#yes i am the hot (not a) girl in your compsci class

[aaaaaaaaraaaaaraaa]

I made one (1) excel formula time to retire into the woods and rot

[lithalwrites]

A University Story

It was the start of a new academic year, and there were new faces on campus. Fresh-faced students eager to fill the lecture halls and learn, make friends, and have a good time. And having a good time included exchanging all gossip that trickled down to them via the gossip ladder. There was always someone who had very good connections with upperclassmen, and that person always seemed to know all about everyone. It was advantageous, then, to be friends with that person. Or with someone who was friends with that person. After all, what is life without the excitement of knowing things about the personal lives of others.

One of the freshest and most exciting bits of gossip floating around was that there had been newly hired professors at the school, some of whom were quite young. And of course, with the promise of relative youth, there came a hope for something else.

“I hope the prof is hot,” said one student to another, and several others agreed.

“I’ve heard the new chemistry prof is really hot and also young,” another student piped up. “I hope I’m in his section. It’ll be a reason to go to class.”

“Which one? Dr. Kuroo? I’ve heard the same about him. I can’t wait for lecture. Only reason I’m looking forward to chem, honestly.”

“I heard he’s married, though.”

“I heard he was single.”

“I hope so.”

“No, I’m pretty sure he’s married.”

“Yeah, and how do you know?”

“I saw him walking from the parking lot with his wife. She’s a prof in the department of pharmacology, and she was also hired at the same time as him.”

“Damn. I hope you’re wrong about it though.”

“Don’t we all.”

And so the gossip and the rumours flourished as the days passed and the first day of classes approached. The university had never seen this level of enthusiasm for a first year chemistry course. When the day came for the first lecture, every single seat in the lecture hall was filled, with the women vastly outnumbering the men, when Kuroo walked in.

He looked at the class, and beamed. “Welcome to Chemistry 101, everyone. I’m Tetsurou Kuroo, and I’ll be your instructor this term. I’ll answer to pretty much anything you want to call me, as long as it is not unprofessional.”

He was pleased with the attendance for his class, even though he hadn’t expected this large of a divide between men and women despite having been warned by the course coordinator. It would be an interesting story to share later.

Since it was the first lecture, he went through the course outline in detail, and started on a review of what his students should have already covered in high school.

“Does anyone have any questions before we end for the day?” he asked the class five minutes before the class was scheduled to end.

There was a beat of silence, and then a hand shot up. It was a cheeky looking student with a cheeky smile on her face. “Hi Dr. Kuroo. Are you single?”

“Ah,” Kuroo said. He was a little surprised that a student would ask that question so boldly in a full lecture hall. He could see several people lean forward in their seats in anticipation of the answer. “When I asked if anyone had any questions, I meant questions related to the course content. But just this once, I will entertain this question. I am not, in fact, single. And I will not be answering any more personal questions in class or during office hours. I would like to be your friend, but we have to remember that this is a professional setting.”

Having suitably responded to the nosy question, he told the class to have a nice day, and then headed to the computer science building. Since the fastest way to get to the computer science building was through the medical sciences building, that was what he chose, and found himself running into Shimizu.

“Oh, hello,” she said with a small wave. “Lunch?”

“Yup,” he answered. “Just had my first lecture. It went as well as it could have, really. Now it’s time to eat.”

“Are you done for the day, then?”

“I have to sit in my office and answer a few emails. I doubt any students will show up since it’s only the first day of class, but I have to be there anyway, just in case. No meetings today, so it’s going to be pretty boring. How about you?”

“I have my lecture in an hour, and then I get to take off for the day. We should get lunch together at some point,” she suggested.

“Sounds great,” Kuroo agreed. “Let me know when’s good for you.”

Shimizu nodded, and they headed their separate ways. The rest of his walk to the computer science building was uninterrupted, and soon he found himself in front of Kenma’s office. He knocked.

“Come in,” Kenma’s quiet voice answered. “Oh, it’s you.”

“I’d think you’d be more pleased to see me, everything considered. I’m hurt, Kenma,” Kuroo said, entering the office. He placed a lunchbox on the desk. “Here’s your lunch.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize I forgot it,” Kenma said. “Thank you. How was class?”

“It was pretty good, all things considered. One of the students asked me if I was single at the end of class.”

Kenma raised his eyebrows. “What did you say?”

“That I’m not, and that I wouldn’t entertain any more personal questions. So hopefully that doesn’t happen again. Are you ready for your lecture?”

“Yeah. It should be fine. It’s just an intro lecture, and I’ve got my material ready.”

“That’s good.”

 “Did you hear about that girl in chem 101 who asked the prof if he was single?”

“For real? What did the prof say?”

“He answered the question, but also told us not to ask more personal questions.”

“Probably a good idea. What was his answer though?”

“He’s not single.”

“To be expected, I guess. But sad. So do we know if he’s actually with one of the other profs?”

“Bets are on Dr. Shimizu from pharmacology still. I saw them talking in the hallway.”

“They could just have been…talking, you know? Like colleagues do.”

“Yes, but they’re in completely different departments.”

“True.”

“But there’s more investigation to be done.”

 “Shimizu invited us for dinner with her. Are you good with tomorrow evening after work?” Kuroo asked Kenma a week later. The lunch plans had turned to dinner plans, since Shimizu was dealing with problems with how her course was being run.

“Ah,” Kenma said. “I have a meeting with my teaching assistants tomorrow evening. You two can go ahead without me.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll join some other time.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know then.”

 “It’s for sure Dr. Shimizu.”

“Hmm?”

“That Dr. Kuroo is married to. Someone saw them having dinner at a restaurant downtown.”

“Oh. Interesting.”

 “Knock knock,” Kuroo said, knocking on Kenma’s office door.

“Come in, Kuro,” Kenma answered, sounding fondly exasperated.

“Here’s your coffee,” Kuroo said, plopping down the coffee on Kenma’s desk.

“Thanks. I needed that. There’s so many kids coming to my office hours. I don’t even know why. It’s only been two weeks.”

“It’s because they love you,” Kuroo said. He opened his mouth again, but Kenma interrupted him.

“Don’t say it.”

“Awww,” Kuroo said, but complied. “I should get back to my office. I have a meeting with a student soon.”

 “Dr. Kuroo spends a suspicious amount of time with that compsci prof.”

“Which one?”

“The new one.”

“What’s suspicious about it?”

“I’ve seen them have lunch together, get coffee, and sometimes they even leave together. I park in the same lot as Dr. Kuroo, and I’ve seen them get in the same car multiple times.”

“Aren’t you being a little too nosy?”

“Yes, but what if he’s cheating on Dr. Shimizu with the compsci prof?”

“That’s quite the accusation. And we don’t even know for sure that he and Dr. Shimizu are married.”

“Yes, but I’m pretty sure they are.”

 “I sat in on a compsci lecture with my friend, and the prof dropped something. Guess what it was?”

“I don’t know. Tell me.”

“It was a wedding ring! On a chain. It must’ve not been clasped properly. But it was most definitely a wedding ring.”

“So he’s married. What’s your point?”

“That means, if he and Dr. Kuroo are having an affair, they’re both cheating on their spouses.”

 “You picked a really nice restaurant,” Kenma said, looking around at the place Kuroo had chosen for the night.

“Thanks. The food is supposed to be really good, so I hope it lives up to the hype.”

“I’m sure it will.”

“Don’t worry, I also baked apple pie for later.”

Kenma smiled. “Excellent.”

They ordered their food, and chatted about various things as they waited. When the server showed up with the food and placed it in front of them, she didn’t leave right away. In fact, she looked like she had something to say to them. Kuroo looked up at her.

“Is something wrong?”

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I feel like I can’t not say something.”

“Okay?” Kuroo said, exchanging a confused glance with Kenma. “What is this about?”

“I’m in your chemistry class, and this is very inappropriate, sir!” the server said, gesturing vaguely.

“I’m sorry? I don’t think I understand. What’s inappropriate?” Kuroo asked, even more confused.

“Cheating on your spouse!” the server said, looking distressed.

Kuroo was taken aback. “Excuse me?”

“You’re both married!”

“Yes,” said Kuroo slowly. “We are.”

“But you’re on a date with each other,” the server said.

“Yes,” Kuroo said.

The server flailed again, as if they should see what the problem was. “But you’re both married!”

“Yes,” Kenma spoke up. “To each other.”

The server blinked. “What?”

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” Kuroo said. “We’re here to celebrate our wedding anniversary.”  

The server turned red with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I’ll leave you to your dinner. Happy anniversary.” With that, she walked away as quickly as possible without actually running away. Kuroo had a feeling that they would have a different server for the rest of their meal.

“That was something,” Kenma said.

“It certainly was. It’ll be quite the story to tell people,” Kuroo laughed. “Happy anniversary, Kenma.”