I really wish Flying Witch updated a bit more frequently, because I had a bit of a tough time remembering the characters beyond Mako. Chapters might just come once every three months, but generally they're pretty good, so I'm going to put that more on my shitty memory. Anyway, it's a nice story that begins as a visit to a Buddhist temple that ends as a youkai / ghost story in the typical supernatural iyashikei style it does so well.

Monochrome Days

(ch 19) as promised two weeks ago, it's the start of the serialisation arc, and after winning the contest, Hanaichi and Saori are not too sure if they have everything set to be fully satisfied with the project, particularly the plot, so they pass on the priority opportunity and aim even higher, which greatly impresses Hanako, and you can imagine where it goes from there. This continues to be an interesting view into the manga industry, and I'd be curious to hear how faithful it is.

In other news:

It's not exactly "news" (just realised I lost it on a draft and didn't wrote it back in) but the 9th volume of the English release of Can You Keep a Secret? / I Have a Crush at Work is out. Some weeks ago on the post about the adaptation I mentioned there's a lot that was not adapted and the finale matches the 8th volume, so if you want more Mitsuya and Tateishi, the manga is the place to go, and now you get to see where it picks up from the ending in 10 new chapters. I'll probably feature them on a What was on? still this month.

[yayasvalveplay]

Good Morning, Afternoon, Evening or Night, Yaya and citizens of Yaya nation, I have brought an offering of a branch to the DW Au. Basically, last night i finished watching The Apothecary Diaries season 2 and I had a prophetic dream mixing these two. So I all that ask is for you to Hear Me Out on this one.

Also this might container spoilers to The Apothecary Diaries season 1 and maybe 2? So You have been warned. Alright, now into my crazy and delulu idea:

So I was thinking What if after Optimus' first pregnancy he managed to slip unnoticed and got to a small spaceship, where he put both him and his newborn daughter, Sari, and managed to escape! Unfortunately It wasn't very long lived because soon other Decepticon ships caught up to him, so in a very Superman style, he put his daughter in a shuttle and launched her to space with random coordinates that he didn't even see, a precaution so he can't know where he sent her when Megatron eventually gets into the spaceship to take the truth out of him. Unfortunately the shuttle is hit by a field of meteors before Megatron and the other spaceships could go after it. So now both Op and Meg think their daughter is dead, Op specially puts the blame in himself, because what was he thinking??!! Sair is dead now! Or is she?? 🤔

While, yes, the shuttle was actually hit by a meteor but it didn't get destroyed and baby Sari was okay there. What happened is that it couldn't get to the right coordinates (which would have been a certain planet where fleshlings reside in) due to getting some systems broken and the shuttle got into a newly conquered planet, just a little bit far from cybertron actually, and more specifically into the now fully active breeding house consisting of Autobot slaves, to be more specific the entire planet is just like the Decepticon version of the Red Light District. The Red Breeding Planet District. (I'm gonna work out that name I swear I know it's bad)

This is where I get into the worldbuilding, i think it was said before that depending on the status of the breeding house, they have nicer environments, and that's just like the brothels in Apothecary Diaries (AD). Where better paying clients have the right to experiment the qualities of the Autobot they want a bittie with, after all they deserve only the best of the best with how much they are paying. So like courtesans, Autobots in the best breeding houses showcase their talents as a way to be considered the top breeders like the Three Princesses of Verdigris House in AD. While in the worst case, cheaper breeders facilities just leave the Autobot strapped down and anyone who pays can go and have a taste, leaving them stuffed full of transfluid and hope they get sparked soon, so at least they can get a break from all this.

This part is more speculation, but we said before that Bulkhead was a breeder before Soundwave bought him, but what if Bulkhead was one of the Top Breeders in his facility, like, he's very smart, he used to be a technician in a space bridge for Godness' sake and he's a great artist, his paintings are very good just that alone would make him very desired, and he's also big, for autobots at least, and that makes him even more desirable, after all, the bigger they are, the more bitties they can have at once and easier the emergence too. Bulky is my baby and the more i can make his life before Soundwave less bad, the better.

Now back to Sari, after her forced landing in a remote area of the planet, the protection shield was still somewhat active so baby didn't get hurt, the little shuttle door was broken wide and the little protoform started crawling away from it, thankfully because not that later it exploded, getting rid of the evidence. But the explosion caught the attention of a few lower standing breeders who had been trying to escape, lacking common sense they go in that direction, but before reaching the explosion site, they find baby Sari, crying scared and hungry, distracted because it's a little Autobot baby and why is she in the middle of nowhere, where are her creators? They believe her to be Autobot, and only Autobot, because of her blue optics (More on that later)

The distraction because of Sari allows the guards from the facilities to arrive and take them back, though they are confused from where the hack did that protoform came from?!! Taking her back to the facility, some of the breeders are absolutely enamoured because it's a bittie, it took a lot and I mean a lot of convincing to allow the owner to let them keep it and not send it to the gladiatorial pits or the mining shacks. The reason? He noticed the little nubs on the baby's back, indicating that she's developing a flight frame, as they are rare among Autobots, the owner of the breeding facility thought 'Hey that could make her a rather famous breeder when she's grown, nurturing her talents since young could be beneficial' (Don't worry though, Sari doesn't become a breeder, she runs away before that).

He allows the breeders to nurse her and they also train her on various other talents like poetry, singing, dancing, painting, strategy games, etc. Anything that would make her worth more. The breeders name her Swirl and she becomes a part of the family, a very disfunctional one, but still family, as a baby one of her main caretakers was Bulkhead (Even when he wasn't sparked, he made a lot of energon in his refineries, his boobage is huge) so he was tasked with feeding little Swirl the most, other main caretakers of Swirl were Rodimus and First Aid.

As she grows, Swirl hates the idea of becoming a breeder more and more so she develops a escape plan, It's not uncommon for many different decepticon ships to land in the District after all. She learns the ships from each client, where they hail from and what said client works for, utilizing the distraction that a Top breeder had been bought, Rodimus had given her the idea, saying that the 7 cycles of celebration of him being bought by none other than The General of destruction Strika and her consort Lugnut were sure to be a big distraction and not many would notice someone sliping away. So Swirl robs some parts and components here and there of some less known decepticon clients, not one bats an eye after all, sometimes some business owners send some autobots slaves to hijack client's spaceships so they spend more time in the breeding house paying.

So no one notices her stealing ship's parts to build her own, in hindsight maybe they shouldn’t have told Bulkhead to teach her everything he knows, because he thought her everything, including the inner workings of spaceships. Her masterpiece is almost complete, but she's still missing something, and that's when she miscalculates. Just the day before Rodimus goodbye celebration, Swirl sees a medium size shuttle descend in the least pleasant part of the breeding houses. The mech that steps out is Big and he looks very well maintaned, unlike other mechs that choose to go to this part of the facilities. That should have her first sign, but her eagerness had her blind and that mech was Requiem, who had been sent by Tarn to bring Sentinel back from his punishment. And so, none the wiser to whom she was dealing with, she robs the main motor of the shuttle and rans away, not knowing of the red optics following the little thief. Let the Hunt begin.

Alright I'm gonna stop for now, been writing this for over an hour now and I need to go, but I promise I'll send a part 2 today. Just gonna plan he writing more. Spoilers: Wheelie appears next

Pancake my mouth was on the floor the entire timei read this. I love this alternate reality, and ohh ohoh

Because they all think she's an autobot. She's bassicly in the ring to get bought out, and oh Requiem has caught wind of her already. He has never felt anything for anyone (Wheelie. But hush) but seeing her. Something stirs within him to take her home.

[metalandmagi]

The Real Anime Awards of 2023 part 2

Every year, I become increasingly disappointed in the Crunchyroll Anime Awards, so I started making my own Anime Award lists THAT ARE FOR THE ACTUAL YEAR IN ANIME! IF CRUNCHYROLL WON'T INCLUDE FALL SHOWS THEN I WILL! I've already done my silly version for 2023, so now it's time for my serious picks. But it's still just for fun, so don't take any of my nominees too seriously or get offended that I didn't include your favorites. Even I can't watch everything.

Full disclosure, I don't include all the same categories that Crunchyroll does (just most of them). These are also only for television shows, so I didn't include any movies (and I really don't watch enough anime movies on a yearly basis to include a movie category).

Anime of the Year

Vinland Saga season 2

Zom 100 Bucket List of the Dead

Oshi no Ko

Frieren Beyond Journey’s End

Pluto

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (I don’t care what MyAnimeList says. It’s made by Science Saru, so I'm counting it.)

Best Continuing Series

Vinland Saga season 2

Dr. Stone New World

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Spy x Family season 2

Attack on Titan the final season (just assume I mean the last special from here on out)

Best New Series

Buddy Daddies

Oshi no Ko

Tengoku Daimakyou

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

Migi to Dali

Best Animation

Tsurune season 2

Trigun Stampede

Demon Slayer: Swordsmith Village arc

My Happy Marriage

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Attack on Titan the final season

Best Character Design

Overtake!

Bleach Thousand Year Blood War part 2

Oshi no Ko

Blue Lock cour 2

Tokyo Revengers season 2

Mou Ippon! (Yes I'm 100% serious. I actually respect this show’s character design a lot, considering the artists were able to make realistic, distinct, varied female characters of all shapes and sizes without making them into moe blobs. So that's why this is on here instead of another shounen of the week.)

Best Romance

Tomo-chan Is A Girl

My Love Story With Yamada-kun at Lv999

Sacrificial Princess and the King of Beasts

Skip to Loafer

Insomniacs After School

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces

Best Comedy

Buddy Daddies

Cool Doji Danshi cour 2

Skip to Loafer

My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999

My New Boss is Goofy

The Hundred Girlfriends Who Really Really Really Really Really Love You

Best Action

Trigun Stampede

Demon Slayer Swordsmith Village arc

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Attack on Titan the final season

Hell’s Paradise

Honorable mention: Bleach Thousand Year Blood War season 2 (sorry, I just wasn’t as impressed with the action in this season, but it still deserves a shout out)

Best Fantasy

To Your Eternity season 2 cour 2 (is it cheating if it's only counting the last cour of the season 😅)

Ousama Ranking: Yuuki no Takarabako

Hell’s Paradise

Mononogatari season 2

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

Mushoku Tensei season 2

Honorable mention: Hikari no Ou (I never finished it but the vibe was there.)

Best Drama

Vinland Saga season 2

Oshi no Ko

Pluto

Ooku: The Inner Chambers

Tengoku Daimakyou

Migi and Dali

Honorable mention: Undead Girl Murder Farce- it's more of a mystery than a drama, but I still wanted to include it somewhere.

Best Slice of Life

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces

Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible

Cool Doji Danshi cour 2

My New Boss is Goofy

Insomniacs After School

My Clueless First Friend

Best Protagonist

Thorfinn (Vinland Saga season 2)

Mitsumi Iwakura (Skip to Loafer)

Maomao (The Apothecary Diaries)

Arikoto Madenokoji (Ooku: The Inner Chambers)

Frieren (Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End)

Kouya Madoka (Overtake!)

Best Antagonist

Eisuke Nikaido (Tsurune season 2)

Canute (Vinland Saga season 2)

Millions Knives (Trigun Stampede)

Taiju (Tokyo Revengers season 2)

Ibara (Dr. Stone New World part 2)

Reiko Ichijou (Migi to Dali)

Honorable mention: *SPOILERS* The Bureau of Traditional Music (Mononogatari season 2). These guys were squad goals, not gonna lie.

Best Boy

Vash the Stampede (Trigun Stampede)

Every Single Boy from Cool Doji Danshi cour 2- THEY’RE ALL GOOD BOYS OKAY!?

Sousuke Shima (Skip to Loafer)

Taiyou Takada (My Clueless First Friend)

Einar (Vinland Saga)- Yes Einar instead of Snake. Snake is a lovable antihero, but Einar is best boy material

Yukichi (The Masterful Cat Is Depressed Again Today)

Best Girl

Tomo (Tomo-chan Is A Girl)

Runa Shirakawa (You Were Experienced, I Was Not: Our Dating Story)

Kana Arima (Oshi no Ko)

Amit (Niehime to Kemono no Ou)

Akane Kinoshita (My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999)

Mitsuri Kanroji (Demon Slayer: Swordsmith Village arc)

Best Score

Trigun Stampede

Vinland Saga season 2

Insomniacs After School

Bleach Thousand Year Blood War part 2

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

Best OP (yes there are 8 nominations, I couldn't decide 😭)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (“Specialz” King Gnu)- I really think this season’s OPs should be taken as a pair, but when it comes down to which OP will stand the test of time, I think this one will be more iconic.

Vinland Saga season 2 OP2 (“Paradox” Survive Said the Prophet)

Oshi no Ko (“Idol” YOASOBI)

High Card (“Trickster” Five New Old)

Hell’s Paradise (“Work” Millennium Parade)

Tengoku Daimakyou (“Innocent Arrogance” BiSH)

Bleach Thousand Year Blood War part 2 (“Stars” w.o.d.)

The Legendary Hero is Dead (“Shinda” Masayoshi Ōishi)

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead (“Song of the Dead” Kana-Boon)

Honorable mention: Link Click season 2 (honestly this is probably the best OP of the year, but since the show isn’t Japanese, I have to exclude it 😣)

Best ED

Tengoku Daimakyou (“Dare mo Kare mo Doko mo Nani mo Shiranai” ASOBI Doumei)

Oshi no Ko (“Mephisto” Ziyoou-vachi)

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (“Anytime Anywhere” milet)

Dr. Stone New World part 2 (“Suki ni Shinayo” Anly)

Spy x Family season 2 (“Todome no Ichigeki” Vaundy ft. Cory Wong)

Migi to Dali (“Skyline” Nulbarich)

Best VA Performance Japanese

Uemura, Yuuto As Thorfinn (Vinland Saga season 2)

Takahashi, Rei as Tomo (Tomo-chan is a Girl)

Satao, Gen as Ganta Nakami (Insomniacs After School) His laugh is so pure and genuine, I could listen to it forever!

Inoue, Marina as Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan the final season)

Tanezaki, Atsumi as Anya Forger (Spy Family season 2)

Nakamura, Yuuichi as Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen season 2)

So there you have it! My picks for the real anime awards of 2023. Like I said, don't take this seriously at all, it's just something fun I like to put together every year. I always try not to nominate the same things, but it's easy to end up playing favorites. It's so hard to try to include a variety!

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E18 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Lakan - master strategist

Pairin - one of the princesses at Verdigris House

Luomen - Maomao's physician father

Meimei: one of the princesses of Verdigris House

Suirei: court lady who doesn't like Maomao

Woah. Okay so that's a loaded exchange.

Jinshi: How does one decrease the value of a courtesan? Maomao: In the case of pregnancy, it would reduce it to nearly zero.

There are 7 seconds of silence in this show after that. Yes, I used a stopwatch to time it. That is a freaking insane pause.

Jinshi makes a move to... I don't know exactly, reach out maybe? Reassure Maomao that he's not planning on doing this? I'm not sure. There is a shit ton of subtext to this conversation, that I'm not sure I have completely figured out but I will try.

Jinshi is the more obviously bothered by this statement, by a lot. Maomao is just observing to see how Jinshi responds to it. Essentially what she says is that a man could rape a courtesan and impregnant her to bring her value down, to ruin her. It would bring her value so low that anyone could afford to buy out her contract at that point. Jinshi has not provided any context to why he asked this question, and Maomao is studying him closely to see what he does with the information. I don't believe she thinks he would do this personally to a courtesan, or she wouldn't have told him. But as it appears, they've arrived at a brothel where Jinshi stopped her before going inside to ask this very fucked up question. She has to at least examine the possibility that she is wrong about Jinshi. And I think he passes her scrutiny, but not without damage done. She's disappointed that he is planning on going into this brothel, and that he asked such a depraved question. It hits particularly hard, because just prior to this they were having a nice moment where she opened up about her father. Now she is likely backtracking, either wondering why she bothered, or scolding herself for behaving inappropriately.

As for Jinshi in this scene, he hasn't revealed why he wants the answer to this particular question so badly. But boy does he want it. He let himself and Maomao fall into Lakan's trap just so that Lakan would tell him the answer. But Lakan didn't answer. Instead Jinshi asks Maomao, knowing that the question is inappropriate. He risks damaging the regard between the two of them so that he can get this answer. He's risking widening the rift between them. But why? What use is this answer to Jinshi? Does this have to do with the story Lakan told? Is he concerned about what may have happened to a courtesan in the past? To Maomao's mother? Is there a courtesan in the present that Jinshi is concerned about? Who can say.

In any case, Jinshi can see the damage that asking it has caused. He tries, I think, to backtrack, but it's too late. Maomao is retreating from him. She wants to flee, this conversation hurts for reasons she doesn't want to examine. Thank god Jinshi is emotionally intuitive. He can't let her walk away like this. The rift between them is too large, there is no telling if it could even be fixed if she leaves now. Jinshi grabs her arm.

Jinshi: You're leaving me now?

Maomao explains that her presence would compromise whatever plans he has in the restaurant. And Jinshi has to agree that makes sense, even if he can't put into thoughts or words why his heart is breaking right now.

Jinshi's critical error in this moment is that he is trying to keep Maomao out of what he's up to. He wants to protect her from whatever he's involved in, yet doing so is harmful too. He never tells her why he is visiting this place. He never explains why he asked the question. She is left to fill in the blanks with her own assumptions, with devastating results. In his effort to protect Maomao, Jinshi has harmed her. Jinshi cares for Maomao, but he hasn't learned to fully trust or respect her. And there will never be a relationship without trust. He's still got a lot of work to do before a real relationship can happen.

Maomao: It's fine. I didn't show any emotion when I spoke.

Maomao!!!

Her heart is breaking here too. I'm only surprised she is willing to admit it to herself. Perhaps the anguish of this moment has become too great to deny? For as sad as this scene is, that Maomao is aware and acknowledging her emotions is a major breakthrough! I suspect she's in for some painful moments now that she has to feel her pain, but you can't heal what you don't feel. She's on a path of healing now! Yay!

Oh my god, she even turned around to watch him walk into the building. So good Maomao. You're doing great girl!

Maomao: I truly hope you enjoy your evening good sir.

Maomao you dirty little liar!

Okay so maybe we only get to see a tiny step forward for Maomao, but a tiny step is still progress! I'm just so happy to see anything that pokes past the impasse that Jinshi and Maomao have been stuck at for ages.

The fuck kind of nightmare was that?! No wonder Maomao doesn't like to feel her emotions if she gets horrible flashbacks. Was she the baby in that scene? It looked like someone who was horribly injured tried to kill a baby. Apparently they couldn't go through with it. Was this Maomao's courtesan mother? Was she burned or scarred in someway? Perhaps to bring down her value? Or was the baby the product of rape? Was she trying to get rid of the baby to allow her to what? Return to being a courtesan? Seems unlikely with the injuries. Because she hates how the baby was conceived? Because the baby reminds her of the man who did this to her? Maybe to kill the baby so it couldn't be abused by someone else? Maybe because the woman in the scene was planning to kill herself after killing the baby?

Maomao looks at her hand, then thinks about the conversation she had with Jinshi yesterday. She then says of the nightmare that she brought it up. So there is a connection between the conversation and the nightmare. I'm guessing that what Jinshi asked about is exactly what happened to Maomao's mother, which triggered her memory. Why look at her hand? Does this have anything to do with her bandaged arm? Does the neglect or abuse of her mother have something to do with Maomao's low self-worth and the reason she is willing to self harm for her experiments? Or is she looking at her hand just to ground herself in reality, to try to fight back the traumatic memories?

After being awoken by her nightmare, Maomao is comforted by the familiar sight and routine of her father working in the apothecary. He asks her to take a package to Verdigris House.

This is maybe as good a time as any to ponder if Maomao's connection with Verdigris House is greater than that of an apothecary. I mean clearly it is, she considers the people here to be her family. But could she have had blood family that lived here as well? Was her mother one of the courtesans? I think that has been hinted at fairly strongly now.

Maomao is welcomed back with open arms. I'm so glad too see it. When was the last time someone gave Maomao a hug? Was it the last time she was here at the brothel?

Pairin is being harassed by granny to make a choice on something, and Maomao uses the opportunity to sneak away.

Pairin: Is she going to the annex?

I fricking hope so! I've been waiting for this!

Okay, so the annex is part of Verdigris House. And it looks identical to the room in Maomao's nightmare. So this must be where Maomao's mother lived. Perhaps where she died. And Maomao lived here, at least as an infant. How did she end up with Luomen?

Oh shit! Her mother is still alive?! But in a terrible state. She has some terrible illness. And it's not confirmed that this is her mother, but isn't it implied? Either way, Maomao used to be chased out of here by this angry person though it seems she no longer has the energy.

And hold on, I remember a scene from the last time Maomao was in the Verdigris House where granny asked her to tend to what I thought was just an ill courtesan, but perhaps it was this person in the annex.

Maomao's mother patient seems to be in the end stages of her illness. She no longer has energy to even speak. Luomen's once effective treatments don't offer relief, and there is nothing more that can be done. Though she may have been dealing with her decline for a long time Maomao will soon have to deal with the death of her mother. This may not be a healthy relationship, but there will still be grief. We grieve for people even when it's complicated. We also grieve what could have been, what never was. And there is never a good time to lose someone, but certainly some times are worse than others. Much of Maomao's life is uncertain right now, and she just took an emotional blow from her interaction with Jinshi, causing her to dip into the emotions she tries to avoid, now this on top of it. When it rains, it pours.

There is a troublesome customer visiting the Verdigris House. Meimei has been tasked to meet him. How foreboding. It couldn't be Lakan could it? His history with courtesans makes me ill.

Okay so maybe this lady isn't Maomao's mother, maybe she is. Maomao explains that the woman has syphilis. At least Verdigris House takes care of their own. I love that. Luomen may have been able to do something for this woman if he had arrived to serve the brothel during an earlier stage of the illness. There is a flashback here, where we get a glimpse of young Maomao in the brothel. No one trusted the eunuch doctor from no where, even if he could have done something. After contracting syphilis, the lady had to go on serving customers until the sores spread over her whole body, and she was locked up in the annex.

The woman tried to hum a tune, but is unable to to speak. I wonder if Maomao recognizes it.

Little girl: Big sis wanted you to know that the weirdo with the monocle is here, so you should avoid going out there for awhile.

Oh no! It is Lakan! Why is this little girl telling Maomao specifically so she can avoid him? Does he have a history with Maomao at the brothel? I'm trying to recall all of the things that Lakan said about the courtesan he used to visit at Verdigris House. That he could beat her at shogi, but not go. That she never sold herself but that she had an arrogant expression... I mean, I could be looking into it too much, but that... could be Maomao? Did she work as a courtesan here before? Is this why Jinshi is so determined to find out how someone might have reduced the price of a courtesan?! Did he know she used to work here? Does he worry that something terrible has happened to Maomao here? DID IT! Oh my god! It would explain so much about her fear of working as a courtesan, and her trauma. What the fuck happened in this brothel?! And who all knows about it! I demand answers!

I'm going to pull it back a little bit, and return to an earlier theory that Lakan is actually Maomao's biological father. He may have a history with Maomao at the brothel but that may be as a man who was somewhat interested in the daughter he fathered. Understandably, Maomao wants nothing to do with him. We learn here that Maomao knows who Lakan is though. Thank god they didn't run into each other in the palace. Can she really go on avoiding him? He can follow her in the palace or in the Pleasure District.

Maomao refers to Lakan as a long time customer of the Verdigris House, an old acquaintance, but that if she just stays put in the annex, she won't run into him. Okay, but tell me why you don't want to run into him....

Maomao has had a rough day. She's still reeling from her conversation with Jinshi and now she has been trapped all day in the annex with a woman who maybe hates her, so that she can avoid Lakan. She's had nothing to do but think about all the really painful emotions that she usually stays busy to avoid. Meimei finds Maomao hiding out in the annex, and lets her know that Lakan has left. Apparently he has brough up an offer for Maomao?! Maomao hates it, and so do I!

Maomao worries that if she didn't have her job that the madam of Verdigris House would have sold her off to Lakan by now. She thinks that Lakan's interest is the main reason that the madam wants her to become a courtesan. So Lakan is a major contributing factor to why Maomao is so fiercely opposed to being a courtesan. Her terror takes on a new shade of meaning now. If only we knew what has transpired between Maomao and Lakan in the past, we could understand.

Meimei has been given offers to leave the brothel, but has as yet turned them all down. She's getting close to retirement age, but isn't ready for that yet. Maomao asks why she doesn't just leave? To Maomao the freedom to choose would be preferrable to any offer that a customer could make. Maomao thinks that Meimei is holding out for love. Perhaps she is in love with someone already, and is waiting for an offer from that person.

Maomao: Maybe it's love. But if that's the case. It's not a rabbit hole I want to delve into. That's an emotion I'm sure I left behind. Back in the womb of the woman who birthed me.

Nearly every example of romantic love that Maomao has is heartbreaking. She's seen heartbreak after heartbreak in the brothel, with courtesans having promises made to them, and then broken. We don't know the story of her parents, but if her mother is the dying woman in the annex, or if she has died already, then then there is heartbreak in her story as well. Even the concubines in the palace don't have the love of the emperor, instead they merely battle for his attention and favor. The sole example she has seen is that of the concubine who was able to escape the Rear Palace when her military beau was able to secure her release.

Maomao is not open to the idea of love, in fact it is something she tries to avoid, disdains even. This view of love is one of the reasons we have seen her repeatedly shut down any tender emotion she's had, and why she is so willing to read any other explanation when love is directed at herself. And she tells us here, that it stems from her parents. How is she ever going to trust someone enough to love them and be loved in return?

And what a way to talk about one's own mother. "The woman who birthed me." So there is a story there. It sounds like one of abandonment, neglect or abuse, as we've already guessed.

The princesses want to pamper Maomao, and she adores the attention. This girl is so touch starved. I wondered about Maomao's need for physical touch, way back in episode 2 when Jinshi touched Maomao's hair and breathed on her neck. He did it in an effort to try to seduce her, but her reaction was interesting. She didn't get disgusted or freaked out as she did with his flirting. She just kind of let it happen. Now we see it with the courtesans that she considers family. Meimei is scrubbing Maomao's back and she is relaxed and smiling. The courtesans love Maomao so much, I wish she could have this kind of affection all the time.

Hard transition to Jinshi. A man who maybe has never had a hug in his life, except for the back hug he stole from Maomao when he was drunk. He's regretting that his date went so terribly, he didn't mean to give the impression to Maomao that he was trying to hook up with someone. He tells us that it definitely wasn't what he traveled there for, which is really unnecessary. No one who has been watching this show believed he was. I would like for him to tell us what he was up to though.

Maomao has retuned to Jinshi's residence, and Jinshi steels himself to face her. He's embarrassed and knows he's once again put space between them, when all he wants to do is find a way to get closer. Plus, it looks like he's carrying that jug of... beverage that Lakan left. He presents it as a present from a weirdo. Their conversation lacks all of the usual banter, and is perfectly polite, which for these two is a disaster. Jinshi watches her walk away. He's not sure where to even begin to repair this. He's frustrated. Maomao is doing her best to pretend like Jinshi already left. Gaoshun is there listening closely. Suiren is there watching Maomao and wondering what has changed, but knows it's some bullshit because she says:

Suiren: For goodness' sake.

Yeah Suiren. I feel that in my bones. But when I say it there is usually an F bomb in there somewhere.

Maomao is having very complicated feelings about having seen her mother the woman in the annex. It's distracting her from her work. It seems bad, but it's a good sign that Maomao is starting to face her emotions and try to process them, rather than avoid them.

Suiren thinks Maomao's distraction has to do with the master of the residence so she decides it's time to say something. Suiren realizes that hints and subtly don't work so well for Maomao when it comes to herself. She needs very blunt advice, which Suiren provides.

Suiren encourages Maomao to ask Jinshi for some space for her apothecary supplies.

Suiren: You may appear apathetic, but you're keen. You know where you stand, and how to play the game.

Yes! Call her on her bullshit Suiren!

Suiren: Because somebody was born noble doesn't inherently make them any different from you or me.

She's telling Maomao to quit looking at Jinshi as some lofty official, see him as a person.

Suiren: If you view everything in terms of status, then you'll miss opportunities.

Thank you Suiren! Internalize that Maomao. Put it in your head and keep it there.

Maomao has an errand to run at the court pharmacy, and she's delighted. She'll sparkling here. If only Maomao could be employed here.

The odd court lady that smacked Maomao in the head a few episodes back has arrived. Maomao figures that this lady works in the guard house and handles herbs in her job, which is why she had a bitter smell earlier, here I thought she was on drugs. Maomao ponders why the lady dislikes her so much, when they've had so little interaction.

A little casual classism for flavor. The pharmacist bemoans that the court lady is required to come pick up drugs herself. Then realizes he said it in front of Maomao and tries to back track. It's not okay work for a court lady, but fine for servant. That comment right on the heals of Suiren's much better advice about class.

Maomao discovers that the item she was sent to pick up was potato flour and wonders why Jinshi needs it. She pieces together a few things about Jinshi's actions. She suspects his actions are part of a purification ceremony that would be used to perform ceremonial rights. Something a nobleman might do. Something that would be strange for a eunuch to do. I'm tired of this theme. Moving on.

Gaoshun and Jinshi are trying to piece together the mystery of Luomen, but Jinshi can't stop thinking about how things are so distant and confused between himself and Maomao, right now. And just to make sure Jinshi never gets a moments peace, Lakan arrives.

Lakan is in the same house where Maomao is right now, and on the one hand I'm hoping they don't run into each other for Maomao's well being, but on the other hand, let's get this plot moving along. It's time to throw Maomao to the wolves.

Question: why does Lakan bring his own beverage whenever he visits? Is he afraid of being poisoned?

Jinshi isn't even bothering to hide how irritated he is at this visit. That's telling. And maybe a mistake. Or maybe intentional.

Jinshi: It seems to me, that you had engaged in some dirty trickery. Lakan: How very rude. That's rich to hear from a thief like yourself.

Gasp! Jinshi a thief?! Go on!

Oh no! Lakan really was trying to get Maomao. He spent a decade trying to get Maomao? Maomao who is what? All of 17 or 18 here? Has he been trying to get Maomao out of the brothel since she was a child? With good intentions or bad ones? Lakan feels he's been made a fool. He tell Jinshi he's upset with him over this.

Jinshi is worried, pissed, and oh so intent.

Jinshi: So do you want your prize returned?

I'm fairly certain that Jinshi wouldn't do that, and is just moving the conversation to find out Lakan's intentions.

Lakan: Not quite. I will pay whatever it is you ask.

That's... a hell of a look from Jinshi. So intense! Jinshi fucking hates this guy.

Jinshi: And if I refuse?

Lakan: Well then, I suppose there is nothing I can do is there.

Which is a threat to wreck Jinshi's life! It's a declaration of war. Holy shit!

Lakan: How many people could defy a man of your rank? I could count every single one of them on one hand.

The imperial family maybe? Yup that's it. Jinshi knows that Lakan knows his true identity.

Oh my god. Lakan knows everything!

Lakan: I'm just concerned you know. About what my daughter would think.

He's threatening to expose the truth about Jinshi, and hits him where it hurts the most: Maomao. Jinshi was worried that Maomao may be this man's daughter, and Lakan just confirmed as much.

Jinshi is tense. Hands balled into fists, posture wary, as Lakan asks to meet Maomao. This asshole has been following Maomao. First at the brothel and now to Jinshi's residence.

Everyone one of Lakan's moves were so well played, and Jinshi... is trapped. He once again has to make a choice between the obligations of his station and his own personal desires. He can give this official what he is asking for and go on business as usual, after all what is one servant over another? It would be an easy decision for someone else other than Jinshi, if it were about someone else, other than Maomao.

Jinshi looks deep in thought when he comes upon Maomao while the sun is setting. Is something ending here?

Jinshi addresses Maomao as "apothecary." It's respectful in that it acknowledges her for her skills, she may even like being called this, but it's another sign of the distance between the two. I don't know the last time he called her by her name.

Jinshi seems very nervous to bring this up to Maomao. You can hear the tension in his voice. Unusual for Jinshi, when he is usually bold and shameless when interacting with Maomao. It's a sign of just how precarious things are between the two right now. Also, a sign of just how divided Jinshi is about even bringing this suggestion to Maomao.

Jinshi: There's... an official who wants to meet you sometime soon. ... It's...that weirdo I've been telling you about. His name's... Lakan.

A pause. Then a fricking jump scare of Maomao's intense glare! This glare isn't giving Jinshi chills in the fun way. She looks legit scary. It reminds me of a frightened animal that has been backed into a corner and has no choice left but to fight. Lakan is a line she will not cross. An absolute boundary. With one look she declares that there is nothing she won't do to avoid that meeting.

Jinshi: I'll find a way to let him down gently.

Jinshi, Jinshi, Jinshi.... what the hell are you going to do? If you can't convince Maomao to see Lakan, and you won't force her to do it, then your other choice is to go to war with Lakan.

Jinshi: I've never seen her make a face like that. I never want to see it again. Ever.

I hope he means that as I'm going to do everything I can to keep her protect her from Lakan. I hope this is a turning point for Jinshi, where he chooses Maomao in a real way. I hope he won't waver again on this, allowing Lakan room to maneuver Maomao and himself.

Maomao is distressed that Lakan has found her again. She goes to collect medicinal herbs. A familiar and comforting activity.

She is approached by Suirei who cares for the herb garden near the military officers' part of the palace. Maomao questions what Suirei is growing here and Suirei claims she planting a medicine for resurrection?

Maomao has a VERY strong reaction to that. Who has died in Maomao's life that she is that desperate to get back? A family member? Someone she loved? A patient she couldn't save?

Suirei claims to be joking. What a strange lady. Are we absolutely sure she's not on drugs? The music is unsettling in this scene and so is Suirei. She asks how good of an apothecary Maomao is then tells her she's going to plant morning glories here. I happen to know that those are poisonous! Is Suirei hoping to make a poison? Will she try to get Maomao to do it?

The sun is setting over the palace and the music is ominous. Is something serious about to happen in the next episode?

To start at the beginning: Episode 1

Next Episode:

Episode 19