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butch-snufkin · 4 years ago
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fuck it time for holmes adaptations alignments. i couldn’t think of an antonym for homophobic sorry
an explanation because altho i hate explaining myself.. the last scale i did with no explanation literally gave me no legs to stand on 
granada holmes: the flirtatious smiles... the lingering eye contact.. fr what was the reason!!! jeremy brett said yes i am bi yes i will be playing sherlock holmes yes he will be bi too <3 and then did it (and then said “watson shouldn’t have a wife). icon
soviet holmes: scores higher on the fruity scale than granada holmes only because it did what granada holmes didn’t: gave us holmes and watson cuddling in a carriage
raffles: raffles is literally based on oscar wilde and george cecil ives (two pretty loudly gay men for the time) what more evidence do you want. not as fruity because raffles spends too much time being a bastard to be tender with bunny
the great mouse detective: i know everyone and their mother has an opinion on basil and dawson but the real fruity legend is ratigan. born out of immense homophobia but literally carried the entire movie on his back. he is my favorite character
house md: everything about the early 2000s was homophobic. except for house and wilson spending the rest of their short lives together 😔👊 rsl and hugh gave the gays everything
psych: girl idk but i feel this rating in my bones and that’s all that matters
my dearly beloved detective: they’re lesbians, harold. bit homophobic tho because jane gets a husband and shirley just? is alone i guess? so fuck that
rdj holmes: homophobic because they made irene adler and holmes kiss multiple times and nearly have sex that other time.. second movie is more fruity thanks to gay icon stephen fry 
new russian holmes: they put watson and mrs. hudson in a relationship which is just?? huh??? once again irene adler and homes are in a relationship :/
enola holmes: tewkesbury is rather fruity. enola is a lesbian. BUT also they got henry cavil aka THE no. 1 straightman to play sherlock and also mycroft is a whiny bitch 
sherlock gnomes: everything about the gnomes movies screams heterosexual even if elton john does the music for both. however sherlock gnomes do be a bit fruity
will ferrell holmes: god do i even need to explain this one
bbc sherlock: i don’t care that it was written by a gay man. it’s the equivalent of a hate crime and i can never watch b*nedict c*mberbatch in anything ever again without feeling pain  
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