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callunavulgari · 7 months

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Scrapbook 2024 - March

Anyway, for anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things that I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal.

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 70 books and write at least 50k of original content.

Past Years

MOVIES

(Twilight)

(Twilight: New Moon)

A Haunting in Venice

Poor Things

TV SHOWS

(The X-Files - s1, s2)

Shogun, s1

Under the Banner of Heaven, s1 (it gives me the yuck)

YOUTUBE CHANNELS

Watcher: Mystery Files

5 EASY One-Pot Meals From Around The World - Beryl

The Ultimate Guide to Egg Dishes Around the World - Beryl

what i eat in a day (winter comfort foods) - Inga

BOOKS

System Collapse by Martha Wells [Fin]

Some Faraway Place by Lauren Shippen [Fin]

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica [Fin]

Bride by Ali Hazelwood [Fin]

The Warm Hands of Ghosts by Katherine Arden

Dark Heir by CS Pacat

PODCASTS

Watcher Podcast

Nine II Midnight: Horrors of Dreams

Nine II Midnight: Terrors of the Real World

Rusty Fears

The Magnus Protocol* (!!!!!!!!!)

VIDEO GAMES

Stardew Valley, Mabel - 89 hrs, year 2

Baldur's Gate 3, 100(ish) hours

POSTED FIC

3:18 AM | Stranger Things | Steddie | 1897 words | “No,” Eddie says, fighting to keep hold of Steve’s wrist. He catches the other hand as Steve swings it into play. “Steve, no, you don’t have to—“

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

486 words of Steddie singing neighbor meet cute

105 words of Steddie ballet au

587 words of Breakfast Club AU

Fanmixes/Spotify Playlists/Graphics

terror haunting saturday afternoon

DELIGHTFUL FIC

cabin fever by occasional_loverboy | Stranger Things | Steddie | 31k | No more than a few weeks. That's what Owens had told him.

Critical Hit by AidaRonan | Stranger Things | Steddie | 7k | Steve shows up to play DnD. Eddie decides Steve can stay. IF 'King Steve' recognizes the real lord and master of Hellfire.

Wrap Me Around Your Finger by indelicate | Stranger Things | Steddie | 10k | “The whole team, huh?” Eddie feels delirious as he blurts out, “Slut.”

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

People are oblivious to reality.

Rage cannot stay inside.

MARVEL | Revolution

The Batman | Stop, Children What's That Sound

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

glorious - foxes

rose's turn - glee cast

be (acoustic) - hozier

butterflies - tom odell

what a life - scarlet pleasure

shadow - livingston (whole album is great)

find me in the sky (you'll be okay) - neurotic

bgm -konami

sous le ciel de paris - pomplamoose ft ross garren

smells like teen spirit - tommee profitt

#scrapbook #heather says what #heather writes #2024 #yes i am still annoyed that i'm having to do these monthly now after doing it the same way for ten years

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the-biggest-simp-in-the-land · 2 years

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hi new one's! You open for request am I right? If you don't mind I want some Obey me smut for brothers if can't all of them just Lucifer and Satan :>

how will they react when their beloved MC is angry at them for some reason and refuses to have sex for a whole month ( wow cruel) when the MC is not angry anymore and the brothers become Brutal during their Bed activity -////- specific kink ? I'm ok with Breeding and Spanking

I hope this isn't too much to ask, Feel free to ignore if it makes you uncomfortable :> sorry for my horny feeling

Sorry for the delay.

Please don't feel ashamed for doing such a beautiful request and ooh God this is gonna be a long ride, I think, a fun one, I hope.

You didn't specify the gender so I'm going with an non-binary approach.

Minors GET OUT

Please warn me if you see anything that triggers you.

Lucifer

He forgot about your monthly dinner date, cause he was extremely stressed about shit his brothers had done throughout the day and he had a big and extraordinarily boring meeting with diavolo, that he also forgot to mention to you. And honestly, you would forgive him if it wasn't the third month without those dinner dates.

He would try to talk to you, try to reason, even ask for forgiveness, something extraordinarily rare because of his pride, look how much despair you create, just because you are denying him, but when the month is over, ooooooh you better run.

I think it would go like this:

The desperation of getting out of this overwhelming pleasure, as you try to wiggle as little as possible, because the ropes would dig even more into your skin. Tied up on Lucifer's ceiling, for who knows how long, with a bullet vibrator in you, he left the room right after he was done tying you up, and giving you a good old spanking, It felt like you were there for days. Then finally the door opens again, maybe he will forgive you, maybe he will use you to make up for the lost time, it doesn't matter, the only thing that matters now is that he is here.

And boy oh boy, he is gonna make you pay, consensualy of course, you revoked his funny business privileges, he is gonna revoke your walking privileges for at least a week.

Mammon

He gambled a present you gave him in horse racing. When you found out he almost lost it, for the second time, oh well Mammon, say bye bye to mc, you not only don't slam his slammer, but you also don't talk to him, and when he noticed he started to annoy the fuck out of you.

How this goes down depends on you, if you talk to him again, before the month is over, he will annoy you less, still learn his lesson and be a little happier and will go easier on you, but if not… Skedaddle skadoodle your legs are a now noodle.

I believe that Mammon, when domming, is a soft dom, but that doesn't mean that he can't be a little rough sometimes.

"Come on, pretty thing, can't you deal with what you've done?" He looks at you while you suck on his pretty cock, as he gives a light smack on your ass. "There we go love such a good human, the best living being in the three realms." He says as he makes you go deeper.

Levi

He got a little jealous when one of the brothers was out with you doing things, let's say idiotic things, especially since you were out with mammon, probably helping him out of a pyramid scheme.

It doesn't really matter, Levi is lonely, and got so fucking jealous, he almost broke his favorite ultra rare Ruri-chan action figure. After the fit he had inside his room, he went after you and mammon,

Annoy the fuck out of you 2.0

"You're such a little brat, trying to tease this whole month, ignoring me, and in the end YOU end up crying hard and I didn't even started… that's adorable." He coos in a condescending voice.

He would whine, a lot, like really, he will go OUTSIDE just to annoy the fuck out of you and try to convince you. Yes he does relieves himself by masturbating, cause if he didn't you would be trying to kill him.

(I belive it is one of the times where admiral Leviathan comes out)

Satan

I think he would actually be really comprehensive and calm about the whole thing, he understands he fucked up, he may be the avatar of wrath and because of that he would be the best with his feelings and the others… BUT you should have been warned what would happen after the conflict had been solved. After you calm down and his privileges are back, you won't walk soon darling. He will go all out, and I mean it.

"Come on kitty, it's been a month, now it's time for us to catch up for the lost time."

You were in his favorite lingerie, a black lacy one with an opening right in the ass for easy access, a set that he chose during the month you decided to deny him, a really pretty tail plug, that matches perfectly your hair color, along with the cat ears and the adorable little collar in your favorite color. At that moment you knew it was gonna be a long night.

Asmo

Basically he would pass through the 5 stages of grief.

Now you wanna know how did he fuck up?

It was late at night and he went in too your room and you made go out, it would be fine if it wasn't for being the day before an important thing you had (think about, idk, a test?), you told him you could go tomorrow, but he told you it was something he could not delay, it was a sale on his favorite beauty products… yeah.

During the month he will try to make you give in to him, let him pleasure you and him at the same time, he will also tease the fuck out of you and try to invade your room to relive some of this pent up energy, but thanks to Lucifer's magic, he can't.

After the month is over be prepared to be edged,fucked dumb and over stimulated, it will take a while for him to get all this frustration out, you make a note to try this again cause even so the month was hard for both of you the wait was worth it, he learned his lesson and you enjoyed yourself way too much.

Beel

Tbh I don't se him fucking up something really big, unless it involves food… like he ate a present that you made for someone else. I think the conflict happened when you made some angel cakes for Luke, cause you both were exchanging typical foods from the sender's realm. You left the kitchen with your almost ready sweets, but it was missing a small detail, the edible sparkly blue confetti, you left it in your room and went to get it, but you forgot one small detail, you left the angel cakes unguarded, with just a small note for luke. Beel saw them and ate them all, forgetting about what you told him and ignoring the letter that had Luke written in capital letters.

Understandable have a good day.

That was him before he had met you, he would be fine, but after the first time you had done the deed, what was small had grown into a monster.

So you can expect some over stimulation, lots of oral and even some breeding (if he is feeling like it)

Belphie

You were horny, he denied you, you denied him for a month, well that's not the complete story, even though there is some, consensual, sonophilia here and there and shit, almost everyday either of you wakes up and have some sex. Well one day he decided to deny you, just for fun, and tease you all day long, talking dirty with his sleepy voice in the middle of the class. When you arrived at home he just eddge you and did not let you come once, all the while he gave you that lazy smirk.

Well that's when you decided to tease him for way longer and you managed to keep that up for a month, he didn't seemed bothered by it, until he just burst into your room pinning you to the bed.

"You actually think you can go around like that, teasing me for this long and nothing would happen to you?" He growls at you.

If you want more or an actual fic,please tell me <3

#obey me smut #lucifer smut #mammon smut #levi smut #satan smut #asmo smut #beel smut #belphie smut #Dom obey me boys

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ailelie · 5 months

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YNAB Convert

So I've been using YNAB for about a week or two now and it is the best.

I thought checking my budget before making purchases would make my financial anxiety worse, but it is the actually the opposite.

I actually feel in control of my finances for the first time in...a while. When I check my budget, I can see whether or not I have money for the thing in front of me. If that category is empty, I can see how the rest of my dollars are assigned and decide if the thing in front of me is more important than some of my other priorities.

Instead of trying to calculate my upcoming bills vs my bank balance, I can just look at my budget and see 'yes' or 'no.' And if it is a 'yes,' I can spend that money without fear or guilt.

Instead of always looking backward and wondering where my money went, I can look ahead and see how my future bills are taken care of. It is a very good feeling.

The system does require though that you use.

Before you buy something, glance at your budget. If the relevant category (e.g., dining out, fun money, books, rideshares, etc) doesn't have funds, decide then where you'll pull the extra money from.

Each time you make a purchase, log the transaction. When YNAB imports the transaction from your bank, the app will match the two so you're not stuck with doubles. This is important because it ensures that your numbers are always accurate and you don't accidentally spend the same $10 twice.

The other task is reconciling. You should do this at least once a week, but, honestly, I do it every time I wake up in the morning and it is a good feeling. Basically you just log into your bank and compare your bank account ledger to your YNAB account ledger and make sure they match. Then you compare cleared balance (the balance NOT including transactions that are still processing) to the cleared balance in YNAB. If they match, you're golden. This is annoying the first time you do it, but after that? It takes me 3-5 minutes in the morning max.

Oh, and you have to set your budget up in the first place. That will take some work. I printed out a month of transactions from my bank and figured out how I had been spending money. I also identified all of my monthly charges and when they hit my bank account. Then I used that information to set up my budget.

...and promptly realized that my category spending limits and goals were too generous and so started thinking about how I could adjust my spending habits, without going cold turkey on anything.

One thing I did was separate my Lyft spending into two categories: transport to/from church and random rides. I cannot lower the costs of the first Lyft category, but I can commit to taking public transport more than I had been--especially with summer coming. I'll have to reassess when the weather turns again.

But I also love it because I am certain I am setting aside enough money for the things I care about. And, since that money is tucked away into its own category, I don't accidentally spend it. Way too often I'd just look at my account balance and utterly forget I needed, say, $50 for a Mother's Day gift. Then Mother's Day is a week away and I have no money to buy a gift. Not this year!

Meanwhile, I am already saving money to get a new laptop next year--something I've been planning on buying. Of course, I'd planned on just doing a payment plan. It is going to feel so good to be able to buy my preferred laptop out of pocket.

Christmas always puts me in a tailspin, but now I am already saving money. And it is there in my budget and the only way I use those dollars is if something else comes up that is more important to me than being able to buy presents.

And that's something else I love. I'm not comparing the purchase in front of me with some nebulous 'other' I could spend the money on. I'm comparing ordering in because I don't feel like cooking with the weaving class I'm super excited about.

When weaving is on the line, I realize I have enough energy to drop some frozen fake chicken nuggets and tater tots on a tray to bake.

Anyway. This app is so far fantastic and also? I'm making a plan for getting out of debt because that feels possible now.

They'll give you a 34-day free trial, no credit card needed. If you're a college student, I think you can get a full year free.

#ynab #budgeting #it is basically the envelope system

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shootingsun · 2 years

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pllsss tell me abt ur interpretation of A pls ty

HI YES I WILL DO THAT (this post is long and I am willing to rant more if I must)

Under the cut!!

Okay so A's real/true name was Aren Cadmus (because I think it's a pretty name and that is enough reasoning) - he knew his own name but never really talked about it to anyone but B, and that is what I shall refer to him as in this post along with A.

He was born on the 26th of September and was 19 when he died.

Backstory plot thing:

Before B came to the orphanage, A was the golden child of the orphanage, sweet, polite, respectful etc. Actually, Beyond didn't like him at first! Is this because he considered A to be a lost cause due to his short lifespan? Yes. But also because he thought Aren was too boring for him. But A thought that B was interesting and cool and did want to be his friend. They became friends eventually though, through the fun little thing we call the Power of Incredible Violence.

When they were both 9, B tried to run away from the orphanage in the middle of the night. He then ended up cornered in an alley in the small town nearby by someone with v obvious malicious intent. (This person had a very short lifespan, B noted at the time). Beyond was gonna fight back when they attempted to hurt him, but there was actually no need to because here comes Aren with a stick to beat the shit out of the attacker. Like, beat them into unconsciousness as they bleed out on the floor. Even at this time, B was not exactly Normal (TM) and was not scared in the slightest, infact he was a little bit like ":0, I thought u were basic but I guess I was wrong??". He then decides that this person is now going to be HIS person and that they can commit crimes together. It's a very good bonding activity :D. (Did the attacker bleed out and die? ...maybe, if they did, A didn't know).

Aren was totally down for violence and other sketchy things, it's just that he lied about it. B respected his commitment to his 'I'm a good person who most definitely wouldn't commit aggravated assualt' act. A was very pleased that he had made a friend who he didn't have to constantly lie about his moral compass to. It worked out for both of them :D. Also all of the teachers/adults were scared shitless because the seemingly sane one was now hanging out with with the kid who would shove children down the stairs in order to get to his monthly Akazukin Chacha manga delivery the minute it arrived. Aren liked that B didn't hide his darker tendencies, he really envied it sometimes. They became a chaos duo that may or may not stab you if you talked smack about the other.

Still plot but not exactly backstory:

It took them around a year of annoying every adult in the place but eventually A and BB got to share a room. A's favorite child was Linda because they both liked art and also because she wasn't a threat to his Sucessorship thing. He didn't care as much about being L as B did but he wasn't dispassionate about it or anything, he just tried not to make it his whole life (and failed miserably). He was never actually diagnosed with anything but he was Autistic (every Wammy kid is). Aren was told that he was gonna be L's sucessor when he was 13, but they had planned for him to be a successor earlier than that.

Also him and Beyond were kinda partners but also maybe not because nobody actually knew except for them what they were and they never told anyone. (I think it was romantic, but I'm open to anything as long as they were close ngl)

A was really good at drawing, he had sketchbooks and stuff. Really big on semi-realism but also liked to do abstract art on bad days. He liked to have B model for him, Aren liked to draw people, Beyond liked attention, it made both of them happy. These sketchbooks were hidden in the floorboards of his room and have pages missing from where Beyond ripped out all the pictures of himself after A died.

Aren had a lot of practical knowledge, but also wanted to kill himself during exam times and couldn't for the life of him figure out how to revise. Most of his high grades came from coursework and debates he had in lessons.

Swivel chairs were his favorite kind of chair, he always sat in one if he was actually working. In the library, he would be willing to start a fist fight as long as it meant he got the swivel chair.

He stopped trying to hide how much he hated everyone around a year before his death. A just really stopped caring. Because Gifted child burnout, I don't need to elaborate.

His love languages? BIG BIG BIG ACTS OF SERVICE KIND OF PERSON. If he likes you he will do things for you!! (Like bash a guys head in with a stick). For receiving love language wise... I feel like he likes company. He wants to know that they're there, that they won't abandon him, so I feel like Aren would be into quality time and words of affirmation.

A knew Jujutsu! He was a purple belt at it and would use it for self defense purposes.

Would slide down the staircase of the orphanage and nearly kick people if they were sat on the stairs. Many people would stick near the middle of the stairs because A would give absolutely no warning and just be coming down a massive staircase at high speed about to kick anyone within legs reach for the lols.

"B corrupted you!" "No I corrupted myself, B is my enabler I'll have you know." - Aren Cadmus, 1999

He had a complex about feeling not listened to. A felt like when he talked, nobody actually cared what he was saying and that he couldn't do anything about the way his life was. It was sad.

#long post #a death note #death note a #aren cadmus #im making that my tag for him #death note #death note headcannon #i guess??#or is it more #death note oc #beyond birthday #bb death note #b death note #death note b #genderfluid beyond birthday #isnt mentioned but its still there ya know?#shut up sunii #i talk a lot

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rev3rb · 3 years

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Hello! I’m back for our monthly chat :) The chapter really started off strong with a Gureshin flashback. Love a good reminder of Guren’s motives even if we don’t have any more info on his plan. Also love the immediate switch to Yu and “Mikapoo” being silly. And the way they addressed Yu’s maturity like we’ve talked about. I personally don’t wanna see Shinya and Yu together, but her flustering compared to Yu’s obliviousness was cute in a “Oh, Sweetheart 🙃” kinda way lmao. However, I am super onboard with Detective Mika tryna put the pieces together . He really seems to be the most in tune with the natures of some of the ppl he’s around. Plus I’m still obsessed with his current character design (his tail brings me constant joy 🥺). Krul immediately attacking him was a really cute way of checking in with him. And Ferid’s entrance was just golden (poor Kimizuki 😂) even if I am very confused as to how he plans to bring them all along in a truck with seating for 3 ppl max lmao. At least Ferid and Guren are making their partnership extremely clear; although, I kinda doubt that they intend to tell them the whole truth like they claim they will. But it would be helpful for us readers if they came clean lol. Overall I found this chp. pretty cute. Still waiting on actual answers tho!!

Hello! Sorry for the late reply yet again, but the first week of the year is generally a busy one for me.

They really had to hit us hard with Shinya's death this month between Vampire Reign and Catastrophe at 16 didn't they? It hurts. PLEASE STOP (but not actually). The immediate transition afterwards was whiplash worthy, but it was a good form of whiplash. "Mikapoo" is certainly an... interesting nickname lol. I wonder if it'll stick.

Shinoa and Yuu were pretty cute. Gotta love how much of an idiot Yuu is with this kind of thing. Sometimes it can be (and is) overdone, but with stuff like this interaction, it's cute.

Detective Mika! We, mainly you, were right about that! The only new thing we learned this month was the fact that Mahiru was apparently watching that night all those years ago, but as of now, it's not a huge thing. It makes sense that she was there given that Guren was there. What I find strange is those weird things floating in the background in that flashback.

They weren't present in the first chapter, so I'm thinking it has something to do with Yuu's memories/his head since that's where we first saw them (if that makes sense). I suppose it could be a retcon too, but either way, we won't get answers at the moment, so no use dwelling really. As for Mika being more in tune with people, I suppose you're right. There's also the fact that he's more suspicious of people so he's more actively paying attention to them compared to Yuu who doesn't really care to pay attention to that sort of thing even though he's shown himself to be quite observant and aware at times.

Cute way to check in on him? Yes. I suppose lmao. It's certainly one way to do it. The sentiment was heartwarming at least. Vampires may not have emotions, but Krul cares about Mika to at least some degree and that's apparent.

I absolutely love how every time Ferid shows up now it's like "Guys! Stranger danger is back!" Never won't be funny. Ah, the truck. You ever play gen 3 (ORAS/RSE) pokemon? It's like that. Just shove them in the back of the van. It'll be fine.

Overall, this chapter was definitely more of a filler chapter, but I really enjoyed it! It's the kind of reset the manga needed after dealing with the First the past few months, but it is still kinda annoying that we were baited into thinking we were going to get answers from the First last month then didn't. It is what it is though. I agree in that I highly doubt that Guren and Ferid are going to share everything at this point as there seems to ALWAYS be more to the story. I have a bit of an inkling that the First may fill in some gaps/give another side to things for the readers if we ever get that explanation. The manga has set both Yuu squad and Co. and the vampires (Rigr and Co.) up for exposition dumps. Kagami could do them back to back if he wanted. I'm also curious about where Guren and Ferid are going to take everyone. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what next month brings.

Thanks for the monthly ask and again, I'm sorry about responding late!

#Owari no Seraph #OnS 110 #OnS 110 spoilers #Anonysis asks #Asks

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pompadourpink · 3 years

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Hi mom I really liked your post about procrastination but I'm not sure how to find balance between doing too much and doing too little, any advice? Love u *3*

Hi bb,

For those who missed it: being productive when working from home + how to be more productive/disciplined.

I’ll tell you what works for me and you can adapt it:

Monthly trackers:

Mine consists of: Have I slept well/enough? Gone to bed by 12? Eaten well? Learned anything (Spanish, movie, show, book, online course, music practice, etc)? Worked? Worked out? Done my skincare routine (morning and evening)? Spent no money?

To all of those, I answer yes or no. I work out right after waking up, so if I managed to go to bed earlyish the day before (which is pretty easy as I have an 11pm alarm) and find the courage to go for a run at 6, half of my daily wishes are already in the bag by 7AM.

The learning part is never a burden (I drop what I don’t like), I do my skincare religiously, eat very well and work a lot, so by the end of the day, I usually get a whole line of YES, and it’s very motivating. Sometimes, one thing is being procrastinated, and I end up doing it naturally because I don’t want it to be the only element destroying my whole line of successes.

Not to repeat what I said in the linked article, but remember to keep yourself happy. Three out of six daily wishes are treats (skincare, learning, exercise), so there’s no way they’re going to burn me out.

To-do lists:

I have daily and weekly lists: the weekly one is mostly to remind me of little things (deciding which book I’ll read during the first half of April or taking out the trash on Monday night) but the daily one (3x3x3) is a bit different. I have three sections: self, job, house.

The personal one can be about pampering (lasering legs), learning (following the first week of an online course), or socialisation (scheduling a Skype session with a friend). The professional one can be about the blog (writing a post), lessons (correcting homework) or the future website or channel (making an infographic). The domestic one can be about chores (mopping), maintenance (brushing the beast) or administration (paying a bill).

One of those gets a little frog drawn next to the ticking box: that’s the horrible task I’ll have to do that day. For example, tomorrow’s frog is March bills: it will take me at least 45 minutes because it’s a whole lot of numbers, is still very new to me, has to be perfect, and I really wish I could pay someone to do it for me. But I can’t yet, and in the meantime, here I am. Eating the frog is the first thing you want to do in your day, to avoid postponing it when it starts getting late and you’re completely unmotivated.

Whatever those daily goals are, be grateful you get to do them. There are people who wished they could do that stuff that annoys you.

Timed tricks:

The first is the two minutes rule. If something takes less than two minutes, do it now (making the bed, cleaning your mug, putting something back where it belongs) as procrastinating will force you to keep it somewhere in your head, taking room and making noise for no reason. Telling yourself all day long “I have to clean the mug, I have to clean the mug, I have to clean the mug” because you know it will be stained if you don’t do it quickly is exhausting and stupid. Do it now, save your mug and relieve your poor brain.

The second is the twenty minutes domestic session (within an hour of waking up): put a timer on and take twenty minutes to adult. Do a few dishes, wash something, vacuum a room, change the sheets, etc. Not only it forces you to move and wakes you up but if you’re the type not to be hungry in the morning, it will probably help with that. You can leave your straighteners to heat for the last five minutes, get to it when you’re done, and boom, it’s not even 8 and you’re already looking like a million bucks in a clean apartment.

And guess who talked too much?

LTDR: Do the worst task first. Make it enjoyable. Practice gratitude. Make life easier for future you. Drop what doesn’t make you happy.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

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a-woman-apart · 4 years

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Watch "I'M BACK! WHY I LEFT YOUTUBE FOR TWO YEARS!" on YouTube

youtube

This scared me so badly, because this is EXACTLY what happened in my life, except it was all in The Reverse.

I graduated with an Associate Degree in Music Performance in 2018, but instead of running TOWARDS my dream/calling I ran hardcore AWAY from it. My pride in graduating only lasted a month before I declared myself Utterly Unmarketable and sought to go after a "real degree" and get a Big Girl career.

Between 2018 and 2020 I had major life changes.

My dad died of stomach cancer

I broke up with my neglectful boyfriend

I turned down a Full Ride to a major college

I hospitalized myself for Suicidal Ideation (Sept 2019)

I quit my job of 5 years

I started working for my best friend and became her Office Manager

I started dating the Love of my Life

I lost my friend group and peer support

I lost my mind and left college due to COVID-19 (but not before making one of my best decisions in taking a Screenwriting class because I WANTED not NEEDED it)

Started distancing myself from the toxic women in my life and definining Womanhood/Adulthood for myself

Visited my brother's grave after over a decade of waiting and got closure

Fully acknowledged my childhood trauma/abuse

Rediscovered my sexuality

Was disowned by who I erroneously thought was a close friend of 17 years over my political views

Joined and exited Unity2020

Turned in my car for repossession

Spent a week in the hospital after having a severe, paranoid psychotic break, but came out completely free of the vice of self-consciousness I was living under

You know what is nuts? I feel in many ways, I have completely reverted to who I was in the summer of 2011. I was off my meds, and it WAS mania, but personality-wise, the tempestuous, gum-chewing, cigarette-puffing, flirtatious, humorous, free-spirited ball of fire that drove all the way to Colorado on a whim wasn't rebellious, SHE WAS ME.

I just wasn't Me around the right people, and it wasn't the Right Time.

My inner Sagittarius moon would remain in a dormant state for almost a full decade. I would spend the next 9 years heavily sedated, sleepwalking through life, only alive at The Sound of Music.

It was Torture to feel so much but be afraid to express myself. I had to Hide while doing a major that demanded that I Command Attention. I am by nature "dramatic", "theatrical", "emotional", "expressive" but that part of me was so suppresed that I was frequently told I sang with excellence but without emotion.

Aside: During my 2011 manic episode, I spoke a lot about Doppelgangers. Without going into excessive detail, this is a German word that means "Double" and it is considered bad luck to encounter yours.

In the past 2 weeks, I have encountered people that look/sound like me (Josephine is Nigerian-Canadian and I am Nigerian-American and I kept thinking about her work even though I initially disagreed with her lot) and a woman with my name (different spelling) who was NOTHING like me and I also think might've had malice in mind for me.

I was DEFINITELY an agnostic atheist when I started this year, but as a result of undergoing so much weird shit I almost certainly believe in God, and yes, "God is a Woman." (More on that later)

Also, I realized that I really DID, as many teenage girls, "lose interest in math and science" but that was because of the terrible, unfactual way it was presented in my homeschool curriculum and by my mom, who was a Math major but whose disinterested detachment made every algebra lesson an excercise in torture.

I have always loved biolology and anatomy and I remember so much more chemistry than I thought. Geology class in community college was amazing and also helped me understand-- even more than the Theory of Evolution-- why young earth creationism was completely impossible.

As for math, I spent 15 years thinking it was my greatest weakness when I have had to use arithmetic in cashiering, my managerial work, and my monthly budget for the last 7 years. Also, as annoying as it was to hear constantly, my mom parroting "What you have to do to one side, you have to do to the other" (but in reverse) gave me the ability to do Algebra quickly and (mostly) effortlessly. I could never get A's, but I got a B in Quantitative Mathematics with no real help aside from occasional teacher input and the "Help me solve this" function of MyMathLab.

Here is where it Gets Weird. I am a Creative. I have been writing stories since I was 6 years old. I have loved Story all my life. My parents were in math and science fields and they completely lacked any creativity. COMPLETELY. It was part of why they were so religiously rigid, authoritarian, and draconian. There was no room for spontaneity or childish imaginativeness.

Looking back, I had major sensory and processing issues. I was likely speech delayed, I learned to read late, and I recently confirmed that when I am stressed my dyscalculia kicks in bad (it IS real). Numbers and symbols get really interchangeable (like an 8 and infinity symbol become kinda the same) which is why I had to recite phone numbers out loud to remember them or write them on colorful backgrounds so I can see them in my head as an image. Also explains my aversion to math but my ease with fractions (1/2 is half a sandwich, etc).

My spatial awareness is also shit when stressed. Before I turned in our car, I had earned the nickname "U-turn" from my boyfriend because on that Floating Death Machine left and right got completely crossed, frequently.

By the way, I struggled with right and left until I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I literally didn't understand the concept of a mirror and 3D space, meaning that the basic understanding that my right is someone else's left didn't come into play until I had an argument with my [now-deceased] brother about it.

What is so weird, is that because of years of correcting for these issues, my sense of direction, ON FOOT is good, if not better than most people. Also, once I realized that, given the opportunity, I very much do whatever I can with my left-hand, and that my hearing is MUCH better than I even thought, I am far less clumsy. Depth perception is still crap, but that is probably also because I was forced to spend years without the glasses I needed (and got earlier this year after living with chronic eye strain)

When I talk about these "issues" it is in line with female autism, but you know what? If really do have adult autism, then I am a Complete Boss because I have pwned that ho.

After being rehospitalized, a kind nurse suggested I may have PTSD and suggested medicine for insomnia and nightmares. It was extremely helpful. I had been looking into C-PTSD for a while, because I didn't think I had "suffered enough" to have "real" PTSD. But that isn't how diagnoses work.

Btw, I still have Bipolar I, Psychotic Features. Another kind nurse told me I don't need anti-psychotics, and no, I don't. I was given Zyprexa by a bitch nurse and it was like getting drunk. I stumbled the halls, almost fell over (possibly did) and woke up with a neon "Fall Risk" bracelet. Anti-psychotics also fucked up my menstrual cycle for years and I have had lingering hormonal isssues. Haha no thanks.

Anyway, I digress. Of course I am fucked up. I lived under family members who questioned my reality, attempted to crush my dreams, threatened me with physical punishment any time I behaved in non-neurotypical ways, violated my rights and interfered with my treatment even though I was a full legal adult, undermined my relationships, tortured and socially isolated me, etc., all under the guise "of knowing best."

In minority cultures, our darkness hides in plain sight, and ESPECIALLY in the Bible Belt, with its supeestition and idolization of familial hierarchy/patriarchy, victims of financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse have no where safe to turn. The Long Arm of the Law is often Short when it comes to "breaking up the family", and women and children are victimized openly with little to no intervention.

On top of doing my Creative Work, I plan to create legislation to make sure that what happened to me and my siblings isn't allowed to go unpunished. We lost my older brother, and I almost died, too, but Enough is Enough.

The Time is Now.

P.S. If Josephine is an Air Nomad I identify as a Water Bender. I basically have no water in my astrological chart, but water signs bring me great comfort in times of need (and make bad romantic partners for me obviously)

Also, this is one Bad Biyatch.

I also found out I am an ISFJ, not INFJ. Yep. Gonna be a Playwright and Director. I want to be a part of the action, not just writing about it.

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thedivinefish · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and moonlight path and the slow awakening

TGIWednesday News

I never know what spirit will bring forth to write about. But I was given the topic of the slow awakening. So many folks ask me daily, What’s my purpose? And my immediate from the hip reply is, “I don’t know, what do you like?” We all must follow our passion/dreams and signs. I am fortunate enough to do what I love and contribute to others 7 days a week. Folks often ask if I get tired. I always say, it’s not plumbing or roofing, THAT would be tiring. As this Pandemic winds down, and it will, I am sending you the energy of the slow awakening. Flowers don’t go from seed to instant flower. There is a process. Know that you are on the path, that this can be your great comeback and your awakening into what is better, healthier and more profound and an opportunity to show and contribute to others along the way!

Started these last year, but am working on 3 Summer projects for you! To be released over time before years end. We’ll see when they’re ready and released, you’ll get PLENTY of notice for sure! New Audio MP3’s in the pipeline The Creative: Artist, musician, writer, empath, healer, designer... Without even mentioning the above this next Audio MP3 will bring about the subtle energy, frequency, and vibrations to allow spirit to show you the simple creative way! My Aching Neck and Back: A shorter Audio MP3 recording for those with ocassional neck or back pain. We’ll go step by step top to bottom through the spine and correlating parts. Freeing, releasing and super charged praying for releases of any and all discomfort. Even a prayer at the end where we’ll include bulging, herniated or slipped disks, pinched nerves, bone spurrs, scoliosis, surgical pins and parts, bones, mucles, ligaments, tendons, joins, fascia, and cartilege etc. My Life’s Purpose: Still stuck? At the crossroads? Looking for passive income or your career 2nd act. This Audio MP3 will call forth the creative energies, frequencies and vibrations of change and inspiration that can inspire, invigorate and enhance your next chess move!

Monthly Zoom Event - MySwitchWorks

Next Zoom Event - Wednesday May 27th 7:30 PM Eastern Time These calls have become very popular and a great opportunity to get some specialized clearing each month. It’s always fun when we bring our tribe together and create MASSIVE clearings to help/contribute to all of us!!! Stay Tuned for the new sign up link and topic in the coming weeks.

ACCESS CALL REPLAYS HERE Abundance Switches Luck Switches Love & Romance Switches Youth & Vitality Switches The Plandemic: Moving Forward

TGIWednesday Download

~ LIGHTING THE WAY ~

I believe think, know and feel that the light of this full moon will illuminate what I need to change and create a path for success. I know when, where, how and why to allow spirit to cast the light on the simple way allowing my life to flow with the divine. I'm ready, willing and able to go with the flow of the planets, the sun, the moon and the stars that will shine a light on my success. I'm asking for this in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Wed. May 13th The Alara Canfield Show - Register Here Thurs. May 21st Soul Talk with Patty Malek - Register Here Mon. June 22nd - Straight Talk for the Soul w/ Cari Murphy - Register Here Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir - Register Here

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

**NEW TIME** TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden - Listen Here

4pm - May 12th - Nicola Grace | Intuitive Readings LIVE www.nicolagrace.com

4pm - May 19th - Kimberly Marooney | Angel Readings and Intuitive Readings http://kimberlymarooney.com/angel-expert-kimberly-marooney

4pm - May 26th Rev Debbie Dienstbier | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by # International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country. If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you. Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

MAY 6th "Today I will ignore the naysayers and those who do not believe in me. I will be steadfast in my direction and the pursuit of my dreams and visions. I will recognize and decipher through the signs that spirit sends and I will realize the fulfillment of my dreams."

From the Fish Box

"A very good afternoon to you Jimmy. I'm writting to appreciate you for your care and understanding during my session last month. One of my principal challenge was my injured spinal cord at the lumber and cervical area, from an accident i had in 1998 for which I carry an annoying implant following surgery. This situation like I told you led to my early retirement since I was in constant pains always tired, cant bend or kowtow. You worked on the lumber area that day with nothing eventful however around the third day I discovered that I could now stand up from sitting without the usual drama due to pains, I can now bend for a minute or two and stand up without much pains. It's like a dream to me Jimmy. I'm now planing on subscribing for more sessions. Sir I want you to know that I mean it when I say THANK YOU for this gift to me and I praise God for bringing me your way." - A. Daniel

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Sessions at the Tampa Office

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS *Appointments are either phone or Skype until further notice

I'm scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments at Kodawari Yoga Studios from 10am-2pm EVERY FRIDAY.*IMPT! You must call Kodawari directly to schedule times and dates with them AND pay them directly at the front desk prior to your appointment Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk PRIOR to your appointment - 15 minutes 38$ or 30 minutes 68$. 3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! To All Mastery Students: If you haven't taken the time to complete the course and book your Certification test with Jimmy - now is a great time!!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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divinefishingtips · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday and moonlight path and the slow awakening

TGIWednesday News

Monthly Zoom Event - MySwitchWorks

ACCESS CALL REPLAYS HERE Abundance Switches Luck Switches Love & Romance Switches Youth & Vitality Switches The Plandemic: Moving Forward

TGIWednesday Download

~ LIGHTING THE WAY ~

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

**NEW TIME** TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden - Listen Here

4pm - May 12th - Nicola Grace | Intuitive Readings LIVE www.nicolagrace.com

4pm - May 19th - Kimberly Marooney | Angel Readings and Intuitive Readings http://kimberlymarooney.com/angel-expert-kimberly-marooney

4pm - May 26th Rev Debbie Dienstbier | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Sessions at the Tampa Office

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS *Appointments are either phone or Skype until further notice

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! To All Mastery Students: If you haven't taken the time to complete the course and book your Certification test with Jimmy - now is a great time!!

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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365dailyaffirmations · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday and moonlight path and the slow awakening

TGIWednesday News

Monthly Zoom Event - MySwitchWorks

ACCESS CALL REPLAYS HERE Abundance Switches Luck Switches Love & Romance Switches Youth & Vitality Switches The Plandemic: Moving Forward

TGIWednesday Download

~ LIGHTING THE WAY ~

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

**NEW TIME** TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden - Listen Here

4pm - May 12th - Nicola Grace | Intuitive Readings LIVE www.nicolagrace.com

4pm - May 19th - Kimberly Marooney | Angel Readings and Intuitive Readings http://kimberlymarooney.com/angel-expert-kimberly-marooney

4pm - May 26th Rev Debbie Dienstbier | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Sessions at the Tampa Office

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS *Appointments are either phone or Skype until further notice

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! To All Mastery Students: If you haven't taken the time to complete the course and book your Certification test with Jimmy - now is a great time!!

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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advancedthetapractitioner · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday and moonlight path and the slow awakening

TGIWednesday News

Monthly Zoom Event - MySwitchWorks

ACCESS CALL REPLAYS HERE Abundance Switches Luck Switches Love & Romance Switches Youth & Vitality Switches The Plandemic: Moving Forward

TGIWednesday Download

~ LIGHTING THE WAY ~

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

**NEW TIME** TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden - Listen Here

4pm - May 12th - Nicola Grace | Intuitive Readings LIVE www.nicolagrace.com

4pm - May 19th - Kimberly Marooney | Angel Readings and Intuitive Readings http://kimberlymarooney.com/angel-expert-kimberly-marooney

4pm - May 26th Rev Debbie Dienstbier | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Sessions at the Tampa Office

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS *Appointments are either phone or Skype until further notice

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! To All Mastery Students: If you haven't taken the time to complete the course and book your Certification test with Jimmy - now is a great time!!

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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