#yes i realize this is my fic On Thin Ice but idc i like it

[lexirosewrites]

not to purposely remix one of my own fics just because sapphic steddie is on the brain ain’t gonna stop me though

but i know gorgeous goddess of a competitive figure skater stevie and her girlfriend, drowned rat hockey team captain eddie, would fuck nasty in the locker room shower

stevie would also show up to all her girlfriend’s games wearing a team jersey with eddie’s name and number on the back because that’s her girl and she’s so proud of her!!

& eddie supports stevie with huge bouquets of flowers at her competitions, cheering the loudest in the stands (alongside wayne of course)

they’re in love!!!

[deliberatemisspelling]

So I've been mentally writing this sterek fic (I am literally always mentally writing a fic, it's the actual writing part that I struggle with) and it's SUPER frustrating because I'm realizing that I totally do not know the sequence of plot events in TW at ALL after the whole nogitsune shenanigan.

Like okay so it starts with The Summer Fling, which is canon fight me. And Derek angsting about Stiles age and Stiles low-key panicking about Scott finding out and the usual stuff there. And then comes the Unofficial Breakup that has to be Unofficial because they were never Official but after the vault and Erica and Boyd, it's all a little too Real for Stiles and he's like whoa pump the brakes.

So that's chill, and then the no-tell motel, Derek is Dead drama whereafter Stiles goes to the loft to like, mourn or whatever. Turns out Derek's not dead, that's great! Not great? The pair of delicate feet and slim ankles appearing at the top of the Sexy Spiral Staircase over Derek's shoulder. Obvs Stiles just like bolts at this point because Derek isn't his boyfriend, he has no right to be there, Derek's not dead and moved on it's all SO wonderful.

In all the running away, Stiles misses that A. The ankles belong to his English teacher and B. Derek's been magically seduced! Tragic. Rapey. All very much part of Derek's general milieu. Where's Cora? Honestly who cares like I hate to say that about a female character but she's so obviously a stand in for Erica that they murdered for no reason that I just Cannot with the interchangeable women. Miss me. She's running around the woods grieving Boyd. Maybe burying him.

Anyway. There's drama! Alphas! Ice bathes! Root cellars! The canon nonsense. Derek gives up the alpha powers still because that matters later for my plot so i guess Cora is around somewhere. Being vaguely poisoned.

Except that after it's all over Derek turns up in Stiles room to uuuuuh dance around an apology/explanation for the whole Ms. Blake misunderstanding and of course Stiles tells him that it's not his fault and there's uuuuuh... comforting. Where's the sheriff? Fuckin sleeping, dude had a rough night.

And then of course Stiles ruins the afterglow. Because he and Allison and Scott, they did something. And you don't get to fuck around with death magic without consequences. And for Stiles, lovely hella extra Stiles, who cares too much about everything it's that now he doesn't care at all. Not personally. He knows he should, he used to, that he can fake it for his dad and for Scott but he doesn't want to Have To fake it for Derek so he tells the truth.

Which naturally for Derek is a Big No. He's not gonna be with somebody who isn't with him, not really. It all touches on some weird consent and trauma issues and it's just bad news all around and everyone (really just Derek, cuz stiles isn't big on emotions RN) is real sad. Super sad. Pack up with my magically healed sister and ditch town sad.

And then of course comes stiles spiraling deterioration, because he wants to get mad about the whole thing but he can't and that just makes him want to get madder and things aren't going well and then nightmares hallucinations nemeton etc etc Possession. Cool. Literally do not talk to me about the creepy asylum sex or the coyote girl. Stiles' possessed, sleep deprived and drugged up to his eyeballs. It's problematic at best and I'm not about it. Too bad, not sad, don't care. Didn't happen.

Anyway. That's a whole rigamorole. Derek pops back into town, there are some tragedies, again canon nonsense not too caught up in the details here kids. And then! Since you can't be a wolf and a fox at the same time, the nogitsune is defeated and it turns out that when it puked stiles new body out in a pile of bandages, it kept his pretty little darkness all for itself. Convenient! Stiles has Feelings again y'all I could shed a tear.

Except that I WON'T because this is where I basically don't know the plot anymore. I just had to read Wiki plot summaries of the last 3 seasons, which are, ohmilordy, absolute fucking nonsense.

All the shit with the Calveras and Kate being a purple leopard and Derek being both de-aged and human, the Desert Wolf and Kira leaving and the benefactor and the mute and the Beserkers and Liam being introduced and Lydia figuring out the Banshee thing and whatever dumb Peter shit goes on ALL HAPPENS IN SEASON 4? MY GOD. Plus there's extra nonsense with bonfires and magical werewolf viruses and tea leaves that I didn't even KNOW about?

I feel like I deserve a medal for a 5 minute perusal. Anybody that watched all that shit deserves a fucking National Holiday named after them. And that's before all the nonsense with Theo and the Dread Doctors and the Nazi alpha that is apparently NEVER dealt with because of the Ghost Riders and Kate AND Gerard SOME MORE and then some dude named Monroe like Y'ALL.

Y'all.

The plots of this show are a fucking Rat King and Jeff Davis be shot.

Anyway.

Now I know that after Stiles gets his Feelings back, he keeps that shit to himself. Derek's got a lot going on. He's kidnapped! And then is a fetus! And he picks up a hot mercenary girlfriend somewhere and she teaches him how to use guns cuz he's a wooby human for a while. Basically all the plot anybody cares about picks up again in the van on the way to Mexico Part Duex.

Because that's the first time Stiles spends any real time alone (isnt liam passed out for most of it?) with Derek, and he got the feels, but Derek doesn't seem to be doing the weird chemosignal sniffing. (Does stiles know about the humanity in canon? Idc.)

So Derek doesn't appear to like... know. So stiles keeps keeping that shit to himself because it's Too Late anyway. Anything they might have had is long dead.

Speaking of dead! Derek gets gutted! Again y'all. And so of course Stiles is really missing the times when he didn't feel stuff because he loves Derek, fuck does he, and Derek is always a friggin martyr so instead of staying he lets braeden handle it and goes to save scott. With long seconds of forlorn staring and several glances back beforehand, of course. Aka what happened in canon.

So then Derek evolves like a Pokemon, as one does, and when stiles (hauling scott) comes out of the church he's just standing there in the moonlight in all his naked glory.

Stiles drops Scott. There's an affronted sounding 'oof' when he hits the ground, but it doesn't even register for Stiles because Derek's head whips around, nostrils flaring and Stiles knows that Derek Knows.

Stiles blinks and Derek is just there, right in front of him, one filthy hand cradling Stiles jaw.

"Why didn't you say something?" Derek asks and there's more than a little accusation in his voice. Stiles scoffs as dismissively as he can manage.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Hey Derek, surprise! I'm capable of loving you again, so you should break up with your hot, age appropriate girlfriend to go back to sneaking around with a teenage moron who may or may not ever actually tell anyone about you!'"

"Yes," Derek shrugs, and now there's definitely some affronted noises, both from Scott and from Braeden.

"Your girlfriend has a gun," Stiles points out, but it sounds weak to his own ears and Derek doesn't acknowledge it. Stiles is very focused on the rough pad of Derek's thumb tracing the thin skin under his eye. Derek's other hand clenches in the fabric of his shirt, hauling him closer. His own hands come up to curl around Derek's neck and tangle in his hair. It's gritty and greasy and Stiles couldn't care less; Derek's naked and throwing heat like a sauna pressed down the length of him. It's intoxicating against the freezing desert night and Stiles huddles closer.

"So kiss me already," he huffs, and Derek's answering grin is blinding for the split second he can see it before Derek jerks him in the final few inches. Stiles makes an embarrassing noise against Derek's mouth and can't bring himself to care.

Derek's hand slides down his back, settles in the curve of his spine and his fingers dig in. Stiles moans into his mouth again. He can't stop running his hands through Derek's hair, down his neck and shoulders, thinks vaguely he might be trying to climb him but it doesn't matter.

It's probably a long time, longer than Stiles would like to admit, but Lydia finally does interrupt them.

"As lovely as this reunion is, do you think we can go now?" She asks finally, voice strained. Stiles breaks away from Derek just enough to glance over and find her heaving slightly under Scott's weight. Scott, who looks extremely bemused and unhappy, but not terribly angry. Braeden, when he thinks to look for her, is straight up gone.

"Uh, yeah. Hang on," he turns back to Derek, "Do you have like, pants?"

There's more, with like feelings and stuff where Derek says he wants to be with Stiles more than he wants to leave beacon hills, and Stiles is like, deeply moved. And then physically moved because he still does the FBI internship program, Derek just goes with him and stays off the FBI most wanted list.

And that's that on this week's self indulgent bed time story. Now that I've done this I'll have to think of another one for tonight. Oh well.