#yes i know there are flaws with his disposal methods but i just really wanted to write smth

[fangedup]

Hide the bodies

Midnight.

It's raining by the time you leave, having spent well over an hour either pacing your home or staring at the news broadcast replaying on the television.

--The third death in the past two months, in which a body was found in a seemingly inconspicuous location. Like the other two, the body seems to have sustained extreme wounds, both pre and postmortem-

You nearly whipped the remote clean at the screen in that moment. Fuck, what else were you supposed to do? Try and drag them elsewhere? Risk being caught? You're new to this. And your cravings have only recently become.. worse.

Much worse.

You'd taken up half the night in search of something good. Something that could be labeled as a suicide, or a robbery gone wrong. But, still, what would they say about the wounds? So you'd traveled to the worse parts of town, filled with bodies that no one would miss. (Weren't the other three nobodies? And lo and behold, they were found. And reported. But in your defense, the areas were more populated.)

"Fuck, how the fuck am I supposed to get rid of a body," you mumble low in disdain, hands clenching in the pocket of your hoodie so tightly, your nails begin cutting into the palms. You take in a deep breath and exhale through the nostrils, continuing towards the large bridge overlooking the angry waters below.

You're lost in thought, but not so much so that you can't hear sniffles coming from ahead.

"Go ahead and dump his ass. Let him be fish food. Little fucker had all this time to get the money and he ain't got shit."

Uh-oh. Sounds like trouble.

Or a meal.

From where you're standing, it looks like something out of a movie. Two men stood over another man on the ground, hunched over in fear. From here, you can just make out the swelling and blood on his face. He sounds like he's begging -- please, I can get you the money, I just need more time

The other two have their back turned to you, but the one on the ground seems to have spotted you, and so you tug your hood further up. Can't have him seeing your face.

"Please, please help me-!"

Ah. Too loud. They turn around almost simultaneously, one reaching into the pocket of his coat and lifting a gun to level it straight at your head, of which you knock aside in the span of a breath; and land a particularly bone-crushing punch to his temple. One drops like a fly. The other shouts obscenities on you. Their victim scrambles to flee the scene. What a mess. But you can't have him yelling like that, can you? No matter how secluded the area.

Fingers dig into either side of his trachea and tear it clean out, leaving your victim crumbling in on himself, flopping on the ground ungracefully next to his unconscious friend. You advance on him in seconds, hands gripping his head and twisting it with a sickening snap. He goes quiet, goes still, and your teeth go right into his gaping wound.

It takes you far less time to eat, struck with the fear that a car will pass, that someone else has decided to take a nice stroll along the bridge at fucking midnight. But you take enough to the point the buzzing in your temples stops, and now you're left with not one, but two bodies.

It's then that Julian's words come to mind.

Sloppy as hell

Do better

He wants you to do better? Fuck, you'll do better.

Your first body, mauled beyond belief, with exposed bones and tendons and veins sticking to flayed flesh, is hoisted up and dumped over the railing to the roiling waves below. Ha. Funny how this was their plan to begin with. The second body, well. You grab hold of his head and snap his neck, too, for good measure, before he follows his friend down into the waters.

"Ver voce mais tarde, assholes."

It isn't your best, but... it's something. If they're found, the wounds can be blamed on the local shark sightings. You'll do better next time.

You will.

[plan-d-to-i]

Hi Plan! Love your blog, it’s very refreshing and I wanted to share my take on LWJ, LQR and WWX situation since you got some asks about it. So for quick background I was born in very catholic family and when I was growing up with very strict rules it was the most natural for me to follow them. I was always reading young LWJ in that way, when you have rules and are surrounded by people who also have the same principles it’s just that you don’t think outside of them. And when I went to like middle school I got some friends who *shocked face* thought differently (like WWX situation) and taking the most basic christianity rule I listened to them and didn’t judge them and I like to think that we influenced each other in our believes. We took time to read philosophy books and took ethic lessons after school and of course there were things we wouldn’t agree on but we reached a kind of middle ground and we are friends to this day (like 10 years). Now my grandmother who I identify as LQR type of person wouldn’t have it. She was talking my ear constantly, she invited a priest to talk to me when I told her that I do not believe we should condemn homosexual people and instead love them even if we believe them flawed because it’s not for us to judge others. She was trying very hard to change my mind by words and actions. When I took my friend to my birth city when she lives she forbid us to sleep in her house because “my friend is devil’s messenger” so we had to pay for a motel. Anyway it used to bother me because how could we understand the same rules and principles so differently? Now I mostly see my grandma 4 times a year and don’t really bother with her opinions because I strongly believe that I’m right. Long story short I believe that LQR and his understanding of rules had big impact on LWJ when he was young but by confronting himself with outside world LWJ took the rules and made them his own. So later when WWX is reborn LQR doesn’t have anything to say about anything. Because he doesn’t have any power, he’s just a lonely angry old man.

ooof. Anon, thank you for your kind words, but if you've been reading my blog for a bit then you might know that I'm not a terribly big fan of relating the story so directly to your personal life, as that may tint your views of the characters in a way the novel does not intend. Your grandmother sounds.... difficult. I have little doubt growing up under such an influence is as well, and establishing your own opinions more so, so I'm sorry. But LQR is not your grandmother. The Lan Clan rules are not Christianity or Christianity adjacent. LQR is not homophobic. The Lan Clan is not like a Christian camp. The Wall of rules is not like the Bible. LQR has influence. He's not a lonely old man. LWJ and LXC do love him and respect him and he loves them back. Although he is perhaps a bit spicy. The Lan Clan rules have regulations about etiquette yes, but they also have a lot of very meaningful rules about how to treat other people and how to be a righteous person- not in a space daddy is judging ppl for being gay kind of way. Their rules are especially relevant because cultivators move through the world with more impressive abilities than normal people, so it's important that they don't forget their responsibility and abuse that power but rather try to use it to do good. And the Lan methods are working. LQR may be stuffy but he's invested in bettering people:

The Gusu Lan Clan had a great and famous old veteran named Lan Qiren, who the cultivation world widely considered to possess three special characteristics: traditionalism, inflexibility, and the ability to produce brilliant students through his strict instruction. Though the first two points led most to keep him at a respectful distance, and some to secretly dislike him, the last caused many to use every method at their wits’ disposal to send their children to him to receive his teachings. The Lan Clan had produced many outstanding disciples under his hand, and even children who had started as useless pieces of dog excrement were able to at least look respectable once they had studied in his classroom for one or two years.

Look at how the Lan Juniors are with the Mo family... Even when they're so berated that even WWX can't stand listening to it, they don't strike back in anger at them.

"The Lan juniors were still young and hadn’t had more than a couple of real-life experiences expelling walking corpses, so had not cottoned on to the fact that something here was strange until it was too late. They had no idea that there would be an evil spirit so vicious and fierce—at first, they had been guilt stricken, believing they had made some kind of oversight. Subject to such savage abuse from a woman so ignorant she couldn’t tell black from white and blue from red, they began to develop a sickly complexion. Since they had been born into a highly distinguished clan, they had never encountered anyone who dared treat them so terribly. Yet neither could they defend themselves: the teachings of the Gusu Lan Clan were extremely strict, and it was an unbreachable taboo to raise a hand against an ordinary person, who could not fight back. In fact, they weren’t even permitted to be rude. Thus, though their hearts tossed and turned with unhappiness, they all forced it down, suffocating themselves until their faces were tinged with green."

I mean contrast that with how Jin Ling treats others before his WWX glow up:

Prior to this, the Jin Clan had already possessed haughty airs and an inclination towards ostentatious displays of beauty and magnificence; because they had risen higher and higher these past few years, amassing even more wealth and power, their children had developed a tendency to run amuck. Even if the brats humiliated weaker clans, those clans could only swallow their anger and hold their tongues. These small village cultivators stood even less of a chance, so though this youth’s language was cutting and the cultivators’ faces were flushed red, they dared not bite back.

The middle aged man calmly and respectfully said, “Please, Young Master, help us out and free us.”

The youth, impatient that his prey was taking so long to appear, vented his anger on the country bumpkins. Clenching his fist, he said, “How about you just hang here? That way you won’t randomly run around and get in my way! Once I’m done catching the soul-eating creature, I’ll cut you down, if I still remember.”

If they were forced to hang here the whole night and whatever was prowling around Dafan Mountain happened to find them, they had no hope of getting away. Their souls would be sucked dry. The round-faced girl who had given Wei Wuxian the apple became scared and started crying loudly.

Incidentally this is the same round faced girl WWX finds feeding rabbits in the Lan Clan rabbit meadow! because she's joined the Lan Clan. (^.~)☆

The flushing young woman was still staring blankly at Wei Wuxian, not knowing what to say. Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes, finding her vaguely familiar. After a moment, he suddenly recalled, wasn’t that round-faced young woman precisely the one he had encountered on the road just after he had just left the Mo household and again at Dafan mountain?

...

Wei Wuxian thought to himself, “How come Lan Zhan is feeding rabbits? How old was he when he started raising them? Does he come holding a little basket like this?”

Putting these overly cute images away from his mind, Wei Wuxian had another question, “You’re now a disciple from the Gusu Lan Sect?”

The young woman shyly answered, “Mmh.”

Wei Wuxian, “The Gusu Lan Sect is pretty good. When did you join?”

Stroking the white fur of a rabbit, she replied, “Not long after the events of Dafan moutain…”

Ok back to Jin Ling who strikes again:

Just as the quack was about to speak, Wei Wuxian suddenly felt the wind from an imminent attack sweep in from behind him. He dodged sideways.

Though he had dodged successfully, the swindling quack went flying and smashed into someone’s streetside pinwheel stand. Some bystanders helped him up, while others picked up the fallen merchandise. The entire area was thrown into confusion. The quack intended to berate his attacker, but upon seeing that the one who had kicked him was a wealthy and respectable young master, covered head to toe in glittering golden light, his imperious attitude deflated somewhat. Glancing at the boy a second time, he saw the Venus above the Billowing Snows white peony embroidered on his chest, and his attitude deflated entirely. However, he still couldn’t stomach being kicked for no reason. He asked feebly, “Why did you kick me?”

The young master was none other than Jin Ling. Crossing his arms, the boy said coldly, “Kick you? Anyone who dares utter the name “Wei Wuxian” around me should kneel before me in gratitude if I don’t kill them! And here you were shrieking and hollering it here in the middle of the street. Are you looking to die?!”

This kind of behavior (and jiang cheng's and Su She for ex) is what the Lan Clan is trying to prevent in its disciples. Sure some of their rules about posture can seem silly but there's a lot of good there:

Do not succumb to rage.

Do not fear the strong.

Do not bully the weak.

Do not disrespect the elder.

Do not disrespect the younger.

Do not take advantage of your position to oppress others.

Do not mix public and private interests.

Uphold the value of justice.

Shoulder the weight of morality.

Embrace the entirety of the world.

Perform acts of chivalry.

Do not attach yourself to those in power and influence.

Do not be a follower of the rich and powerful. etc.

WWX trusts in this foundation too when they're investigating JGY:

Wei WuXian played with the bookmark in his hands before giving it back to him, “Your brother received quite a big shock.”

With care, Lan WangJi put the dried herb peony back into the book. He shut the pages, “Now that he has found the evidence, he will not tolerate this.”

Wei WuXian, “Of course. He’s your brother after all.”

No matter how close of a relationship Lan XiChen and Jin GuangYao had, he was still from the GusuLan Sect and had his own principles.

LWJ hasn't left the Lan Clan rules behind at the end of the novel, he still sees value in them. (He's even trying to get WWX to adjust to a regular sleep schedule...to no avail lol). He's just become more moderate about them. They also don't go against WWX's morality or world views or he would not have settled there. Now I would say this is a good chance to look into: Confucianism, Buddhism, and Daoism for a broader perspective! („• ֊ •„)

[stillness-in-green]

Thoughts on Chapter 314 (and surrounding events)

Being a loose summary of several things I thought about in relation to the leaks, what they say about the series as a whole, a bit of new operating headcanon on the Peerless Thief, and a dash of how fandom is responding to the revelations. Spoilers, obviously.

This chapter makes it quite clear that the HPSC absolutely would have gone in and eliminated the PLF quietly, lethally, and wholly unlawfully if Hawks hadn't reported back the numbers that he did. The only reason the raid involved non-Commission-affiliated heroes at all is because the PLF's manpower was simply too much for the Commission to deal with via their usual methods. I'm both appalled that the disregard for human rights in HeroAca Land is somehow even worse than I thought it was and smug that that tiny little piece I recently posted criticizing the PLF's treatment has turned out to be totally justified and supported by the canon.[1] (Note that this does not absolve Horikoshi of the responsibility to, himself, treat the PLF better than paper dolls tossed into the incinerator of Plot Irrelevance when they cease being convenient to his story.) The fact that the Commission was forced to involve heroes might mean Re-Destro, Mr. Compress and the others are somewhat safer than might otherwise be the case. Because of the involvement of the unsuspecting stooges law-abiding heroes, and because the botched raid became such a huge disaster, there’s far more public scrutiny on this than would otherwise be the case. Of course, "accidents" can still happen,[2] especially in a chaotic environment, but the factors above (combined with Clone!RD murdering the bejeezus out of the Lady Prez) do, I think, suggest that there probably isn't an organized push for quick solutions going on behind closed doors.

I don't think Nagant has been around for a terribly long time or that there was an uptick in vigilantism in recent years—I think the scene where she mentions vigilantes becoming accepted as heroes is just in reference to the early history of heroism. It's in keeping with what Tsukauchi Makoto described in Vigilantes, and forms the basis of the current system—the current system that Nagant was a single cog in a big machine grinding away to preserve.

Speaking of Nagant and the system, it's interesting to me that one of the groups Nagant apparently targeted at the HPSC's behest was corrupt heroes—those who colluded with villains or specifically goaded/incited civilians into using their quirks illegally, thus turning civilians into capital-V Villains in the eyes of the law. One might easily say that targeting corrupt heroes (albeit using a much broader definition of "corrupt") was Stain's whole shtick, but it actually puts me more in mind of the Peerless Thief, Harima Oji. Harima punished greedy or corrupt heroes with theft, and presumably with a measure of declaration and exposure,[3] then distributed their money back to the streets. Someone who ridicules those who abuse their power, and gets away with it for long enough to build a reputation: that right there is a recipe for a folk hero. The HPSC, in whatever form they existed at the time, obviously couldn't let that go on—such repeated humiliations would weaken peoples’ faith in (and obedience to) the system the HPSC was trying to build. At the same time, though, it would also weaken faith in the system to openly acknowledge that system's flaws, to acknowledge that some pretty awful people had found their way into the heroics business specifically for the power and ability to abuse it that the title of Hero afforded them. Public trials would make it a matter of record that some heroes—and, accordingly, heroes at large—did not deserve the public's unquestioning faith. Obviously in a system that was built from the ground up on faith, that was unacceptable. And so Harima was branded a supervillain for exposing the system's flaws, while the corrupt heroes who embodied those flaws to begin with were—and continue to be—quietly disposed of at the HPSC’s discretion.

There's a lot of talk around about how Lady Nagant is stupid, or hypocritical, or delusional, or whatever other dismissive adjective people want to use, because she expresses a preference for AFO's rule over the HPSC's. Firstly, I think it's dubious Lit Crit to fault a character for not being a Paragon of Rationality, especially when they're under the cascading stressors Nagant has been under since she was, what, 13? 14? Forced to live this dichotomy of smiling gallant hero and ruthless covert assassin, had her life threatened by the man who'd taken her in,[4] probably dumped in Tartarus until such time as her trial could be held,[5] and kept in those ghastly, dehumanizing conditions for who knows how long? How shocking, that her objectivity might be somewhat compromised! Secondly, it's not like she's saying that AFO's rule would be a sunny walk in the park. The kanji she uses doesn't even mean "better"; while it can mean serene or tranquil, her more likely meaning is clear/transparent. Her phrasing indicates that she's aware it would be pretty bad; she's simply of the opinion that at least his rule wouldn't be a sham, a pretty lie. It would be bad, but everyone would know it. No one would have these comforting illusions they could lose at any time; if you stepped out of line and got shot in the head by an assassin, well, at least you would probably know you that being defiant was running that risk, rather than never seeing it coming because you'd been told all your life that Heroes Didn't Do That To People. Again, this is a woman whose life was shattered no less than three times by the duplicity of the highest acting authority in this comic.[6] She doesn't have to be Objectively Correct By The Standards Of Ethical Utilitarianism—nor do you have to agree with her choice that because she doesn’t want to live in the Matrix, no one else should get to either—for her opinion to make sense from her own perspective! Thirdly, while I think it's fair to say that the HPSC and AFO actually use fairly similar methods to recruit followers and punish dissenters, we have no idea how much Nagant herself knows about AFO's recruitment tactics other than her own brief experience of it. And while AFO is a controlling and manipulative bastard, at least in his case it's coming from a man who openly styles himself as a Demon King, not an organization positioning itself as lawful regulators of the protectors of society at large while secretly training child soldiers to flagrantly violate every law protecting the human rights and due process of that society's people.

Overhaul's presence is delightful, and yes, he is a victim of Hero Society, if only because Hero Society could have put him in some kind of prison-based rehab facility after Shigaraki was through with him, but chose to dispose of him in Tartarus instead, for absolutely no justifiable cause. I suspect it's only due to Horikoshi not being very interested in the harsh realities of the trauma caused by enforced isolation[7] that Overhaul is the only Tartarus escapee that talks to himself and has dissociated from reality almost completely. Overhaul's maiming was not the fault of Hero Society, nor did Hero Society force him to torture Eri and repeatedly commit cold-blooded murder. But his madness? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable laying that one at Hero Society's feet, actually. I can’t wait for Deku to have to face the victim that Chisaki Kai has become due to levels of systemic cruelty and negligence that really ought to be criminal—and which, if this were real life, would be.

--------Lately, footnotes are really popular with us!--------

[1] Lady Nagant: *talks about how the Hero Society everyone believes in is illusory, a thin fake over a brutal reality, and that returning to the false simplicity of that status quo will only cause history to repeat itself* Me, two weeks ago: Hero Society will never stop creating its own villains so long as, every time it fails people, it does nothing but shrug and write off the victims as unavoidable, inevitable sacrifices for the greater good.

[2] Yes, I'm still highly suspicious of the "Destro committed suicide in prison" claim.

[3] Compress tells us Harima “preached reformation,” but regardless, you don’t dress up in a modified kabuki costume and waltz midair through nighttime cityscapes raining cash out of the sky if you’re trying to keep your activities a secret.

[4] And her family situation couldn't have been much better than Hawks', if she was targeted by the HPSC to begin with. I would guess she was an orphan in the childcare system, easy to move from whatever alternative care arrangement she was in, be it an orphanage, a group home, or simply mature enough despite her relative youth that she lived alone on government support payments—that kind of thing isn't as unbelievable in Japan as it is in the U.S.—to the HPSC's care.

[5] And given what we learned between this chapter and 297, I doubt she was even allowed to be present for it. Japanese law states that everyone by default is supposed to be present for their own trial, but as in the U.S, that right can be waived if the defendant proves themselves to be a threat to the safety of the judge, court staff and other attendees. And of course, what a threat the HPSC could have painted her as being!

[6] At least until Hori deigns to show us a damn Diet session.

[7] To say nothing of the physical consequences of spending six months stuck in a tiny room with no natural light while frequently being strapped into a straitjacket, of which there should also be several.

[wormmomma]

MIDSOMMAR SPOILER REVIEW: this movie fucking broke me

CW:RAPE, ABUSE, PEDOPHILLIA

“Midsommar” is a grimm fairytale of sorts. A fairly different homage to the cult film the “wicker man”. “The wicker man” is about a european cult being investigated by a british christian cop, “midsommar” avoids the christian indictment of pagan/occult religious practices. midsommar attempts to be an out and out horror film unlike the a genre bending murder mystery/horror/thriller roots of “The wicker man”. Director ari aster obviously wanted to add to the annals of folk horror by creating an ambitious beautifully horrific and sometimes downright psychedelic film. Ari aster wanted to make a film where you can’t hide from the horror as it all happens in front of you. It's also a breakup movie for some reason? As someone who has seen the theatrical cut twice and the director's cut once I can assure you it misses the mark when taking both concepts. If you're wondering  whether not to watch the film i think that on a technical level “midsommar” is beautiful and has amazing cinematography, but the answer is yes, but no. Jordan Peele was shown an advance copy of the film and told Aster "I think you’ve made the most idyllic horror film of all time" that high praise. But that  being said for personal reasons this will be my final time seeing the film. I think the director's cut is a gorgeous and amazing three hour film. But as someone personally affected by rape, pedophillia, and the victimization mentally or physically handicapped people i cant reccomend this film wholeheartedly. I'm far from squeamish and love films that revel in shock, horror and extremity but I cannot in good conscious recommend a film I almost walked out on. I think Ari Aster has backpedaled immensely in his ability to create horror that exhibits empathy for his characters and the triumphs and tragedies that he subjects them too. “Hereditary” had an amount of emotional pathos for its characters that was almost completely removed from “Midsomer”. The fim feels unreasonably cruel even for a horror movie. Although enjoyable, proceed with caution “Midsommar” is a beautiful, slow, horrific but ultimately controversial mess of a film. 8/10

 (the rest of this review is a plot synopsis and a meditation on the more controversial passages in the movie and is to be read for those who have actually seen midsommar. Spoilers abound!) 

So what’s it  about? 

Midsommar is about Dani, an anxious and vulnerable young woman dating an emotionally abusive and reserved boyfriend named christian. After her bipolar sister commits suicide and murders both there parents, Dani goes on a european excursion with cristian with his anthropologist friends as they study a swedish cults midsommar summer solstice tradition. Dani reeling not only from having her parents taken from her by their favorite child, but also from the lack of any real emotional support goes on a gorgeous, psychedelia, induced nightmare of the cult horror variety. Immediately after touching down on the swedish cult's beautiful grassy commune christian manipulates dani into taking psychedelics. Christian although quite emotionally stunted and quite meek at his core is very sly and amazing at working people. Watching Christian make Dani do psychedelic drugs (mushrooms i believe) to make her clear refusal to take them into something that not only affects christian but also his friends and everyone around them is almost scary in its hilariously methodical toxicity. This leads to dani having a panic attack and from there the hits just keep on coming. Dani then has to watch as two cultist commit ritual suicide. This traumatic incident further escalated when one jumped off the mountain on his leg and needed to have his head crushed by cult members till it turns to meat and dust. To make a long three hour story with icelandic pacing short lets race to the finish line:

Christian begins to be pursued by a cult member named maja. Dani still reeling from seeing two people commit suicide has her worries invalidated by christian and all of his anthropologist bros. The anthropology bro argues about who deserves to break basically every rule of basic anthropology as they try to see who gets PAID for perverting a culture they were invited to study not disturb. Christian eats one of majas pubes. After pissing on a ceremonial tree for the dead, and taking photos of the forbidden religious text (written by an inbred autistic oracle boy) our two american secondary characters are chopped off. Dani and christian are the final outsiders left standing. Dani joins a dance competition (yes really) and becomes this year's may queen. forever to be immortalized in the annals of white female faces shown in portraits plastered in the sleeping quarters of this matriarchal cult commune. Christian is then raped as we discover how all the bodies of our other character are disposed of. Dani, inebriated and vulnerable, discovers christian being raped by the cult and forced to sleep with the 16 year old maja. Disgusted dani vomits and syncs her cries of pain with the cult sister and finally has her trauma validated. She is given the choice to then murder christian as hes trapped in a paralyzed state. Dani decides to burn christian alive in the body of a bear, finally defeating and overcoming her emotional abuser. Dani smiles as the cult writhes in pain from the death of the cult members burning alive with christian.Dani is happy. She has family. She is home.

So lets (finally) talk about maja

“Look at it from an academic perspective it would provide a unique glimpse into our sexual rights.”

“Can i not have a unique glimpse without participating?”

This is a conversation that is awkwardly cut from the theatrical version of midsommar. Christian is being offered to have sex with maja. Maja is a sixteen year old girl. The closest aster ever comes to revealing this fact is offhandedly mentioning maja having her first period. Christian refuses sex and is raped by maja, and the cult while a fourteen year old disabled child watches. There's a lot wrong with this scene. I’ll be honest for personal reasons I was really disgusted by this scene. I feel like im projecting but rape and pedophellia are really delicate topics and should be treated sensitivity. Ive seen alot of extreme very difficult horror films, i've seen rape, pedophillia, and violence explored in meaningful interesting and empathetic ways even ari asters own work like “meet the johnsons”. But watching maja rape christian with what i would assume are her older siblings, aunts, grandmothers, mother and other cult members as a 14 year old boy watches just made me feel fucking dirty. The weird part: it isn't horrific. While cristian was being raped, the audience I was watching it with were laughing. It wasn't scary. it was funny. It's a cognitive dissonance. The audience isn't aware of christians being raped or majas age. Most people assume he's cheating and deserves to be burned alive by dani. Making christian the bad guy of his own a rape is horrific but i shouldn’t need to hunt down that information and watch the film three times to understand that. It makes the movie feel as if its really bad at relaying basic information, at worst it's dishonestly hiding it to make the film more palatable. After putting all the pieces together I was disgusted. Ari aster crossed a line. I felt queasy and never wanted to see this film ever again. The fact ari aster could have made maja of age, or take the disabled 14 year old out the scene entirely, or not have had christian be raped in the first place while reaching a more understandable and tragic ending annoys me to know end, it feel like i watched these characters be used and mistreated for no reason. Just to shock me. It lacks value, it’s  gross and uninteresting. much like christian and everyone involved i feel violated and it's really hard for me to enjoy watching what is an otherwise (although flawed) very interesting and compelling work or art. I’m  still morbidly curious of the next film ari aster makes but i really hope he learns for this mistake and doesn't objectify children in another weird fetishistic male rape comedy routine. It just leaves me confused, disgusted and only makes it more challenging to analyze the more interesting implications of the film. I really appreciated hereditary as someone who has a very emotionally abusive family and has a very hard time processing death. I found hereditary horrific as it is cathartic. As someone who had to quite recently confront a pedophile, midsommar just left me hurt, and trapped. I was reliving some of the worst parts of my trauma as an audience sits around and laughs at it. It all felt so tragic and meaningless. I want to actually give ari asters work an honest critique but he's produced the only work of film that really hurt me and left me feeling violated. I really love his work and I know I'm exaggerating but I hope art never has such a negative effect on my mental health or anyone else’s ever again. I don't blame Maja or christian or the actor who portrayed them. I respect their performances although I have zero respect for how utterly tasteless midsommar ended up being for me. I think I need to learn how not to take art so seriously and try not to invest myself in other people's work. It's a difficult habit to kick. Needless to say, I cannot recommend this movie. If you're able to separate art from the artist and read this whole review without watching the film you're not a bad person for watching it, midsommar is a compelling, difficult experience.

I hope you enjoyed this review and I'm sorry if it got wayyy too personal in the end there. The movie clearly struck a raw nerve for me. if you enjoy this or any review  i've dones let me know. I may reveiw hereditary in the future.if your also having issues with death, rape, abuse or mental health i hope this review didnt make it worse. Everyone is deserving of love, family, community and I hope everyone can find that. Have a good day, and have a safe quarantine.   

[myhackerbuddy]

ANOTHER STORY

RAY’S ROUTE

Ray/Saeran is one hell of a character. For me, he’s one of the most pitiful who deserve more love from us. He might be an antagonist in casual and deep story, but in Another Story he’s just a boy who is lost and manipulated.

You’ve been chosen as a tester for his game where you’ll chat RFA members and act as the party coordinator. Ray will introduced his self as the creator, and offers you to stay in his place as you play his game. He’s a nice and sweet guy who cooks for you and give you flowers as his token of appreciation for testing his game. Though we know that he’a slowly developing feelings for the MC. He will visit your chatroom from time to time, and also pay you a visit in your room. He’ll always remind you that they are AI, and has comments every time you say they are nice and all. He clearly despise all of them that it’s entertaining.

However, his feelings seems to be a threat as the Savior slowly notices Ray being out of focus. She would order her believers to bring twice his elixir intake just so she can twist his mind off. Ray notices but as devoted as he is to the Savior, he drinks it despite his complains.

As you finally enter his route, he will not let you undergo the Cleansing Ceremony because he cares for you. He knows how painful it is and he doesn’t want you to experience that excruciating pain. So he gave you a complete imitation of elixir, telling you to drink it instead of the ‘real elixir’, in case the Savior will give you one.

Ray, as much as how nice and dedicated he is on doing his duty to ‘fight’ his brother from hacking, the Savior still notices the sudden change of Ray’s behavior so she held a sudden ceremony where they would force them to take elixir until the person is finally in a ‘correct’ state of mind.

In Day 8, he appeared to be completely different. He visits you to tease you, and calls you a toy, an airhead and good-for-nothing. In able to wake his other persona, the Savior calls him weak, and attack his imperfections and dark past just so he’ll feel bad and insecure.

Saeran is made from hatred. In able to keep him awake, he trolls and insult the MC, because by doing that he’ll feel stronger. That way he won’t feel someone can ever torment him. He get his strength by being mean and by showering him that he’s strong. The Savior will always remind him that he is strong, completely different when it’s Ray. It all depends if you are going to let him toy you or you’ll remain quiet. However Saeran admitted it to his self and in front of MC that all his words were not meant for her, but to him. All of those were his mother’s words.

This realization was all thanks to V, who tried to talked to him when Saeran’s in hiding and so confuse. Though V failed to fully convinced him, he saw a glimpse of hope when he mentioned being free together with the MC. I want to commend V for this route as he work so hard to fix his faults, regardless of endless claiming that he should be the one to blame. Zen and V’s conversation is really intense. Zen made its way to V’s heart by sharing his own experience about accepting his flaws and by choosing what he want, even by crossing in the hard road. He made sense on how things weren’t always in our grasp. That even if we shower our love to someone, if they won’t accept it, then they will not be able to understand you.

V claims that he failed to give Rika the love she deserve, and insisted to being the fruit of the cause. However, Zen brushed it off, saying he shouldn’t be harsh on his self and stop blaming his self. For once, he should stand up right and do what a true leader should be, and that is to correct his faults and not carry all the burden.

I understand V’s point, that he wanted to protect Rika. He, too, realized that he can’t protect her and RFA at the same time without revealing the truth. So he told in the chatroom about Seven’s identity, with Yoosung on the ears. It’s a shocking news for him, but the truth made Yoosung feel sympathy to him. He didn’t know how much burden V has been carrying. He’s able to get a little trust by Yoosung, but V didn’t really disclosed who’s the one controlling and manipulating Saeran. I still think V wanted to hide it at this point maybe because he wants to hope he still can save her. But we know he can’t. Rika, will remain as she is if she won’t seek for others light. She needs to love herself to be free from darkness. A simple talk would not work. He needed Jumin’s power but he can’t talk to him because Jumin’s being interviewed like Zen.

The last call (outgoing) from Seven was at Day 10, after the chatroom at 1:00 am something. When you call him, he quickly responded saying he is not in his house and you should comeback later when he’s home. It’s obvious that he’s making it up to cover you, hinting that you should delete all your data concerning him because you might get in trouble. You’ll know that he’s been taken and that they wanted him to drop the call. Seven, in the end, saved you from being involved that makes it more frustrating. The other members can’t reach him, even V.

I’m guessing it’s his father, but it can also be their agency since Vanderwood’s also involved. Either way, they are still in danger.

Rika would sneak every chatroom you are in, and you’ll know Saeran is back but very sick. Savior said that he came back and drunk all the elixir, the reason why he’s unconscious. But the elixir is not effective anymore because he finally realize the truth.

I’m so concerned with the twins, but I had a bad feeling about what V could do. He can pull off his sacrifice thing again just so the MC and Saeran can escape. I’ve been getting hints from his text messages and calls, like he’s saying goodbye.

I hated the fact that Seven’s nowhere to be found, and V will soon be in trouble. I know the story is yet to finish, as Saeran’s After Ending is still in the process, but it’s so frustrating if you’ll be left just like that.

At this point Saeran was truly enlightened. I am so happy for this, though Rika is really pitiful. The truth is, she’s trying to create a world where no one can ever step on her. She collected Believers in exchange of having an excuse to make it seems like she’s guiding them in the right path. Rika is the one who’s afraid to go outside. She’s the one who’s dark, coward and is incapable to do anything without someone’s command. That is her inner demon who keeps on blinding her. The Believers and Saeran is her way to shield her to the outside world.

She’s basically becoming like her parents. Different method, but same outcome. She had it bad.

Turns out that V has decided to sacrifice again. He went to Rika and told her he’s ready to love her again, and that he now knows how to love her... This made me so frustrated again.

V is being selfless, but is that the right thing to do? I thought he came to his senses. And his call made me feel like it’s the MC’s fault lol. He said that he finally know what true love is because of you, but he’s commiting the same mistake again. If you will look at it, if V will do everything what Rika ask him, he’ll end up in vain. He’ll suffer. If that’s his way for correcting his faults, then I want to shout at him for being fool.

Can’t we all save them in one route? I truly hope Saeran’s After Ending will help us save V too. Seven is another thing, but V is their second father. I felt his sense of responsibility in this route. As a father who had faults, he tried to protect them, and did everything to save them. Though I hated his way.

I don’t think we should hate V for this, as we know his own issue (that is, if you played his route). Unlike the other, V tried to move straight, even with loads of burden to carry. He’s a man with principle, and that is to protect everyone. However, hiding the truth will only stop him from moving forward.

But let’s give him the credit of researching about the twin’s father, plus he’s been going back and fort in monitoring you in Mint Eye and making sure Seven and the others are okay. He’s not perfect, but he’s one hell of a character too.

Yes the road is still far from reaching the goal. RFA doesn’t have a slightest idea about Rika’s whereabouts, and is still busy tracking Seven and planning about the prime minister. And then they have to save V too.

Normal Ending

The video got blocked so Jumin proceeded to his Plan B. That is to bring Saeran and the MC to his vacation place. That way, he can secure their safety as the prime minister tried to fix the mess. The one who blocked is no other than Seven’s agency. This made me think that the agency is holding Seven and Vanderwood captive. They’ve been hinting that one wrong move and the agency will blow them out. Be it on failing a mission or getting into mess, Seven created a huge violation to the agency. He was accepted because he stated that he doesnt have any relatives left. And by the agency blocking the video that contains the truth, it’s obvious that they didn’t like it. This made me worry about Seven and Vanderwood.

It’s a bittersweet ending for me. Magenta is untraceable, V and Seven is missing. However, Saeran and the MC has been living peacefully and planning for their future, completely ignoring all the problems that they left behind.

Good Ending

It was a success. The prime minister got jailed and the twins were the talked of the town. However, Seven’s still missing. Probably the agency is the one who held them captive, and worst, they’ve been disposed before they know it, after they blew the truth.

Or maybe... Seven escaped and is in hiding from the agency. We’ll know in AE for sure. Also, we don’t know if Seven’s really leaving traces of him so they can find him fast, as Saeran stated when he found the place on the same day by hacking. It’s also because Saeran’s a naturally genius too like Seven. We can’t really tell who’s better in hacking, all I know is they are invincible if they work together.

The RFA didn’t gave up. They went to the old place were they lived and tried to investigate if there are traces of Seven there. Saeran felt suffocated that’s why he went out with MC to talked about his brother.

He may not said it, but I think Saeran already forgive him for leaving. He knew he’s been used and brainwashed. He also knew the reason why he left: V made Seven an informant to protect him.

The MC then gave him his bookmark for Seven, the one V brought and tried to give when they first met.

This made me wonder... Rika and V’s appearance made me wonder what they are planning next. First, they got rid of Magenta and went to the old house to dispose it too. They visited it before they left. Their destination? It remains a mystery.

We don’t really know what Rika is planning. She’s not yet done, that’s for sure. Remember how she wanted to get a hold of the RFA members? Even with V by his side. I can’t help not to connect it to the Secret Ending.

Even if she’ll blind and limp him, she won’t be contented. Unless V find a way to save her. But that’s only possible if he’ll realize his flaws: the obsession and they way he view what love is.

In the end he sacrifice again for the sake of the RFA members. It was a selfless move as a leader, but very selfish for the members to keep the secret and leave the issue in his hand.

The mystery will continue to Saeran’s After Ending. And I suggest to ready your heart as well as your hourglasses.

Farm as many hg as you can, because I feel like it’ll be a big one just like how they created V’s AE. Maybe the reason that it’s taking long to finish is because they are trying to polish it perfectly, so as we wait for it to finish let’s uncover some of the Bad Endings and Rika’s Story first.

[feuillesmortes]

weird but TWQ TV show make be interested in H7. I only read T. Penn book & liked very much. I know he is more focused on the last decade of his reign and I have a few flaws. (it's only one available in my language) I've started read Chrimes but English is difficult sometimes.We know is worth reading more than one historical figure bigraphies. Sadly recently see that in historical fandom Penn book p eople treated how to said almost like P Gregory book. brush off this book :( I fake fan of h7

Hello, anon! I’m still having some technical problems so this answer might not be as long as I’d want it to be, but here it goes: I think it’s completely alright to like Penn’s biography of Henry VII. Like many other things, you can enjoy it and still be critical of it. My only issue with his work is the one Breverton pointed out: it focuses too much on his last decade of reign and it makes it seem like Henry was harsher than he actually was. This is a synopsis of the documentary based on Penn’s The Winter King:

“Author Thomas Penn’s fascinating portrait of the enigmatic Henry VII exposes the Tudor king’s sinister world and the ruthless methods he employed to win and stay on the throne.”

I’m sorry, sinister? Ruthless? Henry was too merciful and lenient in the eyes of his contemporaries (Ferdinand and Isabella, for instance, who constantly marvelled at why Henry had not executed Perkin Warbeck up until they pushed for it?). He took the boy Lambert Simnel into his care, even Perkin Warbeck he didn’t execute at first and welcomed into his household (because he had promised that if Warbeck turned himself over his life would be spared). It was only after caving in to Spain’s demands when dealing with Catherine and Arthur’s marriage that Henry had to dispose of the Earl of Warwick. Compared to Richard III, that reigned only 2 years and passed 104 acts of attainder (virtually, political death), Henry attainted 138 men in 24 years (46 of these were reversed, so really 92 acts in total).

(Also, needless to say, there was nothing ruthless or sinister about how he won the throne. He challenged Richard with an mixed army of volunteers and mercenaries and won the battle).

So my only problem with Penn’s biography is that I feel it resorted a bit too much to sensationalism, verged a little bit too close to popular history. In order to make Henry interesting to the general audiences, Penn made him into this ruthless winter king. The idea sticks: I was on ao3 the other day and saw a couple of fics working on this premise — “X happened. How will the ruthless winter king react/what will he do?”

Don’t get me wrong, Henry really did get more selfish and money-oriented at the end of his life/reign. But Henry was never cruel for cruelty's sake, especially when compared with his predecessor and successor. He was aloof, yes, and perhaps not charismatic enough, but that doesn’t make him sinister. But again, I don’t think Penn’s biography is bad per se. Every work has its flaws — Chrimes’ is a bit outdated nowadays and Breverton’s doesn’t focus enough on Henry’s relationships and there are a few factual errors, for instance. Just have that in mind when reading it and if possible, try to read other works as well, but don’t beat yourself over it. 🌹x

[lemonjoonah]

Artificially Inclined - Pt 3

Title: Artificially Inclined (A.I.) Word Count: 6K Rating: M Genre: Android AU, Assassin AU, Scifi, Romance (smut), Drama, Thriller Warnings: Violence, Disability Discrimination, Drug Use, Sexual Reference Pairings: Maknae Line x Reader (Primarily Jungkook x Reader)   Pairings (in this chapter):  Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You took Jungkook on as a project, something to help you pass the time in your exile. How could you have known that he would become such a big part of your life? That he would see you as his entire reason for existence, and the only method for his survival. When an outsider, V, is forced into your life, after learning of the secret that keeps you hidden away, relationships shift and tension grows high. After all, how can you expect Jungkook to share your attention when he’s held it for so long?

A/N: Just a forewarning there is going to be a major tone shift two thirds of the way through this chapter. It’s a POV switch, which is written in true first person (as opposed to the modified version I sometimes write in).  I considered splitting it off into another chapter but in order for you to get the full view of what’s happening I decided to keep it all together. Enjoy!

Chapter 3 - Execution Flaw

Present 9:40 am December 4th, 2054

POV (Y/N)

“I would like you to ask me Noona. If it happens again, I want to help you.”

You find yourself repeating, ‘he doesn’t know what he’s asking,’ over and over in your mind until you find a way to resolve his request. ...Jungkook what do you feel towards me? When you see me what is your first reaction?...

“I want to assist you.”

...Would you ever deny me a request?...

“Of course not Noona.”

...Then I’m sorry but I can’t ask you to help me. I know you say that you want to, but you do not yet possess the components that equate to consent in this matter...  The explanation you give is formal but it’s the best you have.

“And what are those components?” Jungkook’s eagerness weighs on you, it’s as if he expects to receive a simple answer that will clarify everything. 

...There are a few but I suppose the basics would consist of love, desire, and the ability to refute...

“The update that Hyung gave you, will that not solve these issues?”

...I’m not sure Jungkook, I need to look at the coding first. I don’t want to walk into this blindly...

“May I look at it?”

...I think it’s best if I hold onto it for now...

“It would be more efficient for me to examine the software.”

...Jungkook, it would make me happy if you dropped the subject... You cringe internally as you write those words but you find yourself unsure of how else to get him to change the conversation. You don’t want to even risk him even seeing the coding in case he begins the update unintentionally after viewing the programming. He has a habit of latching on to so much information and then integrating it into his system. If he feels like something will improve his capabilities he will seek to upload it.

Jungkook goes silent, but watches your expression closely as you head towards the dining room for breakfast. Your plate is set at your seat stuffed to the edge with your favourites, while the rest of the table remains bare. Jungkook takes the seat next to you as your mind continues to dwell on his proposal.

“You’re not happy.”

You look back to Jungkook, confused by his statement.

...What do you mean?...

“You said that if I dropped the subject you would be happy.”

...Sorry, I was just thinking about tonight... Such a bold face lie, you scold yourself while taking a bite of an apple. Not wanting to meet his eyes you look to the toast rack next for a slice of whole wheat but today you find it empty.

“Would you like to discuss the schedule for the day?”

...Yes please anything to distract me...

“Your brother should arrive home in just over an hour. Followed by your meeting with him regarding your dissertation. Your parents will get in just before the party which will start at 8pm and then fly out again at 11pm. It appears they have also just sent you and Seokjin a joint email wishing you a Happy Birthday.”

Jungkook abruptly stops the rundown while his head tilts in the direction of the kitchen. This behaviour is nothing new, with his improved hearing he can often listen in on things that might be impossible for you to pick up.

He stands up from his seat and moves in the direction he was staring off into. “I’ll return shortly Noona.”

When he opens the door to the kitchen you can briefly hear the ruckus inside, before the door slams shut behind him again.

Jungkook returns a minutes later with an appliance in tow.   

...Jungkook why do you have a toaster?...

He looks down at the small device he’s cradling in hands. “I can fix it Noona.”

After giving you the vague answer, he sits back down and looks ominously at the door, until your head chef bursts forth to address you.

“Keep that mechanical pet of yours out of my kitchen!”

...Jungkook is allowed to go wherever he wishes. If he enters your kitchen there is obviously a reason for him to be there...

“He stole the toaster!”

...Jungkook why did you take it?...

“She was yelling at it and hitting it, I wanted her to stop. I can repair it.”

...If Jungkook wishes to fix the toaster I see no problem here...

“Fine he can keep the damn thing, I’ll just get a new one that actually works.”

As the cook returns to the kitchen you shake your head. You wish that occurrences like this were rare but unfortunately Jungkook has a habit of rubbing some people the wrong way. It’s not his fault, he’s just trying to help them. Why can’t they see that?

“She was going to throw it out Noona.” There is such distress in his voice that your frustration crumbles. You know that he worries that he will be treated the same one day. He only wants to show people the value of technology... even if it is a simple toaster.

...I know Jungkook...

“Why do humans dispose of things so quickly?”

...Because they don’t understand. They feel that it’s not worth their time fix something that’s broken...

“Why are you different Noona?”

...Because to them I am broken too... You identify far more with the appliance in Jungkook’s hands than the women who was trying to dispose of it.

“You are not broken Noona. You are living within the parameters of how you were made. You cannot give fault to the device, only the creator.”

...Thank you Jungkook...

...

After breakfast you begin prepping for your discussion with Seokjin, while also taking a glancing through his correspondence from the past year.

Dec. 7th, 2053

...I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I left you there. I just couldn’t stay, I couldn’t stand the thought of being in the house where we were lied to our whole lives for even a moment longer. I was selfish, I hadn’t considered what you might be feeling. Please let me know that you’re okay. I won’t be coming home for a while but I just need you to know that you are still my sister, my very brilliant sister.  

- Seokjin...

...

Dec. 31st, 2053

...Sorry I haven’t been able to visit. I’ll see if I can get some time off for the Lunar Holiday. I’m glad to hear that you are doing well. I have some fantastic news to share. The first of the new defence model units are coming off the production line. I am taking a couple semesters off from grad school to be involved with their development but they should be ready to go within a year! They never would have made it this far without out your insight, I just thought you, my brilliant sister, should know the incredible work you’ve done.

-Seokjin...

...

Feb. 8th, 2054

...Happy Lunar New Year! And again I must send my apologies. They’ve been keeping me busy here. One day I’ll bring you to the international factory to show you what you helped create. I know that I haven’t been home to discuss your work, trust me when I say that I miss those times too, but you can always send anything you wish to discuss to my dropbox. You may have to explain it to me though because there is no way I could ever live up to your brilliance.

-Seokjin...

...

June 23rd, 2054 (Message has been decrypted by JK0901)

...I’m sure you’ve guessed by now the reasons for the lack of communication, especially with it being all over the news. But I figured you would want me to confirm. There has been some push back with our new units from two extremist groups. The first is a religious organization called S(e)oul First, I would almost enjoy their cleaver name were it not for their antics. They claim that we are playing god, and taking innocent lives with our soulless creations, so their recourse has been to attack out our factories. We have managed to secure our production lines in classified locations but contact in and out must be limited and heavily encrypted, for fear of discovery.

The second group, known as Asimov's Law, has been trying to push that we bind all androids to rules set in popular fiction. I mean really, can you believe that? They have been relatively quiet recently, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they make their strike too. So please, I am begging you, stay by JK0901, and stay safe. I’ll contact you when I can.

-Seokjin...

...

Nov. 25th, 2054 (Message has been decrypted by JK0901)

...Thank you for all of your messages and updates. I can finally make a short trip back home for our birthday next week, although I suppose there will be some business mixed in too. I guess that party that our parents are throwing will also be the official public announcement of the military line, there will be several government officials in attendance. So much for our celebration right?  

But with this trip I’ll finally be able to discuss your progress with you in person. I must say I was surprised to see the direction you are taking your work. My flight gets in just after 10am so I’ll probably make it home around 11 shall we take some time then to discuss your findings then?

-Seokjin...

...

The second that Seokjin steps in the door he wraps you in a tight hug. You can hardly contain your excitement so see your brother again after so long.

“I guess you missed me too?” He laughs as he pulls you away slowly. “After what I did I don’t deserve such kindness.”

You shake your head to convey that all is forgotten.  

“Come on I know you’re anxious to show me what you’ve been up to.”

With your annual report due to the research team in a matter of days you are looking for some initial feedback. The subject matter is so unusual that the lens through which it is presented becomes essential to its reception.

As Seokjin looks over your final paper you watch his expression closely. His brow furrows several times as if in confusion.

...What’s wrong?...

“It’s good I’m just a little perplexed as to how it will benefit the direction in which the company is currently going. You’re discussing possible advancements to affective computing but we already have a good baseline for emotional recognition. It’s expensive research to conduct and I worry that we would see little return if we continued to invest in that area.”

...It could be improved. I spend most of my time with Jungkook and he still struggles to determine some emotional expressions. But this isn’t just about androids seeing and understanding emotions but possibly even feeling them...

“What benefit would that give to the military defense units?”

...You said it yourself that people are having difficulty accepting them. This might help bridge the gap...

“We are not going to cater to extremists, they will never be happy.”

...Then at least for household droids. If I can work with Jungkook to the point where he is able to develop his own emotions. We could apply that to assistant units and such, it could make their productivity increase if they can apply emotional intelligence...

“I was worried about this....” It’s with a sigh that Seokjin continues, “We are not trying to make them human (Y/N).”

You feel a sense of embarrassment as he simplifies your work so bluntly. You can only assume he wants you to see the error of your ways, but why? Why is it so wrong to want this for them? Jungkook makes you feel more human than anyone else, yet you can’t give him the same experience.

...No but I would like them to understand. They should understand what they are fighting, and what they are protecting...

...

“I’m sorry Noona.”

...For what?...

“I’m sorry that Master wasn’t impressed by our work.”

...He just doesn’t find value in it yet. I’m sure once we are successful he will...

Jungkook is currently helping you with your dress for tonight. You didn’t realize when you ordered it that the back consisted of intricate laces that the wearer would need assistance with. But of course Jungkook was more than willing to aid you. You watch him in his progress through the mirror in front of you. He himself had already changed into the same black suit that all of the security units would be wearing.

As his fingers threaded the ribbon through the notches in the fabric they would occasionally brush the skin of your back. After each loop he tugs on the lace cinching it together. This causes you to lose balance several times during the process but he stops to brace you when it does.

...Did you manage to fix the toaster while I was with Seokjin?...

He beams back at you through the mirror, “Yes I did.”

...What was wrong with it?...

“User error. She did not maintain the appliance, she is not like you.” He yanks on the strings of the gown one last time pulling you into him. Jungkook’s face now right beside yours, you watch through the looking glass as he looks at you intently, whispering into your ear, “You take such good care of me Noona.” His fingers trail along the boning of the dress, pressing down and smoothing out the fabric on your skin as they move along. “How does that fit?”

Reluctantly taking your eyes off him, you test the bodice with a tug. ...I think it could be a little tighter...

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

...You won’t, I won’t be wearing it for long. I am just worried about it falling...

“Formal attire seems so unnecessarily complex.”

...Yes, yes it is. It’s amazing what we’ll do to look pretty...

“You are already pretty Noona.” You inhale sharply as he tightens the gown further. “Based on the standards of society you are considered attractive.”

Your hand hovers over the tablet as you ponder if you should press him further. ...What about your standards?...

“I don’t have standards of beauty, but I suppose it could be considered my drive to observe you. If that’s the case I consider you very beautiful.” His hand comes to find your wrist. “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt, your heart is racing again.”

You nod to him, flush with embarrassment.

...

The party is contained to a separate building on the property used for entertaining guests. On one side there is a large elaborate ballroom and on the other there is a corridor filled with smaller rooms, including your refuge in the form of a piano parlor. An evening such as this often becomes a test on how short you can make your appearance without it seeming odd or rude.

Without your tablet in hand you feel empty and anxious. Clinging to Jungkook's arm as if he is a crutch. You have done this so many times before but each spectacle makes you nervous wondering if this will be the time someone figures out your secret before you can leave. As you enter you nod to the several people who recognize you. You find yourself fortunate for your brother, all of the guests have their sights set on him for discussion not just because of his position, but due to his affable nature. Jungkook quickly ushers you to the corner occupied by Namjoon.

One of the temporary wait staff hired for the evening approaches to offer you a glass of champagne. Jungkook turns them away for you to avoid any issue. Namjoon eyes the waiter as he leaves, waiting until the staff is fully out of sight before addressing you.

“You look stunning.”

You cock your head and glower at him. Namjoon says this every year.

“What? I’m still not allowed to say that?.”

“Not to my sister.” Seokjin steps up to your side.

“Seokjin.”

“Namjoon.”

You look between the two men letting out a huff at their cold acknowledgment of each other. Namjoon and Seokjin have never quite seen eye to eye. Namjoon hates him for labeling your work as his, while Seokjin loathes him for not paying the respect his title demands.

Seokjin leans into you while taking a sip of champagne. “They've really outdone themselves this time haven’t they. Our parents thought it would be smart to invite all of my old school mates to make it seem like an actual party, not a publicity event. Pathetic isn’t it? I haven’t seen half of these people for more than 10 years.”      

You nod noting that the room looks more full than usual. You scan the ballroom taking a pause for a moment as you see a familiar face in the crowd. It couldn’t be, is it really him?

Seokjin takes note of your distraction following your gaze. “Is that V? That’s a surprise. Do you remember him too? I heard there was an accident, and lost a good portion of his memory. I’m shocked to see him here, rumors are that he likes to keep to himself now.”

You lock eyes with the guest from your past, for a brief moment you consider that maybe, just maybe he remembers you too. But he turns his head away quickly and without acknowledgment, dashing any hope for you to reunite.

“I have to give the announcement soon. You should be good to leave after that.” Seokjin turns to Jungkook, “JK0901, I’ll leave her to you. I can at least trust that you won’t run off with some frivolous tart while on guard duty.” He smirks at Namjoon after issuing the order, with the obvious attention of giving offense.

“Someone sounds jealous. I could give you a few pointers on how to attract people, but that would require you to be a decent human being.” You elbow Namjoon in the ribs for his comment, but he continues to sneer at Seokjin. “Go ahead, run along now, go take credit for work that isn’t yours.”

As Seokjin leaves you glare at Namjoon, but he only scoffs at your expression. “You know it’s considered rude to give your tutor such a look... you’re lucky I find it amusing.”

...

A herd of people begin to congregate closer to the stage for Seokjin’s speech. You find a couple of them looking to your direction, they seem curious of you but intimidated by Jungkook's presence.

“My sister and I would like to thank you for coming this evening to celebrate our birthday. We also must pass along the apology that my parents are unable to join us at the moment as their travel plans were delayed, they hope to arrive as soon as possible. But that leaves me with the pleasure of sharing official news of the progress we have been making. As of today, we have just shipped out 500 new military units equipped with state of the art programming that will keep us safe for years to come. Human soldiers will become a thing of the past, and soon conscription will no longer be necessary.” There was an uproar of applause. “This has been the goal of our company for a long time but of course we couldn’t done it without your support, so please enjoy yourselves tonight!

As sound of the ovation comes to an end you have your cue to leave. For some reason after a speech the environment always becomes palpable with excitement and people will often try to embrace you with conversation. Hiding yourself behind Jungkook, he edges you to the hallway with several androids guarding the entrance to make your exit.

You are only too happy to be lead back to the parlor by Jungkook. He guides you to your favourite spot in the room, the piano bench. Your tablet already there and waiting for you.

“May I give you your present now Noona?”

You look over to him with a curious interest. ...Jungkook you aren’t required to give me anything for my birthday...

“Neither is Hyung, but you accepted his gift. Will you receive mine too?”  

You nod expecting him to pull something out from a pocket but instead he places his hands on the keys in front of you. The ivory presses beneath his fingers in the form of a familiar melody. It’s an accompaniment, the perfect fit to the first piece he had ever heard you play.

...You learned how to play?...

He nods, “Your music is essential you, I want to be part of it too.”

...But this song, you remember it? I haven’t played it in so long...

Jungkook looks to you as he continues, not even missing a beat. “I can recall everything you do Noona, but the memory of this song keeps repeating for me. At first I thought it was an error, but I believe this is what humans experience when a memory is important to them, is it not?”

You nod to confirm, a tear escaping you as you are overwhelmed with emotion. Jungkook’s fingers pause on the keys to address your tears ...No, keep playing, these are happy tears I promise...

“Will you play it with me? Can I hear your voice with mine?”

The small piano bench encourages you to press your side against his as you take up position. Your fingers quake slightly as they join his on the instrument, matching Jungkook's slow soft tempo allowing your fingers to roll over the instrument's keys.

His hand nudges yours as your notes draw closer together. His sound is a little more forceful than your own, especially for such a piece. This time you place your hand on his, guiding him to caress the keys, showing him how feather light touches can convey just as much. Wondering if he can see how it changes the emotional impact of the song.

Jungkook looks to you again with another question as the piece comes to a close,  “Noona that man Master was referring to earlier, V, did you know him?”

You finish off the last few notes before responding. ...I did. A long time ago, before I met you...

You were upset that V did not recognize you when you met eyes, but Jungkook more than makes up for that now. He will never leave you, he will never forget you. So why is it so hard to wipe the boy with the boxy grin from your mind?

You find Seokjin standing in the doorway with a coy grin on his face. “Mom and Dad just arrived if you want to see them?”

You shake your head and lowered your eyes, “Yeah I felt the same, luckily they’ll only be here for an hour or two and then they are heading out with the Prime Minister.” He nods at Jungkook, “So now you’re training it how to play the piano too?”

Seokjin paces closer to see your answer ...He is acting off his own impulses. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you, they are more than just assistants or soldiers...

“For our company to thrive they can’t be, we need soldiers who are going to take orders not question their leaders. This is for the greater good. You heard what I said, with these units we can save lives, we can end conscription.”

Seokjin’s phone suddenly starts to blare out, he looks at the display with apprehension “Why would they risk a call from there? This line isn’t secure.” He mutters quietly before answering the phone.

“Hello, yes why are you... what... what the hell do you mean it never arrived? How can 500 units just go missing?... Do you know what that shipment was worth?” Seokjin’s anger is overflowing, it’s terrifying to see him in such a rage. “Have them send the jet to Seoul I’ll leave right away.”

He gives out a sigh as he hangs up. “Sorry sis, I’ll have to cut this trip short. I’ll send word soon once I make sure that we can have a secure conversation. It looks like our friends have decided to act out again.” There’s a swift kiss to your check before he exits out the back.

While Seokjin takes his leave, Jungkook stares at the other door that leads to the long hallway and ballroom.

...What’s wrong?...

“One of the guests has passed out, possibly do to an allergic reaction. The units on site have sent out an emergency signal to respond.”

...You should go, they might need your help...

“You’ll be okay Noona?”

You nod and wave him off out the door.

In his absence you returning to your piano calling up a different piece from your past, one you learned and played before Jungkook's time. The song you played for V so many years ago. The song he loved to listen to as he sat by your side... the one that prompted him to give you your first kiss at the age of 13. Seokjin might think V a distant memory, but for you he still holds strong.

You had keep your friendship secret from Seokjin, from your family. For fear of what they would do if they found out he knew of your disability.

V would always tell the guards he was coming to visit Seokjin as a child when really he was coming to see you. It had broken you deeply when he and his family moved away in your yearly teen years. You had heard about the accident too. The one that took his family and many of his memories. You wonder how much he could remember. If he can recall you or your time together, does he know of your friendship that grew despite your defect?

The door pushes back open, you keep playing knowing that Jungkook wouldn’t want you to stop on his account. But It’s not Jungkook who comes to stand by your side...

“Sorry to interrupt.”

It’s Kim Vincent... V.

Maybe it was the song you just played, maybe it was the fact that you were reliving the memory, you couldn’t help but toss aside priority for once, leaping up from your piano and pulling him into a hug.  

...

Asimov’s Law safe house, Seoul 12:00 pm December 4th, 2054

POV Taehyung

“Fuck!” I curse out as our captive’s vomit spills all over my shoes.

Yoongi enters the room chuckling once he sees the reason for my swear. Calling out to the one who should have been in my predicament. “Hoseok get your ass out here! It’s your job to keep him alive until tonight.”

I look back to the man tied to the chair, Kim Vincent. He’s high as a kite with bile now dripping from his chin. I still can’t shake the eeriness I feel when I look upon him. I know that the whole plan relies on our likeness, but having someone who resembles me so closely is unnerving.  

“Did you get everything you needed? I just got the confirmation to proceed for tonight.”

“I think so, we should try and keep him at a better level though, he’s too far gone. I might require any last minute information he can remember but he’s useless like this.” I push the man’s head back proving my point when I release it to lull forward again.

“When we found him he wasn’t much better. You either get this or serious withdrawal symptoms. No one wants an irritable drug addict.”

“Ugh gross.” Hope finally enters the room to look after his charge. “Leave the shoes Tae I’ll find you some other ones. Is Jimin back yet?”

“From his pre-op ritual? No he was out all night, someone must have kept him busy.” I respond with cynicism. The lock on the door begins to rattle and in stumbles Jimin. “Speak of the devil, cutting it a little close aren’t you? Were you out enjoying your walk of shame?”

“I have plenty of time, and he was worth every step. I was sad to see he already left the hotel when I woke up though, I could have gone for another round.” Jimin gives a smug look as he examines the state of the room he’s just entered. “You should join me next time rather than stress here all night. I can find you someone to help relax.”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself.” Jimin strolls off to his room with a hum.

“Yoongi where you able to find any more information on our employer?”

“Nothing. Although I expect they are involved with the S(e)oul First movement. They must be part of something big for the amount they’re paying us.”

“Even if they are as close to the family as they boast?’

“That could have been their motive to get so close, we can’t be sure. Their wish to remain anonymous is not surprising, they’re giving us our chance and letting us choose between the two targets so we shouldn’t complain.”

“I’ll take out both if I can. They may just want to send a message, but I want to win this war.”

“Don’t risk it if you don’t have the window though, the male heir is the priority. She will inherit a large fortune, but he is in line to receive the company. This is going to be more dangerous than you anticipate. With so many units around, your time is going to be limited and our communication almost non-existent. Their security is impossible to hack, you’ll be blind, other than what the informant has given us.”

“Just be ready with the switch once I send the green light.”

...

As I hand over my invitation to the staff they compare my face to the image they have on file, directing me thought the metal detector and into the ballroom once they confirm my identity.

It’s hard to believe the number of people of importance that they’ve stuffed into one room. It’s like they are asking for us to make a move. For god sake even the Prime Minister is here. I tug the collar around my neck pulling it forward, countering the weight of the carbon fiber blade tucked into the back of my vest.

The family’s son is making his rounds as I enter. Not wanting to engage him just yet I move to the opposite end of the room confirming guards and exit points. The memory loss from Vincent’s past accident is a decent alibi but if I can avoid all possible conversation I will.

I soon spot Jimin in a wait staff uniform and have to cover a snicker. He always hates these support roles, preferring to be the one to make the strike, but that assignment falls on me today.

After a long wait I watch as the heiress steps into the hall. I had expected her to be just as exuberant as her brother but there seems to be something different about her. Instead of greeting guests she simply confines herself to a corner with her date... no wait, that must be her guard. I almost didn’t recognize him for the android that he is, had it not been for the suit that he’s dawning I might have continued to think him human.

Now that I know him to be a unit I can see the additional signs, how he stands perfectly still, how his eyes dart about the room. But when he looks to the heiress, that is when he appears almost human again. I’ve never seen that expression before in an android, it’s almost as if his whole existence relies on her. He watches every move she makes, and clings so desperately to her side. This could be a problem, what if he doesn’t leave with the others...

I step over to Jimin and grab a glass of champagne from him. “Restroom, two minutes.” I can’t be seen talking with him out on the floor unless I want to draw suspicion to him after my task is done.

I check under the stalls to find it all clear. This is the only spot I can be sure I won't be recorded or overheard.

“That unit...”

“I know, bold of her to bring her sex toy into public don’t you think?”

“Jimin, if he’s not on the security programming he won’t leave her.”

“He’ll leave, he has to be linked to the system in some format.” Jimin pauses in consideration before continuing the assessment of our situation, “That other man though, do you think he’ll follow them?”

“The tutor? No I’ve been told he usually stays until the end of these parties, despite the fact that the heirs always take leave early.”

“She seems like a piece of work, doesn’t she?” Jimin chuckles darkly, “Maybe we should change targets. The son at least thanked me when I offered him a drink, she didn’t even bother to say a word, just turned her head away like I was nothing.”

“I would look away too if a flirtatious brat offered me a drink.”

“Fuck you, she would be so lucky.” Jimin bites back before letting out a long sigh, “This is exhausting waiting on these people, we should have just poisoned them, we’d be done by now.”

“Too risky, and too many variables.”

Jimin moves back to the door. “Fine we’ll stick to your plan Once both of the heirs leave I’ll send out the package, watch for the recipient and then give you a three minute warning.”

...

The son’s speech was cringe worthy, but not as bad as the crowd's reaction. I watch as they are enthralled by him and this perfect family. The end to conscription, that’s their goal? I highly doubt that.

I observe the daughter leave surprisingly early since she was the last to arrive. Exiting down a hall with two guards posted at each side preventing guests from entering the private area.

A half hour later the son takes his leave too. With the arrival of his parents he is relieved from his social duties, exiting down the same hall that his sister had gone.

With his departure, Jimin works quickly to deliver his distraction. When the the bait is taken he gives his signal by offering me another drink.

I station myself close to the hall’s entrance as the minutes pass. A women at the far end of the room begins to cough and gasp as if she’s choking. Just as planned, just as programmed the units leave their post. Prioritizing the health and safety of the guest, but there's still one more I am waiting on. The heiress’s personal unit that left with her, in the seconds that pass my anxiety increases. When the android finally steps out into the ballroom I steal off behind it down the now vacant hall.

I can hear music different from the tone of the ballroom I had just left. A dreary piano melody playing from my intended destination. Clair de Lune, well if that’s the last song he wishes to listen to I can’t deny it to be a good choice, it seems that we at least agree on something.

My hand pauses on the panel as I put an ear to the door. I find it odd that there are no words exchanged between the siblings only the notes of the tune. I push open the door slowly as to not draw attention immediately. The daughter is the one playing the piano, but where is the son, where is my ideal target?

She keeps focused on the music as I draw closer. I stop once she looks up at me a grin spreads throughout her face, but nothing can prepare me for the hug that follows.

V is Seokjin’s friend so why is she having such a reaction to me? None of this makes any sense.

I quickly pull her off of me, “Sorry I was looking for your brother Jin. Is he still here?” I’m careful to use his nickname that he went by in school to maintain the act. It was one of the few things that I had managed to drag from Vincent about him.

She looks absolutely broken after hearing my words. Her mouth hangs open ever so slightly her lips trembling as she shakes her head.

“Can you tell me where he went?”

She remains silent much to my dismay, a sadness continues to fill her expression. I begin to curse her out in my mind, if she tells me I will leave, if she tells me I don’t have to fucking kill her instead...

She takes a step back knocking over the piano bench in the process.

My time is running short, that drug that Jimin had someone serve the women will soon wane.

With no other option she will have to do. “May I wait here with you until he returns?” I try my best to remain cordial as I taking a step towards her, I reach behind to find my concealed blade. Why isn’t she answering me? I notice her eyes dart over to a tablet resting on the piano stand. I thought it would display music but it looks to be half of a conversation.

...What’s wrong?...

...You should go, they might need your help...

My hand stops before I draw the dagger out into view. Why would she type out orders? Why isn’t she saying anything? Is it... is it because she can’t? This is not what I expected, she is not what her family presents her to be. She is not perfect... she is not without flaw...

...

A/N: Whew! Lots to digest in that part, if you have any questions, about the world building, or characters, feel free to send me an ask!

[mahnati]

So now that I’ve finished the three main routes of Three Houses and my life can sorta go back to normal, I decided to write my opinions on the three lords. There will be spoilers, so... be warned.

Edelgard: Edelgard answered a long time question that nobody had, which was “if Mad King Ashnard and Arvis had a one night stand, what would their baby look like?”. She has the same ideals as Arvis, wanting an equal society and wanting to unify an entire continent in order to achieve that, while trying to achieve this dream by implementing Ashnard’s blunt methods, by conquering other countries, with only who she deemed to be strong and capable being worth of holding positions of power. Like Arvis, she decided to ally with a not so great cult who she is not a fan of, but can provide her with the power she needed to start the war. Like Ashnard, she also despises the current hierarchy and wants to create a world where only the strong thrive.

I love Edelgard. The story makes her spend time enough with her for us to sympathize with her motivations and does a good job in showing why she is the way she is when the events of the story takes place. She’s confident, charismatic, highly driven by her goals and has a gorgeous, GORGEOUS design, especially post-timeskip. Her relationship with Byleth also feels the most genuine out of the three lords, with Byleth being the reason why she becomes softer in her own route, after all, it is implied that she still harbors feelings for them regardless of the route that the player takes.

I also think that Edelgard is full of shit and cannot for the life of me see her an anti-hero. Yes, her motivations are sympathetic and she suffered a lot, but it is hard to defend someone who started a war against an entire in continent in order to impose your ideals on different societies. Part of me wonders how much Edelgard wanted this unification because she wanted to unify humanity against the Children of the Goddess or… simply because she wanted to restore the Adrestian Empire to its former glory, to get back at those “traitors from the Kingdom”. Her epilogue stating that Faerghus and the Church of Seiros were soon forgotten by the masses, implying that she erased both the Kingdom and the Church’s history from history books, which… yikes. I don’t see that as just nor noble. I also think that the story did a terrible job at showing her relationship against the Agarthans. Some people say that they were blackmailing her, but considering how Edelgard’s character was heavily influenced by Arvis, who did ally with the Loptr Church out of arrogance, thinking he could dispose of them when necessary… it just makes me think that Edelgard, the girl who was tortured by the same people who she is allying herself with in order to take down people who didn’t have anything directly to do with her tragic past, it feels super dumb from her part.

I wish Crimson Flower treated her right. Edelgard deserved better than a rushed, half-assed route. She could have been my favorite FE villain, but alas, that title still goes to Lyon. She’s still in my top three though.

Dimitri: I never expected to like this guy this much. I started with Blue Lions because that was the house with Ashe and Mercedes, but my heart was taken by this princely, damaged boy. As far as design goes, Dimitri was the one who left me the least impressed (yes, even his post-timeskip, I was still drooling over Edelgard). Unlike Edelgard and Claude, Dimitri doesn’t seem to have grand plans for Fodlán, preferring to focus on his revenge against the people responsible for the Tragedy of Duscur. This makes his route seem less focused on lore and the world at large, instead preferring to show the rebuilt of his decaying Kingdom. I feel like his story felt more personal and more about him than the other routes and honestly, I usually prefer character-driven stories, so I felt the Blue Lions route more engaging than the other routes. Dimitri is a tragic character, whose strong compassion for the oppressed at one point drives him to brutality and he needs the help of his friends (especially Byleth) to bring him back to the light. There is something about excessive compassion being treated as a flaw that fascinates me, so Dimitri hits a sweet spot for me. I think they could have handled his recovery a little bit better, but I just let that one slide.

I do think that Dimitri blaming baby Edelgard for the tragedy of Duscur to be hilarious though. Imagine thinking that a thirteen y/o girl is to blame for the massacre of hundreds of people. I know that anger can lead us to have irrational thoughts, but come on, it’s just funny. I also have issues with Dimitri saying that his fight is in benefit of the common people, yet he barely involves them or hears them when it came to making decisions. I still think that he is right in calling out on Edel’s bullshit, on how the world she wants to build that only favors the strong.

Dimitri also feels like the most realistic lord out there, in which he is not some 17 y/o with a master plan to dismantle a millennia y/o system and continued to follow with that plan for 5 years until their comatose teacher woke up and helped them with their plans and I admire that about him too and performed incrementalist reforms.

Claude: Claude is fascinating to me in that he is the smartest lord of the bunch, but his goals are so naive that I’m left with mixed feelings. Really, Claude? Your plan to ending prejudice is by uniting Fodlán as one nation and, once you achieve that, you can destroy the protected border between Fodlán and Almyra? Sure, making the interactions between two nations can ease some of the prejudices that both people have toward each other, but I doubt that this will end racism. His supports with Cyril tries to show that he has a blind spot for the suffering of people who were less fortunate than him back in his home country, but that’s not really brought up in the main story.

His route is weird, as it puts a lot of emphasis in lore and explaining what is up with the secret cult that has been pulling the strings from behind the scenes, but out of the three routes (excluding SS), his feels less like his story and more like a series of events in which he is there. I’ve seen people say that Verdant Wind is the most lighthearted route, but I think this has to do with the fact that Claude seems oddly detached from it. Things happen and he tries to turn them into his advantage, which is fine, it is in character and certainly paints him in a better light than a certain red lord, but it didn’t make me care about his story all that much. I think it’s interesting how he and Edelgard are not so different in the aspect of them wanting to conquer all of Fodlán in order to achieve their ideals, but I think Claude feels more sympathetic simply because he is not the aggressor in this case.

As far as character goes, I like characters who have a sunny and friendly disposition, but can be cold and calculating if needed. I like how he has troubles trusting people and letting get close to him, since he was always seen as an outsider no matter where he lived. Unfortunately, this also means that his relationship with Byleth doesn’t feel as genuine as the other two lords, at least pre-timeskip. And by genuine, I mean it’s hard to believe that his interest in Byleth was anything other than using them and the Sword of the Creator for his own goals, while Edelgard and Dimitri at least feel like they are more interested in them as a person and not as a tool. Their relationship gets better though.

When it comes to design, I think they managed to portray his easygoing, friendly personality well, with his pre-timeskip sporting a more wild hair and post-timeskip showing a more mature and serious side in his combed hairstyle. Also he’s just really hot, ok? Wow.

[themostrandomfandom]

Hi! I was wondering if you could share your thoughts on Brittana and their MBTI types? I think Brittany could be a ENFP, but I have no idea what Santana's type could be (other than her last letter, which I think is J)

Hey @silver-greystorms!

First off, sorry it has taken me so terribly long to reply to you.I don’t get a lot of internet time these days.

Second, in response to your question, Iknow very little about MBTI types, so forgive me if anything I say here is off.I took this test,answering for Brittany and Santana—the ways I think they are, as opposed to theways in which I think they might (mis)represent themselves, were they takingthe test—and here are the results I came up with:

Brittany is, as you suggested, an ENFP.

Santana is an ESFJ.

I then read up on both of thesepersonality types on this site and this one.

More discussion of how I see Brittany and Santana fitting thesetypes under the cut.

_______

Because I know so little about the MBTI system, I read through thedescriptions for Brittany and Santana’s types on the sites I linked above. Ithen made lists of all of the descriptions that seemed to really fit the girls,as I understand them in canon. 

Here are those lists with some commentary: 

Brittany the ENFP

ENFPs are often popular.

For all of her quirks, Brittany is one of the most popular girlsat WMHS for many years running. While both Quinn and Santana occasionallysuffer sharp downturns in their popularity (e.g., when Quinn is pregnant and whenSantana is outed), Brittany is depicted as being fairly consistently well-liked. Notonly does she become senior class president, but also never once is sheslushied. People may not always understand her, but they do seem to enjoy hercompany. Her energy attracts people. She’s the life of the party.

ENFPs, for all of their socialsuccesses, may, however, also face certain difficulties, such as beingunfocused and becoming easily distracted, overthinking personal issues, beingbetter at “the theory” than “the practice,” not handling stress well, and beingindependent to a fault.  

Brittany’sacademic difficulties may stem from an inability to focus and/or to put intopractice the ideas and theoretical concepts that she learns.

Overthinking is likewise an issue for Brittany, not only throughout S4 (when she gets so worked up over personal problems forwhich she sees no fixes that she experiences two total meltdowns, one in episode4x02 and one in episode 4x22) but also in S6as she is prepping for her wedding.She gets so in her head that she panics until Santana talks her down.

When faced with stress (particularly ofthe interpersonal variety), Brittany tends to resort to making jokes, playingdumb, and downplaying the situation rather than taking ownership for what’shappening. Though she becomes better able to handle stress as the series goeson, particularly as she finds grounding in her relationship with Santana,early on, she is highly avoidant in stressful situations (see, for example, herreaction when the glee club confronts her for spying in episode 1x13).

Being independent to a fault islikewise a big thing with her. As I say elsewhere: “Having difficulty asking for help is a characterflaw she comes by naturally. That a girl who’s been told ‘no’ her whole lifewould be scared to ask anyone to take a chance on her and say ‘yes’ makessense”—though, of course, it certainly doesn’t make her life any easier. Asmentioned above, Brittany will often meltdown when her problems overwhelm her,acting out (and acting outrageously) rather than asking for help. She will alsosometimes simply suffer in silence, keeping her troubles to herself until it’stoo late for anyone to do anything to help her (such as when she fails tograduate in episode 3x22).

ENFPs are bothidea- and people-driven. They see everyone and everything as part of a cogent,cosmic whole.

While Santana is (generally) moreplan-reliant than Brittany, Brittany is actually (typically) abetter planner than Santana because she comes up with innovative, long-gameideas and doesn’t get too caught up in logistics.

See, for example, her Project Unicorn campaign for the seniorclass presidency in episode 3x02. 

Brittany is also a people-person, insofar as she is a skilledreader of people, and she sees how individuals fit into the collective. Thoughshe doesn’t always get along with everyone in the glee club, she does know howall of the various players function to make the collective work.

See, for example, her Heart Locker speech in episode 2x22, inwhich she advocates for Santana to forgive Rachel, not only for the good of thegroup but because she understands how much Santana craves friends, even thoughshe personally does not like Rachel much at all. 

Brittany’s big, beautiful math brain affords her a uniqueperspective on the world. Brittany is a nonnormative thinker who forms connections that maynot be apparent to other people.

See, for example, her “infinity” speech to Santana in episode6x03, which lays out her whole understanding of the universe not only in termsof numbers but in terms of love.

ENFPs learn globally. They don’t mindapproximations (whereas other types may want exactitude).

As I talk about elsewhere: “Brittany’s is a unique mind. It is unclear towhat extent book-learning and traditional education work for her. She has atendency to metaphorize concepts, suggesting that she is an abstract thinker.Her flair for malapropisms also intimates that her mind is organized in ‘webs,’with various like-words grouped together by loose strings of associations.Though she is mathematically intelligent, she is also emotionally intelligentand physically intelligent, as well. Early on, her genius seems highly intuitive,as she is able to pull numbers out of the air, though she is not always equallyable to explain how or by what means she has done so. In time, her methods seemto become more examined and deliberate, with theory underlining what was once amore reflexive capability. She is perhaps something of an autodidact, able, forinstance, to teach herself Spanish, though she apparently doesn’t fare well inthe class in high school.”

While these thinking patterns are all apart of Brittany’s nonnormative genius, they can also get her into trouble inthe public school system, which expects conformity. Her “close is good enough”attitude may contribute in part to her failing her senior year.

ENFPs are outgoing and warm, possessinga “zany charm” which can endear them to more stodgy types in spite of theirunconventionality.

I mean, could there be a more fitting description of Brittana’srelationship dynamic?

Though stodgy Santana manages to build walls to keep out virtuallyevery other human being on the face of the planet, she’s helpless to resistBrittany’s outgoing personality, warmth, and zany charms. Santana’s lowtolerance for social aberration, sentimentality, and even silliness flies outthe window when Brittany’s involved. Brittany gets her to embrace theunconventional and open herself like she never has before.  

ENFPs possess strong values andviewpoints, which those around them may find surprising. They attempt to gentlybut enthusiasticallypersuade others of the rightness of these views,using all of the social skills at their disposals.

First example of this trait in Brittany: Brittany’s earnest,enthusiastic attempts to persuade Kurt to adopt her anti-bullying platformduring his senior class presidency campaign in episode 3x02.

Note that Kurt finds both Brittany’s strategy and her enthusiasmfor the platform itself surprising. At first, he has no idea that there’s a“method to her madness.” He is truly taken aback when he realizes that not onlyis Brittany’s platform about more than just pink paper and glitter glue butalso that Brittany has a personal stake in the fight she wants him to join, asshe’s a member of the LGBTQ community herself.  

Second example of this trait in Brittany: Brittany’s earnest,enthusiastic attempts to reconcile Alma and Santana before the wedding in S6.

Brittany attempts to persuade Alma to reconsider her relationshipwith Santana at first through gentle insinuation and a soupçon of deception.Only after Alma rejects these initial (more passive) overtures does Brittanybreak out her hardline stance, making her fierce speech about generationalturnover in episode 06x06.

ENFPs make affectionate, demonstrative,and spontaneous mates who light up the lives of their partners. However, anENFP’s romantic partner must be willing to manage the practical and financialaspects of the relationship, accounting for the ENFP’s spontaneity, dreaminess,and wanderlust.

I think Santana would agree thatBrittany possesses all of the positive traits listed here.

Not only is Brittany physicallyaffectionate toward Santana (see all of their S1 touches on the back row of thechoir room), but she is also verbally affectionate, constantly praisingSantana’s “awesomeness” and reminding her of her exemplary qualities. Brittanydemonstrates her feelings for Santana in numerous ways, such as by giving hergifts (see episode 3x12) and making speeches to her and about her love for her(see episodes 2x18, 2x22, 5x12, and 6x06).

Brittany is constantly surprisingSantana in the best ways possible, by putting herself out there for the sake oftheir relationship and always knowing the right—if unexpected—thing to say(see, for example, the Heart Locker speech in episode 2x22 or what Brittanysays to Santana at the end of episode 4x13).

Santana herself tells us that Brittanyis the light of her life (see her marriage proposal in episode 6x03).

That said, Santana would probably also agree that at timesBrittany can lose sight of the minutiae of everyday life, such as when Brittany fails to graduate high school—and neglectsto mention her failure until it’s too late to do anything about it (see episode3x22).

Luckily, ESFJs like Santana are great with money and practicaldecisions. Santana’s strengths naturally balance out Brittany’s weaknesses. Thegirls complement each other nicely.

See, for example, in episode 5x13, when Brittany wants to move toLesbos with Santana to escape their social pressures and responsibilities.Santana reins Brittany in, convincing her to simply take a vacation rather thanto permanently abandon her whole life.

ENFPs can go from serious to silly in atrice. When they need to, they can get down to business. However, if given halfthe chance, they’ll gladly break out the hijinks and jokes.

Brittany can be serious when she needs to be, but she is also agrade-A, professional goofball who makes odd quips whenever she can. Shecan quickly switch between gravitas and jocularity—such as, for instance, inepisode 2x15, when she intersperses her very heartfelt entreaty to Santana toseek advice regarding their romantic relationship with pithy one-linersregarding breakfast foods.

ENFPs thrive on human connections,which can make them great friends. However, their willingness to uphold theirend of a relationship no matter what can also lead them to be victimized bypersons who would take advantage of them. They have difficulty being alone, andfor this reason they may opt to keep “bad company” rather than go with nocompany at all.

InS1 and early S2, Brittany submerges her own needs in order to placate Santana. Her desires take a backseat to Santana’s fears.Because she is so desperate to maintain a relationship with Santana (even ifthat relationship is not on her terms), sheis willing to play by Santana’s rules, however convoluted or unbearable theymay be. Only later in her development doesshe learn to advocate for herself, even if doing so isdifficult, such as during the Shirt Locker scene in episode 2x18.

ENFPs are empathetic and social. They believethat feelings (and the recognition and expression of feelings) is important. 

“With feelings, it’s better,” anyone?

Brittany understands long before Santana does that denying howthey feel for each other is detrimental not only to their relationship but tothem as individuals. She spends much of the Back Six of S2 encouraging Santanato first recognize and then embrace her feelings (see, for example, her promnight speech in episode 2x20).

ENFPs are highly devoted to the peopleto whom they commit their hearts.

While Brittany has a reputation for promiscuity—and by her ownadmission has made out with everyone at her school—she is emotionallymonogamous with Santana from start to finish on the show. When she tellsSantana “I’m yours, proudly so” in episode 2x15, that statement isn’tconditional or limited in its scope. Brittany means forever, which is something she proves by her willingness to waitfor Santana time and time again throughout the course of the series. While shewill occasionally date other people, like Artie and Sam, and even love these othe people in a way, it’s clear that herheart has only ever truly and fully belonged to one person. Santana is her first and lastchoice, always. Brittany says so herself in her infinity speech (see episode6x06).

Fun Fact: Some of the MBTI sites Ilooked at mentioned that ENFPs may be attracted to journalism, and that, inspite of their more whimsical qualities, ENFPs can also excel in mathematics.Sounds a bit like our favorite Muckraker contributor, FF2 host, andcertified math genius, no?

Anyway.

In general, ENFPsare known to be free-spirited “campaigners” who form deep emotional connectionswith the people closest to them. They are charming, intuitive, and full ofsurprises. As romantic partners, they are deeply, deeply devoted.Professionally, they are interested in everything—sometimes to the point ofdistraction. Though their practical skills may be lacking, they are good “bigpicture” thinkers able to see the grander view. They are often the life of theparty and can be found at the center of the dancefloor.

Brittany’sBrittanyisms, enthusiastic political activities, and loyalty to Santana are allhallmarks of her ENFPness, as are her nonnormative thinking and attraction toand participation in a wide variety of extracurricular activities (e.g.,cheerleading, glee club, dance, student newspaper, senior class presidency,quiz bowl, motocross racing, astronomy club, superhero club, etc.). Theacademic troubles she experiences during high school may link to a lack offocus and/or an inability to put into practice the theoretical concepts thatshe learns, which are classic ENFP foibles. Her series-long devotion to hertrue love Santana and her high emotional intelligence likewise mark her asENFP.  

Santana the ESFJ

First off, anacknowledgment:

Santana makes for atricky ESFJ because she not only tends to suppress many of her natural ESFJtraits—and particularly the more positive ones—but she also often straight updoes the opposite of what comes naturally to her. 

Baby Girl is a study incontradictions, a born sensitive sweetheart who so deeply fears beingvulnerable (and having her vulnerability used against her) that she forcesherself to become recalcitrant, combative, and mean. Early on in herdevelopment, she pretends not to care about anyone or anything for the veryreason that she actually cares so much,but she doesn’t want to get hurt. Instead of using her ESFJ micromanagement skillsto care for the people she loves, she weaponizes them, plotting out detailedplans in order to derail others’ romantic relationships, wreck team bonds, andgenerally make others miserable. Rather than forming loyal bonds with those shecares about, she often goes out of her way to prove that she doesn’t want or needanyone, even though she is actually desperately lonely inside.

Just on a surfacelevel, she might appear to be something she very much isn’t, seeming like adifferent MBTI type altogether—such as, for instance, an ESTJ. Only in lookingat what lies beneath with her (and how she comes to be in later seasons of theshow, when she starts to lean into her natural tendencies) do we see her trueESFJness at play.

So:

ESFJswear their hearts on their sleeves.

THIS!!!TRAIT!!! IS!!! SO!!! SANTANA!!!

AsI’ve written about elsewhere, Santana is ather core an extremely reactive person, which means that, by nature, she wears her heart on her sleeve. When she’s happy, she’s really, really happy and smilingher huge, gorgeous smile. When she’s sad, she’s really, really sad and weepingin the hallway because Rachel fucking Berry said she would grow up to be astripper and her heart is so deeply hurt.

One site I looked at mentioned that ESFJs can have explosive tempers and unload onothers when they are angry, which is certainly true of Santana, particularlyearly on. (See, for instances, all of the times when she lashes out at Rachel—to thepoint where she must be physically restrained by other members of the gleeclub—in S2, such as in episodes 2x07 and 2x22.)

Thoughearly on Santana pretends to be heartless and “too cool for school,” the truth isthat her emotions run both very strong and very close to the surface—andnowhere is this trait more readily apparent than in her relationship withBrittany.

For asmuch as Santana tries during S1 and early S2 to suppress and tamp down how shefeels around Brittany, she ultimately cannot help but light up when somethingto do with Brittany makes her happy or to appear crushed when something to dowith Brittany makes her sad. As she tells Brittany herself in episode 4x04, atthe very times when she was trying hardest to rein in her emotions, she wasactually counting the number of times that Brittany smiled at her and “dying”on days when she didn’t. For as unaffected as Santana attempts to be, the truthis that everything Brittany does—and really everything that happens in her lifein general—deeply affects her.

AfterSantana finally acknowledges this truth about herself (see her Hurt Lockerspeech in episode 2x15), she starts to give into her feelings more and more—notonly regarding Brittany but regarding everything in her life, including herlove for performance, her friendships with various glee club members, her hopesand dreams, etc. By the conclusion of the show in S6, she’s behaving in a waythat is much more natural to her, openly showing her emotions, crying at thedrop of a hat, smiling so widely her dimples show, being demonstrative in herlove for both friends and family, etc., etc.  

ESFJsvalue security and stability. They tend to preserve the status quo.

There’sa reason why Santana chooses to sing “Landslide” in her first real act ofself-expression on the show: “I’ve been afraid of changing” could be the mottoof her life.

BabyGirl fears the unknown. She’s constantly building things up in her head,worrying about what might happen, fretting about contingencies and unexpectedturns of events. Even in situations where the status quo isn’t ideal, Santanawould rather stick to her routines than to assume the risks inherent indeviating from them in order to forge new paths. She spends early S2 miserable,languishing as Brittany dates Artie and her and Brittany’s sexual/romanticrelationship is relegated to “side dish” status. However, she remains reluctantto seek a change, even after she reaches her lowest emotional point, becauseshe fears what could happen if she rocks the proverbial boat (“I’m angry because I have all of these feelings—feelings for you—that I’m afraid of dealing with, because I’m afraid of dealing with the consequences. And, Brittany, I can’t go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can’t”). It takes Brittany pleading with her to consider a change to finally prompt her to take those first steps toward doing things a new way.

Theinteresting thing about Santana is that she spends most of her tenure on theshow outside of her comfort zone, lacking stability and being forced to changeand adapt in spite of herself. Sometimes she reacts poorly to the discomfortshe feels as she’s pushed from her norms—such as in S4 and early S5, when shecontinually flails as she lacks a clear career path, suffers through shakysocial relationships, is without the grounding influence of her and Brittany’sromantic relationship in her life, etc.—but she ultimately ends up poweringthrough, enduring these sea changes and coming out generally better for them onthe other side.

Ofcourse, just because Santana eventually learns to deal with uncertainty becauseshe has to doesn’t mean that she disvalues security and stability when she has them.Look no further than S6 to see just how much Santana thrives when she feels anchored. Having Brittany by her side andfeeling secure in their relationship does wonders for her confidence. Becauseshe knows she has an advocate in her corner, she can deal with other, moreminor stresses in her life with ease.    

ESFJsare excellent micromanagers who enjoy seeing to the care of those around them.As caretakers, they tend to be wary of dangers to their loved ones. Theirdistrust of the world causes them to be hypervigilant of potential hazards.

Onesalient example of this behavior: In episode 3x11, Santana sits Kurt down tostrategize about what to do about Warbler bully Sebastian Smythe, who hasrecently scratched Blaine’s cornea with rock salt. Santana then tapes a voicerecorder to her underboob, infiltrates Dalton, challenges Smythe to a rapbattle Michael Jackson sing-off, catches him admitting to maiming Blaine ontape, and uses this evidence to blackmail Smythe. Her actions go way beyondwhat Kurt is comfortable with and probably also way beyond what is reasonable—asting operation? underboob?—but, boy howdy, do they show what Santana’saffections look like in action. 

If you’re one of the select people she caresabout, she will insert herself into your life, push convoluted schemes, dressin a fedora, take a slushie to the face, and risk life and limb to make sureyour needs are met. For as much time and energy as she expends plotting todestroy her enemies in S1-S2, she will expend just as much or more time andenergy plotting to support her friends in S3-S6.

Particularlyearly on in her development, Santana often mentions her distrust of people (andthe world in general). She maintains a pessimistic attitude regarding people’sintentions and has a hard time believing that good things will come to her. Wesee her sometimes try to protect Brittany, who possesses a more optimisticworldview, from the nastiness she perceives around them (see, for example,episode 3x04). Only over time, and with encouragement from Brittany, does Santana learn to drop her guard a bit and give others a chance to prove themselves.    

ESFJsmake excellent team members. Situations where everyone benefits bring them joy.

Atfirst glance, the above statement may seem like it doesn’t hold true forSantana. After all, her relationship with the New Directions remains strainedat best all the way up until episode 6x06. And Santana happy when everyonebenefits? Sounds fake.

Here’sthe thing, though: While Santana does certainly make more than a couplemissteps as a member of the glee club team (e.g., spying on them for Sue,helping to leak their set lists, waging biological warfare against many of herteam members, breaking up various couples within the glee club, going on wildlyoffensive and demoralizing rants regarding her teammates, defecting from theNew Directions to start the Troubletones, etc., etc.), she tends to resort tothis negative behavior either because she is under duress from Sue or becauseshe’s acting on hurt feelings, lashing out because she perceives that the grouphas rejected her.

That’snot to justify her shitty behavior—just to say that she’s acting in response tostimuli. She’s not just pulling these stunts out of nowhere.

Thetruth is that when left to her own devices, without Sue commanding her tosabotage anyone and when she feels safe and secure to be herself without fearof rejection, Santana is actually a pretty standup teammate who takes great joyin the group’s achievements.

Gleeclub is the best part of her day, okay?

That’swhy when Sue poses her with an ultimatum, she chooses glee club over Cheerios(see episode 2x11). That’s why she goes out of her way to bring Kurt back toWMHS from Dalton (see episode 2x18). That’s why she neutralizes Karofsky’sthreat on Kurt’s behalf (see episode 2x20). That’s why she tries to get Quinnto rejoin glee club after she drops out at the start of S3 (see episode 3x01).That’s why she eventually rejoins the New Directions in time to prepare forNationals (see episode 3x08). That’s why she goes after Sebastian Warbler toavenge Blaine (see episode 3x11). That’s why time and time again, she gives herall to supporting her teammates, singing and dancing her heart out, and doingwhatever it takes to make sure that the New Directions come out on top. That’s whyshe returns so often even after she graduates to participate in interventionsand alumni events. That’s why she seldom looks happier than she does when she’ssurrounded by her glee club family, basking in a shared triumph, feeling like apart of the collective.

So,yeah, Santana can be a shitty teammate sometimes. But when given even half achance, she can also be an excellent teammate—the kind of person that everyonebe lucky to have in their corner (as Mercedes points out in episode 5x18).

ESFJscare about other people’s feelings and try not to offend or cause damage toanyone.

Atfirst glance, the above statements may also seem like they do not hold true forSantana. After all, this is a girl who seemingly delights in verballydestroying people and spouting off ultra-offensive rants, whose own soulmateopenly acknowledges her penchant for “vicious, vicious words.” Santana hasnever been shy about saying whatever pops into her head, no matter how uncouthor outright hurtful the thought may be, right? So what kind of ESFJ does thatmake her?

Well,here’s where the acknowledgment I made at the top of her section comes in: Thistrait is one that Santana actively works against in herself, particularly earlyon.

Mytheory has always been that Santana is a born sweetheart—that the kindhearted,bashful, soft soul she is around Brittany reflects who she really is inside andperhaps who she could have been at all times had her life experiences not promptedher to develop her “bitch persona.” Snixx is a façade, an act, and a means ofusing offense as defense to keep Santana (and Brittany) from being eaten alivein their unforgiving social environment. The insults Santana fires off, thebullying she engages in, and her whole aggressive “Lima Heights Adjacent” energy areall defense mechanisms, and practiced ones at that. They come about fromSantana, who is herself incredibly sensitive and easily wounded, knowing how tohit people where it really hurts so as to avoid herself being hit.

Makeno mistake: The consequences of Santana’s meanness are real, and I am not atall trying to absolve her of her cruelties.

However,what I am saying is that deep down, Santana doesn’t actually enjoy being mean.In fact, I’d care to wager that if she felt safe enough to drop her defenses,she’d prefer not to offend or cause relational damage. She’d like to be softer,if possible. Santana herself essentially admits that such is the case inepisode 3x08, when she tells her grandmother that pretending to be someoneshe’s not and constantly having “to fight all the time” exhausts her.

It’snotable that in later seasons, when Santana feels more comfortable beingherself and is more enmeshed with the group, she becomes noticeably kinder, andher rants become both less frequent and (for the most part) more toothless.

Of course,that’s not to say that she never flies off the handle in later seasons, asshe’ll still go for the jugular when provoked (such as when she verballyeviscerates Kurt after he disparages her and Brittany’s engagement in episode6x03), and she always maintains her hallmark snark even in situations whereshe’s relaxed. Old habits die hard, after all.

ESFJswhose attentions have been rejected tend to falter. They don’t fare well insituations where their caring attitudes and heartfelt reactions prove to be aliability.

Thetrait very much relates to two previous traits discussed.

Santanawants so much to give and receive love. She craves approval and acceptance. However,particularly early on, she seldom gets those things.

To befair, in the early seasons of the show, she certainly doesn’t do much to makeherself likeable to her glee club teammates, and she downplays and evenstraight up denies that she desires to be part of the group, to the point wherethey have every reason to consider her an outsider and even potential threat.

She sofears being rejected for reasons beyond her control that she opts to make herself unlikable for reasons she can control, so that when she is inevitably rejected, it will be on her terms (which, she subconsciously rationalizes, is somehow a more livable alternative).

Still.Even after she drops her façade and starts to openly show howmuch she cares about her teammates, they remain wary of her, not accepting thatshe is a changed person. Time and timeagain, the New Directions (both as a group and in individual instances) rejecther genuine and heartfelt gestures of love and friendship, misunderstanding theintentions behind them by expecting that her niceness comes with stringsattached or else is bait for some kind of trap. Whenever these occurrences takeplace, Santana is crushed.

Nowhereis this trait more apparent than during the Pezberry feud of S5. When Santanamoves into the Loft, she tries so hard to prove to Rachel that she has changedsince high school and goes out of her way to earn Rachel’s trust andfriendship. She offers Rachel a crying shoulder during her pregnancy scare; she takes action to extricate Rachel from her toxic relationship with Brody, resortingto the “micromanaging and getting overly involved in her friends’ lives”behavior described above; she bonds with Rachel over their personal andprofessional troubles as young twentysomethings trying to make it big in NewYork; she supports Rachel’s Broadway aspirations; she is there for Rachel after Finn’sdeath; she gets Rachel a job at the diner; she confides in Rachel about her fears anddreams; etc., etc., etc.

But Rachel never seems to fully accept Santana’s efforts atfriendship as genuine, as is proven in episode 5x09, when Rachel accuses Santanaof trying to steal her role in Funny Girlout from under her, failing to recognize that Santana is trying to emulate herrather than usurp her success.

Trueto ESFJ form, Santana is so deeply hurt by Rachel’s rejection of her friendshipthat she falls into a tailspin. Within a few weeks’ time, Santana’s retaliatorybehavior has resulted in Kurt and Dani kicking her out of their band, Dantana’s relationship deteriorating to the point of beingunsalvageable, and Santana sabotagingany and all chances that exist for reconciliation between herself and Rachel,the last of which occurs in episode 5x18, when, once again, Santana comes to Rachel’s aid, only to haveRachel second-guess her reasons for doing so (“Is that the kind of friend thatyou think that I am?”).

ThoughPezberry eventually (by S6) get back to a place where they can be civil to eachother, Santana never dares to attempt close/intimate friendship with Rachelagain. Her feelings have been too deeply hurt, and she durst not put herself ina position to get burned again.      

ESFJshave a tendency to become preoccupied with social status and influence, a traitwhich heavily influences their decision-making. They can become rigid and avoidcreativity and individual expression for fear of “rocking the boat.” ESFJs mayalso fixate on what is socially acceptable (and what is not). They are cautiousconcerning the rules and critical of anything or anyone that breaks from thenorm. ESFJs are often unwilling to experiment or step out of their individualcomfort zones. They fear of appearing—let alone being—different.

Thesetraits are more straightforwardly recognizable as “Santana,” particularly in S1and S2.

BabyGirl is obsessed with social statusand climbing the proverbial ladder of popularity. She calculates how every moveshe makes at WMHS will affect her image and refuses to take any action that shedeems too risky. She is all about accruing social capital, even at the expenseof others. Everything about her, from how she dresses to what she says to howshe interacts with her peers, is meant to keep her riding high as an HBIC.  

Shealso isn’t above pointing out how uncool others are to make herself look coolerby comparison.

ThroughoutS1 and early S2, she is constantly dragging others down in order to pullherself up. She is especially hard on anyone who deviates from social norms, whichis why she bullies Kurt for being gay and mocks Finn for dating tragically unhip Rachel.  

Soreluctant is she to jeopardize her status that she actively suppresses many ofher natural inclinations and hides her true interests—hence why though she’lladmit to her teammates that glee club is the best part of her day with onebreath, she’ll threaten with another to deny that she’s made such an admissionshould that information leak to anyone outside of the New Directions.

Ofcourse, Santana’s fear of making herself stand out or appear “different”greatly influences her early interactions with Brittany, as she remains trappedso far inside the iron closet in her mind that she can scarcely even admit toherself—let alone to anyone else, including Brittany—what her true feelingsreally are.

Eventually,thanks in large part to Brittany’s influence, Santana does largely overcome herfear of going against the grain, learning that it’s more important to be likedfor who she truly is than to be feared for who she pretends to be. Though shenever fully loses her edge, as the seasons wear on, she becomes increasinglytolerant of persons who deviate from social norms and increasingly comfortable withdeviating from social norms herself.

ESFJsmay find it challenging to change their tendencies toward rigidity andconformity because they are sensitive to what they perceive as attacks on theirconcepts of self. If someone close to them criticizes any aspect of theirself-identity (from their character to their beliefs to their habits), ESFJsoften become defensive. Their feelings are easily hurt.

Asstated above, Santana does eventually overcome some of her rigid and conformistbehaviors—but doing so is no easy task.

Santana’smost deep-seated fear is that she is unlovable, and any time someone criticizesor attacks an aspect of her intrinsic self-identity, she feels that her fearhas been justified. While she can “live with” people hating her for beingbitchy or looking down on her for being shallow (though even those slightshurt, in their own ways), she would rather die a thousand deaths than havesomeone reject her because of her true personality or due to her sexualorientation—and especially if that someone is a person who matters to her.

WhenSebastian Smythe snipes at her for being brassy (see episode 3x11), she candeal. But when Rachel Berry, who should be her friend, misjudges her character(see episode 5x09), she’s heartbroken.

Santanathen reacts to this heartbreak by going on the defensive, which is what we seefrom her in episode 5x12, when she calls Rachel out in front of the whole gleeclub, telling her she is a terrible person. That’s very much Santana’s woundedsense of self talking—which is not to justify her behavior but simply to say,once again, that, contrary to what Rachel and other characters on the showerroneously believe, Santana’s meanness doesn’t just come out of nowhere.

ESFJs thriveon appreciation and praise. Without it, they feel insecure and will fish forreassurances.

Ofcourse, the flipside to Santana being criticism-avoidant is that she is eagerfor praise.

Overthe seasons, she says numerous times that she lives for applause—but the truthis that her need for validation runs even deeper than what she lets on. It’snot just empty clapping from strangers that she’s after. She needs words ofaffirmation from people who matter to her, including genuine and heartfeltstatements that build her up and reassure her.

For asmuch bravada as she puts on, Santana is one insecure kid. As stated above, shesecretly fears that she is unlovable. Unfortunately, a lot of what shehears—from her peers, from her teachers, from the world—reinforces that beliefin her. She’s constantly being told that she, individually, is a bad person.She’s also constantly being told that she, as a member of the LGBTQ community,is generally bad and/or immoral. It’s little wonder that her self-esteem isn’tgreat, especially to start out with. Though she seldom lets on that such is thecase, she’s dying for someone to tell her that despite what everyone thinksshe’s actually a decent human being, worthy of love and capable of achievingthe dreams that matter to her.

Honestly,throughout the show, there are only two characters who really fulfill Santana’sneeds, in this regard.

Thefirst is, of course, Brittany, who is basically an endless fountain ofSantana-validation. She constantly reminds Santana to “embrace all theawesomeness that [she is]” and on many occasions enumerates Santana’s goodtraits to her. While others tell Santana how horrible she is at every possibleopportunity, Brittany is adamant that Santana is the best person she knows, whois capable of achieving anything she sets her mind to. That’s what Brittanytells Santana in a dark room at their junior prom (see episode 2x20). That’swhat she tells her as she sends her off to New York to chase her dreams (seeepisode 4x13). That’s what she tells her again when they reunite before jettingoff to Lesbos (see episode 5x13). It’s something that she says the night beforethey get engaged (see episode 6x03), and it’s undoubtedly something that she’llkeep saying again and again for the rest of their married lives.

Theonly other person on the show who offers Santana similar encouragements (thatshe doesn’t then later rescind or cover with disparagements) is Mercedes, whoparticularly in S5 goes hard on reminding Santana that she is not only atalented performer with a lot of potential but a great friend with manypositive qualities.  

ESFJslike to shower people with the attention and reassurance that they themselvescrave. However, they may go overboard in involving themselves in the lives oftheir friends and loved ones, taking actions that are ultimately unwelcome. Intending to the needs of others, ESFJs may forget to tend to their own needs.

Santanaisn’t just a cheerleader for the football team. She’s actually a huge supporterof her friends.

Admittedly,much of her “cheerleading” comes mixed in with a hefty helping of snark. Still,there’s no denying that the praise is in fact there. She sings to cheer Quinnup after her accident (see episode 3x17). She spends much of S4 and S5reassuring Kurt and especially Rachel of how talented and poised for successthey are. When Mercedes gets her record contract, she’s all over telling herhow deserving she is and how she’s destined to go far (see episode 5x18). And,oh yeah, remind me of her catchphrase when it comes to any and all thingsBrittany? That’s right: “You’re a genius.”

Hersupport for her friends and loved ones goes beyond mere words, though. She’salso—as discussed above—quick to offer direct action in order to keep herpeople safe and cared for. Sometimes what she does is welcome, such as when shesings “Valerie” to Brittany is episode 5x12 in order to remind her of hercreativity and love for dance. Other times, she takes things a step or fiftytoo far, such as when, after making several unsuccessful attempts to get Rachelto break up with the untrustworthy Brody, she goes behind Rachel’s back tosummon Finn to New York City for the purpose of kicking Brody’s ass (see episode 4x16). Santana,of course, views this action as “tough love” for Rachel—a necessary override,as it were. Rachel, naturally, sees things differently, at least initially, failing to appreciatethe intentions behind Santana’s meddling.

Learningto respect boundaries is another long process in Santana’s development. Part ofit involves becoming more mindful of what other people are comfortable with.Another part of it involves becoming more mindful of her own needs and notsacrificing her own well-being for the sake of others.

ThroughoutS4 and S5, Santana nearly kills herself trying to win Hummelberry’s approval.While both Kurt and Rachel are more than happy to have Santana rush to theirrescue when they’re in fixes, they’re also quick to kick her to the curb thesecond she steps out of line or does something to upset them (such as, for instance, in episode 4x16 after she confronts Brody at NYADA). In times ofconflict, they evict her from the Loft, form ranks against her, and eventriangulate with her girlfriend to disenfranchise her from the group. ThoughSantana certainly is no angel, she also certainly isn’t the coldhearted villainthey—and particularly Rachel—make her out to be, either. Hummelberry constantlydangling their friendship and love over her head does a number on her heart.They’re like Lucy, their acceptance is the football, and Santana is CharlieBrown, winding up to take the kick again and again and again, despiteexperiencing the same result every single time. By the time the Pezberry feudfinally comes to a head between episodes 5x09 and 5x12, Santana is an emotionalmess who doesn’t know which end is up anymore.

Ittakes resident Santana Lopez-ologist Brittany to undo the damage thatHummelberry have done to Santana’s self-esteem and to encourage Santana to justwalk away from the whole enmeshed situation because it’s detrimental to her(see episode 5x13). Santana very much takes her words to heart, deciding thenand there that while she can be civil to Hummelberry, particularly from afar,she’ll no longer keep giving them her heart to stomp on. She’ll maintain heremotional distance, keeping their “friendship” at a surface level withouttrying to achieve any sort of real social intimacy. She’ll also tend to her ownemotional needs before she tries to tend to the emotional needs of others sothat she doesn’t get burnt out again.

ESFJsmake for loyal, trustworthy romantic partners who view romantic relationshipsas sacred. They require partners whoare likewise both devoted and supportive, who provide them with senses ofsecurity and stability. No other kind of relationship is as important to anESFJ as a loving, committed, romantic bond.

Backwhen Santana is still in the habit of dating boys, infidelity is her hallmark,as she frequently cheats on her male partners and will swap one boy out foranother on a whim so long as doing so suits her social purposes. She and Puck arenowhere near monogamous. Finn is a pit stop for her, at best. She cheats on Samwith Brittany and then starts dating Karofsky before she and Sam even properlybreak up. Ask any of her ex-boyfriends if they would consider her either “trustworthy”or “loyal,” and they’d probably laugh right in your face.

Butnot so with Brittany. Though Santana does break up with Brittany in S4, have aone-night stand with Quinn shortly thereafter, and eventually date DaniWaitress for a time during S5, Santana remains emotionally monogamous with Brittanythroughout the duration of the show, and at times when she and Brittany aredating she is entirely faithful to her. Though in early seasons of the show,Santana and Brittany cheat on other partners with each other, once they becomea committed couple they never cheat on each other with anyone else—a rare featfor a Glee couple.

In fact, the second that Santana realizes that she is even mildly attracted to another girl while dating Brittany, she immediately breaks up with Brittany, for fear that her attraction could potentially lead to unfaithfulness (see episode 4x04).

Still,Santana’s loyalty and trustworthiness as a romantic partner for Brittany runseven deeper than just emotional monogamy and fidelity. She’s also loyal andtrustworthy in the sense that Brittany can rely on her as a stalwart support—assomeone who’ll be there for her no matter what.

ThatSantana views her and Brittany’s relationship as sacred is clear from both herwords and her deeds. She frequently describes Brittany’s goodness and theedifying effect that Brittany’s love has on her life (see, for example, herspeech about Brittany to Rory in episode 3x04 or her proposal in episode 6x03).She also treats Brittany with tenderness and appreciation, being kind to, patient with, and compassionate towards her in a way she is to no one else. 

Asdiscussed above, Brittany is the biggest source of support and stability inSantana’s life. Santana falters at times when they’re apart and thrives attimes when they’re together. Just watch the choir room scene in episode 5x13 orthe bedroom scene in episode 6x03, and you can see how much Santana physicallyrelaxes in Brittany’s presence. It’s clear that Santana never feels safer thanshe does in Brittany’s arms. It’s also clear that as long as Santana hasBrittany by her side, she’ll be okay, no matter what obstacles and challengescome her way.

ESFJsmate for life, with a strong desire for marriage and family.

Earlyon, before she is at a place in her life where she can believe that her dreamswill come true, Santana talks a big game about not needing anyone and muses thatshe’ll marry an NFL player someday, not for love but for “reliability.” Butonce Santana realizes that Brittany reciprocates her love and that theyactually stand a chance to be together for the long run, she gives in to hertrue romantic nature and starts seeing things in terms of always and forever.

Itmeans so much to Santana when she and Brittany can finally be married—you canjust see it written all over her face, in that big, effulgent smile she wearson their wedding day (see episode 6x08). Her eyes actually sparkle. Brittany is her dream girl,her North Star, her family, and she is so happy to take Brittany as her wife.It’s something she’s wanted since long before she ever allowed herself to fullyprocess the desire. It’s her perfect happy ending, an absolute dream come true.

FunFact: Some of the MBTI type sites I visited mentioned that ESFJs make greatcheerleaders and can be talented stage performers. Sounds like a certain formerCheerios captain and frequent high school musical show-stealer we know of, no?

ESFJsare known as the “consul” type, meaning that they are comfortable in leadershippositions, possess excellent planning skills, and highly value loyalty. Theyoften take on the concerns of others as if they were their own. They don’t shyaway from sharing their evaluations—especially regarding the behavior ofothers—with the world. However, while they can dish criticisms out, theysometimes can’t take them, particularly if those criticisms challenge theirsenses of self. ESFJs are not only deeply emotional but also highly expressiveof their emotions. Everyone knows what they feel and how. Socialization plays a big role in their lives, and they canfrequently be found filling “host” positions at gatherings, organizing thepeople around them.  

WhileSantana does (particularly initially) suppress and act against some of hernatural ESFJ tendencies, the truth is that she fits the type pretty well. She’sa born planner and schemer who is heavy into social politics and big on lookingafter the people she cares about, and she thrives on validation, especiallyfrom those she is closest to. She never hesitates to give her opinion on thepeople around her, whether she’s snarking about their wardrobe choices or,later on, extolling their positive qualities to boost their self-esteems.Though her feelings are easily hurt and she can sometimes be a conformist, sheis also capable of being an awesome friend, both supportive and protective ofthe people who matter to her. Her leadership skills are apparent when shecaptains the Cheerios. Her care for others is likewise apparent in the ways shetries to help her friends, especially in S4 and S5, as well as in her andBrittany’s relationship.  

Ididn’t spend a lot of time looking into it, but a cursory glance around the ol’interwebs would suggest that ENFPs and ESFJs tend to complement each other wellin romantic relationships, possessing a good balance of commonalities anddifferences.

Anyhow,I’ve gone on long enough now.

Thanksfor the question!  

[tanadrin]

Harpesson

(reposted b/c I apparently deleted the original at some point)

NALEFOR, PARSENOR; IN THE 363RD MILLENIUM SINCE THE EXILE BEGAN

Harpesson sat in the front row of the empty lecture hall and fretted. In her nine years in university, fretting was something she had become quite good at. The familiar, if not quite comfortable sensation of low-level panic. She turned her tablet over nervously in her hands, and sometimes she got up to pace. Then she would sit down again, and smooth her senior scholar’s robes, trying to force herself to relax. But invariably, she would find herself up and pacing again.

It was only the biggest day of her academic career so far, the examination for tesarate, the culmination of three years of postgraduate research on top of the year she had spent on her senior scholarship. If her thesis was found to be a significant contribution to the advancement of her field–History, Technological Archeology, one of the most prestigious departments in the entire university–she would be wearing tesar’s robes before the afternoon. If she failed–well, it wasn’t the end of the world. But it felt like it would be. It wouldn’t be unusual, even. The Sovereign and Unreformed University of Parsenor at Pelehante was hands-down the most prestigious institution in the system, and a history tesarate wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. But she really, really did not want to fail. She dropped her tablet.

“Shit.” The vulgarity hung in the cavernous space of the empty lecture hall. She picked up her tablet and flopped back down in her chair. The choice of venue was not helping her nerves. There was an engineering conference or something taking up all the seminar rooms in the history department, so they’d moved her presentation at the last minute to the biggest and most intimidating room in the pylon. Tall columns rose against the walls, long and narrow arcs of steel that joined in a vaulted ceiling, at a precipitous height, as though to dwarf anybody who had the temerity to stand in the front of the chamber. The entire back wall was a massive delta-shaped window which offered an impressive view of the basaltic plains of Nalefor. Just on the horizon was the low outline of the Expedition Hills, which marked the edge of the Great Crater. It was a striking image, but barren. Nalefor’s atmosphere was tenuous, barely distinguishable from a vacuum, and the surface was scoured by radiation. Not a good place to go for a walk, even in a spacesuit. High above the horizon was the massive disk of Nalefor’s primary, the gas giant Pelehante. Its upper cloud layers were stripes of tan and white, its disk waxing gibbous in the sunlight. Harpesson sighed, and sank even deeper into her chair.

The sound of one of the hall’s side doors opening made her bolt upright. Two tall, gray-haired academics came in. The first was Wunai, chief of the history department. Her specialty was technological archeology, and she looked severe in her dark tesar’s robes. Harpesson felt her palms begin to sweat. The second was the more genial-looking Gunasi Ar, one of the history professors. She wasn’t sure which specialty. There was supposed to be a third, Harpesson knew. They usually got three examiners, one who knew your subject inside and out, one who could see how your understanding of your specialty integrated with your understanding of your general field, and one for any interdisciplinary considerations. Harpesson was worried about that last one. She had had to do some work on diachronic linguistics for her thesis, and she had heard a rumor that the third examiner was going to be —

The door opened and a man strode in. Harpesson’s stomach sank. He looked younger than both Gunasi and Wunai; he had dark hair, almost black, and a smooth, nearly wrinkleless face. In reality, he was by far the oldest person in the room. Harpesson knew him by reputation: he was Yizhad Girvát, a cyborg with excellent facial prostheses, linguistics professor, and notorious hardass. He nodded to Wunai and Gunasi as he came in, but didn’t acknowledge the panicking eulesar in the front row. When the examiners had dispensed with the pro forma small talk, Wunai touched a button on her tablet, causing a bench and three seats to rise from the stage of the lecture hall. The tesars took their places. Harpesson got to her feet unsteadily.

You can do this, Harp, she said to herself. Focus. You know this shit like the back of your hand. Just focus. She took a deep breath, and felt her anxiety fall away. The time for worry was over. A calm confidence took its place.

“Are you ready to start?” Wunai asked. Gunasi flashed a maternal smile. Harpesson cracked her neck.

“Let’s do this,” she said.

Gunasi chuckled. Harpesson had always liked the old Ar most, out of all the history tesars. It was good to have a friend on the board of examiners. She glanced at Girvát. His face was utterly impassive. Well, it could be worse. Maybe.

“Very well.” Wunai touched the interface to start the official record. “Eule Harpesson has indicated she is ready to begin. Therefore, let it be known that the examination of Eule Harpesson for tesarate in history has begun. Eulesar, we have all looked over your thesis. Would you prefer to begin with the presentation, or the questioning?”

“We can start with the questioning, Department Chief,” Harpesson said. Wunai nodded.

“So,” Wunai said. “Your thesis was on the computing technology of the Yunamo diaspora, particularly as it related to astronomy and navigation, yes?” Harpesson nodded. “In your introduction, you make the argument that the Yunamo systems design evinces a lack of distinction between the two functions. Elaborate.”

Harpesson cleared her throat. “Well, ah, I’m really just following Faradign’s appraisal of the functional nature of astronomy in diaspora technology, so far as that goes. He pretty firmly established that in contrary to, you know, system-based societies like Parsenor, astronomy is much more than a scientific or theoretical pursuit. It’s actually intrinsic to survival, and that importance causes it to transcend the normal social dynamics of science.”

“We are aware of Faradign’s work,” Gunasi said. Gently, though, like he just wanted her to get to the point. She could do that.

“Well, Faradign compares it to the engineering-rituals in that respect, as you know, which I think is flawed, since we’re talking about something that, though essentially pragmatic, still operates over the time-frame of millennia, or many millennia. It’s not just ritualized practice, it’s elevated to revelation, or sacred scripture–because there has to be a long-term perspective maintained, and that’s the only cognitive toolkit the diasporas really have at their disposal.” Harpesson could feel herself at risk of a digression – but fuck it, it was an interesting topic, even if it wasn’t directly relevant to her thesis. “So what you see with astronomy in the diaspora is — repeatedly, in completely distinct cultures, ones with no contact at all between them — a kind of religious attitude toward astronomy, but one meshed with the scientific method. It’s a blend of the two, which you don’t find anywhere in system cultures. And the important thing is, navigation is the flip side of the same coin. It’s, like, the priesthood. The initiates to the mysteries of astronomy.” Harpesson continued, giving as quick an overview as she could of the Yunamo sources she was using for that comparison: the personified stars, the myths of the constellations, which shifted and evolved as the stars themselves did in the wake of the Yunamo’s journeys; the astronomer-epics, and the theological differences which had led to the Great Betrayal, and the schismatic Faithless turning aside on the Yunamo’s journey, who eventually made their way to Parsenor, centuries ago, summoned by the faros of Vannecor. For a little extra zest, she even skated quickly over comparable frameworks from some of the other diasporas in Parsenor’s history. Wunai looked pleased at the end. It was Gunasi’s turn to ask a question.

“Talk to me about your methodology, with regard to systems analysis.” Harpesson shifted nervously.

 “Can you get a little more specific, please?” she asked.

“Reconstruction of partially-attested systems, use of abandoned file formats, that sort of thing.”

 Harpesson took a deep breath, then launched into her spiel on programming language cladistics, cross-cultural approaches to programming frameworks, and heritable computer design. This was by far her strongest subject–her parents were both computer scientists, who had passed on their love of obscure systems and ancient file formats to her, and that plus her interest in history had made technological archeology basically the perfect fit for her.

She kept going until she saw that Gunasi had heard more than enough to satisfy, then started wrapping things up. “I mean, in some respects it resembles the study of natural languages” — glance at Girvát, still nothing — ”but of course programming languages are constructed, and systems have to be considered. I suppose they most resemble constructed languages in that respect, but over long periods of time, groups of programming methodologies emerge with common features that you can group into something like metalanguages, which evolve with respect to one another in a way which is conducive to comparative study, like natural languages. Though of course these second-order phenomena are much more unstable over similar time periods, especially compared to natural languages that change very slowly in diaspora societies.” Gunasi sat back, evidently pleased. Harpesson allowed herself a mental fist pump. Girvát’s turn now, though. She braced herself.

“If you don’t mind, te-Gunas and te-Wunai,” Girvát said, “I’m most curious about the plate fragment you describe in chapter seven.”

Harpesson smiled. This was her secret weapon; if this didn’t impress Girvát, the man was unimpressable. “A curious artifact indeed,” she said. “Titanium with a platinum coating, nearly the size of a full-grown adult, and a fragment of a larger piece still. Engraved with a complex millimeter-scale pattern. It comes directly from the private collection of a man whose grandmother was one of the faithless Yunamo. The legends surrounding the plate indicate it once had a practical function, a long time ago; but the sojourners had quite forgotten whatever that function was, long before it reached Parsenor. It looked like an encoding scheme, so I ran a comparison with known Yunamo file formats, and found something likely-looking in the neighborhood of image compression. But the format was a variant, and it took me a few months to write a program capable of reading the data.”

Gunasi nodded. “Very impressive, Eule Harpesson. What did you find?”

Harpesson glanced at Girvát. Still nothing. She plunged onward. “In short, it was part of a star chart, encoded on a metal plate, maybe as a backup in case of catastrophic systems failure, or perhaps as an icon in its own right. So I pulled up astrometrics for various points along the path of the Yunamo diaspora, based on the records of the faithless, and I found this.” She touched a button on her tablet. The window of the lecture hall went opaque, and an image was projected onto it. It was a stylized star chart beside a more realistically rendered starfield. The chart showed each star as a different polygon based on its stellar classification–except for one star near the middle, which was a circle. The same star, barely visible, was circled in the rendering.

“It was confusing, at first,” said Harpesson. “The matching image is incredibly ancient, predating even the oldest of the Yunamo records–that view is what the distant ancestors of the Yunamo would have seen more than ten thousand years ago, roughly coeval with the Gaharrin or the Essemaian diasporas of Parsenor’s own history. There was nothing in the image to indicate why this star was special. Maybe it was obvious to the people who made the file, but not to their descendants. So I combed through the ancillary data, which pointed to a couple other ancient file-fragments on the same system. I found a copy of that in the university archives.” She tapped her tablet again, and a block of text appeared below the other image, with a section highlighted.

“This, te-Girvát, I think is why they asked you to be here. That’s a copy of a copy of a transcription of a file annotation, referencing the star chart, but in a language that antedates the file by a good three or four thousand years. Perhaps the chartmaker could read that language, or perhaps he was copying an older image that included the same note. In any case, I had to do some linguistic detective work. Once I established the language was related to several Yunamo daughter-languages, I was able to reconstructed what it said, I think fairly accurately, based on the vocabulary alone.” She tapped another button, and more text appeared, this time in clear Toltó. She watched Girvát’s face as he read it.

Absolute galactice coordinates 134:577.7 K-class star, 0.78 solar masses Periodic transit interval 16.9 million seconds Approximate radius 5000 km

Girvát’s brow furrowed, and he picked up his tablet and began tapping away at it. Harpesson smiled to herself. It wasn’t much, but it was a reaction. Hopefully the right one. She continued with her presentation, though Girvát seemed only to be half-paying attention. “In any case, the relevancy to that chapter is what the artifact revealed both about file formats and programming languages. The tablet-language — we’re tentatively going with ‘Old Digital Yunamo’ for now — seems to be the lexical basis for a few of the more important high-level Yunamo programming languages, particularly the Latter Astrometric Software group. It seems long after the terminology the languages use had become entirely opaque, these programming languages were maintained to ensure compatability with old navigation equipment. The study also proved illuminating in that–”

Girvát held up his hand. Harpesson froze. “Eule Harpesson,” he said slowly, “did you ever think to ask why the ancient Yunamo felt the need to maintain compatability with old star-charts and navigation equipment, even after they left the region of the galaxy for which those charts had been designed?”

Harpesson shook her head. This could not be going anywhere good.

“Did you examine other archived Yunamo files — logs, records, literature, computer games — to attempt to ascertain the significance of the K-class star the recovered chart marks?”

She shook her head again.

“Did you examine the other archived Yunamo files–logs, records, literature, computer games, personal journals–to attempt to ascertain the significance of the K-class star in question?”

“No,” said Harpesson. “Of course not. That would have been way outside my–”

“Your area of interest?” Girvát asked. Harpesson nodded. “Sometimes, Eule Harpesson, we ought to pursue these things no matter where they lead, even if it takes us ‘way outside’ our area of interest. Did you even discuss this chapter with your thesis advisor?”

Harpesson shook her head. She had done that chapter on her own. It wasn’t like she had a good reason for that, except it was peripheral to the rest of her thesis, and she wanted to surprise te-Ina with it. He had an interest in old star charts. She wished she could fall through the floor. She had no idea why Girvát was giving her the third degree. The other two examiners were staring at him, so clearly she wasn’t the only one. Girvát stood up.

“Eule Harpesson, step forward!”

Wunai opened her mouth to speak, but Girvát just stared at her. Perhaps out of surprise more than anything else, Wunai retreated. Harpesson took a nervous step forward toward the tesars’ bench, then another.

“By my authority as a senior master of this university,” Girvát intoned, ”I hereby declare you te-Harpes within these walls, examined and found proficient in the field of History, Diaspora Studies, and te-Harpes within these walls, examined and found proficient in the field of Science, Astronomy with a Specialization in Exoplanetary Science. I will leave it to the good tesars of your department to determine whether you have qualified as proficient in History, Technological Archeology, but if I may offer my input, te-Wunai, I recommend that te-Harpes be made a tesar thereof immediately.”

Wunai’s mouth hung slightly open, and one eyebrow was raised in surprise; Gunasi had begun to sputter.

“Now hold on a minute, Yizhad,” she said. “Her work is excellent, but we have barely begun our examination – and you are a master of linguistics, not of astronomy or history!”

“According to the ancient regulations of the university, any master may declare a qualified eulesar a master in his or her own subject, or any subject to which the eulesar makes a self-evidently groundbreaking contribution,” said Girvát calmly. “And if you take my advice, Department Chief, not only will you make te-Harpes a tesar of technological archeology, you will make her a professor as well.”

Wunai’s other eyebrow shot up. “We don’t have the funding–”

“Then get the funding, te-Wunai,” said Girvat. “Because te-Harpes has just made the most important contribution to that field, and to a half-dozen others, in the history of this university.”

“You have really got to explain yourself at some point,” said Wunai calmly.

“And we should make our humanities students sit in on astronomy lectures from time to time,” Girvát muttered. He pressed a button on his tablet, and Harpesson’s presentation disappeared from the projection. It was replaced by a diagram of a yellow-orange star, with a band of space around it highlighted in blue.

“A K-class star of 0.78 solar masses,” he said, “has about 40% solar luminosity and a surface temperature of about 5,100 Kelvin. Or so a few quick calculations inform me. And an orbital period of 16.9 million seconds puts a putative terrestrial planet right in its sun’s habitable zone.”

Gunasi and Wunai shifted in their seats. “An interesting discovery, te-Girvát,” said Gunasi, “and doubtless a feather in Eule Harpesson’s cap—”

“Te-Harpes,” Girvát interjected.

“Um. Yes, te-Harpes’ cap, but I still don’t see...”

Girvat pressed another button. Harpesson’s presentation reappeared. He scrolled through the transcript of the file annotation, to a point just beyond the one Harpesson translated. “If te-Harpes’ reconstruction is accurate–and it appears to be excellent” – at this, he looked at Harpesson and smiled. He actually smiled. Harpesson felt like she was going to pass out from the shock. She had never seen Girvát smile at anything – “then the word right there, right next to ‘transit’ is ‘diatomic oxygen.’”

Wunai looked like she’d been struck, Gunasi’s face was pale. Harpesson was bewildered, and she had the feeling whatever was happening had completely gotten away from her.

Wunai stood up. “We should be able to locate the star on Parsenor-local charts and make our own telescopic survey. I doubt the transit will be visible from Parsenor, but we still might be able to confirm the presence of planets. I imagine the university will want to send robotic probes first, but if the Yunamo did indeed reach this world... a manned expedition will be inevitable. Peleho only knows what they’ve...” She trailed off, then turned to Harpesson.

“Te-Harpes! No... that won’t do. Senior master Harpesson!”

Harpesson had a sudden sense of vertigo. She was pretty sure she had just set the land speed record for ascent through the university’s academic ranks, and she still had no idea what was going on. She managed a small, quiet “Yes?”

“This is your achievement, however accidental it may be. A great deal will have to be planned and discussed. It may be years before this discovery begins to bear fruit directly. But I think I speak for the entire tesarate of the university when I say this discovery is, first and foremost, your triumph. If you wish to lead a manned expedition – well, I imagine it would require extensive cyberization, at least, and a long period in cold sleep... and other costs. Many diasporas have come to Parsenor, but we have never attempted one of our own.”

Harpesson was shaking her head violently before Wunai finished. “No no no,” she said, “I get sick just on interplanetary shuttles–I don’t... what’s going–”

Wunai turned to Gunasi before she could finish. “Te-Gunas, if you would be so kind as to upgrade te-Harpes’ key and permissions, and show her to her new office” -  Wunai glanced at Harpesson – ”and maybe get a stiff drink in her, too. I need to contact the Provost.”

Girvát held up his tablet. “I’ve already called a meeting of the tesarate for this evening. See if the Provost can’t get in touch with some heads of state while you’re at it.” Wunai nodded, and swept out of the lecture hall.

“Just a moment, te-Harpes,” said Gunasi. “I’ll go and fetch your tesar’s robes.” The old Ar rose, and followed Wunai out.

Harpesson stood in the middle of the room for a long moment, now empty except for her and Girvát, who was calmly typing away on his tablet.

“E-excuse me,” she said. “What’s going on? What’s the big deal? What the... what the hell just happened to me?” She threw her tablet down on the floor. “Oxygen, sure great, it’s rare and hard to extract. Planet full of it, good news! Planet many light years away, bad news!”

Girvát stopped typing, and looked up. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Lifelong habit of theatrics. I forgot you don’t have a planetary science background, and I should have explained.

“Diatomic oxygen is rare in nature. Oxygen is highly reactive, and doesn’t persist long in planetary atmospheres because of its reactivity. There are only a few classes of chemical reaction which are liable to produce large, detectable quantities of it, of the sort you might notice in a planet’s atmosphere, if you were looking very carefully at the spectrum of emissions of the parent star, when the planet passed in front of it. For the Yunamo stargazers to have seen any at all, the planet in question would have had a considerable amount. That was why they took such an interest in that world; why the data about its location in the sky became a sacred icon to their ancestors, and why they focused their entire civilization, for hundreds of generations, on the goal of reaching that distant star. And that was why, even when the faithless of the Yunamo turned aside on their voyage and forgot their purpose, and eventually wound their way to Parsenor, even when they had all but forgotten the promises of their scripture and the rituals of old, the sign of that planet remained embedded in the heart of their archives.

“That world represents everything our species has been seeking since we began to wander among the stars — since Earth was lost to us, long ago. That world is habitable. That world has life.”

[snarktheater]

Ready Player One — Level Two (Chapters 26-27)

“I figured it out later that night, a few hours after Shoto left my stronghold.”

See, when I said that Wade making a mistake in the search for the Jade Key didn’t prove the book understands character flaw, I didn’t think the book would literally have Wade go back to having a random, convenient epiphany for the next step in the Easter Egg hunt. This book is the gift that keeps on giving, in that I rarely have to go very far to elaborate on my arguments: usually, all I need to do is turn the page.

The epiphany, by the way, happened because Wade was randomly folding the wrapper the Jade Key came in, and suddenly remember there’s a scene with a unicorn origami in Blade Runner.

The moment I said the word “unicorn” aloud, the wrapper began to fold on its own, there in the palm of my hand.

…Okay, sure. That’s nice, I guess.

From this, Wade decides that the “test” mentioned on the Jade Key must be the Voight-Kampff test from Blade Runner. The book also exposits to us what that is, and what Blade Runner is. And while the book does mention the movie’s based on a Phillip K. Dick novel, I’m not getting the impression that Wade has read it. I mean, it doesn’t even mention at any point (in this chapter or anywhere in the book) the phrase “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”

Anyway. There’s a convenient re-creation of the Tyrell Building from Blade Runner as part of the OASIS standard planet-building kit, meaning that building (and the Voight-Kampff test located in it) can be found on any number of planet. Do I really still need to call attention to the fact that the planet-building tool apparently contains hundreds of other assets similarly taken from existing properties, or have I made my point clear enough about the death of originality in this book yet?

So, Wade goes to the closest planet that features one such replica, Axrenox. It doesn’t matter what that planet is. Actually, not much of anything matters. I mean, the book spends a whole paragraph telling us about how Wade hopes nobody will steal his ship while it’s parked on Axrenox, but—spoiler alert—nobody will. I’m calling attention to it because it’s the second time Wade has expressed worry that someone would steal his transportation method, and the second time nothing comes of it. At some point you have to ask if someone’s not projecting a little too much. And I don’t mean the fictional character here.

Speaking of things that don’t matter: writing a good action scene as Wade goes through the replicants that guard the place. Because, yes, the planet-building kit includes guards in the building too.

The next ten minutes played out like the climax of a John Woo movie. One of the ones starring Chow Yun Fat, like Hard Boiled or The Killer.

Shitty writing aside, I want to point out that the book really shows how much it understands Blade Runner’s theme and central message by…treating the replicants as disposable mooks in a John Woo movie. Like, sure, they’re constructs in a video game, but still. Good job.

Speaking of not understanding the point, remember how the clue was like “take the test”? Yeah, if you know what the Voight-Kampff test is, you might have gotten a little enthusiastic there, since that test is meant to ascertain the ability to empathize with others. Which would be hilarious to see Wade Watts take. Sadly, no, the test only acts as a gateway to a 3D recreation of a video game that Wade has already mastered.

I honestly feel like it’d be insulting to you if I were to recap what happens next in detail. It’s a game. Halliday dropped a hint at it in his will video, which is mentioned to justify Wade being a master at the game. There’s another case of the book using romaji to transcribe the title of the game in Japanese, even though, again, that name is just English words written with Japanese characters and phonotactics. There’s still no tension; I mean, we literally go from Wade explaining the rules of the simulation and how he can’t leave to…

I managed to clear all eight levels of the game in just under three hours.

Oh, sure, after that he tells us how he got close to dying at one point. Like…thanks for telling me I should have been worried in the time you skipped.

At the end of the trial, he gets to choose a giant robot from fiction from a list (some of which already crossed out due to being picked by the Sixers).

I stopped cold when I saw Leopardon, the giant transforming robot used by Supaidaman, the incarnation of Spider-Man who appeared on Japanese TV in the late 1970s. I’d discovered Supaidaman during the course of my research and had become somewhat obsessed with the show. So I didn’t care if Leopardon was the most powerful robot available. I had to have him, regardless.

Okay, so, I just rambled about the romaji, so I won’t do it again here, though you should know it still annoys me. But I will say I’m pleasantly surprised that Wade actually made a decision derived from passion for something. I was starting to wonder if that would ever happen.

Anyway. Wade gets a toy replica of the Leopardon, and with that, he’s now cleared the Second Gate, and receives a hint to the Crystal Key’s location, in the form of a logo of a star inside a circle. This sounds like a pretty generic symbol, but Wade recognizes it. Probably because, if you look it up, it is actually distinct enough:

It just so happens the book describes it really poorly:

Then a symbol slowly appeared in the center of the screen: a glowing red circle with a five-pointed star inside it. The points of the star extended just beyond the outer edge of the circle.

The book skips over Wade leaving the Tyrell building, by the way. I guess the guards only prevent you from entering? I don’t know, because the book won’t tell me. Once he’s back on his ship…wait, I’ve gotta point this out:

And thanks be to Crom, the Vonnegut was still parked right where I’d left it, its cloaking device still engaged.

I already mentioned the ship would not in fact get stolen, but…“thanks be to Crom”? This isn’t even something he’s done until now. It’s just a random reference out of the blue.

Back to the plot. The red star and the image I just showed you are from a music album, 2112 by the band Rush. I don’t know anything about them, but the album is apparently about…

a time when creativity and self-expression have been outlawed.

So…like this book’s world, then?

Wade somehow knows exactly which lyrics on the album are relevant to finding the Crystal Key: a passage about the “Priests of the Temple of Syrinx”, because there’s a planet Syrinx somewhere in the OASIS with a temple in it. And by “a temple” I mean 1024 copies of the city described in the album’s supplemental material. Because copy-paste is an excellent substitute for good ideas. You know, between this, the planet with hundreds of copies of Halliday’s hometown, the planet with hundreds of copies of that text adventure game, and oh, the fact that the game’s planet-building tool contains hundreds of licensed assets. I mean, you can make the technology to run a lifelike VR simulation, but procedural generation and original art assets are both out of reach?

No, I will never stop being angry about this. It’s lazy writing and lazy in-universe, and it heavily undermines the idea that the OASIS somehow dominated the market. I mean, think about it: right now, the videogame market’s latest trend is Battle Royale games. The first game that managed to put the genre where it is is Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds, but because it lacked any original assets—and was frankly shoddily made because it was rushed into early release in order to be the first out—it was easily outdone by Fortnite, a game with a more competent team and actually creative people working on it, specifically because the concept alone isn’t going to make a game win on the market (and it also makes for very weak ground to sue people for copyright infringement once they beat you, Bluehole).

A concept can be replicated—don’t ever believe the myth of the indispensable lone genius, i.e. Halliday in this case, there’s always someone else, or a group of people, who can replicate your idea and probably improve on it while they’re at it. So I cannot for even a minute believe that there isn’t someone who couldn’t make the OASIS, except, you know, better. Hell, that’s what IOI should do, instead of investing loads of money into a contest to take over the OASIS with a very low chance of success.

Ahem. I’m getting off-topic, aren’t I? Well, that’s okay, because the actual action is as stilted as usual. Wade lands on the planet, and I guess IOI didn’t attempt to leave people to guard it or anything so he’s all alone. He finds the temple mentioned in the song, and figures he has to make an offering at the altar. Luckily, he instantly knows what other lyrics of the album are relevant, and they lead him to a secret cave behind a waterfall. If you think I’m rushing through the scene…barely. It takes him a paragraph to search the cave, for instance. The book’s as uninterested in this as I am. Which…you know, it shouldn’t be.

What does he find in the secret room in the secret cave, you ask? An electric guitar. It’s another reference to the album, but also, it’s stuck in a stone.

I grinned at the absurd Arthurian image of the guitar in the stone. Like every gunter, I’d seen John Boorman’s film Excalibur many times, so it seemed obvious what I should do next.

Yes, really. Apparently Arthurian legends are no longer widely known and the only reference Wade has is a specific movie adaptation of the mythos. Because that makes sense.

So Wade gets the special guitar, and it turns out he knows how to play it (in the OASIS, that is), and he’s randomly inspired to play the song 2112, even though there isn’t really anything prompting him to do. But it’s lucky, because it makes another clue show up:

The first was ringed in red metal The second, in green stone The third is clearest crystal and cannot be unlocked alone

Had the Sixers played the song and discovered this message? I seriously doubted it. They would have pulled the guitar from the stone and immediately returned it to the temple.

Yeah, so, because Wade played the guitar for no clear reason, Wade now has an advantage over the Sixers. Thanks, author puppetmaster! It’s not like giving characters a clear motivation to do what they do is difficult or useful to reinforce the book’s verisimilitude!

I mean, for real. Would it really be so hard to say Wade just…felt like playing the special guitar before he offered it at the altar in the table? It’s really not that hard.

Also, what the fuck is up with that hint? No, really. Now Halliday wants to encourage cooperation in his contest? Don’t you think it’s a little too late? Also, why do that at the last stage? Does that mean multiple people will get the egg at the same time…by design? That’s not gonna backfire at all.

Anyway, Wade returns the guitar to the temple, and when he puts it on the altar, it turns into the Crystal Key as planned.

my score on the Scoreboard increased by 25,000 points. When added to the 200,000 I’d received for clearing the Second Gate, that brought my total score up to 353,000 points, one thousand points more than Sorrento. I was back in first place.

As a hint for the location of the Third Gate, Wade only gets a stylized A. It’s actually the symbol of Halliday’s avatar Anorak—and of his castle. Because of course he has a castle in the OASIS.

the castle was impregnable and always had been. No avatar but Anorak himself had ever been able to pass through its entrance. But now I knew there must be a way to enter Castle Anorak. Because the Third Gate was hidden somewhere inside.

You know, Halliday making his own impregnable location inside of his own game explains a lot about why the OASIS is so permissive towards griefers. It was made by one.

Speaking of griefers, now that someone else has found the Crystal Key, guess who made an impenetrable dome around Castle Anorak? Yep, it’s the Sixers! And yes, there’s an artefact that lets you create a literally impenetrable barrier around a location in the OASIS. Again, who designs this?

The news of this soon reaches the gunter and clans, who all converge on the planet Chthonia, even though, you know, they don’t have the Crystal Key yet. But in spite of being in a really bad spot, Wade decides not to give up this time. I mean, it’s not like the Sixers having the exact same advantage (exclusive access to the Third Gate) didn’t make him fantasize about committing suicide three chapters ago or anything. That’s character consistency right there.

Yes, I’m still bitter that the book went there.

I began to formulate a plan. A bold, outrageous plan that would require epic amounts of luck to pull off.

Well considering how the rest of the book has gone, I’m not exactly on the edge of my seat here.

So Wade emails Artemis, Aech and Shoto the location of the Second Gate and the Crystal Key, and prepares to put the rest of his plan in motion, while the book attempts to end “Level Two” on a cliffhanger.

Once I was sure all three of them had received my message, I initiated the next phase of my plan. This was the part that terrified me, because I knew there was a good chance it was going to end up getting me killed. But at this point, I no longer cared. I was going to reach the Third Gate, or die trying.

I did say “attempts to”. I mean, this is the first time Wade actually has a plan, and the “reach it or die trying” has sort of been his MO so far. But hey. Nice attempt.

[jordan202]

Maybe This Time

Hey guys, I was watching the scenes from episode 12 and it just got me thinking… I don’t usually write a different story while working on something else, but I was probably going to forget about the idea I had. I didn’t plan for it to take this turn but the story got a life of its own :) 

Oh, I am in a hurry for a double shift so I didn’t ask anyone to proofread. I apologize in advance for my mistakes. The title isn’t coincidental.

Maybe This Time

Amelia nervously tapped her fingers on the working desk, too anxious for the computer results. During the past week, as she watched her patient being submitted to radiotherapy to treat a recurrent tumor, the neurosurgeon had struggled to come up with a viable plan that might allow her team to properly fund their ambitious plan.

While she knew the procedure was a sort of a Hail Mary and had its flaws, Amelia was desperately in need of something that would give her patient hope.

Maybe the reason behind all that was that she needed something to give her hope.

Lately, her life had been nothing but a mess. After a failed marriage, which she refused to think much about, and a brain tumor that had given Amelia answers about her impulsivity but had also served to confuse her feelings even more, the neurosurgeon longed for something that would be good and actually help someone. It was actually easier to focus her energy on the study for Kimmie’s tumor and devote her entire time to it than trying to figure out the mess that her personal life had become.

“So, have you come up with anything yet?”

Amelia’s thoughts were distracted by the sound of Alex Karev’s words and she saw the look of defeat on his face. Much to her own dismay, he also hadn’t been successful to get any kind of support for their project. It pretty much seemed like a dead end for them. Even Bello and DeLuca were losing motivation and Amelia couldn’t blame them. There were several other projects out there that were soaring and the eager interns probably would rather spend their time actually learning something than staying immersed on a computer all day doing research.

Alex gazed at the neurosurgeon and saw the consternation on her face.

“It looks like we’re really going to lose this battle,” Karev commented, obviously unhappy about it.

Amelia hated that situation. And she hated what she was about to propose. But then she thought of Kimmie’s joy and the girl’s happiness at sharing her gift with the world. Something had to be done.

“Not yet,” Amelia said with determination, looking into Alex’s eyes. “I have an idea…”

.

“You have to be kidding me,” Thomas Koracick’s annoyance was obvious not only in his voice, but also on the look on his face and the way he walked, “you have to be freaking kidding me.”

“Look, Tom, I…”

“YOU tricked me here saying you had a groundbreaking project for me,” Koracick nearly hissed, looking at his former’s student with impatience. “I actually bailed on presenting a case at the American College of Surgeons and got on a flight to this hell hole because I believed you and this is what you have for me?” he frowned, absolutely irritated. “HIFU? Are you kidding me?”

Amelia sighed heavily, knowing she shouldn’t be surprised. A couple of days before, she had gotten in touch with her former boss at Johns Hopkins. Tom Koracick ran the neurosurgical department there and had more resources at his disposal than anyone else she could remember. A few weeks prior to that, Tom had flown over to operate on her brain tumor and he’d even stuck around to help her get her department back on track once she was recovered. Before he could return to Hopkins, the two of them had slept together but Amelia knew it hadn’t really meant anything. Not to her, at least, and she supposed that not for Tom either.

For Amelia, it had been all about having a rebound after her complicated separation from her husband. It still sounded funny to think of Owen as that, since they weren’t even living in the same house anymore… But until their divorce was finalized, Amelia knew that technically, that was what he was.

And for Tom, sleeping with her had probably been about his own ego. Amelia knew he was a womanizer and even though during her residency the guy had been extremely professional, never had he hidden the fact that if Amelia ever gave him an opening, he wouldn’t hesitate to sleep with her. She had never really been interested, especially while he was her boss. But now, the two of them were at a leveled position, both ran neurosurgical departments and Amelia had impulsively done it. Physically, it had felt okay, but emotionally, Amelia knew it hadn’t really meant anything.

“It has never been tested on brain tumors before…” Amelia tried to reason and hopefully convince him.

“Oh, why do you think that is?” Koracick sarcastically asked, looking at her as if she should have known better. HIFU, or high frequency focused ultrasound was a non-invasive method that recently was being studied to treat tumors. That wasn’t exactly news in the surgical word.

“No one has really studied it on brain tumors…” Amelia sheepishly gave it another try.

“Yes, exactly!” Koracick interrupted her. “I am sure I don’t need to tell you that even if you successfully blast tumor cells with this new technology there is just no way you can guarantee clean margins and without the full, resection the likelihood that the tumor…”

“…will grow back is high, I know, I know,” Amelia sighed, hating to admit he was right. On tumors that could be later operated or managed with follow up, the HIFU method seemed like a good option. But for brain tumors, there were no guarantees it would work on the long run. “But it could help her buy some time and who knows even…”

“This is exactly why your project got rejected,” during the brief time he’d been at the hospital, Thomas had been brought to speed on the contest and saw the few projects that had made it. “It’s not cost effective, you should know that” he condescendingly rolled his eyes at her. “It doesn’t matter how noble your intentions are, Shepherd. Haven’t you learned this by now? Why would anyone in their right minds invest money on a study that promises no different outcome than a partial resection would?”

“You’re being extremely pessimistic!” Amelia lost her patience with him. “You’re putting all these obstacles when you’ve barely given me a chance to try.” She understood his frustration but he was throwing a bucket of ice water on her plans and that infuriated her.

Especially because she couldn’t refute any of his arguments.

“Look, you know I would love to help you if I could but my hands are tied,” Koracick sighed heavily, regaining some of his calmness. “Trust me, I deal with this kind of debacle all the time and I know you desperately want to help this kid, but it’s better if you just play it clean with the family instead of playing God here, okay?” Amelia scowled, hating to feel like once again he was the professor and she the inexperienced intern, but at the moment, it was exactly how she felt. “I have promised Catherine I’d have dinner with her. She wants me to properly meet her husband,” the neurosurgeon rolled his eyes, as if he was dreading the idea. “I am sorry I can’t help you.”

Amelia watched as Tom Koracick left, hating the fact she couldn’t really hate him for what he was doing. In his place, she probably would have done the same. And now she was back to square one.

For the rest of the day, Amelia stayed immersed in her project, trying to think about any loopholes she could fix to make the idea more tempting for Koracick. She knew he would be in town at least until the following day, so she was racing the clock.

After hours reading in front of the computer, too focused on what she was studying, the click of the door handle started Amelia, causing her to nearly jump from her chair at the unexpected interruption.

“Uh, sorry…” a deep male voice spoke in a low tone. “I had no idea the room was taken.”

Amelia looked up to meet the eyes of the man she was married to. Other than the brief, awkward encounter at the house when she’d walked in on him having breakfast with another woman, they hadn’t really been alone in the same room ever since the day they’d returned their wedding bands to each other.

“It’s okay,” Amelia rubbed her tired eyes, shocked to realize it was nearly midnight. “I was just reading and lost track of time.”

“I was printing some papers earlier today and I think I left my phone charger here somewhere,” Owen justified his presence, pointing at his dead phone. “I’ve been looking for it everywhere and realized I last used it here.”

Amelia got up from her chair and helped him look, scrolling through the files and forgotten objects in the room that was mainly used by interns and residents.

For the following seconds, the neurosurgeon unsuccessfully tried to find the charger, but the lingering silence was growing uncomfortable by the second.

“So…” she cleared her throat, eager to make small talk, “you’re on the liver project, right?” Amelia distractedly asked. She wasn’t really sure. “How is that working out?”

“I was actually trying for a clot factor study but I dropped it,” Owen answered with a shrug. He saw the question on her face and elaborated, “research is not really my thing.”

“Yeah, you’ve always been more of a do-er than a planner,” Amelia smiled.

The neurosurgeon failed to realize at the time of her comment just how personal she sounded. But Owen captured the intimacy it implied and he avoided thinking much about it, choosing instead to focus on his search.

“Why clot factors, though?” Amelia asked after a few seconds of silence.

“I had read about this chained Polymer that was isolated not long ago,” Owen explained. “It basically adheres to hepatocytes and you can sort of choose the cell you’re working with.”

“Really?” Amelia frowned heavily, uncontrollably assaulted by ideas. “You mean like a selective binding protein?”

“Yeah, there is a full catalogue of those at Polymer that have been isolated but even though it sounds good, it’s not very viable for out type of research,” Owen added. “It has an extremely high cost and the patents are just insanely hard to get.”

“Can you tell me more about your clot factor work?” Amelia asked. The more information she had, the better would be to fit all puzzles together.

“Uh… Okay,” Owen saw the eagerness on her face and agreed. It was late and he was tired, but if that was going to make her happy, he could stick around for a few more minutes.

Very patiently, Owen sat down near a computer and logged into a system. For the following minutes, he thoroughly explained Amelia about the idea he’d had. During the entire time, it became kind of hard to ignore her presence. Especially when she stood so close like that. Was it just him, or did her hair smell especially good today?

“This is actually very helpful,” Amelia leaned forward to examine the computer screen a little closer, unaware of the reactions she was causing on the man sitting right next to her.

Owen closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He really shouldn’t be having those thoughts. Well technically, he should, because the woman responsible for invoking those feelings was his wife, but a thousand complications and unspoken issues stood in the way and he really didn’t want to deal with his feelings.

“Do you mind if I print this?” Amelia looked at him with expectation in her eyes.

Owen knew her well enough to realize she was up to something. And judging by the look on her face, it was good.

“Sure,” he instantly agreed, satisfied that his abandoned project had served at least to the purpose of making her smile like that again. He hadn’t seen in ever since the day she’d left their home and his life. “Feel free to use it.”

“Thank you,” Amelia shyly bit her lower lip and made eye contact with him, seeing the warmth in his eyes. She smiled brightly and tried to ignore the way her heart accelerated when he smiled back. “Good night, Owen.”

“Good night,” he reluctantly left the room, knowing that it was the wisest decision.

.

“So you’re telling me you want me to fund a multi million project in which you’ll basically buy the most expensive protein I’ve ever seen so you can blast it with high frequency waves?” Tom Koracick frowned, looking at Amelia with a mix of surprise and admiration.

“Precisely,” Amelia smiled widely, struggling to contain her excitement, “but the real catch here is that, when I blast those cells, the whole tumor will be gone.”

“I don’t know this is insane or purely genius,” Koracick commented, skimming through the paper that had her detailed project.

Amelia had spent the last ten hours coming up with the plan. Her body was tired, but her mind was too alert and excited for her to want to sleep.

“Where did you get the idea?” Koracick frowned, hating that he didn’t have it first.

“A colleague inspired me,” Amelia confessed. “He was going for something along those lines and I adapted his idea to mine.”

“Get him here,” Koracick unceremoniously demanded.

Amelia desperately needed Tom to embark on the project, because she depended on him to finance it. So she decided not to refute. Grabbing her cell phone, she called Owen, gently asking if he could meet her in one of the conference rooms.

About fifteen minutes later, the trauma surgeon joined them, supposing Amelia needed help with something they’d discussed the previous night. But to his surprise, he found her sitting next to Thomas Koracick, the same guy who had taken out her tumor.

Before Owen could ask any questions, Amelia started to fill him on what she’d spent the entire night working with. After Owen had introduced her to the Polymer idea, she had basically filtered through a huge catalog, finding the heaviest binding protein she could that would link to a receptor present only in cancerous cells. Those would heavily increase the mass of the tumor, including the tissue near the margins. Then, once with the ultrasound technique she was working on, it would be possible to work with the HIFU at a frequency that not only would kill the sick cells, but also make sure they had clean margins. Without the heavy Polymer, it was hard to tell and adjust the machine to sort out the diseased tissues from the healthy one, but once Amelia made the cancer cells much heavier, chances of success were incredibly higher.

“This is a brilliant idea,” he stated with conviction after taking a look at her initial proposal. “But the cost would be beyond the charts,” Owen affirmed, certain it would be a problem. “I mean, this Polymer chain you selected costs nearly twice as much as the one I had. It’s going to increase the cost of the project. And it’s not guaranteed it’ll work.”

Amelia was aware of that. She on purpose kept silence, sneakily turning her head to the side very slowly until her eyes finally met Tom’s.

“Give me a concrete reason why I should invest my money on this,” the arrogant surgeon demanded, raising his eyebrows.

“I am going to make history treating gliomas. And if you don’t fund my idea, I am going to sell it to someone who is going to make it happen.” Amelia raised her eyebrows in defiance. “And if I do that, your name won’t be on the paper when it gets published,” she sneakily reminded him, knowing nothing would infuriate Koracick more than letting an opportunity pass. “You’ll lose.”

Tom narrowed his eyes, studying Amelia’s features. She was serious, he knew it. Rolling his eyes, the prestigious surgeon finally made up his mind.

“Fine, but you’re going to report to me. I am going to be here when we use the HIFU for the first time. My name goes before yours on the project,” he dared her, seeing on Amelia’s scowl that she hated it. “And keep this guy, he clearly is more familiar than us with the Polymer thing.”

“No, thanks,” Owen straightforwardly answered. He wouldn’t mind doing it if it was for Amelia, but he had never sympathized with the guy who had once been her mentor and he definitely wasn’t going to be a part of something that would benefit him more than the true author of the project.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Amelia protested Koracick’s terms. “Hell no. Your name is not going before mine.”

“These are my conditions, it’s give or take,” Koracick said in a final tone.

“God… I hate you!” Amelia complained. But she knew she couldn’t give it up. Koracick was her only chance to keep the project going and most importantly, actually give Kimmie a chance. The hard work was just beginning and she would need a lot of help, but it all started with the funding.

“I have a plane to catch, you keep me updated,” Koracick wickedly winked in her direction, loving that he was coming out on top. And just as he was reaching the door, Amelia was collecting her stuff and Owen was logging out the computer, the controversial surgeon turned around, unable to help himself. “If you thought that sleeping with me would give you special treatment, you better think again, Shepherd,” he smirked, knowing he was causing a scene. Even though Amelia hadn’t said it, Koracick had recognized the guy in the room as the husband she’d recently separated from. He was glad he was leaving, because fixing marital drama wasn’t his thing. He was much better at causing it. “Email me as soon as you have phase one initiated.”

Koracick exited without another word, leaving Amelia in absolute shock. Not because he had been inappropriate, rude and extremely unprofessional. She was used to his teasing and didn’t mind it when it was just the two of them. But at that moment, her heart was racing and she had an awful feeling in her stomach.

Amelia knew that, by the time she’d slept with Koracick, she and Owen had already broken things off. She also knew that he had no right to judge her on it, considering he had pretty much slept with the first woman he found right after that.

But she was well aware of how possessive men could be. Especially men like Owen. And she recalled just how they’d agreed to blame all the problems of their marriage on her brain tumor, as if her feelings for him had been questionable while Owen didn’t really have a similar excuse to justify why he’d broken the marriage…

“Owen, I…”

“Good luck with your project,” he violently shut off the computer without waiting for it to properly turn off.

It was obvious he was furious and Amelia got instantly mad at that too.

“You can’t be serious, right?” she asked him just as Owen was about to exit through the door. “Are you really that upset that I had a one night stand? Really?” she followed him to the door, hoping Owen would calm down. He had always failed at keeping rational when he was furious like that. And she was actually surprised that he had been so bothered by it, to the point of getting that mad. “You spent the past weeks fooling around with that…”

“Don’t,” Owen grabbed her slim wrist and stopped Amelia from touching him just as she’d been about to. “Don’t say anything. You don’t owe me any explanations,” Amelia looked at him and instead of the warm, caring eyes, she found the scowl of a guy who was just too mad to even pretend he was okay. “You are a free woman. You can do whatever you want,” he said and Amelia instantly noticed his calm, rational speech completely contrasted with his infuriated reaction. But even though she noticed something was off, never would she be prepared to hear what would come next. “If you have to sleep with Koracick to get funding for your project, then so be it,” he cruelly accused her, knowing he was being extremely unfair. But Owen couldn’t help himself. The news had caught him totally off guard, and the way it had infuriated him had surprised him even more. “Next time just leave me out of it, okay? I don’t want to be a part of another one of your games.”

Amelia felt the blow the instant the words fired out of Owen’s mouth. She didn’t know what hurt her the most, the way he had cruelly accused her of something they both knew wasn’t true, or the cold look on his face as he’d done it.

The first tear rolled on her cheek, enraging Amelia even more.

Screw Owen, she thought, trying to contain the tears that insisted on falling. He had been the one to change his mind… It had been Owen the one to break off their marriage… It had also been Owen the one to jump into someone else’s bed and take a random woman to the house they’d once shared the minute she’d left the house. So he had no right to play that low.

How dare him accuse her of that? Amelia sighed heavily, heartbreak and hurt slowly being replaced by anger and determination. Briefly, she thought about giving up the project and telling Owen to shove his Polymer idea up his ass. But she couldn’t do that because Kimmie’s life depended on it.

And as she went on with her day, blaming exhaustion and sleep deprivation rather than her hurt feelings for the way she struggled to keep focus, Amelia felt more determined to make her innovative project work. It was the only thing in her life worth focusing on.

Owen could take care of his bruised ego on his own. Maybe their idea to become friends was really faded to disaster. After all, they could barely interact without the heavy cloud of their unresolved issues lingering on their heads. And if Owen’s display of anger served as example for what was about to come, Amelia thought maybe it was better to simply never go there after all.

[shenanigumi]

Hello! My question follows one of your recent responses. You mentioned that your favorite 'husband' is Okita (yes! I share it completely), your favorite pairing is HeiChi (for solid reasons) and your favorite character is Kazama due to his complexity. If you want, could you expand this statement? Why is Kazama so complex in your opinion, what are the possible reasons of his complexity (his inner conflict, his motives etc)?

Ohhhh man… ‘If I want’? I’m always down to talk about my faves. You’d best be prepared for a goddamn characterization essay, because I love Kazama to death. Also, it’ll be good practice for getting started on an actual essay, so I thank you for this wonderful way to wake up the brain!!

I’m throwing this under a read-more for those of you who can see it, because wow I talk a lot:

First off, let me get one thing straight: I hate Kazama. I don’t hate him in the same way or as much as I hate Kaoru; my ‘hatred’ for Kazama is rooted more in awe (e.g. “Wow, that was badass, but what an asshole”) than in genuine dislike (e.g. “I AM GOING TO SKIP ALL YOUR TEXT AND THEN KILL YOU”). By no means is Kazama a good person, but one doesn’t have to be a good person to be a good character.

Admittedly, I think the games could have handled Kazama’s characterization a lot better, and hopefully some of it has been resolved in Shinkai. Though I’ve made the connections that fit all the different sides of his personality together, and will hopefully be able to prove it below, I feel like it should have been more obvious in canon. He’s so different between routes that unless you spend a lot of time thinking about him and his character, like I apparently do, it can be pretty jarring.

Since I’ve already practically written an essay on the wiki I made, I’m going to be lazy and use my four fucking paragraphs I wrote on Kazama’s personality as a basis for analysis. The wiki-entries are as objective as I could make them, but I’m gonna give a warning for possible speculation/headcanons re: how I interpret them. Basically, I’m gonna try to explain my perception of Kazama’s characterization, which is pretty self-explanatory as far as why I like him is concerned, but I can’t guarantee that there’s any solid evidence. These are just the conclusions at which I arrived after considering what I have seen in canon:

Kazama is proud, selfish, domineering, and often cruel. He is severely prejudiced against humans, and even more so against furies. He refers to them almost exclusively as “fakes” or “abominations”, and sees it as his duty to dispose of them. Having little respect for those incapable of adapting to changing times, Kazama asserts his superiority of race and cause whenever possible. He is fatalistic and detached from his own violent actions, regarding them as proof of humanity’s frailty without ascribing any agency to himself. However, though Kazama maintains a clear dislike of and disdain for all humans throughout all routes, he strives to keep his emotional distance and remain aloof.

Whenever Kazama must do something he considers unpleasant, he tries to find a way to further his own enjoyment in the meantime, up to and including using Chizuru as an excuse to toy with the Shinsengumi. However, though he initially considers this a game in which he holds no real investment, he eventually becomes genuinely intrigued by the humans and their ideals. In Hijikata’s route, Kazama is unable to reconcile his existing values with his newfound attachment, and—once Amagiri confronts him about his errant ways—finally abandons his title and status in favor of engaging them. Thus, though Kazama has an extreme sense of responsibility and loyalty to his clan and people as a whole, he “[sees] no charm in command”, and is willing to step down from his position and pursue his own agenda if he finds a purpose he perceives as more worthwhile.

First and foremost, I love Kazama because he is not the person he is trying to be. Even though his development is never directly focused on, and in fact I’d actually argue that he develops the least on his own route, that little tidbit is an enormous driving force in his side of the story. Kazama’s Thing™ is that he’s an Honorable Demon, and tries to live Honorably, but he just doesn’t have the temperament to keep his distance. He’s too naturally curious, too easily driven to anger, too arrogant and drunk on power over humankind, and he knows it. He simply doesn’t care until these tendencies cause him to become completely entangled in the Shinsengumi’s affairs. Although this doesn’t happen on every route, the foundation for that frustration is there in all of them.

Essentially, Kazama is in pursuit of an ideal he cannot obtain for as long as he continues acting the way he does… and eventually, his behavior gets him to the point where he must either change that ideal or change himself. Each time he hits that crisis point, Kazama has opted to change his ideal, and that speaks volumes about his strength of will and character. Rather than ‘improve’ his flaws and conform to demonic expectations, Kazama would rather change what he is fighting for. Sometimes, his new goals do change him in turn—but his shifting priorities always precede his development in any direction. (More on that later.)

Kazama is persistent to the point of obsession when he wants something, demonstrated most prominently in Saito’s route, in which he turns his back on his previous concepts of good and evil, joining forces with Kodo for the sake of marrying Chizuru. Similarly, once his pride has been wounded, Kazama will stop at nothing to get revenge, and does not consider tipping the odds in his favor to be morally dubious. This is most evident when (in Hijikata’s route) he procures his family’s legendary sword, the Demonslayer, to vanquish Hijikata. However, despite his willingness to ensure his victory by any means necessary, Kazama has his own brand of honor in that he views lying as beneath him and will always tell the truth as he sees it. Though he may twist situations to his advantage or omit certain information if his own interests demand it, the few direct lies he tells are obviously identifiable. This applies to even the smallest matters, such as insisting that he rested during the night when in fact he was tending the fire.

Kazama is the voice of the conscience, and of radical reason (which I use in opposition to emotion in this case). I love Kazama because he’s never wrong. There are a lot of things you can say about Kazama, but you can’t exactly say he’s wrong. Humans are weak in comparison to demons? Absolutely right. They don’t know what they’re doing? No, they don’t. Furies aren’t supposed to exist? Indeed they aren’t. His methods may not always be sound, and I certainly don’t always agree with them—but his statements are generally true, if harsh.

Despite his aforementioned inability to live up to expectations of aloofness, Kazama is still duty-driven and follows a very strict, largely self-imposed code of honor. This also says a lot about his character, since it does not allow for direct lies, but it is extremely flexible since it is wholly unconnected to his sense of responsibility to his clan. Rather, it centers around whatever he has chosen as his goal—and, once he gives up on the idea of staying out of human matters, his code relaxes. Once Kazama no longer tries to maintain his distance from humans, he becomes more comfortable with acting based on his emotions. Through his fixation on humans, Kazama seems to become more human himself (and his choice to use the Demonslayer is incredibly ironic for exactly that reason).

Now, to circle back around to priorities… In his own mind, Kazama is always fighting for demonkind. If he cannot keep his distance as is expected of him, then he chooses to discard that notion and instead dispose of furies (in Hijikata’s route) or even dispose of humans (in Saito’s). No matter what his goal is, Kazama never abandons his self-identity as a demon or his wish to live an honorable life. He may change his definition of what exactly that means route to route, but no matter what he perceives as the right way to go about fulfilling it, he still centers himself around that idea.

In both Hijikata’s and Saito’s routes, Kazama concludes that it is impossible for him to operate within his current boundaries and chooses to pursue a new ideal, each one still rooted in what he believes to be a cause worthy of the demon he is… even if his people openly disapprove. However, even though anger plays no small part in Kazama’s decision to seek revenge in Hijikata’s route, he thinks of that decision as built more on moral righteousness: a fake spilled demon blood, so of course he should die for it. There is still a rationale for his actions, and while Kazama demonstrates and acts on his anger more freely, he maintains his morals (however gray). His mission is specific and personal, so all his wrath—as uncontrollable as it may be in the moment—is deliberately directed at Hijikata.

However, on Saito’s route, Kazama demonstrates what happens when he stops fighting his emotions altogether, and instead allows them to rule him. Because his goal is now to resurrect the Yukimura clan by marrying Chizuru and to eliminate all humans, his mission becomes less focused, and so too do his feelings. He no longer has a singular cause to fight for; he’s simply thrown in his lot with Kodo. He loses his conventional moral compass somewhere amid his natural arrogance, exacerbated by these loftier ambitions. Since Kazama still believes that the end justifies the means, and this end requires more power and the exercise thereof, it’s little wonder he abandoned his usual reluctant restraint. The only thing that changed was the ideal he chose to pursue, and that in turn altered his behavior almost beyond recognition. The potential was always there; his new goal just turned him inside out.

(Again, I think the game should really have made this connection clearer, because the consistency in Kazama’s motives between Saito’s route and all others is a tad indistinct.)

…And lastly:

Though Kazama’s attitude is cold, direct, and serious by default, he does have a sense of humor, which is dry and sarcastic and usually manifests at others’ expense. He also readily displays scorn, anger, and conceit, all of which appear impossible for him to fully conceal. However, Kazama finds it difficult and/or unpleasant to openly admit more sentimental emotions such as affection, sadness, gratitude, or even agreement.

Yeah, so let’s not forget about the sense of humor, since it’s a more prominent (if somewhat shallow) reason why I love him. On Heisuke’s route, their sass battles are legendary, okay. Plus, on Kazama’s route, some of his one-liners are pure gold. And speaking of humor, as a postscript, I’d also like to point to my previous essay about Kazama and Shiranui’s similarities, which everyone has probably seen by now, but which further my point that he’s really an interesting character. Anyone who can be so similar to another character yet so strikingly different is A+ by me.

Okay, I think I’ve talked enough, considering I just spent two hours putting this mess together. Hope that actually answered your question!!  

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Internet marketing

The Internet is a great place to do business, whether if you're a merchant selling a particular line of products or a service provider creating your residing on the Internet. There is, however, one age-old issue with a business which never seems to go away: people won't purchase what they how to start about.

This is where Internet marketing comes in.

Internet marketing and SEO 2019 Updates essentially involves using various tools and solutions to let your company reach a wider base of prospective customers. Good Affiliate marketing will bring in a significant number of clients, store them interested make more than happy to purchase more of your products.

The not-so-good Web marketing program, however, will be a complete waste of time and also money. At worst scenario, you could even end up doing a lot more harm compared to good to your business if the internet marketing approach is poorly thought out.

Strangely enough, most people actually fall short in their Internet marketing techniques not because they lack the knowledge as well as technical capabilities for making good use of Internet Marketing.

SEO, High-Quality Backlinks, CODE, opt-in lists, getting pages - all of this will not issue if the would-be marketing expert does not know how to actually be successful with the tools at his / her disposal.

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This article aims to health supplement your technical know-how and provides you an idea of how to handle your skill and information. It will allow you to channel your efforts that far-reaching plans.

In a nutshell, this article will teach you how to be successful within your first year online marketing.

The Mindset of a Successful Online marketer

A successful professional needs a vision to be able to succeed.

No, We are not speaking about some grand, messianic vision or something. I am talking about the vision that will define where all the Internet website marketing efforts should go to.

This vision will allow you to focus your time and efforts into anything more productive and will allow you to truly succeed in Affiliate marketing. To begin with, you can define your vision, you must first assume often the mentality of a successful marketer.

This mindset is in the change made up of different frames of thought. Here are some of the more valuable types:

Honest and Sincere The very first thing I have to tell you is the fact that zero truly successful Internet marketer is a sham and a scam. The particular stereotype of the Internet marketer that sidelines as a ruthless vulture and snake-oil salesman are an image that is, unfortunately, more commonly adopted than I would like. But let me tell you that as being a profitable Internet marketer means being successful in the long run - and you can not be successful in the long run if you start your career as a fraudster. Typically the benefits from fraudulent sales or deceptive marketing strategies usually are instant and attractive, but you cannot build a marketing autorité along with foundations laid on lies and deceptions. A product promoter with a name built upon reliable business and client satisfaction will yield more rewards in the long run than an unknown spider who has to change names every now and then lest he/she encounter legal charges.

Willing to Experiment One of the marks of a flourishing Online marketer is the willingness to try things out. Many home-owners internet marketers spend months (even years) studying how to be effective in Internet marketing. This is all well and good, but all this will be for nothing if you are not willing to put your personal skills out on the open market where it will be truly tested under pressure. The truth of the matter is that there is not earnings recipe for success as an Internet marketer. You just have to grit your teeth along with dive into the whole mess. You learn faster, and you will be effective at finding out what works and what does not in your particular line of the exact function. Even your mistakes cannot be considered as failures in case you study from them and use that knowledge to better your self.

Displays and Learn From Mistakes Just because an experiment of your fails does not mean you should just up and forget this particular. The whole point of experimenting is to find out what works and what does not. If something you just implemented does not work, like a vulnerable landing page or faulty search engine optimization, then you have to go back and understand where the mistake stemmed from. This is why it is absolutely essential that you uncover upon any problems you encounter in your Internet marketing method. What went wrong, how did it go wrong, how can I allow it to be better and how can I improve on it? These four queries will be staples when it comes to reflecting on and learning from any kind of errors.

Seeks Excellence in All That Needs to Be Done Good enough is really a much cry for very good, even though both are "good" in a way. Quality is when you give your best to everything you do. This particular quality is not optional if you want to be a successful Internet marketer. You don't need to reduce corners, you don't do a sloppy job and you avoid state "this is good enough. " Excellence is basically concerning ensuring that you do as good a job as you can. This pursuit of quality usually drives you to find better and better ways of performing items, greatly increasing productivity and efficiency. Best of all, your clients will certainly immediately recognize your this excellence and will be far more prepared to at least check out what you have to offer.

Sets Competitive Requirements to satisfy There is another reason you need to seek excellence - the very best and many threatening of your competitors also do the same. You have to usually understand what your competitors are up to. You have to know what they offer you, that they do things, how they market themselves and even exactly how thriving they are. If excellence will push you additional in your marketing efforts, then your competition will define most of the bare minimum you need to work with. This is especially useful when you are new to Search engine marketing tips. Your competitors will most likely have been around for quite a long time already and will have spent a significant amount of time and money to get where they are now. All you need to do is analyze how they do things and you can able to benefit the most from your competitor's existing practices.

Understands the Needs of the Customer This is cliché, I know, but it is really something so many new Internet marketers overlook that it is worth pointing out once again. All people have needs. If somebody comes along selling an element that will satisfy my needs, then I will be more than very happy to part with my hard-earned money. This simple fact underscores the value of spending time, money and effort reaching out and understanding the needs of the target customer base. Many first-time Internet marketers also have this platform of thought where they believe that exploiting their customers in addition wringing money from them as quickly as possible is the only way to outlive others. This thinking cannot be more flawed. Any kind of business, Internet promotion included, will only survive if trust is built between consumer and client.

Reaches Out and 'Touches' Customers This is really another cliché, yes, but it is nonetheless important: your own clients must feel that you actually give a hoot about their fulfillment. I use to come across so many marketing tactics that look and feel stagnant and even too focused on selling a product. The marketers below have made a fatal mistake: they got too assimilated along with exploiting the needs of the customer rather than connecting to these requirements. You must always show that the products and services you present are actually solutions to a problem, not just tools you use to press cash out from customers. It is also worth note that you should not attempt way too hard to "sell" your product to a potential buyer. I possess come across numerous sales pages with a lot of reports, videos, promos, guarantees, and smiling encounters all encouraging one thing or another. The marketers behind these types of pages had been trying so hard to convince me to purchase their products which I simply got turned off and left the very page prior to even finding out what they wanted to sell in my experience.

Transparent Regarding Everything People will be more willing to buy an item if they specify what they are getting. Many marketers love to use elegant prose, great promises, and technical jargon to bedazzle potential customers. That isn't such a bad thing in most cases, but all of this grandstanding will probably be for nothing if the potential client will not understand what often the heck they are looking at. Be as translucent as you can as to what you sell and you will find customers a lot more willing to buy from you. This is especially important for product pricing and fees. You would be amazed at how many sales pages exist on the Internet that not really list the actual costs of purchasing a product or support. Plenty of promises and lots of testimonies, yes, but the lack of home elevators a thing as basic as pricing is enough to turn many people from the site.

Builds a Network of Partners Web marketing is not really a one-man (or one-woman) job. You will need the help of many people to generate yourself truly successful in this field of function. When you get down to the more complicated aspects of Internet marketing, you are going to undoubtedly find yourself working with a whole host of people: content creators, authors, shippers, reviewers, accountants, customer care etc. Everyone you fulfill is really a potential partner, so always take the opportunity to produce together with expanding your network whenever you can. Even other Web marketers can prove to be useful partners. You could swap clients by marketing products and services that complement the business of some other market. For example, marketer A sells fiction ebooks through Amazon whilst marketer B sells leather covers for your Amazon Kindle. Each marketer could work together to promote each other peoples products; efficiently sharing their customer base with each other.

Emotionally Well balanced About the Company Nobody is a heartless machine, but digesting into a good emotional wreck all the time can't be good for enterprise. A successful Online marketer needs to be completely objective when it comes to making organization decisions. Your own personal life must not seep into your work, particularly if your advertising efforts start to get distorted in the process. Beliefs, views, biases, as well as political affiliations, must be kept separate through work, or else they could blind you from seeing things because they really are.

This too goes for the success and failure of your Internet marketing endeavors. Internet marketing is a fast-moving world, meaning things die away as quickly as they are born. Appear long and difficult at your marketing programs and be impartial with regards to which ones happen to be worth spending energy on and which ones have to be dropped.

Utilizes Money Productively and Efficiently One of the more typical problems with Web entrepreneurs is that they do not know how to use their money smartly. Let's say you have gained a cool thousand dollars in product sales from your most triumphant marketing campaign. Bills and taxes tend to be paid, and you have $500 left over. What will you do with this cash? Will you buy educational materials, obtain marketing tools along with hire individuals to handle the time-consuming tasks, or are you going to blow it almost all on a fancy tablet PC? Remember that the cash you generate is not something you have to spend right away. This is a resource useful to make your marketing campaigns even more successful in the future. You could utilize that money to save up for retirement or as a house loan down payment. Whatever you decide to do, just make sure that you always 'invest' your money in something that will be truly beneficial to you.

Ready to Innovate and Create There are a lot of marketing programs out there that can let you know about the basics but do not ever forget to be creative. There is regularly no need to reinvent the wheel, and there are plenty of instances for you to learn from the experiences of the successful (and not-so-successful) marketers accessible. But you do have to remember that people are constantly learning and developing as well. What might have worked two, three years ago will be done to death by now - especially considering the breakneck pace of evolution over the Internet? It is for this reason that a successful advertising consultancy is always willing to try out new things. These brand new issues may not always be successful or turn a profit right away, however they will forever impart valuable knowledge to the marketer overall. This is especially essential when you consider the next frame of thought which is present in the exact mindset of successful Internet marketers.

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Stranded (Chapter 3)

Written By: TheHeathenSlave Rating: Mature for Plane crash, injury, survival, desert island, stranded, drug usage, drinking, alcohol, awkward flirting, voyeurism, watersports, fetish, sexual tension, extreme illness, graphic, puss, wound cleaning, surgery, vomiting, oral sex, fluff, angst, romance, drug usage, assault, near death, happy ending. Fandom:  Real Person Fiction (Hours Era But Modern Day)

She never thought that a trans Atlantic flight could end in perfect paradise with David Bowie. Well…almost perfect paradise.

Previous Chapters.

When they got back to the camp, Leila sat down near the fire. The sun had passed high noon in the sky and had started to descend. She was very much hoping that it wouldn’t get freezing there at night but there wasn’t much way to tell until they spent the night there. David moved the cans of soup from the stone where he’d had them set to heat up. They were quickly placed into the sand to cool a bit. The rock was pushed off the coals at that point and he stoked the fire up more, glancing over at her. In the morning she planned to explore as much as she could. Find food sources, fresh water, and see if by any miracle there was going to be some other human on there. Friendly of course. The problem was if they were all the way out here then they probably weren’t the kind to want guests around.

“Thanks for everything.” She said, touching the sides of the can gently to see if it had cooled enough that she could pick it up and sip at the broth inside.

“No, thank you.” David said.

“What exactly have I done that I need to be thanked for?” She asked with a bit of a chuckle. All she’d really done was pull the metal out of him (which he could have done himself) and passed out a lot. Especially after making him shift her bone back into place. He’d made a fire, helped with the tent, and some how never once muttered any sort of complaint about how his side hurt. Which she was sure it did he just wasn’t saying it.

“I think you’ve done more for me than you have realized.” He said, “A lot of it has to do with anxiety…long story.” She gave him a look and decided not to ask. It probably wasn’t her business. However, maybe he was bringing it up because he wanted her to know and wanted to talk about it. If he had anxiety he could have ended up with a worse person than a psychiatrist.

“I can probably understand, now. I’m a psychiatrist.”

“You said you were an FBI agent.” He said, “And a doctor…now a psychiatrist?”

“You are aware that I can be all three of those things at once right?” She asked with a smirk. The can had cooled enough so she picked it up. After rotating it a bit to find an edge that wasn’t sharp she took a sip of the liquid inside. She honestly hadn’t tasted anything this good in a very long time. Desperation could make a gourmet meal out of just about anything.

“Yes,” He said and picked up his can as well, “Usually people go with one specialty and, there they stay.”

“Except you who has had how many stage personas by now?”

“You get my point.”

“Sorry…” She laughed, “I’m not upset. I know that people usually don’t take this into consideration.”

“So you aren’t a clinical doctor then, are you? Or even a psychiatrist. You must be forensic, which means the most you do on a daily basis is autopsies.” He pointed out.

“Correct. You’re very knowledgeable about this.”

“I read a lot.”

“It shows.” She said and drank more of the soup. “So maybe all I do is cut up dead bodies, it doesn’t mean I lack the medical skill of a practicing doctor. Autopsies get you very intimate with human anatomy just on a dead person. I still had to get the same life saving training and do the same rotations as any other doctor you’ll meet.”

“Considering my options were being stuck here with someone who didn’t go to medical school, I won’t complain too much.” He said, “Just…try not to think of me as a cadaver before I am one.”

“Yeah, same.” She smirked. He smiled back at her and then got more relaxed in the sand to consume his soup. Rest would do both of them good. Recharge them. Tomorrow they could sort out the items they had found more. Some of it would need to be buried before bed, to ensue that if there were animals around they couldn’t get to the food. It was easy to do that in sand since a hole could be dug deeply and with relatively little effort. All they needed to do was jam it into a suitcase and shove it down in there until tomorrow.

When she had finished her soup, she got up and moved to the rest of the stuff. It was all still in the raft. She grabbed the side of it and pulled, dragging it up towards the tent. David joined her a moment later to help, and it was a great help. She cautioned him to be careful of the wound on his side, though. If she had to literally stitch it shut that would risk far more infection than the superglue method he’d used before. She did pretty badly want a chance to clean it out properly but opening again also definitely meant infection. A bad one. He’d probably get an infection now, but it would be mild. Should be. It wasn’t something she wanted to mention to him. Hopefully she’d go through all of the pills and find some antibiotics. She’d already found narcotics. It was more likely that someone was traveling with penicillin than narcotics so she felt her odds were good.

“What are we doing now?” He asked.

“We need to separate the food. Anything that has a scent or could possibly draw animals this way.” She said. “The rest of the things we can move into the tent and keep there. The last thing we want is to attract wild bears here or something.”

“Bears? On a tropical island?”

“Okay whatever then, giant birds.”

“You really don’t know much about island wildlife, do you? This isn’t Australia.” He laughed and started to go through the supplies they had. She glared at him and then smiled as she looked away. Tropical islands and the animals that lived on them was definitely not one of her ares of expertise but she didn’t think her logic was flawed despite her being correct (or incorrect) about what type of animal might come snooping around their camp.

“I know enough. At least enough to stay safe in the areas where I usually camp. When I go to a tropical island it’s usually a vacation not…this.” She said. She found a small suitcase to empty out so they could pack up some of the food. They had found some beef jerky, which would be pretty essential when it came to protein in the next few days unless they could find a way to replace it. She wouldn’t know until tomorrow. They also put the potato chips in there, someone had packed a whole bunch of weird Asian flavors only really found in Japan. They were sealed in their bags but Leila was still worried the scent could attract animals even if it was very mild.

The other things were less fragrant. Some cans of food were left over from the emergency rations off of the plane. There were still a few bottles of left and some bottles of alcohol. Really good stuff that was being transported back. Including an incredibly expensive bottle of sake. There were chocolates, cookies, and a few candy bars. That was about it. A place like this would definitely had some kind of fruit, even if it was just coconuts. The bigger problem would be figuring out how to get up the palm trees to collect them. Also opening them. A big rock may do the trick. This could work reasonably well until they were found. If they were found. No, that wasn’t the way to think. Not only was she with David Bowie, but being an heiress there would be a whole fleet after her. Rika wasn’t the type of friend to give up a search until there was a body found (alive or dead) and she had plenty of money at her disposal. It really was a matter of when they’d be rescued. Not if.

Once things were taken care of to her liking, they added a bit more fuel to the fire. That would also help keep animals away. It was only a few feet from the outside of the tent. They didn’t exactly have blankets but they did have a ton of clothes. The few blankets they did have were still soaking wet, despite them being hung over an impromptu line to dry in the sun. Who knew that airplane blankets could hold that much liquid? Maybe they needed to move them more towards the heat of the fire. They still had a bit of time until the sun was completely set, they could dry in that period. Leila folded up some of the warmer clothes she could find, and piled them into a bed shape. She did this for David as well. A large down coat was all they really would have in way of a blanket and a lot of other clothes had to be set out to dry as well.

When it came to finding other medications they came out fairly well. Another bottle of narcotics, half a bottle of amoxicillin, a bottle of nyquil, some claritin, a few different bottles of ibuprofen, and then a very tightly sealed baggy of pot. Whoever had packed that had risked some serious problems boarding a plane with it. However, she knew from the dank smell the moment she’d opened it that it couldn’t be anything other than marijuana. It had been a long time since she’d smoked any pot but it may be a better idea for a painkiller than continuing to down narcotics. At least there was a pipe also packed in that bag. Along with drug paraphernalia magazines, bumper stickers, and a bunch of hippie style clothing. Like this guy had walked right out of 1977. She’d even found an Aladdin Sane shirt but had decided not to mention it to David in the chance that it would put him in a sour mood.

“So,” She said once he was laying on his ‘bed’ in the tent. “I’m going to need to check your side and make sure it’s clean, at least as clean as it can be given the situation.”

“And if it’s not?”

“Well, there are a few options, including opening the wound again. We have fishing wire and hooks that could be used to stitch–”

“Don’t finish that sentence please.” He said, wincing heavily at the thought.

“I know that it’s not great, David, but, like it or not you’re already risking infection. I want you to take the antibiotics I found.” She said, grabbing the bottle for him. He took it and looked at her.

“You’re sure this is…okay?”

“I know what the medication is and what it does. It’s only half a course but it’s better than nothing. Unless you have a severe allergy to amoxicillin I wouldn’t worry.” She said. He nodded and opened the bottle then dumped one pill out into his palm. “Drink a lot of water with it.”

“You need water too.” He said and took the pill anyway.

“True but we may find other sources of it on this island. If not, we can rinse out those soup cans and boil it. If we can find a fresh source. If not…I’ll have to see if I can remember the weird process of making ocean water drinkable. I think you can filter it through sand or something then boil it after that.” She sighed and grabbed the emergency flashlight from the first aid kit. Getting closer to him she turned it on. The little window in the tent let in light but not nearly enough to inspect a wound. “Now, hold still.”

“This is going to hurt, isn’t it?”

“It’s not going to feel nice.” She said, “You want some codeine to help with it?”

“Yeah that would be…a…good idea.” He said laying more on his side. She got out two pills of the T3 and handed them over then one of the packets of cookies they found.

“You’ll want to eat with that.” She said.

“Two? Leila, I don’t really–”

“You are trying so hard to pretend you aren’t in pain, and if you want to keep doing that, fine, but I know you are from how you tense, gasp, sigh, and move around. If you want to be able to sleep, two is what you need. One will help but it’s really just going to relax you and you need rest if you are going to fight this.” She explained. He nodded and took the pills, opening the packet of cookies to eat them, propping himself up so he could do that while she looked at his wound.

She moved the shirt back and shone the light on him. As suspected, there were already signs of infection. Swelling, bruising, and a bit of puss there. The good news was that the seal was holding up, the superglue that was in the kit had come in handy for that, but it had also managed to seal in any sort of dirt, debris, or rust that would have been left in there that couldn’t be cleaned out before he could seal it. Had she not passed out like she had, she’d have done it for him but she hadn’t gotten that opportunity. She resisted the urge to touch the area. It was tempting, because she wanted to feel if the redness was actually swelling or if it was trapped fluid. If it got any worse she was going to have to start draining the area and that was going to not only be painful, but incredibly gross.

“The good news is, the seal is holding up.” She said, “There is some signs of infection but the antibiotics should help keep it at bay for a bit. I want you to take six within the next 48 hours then 2 every 24 hours after that until you run out.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to space them out and conserve?”

“Not really.” She said, “The faster we get the into your system the faster they will work. Normally you’d be on 4 a day, not three, but I also have to consider how many we have. Antibiotics do keep working even after you finished the course, for about two weeks. So even when you are done they should keep flowing through your system. Your stomach isn’t going to be very happy with this you know.”

“Oh I’m well aware.” He said. He got comfortable again and closed his eyes. She grabbed the large down coat and draped it over him.

“Just try to get some rest, I’ll be outside if you need me, I’m going to try to dry those blankets better and maybe dry out a book or magazine to read.” She said. “I’ll be back in here around the time the sun has completely set as we really don’t have that much light to work with and I want to keep the flashlight for emergencies. That or having to go use the bathroom in the middle of the night.”

“You’re quite the angel you know, even if you are a bit anal retentive.”

“Thanks, I think.” She said and stroked some of his hair back softly. “Call if you need anything, okay?”

“Of course.” He said and closed his eyes. She moved out of the tent and zipped it up. From the outside she opened the other two windows so that a nice breeze could pass through the tent and make sure the temperature stayed tolerable. It already wasn’t too bad in there but she needed him to stay comfortable so she wouldn’t move around a lot and risk tearing open his side. Once that was done, she got to work attempting to dry the blankets. She dreaded the first night there but at least she wasn’t going to spend it alone.

Next Chapters.

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