#yes i could go on like this forever
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thought of the night:
i think i overthink my overthinking.
i literally started to wonder how many stages of thinking that is... the last overthinking is already a second stage of thinking, right? and then i think about the overthinking (the second stage) which makes it the third stage of thinking/second of overthinking... but then i realized in my head i said (trying very hard not to use the word think AGAIN) "i think i overthink my overthinking" which makes it the fourth stage of thinking and the third of overthinking and then i realized the absurdity of this tHoUgHt and wrote it down and...
#yes i could go on like this forever#that's what it's like in my head#cheeses#i need to sleep#why am i not asleep#thought of the day#thought of the night#overthinking#turtely
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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Tommy saying Spencer could say faggot and he'd just let him
and Amanda saying he can say anything and he's just hot
A man and woman of the people tbh
#Tommy youre so fucking correct#I've never felt so seen#Spencer could fully just say fag and I'd be like 'yes. of course. go on.' lol#also I will forever love Amanda so genuinely calling Spence hot while in distress#same girlie same#🪲#f slur tw#f slur#f slur reclaimed#f slur cw#f slur mention#cw f slur#tommy bowe#tommy bones#amanda lehan canto#smosh#smosh cast#smosh pit#smoshblr#spencer agnew
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Some of Tee and Ja'Marr's thoughts on the Tee Situation
Tee said to me 'right now I get to play with one of the, if not the, best quarterbacks in the game, I get to play with one of, if not the, best wide receivers in the game, that opens up so much more for me.' And then he said 'this offense is designed for so many different players to be spotlighted, the way that I am used in this offense so plays to my strengths.' And then he said to me, 'can you guarantee I can have that exact situation anywhere else?'
....
So do I think he's taking a home discount? No. But I do think that he is very very smart, he sees the whole picture out there...
....
It's very easy to compare this situation to what Ja'Marr had at LSU with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. And Ja'Marr has said Tee is very different than Justin Jefferson. That every single minute with Justin Jefferson was a competition. That everything was who makes the more dynamic catch, who has more catches in practice, who runs faster? Everything was that way. Ja'Marr had to speak up and demand the ball a lot at LSU, because so was Justin. Ja'Marr told me that he doesn't have to do that in Cincinnati because Tee, and this is a quote from Ja'Marr, is one of the most unselfish humans you'll ever meet.
#VERY VERY INTERESTING STUFF#also fuck evan this guy is so annoying he KEPT interrupting her through her whole segment and then smiled all condescending like#'what about the money you idiot woman'#and it's like YES the money IS a good point#this could easily all just be talk from tee and ja'marr#because tee DOES deserve all the money he can get#he DOES also deserve the chance at being WR1 if that's what he wants#(he has always done well as WR1 when ja'marr is out/hurt)#so like yes. those are important caveats.#that can definitely be talking points without evan's annoying ass comments and interruptions and looks#(like dude are you not also just some sideline reporter? no need to act like you're better than aditi. BUT WHATEVER)#very interesting considerations! that tee is aware of all the good of his current situation#and may not want to change it at all??#again. could just be saying shit. actions speak louder than words and all that#but the action of dropping your agent (who has the BEST track record of getting guaranteed money) only to go to the agent of the guy#who the front office is going to try to leverage your negotiations against#is like. well. that feels very very deliberate!!#that these two are going to put up a united front. to try to do their best to stay together AND get paid.#which sounds too good to be true tbh!#and then ja'marr comparing his relationship with justin and his relationship with tee!!#both important relationships! both beautiful connections!#and like. justin and ja'marr NEEDED that kind of relationship in college#one of support and competition. pushing each other to be their best. so that they could come into the league#and break all these records almost immediately#and then now a more settled relationship with tee. calmer softer maybe.#that post about how important relationships that let you REST are#man. man. i could go on forever about all of this but this is already too much!!!#tee higgins#ja'marr chase#cincinnati bengals
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Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix | 2007 | dir. David Yates
#harry potter#hpedit#filmedit#pottersource#magicfolk#why yes i am fuming that they're already being remade <3#crazy how they had a 90% perfect cast and they're never going to be able to top it#like jesus christ at least wait another 15 - 20 years man#forever fuming over the lost potential of a first wizarding war series#it could've been so good . and they're just remaking incredibly recent and beloved content instead like WHYYY godddd d dd#death to hbo! death to hbo!#gifs#though it is now possible we could actually get ben barnes sirius#can u imagine .
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do you have any fucked up fics (feyd related or not 🤭) you’ve enjoyed recently? you’re a great author so i trust your taste in other great authors 🤩
okay soooo of course I have to shout out @inkwingsinc's fic, bit my gun with my black-gold gums (which, if you haven't read yet, just call off work now because you WILL LOSE SLEEP reading this divine fic!!!). it is genuinely one of the best writing i've ever read, and the plot/characters/story are so unique and carefully thought through. it's like, god-tier. ink is a treasure, and we are blessed to have this absolute GIFT !
the first feyd x reader fic I read was @peggyao3's fic, preyd, which i still go back and re-read because it just hits. Every. Time. Peggy also has so many more Feyd fics that leave me drooling, and I force myself not to read them all because I *will* devour them all too quickly.
@luminnara also has a great collection of feyd fics, including my personal fave, gladiator!
i also really really enjoyed @sansaorgana's thrown to the wolves fic!!!
if you want something else in the dune-universe, i HIGHLY recommend fleshed in the wife by @thefudge. it's paul x irulan and is INCREDIBLE.
(idk if all of them will be the level of "fucked up" you're hoping, but considering they are all feyd fics, well.... they're all naturally a tad fucked up. i just know that there are a lot of fics out there that I've enjoyed that I'm blanking on. if I've comment on their fic, chances are I enjoyed it and I just have terrible memory.)
tbh i really try not to read a whole lot of feyd fics, especially right now, because i don't want to worm its way into my own ideas/writing, so those are the main ones I've enjoyed!!!
also, if you want fic recs outside of that, trust that I read a lot of...ahem. Weird shit? basically anything in my bookmarks on AO3 are what I consider to be the crème de la crème, particularly this venom x reader fic collection by @snarky-badger or this pennywise x reader fic (yes, really.) i re-read both at least once a year. (currently, i mostly read trad/indie books more than fic, so if you or anyone else wants any recs, let me know that too!)
#fic recs#betty answers#i'm just going to use this ask as a big 'suggestion' post lol#if you read any of these because of me please let me know so that we can scream together LOL#i could go on forever and drudge up some oooold fics off of ff.net but that's for people easy to find thanks to ye olde google lol#but these are the ones that come to mind first!#funnily enough i don't read a lot of multi-chaptered fanfics unless it really captures my interest#i read a lot of one shots mostly at like 3am
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I wish the deleted ending for TQoN was the real ending and not what we got in the mortal world.
#I usually don't mind close the loop at the end style#but 3 books of how Jude wanted to belong in Elfhame#to end in the mortal world where she didn't even like to be in#maybe it would make sense if the point was that Jude thought she would be fine if she had to go back to the mortal world forever#or it would have been a fine ending if is was Vivi's story#or part of Cardan's novela#compare talking pizza toppings and having the land react to Jude's footprints when she thought she would never belong on the islands#again three WHOLE books#yes Jude's family was very important to her#but they could all be in the place where she became Queen to end the trilogy#I'm ranting now but I just pretend the real epilogue is the deleted chapter#can you tell I'm preparing to reread TQoN when I learn to read again?#jude duarte#the queen of nothing#tfota#tfota rant#no one is going to read this I'm sure
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I really hope we get to see Callum go unhinged and war crimes and murder WITHOUT Aaravos's influence because he talks big about darkness but...
"Messed up inside and I mess up everything I touch". Callum, you have done literally nothing wrong ever, you don't deserve the emo Byronic hero lexical field. But do you know who's EARNED the right to say that?
saves his dying son. But has to kill his mentor for it. His beloved wife is horrified, she leaves him, breaking their family.
ends up shifting the blame on the very baby boy he sacrificed everything to save. He became a monster to save Soren and monsters don't make good parents even when they try.
But had he not saved Soren, he would have hated Lissa for preventing him to do so, and the family would have been broken regardless
inadvertently has Claudia taking charge of his and Soren's emotional well-being since he's too much of a workaholic to do so himself
wants to save two realms from starvation. He does. But not only he fails to rescue the two queens of Duren, his friend dies in his arms rescuing him.
His only friend ends up blaming him for everything that ever went wrong before committing suicide. Viren tries to die for him instead but is rejected
He orders his son to kill the princes, Harrow's sons
He orders Claudia to choose to save the dragon egg over Soren if she is forced to choose. Which is understandable, after all Soren chose to be a soldier, and Viren has proven he was ready to do the same
He destroys Lux Aurea simply by walking in
Soren leaves him
He dies a horrifying death. Claudia, his sweet, treasured daughter, goes through unfathomable sufferings to bring him back, to the point that he realises the only good he can do for Claudia, for Soren, for the world, is to leave it. The world is better off without him and he finally knows it
He tries to apologise to Soren but realises it will only harm Soren even further
He commits suicide.
Meanwhile, what has Callum ever done wrong ?
Crushing already dead slugs.
Come on.
#tdp#tdp callum#tdp viren#tdp salt#yes Im salty that these two never got to interact#Viren could have seen Callum going off the rails and go “hoho young man there is no way I stand by while you repeat all my mistakes”#Callum could have blamed all of Viren's wrongdoings on Aaravos since Callum now knows first hand what being possessed feels like#offering Viren a golden excuse to all of his deeds#which Viren would refuse thus proving he's determined to be held accountable#and Callum would be horrified#but still losing it when Rayla is in danger#I love Jim Lake and Strickler's dynamic and hoped we would see the same between Viren and Callum#Callum was given a choice between saving Rayla's family and cutting ties with Aaravos forever but he got to take his cake and eat it AGAIN#the protagonists keep having no consequences for their actions#“dark magic is the shortcut” my ass#at least Ezran has been through failures this season#but that's about it#anyway viren best character#tdp lord viren#lord viren#king viren
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Jazz's little. Her parents are super cool. They're ghost hunters! It sounds like something from a movie about future and scientists and supernatural beings and cool-looking tech. They have cool-looking tech at home. It's even cooler than tech in the movies.
Jazz also has a little brother. He's stupid but he's hers, and she will protect him from anything. Her brother is very small, he needs someone to protect him and teach him about the world.
She knows about the world. She understands their parents much better than him, and she can tell her brother when they shouldn't be distracted. She knows when they're upset and irritable, and she knows when they're too excited and being near them is dangerous because of all the inventions.
Jazz does a very good job keeping her little brother safe.
---
Jazz goes to school. Her teachers say that she's very smart, the best student in class, and very mature. Her parents are proud of her - when she manages to distract them from ghosts. Her brother is still kinda stupid and doesn't know how to properly fight food, but she's always there to protect him, because that's what older sisters do.
Her classmates seem to think that she's weird though. Some of them say mean things and call her a teacher's pet and a show-off. Jazz isn't sure why they think so because she's always trying to be friendly but maybe she's doing something wrong. She goes to the school library and finds a book about people and their communication.
It's a very interesting book.
---
Jazz is almost a teen. She's gotten better at communicating with people. The school library ran out of psychology books, and Jazz now has to go to the city library but that's fine. Human brain fascinates her.
She's been feeling like something is wrong about her though. She even thought that she was going crazy for a little bit. That probably wasn't true because she didn't match any symptoms but she was still worried.
Someone told her that being so good at lying and faking face expressions is not okay. That's probably not true, Jazz is pretty sure almost everyone can do that. Or maybe she's just being a prodigy again. It's a very good thing to be able to do after all. She can hide her emotions from her family when she's feeling sad. She wouldn't want to worry them, would she?
She'll have to research it.
---
Jazz is a teen. She now knows that her parents aren't actually that good. It's something that was really hard to accept but it did explain everything. Her parents are kinda bad at being parents, and they also don't really listen when she tries to explain it to them.
It's okay. She's almost an adult and Danny has her. She can take care of herself and her brother.
She learns everything she can about being a parent and a therapist and tries to use her knowledge. It's hard, but she's a Fenton, which means that she's very smart and determined. She pushes through, and trains on her classmates and herself.
In the evening she writes about her feelings in a journal. It's very important to be aware of her feelings because that's the first step to dealing with them.
She's experiencing sadness. And anger, actually, even though she doesn't like to admit that.
She writes "this family is a fucking mess" in her journal and then covers the paper with ink until the sentence is absolutely unreadable.
---
Jazz is sixteen, and her stupid parents opened the stupid portal, which means that they're even worse than usual. It's pretty much okay when they're just stuck in their stupid lab, making some stupid weapons. It's not that okay when they're out of the stupid lab, because they get their stupid inventions all over the stupid house, and stupid food comes to life, and she has to protect Danny from both their stupid weapons and stupid hotdogs, and oh god everything is so stupid.
She's experiencing anger.
She's also acting perfectly calm and almost cheerfully.
Jazz hates how perfect her fake smile is in the mirror.
---
Jazz is seventeen. She wants to put her headphones on and listen to some loud music. Jazz can't do that, because she gets anxious if she can't hear what's happening around her. She needs to be fully aware of her surroundings because she needs to be able to protect herself and her brother if weapons against ghosts become weapons against children again.
She thinks that it's not okay.
The house smells of ectoplasm, so she'll be extra careful when opening the fridge.
She thinks that she shouldn't know how ectoplasm smells.
Jazz should probably also warn Danny: her little brother's gotten better at fighting food but doesn't notice the smell of ectoplasm. Funny, considering his ghost sense.
Funny, considering that her brother is a half-ghost.
That her brother died.
That she failed at protecting him after all.
Jazz stops breathing to prevent herself from crying, and doesn't need oxygen for a few minutes too long.
Maybe she failed at protecting herself too.
---
Jazz is turning eighteen next month. Her parents are all of a sudden more attentive and caring, as if that can change their almost-absence during her whole life. She doesn't like their attention because she doesn't know how to deal with it. She doesn't even really think of them as parents anymore.
She thinks of them as a threat.
Once she's eighteen, she's gonna try to move out, and she's going to take Danny with her because it's not safe to leave him here. Maybe after she gets a good job and saves some money, she'll even get into therapy.
Jazz thinks that she needs therapy.
She's been having Bad Thoughts lately, and she doesn't write them down in her journal. Jazz stopped writing anything in there ever since she found out that Danny is a ghost. She just couldn't risk anyone finding that journal.
Jazz isn't sure if she should call those Bad Thoughts intrusive. They scare her, and they're Bad, but it could be just her normal thought process.
It's still definitely not normal.
---
Jazz is eighteen. Her parents are very excited, whispering to each other about how they found a perfect present for her, some surprise that she's gonna love.
She doesn't care.
Her little brother is late from school, and it's weird, because he was also super excited about giving her his present.
She's worried.
Her parents brush off her concern, say that Danny probably just got distracted talking with his friends. They don't listen when she says that Danny wouldn't get distracted like that on her birthday because he's not them, he actually cares about her, he doesn't forget her birthdays, and something has to be wrong for him to be that late.
They don't listen to her at all.
She's angry.
Her parents are excited and talk loudly about how they wanted to find a perfect gift for their favourite daughter, and how they managed to do it because they love her so much. She hates when they're excited. It only leads to problems.
They bring her to the lab because of course they do, why would they make a gift that is normal and isn't kept in the lab, right? They usher her in, so obviously proud of themselves.
She hates them.
And she hates them much, much more the next second, because the gift is her little brother in his ghost form, strapped to a table, unconscious and injured, and the smell of ectoplasm is strong in the lab because of his green blood dripping on the floor.
There's a cold part of her that analyses her feelings and tells her what emotions she's experiencing, and that part is very aware of thick black smoke of wrath twirling and twisting under her skin. It's suffocating, and she stops breathing as it invisibly fills her lungs, scared of letting it out.
There's a perfectly fake part of her that keeps the smile on her face as her parents gush about how hard it was to catch the ecto-scum, and what they can do to it - together with Jazz because they wanted to share this with their amazing daughter.
Jazz is black smoke of rage under perfect glass of calmness when she grabs Fenton anti-creep stick. The smile she learned to fake under any circumstances doesn't falter when Jazz brings the baseball bat down on her father's head. It grows a little bit wider when she hits her mother, because Jazz learned to smile brighter when she's hurt or sad or scared or angry - experiencing any "bad" emotion actually.
Jazz is angry when she grabs her weapon.
Jazz is furious when she kills her parents.
Jazz is worried when she checks her brother's wounds.
Jazz feels nothing when she rigs the portal to blow, walks out of the house and presses the button.
She is her parents' genius daughter after all, and she did listen when they were telling her about their inventions. Maybe it would have taken longer to do, but she had Bad Thoughts, and they probably weren't just intrusive after all, because she did what they told her and made it very easy to make a bomb out of a portal. Just in case. Her parents were a threat, and Jazz was smart enough to prepare to dealing with threats, and she was smart enough to make it look like the threats dealt with themselves.
She really hoped she wouldn't have to use that button though.
---
Jazz is nineteen. Her sort-of-friends at uni offer to go to a restaurant, and she tells them that she doesn't celebrate her birthdays. There's a noise of all of them saying that maybe she should try, noise that she really should have expected, because humans are always so excited about any holidays, it's hard for them to understand that someone might not like them. It's not hard to stop that noise though. They shut up very quickly when Jazz says that she had "a very traumatic event" on her birthday.
Good. She doesn't like loud people.
Jazz goes home to her little brother. He's sad because his parents died in an awful explosion a year ago. He's still trying to smile because it's also her birthday, and Jazz is very happy that he's bad at faking a smile.
It means that he won't end up like her.
Jazz hugs her little brother, and he gives her a little present that she adores, and then they sit in silence and eat some takeout. It's very nice.
She never tells Danny that their parents died before the explosion, and that the explosion wasn't an accident, and that their ghosts did form after that because of all the ecto-contamination they had, but she made sure this wouldn't become a problem. She never tells him what she's done, because that would hurt her little brother, and she would never let anything hurt him.
Jazz will protect her little brother from anything.
#I was feeling kinda upset yesterday#and decided to make it everyone's problem#this just clawed its way out and why not put it on tumblr#it's not like many people will see it#I love when a mix of “bad parents” AU with “protective Jazz” AU turns into “Jazz kills her parents” AU#I've seen a few stories with this twist and apparently it wasn't enough for my brain#Jazz deserves to go a little crazy#also yes Jazz is liminal here because of the ecto-contamination#and she found where the ghosts of Fentons were starting to form and destroyed them#killed them twice#double double kill#protective murderous Jazz my love#make her brother upset and she will make sure you're gone *forever*#if it's not clear: the “Bad Thoughts” was her thinking “maybe I should kill my parents before they kill my brother”#and then she went and did something with the portal so that it would be one added detail and a press of a button away from exploding#in case she needs to run away from home with Danny and kill their parents#she didn't know if she would be able to kill them with her hands and not from away because it's hard both physically and psychologically#but she couldn't risk them doing something to Danny#and it was easier than she thought it would be#I've been thinking a lot about how Jazz could get interested in psychology because of her own problems#and how she definitely hides her emotions#if you see any mistakes please tell me because this is also kinda my way of learning English better#danny phantom#tw: murder#tw: death#tw: neglect#this is my first time doing this so please tell me what warnings I forgot and I will add them
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i am handing in my b.a. thesis (on motherhood in gothic fiction) in a few short days and though i have been complaining about having to write it for six months straight, right now i am actually feeling bereft of future opportunities to write academic papers about my silly little interests. for instance right now i really want to research & write about dracula daily & genre & the impacts of the newsletter format on the narrative (the addition of a timeloop)
i think about format and the specifics of narration a lot when i'm writing my own little things and i loooove when the narration - not just the narrator, but the act of telling the story - is part of the narrative. love when the narration is diegetic! love an epistolary novel (like dracula!) for this reason. should read more of them
inventory by carmen maria machado (short story! read it immediately!) is a GREAT example of this. the format of the narration is so integral to the story. does more than elevate it imo, i would argue the story genuinely wouldn't work any other way
g*d. i'm gonna have to become a video essayist
#and yes i may do a something something literature masters degree at some point#but i think that's a fair bit into the future.#also there's like. 3 other bachelor's degrees i'm considering#gonna be like that guy that just kept going to uni n got like 16 degrees over the course of his life.#but also i wanna train as a carpenter. and be a firefighter. and work with queer youth. and work in publishing. and write books. and#take care of forests#and before i do any of this i should probably get some therapy for the mystery shenanigans in my brain#went to a therapist said hey i am reasonably sure i have some flavour of ad(h)d going on up here. thoughts please#and she was like. yeah maybe. but also get this. you could just be depressed girl#depression can mask as ad(h)d apparently#and i was like 🤨 john mulaney voice i didn't know he knew how to do THAT.#but yeah either way something is up in the ol' noggin that is NOT super conducive to the whole 27 degrees thing#FUCK 27 dresses!!! i want 27 DEGREES!!!!!!#and most of all of course#i want to be UNEMPLOYED FOREVER <333333
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah……#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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what louis did to lestat and what louis did to armand are connected and that's important to the story but also. it is simply not the same. nothing louis did excuses armand's behaviour, that's not how anything works, but he did not "cross a line" or "poke at armand," he weaponized armand's history of abuse to belittle and demean him. nothing armand said to louis came close- the equivalent would have been "oooh, i'm such a stupid bitch that my husband can beat me half to death and i'll keep crawling back for more even when it endangers my daughter!" it's retraumatizing and deeply destabilizing to hear that shit from your partner. and in response armand should have been like "well this man sucks when he's high and he's high all the time, so i'm bouncing" but if he'd done that we wouldn't have a story, would we?
edit: i've come back to give armand credit for "claudia didn't love you like we did/do. ps. u used her to distract from your own hurt feelings" that shit does hit in a similar way. however "the ways someone hurt you have left you contemptible and weak. they scrawled 'dirty and annoying' all over your soul in red ink and it's never coming off" is just outstanding work. timeless
#press says iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis is my special little princess i love him forever and i enjoyed that fight so much#probably my favourite part of the episode#and it had a lot of competition#but tbh the discourse feels almost full circle victim blaming#like yeah what he said was that bad. and he still didn't deserve that#but it was very much that bad#also that was blatantly an addict fight#you do this all the time and then apologize#but it never means anything and you always start up again?#plus louis' little aww i was jus having fun... sorry#they have been on this roller coaster louis has been a tremendously shitty boyfriend armand should leave him!#but there's no amount of bad behaviour where you get to do surgery on your husband's memories torture him for days#and self soothe by tormenting his mistress to death!#if you CAN go you go. and armand can go. that's what he has going for him that claudia for example did not#which is why she does get to murder lestat and his mistress#i mean she could anyway#because i love her#but that's the crucial distinction in their behaviour she's trying to get away armand is trying to make louis stay#they're all monsters. this is not about claudia good armand bad. they are both serial killers. but still. these things are not the same#for the record yes louis was also honestly a pretty shitty boyfriend to lestat but y/k.#was he out there being like oooooohhh i'm lestat i have abandonment issues because my rapist killed himself in front of me#because i'm just that pathetic#he was not.#and if he had it would still have been wrong for lestat to beat him up and drop him from the stratosphere.#tw: sa#tw: abuse
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nintendo het baiting w sidon and his fiancee only to pull the gayest shit ive seen in a While by having sidon renew his vows w link (they got married at the end of ruta’s quest in botw. obviously. clearly.) and giving him a power that lets him ‘stay by his side forever’. i see you husbands i am so glad your marriage is thriving. good for them. good for them. they also both have two hands for anyone who wants to pull any nonsense im js. there is room for yona she just has to understand link has held sidon’s heart for years first.
#idk it is just genuinely funny 'oh yeah uh this chara that we never met or heard mentioned in botw has been my childhood friend#and also we are engaged.#anyway so link is my best friend and when he went missing i was so worried i couldnt handle it and i love him the most in the whole world-#and also i wish we could stay together forever and he agreed so i used my sage powers to grant him a piece that lets him do that-'#i love them your honor. sidon tysm for taking such good care of my precious son i trust u and u alone w him in my stead#and ik u take that seriously thank u sidon. my king [bows]#totk#totk spoilers#legend of zelda#botw 2 spoilers#mine#sidlink#nah but fr i completed the water temple a few days ago and havent stopped thinking abt it since i loved it SO much#sidon is my favorite descendant by far bc he loves link just as much as i do so getting to fight w him like that#and having him being there cheering link on and encouraging him sincerely meant the world.#and seeing how far sidon himself has grown and aaaaaaaaaaaaa#im not gonna go into details beyond that bc i dont wanna spoil more than i have but. yes. yes i sobbed my EYES out#at the final cutscene of the story quest for the mission oh my GOSH
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i wish dragon age had as big of a modding community as like skyrim does bc god do i desperate wish i could download a collection of 50gb of mods from the nexus that fixes how broken origin is while making it prettier and fixing whatever the fuck is going on w the romance scenes
it would even be worth sorting through all of the horny boob mods
#yes i redownloaded all three da games today in a moment of weakness OKAY#tomorrow i will attempt to mod dao and brainstorm my warden as i do so#i think i might go aeducan or brosca? i kinda want to try out a fighter and see if i like it at all bc idk if i would in either other games#and i kinda want this world state to each be a different race + class combo for funsies#so i'm thinking dwarf/fighter + human/mage + qunari/rogue#dai is my fave game to play a mage in but i really want to play a qunari and i feel like there aren't any good qunari mage armors iirc? but#it's been forever so i could be mistaken#i'll fuck around and see if there's any good mods before i make my decision i suppose#*dykeposting
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Hi, I sent an ask like 5 minutes ago but I'm not sure if it went through for certain reasons so if it did just ignore that,
I love your fic so much. One of my favourite things is the authors note, I love hearing your rambles and thought processes behind certain scenes,
And JEE💖💖
The jee lovers in the fandom are small but dedicated, I love that man.
Any situation of an older man reluctantly and unknowingly adopting a child they hate and growing soft for them I love, I could ramble on for hours about certain headcanons I have regarding jee and zuko for hours, I need more of them (AND HIM AND BATO (please don't kill them i need AT LEAST 1 queer couple to be happy in this fic🙏🙏))
Also another thing, I do fanart and I really want to do art for this fic but I have no idea which scene to do, is there any specific ones you would want art of?
HI HI HI HI HIIII!!
I didn’t get your five minute ago ask but I got this one!! ahhhhhh my shameful authors notes haha I am very unhinged in there, I think I black out and rub my face in the keyboard honestly.
JEE LOVERS UNITED WE STAND!!!! I adore his dislike of both zuko & sokka in the beginning and now he’s falling hard for sokkas uncle and has pretty much said if anything happens to these kids I’ll burn this bitch to the ground. Unfortunately, Jees situation is going to get a bit more complicated he just doesn’t realize it yet haha.
THERE IS A HAPPY QUEER COUPLE! *gestures at liab zuko* I mean they’re happy like…. some of the time haha. Ok ok I see your point but no promises because you know when I start blowing shit up in liab I can get a little crazy :D mwahahaha.
FAN ART FOR ME?!1?27,771!37/&/ YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME FERAL!!! ahhhhh honestly idk how to pick scenes im so bad at it i dont know what to choose but if you did wanna draw any scenes maybe any from ITF? Your fave or ones scenes you liked idk that’s my suggestion lol.
thanks for this amazing ask you’re a beautiful human thank you!
#I’m excited to unleash next chapter haha#I changed a few details and it shifted the plot to match more of the vibe I want#Wasn’t sure how to pull it off but lying in bed one night I was like LE GASP I GOT IT!! & ran to my notebook and wrote it down#Yes I keep a note book by my bed#and forty cups of water what about it??#Anywayyyy this was such a fun ask and I honestly think we could fill a decent sized bus for the Jee fan club#He’s got lots of fans but I think some like him in certain situations others don’t so the fan hood isn’t jee united#Which is fine different strokes for different folks#But I love writing grumpy Jee haha and him next to hostile sokka and glaring growling zuko was fun#Now zukka is smiling and laughing and things are going along so swimmingly#HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS#THAT WOULD BE A SHAME#;);););;)#:D#im sorry I’m such an asshole I can’t help it#Your ask made me smile thanks for sending it#& if you pick a scene to draw I’ll stare at it forever I promise#I can’t wait!!! But no pressure because it’s about having fun lol#Ok thanks again sorry for being so wild#Dixongravesart#leaving it all behind#liab#itf#ask
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